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Did we not just hit publish a post about this nitwit an hour ago? WE DID. And yet here we are again staring at a photo of everyone’s favorite grossly unqualified horror novelist federal judicial nominee Brett Talley. It seems young Mr. Talley may have had just a teensy little memory lapse on his Senate disclosure forms. Whoopsie!! He just plain forgot to mention being married to this pretty lady who works at the White House.

Girl! You’ve been married two years, and he’s already pretending to be single??? RUN!!!

In an amazing coincidence, Talley’s blushing bride Ann Donaldson is chief of staff to White House Counsel Don McGahn. In her position, she helps craft White House policy, including possible consultation on issues like the travel ban, sanctuary cities, and immigration policy. If confirmed to the federal judiciary, Talley would be a trial judge in the very district courts where White House policy is challenged. But when invited to disclose any potential conflicts of interest on his Senate Questionnaire for Judicial Nominees, Talley just mumbled a few sentences about his connections in Alabama.

And while we are of the opinion that Talley is grossly unqualified for the federal bench, the guy was editor of Harvard Law’s Journal of Law and Public Policy. He’s not a moron. And he knew damn well he had to disclose his wife’s employment as major potential conflict. This did not happen by accident.

And speaking of accidents — or otherwise — we can’t help but notice that Mr. Talley’s lovely wife is knee-deep in the Mueller investigation of obstruction of justice at the White House. Via the New York Times,

Ms. Donaldson has emerged in recent weeks as a witness in the special counsel’s investigation into whether Mr. Trump obstructed justice. She was interviewed by investigators recently about her detailed notes about conversations with Mr. McGahn on topics including the firing of the former F.B.I. director James B. Comey, according to two people briefed on the matter, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the investigation with reporters.

Hmmmmmm. Let’s see if we’ve got the sequence of events right here.

  • May 6: Donald Trump huddles up in New Jersey with Jared, Ivanka, and Stephen “Weenus” Miller to draft a You’re Fired memo for James Comey.
  • May 7: Donald Trump passes out copies of said memo to his All The Best People at the White House. Don McGahn, Ann Donaldson’s boss, loses his shit and says the memo is probably illegal.
  • May 9: Comey is fired, and Rod Rosenstein produces a new memo saying he had to do it because Comey was mean to Hillary Clinton.
  • September 1: The Times publishes a story headlined, “Mueller Has Early Draft of Trump Letter Giving Reasons for Firing Comey.”
  • September 7: Donald Trump nominates Brett Talley, husband of Ann Donaldson, to the federal judiciary. Talley “forgets” that he’s married to a White House employee on his mandatory conflict disclosure.
  • Late October: Ann Donaldson is interviewed by Robert Mueller about possible obstruction of justice by Donald Trump when he fired James Comey.
  • November 9: All 11 Republicans on the Senate Judiciary committee vote in favor of this guy, despite his obvious lack of qualifications and unanimous disapproval by the ABA.

Did we miss something here? Because it sure as hell looks like the White House was making nice to Mrs. Donaldson in advance of her meeting with Robert Mueller by nominating her husband to the federal bench. In fact, it seems to us that the only person trying to hide the payoff was Talley himself when he pretended not to know his own wife on the Senate disclosure forms. And once again, we are scratching our head and wondering WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY THINKING???

If we might borrow a phrase from our favorite underqualified horror-writing legal hack …

You shoulda walked in the shadows, Talley.

But instead, you got greedy, and did that which should not be.

And soon, you’re going withdraw your name and spend the next two years sinking into the void of a corruption scandal.

OH, THE HORROR.

[NYTimes / Talley Senate Questionnaire]

Please click here to fund us so we can come back in two hours to tell you about it when this idiot resigns to spend more time with his Bram Stoker DVDs.

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  • Daniel

    Trump understands wives are easy to misplace.

    • Eileen Besse

      Da.

  • The Wanderer

    Fucking idiot. Is it possible to indict the entire White House Staff and the Senate for conspiracy?

    • AJ Milne

      Is it possible also to dismiss them for incompetence?

      For serious, these guys don’t even conspire so good.

      Kleptincompetents, the lot, to coin a phrase (if it hasn’t been already).

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Kleptoprats

  • canes_pugnaces

    I suppose it’s no great surprise that after a century of Alabama being last in things that you want to be first in (education), and first in things you want to be last in (dumb-shit, wall-eyed racists), that in the Trump era Alabama has risen again.

    Proof that dumb-shit ain’t dead.

  • ArgieBargie

    kakistocracy
    [kak-uh-stok-ruh-see]
    noun, plural kakistocracies.

    1. government by the worst persons; a form of government in which the worst persons are in power.

    • Eileen Besse

      Kakkastocracy.

      • ArgieBargie

        KKKakistocracy.

        • Eileen Besse

          I bend the knee….

        • Cat Cafe

          Khakistocracy (the Nazi rallies in Charlottesville)

    • canes_pugnaces

      I was thinking Scatocracy?

