So fucking stupid

Oh fudge, Donald Trump Jr. has gotten his finger stuck in all the Russians’ butts again. As we’ve learned about Russian interference in the 2016 election, one of the things Russians did throughout was employ cut-outs and go-betweens to target weak and stupid members of the Trump team. They gave Carter Page a tonguebath because he is such a scholarly good boy who loves Russia, and they poked around all kinds of other Trump idiots, making vague promises of delivering unto the Trump campaign the mythological 33,000 deleted emails from Hillary Clinton’s Benghazi server, because those nonexistent emails are like barbecue-flavored opioids to Trump idiots.

They came to Donald Trump Jr. promising sweet delicious dirt on Hillary and the DNC, if only he could take a meeting with a Russian lawyer and a bunch of Russian spies in Trump Tower. (“If it’s what you say, I love it!” said Junior, who yearns for his father’s approval.) And it turns out they used Julian Assange at WikiLeaks, who has long been identified by American intelligence services as a Russian cut-out, who sent Junior private sexts on Twitter all through 2016, including after it was publicly known that WikiLeaks was a Russian front.

Julia Ioffe broke the story at The Atlantic, and it is wow:

Just before the stroke of midnight on September 20, 2016, at the height of last year’s presidential election, the WikiLeaks Twitter account sent a private direct message to Donald Trump Jr., the Republican nominee’s oldest son and campaign surrogate. “A PAC run anti-Trump site is about to launch,” WikiLeaks wrote. “The PAC is a recycled pro-Iraq war PAC. We have guessed the password. It is ‘putintrump.’ See ‘About’ for who is behind it. Any comments?”

Ooh! This was almost as exciting as that one time Junior had a wet dream about what it would like to be to have a regular human face! He replied the next morning that he would “ask around,” and he did:

According to a source familiar with the congressional investigations into Russian interference with the 2016 campaign, who requested anonymity because the investigation is ongoing, on the same day that Trump Jr. received the first message from WikiLeaks, he emailed other senior officials with the Trump campaign, including Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, Brad Parscale, and Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner, telling them WikiLeaks had made contact. Kushner then forwarded the email to campaign communications staffer Hope Hicks.

That is exactly what you are supposed to do when a known Russian intelligence front is poking you for information. Rule number one: DO NOT CALL FBI. Rule number two: EMAIL EVERYBODY YOU HAVE EVER MET.

Junior tweeted out his dirty private WikiLeaks sexts Monday night, just like he did when the email chain about his Russian Trump Tower big boy grown-up spy meeting was about to come out. God bless, he is stupid. He emphasizes that he only replied to Assange three “whopping” times, and exhibits an Alanis Morissette level of understanding of the word “ironic”:

We should note that Junior’s lack of responses after a certain point doesn’t mean he wasn’t reading and taking instructions. It certainly appears, according to the timeline of events reported by Ioffe, that he was! Since dipshit tweeted them out anyway, let’s just look at the original source. This happened on October 3, 2016:

LOL at Junior begging for the scoop on the big Wednesday WikiLeaks drop. He’s referring to how Roger Stone famously tweeted that on the very next Wednesday, Hillary Clinton would be “done,” on account of WikiLeaks. Li’l Donny didn’t know about it because nobody tells him anything. :(

As Think Progress notes, just four days later Homeland Security and the DNI released “a joint statement publicly accusing WikiLeaks of being a Kremlin front.”

Think Progress also notes that in the last month of the campaign, Trump talked about WikiLeaks 164 TIMES. It appears Assange noticed! From October 12, 2016:

No fun, Junior didn’t respond to that one! But Ioffe notes that something DID happen, just 15 minutes later:

15 minutes after it was sent, as The Wall Street Journal’s Byron Tau pointed out, Donald Trump himself tweeted, “Very little pick-up by the dishonest media of incredible information provided by WikiLeaks. So dishonest! Rigged system!”

