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Do we have to explain that 'mutti' is German for 'mama'? Nah, you guys are smart.
‘The climate is hotter than your mutti’ is some first class trolling.

The UN is holding its annual climate change summit in Bonn, Germany, this year, and the only event sponsored by the United States of America was a panel discussion on the vital topic of “Clean Coal,” held on the sidelines of the actual conference. Yep, the times they have a change-ed. And wouldn’t you know it, people in the audience didn’t even sit still and wait to hear about the wonders of how coal can make everyone’s life better, possibly because the people in the audience weren’t all coal company executives, who really eat that stuff up.

Clean coal is bull—-,” one person yelled. “Liars, you are a bunch of liars,” another bellowed from the back of the room.

The Guardian reports that roughly 3/4 of the audience of 200 interrupted the panel by bursting into song, or what passes for it, considering what they were parodying:

To the tune of God Bless the USA, the mostly young protesters sang: “So you claim to be an American, but we see right through your greed, it’s killing right across the world, for all that coal money.”

OK, now we know that’s just fake news, because “God Bless the USA” has no discernible tune.

And despite the best efforts of the panelists to explain that coal is clean and wonderful and efficient, it seems virtually none of the international representatives were impressed, probably because they’re all biased against having their land flooded or they have an unnatural fondness for the polar ice caps.

Tuaoi Uepa, a delegate from the Marshall Islands, called the event “ridiculous.”

“There’s no such thing as clean fossil fuels. … We can’t move to the future like that,” Uepa said.

Now just hold on a damn minute — the Marshall Islands are a US possession, so why was that guy even allowed to go to a UN climate summit? Donald Trump will no doubt try to cancel his visa so he can’t come to America anymore.

Still, George David Banks, a White House energy aide, did his very best to insist that clean power can’t possibly meet the needs of a modern industrial democracy. That might be a tough sell in Germany, where on one particularly sunny, breezy weekend in April, roughly 85% of the nation’s power was generated by solar and wind. That was an unusually clean weekend, but even so, Germany managed to get about 35% of its power generation from renewables in the first half of the year, a new record.

Banks also insisted we must make the planet less capable of sustaining life if you want electricity in the developing world, Just Because:

“This panel is only controversial if we choose to bury our heads in the sand and ignore the realities of the global energy system,” he said.

Banks and Barry Worthington, the head of the United States Energy Association, promised that the US would help finance “cleaner-burning coal plants” in the developing world, but were a bit short on details of how brilliantly clean those plants would be. Clean enough to buy lots of American coal for, you bet! And as a matter of fact, the administration has actually proposed cutting in half the funding for the Energy Department office that issues research grants into capturing carbon emissions from coal plants. Maybe the coal industry will decide to research carbon capture itself when it gets a huge tax cut.

Among the panelists was an executive from Peabody Coal, which the Guardian notes has been a very active funder of climate denial groups, because if the government funds real science (or at least used to), it’s only fair for industry to balance things out with some pseudoscience.

And darn it, some of those developing nations just don’t seem to understand how much they need dirty energy to be prosperous and happy, like Benson Kibiti, of the Kenya Climate Working Group, who said “More coal will entrench poverty.” Guess he needs a lesson from Rick Perry about how only clean coal can stop rape, huh? Kibiti has some really weird ideas about how to bring electricity to the developing world:

More coal is not going to end the problem of people living without electricity. The vast majority — 84% — of electricity-poor households globally are in rural areas, so off-grid solutions powered by renewables like solar, wind and small hydro are going to be the cheapest and quickest.

Yeah, but how are you going to cut in Peabody Coal, Exxon, or a corrupt head of state that way, huh?

There’s just no pleasing some people, like former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg, who now serves his globalist masters as “UN special envoy for cities and climate change.” He said, “Promoting coal at a climate summit is like promoting tobacco at a cancer summit,” which we would like on a coffee cup, maybe. Bloomberg also said that if the Trump administration won’t lead on climate policy, “it should at least get out of the way.”

Hahaha, silly Deep State globalist! The Trump administration is the only way, and if you and your coalition of cities and businesses who plan to meet the Paris carbon reduction goals don’t like it, Donald Trump will personally come put clean coal in your compost bin, or whatever it is you hippies have.

Wonkette depends on your love to keep us warm. We also partner with Arcadia Energy, which gives us a nice signing bonus for every Wonkette supporter who joins their wind energy program and/or their solar energy program — pay your home energy bill with green energy, regardless of where you live!

[Politico / Guardian]

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  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • Jeffocaster in the East

      Ya can’t beat the charcoal taste tho……

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fish need to look more like Blinky.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Clean coal is as real as diet fat or Trump’s hair but with extra anal leakage.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Let’s start calling it ‘little white coal.’

  • Villago Delenda Est

    This coal thing is so fucking stupid. It’s like Donald demanding that buggy whip manufacturers be protected from reality.

    • GoutMachine

      So much for that “free market.”

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    It is American as Nat (ural) King Coal

  • Weird Fishes

    Didn’t they open coal-cleaning plant in PA recently? I seem to recall Bronzo the Malignant mentioning that. So clean coal and moar jobz! How can we be the only ones who want to live the dream?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      He thinks that if you run water over coal, you’re cleaning it.

      • Weird Fishes

        He also thinks he’s a credible president, so the joke’s on us.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Mavenmaven

    Trump and co want to reduce this country to a state of penury like the Philippines, where in order not to starve, no one cares about environmental regulation, and thus people poison themselves with mercury to make gold for the rich: https://www.hrw.org/news/2017/06/09/philippines-mercury-poisoning-report-highlights-risks

    • Gosala

      You say that as if it was a bad thing.

      Charles Koch, ALLEGEDLY

    • GoutMachine

      And where they can initiate extrajudicial killings because Dear Leader doesn’t like you.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        “Ostensibly” for smoking the devil weed. That part gives Keebler a squee.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I see where they’re gonna go with this. Liberals are the real racists for not wanting to build coal-firing power plants in Africa. Why do you hate Africans?

    • Gosala

      Oh, they’re already there. You see it on the climate threads all the time.

    • TJ Barke

      Yup. Just like we’re the real sexists for not wanting to save all the women by eradicating islam.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Saudi Arabia is the problem. But oh, wait, look, it’s because of fossil fuels why we’re “Allies” with such a barbaric country! You’d think the Islam-phobes would want us to get on board with solar paneling to stick it to Saudi Arabia, but noooooo, they want to drill in Alaska instead, because fuck them libs and their sissy fag polar bears. You can’t win…

  • Suttree

    Are these people born without shame, or does their ability to feel it dissipate $1 at a time?

    • jesterpunk

      Its removed surgically along with a conscience when they become republicans.

      • Crystalclear12

        Fortunately, most Republicans are breed to be soulless now. Not having to suck that out is a real timesaver.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • dslindc

      Fake news! That’s obviously just Jesus Fog™️!

    • Boscoe

      Clearly the cows are responsible…

      • wide_stance_hubby

        And they do nothing about their tree problem (trees cause pollution, per St. Ron).

      • Paul

        “Clearly” ISWYDT

    • Cow farts.

  • OrG

    Oxy-moran.

    • OutOfOrbit

      tried that & the stupid still won’t wash out

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I love coal. A piece of coal looks like a steak, prepared just the way I like it…”
    — Donald Trump

  • Crystalclear12

    Of course our major export lately has been stupid.
    Tons and tons of stupid.
    Pity that can’t be converted into something useful.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      You could can it and label it “Clams .”

      • Crystalclear12

        You monster!

      • kareemachan

        Crunchy?

    • rocktonsam

      Converted into indictments..

