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How big is Putin’s peener? THIS BIG.

Donald Trump is stepping in Russian shit and eating it off the bottom of his shoe again! After he gleefully reported this weekend that he had snuggled with his real dad Vladimir Putin in Asia, who told him yet again that Russia didn’t do the meddling, he added:

I mean, give me a break, they are political hacks. So you look at it, I mean, you have [former CIA director John] Brennan, you have [former DNI James] Clapper and you have [former FBI director James] Comey. Comey is proven now to be a liar and he is proven now to be a leaker. So you look at that and you have President Putin very strongly, vehemently says he had nothing to do with them.

See? Putin, whom Trump loves because A) he has perky strongman nekkid nipples, B) he has some REALLY DISGUSTING kompromat on Trump, or C) both, says he didn’t do it. Whereas James Clapper and John Brennan, two of the most consummate professionals and experts from the entire world of American intelligence, are dumb hacks, and Comey is the LEAKER-IN-CHIEF (because he gave his friend unclassified portions of his own memos to leak to the New York Times after Trump fired him for investigating Russian interference in our election). As we asked this weekend, who you gonna believe? The Russian KGB despot, or these fucking loser American patriots over here?

The Trump administration has done various versions of trying to clean up Trump’s latest diarrhea monsoon, and all of them have been lame. But Clapper and Brennan went on the TV on Sunday, and surprise, both of them had some shit to say!

The Washington Post collected some quotes from their appearances on CNN’s “Face The Nation” Sunday.

Brennan!

“I think it demonstrates to Mr. Putin that Donald Trump can be played by foreign leaders who are going to appeal to his ego and try to play upon his insecurities, which is very, very worrisome from a national security standpoint.”

Clapper!

“He seems very susceptible to rolling out the red carpet and honor guards and all the trappings and pomp and circumstance that come with the office, and I think that appeals to him, and I think it plays to his insecurities,” Clapper said.

The operative word here is “played.”

In his earlier remarks to reporters, Trump also referred to Brennan and Clapper as “political hacks.” Brennan said Sunday that he considers Trump’s characterization “a badge of honor.”

Yeah, it’s pretty safe to say that if Donald Trump thinks you’re a hack, you are probably literally the best in your entire field, far surpassing all the wannabe whiny ass titty baby Dunning-Kruger syndrome people like Trump.

WaPo also quotes Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, whose very punchable face was asked to comment on the statements from Clapper and Brennan, and this is what he said:

“Those were the most ridiculous statements,” Mnuchin said. “President Trump is not getting played by anybody.” […]

“I think the country is ready to move on off of this and focus on important issues,” he said.

That’s right. Let’s ignore whether America’s oldest enemy is literally inside the White House, subverting our sovereignty and taking a giant Russian shit all over our democracy, and move on to the things Mnuchin thinks are important, which are … what? Repealing the estate tax so Steven Mnuchin’s dead carcass doesn’t have to pay it when he dies? Helping his asshole wife do Instagram challenges to see how many different couture brands she can wear while jetting around America on the taxpayer dime? What is more important, please?

And as to Mnuchin’s expert opinion that “Trump is not getting played by anybody,” go fuck yourself, you slobbering dickspittle, as it is obvious to anyone who is currently awake that Putin plays Trump like the G-string on a fiddle.

By the way, Clapper and Brennan aren’t the only ones who have responded to the orange dipshit’s comments. Look what James Comey said on his newly verified Twitter account:

He added:

LOL that’s right, not only is Comey the LEAKER-IN-CHIEF, he is also the SUBTWEETER-IN-CHIEF. And he will use BIBLE as his weapon!

Precious lord, give Robert Mueller strength, that he may get Trump and his merry band of compromised motherfuckers out of here before they burn the entire place down and give Putin the ashes for his birthday.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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[Washington Post]

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  • TJ Barke

    Unfit! Make him quit!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “If Small Hands is unfit,
      You must make him quit.” — Johnny Cochrane

      • TJ Barke

        If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit!

        • grindstone

          The Wookie defense? I would pay good money for someone to pitch that to tRump.

    • Oblios_Cap

      If his university doesn’t teach
      Then surely you must impeach!

  • Michael R
  • dslindc

    It must be getting close to pee tape-o’clock.

  • Weird Fishes

    Let’s just taunt the motherfucker out of office. Honestly, it seems like there are times when it would actually work.

    • Ling Ling

      Good idea. Embarass or rage stroke. Either way…

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Does this mean Putin is now the Adult in The Room?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Putin plays Trump like the G-string on a fiddle

    He’s got the fingering down, I’d imagine. You made me think of Trump in a G-string, and that ruined my lunch.

    • WIDTAP

      Make Tump stop fiddling with the G-strings!

  • SayItWithWookies

    And actual political hack Mike Pompeo even considers Assmouth to be spewing nonsense about this. I didn’t expect one of Trump’s handpicked Toadies to go all Thomas a Becket on him about such a central issue, but he must know something to be so convinced.

  • Khavrinen

    “Precious lord, give Robert Mueller strength, that he may get Trump and his merry band of compromised motherfuckers out of here before they burn the entire place down and give Putin the ashes for his birthday.”

    From your lips to His Noodly Appendages, RAmen.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Putin’s birthday is October 7, so we’ve maybe dodged that bullet for a year.

  • ManchuCandidate

    On the bright side at least Putin hasn’t branded Trump as his butt boy like some Hollywood sex cult fronted by a former Smallville star.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Chloe took the brown Kryptonite.

  • OrG

    I thought England was our oldest enemy.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Or Eastasia!

    • I can’t wait till Canada’s turn

      • WE HAD IT ALREADY! WE HAD IT ALREADY!

        • And remember what we did last time? We won and burned your stupid White House down

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            At least now it’s called “blazing up” the White House. Fo-shuzzle my duzzle. Ain’t no party like a Liberal Party.

          • Don’t tell ’em that! They’ll be calling us in to do it again.

          • willi0000000

            thanks . . . just when we need you, you go and get all polite.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      Our oldest enemy is time.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I thought it was common sense.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      France is our oldest Frenemy.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I thought it was Fleet Extra Cleansing… oh, enemY. Got it.

    • Daniel

      Britain is.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Native Americans.

  • Jo Mathie

    How has Trump not been impeached yet? In one year he’s done so much shady stuff from Russian collusion to nepotism to his bonkers tax cuts. I think Graham Norton said it best when he was on the Steven Colbert show – “why isn’t Trump’s popularity rating zero?”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      because Republicans are duplicitous pieces of shit and traitors to Murica

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Now, now, their loyalty to the Confederacy has never been in doubt…

        • Oblios_Cap

          Not since 1866 or so.

    • marxalot

      Because the Senate is gonna ride this grift train as hard as it can, on the backs of the blahs and the queers and the poors, right into the cold ground. Tax cuts!

    • ArgieBargie

      Because Tax cuts.

      And her emails, of course.

    • BearGHAZI

      First, we gotta get through all the worst parts of the Bible

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I consider Vlad to be my really amazing sidekick.
    My R.A.S. Putin you might call him…”
    — Donald Trump

  • Persistent Demme

    Thanks, Evan!
    “Precious Lord, give Robert Mueller strength…”
    (Now THAT’S a thought and prayer I can get behind!)

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Fox’s defense of this fucking moran is a better Eason for advertiser to flee the network.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    OT – Success! I got my Airbrush to spray again, and finished the NATO Green basecoat on my Irish Guards – all 69 minis I have in-hand, and it also sprayed 2 cups worth of 91% Alcohol as the finish of cleaning.

    I think that problem is solved, finally. When my Milan Section arrives in today’s post I can hopefully get those ten minis primed as well.

