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Perhaps you are a normal person in America, by which we mean you are a man and you are white. (All other permutations of “human” are merely walking, whining “identity politics.”) Maybe you have innocently hounded women out of your industry after they were bitches who didn’t fuck ya, or accidentally raped someone you work with. And now, all of a sudden, all these feminazis are wanting your precious bodily fluids! But the precious bodily fluids they want are “your blood” instead of the sperms you would have happily shared on them, or the nearest potted plant.

Maybe you have even lost your job, even though you have a family (even a wife!) to support. Well, buck up. Because Mel Gibson is starring in a blockbuster Hollywood Christmas comedy, about family, and Christmas!

“Mel Gibson, I remember him!” you are saying, “he did ‘locker room talk’ about a female officer’s ‘sugar tits’. Hilarious! And also something about ‘The Jews.'”

He did indeed, and we all had a good laugh about it. Oh, Jews! Oh Sugar Tits! LOLOLOLOL. Then he beat his girlfriend a lot, knocking out her teeth, while she was holding their daughter. Here he is screaming at her that he hopes she get raped by a pack of n—rs because her breasts are too big and he does not like it:

And here he is being a terrifying lunatic and admitting he beat her face in.

Marky Mark Wahlberg also stars in the movie, and he also has a violent racist past, having beat a Vietnamese man unto blindness, but he was a teenager, so we cut him some slack because teenagers have not formed all their brains yet, but WHOOPS, it turns out he did many more racist violences — many of them — including hitting little black girls in their heads with rocks when he was 16.

Whatcha doing, Will Ferrell and John Lithgow and Paramount Pictures? Oh, nothing out of the ordinary. That’s … actually, that’s really a shame.

But what a relief, everything’s back to normal and coming up white men.

$
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  • Msgr_MΩment

    I’m willing to watch this film, but only under heavy sedation and for a shit-ton of rubles.
    /call me

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I kind of enjoyed “The Santa Clause,” watching it with my kids, before I knew what dick Tim Allen is. :(

  • MynameisBlarney

    This looks as watchable as all those Tim Allen Santa movies.
    And by watchable, I mean, fuckin horrible wastes of celluloid.

    • tza

      And it’s a sequel of a movie that also looked that way, to boot!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Fan-fuckin-tastic!

        • tza

          Urgh, I know. Now after “doofy stepdad tries to make stepkids love him as much as they love their badboy bio dad” we have “doofy stepdad and badboy bio dad are buds now, but badboy’s edgy dad reminds him of machismo while doof’s utterly weirdo dad makes him looks even more weaksauce in front of everyone so we can have another macho vs. milquetoast fight.”

  • tza

    I’m still stunned it got a sequel. The first one looked SO FULL OF CRINGE from the trailer. What with Will playing the weird, wimpy stepdad who wants to compete with the bio dad because of course you have to compete for who the kids love more and just the sheer bleh of it all.

    • JMP

      Remember when Will Ferrell used to be funny, and wasn’t just taking whatever lazy crap he was offered a paycheck for?

      • Caepan

        Actually, no. I cannot remember a single time when Will Ferrell made me laugh.

        I mean, even mocking Dubya for being a fucking clueless shitheel is like shooting fish in a barrel.

        • Antonin Dvorak

          You didn’t like Anchorman?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I so agree with this. I saw a list once of the “top 100” funniest comedies and someone had obviously made it so they could blow Will Ferrell, because every. single. one. of the top ten were his. No. Just, fuck off, no. He’s never made me laugh. I may have smiled a time or two.

      • tza

        Vaguely, I may be a bit young and a bit more into animation than live action to have noticed.

  • Ling Ling

    I wouldn’t even watch this as anime.

    • Raan

      If I had a kid, and that kid were in a school play version of this, I still wouldn’t watch it.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    What in the name of God made people think Daddy’s Home deserved a sequel?

    Per Wikipedia:

    Daddy’s Home grossed $150.4 million in North America and $92.4 million in other territories for a worldwide total of $242.8 million, against a budget of $69 million.

    Oh. Right. They need more piles of money to sleep on.

    • I haven’t seen the first one, and so watching the sequel is not on my plans either.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Thor: Ragnarok (seen it) and Justice League are the only two movies on my dance card right now.

    • Michael Smith

      When I saw a preview for this, (I didn’t know Gibson was going to be in it) I starting coming to the sad realization that maybe Will Ferrell is becoming Adam Sandler.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        “Becoming”?

        • Michael Smith

          Maybe I’m just becoming old.

        • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

          Adam Sandler has bad taste. Will Ferrell has no taste, good or bad. He has the very rare gift of committing completely, without hesitation, to whatever role he plays. In “Stranger Than Fiction” he was sublime. In everything else he’s ridiculous.
          If only he had someone steering him to the good projects and away from “Anchorman 3”.

  • bubbuhh
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mightier than the sword?

  • ManchuCandidate

    The title of the movie: Happy Fucking Hanukkah Jeebus Killing Sugar Tits!

  • MynameisBlarney

    This is only slightly less horrific than Kirk Cameron’s Xmas abortions.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Note that they picked a weekend to release it which had no other major films on the slate (November 10). And it still finished 2nd to Thor: Ragnarok. Next week the new Justice League drops, and in December Star Wars will devour all comers.

      • MynameisBlarney

        YAAAAAASSSSS!!!!

      • tza

        Plus in he “family movie” slot Coco will drown it since more kids will want to see that by a mile.

    • JMP

      Saving Christmas looks like a work of genius!

      https://youtu.be/aVevUS2j3Fo

      • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

        It is fucking hilarious if you’re watching for the LOLZ.

        • JMP

          It is one of those movies that I do want to watch drunk at some point, it seems like a total trainwreck.

  • memzilla Ω

    *checks release date of film*
    Oh, sorry, Mel, that’s the day I’m gonna be uncanning my clams.
    (You’re still the bigger monster, you wife-beating dickhead you)

  • therblig

    isn’t susan sarandon also in what looks like a terrible holiday movie, also too?

    • JMP

      Not only that, but it’s practically the same movie – both are sequels to non-holiday comedies set at Christmas where the leads are joined by their parents.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Yup, A Bad Mom’s Christmas, which is a) also a sequel and b) basically a gender-flipped version of this movie.
      My mom liked it. But my mom liked Ricki and The Flash.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Both sides do it! Amirite?

    • Michael Smith

      Yeah, I heard its about a little girl who finds out Santa isn’t bringing her exactly what she wants, so she kills Santa and no gets any presents at all except the rich kids who already have all the toys.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    But..but…but…This isn’t possible! I am assured rape and domestic violence accusations ruin men’s careers for all of eternity, and beyond!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      The unemployment lines and prisons are overflowing with falsely accused man persons!!1! True story!!!1!

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Why am I bothering to learn how to painstakingly digitally manipulate photos if some asshole can create THAT monstrosity above and call it a day?

  • JMP

    I don’t even know anyone who saw the original movie. And no, Hollywood, Mel fucking Gibson does not deserve help in rehabilitating his image; sure he may be a good actor, but that doesn’t make up for the bigotry and especially not the domestic violence.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      While he had a brief period of being handsome and on his way to becoming an actor, he took a wrong turn onto Asshole Street.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Braveheart traumatized the living shit out of me during a really fucking awful time in my life. I’ll probably never forgive him for that, either.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          I’m Gibson intolerant so I skipped it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    But we’re the ones fighting a War on Christmas. OK…

    • Nounverb911
      • mappo

        You can tell it’s authentic by the misplaced capitalization.

      • theCryptofishist

        That says we won 7 years ago… This doesn’t feel like winning.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        All Holidays Matter.

    • Nounverb911

      Also this, war on Christmas has been replaced with republican war on coffee.
      https://twitter.com/oliverdarcy/status/930175704486072320

      • England and Canada do not want your conservatives. We have enough issues with our own

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          English Conservatives are Left of Obamz. You can send us May, but you have to keep Boris.

          • theCryptofishist

            But we want the London Mayor Khan guy.

      • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

        Those fuckers better stay away from my damn tea.

      • theCryptofishist

        They would have been pretty pissed off about that lost shipment if they’d been living in Boston in the 1770s.

      • therblig

        Tea, “Girl, hey”, hot – Judge Roy’s fave

      • Cat Angel
      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Sounds like a party

  • Swampay

    Lots of men in Hollywood are excited that maybe rage-monster Gibso gets a movie after all this because it means they have a chance for career revival after all this “sexual abuse” storm blows over.

  • therblig

    so, from what i gather, this was not a women’s advocacy documentary?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/004b5bded79090ad76f5b696fa60417846155315770d6bbc923dda4b2f541fa7.jpg

    • Nounverb911

      “Ward, don’t be so hard on the Beaver.”

    • NastyBossetti

      Aw man, is that Anton Yelchin? :-(

    • elviouslyqueer

      Jodie, Jodie, Jodie, Jodie, Jodie.

      Girl, no. How could you?

      • Latverian Diplomat

        There are times you fire your agent…and then there are times your agent mysteriously disappears without a trace “Bob who?”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Worst remake of the Cleaver family saga. Ever.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Is this the sequel to Passion of the Christ?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      And we’re done here. Everyone can go home now.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      No date given for the sequel.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        I thought it was supposed to come out 3 days after the first one.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          That’s what you get for believing xtians.

        • I’m still waiting for History of the World Part II

        • JMP

          It was supposed to come out within just a few years of the first one, with Jesus promising almost everyone who had seen the original would also see the sequel, but here we are slightly under 2000 years later and it still hasn’t been released. What’s taking so long, Jesus?

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            He’s busy. His Father just keep loading on the chores.

          • theCryptofishist

            Creative differences.

          • Michael Smith

            I think Jesus got all Dave Chappelle and wasn’t comfortable with how people were interpreting his work, so he forwent further success and took off.

          • Red Bird

            That was deep.

    • jesterpunk

      That will be the Roy Moore movie produced by Liberty University.

    • Michael Smith

      Christmas, so its a prequel. Since Jeebus is a baby in this one though, Gibson had to find other ways to introduce that “hyper-realistic” violence, so its going to be the classic story of the nativity, interspersed with a parallel story of two roman soldiers who are buddies but kind of an odd couple, one black one white, trying to stop a crime on Christmas night, in which one is captured and tortured at length by the Muslim terrorist.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        I’m smelling Oscars here!

        • theCryptofishist

          Yeah, hanging out in the trash can does render him pretty stinky.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        If Will Ferrell is playing baby Jesus, I’m going to see this movie!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      The prequel. Judge Moore hits on the Virgin Mary in a flashback scene.

      • P’jama Pahnts

        These judges, always trying to play God.

    • Red Bird

      I don’t know. Does it reinforce the God complex/patriarchal fantasies of men?

  • Iron Monkey

    If this was shown as an inflight movie I would walk out.