That’s a pretty efficient reach-around right there, during a time period where the campaign absolutely should have known they were dealing with the Russians when they did the bidding of WikiLeaks. As Ioffe notes, Junior tweeted the nice link WikiLeaks secretly sexted him a couple days later, on the 14th:

HMMMMM, wonder if anything else happened October 14, 2016? Oh, look, here is Mike Pence on Fox News that very morning denying the Trump campaign is in “cahoots” with WikiLeaks, on the very same morning Junior was doing XXX CAHOOTS with WikiLeaks in his private Twitter messages:

This prompted the chyron writer on “Morning Joe” to say fuck it and go full Wonkette on Tuesday morning:

Anything else? Sure! Here’s WikiLeaks suggesting on October 21 that Junior give them one of his Daddy’s tax returns, partially because it would help Assange keep up the ruse that WikiLeaks was impartial in the 2016 election and not colluding with the Trump campaign:

And here’s WikiLeaks helpfully suggesting to Junior on election day that if his dad “loses,” he should not “conceed”:

Also, they wanted Donald Trump to try to convince Australia to nominate Assange as ambassador to the US. Totally a reasonable thank-you for all the help he gave the campaign, right? Assange also sexted when Junior’s Russian meeting came out in the press, with a helpful suggestion:

The message was sent at 9:29 am on July 11. Trump Jr. did not respond, but just hours later, he posted the emails himself, on his own Twitter feed.

He sure did! Junior seemed to get quite a lot of ideas from his private messages with WikiLeaks, regardless of whether he actually responded.

But wait, we are confused. Doesn’t Attorney General Jeff Sessions want to put WikiLeaks IN JAIL? Doesn’t CIA Director Mike Pompeo say WikiLeaks is a “hostile intelligence service” that does Russia’s bidding and that Assange probably would have been a Nazi if this was the 1930s? HE DOES.

Wonder how they’ll react to these revelations!

In summary, Junior did another wet Russian shit in his diaper and Robert Mueller has a whole bunch of new material for his investigation, assuming he didn’t have this already.

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  • The imbecile doesn’t fall far from the stupid orange moron tree.

    • kareemachan

      He’s definitely a nidiot.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Cahoots? More like Canoodling.

  • armed_bears

    Judiciary chairman hints at dissatisfaction with Sessions
    Judiciary Chairman Bob Goodlatte (R-Va.) zeroed in on his demands for a second special counsel in the first five minutes of a hotly-anticipated oversight hearing with Attorney General Jeff Sessions on Tuesday morning.

    • armed_bears

      ‘ cause, sure.. .why not.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Goodlatte is an utter sack of shit, so this is not surprising.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Badcovffee is more like it.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        He’s another one running for the hills next year.

  • James Baskin

    Coinkeedinkesez? I think not.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Here’s what really matters. Hillary’s emails. Elf Sessions is on the Hill, right now, getting all soft in the middle about emails, and special prosecutors for democrats who lost the last election by winning the popular vote. Which they are also investigating.

    What world.

    • laughingnome

      Who needs a Reichstag fire when you can just go fascist without too much of a fuss?

    • Walter Wellstone

      Is Al Franken there to rip a new one on that discontinued garden gnome?

      • canes_pugnaces

        House, not Senate.

  • Indiepalin

    I like riding with Junior in the limo when he’s gets stuck in a traffic jam when he’s already late to begin with!

  • Walter Wellstone

    Don Jr. is a second-rate douchebag. He wouldn’t even make it as an extra on Entourage.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    This is the current face of the USA: clueless, dumb, spiteful, grifting trolls, without scruple, self-awareness or any kind of plan.

    They won’t be happy until we’re all as dead inside as they are. And even then they won’t be happy.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Between that and possibly electing a child molester, I’m just a damn proud American.

  • Joshua Norton

    He emphasizes that he only replied to Assange three “whopping” times

    Kind of like saying he only robbed 3 lousy 7-11’s so it’s really no big deal.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “I didn’t clear $150 on any of them, so it’s just petty larceny.”

  • MynameisBlarney

    Shit…shoulda waited to post this on this thread.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Hey Junior, need some more rope? No? Got enough?

  • Major_Major_Major

    I’m a hit myself in the dick with a ball peen hammer, that’ll trigger those stupid libs-DJTJR

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Right in the peen and balls!

  • Joshua Norton

    TWITTER, 2009: this is neat, Kim Kardashian responds to her fans and stuff!

