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This week, when the news dropped that Reddit was banning the Incels subreddit, a lot of people asked me “But Robyn, WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GET YOUR MATERIAL NOW?”

Unfortunately, as this past week has drilled into our heads over and over and over again, it is unlikely that this is a topic I shall ever, ever be running out of material on. Though I wish I would. That would be nice! That would be the best week ever.

It would be nice, almost, if all the garbage men were the obvious ones, the ones lurking on internet message boards, talking about how mad they are at women who wear leggings. If we could say, definitively, that they are all in their mother’s basements, not actually bothering anyone in real life. That is, alas, not the case.

I am not going to spend any part of this day, however, scraping the bowels of Reddit for a bunch of gross misogyny. I can’t. Both personally and professionally, this week and the last has been a little much for me.

It is time for a well-deserved Silkwood shower.

Right now, I am doing a nice face mask, I am re-reading the S.C.U.M. manifesto, I am drinking my special soda that isn’t really soda (seltzer, key lime juice and 5 drops of vanilla flavored stevia stuff — you should try it, it is good and delicious), I am going to iron my hair and listen to some Odetta, and then I am putting make-up and a nice dress on and going to the wedding of a very bad ass lady I know. Because that’s the thing about being a woman. When life throws a bunch of garbage men at you, you still have to figure out a way to pull yourself back together and soldier on.

Shit, I’m even gonna do some contouring. And yes, I am saying this only as an excuse to post this video, which is amazing and hilarious.

So instead, I am going to salute all of the women that have been awesome this week and during all the other shit weeks, and all of the men who have not been garbage. Which, sure, is like five of you at this point, but I’m glad you’re around. You know who you are. I am going to encourage everyone for whom this has been a particularly rough month to go and do some self-care, whatever that means for you.

AND NOW THIS IS YOUR OPEN THREAD. Enjoy yourselves and don’t forget to leave us a tip, if you can!

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  • Covfefe
    • Msgr_MΩment

      They’re about as credible as Putin.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Obama should have delayed the election. lol

    • eggs ackly-wright

      This is fine.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Putting him at the kiddie table is a horrible idea.

    • schmannity

      Redneck Revolt of 2018.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Apparently, it may be possible for the Alabama gov to delay the election (jury’s out on legality of that move) until a “better” GOP candidate can be found. Not that that would be a subversion of democracy or anything.
      https://twitter.com/JoeMyGod/status/929411984914653184?s=17

    • schmannity
      • Covfefe

        I suppose I’ll have to pass that off as snark.

        • schmannity

          Luther Strange.

          • bupkus231

            How is this guy not known as Strange Luther?

  • Fartknocker

    Have a wonderful day Robyn and go forth as a badass woman.

  • schmannity

    Hey, before the wedding, any chance for a sammich?

    • John Thorstensen

      Only if you prepend the request with “sudo”.

    • Shanzgood

      The kind with knuckles, right?

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        Vegemite sammich it is!

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Can you hear, can you hear that chunder?

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Something Reubenesque?

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Definitely not. If you eat before the wedding there is less room for cake.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    I’m not sure why you would do heavy landscaping before a wedding, but do what you have to…

    That is what “contouring” means right?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      So THAT’S why Rand Paul’s neighbor body-slammed him. With votes.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Oh sod off.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Turf guy, huh?

        • Paul

          Careful or your ass is grass.

    • Shanzgood

      You should look up “edging” as well.

      • theCryptofishist

        How far will you go to dig up dirt?

        • Shanzgood

          I will do anything to root it out.

  • Raan

    Can anyone explain what raw honey is, because I just bought some at the flea market.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Motor oil.

    • Shanzgood

      Unpasteurized, I think.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      The National Institutes of Health report you should never consume raw honey in order to prevent food poisoning, particularly if you are already immunocompromised. It’s especially dangerous to give raw honey to infants under the age of one. According to MayoClinic.com, giving raw honey to infants may cause infant botulism, a rare but serious gastrointestinal sickness caused by exposure to bacterial spores. Infant botulism can be life-threatening.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Pooh bait.

    • Vel Venturi

      It’s not pasteurized. I bought some myself at a farmer’s market and have been living on the edge, eating it on toast.

      • Teecha

        You’re off the fucking chain!

      • Courser_Resistance

        I find it very yummy.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Give me all your monies for Puerto Rico recently bottled waters.

    • John Thorstensen

      If you take Doll’s advice below, the Gargle produces lots of articles on how to pasteurize raw honey, I probably would do so myself.

    • calliecallie

      Supposed to be good for you, I think. Locally sourced honey helps fight seasonal allergies or something.

      • theCryptofishist

        Local allergies, because they will have the pollen in it already. So it makes no sense, I’m probably missing a step.
        4. Profit.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          woo = $$$ ka-ching.

          • Mehmeisterjr

            I’m waiting until GOOP drops the price to $875 per millileter.

          • theCryptofishist

            Yes, but are all claims about honey woo? Aren’t you supposed to pack an open wound with it while someone hikes out of the wilderness area and explains that someone has said open wound?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Great stuff, unpasteurized, meaning all the various pollens, yeasts and natural microbes are still alive. I use it to make Mead. But don’t feed it to children under 3. Their immune systems can’t cope yet.

    • disqus_TOYiKe

      Raw honey is just fine and not dangerous at all. Please read reliable sources on this rather than ‘some blog comment.’ That goes for my rejection of the claim that raw honey is unsafe.

    • guppy06

      “Raw honey” sounds like a stripper name.

  • Mavenmaven

    Who needs Incels when a senate candidate and his supporters are defending dating minors?

  • John Thorstensen

    Yow, that kid in the contouring video is pretty amazing!

    • Shanzgood

      Check out her Thanksgiving makeup tutorial!

  • Darlene Underdahl

    I find myself thinking about men’s clubs, and how they’ve always tried to discourage women, minorities and nerdy white men. How they try to bond or get something on each other.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Men’s clubs are left overs from an era where that’s how you expanded your network and advanced in industry. Call it Bronze Age Facebook. The fact they were all men simply reflected the reality women weren’t welcome or accepted in industry, politics, etc.

      Surviving men’s clubs are an anachronism and yes, basically pander to soppy feels by certain men that “things were better” when there was a place to go that women weren’t welcome. Well, except the dancers, crossdressers and prostitues…depending on the time period.

  • I’m not even two minutes into this video and i’m laughing my ass off

    • John Thorstensen

      Careful, there — be sure it remains firmly attached! It’s very useful for both sitting AND standing.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I’m actually rather pleased that theres no garbage men to end this day with.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Ummm…i know your gun laws are lax, but WHAT THE FUCK?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Apparently his story is his neighbor made it to kill another neighbor, then changed his mind and gave it to him. Then somebody dropped a dime on him.

    • calliecallie

      Did they draw an outline around his head, or is that his facial hair. Weird.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Not that having a pipe bomb is a good thing, but when did pipe bombs become WMDs? I guess we have Shrub and Chaney to thank for that. Now we can claim that any anyone has WMDs so we can invade.

      • Raan

        They wouldn’t invade him, he doesn’t have any oil.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    A lone incel troll showed up yesterday in the thread for Robyn’s “open letter.” It was just a one-and-done troll. I assume he had nowhere to go after Reddit evicted him.

    • Stulexington

      Sounds like he was lost.

    • John Thorstensen

      Was this the guy who suggested that men actually don’t like looking at women’s bodies? That’ll be news in the pron industry.

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        Something about how women shouldn’t dress sexy because it hurts his feelings, or whatever.

        • Teecha

          Poor likkle babber.

        • John Thorstensen

          Yeah, that guy. He got his ass handed to him pretty quickly.

  • calliecallie

    What this week has demonstrated quite clearly to me is that not only is there a swath of white men – a relatively small swath, I hope – that think that people of color are lesser beings, 3/5ths, if you will, but that women also are lesser beings.

    They do not see any of us as being as valuable as they are. I think they will come to regret their arrogance. I hope so, anyway.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve had some really unpleasant interactions with white men this last year. Generally the older ones. I live across the street from a crapton of millennials and the white males seem only the typical level of stupid, but fairly decent.

      • Darlene Underdahl

        They’re getting more upset. I’m not looking forward to the holidays.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Yeah, it’ll get uglier before it gets better. I read an article somewhere this morning (Daily Beast, Guardian maybe?) that the backlash is coming. Women are finally roaring and they’re going to roar back at some point. I’ m not looking forward to it either.

          • Shanzgood

            Susan Faludi agrees.

          • Darlene Underdahl

            I might have to put distance between myself and a neighbor. He’s smart (former NSA), but I think his brain is going soft from too much Fox. And I don’t back down.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Good plan.

          • Eileen Besse

            …but I think WE’LL win!

      • calliecallie

        Didn’t we though? ;-)

    • Covfefe

      Isn’t this what MAGA is all about?

    • puredog

      Ad women of color are 9/25ths. MATH IS HARD.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Contouring. I’ve never understood it, but it does work well for some markup wizards, many of whom are drag queens who can draw makeup circles around my sad attempts at prettying myself up.

    The vid is hysterical, though.

    • I periodically will stab myself in the eye during my infrequent attempts to apply mascara

      • Courser_Resistance

        Mine was all dried up the last time I wanted to use it. I need to check to see if I ever replaced it. Not that I use it often these days but hopefully I’ll get some interviews at some point.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve *tried* to do it, but honestly, I have no idea if I ever succeeded at anything other than making myself look ridiculous.

    • Teecha

      It’s stage makeup really.

      But when you go to Sephora and the woman applies foundation with a trowel, the contouring stops you looking completely like Data from that kids’ space show.

  • Stulexington

    That Roy fellow really provided all the material necessary to talk about garbage men this week, no special segment required.

  • BloviateMe

    “Back in my day, you had to EARN being an incel, by getting married. Get off my lawn.”

    • Bemused

      I know it ruins this particular line of jokes, but statistically married people have more sex than single people.

      • BloviateMe

        Henny Youngman scowls at you from his grave.

  • schmannity

    Remember when right wing trollers accused Mohammed of being a pedophile and marrying a 9 year old as proof of the inferiority of belief?

    Me.neither

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      It’s not in scripture, but by some accounts, Maryam was 16 when she married Mohammed. Still too old for Roy Moore.

      • schmannity

        Past her prime 12-14 years.

    • J. M. Tusks, Esq.

      Mary’s age was never specified but if she broke 13 before the “immaculate” conception, I’d be impressed by Joseph’s restraint.

  • Garbageman

    Trenton Garmon, an attorney for Roy Moore‘s family, nicknamed CNN’s Don Lemon “Don easy peasy Lemon squeezy.” . . . These guys are hilarious!

    https://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2017/11/lemon-squeezy.html

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      “Dated,” yeah. Even assuming the young women were of legal age by that point, that’s some creeper predatory shit.

    • puredog

      TL;DR. “I knew Roy, thought he was a weird creeper, though technically legal. Errybody did.”

    • Timothy Watson

      I mentioned yesterday that being a judge in rural area gives someone something close to absolute power. No one in law-enforcement (sheriff, district attorney) is going to go against you, even if it’s clear that criminal activity is probably going on.

    • schmannity

      IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        You certainly put the CK in “ICK!”. No, wait, he did that himself. To himself. With himself. But, unfortunately not *by* himself…

        • schmannity

          It’s OK Louie, I mean Meanie-meanie, tickle a person. Even Mel Gibson’s rehabbed. Give it a decade.

    • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

      Now Alabamians are angry at the WaPo letting the rest of the country in on what used to be a local open secret. “The Clinton-Obama Machine attacked our candidate!”

    • Left Coast Tom

      A former prosecutor wonders why a 35 year old man who “dated” minors would hang out where kids gather?

      • guppy06

        It’s not like he was violating Alabama law…

    • Persistent Demme

      “Dated?!”
      Oh, please!

    • Christopher Story

      Yuck. Bad. Nasty things with votes.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Ew, forever.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Because Moore couldn’t handle an adult woman who would want to be treated as an equal, who might be smarter, more mature and maybe more experienced than he was? Anyone who fetishizes a two-ton sculpture of the Ten Commandments might have other ideas that are childishly underdeveloped, was my inference.

    • Khavrinen

      He could see into the future, but all he managed to pick up was that Matthew McConaughey clip from “Dazed and Confused”?

    • (((Aron)))

      ‘You get older, they stay the same age.’

    • Celtic_Gnome

      “No matter how old I get, they always stay the same age.”

  • Courser_Resistance

    I feel like I’ve been taking body blows for the last two weeks. Shootings, Sex Abuse, And like, EVERY Fucking other thing!

    But today is a good day. I got the Lyft car washed, my laundry done and my pot of soup divided into freezer meals, all before noon.

    I think I’m on the way back up.

    • schmannity

      puram, et superiora loca

    • Flashman

      Plus, you’re getting a tax cut.

    • Lyft car?

      • Courser_Resistance

        I rent a car through Lyft. I try to keep it nice for passengers

        • Oh? I dunno why, but I thought services like that required you to use your own car

          • Courser_Resistance

            Generally, you do. But in some markets, like Denver, Lyft (and I think Uber has their own deal, too) partners with Hertz to rent their slightly-over-the-hill rental cars to people who don’t have a qualifying vehicle. To qualify for Lyft, your car has to be a 4 door no older than 2011.