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  • jesterpunk

    This is the only Christmas movie I watch.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAODpLKZULA

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      Mrs. SG Man likes “Scrooge”. The first talkie version, from 1935. Having watched it a few times I’ve become convinced that some of the actors had actual experience with Dickensian London.

  • georgiaburning

    I don’t need Hollywood to show me how dysfunctional family members behave over Christmas. I can invite them over for dinner.

    • jesterpunk

      Play this song when they are over.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTx-sdR6Yzk

    • theCryptofishist

      Movie might be cheaper. Even if you had it pot luck, you know someone would break the gravy boat.

      • georgiaburning

        It’s a cottage cheese container, the wife and I know the crowd

  • Nounverb911

    “I deny the existence of anything named Mel Gibson.”
    –Mel Gibson’s dad?

    (Yeah, I got nothing for this New York State born fake Australian).

    • JMP

      His dad spends most of his time denying the existence of the Holocaust and Vatican II.

      • theCryptofishist

        He did have this to say, actually: Deus meus, ex toto corde pænitet me ómnium meórum peccatórum, éaque detéstor, quia peccándo, non solum pœnas a te iuste statútas proméritus sum, sed præsértim quia offéndi te, summum bonum, ac dignum qui super ómnia diligáris.

  • I am already skipping this as, in addition to shitty casting, looks fucking terribel

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    honestly when i saw that my beloved John Lithgow was in this film i threw up. burn it all down, cats, we’re done here.

    • Shibusa

      He was awfully good as Churchill in The Crown.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Just watched that, he was. I’m surprised how ambiguously great Matt Smith was as Prince Philip, too. I think Claire Foy is a little miscast as HRM, though. Too girlish or something.

        • Shibusa

          Agree about Claire Foy. I just find her irritating.

  • Michael Smith

    Does he play the President?

  • beingreleased

    From the There’s a Trump Tweet for Everything file:
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/359777715185913857

    • jesterpunk
      • Courser_Resistance

        I really love that actor.

        • Anthony Anderson. Now the dad on Blackish

          • Courser_Resistance

            Ooh, thanks! I’ll have to catch that!

          • His wife on the show is Tracee Ellis Ross. Daughter of Soul Queen Diana Ross

          • Red Bird

            He lost a lot of weight.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Saw my first episode of that the other day. It’s like a really conventional family sitcom, only with a little more coarse language and with black folks. Not terrible, but I somehow expected it to be a little more cutting edge or something.

    • NastyBossetti

      Fucking ew.

    • Suttree

      So, I have been thinking about this. My last GF was five years younger than me, and that didn’t matter. But a few years ago I had a one night stand with a woman who was 26 when I was 37. Even that made me feel weird for a moment.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Half your age plus seven. You cool.

        • Suttree

          Yeah I know that “rule”. I thought that she was older and just looked super young though. I’m used to dating older women. Apparently I have hit the age where somewhat younger women are alright also.

      • aureolaborealis

        I dated a 23 year old when I was 37. It was not good. I take a little comfort (and recovered dignity) in the fact that I was the one who called an end to the FWB stage at the end.

    • Michael Smith
    • YoBunnyBunny

      I feel no regrets about not upfisting this comment. Comments are not allowed anyway.

  • Suttree

    As soon as I saw the headline and the picture for the movie I opened another tab for Markie Mark to copy/paste from. Not that I’m surprised that racism exists in Boston. But here is the Wapo article. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/01/21/mark-wahlberg-racial-violence-victim-says-actor-shouldnt-be-pardoned/

    • Suttree

      Maybe that didn’t come out right. Boston is racist AF!

      • Eileen Besse

        I know. I’m from JUST outside the city. It is!

      • theblackdog

        Yeah, I tend to point to how Bruins fans reacted when Joel Ward of the Capitals scored the game-winning goal and knocked them out of the playoffs. It was a shitstorm of racism.

  • Courser_Resistance

    What is it about raving assholes doing stupid Christmas movies? Tim Allen has ‘The Santa Clause’ series.

    • Suttree

      What are white men supposed to see at the theater in December to prove that they are Christians?

      • theCryptofishist

        The Curse of the “Holiday” Cup
        Who Stole the Baby Jesus From My Lawn
        One Thousand Melting Snowflakes

        • Suttree

          Please do not give Kirk Cameron any ideas!

          • theCryptofishist

            That takes a two by four.

        • puredog

          Two girls, one holiday cup.

      • JohnBull

        Doesn’t Dinesh D’Souza have a sequel to the first Hillary movie? As always, sequels are always better than the original.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Well, to be fair, Tim Allen is more of an “Inside Voice” kind of Asshole.
      Gibson, he’s on a completely different level of Asshole.
      If he were in a video game, he’d be be the final boss of Assholes.

      • Courser_Resistance

        True, And I don’t know that I’ve heard he’s ever had any racist raving fits either, so more a Minor Asshole kind of guy.

    • georgiaburning

      You hit a point where you rationalize that any gig is a gig

  • bubbuhh

    Speakin uv racist sexist business as usual, Sinclair n Trump
    House Democrats seek probe of FCC chairman’s treatment of Sinclair

    Representatives Frank Pallone and Elijah Cummings cited FCC decisions that benefited Sinclair, the largest U.S. television broadcast group, and a media report last year that the election campaign of President Donald Trump struck a deal with Sinclair for favorable coverage.

    “All of these actions – when taken in context with reported meetings between the Trump administration, Sinclair, and Chairman Pai’s office – have raised serious concerns about whether Chairman Pai’s actions comply with the FCC’s mandate to be independent,” the pair wrote.

    Advocacy group Free Press said in an FCC filing in August that Sinclair forces its stations to “air pro-Trump propaganda and then seeks favors from the Trump administration.”

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/house-democrats-seek-probe-of-fcc-chairmans-treatment-of-sinclair/

  • beingreleased

    This probably says more about me than Mel Gibson or the movie, but when I saw the preview I thought it was a gruff Tim Allen.

  • arglebargle

    I found this on the interwebs machine. I’ll let it speak for itself. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dae2f38900ce4267a68fd7540335edf7169010519385521ddd8078439dbce451.jpg

  • I am seeing Geostorm instead of this in 25 minutes

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Destruction is always at least slightly less annoying than crappy comedy.

  • Mavenmaven

    There’s a big audience now of now undercaffeinated racist to whom these things will be a plus, not a minus.

    • jesterpunk

      Trump supporters?

    • OutOfOrbit

      well if some ammohumper is looking for a theater to 2nd ammend

  • Shibusa

    Mel needs anger management. Bigly.

    • OutOfOrbit

      he fucking needs hard time behind the wall, a lot of it, is what he needs

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Mel should be forced to watch Adam Sandler in Anger Management.*

      *Normally I am not in favor of torture. However….
      FTFY

      • theblackdog

        I dunno, he’d probably look at Jack Nicholson’s character and use that for inspiration to be an even bigger prick.

    • Roadstergal

      He needs a nice big dose of Obscurity.

  • James Baskin

    Is this about a gay love rectangle? At Christmas time?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      More like a pink rhombus.

    • theCryptofishist

      More of a trapezoid, actually. You know, like the monks. And that doctor with the Cthulhu mustache.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Don we now our gay apparel, something something.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        …fa lala lala, lala-latio

        • Shan

          That trips nicely off the tongue, doesn’t it?

          • Lascauxcaveman

            naw, edit,

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            iswydt

          • Shan

            heh

  • Mr. Blobfish

    It’s not like they had their own personal email servers.

  • jaspersdad

    Another woman has come forward accusing Moore of sexual assault.

    • jesterpunk

      There was the one who he assaulted in the car and signed her yearbook, there are more today?

      • jaspersdad

        That’s the one. I might be behind on the news today.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Whom are you going to believe? Moore or lass?

  • Antonin Dvorak

    There was a time not so long ago I would have been all over a movie starring Will Ferrell dealing with his dad played by John Lithgow.

    • OutOfOrbit

      but the company they keep

  • bubbuhh

    I thought Trumpz Pee Tape wuz this year’s Xmas comedy.

    • elviouslyqueer

      I’m hoping for Perp Walk 2: March of the Trumpanzees.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Stuff like this makes me glad to have been born a unicorn. Other unicorns don’t do embarrassing shit that I gotta live down.

  • Sheepshagger

    The shit maelstrom winds up to a frenzy. What’s the outcome? My guess, shitty.

  • Shibusa

    Hard to believe Paramount passed up the chance to cast Mel in What Women Want II.

    • Nounverb911

      The answer to that question violates the Wonkette’s non-commenting commenting rules.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      That heartwarming story about how a man used mental superpowers to trick women into fucking him?

    • Roadstergal

      His balls on a platter.

  • Mpeg

    Ugh.. My 1st year college dorm room, I had a pinup poster of Gibson. B&W. Not “Lethal Weapon” era; earlier, like Mad Max./Mrs. Soffel era. And I didn’t even really know much about him!? I think i scored the poster on sale. I was much more into John Cusack TBH.

    Screw you Mel, and I hope your carcinogenic image resumes rotting away in a trash heap like that discardible poster.

  • Joe Beese
    • Joe Beese

      In Moore’s defense, he has nice penmanship.

      • Rick Hill

        I think his mom wrote that

      • georgiaburning

        Another reason to believe that he’s a creep

    • Antonin Dvorak

      He even put “D.A.” in his signature, so he can’t claim it was another Roy Moore. He might as well have stamped his fingerprint on the page, idiot.

      • Nounverb911

        They can probably still lift them from the book….

      • Joe Beese

        Breitbart will be along shortly with a graphologist saying it’s a forgery.

        • jesterpunk

          Or they will claim she was 16 so its all good.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            The more I think about it, the more I think he switched to 16 year-olds after the one 14 year-old because some legal eagle buddy of his pointed out that 14 is actually illegal. Apart from that, he would have started hitting on 13 and 12 year-olds.

    • NastyBossetti

      What, you guys don’t go around signing high school yearbooks and including your job title, even though you and your job have nothing to do with high school? I thought this was just normal, regular adult stuff.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Another, uh, interesting defense of Moore: it’s not like he stole a lawnmower or anything.

      • NastyBossetti

        It’s true that’s how many victims of sexual assault talk about their experience: “It was the worst day of my life, but it’s not like he stole my lawnmower or anything.”

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          I understand the street value for lawnmowers is higher than Spam in Hawaii.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Come on, who here hasn’t molested a teen or stole a lawn mower….

        • Red Bird

          me

      • beingreleased

        Wynonna Ryder’s career was destroyed over shoplifting.

        • Shan

          Damn, I forgot about that.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Also from the article, “I heard Barack Obama snorted coke, and Bill Clinton definitely inhaled the wacky weed, so really, Roy’s attempted rape of underage girls pales by comparison.”