    • SDGeoff3

      Those sweet new wigs really have you on a creative tear! You go!

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        :) Thank you.

        • SDGeoff3

          De nada, I’m sure.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Is that really the best use of alcohol?

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        91%? Yes. That shit will make you Blind and Dead if taken internally.

  • Ling Ling

    “Lordy, I hope there are tapes” – as do we all…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Every Senator and Congressfool should be asked if they support President Traitor.

    • beatbort

      Trump has already made them (at least the Republican ones) sign loyalty oaths to Putin.

      • willi0000000

        so they can honestly say they don’t support t’Rump?

  • The space between two points is pointless, as tRump demonstrates in the photo.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Like my head!

  • canes_pugnaces

    As I said elsewhere, the Trump cancer has metastasized. We are looking at radical surgery and years of treatment to undo the damage this fuckwit is doing. I suspect after 3 to 7 years of this we’ll hardly be recognizable as country. A misshapen torso with half a head and no limbs. Trump’s America.

    • willi0000000

      if t’Rump gets reelected we’re looking at putin’s America in less than seven years!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Would someone please tell Edward Piddlehands that they’ve already cast the reboot of Mean Girls? FFS.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    “I think the country is ready to move on off of this and focus on important issues,” he said.

    Speak for yourself, STEVE.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’s got his grifting position, so he doesn’t care.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Why is Steve talking at all? I don’t recall the solicitation of any other recent Treasury Secretary’s opinion on non-treasury matters.

    • grindstone

      I can focus on other things, like my job and family, because I know Mueller is focused on the important issues. Thanks for the reminder, STEVE.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I only sucked his cock a little…it doesn’t mean he owns me.”
    — Donald Trump

    “That’s what I keep telling people…”
    — Melania

    • elviouslyqueer

      “That’s what I keep telling people…”
      — Ivanka

      There. FIFY.

    • ChumpsForTrump

      That thing he always does with his lips makes me think it’s been more than a little..

      • SDGeoff3

        Methed out?

  • Daniel

    “Let’s ignore whether America’s oldest enemy is literally inside the White House, subverting our sovereignty and taking a giant Russian shit all over our democracy,”

    [COUGHS BRITISHLY]

  • William

    *sniff* so beautiful. https://youtu.be/GyIBW_cLiIk

    • beatbort

      I didn’t know “Sometimes When We Touch” was a Filipino song…

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        lol, Dan Hill libelz.

    • SDGeoff3

      Oh sweet jebus please take me now.

  • SigDeFlyinMonky

    4-F, physically, mentally or morally unfit for service.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    May the Gods help *any* Republican that gets in my face. These fucking Traitors should be ashamed and afraid, for whatever term of miserable life is left to them on this earth.

  • DerrickWildcat

    If you can’t trust the former head of the KGB, who can you trust?

    • Good point.

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Pope?

    • Saul, the Lawyer from Breaking Bad

      • Seek

        Recently had to go to Vegas, there is now a Breaking Bad video slot machine with a Better Call Saul Bonus round. Hilarious

        • Cheryl

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !fw331d:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleInternetIdeaComunityWorkFromHome/make/more ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!fw331lhh

        • Lou

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !da187:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleNetJobsStoreWorkFromHome/find/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!da187luu

    • SDGeoff3

      Midas Mufflers?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Nazis?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Santa Claus? Although he does wear a red suit, has long hair, smokes a pipe and creeps around your house at night.

    • calliecallie
  • Michael Smith

    LOL how can any of his idiot bootlicking voters still but into him. Comey is a proven liar, and Putin vehemently denies involvement?

    Yeah cuz Putin isn’t a proven liar, right? Oh maybe its just the liberal media that has given him a bad rap for killing critics and staging masked invasions of neighbors.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Yeah! We’ve only staged invasions when we’ve really had to. Remember the Maine! And the Gulf of Tonkin!

      • willi0000000

        . . . and Grenada . . . and Iran . . . and…

    • rosenbomb

      I am still trying to figure out how some of the same people who love Saint Ronnie and his “git tuff on the Soviets” rhetoric are suddenly okay with Putin. Putin has, in effect, brought the USSR back from the dead. How does one reconcile the two? The mind reels.

      • Michael Smith

        Well, while the USSR was just as much of a corrupt kleptocracy as is Putin’s regime, the USSR claimed it was trying to help Poors, which made them hate it. These people love autocracy, they just hate rhetoric that throws a bone to poor people.

        • rosenbomb

          That’s true. They’ve shed the “commie” label, which is a huge plus.

  • Bananas Foster

    The bible thumping is killing my Comey crush.

    • proudgrampa

      Yeah. Me too.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Duterte said just this morning that “…if you are killed in the Phillipines, you did something wrong.” ___ Followed by Trump calling him a “…great and strong leader. We have established a great relationship. Our relationship is strong.”

    Let see! Love for Putin…check! Love for Xi….check! Love for Duterte….double check! ___and the bad guys are our own intelligence services.

  • beatbort

    Hasn’t our intelligence service got anything on Putin? I mean, there’s gotta be footage of him fucking a horse or something, right? Why are we spending all this good taxpayer money and we don’t even have any horse fucking footage?

    • William

      What sort of dirt could we possibly have on a former KGB agent?

      • ChumpsForTrump

        Maybe he appears in the pee tape

        • Oblios_Cap

          Dressed as a hooker.

    • marxalot

      Anything we would see as compromising, Putin has already used as propaganda.

  • calliecallie

    “Precious lord, give Robert Mueller strength…”

    If we’re praying on this, can we also ask for speed? I thought Stephen Miller was supposed to be getting indicted or something today.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Better they should take their time and leave no doubt.

      • OutOfOrbit

        KaBOOM mushroom cloud,

        “Well Mueller still had some doubts, so there’s that”

  • Baconzgood

    BACONZ has to cash in on this. I’m at an age where I’m a “realist” and no longer an “idealist” (for the purpose of us wonkers I want to tell you fucking shit up from the inside is better than holding a sign of protest up on the outside). So here is my letter.

    DEAREST BIGGESTESTER THAN EMBIGGEND HANDS/DICK AWESOME MANLY-MAN a.k.a The most Croumelent And greatest President Ever:

    You are the most handsome and smart making ingredients person I ever heard of. My greatest achievement in like was standing next to you. Of course it was just cardboard cut out of you after I spent $80,000 to go to your prestigious smart school, but still I shook with fear at the intelligence that the corrugated paper imbued to me.

    You are the smartest person I ever heard of, and I heard of Capurnicus and DaVinchicee. I wish you were a music person so I could know Bauk betterier.

    You are smarter than that dude Play-dough. I know I’m not worthy at all but as me asking can I bee the person in charge of Ironan? Pleeze I have almost as smart as your son.

    Inclosed is a coloring book about Grover and 24 different colored crayons

    If Ironan is too much for me can your great big beautifully bestest hands see fit to send me to me toto the Irish place (not the war one one but the one you have the fancy golf course area- Scotland?, that’s in southern Ireland right)

    Thanks baconz.

    Oh P.S. I’m sure you dont remember, because you do it ALL THE TIME TO EVERYONE, but we played the hardest golf course together and you beat me by 77 strokes. (I shot a 50 that day).

    • Oblios_Cap

      I wish you were a music person so I could know Bauk betterier.

      Ah, Bauk!

      • Eileen Besse

        Ahhh….

      • Baconzgood

        He’s mutch more better than Moozart.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…

    Brilliant fuckin idea, IMHO.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/10029837854

    • SDGeoff3

      That’ll happen.

      • MynameisBlarney

        *shrugs*

        Ya never know.

        • MizzMazz

          Gah, I remember reading a story about a toddler who got her Mom’s gun out of her purse and shot herself, and the family called it a tragedy, but she was with Jesus now, or some such twaddle. They really do love their guns more than their kids.

