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Look! It’s SCIENCE!

We can certainly understand the impulse to want to go with anything that might make the Washington Post’s very well-sourced allegations against her husband go away. Now, in the attempt to discredit Roy Moore’s fifth accuser, Kayla Moore is now just posting any crap the wingnuttophere tosses onto the interwebs, like a dubious “forensic expert” post from the Stupidest Man On the Internet and some random Facebook guy’s contention that the restaurant where Mr. Moore allegedly tried to rape Beverly Young Nelson just plain never existed in 1977.

Oh, and never mind that the two conspiracy theories cancel each other out. We’ll get to that in a moment, but let’s also mention that Ms. Moore says Team Moore is “gathering evidence” that all the accusers have been paid (possibly by George Soros):

As of the moment, the only “evidence” of such a thing was that stupid Gateway Pundit story reprinting baseless claims from a Twitter account that has now been deleted. But maybe they have some really shocking evidence that doesn’t come from a nutty rightwing website? Many things are possible!

Ms. Moore has also linked to that Breitbart story proving that in 1979, there were no phone cords long enough to allow a teen girl to take a home phone into her own room:

Her latest posts are just sort of sad, really. One links to a Facebook story by some rando in OHIO, claiming that the Very Idea that Beverly Wilson worked at the “Old Hickory House” in Gadsden, Alabama, is IMPOSSIBLE, because obviously Gloria Allred stole the name of another restaurant in Georgia:

We can’t say we agree 100% with Mr. Baker’s police work, there. He claims a search on some online business directory shows the Gadsden Old Hickory House has only been in business since 2001. Ergo, it just plain didn’t exist in 1977, and Gloria Allred made up the whole story by stealing the name of some place in Georgia that DID have a 40th anniversary. There’s a small problem with the logic there:

But let’s say that picture is a liar. If that restaurant had never existed in 1977, or if Ms. Wilson had never been a waitress, we’re pretty sure the Alabama press would be full of stories debunking Wilson. Instead, AL.com brings us a story about other people in Gadsden who remember Moore being fishy at the mall, and another waitress at a different restaurant who remembers Moore being kind of creepy, albeit in the ’90s:

Another former waitress, Victoria Beverstock, told AL.com today that she was 20 years old and working at The Poor House restaurant in 1992 when Moore came in a few times a week to eat and do paperwork.

She said he made her and the other waitresses uncomfortable by staring at them and flirting.

“He watched us girls quite openly,” said Beverstock. “His eyes crawled over our shirts and our backsides. He was so open about it that I would try and handle his order as quickly as possible.

“When you didn’t smile and flirt back with him, give him an opening, he became rude and demanding,” she said.

Pretty sure if Beverly Wilson had been claiming to work at a nonexistent restaurant in 1977, someone local would have noticed. The AL.com heard very quickly from three pastors who wanted their names removed from a supposed letter of support Ms. Moore posted to Facebook Sunday, but which appears to be nothing more than a copy of an earlier list of pastors who had endorsed Roy Moore on his campaign website:

The letter appears to be a version of one already posted on Moore’s campaign website. That letter, posted prior to the primary, contains all the same wording as below but with three extra paragraphs at the top, including a sentence referencing the Aug. 15 vote.

Pastor Thad Endicott said he was not contacted about the most recent post from Kayla Moore.

“The list that has recently circulated was evidently copied and pasted from the August endorsements without checking to see if I still endorsed Moore,” said Endicott.

Endicott, pastor at Heritage Baptist Church, asked that his name be removed from the Moore endorsement.

AL.com also notes that “at least one of the pastors listed as supporting Moore is no longer at the church listed on the letter.” The Moore campaign didn’t reply to questions about why the whole post was lifted — minus the paragraphs about the then-upcoming primary — from the campaign website. Why, it’s almost as if Ms. Moore were fibbing, which a good Christian lady would never do. If the local paper caught that, you can bet a lie about an entire restaurant that didn’t exist in 1977 would have been noticed. They’re pretty sharp that way, and would definitely have noticed Beverly Wilson was not working as a waitress at a cocktail bar Old Hickory House. Probably Gloria Allred lived there in 1977 and put the restaurant listing in the phone book, as Occam’s Razor would suggest.

Then there’s this:

That’s a link to a Gateway Pundit story about some self-proclaimed handwriting analyst who knows for a fact that the handwriting in Beverly Wilson’s high school yearbook couldn’t possibly be Roy Moore’s, because the loop at the bottom of the “R” is a lot longer in the yearbook than on a signature from when Moore was Chief Justice of Alabama, and also the number “7” looks different in the two dates:

Says the genius handwriting analyst in a tweet, “Unless Moore’s handwriting has changed, the yearbook signature is a forgery.”

Hmmm… could someone’s signature change over 40 years? IMPOSSIBLE! Also, the name of the restaurant is not “Olde” Hickory House, so whoever added the location and exact date was clearly a lazy forger! Or maybe Roy Moore misspelled it in 1977, which seems more likely than a forger’s carefully invented evidence falling apart because they neglected to make up the right location? We think a criminal forger would be careful enough not to make a mistake some dope on the internet would freak out about. Or is that simply more proof that there never was an Old Hickory House in 1977 — a point the “handwriting expert” failed to even consider.

Also, why are we even thinking about this bullshit this much? It’s Gateway Pundit. Of course it’s bullshit.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to buy Dok some aspirin. Or booze.

[AL.com / Gateway Pundit / Kayla Moore on Facebook / AL.com / Gizmodo]

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  • Msgr_MΩment

    Can Mrs. Moore show us a sample of hubby’s handwriting from her own damn middle-school yearbook?

    • coozledad

      Too bad the Old Hickory House has been torn down. There were probably several instances of Roy’s writing his phone number on the children’s menu.

      • clubseal

        Gross.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        On the walls of the stalls in the “little girls’ room” also too.

    • richardgrabman

      I’ve wondered about that. She married Roy Moore when she was 23, and Moore says in his autobiography that they had dated for “several” years. More than six?

  • JohnBull

    I’ll pray for you, Kayla. Recent history has shown it doesn’t do fuck all.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “When you didn’t smile and flirt back with him, give him an opening, he became rude and demanding,” she said.

    Shame that Hooters hadn’t been invented yet.

    • Shan

      Where’s the fun when it’s consensual?

      • clubseal

        Well, that’s where all the fun is, if you’re like me. Guess I missed the nonconsensual day in “Being a Fucking Humongous Douche 101.”

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I like to think I put the ‘nsen’ in ‘consensual’.

    • Resistor Radio

      Don’t you have to be 18 to work at Hooters?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Damn. Raisins, then.

      • Clark_Nova

        36C, I think.

      • Clark_Nova

        36C, I think.

      • Clark_Nova

        36C, I think.

    • Ergoetal

      That’s WHY Hooter’s was invented.

  • Um, YES, there were phone cords long enough to get to other rooms in a house. Some of them were insanely long. I know, because I used them.

      • Mart

        I still have that cord on the kitchen phone. Stretches to about 25 feet. But the really long cords were the ones on the floor from the wall jack. That is how in the oldie movies the phone gets delivered to the big shot at the restaurant. Yes, I am an old.

        Also too, those signatures are essentially identical, considering one is on a formal document, and the other in a yearbook,

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      Yo HANG UP! I GOT IT! HANG UP!

    • cmd resistor

      We had a wall phone in the kitchen that had the world’s longest cord. IT was there at least from 1966 to 1990.

      • ThatGuy

        That’s a 24 year long cord. Gonna be hard to beat that.

    • The Wanderer

      I have a landline phone, and the cord’s a good six feet long. It’s useful in emergencies (the phone; although the cord can be used as a garotte).

    • Ellie

      So did I. I had 3 kids and a friend had 5, so we mostly visited on the phone. We found with our long cords, we could dust, vacuum, sweep, wash dishes, bathe skinned knees, give hugs, cook dinner, and bring in the mail, all whilst on the phone. I don’t remember how long that curly cord was, but it reached into three other rooms from the kitchen.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Also too, I remember back then if you wanted a phone in another room Bell telephone had to come in and physically wire the phone to the wall. They didn’t have phone jacks, even. So long cords were common.

      • puredog

        Nah, with a drill and basement access you could do it yourself. I wired phones all over my parents’ house on the main floor.

      • Meccalopolis

        yeah, an extra phone was a luxury. most houses had the wall mount in the kitchen with a long chord

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Selling the “princess phone” to teenagers was a thing. My parents were of the old school that an idle mind was the devils workshop.

    • grindstone

      Ours went around the kitchen wall (of course it was in the kitchen, on the wall), then you could open the basement door, sit down on the steps, and close the door on the cord. That way, you could talk to your gal pals privately.

      • norfolkandway1

        Indeed! Exact same experience. Plus irritating Mom when she had to step over the outstretched cord. (Teenagers.)

  • exinkwretch

    Rejected defenses so far include (because Alabama) “Roy is a flaming homosexual and would never pursue underaged girls.”

    • TJ Barke

      They’d definitely cut him loose if that were the case.

      • Darrell Imaginarian

        He does look like a cowboy in a Gay Pride parade. All he needs is assless leather chaps.

        • TJ Barke

          Pedantry time: all chaps are assless, they’re meant to be worn over pants.

          • laughingnome

            I say. Some chaps have rather large asses. Or arses.

          • coozledad

            You mostly use them when shoeing or trimming hooves. The ones I’ve got are cheap polyester and completely crotchless.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          “Roy G. Biv” is his stage name…

      • Ergoetal

        Get on it, Gloria.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      “Roy only dated underage women of color at the time”

      • Spurning Beer

        “They weren’t underage; they were al dente.

    • coozledad

      Not with that little gun.

  • TJ Barke

    Your husband’s scum, lady, and so’s your jailbird kid.

  • gallbladder

    Shorter Kayla Moore: “Just as long as the judge don’t think of young poontang while we’re knockin’ boots, I’m happy.”

    • aureolaborealis

      Or “… as long as he’s knocking boots with teenagers, he leaves me alone.”