        • janecita

          Well, smoking the “Devil’s cabbage,” is the worst thing you can do;-)

    • beingreleased

      At least he didn’t put his phone number. That would have been awkward.

    • theCryptofishist

      Does that read “Olde Hickey House”?

      • Oblios_Cap

        It does. I guess you expecting Olde Hickory Log?

      • SeeTrain65

        Ol’ Hickory’s Horse?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I think that is the cafe he stalked her at.

    • janecita

      Which girl is this one?

      • theCryptofishist

        Today’s woman, apparently.

  • Mavenmaven

    Moore is excited to see this one because of the promo picture of the girl on the left in pigtails.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “Lethal Weapon: Yule Log”?

    Nope, nope, nope. Not watching this, even if it gets the MST3K treatment.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Here’s some sports ball happy timez. The Cavs took the subway back to the hotel after shoot around.

    • Roadstergal

      All I can think is “That must have been the safest subway ride…”

      I remember El rides at night where I would have been mightily happy to see Jordan, Pippen, and Kerr hanging out in my car.

    • tehbaddr

      Which sportsball thing is that?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Basketball.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Bouncy Ball

  • jesterpunk

    OT but the National review is claiming that Talley lying on his forms is ok because the Senate already knew about it from the FBI report. Also trust them his wife didnt have anything to do with him being nominated, would the Trump administration ever lie?

    http://archive.is/zzEgZ

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I mean, why even put anything on the forms at all if the FBI is just gonna crosscheck everythin’ anyways…”
      — Attorney General Jeff Sessions

      • jesterpunk

        “The FBI is part of the deep state trying to bring down Trump”

        Republicans also too.

        • Roadstergal

          “Can they get on with it?” -me

    • NastyBossetti

      Well, that’s resolved then.

      • tehbaddr

        Right, time to move on to important matters. like making the corporations and the rich even more rich.

    • OutOfOrbit

      also mebbee too his wife didnut have anything to do with their marriage

    • Ellie

      Just another IOKIYAR?

      • jesterpunk

        Pretty much.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “To be fair, unfunny Christmas movies featuring white male has-beens is a totally fresh area that’s never really been explored…”
    — Tim Allen, Randy Quaid, and Jim Varney

    • therblig

      I remember hearing an interview with varney on npr of all places, years ago. in it, he mentions how when he walks into the grocery store, they say “know what i mean, vern?” and when he walks into the hardware store, they say “know what i mean, vern?” and when he walks into the bank, they say “good morning, mr. varney”.

  • janecita

    I fucking hate Mark Wahlbert, he is a racist moron, and a crappy actor. At least Mel Gibson used to be a decent actor back in the day, I refuse to watch any of his movies now.

    • Roadstergal

      He was pretty good in the Hamlet adaptation, although the whole making-out-with-his-mom thing was utterly unnecessary.

      • Shan

        Ew. I must have blocked that out.

      • therblig

        for some reason, now forgotten, we used to refer to that version as “the swellest hamlet ever”

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’m so far behind in movie watching that I wouldn’t time to watch any of his if I wanted to. Which I don’t.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      I confess I watched Conspiracy Theory recently, and probably will again some day, because the dude could act when he wanted to. And he could even do comedy. Wouldn’t watch this thing on a bet, though…

  • Rick Hill

    I don’t remember anyone being sexual abusers or having horrible pasts before Obama ghey married everyone. Or any problems at all, whatsoever.

    Just sayin’….

    • laughingnome

      Yeah because of gay marriage Roy Moore tried to rape that girl in 1977

      • Rick Hill

        Don’t go trying to make the case against Obama any more terrible than it already is.

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    National Republican Senatorial Committee Chairman Cory Gardner (R-CO) on Monday called on the Senate to “expel” Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore if he refuses to withdraw from the race and wins in December.

    In a statement, Gardner said Moore is “unfit to serve in the United States Senate and he should not run for office.”
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/nrsc-chair-calls-on-senate-to-expel-moore-if-he-wins

  • 🍁 Treg Brown 🍁

    OT because Jesus Christ there are only so many kitten gifs around.

    Things I learned that are important in life:

    It is an unspoken rule that if a little kid is hiding under a blanket or couch cushions, you are required to comment on how lumpy the blanket is and pretend to sit on it to try and “smooth it out.”

    Also, if you’re playing hide-and-seek with them, it is critical that you search every other possible (and impossible) hiding spot, all the while wondering out loud how they managed to disappear just like magic, before walking right past their hiding spot.

    And if a baby starts playing peekaboo you are required to act surprised when they show their face again.

    If a kid hands you a phone, you answer it.

    If a kid shoots you with a Nerf Gun you are supposed to die a dramatic death and explain “ugh you shot me blaahh”.

    Now – back to Mel fucking Gibson…

    • jesterpunk

      Dont forget you cant walk on the floor because its lava.

      • DrBigHead

        Or the balloon can’t touch the ground because the world will explode.

      • 🍁 Treg Brown 🍁

        I did the floor is lava at my aunt’s birthday party last September! All the kids, even my surly 14 year cousin joined in!

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        (as a Minecraft aficionado, I can also too confirm that the floor actually *really is* lava.)

    • SweetDeeKat

      All couch cushions are for forts. This is a law.

      • Rags

        Colbert’s sleepovers are cool.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      As a kid, the best way to get carried to bed is to fake being asleep on the couch

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Also if they won’t smile at you, you have to not-smile back harder, with an even stupider face than you thought possible, and a funny voice, if applicable.

    • BosGrl

      Wow, Treg, I actually smiled for the first time today. :)

      • 🍁 Treg Brown 🍁

        *smiles back* :- )

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      All this is completely accurate.

      • 🍁 Treg Brown 🍁

        Ms. MLG! Your comment made my day… as they always do. It’s sort of a dreary but nice and cool day in the OC today, and I’m lucky enough to be working pediatrics today.

        I hope Hawaii is as awesome as I remember it being, and you are having the best adventures.

        I miss you my friend.

        *hug*

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          It makes me smile to think of you with the kids! I hope you are going to do something fun and eat something tasty for Thanksgiving. My best friend and his partner arrive on Maui Friday, so we have been busy getting ready for that. A good, happy kind of busy. Hawaii IS awesome. Sometimes I can’t believe I live here.

          You take good care of yourself. I miss you, too! *hug*

    • aureolaborealis

      If a kid hands you a phone, you answer it.

      * toy phone

  • P’jama Pahnts
    • Roadstergal

      That movie is SO GOOD. I can’t believe what an incredible job Caine does!

      • P’jama Pahnts

        I thought Piggy showed some real depth

        • Rags

          She shoulda won a Hocksar!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        This. Muppet Xmas Carol, White Xmas and It’s a Wonderful Life are the three films I watch with my girls every year, without fail.

        (Oh pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease don’t let Michael Caine turn out to be a horrible sex creep! Or even Jim Henson, for that matter. I already know Bing Crosby was a bit of monster, but probably not a sex creep anyway.)

        • Roadstergal

          I’m with you on hoping Caine doesn’t turn out to be an asshole… between this one and Children of Men, I don’t want to have to stop watching his movies.

    • theblackdog

      This and the Muppet Christmas Special are standards in our household.

    • Ellie

      That is one of my favorite versions of Dickens’ little story.

  • Shibusa

    Bless his Braveheart.

    • Shan

      At least now we have that quartering scene to replay in our heads.

      • therblig

        that god he’s not a flatworm, or there’d be 4 of him

    • Gussie Jives

      Man… as much as I love historical films, I just could not stand Braveheart. Historical liberties for storytelling purposes are fine, but the pacing and characterization of Wallace just made the film a muddled mess in my eyes.

      • Roadstergal

        Have you checked out History Buffs on YouTube? He reviews movies through the lens of historical accuracy, and he excoriated Braveheart.

        • Katamount

          I’ve heard the name before, but never watched it. Braveheart is just rife with anachronisms and historical inaccuracies, but even as a piece of cinema, it just seemed to drag. I have no idea why critics loved it so much; as far as anachronistic historical epics, I think Gladiator had much better pacing and frankly, it’s simplicity lent it a better takeaway.

  • Sheepshagger

    This seems ….odd. I mean, grain of salt and all that but, jeez. https://twitter.com/sethabramson/status/929756198714380289

    • jesterpunk

      Trump has publically stated that he doesnt trust his people and micromanages them.

      https://www.buzzfeed.com/christophermassie/trump-in-2007-hire-great-people-but-make-sure-theyre-not-sma?utm_term=.ueWxlwv7v3#.mrgW1jo3ow

      “Look, you can’t have great success without having really good people around you,” Trump said. “And you have to keep those people motivated. And I’ve always said, it’s not the dollar as much it is your own personal intervention. You have to keep good people around you. Never trust them too much because all of a sudden things will start to happen that you’re not gonna like.”<b?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The “name your job” thing seems like maybe it was SOP. There have been some similar stories about other Trump flunkies, most recently Flynn.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I’m not at all surprised IQ45 told his followers to “pick their own jobs.” He clearly had no idea then, and probably has no idea now, what jobs were actually available, having no interest in actually governing.

  • William

    I don’t know what kind of actor he is, but I really like his guitars. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/087cbe8adc9e5cd781d3bfb55585b1c288cc6bbf6cc407cd9d721364596d6b36.jpg

  • bubbuhh

    Read the article. Read the linked stuff. All I can say:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bb3e801ca59d75cc6a6f6c247c6f6bd7d0e774f88f69c2ed5ad83e64e8557c5f.png
    Lots of stoopit fuckers out there!

  • Oblios_Cap

    I like the Burl Ives Frosty the Snowman because it’s deliciously subversive and makes Santa out to be a dick.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It really does. I can remember watching that with my kids and muttering “Dick move, Santa” under my breath…

  • mancityRed6

    dammit Lithgow! please tell me you need the money

    • Sheepshagger

      He spent it all on dome polish.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      The late Carlos Kleiber, widely regarded as the greatest orchestra conductor of all time, was quoted as saying something like, “I accept conducting engagements when my refrigerator is empty.”

      John Lithgow’s refrigerator must be empty.

  • Nounverb911

    OT but heart warming….

    https://twitter.com/ConnieSchultz/status/929876883898019841

    (Ela’s hands are bigger than trump’s)

    • janecita

      Adorable picture:-)

    • SeeTrain65

      Welcome to the world, Ela. Here’s a little something you’ll find out as you grow up: Your grandparents are awesome.

  • clairence

    why why why did you make me listen to that shit? It sounded like he’s auditioning for a part. I see why he does angry crazy parts so well. What was he on during these calls?

    • Sheepshagger

      Uncut catholic fundamentalism. Heavy shit.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Are these the so-called “charismatic Catholics?” The ones that other Catholics think are crazy jerks?

        • Sheepshagger

          Opus motherfucking Dei.

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Actually, I thought it was Jesus’ mother that was doing that.