  • bubbuhh

    So Much Winning
    Trump bailed on a trade deal, and now a bunch of US businesses may suffer

    One of the defining actions of President Donald Trump tenure in the White House so far is his decision to withdraw the U.S. from a 12-nation trade deal that would have had wide-ranging implications for much of the world’s economy.

    Now that deal — the Trans-Pacific Partnership — looks like it’s going to be settled without the U.S. That may mean American farmers and small business owners will soon regret Washington’s withdrawal.

    “The U.S. business community that’s going to get hit the hardest when TPP happens is going to be agriculture and small and medium-sized enterprises,” said Steve Okun, senior advisor at international trade consultancy McLarty Associates and a former deputy general counsel at the U.S. transportation department.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/markets/trump-bailed-on-a-trade-deal-and-now-a-bunch-of-us-businesses-may-suffer/ar-BBETtFL?li=BBnb7Kz

    And then Trump visited with Duterte and the murders began

    • clubseal

      The TPP wasn’t just opposed by Trump…

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Globalization of the economy is another inconvenient truth.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      No! The very people whom wanted Trump to fuck over the TPP will pay first and most now that he has? If *only* there had been some way to know that Trump would be an unmitigated disaster!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’m going to have this headache for three more years, aren’t I? Fuck.

    • Am i still Ok to buy Advil or have they done something derpy?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        At least you’ve got Superman in charge, and can smoke weed in a few months… :

      • David Chaillou

        Like buying politicians to continue delivering massive shareholder dividends at the expense of the American social security? No, I don’t think they have done anything derpier recently.

  • Covfefe

    Maybe to me but I thought we were supposed to Dunn our Keurigs, not our Kreugers.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Sorry James Comey, but the actual Bible quote is “But let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like and ever-flowing stream of Russian whore pee on the face of an idiot shit gibbon.”
    Amos 5:24, King Curtis Bible

    • Oblios_Cap

      What did Andy have to say about all that?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I thought he was the one who didn’t talk.

        Oh wait, that’s Silent Bob

    • Anna Rompage

      I hope whoever was being peed on, at least had the common sense to wear one of those cheap, plastic, lobster bibs…

      • bubbuhh

        Lobster bibs ain’t kosher during pee on face

    • Eileen Besse

      King Crimson libelz!!!!1

    • SDGeoff3

      That is how we learned it.

    • David Chaillou
  • Nephilim

    President Trump is demonstrating that you can be obsessed with the idea of power and go to absurd lengths to show you have it, but just wind up proving that you’re weaker than anyone thought.

    • David Chaillou

      No deep thoughts outside of office hours please.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    On a scale of 1 to “even a turnip would know better,” how dumb is it for a president under investigation to call people in the intelligence community “hacks”?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Shhhhh!

    • Eleventy billion. (This calls for more than 42)

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Turnip Infinity and Beyond + 1.

    • marxalot

      Pancake.

    • gallbladder

      Let’s not go about insulting turnips now, okay?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      Especially if they have a copy of the pee pee tapes.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      it’s all he’s got left, whistling past the graveyard

    • coozledad

      Especially when one of them has said “That boy’s gonna die in jail.”

    • Little Lulu Ω

      I’d say…to the lunch pail I took to school in 2nd grade

  • ArgieBargie

    For the record, no amount of Comey goodwill will ever make up for his actions two weeks before the election.

    But yeah, sure, well played, Jim.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

    I still fucking hate Comey, but I can appreciate a good subtweet.

    • Persistent Demme

      Yeah, it’s the least he can do.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
  • BearGHAZI
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    OT but Moore is losing by 4% in latest polling. It’s landline only and (I think) skews older, both of which I’d expect to benefit Moore.

    http://winwithjmc.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/11/Alabama-Senate-Executive-Summary-General-Election-Poll-2.pdf

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Forget it, Jake, it’s Alabama.

      Hillary had a 99% chance of winning — but 538 didn’t count the votes coming from Moscow or the Elbridge Gerry effect.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well, ot but very interesting. The wholly incompetent and totally unqualified fucker left out an interesting detail.

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/930122562851483648

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DOh5cYBVQAAfKn0.jpg

    • SDGeoff3

      Lovely.

    • gallbladder

      Nice hair. All that’s missing is the propeller.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      These fuckers are really, really bad at filling out forms.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Who could blame him for leaving that out? In 2017 you only have to confess if you’re related to a libtard. Republicans and/or Russians are just fine with the republican-led committees who vet these things.

    • proudgrampa

      Jeez-us

    • As an artist I have problems with the way God created his face.

  • Oblios_Cap

    D’Cheater D’shithead has “thoughts”:

    https://twitter.com/AngrierWHStaff/status/930124254678568961

  • Courser_Resistance

    These days I feel like I live on an island of Sanity and Compassion in a sea of sharks and the Rocks of Ultimate Destruction thousands of miles to the east of us.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I was hoping to float away on an iceberg of sanity and compassion. Then I realized that the cold stuff is all melted away, and (((Iceberg))) sounds too “parenthetical” to be acceptable in the American Fourth Reich.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • SweetDeeKat

    The Comey tweets calmed me down greatly, and this morning was a doozy. Please, more Comey thoughts.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • gallbladder

      I want much, much worse for him. Cattle prods and saltwater would be involved for starters.

      • William
        • jowgajen

          Come on. That’s not acceptable.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yeah…could have done without that.

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          needs moar diarrhea

        • Jim QuinnX

          That reminds me. Michigan State University just outlawed all fraternities, because awfulness.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        and electrodes and a chainsaw

        of votes…

      • SisterArtemis

        You know, we can fantasize all we want about the kinds of things we’d consider horrible, but the worst thing for li’l Donnie would be humiliation, and a lack of notoriety. Oh, and also too less gold paint on things.

        But seriously, to really put this guy in his place, remove all forms of flattery, all forms of praise, all forms of “famous” or “better than” or anything reeking of superiority. The guy has a major inferiority complex, and that’s where to hit him if you really want to cause damage.

        • Spurning Beer

          Laugh at him. Not with him; at him.

          • SisterArtemis

            Yep, that definitely gets his ire up.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      He’s absolutely right, and it’s just too bad that the people who need to be outraged by what he’s written will never read it because it was in the Times and not on the blog of some rando on the interwebs.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        FAKE NEWS!

  • William
    • SDGeoff3

      Sweet.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Remarkable moment today between Duterte, Trump, and the media, per pool:

    Duterte: “We will be discussing matters that are of interest to both the Philippines and… with you around, guys, you are the spies.”
    “Hah, hah, hah,” Trump said laughing.
    “You are,” Duterte repeated.

    • bubbuhh

      Mebbe, they’ll talk about how best to kill nosy reporters also too. “Hah, hah, hah.”

  • yyyaz

    And when Putin receives the ashes, he will scatter them at his feet and piss on them while laughing.

    • Weird Fishes

      “Just like your hookers…tovarisch.”

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Mah Birfday is Tuesday, November 21st. Could I haz some indictments, pleeze?

    • Oblios_Cap

      What would you like to plead “not guilty” to?

      • redarmyzombie

        All of them, Katie.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I would like some for MAH birfday on the 25th. I know I’m being greedy but I call Jared and IQ45 Jr.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        That is being greedy, but I’ll settle for Flynn and his spawn. But I’d sheet cake for an Eric indictment for fraud.

  • AJ Milne

    Great Falls _is_ pretty nice.

  • tehbaddr

    NOT A HACK! NOT A HACK! YOU’RE THE HACK!

  • TJ Barke

    The people that piss and moan most about sovereignty are the ones ceding sovereignty to Russia…

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I thought “sovereignty” meant “guns.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        No, in their case, it means they know fuck all about anything.

