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INNOCENT MAN

Well shit, everyone, CANCEL THE LIBERAL PITCHFORK BRIGADE, because Breitbart has boots on the ground in ‘Bama, and its intrepid reporters have uncovered #scoops that prove once and for all that Leigh Corfman, who told the Washington Post her story of being molested as a 14-year-old child by Roy Moore, made it all up. Now, pay no attention to your moral outrage at Breitbart sending reporters to Alabama to harass and discredit a woman because they’re more concerned about their agenda than they are about child sex abuse victims, because your moral compass is obviously stuck in the pre-Trump era, when things like that mattered.

Of course, Breitbart had already uncovered one big #scoop, and it was that one of Moore’s other accusers, who said he tried to perv-date her when she was 16, wasn’t planning on voting for him, which obviously renders her account invalid. But these new #scoops are even bigger!

EXHIBIT A: LEIGH CORFMAN DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A PHONE IN HER ROOM!

This one is really big, y’all. Corfman clearly told the Washington Post she talked to Roy Moore on the phone in her bedroom before he picked her up so he could allegedly molest her. But Breitbart was like “UM OK SURE” and talked to her mom and uncovered this:

[Nancy] Wells, Corfman’s mother, was asked by Breitbart News: “Back then did she have her own phone in her room or something?”

“No,” she replied matter-of-factly.

STORY OVER! UNTIL YOU READ THE NEXT SENTENCE!

“But the phone in the house could get through to her easily.”

Picture it: 1979! The phone is in the kitchen, but it has a long cord your mom plays with when she’s talking to her friends and doing other stuff at the same time, and fuck if that phone has not stretched to every room in the entire house. EVEN AS FAR AS YOUR BEDROOM.

Yes, you just witnessed Breitbart debunking its own #scoop, literally one sentence after the #reveal. Breitbart reporters are very good at journalism, and also at life.

Breitbart also takes issue with how much of Corfman’s account relies on Corfman “remembering” what allegedly happened to her. How could a dumb lady saying mean things about Roy Moore possibly remember things? Breitbart calls bullroar!

Ready for more of the fruits of Breitbart’s labor?

EXHIBIT 2: THE LIBTURD WASHINGTON POST FORCED CORFMAN TO TELL HER STORY!

“She did not go to them,” said Wells. “They called her.”

“They tried to convince her to do it?” this reporter asked.

“Yes,” replied Wells, matter-of-factly.

Wells was asked about Corfman’s motivations for going public. “It wasn’t done for politics, you know,” Wells replied. “It was done for personal reasons. And it wouldn’t have been done if the reporters hadn’t contacted my daughter.”

That is completely new information! Except for how it’s not, if you read the original story in WaPo:

Breitbart goes on to decry the “activist behavior” of the WaPo reporters, a practice otherwise known in the real world as journalism.

Of course, we must note that Breitbart seems to be conceding that Corfman’s account is true, since its headline does not say “Washington Post convinced lady to make up child molesty stories about Roy Moore.” It says WaPo helped her come forward.

Of course, the more information trickles out, the more it sounds like Roy Moore is exactly the guy Corfman describes. Teresa Jones, a former colleague of Moore’s, went on record this weekend to say Moore definitely was known for dating high school girls during that time period (when he was in his 30s), everybody knew it, and everybody thought it was fucking weird. A family friend of Leigh Corfman’s named Mary Jo West posted on Facebook that she learned “the Roy Moore story” back in the 1990s, and confirms they wouldn’t be doing this for political reasons because “Leigh’s parents bleed Republican red as long as I have known them,” and also “Leigh says she has voted Republican in the last three elections.”

Then there was Moore’s interview with Sean Hannity, who tried valiantly to give Moore a chance to deny creeping on teenagers, but accidentally ended up getting Moore to claim he never perved on kids without first getting permission from their moms, to the best of his recollection.

Anyway, Moore says he’s going to sue WaPo, which is sure to have those reporters shaking in their boots. Maybe Breitbart can recommend Moore a lawyer as talented as Breitbart’s journalists.

Hey, did you hear one of the most recent polls of the Alabama Senate race has Moore’s Democratic opponent Doug Jones UP BY FOUR POINTS? Donate, donate, donate!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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  • MynameisBlarney
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Don’t forget to burn your Beatles records!

      • SDGeoff3

        Not again?!!11!!

        • Bad Tom

          Make the price go up for those none-idiot collectors who don’t.

          • Cheryl

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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          • Shoebutton

            Wow, Carmen, you need that much an hour to keep your gas guzzler on the road.

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            You deserve a better ride, Carmen!!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        What if I already buried Paul?

      • OneYieldRegular

        You know, if you load your Keurig coffee capsule upside down it pours out SATAN.

    • jesterpunk

      They are even buying more of them to smash.

      • MynameisBlarney

        LOL

        Good goawd, that’s fucking beyond ignernt.

        • jesterpunk

          Its as successful as their NFL and Starbucks boycotts. They are really really bad at boycotts and just spend more money with the companies they are “boycotting”.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Shh don’t tell them, I need the laugh.

      • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

        Wait, seriously?

        • jesterpunk

          Someone posted last night that Lumpy is buying 500 of them to give out to his supporters to smash.

          • Ali | A Grumpy Cat

            That’s. Just brilliant.

          • jesterpunk

            They are really bad at boycotting things, look up their starbucks “boycott” where they went in and bought a lot of starbucks coffee and gave them Trump’s name. Or their NFL “boycott” where they bought jerseys and tickets just to burn them then went and bought more merchandise and tickets.

    • Iron Monkey

      Great sales strategy–convince people to buy your crappy product that makes crappy coffee so they can hit it with a hammer.

      Fucking genius.

    • Bright Bart

      they should smash them, those kcups will eventually exceed the biomass of the earth itself.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRGiGbX9lIo

    • Rotisserie Teal

      Exactly. I remember similar scenes in 2002 when people were buying French wine so they could pour it into sewer drains. That’ll show ’em!

      And not for nuthin’ but just how popular is the Keurig device in Alabama? Does not strike me as Keurig kind of town.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Seriously. For one thing, I bet 70-85% of the population has no idea how to pronounce it.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Pro-tip to the Breitbart “reporter.” If you have to use the phrase “matter-of-factly” more than zero times during your breathless “reportage,” the statements are probably not at all “factly.”

    You’re welcome.

    • Weird Fishes

      That they’re not “factly” actually matters, too.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      If you pile up enough factlies you get a truthiness.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Pedobear innocence report written by angry awful dudes who bitch endlessly about not being laid.

  • Nounverb911

    “Back when mah doughta was datin Moore, they used two tin cans ansome string to talk to each other”

    –The mother according to Breitbart

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e07207833f2331da5d9cc4cacf1d68430e7bb7e41716bce5934035c35b72f8d.jpg

    • Latverian Diplomat

      #fakenews. Alabama Bell always used rusty cans!

      • Beelzebubba

        This is the ad copy.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Well no wonder Breitbart is confused. They’re in the stenography business, not the journalism one.

  • jesterpunk

    Is Moore going to do what Trump did and claim to sue them then never do anything else?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Of course. Filing a lawsuit means opening yourself up to discovery and having to be deposed under oath. For a guy who wouldn’t even debate his opponent, to suddenly throw his whole life open to every white-shoe lawyer the Post could throw at him is…incongruous.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Yes. All that matters is the threat. That’s how Republicans establish their tough-guy bonafides.

      • SDGeoff3

        Thank you.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Playing the rubes.

    • Nounverb911

      Two words: Discovery and Discovery

      • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

        I’ll take “How much deeper can I dig this hole that I’m standing in” for $500, Alex.

    • ScrwUStillaTexanLibrul

      That would be my bet.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      We should call that “pulling a trump.”

  • MynameisBlarney

    “This is a republican town, man. He could have killed Obama and we wouldn’t care.”

    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/alabama-republican-voters-stand-roy-moore-n819906

    Evil, stupid fuckin racist pedophiles.

    That is the the GOP.

    • janecita

      Fucking Southern Baptist assholes! They are pure evil and proud of it.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup.
        I grew up Southern Baptist.
        I can’t agree more with your post.