      • MynameisBlarney

        What a shitty pun!

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          He pulled it out of his butt.

          • willi0000000

            in engineering terms “a linear rectal extraction”

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Nurses call it “ emergency evacuation.”

  • elviouslyqueer

    The really sad thing about this is, basically, that they think we’re the stupid ones who will just let them get away with this shit.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      “Hey, it worked last year!”

    • ArgieBargie

      The saddest part, however, is that they know they can get away with it.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I hear fish is good brain food.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Let’s not do anything we will regret, OK?

  • OrG

    Oh, you meant THAT conflict of interest.

    • Mary Theresa

      Whooa, how’s Moore going to spin this?

  • rosenbomb

    “That which should not be” sounds like a knockoff Voldemort.

    • MynameisBlarney

      More like Lovecraft rip-off.

      • Eileen Besse

        Aye!

  • AnnieGetYerFun
  • puredog

    OT: Live Gloria Allred presser with 15-16 (at the time) Roy Moore victim.
    https://www.clickondetroit.com/live/live-stream-gloria-allred-holds-press-conference-with-roy-moore-accuser

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Jesus, TrumpPenceZees can’t even do corruption with any competence. God help us all.

    • Cat Cafe

      It’s their only saving grace

  • Antonin Dvorak

    She was just there to fetch coffee.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    If this field is blank, the bitch fell off?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Talley looks like he reeks of Drakkar Noir and meat drippings.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Fermenting cum and Dollar Store hand lotion.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Oh GODDAMMIT!
        That is just nasty as hell lol

        • wide_stance_hubby

          I had to go there for him. He deserved it.

      • maxneanderthal

        Economy Santorum?

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Is that like DIY santorum?

          • maxneanderthal

            Yeah, but without the professional sheen…

        • elviouslyqueer

          Designer Imposter Santorum, obvs.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Not exactly what I meant by “meat drippings,” but YMMV.

        • Ling Ling

          What other way? Oh…

      • natoslug

        Fuck. Now I have to change my signature scent.

    • Caepan

      More like English Leather and Olde English 800.

      • MynameisBlarney

        High Karate and Schlitz.

        • elviouslyqueer

          Aqua Velva and Falstaff LIBEL.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Whoa!

            Musk by Jovan and Hamm’s LIBULZ!

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Brute and PBR.

        • aureolaborealis

          *Hai

          • MynameisBlarney

            *waves back*
            HI!

      • Whale Chowder

        Axe Body Spray and Zima

    • ArgieBargie
      • willi0000000

        which one was Psycho The Rapist?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Also too as well, you just know there is enough dryer sheet “scent” to kill a moose.

    • puredog

      “‘Cause I’m the Axe man,
      Yeah-eah, I’m the Axe man!”

  • maxneanderthal

    Off topic, saw a factoid today that banana is the US’s favourite fruit-so that’d make it a Banana Republic- or are Bananas not technically a fruit?

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      They are a mollusk.

    • Suttree

      At some point soon, the cavendish variety will succumb to blight, and there will be no more bananas. Thanks you diseased motherfuckers.

      • MynameisBlarney

        There will be bananas, just not those.
        They were all clones, and I’m surprised they’ve not been wiped out long before now.

        • Suttree

          I prefer babby plantains anyway. They are cute.

          • MynameisBlarney

            My dad grew some he called “ice cream” bananas, they were tiny compared to Cavendish nanners.
            And they didn’t taste like ice cream at all, but they were damn good.

          • Suttree

            I like barbecued plantains also too.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I like Cuban style fried plantains.

          • aureolaborealis

            Ladyfingers or GTFO. You haven’t had a banana until you’ve had a ladyfinger.

          • Suttree

            They are pretty similar. Maybe that market was lying to me? Although they came in different colors. I probably just payed too much for a ripe babby naner. DO they turn red eventually?

  • x111e7thst

    That trhing they are doing with the pillar and their arms is just wierd

    • MynameisBlarney

      Photographer-for the 10th time: Ok, folks, just lean on that column, like a NORMAL perso….ya, ok. FUCK IT!

      *Click*

    • clairence

      okay, finally! We got the dragon back in its cave! Now back to … oh, hello photographer. VOGUE!

    • Caepan

      She looks happy, he looks drunk.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Did anyone else grow up with a general opinion of Gloria Allred as a simple attention whore and not a real lawyer? I assume that this was a result of my growing up in what is now Trump country.

    • Eileen Besse

      When a chid molester says he’s gonna sue, ya better lawyer up and get ready for a shitshow. Allred’s been through a few….

    • Hollandaise

      It’s a fairly popular opinion among the so-called coastal elites I grew up with too. Can’t take those broads seriously you know.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      She’s OK, for a girl lawyer.

    • canes_pugnaces

      I can tell you this, I’ve spent a great deal of time with her daughter, and she’s a real lawyer and a serious media whore. Not a bad person, though.