    • jesterpunk

      But thats different Russians are white and strong sounding.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I was alone with Vlad in the back of the limo and next thing I knew, I had lost my sovereignty.

  • OT: I followed the link to this video about the proposed tax plan posted by the CBN (Christian Bible Network, where Trump has made appearances)
    https://youtu.be/qeXVagwsMmk
    They show mostly FOX clips, and have Schumer captioned as a Republican. They are masters at unbiased journalism just as Brett Talley is a master at trying cases.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i am surprised they donut always follow judge roy’s name with a (D)

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Roy Moore (D-uggar)

    • Richard Aahs

      Tell a big lie tell it often and people will surely believe it.
      Almost sounds like Religion.

  • “Vlad, may I call you, Vlad?”
    “Eh… no.”
    “Deeply sorry, Mr. Putin. Look, I don’t want to ask, but I have to ask, did you interfere in our election?”
    ‘Personally? Eh… no. I have people for that. You have people for that. We all have people for that. Now be a good boy and put in the ball gag for Uncle Vladdie.”
    “Yes, sir.”

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I find it ironic that the most honest thing the Idiot in Chief has said is in defense of a liar he wishes to believe is telling the truth.

  • Zippy W Pinhead
  • Jenny

    I shall use the words of the great American poet, Tupac Shakur, to describe the assmouth in chief.

    He’s a mark-ass bitch.

    • MynameisBlarney

      A trick-ass mark!
      A mark-ass bustah!

    • Arolpin

      A woman at the table next to me at Red Rooster last night was wearing these socks. Yes, I’ve already looked them up and will be buying them for certain people for Xmas. They really are brilliant.

      https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0066/5282/products/FF-J-01_-_Tupacca_-_web.jpg?v=1490890464

      • Jenny

        Uhhh I need those.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Send a twitter thing to the sock collector in my avatar. That’s adorable.

  • Wow, Comey is so witty that he probably should have had a seat at the Algonquin Round Table.

  • MynameisBlarney

    53 pastors endorse Moore.
    I’d say there’s 53 pastors that are potential pedo’s themselves.

    http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/11/53_pastors_sign_letter_of_supp.html#incart_river_home

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      As long as he hates the gheys and sluts and is anti abortion, he could molest a child live on TeeVee and these hateful hypocrites would still support him…

      • proudgrampa

        Or on 5th Ave.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        I can imagine their reaction: “They had her hog tied to a stake and she was crying telling them to let her go. She totally provoked him!”

      • MynameisBlarney

        Actually, I think that might be too much for some of them.

        • redarmyzombie

          Unfortunately, I learned long ago not to give them premature credit…

      • Roadstergal

        As long as it was a girl child.

      • coozledad

        Hell, he’s even done it live, and it doesn’t matter. He acts so thirsty I wonder what’s really up with him.

    • Mary Theresa

      They probably should have waited a little longer. Gloria Allred will be giving a news conference today at 2:30 ET with a new accuser.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        doesn’t matter- you can only burn in hell for eternity once- they already made their deal

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Wait, are we live blooging?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Who knew Alabama is a, “Hey, if there’s grass on the playing field, ” state? I always thought they were more of a, “Hey, if there’s sheep in the field…” state.

      • coozledad

        Or a “There’s hair on that monkey” versus a “Lets hire us a monkey” state.

    • The Wanderer

      Don’t you wish the stars had fallen on Alabama?

    • Ling Ling

      Spin up a grand jury…

    • therblig

      is Pastor Fuzz among them?

    • coozledad

      Given the number of pastors and music ministers and youth pastors who got caught fucking and sucking their congregants and youthful charges while I was in high school in Durham in the late seventies, I’m betting there’s a whole syndicate of them.

  • OneYieldRegular

    “Your Honor, I very strongly, vehemently deny that I had anything to do with all those bodies in my basement.”

    “Well that’s enough for me. Members of the jury, please ignore all the evidence and testimony and vote to exonerate.”

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    A tweet from like the Amos quote from a low key, aw shucks guy like Comey who happened to be a former FBI Director would be worrisome to anyone with more smarts than Trump. What Comey is really saying is this: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/110424563ae7e2dedb2db13ec3f900db4af8b53c1545fd583ba5eb90548fb203.jpg

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Why, Johnny Ringo- you look like someone just walked over your grave!

      • Gussie Jives

        Rest in peace, Powers Boothe.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Johnny Ringo was smarter than Trump. The Clantons are another story.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        You can hear Mueller saying “Im your huckleberry”

  • Daniel

    “Those were the most ridiculous statements,” Mnuchin said. “President Trump is not getting played by anybody.”

    Right. How is Mnuchin playing Trump?

  • proudgrampa

    Amos ain’t no Jeremiah:

    For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – 29:11

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      I thought Jeremiah was a bullfrog. No relation to Pepe, I take it.

      • Daniel

        Couldn’t say for sure- I knew Jeremiah well, but he was mostly incomprehensible. The wine might have had something to do with that.

      • Arolpin

        Those accusations that I am a bullfrog are false. I respect bullfrogs, but I am not one of them. That being said, I would be a bullfrog for all of time before I would consider being compared to that nazi fuck, Pepe. (It’s actually Peepee, but they Nazi-ized it.)

    • The Wanderer

      I like this one:

      When your enemies plotted against you, to kill you or to drive you from your home, they plotted well. But God plotted too, and God is the best of plotters.

      — The Qur’an, “The Spoils”

  • Rick Hill

    Isn’t it amazing how much worse the trump administration(sic) is turning out to be, much worse, than we ever feared?

    • mackafritz

      But, if Hillary had been elected we would be in World War III.

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        And FEMA camps ghey marrying our pets.

        • Roadstergal

          And taco trucks on every corner. It would have been awesome!

          • C4TWOMAN

            I want a taco.

          • Parakeetist

            Nom nom nom

          • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

            It’s Taco Tuesday Eve! We’re having tacos in my house tonight.

          • Johnatx

            There is one down the street from me. Awesome breakfast tacos

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            We went out for tacos last night (my favorite chain doesn’t have trucks, but they have three places nearby that are obviously authentic, and Sunday is pozole night!) and I think my husband and I were making weird moaning sounds when we ate our food. It was just that perfect.

      • MynameisBlarney

        And thespian farmers would take over farmers markets in rural ‘Merka.

        • theCryptofishist

          So, that’s why they are trying to defund Farmers’ Markets.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Aye.
            They hate musicals THAT fucking much!

        • ((( Augustus )))

          THE DEVIOUS THESPIANS !!

      • coozledad

        And I still haven’t seen Susan Sarandon on the barricades.

    • Beautiful Soup

      I did not anticipate his power to make a week feel like a month.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Yeh, we’ve had this argument before.
        Of course we knew it was going to be bad. But the degree and speed of which we’re racing, er, falling to the bottom, is unprecedented, even by political experts one our side.

        IMHO people are falling into logical fallacies because of understandable stress and frustration. But thinking in absolutes gets in the way of problem solving.

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          The story peeking through the cracks is that he’s really deteriorating mentally, everything else is distracting from that, I think. We might wind up with a 25th amendment after all.

          • Jmom

            Vincent Gigante defense?

      • Y. Pestis

        Like John Oliver said, it’s like being killed by an orange sloth.

        • Roadstergal

          That was a very good and very depressing episode.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      No, we knew it would be this bad.

      • Persistent Demme

        We knew the presidency would be this bad, but I never expected the GOP to back a pedophile.
        (But I’m not surprised.)

    • You must have been listening to those pivot guys; I always knew it would be this bad.

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        He might still pivot.