  • Nounverb911

    In other breaking Breitbart news: Andy Breitbart Still Dead!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Is WaPo forcing you to come forward with this?

    • elviouslyqueer

      Thoughts and prayers!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Now is not the time to talk about death control…

    • Nockular cavity

      And there was much rejoicing.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    So, these nutters are completely unaware of the fact that Paula Jones came forward, not on her own, but after Republican hatchet-men/women found her and convinced her there was money to be made? Hilarious.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Silly you, IOKIYAR

  • exinkwretch

    I know media law very well from a past life. Judge Roy is talking through his cowboy hat (or somewhere else). To wit: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/no-roy-moore-isnt-going-to-sue-anyone

    • Professor Fate

      thanks for the link.

  • Iron Monkey

    If Moore sues the Post, the Streisand Effect will become the Judge Roy Moore Effect.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I’m sure the Post wouldn’t mind deposing him

  • OrG

    All this means is that now the rethugs have to cheat to “win” this election.

    • MynameisBlarney

      You mean, their SOP since 2000?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        G. Gordon Liddy on line two!

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    The funniest part is how they think tired old slut-shaming and “bitches be lyin” is “cool” and “edgy”.

    https://i.imgflip.com/1z7mph.jpg

    But, like I said, thanks for removing any doubt that they have anything to do with “economic populism”.

  • Anthony Weiner (D) in prison.
    Roy Moore (R) still getting funded by GOP machine.

    • Nounverb911

      And the only thing Weiner touched was his cell phone….

  • Weird Fishes

    Another exhausting day in America. This is sickening; it does nobody on his side of the argument any credit. Just another awkward, shitty day in our society’s deepening dysfunction.

  • TundraGrifter

    OK – Here’s a different take on this debacle. In order to serve in the United States Senate, a person must take an oath to defend and preserve the Constitution of the United States. Twice “Judge” Moore has been removed from office for failing to do precisely that.

    Why would anyone vote for anyone with that documented personal history?

    • jesterpunk

      Because it pisses off liberals, its all about spite with republicans.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Forget it Jake, it’s Alabama

    • exinkwretch

      People who talk loudly and thump a large Bible.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Because their brand of sharia law trumps U.S. law?

      • TundraGrifter

        Precisely! The collected works of William Tyndale is a much more important document than the Constitution of the United States of America! You betcha!

    • Conservative SCOTUS appointments and tax breaks for the rich. Their divine duo.

    • SpideySenser

      I’ll take “the bible” for $600, Alex.

      • TundraGrifter

        Which one?

  • Nounverb911
  • Anna Rompage

    I’m not sure what all the concern about Moore is here. I mean the Bible specifically commands fathers to sell their 11 year old daughter of into marriage to a 30 year old man, for something like 3 chickens and a good milking goat…

    • Nounverb911

      Then they can visit Sue Lowden’s chicken doctor 3 times…..

      • Doug Langley

        Well played!

    • elviouslyqueer

      You know what else the Bible has to say about marriage?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFkeKKszXTw

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      That’s the part Moore likes.

  • empf

    Donated some monies. I’m in Arizona.

  • folderol

    Dear Hannity Fans:

    Here is a list of brands not advertising on his show. Please take a hammer to products from the following:

    Porsche
    Tiffany
    Prada
    Rolex
    Your Dick

    Thank you in advance for being conscientious in your condemnations.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Objection. Assumes dick in evidence.

      • folderol

        Objection overruled. If you’re a regular Hannity watcher, you are by definition a huge dick.

    • arglebargle

      Please hammer Tiffany with votes.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Don’t forget Lamborghini, Birkin, and Swarovski.

      • folderol

        Doesn’t ANYBODY advertise on Hannity anymore?

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Sean Hannity: Okay, so, you got permission from their mothers, which is an important detail the main steam media ignores, and it’s not something you even did all the time, and most of them were of the age of consent—and remember folks, this was all 40 years ago!—would you agree that any girl below the age of 14 is completely off limits?
    Roy Moore: Well, uh . . . I suppose that generally that young would be off-limits.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    And, of course somebody said this already but

    Liberal gets consensual sex from adult intern: Literally Inpeach!

    Conservative hits on 14-year old: No bigz!

    • mackafritz

      It was 40 years ago! It was all completely different back then!
      Something something!

      • marxalot

        Wanna hear something scary?
        That Oval Office BJ was 20 years ago now.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I was in France at the time, and the French people asked me why we were such assholes about a blow job.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        My personal threshold for “it was all completely different back then” doesn’t include “DURING MY OWN FUCKING LIFETIME WHICH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, DESPITE HOW OLD I SOMETIMES FEEL IS NOT ACTUALLY THAT LONG IN TERMS OF ACTUAL YEARS.” It’s more like “in the early half of the nineteenth century . . . “. FFS.

    • John Frazer

      Let’s not go overboard here. The Clinton-Lewinski thing was still the gross sexual exploitation of a woman by her employer. And if the Republican Congress impeached him for that, I’d have a hard time blaming them. As it is, we’re probably at least a decade before the Republicans even recognize it as a crime.

      • Edith Prickly

        Not quite. Monica’s testimony made it clear that she pursued the relationship with him and it was consensual. It was still horrendously bad judgement on his part, but I wouldn’t call it exploitation. Monica was young (22) but she was an adult. She was also a full-time White House employee by the time the affair began, not an intern.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Thank you, that is how I remembered it as well. She openly said to her friend she was bring knee pads to Washington. And 22 is well over legal.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        As I recall, Lewinsky continues to say it was consensual to this day. But yes, you and I probably have very different interpretations of “high crimes and misdemeanors”.

      • John Frazer

        The Clinton-Lewinski affair was “consensual.” And much of the time, drunk drivers get home safely.

        High-ranking government officials should not be allowed to sleep with their subordinates.

    • generalleeme
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And it wouldn’t have been done if the reporters hadn’t contacted my daughter.

    Gee, I wonder why she thought she might not be supported and was thus hesitant to speak up?

    • Because she is surrounded by child MOLESTERS, uh I mean Republicans?

  • Michael Smith

    What’s a little kid diddling if it means electing someone who will SAVE OUR COUNTRY FROM THE LIBS?!!!!!1

    • gallbladder

      Nailed it.

    • Beautiful Soup

      The libs want to let men use the restroom next to OUR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS!

      • marxalot

        But hanging around outside the restroom to pick up our daughters is fine!! If it ever happened, which it didn’t, but would still be better, because Biblical marriage!11!

    • SadDemInTex

      ^^^^^THIS^^^^^

    • george lastrapes

      Maybe kiddiddling is part of the New Patriotism, like fellow-traveling with Putin and alternative facts.

      • Michael Smith

        And when you want to be dismissive of it, you just say “kiddiddle, kiddaddle.”

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Party of personal responsibility blames liberal conspiracy for failing to vet its candidate

    Like, bitch, how is it our fault that y’all ain’t do your job?

  • Nounverb911

    Gloria Allred has entered the picture!

    https://twitter.com/JoeMyGod/status/930103486158479361

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    I said this on another thread, but I was a young prosecutor. I watched kids a few times in the hallway because mom didn’t want them to see whatever was going on in ct.

    The idea of asking for their phone numbers is insane, let alone whatever else.

    And if I ever answered a question from my spouse if I was seeing other women with “generally, no”…

    • wavicles

      It’s insane to you because you were there to do your job whereas he was there primarily for phone numbers and whatever else. Viewpoint, is all.

    • Nockular cavity

      “Do you bury bodies in your backyard?”
      “Generally, no.”

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yeah, that part of the narrative is what sickens me most. Exploiting the trust issue with the mother like that. Gonna have to dig some extra, super-low levels in Hell.

    • SpideySenser

      Well, they weren’t “women” at the time, they were “teenage girls”, so there’s his loophole.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      on that same topic, it’s EXTREMELY bad ethically to get involved with clients, and obviously just fucking gross with a client’s under age children.

      Fuck that is some creepy ass shit. We have an outside and inside waiting area for our clients that include families suffering through some ugly shit. If they’re in the hall, I smile politely and fucking move on. I don’t think I’ve even TALKED to a client yet. We were doing a mock trial on an average-disgusting case and the victim came in and they practiced courtroom procedure. She was probably about 14.