  • Indiepalin

    Stand by your man. Give him two arms to cling to. Sitting on a park bench. Eyeing little girls with bad intent.

    • coozledad

      She was too young to fall in love
      and he was too young to die.

  • coozledad

    Whatever Kayla says, there ain’t been no fuckin’ in her house since the last time her son got arraigned.

  • Anna Rompage

    Poor Kayla, I guess she now knows what Huma Weiner felt like after Anthony strayed from her

  • ariel_gee_398

    She seems nice vicious and unhinged.

  • Also, too, if you want to see signatures change, buy a house. By the time you get through the closing you’ve had to sign and initial so many things that it just turns into a scribble.

    • The Wanderer

      As someone who’s had to do that three times, I endorse the above statement.

      • Resistor Radio

        ISWYDT

    • GoutMachine

      Or even a car. Mine turned into a straight line, basically.

    • Paul

      I’m a real estate attorney. My signature is now reduced to a sguiggly line that vaguely resembles a letter or two. I tell ALL my clients to just get it done, there are no extra points for neatness. Know what really fries my ass? Somebody that has perfect penmanship and simply has to show off. They usually have long ass hyphenated last names and must include their middle name too.

      THOSE fucking signatures NEVER change. But everybody else? They are all over the place.

    • Amy!

      You don’t really have to wait that long. My signature had decayed to a big loopy capital A followed by a squiggly line and a downward scrawl, another big loopy capital A, and a capital L (swoopy loop up, line down, tight loop around and line out) with a squiggly line that has a dot over the right side, by the time I was in grad school. There just wasn’t any more entropy available to add to the system when I got the house!

      • richardgrabman

        That’s more than I use… a scribble with something resembling an R at the beginning and a small “g” and “r” and “n” somewhere towards the end. But, then, having moved to Mexico several years ago, we don’t have signatures, but “firmas” (marks) which don’t look anything like any letter in the Roman alphabet for most of us.

  • The Wanderer

    Wow. That’s a Republican level of marital solidarity, that is. Does she wear a good conservative cloth coat?

  • Charles Wolf

    Yea, Yea, but while you’re all staring at the shiny object,,,

    … back at the Senate Finance Committee where Hatch can’t talk unless that guy behind him
    with the eyeglasses has his arm up Hatch’s back… and his tongue &
    lips removing wax from the old man’s ear,,,

    Republicans are busy repealing Obamacare.
    Again… still,,,whatever.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      It won’t fly – again. The language they would need to use won’t meet the Byrd Rule.

      • Charles Wolf

        I know it won’t fly. It can’t even walk or crawl.
        They are trying to slip it into their “TAX BILL” trojan.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Prayers appreciated

    Yes, I am praying for his victims, Kayla. Glad we agree on that.

    Wait, what?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c715d60367960bbe95a2a88b06358843ebaa01f74b95b07bb8a06b37d80f1a19.png

    • janecita

      I really wish that The Giving Tree, had said that to the fucking greedy boy.

      • Shan

        I used to read that book over and over as a kid and get choked up every damn time.

      • Meccalopolis

        there’s a satire somewhere where it does precisely that. I think it’s called the taking tree

      • Lance Thrustwell

        That book splits people. I understand people who hate it and think the tree is a chump. I just happen to be in the other camp. I am literally unable to read that book aloud.

        • janecita

          I don’t hate it, I just hate that the poor tree never became assertive.

          • Arolpin

            It may be the one thing that Shel Silverstein wrote that I don’t like. Oddly enough, I understand it a lot more as a parent, but I was a very independent child, my mom claims we were free-range babies, and we pretty much were. Even as a young kid, I knew that the kid was a selfish little twit, but I couldn’t understand why the tree allowed it. I get it now, and I still think the tree was a pushover, and the kid grew up to be a self-centered buffoon.

  • clubseal

    Hell, my signature is different almost every time I do it. And it’s not to hide my identity; I’m just a sloppy writer.

    • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

      me also too.

    • janecita

      I thought it was only me!

      • clubseal

        Don’t even get me started on the credit card things where you have to use your finger to sign.

        • Shan

          Wot?

          • clubseal

            Stores that use iPads/iPad-type-things typically don’t have a stylus, so you have to do your signature using your finger instead, giving an example of a signature as it might appear during an earthquake.

          • coozledad

            The co-op in Durham has a fingerprint reader that’s cued to your credit card number (if you want to pay that way.)

          • Shan

            That scares me.

          • coozledad

            It’s purely voluntary. I opted for it because I never can remember my membership number.

          • clubseal

            Start at 000-0000 and work your way up.

          • coozledad

            Worse than that. it’s only four digits.
            I go there so seldomly it never stuck.

          • clubseal

            Shit, that’s easy. I wrote a computer program a few years ago that could match a four digit password in a range of a dozen to a couple hundred tries. (I’m not a hacker or anything, I was just farting around with my newfound Java coding knowledge).

          • Shan

            Oh! I thought you meant use a fingerprint!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          When I broke my arm badly, I had to sign with my other hand.

          It always went through.

          And it should. Legally, it does. If I had refused a payment, they could have gone back to videos to prove it was me.

          This is, of course, a whole different question from whether a phony lets Judge Roy off the hook.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Me three.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Actual handwriting experts know this fact, of course.

      Idiots trolling the interwebs looking for reasons to let Judge Roy off the hook pretend otherwise.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
    • Shan

      No way.

      • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

        Way!

    • JMP

      Although I like where it’s coming from, the phrasing of “thy neighbor’s daughter” is pretty unfortunate, as it basically describes girls and young women as men’s property; of course that’s in keeping with the patriarchy of the Ninth Commandment it’s based off of.

      • clubseal

        “Thou shalt not covet the young woman who was born into thy neighbor’s family” doesn’t have the same ring to it.

        • Shan

          “Children” would have worked.

          • clubseal

            I guess I’m just a stickler for some facets of the language … it doesn’t make sense to me to change it to “children” if you’re worried that the possessive makes them sound like possessions. I’ll never call my niece “the girl born to my sister who is related to me through that relation.”

      • Shan

        That’s where my brain went when I almost posted how fucked up it was. But then I realized they’re using the commandments thing against him.

    • puredog

      Of course he is. Moore’s signature characteristic is that he is one stubborn motherfucker. That’s the only reason we’ve ever heard of him. Quick: name ONE other justice on the Alabama Supreme Court.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Wouldn’t a simple “Thou shalt not ATTEMPT TO FORCIBLY RAPE thy neighbor’s daughter” have worked just as well?

  • GoutMachine

    I love the smell of desperation in the morning.

  • When does Roy show up with a fake ‘stache and black hat and claim he is the Evil Twin and did all that bad stuff making Roy an angel?

    This is all becoming a fucking telenovelas…

    • coozledad

      Don’t mention Roy and soap too close together. It makes the mind retch.

  • DAT

    It’s “Olde” in the city directory which kinda matches what’s in the yearbook note.

    • doktorzoom

      Yeah, need to add that

      • Resistor Radio

        Yeah, but Allred planted that after the Gateway Pundit demolished her fake story. Obviously. Duh.

        • GoutMachine

          Using Obama’s time machine, no doubt.

          • Resistor Radio

            Powered by Hillary’s uranium!

    • cmd resistor

      Yep. Which is also why the Georgia restaurant, which was the “Old Hickory House” is a completely different place.
      A 2 minute google search reveals that Old Hickory House was a chain, mostly in the Atlanta area, about 23 restaurants, which are now closed.

      • Me not sure

        I believe that there is still one left. The owner of that chain was a local Atl entrepreneur named Jack Black (not the actor), who build Atlanta International Raceway. It was later bought and the name changed to Atlanta Motor Speedway. The “Olde” spelling is a dead giveaway.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Okay, so which is easier to believe?
    1) Gloria Allred found some disgruntled Trump supporter who doesn’t hate Allred on sight, paid a good (but not great) forger to fabricate Roy Moore’s signature, did a half-assed job on researching the background details of Gadsden, Alabama in 1977, all so the story would fall apart.
    OR
    2) Roy Moore is lower than a snake full of buckshot.

    • The Wanderer

      3) Roy Moore is a disgusting, God-addled, frog-faced pedophile with the finesse of a hammerhead shark and the political instincts of a Steve Bannon.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Hammerhead shark libelz.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Yeah, I *like* hammerhead sharks!

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I blame left shark

          • puredog

            Well, this is a vile nasty little shark mob, so what did you expect?

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
          • Mehmeisterjr

            YOU MONSTER-GRAM!

          • Mary

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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    • Paul

      He’s lower than whale shit at the bottom of the Marianas Trench.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Filled with buckshot.

  • Crystalclear12

    Your husband is a child molester, it only gets worse from here on out.
    You might want also want to do a wellness check on your female relatives.

    • puredog

      And his. I mean, Abalamma.

  • Butch

    According to No More Mr. Nice Blog, the actual specialty of the “handwriting expert” is the history of flamethrowers; there’s nothing in his background about handwriting.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yup, an actual handwriting expert is a highly-trained professional, not some random guy on the Innertubes.

      I met a real handwriting expert some years back.

      She was very, very smart and managed to expose multiple attempted frauds by criminals who imagined that they could outsmart an actual handwriting expert.

      That said, will this “expert” manage to pass the Fox ‘n’ Friends test? In a Murdoch minute!

  • JMP

    Every time I write my signature, it looks exactly the same rather than looking substantially similar but still with differences!

    • Joe Beese

      I’ll skip this one. There will be another coming along.

    • Ellie

      Too early to talk guns, unless you wanna talk about how all them kids should have been carrying assault rifles to defend theyselves….with silencers.

      • Clark_Nova

        They’re supressors, and my old ears would love it if I had a few.

    • GoutMachine

      Welp, reset the “days without a school shooting” clock to 0.

      • cmd resistor

        We need some pundits to tell us if this counts as a school shooting. Apparently some guy went around town randomly shooting people and the school was only one of the scenes. Maybe it’s a “multi-crime scene shooting.”