  • schmannity

    I am very torn about which would hurt the GOP more: Moore winning or losing.

    • Stulexington

      They seem torn on that as well.

      • Indeniable Ron

        GOOD.

      • puredog

        Because, Pollyanna-like, I continue to cling to the idea that most of us are Democrats, and most of us are decent, I think Imma go with Moore winning, just to prime the pump. But it’s a poser.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          I’ll go with Moore losing. Even if he wins and gets rejected by the Senate, Gov Ivey will simply appoint a different Republican. Its better to have a Democrat in the seat.

    • Christopher Story

      I love the idea of Mcturtle and Speaker Horseface sweating their balls off for the next month, trying to decide which damage control measures they’re gonna have to take after the election.

      • schmannity

        Their going to sneak a national age of consent of 10 into the tax bill.

    • Christopher Story

      Donald Trump promised us “Moore” winning. I guess he was being literal.

      • schmannity

        He was right; I AM sick of Moore winning!

  • TJ Barke

    That lady is awesome.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    To honor the Women’s March – the largest one-day protest in US history. 1000 progressive women signed up to become first-time political candidates. They persisted, a movement was born, and on Tuesday of this week we all saw the results.

    “The March of the Women,” anthem of the Suffragette movement.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCtGkCg7trY

  • Shanzgood

    I have a Good Times Garbage Men story. At least *I* think it is.

    When I was in 8th or 9th grade, a boy from my orchestra class decided it would be a good idea to grab my ass when I was drinking from the water fountain outside the classroom.

    It was definitely not a good idea. I dropped all my books and chased that little fucker all through the hallways. I don’t know what I yelled at him but he was FAST and he got away. Every time I saw him for the rest of the day, I tried to catch him but he always escaped.

    The next day as we were waiting to be let into the orchestra room, this little shitheel strolled past me, smirking, like it was all over and done with and he’d gotten away with something. That infuriated me as much as the initial ass-grabbing.

    So I offloaded my books again, grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and slammed him up against the lockers with my fist cocked back, ready to punch him right in his smug damn face even though I’d never hit anyone before.

    “WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!”

    He was terrified. Absolutely terrified. His eyes were bugged out and all he could do was stammer. I guess that was enough since I let him go and didn’t punch him after all. He also never bothered me again.

    The end.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      That boy grew up to be…

      Sean Hannity. Now you know the rest of the story.

      • BloviateMe

        I love that story. Tell it again.

      • Shanzgood

        Pft! His name was definitely not Sean!

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Brava!

    • Teecha

      I, for one, love it.

      At uni, my mate used to occasionally go home with this bloke who we called Eddie. I could never understand why, coz he was an arse, but he was her regular ten-to-twoer.

      One night he grabbed my arse while I was at the bar. I grabbed his wrist and dug my nails in. I told him if he touched me again, I’d lamp him. He was much taller than me (I’m 5′ and 1/2″) (the half is important)
      He touched me again. I fucking lost it, he’d really tried to get all gynaecological on me. So I punched him as hard as I could in the jaw. I’d never hit anyone before (apart from my brother) and I really hurt my hand. He went down like a ton of bricks.

      It felt great. He didn’t fucking touch me again

      • SDGeoff3

        I did a school bully in once and wound up pushing him down a very steep flight of stairs. I left him there unconscious. Eigth grade. I would do it again.
        His parents put him in anoother school and I bet he never smashed another kid’s violin again.

        • Teecha

          I always tell my kids that violence isn’t the answer. And then I tell them that story and that sometimes (although I can’t officially say it) violence is the answer.

          The trick is to pick your moment. And to care enough to know that even though you might get physically hurt, if you don’t fucking do it, you’re going to get hurt anyway. And possibly for an extended period of time.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Exactly this.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Violence may not be a good answer but not all answers are perfect…

          • Teecha

            Sometimes you just have to smack someone or they will never learn.

          • SDGeoff3

            I learned some Lessons from teachers, which were a result of being a jackass. It worked right away, and eventually I started paying attention for later, as it turned out!

          • Jonny On Maui

            As my dad said, “Get their attention with a 2×4…”

          • SDGeoff3

            Not all 13 year-olds have that discipline. I did not, after four years with this kid.

          • SDGeoff3

            That’s how I taught, too, for thirty years. I wound up as a popular teacher, and it was rare that any kid fucked with me, because I built a reputation from Day One. I never had to raise my voice.: I employed The Look, and if it went that far, they got The Tone. I made them embarrassed for what ever it was they tried to pull.
            I still see a few and everyone of them says, “I’ll never forget the time you said, or I still tell the story of when you,,,”
            And I was the music teacher for chrissakes!

          • SadDemInTex

            My ex-father-in-law was a music teacher (may he Rest In Peace…I really loved him) and he used to “accidently” run a badly misbehaving kid into the wall…several times. It worked…and my FIL was a great mentor to all his students. He was a good man.

          • SDGeoff3

            Back in the fifties and sixties, that worked on the Deplorables. It was how we were taught. But it was never part of my teaching technique. The teachers I recall with fondness were the strictest, but also the most fair. But as you know, they laid the life lessons on!

      • Shanzgood

        Good! I hope he and my ass-grabber both learned the same thing: Don’t.

        • Teecha

          The bouncers came over and took him out for a ‘discussion’ in the alley outside. I hope he mended his behaviour in general, not just with me.

          I’ve had a go at men who’ve tried that shit since, and a couple of them have had the decency to look ashamed and apologise, but enough of them didn’t- seemed surprised that I wouldn’t want their sweaty mitts all over me.

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      • Carole

        I understand why. Some of the biggest asshats in the history of mankind have been called Eddie.

        • Teecha

          We called him eddie coz he had an air of eddie Izzard about him 😀

          • Carole

            Oh, I was thinking of Eddie Haskell and Eddie Munster. I like Eddie Izzard.

      • armed_bears

        (apart from my brother)

        Confirming my suspicion of the evolutionary role played by brothers: Whackable Test Men.

    • TJ Barke

      0_o

      • Shanzgood

        I swung but missed the one who snapped my bra in art class.

    • shivaskeeper

      Very good.

    • Paganish

      Brava!

    • Alternative Dog

      All these Wonkette women I’m coming to know and love remind me very much of my favorite female friends from high school. Some things never change.

    • Carole

      Great story.

      Some hebophile grabbed my daughter’s ass in a parking lot when she was 12. She didn’t tell us about it until it was too late to catch him and, er, phone the police [whispers – grind his face into the asphalt]. Shortly thereafter, she started taking martial arts. I almost feel sorry for anyone who tries to grab her ass now.

      • Shanzgood

        My daughter took lesson, too, for a long time. She’s currently out at a comic convention with her “sensei” dressed as Kimpossible.

      • Morrigan in Oregon

        A Hebephile is defined as an adult who has a strong sexual, emotional and spiritual attraction and/or preference for. adolescents, (post-pubescent children) My Gawd, we now have a name for Moore.

    • SadDemInTex

      This story is a shout out to my 5’2” older sister. About 20 years ago we were walking in the London suburb where she lived in the evening. The pubs were full of rugger or football fans (I’m not sure which). There was a lot of drunk creeps about. (It was a lovely pleasant temp and I was wearing a summer dress and I’m sure two petite women seemed easy to molest) there was this guy who was wearing a huge strap-on dildo and he came over to me (just walking by post dinner with my sister) and he kept shoving the dildo into me (my side, my butt) while laughing with his mates. I just kept trying to get away without getting him mad but my sister (who dealt with misogynistic jerks in her business) got really mad. She has always had really long nails…she took her thumb nail and put it in that vulnerable spot in the neck between the collar bones and shoved him away. It definitely hurt him…he called her unprintable English curse words…but he then left us alone. I was so proud to be her sister.

    • Alan

      Can’t say I ever played grabass uninvited. Once invited however….

    • Holly

      Well played – Bravo Shanz!

  • Carole

    I was cruising the FB page of a famous cyberpunk author where — lo and behold — someone had posted an article written for Bust Magazine by our very own, darling Robyn. Nice job! http://bust.com/feminism/15551-mo-beta-blues.html

  • puredog

    That special soda sounds to me like it needs moar potato juice. Then again, many things sound that way to me.

  • puredog

    Thanks! Godspeed? (Who are the other four?)

    • Jonny On Maui

      TJBarke, Baconz, William and msanthropesmr…

  • I’m a 56 year-old woman who has spent less than $10 on makeup her entire life, and has no special animosity towards men because I despise all humans equally.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      RAmen.

    • BloviateMe

      Only the Sith deal in absolutes.

    • SDGeoff3

      That’s the way to live.

    • Covfefe

      My wife never needed makeup.

      • I have to say, I adore my girl friends for dressing themselves up in makeup. To care about your appearance is truly a way of pleasing others (in a good way). I honestly couldn’t be bothered. I spend my days around horses and hounds and I can’t worry about applying things to my face – except a moist towelette now and then. I have also been to a haircutting salon 3 times in my adult life. My boyfriend (of 21 years) is easy to please thankfully.

        • William

          My wife comes home from the gym covered in sweat and chalk. I love her because she has the courage to fulfill her dream, not someone else’s.

          • Beautiful.
            I was also blessed with a metabolism that makes my food turn into muscle rather than cellulite so I don’t have to intentionally exercise – which is good because I lack the discipline.

          • William

            Oh she’s a compulsive fitness participant.

          • William

            Our first five dates were gym dates. When people ask “what are you guys doing today?” The typical answer might be back and bi’s or chest and tri’s. It all seems to fit I guess.

          • That’s awesome. I have horses and pastures and barns to clean, and that keeps me moving. Exercise is crucial for mental health.

    • Courser_Resistance

      You go girl!

    • Alternative Dog

      My kind of woman.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      That’s the spirit!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I like people but I really hate the human species. Stupid, selfish and short-sighted, the lot of them.

    • grindstone

      I like your life, ma’am!
      I can admire the video and the skill it takes to apply makeup well, but I can’t really wear it. A porcelain face on a freckled-all-to-hell person like me looks off, for one, and for two makeup other than a little eye stuff makes me feel like I’m suffocating. I watch the videos and give it a shot and then immediately wash everything off.

      • Oh my god I LOVE freckles. Freckles can do no wrong – EVER.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    She’s right. I love pterodactyls.

  • the_steamer

    And hey, salute all the women that have served and sacrificed for their country on this Veteran’s day.

  • SDGeoff3

    Odetta! You have won my heart forever. Maybe longer.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    As the incel movement fades into obscurity, I wonder what insidious plot the losers are coming up with to further humiliate themselves in the public square.

    • Boojum

      The Masturbatorium.

  • meh

    Another salute to the women who have brought about change, and not just this week. Appreciate your writing a *lot*.

  • William

    Of all the things I worry about, having some right wing entitled asshole assault my wife isn’t one of them….for some reason. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/be73efddbd866e74beb21c7b0a08cd856e13b1fdc0a1c9566feb9fa6d56c3b9a.jpg

  • SayItWithWookies

    Just ’cause this post ought to be uplifting and women-centric, here’s a woman I wished I’d known more about: Dolores Kendrick, DC poet laureate, literature professor and all-around badass, who passed away last week at the age of 90:

    In five books of lyrical, frequently conversational poetry, she established herself as what Joanne Gabbin, founder of the Furious Flower Poetry Center at James Madison University, described as “the poet’s poet”: a friend and favorite of African American writers such as Michael S. Harper, Rita Dove and James Baldwin, with whom she dined in Paris and hosted at Exeter.

    “Dolores Kendrick is one of the important writers of our times,” another friend, Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Gwendolyn Brooks, told the Washington Times in 1999. “Her work is careful, accessible, warmly aggressive. She is a passionate poet, but always manages control, avoiding sloppy emotion.”

    “Still, Carrie, be still, child. Don’t cry,” Ms. Kendrick wrote in “Hattie on the Block,” about a mother and daughter who are nearly separated as they’re sold into slavery:

    See. They finished the biddin’. Money
    be paid. We’s together, God heard my
    haltin’ words through the ears of these
    deafened people; you an’ me from this strange
    pulpit. Look lively, child. We be sold,
    but we ain’t bought.

    She was first appointed DC poet laureate for a three-year term in 1999, but continued to serve until her death.

  • bbayliss

    This must have been a tough week for you, you deserve a massage.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    And they were canned too, the monsters!
    https://twitter.com/BW_Jones/status/929387493614608390?s=17

  • Persistent Demme

    I heart fierce and eccentric contour woman!

  • Alternative Dog
    • Christopher Story

      “29 Images Taken Moments Before Tragedy Struck”

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Another Good Times Garbage Men story:

    I was 17. After a family tragedy I was sent to the tiny island of Nevis to recover. There was an airline pilot vacationing there with his family who spent an unhealthy amount of time asking me about my hopes and dreams. I was young, I was naive, I answered his questions and didn’t think much of it.

    One day we were at the beach and he suggested that I come sailing with him (on a Sunfish as I remember). When he made certain that we were out of sight of his wife and child on the shore he told me that we should be a bit closer, grabbed my ass and pulled me toward him.