      Just, ew, yuck.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT, but…
    Starting week # 3 of being sick.
    YAY!!!

    I found a brand of chicken soup that doesn’t taste like the 1st ingredient is a metric fuck-ton of salt.
    It’s a Campbell’s brand, but still. This is how they should make all their soups.
    “Well Yes!”

    It ain’t homemade, but it’s the closest I’ve found lately.

    • Proud Liberal

      Are you okay Blarney?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yeah, considering.
        This is a bug goin’ around. I’m not the only one in the upper Keys fighting this.
        I’m feeling better, but still feel like shit relatively speakin’.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          I was friends in college with perhaps the only cool frat dude in the entire state.

          He had a cold and told me his remedy was extra fucking spicy hotwings and a pitcher of beer at Hooters.

          We was right as rain the next day.

          (But seriously, the spicy seems to work for some reason.)

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah, I’m all about spicy when I feel good.
            More so when I have a cold or flu.

        • Proud Liberal

          I hope you get better soon!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Thanks, meeee too!

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Aw, I hope you kick it’s ass soon. Sounds like I got my flu shot just in time.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Not sure this is the flu actually.
            No achy bones, no fever to speak of. Just stuffy head and congested chest, And the fatigue.
            I’m just…bleh….

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Sometimes it’s hard to tell, but yes it sounds coldish. Feel better soon.

    • Bad Tom

      Being sick really sucks. Making soup is labor intensive. (I like making soup.)
      Hope you get well soon.

    • weejee
      • marxalot

        Comrade Mom has a gralic-and-chicken soup recipe which is essentially kill or cure for the patient.
        If you can’t taste the garlic in it, you need another dose.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      I know right? Those big can ones, I forgot the brand, I have to buy low-sodium versions of fucking EVERYTHING.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “And it wouldn’t have been done if the reporters hadn’t contacted my daughter.”
    Um…no. It wouldn’t have been done if Roy Moore hadn’t sexually abused your daughter.

    • grindstone

      Yes, jesus, thank you. After the professor guy got roasted last year for saying he didn’t like to have women in the lab because it always got romantic, or whatever the fuck he said, I had some asshole on jezebel saying “y’all got him fired! Aren’t you happy now???!!!” or some such shit.

      I said: WE didn’t get anyone fired. HE GOT HIMSELF FIRED.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        YES! How difficult is this to understand?

  • Beelzebubba

    Because no teenager in the history of Alabama ever took the house phone into her room. It’s a science fact.

  • TJ Barke

    Congrats Breitards, y’all are defending a pedophile so the rich can get more tax cuts and fundies can shit all over people that their imaginary friend says it’s okay to hate. Y’all are fucking paragons of virtue…

    • jesterpunk

      They are really just defending him because it pisses off liberals.

      • TJ Barke

        Stupid fucking tools.

      • marxalot

        Government through pettiness. Sounds about right.

        • Mean, petty, vindictive cowards.

          Describes every single Republican I’ve ever met in my whole life.

  • Ωbjectifier

    So Blightfart confirms the WaPo story. Nice work!

    • Indeniable Ron

      Remember when ALL journalism was like this?

  • Proud Liberal

    Make no mistake. Moore will be elected.

    • OrG

      You mean “elected”?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “WWJM”

    Who Would Jesus Molest?

    • the_steamer

      WWJD

      Who Would Jesus Date

      Gotta use the regional colloquialisms.

  • Ye gods, the moral relativism is sickening. The GOP can kindly shut the fuck up about moral issues now.

    • Daniel

      From your lips to GOP’s ear. I mean, the answer will still be no but you know.

    • SpideySenser

      The party of family values … ah, NOT!

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        That just means you can molest your own family. A la Duggar.

  • calliecallie

    Everything about this story fills me with despair for the future of this nation.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Everything about this story pisses me right the fuck off and makes me want to fight these evil fucktards even harder.

    • Proud Liberal

      Just wait until after December 12, 2017 when Moore gets elected. Our country can go a lot lower than where we are today.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Defeatist talk only helps those fuckers.

        Y’all sound like you’ve given up already.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Just like we did after the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor, alas.

        • Proud Liberal

          Do you know the people in Alabama? They hate Democrats and will not vote for them no matter what.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Jones is ahead by 4 points.

          • the_steamer

            They can stay home, though… or split vote.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I want to see Strange as a write-in. History shows us what happens when you run a three way race with two parties similar in ideology.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Sad trombone for Roy “Kiddy-Diddlin'” Moore.
    https://twitter.com/funder/status/929813635538571264

  • proudgrampa

    I just donated to the Jones campaign.

    After reading Teresa Jones’ story over the weekend, I learned how much of a fucking terrorist the guy has been in Alabama. This predatory pig needs to be stopped.

  • Nockular cavity

    “Judge Roy Moore: Law South of the Age of Consent.”

    • Querolous

      Paul Newman libel!

  • Joshua Norton

    Moore says he’s going to sue WaPo

    Oh yes!! The more “pedophile/GOP” headlines the better.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      He’s doing a Trump. Playing to the rubes.

  • Mary Theresa

    This is really personal for Bannon, if his boy Moore loses, he loses street cred as to being able to get candidates elected. He has boasted he was going to get all establishment republicans primaried from the right. He’s got a lot riding on a pedo.

  • Maybe Breitbart can recommend Moore a lawyer as talented as Breitbart’s journalists.

    Bazoombas!
    http://pzrservices.typepad.com/advertisingisgoodforyou/images/2008/01/17/corrifetmanphoto01.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      What were we talking about?

      • mardam422

        Sorry…did you say something?

    • James Baskin

      I think I need to get arrested.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        make it a complex and heinous crime.

        You wanna spend some quality time with her.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      She does make a couple excellent points.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’ll be in my…uh.. chambers.

    • mailman27

      Hello, Counselor!!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Roy “Aqualung” Moore should plead insanity. I’m sure he was crazy about those young girls.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Roy Moore looks like Woody from “Toy Story,” if Woody had aged into a bitter, dissolute pedophile.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d3e04ce9324c7d16d8e4d3c74b397bb7e5aae0077f49bf6417c1f63e69dabb7b.jpg

    • laughingnome

      I always thought Woody paid a little too much attention to that girl dolly.

    • GoutMachine

      Where on Jessie did he touch you?

  • Nounverb911
  • marxalot

    My late, unlamented grandfather used to say “DAs are dictators.”
    The DA has a lot of power, regardless of how big or small his jurisdiction, and he can make your life a living hell.
    So Moore used to “get permission” from girls’ mothers to go after their teenage daughters? Were all of them hanging around outside the family court office? Some other courtroom?

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      No, we aren’t. And now that I’m on the other side of the table, I see a lot of stupidity. But, I also deal with excellent and reasonable folks. It’s a mixed bag

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I think you nailed it. With this guy anyway. He does seem the sort to abuse his power, (Sorry make that is obviously, what with the selective law enforcement.)

  • Baconzgood

    Yeah because as a teen when land lines were still a thing, Baconz never bought a duel jack and a 30 foot cord from Radio Shack for $6 and could hide it from my parents via throw rugs and what not. In fact I can say my older sister never showed me how to do it.

    If I’m going to confess another thing…I NEVER DID POT in High School. Because if I did my parents would have known about it. Just like I only shopped lifted that one time, my first and only time, because the manager at the Foodland called up my house before I had a chance to erase the message.

    Also too all those “B+”s on my report card were REALLY “B+”s and not “D-“s
    You all know 14-18 year old kids are honest especially when it comes to an older person buying booze and having sex.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Not engaging in pedophilia apparently is an “unrealistic standard:”

    https://twitter.com/jbouie/status/930027734277017600

    • Daniel

      Nice little bit of casual racism thrown in at the end there too.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Mowing the lawn at the wrong time? Somebody has a beef with the HOA!

    • mardam422

      It’s true. All this partisanship!!1 I mean, if I were held to account for every time I creepily followed a teenaged girl to her car at the mall….

    • Old town Urbandale

      “…young men have always had unofficial latitude to pursue teenage girls…” How about old geezers pursuing teenage girls? Asking for a friend. (Roy’s not as young as he used to be.)