        • Shan

          Well, that makes it much less horrifying.

          • cmd resistor

            They do love to have their labels for these things.

    • Zonath

      Shit, I guess it’s too soon to talk about gun control again. I say we pencil in the week of December 4, although with the holiday season being a busy time of the year for mass shootings, please expect that date to be very tentative.

    • puredog

      Only 3? Pffft. Below the fold.

      • cmd resistor

        I have read as many as 5.

        • Shan

          So have I.

        • Kneeling Bozilingus

          Is it fair to include the shooter in the count? /s

          • cmd resistor

            Actually I think he is one of the 5.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Thoughts and prayers and too soon to talk about guns.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Um… unless I don’t read good no more, the entry in that directory does indeed say “Olde”, not “Old” or “Ole.” So Moore’s inscription would have been accurate.

    Am I missing something?

    • Shan

      Downthread.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Ah. I indeed don’t read good. Danke Shan.

        • Shan

          You caught it, though.

  • Ducksworthy

    Kayla, like Pence’s Mother, another good Xian wife doing her job, has learned never to leave Roy alone with young women.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      that’s why you marry them when their fifteen- all that training pays off

      • puredog

        that’s why you marry them when their fifteen – all that training grooming pays off
        There, FTFY.

  • janecita

    Dear Kayla, have some self respect and shut the fuck up!
    Really Kayla, at this point it’s kind of embarrassing that you are still covering up for your philanderer husband, sad:-(

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Kayla, it’s enough to stand by hubby. You don’t need to slag on the women who accuse him of predation. It just makes you both look tacky and extra evil.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        It’s almost as if she is in on it.

        [Next shoe? Dropping?]

    • Mehmeisterjr

      ♫ Stand by your perv,
      Give him child arms to cling to,
      And girls to come, too way young.
      When you are old and twenty.
      Stand by your perv,
      And show the world you serve him
      Keep giving all the love he’d d’serve
      Stand by your perv. ♫

  • Me not sure

    Moore’s wife was born in 1961. If they had been dating in 1979, when he was 32, she would have been 18. He’s very consistent.
    They were married in 1985.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      We don’t need none o’your librul elite mathematics!

      • Me not sure

        Mathmatics, like facts, has a liberal bias.

    • coozledad

      God damn. How in the fuck do they have a conversation?

      • MynameisBlarney

        They’re both idiots?

      • cmd resistor

        How could anyone have a rational conversation with him.

      • Me not sure

        It’s God swill.

    • cmd resistor

      I could have sworn I read yesterday that they married about a year after they met, but I can’t find that now. Because I remember thinking she would have been a bit old for him…..

  • Bill D. Burger
  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…

    Kinda hard to deny any ties to mother roosha when you keep getting tied up with ’em.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/14/world/europe/embassy-moscow-kgb.html?_r=0

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      To make up for the loss of security guards axed in the Russian-mandated staff cuts, Washington has hired a private Russian company that grew out of a security business co-founded by Mr. Putin’s former K.G.B. boss, an 82-year-old veteran spy who spent 25 years planting agents in Western security services and hunting down their operatives.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5cbf0a99320681ab6c9659472c9bf98222e0ff10e99aee66de91c7072ff8c4ba.jpg

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Well, this will save money since they can eliminate the “bribe security guard” line-item from the Russian budget.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        We really are a Russian colony at this point.

  • Joe Beese

    They could have Betamax video of him forcing the girl’s head down and yelling “Suck me! Suck me!” and it wouldn’t make any difference. No one who was prepared to vote for this specimen will believe any Fake News.

    • puredog

      Nobody could play it.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Jeebus to The Holy Moore Family___ Listen up:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOniwPUWsAE7-9y.jpg

    • GoutMachine

      Guess he never read the Old Testament.

    • Anna Rompage

      Says jeebes, the guy who was his own father and that raped Mary, a young teenage virgin (supposeldy) at the time…

      • Bill D. Burger

        Jesus praying: “Dear Heavenly Father, it’s Me, You.”

    • Jesus has never been to the Bible Belt

      • Clark_Nova

        I can actually remember when the Texas ages of consent were 13 for boys and 12 for girls.

        I believe that it’s still around 14 in most of industrialized Europe. Germany, for sure, as well as Russia and the Ukraine and most of Asia.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • FukuiSanYesOta

      “DON’T have a seat”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Desperately needed OT shout out to my neighbors for sending this righteous dude to Congress:

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/930523241789173760

    • GoutMachine

      Why not both?

  • Suttree

    My signature changes all the time. Without booze or my erection changing it.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      You sign your name with your penis?

      Impressive…

      • DAT

        Don’t be silly. That’s not the problem. It just keeps knocking the pen out of his hand.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          So the sword is mightier than the pen, er the penis mightier…

      • Anna Rompage

        I’ve seen many a male exotic dancer pick up dollar bills with nothing more than there scrotum and cock down at the gay bar. It is really quite the spectacle to behold..

        • Lance Thrustwell

          I’d be more impressed if they were holding the bills against their navels with their penis.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I’d be more impressed if they could pick up a Sacagawea dollar that way

        • Suttree

          Ha! Way back in the day I used to go to these places to score. The exchange in the bathroom was cleaner than……….. /ffs

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻
        • The Wanderer

          I saw a dancer at a biker bar in Key West pick a dollar bill up off a guy’s nose with her labia.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Wow, how limber of her.

          • Clark_Nova

            I love Key West.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    gee, I just can’t understand why these women waited so long to come forward…

  • Bill D. Burger
    • marxalot

      Funny, that’s what horrifies me about the college freshmen.

      • LucindathePook

        Happens with doctors and cops, too, eventually.

  • Well, my signature varies by time of day, level of blood alcohol, type of pen, type of paper, and if I fucking care or not about what I am signing….

    You?

    • Jamoche

      If two signatures are absolutely identical, the odds are much higher that one is a forgery – people tend not to be that precise. It’s also why sloppy signatures are better than very neat ones.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Not to mention temperature. You should see mine when I’m trying to write when it’s freezing.
      But it’s cold, baby

    • LucindathePook

      Depends on if the old gout’s kickin’ in.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    OT: I just called both of my NJ Republican reps who are voting for the House tax bill, which would raise taxes on NJ residents and funnel the money to the top 5%.

    Both 202 numbers were terrible connections with me saying “Hello?” and them saying “What?” and me saying “I’m a New Jersey resident” and them hanging up.

    Is this a new, Pee Wee Herman “I can’t hear you” approach to constituent phone calls? Because I have no problem talking to anyone else.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    A true handwriting expert could never get past the “M” sprouting a massive boner, clear evidence of a total perv.

  • Crystalclear12

    I think we should all be grateful there were no smart phones in 1977.
    Otherwise we would be discussing dick pics and I am running low on brain bleach.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I think Amazon’s started stocking the 55-gallon drum. Shipping is free on days with more than three revelations about Republican sexual proclivities.

      • Jennaratrix

        So, every day then. That’s handy.

      • GoutMachine

        That’ll probably sell out faster than a ranch dressing keg.

    • cheetojeebus

      FYI a cheese grater will work in a pinch.

    • coozledad

      There were, however, Xerox machines. (Just more pictures of Roy with his derringer.)

    • Oblios_Cap

      Jeez, if that mall had glass elevators, I guess we all know where Moore would be standing.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Roy at the mall. May not know what Victoria’s Secret is but I know Roy’s…..and now so does the whole country.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOnoYMjWAAA5xf-.jpg

  • ArgieBargie

    Part of me feels bad for Kayla Moore. I mean, she’s married to a pedophile, and probably knows by know her entire holier-than-thou life is a fucking lie.

    On the other hand, “she seems nice.” So fuck her.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m on Team Fuck Her. She had to know he was the way he is. How did he explain being banned from the mall and certain restaurants? “Uh, honey-bunny, Ah cain’t go get you that-there fancy pair’panties y’all was wantin’, ’cause Ah’m not allowed in the mah-ull no more.” “Why the hell not, Roy Moore?” (Hands on hips, pouting expression, big hair not moving at all due to all the spray) “Way-ull, honey, they done noticed me noticin’ all the little gals they done got down they-uh, and they said Ah need to take my big ‘ol porn-dog act somewheres else.”

    • marxalot

      She’s also, ah, how do I say this? They’ve got a significant age difference. I’ll just leave that there.

    • Shan

      I’m conflicted sometimes about women like this. Her life WAS, indeed, built on a lie and it’s not just her husband’s sickness.

      But she’s still doing a hell of a lot better than the 14yo whose life her husband basically ruined.

      So in this instance, I agree with your “fuck her” sentiment.

      • shivaskeeper

        Don’t think of it as a woman’s issue so much as a White Evangelical issue. She knew and, she with malice aforthought, deliberately covered up anything she knew to keep up the Godly appearances.

        She is a willing accomplice.

        • Shan

          I didn’t mean about the accomplice issues, I meant the lie her life is as a Trophy Wife even if her husband never did those things.

          Add the rest you mentioned and I’m not feeling much sympathy for that particular person at all.

          • shivaskeeper

            I see.

      • H0mer0

        whenever they sweep something under the rug because “that could ruin his career” like the Stanford swimmer who lost his olympic berth, I wonder what about the woman he did all those horrible things to? I can’t imagine that life can ever be the same for those women.
        There’s a huge difference between harmless flirting and assault, it’s not that subtle.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        It wouldn’t surprise me if he molested her back when, and ran into her later when he was in the market for a wife.

        • Shan

          *vomit spigot*

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            The reason I say that I know a girl from Alabama, same kind of background and she had a similar situation and was flattered that he “came back to her cause he was so crazy about her.”

    • puredog

      I echo this sentiment.

    • shivaskeeper

      Do you think this is a revelation to her? Not a fucking chance. As the good “Christian” she is, she has to do her best to maintain the appearance of piety at all costs. She will do everything in her power to keep a lid on things. As it always is.