    • puredog

      I’ve always had sort of that opinion of Allred, tempered by respect for the very real things she has accomplished for women. To swim in the ponds she swims in certainly rewards at least SOME self-puffery and promotion. This piece in the New Yorker last month struck me as fair and balanced. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/02/gloria-allreds-crusade

    • cmd resistor

      My wingnut bro hates her guts, so that gives her some street cred with me.

  • Isn’t there some big conflicts of interest with justice Thomas and his wife?

    • Eileen Besse

      Da!

  • James Baskin

    I have to say, this is really fucking sloppy. Seriously sloppy.

    • natoslug

      Seconds. Er, I mean seconded. You’d think as a lawyer, he’d have some idea how laws worked.

    • MynameisBlarney

      As we’ve all been saying…
      Thank goawd they’re all so fucking incompetent.

      • cmd resistor

        Maybe instead of sexual harassment training, they all need to go to “filling out forms” training.

    • willi0000000

      it’s not sloppy . . . it’s arrogant!

  • canes_pugnaces
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Euclid libe…oh wait, you said postule. Never mind.

    • Alienist

      What is a “postule”? I thought you intended “pustule.”

  • clairence

    how is this not just ANOTHER effort at obstruction? Is it true, as people are saying, that Donald is the best obstructor ever, probably in history?

  • Suttree

    If Ms. Donaldson ever came to court in front of Mr. Shitass he would duly recuse himself. Nothing to see here, move on.
    -Chuck Grassley

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    This shit makes the alleged Wizard of Electrical Juice want to go start sharpening his volts.

    • Suttree

      We really need that earthquake machine that he had.

      • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

        I’m currently working on a play about him.. working as in costuming, not writing.

        • Suttree

          Awesome! I received another biography last b-day that i have been meaning to read. Hardcover even!

      • Malcom Merlyn?

        • Suttree

          I don’t know what that means. I was talking about Hamilton’s avatar, which he was also.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Maybe Talley should have tried tying a string around his finger so he wouldn’t forget that he had a wife.

    • Christopher Story

      I thought that’s what the wedding band was for.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Does this mean we need to x-ray all of Ashley Madison’s staff?

  • SKruetheratbassedarDs

    Paging Harriet Miers!!!! Pick up the Orange courtesy telephone in the lobby!!!

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    One time when I was in my twenties I was bussing tables and desperate to get a new job and was looking at the want ads (yes, in a newspaper) and saw a posting for Head Librarian of a city branch library. So even though I had absolutely no experience in library work, I figured I would apply since I liked to read(?). I filled out the application and dropped it off at the library. The older woman who took it from me read it over and mumbled something like “Wow, looks like everyone’s applying for this job” (years later, I forgive you Mabel).
    Anyways, this is somewhat like this guy’s situation . . . EXCEPT I WASN’T MARRIED TO THE MAYOR, or anyone else who would give me a conflict of interest, and IT WASN’T A LIFETIME POSITION, AND I WOULDN’T BE AFFECTING PEOPLE’S LIVES (unless you were a library nerd, and even then, I wouldn’t have ruined your life).
    IN SHORT, THIS IS FUCKED.

  • Michael R

    White House Ponders Way To Return Sessions To His Senate Seat If Moore Wins

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/463ffa1cf3142d4c5ea54aad32fdec4b94bbf4cd296158e2477f17273b01c714.jpg

    • Ling Ling

      To scale.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Awesome boot scraper.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Again, it’s not just that they’re corrupt. It’s that they’re incompetent at being corrupt.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Also, unless that shit is licensed, the estate of Lovecraft and Arkham House has a real good IP case against that Cthulhu ripoff in “That What Should Not Be.”

  • rosenbomb

    Also, I love awkward wedding photos. The happy couple did not improve much from prom poses.

    And: the groom looks like a big toe.

    • Cat Cafe

      On the other hand, that dress is super cute

      • cmd resistor

        As wedding dresses go, I like it ok. His tie should match the belt/sash, though, shouldn’t it?

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Only at a Mardi Gras Ball.
          All other times are up for grabs.

        • Cat Cafe

          Yes, of course, what the fuck is that? The tie, sash, and roses should match, otherwise why do it? “It’s okay, I’ll get a tie that’s close to the color of the sash” “Yeah, those roses are fine, I’ll just hold them way down like this”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      It looks like She Said Yes To The Dress, also.

      • maxneanderthal

        Apparently, red roses signify ongoing desire… looks like he missed that cue, sweetie..

      • proudgrampa

        NO! I say NO to that dress!

        Disclaimer: proudgramma and I watch that show all the time. I don’t know why.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          My fiancé loves it, and I have no idea either. I think he secretly wants to help me buy a wedding dress, and I told him it was going to be a surprise

          • proudgrampa

            Yeah. I don’t get these brides that let their grooms be involved in the process. It should be a surprise.

            You go, girl!

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            I pick my battles. Anyone who wants to be married better learn to do that…..

          • proudgrampa

            Yup. There are some hills you just don’t want to die on.