      • Daniel

        “…young men have always had unofficial latitude to pursue teenage girls…”

        Who gave them that latitude?
        My guess is not the girls themselves.

        • Nockular cavity

          It’s almost as if it was a male, uh, what do you call it? Oh yeah, a privilege.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Sadly in a poor culture some moms encourage it, to benefit from it themselves.

    • Suttree

      Um…. Fuck Elvis and his music stealing ass. You’re really saying Elvis to a black man?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Nobody ever suggested that Elvis should be a senator.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Not even Elvis himself.

    • Nockular cavity

      Pre-Trump: “We are the last line of defense for traditional morals against you perverts!”

      Post-Trump: “Not fuck underage girls? That’s IMPOSSIBLE!”

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i wish we had a law against mowing lawns at the wrong time. 7 am on a sunday is fucking abominable!

      Also too – fuck leaf blowers.

      • James Baskin

        I’m not going to try to fuck a leaf blower, but I sure would like to run over a few.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i knew some snarky bastard was going to say that…didn’t know it would be first (and so far only) comment though!

          ; p

      • SpideySenser

        I hate those fuckers. One neighbor’s landscaping crew showed up Sat morning at 8AM, with their industrial size mowers turned to 11.
        After that was over, neighbor a few doors down on the other side cranked up the leaf blower for a solid hour. It’s the weekend, ferchrissakes, can I please sleep in a wee bit?

    • James Baskin

      Imma tell ya. They thinkin it is OK and that 1979 was centuries ago..

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Check this guys basement and crawl space.

    • cmd resistor

      So Jerry Lee Lewis was disgraced for marrying a 13-year old, although he lied and said she was 15, which I guess he thought was old enough. And he was 22. And they were cousins once-removed.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    These daily reminders that children exist in our nation to be the sexual playthings of men is driving me to fond remembrance of studying Nuclear weapons and Cold War tanks.

    Someday, Justice will be served, Rs. Fiat justitia ruat caelum

    • Cock Blockula

      “The Fiats of Justice will rust your dog?”

      My Latin, she’s not too good. Mea culpa

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        “Let Justice be done though the Heavens Fall”.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The Fiat Justitia: rust beneath your culo.

        • Rotisserie Teal

          If you leave it out in the rain that will happen.

      • Daniel

        Let Justice Be Done In Your Arse

      • Peripatetic Poltroon

        Neither is your dog. All rusty.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Gogo! :)

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I dressed as her (before the pc Halloween thing) at Fantasy Fest one year..

  • wavicles

    I can see the use of the term ‘activist behavior’ becoming something wicked.

    • ((( Augustus )))

      they’ve been decrying “activist judges” for some time now, since before they stole Garland’s seat

      it’s fucking infuriating

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    The phone is in the kitchen, but it has a long cord…

    What is a cord?

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      Gods Ima Old. xD

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Ha-ha, I bet I have a decade lead on you.

        • Put On Your War Paint!

          xD I’m 44, I’ll be 45 in February.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Yep, double nickel.

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            You carry it very well. :) You look more my age.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Just when I thought I couldn’t like you more : )

          • Put On Your War Paint!

            :)

    • natoslug

      A sedan by Honda.

    • Mary Theresa

      A 4’x8′ pile of wood.

    • Indeniable Ron
      • Nounverb911

        What no supercharger?

    • Nockular cavity

      Like Ruffles, but they’re pants.

      • Peripatetic Poltroon

        Who the hell wears potato chips??

  • Suttree

    I assume that Moore will be paying his lawyers out of the campaign coffers. As republicans are wont to do.

  • NastyBossetti

    If you’re 32, and you have to ask someone’s mom for permission to date them, maybe that should be a red flag?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Did he ever ask a Dad? I would buy extra popcorn for that.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Sounds like no, because he targeted girls without present fathers/father figures. For that extra creep factor.

        • Bad Tom

          Family Court for a DA pedo is a special source for grooming.

        • cmd resistor

          Never thought about that till today when I kept reading about asking the mama’s permissions. But I bet that was part of it.

    • Rotisserie Teal

      More like the Confederate battle flag of the army of Northern Virgina.

    • James Baskin

      Not so much in Alabama.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      So, like, if your date wasn’t old enough for kindergarten when you were in combat overseas that’s a problem?

      • NastyBossetti

        Not if they’re an adult now, and you can ask them for their OWN permission to date them.

    • marxalot

      “Half your age plus seven” isn’t actually hard math, even by Alabama standards. And yet!

  • Suttree

    Also too, let us not forget about Roy’s shady ass taxes. He’s a criminal in numerous ways.

    • Bad Tom

      Evading taxes on that $500,000 is still on the IRS’ radar.

  • Baconzgood

    Is it just Baconz, hear me out, does the GOP seem like an Andy Kaufman skit that would NEVER get made because it would be too ridiculous and far fetched to make people believe it is possible?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Where’s Mighty Mouse to save the day?

      • Baconzgood

        I’d settle for Ladka. I’m not even asking for Tony Clifton.

        P.S.

        Go Steelers. My boys, who have yet you discover girls-but soon- say they are putting a goodest effort to win Big Ben his last Super Bowl this year.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      The Republicrats!

      • Baconzgood

        So we’re fucking people on the congressional floor, and then Rand Paul comes answer starts sucking Paul Ryans dick, all the while the Tea-party is Jenkins watching the rest of the GOP raping the middle class and setting health care on fire….

      • Baconzgood

        Sorry damn auto co-wrecks. Doesn’t do well for the Aristocrats joke.

        Which is funny. I text a lot of swears. The Samsung Isn’t very good in AI.

    • Billy Wigglestaff

      I’ve written before about that exact fantasy. I can see the flourish of his bow, after ripping off the Trump mask. That guy never did know how far to take a joke!

  • Being a borned and raised Alabamian I can state the best thing to ever come out of the Camellia State is:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/87da7bb9791f626570c4c9c8f64928ae2220968d37735b39d53b58e773258597.jpg

    And they quit making it a few years ago.

  • natoslug

    For the GOP, the only things currently “a bridge too far” are cannibalism and bestiality. I can’t wait for 2018’s revelations. I’m guessing horsefucking is A-Okay! in the spring, eating the nearly-dead in the fall. Ratfucking, of course, has been second-nature since Nixon.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    may every writer and commenter and breitbart have painful ingrown toenails.

    (Too harsh, Dok?)

    • Daniel

      With votes.

      (saved)

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      And a pox on their houses.

  • James Baskin

    up by four points!!!!!!! Go Doug Jones — I have given money to his campaign.
    49 to 51 would make it exponentially harder for the republicans to get anything passed.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Everything about this entire situation – the original crimes, the vile degraded asshole at the center of the story, the response by the evangelical crowd, the rush to judgment – not of Moore, but of the women – the refusal to condemn him without adding mealy-mouthed “if it’s true” get-out-of-jail-free cards, the fact that the poll is still statistically a tie – makes me want a Silkwood shower every five minutes. Goddamn it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Just one month to go. Hang in there.

  • jesuswasablack

    My name is Steve Bannon, I’m political wizard, hell I even got a pedophile hypocrite from Alabama elected to the Senate!
    https://i2.wp.com/theamericantribune.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/DHSTrYiXsAER0fw.jpg?fit=1200%2C910&ssl=1

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not just yet :)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Is he about to molt? I never know with Lizard-Americans.

    • We’re gonna need a soft white light bulb.

      • marxalot

        And a gallon of spackle.

    • The Wanderer

      Yep. There’s the face of the master race right there.

      • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

        that photo looks like he is trying to be sad face pepe

    • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

      “Hey, Steve, you’ve got a little something on your face there”

      “Where, here?”

      “Okay, sure, there too. Yes, there. And there. Yes. There too. Yep. There too.. Oh Jesus! It’s on your collar now.”

  • Rotisserie Teal

    Mitch McConnell just ditched Roy Boy. Said he believes the women and Roy should step aside.

    Think that will make any difference?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Not in the AL race. It will, hopefully, cause enough Bannon-supported wingnuts to throw themselves at the porchlights in the midterms to balance our own suicide commandos.