      How would she be able to pull her moral superiority card on the dirty leftists if everyone knew how fucked up her home life really is? How much she knew and ignored? How much she deliberately covered up? Keeping these things covered up and out of sight is a prime directive for the holy rollers in the Bible Belt.

      She knew. Fuck her. Fuck her excuses. Fuck her threats.

      • cmd resistor

        Wait, you mean she’s an enabler like Hillary?

        • shivaskeeper

          No. She is an enabler because her religion demands it to stay in the good graces of her denomination.

          • cmd resistor

            My totally not evidence-based theory is that somewhere along the line someone pulled Roy aside and said if he really wanted to get into politics he might want to cut back on the really young ones and cruising malls and get married and respectable. She was still young but not as young as his usuals. I kind of doubt he just up and stopped right away, though. Total speculation on my part.

          • shivaskeeper

            Could be true. More likely he came up with the plan on his own. To better fit on with the demographic he moves in.

          • puredog

            I for one am glad to see that you are not being irresponsible.

      • ArgieBargie

        It’s probably more of a “God forgives/Only God can judge you” kind of situation.

        Which is of course, total bullshit.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Unless Kayla has a Constitutional right to be the Big-Shot Wife of a US of A Senator under the Two and a Halfth Amendment, I’m guessing that she will never file suit

    She put up with the old goat and now, just as it looks as though it was all worthwhile, the his long history of molestation snatches away the Prize.

    Well, as Vladimir Putin would say, “Tough Shitsky.”

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Well, when I was young and signed my name a few times a month, I carefully wrote out the entire thing. Then I got into a business where I was signing my name about 30 times a week, sometimes a day, and it turned into a loopy scrawl. Does that mean I can, or can’t, be a senator from al-Abama now?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yes, but not for that reason.

      Apparently, you have to be a child-rapist.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “I’m practicing my A’s. Do those look like A’s to you?”

      https://youtu.be/6cDohyRbzeo?t=14m26s

    • Erala Contratista

      Broken arm changes signatures too, also.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Jennaratrix

      Huh, it’s almost like it was never about their daughters, or their wives, or their mothers…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Hypocrisy, thy name is Republicans…

    • laineypc

      I am sorry, I keep getting confused. Half the time I hear “if he did it, it’s fine” and the other half I hear “bitches be lyin'” (implying it’s not fine if he did it) . So which is it?

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Keep your hands off our guns. You can have our daughters. We are tired of them anyway.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Gateway Pundit story reprinting baseless claims from a Twitter account that has now been deleted.

    But the guy was a Navy SEAL with two Bronze Stars, five Purple Hearts, and a heavy Russian accent!

    • GoutMachine

      You forgot the pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars and purple clovers.

      • Resistor Radio

        No that’s Sessions :)

      • puredog

        Is this a post, or a bowl of Lucky Charms?

        • GoutMachine

          No, no, Lucky Charms are General Mills, not Post. ;)

          • puredog

            ba-DUM-tish

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He’s also been working in whatever field we’re currently debating for over twenty years!

  • marxalot

    Everything about this is bullshit the end.

  • GoutMachine

    Handwriting analysis is basically pseudoscience, anyway, and any dolt who’s had more than one passport (as in renewals, not like a common Manafort) can see it evolve over time. Hell, I looked at my Social Security Card, which I signed when I was, like, 10 … jeebus.

    • Suse

      Not really. My law firm won a huge medical malpractice award based solely on handwriting analysis. It is an actual science.

      • Marion in Savannah

        In the hands of a real, certified-like, you know, speshulist. In the hands of Grace Goober? Not so much.

        • Suse

          Yes, of course.

      • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

        When it comes to comparing documents and certifying authenticity, and done correctly, yes; I think when it gets into the “I can tell you’re an introvert who likes mittens” stuff, then it’s a bit horoscope-y.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I had to sign a bunch of papers today, and my signature changed from goddamn page to goddamn page. Cripes.

      • Clark_Nova

        I find that arthritis in my right thumb is continually modifying my signature.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Same here!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Heya’ Roy. Found a Babble’ verse for you to consider very seriously.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOnjNm3XUAAzg0C.jpg

    • OrG

      Not gonna work. He doesn’t believe that shit.

      • marxalot

        None’a these jerks, goons, and bastids ever read the New Testament. Bunch of hippie bleeding heart shit!

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          The greater irony being that the Old Testament is about the Jews and the Talibangelicals really hate the Jews.

        • coozledad

          They don’t believe anything. Don’t have to read their book, don’t have to help anybody or concern themselves with right and wrong. They’re antinomians, and they’re fucking dangerous.

      • Kidneys4Sale

        Yep. Leviticus plus doin thet there Solomon Song at the yunguns is plenty of religion fer one good ol’ boy t’handle.

        (edit: allegedly but def not with votes)

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Shan

      If they do, will the wingnuts smash their TVs?

      • Anna Rompage

        Perhaps that’s the first step to restoring this country’s sanity…

      • Oblios_Cap

        We can only hope.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Win-win!

    • P’jama Pahnts

      There was some cross-talk and I do believe Hannity was referring to the 17 and 18 year olds when he said “consensual”.

      OK, so the two other girls were older in this case. He was apparently, like, 32, and he dated — one girl was 18, one girl was 17. They never said he did — there was no sexual — there was kissing involved, and then they’re saying this one encounter with a 14-year-old —

      MCLAUGHLIN: And it was consensual —

      HANNITY: And consensual, that’s true

      • H0mer0

        still ewww, more than I wanted to picture…

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I said this of Hannity and other RWNJs on another blog’s noncomment section (additionally, that Google should do the right thing and kick conspiracy/hate channels from YouTube), and got yelled at for wanting to “ban” things that “I don’t agree with.” Blah blah frozen peaches, even though I specifically pointed out that Google is a private company which has no obligation to host objectionable material on their servers — but has a moral obligation to clean up their content. Nowhere in there did I say a legal one. Moral. Person obviously only wants the free market to work in their favor.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Put On Your War Paint!

    OT – I was just checking the Mail, and it is 78F outside on November 14th.

    A good reminder that no matter the crimes of the Rs, it will avail them little when habitat is gone and humanity becomes extinct.

    • laineypc

      But it’s ok, because even if a global warming denier is that last person on earth, they will never acknowledge it was humans what done it.

    • Invisible Bunyip

      I wonder if that’s why we’ve never been contacted by aliens: if you gain enough control over your environment to develop space travel, you will inevitably distort things enough that the environment kills you off, so the window between capability and extinction is too small.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        I do think we have the answer to the Fermi Paradox now. Hi-tech is maladaptive for longevity of the Biosphere.

  • P’jama Pahnts
    • Jennaratrix

      I should not have laughed at this. I did, but I shouldn’t have.

      • Lynn A Myers

        Ha! Me too so I had to share it with friends and family.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Lower case “e” wasn’t even invented until 1982. Fake News!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Aileen

    My immediate reaction to this sort of poorly-sourced fake-news reaction to any legitimate accusation is anger, because I know it muddies the waters just enough for low-information, gullible voters to throw their hands up and say, “Who knows who is telling the truth! Both Sides!” But, in this particular instance, it could work out for Team Not-a-Pedophile (aka Doug Jones for Senate). Plenty of voters are going to stick with Moore because they are awful, some of them will write in Luther Strange, some of them won’t vote. Hopefully, it will be enough confusion for Jones to make it to the Senate.

    • cmd resistor

      That’s kind of where I am on this.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • puredog

      “Making Adolescent Groping Acceptable.”

      • marxalot

        No, that implies that it’s the adolescents whose groping will be acceptable, and we can’t have teens doing groping stuff! That’s a slippery slope to sexting, and from there to dancing and voting for Democrats. Hell, make the little punks sex offenders, that’ll show ’em!

        • puredog

          “Making Adolescent-Groping Acceptable.”
          There, FTFM.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • arglebargle

    If the worst thing that can happen for Republicans is for Moore to be elected, why don’t the Democrats just concede the election? Prolly shoulda posted this on 5$M’s post.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Because the worst thing for Republicans isn’t the same thing as the worst thing for America?

      • arglebargle

        true dat

  • Incoming Ham

    Moore is a guy who reads this in his bibbel and thinks it’s a permission slip: …I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them.

    • Michael Smith

      And that was the dude that God spared.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Man the others must have really sucked.

    • Resistor Radio

      I’m a heathen who doesn’t know my bible, that shit’s really in there?

      • Marion in Savannah

        Yep.

        • Resistor Radio

          Gross.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Lot’s lot in Sodom and Gomorrah. He ended up getting those virgin daughters of his pregnant all by himself.

        • Resistor Radio

          Family values, eh?

          • P’jama Pahnts

            It’s was actually their idea. The daughters got him drunk and double-teamed him because there were no hot dudes around. It’s the bible great?!
            >>edit<< yeah like Micheal Smith says below (shoulda read down first)

        • Clark_Nova

          What, exactly, did they practice in Gomorrah? Why don’t we know anything about Gomorrahmy today?

      • Michael Smith

        From my recollection, its a crazy story and its right at the beginning, in Genesis. Lot is the only good person living in Sodom, or whatever, and this is illustrated by the fact that God sends an angel or something to see him at his house. The neighbors come banging on the door demanding to see this stranger they saw enter his house, and it is implied that they want to rape him. So he offers them his daughters rather than let them rape God’s servant, which was apparently the correct thing to do.

        However, these neighbors were so horned up for this stranger that they wouldn’t take his daughters. Later, after the city is destroyed, the two daughters get their revenge on Lot. They are sad that they won’t find husbands now that the city is burned to the ground, so they get their dad drunk and trick him into impregnating them! Take that dad!

        • Resistor Radio

          Wow, no wonder all the weird perverts are evangelicals.

          • GoutMachine

            Not only that, but this is one of the big stories they cite to persecute gay people. Thus kind of missing the forest for the trees.

        • H0mer0

          I hate it when my neighbors do that!