    • elviouslyqueer

      If the big toe belonged to a hobbit.

  • natoslug

    Between this, Trump’s twitter tantrum over Kim calling him old, and the Trump’s reboot of Unqualified with Ivanka playing Ana Faris, I’m starting to think they’ve been trolling us this whole time.

  • calliecallie

    Let’s be honest, who among us hasn’t neglected to mention the spouse on a serious government form? Happens all the time, amirite?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Or you know, the other way, too, come form 1040 made-up dependents time…

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Hey- my two cats, Jadzia and Nerys, are like daughters to me!

    • Suttree

      “We were on a break!”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I always strive to spy for Russia without letting the cat out of the bag.

      Wait, what?

      No, that other thing.

      • Doug Langley

        M*A*S*H:

        “Are you a Russian spy?”
        “Nyet!!”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I don’t see any way in which this nomination conflicts with my interests.”
    — Donald Trump

    • Mehmeisterjr

      “Nor mine.” V. Putin

  • laughingnome

    Moore’s latest accuser looks very credible or is a fantastic actress.

  • calliecallie

    For a Harvard guy he doesn’t seem all that smrt.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      That’s smaht

    • Musta been family monies then

    • jowgajen

      If anything has come to light with the Tramp administration, it’s that whatever process we are using to choose our scions of industry is hopelessly fucked up.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Book smarts =/= common sense. Lawyers are probably the best examples of this fact.

      Note: Am lawyer. Am also comically stupid on some stuff.

      • Major_Major_Major

        As an engineer, we as a group resemble that statement.

      • Suttree

        My father is a lawyer and doesn’t know how to change a tire. He refuses to learn also. His view is that he makes enough money, so he doesn’t have to gt his hands dirty.

      • Marion in Savannah

        This also applies to most physicians. My former big boss knew just enough about computers to be truly dangerous… And let’s not even begin to discuss how they manage money.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          An old college roommate of mine is a stock broker. He says that Physicians paid his kids way through college. Welders and Plumbers would give him money and say “Make me some money. Let me know if you need to make big changes.”
          Physicians would call once a week and say “Dump all my Exxon stock and by kumquat futures. I got a tip on Rounds this morning.”

          • Marion in Savannah

            Sounds JUST like some of the guys I worked with! (I’ma never forget the scheme to turn a sandbar island in the Savannah River into a car racing site…)

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I work with three very smart, very capable litigators who, when presented with a problem outside of their field, sometimes make me wonder how they manage to work a doorknob.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        “All men are ignorant about something.”

        Mark Twain.

      • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

        Also lawyer. Also used to the “are you in fact dumber than dirt” look from my daughter.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    As mentioned in the previous post, but needs re-mentioning, Sasse and Flake voted for him.

  • laughingnome

    Moore signed her yearbook. He’s toast.

    • jowgajen

      So. Gross. So Gross.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Middle School Yearbook?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      He Still. Won’t. Leave. Because he is a blockhead.

      • laughingnome

        Yeah

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      He got really fucking cocky, didn’t he?

      • jowgajen

        He was raised in a culture that does not see this behaviour as wrong. Plus, afterwards he was protected by the good old boy network for forty fucking years. And that protection may still work.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          That’s the thing, even in the 60’s south diddling kids by adults wasn’t ok: people have killed for less.

          It was more that he was so fucking certain that he’d never get caught, because he was a powerful white man in the south. And a powerful white man in the south is borderline untouchable.

          • Suttree

            That only matters if the girl’s family had power. Fucking poor people was fine.

          • jowgajen

            Yeah I’m not trying to slander Alabama. The culture that doesn’t see his behaviour as wrong is the evangelicals. At least up to this latest claim that accuses him of attempted rape. The actual kiddy dating isn’t a problem for evangelicals.

          • Cat Cafe

            Christianist evangelicals are basically a white male supremacy hate group.

          • Cat Cafe

            Yes. That’s exactly right. There was no culture saying it was ok. There was a culture saying good ol’ boys could get away with rape and murder, and apparently there still is.

          • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

            Although waitresses were often from poor enough families to where it didn’t matter. See the Mungo Jerry comment, above.

    • ariel_gee_398

      “But if he assaulted her, why did she let him near her yearbook.” – Hannity, later tonight.

      • laughingnome

        He signed it before the rape – and it was a forceable rape.

      • jesterpunk
        • Major_Major_Major

          I’d say this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back but for two key reasons: 1) Alabama, and 2)Evangelicals.

          • jesterpunk

            “At least he isnt a Democrat, that would be worse.”

            Alabama republicans

          • arglebargle

            It’s hard to have a broken back when one is spineless.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          “To a prettier more beautiful girl I could not say ‘Merry Christmas!’. Love, [Shithead].”

          Excuse me while I vomit forever.