      • Rotisserie Teal

        Yeah, I don’t trust the polls. Sure when asked if they’ll vote for a pedophile, folks will say “no”. But get them in the voting booth where the only other option is (gasp) a Demon-crat, and I see him winning by 5 points at least.

        Would LOVE to be wrong about this.

        • Mary Theresa

          Moore will still be a albatross around republicans neck if he wins. Although AL may overlook his behavior, it won’t translate on a national level.

          • Notreelyhelping

            And you can be certain he’ll be spouting all kinds of ridiculous evangelical stuff and getting lots of press. It’s not in a showboat like that to take a low profile.

            Does McTurtle have ulcers yet?

          • Mary Theresa

            I hope turtles can get ulcers.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Welp. Guess who is shocked and appalled enough to ask the guy he didn’t endorse in the primaries to step aside, although not enough to endorse his opponent a la Edwin Edwards or refuse to seat him.

    https://twitter.com/funder/status/930116506750476288

    • Professor Fate

      One has to presume he’s been looking at the poll numbers and saw the long term trend was ugly. I can’t imagine he cares a tinker’s damn about what Moore did only that it look like it’s going to lose him a Senate seat.

      • OddMan

        Lovely phrase there Professor ~ “Tinker’s damn”
        Can mean the fact that tinkers (plumpers) used to swear a lot, or the little dam they made out of dough to keep solder in place on pipes. After one use they were thrown away.

        • Professor Fate

          Per the infallible Wikipedia it comes from the dam made out of dough. But Tinkers were know to be rather free with curses as well so it could be a bit of both ya know

          • puredog

            That’s rather poetic.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        He knows outside of Cousinfuckerville, this looks really, really bad

      • TimResistit

        He knows that Moore will be made into the poster face of pedophilia in the republican senate if he does win.

        • Between Moore and Hastert the GOP is becoming the Grand Old Pedos.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Mitch McConnell: Horrible, But Not the Most Horrible in the GOP

      • Carpe Vagenda

        but the devoted handmaiden of them what are.

      • BigCSouthside

        No he is. He’s directly hurt more people than any of them

      • shivaskeeper

        Is there one worse? Most of the fucker the GOPers pull is directly because of McTurtle.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Never forget the stolen supreme court seat. McConnell should be turned into soup for that alone.

        • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

          as well as scores of federal seats that should have been filled by Obama.

        • cmd resistor

          I will never forgive him for that one.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Oh, he’s plenty horrible. He’s just clever and sneaky enough to realize what a disaster Moore is. He’s not doing this because of any morals…

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          You’re probably right, it’s just I can’t seem to reconcile seeing his face and the word “clever” paired up.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      They know. They always know.

    • puredog

      Re Moore vis a vis the “Republican establishment”: “Even paranoids have enemies.” I literally cannot imagine McConnell uttering these words in any other context. Even so, it took him a week to work up the spittle to do so.

  • Rotisserie Teal

    So, McConnell is quitting on the Pedophile in hopes of instead getting a little Strange?

  • Mavenmaven

    Perhaps Breitbart has some thoughts about Trump’s crack investigative team, which as far as we know are still doing the searchy thing in Hawaii.

    • You mean “Kenya,” don’t you? I’m sure that any day now they’ll get the true story, particularly once they hook up with Sheriff Joe’s investigators still there.

    • TimResistit

      “Trump’s crack” More a description of where they came from than thier competence.

  • anon_the_great

    There are men registered for life as sex offenders for doing far less than Ray Moore.

    • marxalot

      If only he had taken a leak in public within view of passing cars which may have included children.

    • shivaskeeper

      From the bench Moore did his best to make sure they got off scott free. Defending his own is the only way I can view it.

  • OddMan

    This is going around twitter just now. Multiple sources.
    “Prominent lawyer Gloria Allred will hold a press conference later today with a woman who says she was sexually assaulted as a minor by Roy Moore, the Republican nominee in the upcoming Senate special election in Alabama.”

    • aureolaborealis

      Allred on the case? I think someone is going down in flames.

  • Hollandaise

    My god this is all exhausting and re-traumatizing.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I have spent the last 4 days basically unable to function because yes it’s very very triggering.

      • Hollandaise

        I had tuned out entirely during the election last year (it was just all too much at a certain point) and it resulted in a full night/morning of panic attacks when he won. So I’m trying not to do that again but maybe smaller breaks are needed. Something is needed because my stress levels are becoming…unmanageable through the less unhealthy means.

        I wish you all good things.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      I’m really sorry for all that you and any other victims have suffered but it helps me in a weird way to snark aboit all of this stuff or discuss it seriously here on Wonkette. I had begin to think maybe there’s something wrong with me for letting this shitshow get me so down and bummed out.

      • Hollandaise

        I absolutely don’t begrudge anyone that – it’s just been a long couple years of this shit over and over again and I’m suddenly very tired.

    • aureolaborealis

      Right? I have some shit from my childhood that I thought I had dealt with and wasn’t affecting me long-term. And now I’m thinking about it every day.

  • george gonzalez

    Did no one note that the this new reveal from Breitbart actually sorta confirms that Moore likely talked to some mothers first, perhaps asking for permission? Wow, really creepy if true, about the moms okaying such a date.

    • Jim QuinnX

      This is Alabammy. They probably figured it was okay as long as he wasn’t a relative.

      • Querolous

        “Ah Ma! I’ll take good care of sis!”

    • cmd resistor

      Seems like one of the older girls’ moms in the WAPO story said (at the time) that she thought it was a good thing. I’m thinking the daughter asked her hypothetically about going out with him? Or maybe he came to the door. One does note that there’s no reference to asking anyone’s daddy. Wonder if he picked victims where there was no dad in the picture?

      • puredog

        Now there’s an insightful insight. I look forward to the WaPo graphic.

      • MuttsRule

        Actually, of the original accusers, two of their mothers were on board, which creeped me out, too. From WaPo:

        Gloria Thacker Deason says she was 18 and Moore was 32 when they metin 1979 at the Gadsden Mall, where she worked at the jewelry counter of a department store called Pizitz. She says she was attending GadsdenState Community College and still living at home.
        “My mom was really, really strict and my curfew was 10:30 but she would let me stay out later with Roy,” says Deason, who is now 57 and lives in North Carolina. “She just felt like I would be safe with him. . . . She thought he was good husband material.”

        Debbie Wesson Gibson says that she was 17 in the spring of 1981 when Moore spoke to her Etowah High School civics class about serving as the assistant district attorney. She says that when he asked her out, she asked her mother what she would say if she wanted to date a 34-year-old man. Gibson says her mother asked her who the man was, and when Gibson said “Roy Moore,” her mother said, “I’d say you were the luckiest girl in the world.”

        • cmd resistor

          I thought i remembered something like that.

    • puredog

      “Well, he was a nice, clean man with a steady respectable job, and Mary Sue’ll be lookin’ for a nice husbin soon.”

  • Dadood

    So Breitbart backed a sexual child predator in Milo and an admitted sexual assaulter in the liar in chief and now we are supposed to believe they have better reporters than the Washington Post? Really, has your head turned to mush if you believe these people? Milo molested children and admitted it, now he is gone from Breitbat, Ailes and O’Reilly are gone at Faux and Breitbart said they were innocent. Yep, you can’t get any more truthful than an alt right blog who makes up news and backs sexual predators time after time after time..

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Is Milo is predator? I thought he was a victim who thought it was funny to joke about it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        that was what I thought

      • Dadood

        Anyone who advocates for child sexual abuse is a predator.
        Yiannopoulos has been accused of being an apologist for or supporting child sexual abuse,
        a charge he strenuously denies. The charge arises from a video clip in
        which he said that sexual relationships between 13-year-old boys and
        adult men and women can be “perfectly consensual” and positive
        experiences for the boys.[10]
        Following the release of the tape, Yiannopoulos was forced out of his
        position at Breitbart, and lost a contract to publish his autobiography
        with Simon and Schuster.
        Yiannopoulos has denied that he is a supporter of such relationships,
        and claimed that his statements were an attempt to cope with his own
        past victimhood, as an object of child abuse
        by unnamed older men. His critics, in claiming that he is a supporter
        of child sexual abuse, also invoke a second video, in which he stated
        that it “really is not that big of a deal” and called its victims
        “selfish brats” for going public and identifying their accusers years
        after they were abused.[11]

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Yeah, I’ve been awake for the past year. I just don’t think that makes him a predator.