      • Paul

        Uh-huh. It’s why you shouldn’t know a fucking thing about that silly book.

        Lots of other reasons too. Genesis contradicts itself TWICE by page 2 FFS. That’s all you need to know. Incontrovertible word of god my everlovin’ ass

      • Incoming Ham

        That and worse.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Lot first tries to pimp out his “virgin” daughters on the flimsy pretext of saving the angels from being sodomized (at least that is how it is spun.)
        Later in the piece he decides to fuck them himself after (I think he killed the mom.) Bible gives some bullshit excuse about the daughters getting him drunk and raping him, yeah right all virgins want to rape some icky old man.
        edit: sorry I never remember to read down.

        • Clark_Nova

          Angels had assholes? Or did Sodom’s specialty extend to skullf**ing?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Good point, they aren’t supposed to be anatomically correct in that regard, at least Metatron was not in the movie Dogma.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I was thinking of that bibble story just the other day. Exactly.

      • puredog

        On another thread, someone noted that Moore “always asked permission of the girls’ mothers,” and speculated (it would have been irresponsible not to) that Moore never had to ask any father’s permission (that would have gone well) because he specifically targeted girls with single mothers. The Corfman story would be a prime example of that. This struck me as extremely likely. Has anybody done the math?

        • Courser_Resistance

          I read the same thing somewhere and it made my stomach twist. Rachel made the connection briefly last night as well. Single moms. He was the DA. Do you think they’d deny him anything?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            They couldn’t really.

        • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

          This should be an easy fact to verify from all the women who were victimized, er dated by Judge Creep.

        • laineypc

          He asked permission of the 14 year old’s mother and she affirmed that it was ok with her?

          • puredog

            I’m sorry, that was sloppy of me. Corfman’s mom was in court for a child custody hearing, and Our Boy Roy offered to watch after her child so that said child wouldn’t have to hear all the nasty court proceedings. But it *was* a case of him dealing with a single mother. No indication that he asked for permission to “date” her 14 y/o daughter.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      And then God turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salted rat dicks.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Good book, my ass.

  • nightmoth

    I looked her up. She looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b9e47a67a2bec9c7a75732b347f34ab0e9541c91de67b087fb2626ced41d919d.jpg
    Also, she’s predictable, based on prior offenses against intelligence and/or sanity.
    • In 2015, she called former President Barack Obama a Muslim and said, “Obama the Muslim, His Own Words.”
    • In 2016 she wrote an op-ed for Alabama Local News’ website, in which she praised then-Texas Senator Ted Cruz for the U.S. presidency.
    • In 2016, she protested the nomination of U.S. Air Force’s Col. Kristin Goodwin to the Air Force Academy’s Commandant for cadets as she was lesbian.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Does anyone else see a family resemblance?

      • laughingnome

        Yes

        • H0mer0

          (now that he mentions it)

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      So outside reflects inside?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Courser_Resistance

    It’s a less than stellar day when I confused the old white guys under the spotlight today. Ugh!

  • Michael Smith

    Everyone knows the 70’s never happened.

    • Resistor Radio

      The seventies were invented by Hollywood and the liberal media.

      • laughingnome

        I came of age then. Looking back, they were a pretty good time, after the war. It all came crashing down when Reagan got elected. The country was just coming to terms with some serious issues but chose a fantasy instead. A real crossroads.

        • Michael Smith

          I wasn’t around yet for that period, and I didn’t realize that basically what you say is what happened until I read The Invisible Bridge, about the 1976 Republican primary. Once Nixon was out, the Congress was chugging along with its investigations and was uncovering all sorts of crap. Assassinations, sabotage, corruption, etc., and the people leading the way in Congress thought this muckraking was the way of the future.

          But people started getting sick of it. They started to be receptive when Reagan argued that uncovering illegal CIA operations only puts American security at risk. They started to like Reagan’s description of America as the world’s last best hope for democracy, as if the last two decades hadn’t happened, rather than the real but unpleasant picture that the news was showing them every night.

          So eventually they kicked the realists out of office and traded possible redemption for a comfortable lie.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Deja-vu.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I fucking wish.

      • MynameisBlarney

        So my childhood….was a lie?

        My emergency appendectomy never happened?

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Tyrell’s nephew had the appendectomy, MNIB.

    • Paul

      Well…..I don’t remember them at all.

      • bbayliss

        I have a couple vague recollections of a fellini movie time, before I got better.

        • puredog

          The era after the Pill and the sexual revolution, but before AIDS and herpes? It seemed nice.

        • H0mer0
          • bbayliss

            I spent a lot of time in trees, but my recollections are more colorful, like satyricon.

          • H0mer0

            one of my sons is reading that. I just happen to remember the scene with Zio in the tree and the mini-nun yelling at him to get down from there (I’m channeling mini-nun when I get old enough to be a caricature.)

    • sarafina

      But they had the best music!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Clark_Nova

        Only if you can’t remember the ’60’s.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Jim Hoft is gay. What the hell is he doing spewing bullshit in defense of a guy who thinks he ought to be put to death? I guess that’s why they call him THE STUPIDEST MAN ON THE INTERNET.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      He clearly despises himself. Just, sadly, for all the wrong reasons.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’d despise him no matter what his sexuality

        • Carpe Vagenda

          It seems to be the only honest thing about him, and the only thing about himself he’s spent his life running away from.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Why are Log Cabin Republicans a thing at all? Or Milo whatsisname, Peter Thiel, Caitlyn Jenner, (probably) Ezra Levant and that guy running for premier of Alberta — why do they support a party that hates them with a searing passion? Personally, I think it’s an elaborate method of suicide. They’re either too chickenshit or in denial to do it themselves, so they figure they’ll support the Nazis and take everyone else with them to the gas chambers. Same with Blacks for Trump and the Stepford wives of the GOP. Kapos make me sick.

      • shivaskeeper

        For the money. They get paid for being the tokens that can get trotted out to prove there is no animosity towards whatever group they happen to be a part of.

        They will make enough by being that token that they can run when the policies, rules, and laws they helped out in place are about to come down on themselves.

      • ImGoingBacon

        This is my take. Thiel and Jenner were supporters of one or two things on his agenda, and ignored the obvious warning signs, because small government, and less taxes.
        I’m still pissed at Cait Jenner getting upset with Trump about his tweets regarding trans troops. People’s undying passion to see one or two things come true, while denying the rest of the policy issues, is astounding.

      • Tovarish Z

        The money and tax cuts. It is more important to them than anything.

      • grindstone

        I believe the reasoning is: We have ours. Fuck you.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          And I never dreamed the leopards would eat MY face!

      • Cornelius Fussbudget

        The same reasons anyone else is a Republican. The party is a Frankenstein monster of glued together pieces of rotten flesh, each driven by a unique kind of hatred. So say you really really hate someone or something that aligns with one of those festering chunks; maybe immigrants is your thing. So you hold your nose and ignore the pro-gun, anti-gay, forced birth, etc. etc. parts of the party.

        Being gay does not make a person immune to hatred. It does seem like it might inoculate you since you have to deal with it yourself. But, the hate might be a deeper part of your personality than the gay.

        Or, say in Caitlyn’s case, she has enough money and fame she probably has nothing to really fear, herself. Sure she gets nasty emails, but she will never worry about finding a job, affording heath care, etc.

    • Andrew Rheinheimer

      You forgot all those Gays for Trump groups that have basically disappeared after old Butterbeans took over.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Like, they couldn’t have figured things out after conversion therapy fan Pence was announced as his running mate.

    • puredog

      That does seem rather like airtight proof.

    • Sadly, being gay doesn’t absolve you from society’s massive misogyny, not to mention racism, nationalism, and other forms of bigotry. Exhibit A: Ernst Röhm. Exhibit B: Roy Cohn

      There are always members of any minority who will shit on other minorities, even their own minority, to get a few crumbs from the master’s table. Exhibit ZZZ: Ben Carson

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Just FYI, the Homintern has not acted on Hoft’s application to be an official homosexual and, if I have anything to say about it, they never will. We have some standards.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “Hillary Clinton was alive in 1977. Did she have a hand in this? Did she send emails about it? Was she sending them from a private server?” — Chris Cilizza

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      When will she denounce the forger?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        clouds and shadows

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Blogs we read indicate there are concerns with both Hillary and Roy Moore.

    • Painter of Goats

      Back then her private server was named Wendy. She had every other Friday off.

    • Arolpin

      She was in Arkansas at the time. It’s only 1 state away, via TWO DIFFERENT ROUTES. She obviously snuck out of Little Rock, drove to Alabama, convinced the girls to lie about their age, then forced Roy Moore to hit on them. It’s obvious, sheeple!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Given that she’s a secret lesbopotamus, she prolly seduced those girls to lie about ‘Ol Roy

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I thought she was supposed to be a lesbyterian? And she could have hit on me back then for sure.

    • SeeTrain65

      And the New York Times picks up the story from there …

  • NotALiar

    Lol wouldn’t it be funny if it turned out that the gateway pundit had been right this whole time. About everything. All of it. Even the fake shit he just makes up off of the top of his head. He turns out to be the single greatest journalist of all time. Thank God the opposite of everything I said is true.

    • Suttree

      Don’t take the brown acid!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    OT but the ratfuckers in the congress are adding a repeal of Obamacare to the ratfucking tax repeal.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Rand’s got his. Fuck you.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I fucking hate Ayn Rand Libertarians.

      • sarafina

        Personal injury lawyer? I saw that.

    • Anna Rompage

      That’s because they realize their tax plan is a shit heap, so they’re adding a poison pill to kill it, and then will blame dems when it doesn’t pass…

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        That thought did cross my mind, and I hope it’s right.

      • sarafina

        Dems weren’t going to vote for that tax plan anyway.

    • Zonath

      Two great failures that fail great together!

    • SeeTrain65

      They’re so desperate to pass anything, but can’t stop doing that same shit that ensured all their other bills were defeated.