      • Crystalclear12

        I hope. . .

  • Joshua Norton

    Trump apparently thinks “clean coal” means you wash it with the same stuff they use to clean the goop off all those mucked up baby ducks after they swim thru an oil spill.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      with a name like mangled baby ducks…

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Dawn to publicly distance themselves from the administration in 5…4…3…

      • GoutMachine

        Yeah, but smashing a bottle of Dawn doesn’t have the same satisfaction as smashing a $200 coffeemaker.

        • Gosala

          Smashing Dawn is my New Age Native American Ripoff spirit name.

          • GoutMachine

            I’d say it’s pretty metal.

          • Gosala

            That works too. How about New Age Metal?

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Or crashing a Volvo.

      • kareemachan

        As if….

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Wait we thought the baby ducks were for cleaning the goop off the coal…”

    • Daniel

      The thing is, I feel in the current state the world’s in it’s necessary to point out that this is not actually a joke.

      Trump gave a speech at one of his rallies not long ago where he described “clean coal” as being cleaned right out of the ground. That is literally what he thinks it is- that someone washes the coal before it’s used.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Not only that, it comes from Nambia, which is an island surrounded by very big, very incredible ocean. Many people aren’t aware of this, what is ocean. But, let me tell you, it’s yuge, and people are going to be talking about it more and more. Believe me.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He thinks you bleach it like computer servers and emails.

  • GoutMachine

    The funny (not funny) thing is that Fiji is actually the host this year. Kind of underscores the fact that Fiji will be underwater before the end of the century. But I’m sure “clean coal” is the answer here. That and guns, somehow.

    • dslindc

      And tax cuts! Don’t forget tax cuts!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “The tide’s coming in…quick pile up some more of that coal the Americans gave us.” :(

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        You can’t explain that.

    • kareemachan

      I visited Fiji a while back. It was wonderful. Now? I’m not so sure….

      • GoutMachine

        “Nice island you got here. Be a shame if something happened to it.”

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          It’s surrounded by ocean. Many, many people don’t know what is ocean.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Other things Trump would like to bring back:
    – Leaded gasoline
    – Asbestos
    – Polio

    • Suttree

      -Droit du seigneur

      • Daniel

        When you’re noblesse they oblige you.

    • puredog

      Measles

  • Antonin Dvorak

    I recently got into an argument with a person in the comments section of youtube who was convinced Germany producing renewable energy was leading them to financial ruin. The good news is by the end I had the rest of the comment section on my side.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Why? Most of the cretins who comment on youtube are simply too dumb and awful to be allowed on Yahoo

      • Antonin Dvorak

        It is a bad habit I picked up.

    • GoutMachine

      Wow, that’s some serious masochism there, sir.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        I know, I really need to get out more.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      The greatest thing I have ever seen in the comments on YouTube is on the video for Count Floyd presenting Dr. Tongue’s 3D House of Pancakes (a sketchy that is constantly playing somewhere in my brain at all times, like an anti-virus program). Some guy says: “This is stupid. He’s dressed like Dracula, but then he howls like the Wolf-Man.” To which it is naturally replied: “Yes. That’s the joke.”

      • Antonin Dvorak

        My favorite comment of all time:

        “He who is tired of Weird Al, is tired of life.”

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          My favorite was in the section underneath the Blue Boy episode of Dragnet:

          “Friday is such a buzzkill, he should change his name to Monday.”

      • Gigglesnort

        I liked the one I saw on a video of Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show:

        “You can be high, but you’ll never be 70’s rock band high.”

        • BreakingDeadMen

          And I’ve tried

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Whaling means jobs!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Big Spermaceti has deep pockets.

    • Daniel

      Call me rich male!

    • Suttree

      I’m going to start a harpoon manufacturing plant.

      • puredog

        Me for fish-flavored polenta that I’ll call “Ambergrits.”

        • Suttree

          No cheese on mine please.

      • Querolous

        I’ll build a baleen hoop skirt factory next door.

    • TJ Barke

      Plus no more whales.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        They won’t be peeing in the ocean any more.

        • Suttree

          Start bottling it and sell it to rich people before the supply runs out.

    • calliecallie
  • Suttree

    “These communists hate the ability of Africans to open their own businesses and put food on their families.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8cba87f4f536600742d86465d4648ccb9c63fb67af56748f4a55cb4cb701f902.jpg

  • Phoenixdoglover

    “The Guardian reports that roughly 3/4 of the audience of 200 interrupted the panel by bursting into song, or what passes for it, considering what they were parodying”

    This warms my heart.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
    • TJ Barke

      Is that a Ben Garrison Trump with anime eyes?

  • FUN FACT: I initially misread the story and was trying to make those lyrics fit GOD BLESS AMERICA.

    • GoutMachine

      They’re equally terrible songs.

      • Resistor Radio

        God bless the USA is exponentially worse, IMO

        • GoutMachine

          Yeah, I mean, at least “God Bless America” was written by a competent composer, but it is Irving Berlin’s worst output. But they’re both equally horrible in the jingoism department.

          • Kate Smith should be the only person allowed to sing it:

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEJo7x9y3D4

          • Resistor Radio

            Irving Berlin wrote that? Huh, the things I learn from wonkette! Yeah, it’s pretty schlocky. My choice for a patriotic song is “This Land is Your Land,” with “America, America” in the running but waaaay far behind. Both were fun to sing in choir.

    • Ellie

      Oh, me too. I thought I was just having another Senior Moment.

    • Resistor Radio

      Me too!!!!!

  • GoutMachine

    OT, but I went to the men’s room at work this morning, and someone in the cleaning crew put new TP rolls upside down so they roll out under, not over. I’m considering suing for creating a hostile work environment.

    • Resistor Radio

      Only people who are bad and should feel bad would fight you on this.

    • kareemachan

      DO IT!!! I would.

    • Daniel

      There’s no words, really. At times like this nothing I nor anyone else could say could make this better but still I struggle. The words will come. They must. Or else we’re here, peering into the dark of an eternal chasm, where light only dies, and where nothing grows. The desolation is total, and nothing can restore what was there before-
      trust.

      I am so sorry.

      • puredog

        Somehow I read that as “peeing into the dark of an eternal chasm.”

    • OrG

      I blame putin.

    • Gosala

      Quit complaining. At least you have toilet paper, a men’s room and work. Yeesh some people are soooo demanding.

    • ez

      First world type law suit.

  • Phoenixdoglover

    Christmas present idea for the Dotard. A lump of clean coal. 1600 Pennsylvania Ave everyone.

  • Sophia

    It seems recently that I am posting more about the OOPS that the GOP’s. Maybe they should change their name.
    Alabama pastors want off Roy Moore endorsement letter as sex abuse allegations pile up

    “The list that has recently circulated was evidently copied and pasted from the August endorsements without checking to see if I still endorsed Moore,” said Pastor Thad Endicott, of Heritage Baptist Church.

    Endicott asked for his name to be removed from the letter of endorsement.

    At least one of the pastors listed as a Moore supporter no longer serves the church named in the letter.

    Moore’s campaign did not respond to questions about the letter.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/alabama-pastors-want-off-roy-moore-endorsement-letter-as-sex-abuse-allegations-pile-up/

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Along with everything else, Mr. Moore is evidently lazy and deceitful. I swear, there’s a Republican plant somewhere that just stamps these shits out. They’re all failed human beings, and their failures are boringly cookie cutter in their consistency.

  • ArgieBargie

    “God Bless the USA” might be the worst fucking piece of pandering, jingoistic garbage song ever written.

    In other words, a great choice for a protest mock-song.