        • jowgajen
        • cmd resistor

          Whoa, he’s even got the War on Christmas covered.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          In before “kerning”!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Hickory House? You know who else named something Old Hickory?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    My favorite lawyer joke-
    Two Dolt lawyers are having a drink when a beautiful woman walks in. One lawyer leans over to the other and says, loud enough for everyone to hear, “Man! I’d love to fuck her!”. The other lawyer replies, even louder, “Out of what?”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      He will figure that Trump got elected, so why not him? I don’t think it will make much difference.

      • Cheryl

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !fw331d:
        ➽➽
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    • Cat Cafe

      That is pretty good, I have to admit.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    You had me at Grossly.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Here is a scary fucking thought for all. Suppose they are intentionally committing all these public unforced errors to provide cover for some really shady shit. I mean, no way could they really be this utterly incompetent.
    They are this stupid, and frankly the sheer depth and breadth of their stupidity is astounding

    • jesterpunk

      I present exhibit A

      https://www.buzzfeed.com/christophermassie/trump-in-2007-hire-great-people-but-make-sure-theyre-not-sma

      “You have to keep great people around you,” Trump said. “You have to motivate them. You always have to be on top of them. And you have to be smarter than they are. I hear so many times, ‘Oh, I want my people to be smarter than I am.’ It’s a lot of crap. You want to be smarter than your people, if possible.”

      “Look, you can’t have great success without having really good people around you,” Trump said. “And you have to keep those people motivated. And I’ve always said, it’s not the dollar as much it is your own personal intervention. You have to keep good people around you. Never trust them too much because all of a sudden things will start to happen that you’re not gonna like.”

      And the second part is going to be really interesting to Mueller when he tries to say he didnt know what his people did.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Hanlon’s razor is an aphorism expressed in various ways including “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity” or “Don’t assume bad intentions over neglect and misunderstanding.” It recommends a way of eliminating unlikely explanations for a phenomenon (a philosophical razor).

      Hanlon’s Razor

      • Relativicus

        That only applies when it’s likely malice isn’t a factor.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          You are likely correct in this case. I think we are seeing a frothy mix of both malice and stooopit.

          • Can we call this one Grassley or Sessions?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            yes

          • aureolaborealis

            frothy mix of both malice and stooopit

            Don’t forget the fecal matter, semen, and lube.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I chose that word so that I didn’t have to think about those things. No that you had to mention them, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        I got rid of my Hanlon’s razor and my Occam’s razor and joined Dollar Shave Club.

  • Daniel
  • bubbuhh

    One of these people might be normal, more or less. The other has been nominated for the Federal Judiciary.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/006bea95eb9274b774c3ada59de0338ced32627a6420d6b5ab60354ab9e41129.png

    • jowgajen

      I feel bad for him. He has resting douchebag everything.

    • Nope. She works at the White House. Any money says she’s a cultist

      • bubbuhh

        Well, she did marry him. That supports your theory. Unless, mebbe, he has a 12″ pulsating dick.

        • MizzMazz

          I have one of those, but it can be put away when not in use, and is not attached to a jerk.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            I keep mine in a jar by the door.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Don’t get it confused with your face.

        • tehbaddr

          He appears to be a 6′ pulsating dick!

      • aureolaborealis

        She has that True Believer gleam in her eye, just like he does. The only question is whether it’s belief in Jebus, the supremacy of the white race, or both.

        • Indeniable Ron

          As far as they’re concerned, it’s the same thing.

  • Relativicus

    And Ms. Donaldson’s qualifications to serve in her position are what, now?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      She makes a really good cuppa?

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        or cupper.

    • Indeniable Ron

      She’s married to a judge?

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Lovecraft Fanfic writer *and* Federal Judge. What a Two-fer!

    • Caepan

      Many parts of the librul internets would be over the moon to have a Lovecraft fanfic writer nominated to become a federal judge.

      With the notable exception that they would expect that writer TO BE QUALIFIED TO BE A FREAKIN’ FEDERAL JUDGE!!!

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Indeed.

    • Well, Lovecraft was something of a racist, so points for that.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Who wants to bet he doesn’t pay royalties for that very unlicensed ripoff of Cthulhu?

      • marxalot

        The Mythos has been in the public domain practically since creation, and it’s unenforceable now. Sure, he’s derivative, but it’s not the premise that counts: it’s what you do with it. And he does hackneyed, stupid things.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      This settles it, people. We are at the Mountains of Madness.

  • Flashman

    If Talley’s wife was Russian, this whole omission would at least be consistent with current White House practice.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Wait for it…

  • TJ Barke

    I’ve got a horror story for you, a hostile foreign entity replaces parts of your government with complicit doppelgangers, to serve its agenda instead of America, and buys the compliance of others cheaply with power and money.

    • Doug Langley

      Aw, come on. Too unbelievable.

    • MizzMazz

      And the phone call is coming from inside the house!

      • Indeniable Ron

        AND the Senate.

    • JohnBull
      • Indeniable Ron

        Fearless Leader is a FAR more decent person than anyone involved in this shitshow.