    TWITTER, 2017: the demented president’s idiot spawn is live-tweeting treason.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))


    • jesterpunk

      “I dont know him, never met him before he isnt involved in my campaign or anything”

      Trump talking about Jr.

      • Joshua Norton

        He only went out for coffee a few times.

        • Roadstergal

          I would believe that about Junior, actually. “I did treason with the Russians to get you elected! Now do you love me, daddy??”

          • Daniel

            “Which one are you? Brandon?”
            “It’s Bannon, daddy.”
            “No, he was… I remember that guy. Bits of him used to stay on the chairs when he left the room.”

        • OneYieldRegular

          “This guy, whoever he is, does he even look like me? You know I was divorced twice, so who knows where he came from.”

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Hopefully there’s no “Twitter, 2018”. Shut that motherfucker down.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    No one, ever again, is going to mistake Uday for “the smart one”.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      At the risk of libelz of the men I respect most in American history, most of the great comedy teams worked like this. They are usually both/all stupid, one or two obviously and honestly so, and one who seems slightly smarter but is actually all the more stupid for it. At best, maybe we thought Jared was Moe when he has been Larry the whole time. Or perhaps he’s still Moe and this one is Shemp.

      • aureolaborealis

        Are you saying that Teller is the smart one? Because I can get on board with that.

  • FlemmishSpy

    Only three messages = Light treason.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))


    • Daniel

      “You can’t try an American and and Australian for the same crime.”

    • FlownΩver

      The political/criminal version of “just the tip.”

  • When Donald Trump Jr grows up, he wants to be just like Mommy…

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Why did Wikileaks think that Trump could help get Assange nominated as Australian Ambassador to the US? Australian Ambassadors are career diplomats. Assange must be going stir crazy stuck in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London.

    • FlemmishSpy

      He’s grown fond of embassy life.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Ambassador to ‘Stralia would be a perfect gig – he’s on his home turf and he has diplomatic immunity.

    • Daniel

      I just want this point made really, really clear:

      Julian Assange wanted to be made ambassador to Australia so he could safely leave London with diplomatic immunity.


      The last time we did that we were somehow “monsters”.

      • marxalot

        Well, it is the traditional reason for transportation there!

  • MynameisBlarney

    Saaaaaaay…..remember those 53 pastors from Ala-FUCKIN-bammy that enthusiastically endorsed Roy (banned from mall for trolling teens just RECENTLY) Moore like yesterday?

    Well….about that…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Sorry, Donny, but Daddy likes Jared more.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “my whopping free responses”

    Everything with the Trump family is a whopper.

  • marxalot

    These people are so bad at this. Hell, if I’d known that all you needed was a lot of hairgel and about 23M$ to bamboozle the intellegence agencies, thwart the rule of law, and overthrow this fucking country, I’d have started internet day trading years ago! So much for all that political education and fieldcraft, just get a fucking smartphone!

  • fawkedifiknow

    Don Jr. has the unfortunate advantage that on Halloween he doesn’t have to put on a mask or makeup to look like Dracula.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I thought vampires were supposed to be seductive?

      • marxalot

        Not all of them. I mean, Nosferatu. And Don-Don most resembles the bug-eating thrall who’s trying to get into Dracula’s good graces.

  • spangled

    yo glennjamin greenwald – come collect your buddy! julian assange is just so impartial, such a good guy, not at all a total idiot.

    • Meccalopolis

      they got high on their own supply

    • kaydenpat

      I wonder how Greenwald is going to spin himself out of his kissing fests with Bowtie Carlson. He has been such a huge disappointment with all his attempts to defend Putin.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Wikileaks. I love that name. I don’t know why. It just appeals to me on some level.”
    — Donald Trump

    • BreakingDeadMen

      OMG, I never thought of that. LOL!

    • kaydenpat

      That’s deep!

  • OrG

    Which one’s the smart one again?

    HAHA! Just kidding. NOT,K!

    • kaydenpat

      Tiffany? She’s kind of kept out of the public eye.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Barron’s the expert, also, too.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • FlemmishSpy

      Where’s muh diet coke?