    • nightmoth

      The line “at LEAST I know I’m free” is the worst fucking whine lyric ever written in English. It’s even worse than every single “teen death” song from the 1960s.

      • ArgieBargie

        Fun fact: the record label forced Lee Greenwood to change the original lyrics, “at LEAST I’m not a filthy godless commie.”

        • Oblios_Cap

          Almost as bad as that Alan Jackson song about “Where Were You When They Built that Ladder to Heaven”.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xFYLO-wcKkw

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            “Niiiiiiine…. eleven.”

      • Oblios_Cap

        “Who is freer than a dead man?”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • canes_pugnaces

    I did a few spots, years back, for the English advertising company who made BPs little green flower logo. They also came up with the ‘clean coal’ meme. Those guys, who weren’t half bad (but were ½ horrible, too), sat around and came up with this shit. Thought it was as funny as hell.

    • GoutMachine

      I mean, it is genius. Evil genius, but genius.

      • canes_pugnaces

        They also came up with the term they used to describe themselves: Green Washing.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Hey, if shoving coal up there causes it to turn into diamonds, we may have a solution to our deficit problem.

    • Crystalclear12

      Worth a shot!

  • marxalot

    Say it loud, say it proud: COAL KILLS

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I personally won’t be satisfied until this world is a terminally overpopulated, filthy, irradiated, cancer-ridden, starving, fishless, toxic hellscape. Maybe I won’t see it in my lifetime, but with Trump’s help and people like him in generations to come, we can get there! You just have to believe.

    • nightmoth

      I worry about the bunny rabbits and the butterflies. And basically all the other non-human life forms.

  • James Baskin

    “Its dark as a dungeon way down in the mines….” Merle Travis.

  • Ruhe

    “…Donald Trump will personally come put clean coal in your compost bin…”
    Okay, someone photoshop me a picture of Trump as Krampus, please.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…

    Tattoos…most of the time, they’re really quite shitty.

    http://cheezburger.com/3980805/these-cringe-worthy-tattoos-are-the-definition-of-regret

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Those are terrible.

    • GoutMachine

      I’ve never had the desire to get a tattoo. I don’t really care about anything that much.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I only pay the dentist for pain. But I don’t mind other people getting them.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’ve got 5.
        4 of which I want covered up with different tats or removed altogether.
        Take my word for it, there’s NO SUCH THING as a bargain tattoo.

    • marxalot

      WUT

    • NastyBossetti
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Butt zits are the worst…also Donald Trump.

    • Gosala

      Potato, potahto

    • MynameisBlarney

      Pfffft…
      Ain’t nuthin compared to grundle bunions.

      • The Wanderer

        Grundle bunions? Anything like rectal calluses?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          don’t you mean a taint scab?

          (Okay, sorry about that. I’m leaving soon)

          • Daniel

            Taint Scab is a minor villain in the upcoming new Star Wars trilogy.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            Noooo, it’s the name of my new dermatology themed electro-detal metal band!

          • The Wanderer

            (It’s okay, don’t worry.)
            Taint scabs are a worry after you shave down there. Proper hygiene can clear them up quickly.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Put some salve on it, should clear up in a coupla weeks.
            And don’t pick at it, unless ya want it ta fester.

          • The Wanderer

            Durn tootin’.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Kinda, ‘cept differnt.

      • Daniel

        Worst children’s book characters ever.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Total “Where The Wild Things Are” ripoff.

    • puredog

      Comment plagued by internal redundancy.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        “would not upfist again.”

        ; )

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Trump and his minion hates the planet as much he hates women, minorities, common decently…..

  • Courser_Resistance

    I read this early in the AM and was very pleased and heartened. And then I realized they were mocking MY country. And it was perfectly okay because my country is a disgrace right now and deserves to be mocked and shunned. Sucks to be us.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      This whole “wrong side of history” thing really is a drag.

      • Crystalclear12

        Maybe Germany can give pointers during the reconstruction?

        • ImGoingBacon

          I hope there doesn’t have to be a version of the Berlin airlift enacted.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            You don’t want to ride in the Snoopy blimp over to Canada now that the NFL isn’t using it anymore?

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Well, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands probably wouldn’t mind.

  • MynameisBlarney

    They tried this shit before.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10141913723

    Roosha’s “evidence” of US helping ISIS is footage from a 2015 pc game.

    • clubseal

      Why don’t they just reference the Iraq War? Nothing helped ISIS as much as we did by doing that.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Too abstract for the mouth breathing fucktard set to comprehend.

  • jesterpunk
    • GoutMachine

      That’s rapidly approaching the AOT,K singularity.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Has there ever been an obsolete technology that American politicians have fought harder for?

    • jesterpunk

      Give them time and Ajit Pai will be fighting to bring back dialup and call that high speed internet.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I’d be OK with this if it meant that Twitter and Facebook would become unsustainable.

        • jesterpunk

          I wouldn’t, I work from home and need fast internet to work.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            OK, I can see that.

            DNS blockades against Twitter and Facebook as a compromise. Or just a Pirate Bay-style FBI raid that shuts them down.

    • GoutMachine

      Nope. And meanwhile, China will kick our ass six ways to Sunday on green power. We just ceded future economic power to them.

    • nightmoth

      Too bad the blacksmiths didn’t organize and fight horseless carriages like this.

    • Daniel

      The sundial lobby is still pretty influential.

    • Daniel

      Big Henge also exerts a fuck of a lot of power in D.C.

    • georgiaburning

      Slavery

      • Gosala

        We have a winner! Please come to the front desk to collect your prize

    • Oblios_Cap

      Bring back the buggy whip!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I think the Fifty Shades crowd has cornered the market on that.

  • mardam422

    These Yurpean and developing countries. Don’t they know coal companies can’t make any money from wind and solar energy? What is their problem, anyway?

  • Making America Great Again by leading the world into the 21st century with the best energy source of the 18th century.

  • Oblios_Cap
  • marxalot

    Dang, the Wig’s admin just can’t get enough of handing economic and political leadership of the world away to literally anyone else, huh?

    • Gosala

      He sees the world in 19th century terms: robber barons, competing empires, that sort of thing.

      Too bad for him (and us) two world and a cold war later, that’s not the way things work.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        He’ll get us into a Turd World War before he lets anyone else “start winning.” We’re already fighting a Cold Civil War at home.

        • Kneeling Bozilingus

          ‘Cold Civil War’
          Maybe if we fight here we won’t have to fight ‘over there’.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Well, we either kill each other on our own shores, or we get killed by North Koreans and Afghanis over there. Either way, it involves brown people getting killed (and some “Yellow” ones, according to Roy Moore), so for the Republicans, it’s a tossup.

  • calliecallie

    It occurred to me today that I may live to see the ‘Merican standard of living be more in line with rest of the world. We have been living fat and happy for a long time, at the expense of many others around the globe. It’s not sustainable.

    • TJ Barke

      Take your realistic and reasonable assessment back to commietown, hippie!

      • MynameisBlarney

        *nods*
        We don’t take kindly to folks what take reality seriously.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Indeed.
      And telling people that got me funny looks and questions of why I hate America.
      Seriously.

      • clubseal

        I’ve boiled it down to this: I don’t hate America, just what America has done to the world and its own people for as long as however old America is.

    • OrG

      Too much waste here. Standard of living doesn’t have to come down. But over-comsumption does.

      • clubseal

        The standard of living will only rise if we’re proactive enough to figure out what to do with the legions of workers that will be displaced by robots. Without some sort of socialist-ish solution, we’re looking at a really bad time in the future.

        • OrG

          Player Piano.