      Dear Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell: The Congressional Dispensary is underfunded, so they don’t have enough bandages for all those bullet holes in your feet.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…
    She kinda looks like a young Tom Araya in this pic.

    https://i.imgur.com/YVqI1pp.jpg

    • Suse

      Camo and pearls – new fashion trend for 2018.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Not gon’ lie, I may have some camo and pearls, but I definitely do it better.

        • Suse

          I’m sure you do! I wear pearls with jeans, sweaters, and boots with an army jacket (non-camo) and I’m an old.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Meh. Don’t like either.

      • H0mer0

        I did scrubs and pearls back in 1991.

        • Sophie McMillan

          My ob in the UK delivered our daughter wearing a little black dress and pearls under her scrubs. She had come straight from a cocktail party a nd didn’t have time to change

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I oughta . . .well, maybe a little.

      • MynameisBlarney

        See!?!

        It AIN’T just me!

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Araya’s probably a better Christian, though.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Most likely.
            Damn sure a better human.
            I watched an interview with him a while back on youtube.
            Listening to him talk about things made him sound more hippy than death metal.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Yeah. It’s kind of comical.

    • Elvis Causticfellow
    • William

      Wow Ted Nugent has really let himself go.

    • SeeTrain65

      SLAYER LIBELZ!

      Sorry, that just slipped out. Couldn’t control it.

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s ok, we all get the LIBELZ Tourettes from time to time.

  • Oblios_Cap

    #PAYTHEFUCKUPHOFT

    • Suttree

      #takeyourwaterboardingHannity!

  • Anna Rompage

    Come on folks, take a deeper look in the bible, a book that tell a rapist to pay his victim’s father 50 shekels of silver, and to take her hand in marriage…

    • Suttree

      Unfortunately bigamy is illeagle. Don’t tell the Mormons.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Forget it, Jake, it’s Alabama.
    As creepy as possible.

    • Clark_Nova

      Every time that I’ve driven through the South I could tell within a few miles that I had entered Alabama. The people became noticeably uglier and fatter and frankly, more inbred-looking. Everyone. Not just the White Crackers but the A-M’s, too. It’s a terrible place, even compared to its neighbor Mississippi.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    I’ve never been so happy to be back at my desk typing.

    Woulda been a good lecture, exceptthepersongivingthelectureinstistedontalkingsuperduperfastandsinceshe
    wasteachingimmigrationlawtopeoplewithlittleornoimmigrationlawexperiencethat
    seemedlikeareallyreallybadidea.

  • ThatGuy

    Roy Moore: Not good enough for the Supreme Court. Not good enough for the Food Court.

  • I get a spouse not wanting to believe the worst about their partner. Especially if the worst involved touching kids. Because then you have to start wondering about your own kids. You have to start questioning your ability to judge their character. You wonder about whether or not you deliberately overlooked things.

    But if you have to resort to the Gateway Pundit… sweetie, just file the divorce papers now and get yourself a good therapist and invite your kids along for the sessions.

    • Anna Rompage

      It appears she was just a kid when her and Roy hooked up, oh, and he was in his 30s….

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      She can’t. The fundegelicals would banish her.

    • Suttree

      And go straight to the IRS to explain all of that money y’all were not paying taxes on.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      And make sure you clean out the bank account… and the grifty Jesus-y non-profit, too.

  • Ye Olde Hickory House

    Sounds fancy!
    https://i.imgflip.com/1zdpyg.jpg

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Please click here to buy Dok some aspirin. Or booze.”

    Poor Dok!

    *gets a basket and rifles through a cabinet, selecting a number of bottles*

    Aspirin…echinacea…ephedrine…cactus extract…

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Aw, I read too fast and thought you were going to send a basket of rifles.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Oh, if I did that, Dok would think i don’t like him!

      • puredog

        You rype too fast also too

    • Suttree

      You can send that along with a bottle. Or two.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      cactus extract

      I’ll pitch in for some peyote

    • Lance Thrustwell

      uppers, downers, screamers, laughers…

    • Wonky Magoo

      This reminds me of the time I worked at a health food store. I had cut my finger trimming produce and needed a band-aid, so I looked in the first aid kit, which had no band-aids. It had used homeopathic eye drops, some kind of homemade herb salve, and expired vitamins, but no band-aids. I threw out everything that was dirty, expired, or imaginary and replaced it with actual first aid supplies, and some of my co-workers got really mad about it and stopped inviting me to things.

      • Erala Contratista

        Lucky you!

      • Invisible Bunyip

        You threw out the vitamins? What if someone came down with sudden-onset acute beriberi?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Today I toured the town where I went to HS many decades ago. There are businesses here now with different names that weren’t there back in the day, even though the buildings were in the same spots! Therefore, it follows that Hillary sold uranium to terrorists and Roy Moore never touched young girls. Use your head, sheeple!

    • laughingnome

      Your Honor, I rest my case. And I noticed there’s a pretty little filly waiting for her momma outside that needs my attention.

      • cmd resistor

        That detail about picking that 14 year old up at the courthouse convinced me right off. That was super creepy.

  • Jgb979

    Jerry Sandusky’s wife refused to believe her husband was a child rapist too.

    Doesn’t make him any less of a child rapist.

    (Or you less likely to know of hundreds more bodies you’re trying to keep hidden)

    • laughingnome

      I’d wager there’s more revelations to come on Roy Moore. He was at it for too long and thought he was above the law.

      • puredog

        Imma not takin’ that bet.

      • coozledad

        More, and worse. That messianic bullshit comes from a dark, murderous place.

      • cmd resistor

        Totally agree. And sadly, some of the revelations will be worse.

      • theCryptofishist

        Yeah, I’m thinking he was unable to turn off that spigot.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Lots of people still can’t believe that nice sweater-wearing wholesome black TV family man was a rapist. Denial is a hell of a river.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Do they really not believe that? Or are they all just unwilling to believe these hussies who are saying bad things about somebody on “Their Team”.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Denial ain’t just a creek in Alabama.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Well this was inevitable. I’m only surprised it took so long: https://twitter.com/allahpundit/status/930527516057534464

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      then he realized he was in the wrong party, because dems would never vote for a child molester

      • Pisto75666

        ^This!

      • YoBunnyBunny

        You know… standards of decency and shit…

      • ariel_gee_398

        And because Dems didn’t want to openly support institutionalized racism anymore.

        • Zonath

          This. I’m thinking he was just too lazy to switch his registration after the Klan switched their support on account of the Civil Rights Act.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh, well that explains everything.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And she ran away when he tried to get in her southern strategy.

    • puredog

      “AND THAT WAS WHY!”
      Jeebus.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    What your husband is alleged to have done is indefensible, and you know it. Your efforts to stand up for him against the allegations does not speak well of your character, so I’d suggest you stop this nonsense and encourage him to tell the truth.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Especially since these events took place before they were married. Granted there’s a high probability that he did not stop teen-chasing when he married her (and she was well aware of it), she still could “plausibly” deny that she knew anything about them and quietly go back to grifting whatever psuedo-religious nonprofit she’s grifting.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        THIS^^^

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That or she actually, deeply, digs it, and her lies are just supporting something that she really approves of and makes her hot.

      I know that sounds weird, but I maintain it’s a possibility.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        Perish the thought.

        • Mark Schmidt

          Weird? In Alabama? How can that BE!!!

    • Boojum

      She is also 20 years younger than he is.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    Also, the name of the restaurant is not “Olde” Hickory House, so whoever added the location and exact date was clearly a lazy forger! Or maybe Roy Moore misspelled it in 1977, which seems more likely than a forger’s carefully invented evidence falling apart because they neglected to make up the right location?

    Um….Dok? If you look at the Gadsen city directory in that tweet up there, you’ll see it actually WAS “Olde”. The GA place didn’t use the fancy-schmancy British spelling.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Coupla mentions of this downthread. One of them was me ‘cuz I didn’t read down either.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        I thought there might be, but threads is long….and Tanks is lazy.

        • theCryptofishist

          Some of Tanks’ readers, also, too. And with Disqust’s random anti-wonking, duplicative information can be informative an hour or two later.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      6%. That sounds about right.

    • Tragic Typos

      They still have a few Senators up on their site as endorsers — but I think they have all been retracted at this point.

    • Daniel

      And a cockerel crowed before each request was received.

    • GoutMachine

      Better headline: “47 pastors are sticking with a pedophile.”

      • Roadstergal

        DING DING DING.

      • cmd resistor

        Actually, from some of the stories, reporters trying to contact the pastors on the list aren’t having all that easy of a time. Bad contact info for some. I don’t recall yet reading about any contacted saying, hell, yeah, I’m still with Roy! Not that there haven’t been….

  • Mavenmaven

    OT: given the frequency of assault rifle related mass shootings, like today’s, it is always too soon to talk about gun control rules somewhere.

    • GoutMachine

      This is like the sun never setting on the British Empire.

    • William

      Lets review. If the shooter is brown we must talk about sealing the borders right now. If the shooter is white we can’t talk about gun control because it’s too soon and insensitive. You’re welcome. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9cc142fc7f3b9ab4e3df0f355e3be2c855dee9ea8eb4ad9783c59be31b8ff069.png

    • cmd resistor

      So far, all that is allowed is the basic thoughts and prayers, with a few platitudes about mental health thrown in.

    • Clark_Nova

      No one has ever used a real assault rifle in a mass shooting in the US. You’re thinking of semi-auto carbines, which are NOT the same thing.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • laughingnome

      Rush was a Republican when he diddled (allegedly) Dominican cabana boys.

      • Mark Schmidt

        Yeah, but he was out of his gourd on drugs when he did that, so that makes it OK…

        • theCryptofishist

          Well, pending pouring his heart and life out to Jeezusl

      • LesBontemps

        I think the cabana boys are provably Dominican.

    • William

      So the drug soaked draft dodger just supported the notion the Roy Moore is a Pedo.

    • Shan

      Because suddenly he’s stopped being inappropriately attracted to teenage girls?

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      Heh. They are so fucking predictable.