    His mistake. I had control of the sail, and I immediately swung it out, capsizing the boat. I went under the hull. I’ll never forget his terror as he dove under, yelling out my name. He righted the boat and we sailed back in silence. If looks could kill, he would never have made it back to shore.

    The End.

    • Teecha

      I love it.

    • Shanzgood

      Nice! I hope you fucked up his boat!

    • Carole

      The only thing better would be to jibe the sailboat and have the boom hit him in the head. That way, you would have stayed dry. But cool story, nonetheless.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        It was a knee-jerk reaction on my part, but I’m glad that we went into the drink, and I’m glad that he panicked.

        So satisfying.

        • Carole

          I wish you’d left him there. You are a better person than I.

    • SDGeoff3

      You’re good.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Persistent Demme

      Dogs are so happy when they feel like they’re doing a “job.”

      • Serai 1

        I wish I could remember where I read the anecdote about the Border Collie and the room full of party guests. Apparently this collie was made very nervous by SO MANY UNRULY PEOPLE, so she started walking through the room very gently nudging people at the back of the knees. Thus, over about an hour’s time, she managed to herd every guest at the party into a group in the middle of the room, and they didn’t even realize it until it was done and the dog was happily trotting around the group grinning!

        • Persistent Demme

          Sounds like them!
          When I lived in England, Corgis were the rage, (cause the queen had a bunch).
          These cow-herding dogs were known for doing this.
          They had a particular reputation for herding children at birthday parties.
          (I’ll bet they weren’t as gentle as a Border Collie!)

          • Serai 1

            I’ve thought about getting a corgi. But even though I love them, dogs require a bit too much attention for me. There are a couple that live here on the property, and I really enjoy hanging out with them, but I also enjoy being able to close the door and forget about them, as they are not my dogs. And as I understand it, a corgi would probably be too much OMGOMGOMG – if I were gonna get one, I’d need a staid, quiet, dignified kinda dog.

          • Persistent Demme

            I agree.
            A good friend of mine has two corgis.
            They are affectionate and smart, but not mellow or calm at all.
            Really bright dogs, (I used to have a standard poodle that was super-smart), can be really interesting, but can also be neurotic, and into ‘head games” because think too hard, and worry too much. (Also, our poodle adored my oldest daughter, and had very little respect for my younger one, and that was really annoying.)
            My current boys are very simple, mellow and loving creatures. They are easy to deal with.

  • beingreleased

    A tweet I saw earlier: We should ban men until we figure out what the hell is going on.

    • Boojum

      WHERE IS MY CONCENTRATION CAMP!!!

  • guppy06

    all of the men who have not been garbage. Which, sure, is like five of you at this point

    Lately I feel I’ve been seriously slacking in my performance as a dirty old man…

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Thanks to Mrs. Grammarian, and the writings of Becca, Robyn and $5F, I am

      Saxo the Grammarian…

      Now with 33% *less* garbage!!!

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Self-improvement is terribly thrilling!

    • Shanzgood

      Don’t worry, my dad will cover for you.

    • Carole

      My stepfather-in-law will leer at a teenager in your honor.

  • This week has been garbage. I had to put down my best furry friend on Monday. Now I go to a party and drink though I want to crawl into bed and drink instead.

    • Eileen Besse

      SO sorry….

    • shivaskeeper

      That sucks.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      So sorry to hear about your pet. I hope after a while you find another friend.

    • theCryptofishist

      I’m so sorry. It’s one of the hardest things to do, and yet, there comes a time when all you are doing is prolonging suffering.

    • Teecha

      I’m sorry to hear that. It’s so hard to lose a furry loved one

      Big love from here. Xx

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m so very sorry. {{{Hugs}}}

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      It was me, I’d say fuck the party, stay home and toast my li’l buddy. But then I hate parties anyway…

    • Carole

      I’m sad for you. It sucks that they have so little time on this earth when so many shitty people seem to live forever.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Oh, I am so sorry for your terrible loss! My heartfelt condolences.

    • Persistent Demme

      So sorry.

    • William

      Sorry for your loss. You gave a noble creature a good life. My guess is that very same creature gave it back in good measure. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0ee9f466d2f553285bdf4a0cfd06c2da84dc928685e7fdedd127d18a3966778b.jpg

    • My heart hurts for you, and knows what you’re feeling. My PBP is 16 (avg. lifespan is 14) and doing great on arthritis meds, but the devestating day will come when Wilbur will not be at the front porch oinking for his breakfast.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4be66ea5bf476865f9f82000923d48ca5eb8c263621bb76a98c21f9c5a98063c.jpg

    • Indeniable Ron

      In your place I’d blow off the party. I think forcing yourself to be sociable will just make everything worse.

    • grindstone

      Ohhhh…Dammit…I’m so sorry. Words fail.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Why does Trump, a man who is not honest, expect us to believe a world leader, any world leader, to honestly answer such a question?

    And how much rope do you give Republicans…how many yards must we suffer before you hang him high? i mean shit…couldve had him impeached by now and had Pence signing that tax cut bill and health care bill by March….well if you guys somehow miraculously got YO shit together and write ’em laws, right.

    • msanthropesmr

      I know – this is the bizarre thing – they could have everything they wanted, much easier, if they just got rid of the buffoon – but they won’t.

      • Blackest Noobs

        well…they ARE supportive of alleged pedophiles, so there’s that.

      • bbayliss

        All their wildest dreams might have come true.
        We’re lucky, so far.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        They’re scared shitless of The Base. Nothing matters but pleasing The Base, because all the Koch money in the world don’t mean squat if The Base thinks you betrayed them.

    • bbayliss

      Under W. Bush I said give ’em enough rope they’ll hang themselves” so we grudgingly gave them rope and we gave them more rope, and then they started stealing the rope, and then they finally said”It’s my fuckin’ rope, what are you gonna do about it?
      And we did nothing.

    • Indeniable Ron

      ‘Why does Trump, a man who is not honest, expect us to believe a world leader, any world leader, to honestly answer such a question?’
      Because he still thinks he’s the World’s Greatest Deal Maker, and that the rest of us (well, 60-odd percent of us) haven’t caught on to his persistent lying.

  • I don’t have any idea about what to do about this situation as it develops, so I am just putting it out there.

    With the allegations against George Takei, especially in light of what’s going on with Kevin Spacey, I am fearful that there are going to be concerted efforts to channel completely justified rage against garbage men towards anti-LGBTQ ends. I remember Anita Bryant[spit] and how uncritically the trope of the gay man who is also a pedophile was accepted by the bigoted despite there being substantial evidence to the contrary.

    It should not prevent abusive, garbage people from being called out, but I am increasingly nervous about the development of a narrative that plays into these historical bigotries.

    • Duke

      The Other is always less virtuous

    • Stulexington

      I am holding my breath on this one.

    • John Thorstensen

      I’ve been waiting for this to go off the rails, somehow.

      There are almost certainly some operators and grifters out there looking to divert this justiied rage into something nefarious. I don’t think it’s wise to believe every allegation uncritically — the criminal justice system presumes innocence for a reason.

      That said, the many, many cases with multiple victims coming forth with similar stories, when they have nothing to gain and much to lose, is incredibly damning. I do believe these women, completely. I just fear the consequences of this kind of atmosphere.

      • bbayliss

        Where is the balance of common human decency…(thanks Kurt)
        Abuse of power dynamics is human history.
        It won’t be settled anytime soon if ever.
        Perhaps a little perspective is in order, and I cringed when I wrote that knowing that I’m opening to charges of enabling. which is not what I’m saying.
        I lived through the witch hunt that was the satanic panic with day care centers coming under attack. It was horrible, and mostly forgotten.

        • John Thorstensen

          I invoked that example on a FaceSpace post a while back — this has the potential of evolving into a moral panic of that kind.

          I am an Old, and when anyone says “You MUST believe this!”, I become skeptical. Multiple independent corroborations of bad behavior is mighty persuasive, but we should never fall into the trap of presuming that every last accuser, against anyone, anywhere, of anything, is automatically truthful.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      We were less informed back them. Lots of people (certainly me!) no longer think gay men are natural pedophiles. However, if Fox heads in that direction, who can say?

      • Indeniable Ron

        ‘If’?

    • Jeffery Campbell

      You are right to be concerned. The more gay men come forward the more the right can direct this away from them. This should be a man thing, not a gay or straight then. Garbage comes across the spectrum, unfortunately.

      • Let’s not forget women who seduce underaged boys. 😑

        • Shanzgood

          That’s still called rape.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          Reported no underage boy, ever!

  • Duke

    Good video. I won’t be conturing my cheekbones anytime soon but I will be on my guard!

    For all the good that will do.

  • Boojum

    Shapeshifters terrify me.

    • Stulexington

      That’s just what a shapeshifter would say!

    • msanthropesmr

      DO they make you softly and suddenly vanish away?

      • Indeniable Ron

        That’s not shapeshifters, that’s boojums. Did you miss the lecture?

      • Boojum

        Yes. Yes, they do.

  • VirginiaMorningBlend

    That video makes me realize why I’m a poor broke old lady.
    TO DOLLAR GENERAL!!

  • Me not sure

    They need to put a sign around Roy Moore’s neck at about chest high that says ” You must be this tall to ride”.

    • Parakeetist

      Eeew

      • Me not sure

        Sowwy.

  • msanthropesmr

    What’s everybody doing tonight?

    I made a lamp out of some ductwork today.

    • mancityRed6

      sporadically texting someone and a deep dish pizza for later

    • Shanzgood

      I went to Walmart at my daughter’s request. Baconz said I was giving money to Evil and might as well donate to Trump.

      • msanthropesmr

        That’s a little extreme.

        • Shanzgood

          He was just razzing me.

      • MizzMazz

        I honestly don’t know where to shop anymore. All of them are evil, and I’m poor, so don’t hound me about local markets and shit – I can’t afford those.

        • Shanzgood

          Right? I can’t afford my politics, either.

          • MizzMazz

            I used to sew, garden, have my own hens, compost, etc, but I am an apartment dweller now – do we get points for doing it in the past?

          • Shanzgood

            I say yes.

          • bbayliss

            You never get past having done it in the past.

          • TJ Barke

            That’s how they get you.

      • Mary Theresa
      • Persistent Demme

        They are trying to change and make up for the bad ol’ days, but I wonder if it’s too late.

    • Resistor Radio

      Pic?

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m doing a Lyft shift in a few hours. I need 6 rides/$30 to finish out my week even. I had company for a big part of the week. 6 rides on a Saturday night should be no problem.

    • Alternative Dog

      I never plan that far in advance.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      I had a choice between housework and drinking. Again, the Swiffers go wanting.

      • bbayliss

        Anybody else notice all the Swiffers poking out of trash bins?

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      I’m cooking some black bean quesadillas with a fancy salad on the side. As for the wine… whatever is on sale.

    • bbayliss

      I got as far as “I made a lamp out of…” and held my breath.

    • William

      Were going shopping at job lot ‘cuz I get that Memorial day discount and I know how to take a lady out and treat her right.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      I might have just fixed the B setting of a Prontor-SV shutter on a Kodak Retinette (no, I’m not going to look up the type number). I’m not sure. Voigtländer Bessa Prontor shutter is still sticky and it has a pinhole in the bellows anyway, shit.

    • Serai 1

      Trying to talk myself into buckling down and digging out stuff to sell on eBay. It’s getting close to selling season for me. Problem is, most of the stuff I have nobody wants anymore. *sigh*

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        Got any good vintage cameras?

        • Serai 1

          Nope. Sorry! Mostly it’s published materials – books, magazines, etc., – plus a few bits of film memorabilia, and whatnot.

        • BradtheBot

          Can you define good?

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        I’ve got the same problem selling antique glass.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I’m going to have chicken stuffed with asparagus (one of the items I ended up with after mom cleaned out the freezer), then maybe work on some stuff.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Refereeing roller derby.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Party pooper. Unless you’re just a figurehead for them to smash’n’bash, like all star wrestling or something.

    • cicatricella

      I am going to a shoe-gazy post-rock concert. I fully expect there to be white belts and heavy-rimmed glasses and a palpable sense of ennui.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Make burgers, watch Adventure Time, edit some music, hang out with the g/f on Second Life, read myself to sleep. Already reworked lamp fixtures in the sewing room and I am all stretched out.

  • bubbuhh
  • mancityRed6

    I’ve never really liked make up. it’s a lot of time spent doing something when we could be on the couch drinking coffee or whatever and talking about anything.
    also, it tastes funny.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    I have been watching Sailor J for the last 2.5 hours and my life is COMPLETE.

  • William

    Lenah S. Higbee, one of the first U.S. Navy nurses, becomes the first woman to be awarded the Navy Cross for her service in World War I #OTD in 1920. Navy Medicine https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/26041feff1576c4ff7cbec2db9fb737de04daaa1a71d147b832b120f92454eac.jpg

  • Sheepshagger

    https://i.redd.it/qvg4jrbtdbxz.jpg

    Seems the new boss lady has the American guys fucking number.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    Remeber when we all agreed as a society that Nazis were evil? That Slavery and Pedophila were bad? What the fuck happened? Why are we arguing shit I thought we settled? What the hell is wrong with these people? It shows to me a deep moral rot in the Republican party that power is the only thing that matters. God, i need a drink or to look at pictures of foxes.