            …I’ll show myself out.

    • Shibusa

      MAGA-pills?

      • Roadstergal

        Make Australia Great Again?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Gawwda-mity’ I need to take another shower after reading through and listening to that.

  • SweetDeeKat

    Thank the FSM that other people are as skeeved out by Marky Mark as I am. Can’t stand him on the screen. Had to sit through the latest Transformers movie (because I loooooove my kids and Transformers) and took numerous potty breaks.

    • proudgrampa

      May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

      And yes, Marky Mark is a creep.

    • rebecca

      I find him very funny and delightful! his turn as “hot guy” in the bad Tina Fey/Steve Carrell comedy Date Night had me HOWLING. but yeah, it’s bad. and it wasn’t just once.

    • SeeTrain65

      He was one of the reasons why I was one of the few people who didn’t like The Departed.

      Granted, there were other reasons.

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        I did some searching after I watched it and apparently some people have noticed a homophobia thing with Scorcese. I’ve been kind of unenthusiastic about him ever since.

        • SeeTrain65

          One more reason (of many):

          Now, don’t get me wrong, I say ‘fuck’ a lot. A. LOT. But they used up their quotas in The Departed and still kept going.

          Half to three-quarters of the way through I said to myself, “How many time do you think Nicholson or DiCaprio or Wahlberg is going to say it? … My guess? Seven.” … And I’m always about four or five short.

          It became a black comedy at that point.

    • Roadstergal

      But he was awesome in The Happening!

      …*splorf*

  • Michael R
    • elviouslyqueer

      *sings*

      Santa Claus is coming!
      Santa Claus is coming!
      Santa Claus is coming…

      Oh okay, fine.

      TO TOWN.

      /*sings*

    • Scrofula

      I only remember *part* of that from band camp.

  • Gussie Jives

    Just out of curiosity, in light of the Kevin Spacey allegations, are there any fans of The Ref around here? If so, are you experiencing the same difficulty reconciling your enjoyment of a snappy Christmas comedy about a dysfunctional family with Kevin Spacey being a real life PoS?

    Personally, I think I can let myself still like the movie because Spacey’s character is a colossal d-bag. Same goes with L.A. Confidential.

    • SeeTrain65

      I listen to Louis C.K. and watch Woody Allen movies.

      I’m conflicted as hell.

      • proudgrampa

        Yeah. I liked Annie Hall and Sleeper.

        • SeeTrain65

          I quote Love And Death quite often.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            I still think Annie Hall is one of the most overrated movies of all time. It has a couple of chuckles, but Keaton is wooden as hell, and it’s just not that great. OTOH, I LOVE Take the Money and Run to death.

          • SeeTrain65

            Same here. Take The Money And Run, Bananas, Sleeper and Love And Death are my favorites, but I also generally liked Small Time Crooks. Most of the others, especially Manhattan and Hannah, nah.

            Annie Hall was O.K.; The opening and closing monologues are very memorable and the scene where he breaks the fourth wall and brings in Marshall McLuhan is still pretty funny.

            I hate to sound like the overused quote from Stardust Memories, but “I enjoy his films, especially the early, funny ones.”

        • Roadstergal

          Sleeper and Manhattan Murder Mystery.

          Alan Alda is still one of the good guys??

          • proudgrampa

            One can hope.

            Did you see him in Same Time, Next Year? He and Ellen Burstyn were just incredibly wonderful in that one.

            (I know, nothing to do with Woody Allen, I just like Alan Alda).

      • Gussie Jives

        And I’m a fan of Chinatown. There’s definitely a tension between liking the art and finding the artist reprehensible and I think it depends on the distance. There’s plenty of bands I listen to that include terrible people, namely Oasis and Led Zeppelin. I don’t think personal musical tastes are as simple to escape.

        Films are a collaborative effort, so if the problematic person just plays one role or just directs, it’s a little easier to appreciate the other components. I can’t say that it’s just the writing that made Chinatown good, but not matter how good a director Polanski is, I still want his name to be mud in the industry.

        • Scrofula

          It’s tricky. Sure some sins are unforgivable, but where do you draw the line? Did Kubrick torture his actors because he’s a genius, or was he really a sadistic fuck? What about Hitchcock or Eastwood, who were both just general assholes toward women?

          • Gussie Jives

            Frankly, I think Kubrick was just sadistic. I don’t see how his treatment of Shelley Duvall on the set of The Shining helped her performance. I love that movie, but I don’t give Kubrick a pass on that.

          • Scrofula

            Don’t forget McDowell’s scratched corneas . . .

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Ditto Rosemary’s Baby.

    • Resistor Radio

      …and swimming with sharks

  • Roadstergal

    If we go see a movie around Christmastime, it’s going to be The Post. Hanks and Odenkirk haven’t molested anyone yet, have they?

    Previous feel-good Christmas movies included No Country for Old Men and the True Grit reboot.

    • puredog

      No Country for Old Men really put the Christ in Christmas. YMMV.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nockular cavity

    Holy shit, those phone calls. What a fucking psycho Gibson is.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Most Ironic Movie Title ….. and the Oscar goes to….

    https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71P7xCtHn9L._RI_.jpg

    • proudgrampa

      EEEEEEEWWWWWW!

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      That was a stupid, cliché-ridden movie.

  • Scrofula

    I cannot stop staring at that horrible poster. I know Farrel and Lithgow are really tall and probably have eight-foot arms, but . . . I’m sorry, was there an article? Yeah, fuck Wahlberg “I really should get my grievous bodily injury thing expunged, so I can be a firefighter or wtf, cause I’m nice now” and Gibson “the Jews really did hiss at Jesus”. But please tell me Lithgow’s still innocent?

    Although if he harassed Joseph Gordon-Levitt . . . that would still be wrong.

    • NDPACKER

      At least he has a job.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Is it wrong if I still want to suck the chrome off Marky’s trailer hitch?

      • Scrofula

        shit, this is gonna take much of the afternoon for me to resolve. In the meantime I cannot give an upvote yet . . .

      • puredog

        As long as the lights are out so you can’t see it’s Marky, or maybe a glory hole type thing, I’ll allow it.

        • Scrofula

          It’s the weird lispy thing that’s holding me up–you’ll need a ball gag too.

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            He does *not* have a weird lispy thing!

          • puredog

            That’s Carter Page who has a weird lispy thing. And froth also too.

          • Scrofula

            So you don’t object to the ball gag. That’s what’s important.

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Dunno, him bringing his trailer hitch into a restroom might attract attention.

  • theblackdog

    I hope this movie tanks.

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      Rand needs to go out and mow the yard again and take Ted Cruz with him.

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        I have a feeling that would end in public indecency.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        I’d actually like Canadiacubano Cruz to keep endorsing Moore, and more and more vocally. Because all that endorsing will make next year’s Senate race in TX that much more interesting. I’m fairly sure that Rep. O’Rourke can use that “TED CRUZ KNOWINGLY ENDORSED A PEDOPHILE for Senate in 2017!” in some great advertising.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          That doesn’t sound like Beato’s style, but maybe an independent blue-funded PAC or something.

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          Then, half an hour after I wrote this, I got a money-raising email from the O’Rourke campaign with this subject line:

          “We deserve better than a Senator who will stand by an accused child predator”

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      So, the ones with presidential aspirations are still endorsing him?

      • Nounverb911

        What’s in their closets? Inquiring minds want to know…..

        • puredog

          Alabama GOP voters don’t give a fuck who non-Alabama senators endorse or not. I am having a fine time watching all these lizards try to thread the needle.

  • chascates
    • jesterpunk

      That wouldn’t even work would it? They would still need a special election.

      • chascates

        Maybe state law allows the Governor to pick a fill-in till a special election.
        Or maybe the Russians could come up with something.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          State law actually allows the governor to postpone the election, which she says she won’t do, and which is totally something that happens in mature democracies when you think your guy can’t win.

    • Nounverb911
      • Oblios_Cap

        He’s got work to do screwing up America!

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          He thinks he is on a mission from Gawd.

      • chascates

        With what Sessions knows he could retire a very wealthy man.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Lawwdy’! I don’t even recall givin’ up muh’ Senate seat. Shore nuff’, I’ll be glad to take it baaa-yuk’.”

    • hendenburg2

      Maybe we could make a deal where Doug Jones becomes the AG?

    • William

      Wow…just wow.

    • William

      The GOP is going to fix this by replacing a pedophile with a racist who lies under oath. Bless their hearts.

      • Swampgas_Man

        AND this leaves and opening for an AG who won’t recuse himself from the Mueller investigation. I was gonna write “Who won’t be tainted in the Russia probe” but why ask for miracles, right?

        • William

          So which one of Cheeto-shitheads relatives is the shoe-in for AG?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Whenever I think about the first “Lethal Weapon” movie, I remember that scene where Gibson and Danny Glover are talking, and Glover says something like “gawd hates me.” Gibson blows smoke hard down both nostrils and says, “Hate him back. Works for me.” with a straight, angry face. That is the face I picture when I think about who he turned out to be on the inside. I wouldn’t go see him in a movie now for anything I can think of, and the same goes for all the other gross misogynist and racist pricks who’ve been “outed” in the past year or two. That said, I loved “L.A. Confidential” and would see it again, despite Spacey.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Also a shame: he was really good in “Baby Driver”.

      • puredog

        I thought he was chomping the scenery and, since I loved that movie, I was particularly glad to have caught it a couple of days before the Spacey allegations dropped, allowing me to enjoy it unreservedly. Fuck him for ruining LA Confidential and The Usual Suspects, though.

        • Roadstergal

          Ugh, The Usual Suspects was such a good movie! Now Baldwin is a crazy Christian and Spacey is a predator – please tell me Gabriel Byrne is still OK, so I can still enjoy Miller’s Crossing?

          • puredog

            The archangel Gabriel is still sitting at God’s right hand, so far as I know.

          • Roadstergal

            I thought Gabriel was Christopher Walken? And Byrne was Lucifer, as long as we’re in the timeline where the Governator and that other guy from Usual Suspects are private-not-cops-security-things?

  • Spurning Beer

    Just please tell me Paul Rubens never molested or assaulted or harassed anyone, because his Pee-Wee’s Christmas Special is fricking timeless.

    • BosGrl

      He only molested himself as far as we know.

      • Wee Mousie

        And besides that, he was asking himself for it, taking himself into a dark theater and coming on to himself.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Think he just squeezed the squirrel while watching sum’ “Naughty Nurses.”

    • chascates

      Nah, just public masturbation.

    • chascates
    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I met him once, he is from my town. My hairdresser is friends with him. (He was Paul that night not Pee Wee). I liked him, because he was not stuck up at all, witty and sarcastically funny.

      • chascates

        PeeWee’s Playhouse is one of the greatest comedy shows ever. And the great stars they had on!