    • The Wanderer

      Never mind the guy – look at that deliciousness on the spit!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      HEY! The 400 pound guy got out of his mom’s basement.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I sure do hope he does not suffocate in his own damn face before he eats all of that and has a heart attack.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Nothin’ wrong with this feller. Personally I wouldn’t trust that bbq if the cook wasn’t at least a little on the hefty side.

    • unionthuggery

      There’s no guarantee that this is a Trump voter. Where’s the maga hat? This could very well be a 3rd or 4th generation FDR democrat.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        This could very well be have eaten a 3rd or 4th generation FDR democrat.

        • theCryptofishist

          D’oh, you’ve given away the ending of Fried Green Tomatoes!

    • aureolaborealis

      “You’re super fat. You know what tastes good. Hook that shit up!”
      — Tom Segura

  • It would be ironic if the someone in the congressional investigation leaked a document while investigating leaks. They are investigating Russian collusion in the 2016 presidential election.

    The rating is: eleven millionty ALANISES!!!!!1!!!1

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Has the Russian embassy moved into the West Wing yet?

    • Rags

      About a year ago

  • Roadstergal

    Republicans don’t care.

  • Belasaurius

    Trumpkins won’t care. You could video of Donnie blowing Putin and they wouldn’t care. They’ll just bring up Killary and go back to hating on the gheys and brown people who took all the neurologist jobs away from Bubba and Tiny Joe.

    • kaydenpat

      Trumpkins won’t matter if the Democrats take back Congress. Trump will be finished at that point and we have a good chance of overtaking Republicans despite gerrymandering next November. By then, Mueller would have wrapped up his investigation and Democrats will have all the ammunition they need.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I wish they had enough of a spine to disband the whole GOP and fumigate it. This country needs a massive de-Nazification process.

        • unionthuggery

          I’m afraid removing Nazis form the Republican party will be quite the long term process.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Rome wasn’t built in a day. I don’t care how long it takes. It needs to happen. Even if other countries have to intervene — well, rather like we did with Germany. Full circle.

    • 68 Million Russian cutouts. The stench of Treason is nauseating.

  • KnaveOfSwords

    And Pence seems to be aiming for criminal negligence charges rather than co-conspirator.

    Really. Let’s be generous here and assume that when he first started insisting that there was no collusion, he really didn’t know of any. I’m not quite sure we could excuse him providing cover for the entire campaign, transition team, and administration on his ignorance, but we’re being generous here, so let’s allow it.

    If this had been a one-off question, leaving it at that might have been acceptable. But in his position, when these questions kept coming (and especially when there started being evidence that some of the people were lying about their lack of collusion), he had an obligation to actually look into this shit because either the entire fucking world is getting together to make up shit to make the administration look like it’s colluding with Russia, the entire administration is traitors and he needs to do his part to put them all in jail, or Donny’s a moron who accidentally hired a bunch of traitors and needs to be protected from his traitor underlings by exposing them and shipping them off to jail.

    But you know what, let’s be generous again, and assume that Pence did, in fact, look into this.

    If he still didn’t realize there’s something going on, he deserves a prize for being the stupidest person in this entire confederacy of dunces. Part of why this is falling apart so quickly is that they’re shit at lying. They tell lies that are easily disproven with even a cursory investigation. You ask about the same thing twice and get 3 different –
    and contradictory – answers. A one-question survey “Did you do treason with Russia to win the election? Y/N” would have gotten back answers from this group that should have let him know that there was a problem.

    And yet, Pence still, to hear him tell it, knew nothing and suspected nothing.

    • kaydenpat

      Pence messed up Flynn’s vetting which should be enough to keep him out of the Presidency should Trump be impeached or otherwise kicked out of office.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Steve Schmidt is a really smart guy and people are going to be talking about him more and more, believe me. Here he is laying the smackdown on Pence, who he calls a “titanic fraud” for lying about Russia:

        • kaydenpat

          Good on Schmidt for calling out Pence. They all need to be brought down. Pence can go play clueless back in Indiana.