    • NastyBossetti

      Could stand to be workshopped. No one would pay to read a horror story that is literally real life.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      What is the Trump Administration, Alex.

  • Brian Loudermilch

    He’s a White Male Republican. Forgetting that He’s Married is perfectly Normal.
    The Fact that his wife works in the White House is just another totally Unexplainable
    Coincidence. Just like ALL those “Forgotten” meetings with “Russian Businessmen”.

    • marxalot

      I like your point, but… are you German? Or just being emphatic?

  • Persistent Demme

    The stupid.
    It burns!

  • Pilotshark

    Thank you for coming,
    1st question: just how many times are you going to have to admen your forms?
    you think you could keep it to maybe 3?
    Thanks again

    • MizzMazz

      As someone who has filled out similar gov’t forms, you can’t complete them and have them accepted without everything verified. It’s just the way it is. You leave something out, it will bite you in the ass eventually.

      • the_steamer

        You surely find it stunning that this very guy (Talley) has a job at the Justice dept. assuring judicial nominees are honest and thorough with their paperwork? At what point aren’t these people simply confused children and instead actual crooks seeking to avoid scrutiny?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Just a minor detail, right?

    It all does float down here in Trump Swamp.

  • Notreelyhelping

    So they made her an offer she couldn’t refuse?

    • Impatient

      Imagine just the slightest return to government under law. And imagine Talley the Ho …. AND his wife (Mrs. Ho?) … facing near certainty of serious prison sentences for even pretending to flaunt the rules. And imagine that the couple’s loyal relatives would dutifully raise their children for ten years to fifteen.

      So much imagining ….
      And SO MUCH LOSING!

      Thanks, Deplorables! Fuck y’all too!

  • Doug Langley

    “If confirmed . . . I will evaluate any potential conflict . . .”

    That’s an ambulance siren for “Yes, I’m hiding something!!!”

    • No. No confirmation without conflicts…useless wanker

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      “I will evaluate any potential conflict, with my zero years of experience, and decide that there’s no conflict, and then I’ll rule in favor of the guy who employs my wife.”

  • Flashman

    I keep thinking that someday, when sanity is restored to the federal government, there will be a mass impeachment of all of Trump’s judicial appointments, on the theory that Trump was not legitimately POTUS and hence couldn’t make these appointments. It helps me keep from going crazy when I read this bullshit.

    • the_steamer

      You can now add the fact that this guy Talley was responsible for vetting those nominees. And couldn’t even find his own wife working for the White House office responsible for nominating judicial appointments among reasons he could have a conflict of interest.

  • Gussie Jives

    Once upon a time, there would be consequences for pulling crap like this. Those were the days….

    • Indeniable Ron

      There ARE consequences. He gets offered a good-paying job for life, for which he is epically unqualified. That’ll show him!

  • Professor Fate

    Yah know I do forget a lot of things. But I can’t imagine ‘forgetting’ that i’m married and what my wife does for a living. I also can’t imagine the mind set of someone who thought he could get away with doing this. The mind boggles.

    • the_steamer

      It’s Talley’s job within the Justice Dept. to assure judicial nominees are honest and thorough with their nomination paperwork.

      Let that sink in for a minute

      Aaaaahhh, the smell of graft and incompetence in high office. It’s just like bullroar.

      This may mean every judicial nominee put through this justice dept. has been tainted by the same malicious intent we see in this obfuscation.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    OT but fuck, fuck, fuck: Y’all, I’m not sure how much more I can take. Thanks to the shitmonsters in charge of our government, today I discovered that my new small town has only ONE doctor’s office who takes my insurance. Her receptionist made it crystal-clear that they suspect all new patients of being drug-seeking: one of her first questions was whether I take psych or pain meds. I can’t get in to see her for three weeks despite the shooting pains up my arm, across my shoulder and back, and down the other side, caused by my fucking horrible job, and since the job knows I’m having those pains they may not let me work until I’ve seen a doctor, which means three weeks right before the holidays without pay. Now you add in that my family can’t be here for Thanksgiving OR Christmas because of horrible job (no point in their driving 3-4 hours each way to spend a few minutes with me in between shifts and sleep) and I’m ready to curl up in a ball and sob for about, oh, say, three years or so.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      All I can do is echo your swears – that fucking SUCKS!
      I won’t upfist because that wouldn’t make sense. I hope your pains subside soon.

    • Indeniable Ron

      I can sympathise. Because of a doctor shortage around here the housemate’s doctor is three towns over; it took a lot of yelling over the phone to arrange so that he’d come HERE instead of subjecting her to travel every time she needs to see him, and with COPD she needs to see a doctor VERY often.
      I wish I had more to offer than to say, I hope you can fight through it.

    • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

      I feel your pain and live my own version of it. There will come a day. A reckoning will come due, and many changes will be ours.

  • Mavenmaven

    “My hero Trump gets away with this kind of corruption, so why shouldn’t I?”