          • clubseal

            Yep. I know that Vonnegut isn’t considered terribly sophisticated in “serious” literary circles, but I honestly don’t see how he could have been more prescient about the effect such a shift would have on a population.

          • georgiaburning

            Reeks and Wrecks or the army.

          • clubseal

            For a sizable portion of our population, that’s already the choice, I suppose.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Neither could Durkheim, although he’s too ferrin and obscure of an academic. But if I can’t find a job, I really feel I’ll have no other choice. Even if I did get a mincome, I’d feel guilty about it as being a welfare check. You can’t really take the America out of an American.

        • Gosala

          Universal Basic Income (and remembering 1. we’re not so much workers as people and 2. why we have an economy in the first place)

          • TJ Barke

            We need to remember that economy exists to serve people, people don’t exist to serve it.

          • Gosala

            Bingo!

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Won’t happen, because like you and Clubseal said, it sounds and smells like socialism or socialist-ish-ness.

            Personally, I’d rather have the Futurama suicide booths. You can have both, but let me decide. I don’t think I could stand another 50 years of doing nothing.

            I want a job, but I can’t do anything computer-related other than type memos and stories in Word. I’m going stir crazy as it is, and no one has yet come up with a solution for how to address the lack of dignity that comes with unemployment. You do what you are; if you do nothing, you are nothing. That’s just how our cultural psychology works.

            Americans actually dread retirement, because the Protestant work ethic makes you feel guilty for sitting at home collecting a paycheck with no effort put in.

          • Oblios_Cap

            No me, Girl Guide. I’m looking forward to it in about 6 years.

          • SpideySenser

            I have no worries about sitting around getting back the money I put into it. Probably starting Feb 1, 2018 :-). Hafta wait and see what’s going to happen at my current situation.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            You must be older than I am. I’m 33. I really want to climb into a Futurama booth, because I’m tired of being part of the surplus population. Bad enough I’m a 4F — or should I say, T4 — to begin with.

          • clubseal

            I’m 33 as well and the only thing I want from Futurama is my own Bender Bending Rodriguez pal.

          • Oblios_Cap

            I am. Ah, to be young again and feel love’s bitter sting…

          • Gosala

            It is socialism, flat out. It may even be, ultimately, communist, but I don’t care about that.

            A market economy can function without workers. That’s what we face with increasing automaton.

            But it cannot function without consumers. Consumers create the demand that results in production and distribution.

            Currently most consumers acquire money by selling their labor. But in a fully automated economy they won’t have that ability. So the whole thing will collapse.

            A UBI ensures continued demand and, therefore a need for production.

            As for the value of work, a coupe of notes. First, very few of us find meaning or value in work. For most of us it is a grinding, deadening round that robs of time and health. Having meaningful paid work is a privilege that is rarer than we care to believe.

            Second, there can be human value in work and that value does not need to be tied to a wage, ask any volunteer.

            There are things each of us wants to do (indeed needs to do) but cannot because our days are spent earning our daily bread.

            Imagine the works of art, the humanitarian efforts, or even the quiet moments with family sitting under the stars if labor could be freed of cruel necessity.

            (Yes, I’m a romantic)

      • MynameisBlarney

        I think at this point, the Standard of Living is gonna come down for most Americans anyway.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      That’s actually terrifying. I don’t want to live like third-world cavemen.

      Can I haz DIY “population control” before that happens?

      • clubseal

        Seems a bit repetitive … what would a first world caveman be like?
        “Uh. Went IKEA today. Got stone couch. Just like sex life, it’s pull out.”

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          “what would a first world caveman be like?”

          Alabama or Kansas, or Russia. There’s a pathetic excuse for what passes for “infrastructure” in them there deplorable places, but it’s nevertheless better than Somalia.

          • clubseal

            See, this is the problem with my brain … now I’m wondering whether cavemen and cavewomen had these discussions about whether the cavepeople in other places were living in worse conditions.
            “I know, Grunk. Can you believe that they’re still hunter-gatherers? What savages!”

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Ha. My brain too. Someone really should come up with a pill to treat the uniquely un-American condition of surplus brain cells.

            (I say this half-seriously, because I’ve always been picked on for being a thinky type person.)

          • clubseal

            You’re hanging out with the wrong people, then. I actually run a free drawing course at the local library that’s all about letting your mind wander and drawing the result.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Not much of an artist myself, but I gather that’s not really the point. All I know is, that XKCD guy is a genius — he became a multi-millionaire from drawing stick figures with witty comments above their stick-figure heads.

            I actually don’t “hang out” with anybody. My family members are ignants. But high school leaves an indelible mark on your self-conception. They canned publication of the honor roll because it unintentionally served as doxing before such a thing even existed. An enemies list for who the “cool kids” could go after.

            Suffice it to say I’m in a donut hole. Too smart for the knuckle-draggers, but not smart enough in a sciency-computery way to have a good-paying job in the sciency-computery age. I’m probably hanging out in the wrong country too, because America is no country for local book people.

          • clubseal

            You’re welcome to join me on my island when I move there. It’s in space, and powered by the rotation caused by the extreme gravitational pull outside the event horizon of a local black hole.
            I can teach you how to draw.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      As long as we get universal health care like the rest of the world, I’m cool with that.

  • The Wanderer

    OT, but how did the Chinless Horse Fiddler fare in the House Committee today?

    • puredog

      His taint was mostly well-licked, last I heard.

  • laughingnome

    Hakim Jeffries is giving Sessions a good whacking.

  • Ricky Gay

    How Republicans deal with inconvenient reality:
    https://youtu.be/h0FfOs-t6jQ

    • Ricky Gay

      I know, cat libelz

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Barry Worthington? Are the other members named Richie Rich and Angus McGreedy?

  • clubseal

    I love the idea of finding new and better ways to create energy using the sun, our own kinetic energy and more.
    Whoops! Just became an enemy of the state for saying that out loud.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      A lab just created translucent solar panels for people who don’t like the ugly tinted ones on their rooftops.

      http://nypost.com/2017/10/25/invisible-solar-panels-could-eventually-power-your-home/

      The article asks why solar paneling isn’t in wide use. Well, for one, $$$$ for T-Rex and his fossil fuel dinosaurs, and also too — rolling coal is a sign of American “manliness” that those fruity Eurotrash and Eastern Liberal Canadians don’t understand because they’re cucks. Yes, (West) Virginia, Mother Earth needs feminism. #HerToo

      • clubseal

        Have you seen the roads that are made of solar energy producing material? I’m not sure if they’ve been proven to withstand the wear and tear of normal road use, but that is an awesome idea in my book.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          I haven’t, but it does sound like a great idea. Also too, Musk’s supercharged batteries. The translucent panels intrigued my creative side because I kinda want to see them be made in pretty colors so as to make the whole sky shine like a rainbow. Slap them on the roof of Parliament Hill in Ottawa (Jimmy will do it, you know he will — the whole project), and Canada becomes even more of a Disney Nelvana LSD trip than it already is.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        In those red states, they should just leave hybrids by the side of the road with the keys in them. Try it out, return if you don’t like.
        My so, who is a Luddite has been very skeptical about hybrids. We rented a hybrid Fusion for our last trip. 200 Miles of driving, about $3.00 to fill up the tank. You could see the light switch going on in his head.

        • clubseal

          Yeah, but was it an energy saving bulb?

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            I told him that I was throwing out the secret stash of incandescents in the trash because pita. Fluorescents are awful but leds are good.
            I tell him to his face it’s like getting a mule to go into a horse trailer. Sometimes you have to back it in.