        • theCryptofishist

          Divoting is more likely.

    • Johnatx

      Yep. Just wait until they fill all the vacancies in the federal judiciary. That is when democracy will truly die. Those fuckers will be around for 30 years

    • coozledad

      It also amazes me how much shit his base will eat. If I’d have known how much, I’d have opened a mall front shit candy factory .

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I have to admit that I figured we’d all be dead by now.

      Come to think of it, not sure this is an upgrade.

    • Cat Cafe

      It’s more horrifying that most of us predicted this, including Our Hillz, but no one listened

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Fun fact, Hillary’s real name is Cassandra.

  • Roadstergal

    Trump can be played by giving him the most superficial outward signs of honor and pomp? Knock me over with that feather that’s floating around the world.

    Also, Comey? Don’t forget your part in this.

  • laughingnome

    Okay – interesting that Comey features a photo of the Potomac. American traitor Robert Hanssen was caught doing drops to Russian spies in a part near the Potomac.

    • Ling Ling

      Oh, ya. That is true. Also, Hanssen was FBI

      • Johnatx

        And Hanssen is rotting in the supermax federal facility in Florence, Colorado. He is serving 15 life sentences. Just thinking about 45 joining him makes me smile

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m pretty sure that Comey is playing 11th dimension chess. I’m 98% sure that is no accident. I’ve kind of been watching and when Comey tweets, they’re super-deep, spy-level shit. I’m sure the intel types are pouring every letter.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, I get it now.

  • Scooby

    The Russians have to be worried that this was so easy it must be a trap.

    • The Wanderer

      No, they’re playing a long game. Him running for Prez was a bonus, one they were quick to exploit.

      I think they’ve had their hooks in him since about 1990.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup.

      • SisterArtemis

        This is my best guess as well. I think they were fucking with elections before 2016, (though perhaps not so effectively) and in this particular cycle, wanted to destabilize the presumed next Prez, our HRC. She is onto Putin, and Putin knows it. Trump was just an incredible bonus to them, a well-placed idiot for them to manipulate like… yes… you know it…. a puppet.
        and, of course, obligatory:
        https://i.imgflip.com/1cnkoc.jpg

        • bbayliss

          Definitely the birther crap, and probably before.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          What I can’t quite figure out about his face is why sometimes you can tell he has had a facelift and sometimes you can’t. Is it only when he tries to glare?

      • bbayliss

        This is the most extensive (exhaustive, exhausting) time line on trump I know of.
        It has his first russian sale of property to a russian thug at 1984.
        It’s interactive, and one could easily spend a week or two exploring it.
        http://billmoyers.com/story/trump-russia-timeline/

  • James Baskin

    “I mean, give me a break,”
    Ladies and gentleman, I give you, the POTUS.

    • Spurning Beer

      Wharton school. Such IQ. Best words.

  • canes_pugnaces

    I read an interesting opinion piece yesterday (please don’t ask me where or by whom) on my Sunday morning coffee-fueled media binge. The point was this: Trump isn’t president. Trump is producing the first epic reality TV show, in which he is the star. It is so appalling on the money. The fucking guys doesn’t care about anything. Only that all eyes are on him. And Americans participate in the show, yes even us. But most of all he has conscripted the media to shoot and distribute for free.

    • redarmyzombie

      So, the revolution *will* be televised?

      • Spurning Beer

        And whitey’s on the moon.

    • C4TWOMAN

      It’s like that Doctor Who episode where people have to play a game show for their life…

      • Blanche de Shambles

        When do we get to the part where Daleks start coming out of the Lincoln Bedroom?

        Because that would actually be kind of cool.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Even then, they didn’t really die, though.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        “You are live on channel 44,000. Please do not swear.”

    • Cat Cafe

      That is so exactly right. GOD.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      The Trumpman Show

  • susan_g

    Cheeto loves Putin bigly but he also loves Xi and he also loves Duterte. Cheeto is a slut.

  • Crz

    That’s the “Great Falls” of the Potomac? Looks like someone left a hose running.

  • Jim QuinnX

    Am I the only one who detects a definite improvement in the news these days? Between Roy Moore, Putin and Mueller, every day in every way things are getting better.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      They’re distracting from Donnie’s increasing mental deterioration, which just might turn out to be the real story.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Mueller? ? ? i’ve not herd nuttin

    • OrG

      I’m so tired of winning.

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        I don’t think we’re actually winning.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Careful. As any good snake handler knows, it’s the death throes you really have to watch out for.

  • Any chance Comey and Clapper can get libel charges against him?

  • BadKitty904
    • coozledad

      Who give him feedbag before ride? He is with colic.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    OT – My Milan Missile Section is in-hand.

    I think the Postman likes me, he gives me my packages earlier than the other folks. Do you think it’s the Booty shorts and Wedge heels?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yes?

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Ooh, tell us more . . .

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Well, it’s Sunny and in the mid-60s, and with that new 19-year-old girl wearing her Booty shorts yesterday I did not want to let down the side.

        I saw the same guys that were hovering around her checking me out.

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Yikes, I put on my long johns if it’s in the 60s! (Well, just to be safe, you know.) But I’m intrigued by Sexxeh Postman, I’m jealous . . .

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Oh, he’s cute. :) 30s, shaved head, Tribal Tats on his arms.

            We’ll see. He’s always been friend;y, and he knows when I walk up by the sounds of my heels on the sidewalk.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Same guys? Moore, O’Reilly, Louis, Harvey…..

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Eww! Bite your tongue, Sir!

            My neighbors may be young and dumb, but I do not think they are evil.

    • Persistent Demme

      Maybe he just likes you.

      (I know. Cock-eyed optimist.)

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        xD

    • lroom

      It’s the booty shorts. It’s always the booty shorts.

    • Indeniable Ron

      You might be one of the few people on his route who doesn’t treat him like part of the scenery. They appreciate that.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        :) I try to be nice to folks, especially if they are nice to me.

  • coozledad

    “I think the country is ready to move on off of this and focus on important issues,” he said.

    Yasss. Like is there a good freight elevator in you apartment building so we don’t have to make too many trips WHEN WE RANSACK IT FOR YOUR GODDAMN FURNITURE?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      That is a perfectly logical question to ask. If you are a ransacker.

  • Bigby

    Comey? Quoting the bible? How *dare* that evil, atheist, Muslim, socialist, fascist traitor (except when he was ruining Hitlery, that was cool) use OUR bible against OUR MAGA Savior, the most righteous Christian Man™ evar!

    –Some Wingnut, probably

  • Shan

    Now I feel like it’s important to know when Putin’s birthday is.

    • Oblios_Cap

      In Russia, Birthday has you!

    • jesterpunk
      • Spurning Beer

        Less than a week younger than my wife! We’ll have to invite him and Mrs P. over for our next clam bake.

        • SisterArtemis

          Be sure to get those canned ones, especially for Mr. P

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Creepy. He’s 16 days older than my mom, who is about the furthest opposite from the evil czar as you can get. “American by birth and Canadian by heart”. Born on the wrong side of the border.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Since 1/21/2017, every day is Putin’s birthday.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      October 7 – we just missed it!

      • Shan

        Dammit!

    • Daniel

      But what do you get for the man who has everything?
      Now.

      • jesterpunk

        Alaska?

      • Lazyjay

        Penicillin

  • Blanche de Shambles

    That’s right. Let’s ignore whether America’s oldest enemy is literally inside the White House

    Zombie George III?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Put On Your War Paint!

      “Think warm thoughts, Butt Boy!”

    • Daniel

      Is this following Trump’s liposuction?

    • Master Contrail Program

      A meeting of the Polypburrow.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        *golf clap*

    • susan_g

      A tough job as she first had to pull out the dozen roses.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Brain surgery.