  • Left Coast Tom

    From May 2016, a view from the Ohlone Trail, a backpacking route in the East Bay Regional Parks. Looking towards San Francisco Bay.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/48d630eb3732d0cf64855bf0408ceb22a62683b007ce25f861d9216c84169546.jpg

    • Parakeetist

      Purty

    • LaChatSayWha

      Nice. Is that from Mission Peak? It’s been a long time since I was up there. If it is Mission Peak, be careful of that tree right there in the ravine. 30 years ago it morphed into a multicolored sparkly wizard & opened a gate to the Fourth Dimension. Then we made it off the mountain and went up to SF to see Freddie Hubbard play an amazing show at Kimball’s West. Mushrooms, hiking and jazz… that was a good year.

      • Left Coast Tom

        It’s not from Mission Peak, it’s from further inland. I was hiking the Ohlone trail back to Sunol from “Maggie’s Half Acre”, a camping area just beneath Rose Peak.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Men will die tonight.

    • bbayliss

      men women and children die every night.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        k but that’s not in the video.

        • bbayliss

          There’s a video?

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Contouring!

          • bbayliss

            Agriculture?

    • shivaskeeper

      Before or after you get the wallets?

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I have to get a man to pay for my stuff somehow.

        • shivaskeeper

          After then.

  • bubbuhh

    Sailor J be a fittin successor to Jennifer Saunders
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHPoCqRulzk

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Makeup. BAH.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • bbayliss

      I don’t believe she has the authority either, but then these days…

    • wait! what?

      These comma misers really get me. I have to read their run on sentences and I haven’t trained for that…

  • CATMAN
    • Khavrinen

      “Oh, look, Roy Moore’s trying for a two-fer.”

    • wait! what?

      A penis is NOT like religion.

      You don’t have to believe in a penis to see it if someone forces it on you.

      • bupkus231

        That just shows that analogies are not commutative! Religion may be like a penis, but that doesn’t mean a penis is like religion

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    speaking of which, today in answering you own question – roy moore!

    “Why now? The Democrats and the Republican establishment know the importance of this election. In fact, most people in America know the importance of this election. They see it as a prelude of the elections coming in 2018. It may very well determine the future of our country,” he began.

    • Shanzgood

      Also too “why did she wait so long” question is answered by the assboil who said she should be prosecuted…for waiting so long.

      • Khavrinen

        When I was a kid, my first bike got stolen, and (thinking it wasn’t worth the effort ) we never bothered to file a police report.

        I hope no Republicans find out about that — I’m too pretty to go to jail.

        [ Also, too, was completely unaware that failure to report a crime could be considered a crime. ]

  • William

    I dated a girl who told me preparation H could be used as a skin tightening agent. For some reason that’s all I really remember about her.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I’ve heard that tale from friends who are darker than a paper bag. Don’t know if it’s true, but Jeez what women do to fit some idea of attractive.

    • shivaskeeper

      Years ago, in the Army, I would see people who were on the verge of failing the tape test for body fat swear by Prep H and saran wrap around their abdomen the night before to cut and inch or two off their measurements. To the best of my knowledge it never worked.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      It contains witch hazel, which is good for tightening up the under-eye region.

  • TJ Barke

    OT if there’s one I’ve learned from the MCU it’s that if you have an alliterative name, you will get super powers.

    • bbayliss

      Where the fuck are mine?
      Oh yeah, I’m still alive.
      nevermind.

    • bupkus231

      What does assonance get you?

  • Serai 1

    Here’s an antidote to the grossness: The Good Men Project

  • Bitter Scribe

    Self-care for me: After weeks of neglect, I did a complete cleaning of my condo. Scrub kitchen, bathroom and laundry room, mop, dust, vacuum, the works. I even poked a broom into every upper corner to get rid of the dust strands. Now I’m going to kick back and enjoy what’s left of the college football games on TV.

  • Michael R

    If anyone say ” YES PLEASE ” I will give you an update on canned clams .

  • UnsaltedSinner

    I read a tweet that said the Italian actress Marta Gastini once auditioned for a part in some Hollywood movie and was told she was too ugly. In case you’re not familiar with Marta Gastini, this is what she looks like.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f83d454aaf5d9d5b095216ee42971472d2d964add6c92300b91c74a9ac9aa89.jpg

    Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be actors.

    • William

      Clearly she has one hideous nostril slightly larger than the other. She might as well give up acting and try for a job removing asbestos from abandoned truck stops.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Nostrils!!! That was in the video.

        • William

          Disgusting isn’t it?

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            A little contouring, she could fix that right up.

            But nah, she’s beautiful.

    • I wish to God I were that ugly.

    • wait! what?

      Wow.

      She’s beautiful.

    • shivaskeeper

      Hideous.

    • natoslug

      Poor woman. I feel for all of the actors and actresses born without color. Unless they borrow Obama’s time machine and return to the golden age of black & white film, they are cursed to appear only in art-house (art house? (arthouse? (a moose?))) films and student cinema.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    home and full of food!

    After I left y’all (and the natural weirdos at the starbucks) I scored at Ross. $170 – but 4 pairs of pants, like 4 or 5 ties, two sweaters, 2 dress shirts.

    For those of you dying to know – I already know I missed 1 multiple choice answer on my test. 3 points – already the worst score in this semester in this class.

    Hopefully no other missed questions AND the curve.

    ; D

    (thank you again for all the support during studying! Only 2 more tests!)

    • You live in TX, what dafauq do you need sweaters for? ;)

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol
        the desert! During the winter it can get down in the teens at night/early morning, then get to fucking 50 or 70 during the day.

        They were each $20, so no big loss. (The $200 leather jacket that no longer fits – that one hurts).

      • natoslug

        Cat nests?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          (looks at 3 cats)

          The panel agrees.

    • TJ Barke

      At first I read that as “home and full of blood” and thought; wut?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        (looks at self)

        Well, I mean, I still got all my own blood.

        ; p

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      oooh, and 2 new belts.

    • shivaskeeper

      Only a 97? You are slacking off.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol – only a 97 SO FAR. I got the other “not sure” questions right…pretty sure I nailed the essay and short answer.

        But sadly, first test was perfect, 1 point off second, and at least 3 points of this one.

        Yes, i know I’m insane. And given how unprepared i was, a 97 is a goddamn god send.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I’m starting to think Dinesh isn’t very smart…

    https://twitter.com/DineshDSouza/status/929394522844487681

    • Parakeetist

      Le dumbass

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      as I noted before, it’s QUITE FUCKING POSSIBLE that this ass hat being on the verge of becoming a U.S. Senator may have motivated these women to speak out.

      Just a though.

    • mancityRed6

      come on Dinesh, everyone else was already on the blame train. what took you so fucking long?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Starting to think?

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        There have been some subtle indications that he might not be. Everything he has ever said or written, for a start.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Or, more believably, the key to the Roy Moore sex charges is the timing of them. Women who have nothing to gain by coming forward felt compelled to do so now, before this prick becomes a sitting US senator.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        The increased level of scrutiny from the press when you become a figure on the national stage as well. This is one of the things that is catching Donnie out also. He had no idea what he was going to be in for in terms of press coverage.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Putin is probably giving him advice on how to stop negative press coverage too.

      • shivaskeeper

        No. That can’t be. This sort if thing never ever happens in traditional, conservative Alabama. It’s all a Soros, Amazon, fake news lie.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Sure — not like interest in Moore increases when he’s potentially capable of hurting the entire country instead of just Alabama.

    • wait! what?

      Ut oh. Looks like DD’s afraid of #PedoGhazi.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Well, if anyone knows about fabricating a story it’s good ol’ D’Felon.

    • shivaskeeper

      Keep on fucking that chicken you felon. Don’t forget where and when you send all your Tweets and other missives so you can delete them later when he tearfully admits it’s all true. You’ll need to be able to pretend you never supported him if you want to keep your credibility.

    • LaChatSayWha

      Or mebbe it has a little to do with the fact that victims of sexual predators are FINALLY being listened to, & this last month has seen 8+ powerful, longtime predators taken down. Finally.

      The Moore supporters have done a pretty good job of getting the media to ignore these facts when they’re publishing all the obfuscation by Moore’s enablers & probable fellow predators. Liddle Donnie 2Scoops got away with it last year (and his time will come), but in the past year, the public’s attitude towards what they will tolerate from these misogynist assholes has dramatically changed.

      Moore might win the race (it’s Alabama in a time of dramatic cultural change after all), but the times are changing for these assholes. We victims and all those who support us are not going to be backing down in the future & no matter how much bullshit propaganda they orchestrate to discredit survivors, we are going to win this fight.

    • natoslug

      You’ve got one up on Dinesh, at least. He hasn’t started to think.

    • BadKitty904

      …says the well-known adulterer and convicted campaign-corruption criminal.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Maybe you can lend him your felony bracelet later.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Yes, newspapers just “happen” to look into his background at the exact moment he’s running for the Senate. A likely story!

    • Covfefe

      Too soon. Too late. We need Goldilocks to tell us when it’s “just right.”

  • thepoliticalcat

    Jesus Christ, Robyn, that woman’s as mad as a fucking hatter!

    • natoslug

      I think she’s amazing!

    • TJ Barke

      I think you mean fucking hilarious.

      • natoslug

        I want a woman to fight for me like a mighty giraffe gladiator.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    was groving to this one whilst driving around town today – good Saturday morning music (give it a bit, starts off very “meh”, but gets better):

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Beyil4RWcr0

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Dude, I love the Old 97s. Last time they were in town, we were playing a gig outside the venue they were playing later. They came out and said hi, snapped a few pics, and we all went to their show later. Big Brown Eyes is one of my favorite tunes of theirs.

      • Old town Urbandale

        I usually more Other Shoe-y myself.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Oh yeah. We used to do a cover of that one years ago. In fact, when they stopped by where we were playing, we thought about trying it, but none of us could really remember it. Be one thing to give ’em a compliment, another to make total fools of ourselves.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        no shit?

        Great band – an ex from a blissful (in retrospect) period of college got me into them.

        I like melt show, lucky horseshoe, but the most – TIMEBOMB! (That was the first song the ex played for me) .

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          “I’ve got it badly for a stick-legged girl….”

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i was gonna return the volley – but they got too many good lines.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Rhett Miller is a really good songwriter. If you get the chance to see ’em live, take it. Really high-energy show, nice guys.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i’m shocked they still are touring. I first heard them nigh on 2 score ago!

          • bupkus231

            Two score? Those 97s must be really old!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol…They had a band prior to the 97’s that goes back to early 90’s or maybe even late 80’s.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Moore’s proclivity for chasing teenage girls when he was in his thirties was “common knowledge,” says a former colleague:

    https://twitter.com/MarquardtA/status/929429310510911490

    • OutOfOrbit

      why donut more speak up?

      • Shanzgood

        You have to ask?

        • OutOfOrbit

          are all but one Garbage Men? are we, all of us (with dicks), garbage men?

          • bupkus231

            It ain’t just wimmins who have to worry about their careers, etc. if they speak out against a powerful higher-up.

          • Shanzgood

            I never said or even thought that.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Fuck me, I was gonna order a pizza tonight, but…

      And this sick fuck hates LGBT people?

    • TJ Barke

      Ew…….

    • Persistent Demme

      “Dated?!”
      (Every time I see “dated,” I wanna throw up!)

      • Parakeetist

        I’ll do it for you. Hraaaaaaalph

      • wait! what?

        Well, if you don’t date them how are you going to know how old they are?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Substitute “preyed on”. You’ll feel better.

      • HooverVilles

        Cue the “patented” Stephen Colbert gag response.

    • Sheepshagger

      Jeez what a shame all those prosecutorial lawyer types down there at the DAs office just didn’t have the means to do a damn thing about the notorious pedophile in their midst. Useless fucks.

      • Bemused

        Age of consent in Alabama is apparently 16, so creepy and gross, but not actually illegal until the 14 yr old.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • shivaskeeper

      Least transparent administration in the history if history.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        And that is saying a lot given the way President Cheney ran his administration.

        • bupkus231

          You have hit upon the reason the righties called the Obama admin “the least transparent” – because it was a criticism first levelled at a GOP admin. The “We’re rubber, you’re glue” defense…

    • Marion in Savannah

      My gawd… We have a Republican Congress. Why the HELL haven’t they impeached her yet? What are they waiting for?

    • SDGeoff3

      REALLY? Administration?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Well, it’s a meme-y mock-up. But don’t put it past Fox.

        • SDGeoff3

          And they do have some rather schitzo moments with that, as we have seen.

    • Khavrinen

      Impeach!!!!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Conservatives Aren’t Clever – Part 2,347,241.

    In a bizarre segment on Friday, Trenton Garmon, attorney and friend of Roy Moore tried to dub CNN’s Don Lemon as “Don Easy Peasy Lemon Squeeze-e” —and was totally shut down.

    “Yeah man it’s great to be on here, I really appreciate it,” Garmon began, during a discussion of the allegations levied this week against Moore. “I hope that I’m able to give you the name “Don Easy Peasy Lemon Squeeze-e,” right? You’re gonna take it easy on me?”

    Okay, I hear ya,” Garmon said. “Hey, Don Lemon Squeeze-e, keep it easy.”