          • Dadood

            Tell that to the children who get molested because of your hero.

          • Bemused

            Reasonably sure AGYF isn’t actually into Milo?

          • Jim QuinnX

            Potato, potahto.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I sent Doug Jones $25. It seems like the least I can do.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Stupid libtard, you don’t understand. It is UNPOSSIBLE for anyone who has every voted Republican to not vote blindly for EVERY Republican. Because there is no difference among them. Well, wait, that last thing might be true.

  • beingreleased

    I’m looking forward to conservatives defending all the kiddie porn that’s going to turn up on Moore’s computer. We all know its there.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Sure, but it won’t be little boy porn, so it’s OK.

      • And, as far as we know, there are no dead girls…

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Yet.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    Teresa Jones, a former colleague of Moore’s, went on record this weekend
    to say Moore definitely was known for dating high school girls during
    that time period (when he was in his 30s), everybody knew it, and
    everybody thought it was fucking weird.

    This is what convinces me that this shit is really “True Story” material. If he weren’t chasing high schoolers around, there would be no contemporaneous gossip about it.

    As I said late last week, I have a family member who during his 20s/30s was KNOWN for “dating” high school girls–and he was a substitute teacher and bus driver at the local high schools. He finally got terminated after he escorted a fucking student onto the football field for the homecoming game. Most people in the extended family and in the church community noticed this skeezy shit. Roy Moore and that relation sound like birds of similar feathers.

    • Tragic Typos

      Yeah, I remember there was a math teacher in my intermediate school (9th and 10th grades) who was known to be a frequent attendee of concerts nearby where he would ‘happen’ to run into girls from the school, supply them with weed and who the hell knows what else happened.

      It’s odd thinking back because he wasn’t necessarily thought of by any students as a creep. A bit of an odd duck perhaps and also as a stoner. I hope that whatever happened was just (dare I say?) ‘innocent’ weed smoking which is what most of us were already doing anyway.

      I do wonder what ‘dating’ high school girls entails for these guys in practice. Where do you go that isn’t either illegal (a bar) or weird (ice cream shop)?

      • puredog

        Drive-in movies?

    • LucindathePook

      I got my last job because my boss had just fired my in-his-40s predecessor for spending most of his worktime on looking at pix of junior high and high school girls in cheerleading outfits, etc.–kinda softcore stuff, I guess (never saw any as they disinfected the computer for me). He got married to an 18-y-o he’d been dating for two years.
      Also have a friend whose high school (16-17) year old daughter came home and dropped the “I’m pregnant, Mom” bomb on her. Close questioning revealed the father was her ex step-father, who was like 49-50. My friend had had two kids with this guy.

    • cmd resistor

      Exactly. WAPO started working on the story because of all that contemporaneous gossip. It’s not like they just woke up one day and said, let’s see if we can find some random dirt on Roy Moore.

  • shivaskeeper

    Defend and either become Nazis or collaborators. Then move on to defending child molesters. I hesitate to think where they go from here.

    Paragons of virtue. The fucking lot of them are paragons.

    • I’m surprised more people on the left don’t jump on this, especially after the right wing has tried to paint the left as “pedophile sympathizers.”

      Like how hard is it for someone to point out, when it comes to the trials and tribulations of the Richard Spencer types, “if we’re ok with Spencer speaking here today, then before you know it the right wing are going to demand their pedophiles have the right to speak openly and freely about their sick ideas tomorrow. Where is it gonna end???”

      • shivaskeeper

        I’m not saying one thing leads to another. Just that if they are willing to compromise their integrity for Nazis, which they did will full knowledge of who and what they were supporting, there should be no surprise they will set aside integrity for a child molester.

        Calling them out on it would be, I think, ineffective and counterproductive. Especially with the Evangelicals who are the ones more likely to support Moore right now. They have wrapped religion and political party so tightly together, there is no daylight between them. To vote for a non GOPer is to vote against their own supposedly deeply held beliefs. Toss in the whole concept of he is forgiven but not perfect, with a huge dose of the White Evangelical persecution and martyr complex, and any argument from the left is going to fall on deaf ears and likely cause his support to rally even tighter around him.

        This is a problem that is going to have to fixed by the sane GOPers. If they want to save their party they will have to be the ones to do it. They need to purge the crazies, the religious nutjobs, the Tea Party no compromise at any cost crowd, and the Nazis out of the party. The left cannot do it for them. Either they take it back from the monster they thought they could control and reestablish some sanity, the monster keeps purging out the sane members for being impure, or the party splits. The last two doom the GOP to never holding power again, and require no political will or courage. The first one is the only viable option for them to stay a national level party, but takes will and courage they have not shown. In any case it has to be them that does it.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I’m waiting to hear from the Family Research Council. They have a working relationship with kiddie diddlers – like Josh Duggar – so will have important insights to offer, I’m sure.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Family research, is code for how to molest children and get away with it.

    • cmd resistor

      Yeah and those jerks that the Duggars followed taught that molested kids/girls were temptresses or something awful like that. The usual victim blaming only worse because little kids.

    • puredog

      Just wandered around their website, seems to be nothing.
      I’ll be in my shower.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    (Using my best approximation of the Samuel L. Jackson / Pulp Fiction voice here…)

    Those who support Moore should forever be required to yell “unclean, unclean” because they are moral lepers. As the Good Book says:

    And the leper in whom the plague is, his clothes shall be rent, and his head bare, and he shall put a covering upon his upper lip, and shall cry, Unclean, unclean.
    — Leviticus 13:45

    (Resuming normal Upper Midwest voice, flat affect and all…)

    • I like to read them Mark 23.

      But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4 They
      tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s
      shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move
      them.

      • OddMan

        As long as we are quoting the bible here on Wonkette I just used this one last week on a couple of young ladies who came preaching to the door. Matthew 6.5 and if you want to really get into it Matthew 6.5 to 6.8. I quoted just the first line to the two young ladies and then suggest they read the rest. It is the introduction to the Lord’s Prayer. Kinda an important part of the bible. I then politely took their material, and wished them a good day.

        “5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.
        6 But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
        7 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.
        8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          Pagans? Babbling?

          ..well, maybe some of them-there Druids, who ritualize in Gaelic without knowing how to pronouncify it proper.

  • beingreleased

    “Why yes, his favorite book is Lolita. Why do you ask?”

    • covfefesumgame0005

      and his favorite movie is “Pretty Baby”

    • Wonky Magoo

      If he actually read it, he might start to understand what a monster he is.

      • beingreleased

        So maybe I’ve put too much thought into it, but I’ve been wondering if he would like Lolita. In the book, Humbert Humbert goes to great length to explain himself (unfulfilled love affair when he was young, etc.) and saying that “it isn’t every young girl, only special ones” even though it is clearly every young girl. I could see Moore identifying with Humbert. However, he’s such a moral scold, I’m sure he’d say “Humbert is a pervert – what I have is pure and noble and god-given.”

  • Blackest Noobs

    given Breitfart’s examples of “journalism “excellence,” i assume colleges are running out of room for journalism majors, right?

  • Wonky Magoo

    I just need to get this off my chest:

    When I was fourteen, I “dated” a twenty-five year old I met on a BBS (for non-olds, it was like a pre-internet chat room). When I turned twenty-five, I looked at a group of fourteen-year-olds, understood instinctively that they were children, reconsidered what happened, vomited, and had a minor nervous breakdown.

    I am so full of loathing for every one of these fucks defending Moore. I don’t know how to put it into words. It’s violence, this whole awful news cycle, the stuffed shirts blithely debating the ownership of adolescent bodies. I couldn’t eat yesterday; I can’t focus today. I don’t know where to put the rage.

    • Lulu Mac

      i am sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing. You are not alone and it was not your fault. Maybe you already know that, but that was one of the most important realizations for me to come to. Its NOT. YOUR. FAULT.

    • Alternative Dog

      When I was 14, adults were idiots who just couldn’t understand that I knew everything that needed to be known. When I was the father of an adolescent, I understood that 14-year-olds are children.