    • bbayliss

      “If by a “Liberal” they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a “Liberal”, then I’m proud to say I’m a “Liberal.” JFK

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Y’know, in The Hunt for Red October, when Captain Ramius kills the Zampolit so the sub can try to defect? The Zampolit’s name was Putin.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Slipped on his tea, lol.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        “Yesh.”

        “And we will lishten to their Rock and Roll, while we conduct Misshile Drillsh.”

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      “So he was murdered! The man was a pig!”

    • SisterArtemis

      I love that movie. I love the story, I love the characters, I love the lighting, I love the framing. Then I read the book, and was fairly bored. The movie, however, is one of those ones that, should it pop up on a channel somewhere, I can’t stop watching it.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        I enjoy the book, but it is really technical, the major detail Clancy gets wrong is Sonar guys didn’t use headphones in the Eighties. They were using visual “Waterfall” displays to track data gathered by Sonar.

        The film is a masterpiece, IMHO, it improves on the novel, and is a really tight, tense drama that respects the audience and the characters.

  • BadKitty904
    • OrG

      Yikes!

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      It’s an improvement in looks, as well as accurate in fact.

  • Given the issues at hand, maybe Comey should have included a picture of the Yellow River instead.

    • Indeniable Ron

      That works on SO many levels.

  • MynameisBlarney

    LOL

    Cop’s brawl each other in turf war over drug riddled area, residents look on with much amusement.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/11/astonished-neighbors-watch-detroit-cops-brawl-each-other-in-undercover-drug-sting-gone-wrong/

    • Antonin Dvorak

      No, you are under arrest!

      • MynameisBlarney

        STOP RESISTING!

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          F’TANG! F’TANG!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    ♫ Folks, here’s a story ’bout Stevie the Mnoocher
    He was a cold-fish coochie-poocher
    He was the nerdiest nerd you’d ever see
    But Mnoochie had a heart the size of a pea.

    Goldi-goldie-goldi-gold (goldi-goldie-goldi-gold)
    Sa-a-a-a-achs (sa-a-a-a-achs)
    Off-shore-off-shore-off-shore-off-shore-off (off-shore-off-shore-off-shore-off-shore-off)
    He-e-e-e-e-e-edge (he-e-e-e-e-e-edge)

    He messed around with a gal named Linton
    He looked hot if she was squintin’
    Grabbed a plane, took her golden locks
    And he showed her how to rip off ol’ Fort Knox.

    Goldi-goldie-goldi-gold (goldi-goldie-goldi-gold)
    Sa-a-a-a-achs (sa-a-a-a-achs)
    Skeevy-skeevy-skeevy-skeeve (skeevy-skeevy-skeevy-skeeve)
    He-e-e-e-e-e-edge (he-e-e-e-e-e-edge)

    He had a dream about the good Tsar Putin
    Vlad gave him things, so he was rootin’.
    Got a Rooshie turd, a solid-gold dump
    And all he had to do was pump and hump Donald Trump.

    Goldi-goldie-goldi-gold (goldi-goldie-goldi-gold)
    Sa-a-a-a-achs (sa-a-a-a-achs)
    Skip-de-ethics-skip-de-ethics-skippty-oh (skip-de-ethics-skip-de-ethics-skippty-oh)
    Buggery-thuggery-muggery-oh (buggery-thuggery-muggery-oh)

    So that’s the tale of Stevie the Mnoocher
    Except for Trump, few are louche-er
    Dodged him some tax but it’s gettin’ real,
    Now it’s time to make a real, live Mu-mu-ueller deal.

    Goldi-goldie-goldi-gold (goldi-goldie-goldi-gold)
    Sa-a-a-a-achs (sa-a-a-a-achs)
    Off-shore-off-shore-off-shore-off-shore-off (off-shore-off-shore-off-shore-off-shore-off)
    He-e-e-e-e-e-edge (he-e-e-e-e-e-edge) ♫

  • beingreleased
    • Mehmeisterjr

      When the ostentatious showing-off stops, he must know that the end is near.

      Aside: Hi, Louise. I’m nothing much to look at either but I wouldn’t touch you with the Mnuch’s dick times ten.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      As a quiet car regular, I give this Toobin permission to engage in low decibal and very annoying behavior next to Mnuchin (crack gum, type loudly on his laptop, clear his throat every 15 seconds…)

  • laughingnome

    Are we live blogging the Allred presser?

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    OT – The Milan Group has enough men that I can add a Milan Section to my Irish Guards *and* do an Airmobile Milan Platoon in Lynx Helicopters. Hilarity will ensue if I land Gordon Highlanders with Milan behind Soviet tanks!

    Milan was the best man-portable Anti-tank system possessed by NATO. Naturally, the US did not field it.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      Is there any possibility of nuclear things? I love nuclear things.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fReCrjZ6iVc

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Not in Team Yankee, but with these same minis I’m looking at 2 other rules sets: “Sabre Squadron” and soon Plastic Soldier is releasing “Battlegroup NORTHAG”. I’m hoping NORTHAG has rules for Tactical Nuclear Weapons.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Oh Goodness. The Davy Crockett was *the* dumbest system fielded by the US Army. You can’t even launch it far enough to be clear of it’s Blast Effect!

        • Meccalopolis

          nuclear artillery shells, what could go wrong?

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Right? This thing is more of a Mortar, even dumber. My Dad was in the Dental Corps, he was stationed at Fort Sill where they had Atomic Annie, the nuclear-artillery cannon.

          • Meccalopolis

            that’s right! nuclear mortars! I think the cannon at least let you escape the immediate blast zone. fallout? you’re on your own, pal

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          But did it kill them a bar when they wuz only three?

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c81dca1325679a9350d561432406181c1b2ef58edfcd6386aac13792c38c05fb.gif

            The M-388 could be launched from either of two launchers known as the Davy Crockett Weapon System(s): the 4.7-inch (120 mm) M28, with a range of about 1.25 mi (2 km), or the 6.1-in (155 mm) M29, with a range of 2.5 mi (4 km). Both weapons used the same projectile, and were either mounted on a tripod launcher transported by an armored personnel carrier, or they were carried by a Jeep (M-38 & later M-151). The Jeep was equipped with an attached launcher for the M28 or the M29, as required, whereas the Davy Crockett carried by an armored personnel carrier was set up in the field on a tripod away from the carrier. The Davy Crocketts were operated by a three-man crew. In the 3rd Armored Division in Germany in the 1960s many Davy Crockett Sections (all of which were in the Heavy Mortar Platoons, in Headquarters Companies of Infantry or Armor Maneuver Battalions) received what became a mix of M28 & M29 launchers [e.g., one of each per D/C section]. Eventually, the M28s were replaced by M29s, so that both the armored personnel carriers and the Jeeps carried the M29.

            Both recoilless guns proved to have poor accuracy in testing, so the shell’s greatest effect would have been its extreme radiation hazard. The M-388 would produce an almost instantly lethal radiation dosage (in excess of 10,000 rem, 100 Sv) within 500 feet (150 m), and a probably fatal dose (around 600 rem, 6 Sv) within a quarter mile (400 m).[5] The weapon did not have an abort function; if fired, the warhead would explode.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Davy_Crockett_(nuclear_device)

          • Mehmeisterjr

            George H.W. must wish that he did.

          • Cooked it, too!

  • beingreleased

    https://twitter.com/RightWingWatch/status/930153527321784323
    I dare you to refute this logic, libtards!

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Oh fuck these Conspiracy Idiots.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Ok…wow.

      That is just stupid as fucking hell.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • bubbuhh

      Crokin is a old zombie family name. Means “Brainz Ded.”