          • Edith Prickly

            As I recall, Pence was about as popular as bubonic plague in Indiana before Trump offered him the VP spot. If we’re lucky he’ll never be heard from again if he gets sent home.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            As I recall, Chris Christie had the lock on the VP position until Paul Manafort “engineered” an aeronautic issue that kept Trump’s plane on the ground an extra day in Indiana so Pence could get in some quality analingus time.

            We know Trump wasn’t paying Manafort, and, now, thanks to the indictments, we have a pretty good idea who was picking up the tab.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Mike Dense is, of course, a titanic fraud . . . but I really do think he is, yes, that stupid. A child could beat him at checkers. He ought to be a bigger joke than he is – his picture is in the dictionary under “bless his heart.”

        • Edith Prickly

          Mmmm…Schmidt is still the guy who foisted Snowbilly Sarah Palin on the world. I can’t get past that.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Schmidt’s full-throated attack on the Trump administration coming from a member of the Republican establishment has earned him a lot of kudos from me. After unleashing Sarah Palin on the country, he admitted he’d made a mistake when he realized that.

          If we ever get back to a point where the people across the aisle are the loyal opposition, I want Republicans like Steve Schmidt over there. They won’t be willing to burn the whole place down just to prove they’re right.

    • The Wanderer

      He makes Clouseau look like Holmes – Mycroft, not Sherlock.

    • theCryptofishist

      If Mother were like Marilyn Quayle, he’d be president by now.

  • Scooby

    Is Jr. claiming that other than tweets there is no way to communicate with Wikileaks?

    • Daniel

      He tried smoke signals but he ended up setting fire to his heir.

      • OneYieldRegular

        He tried smoke signals but after destroying three phones in the process he realized you can’t burn tweets.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Their fax machine was down.

      • Daniel

        He’s not allowed to use mirrors to signal in case he learns his true nature.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        A dead drop sounded too scary…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He thought he needed a security clearance to run a classified ad…

  • ManchuCandidate

    Looks someone made a huge mistake. And it sounds like they will probably putting the guy in the $6000 shitty suit into the slammer for being a witless dummy and for ‘light’ treason.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I hope it was worth it, Don Jr.! The only porn I can get here at the Ecuadorian Embassy is a few Spanish language VHS tapes from the ’70s. It’s a real sacrifice!”
    — Julian Assange

    • FlemmishSpy

      Que lastima.

  • spangled

    are these twitter DMs more or less embarassing than assange’s fake “verified” blue diamond emoji? discuss.
    god, what a weaselly pathetic little moron.

  • kaydenpat

    Can’t wait for Donny Jr.’s perp walk. The entire lot of them need to be put in jail.

    • Daniel

      Derp walk, surely?

      • docterry6973

        No one important ever goes to prison. The Trumps will walk away and some clerk will go to jail for a few months.

        • kaydenpat

          How many Nixon folks went to prison? Quite a few of them if I recollect correctly.

        • Daniel

          Trump himself won’t go to gaol, but I think he’d send his kids there if it looked like it would buy his own freedom.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Send them? If it saves his skeevy orange ass he’ll happily drag them to their cells himself.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            And disinherit them. Tiffany and Barron get everything!

          • Indeniable Ron

            – DJT

    • OrG

      Frog 🐸 March!

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Feels good, man!

      • Covfefe

        Turtle march! I’m sure.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      They can put Melania in charge of Leavenworth tours.

      • kaydenpat

        If she isn’t deported.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Deportment is all she has

    • jellysblues

      I hope the cops aren’t too nice and protect his head when they put him in the back of the car.

  • docterry6973

    Turns out Donald Trump isn’t even the dumbest person named Donald Trump.

    Stolen from Twitter.

    • kaydenpat

      When does Donald Sr. claim that he has no connection to and has never heard of Donald Jr? Trump is only loyal to Trump after all.

      • Little Lulu Ω

        At some point he’ll ask to see his birth certificate.

        • Mary

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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        • Lou

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineEasyStoreTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!da186l

    • Weird Fishes

      Yes but it’s an exciting race to the bottom.

      • Ill-Advised

        Great sound effects all the way down.

  • docterry6973

    Pence can’t hear a thing. They keep him in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnalls’ porch.