          • clubseal

            I LOVE LEDs. Super bright and they use a small fraction of the energy. Even my backwater town has switched most of its street lights to LEDs.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            You never have to change them, and they never explode if you use the wrong size. I like that too.

          • clubseal

            One half of that statement could be a joke about condoms, I think.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Which are the ones that have mercury in them and you have to call HAZMAT or something if they break? Is that the CFL? (Not Canadian Football League.)

          • clubseal

            I think that fluorescents are best for backyard wrestling, if I remember the late 90s correctly.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Those are fluorescent not incandescent

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Solar? That’s a pipe dream.

    • Crystalclear12

      Someone will be by to collect you shortly.

      • clubseal

        Thank Christ. I do not want to be at work today.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Fuck coal – why, there’s much more clean energy to be had in old-growth forests.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Fucking trees, think they’re so great . . .

      (Sorry, I had a leaf-raking flashback)

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Kinky eco porn?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Bad leadership. Bad science. Bad planning. Bad economics. But, hey, I’m sure squeezing 20 more votes out of Mingo County will be worth it.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      You’d think the party of the white supremacist would be able to do something objectively “good” for the Western Civilization that they are oh, so proud of.

  • Ωbjectifier

    That would be a methane chute, no?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Wanderer

      Never heard of power storage (batteries, etc.), have they?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Sure they have, they just don’t speak of it to their dumbass base.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      “Wind dies down, sun goes up. You can’t explain that.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        “Never a miscommunication!”

    • OrG

      I can’t tell if this reminds me of Soviet or Nazi propaganda.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yes.

      • ImGoingBacon

        FORCE McKinky looks like he’s ready for a wild night in Philly.

    • clubseal

      Wind dies. Sun sets. And coal … will never run out before either of those things stops happening?

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        And batteries exist.

    • Gosala

      1. Batteries
      2. Continental scale power grid connected by high voltage direct current lines.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Batteries burn out and have to be replaced. And they leak, also too. #2 is too technical so it’s obviously a scam by librul eleetists. Coal Rules!!!!

        /s, of course.

        • Gosala

          /s you say, but that attitude is out there.

      • Opiwan

        3. One BILLION hamsters running on wheels!
        4. Profit!

    • Michael R

      Sponsored by
      “Citizens Who Want Generations Of Their Children
      Working In Coal Mines For Poor Wages With No Heath Care “

      • georgiaburning

        something about protecting their way of death

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Fossil Fuels are Finite Resources. Species go Extinct.

      You need renewable, increasingly efficient forms of electricity.

      FightingForTheFutureOfHUMANITY .org.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I have a feeling that a family tradition of working in coal mines turns folks into Morlocks. Evolution at work, people!

      Stupid Fucking Morlocks.

    • JohnBull

      That artwork looks soooo Soviet.

    • Oblios_Cap

      If only we could create power from bullshit…

    • Daniel

      Coal burns to ash.

      Batteries exist.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      These make me *cray* every time I drive the PeeAy’en turnpike.

    • Ms.Moon

      I live on an island the sea is in constant motion we can get power from that as well as wind on the sea as well. I love my solar panels my bill in the summer is usually the connection to the grid fee when we have ac on as well.

  • bubbuhh
    • Antonin Dvorak
      • OrG

        FIXED.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Say, Tomi? Roy Moore would like to write something in your yearbook.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Nah… too old…

          (and EW).

    • TJ Barke

      In short; I’m privileged, and I want to keep the system that makes me privileged.

  • Spurning Beer

    Next year at the World Health Organization conference, we’ll run a presentation on Clean E. coli, sponsored by Taco Bell.

    • bubbuhh

      Chipotle Mexican Grill serves the best e coli.

    • OrG

      Chipotle libelz?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Featuring panels such as: Can E. coli solve the West’s obesity crisis?

      • puredog

        Canned e. coli can.

  • Michael R
    • TJ Barke

      He didn’t actually say that, did he?

      • Michael R

        No , I just translated it for everyone

      • Alan

        Essentially.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      But of course!!!

    • Anna Rompage

      I don’t recall ever talking about Russian contacts with anyone from the trump campaign, and remember clearly telling Papadopalos emphatically, not go forward with the proposals his Russian contacts were offering”

      • Michael R

        ( Papadopalos – while he was making the coffee rounds )

  • tehbaddr

    Umm, coal doesn’t compost Dok. Oh, but you prolly already knew that! ISWYDT!

  • bubbuhh

    Coal is the second best “root stock” for the chemicals used to make every plastic compound manufactured. Oil is the best. It’s criminally stoopit to burn either just to make heat or electricity when there are other cleaner ways to create both.

  • jesterpunk

    Well looks like it is too soon again to talk about gun control.

    http://www.redding.com/story/news/local/2017/11/14/reports-shooting-rancho-tehama/862125001/

    • OrG

      Not clicking.

      • jesterpunk

        Dont blame you there.

    • JohnBull

      Not looking either, but I’m pretty confident the comments run like this.
      1. Thoughts and prayers.
      2. I can’t belie-e-e-e-e-ve it happened here! (unaware that current legislation that allows guns everywhere means that’s EXACTLY where they’ll be used)
      3. We need time to come together.
      4. At least we’re not (fill in blank with European country with far better quality of life index)

      • jesterpunk

        Its in California so 2 is “If they allowed guns in schools this wouldn’t have happened because a good guy with a gun would have shot them quickly”

        • JohnBull

          Yes, like that good guy with the gun at the church in Texas. He was useful.

          • jesterpunk

            Or the good guys in Dallas… or in Walmart…

      • Resistor Radio

        A neighbor who was too scared of the gunshots to leave her house told a reporter “I have the right to bear arms and will use them to protect my son if I have to.” Which says a lot about the community, if your first thought is reminding everyone about the fucking second amendment.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Her logic is self-imploding.

    • Resistor Radio

      Fucking A. I looked. Sounds like the neighbors were worried about these folks for awhile. Fuck. Cue up another round of thoughts and prayers.

    • clubseal

      Yep. Not too far from where I live. It’s only a matter of time before it happens here, I reckon.

    • Resistor Radio

      Well, now Red Bluff can be famous for something besides “the girl in a box.” /s (because I’m frustrated and it’s all terrible I have to meet it with snark)
      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kidnapping_of_Colleen_Stan

      • clubseal

        Red Bluff is one of the worst places on earth. It’s almost always hot as hell and humid to boot, and I literally had a soccer teammate who lived there and missed a game because he got stabbed in a fight.

        • Resistor Radio

          Do they consider themselves part of the “State of Jefferson?”

          • Crank Tango

            Yes. I see the signs every time I drive down to the bay area.

          • clubseal

            Some do. I’m in the thick of the mythical and misguided movement.

          • Resistor Radio

            It IS pretty thick.

          • clubseal

            When your plan is to ignore endangered species and pillage the environment to fuel your economy – in 2017, for Chrissakes – you’re doing it wrong.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I’m disappointed in the song choice. They should have sung this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBGa9e2n_z4

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      It’s no “Old Joe’s Place,” but it’s got a good beat and you can dance to it. World’s better than the New Main Street Singers’ “Good Book Song”!

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      BTW, I never realized this until recently, but the Oscar race for Best Song that year was jam-packed with talent: Annie Lennox, Elvis Costello, Sting, T. Bone Burnett, and STILL Michael McKean and Annette O’Toole were robbed. “A Kiss At the End of the Rainbow” is such a great song.

  • JohnBull

    Build factories for stuff nobody wanted? That’s what the Soviets did in the 1970s. A funny (not-so-funny) story tells about a ball bearing factory, which made ball bearings. There was no market for it, so the material was sent to a smelting plant. After that it was sent back to the ball bearing factory. Nothing was produced except a ton of pollution.