    • Master Contrail Program

      These kooks would be a lot funnier if they didn’t number in the millions.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Pope Benedict famously wore red shoes. Here I thought he only covered up for pedophiles, now we know the rest of the story.

    • Timothy Watson

      I thought red shoes were a sign of being a member of the Bloods, a street gang.

    • Chyron HR

      Do they understand that Tony is a different Podesta from the one they said was ordering underage sex with extra cheese?

      • MynameisBlarney

        I really fucking doubt it.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        That’s the trouble with Pavlovian conditioning – you get them to froth at the word “Podesta” and it’s hard to turn it off.

        • Master Contrail Program

          Podesta, podiatrist. Something’s afoot! Suck on that toe, libtards!

    • jesterpunk

      Wait so red shoes means pedophile but actually having sex with a 14 year old doesn’t?

    • mackafritz

      I think it the angels that want to wear red shoes.

      • Lurkylu

        yay!

        **dances madly in my cublcle**

    • Oblios_Cap

      I thought they wore them because if they’re tapped together three times, you can get home without taking a cab.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Uber and Lyft put them out of business.

    • Master Contrail Program
    • jowgajen

      Liz sounds literally psychotic. She needs help with her delusions.

    • MizzMazz

      I’ve studied the occult deeply for many, many years, and there is no red shoe thing. I’ve known all flavors of Pagans, Witches, satanists, and there is no red show thing, unless you happen to like red shoes.

      • jowgajen

        I didn’t watch the video, but I’m going with the pic of a couple dozen rich white guys wearing special red shoes as being some sort of charity or community event rather than an occult ritual.

      • beingreleased

        Actual facts have no place in this discussion.

        • MizzMazz

          Sorry. Won’t happen again ;)

          • beingreleased

            We’re sick of you “experts” and your “expert opinions.”

          • MizzMazz

            Sighs, and puts away wizard robe, hat and staff.

    • Khavrinen

      “the Illuminati uses “The Wizard of Oz” to mind control child sex slaves.”

      RWNJs all seem to think that “mind control” is both super easy and really effective.

      Wonder what that implies about their minds, hmm?

    • proudgrampa

      Uh, wow. That logic IS pretty hard to refute…

  • Daniel Hooper

    “…as it is obvious to anyone who is currently awake that Putin plays Trump like the G-string on a fiddle.”

    I stopped for a second after reading the word G-String and got another mental image I don’t need. Damn it, Wonkette; why is only on my lunch breaks that you seem to do this?!

  • bubbuhh

    Putin sends out a siren song to Trump

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUJVzez1mT0

    • proudgrampa

      I loves me some G & O!!!

  • beingreleased

    I’d make a terrible Christian. I think pedophilia is wrong.
    https://twitter.com/aldotcom/status/930151303313051648

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He probably polls well with Catholic priests and the Boston archdiocese.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Can’t see who it is in the comment, but Moore is an old-fashioned good ol’ boy Southern WASP fundagelical. They hate Catholics with a searing passion. But they certainly have some overlap, in that even papists embrace rapists.

        • TootsStansbury

          Papists excuse rapists and fundies remove the undies.

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Muslims try to muzzle ’em, while Hubbard locks the cupboard and the rabbi concocts an alibi?

            OK, this got dark. But then, organized religion (read: crime) isn’t exactly enlightened either.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Never seen so many people clamor for places on a sinking ship.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        You are right. Don’t remember stories about anyone trying to get on the Titanic after it hit the iceberg.

      • proudgrampa

        Maybe it’s their Rapture.

        May they be Raptured. Leave the rest of us in peace.

      • ImGoingBacon

        The silver lining is this: now you know for sure who those people are, no guessing.

    • Edith Prickly

      Pervy grifters gotta stick together.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Allred is late. Women, amiright?

    • OutOfOrbit

      there is always a women invilved

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    I can’t even.

    Duterte Serenades Trump: ‘You Are the Light of My World’

    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/donald-trump/duterte-serenades-trump-you-are-light-my-world-n820201

  • MynameisBlarney

    Meanwhilst, in the Batcave!

    https://i.imgur.com/qdIgSiq.jpg

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Superman: has a Fortress of Solitude in the Arctic, to which he invites his Girlfriend, Lois Lane.

      Batman – keeps Lube in his Utility Belt and lives in a Cave with a teenager that has no pants.

      • OutOfOrbit

        these super-heroes are a odd bunch

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          ‘S why I prefer Captain America and the Black Widow.

          • MynameisBlarney
          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Yeah, there is a ton of Ho-Yay between Cap and Tony. :) Even in the movies they do a *lot* of eye-play.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I didn’t notice that actually.
            Gonna have to watch them again.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            xD Cap has chemistry with *every* guy. Way more than with Black Widow.

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            I wonder why that is . . .

          • Put On Your War Paint!
          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            slaaaaaash

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6bffcc5c62dcdbd0c1202a1dadf224be72067c10afda5bbf120aa39eeb62c3dd.gif

            If you look carefully during The Winter Soldier Natasha gets in the way of Sam and Steve *and* of Bucky and Steve. They could have called it “Black Widow Cockblocker”.

          • jesterpunk

            I like Wolverine and Deadpool, they both are sarcastic assholes. Especially the part where Wolverine flips off Cyclops with his middle claw.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Yes! I could always relate to Wolverine, he would take the younger X-Men under is wing and teach them to fight.

          • MizzMazz

            I like Deadpool because he talks like I do. Finally someone else who says, “Shitfuckshitfuck!”

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            Don’t forget he is a Sexy Motherfucker!

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            Wolvie’s Canuckistani. I take it he said sorry afterwards.

      • therblig

        Cyclops: can’t take his glasses off

        • MynameisBlarney

          Sure he can…
          Just don’t blame him for the results.

      • MizzMazz

        Bwahahaha!

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          Stolen from SFDebris.com

          • MizzMazz

            It’s just when you put it like that it seems so…wrong >:)

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        “Superman: has a Fortress of Solitude in the Arctic, to which he invites his Girlfriend, Lois Lane.”

        Oh, so that’s where Pierre had a fling with Margot Kidder. I guess Google Maps found Kal-El and Sophie’s honeymoon suite?

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          OOooh, me likey!

    • Oblios_Cap

      Robin must have been driving a pretty hard bargain…

    • therblig
    • Master Contrail Program
    • Master Contrail Program

      Even once-wholesome Riverdale has given into boundless depravity.

      I always knew that Jughead was no good. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0ef70476726a93bd2ada05106f6a1acc7fd224cbd9d158b554f74d89f5c0389f.jpg

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        eww

      • ImGoingBacon

        Watch out! This will be in an episode of next season’s ‘Riverdale’

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Oh, a former drug lobbyist to replace Tom Price? Why the fuck not?

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/13/politics/alex-azar-health-and-human-services-secretary/index.html

    • jowgajen

      He’s not a drug lobbyist. He was the US President of Lilly, Corp until recently. Before that, he was the Assistant HHS Secretary under W. Before that, he was HHS Legal Counsel. And before that, a fancy Yale lawyer.

      So, he’s perfectly qualified. AND he’s in bed with corporate interests. In other words, a completely mainstream Republican candidate.

      Shorthanding him to drug lobbyist does us all a disservice. We are stoking Bernie-style bumper sticker anxiety rather than directly addressing the issue.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I stand corrected. Except standing is hard, so I am sitting.

        • jowgajen

          Let me get you a drink. :)

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Anotherwards, a bog standard Washington swamp creature.

        • jowgajen

          You didn’t actually believe Turnip would drain the swamp what brung him, did you?