    “It’s just Lemon, hold on,” the host shot back. “My mom didn’t name me Don Lemon ‘keep it easy squeeze-e.’ It’s just Don Lemon.”

    “I got you,” Garmon insisted.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      I bet that guy is hilarious in the courtroom. To his opponents, anyway.

    • Juan de Fuca

      For all of the Don Lemon haters out there, that guy was on fire last night. He wasn’t taking any prisoners. I saw him shut down two different RWNJ’s. Cut one of them off and went to commercial. Was glorious.

  • thewalkindude

    “ Every now and again you’ll notice someone who likes to shake hands while their hand is on top and their palm is facing the ground. It is useful to know about this handshake as it may come in handy in certain situations like letting your boss feel powerful by ‘submitting’ to his dominance…” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e73a7914fdf5b6a25952edcb253b20d7592374f55a3dfe6bb55114a84616c1c0.jpg

    • SDGeoff3

      Let me guess. Sun Tzu?

      • Sheepshagger

        Steve. Steve from marketing.

        • SDGeoff3

          No. Really?! I would never have thought…

    • Shanzgood

      That’s as bad as “fishy” handshakes from men who don’t think you’re worth the effort to do it properly. It just makes them seem like they’re scared to touch you.

      • Marion in Savannah

        I’ve always given the “dead mackerel” handshakers the “Grip Of Death” as hard as I could. Just because… [snerk] The ones I really hate are the cold, sweaty, dead mackerels. Them I just cringe at.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        That can also be a cultural thing. Some people are not taught the firm grasp that many of us are accustomed to.

        • Shanzgood

          I’ve seen them shake hands with each other and try to rip it off at the wrist.

        • One of the things most politicians learn is that the “really firm grip” is a way to very sore hands at the end of the day.

      • wait! what?

        You sort of have to admire how Donnie is finger felating Vlad’s watch band…

    • wait! what?

      They are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way they’d like to hear it…

    • HooverVilles

      Interesting observation!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Trump has that, “I want you to cornhole me” look in his eye every time he sees Putin.

      • CripesAmighty

        And body language that fairly screams fawning, sniveling obsequiousness.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      I used to work with a guy who did all those macho dominance things. He did this forced handshake with his hand on top. But what I hated the most was that he’d put his hand on my shoulder and pull me toward him whenever he would talk to me. One day, I was promoted to a position that made me his equal. When he offered congratulations he reached out to shake my hand and tried to twist it down. I stopped him from twisting and squeezed his hand so hard his pinkie finger popped. (I had 20 lbs and 4″ height over him). He never tried to touch me again.

      Fun fact. 3 years later I was promoted again and became Mr. Touchy’s boss. That was delicious.

  • BadKitty904

    Though many members of my family have been/are veterans, today I particularly think on my Granddad, the most honorable gentleman I have ever known. He abandoned college plans and a baseball scholarship to defend his country in 1941 and joined the U.S. Army
    Air Corp. He trained to be a night fighter and flew attack missions in North Africa and in the Allied invasion of Italy. While flying patrol over American lines outside Rome, he was surprised and shot down by German fighters. Captured, he was interrogated by the SS and shipped to Stalag Luft I, near Barth and Peenemunde, the German missile base, where he was a prisoner-of-war for over a year.

    Granddad fought Nazis with a Bristol Type 156 Beaufighter then. To honor his service, his sacrifice, and his memory, I intend to fight Nazis now with any legal means available.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ff7bfef9f29b09456051398963dcc9669c08d6ccb47609247bb7870cb47fe546.jpg

    • Shanzgood

      All that and cute as well!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Isn’t he just a lovely bit of crumpet?

        • Suse

          Yes! I can see where Bad Kitty gets his handsomeness.

          • BadKitty904

            A Southern family tradition – “strong women and handsome men”.

        • Shanzgood

          Here’s my cute grandpa! I don’t think he actually fought Nazis. He was a cook and kept soldiers’ bellies full.

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c273d802bb0c0a3df6f35073f7ebb57b78e6bf3928fc37831ba8f7e8615335d4.jpg

          • He’s frickin awesome!

          • Shanzgood

            He died before I was old enough to get to know or remember him, unfortunately.

          • Aw…that’s a shame. Hopefully there’s lots of old stories and photos to compensate.

          • Shanzgood

            My dad tells a lot of them, yeah. Not a lot of photos, though. Grandma probably burned them.

          • Oh…really?

          • You should ice that burn

            From the flora I’m gonna guess he was more of a “Pacific Theater” guy.

          • Shanzgood

            Yeah, I also have a pic of him that looks like it was taken in a photo booth (did they have those then?!) with a beautiful Polynesian woman.

          • You should ice that burn

            Polaroid is the only pre-digital instant printing I know of, and I know they did government spy stuff before it was available to regular folks, but I don’t know when instant print photos became a thing.

        • BadKitty904

          Hey, now! No mackin’ on my Grandddad!

      • BadKitty904

        At the time, he was the All-American Boy!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      He may have flown this aircraft. Do you know what squadron he was in?

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dfbac0756bdc815aa9ac74cf014a61dbbb12235e0c86970a54709f3d2fef4d4e.jpg

      • BadKitty904

        I know it was a twin-prop heavy fighter, originally of English make. Granddad said its cannons would tear the hell out of trains, buildings, bridges, etc.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          He was right. The USAAF operated four squadrons equipped with Beaus in the MTO – the 414th, 415th, 416th and 417th.

          • BadKitty904

            They used to laugh about the Beaufighters – the crews would walk out onto the strip, shake the wings so the loose bolts fell out, then climb aboard and take off…

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            Not surprising. All the USAAF Beaus were ex-RAF machines, and were considered “war-weary.” Apparently at least one squadron had a B-25 bomber they flew to airfields all over the Med, scrounging for spare parts.

          • BadKitty904

            Granddad said they were tough machines, tho, and could take a helluva pasting.

            I only recall him mentioning two problems:

            1.) The mud-caked wheels would freeze and stick, when retracted into their wells during flight (in cold weather, at least), so pilots returning to base would have to try and “shake them loose” by repeatedly diving, then suddenly pulling up;
            2.) To get in and out of the cockpit, you had to grab an overhead bar (sometimes a rope) while raising your legs and swing yourself into your seat. You’d reverse the process to exit the cockpit. This proved to be a bit more of a challenge when the plane was on fire…

      • BadKitty904

        And, off hand, I don’t remember his squadron. Daddy would know, tho, as he inherited and wears Granddad’s Air Division (I think) ring….

      • natoslug

        Pro-tip: If you attach the wings, it will probably fly better.

        • TJ Barke

          Junk science.

          • BadKitty904

            If Nazi-killers were meant to fly, etc.

        • BadKitty904

          Good point.

          When he was shot down, the wings did OK, however. The difficulty was the engines – one blew oil all over the windshield, so they were flying blind, then caught on fire. The other began racing out of control, so Granddad and his co-pilot were wrestling to keep the burning plane level while the rest of the crew bailed out. And hoping the fire didn’t reach the fuel or ammo…

          • Shanzgood

            Wow! Sounds like a scene out of a movie!

          • BadKitty904

            It does now, perhaps. Granddad has said he used other terms to describe the situation at the time…

    • leemoder
      • BadKitty904

        I could see it.

      • Persistent Demme

        Yes.
        Remember when nazis were universally reviled?

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          They were never universally reviled, even during WWII

    • Persistent Demme

      Wow!
      What a great guy!
      I hope he was treated well.

      (The father of one of Mr. Demme’s German friends was in an American POW camp.
      He said his treatment was fair.
      He also told us that they made sure that all the doctors at the camp were Jewish, so the prisoners could learn something.)

      • BadKitty904

        He said he was treated “OK”. The German people themselves were starving by this time, so food was always an issue. The oldsters and boys guarding the camp (all the men were at the front or dead) knew that Germany’s defeat was immanent, so generally treated the prisoners reasonably, fearing retribution after the war was over. Almost all of said guards were executed by the Russians when they liberated the camp.

        • Persistent Demme

          I remember hearing that being liberated by the Russians was what everyone was afraid of.
          (I used to live in England where the TV series and documentaries about WW2 were/are? unending.)

          • BadKitty904

            As many German troops (civilians, too) as possible fled to the west to surrender to the advancing British and Americans. The Russians did not take prisoners.

          • Shanzgood

            I used to live there, too, and can confirm. I even played a board game with my (British) XH and his family that was based on some WWII movie that was based on a real escape from (I think) a POW camp. They LOVED it.

            Of course, my XMIL and XFIL both lived through the war as children so it was still a huge influence on their lives. My MIL was relocated from the Liverpool area to the “countryside” to avoid the bombings. I don’t think my FIL’s family had the resources for that so he stayed in the Wirral peninsula area. He was raised by a single mom after the husband did a runner on her and their 6-7 kids. The eldest daughter became “second mom” and by the time I met her was known in the family for being so thrifty she re-used her teabags after drying them out on the clothesline.

            I also remember being floored (as a naive newlywed 22yo “not in Kansas anymore” girl) when MIL described having to share an egg with her brother. AN egg. Between them. Just the one. Never mind the unheard of luxury that was a banana. And my FIL beginning his carpentry apprenticeship at the age of 14 and having to take bacon drippings sandwiches for his lunches. Bread with bacon grease smeared on it. That was all he got.

            I waste all those things and worse every week. It’s shameful.

          • Persistent Demme

            Colditz!! (I think the board game was based on the TV series, that was based on a real place.)

            Americans had nothing like the deprivation that the British endured.
            When we lived there, I remember hosting Mr. Demme’s grandmother (who also used to save and re-use her tea bags) and her sister.
            We took them to the Imperial War Museum in London, and they could not believe how different things were for their British peers.
            They recalled putting together “Bags for Britain” (presumably filled with food and clothing), during the war, but never realized the extent of the hardships.

          • Shanzgood

            Wow! I thought the re-used teabags were just a family myth!

          • Persistent Demme

            Ugh!
            She used to order hot water in a restaurant, and take a used teabag, (that was wrapped in foil), out of her purse, and dip it in the hot water.
            *eyeroll*

      • Werewolf

        I recently saw a hospice patient (who has since died) who was the last survivor of Easy Company, the all-Chicano outfit of the Texas National Guard during WWII. After getting wounded during the crossing of the Rapido River in Italy (a monumental clusterfuck, apparently), he was captured and sent to a POW camp either in eastern Germany or in Poland. He told me about seeing a Jewish fellow prisoner pistol-whipped by a guard. 73 years later, he still felt guilty that he couldn’t do anything to prevent it. He was a good man-I’m glad I got to meet him.

        • Persistent Demme

          So glad he could talk about it, though.
          My uncle served in the Navy during WW2, Korea, and Vietnam.
          He never uttered a word.
          I’ll bet both of them witnessed terrible brutality.

    • You should ice that burn

      That was back when fighting Fascists was more popular.

      • BadKitty904

        Back when they weren’t placed in federal offices via treason.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Paula Cobia, attorney for Roy Moore accuser Gloria Deason, has released a new statement challenging Moore's denials. It is STRONG. #alpolitics #ALSEN pic.twitter.com/VeIRCEik7w— Josh Moon (@Josh_Moon) November 10, 2017

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      I’ll read this in a sec – but I see Roy Moore is launching a “Trump-style” attack on the accusers:

      “There are investigations going on. In the next few days there will be revelations about the motivations and the content of this article. They will be brought to the public. “

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I wonder if they’re the same ones Drumpf used in Hawaii to look for the birth certificate.

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          Joe Arpaio is on it!

          • Indeniable Ron

            ‘How many of ’em are Messicans? It’s important.’

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Shit, PBR, read all the replies first, how many times to I have to tell you?!

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Happens to me too.

      • Serai 1

        It’ll be very interesting to see who jumps on the blame-the-whore bandwagon in the current climate.

        • Marion in Savannah

          AOT,K.

      • wait! what?

        The O’Reilly defense. Maybe Roy should just pay $32 million now…

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Does this mean the investigators are finally returning from Hawaii?

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        That’s right, I forgot… Hillary and Huma were actually the ones who put the moves on her.

    • Marion in Savannah

      It is very strong. A string of simple declarative statements.

    • bupkus231

      I thought one of the attacks on Moore’s accusers was that they were going to vote for Doug Jones – I suppose it could be one of the other accusers, but I see that Ms. Deason does not live in Alabama anymore, so she couldn’t vote for Jones anyway….

      Of course, that never stopped Republicans before….

      • Shanzgood

        Yeah. I know one who bragged about voting twice in the 2012 election.

  • Alternative Dog
  • Suse

    I laughed heartily at that video! Thank you, Robyn.

  • Juan de Fuca

    I just listened to Roy Moore defend himself and this is how I heard it:
    “How dare these women wait until the biggest moment of my life to bring this stuff up.”

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • bupkus231

      Imagine it? Rump’s constant repetition of a few stock phrases shows that he doesn’t have much imagination ( and these pictures make it seem as if he doesn’t need to “imagine” such )

    • UnsaltedSinner

      He would be jealous, though.

  • wait! what?

    How is taking away a veteran’s banking privileges away for a day an act of honoring them?

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      It keeps them from blowing their money on frivolous things like food and rent.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      I have a whole box of those things that I will never wear again. Not even when they put me in my own box.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        are they for sale?