    Ironic that a president and his dumbfuck minions call everyone communists but would very much enjoy this kind of system just to stick it to liberals half a continent away.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      I thought the right wingers were all about freedom of the market, and the government not picking “winners and losers”. Ironic, too, it’n it?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Well, they don’t want the government to pick winners and losers. That’s what lobbyists are for.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I think that was part of Brave New World too. They put a kibosh on progress so that people wouldn’t get restless about not having jobs.

  • Anna Rompage

    Ah yes, “cleaner burning coal” and yet no mention about the massive, highly toxic coal ash ponds that are a byproduct along with copious amounts of CO2, and air pollution…

    • clubseal

      Kind of similar to the nuclear power problem. Tons of waste and nowhere to put it. I guess the mentality is “Use all the power and let God sort the waste out.” (God, incidentally, will let us all get mutated the fuck out by said waste)

      • wide_stance_hubby

        If there was a God to sort it out, I think we know what the chaff would be. Humans.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        Uh, just where do you think the FSM came from, anyway?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      . . . or the 114 lbs of lead or 225 lbs of arsenic or the 4 lbs of cadmium or the 220 tons of VOCs . . .

    • jesterpunk

      Just dump them into the river, it will be fine. Just make sure someone from your company is involved in government and you will get a small slap on the wrist.

      https://www.cbsnews.com/news/duke-energy-corporation-agrees-6-million-fine-coal-ash-spill-north-carolina/

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and make sure you live upstream

    • FlownΩver

      As always, “cleaner” = “marginally less poisonous.” Thanks, Dotard.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Let’s see how much Avista stroked me for my nice, clean, hydropower this month. . . 8-1/2 cents per kilowatt hour.

    You may keep your coal.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Mary

      Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
      On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !fe502d:
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  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Gods but I’m tired of life and tired of being afraid.

    War would be easier than this. If it were Russian tanks cresting the opposite hill I would know what to do. Instead I’m surrounded by Subhuman Christian Assholes much like my father.

    Just like everything in life I get to endure attacks, insults, threats, and SMRT Liberals just like my little brother with the shaming and the making fun of me because I am different.

    War would be preferable. There are but few whom could stand against me if this were War.

    • JohnBull

      I’m not sure if war against Russia would be preferable. Chechnya found out the hard way. And you’d have an even shadier government than the one we have now, just with different cast of characters. (No, scratch that last part.)
      But you’d have an awesome public transportation system and we’d actually get dressed up when going out in public.

    • Tishalicious

      Remember, love, who stands with you. I just wish we could be there irl….

    • Gosala

      Hang in there. You’re tougher than they are. We all know that.

      We all get tired, Mazda knows. Is there something fun you could do?

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        I made some progress on my British soldiers for Team Yankee last night. I’ll probably do more on them later today.

    • BrianW

      Hold fast, Anna. Remember that the best way to spit in the face of those people is to keep being you.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        ~hugs~

        Holding fast is the problem. It’s my nature to fight back, but as of yet I have no legitimate target.

        • BrianW

          I respectfully disagree. You’ve clearly identified the targets; the question is how to strike back.

          Think of yourself as a fleet in being. Your very presence infuriates them and makes them uncomfortable. So in one way, to strike back is to just keep being yourself. You do you, secure in the fact that by just existing you are contributing to their high blood pressure. Sure, it’s not as satisfying as sallying out and punching them in the nose, but it does you no harm while keeping them discomforted.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            ~hugs~ Thank you Brian, really. :)

          • Erala Contratista

            Besides, punching people can cause majorly awful infections in your hand joints, sprain/break your own bones and like that.
            Stick to mental images.
            Also, you will get the rare but nonetheless transcendant experience of witnessing poultry coming home to roost. Has happened to me. Just have to stay alert to watch some jackleg bite it in public.
            Still makes me grin!

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            :)

  • Jeff Ackerman

    I worked on Alaska’s north slope oil fields in the 1970’s and 1980’s. During the winter and early spring there was a 360 degree black haze on the horizon, it was from coal fired plans in eastern Europe and Russia. I was in Prudhoe Bay during March of 2000, the haze was gone then. The haze is something you need to see to believe, words don’t do it justice. I for one, don’t want to see it come back.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Russian wire transfers!
    Russia sent 60 wire transfers “to finance election campaign of 2016” — just as the US race entered its most heated phase. https://www.buzzfeed.com/jasonleopold/secret-finding-60-russian-payments-to-finance-election?s=mobile_app&utm_term=.llGKPq7Mrr#.wxLPNgRJqq

  • MynameisBlarney
  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    Three killed, shooter dead, after attack at California school – local media
    https://www.yahoo.com/news/three-killed-shooter-dead-attack-california-school-local-182238179.html

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      It’s really too soon to even talk about that happening.

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        I think the solution is to legalize mass shootings.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Talk about what happening? It’s too soon for me to listen.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Goddammit.

    • theCryptofishist

      Tehama County. Red California. Drive through it and see many signs with edifying messages like: “Farmers Feed America.” Which, is true. *sigh*

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I’ve passed through Corning a few times. I wouldn’t have guessed someone could find a way to make it worse, but here we are.

      • Erala Contratista

        Don’t forget “Congress created dust bowl” signs on I5.
        Yup, Congress gave you your Westside project so you could grow irrigated crops in a semi desert, then forgot to order up the water to make it work.
        Cry me a river, then pump it dry, like you all did to the San Joaquin.
        Pffffffftttt…..

    • 5 dead. Not sure if that includes the shooter.

  • Back in Olden Times you had to use charcoal in your aquarium filter. Not pre-packaged sterile doodads, but you literally had a bag of charcoal you used during filter cleaning time. Heaven help you and the poor little fishies if you didn’t rinse it enough – you’d have a box of black, murky water where your aquarium used to be.

  • Michael Smith

    Remember in Catch-22, when Milo bought up all that Egyptian cotton and then couldn’t sell it, so he went around trying to convince everyone that it was useful for everything, including trying to cover it in chocolate and selling it as candy? That’s like certain members of the United States business community with coal.

    • Resistor Radio

      But only Zinke gets a share?

  • WIDTAP

    OT, but speaking of people on the other side of the Pacific:

    None of the nations Trump visited pledged to launch new bilateral trade negotiations with the U.S. –while 11 countries reached an agreement while Trump was in the region to bring the Trans-Pacific Partnership into force without the United States.

    However, Trump is very please that he got several fancy dinners out of the trip:

    https://www.politico.com/story/2017/11/14/was-trump-asia-trip-a-success-244890

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      We’ll get the best deals. Believe me.

    • OrG

      Ya got ta have priorities.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      And had himself a lovely and well-deserved break from The Dishonest Media.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      with two scoops!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Trump is not happy that his Newfoundland Friend™ didn’t roll over and play dead for a treat. Well, I guess this means there’s going to be a lot of Trump fans buying Habs jerseys at a 17,000% tariff markup just so they can burn them.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      The Conspiracy Morans have been up in arms about the TPP for over a year, I guess they must be happy now, or until they realize that they fucked themselves over.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    See what happens when someone from coal scuttles away from their bubble?

    • P’jama Pahnts

      That shit might fly in the states where we have a large propaganda wing of the government, but the rest of the world ain’t fallin’ for it

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    It is almost as if the Russians have installed a Puppet Administration designed to destroy the USA from within while Republican voters all do everything they can to assist.

    • TJ Barke

      Is lie! No collusion, fellow American comrades patriots!

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Coca-Cola! Apple Pie! Baseball!