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I was too old so I missed it. But I loved him in the Buffy movie. I was impressed with him as he was a regular person and had no celeb attitude.

      • Spurning Beer

        Sarasota? My daughter went to school there, and I tried to find the site of the masturbation arrest, but the shop is long gone. Rubens is my age, and so was “Macho Man” Randy Savage, who was also from Sarasota.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          The xxx theater was down the Tamiami trail in southern part of Sarasota. If I remember right It was by the place with the home of the Belgium (sic) waffles sign. I didn’t know Savage was from here.

    • Roadstergal

      My husband met Paul when he lived in Los Angeles. He and his friend were riding the canyon roads, and came across him toking on the steps of an RV. He invited them to join him, and they declined and kept riding. I am very annoyed with him for missing the opportunity to have a “Toking with Pee-Wee” story.

  • Bill D. Burger

    John Cornyn withdraws his support from Roy Moore. When you’re too low even for Cornyn, you’ve just crawled under the snakes belly in the wagon rut.

    Moore’s last Senate supporters: Carnival’ Cruz and Rand ‘Ribs’ Paul.

    • chascates

      Those three would be the most exclusive club inside the most exclusive club.

      • puredog

        aka “The World’s Greatest Deliberative Body.”

      • John Thorstensen

        Well — at least Cruz didn’t go to any of the lesser Ivies!

    • Vel Venturi

      Cruz is lower than the slime in that rut, so I doubt he will change his stance.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      As expected, perhaps they should check out their computers.

      • And under the floor boards.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Good point.

        • Indeniable Ron

          In the basement freezer, too.

    • Old Nick

      I thought Cruz dropped him. Maybe since your post.

  • hendenburg2

    Anyone else still in mourning after the George Takei revelations?

    • puredog

      Unproven. In any event, woke people can have, or have had, un-woke moments. Life is complicated.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Well, you could say the same about most of the other alleged sex creeps who have been outed. But it is easier to believe the shit landslides about Weinstein and Moore, say, than the one-accuser suspects.

        • puredog

          Tru dat

      • marshlc

        If somebody did something once, maybe twice, thirty years ago which they thought was, well, maybe not actually good, but not really that bad, and then as time went on and they heard people who had had it done to them talk about how it hurt them, and grew up a bit themselves, and thought “Oh, shit, that actually was pretty bad” and didn’t do that thing anymore, I’m not going to be throwing too many stones. Life is long, times have changed, and things that now would be immediately seen as sexual assault were at the time seen as “not really being a very nice person” at worst.

        But if a person just keeps on doing it, just being more careful now to hide it, even after hearing all the evolving conversations about the issue over the last forty or so years, then fuck ’em, they’re a piece of shit. And I’d apply this to anyone no matter what their politics.

        This doesn’t really apply to Takei, at this point, I think, as he denies allegations and so far there has only been one, but it’s my stance on the subject. Something that happened back in the 70s, well, that’s not good but not impossible to understand. Something that happened in the last fifteen, twenty years, after all the talk that’s been talked, I’m not feeling very forgiving.

  • tehbaddr

    The few X mas movies I enjoy are Bad Santa, X mas Story, and The Human Centipede.

    • Scrofula

      Mein Leiber Dreihund. Who could forget such an allegory for the Trinity?

      • tehbaddr

        Also a story about coming together, and sharing, too!

        • Scrofula

          Breaking bread together, the Last Supper. Really puts Gibson’s Passion to shame.

          • tehbaddr

            Yes! They truly shared their meals!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            I have no idea what you guys are talking about and I’m guessing I really don’t want to know.

          • Wee Mousie

            I prefer the “breaking head” type of noir films.

    • Swampgas_Man

      I’ll admit that Christmas Vacation is the only one of the Vacation movies I can stand.

      • tehbaddr

        OK, yeah, I like the comfortableness of that one.

    • TimResistit

      The Human Centipede meets Christmas Otter, was cute.

  • Doug Langley

    How bad can Christmas movies get? Consider this fun fact: Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas was given the Razzie award for worst film of the year. It actually beat out the third Atlas Shrugged flick and Transformers 4. True story.

    • Jamoche

      Hallmark movie channel ads were boasting that they had 10 new Christmas movies this year. What, do they make them on assembly lines?

      • Wee Mousie

        They take recently successful movies, change the setting to Christmas, then cast them with actors who are losing their edge – or never had one,

        Christmas movies based upon ‘Groundhog Day’ are a genre all by themselves.

    • Roadstergal

      That was an epically bad movie. The message was ridiculous, Kirk’s acting is terrible, endless white-people dancing, the ADR-over-coffee-cups…

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • Bill D. Burger

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/930166442036793344

    Well, she’s no wild eyed libuuuurrraaal’! Cons and Baggers and Alt Right Bannonites can’t attack her on that point. She and her husband supported Trump___a serial sexual abuser who brags about it. What the fuck is going on?
    I so admire her courage for coming forward. But _ bless your heart _ how could you support Trump! Cause’ Alabammy? Jeeeez’!

    https://media.giphy.com/media/zITkjWduhG5DW/giphy.gif

  • Kryptonian Canis

    I’m not all that surprised about Will Ferrell, but damn it, this is a disappointing life choice for John Lithgow to be making at this point in his career.

  • BearLeft

    Too bad Eichman and Mengele weren’t available.

    • Beowoof14

      Bannon would be a worthy replacement.

  • Will Roy Moore, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George HW Bush, Republican pastor Mike Hintz, Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd, Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich, Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo, Republican Mayor Philip Giordano, Republican County Commissioner David Swartz, Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo,
    Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth , Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer, Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence, Republican activist Mark A. Grethen, Republican congressman and anti-gay activist Robert Bauman, Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks, Republican talk show host Jon Matthews, Republican politician Andrew Buhr, Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld *, Republican serial killer Ted Bundy and Donald J. Trump be dropping by to enjoy some frothy “eggnog”?
    https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1185021739/Untitled-1_400x400.jpg

    * = authorized the rape of children in Iraqi prisons in order to humiliate their parents into providing information about the anti-American insurgency.

  • William

    Uh…Aren’t churches supposed to lose their tax free status when they tell their members how to vote? http://deepstatenation.com/53-alabama-pastors-sign-letter-urging-christians-to-vote-for-alleged-pedo-roy-moore/

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      The tax bill proposed by House Republicans on Thursday includes a proposal to modify the Johnson Amendment, the 63-year-old law prohibiting politicking by churches that has been a favorite target of conservative Christian groups and of President Trump.

      The Republicans’ bill would make it legal for ministers and other religious leaders to endorse candidates from the pulpit but stops short of allowing other political participation such as financial contributions from churches to campaigns.

      The bill stipulates that a religious institution wouldn’t be found to have violated the law “solely because of the content of any homily, sermon, teaching, dialectic, or other presentation made during religious services or gatherings.”

      That’s the protection that some religious leaders, mainly conservative Christians, have requested for years in the name of “pulpit freedom,” even though the Internal Revenue Service has almost never penalized clergy for the content of a sermon.

      https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2017/11/02/the-republicans-tax-bill-would-let-ministers-endorse-political-candidates/?utm_term=.b45a7119c693

      • William

        But right now they are violating the law and should…be… Never mind. (what was I thinking?).

      • Wee Mousie

        The High Priest of The Transcendental Democratic Church of Satan is filling out his application for tax exemption as I type.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • William

      Can’t they just dismiss it as “locker room talk”?

      • NDPACKER

        No. It’s just liberal gibberish.

        • bbayliss

          Chemo, that’s a bitch, but your hair will grow back.
          Good luck.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • tehbaddr

      Roy, ….you are….in fact….The Molester!

  • William
  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    The Secret Correspondence Between Donald Trump Jr. and WikiLeaks

    The transparency organization asked the president’s son for his cooperation—in sharing its work, in contesting the results of the election, and in arranging for Julian Assange to be Australia’s ambassador to the United States.

    https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2017/11/the-secret-correspondence-between-donald-trump-jr-and-wikileaks/545738/

  • William

    Just seen by me on the Interwebs “If they had taco flavored tequila, I’d be dead in an hour”.

    • NDPACKER

      At least Mel Gibson is working. That is more than can be said about the vast majority of people commenting on this site.

      • Sheepshagger

        Hey I’m working hard at snorting at you.

        • NDPACKER

          Like I said. No job. No humor. Just hate.

          • Sheepshagger

            Self cleaning oven ova heah!

          • NDPACKER

            Is that supposed to be funny or just sad?

          • BreakingDeadMen

            That’s what she said

          • bbayliss

            Have you lost even more weight?
            You don’t look so good.
            Cancer? oh sorry to hear that.

          • puredog

            After two weeks of no shit for brains, we are saved. It’s like manna from heaven.

          • William

            I hope the ban holds off until I get at least one glass of Merlot in me. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/468853276a8705418b27d4649ea218648766a82b45512e7362ba8a7d0b34212c.gif

          • javadavis

            No, no, let him go on for at least a while. He hasn’t really said anything damaging, except to his own reputation.
            Apparently he thinks that having a job of any kind means that you cannot possibly have time or brain power left over to comment on this site. Logical conclusion anyone? He has no job; thus he has time or left over brain power to comment here. He has self-declared as a jobless loser.

          • NDPACKER

            Actually retired millionaire would be more accurate, but you have no idea what a millionaire is, do you?

          • Moar Wordz

            Oh, Hell Yes.
            His millions a nice cushion to bloviate on exciting, naughty ” Liberal ” nests of perfidy & vice. He wouldn’t be here if it didn’t give him tingles.

          • javadavis

            And he’s gone. I guess we’ll learn more about his visit in DSFB later on. Maybe.

          • tehbaddr

            We got one on the line!

          • William

            …and it only took one completely irrelevant and marginally lame tequila joke. I am truly blessed.

          • Marion in Savannah

            But it’s mostly just boring ad hoc crap. We used to attract a much more interesting crop of trolls. I’m starting to miss TLM.

          • Indeniable Ron

            I would have thought manna’d taste better, not so much like unwashed socks, armpit sweat and dried jism.

          • (((Aron)))

            Sorry, I just closed a deal that’s worth $150,000 to me. And I have three more like it expected to close in the next few days.

            What have you done lately?

          • NDPACKER

            Doing what?

          • (((Aron)))

            Your mother.

          • (((Aron)))

            But seriously, read my profile, schmuck. I work in finance.

            And I eat trolls like you for a snack.

            Now piss off.

          • bbayliss

            Have you lost more weight?
            You look good.
            No I don’t want fries with that.

      • William

        Don’t need to. I get government money deposited in my account the first of every month

        • NDPACKER

          Welfare?

          • Marion in Savannah

            Listen up, cupcake. You’re paying my Social Security. (Assuming, of course, that you don’t hang out in Mommy and Daddy’s basement because you can’t find a job flipping burgers.)