      • Tiffany de Houston

        I love your screen name. :)

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Me too, it is awesome.

          • puredog

            I don’t entirely trust it. It’s got kinda a Kellyanne thang goin’ on.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Ha ha, sounds like your nemesis.

      • HooverVilles

        The combination of avatar and screen name is,
        Purrrrrfect!

        This maka teh Ceiling Cat hapi!

        >^o.o^<

    • Courser_Resistance

      Go here, there’s help. I’m so very sorry that happened to you.

      http://www.missamericabyday.com/

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      When I was 14 I knew it all; it was only in hindsight that I realize how very wrong I was. Please don’t beat yourself up for being like every other 14-year-old ever.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      When I was 17, I seduced a 25 year-old. My parents were ready to kill him. He wasn’t that bright. I kept trying to convince them that he was really very immature, as a male.

      ETA: I’m not traumatized because I was 17, which is different than 14, and I was the instigator. I’m sorry that you are suffering from your memories.

    • Shieldmaidenwannabe

      I share your rage. I didn’t even understand how much is still lurking within me until the onslaught of dumbfucks in the past year.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Our kitchen phone cord could reach from the kitchen wall to the dining room, family room, basement stairs, garage and back patio. Unknotting it after all the stretching was a weekly task.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Those super-long spiraly cords, tee hee.

      • SDGeoff3

        Hold them upside down and let the receiver spin.

        • Courser_Resistance

          That wouldn’t have worked with our cord unless I stood on the roof. I’d just detach both ends and run the cord from one end to the other. Hook it back up. The phone will still ring, you just have to hook the cord back up before you answer.

          • SDGeoff3

            Wow. Clever!!

          • Courser_Resistance

            I was the oldest child. I had to be clever to survive ;-)

      • Courser_Resistance

        Yes, I’m old ;-)

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Ours was black, boring.

    • TimResistit

      Yeah, but was yours avacodo like ours was? We were a groovy family. And yes you coluld stretch that cord out to the middle of the next county, if you had to.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Actually, yes, it was avocado. Our whole kitchen was avocado as was the guest bath. Master bath had lavender fixtures, lol!

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        Ours was Harvest Gold, almost as groovy (we did have extra-long blue shag carpet in our living room, that Mom had to rake once/week).

        • Courser_Resistance

          Same here, in shades of green.

        • TimResistit

          Oh yeah, we had shag carpet , too. God help you if you dropped anything sticky on it.

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          My grandmother’s bedroom was done up with two-tone purple shag – a carpet still reclining in my storage locker, waiting for the perfect place to once again unroll it. (Her furniture was all white faux French Provincial as well. Grandma was Kawaii AF)

          • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

            whoa– that sounds awesome!

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            It’s pretty cool. If it wasn’t too large for my current bedroom, I’d be wiggling my toesies in it every morning.

    • Beautiful Soup

      I remember breaking one of the cords by closing a door over it. Surprised it only happened once.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m so confused, you guys. Cords? I thought we were talking about phones.

      • bettycat

        Next you’ll tell us you don’t know where the term “dial” came from.

        • cmd resistor

          The other day I was on hold getting the automated phone menu at I think the doctor’s office. Anyway, the recording kept telling me to “dial” 1, or “dial” 2, and I thought, who even has a phone that can dial anymore?

          • puredog

            And the software almost certainly would recognize only a tone anyway.

          • cmd resistor

            It was just weird.

          • Zyxomma

            I do, I do! When the Great Blackout hit NYC, I had a working phone. Sandy killed my landline for a month. Of course, I have a touch-tone extension phone for menus.

        • theCryptofishist

          From that underarm de-smeller, of course.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I’m actually 40, I just wanted to see how many of you would freak out if I pretended not to know. We used to have this 5-pound powder-blue phone (the kind with the cord that DIDN’T stretch). When my parents finally got a cordless phone (they did everything late, so this was probably early 90s), they let us have the old blue one to play with. I loved that phone.

          I also know what a record scratch sound is.

    • aureolaborealis

      Yep. I used to talk in my bedroom … on the kitchen phone.

      https://top1movie.com/upload/movie/2015/12/09/napoleon-dynamite-20151209213340-242269.jpg

  • Weird Fishes

    “I’m here to take your daughter on our date. You said to come by after she was done with her homework.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6273cd64f154a91c6cffc9e2d840dfd722c0dbe4401899f32045f69695e44ca6.jpg

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Totally skeevey perv face. You know he has heaps of teen pron on his computer.

      • Weird Fishes

        I’m trying very very hard not to think about that.

  • Me not sure

    OK, here’s my little story. In 1979 I too was 32, and just coming out of my first marriage, when one night out with co-workers at a pizza joint we were joined by a group that a friend of mine knew. I struck up a conversation with one of the young women who had come in and ended up asking her out. When we went out and I started to order a bottle of wine at dinner she told me that she was not old enough to drink. I tried not to show her that my head was secretly exploding at the thought of being out with someone only 19 years old. Being a high school teacher I kinda figured that this was not a good thing for my career and made an early night of it. She was nice kid , but I never saw her again.
    The point of all of this is that I remember every minute and fail to see how Roy Moore could forget anything like this. I still can’t hear Steely Dan’s song “Hey Nineteen” without getting chills.

    • puredog

      Because you acted decently. For him, acting indecently happened on days that end in “Y.”

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Weird, because when some guys came forward to say that Seattle’s mayor had sexually molested them when they were minors, even though I adored the mayor and agreed with his politics, I was immediately horrified and hoped he would step down.

    • bettycat

      Just what we would expect some dumb libtard to do. Being consistent and going all moral and holding people to some standard of decency is another sign that you just don’t get it! MAGA!!

  • bubbuhh

    Who at Breitbart is in charge of eating GOPee dicks, like Roy Moore’s, now that Milo has been sent off to other underwears?

    • Cat Cafe

      Putin

  • Jim QuinnX

    At times like this, we should all stand together in our unified hope that this clusterfuck unspools in the slowest, most agonizing way possible. I hope he doesn’t step aside until he’s done maximum damage to the GOP in general and Moore in particular.

    I look forward to many, many more stories about voters who say they know Moore is a pedophile, but they’re voting for him anyway, because Hillary. About more young women coming forward. About reluctant Republicans going WON’T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

    Ah, let the news cycles unfold. Smithers! Fetch the popcorn and sarsaparilla!

  • William
  • NotALiar

    Moore is up by 10 points in a poll today. This piece of shit will probably win. He’s going up against the guy who locked up the evil fucks who perpetrated the Birmingham church bombing and he will lose to this scumbag. Sometimes I really feel like I’ve lost all hope.

  • puredog

    Moore’s lawsuit is going nowhere. If he files it at all — which he probably will, and should, as a matter of tactics (“um, they called you a child molester in print, and you aren’t one, and you’re NOT suing them? Huh”) — he will dismiss it after the election, whatever the electoral results. You read it here first.

    • Johnny Appleseed

      He will never file any lawsuit. He’s afraid of the results.

      • puredog

        When he dismisses it, there won’t BE results. Probably won’t even be time to take his deposition.

        • Johnny Appleseed

          He knows the new accusers name. He signed her yearbook: “To a sweeter, more beautiful girl I could not say “Merry Christmas.” Christmas 1977. Love, Roy Moore D.A.”
          Judge Roy the Rapist!

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      Truth is an affirmative defense in libel law.

  • cmd resistor

    So now Susan Collins is saying Moore should step aside, and Orrin Hatch agrees with McConnell. Old Roy is making a good impression on Mitch, in the event he DOES manage to win and be seated, tweeting:
    “The person who should step aside is [Senate Majority Leader] Mitch McConnell. He has failed conservatives and must be replaced,” Moore said in a tweet.

    • theCryptofishist

      Why can’t it be both?

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    I would love to wipe that shit eating grin off that man’s face. Ken Paxton is another one.

    • Incoming Ham

      Ken “why have I not been prosecuted yet” Paxton. I have no idea how he is still sitting there grinning.

    • Kip TW

      Just in case you run into either, be sure to have some toilet paper with you at all times.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Breitbart should never, ever be within the proximity of the word journalism.