    • ryp

      Back when Southern conservatives were all Democrats they were racist pedophiles, but then they all repented and became Republicans, because that’s what the Southern realignment was all about. Now the Democratic party in the South is the party of black people, who are now the real racists, because it’s the party not the people in it. All those monuments to white supremacy Southerners erected when they were Democrats? Now they are monuments to a shared history, because how could Republicans be in favor of White supremacy? They’re party of Fredrick Douglas and Martin Luther King after all, who would have voted for Roy Moore if they were alive today, of course.

  • William
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      He had a woody.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        *String pull*
        “Reach for this guy”
        *Gestures at his lil pistol poking out of his tightie whities*

      • Anna Rompage

        To infinity and beyond!

      • H0mer0

        Tom Hanks Libelz!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      To the statute of limitations and beyond!

  • Andrew Rheinheimer

    OT: So our Senator, Rob Portman, claimed the average Ohio family could save $2,375 on the tax plan; funny thing is, I checked the math.

    The average Ohio family doesn’t make $250,000 a year to get those tax savings. I’m bottom bracket; I’d get maybe $79.

    I called him on his BS. We need no liars, asshole.

    • SeeTrain65

      I think he averaged two families, a wealthy family who’d get $5,000 back, and a poor family who’d have to pay $250 more.

      $5,000 – $250 = $4,750 / 2 = $2,375.

      He’s a habitual liar. But he not fooling anyone.

      • jodyleek

        There are way more poor families than wealthy families so averaging one of each is a load of hog shit. But, most people are too dumb to even know how to figure an average so, I’ll return to my usual drinking.

  • Blackest Noobs

    so so much shit, too few toilets to flush it all away.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom

    The more I see and read about this world class asshole, the more I believe he and ‘Sheriff Joe’ are long lost brothers.

    • Suttree

      I would not object to a two man chain gang.

      • Zonath

        Chain gang? Hell no. We’ll just stitch their dicks together (with votes).

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    Obviously a forgery.

    I am talking about Kayla Moore’s “Christianity.” Not the yearbook signatures.

  • Pisto75666

    Hey “Doug”, Twitter is temporary. screenshots OTOH are forever.

  • Cogswell – Overlord of Barsoom
  • William
  • Fitzgerald Chesterfield

    I wonder if it was a lifetime ban and if the mall still exists

    • cmd resistor

      Now it’s called The Olde Mall.

    • Ricky Gay

      Malls didn’t exist back then! Q.E.D.!!!

  • As Kayla’s dry cleaner, I need to point out that she can’t keep track of her receipts but, between the hyperventilating and the drooling, she’s putting my kids through school. Princeton, if I can brag…

  • Boojum

    I wish they would use time travel more productively.

  • Anna Rompage

    It sounds like Kaya is in a little denial that her sweet, innocent, godly man Roy, would have ever tried to have a pervy, sexual assaulty relationship with anyone other than herself…

  • FZsdaughter

    “Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses…”

  • jenny_whyme

    I wonder if Kayla and Moore have a prenup.. what’s in their joint bank account?

    She could seriously take him to the cleaners.

    • Jon Sussex

      But not a restaurant.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Or the mall.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Think of the children!

    Except for this guy. Please tell him to stop thinking of the children.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Hmmmm…people trying to be clever but actually making stupid mistakes…that sounds more like Republicans than Democrats.

  • Bebecca

    I’d love to know if Mrs. Roy Moore (he probably calls her mother too) is surprised by all of this or if she has known all along he had a problem but breathed a sigh of relief that it hasn’t come out to the masses in his previous elections.

    • SeeTrain65

      And can’t believe she doesn’t know.

      And I also can’t believe he’d call her “Mother.” Too old for him.

    • Marsupial99

      She knew. She must have. The fact that she is screaming “LIES!!!” without the slightest hesitation is a tell. If she had no clue, she would be be very confused right now.

      Or, she didn’t know and doesn’t care.

      Either way makes her an evil person.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Referring to your husband as is the first sign of a healthy marriage

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      He probably insists on it.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Christ

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          You know in a sub kind of relationship.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      “Hey! Title Lastname – if you’re in the kitchen, can you get me a beer?”

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    Understandable mistakes. See, these people trying to defend him are Conservatives, and they don’t really recognize any changes in the world since about 1860.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    This is less than surprising, because the only alternative is a Vegas divorce.

    • Jon Sussex

      Or a reality show – I Married a Kiddie Toucher.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Duggar libelz

  • Mark Schmidt

    Shit…have to run out to buy a bottle of Jim Beam…See ya!

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    All of this, you motherfuckers. THIS IS THE ROCK-SOLID EVIDENCE OF WHY SHIT LIKE THIS DOESN’T COME OUT FOR 40 YEARS.

  • Gummitch

    You know, the phone book listing does use “Olde” rather than “Old”.

    • javadavis

      Yup – who owes who a coke?

  • Sheepshagger
    • Jon Sussex
      • Sophie McMillan

        Saw Gogol at Bumbershoot 2004. Start Wearing Purple was their new hit and the kiddies danced their little tootsies off.

    • jodyleek

      “That freak can roll, man!”
      “Yeah, but he’s a pederast, dude.”
      “What’s a pederast, Walter?”

  • javadavis

    The picture of the directory from 77 (or 78? Yes, we’ll go with that) spells it “Olde Hickory House” so I guess the claim of misspelling is – um, wrong, in error, other word meaning wrong – a lie, perhaps?

    • theCryptofishist

      I think I’ve eaten at places where the marquee and the name at the top of the ticket were off by a word or a spelling.
      However, since I don’t remember what, and certainly can’t prove it, I guess I am obliged to move the Alabama and vote for Moore.

      • javadavis

        What? Why? Is it because he did so spell the business name correctly?

  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    Looks like the Moore campaign is running out of straws to grasp.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/Ed4q7DrmcQSY0/giphy.gif

    • phoenix00

      The GOP And Their Stupid Sycophants 2017.

  • Flashman

    My fondest wish is that Moore sues. I would pay good money to take his deposition.

    • puredog

      He may sue, and probably should sue. After the election — and probably before any serious discovery, certainly before any depositions — he will dismiss, whatever the outcome.

  • Jenny

    His wife is the same age as the recently acknowledged victim and went to school with her.

    Unlike the victim in this case, future wife met him at 24 and already had a baby and a divorce.

    If I was a terrible person (hint I am), I’d say someone was looking for an older man to take care of her and accept her as damaged goods. I’m sure her family and church really was so pleased to have her married off to a good successful man. Mmmhmmm /judged

    • puredog

      Someone noted elsewhere that Mrs. Sessions is from Gadsden and of like age with. . .either Roy or his spouse. And so might reasonably be suspected to have some knowledge of this stuff.

      • Gorillionaire

        I suspected, as many others surely did, back at the beginning of the Alabama primary that some of Roy’s homies in DC must have known some slimy shit about him and endorsed Strange right away.

    • Natalie Frenshen

      I like you.

  • Flashman

    Can’t spell “handwriting analyst” without anal.

  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    So I wonder what ever happened with that whole “Thou shalt not bear false witness” thing? Guess it doesn’t matter when you’re a Republican.

    • Indeniable Ron

      It’s only ‘false witness’ if a Democrat says it.

  • unionthuggery

    I’d gladly share my aspirin and booze, both of which I have in good stock. For the life of a steward is one that almost daily requires a hefty dose of both.

  • Kayla apparently met Roy when she was 23 and he was 37, though he says he “noticed” her “years” earlier.

    I guess if one of those other girls and young women had accepted his advances instead of rebuffing or avoiding the creepy older guy, she could have had the thirty-plus years of “good Christian marriage” Kayla has “enjoyed”.

    • pixiedust8

      Kayla probably had the strongest case of daddy issues in Gadsen. Jackpot!

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      How much time did he spend grooming her for it, I wonder?

  • Christopher Hood

    The city directory pic shows ‘Olde’ Hickory House. Reasonable to conclude that the Moore writing isn’t even wrong – and, yes, being wrong wouldn’t even suggest forgery anyway.

  • ChumpsForTrump

    The sick part is, this kind of obvious bullshit will do perfectly fine with its target audience.

    They don’t actually have to believe that the accusations are false – they just need enough deniability to believe their own lies, to themselves, about how much they believe it.

    • This. It is their get out of jail trick so they can claim they just didn’t know

    • mardam422

      It’s not a lie, if you believe it.
      G. Costanza

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I have always maintained that the year book stuff is a forgery. How could he sign with both hands on her butt?

    /s

  • Manhattan123

    Listen, Uncle Roy was her favorite babysitter and let her stay up late to watch Nick at Nite. Of course she’s going to defend him now.

  • ken_kukec

    “We can’t say we agree 100% with Mr. Baker’s police work, there.”

    He’s never gonna find the tan Sierra like that.

    Hey, didja hear the one about the guy who couldn’t afford personalized plates, so he changed his name to “JCI2404”?

    • Daniel

      it’s “Cierra.” Hang your head in shame.

      • ken_kukec

        I’m not arguing here; I’m cooperating … but, heck, if you wanna play games here, I’ll do a lot count right now!

  • anon_the_great

    Poor Wingnuts. Tap dancing around a child rapist must be exhausting

    • Indeniable Ron

      And they have to do it so often.

  • bubbuhh

    Shep Smith better dig out the old bullet proof vest. Fox viewers will definitely be triggered to seek second amendment solutions by his expose of Fox’s phony Uranium One reporting.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=47&v=f8wuFDs7xSA

  • h4rr4r

    Restaurants weren’t invented until 1983! Cursive was only invented in 1985! And children did not exist before 1978! Fake News!

  • ken_kukec

    Obvious forgery. The word “Olde” is not preceded by “Ye,” as is de rigueur for such names.

    • TundraGrifter

      How far is the Olde Log Inne?

    • Clark_Nova

      Actually, “Ye” was originally spelled “Þe”, using the letter “Thorn”, which was the letter most recently dropped from modern English”. It was pronounced “The”, not “Ye”.