        • FlownΩver

          Heya, Joe! Who wonna Secon World War, you so smaht?

          • Cat Cafe

            It was dinnertime—IN BERLIN!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Republicans were so desperate to undo the legacy of a black man and stop a woman from ascending to the top job, that they sold out to the evil empire.

      They really are deplorable.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        They are Worthless Animals, Stupid, mean, and of no value except as examples of what not to be.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Now wait just a gosh darn minute, Anna!
          You know that’s not true.
          They hold GREAT value as never ending sources for harsh ridicule!

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            ~Fight to Keep this Land Your Own
            Sound the horn and call the cry,
            How Many of Them Can We Make Die?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            They are the bitter fuel for the magnificent Web roadster that is Wonkette.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          The one thing I wish someone would do is to sue the GOP to make them change their mascot. Maybe a class-action lawsuit by elephant sanctuaries. Elephants are gentle giants and, also too, they don’t care if another elephant is Indian, Asian, or African. Just replace it with the goddamn swastika and stop with the elephant libelz. Especially since this asshole is in the WH:

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ae5723b3b0f30b8aaf71ca737db25839d48c9115f737d8805a9e8746db050b9f.jpg

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Nah, that’s crazy talk.

    • JohnBull

      It’s like they won the Cold War after all without firing a shot (well, not at us directly).

  • TJ Barke
  • Jonny On Maui

    I had to wait to get the solar panels I wanted for my house in San Jose. The ones I wanted were made locally and were the most efficient. Why did I have to wait? Entire production runs were going to Germany.

    • TJ Barke

      If I could just get on solar power and start my grow op I’d be a happy camper.

      • SDGeoff3

        My workplace just voted to go solar. When the financial adviser republican-ly said there’d be no real returns on the investment for a long time, the boss said, the returns would be immediate, due to the effect on the
        environment, and we have a conscientious duty to do this.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      I remember flying into Munich as the sun was beginning to rise and I was seeing little sparks of light from the ground. As we got lower and the sun came up a little more I realized it was reflections from solar panels. It seemed like every building even in the smallest villages had them, including isolated farmhouses and barns.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I wonder how many F35s it would take to do that here…

  • Michael R
  • William

    Now that coal is clean and everyone is back to work we can build that wall. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6cea4e30b87680bcd97c0d7357448f368a8a91d49e47fe9824594afdfd9b7ceb.jpg

    • JohnBull

      I love that “Beer will taste better” comes from a man representing a slice of the country that takes pride in drinking shitty beer.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    OT – I was in Walmart today, and a young soldier was checking me out. He’s the first I’ve seen in Multicam BDUs, but I think he was about half my age. It was a morale boost anyway.

    • SDGeoff3

      I told you those new hair thangs were good for you!

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Also a car stopped across 2 spaces apparently to watch me walk into the store. That was kind of creepy though.

        • SDGeoff3

          Yes, that is creepy. Be careful. Not everyone is going to be that soldier.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Thank you. I’m wary at all times.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      “But”? What’s with this “but”?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Here’s looking at you… kid.

    • Daniel

      That’s the nanny state of mind.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      How do you know he’s happy? Maybe he’s being exploited.

      • MynameisBlarney

        You sir, shall not harsh my mellow.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Lance Thrustwell

      It is not! Perfection or GFTO.

      • clubseal

        Was that the tagline for Tremors 5?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Depends on the severity of the flaw. The occasional pimple, NBD. But if you’re like me and you’ve got a case of what I’ll call “Harris-Klebold Syndrome,” you’re a de facto enemy of the state. (…and a “target” customer for Smith & Wesson Laboratories.)

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    OT, but Hakeem Jeffries is clearly a muthafuckin’ litigator. That’s how you question a liar.

    https://youtu.be/5mPqN8WfddA

  • laughingnome

    Ted Lieu is rocking Jeffy

    • SDGeoff3

      Dammit. I can’t watch right now. (I’m in a staff meeting)!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    OT: It’s still impossible to literally predict earthquakes, but scientists are cautioning that the Big One in California is “on their radar” after the recent one on the Iran-Iraq border and a series of smaller rumbles near the San Andreas fault.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/san-andreas-fault-hit-by-earthquake-swarm/

    I for one would like to know who this San Andreas is, and why the earthquake is his/her fault. I was led to believe that Hillary was the one to blame for everything!

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      My BFF had a 4.5 in SoCal yesterday.

      • Arolpin

        We all go home with someone we regret in the morning. It’s kinder to refer to them as a “Gentleman’s (or Gentlewoman’s) 6”. Once you start rating someone a 4.5, you’re just being petty and it’s more a reflection of your poor choices. :)

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          I take it that’s not what “got your six” means. If you’ve got someone else’s “six” in that case… they’ll clean your clock…

          • Beelzebubba

            If you’ve got someone’s six, their clock is already in trouble.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Broken twice a day?

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            in ur base invertin ur ninez

        • Raan

          And then publishers might stop sending you review copies.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance
      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        lol, I knew that :)

        He was part of that group that included Saint John, Saint Paul, and… Saints George and Ringo?

        • Indeniable Ron

          ‘Ringo, Paul, George and John
          Bless the bed that I lay on…’

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I heard a rumor that the *really* big ‘un is gonna hit a little North of there:

      https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/07/20/the-really-big-one

    • Covfefe

      San Andreas is Messican for Saint Andrew. The earthquakes aren’t Saint Andrew’s fault. Saint Andrew is Jesus’ elf who keeps the “naughty & nice” list for California. Saint Andrew can call an earthquake In California when in his sole judgment and discretion, the naughties sufficiently outweigh the nices. You know who the naughties are.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Facebook and Twitter?

      • Proactive Cooperator

        He also invented Scotland. And golf. Prolly haggis too.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Hey, YOU try to come up with a quick snack when you’ve been drinking whiskey all night!

          • efoveks

            Wow, that really does work as a logical explanation.

    • Jeff Ackerman

      You forgot OBAMA

    • Courser_Resistance

      Uh, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s really a BAD TIME to have a natural disaster. See: Puerto Rico. The WH loathes CA, so you may not even get as much ‘support’ as they did.

      • Indeniable Ron

        ‘It’s behind a bunch of mountains. It’s really hard to get there!’

      • efoveks

        And it’s way too soon to talk about how to handle any of this better because Conservatives’ fee-fees.

        Oh, wait. That’s that other thing…

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Personally, I’m a little more worried about the Hayward Fault.

    • SeeTrain65

      “And don’t get me started on Mariana’s Trench.”

    • No one on either the East or West coasts cares.

      If they did, they’d move to the Mountains where the only danger is forest fires.

      Instead of earthquakes, tornadoes, tsunamis, mudslides, hurricanes, flooding AND forest fires.

  • JohnBull

    Wow, Europeans ruining God Bless the USA? When will we see Trumpists publicly burning their travel itineraries to London or Italy (the only places they go anyway)?

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      They don’t go to London or Italy. They speak English (and ONLY English), and chow down on meatball marinara.

      • Most of the “well travelled” Republicans I met have only travelled to Europe once.

        On company business.

        Back in the late 70’s.

        But oh, they’re experts on European countries.

  • Me not sure

    Is it a good thing that the highest ranking person in the DOJ has the memory of a three year old?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He has the memory of a three year old standing in the middle of a pile of broken dishes.

      I don’t recall any of this!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      It’s probably best if he doesn’t remember how to get around Federal anti-discrimination laws.

    • Resistor Radio

      I’m starting to wonder if he’s even obtained object permanence.

      • Me not sure

        “Where’d the fuzzy bunny go?”