    • Joe Monte

      Bbbbbbut, you just did!

      /head asplodes

    • bbayliss

      You have a problem with their formula?
      1. arrive at conclusion
      2. find evidence that supports conclusion
      3. ignore evidence counter to conclusion
      4. feed it to the guppies
      5. JOURNALISM!!!!!111!!!
      6. profit from billionaire donors

      • Dinz6315

        You misspelled journamalism.

        • bbayliss

          storry

  • IdiotsforPalin
    • Darrell Imaginarian

      Of course it’s all backasswards. The Gospels don’t tell how old Mary was, or Joseph. The Catholics for some odd reason decided Mary was almost as important as God in the Catholic faith, and also decided that they would not only believe she gave birth as a virgin, but also died as a virgin. And to make that vaguely plausible, they invented an oral tradition out of whole cloth that Joseph was a very old man, and therefore impotent, so it didn’t bother him to never sleep with his young wife.

      • Zyxomma

        It wasn’t for some odd reason. It was because the Marian cult appealed to the myriad worshippers of the Great Goddess. Her many manifestations — Rhea, Erde, Venus, Isis, Ceres, and so many more — made Catholicism more palatable. The original Holy Trinity was maid (virgin or not), mother, and crone. The virgin birth was a tradition among the Greeks; hard to find a Greek god who was NOT born of a virgin.

      • Talis

        I think I understand now.
        The Cod of the Christians is the number one pedophile.

    • Fr. James Martin said this about it:

      “First, sexual abuse is a crime. Any comparison between the loving relationship between Mary and Joseph and sexual abuse, or sexual harassment, is monstrous, even blasphemous.

      Second, despite the artistic representations with which we are familiar, we have no idea of the exact ages of Mary and Joseph at the time of their betrothal and marriage. The Gospels do not specify this at all, other than to call Mary a “parthenon” (in Greek either a young woman or a virgin). Joseph is often depicted in art as older than Mary, in fact, considerably older, so as to make him seem less “sexualized,” and to emphasize Mary’s virginity. But in fact, both Mary and Joseph could have been the same age. Again, using their relationship to, in any way, excuse or legitimize the sexual abuse of a minor or sexual harassment is monstrous.

      Third, any comparison to Jesus, the sinless one, in terms of “persecution” is also out of bounds. As my Jesuit novice director once told us, “Just because people oppose you doesn’t mean that you’re like Jesus, or even that you’re like one of the prophets. It may just mean that you’re wrong.”

      https://www.facebook.com/FrJamesMartin/posts/10154879334256496

      • Oona

        FYI Mary’s conception was immaculate. She was conceived without original sin. Just so she could carry the Son of God. Long term planning.

        • Talis

          For Anyone’s Information none of the godchild legend has been shown to be true.

  • Panika MCD

    a) it is my belief that adverbs are evil unless used sparingly. not that I have a problem with Evan’s adverbs. I just don’t understand why all Breitbart stories have “matter-of-factly” in them. it’s as if they don’t even know how to read intonation and say that about everyone.

    b) I’m surprised that they didn’t ask Nancy Wells if she indeed gave Moore a permission slip for perving on her daughter.

    • cmd resistor

      Perhaps they think the “factly” in “matter-of-factly” means what the person said is “fact.” Or, as opposed to “hysterically” which would be the opposite and imply untruthfulness.

      • Panika MCD

        doesn’t make adverbs suck less.

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      It shows that those assholes don’t know how to write a story, much less how to use quotes.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    After a couple of drinks last night I went to deadbreitbart site……what a bunch of morons. They’d vote for dried turd over a democrat……but talk about stupid.

    • kaydenpat

      Thankfully, they’re not the majority as evidenced last Tuesday night. They’ll completely melt down if Moore loses in December.

      • IdiotsforPalin

        Can not wait…..

      • HooverVilles

        Please please please.

  • FeloniousMonk

    It was no big deal that he’d falsely claimed he didn’t take a salary from a charity where he “worked,” to put himself in a good light, when he actually took $180,000 per year. Nor that he’d been impeached, twice, from being a Judge because he won’t obey federal court orders.

    I get falling for a sociopath’s crap once in a while, but guys like Moore and Trump aren’t even hiding it. And then some non-voter tells me that they don’t feel like they know enough to vote responsibly. Better to leave it to others. It’s a mad world folks.

    • Oona

      I do not understand why the GOP does not turn on more of these jerks and launch a write in campaign for someone. Roy Moore will not fall in line when its time to trade favors and votes and pork. Putting him in the room does not get republicans closer to their goals. It is in their best interest to declare him NOT A TRUE Republican and run someone they can bend. Or already bent their way.

    • HooverVilles

      ^^^THIS^^^

  • generalleeme

    Would it be wrong to speculate but a friend shared with me that this was Roy Moore’s go to song on his playlist…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJFVPxBpezk

  • Manhattan123

    Cancel the Pulitzer jury this year. No need to even debate. We have the winner.

  • Darrell Imaginarian

    It was a strange time. Not only did people not have their own phones, but multiple phones in the same house would ring at the same time, and there was nothing to stop you from picking one up to listen in on somebody else’s conversation.

    • javadavis

      Some areas even had multiple phones using the same line in ^different households*. You could sometimes pick up the phone and hear somebody else’s conversation *in a whole different house*. Sort of like Homeland Security today, allegedly.

      • Sarah E. Grove

        Yep. I remember them. Called “party-line phones” the whole fuckin’ neighborhood could listen in.

  • quantum mechanic

    Roy Moore ends Ted Cruz’s 48 month long, Guinness World Record holding for nation’s most punchable face. Mitch McConnell calls the results “highly suspect I mean have you seen me lately?”

    • kaydenpat

      Lol!! Why can’t we punch them all?

      • Let them punch each other.

      • Carla Vandermeer

        Find the gentleman who hit Herr Spencer.

    • Minnesota Passive Aggression

      Jesse Watters and Trump jr are making a late charge.

      • Talis

        They are dating?

    • phoenix00

      Ted Cruz’s face will always be the most punchable in America.

      Roy Moore should be punched everywhere else.

      • Sarah E. Grove

        Martin Shrekli still holds the Title for me.

        Roy should be kicked in the balls, often.

  • kaydenpat

    They will twist themselves into pretzels to defend one of their own. And they’ll twist themselves into pretzels to take down an opponent. This is strictly tribal to them. They could care less about whether or not Moore is a child predator.

    • Pisto75666

      But that he’s not a lie-brul, that’s the important part!

      • laineypc

        Nothing is worse than that.

  • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

    Calling people and getting them to talk — sure sounds like reporting to this old editor.

    • ryp

      Sure, if you’re a fake news reporter.

      • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

        Don’t make me come over there.

        • Sarah E. Grove

          If Ryp makes you go over there, call me. I’ll get my flying monkeys and we’ll join you!

  • Lady Willpower

    “Where’s your proof? Where’s the evidence? These are all just allegations! What happened to innocent until proven guilty?!”

    – Guy who believes every single bogus, unsubstantiated story about Bill Clinton’s sex life.

    • SKruetheratbassedarDs

      . . . and believes that the Clintons personally have ordered more “hits” than the 5 families in NYC combined (thanks Hannity).

      • Jay Silversmith

        ….not to mention satanic, subterranean, pizza-parlor, pedophile, ping-pong parties with pre-pubescents.

  • Cheryl

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    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It Sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  • Jay Silversmith

    The REAL story here is not so much that ole’ roy perved on teenage girls at the mall, but that he dressed in DRAG so he could watch them pee-pee in the women’s restroom.

  • Pluto Animus

    I’m waiting for the Conservative ‘logic’ to eat its own tail:

    “Moore didn’t try to have sex with teenage girls — the whole time he was an assistant D.A., he was only having sex with men who were consenting adults.”

  • I’m so embarassed to ask this; I should’ve done it YEARS ago, but is Breitbart pronounced Brite-bart as it ought to be in deutsch or do they turn it into Breet-bart?

    As a New Englander visiting PA I was always giggling about businesses named Kiester

    • Sarah E. Grove

      I’m wondering that myself. I’m pretty hard-of-hearing, so when I’m home, I take my “ears” out and just use captioning.

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