  • In the small town where I live the Fire Dept was having a problem with sexual harassment. The dept. was sued by one woman who claimed a particular individual had used his position of power to get her to have sex with him. He is a “good Christian” man married to a “good Christian” wife who will never ever believe her husband banged every desperate female within the dept. It’s a psychological defense mechanism.

  • Ricky Gay

    Check the kerning…on his penis!!!!1!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Warped, and small.

    • mardam422

      Beat me to it. Not his penis, the kerning.

      • Ricky Gay

        I would never beat you to his penis. Eww!

    • natoslug

      Do we have any trained foreskin experts on staff?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The desperation of these maggots to explain away Moore’s perversions would be entertaining, if they were not viciously attacking the women who came forward. And then these same assholes have the nerve to ask why women don’t report this stuff.

  • TundraGrifter

    Kayla Moore is paid by the family “foundation” and that’s cool. But if anybody else is ever paid for anything – that’s bad.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      She’s got a lot to loose and a huge grifter paycheck.

  • mardam422

    The kerning!!! The proof is in the kerning!!!!1111

  • TundraGrifter

    It does kind of make sense that “Judge” Moore was a Democrat back when he was sexually harassing women, because the Republicans seem more inclined for the man on man or man on boy stuff.

  • Jane Dominowski

    I’d bet Beverly added the restaurant name and signature date after he signed it. I’d bet I did that with folks who signed my yearbook that I wanted to make sure I remembered where they were from.

    • JD Mulvey

      If I had a signature in my HS yearbook from a pervy 32-year-old lawyer, I’d remember.

  • JD Mulvey

    There’s a diner in Alabama called “The Poor House”? So people can dine while basking in the ambiance of desperate poverty? The South is a strange place.

    • Lambsendbeds

      There’s a restaurant chain in Kentucky called Po’ Folks. It’s kind of a hillbilly themed place, where you drink sweet tea out of mason jars, the prices are dirt cheap, and the chicken fried steak is really worth the calories.

      • MsEdgyNation

        They used to be in N Florida, too.

    • r m reddicks

      I certainly have no problem with an oyster po’ boy when visiting NOLA.

    • Clark_Nova

      Stranger than you know. In the ’60’s, in some southern bars, they would settle bar bills by standing face to face and blowing up bullfrogs like balloons. The one to pop their frog in the other’s face first drank free. At Ft Gordon, they used to refer to the locals as “frogpoppers”.

  • CountryClubJihadi

    Kayla is an excellent wife. I’m sure she’ll be getting extra little plaid pleated skirts for XMAS and some new ponytail holders.

  • Indeniable Ron

    Jim, honey? Watching three seasons of CSI: Miami does NOT make someone a ‘forensics expert,’ however much you may wish it so.

  • Oliver Due

    I do love wonkette but certain types of internet bullshit (such as everything discussed and rebutted in this post) is so dumb that it’s not remotely worth writing about.

  • Next election the Republicans will have to make sure all their voters are registered….sex offenders.

    • PabloDali

      Nice !!

      • Thanks PD!!😄

        • PabloDali

          Wish I could join your many debates on Religion and Global Religions, but the gutless censor cowards who run those channels have banned me.

    • phoenix00

      Seems to be a minimum system requirement these days.

  • Ruth Serafini

    Anyone seen the TV show “Leverage”? In one of their early episodes (“The Bank Shot Job”) the villain was a “Judge Roy” with an inappropriate interest in young women…. I feel like they sort of called it.

    • LA Julian

      Just to note that Leverage’s creator is the same John Rogers aka Kung Fu Monkey who noted the infamous 27% crazification factor aka ‘Keyes Constant’ back in 2005, when the Republicans were running a batshit godbotherer against a young senator from Illinois, apparently thinking that race is a fungible quality & sufficient to win liberal voters…

      http://kfmonkey.blogspot.com/2005/10/lunch-discussions-145-crazification.html

  • Portia McGonagal

    Were too phone cords long enough because THIS teen girl took the phone into her bedroom from the family room to talk to her friends about boys in secret. OUR AGE boys.

    • bluicebank

      You had to buy them special, but yeah, you could get 25 feet of coiled phone cord.

      • LA Julian

        You could also get multiple phones and many if not most houses had more than one jack. It wasn’t difficult to install them, Radio Shack sold the kits!

      • r m reddicks

        Any kid in the house could make the phone get to just about anywhere in the house if he had a screwdriver and some imagination way further back than the 70’s (or 60’s or …)

  • Swampay

    I have some sympathy for old Ms Moore. She probably believes the old bastard and has for however many years. It’s probably total denial for her rather than intentionally spinning lies.

    • pixiedust8

      I can’t have sympathy for anyone who would marry him, but yes–she’s in denial. It’ll be so awesome when she reaches the anger stage, if she gets there. I hope he pays.

    • LA Julian

      She was a classmate of the girl with the yearbook. If every teenager in Gadsden at that time already knew to watch out for him, at the mall, the sports field, and multiple restaurants, I doubt very much she was unaware herself either.

    • Maybe

      I might have some sympathy when she defends him, but not when she goes on the attack against his accusers. That’s vile.

  • Manders

    My mom was a teen from about 1950 to 1960; she has told me the story, numerous times, of taking the phone into her room and closing the door. It would just fit, and her brother could then put baby powder on the other side of the door and blow it at her through a straw.

    So the 1979/short phone cord this is entire BS, in case we didn’t know it already.

    • pixiedust8

      We had a landline in our house well into the 90s, and over the years, that cord stretched SO MUCH. I used to go into the laundry room to talk in private.

      • LA Julian

        You could actually buy longer phone cords so that they would reach more parts of the house, by 1979! And if it was a tabletop model, not a wallmount, you could carry the whole thing into another room, and it was even possible to get cord extenders for your wall jack in 1979. It’s as if these fools don’t actually remember the Good Old Days they pine for…

        • Mystery_Poster

          Was that when America was great? Can we make it that way again?

    • Petunia Cat

      Now that you mention that all thru the 70s when I was a teenager I would take the phone from my parents room, an ugly mustard yellow rotary, across the hall into the guestroom to talk on it in private. And those phones were installed when the house was built in 1966. So yeah. Before cell phones people didn’t TOTALLY LACK PHONE PRIVACY! These people are such ughs.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      My parents had to get me a phone in the 70s cause they were tired of getting clotheslined by the long one I was using. Radio Shack? Sears? Montgomery Wards? Roses? Fake stores from the 70s!!

    • Clark_Nova

      One phone with outlets in each bedroom was not at all unusual in that time frame.

  • bluicebank

    “… because the loop at the bottom of the “R”
    is a lot longer in the yearbook than on a signature from when Moore was
    Chief Justice of Alabama, and also the number “7” looks different in the
    two dates.”

    To this day, I switch how I (cursive) write a capital “M” (rounded or jagged, depends on if I’m pissed), and don’t get me started on the lowercase “n” which is the ugly stepchild I sometimes refuse to acknowledge. The “7” is a special case, requiring no serif unless joined near serif-one, in which case I’ll need to cross the stem.

    Now at this point I’m tempted to accuse Roy Moore of trolling my teenage self on the I-10 following the California Jam II debacle, being as I was a longhair and could be mistaken for a girl, but Roy has an alibi: He was trolling Alabama malls, not outside the Ontario Speedway in SoCal picking up stoners. So in his defense, he wasn’t that one fucker. He was the other fucker.

  • Viktor

    Kayla Moore is more concerned about protecting her grifting of donations from her non profit, protecting her drug addled son, and protecting her sexual predator husband, than protecting young girls from men like her husband.

    • justjoseph

      Attack the victim:
      “Drug addled son”
      “Sexual predator husband”
      What’s next….”she wore tight clothing…and…MAKEUP!” ?

      • Ellen D.

        Yeah, no. Go read Mrs. Moore’s facebook page, she’s as awful as her husband.

  • Petunia Cat

    Way to bury the lead! They fibbed about the pastor letter. 40 pastors did not support paedophile Moore. They only supported pre-paedophile Moore. Oh that’s pretty crappy too. Anyway, extravagant piece of fraudulence by the campaign itself. And not looney, nutter Gateway Poophead.

    Also that Twitter guy who was smearing one of the Moore’s victims, the expanding number of purple hearts 💜 guy, had stolen the identity of navy guy who died in 07. Story about it in either dailybeast or BuzzFeed.

  • John

    Of course a good Christian lied, they lie to themselves all the time.

  • Mystery_Poster

    Maybe we should give him the same “prayers” they give to the victims of shootings.

    • Peggy Ryan

      Don’t forget the ‘thoughts and’.

  • More_Cowbell

    “We can’t say we agree 100% with Mr. Baker’s police work, there.”

    Fargo quote for the win.

  • Maybe

    If they claim they have proof that any accusers were paid and they name someone specific, they’d better have that proof. Otherwise the lawsuit will be coming their way.

  • Delu

    Ah so they DID go the Obama Birth Certificate route in their conspiracy theorizing!

    Was afraid they wouldn’t for a moment…..

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Saaaay, you know who else claimed incriminating documents were forgeries?

  • BreakingDeadMen

    I hope to Gawd they aren’t bluffing. If this really goes to court, I’m buying stock in ConAgra, because Orville Redenbacher will fly off the motherfucking shelves to watch that shit.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    Pay up, Pundit puke!

  • arundel

    By the way, cheers to AL.com for covering this story with acuity and proper journalism. Good to see.

  • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

    Is it possible to look at Roy Moron and not hear the Deliverance banjo?

  • The Librarian

    So the Mrs. kinda forged that letter of support list?

  • Mary

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  • If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is “God is crying.”

    And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is “Probably because of something Roy Moore did.”
    https://media.giphy.com/media/wBR9Zf2GQclt6/giphy.gif

  • EER

    His wife calls him Judge Moore?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Yes. Yes she does.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Gross. He probably insists on it.

  • Kwami Ishmael

    Not to be anal about it, but the name is “Olde,” per the business directory…

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