    • HooverVilles

      Agree with one exception. I have a feeling that his memory is very good when the right causes are involved. ;-)

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Put On Your War Paint!

      If this *is* a Sim, the Sysops better take a *big* step back before they unhook me.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, no shit, lol.
        Like several counties back.

    • Resistor Radio

      About fucking time

  • proudgrampa

    Hi, everybody. I slept late this morning. Did I miss anything?

    Did you know that it’s the Hole Puncher’s 131st birthday?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/386d2a85c14f280aeb0fe1a4cca6e5e13db8e67d64ee2c303a457513de26ba32.gif

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I did. My wife’s paralegal told me.

      • proudgrampa

        I think it would make a fabulous holiday. And at the end, you got lots of confetti!

      • What about Repeal Day, Dec. 5? The day the 21st Amendment (repealing Prohibition) was ratified?

        http://repealday.org/

    • Resistor Radio

      Fun fact, the hole punch also remembers more about the Trump campaign talking to Russians than Jeffy does.

      • proudgrampa

        I believe it!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      BIllO was there …

    • SeeTrain65

      The legitimate media uses these things constantly, day in and day out.

      They’re punching holes in Trump’s lies left and right.

      • proudgrampa

        Cool!

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        But journalists like Amy Goodman John Oliver and Sam Bee can only do so much.

  • Ilgattomorte

    This is the same kind of reaction I got when I introduced my totally green-powered brick manufacturing system. His name is Marco. He makes bricks, cinder blocks, builds homes and even does light stucco work. Marco is totally hand-powered, so he has a low carbon footprint. As a plus, he’s only 12 years old, so you can expect him to remain in production for many years to come. I called my system “Clean Marco”. What’s not to like?

    Well, the reaction was horrible. They called it “slavery”, “barbaric”, “byzantine” and illegal. These liberals simply don’t understand that you can’t bring modern comforts to the developing world without creating discomfort in the developing world. It’s a conservative principle. It’s not unlike our previously successful, “Healthy Forests Initiative”. That’s where we preserved the health of our forests by cutting down a shit-load of trees. Programs like “Clean Coal” and “Clean Marco” work on the same principle as that terrific initiative, except instead of trees, we use up people.

    When you see it from that perspective, you’ll see our ideas aren’t “uncivilized”, “barbaric” or “archaic”, they’re just conservative. Now isn’t that better?

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks for making me smile, Dok, even if it was fleeting.

  • Khavrinen

    “Peabody Coal, which the Guardian notes has been a very active funder of climate denial groups”

    I often wonder what might have happened if all the Ameros fossil fuel executives paid to “scientists” to make up lies about the “climate change hoax” had been spent on actually trying to fix their problems instead of denying them out of existence.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Life would be better for millions of people, but a few thousand rich people would have less accumulated wealth.

  • aureolaborealis
    • The Republicans he voted for will make sure that his health insurance won’t cover the black lung or lung cancer he gets.

    • Erala Contratista

      Efficient Darwin proof, there.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Not really. He’s probably had 6 kids with his cousin so he has already peed in the gene pool.

    • HooverVilles

      His insurance company needs to have a copy of this for reference when he tried to file a claim to “fix” his lungs.
      Pre-existing?

    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      Alabama evangelical voter?

    • Sy Colepath

      Breath deeply, dumbass.

  • btwbfdimho
    • Indeniable Ron

      I’m a little embarrassed at how high Canada is – we’re below the US but match it pretty well. However, I blame the climate (sooner or later SOMEBODY has to supply heat) and the fact that we’re spread out so thinly that travel by car is often the only alternative.
      But I take heart in noting that the trend is downward. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a66c4c0e2cc3a5151b4dee52f9662a0e53fade2690351b2a9d24843dbe21ba7a.png

      • efoveks

        Thank God ‘Muricans travel to Canada on the regular or you guys might even be further behind us.

        Winning! Also, MAGA! cuz we beat you. ;P

        (I’ve been drinking…)

        • Indeniable Ron

          By all means, keep it up!

          • efoveks

            If you mean the drinking, then yes I am :)

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Not defending the US here. We have a critical (possibly, the most important) role to play in reducing carbon emissions.

      But the graphic is misleading at best. There is not such a huge gap between the US and many other countries. For example, Western Europe is much higher than depicted (it is lumped in with Eastern Europe and Central Asia, which pulls it way down)

      Moreover, while it is instructive to see the Emissions per capita, it is also essential to look at the Total emissions load per country. Both views give necessary insight.

  • btwbfdimho
    • Cliff Hendroval

      I’ve seen similar stickers on other trucks as well. I dunno, I kind of like not spending half my paycheck at the gas pump.

    • SeeTrain65

      He must enjoy the sight of middle fingers.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud
        • Dudleydidwrong

          I’m sure she made a similar T-shirt for her 10-year-old daughter. Family values includes all in the family.

        • SeeTrain65

          I DON’T SEE HER IN A FUCKING TRUCK.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            Congratulations, you are correct! She is not in a fucking truck in that photo. However, she is “this fucking oblivious”.

          • SeeTrain65

            Congratulations. YOUR POINT WAS STILL NOT MINE.

    • phoenix00

      More deplorable dimwits thinking their entire lives are defined by making liberals cringe.

      While actual liberals laugh at them for their dimwittedness.

      • As someone who gets (almost) 100% of my home’s electricity from solar and wind…

        I always taunt my Republican co-workers about how smart they are for paying the utility bill every month and how dumb I am because I get it FREE from the sun and wind. 🤣
        https://media0.giphy.com/media/12N9oPAlLIt5Mk/200_d.gif#94

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Gas at $3.50 a gallon is “dumbass who fucks up his truck” repellant.

  • Indeniable Ron

    Everybody noticed that the countries the coal people were trying to influence were all countries that would need to IMPORT the coal, right? Probably from some place that, I dunno, might not have as many customers as they used to?

    • Robyn Ryan

      Russia is scrambling for oil customers.
      Thats why they installed Trump and Republicans.

  • David Chaillou

    What I find really weird is that renewable energy, with their small, local production units, literally give power back to individual and small communities, as opposed to depending on big corps and governmental infrastructure. So YTF are conservatives and libertarians not rooting for them?

    • efoveks

      Because it denies would-be coal miners the opportunity to have a truly shitty, miserable job in the energy sector???

      • I was trying to explain to a friend last night why Republicans don’t want FREE solar panels installed on their roofs by companies who share the MONTHLY REVENUE STREAM of selling the electricity back into the grid…

        It’s all about APPEARANCES.

        Solar panels on their roofs would make them look like THEY GAVE A DAMN ABOUT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING OTHER THAN THEMSELVES. ✓

        • Robyn Ryan

          Unlike miles of wire and power poles waiting to be destroyed in the next disaster.
          No grid, no energy corporations.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Libertarians don’t give a fuck about anyone but themselves. They want to have everything that being in a society has to offer but don’t want to pay for any of it.

      As for modern conservatives, they want you dependent on large corporations. It raises the profit margins.

  • CATMAN

    I did some work for a “clean coal” project back in the 90’s and it was a scam back then and it is still a scam today. Clean coal is like safe cigarettes, just another diversion to cover up the inherent harm that both inflict

  • YaJagoff

    Clean coal an oxymoron if there ever was one

  • Scott Phillips

    trumps idea of pulling out of the Climate Accord- get a better deal selling them coal.
    Wrong-headed, short-sighted, flat-footed.
    He really does hate America.

  • Querolous
  • Clean coal is like hitting yourself with a smaller hammer.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/dxJ0jmXBitv4Q/giphy.gif

  • Mary

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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