        ; )

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          They’re probably way out of style by now.

          • Indeniable Ron

            You mean ‘retro.’

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            right? That tie on the right in my photo came with the shirt. It’s not bad, necessarily, but very 70’s and something I *MAY* end up not ever wearing.

  • natoslug

    Too soon, @BBC, too soon! https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/boozy-self-saucing-chocolate-pud

    If there ever was a week not to talk about your boozy self-saucing pud, this is that week.

    And there better have been consent before you started on your poke cake. https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/videos/hacks/next-level-poke-cake

    • Simpler recipe … and you’d better have at least one or two people to share it with is this one. No boozy though, but with vanilla ice cream who notices?

      • natoslug

        Yes, but its description doesn’t make it sound like something that Louis CK would be forced to apologize for. I want a dessert that makes me giggle like I’ve just discovered how to spell 80085 on my graphing calculator.

    • UnsaltedSinner
      • natoslug

        Is that a Monty Python skit I’ve missed?

        • John Thorstensen

          No, they were contemporaries or a bit before. I think one of the Pythons may have been in the band.

    • Resistor Radio

      Pud is a good word

      • natoslug

        I’m guessing the Brits are rhyming pud with good, not cud.

        • Resistor Radio

          Oh, yeah, probably, but I think the American version is fun, and not used often enough, IMO

        • Indeniable Ron

          po͝od
          More like ‘took’ than ‘good.’ (There’s a difference, really!)

          • natoslug

            You can’t fool me! Took’s a hobbit!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I was in traffic behind a hatemobile on my way home from the shop today. Among the sticker highlights: “If you don’t like President Trump, LEAVE”. And guess what? Dude drove like an a-hole lane swerver and super-aggressive tailgater. Who would’ve guessed.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Aren’t you in one of the Clinton-voting parts of Arizona? Maybe he needs to move himself to Kingman so Kelli “Chemtrails” Ward can “represent” him?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Just the blue-hair burbs a little north of Tucson and he’ll be in Chemtrail Country.

        • Left Coast Tom

          Your life might be better if you sent him off to Kingman, though.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            True that. And he’d be more in his element…there are some SERious ‘necks up that way.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      not surpised.

      Here’s a nice time: On the way home today I saw the ubiquitous F-150 with a sticker on the back window that read:

      BUCKLE UP
      I’M GONNA TRY SOMETHING.

      Possible wonketteer?

      • Resistor Radio

        I like the sound of that!

    • Resistor Radio

      I drove behind an SUV that had, instead of the family stick figures on the back, it was a family of vertical assault rifles the same same size, and arranged in the same style of those family stickers.
      Literally, an ammosexual.

      • bupkus231

        I might see that as a joke, to begin with – but after a moment, I would think “Why would anyone want to advertise themselves as a jerk to the world?”

        Never have had any bumper stickers or yard signs. I prefer for people to get to know me before they decide I’m a jerk….

  • leemoder

    Listening to a few episodes of the Dumb People Town podcast serves as my escape pod to Tattooine.

  • Viktor

    An older carpenter, muscular and tan from working out in the hot sun of the Middle East, meets a young pregnant girl. The dead beat who knocked her up, God, has left her and now she found a hawt carpenter to take care of her kid and her. The Bible is sexy

    • Is there any mention of wood?

      • Resistor Radio

        Firmly applied. I mean, implied.

  • therblig

    economics, the rwnj version. these people are so fucked up in the head. is it just that they think blacks, browns, and women will get a minimum wage and somehow that’s not fair? what the fuck is wrong with them?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/47dce0b68bdf54668391b52bba202710ad2319d5a4e2f0beed5c615495d7efa5.jpg

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      sigh – there are several logical flaws in this, but we all know that.

    • TJ Barke

      That justifies 99% of wage growth going to 1% of the population, alright!

    • Apparently has no idea of the dairy business, and is still back in the 1930’s when there were milkmen.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Their understanding of economics is on the same level as their understanding of evolution and climate change.

    • Christopher Story

      Milk doesn’t cost a dollar.

      • TJ Barke

        It doesn’t matter, it’s just a pseudo intellectual justification to pay people shit wages.

        • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

          If you pay them a $1.25, then why not $100zillioin!!!!!!

        • Christopher Story

          I know, I was being equally stupid

      • bupkus231

        Even without government dairy price supports, no.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Sure, that makes sense if this smrt milk business man pays 1 employee to “create” 1 “milk” and it takes this very slow “milk” producer 1 hour to do that. Also, there is no way, even with an increased minimum segment that a typical min wage earner makes enough to find themselves in the higher bracket either.

      I really don’t see a market for this particular style of “milk” anyway, so the free market wins again.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Who goes through a gallon of milk a day?

      • Shanzgood

        My house has.

      • Alan

        You never had kids?

      • Arolpin

        Growing up we went through at least 10 gallons a week (mom, dad, 3 kids). My brother, myself, and a friend once went through a gallon by ourselves at dinner.
        I personally have cut back to the point where I only go through about 2 gallons a week, and my kids another 3 gallons a week. (I have trained myself to like 1%, they get Organic whole milk, so I actually know who is drinking what.)

      • Royal Ugly Dude

        White supremacists?

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Imagine you create a hypothetical, then choose whichever figures you need in order to suit your story. You are now 36% more of a jerk!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      Either way, you couldn’t pay the rent.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      That is so full of fail…

    • Suttree

      The minimum wage doesn’t apply to agricultural work performed on a farm. So stfu you failure of a human being.

    • Indeniable Ron

      Wow, what were the farmer’s employees making before this?

      • therblig

        milk. they’re all cows. duh.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Ba dum tish!

    • Alan

      That’s the dumbest fucking thing I ever heard. Wait, it’s for dumb people. How about this: The milk man gives his employee a $10 raise to deliver 100 gallons of milk per hour so your gallon of milk now costs $1.10. But you make more than twice as much as you used to so you can fill your fucking hot tub with milk if you’re into that.

      • therblig

        give them time. they’ll come up with something dumber.

    • Arolpin

      To whomever created this example of why conservatives should not be allowed to run anything more complex than a gumball machine:

      Assuming that labor is your only cost (because you’re a stupid fucking conservative who doesn’t understand the first thing about economics, eat paste, and think that climate change is a Chinese hoax), you still fucked this up, you warthog-faced buffoon. In your assumption the gross wage goes up 15-times, or 1500%, and the cost goes up 15-times. Even in a fucking restaurant, labor costs are less than 50% of the total cost, not 100% of the cost. For something like milk, labor costs are a very small fraction of the cost, because all the milking is done by machines, and that truck that delivers all the milk costs more than the truck-driver’s annual salary.
      To compound your fucking stupidity, you are talking about a 1500% increase, not a 100% increase, which is what we are talking about in the worst fucking case here, you spawn of incestuous toad-fondlers. You are talking about taking someone from basically $15,000/year (roughly annual wages of someone working full-time at minimum wage) and raising them to $225,000/year, which is a good thing, but it completely fucking destroys your point. Yep, take someone from sub-poverty wages and move them to the top 5% of the income scale and they’ll pay more taxes. What else is new? Water is wet? Trump is stupid? Roy Moore molests teens?

    • Zyxomma

      They’re sick in the head. Sick enough to vote for this nightmare, sick enough to love him for his bullshit, sick enough to cheer for Putin.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Be nice if the CURRENT fucking heads would find a spine.

      • Resistor Radio

        At least no one is gonna be asking Donna Brazile how Hillary could have stopped Roy Moore in 1979. (I hope)

  • Panika MCD

    can the orange shitgibbon try not to act like such a Putin groupie?

    • Christopher Story

      No, he can’t. He’s Steven Segal with a brain injury.

      • Panika MCD

        Steven Segal doesn’t have brain injuries?

        • Red Richmond

          Steven Segal doesn’t have brain injuries?

          FTFY.

        • SeeTrain65

          Point, Panika. 15-Love.

    • TJ Barke

      No, cuz polonium diet coke.

      • Panika MCD

        how many of his swamp monsters can have Russian accents, really?

    • Left Coast Tom

      …and have Putin release the Pee Hooker tapes?

      • Panika MCD

        could it really be worse than the Access Hollywood tape?

        • Left Coast Tom

          Do you want to see a naked Donald Trump receiving golden showers?

          • Panika MCD

            I thought the Steele Dossier just said he watched while they sprinkled the bed where the Obamas had slept…?

          • Left Coast Tom

            I’m quite convinced that Putin has compromising material on L’il Donnie, and unconvinced that it’s not as bad as the Access Hollywood tape. That tape’s out, Donnie’s fans didn’t care, and he’s clearly scared of something Putin-related.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            tax returns…

          • Left Coast Tom

            Could be. On one level, those returns would simply confirm how much L’il Donnie is in bed with Russia. However, maybe they have the same problems that Mueller charged Manafort with, and Manafort is looking at a long stretch in prison.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I’m betting it’s even worse than Manafort

          • Indeniable Ron

            It seems that a number of other countries have kompromat on the Annoying Orange as well. I didn’t see any names, but the implication was that one of them was Israel, which suggests that they’re also not the only US ally with it. I’d also wonder if it’s original material or just copies of what Putin has.

          • Panika MCD

            he outed Israeli intelligence and they haven’t used it?

          • Indeniable Ron

            Maybe they were waiting for him to become Presidential, but they’ve finally lost patience.

          • Panika MCD

            I would think leaking their intel to Russia would be the end of the line for this PORTUS.

          • Indeniable Ron

            That’s what any normal country would do. Ain’t many normal countries left.

          • the_steamer

            Can you imagine being a depraved billionaire in Moscow with sex workers willing to do whatever you want and all you want is to privately insult the President in a ridiculous way?

          • Panika MCD

            that would require quite the paycheck.

          • bupkus231

            Hey, even Russian pee hookers have some sense of self-preservation….

        • Resistor Radio

          YES. I think we’ve only scratched the surface of his depravity.

          • Shanzgood

            I tend to agree. What he admitted to doing, he thought wasn’t actually wrong. I don’t want to imagine what all he has NOT admitted to because he KNEW it was wrong.

          • bupkus231

            I dunno – the idea that Rump might think anything he does/did may be “wrong” just doesn’t sit right with me. This is a guy who said he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue – and, yeah, while he was talking about his “supporters”, it’s pretty clear he wouldn’t think twice….

          • Shanzgood

            He knows. He won’t release his tax returns because of all the wrong in them.

          • Panika MCD

            he has the hots for his daughter and she has a Spotify playlist that is named a number which happens to be the code for the color tie he most often wears. surface gouged.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      He got used to the shock collar.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He’s worse than a 13 year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert

      (and now Roy Moore wants to “date” him)

    • SeeTrain65

      Can’t help it when he hears His Master’s voice.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eb779674b01dc607865e4b0022436813bcbb62accd93dd7a436a0417236778d2.jpg
      (Yes, yes … Nipper libelz!)

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Left Coast Tom

      Clearly we need a wall somewhere between Alabama and California. I mean, they keep sending us their murders, rapists, and drug dealers. I’m sure some of them are OK. Just not the ones they elect.

      (I just donated to Doug Jones’ campaign hoping he changes this…)

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        rocky mountains. Planes fly over those too.

      • Painter of Goats

        Put it between Texas and New Mexico and I’ll chip in for it.

    • Christopher Story

      So the children can’t get out?

    • TJ Barke

      So what, dumb cow? A wall will not accomplish anything.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        She’s only putting up the wall so she can write “Eat More Chikin” on it.

      • bupkus231

        Yeah – but most Alabamans don’t seem to know that. Ann may be a cow, but I think she’s right about this…

    • Shanzgood

      That’s gonna leave a beautiful scorch mark.

    • Covfefe

      The essence of the problem is that outsiders, who don’t understand the South, have come into Alabama to slam Alabamians and these Alabama girls helped the outsiders slam their Alabama neighbors over a silly thing about some guy dating teenagers, which, who cares, except for those Yankee. (You don’t wash your dirty laundry in public,)

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Damn the Messican pedophiles taking jobs away from our USofA homegrown pedophiles

    • Alan

      A wall around Alabama? Do I get to vote on that too?

  • CripesAmighty
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I am just glad I finally understand the Alabama expression, “I’m happier than Roy Moore at a high-school cheerleaders’ practice”.

  • It is 515pm here and i need to turn on a lamp. I hate winter

    • FDRliberal

      “It is 515pm here and i need to turn on a lamp. I hate winter”

      Winter sucks. And “Standard Time” sucks. Bring back DST. Get rid of DJT.

      • hudson

        i’m an early riser. i prefer this to groping in the dark in the morning.

        • FDRliberal

          I’m an early riser only because I have to be. I hate leaving work when it’s black out. Feels like the day got away.

          • bupkus231

            In winter, you get it at both ends ( especially if you have a commute ). I’d leave the house while it was still dark, and it would be dark again before I got home ( and this would be on one of those, increasingly mythical, 8 hour workdays…. )

          • hudson

            for me i feel like oliver twist going to work and turning on the lights.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Daylight jerking time?

      • Left Coast Tom

        Winter is pretty nice once several feet of snow have piled up in the mountains and I can go skiing. This intermediate waiting period sucks.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Yup. Once The Running of the Leaves is over, let it snow.