    • Latverian Diplomat

      How can you tell if Pence is in a mayonnaise jar or not?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Schrodinger’s White Guy?

      • Doug Langley

        You ask him if he’s . . . dressing?

  • Covfefe

    If I say “cut-outs and go-betweens” should be “cuts-out and goes-between,” does that make me even worse than an English major? Or even worser than that?

    • Crank Tango

      What’s worser than worser? Anyway, that.

      • OutOfOrbit

        i think worser is the worstest, purty sure, i guess

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Worcester even than unthawing, irregardless of the fact.

          • OutOfOrbit

            my hat’s off to you, you one-upper, you

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Contact your local attorneys-general for the answer.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Unless any of them are your brothers- or sisters-in-law.

        • insolenttomato

          Ugh. I need a couple gins-and-tonic about now.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Round here we call that a ‘double.’

    • theCryptofishist

      “Goes” isn’t a plural, because “go” isn’t noun. Of course, I seem to be bucking the Wonkette trend here…

    • Querolous

      Sportsball games would be much faster if it weren’t for all the times-out

    • Ill-Advised

      The worsist. Which means the best.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    So, President Paul Ryan is what you’re saying. *shudder*

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Probably. There’s too much gerrymandering and too many hateful morons in this country to ever get a Democratic majority in the House again.

      • theCryptofishist

        But the republicans are so fucking incompetent… Maybe 50 years, when the current voting generation dies out?

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Yay! We’ll never pay taxes again!!!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    A whopping three messages from Junior. How many of those three were to the FBI saying, “Hey, the Russians are trying to interfere with this stuff?”

    • kaydenpat


      • Covfefe

        Silly, Those emails went to NSA.

  • Covfefe

    If Assange is appointed an ambassador, he has diplomatic immunity and can walk out of the Ecuadorian Embassy.

    • I’m not so sure Diplomatic Immunity covers crimes prior to becoming a Diplomat?!?!

      • Indeniable Ron

        Once the SCOTUS was packed sufficiently to the right, this issue would most likely just evaporate.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Meh. He’s technically only in there to avoid the consequences of skipping bail on a charge that no longer exists. Can’t imagine that’d be so awful a punishment that holing up for five years in the embassy with no end in sight is preferable. Of course, the reason he went in there in the first place was to avoid extradition to the US. One might think that if you could get yourself an Ambassadorship, you could keep the indictment for publishing classified info at bay. At the very least, it would look bad for the same administration to prosecute.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Jeffy is impressive, in his own way. The ability to stick your foot in your mouth and then shoot yourself in said foot, while simultaneously stepping on your own dick is a truly rare one.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      That’s how they do the Hokey Pokey down South.

      Well, the solo version, without 14-year-old slutty mallrats.

  • Ricky Gay

    The Gang that couldn’t shit straight

    • Indeniable Ron

      Very apropos. Well done.

  • Weird Fishes

    Every so often I think back to a simpler time – say…2014 – when I didn’t know what Bronzo the Malignant’s loathsome brood looked like, or how effortlessly and indescribably stupid, or how comically pathetic the lot of them are.

    Boy, I miss those days.

    • theCryptofishist

      “Bronzo the Malignant”… I like it.

      • Weird Fishes

        Please, feel free. Be my guest.

  • Mavenmaven

    A party that defends child abuse is not going to get riled up by a little treason. What matters is sticking it to the black people, the gays, and their ‘liberal’ supporters.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Don’t forget the undeserving poorz who want “free shit”.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      An entire party that runs solely on entitlement and spite

    • Me not sure

      Russian collusion, child abuse, and racism is akin to winning the trifecta in that world.

    • Zyxomma

      And women, the poor, Jews, Muslims, and old people. And children who have been born.

    • Edith Prickly

      And sending all the illeegallz back to Mexico, even if they aren’t from there.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      That’s what The Base wants. With these guys in DC, I think it’s just about winning. They’ll look the other way for anything and everything if you’re a reliable Republican vote.

  • Doug Langley

    Jesus. It’s like watching Watergate and discovering Checkers was involved in the cover-up.

    • Checkers was smarter

      • Doug Langley

        He knew to keep his mouth shut.