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/courts_law/supreme-court-takes-case-on-free-speech-rights-of-antiabortion-counseling-centers/2017/11/13/cd2003f8-c882-11e7-aa96-54417592cf72_story.html?utm_term=.acf3e4aff70e

    Well, I’m sure this will result in a totally above-board ruling that won’t in any way be a rubber-stamp of busybody lunatic behavior and also further restrict abortion access, just because.

    • ariel_gee_398

      My favorite bit of the First Amendment/CPC cases is that they can say whatever the fuck they want because they don’t provide medical care. States can force doctors to lie to patients about abortion, because doctors are regulated and licensed. But some unlicensed religious whackjob with an ultrasound machine can’t be forced to tell the truth because of the First Amendment.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        It’s never really made sense to me why medicine has no legal requirements for dispensing advice, since the legal profession has its own standard on laymen giving legal advice. If you present yourself as a lawyer and give legal advice, but aren’t licensed, that’s Unauthorized Practice of Law. The medical profession kinda sorely needs something similar, since it would simultaneously crack down on the CPC’s and quack medicine.

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          But what about the woo industry? Won’t someone PLEASE think of the woo industry?!?!?

        • Petunia Cat

          There are laws against practising medicine without a license. Hmmm. Maybe they should be used against those Crisis Pregnancy shit boxes?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Uh oh. Gloria Allred now representing one of Moore’s accusers.

    • gallbladder

      Look out.

    • puredog

      And just to be clear, this is a new accuser. Flirting with her when she was 15, nonconsensual sexual contact when she was 16 (16 is the age of consent in Alabama).

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Fuck. Pooting spoke to The Dolt so dipshit will be in a good mood. He’ll be writing VP+DT=4EVER, and DONALD J. PUTIN on his White House stationary and drawing little hearts around them. And Dua…Doa…, the fucking Filipino guy will be so jealous! He’ll probably take back the song he sang for Dolt! Totalitarian love is so disturbing.

  • OddMan

    Even our little hometown rag had a front page story above the fold on this. With the headline of “Former CIA chief: Putin influences Trump with lattery” right next to the story of the new nature trail that has opened, so this is news even in small town California.
    I must say I do like your headline much better Evan,
    How Many Former Intel Chiefs Called Trump Putin’s Buttboy This Weekend? ALL OF THEM, KATIE.
    It has that certain je ne sais quoi.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Was it a misprint or did it say flattery. I normally wouldn’t say, but it looks like he won him over with the Boston version of the Lotto.

      • Master Contrail Program

        Perhaps he bribed him with some wicked tuner, kid.

        https://youtu.be/1LmlwDFvGow

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Looks like a sunfish?

          • Master Contrail Program

            Pretty sure that sea monstah’s a wheee-el.

          • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

            Good eye! A sunfish is exactly what it is.

      • OddMan

        Oops my typo. Lattery does sound interesting though.

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      Do you live in Arcata?

      • OddMan

        No, further down the coast, Central Coast.

        • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

          Ah. My late brother lived in Weed.

  • Viktor

    We haven’t had a real crisis yet, but in the event we do, the poorly trained, understaffed, and under qualified White House will have it all under control. Anyone here work construction and have a rough estimate on a home under ground bunker? Thanks.

    • beingreleased

      “We haven’t had a real crisis yet,”

      Tell that to Puerto Rico. Which FEMA now says is fixed.

      • Viktor

        If Puerto Rico was a test, we failed, and we’re screwed

        • Khavrinen

          “So we cheated and we lied and we tested
          And we never failed to fail — it was the easiest thing to do”

        • beingreleased

          There’s debate. Some people say we’re screwed. Others argue that we’re fucked.

          • Maury Kendall

            Good people on both sides.

          • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

            A third camp maintains that we’ve been cornholed.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        And Trump says the power was already out so they should just fix it themselves.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Don’t bother. It will only prolong the agony. Eat, drink, and be merry.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      If you live in an Urban area a bunker wont help . The nuclear Firestorms will consume all Oxygen and ignite anything flammable.

    • Jennaratrix

      Two major hurricanes and the worst mass shooting in our history don’t constitute crises?

      • Viktor

        See? Proof enough to build this thing faster. Going to guy buy a truckload of bricks and cement.

  • Lefty Wright

    I think Comey could have been a little more succinct. My suggested quote:

    “He’s a fucking moron”.

    Rex Tillerson

  • Panika MCD

    I’m still confused about Tsarina Von Clownstick’s other quote where he said that the fact many of us don’t accept Putin’s word as gospel hurts the despot’s feefees. why am I supposed to care about Putin’s #FEELINGS?

    also too: the operative words appear to be “play” and “plays”. it’s active tense because it will continue to be the case going forward. hell, he’ll accept it in jail because he’s that insecure.

    • KnaveOfSwords

      I thought the whole point of Trump being elected was that we weren’t supposed to have to worry about people’s feelings anymore?

      • Panika MCD

        and I thought autocrats didn’t care about feelings as much as power.

      • miss_grundy

        We are only supposed to worry about HIS feelings.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “trying to clean up Trump’s latest diarrhea monsoon”
    “subverting our sovereignty and taking a giant Russian shit ”
    “Helping his asshole wife do Instagram challenges”

    Maybe they aren’t pee tapes at all. Evan, you might on to something far worse than pee tapes.

  • BMW
    • Ghoti theLinguist

      I cannot wait for the day this revolting skank is frogmarched away from the White House in cuffs.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        I pity whoever has to scrub the place to get rid of the skank’s stank.

    • miss_grundy

      Why is Martha Raddatz giving this idiot any screen time? At this point, it is Martha Raddatz who deserves to spend some time in the woodshed. By now, she should realize that KAC will say anything stupid to feed the red meat base of the GOP, so why continue to give this liar airtime? Shame on you, Raddatz!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yes, he’s very respectful of the people he calls hacks and liars.

      • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

        Start worrying if he calls them the best people.

  • MamaBrown

    you can practically see the canary wings sticking out of Putin’s mouth https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ddfe083984c79c71d911a823a0e8e4a8c6be957185fd594bb25b834d04c65628.jpg

  • Suttree

    I would like to ask all republicans how long do they think that Putin has been in power. You can throw aside PM or president. Just how long has Putin been running this country? I would expect the chorus of crickets to be deafening.

  • Resistor Radio

    “…roll down like waters…ever-flowing stream.”

    Did Comey just confirm that the pee tape is real and that he’s seen it???!!!

    • javadavis

      Oh, my, subtext upon subtweet.

    • Petunia Cat

      No, just that the Book of Amos is full of really purple prose. 😒

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • phoenix00

      > have Assange appointed ambassador to the U.S.

      Is this worse than the new US ambassador to Canada?

  • SheltonTodd

    To the chagrin of those on the right
    Comes a fact that makes them uptight
    Yet the intel chiefs
    Have proof not beliefs
    That Donald is Putin’s catamite

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      Upvoted for “catamite,” good old word that fits Trump like a glove.

    • Vacuous Virgina

      Come for the dick jokes, get a vocabulary lesson!

      Thanks, Obama 😥😥😥

    • Moar Wordz

      Wish Evan wrote like you, Shelton

  • Delu

    Comey should have just taken a picture of the Nile River in Egypt to represent what Trump is.

  • Zyxomma

    Kompromat, kompromaat, kompromat. In Keith Olbermann’s new book, there’s a chapter called Russia Russia Russia.

  • paxpax

    I had to look up Dunning-Kruger – but glad I did. Thank you Evan.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      It’s the coffee-maker brand that all the Sean Hannity fans are smashing.

  • Cheryl

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !fw331d:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleInternetIdeaComunityWorkFromHome/make/more ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!fw331lh

  • Moar Wordz

    YAY ! More non-consensual depictions of anal sex ?! And eating shit, too!
    Sure the vulgarians LOVED THIS.
    Ladies and tey geh’s, not so much.

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