        • Arolpin

          It’s even nicer if you trade in your planks on a snowboard. (Ducking and running away. The second best part of ski season is teasing the twin-plankers.)

        • Winter is pretty nice once I can go to Cuba. This intermediate waiting period sucks.

    • hudson

      a house in which a woman lights a lamp to drive darkness away is a blessed house. that’s what my gramma used to say. but that’s not been a practice even since her time.

    • Resistor Radio

      I’m holding off…I think I can squeeze out about 12 more minutes.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      It’s been so gloomy here we’ve had the lights on all day.

    • Indeniable Ron

      I needed to turn on a lamp around 4, but if I had I’d’ve electrocuted myself.

    • LucindathePook

      Bed in Summer
      By Robert Louis Stevenson
      In winter I get up at night

      And dress by yellow candle-light.

      In summer, quite the other way,

      I have to go to bed by day.

      I have to go to bed and see

      The birds still hopping on the tree,

      Or hear the grown-up people’s feet

      Still going past me in the street.

      And does it not seem hard to you,

      When all the sky is clear and blue,

      And I should like so much to play,

      To have to go to bed by day?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    So a few folks on Twitter are talking about Moore’s dissenting opinion in a case he heard (Higdon v. State). So I decided to read the case history.
    Higdon was a 17-year-old who was employed as an intern at a day care center. While employed there, he sexually assaulted a 4-year-old boy. When another boy’s mother filed a police report saying Higdon had also assaulted her son, the first boy told his mother what had happened. Higdon was convicted of 1 count of sodomy of a child under 12, and 1 count of sodomy by forcible compulsion. Higdon appealed and the intermediate appeal court threw out the conviction for forcible compulsion, arguing that the State had failed to prove that Higdon had threatened or implied to threaten to harm the 4-year-old if he had not complied.
    The other 8 justices on the Alabama Supreme Court held that, consistent with their own precedent, the “unique relationship between children and the adults who exercise a position of domination and control over them may be taken into consideration in determining whether the element of forcible compulsion has been established”.
    Moore, instead, solely focused on Higdon’s age ignoring the fact that he was employed by the day care facility and had been given authority to supervise children and stated that since Higdon was only 17 they could not apply the standard as the standard only applies to adults. He then compounded this idiocy by imagining a scenario where a 10-year-old could be charged for assaulting an 8-year-old (which is, of course, impossible under the law).

  • SeeTrain65

    They said the same to Patton Oswalt when Bush left office, too. “You must be pissed off Bush isn’t President. Now you won’t have any material.”

    Robyn’s got plenty to go on. Incels are just one group of a menagerie of the dark, evil space where we men reside.

    To paraphrase a Simpsons’ song, “Have no fear, she’s got stories for years.”

  • h4rr4r

    You tell us to try it and then don’t say what it is called? Not fair! No really I am addicted to those add to water things, must have MOAR!

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      You mean the water with lime juice and vanilla stevia? How’s about we call it Brad.

      • h4rr4r

        I mean the vanilla stevia brand.

  • FDRliberal

    Creepy molester Roy Moore will no doubt claim the former Deputy DA is part of a Massive Secret Soros Funded Conspiracy.

    https://twitter.com/MarquardtA/status/929429310510911490

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      You know, this is the part in the movie after you see the first few rocks fall that you run before the avalanche gets you.

    • Resistor Radio

      If people in his office were whispering about it, their spouses knew too. It must be common knowledge, and not surprising the post had 30 sources.

    • KnaveOfSwords

      As others have pointed out, it’s interesting that while the defenses being offered up by national R spokescritters focus on arguing that he didn’t do it (with even the condemnations from national Rs mostly being given a qualifying “If this is true…”), the ones from Rs in Alabama (aka, the ones who are most familiar with Moore) skipped those defenses in favor of the “Well, he was very romantic with the teens he was molesting” or “Well if you ignore the parts where she describes what he did, she says they never did more than kiss,” or “Well the Virgin Mary was just a teen (possibly, the bible never actually says) when god knocked her up, which proves that she was a whore and that old men like Roy or Joseph banging teenagers is perfectly okay,” and other “Well what he was doing wasn’t real child molesting or rape” defenses.

      Almost like they knew his protestations of innocence wouldn’t hold up.

    • TundraGrifter

      Well, there goes the “argument” put forth by a stupid person from The Washington Times who said there wasn’t an established pattern with “Judge” Moore’s behaviors. She also said it was an important key to assessing the accuracy of the charges if a person’s actions were an “open secret.” Now that’s pretty much the dumbest comment I’ve heard about this sordid affair. Everybody has to already know about it? Does that mean Jimmy Hoffa is still alive, cause they sure ain’t found the body yet. Finally, if Faux News has a team of crack reporters and Harvey Weinstein’s deplorable behavior (just to pick an obvious example) was an “open secret,” why didn’t they cover the story, get a scoop, and put a prominent Democratic Party contributor OOB?

      • Alan

        Honestly your honor, I’ve never raped anyone before. Ergo,….

    • Blanche Beecham

      The plot thickens like it always does for these rat f**kers.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Weird, because when I saw Roy at the mall, I just assumed he was getting his ears pierced at Hot Topic.

      • Shanzgood

        You mean Claire’s. Hot Topic only does nostrils.

        • Phried Ω

          I learn such interesting consumer information here at Wonkette. Aside from tat shops I never knew their were chain specialty piercers.

          • Shanzgood

            I was kidding. I only know that Claire’s does ears because I had my daughter’s done there. Twice. And Hot Topic is where baby-goths/skaters go for “edgy” clothes like plaid skinny pants and “geek” t-shirts. I don’t think they do piercings at all. SO glad my kids aren’t interested any more. The music they play in the shop makes me homicidal.

          • Phried Ω

            All just part of the shopping experience. Muzak knew not what they wrought.

        • therblig

          i just saw on the internet, that women don’t have nostrils.

    • Alan

      We all knew he liked little girls. Ummm….

    • Steely_Fan

      Another application for Sutton’s law:
      Q: Willie, why do you rob banks?
      W: ‘Cos that’s where the money is.

    • La forza del resistino

      Judge Roy allegedly put on a Santa suit during the holidays and had them bouncing on his knees looking for his peppermint stick.

    • …and you did nothing?

  • And now, this message from our sponsor…

    https://twitter.com/BuffaloTrace/status/929468813099323392

  • Johnatx

    Important thing for me to remember: only two of the long green slices on the banh mi were cucumber; the other two were jalapeno

    • Resistor Radio

      Did you bring enough to share with the rest of the class?

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      And how are your eyes? Refreshed and wrinkle free, or red and burning like fuck?

  • Johnatx

    Nick, my kid, says hi. Visiting him over in Houston

    • Hi Dr Nick!

      • Johnatx

        Funny thing. In about 6 more months, he will be a Dr Nick

        • Resistor Radio

          Nice!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Can he write a medica column for the Wonkette?

        • He’ll eventually get sick of the joke

          • Indeniable Ron

            No-one else will, though.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Hi Nick!

    • Resistor Radio

      How’s Houston looking?

      • Johnatx

        Houston proper is fine. Most of the damage was outside the city. NW, SW, and to the east on the San Jacinto got it bad.

    • SeeTrain65

      Hello, Nick the Kid. ; )

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Wonder Woman indeed (and it makes me absurdly happy that a Sabra is schooling these fools)

    https://twitter.com/PageSix/status/929470841661919233

    • Resistor Radio

      What a better way to leverage power than to rub your dick on some unsuspecting actress.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Um. A sabra is an israeli woman. What am I missing?

        • Resistor Radio

          She’s using her star power to force him off the project, which is better than Weinstein wielding his power to rub his dick on people. Sorry if I wasn’t clear!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Ah. Yes. Point.

          • Resistor Radio

            you taught me the word Sabra, which is cool to know!

        • Phried Ω

          As is Ms. Gadot.

    • Can she? They usually sign the leads to multi picture deals off the bat

      • ariel_gee_398

        Legally, maybe, maybe not. But if she makes this request/demand public, the studio has to decide to openly side with an abuser to enforce her contract. Not the greatest optics in this environment.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Dunno. She doesn’t seem to me like someone you’d do well not to take seriously.

    • Shanzgood

      I forget. What did Ratner (allegedly) do?

    • SayItWithWookies

      I hope “and gets a big fucking pay raise too” is part of her demands.

  • tehbaddr

    “seltzer, key lime juice and 5 drops of vanilla flavored stevia stuff”, um there seems to be something missing there.

    • Bourbon.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I was thinking Vodka

        • h4rr4r

          How many rubles did Putin pay you for that comment?

        • calliecallie

          Gin. Hold the vanilla, Stevia.

  • Resistor Radio

    I hate it when you don’t time your dinner right and your side dish is ready before you start your main dish, and so you pick at it.

    • CripesAmighty

      Yeah I hate that. I keep opening the wrong can first.

    • Phried Ω

      You’ve described every meal I’ve ever made. Even dining alone.

      • Resistor Radio

        I AM dining alone, so at least I don’t have to make excuses to anybody

    • Alan

      Interestingly, I eat one thing at a time even if they’re all ready at the same time so….

    • tehbaddr

      That’s when you serve it as an appetizer and re-tool.

      • Resistor Radio

        Yeah – I just filled up on acorn squash

        • calliecallie

          It’s better for you.

    • Persistent Demme

      I’m famous in my family for never timing the rice correctly.

      (Hey!! I just figured out why Mr. Demme got me a rice cooker!)

  • tehbaddr

    “all of the men who have not been garbage. Which, sure, is like five of you at this point” don’t you think some of the Wonkers with nutz are decent humans? So figure that number in, then subtract one, because I’m a total asshole!

    • Resistor Radio

      Aw, I think there’s probably a decent number of gooduns in the non comments. (Minus the dude that was lurking to get quotes for his stupid hit piece)

      • OrG

        What dude? Did I miss something?

        • h4rr4r

          This! You can’t just say that and leave us all hanging.

          • Some dumbass who claims to be left wrote a piece about how awful the Wonkette is.
            FAMOUS!!!!

          • Edith Prickly

            Did he even claim to be left? He was just all “haw haw Wonkette is soooo 2004, why does it exist??”

          • I think the online claims to be left, but the whole “neoliberal” thing is sort of a tell for our lovable ratfuckers ^.^

        • Phried Ω

          The occasional troll who briefly escapes the banhammer is like chum in the non-comments.

      • Edith Prickly

        You mean that loser from Outline? Who cares about him!

        • Resistor Radio

          Exactly!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Oddly, you’ve never struck me as a total asshole.

      • Phried Ω

        High praise indeed.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i donut know where i fit in & i’d rather not be told

    • Khavrinen

      Just out of curiosity, how are we defining “men who have not been garbage”? Any easy to measure parameters?

      Because, while I haven’t made any passes at 14-year-olds since I was one ( or, to be brutally honest, then either, given how popular I wasn’t in school ), or jerked off into any potted plants, I’d really hate to think that we needed to set the bar quite that low.

      • h4rr4r

        What about peeing in fake plants that you in your drunken state thought were potted plants? Asking for a friend.

        • Khavrinen

          Personally, I’m in the clear on that one, as well, as I’m one of those incomprehensible weirdos who actually doesn’t drink.

        • bupkus231

          Unless you asked an unwilling female someone to watch while you did so, no.

          • h4rr4r

            The line to the bathroom was too long, I was trying not be to noticed.

          • when I was seven, I hadda go reaaalllll bad (one bathroom, 9 people in the house, not great maths). So I peed in a corner and blamed it on the dog.
            Feel guilty about that to this day, proof I knew better.

          • h4rr4r

            No sump in the basement?

          • No basement.

      • Rasilom

        I think its easy to tell. Look if you are a tasticle haver with a number of good female friends that invite you along for get togeathers and activities (stop it pervs I is talking platonic here). You are.probably doing it right.

        • Khavrinen

          Oh. Not terribly helpful, as I don’t have any female friends. Or male friends, either, but I don’t suppose that counts for anything. ( I did already comment about being one of those weirdos who doesn’t drink. Since, in the town where I grew up, “getting together to drink until you puke” was the primary form of socialization, I never managed to learn how to make friends other than over the internet. )

          [ OT: Is your screen name by any chance a reference to F. Paul Wilson’s “Repairman Jack” series? ]

          • Rasilom

            2 things. 1) You have always seemed luke a good guy on here. You have us, we call you friend and mean ot. 2) Very close guess on the screen name. It is from anither book by F. Paul Wilson. The Keep. Highky recomended if you like bith horror stories and Nazi punching.

          • Khavrinen

            Yeah, I was lumping “The Keep” in with the rest of the story arc, even though it’s not technically part of the “Repairman Jack” series, just what he was spun off of. I’ve been reading Wilson’s books since the mid-70s, even though I’m otherwise not a fan of horror — I started out reading his SciFi.

    • Shanzgood

      It was an exaggeration to express how frustrated and exhausted she (and a lot of us) are this week. It’s not about you.

      • h4rr4r

        Keep saying that. Really, please do. It needs to be repeated many many times.

        Most of us men are pretty slow.

        • Shanzgood

          No. You’re not slow. You’re just used to expecting to be spoonfed this stuff. There’s a Feminism 101 website that goes over a lot of this. I highly recommend it.