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      New Law: When someone gets away with increasingly egregious terrible behavior over a period of many decades, they will start acting like they can get away with absolutely anything forever.

      • aureolaborealis

        That seems like it should already be a named fallacy.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          It seems like the list of fallacies is growing on a daily basis due to the nitwits who don’t know any better than to conjure-up new ones whenever convenient for them.

          • pd1648

            I idly thought of a website that exposed the daily logical fallacies of our favorite politicians and pundits.

            It would be an overwhelming task.

          • Indeniable Ron

            You’d need a BIG staff.

      • Mavenmaven

        When you’re famous they let you do anything…

      • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

        I think that’s a corollary to the “Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely” Theorem.

  • canes_pugnaces

    As near as I can tell Moore is a bat-shit crazy rapist. Which make him perfect for the GOP.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    They are just like everybody else in this administration: they are in the stink up to their eyeballs. And no, the were not entrapped into this corruption by DotardUS. They came into the government perfectly happy to be involved in fucking things up for their own benefit, just like all the other Trumpenazis.

  • Mr. White

    Trump drained the swamp but he replaced it with a sewer.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Sewers pass waste through. It’s a septic tank that desperately needs pumping.

  • anon_the_great

    He lied on a Federal form and to Congress

    LOCK HIM UP

    Repeat as necessary

  • Msgr_MΩment

    And while we are of the opinion that Talley is grossly unqualified for the federal bench, the guy was editor of Harvard Law’s Journal of Law and Public Policy.

    Was there nobody available who was a former editor of the Harvard Lampoon?

    • FlownΩver

      Funny you should ask. Fred Gwynne was a former Lampoon editor and he has judicial experience (“Did you say ‘yoot’?”)

      Sadly, he’s ineligible because dead.

      • Indeniable Ron

        ‘Don’t worry about that. Was he a Republican or a Democrat?’

        • Petunia Cat

          Nah, dead and on the bench only works if you’re a possum.

      • Petunia Cat

        Herman Munster? Even if it isn’t that actor I am now picturing Herman Munster as a judge banging his little gavel and sending aaaaall of the horrible Trumpists away. 😌 (Away to jail I mean. And one that’s super damp.)

    • (((Aron)))

      A friend of mine is the former editor of the Lampoon!

      Sadly Jonah Kagan is a very successful New Yorker cartoonist.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    The longer the IQ45 regime goes on, the less respect I have for the Ivy League.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Let’s not forget they gave us Dubya, also too, as well.

      • Roadstergal

        And Cruz.

        I went to one of the Seven Sisters instead. I was unraped in college.

  • Buzz1313

    Why did all 11 Republicans vote to confirm this guy? There’s something suspicious about that in and of itself.

    • DainBramage

      It’s probably just the usual Republican Cult type behavior. They’d vote to confirm a dead possum if it was a loyal R.

    • Shan

      How is this not more evidence of obstruction? This guy was the candy offered to his wife before her interview with Mueller’s team. Everyone who confirmed him should get slapped with obstruction charges as well.

      • CynicalOptimist

        So much treason, so little justice.

        • Petunia Cat

          Such a dearth of slapping.

          Oh, I forgot I was gonna watch John Oliver. Speaking of trump et al getting away with everything. 😩

    • Tony Prost

      who have they not voted for?

  • Shibusa

    Maybe Jared helped him fill out the forms?

    • Bebecca

      or Jared’s assistant, Probably Marilyn McIverson.

  • DainBramage

    As soon as I heard who this unqualified doofus is married to, and what her job is, I thought, pay off.

  • theblackdog

    As much as I want consequences that include removing this twit from the nomination, I know it’s not going to happen.

  • AlanInSF

    Stephen Miller could build a completely plausible defense that it was not him in all those meetings, but Nosferatu, for whom he is frequently mistaken.

  • Alan

    Hahahahaha. Sure he’s not a moron?

  • pd1648

    I read a lot of mystery novels, but never heard of this hack. His covers are ridiculous.

    If there ever were a clear sign that idiocracy is upon us, it is this administration.

    It’s not just the mean, it’s the stupid.

  • Beelzebubba

    No Russians? Where are the Russians???

    • UnsaltedSinner

      He forgot them.

    • (((Aron)))

      No Russians, no Russians. You’re the Russians!

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • How is this fucktard married? A gun-nut cosplayer who self-publishes Cthulhu novels and licks Trump ass found someone to marry him. He’s who Real Dolls are designed for!

    • marxalot

      Maybe in person he’s vague and malleable and doesn’t attempt to interfere in her life as long as he has enough RAM and ramen?

    • phoenix00

      Wifey-poo is also a gun-nut cosplayer that licks Dump ass?

  • marxalot

    I’m increasingly drawn to the idea that you don’t have to be much of a smarty to be the editor of a Harvard journal. And my experience in scholarly communication is just heaping up corroborative evidence, btw.

  • the_steamer

    —the “insanity” of Talley’s nomination extends to his job at the Justice
    Department, where he vets judicial nominees and helps them with their
    nomination paperwork.