          • Indeniable Ron

            Not an assumption I’d make.

          • William

            Of course you would assume that. No. I spent twenty years in the service of my country and they send me a nice retirement check. Unlike your POS leader. Have a nice day and go fornicate yourself. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9074ad004eca789777f8c3486df83edd9e7d866edace27b1385e633af7f0ce4a.jpg

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        I can do both AT THE SAME TIME! Just don’t tell HR plz.

        • NDPACKER

          They already know. It’s just a matter of time.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Pufnstuf?

      • tehbaddr

        Say where did you wander in from, you troll?

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        Oh, snap! You really showed us what’s what, I tell ya wut.

        P.S. “ND” is a really strange way to spell “Nose” and “Packer” is obvs. just a typo for “picker” amirite?

        • NDPACKER

          Wow you must be one of those hate mongering liberal comedians the history books talk about.

          • Marion in Savannah

            BOOOORRRINGGGG. Is this really the best you have to offer?

          • Indeniable Ron

            Depressing, innit?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Definitely not bringing his A game.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Maybe this IS his ‘A’ game.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            That would be disappointing, but not unexpected.They can’t all be captivating in in a conspiracy theoristical kind of way.

          • Indeniable Ron

            The kind thing to do would be to teach them how to be better trolls, if only for our own amusement. But they never leave the basement so it’d have to be online learning.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Yes, but do they deserve kindness? I’m not sure they want to learn. They remind me of the Monty Python skit argument clinic.
            Arguing yes it is, no it isn’t for 3 and a half minutes.
            It seems to think accusing us of not having jobs and pretending to be wealthy insults us in some fashion. When in fact it has no idea who they are attempting to insult, much less their financial status. A veritable cliche’ in my book.

          • bbayliss

            Have you lost weight?
            You look really good!

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            Well, bless your little ole heart!

            When they told you to “try something new” you chose “Internet Troll.” How special and original!

            Keep it up! Someday, you might even get better at it… you poor, poor dear…

            :::tut-tut-tut:::

          • HooverVilles

            Oh my! Aren’t you smaaaart?

      • Edith Prickly
        • puredog

          Krysten Ritter will be in an adjacent suburb at a bookstore tomorrow night flogging her mystery novel “Bonfire.” I’d be tempted to go if I could pull a Roy Moore on her, or even just nibble at the hem of her garment, but am unconvinced of her skill as a novelist. I may become convinced and become regretful that I didn’t go, but Imma not going, at least, as of this writing.

          • Edith Prickly

            This is actually my favourite picture of her – teaching Charlie “Daredevil” Cox how to knit on the Defenders set. https://i.imgur.com/2J5zYMI.jpg

          • Nasty Girl Brianna

            Krysten Ritter has been my one and only girl crush since I saw her in Breaking Bad. She makes my jubblies go wubbly.

      • Beowoof14

        So watching packing up there in ND, I would guess pig shit in sausage casings, to sell at republican events. Now scat loser.

        • William

          Awwww!, You know that “Dear shit for brains”, has been a tad sparse lately. So someone gets a box, a stick and some string and puts a Limbaugh cigar down as bait and you want to scare off the game.

          • Beowoof14

            Sorry I couldn’t resist today.

          • Beelzebubba

            Fudgepacker got blocked within 3 posts. I’m getting good at this!

          • NDPACKER

            Nice try, but you have have nothing but hate. Why are you a misanthrope?

          • natoslug

            I’m a misanthrope because shitgibbons like you exist. Merry fucking Christmas.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Boring troll is very boring, and has only one ad hoc POS to offer.

          • William

            misanthrope? You’d think Russia would have better English teachers.

        • NDPACKER

          Actually we sell all of it to the unemployed antifa in Seattle. They LOVE it!

          • There are no unemployed Antifa, doofus. Do you not even listen to the talking points of your own people?

      • Iam Reading

        Eat a bag of dicks

        • William
        • NDPACKER

          Nice try but I doubt you ever finished high school, much less college.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Do you really think you have anything to add here, other than stupid ad hoc bullshit? We don’t.

          • Iam Reading

            If that makes you feel good you can think that. It has no bearing on reality. Double major as an undergrad concurrent Masters in grad school. And now I can buy and sell dipshitz like you.

        • An Outhouse for the résistance

          You did? Me too! Plus I own my own park where I walk my dog two times a day, while little birds tweet around us. We rock.

          • Iam Reading

            Yay, us!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, some of us are retired, after having worked for 50 years. Piss off, dickhead.

        • NDPACKER

          Good for you. What kind of work did you do?

          • Marion in Savannah

            AOI,K! Just about everything and anything, ending with 30 years as a medical transcriptionist. If I need to I can run a printing press, do post-press bindery, be a really good secretary, be the credit manager of a chain store, etc., etc., etc. Whatever would pay the bills.

          • An Outhouse for the résistance

            None of your anonymous business, loser.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Nah, I’ll humor him. We may get something worthwhile for DSFB.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            I just retired from Keurig where as my last act I ordered the ads pulled from Hannity. You should go out and buy to smash as your way to get back at me.

        • HooverVilles

          Yep. Also retired after very long career.

      • natoslug

        I work, you pathetic fucking fuck.

        p.s. — Go fuck yourself, you fucking fuck. Fuck you.
        p.p.s. — You’re an ass.
        p.p.p.s. — Did I mention fuck you?

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Or your brain

      • SeeTrain65

        “I got nothing, so I’ll just be an asshole on a site I’ve never been on before.”

        GFY. BYE, asshole.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Oh, my, don’t we think we’re clever.

      • …you are commenting on this site.
        Projection?

      • Delu

        Because you say so eh?

        Nice little drive by ad hominem from a Trumpian.

      • Edith Prickly

        And what exactly are you contributing to the world, other than the lamest burn on the Internet?

      • HooverVilles

        Wow, ad hominem + SQUIRREL diversion.
        Smaaaart this one is not.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Oooohhhh burn! I feel put in my place.

      • sillyclucker

        That’s true. Not working at the moment. They let me go home everyday after 9 hours there.

        • James The First

          weak 1/10

      • Heyzeus Ahchay

        We’re all working at commenting on this site, which is more than can be said about you. Go back to Breitfart, where they applaud anyone who knows where to put a period, genius.

      • redblack

        eh. go fuck yourself. i clocked 60 hours at commercial construction last week.

        what did you do? send some terse emails about mission statements and shit?

        and did i mention that you should go fuck yourself while i’m building america?

      • blaid droog

        I spent several days last week using up some of my entitlements. I racked up 25 thousand in dr. bills. More than I ever paid into medicare. That doesn’t even count the last 5 years in which medicare paid out over $750,000.That’s your money I’m spending. In my lifetime I paid $12,000 into SS. I have been paid back in excess of $50 thou. Suckers like you are supporting baby boomers like me. Wow. I just made myself happy telling you this. My cardiologist says I’ll probably live another 20 years. I hope my generation bleeds the government dry.

    • natoslug

      I’m currently giving up on the week and trying vodka-flavored vodka, since I no longer have any sweet potato based Japanese booze left in the house and everything is terrible. Long live the potato!

  • William
    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      How is it that Harry Morgan was in Dragnet in the 60’s and MASH in the 80’s and looked the same age in both?

      • sarafina

        Stellar bone structure.

  • Wonky Magoo

    I’m so glad y’all noticed this, I thought I was seeing things. What the everloving fuck, Hollywood?

  • Moar Wordz

    I can think of two films that Will Ferrell was involved with, 1) “Stranger Than Fiction “-as the STAR and 2) “Wish You Were here” or “About Me ” or some Hollyweird Schlock not buster that he directed or produced, starring Kristen Wig that got panned like Dad’s nose hair all the fuck over Amazon Reviews, which I upfisted merrily. I think it was demoted to Prime ?
    Why the snark ?
    OH, THERE’S A PRETTY GOOD REASON.
    Stranger Fiction was VERY well done, ” Me Without You ” orwhateverthefuck it was called, turned my stomach just reading it’s premise.
    Hey Hollyweird, don’t make shite films abt. a subject you have no clue about.
    Or do bits abt. adult children ( Will Ferrell ) putting his mother’s handbags in the fucking freezing or “the empanadas sweating” and how the script had the Adult Child brother say how hard it was seeing his brother character
    ” Working as a CHEF, ” like it’s a fucking COME DOWN or NOT GOOD enough for his precious character’s ASS.
    YOU, scriptwriter unmentionable, DON’T have a FUCKING CLUE about a hard day’s work or the devastation of mental illness. So don’t glean from an overheard CELL PHONE conversation to prop up your limp dick storyline.

    • Moar Wordz

      And the first fucking person that naysays or calls B.S gets instantly blocked by me. This shit is real, it happened, and I deal with the consequences every.fucking.day.
      It ain’t a medicine issue, not for me, it’s a blind ambition issue, step on your grandma in cleats to get ahead, and damn the fallout. As in the screenwriters or writer’s assistants hacking my cell for juicy bits and lines, ( I’m the Grandma with bloody cleat marks all the fucking over.)
      IS IT LIMITED to Film ? Nah, all of them, Katie.

      • Moar Wordz

        Am I speaking fucking Japanese here ?!?!?!?
        Is it ” bizness as ushul ” that these fucks were all up in MY BIZNASS ?!?

        There was A young lady from Waltham
        Who heard clicks on her cell very often
        The contracts were signed
        She was maligned
        And her body was carried off in a coffin

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    And a very very “MRA Christmas” to you. (barf)

  • natoslug

    yeah . . . Marky-Mark and Mel Gibson pretty much guarantee that nobody in my house will be watching this clusterfuck of a movie.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Thanks, Jodi Foster.

  • Marion in Savannah

    So… What’s the general consensus on the latest troll? Boring or worth poking with sticks for a bit longer?

    • shivaskeeper

      Boring as fuck. . I know we haven’t gotten one on a while but we have to have some standards.

      • bbayliss

        Give him a break, he’s terminal.

        • shivaskeeper

          I saw that. That is no excuse to not be interesting.

    • Delu

      Nothing more than standard Trumpian fare, ad hominem.

      The baseline Trumpian troll.

    • Edith Prickly

      It is very dull: 1/10. Would not poke.

    • HooverVilles

      Seems boring.

  • Indeniable Ron

    I haz a sad for the inestimable Mr Lithgow.

  • Russell Jones

    A Mel Gibson comeback makes perfect sense here in 2017 America, where stupidity, rape, booze-soaked misogynistic tirades and self-righteous religion go together like inebriated hillbillies and explosives.

    • Petunia Cat

      Not to mention raving 19th century style anti-Semitism. Oh but, it’s a Christmas movie…

    • redblack

      i’m gonna upfist you real good.

    • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

      I would say that it’s a pretty scary place to be a guy in 2017, when any one can point a finger at you and say “he did this to me” and you can lose your career or life. Obviously, many of these guys are guilty and I have all the support I can give for the victims, but I also want the accused to have a voice. This is punishment-lust and bias playing into it. These guys have about as much protection from the kangaroo court as the accused in the Salem Witch rial.

      • sarafina

        Well, at least “These guys” haven’t been harassed or denied deserved promotions or raped. George Takei seems to be doing ok, Weinstein not so much.

      • Moar Wordz

        What about women’s protection from crime ? The scales have been tipped against us, in the courts, with reporting crimes, in the workplace where we are questioned for reporting harassment and bullying, reporting when our male colleagues are given promotions despite our excellence, and when men are given higher wages for decades. Where the GOP actively legislates anti-womens bills, anti-minority bills, and tax cuts that benefit the one percent.
        The circus of the media aside, this is a watershed. Long overdue. Internet slandering has become the norm, but let’s remember that the scandals in the form of click-bait are created for precisely that, clicks = more revenue. The articles criticizing famous actors are often written by millennial, and male at that, at the demands of their editors.

        • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

          I’ll get back to this one later. I profoundly thank you for sharing your story and making points in a reasonable way.

          • Moar Wordz

            Ya, wimminz can be SOOOO irrational when ‘ spressin their feels !
            EYE ROLL

          • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

            I’m not sure what this is talking about. It sounds like I made a neutral statement as in “thanks for sharing” at AA meetings, and you’re not making the communication easier. A number of feminists (both men and women) have been very angry to my alternate opinions

          • Moar Wordz

            No, you thanked me for sharing in A RATIONAL MANNER, as if I were three fucking years old. ” Thanks For Sharing ” is neutral, ” Thanks For Sharing IN A RATIONAL MANNER, ” is Dr. freakin’ Livingstone praising the childish natives for not boiling him in a pot.
            Man ‘ splaineresque – get it ?!

          • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

            I can see you’re logic, but is it fair to ask you to listen?
            I specifically said that both men and women in my experience were talking to me in an irrational manner. I was legitimately thanking you for being rational. Nothing to do with mansplaining.

            Is it also fair to say that being a feminist and fighting against the patriarchy doesn’t give you free liberty to be an asshole in your interactions about the topic. I’m not neessarily saying you are (I personally feel that you’re jumping to conclusions and making it hard to have a discussion), but many people think that way.

          • Moar Wordz

            This is reading, friend, not listening.
            Upon reflection, I DON’T think we’re veritable strangers.

            It’s pretty hostile & aggressive to light a firework outside some one’s home that’s so loud,obtrusive, & obnoxious that she calls the local Police, thinking SOME DRUNKEN IMMATURE IDIOT is firing a fucking GLOCK skyward, whom additionally has PTSD, so GTFA.

          • Moar Wordz

            No, I don’t feel I’m being the asshole here in my comments to you.
            I expressed that I feel we’ve met in real – time, and called you out for behavior that was frightening and hostile.
            If you are who I think you are, & then there were some odd words thrown into your responses to me that stood out a mile and at first I assumed to be autospell errors.
            I don’t think it was , tho’.
            And I’m not convinced that you honestly described the crime you were accused of when you were nineteen. If you changed that for reasons of privacy, fair enough.
            It is after all, the internet.
            From my perspective, if you are who I think you are, your withholding the truth from me, refusing to communicate directly & in person, has been damaging, frustrating, and maddening in the extreme.
            I DO NOT appreciate having to communicate w/ you in an oblique way, & I RESENT you not replying to my handwritten notes to you in kind.
            If you don’t know me, than this is gibberish to you & I apologize in advance.
            Don’t think I’m mistaken, tho.
            Please stay away from my building if you’re going to engage in firing guns skyward, in whatever form. Their are very young kids on first floor along w/ elderly people, and basically people who need peace & quiet, which YOU didn’t respect, not ONE iota.

          • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

            Yes, correct, I am not that person. This is gibberish to me.
            The internet is a very large place.

          • Moar Wordz

            I’m sorry I accused you of being ” That guy. ”
            The internet IS a large place.
            He’s hacked my cell & Kindle, so I often default to rage/panic mode.
            Regarding your experience; I was working as a server and went to a party where I didn’t know the host. I’d had too much to drink and was convinced that the party was ” still going on, ” in another room of the apartment. I opened a closed door and found a couple, the hosts, naked and wrenched out of their embrace by my intrusion. I came to work a few days later & they were sitting in my section. I didn’t recognize them at first , then the awful realization sank in. Being a straightforward gal, I realized my mistake & confronted the issue head on. We discussed what happened & I apologized profusely. They were outraged I’d opened a closed door in an unfamiliar apartment. Embarrassing them & intruding on their privacy.
            For my defense, I explained that I was intoxicated & had NO intention of interfering with them. I assured them I’d told no one of what I’d seen, (nothing , just shapes , some one jumping off a bed and saying, WTF, get her out of here ! ”
            I can’t remember if I comped the couple their meal, I hope I did.
            But anyway, I was sharing that story in an attempt to say ” Shit Happens, ” especially when we’re young.

          • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

            Thanks for sharing. I don’t blame the people I walked in on, it was more the lawyers, the local press, the university adminsitration, a lot of things just sort of blew up in my face and my family’s face. That was just me, though. I agree, it’s something that would piss a lot of people off.

          • Moar Wordz

            I looked at the Tawana Bradley case after I read this post. I think she and her family still maintain that a rape, or sexual abuse still occured. With national attention, I wonder if the gathering of evidence was done properly. If justice was truly served.
            Since I don’t know the particulars of your case, I can’t knowledgeably comment on it.
            The media has many responsibilities, to protect the identities of victim/survivors ( which they don’t always do ) & to present evidence in a non-biased manner. They can err in the other direction, for example, revealing the criminal past of an MD who was forcibly removed from a plane, and effectively destroying his credibility.

      • Moar Wordz

        I think the accused DO have a voice, the question remains, do or did they use it, as in CK Louis’ open letter to the press and his victims ?

      • Since when is mockery and $35 in ticket sales (ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseoh, I forgot, Murka) a kangaroo court?

        Melvin and Marky have lost nothing – they got paid for making what is without a doubt the 21st century version of the classic ‘The Christmas Wedges’. They walked on criming. Fuck them in their big fat goat asses.

        • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

          huh?

    • blaid droog

      At least hillbillies with explosives are practicing artificial selection.

  • Gross.

  • Red Bird

    Dear Rebecca, you must have forgotten that when a white man is violent it’s always the other person’s fault or a mental health issue. That is why we’re not allowed to discuss how this great nation was really created.

  • Minnesota Passive Aggression

    No release date? Thanks, lamestream media.

  • psychobroad

    Yeah, thank you ‘Trix, what the hell are Will Ferrell and John Lithgow, for God’s sake, doing in a movie with those two criminals. We have sweet books by Lithgow in the children’s section of the public library I work at, for Chrissakes.

  • psychobroad

    Oh, and Editrix, this will be you and DonnaRose in 21 years, outside some kickass feminist’s event! (My 23 year old daughter Peggy and me, outside the Fabulous Fox Theatre, waiting to see Hillary Live!)

    • psychobroad

      21 years hell, you and Shy taking the Wonkette toddler/real person now!

    • John Thorstensen

      Daughters are the best!!

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    Why, John Lithgow? Why? Just watched you as Churchill in Netflix’s The Crown. You are a brilliant actor with a remarkable career. Why would you stoop to this shit?

    • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

      jesus fuck, working w someone doesnt mean condoning every part of his personality. let he who is w/out sin.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        That’s not what I said and you can fuck right off. Let he who is without sin? It’s wrong for me to criticize someone but it’s fine for you to criticize me? Asshole!

      • Moar Wordz

        I’m not sure why you feel the need to defend
        yourself ? The argument of ” Everyone makes mistakes ” seems an odd apology for male actors extreme violence towards others, even if it was years ago.

        • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

          I feel the need to defend because I’ve just come from an internet community that started out as a wonderful feminist gener-equality place and drifted toward outright misandrism with people being bullied and ganged upon just for bringing up the need for due process and differentiation.

          • Moar Wordz

            ” Outright misandrism. ”
            Hmmmm. I think being falsely accused caused you to write the above gem, and YOU personally relate to the actors in the media being lambasted by the press I.E ” feeling bullied and ganged up upon. ”
            If in fact the crime you were arrested for was, as you describe it, ” A false accusation. ”
            We can’t know that, we aren’t mind readers but we can Google the newspaper article you described and download any court records.
            I don’t feel this board, Wonkette’s, is a hot bed of Misandry , or a former ” Feminist gener-(?)-equality place. ”
            Perhaps you were describing a different web site ?

          • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

            correct, its a different board i’m describing, talk later

          • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

            I’m sorry, honestly unclear here, Are you threatening to expose me and dig up a past and painful chapter of my history? I mean you don’t know my name.
            If someone says they were raped or sexually abused or sexually harrassed, I’m not going to deny them their voice or feel their life needs to be ruined.

          • Moar Wordz

            No, I’m not threatening to expose you and dig up a painful part of your past.
            You responded with the link to a discus discussion that you participated in. I followed the link and read of some of your experiences.
            I’m not freakin’ Lois Lane following a big scoop on a veritable stranger.

          • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

            Did I answer that. Yes, my experiences being falsely accused help me relate to people like Kevin Spacey. I first thought Kevin Spacey was a witch hunt, but then I realized when more came forward that it wasn’t. So, I could work on my biases better, I admit. I have to work on being more sensitive. I think there are times when a feminist (male or female feminist) is an unacceptable jerk and that doesn’t help anyone.

            I’d like to advocate a culture that’s more pro-victim and pro-accuser.

            And no, Wonkette is not that hotbed

    • sarafina

      Well, I’m sure John will see this and feel bad. Congratulations!!

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        I’m sure he’d read Rebecca’s article before he’d ever see my comment.

    • Moar Wordz

      Yeah, why ?

    • RockdudeD

      Pretty sure it was the dump truck full of money they backed into his front lawn the minute he signed the contract.

  • pixeloid

    Fuck wife-beating, Nazi megalomaniac Mel Gibson, fuck violent racist thug Mark Wahlberg, fuck Will Ferrell and John Lithgow for working with those psychos, fuck Paramount for producing it, and fuck Xmas movies in general.

    • blaid droog

      There’s always Bad Santa as a fall back.

      • A Wish For Wings That Work, Rikki-Tiki-Tavi, and The White Seal have been my holiday mainstays for a couple decades.

  • redblack

    maybe i need glasses (or maybe this is just wishful thinking) but i could swear that the headline was “mel gibson indicted for being a violent philandering creep” when i first read it.

    my bad.

  • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

    jesus fuck, is this the new normal?

    M

    • Moar Wordz

      Hey, will there be any jail time for what was done to me ?
      Just asking, bcse you seem particularly forgiving, perhaps you can’t imagine the perspective of survivors ?

      • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

        I would be happy to do that. Ultimately what I want is dialogue because I don’t feel like that’s happening right now. I might also ask you to put yourself in my shoes.

        I was falsely accused of stalking when I was 19 and my life was upended because of it.
        http://disq.us/p/1ni0am6

        • Moar Wordz

          I think this IS a dialogue, and I haven’t sworn at you but rather responded to your stated opinions, beliefs, and thoughts.
          We’re not discussing the falsely accused at length in this thread.
          I don’t choose to ” put myself in your shoes, ” bcse I’m describing actual crimes, not false accusations.
          Many survivors have described Spacey’s sexual harassment.
          The media circus aspect troubled me, bcse, well, I loved his performance in ” American Beauty ” & had difficulty separating his formidable talent and HARD WORK , with his past sexual harassment, which was often obscene, troubling, demeaning, damaging & humiliating to his several victims.
          Spacey reinacted the alleged sexual abuse he suffered as a child on others.
          I read of his childhood sexual abuse on Yahoo news, so DON’T know if it’s accurate.
          I.E fact -checked.
          Which in cases of childhood sexual abuse often need records of physical evidence, witness testimony, police records, and statements from L.I.S.W, judges, courts, and so on.
          Look at the Menendez case…

      • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

        I’m not sure how you feel it wise justified to ask someone else to receive undue jail time for the person that did what they did to you. For instance, Louis CK committed sexual harrassment, he shouldn’t serve time for assault or rape.

        I absolutely agree that the guilty should go to jail, serve their time, and have the stigma released.

        • Moar Wordz

          His ” sexual harassment “, which he fully admitted to in a public letter to the media, was exposing his genitals and masturbating in front of two female fans. I believe that’s known as ” indecent
          exposure ” and is a misdemeanor for which perpetrator can be arrested for.
          Do you think CK Louis should face arrest for crimes he acknowledged that he committed ? Or that the victims should press charges ?
          Guess what -the statute of limitations , I believe, prevents the survivors from having him arrested for indecent exposure, as I think they came forward years after the incidents took place.
          ” Have the stigma released, ” interesting concept.
          Some stigma cannot be released, for the very heinous nature of the crime itself, the method and reasons it was done, and the gravity of the damage inflicted.
          Interesting that you suggest the cybercrimes that I described in detail, don’t deserve ” undue jail time. ”
          Heaven forbid I hold the perpetrators responsible for their grave IP theft.

          • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

            I am unfamiliar with your IP theft or anything you describe. He should face arrest, yes.
            The statute of limitations I think is something that we should respect in spirit, as in there’s distance from the events that happened, if he’s still not doing awful things, it might be time to reconsider his punishment, but yes, he should be arrested.

            I guess we disagree on the level of heinousness of Louis CK’s dream. The stigma should be released if someone pays their time. The reasons it was done, I’m convinced is because not enough discussions were being conducted at the time about the nature of consent. Louis CK thought he had consent, it’s possible (I’m not saying either way) that CK didn’t know any better, that he didn’t know everything that was going on.

          • Moar Wordz

            ” CK didn’t know any better, that he didn’t know everything that was going on. ”
            HE BLOCKED THE DOOR SO THEY COULDN’T LEAVE,
            stated the victims.
            ” I guess we disagree about the heinousness of Louis CK’s dream ( ? ) .”
            Look, he whipped out his Johnson & jerked off in front two strangers, and admitted to the same behavior w/other women. I think the other time(s) (?) was WITHOUT HER CONSENT.
            Bcse what’s a little public , non- consensual masturbation among friends ?!?

          • Therealslimshellstropeleanor

            if those times were without their expressed consent, that would change my opinion, fiar enough

          • Moar Wordz

            Pretty sure that two occasions were reportedly egregiously non-consensual !

  • blaid droog

    I was going to make a joke about John Lithgow killing Rita Morgan. After listening to mels insane rant, I couldn’t find anything funny to say. I’m sorry I listened to that. I wish I could un-hear it. I had to take a blue valium and a yellow one too. Washed down with Jim Beam.

  • Cheryl

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  • Kurt Weil

    THAT MOVIE LOOKS SO FUNNY. WHY ISN’T ADAM SANDLER IN IT? THEN YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TO MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE.

    • Moar Wordz

      Remember the one w/ Di Nero ? SHOE GAZER.
      Abt some one’s crazy annoying sister. Couldn’t watch. SICKENING.

  • docterry6973

    What’s Christmas without bigotry and violence against women and minorities? Wonkette is starting it Attack on Christmas early this year.

  • Guest Liberal

    Every holiday feature needs a static lump of shit for the plot to awkwardly step around?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/758db96b38ff6cf7b9e02912448b6e3c801036bcb4057c68d0a28671dcb49d8f.jpg

  • whoneedslight

    Hacksaw Ridge anyone? That critically acclaimed flick won Oscars. I don’t think Daddy’s Home 2 is really his big Hollywood comeback….

    • Vavoline Marie Johnson

      Hacksaw Ridge was awful…. movie made for audiences that don’t think too much……treacle crap at best

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    At what point to we offer those who have transgressed society some modicum of forgiveness, and if not forgiveness then acceptance? I don’t know what the answer is, and it is a difficult one to find. I guess I just don’t believe in life without parole…

    • Moar Wordz

      I believe in Life w/out parole for murder, torture, certain types of heinous abuse. The male nurse who admitted to murdering 38 people but law enforcement in Germany is saying he had upwards of 170 victims ? No life w/out parole for him ? Or the dear old German Grandfather whom everyone thought was so great, yet he was found guilty of impregnating his daughter or grand daughter multiple times and was kept locked up for years in his dungeon in the basement ? No life w/out parole for him ?

      • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

        Murdering 170 people or imprisoning and torturing your family is a little different than sexual harassment. If you read some of my previous posts, you will know that I am an ardent feminist. Simply wanted to see if anyone had an opinion on the subject. I thank you for yours.

        • LA Julian

          Ardent concern troll, more like. So eager to advocate for the rehabilitation of the unrepentant abusers, so uncaring of their victims, past, present, OR future…

        • Moar Wordz

          Oh, wasn’t suggesting that you’re a misogynist, not by a long shot.
          I didn’t understand your ” I don’t believe in Life without parole (as a sentence.) Wasn’t sure which crimes you were referring to.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      I don’t know. When do we provide a fresh start for the women—actors, comedians, improv artists, writers—whose careers were cut short and whose reputations were systematically destroyed because they didn’t “put out,” or because they fought back, or tried to tell someone in authority about what had happened to them? The women who were on track to real careers as performers or writers, who suddenly saw every single door slammed tight shut in their faces because they had crossed the wrong men?

      At the point those women get a second chance, get to come back to Hollywood or Chicago or New York and start over, then I’m fine with some of the less violent and pernicious offenders getting one as well.

      Rapists and child molesters, though: no second chances.

      • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

        You make great points regarding the insidious nature of sexual harassment / assault. My question is can we forgive the perpetrators.

        You say rapists and child molesters don’t deserve a second chance. Does that mean you advocate for their execution? Do we brand them? Put them on a island?

        I don’t know where the line is. I just know its there somewhere…

        • LA Julian

          Way to move those goalposts! ::eyeroll::

        • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

          I don’t believe in execution.

          I do believe that people who commit acts of sexual violence as adults should be severely punished (prison time), and habitual offenders should be permanently stigmatized, and, depending on the level of violence and repetition, perhaps permanently isolated as well. Repeat sexual offenders must be monitored in order to protect potential victims. Sexually predatory men should be required to go into therapy, as any other abusive adults should. We need to stop normalizing rape.

          At the very least, people who violate other people for their own sexual gratification should be shamed—not rewarded with executive positions in the entertainment industry, or seats in the US Senate.

          Juvenile sexual offenders—it’s a different question, and a more complicated one. We know enough about the adolescent mind to know that boys may do dreadful things that reflect their adolescence and peer pressure, rather than their essential character: for them, redemption may indeed be possible, which is why the juvenile justice system and sealed records exist.

          But an adult male who knowingly, deliberately, commits an act of rape or other sexual violence against another human being (especially a child) has crossed a bridge that cannot ever be recrossed. Society has a right to identify and stigmatize those people. Rape and sexual coercion should never be tolerated.

        • Moar Wordz

          My question is, have said rapists and child molesters earned their parole ? Or will they offend again ? Were they held accountable for their crimes & was justice served or did they skate ?
          ” Do they deserve to be forgiven ? ”
          IDK, did they show genuine remorse at their past actions ? LCK expressed seemingly genuine remorse for the world to see, and judge.
          Did they contribute restitution to their victims ?
          Did they work on their issues in sex offender groups with demonstrable results ?
          Address issues of their own past sexual , emotional, and/or physical abuse & neglect combined w/marked alcohol and/or drug abuse that significantly contributed to their violent and reprehensible acts ?
          Not sure anyone in this thread suggested branding, execution, or isolation.

          • Vavoline Marie Johnson

            Just shunning, which I think is the perfect punishment for people like those two

    • Vavoline Marie Johnson

      I will never forget or forgive (I’m a Jew) for Gibson for rabid anti Semitic, anti woman rants. Wahlberg, I won’t support him or his shitty movies because he’s a racist. I won’t support anything either does or endorses. I can’t believe Hollywood would take Gibson back into the fold…..
      Some of us do believe in life without parole…..

      • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

        Yup…I’m starting to understand that.

  • Jeremy Grunloh

    “I deserve to be blown”. Every manosphere douchebro should tattoo that on their necks. It’s literally what’s on their minds 24 hours a day.

  • RevengeOfSmot

    Awww come on, it has a killer soundtrack featuring timeless Christmas classics sung by the stars of the film such as:

    Rudolph The Jew Nosed Reindeer – Gibson
    You Ain’t Getting Shit For Christmas You Slanty Eyed Fucks – Wahlberg/Gibson
    I’m Dreaming Of Sugar Tits – Gibson
    Fucking N*ggers Probably Stole Those Gifts – Gibson/Wahlberg
    White Jesus Christmas – Gibson

    Featuring all new songs!

    What The Fuck Have I Agreed To Pt 1? – Lithgow/Farrell
    No, Seriously, Can I Get Out Of This Contract? – Lithgow/Farrell
    I Fired My Agent 12 Days Before Christmas – Lithgow/Farrell
    I Should Have Stopped Making Christmas Films After “Elf” – Farrell
    I Wish I’m Still A Star After This Shit Show – Lithgow/Farrell
    What The Fuck Have I Agreed To Pt 2? – Lithgow/Farrell

    And many, many more!

  • John Thorstensen

    Well, it doesn’t seem like we’ll face the terrible moral dillema of deciding what to do about great art made by horrible people:

    https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/daddys_home_2/

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