      • theCryptofishist

        But what about that republican cloth coat?

    • Me not sure

      He was controlled by high-frequency dog whistles that couldn’t be picked up by the White House recording system.

    • Bigby

      Oh, come now, Checkers died long before Watergate, you’re thinking of King Timahoe…who accidentally chewed a single reel to reel tape in 1972. Bad dog!

      • Pfft. You believe that Checkers “died?”

        • LucindathePook

          I thought HIllz killed Checkers.

    • ImGoingBacon

      Mrs. Respectable Republican Cloth Coat on line one.

  • tihond

    Isn’t it kind of embarrassing to be Julian Assange and have the world realize even DTJr thinks he’s too cool then to say more than three things to you?

  • For the cherry on top of this shit sundae (“we’ll call it ‘chocolate ice cream’, the dumb fucks we’re pandering to won’t know the difference”) you have to read ASSange’s “take” on this where the boy is spinning like a Merry-go-round (A “Twit-a-whirl”?)

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    “if your father ‘loses’ we think it is much more interesting if he DOES NOT conceed…”

    Sounds like they were producing a reality TV show. Goddamn it they WERE producing a reality TV show. They even hired a reality TV star to host! Double goddamn fucking shit, they ARE STILL producing a fucking reality TV show.

  • unclejeems

    Remind me–is this one Beavis or is he Butthead? I think Butthead is the better fit.

  • theCryptofishist

    If only Jr. had paid attention, he would have known that when you get into bed with wikileaks, you wake up fucked.

  • Red Bird

    Despite all of this they’re still in office.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Gonna need dynamite to pry them out.

  • CaliCheeseSucks

    Fucking traitors, every last one of them.

  • Duke

    I think we’re on the first round of lies. Again.

  • keinsignal

    This particular story rocketed past mere absurdity from day one with the “hey, your dad should make Assange an ambassador” thing. Did anybody think that was seriously a possibility, on either side?

    These messages are too good to be real. Not saying they’re necessarily fake – hopefully The Atlantic’s done its due diligence. But these things read like just line after line of “HEY DUDE WE SHOULD DO SOME HIGH CRIMES. SPECIFICALLY,…” Like a cross between broheim braggadocio and a Bond villain expounding at length on his evil plans while he warms up the laser cannon.

  • I propose a choose your own adventure novel: YOU ARE DONALD TRUMP JR. Every ending is bad

  • Edith Prickly

    Junior certainly is a chip off the old dried turd. He thinks he can bullshit his way out of anything, just like the old man.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I must say, it’s fun to watch Rachel get really, really, really excited about this stuff when she’s going over it.

  • Ducksworthy

    BINGO! Donnie wins the November 2017 Treason Trophy

  • SeeTrain65

    Dear Bob Mueller:

    Avoid the Christmas Rush. Arrest them all now.

  • BearGHAZI

    Leave the poor kid alone!!

  • Keith Taylor

    I had believed it was only when Donald Junior posted that image of his father as a magnificently built superhero with a large T on his chest and a patriarchal beard to rival that of Charlton Heston as Moses, that he became “Dumbest Trump Offspring” in Eric’s place. Clearly I didn’t know enough. Donald Junior gained the title earlier than that.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Dumb idiot proves how stupidly dumb and moronic he is, by implicating everyone in a scandal.


    (The J stands for Jerkwad)

  • moeman

    Has he eaten all his daughter’s socialist halloween candy yet? POS.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    This is the picture accidentally taken of Junior at the exact instant when he realized (earlier this year) that there was a magical connection between the switch on the wall being moved by Ivanka and the light coming on in the fixture over the table in the kitchen.

    • Mike Steele

      see also: iconic startled hamster (or whatever) w/da-da-DAAAAH background.

  • dshwa

    “Barbeque flavored opiods”

    You honestly haven’t lived until you’ve had mesquite heroin. Just sayin’

  • McHitler

    So reading through the messages it appears that Wikileaks isn’t collude with the Trump campaign so much as they are using the campaign as a means to expose corrupt practices. Other than speculation of Wikileaks’ credibility there isn’t much to be worried about here.

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