    “It is literally his job to help nominees fill out these forms honestly and
    completely,” Kang told HuffPost. “If this is how he approached his own
    nomination, what is he advising everyone else?”

    How is that not the headline?

    “Man responsible for honesty in judicial reviews omits his own wife’s position in White House as possible conflict of interest for his nomination”

    • Indeniable Ron

      Republican ‘honesty.’

    • Beelzebubba

      In this administration, “help with the forms” probably consists of telling the nominees what to “forget”.

      • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

        My thoughts exactly. Arrested for assaulting your spouse? Call it “domestic violence certification training” instead.

  • javadavis

    Oh, boy.
    Have some flowers – I can’t seem to load individual pics, but check out this link for some flower pictures. A fella named Craig Burrows does them – keeps out all light except the frequencies he wants in order to excite the foliage. Come to think of it, it could be flower and honeybee porn pics.

    https://petapixel.com/2017/01/18/sparkling-photos-flowers-glowing-intense-uv-light/

    • (((Aron)))

      Nice time!

    • Indeniable Ron

      Oh, my…

      But I hang around here way too much. I thought it read, ‘To take these photos, Burrows shines a 365nm LED light at his pants…’

    • Petunia Cat

      Triiiiippyyyy. Beautiful. But there’s still too much magenta in the world. 😒

      • javadavis

        Support Craig, support bee porn!

  • BadKitty904

    I must say, the Banana Republicans are certainly setting new standards in American corruption, nepotism, and incompetence. We’ll soon be ready to give Costaguana and Parador a run for their (bribe) money…

  • (((Aron)))

    THE HORA, THE HORA

  • BadKitty904

    God, that photo = “Bluto: The Early Years“…

  • docterry6973

    You know how it is. Guys don’t pay much attention to what the little woman does with her day.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “Mistah Kurtz – he nomination dead.”

    • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

      I’m ready for their Apocalypse, Mr. DeMille.

  • Indeniable Ron

    This li’l ol’ blatant case of conflict of interest should ensure that his name is immediately withdr… haw haw haw, I couldn’t finish that with a straight face.

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      “Obvious and apparent conflict of interest that you failed to mention on your forms? You’re hired!”

  • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

    yeah, i was with ya all the way, $5F, until the “…and soon, you’re going to withdraw your name…” part

    NEVER GONNA HAPPEN….oh, uhhh…sorry….never gonna happen, cause these mothafuckas are bent on destroying ‘murrika as we know it, and the more white supremacists they can put on the federal bench, the better, and they dont fucking care…

    i wish it werent so, but the facts are in evidence

    • If he does not withdraw, he gets slapped with some serious papers.
      You do not omit on your disclosure form and get away with it.

      • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

        except, when the people who are responsible for the paper-slappin are just as guilty of ‘murrika-murder as the people who should be paper-slapped…if we’ve learned anything in the past few years, it’s that there are no guarantees that the system will work as it should

      • Petunia Cat

        “You do not omit on your disclosure form and get away with it”.

        Unless you’re Jared.

        And he is no Jared.

        😁

  • they should be drummed out of DC for the illusion netting alone.

  • Zyxomma

    Well done, $5F. There is no low to which they will not sink.

  • Sakonyachen

    The titles of the books should be enough reason not to give him any job above pooper scooper.

  • george lastrapes

    Is he self-published?

  • gshenaut

    The nomination of this guy was a travesty, but c’mon, it’s not a bad thing to write novels, even bad ones with lurid covers.

  • gedjcj

    Dopery with intent to gape.

  • The Librarian

    What a putz. Reminds me of the time an IP lawyer asked to copy a whole book. Seriously?!

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    I am truly disappointed. I looked up his books on Amazon and yes they are available but what is even worse is that there are no good funny reviews. With the titles are “That which should not be” and “The Void” he has set himself up for ridicule at this juncture. I guess Amazon lacks Wonkette’s flair for snark.

  • harryeagar

    Is he going to be an activist judge?

  • Jukesgrrl

    Gee, he didn’t even have to pay a membership fee to join Moron-a-GoGo.

  • Rickyphoo

    This country is so fucked. Even if the Democratic Party manages to take back the House and/or Senate and get a president elected, with these very un-impartial judges trump is putting up and the GOP is confirming, absolutely nothing is going to get done for generations. Look for more “Citizens United” decisions.

  • Donna Mueller

    WOW-saw this idiot on TV talking to congress out of his front head face hole. the only place he belongs is playing the dopey, fumbling, bumbling neighbor that annoys you at the worst time on the sitcom that’s so stupid it gets cancelled after 2 episodes.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Self-published” I presume?

    • Keith Taylor

      Hey, fair is fair. I haven’t read any of his stuff, but he might even be a first class horror writer. If so, he’d probably have been well advised to make his living that way and not tried to become a Federal judge.

  • Terpsichord

    Everything out of Alabama is shit these days.

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