          • h4rr4r

            It’s not about you, is a valuable reminder in life. For a great many topics.

    • bupkus231

      Hey! Don’t you recognize hyperbole? There’s at least 15!

    • Mary Theresa

      The thing about the male Wonker, their authentic. Their not living in some dream world where their small pecker dictates who they are.

  • ariel_gee_398
    • tinker12
      • Royal Ugly Dude

        To be fair, I kind of agree with “Less Taxis.”

    • Resistor Radio

      I’ve got that eighties song “are you ready for the sex, clams, the real something seimthing something real sex clams?”

      • Beautiful Soup

        I went right to “Sex Clam Woman.”

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          I went to “Rueben Clamzo and His Strange Daughter in the Key of A”

          • Resistor Radio

            That old chestnut

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well, he IS a child mollusker.

      • Resistor Radio

        Oooooohhhhhh (that’s a protracted groan, impressive)

        • Phried Ω

          Surgery can correct that.

          • Resistor Radio

            Eh, I’m into it

        • Msgr_MΩment

          (I stole it from the tweet comments)

      • weejee

        He seriously need to come out from his shell.

        • AJ Milne

          When you needed to buy a vowel…

          … and instead you bi a valve.

          • Persistent Demme

            *golf clap*

      • StrangerCaptainHowdy

        I sea cucumber what you did there.

      • therblig

        does he conch them on the head first?

      • SeeTrain65

        This should oyster up a little more controversy.

    • ContextIsKey

      Roy was just being a little shellfish.

  • bluicebank

    Alabama creep factor went up another notch, if that’s possible.

    —-
    According to a series of tweets from CNN senior national correspondent Alexander Marquardt, a Florida attorney who served as a deputy district attorney alongside Roy Moore has come forward to allege inappropriate behavior from the Republican senate nominee.

    “It was common knowledge that Roy dated high school girls, everyone we knew thought it was weird,” former Deputy DA Theresa Jones reportedly told CNN. “We wondered why someone his age would hang out at high school football games and the mall.”
    —-

    Jazus. Creepin on teen girls at the mall and football games?

    • OrG

      I used to do that. WHEN I WAS SIXTEEN.

    • Carrie Scott

      And nobody on the DA staff said W TF perv

      • THIS.
        “We all knew”
        Everyone there knew! The entire time! They did nothing.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          An office full of prosecutors…who prosecute crimes…crimes like creepin’ on young girls.

          Sigh.

        • natoslug

          What could they have done? It’s not like any of them would know of any cops or lawyers or anything who could maybe take a look into things.

    • ContextIsKey

      The good fishermen know where to fish.

    • SeeTrain65

      “He was in a bad place then. He was a Democrat.” – Excuse already used today

  • I am in my happy place. I am watching The Muppets.

    • Parakeetist

      Yay

    • Shanzgood

      OMG I watched Muppets with baconz and had so much fun! That’s double happy times for me now!

      • I love me the Muppets (as an entity, but also, too the movie by that name) Miss Piggy is a quality role model

      • h4rr4r

        Rizzo the rat is the best Muppet!

        • OutOfOrbit

          i identify with Animal, but donut play drums

          • Did Dabney Coleman drag you down a hallway in the 80s whilst you held on to his ankles?

          • OutOfOrbit

            i was just nibbling at his heels

        • Phried Ω

          Partial to Gonzo, described as “sort of a turkey.”

          • Shanzgood

            Gonzo and the Republican Eagle! Also Fozzie Bear. And a pre-existing crush on Kermit.

            I disliked Miss Piggy.

          • The Eagle is Sam. I have Muppet Monopoly and he’s on the money

          • Shanzgood

            I thought Sam was an unrealistic caricature for years and years. Until I watched Muppets again with baconz.

          • I always assumed he was pretty accurate. Even at 6

          • Shanzgood

            I was raised by hippies in a libtart university town so Sam really was a caricature to me because I didn’t know anyone like that. Except my racist redneck grandpa, but I just thought HE was a caricature as well.

        • Swedish Chef for practical knowledge!

        • Jonny On Maui

          Animal…

    • Khavrinen

      I haven’t dug out my DVDs of the first three seasons [ WHEN are they finally going to release the other two, dammit?!? ], but I’ve been dipping into the occasional YouTube clip lately, because I’m about halfway through a Jim Henson biography, and I keep getting reminded of things I had forgotten about watching back when they were regularly on broadcast TV.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I’ve been dancing like a Muppet!

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Enjoy it while you can. Fozzie Bear scandal. I’m telling you, it’s coming.

  • Swampgas_Man

    Soon to be a PAID pornographer! And I STILL feel cleaner than the Republican party!

    • SDGeoff3

      Kewl!!

    • OrG

      Unlike with rethugs I assume everyone will be consenting ADULTS.

    • Doug Langley

      Wait, what?

    • SeeTrain65

      “Re: That meeting with Julia Ann? DM me when you get word.”

      (“DEAR ST: IT’S A DEFINITE ‘NO.’)

  • weighmaster

    Way off topic, but what is the most delicious, wonky thing to do with Brussel sprouts?

    • OutOfOrbit

      throw’em away?

      • RMKH

        Compost them

        • Indeniable Ron

          Why do you hate compost?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        dammit! ALWAYS. SCROLL. DOWN.

    • msanthropesmr

      Cut in half, and destem
      toss with garlic, olive oil and salt
      place on cookie sheet
      Place in oven at 400 for 15 minutes or until crispy
      Eat

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        What he said! Ignore the naysayers!

      • Mary Theresa

        Add balsmatic vinegar before baking.

        • msanthropesmr

          Ehhhhhhh A little too sweet for me.

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        And bacon. Bacon is good.

        • msanthropesmr

          You could also toss with bacon drippings. That would work too.

        • weighmaster

          I do have some bacon grease from breakfast…

          • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

            Yessss!

        • Indeniable Ron

          Indeed. In fact, cook the bacon and throw away the sprouts. Yum!

      • Resistor Radio

        This one. I like em almost burnt.

      • Banquo’s Ghost

        Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          Roy Moore likes the extra virgin oil.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Oven roasted with a balsamic reduction on the side.

    • OrG

      If you want to eat them it should involve cheese.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Trim them, halve them, toss them with olive oil, lemon juice, a drizzle of balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper, then place them in a glass baking dish and roast them at 400 degrees for about ten minutes.

      • therblig

        trader joe’s occasionally has them on the stalk, with a recipe like that, although with the addition of maple syrup. drizzle and lay’em on a baking sheet. yum!

      • Persistent Demme

        Ding, ding ding!

        (And ignore the haters! They don’t know what’s good!)

      • Shanzgood

        Yes! Scorch them a bit first and then bake until desired tenderness with whatever oil and flsvings you find agreeable.

    • h4rr4r

      Roasted, after drizzling with bacon fat.

      • therblig

        or olive oil

        • h4rr4r

          Sure, but it won’t be as good.

    • Phried Ω

      substitute artichokes.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Slice them thin, saute, toss with horseradish and sour cream.

      • Imma steal that for my food blog!

      • Resistor Radio

        I’ve never tried that method, but sounds interesting

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        I have a reason to hie to the market!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      chuck them out?

      • KnaveOfSwords

        And then order pizza?

    • Doug Langley

      Steam for 20 minutes, then slather with butter and bacon.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Ok, so after a 20 minute shvitz, I get slathered in butter and bacon, what’s the next step?

    • calliecallie

      I had a good friend back in the day who used to refer to them as Cabbage Fetuses. Her mother was very Catholic and anti-abortion.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        My brother used to call them “rodents” because he hated them so much.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I had a chef tell me they were good roasted.

      • God Emperor Emeritus

        I was unaware that they were good any other way.
        Salt+Oil.
        Toss.
        Roast.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Delay the Alabama Senate race until Republicans can get a candidate who can win? WHY DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR OH I KNOW IT’S THE SAME KIND OF DICK TACTIC TURTLE USED TO STEAL A SUPREME COURT SEAT.

    • TJ Barke

      If I was Bamz, I’d really have been hard pressed to not just go to fucking town on McTurtle with a voteball bat.

      • Phried Ω

        or is it baseball vote?

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          I prefer to use a hockey ballot.

          • Resistor Radio

            Field hockey ballots are pretty sturdy too

          • Phried Ω

            Or an Irish hurling ballot.

          • Scottish caber ballot

    • Khavrinen

      Has Merrick Garland considered running for the Alabama Senate?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I strongly suspect that Roy Moore secretly loves this book:

    “Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?”
    […]
    “‘When I see a pretty girl walking down the street I think two things. One part of me wants to take her out and talk to her and be real nice and sweet and treat her right.'” I stop finish my J&B in one swallow.
    “What does the other part of him think?” Hamlin asks tentatively.
    “What her head would look like on a stick”
    ― Bret Easton Ellis, American Psycho

    • Swampgas_Man

      It involves reading, which is a sin in Alabama. MAYBE he sat through the movie.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • If what he has now are the best people, who will be replacing them?

      • Sophia

        Judging by his last pick for a Federal Court Judge he’ll be hiring High School graduates for those positions.

    • bupkus231

      Altho’ I have no wish to correct the Rude One, I thought Rump’s remarks were about members of the Bush and Obama national security teams, not his own ( toadies ).

      • Nope, also his own, who are standing with their “Russia did it” story

        • bupkus231

          Okay – And I guess I’m not surprised. Attacking anyone who disagrees with him is normal behavior, why should it matter whether it’s “former” national security officials or his own picks….

          Never mind whether or not Rump’ll “keep ’em” – they oughta “offer their resignations” over such an insult – no matter how much they think they’re “protecting” the country from this asshole.

          • At this point it is not so much protecting the country as keeping it from becoming a subsidiary of Putin Co XD

          • bupkus231

            I suspect that some of Rump’s “national security team” would do very well in such an “merger and acquisition” ( as well as half of the GOP Congress ).

            But, that’s “personal enrichment”, not “national security”….

    • Michael R

      I’m beginning to wonder if he loves veterans at all ,
      or if it’s all a cheap political ploy .

      • bupkus231

        “beginning” to “wonder”????

        With me, it’s been a certainty since about 1985….

      • SeeTrain65

        I love the smell of sarcasm in the morning …

  • Indeniable Ron

    I WAS gonna make burgers for dinner, but the housemate is still feeling poorly (I’m in a mild state of panic because if she gets pneumonia she is gone, and this bug keeps hanging around) so now I have to figure out what to eat. Got fish, got clams, got garlic-butter-stuffed chicken breasts, but part of me just wants to eat grapes and fruitcake.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Is it that fruitcake we like?

    • BosGrl

      Life is short. Eat what you want.

      • Indeniable Ron

        Life is short, but diabetic neuropathy is forever.

        • Shanzgood

          True. My uncle isn’t even 10 years older than I am and his diabetes has really screwed him up.

          • Indeniable Ron

            It literally killed a friend of mine. Nothing below his waist worked properly. Died in a diabetic coma. He was 34.

      • Damned straight.
        Food is joy. It is for me, anyway.

      • Jonny On Maui

        “I’m an adult! If I want dessert for breakfast, so be it…”

      • bbayliss

        I agree but there are those who believe.
        life is short if you eat what you want.

        • I’m lucky, I trained myself at a very young age to like healthy food. 😊

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I had a good friend who believed because he was thin, ate healthy, and had good genes, he’d live to be a 95 year old smoker, just like his grandpappy. He died at 52.

          • bbayliss

            I was convinced I’d never live to be thirty and led a life consistent with that notion.
            Neil Young and I need to have a conversation about burning out vs. fading away.

      • TundraGrifter

        “I can have ice cream for breakfast!” ~ Phil Weston, “Kicking and Screaming”

      • Doug Langley

        “Is it true you live longer if you eat like Richard Simmons?”
        “No, it only seems longer.”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I love food, and it’s one of my few remaining vices, but I’ve been saying to myself lately “you’re not a dog, don’t reward yourself with food.” It makes me think before i grab the sweets.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      man, that stuff chicken breast sounds like a winner – although us non-rich-folks might want to save that for when one has a ravenous appetite and not in “snack mode.”

      • I shop the “NOSH” section ( “Natural Organic Specialty Healthy”) at the Grocery Outlet and I eat just like the rich folk for pennies on the dollar..

    • Phried Ω

      You know this is how Caesar Salad and Chicken Marengo were invented. Be sure to write down a recipe for what you come up with so you can make it again or never make the same mistake.

    • I R making stuffed breasts tonight even though I have such a bad cold I am not sure I did not pick up some incurable disease.
      I tried getting hubs to get the hint about picking something up but……

      • Jonny On Maui

        Did you use the hint brick?

        • No, to my eternal shame, and why I am trying to remind myself not to get mad because not a mind reader.
          I said, if you want you can pick something up? And he said I can’t think of anything I’d like better.
          So I went fair point, will make stuffed chicken breast. Then proceeded to sleep all afternoon until they woke me to cook for them.
          I honestly think I would have slept all night XD
          Course mind you, when he gets it, and he will, he won’t be able to do a thing. But the difference is he will say so with his mouth and not expect me to mind read.
          I have GOT to be more assertive.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You should read the book “He Said, She Said.” Men sub-consciously count on us not being assertive, probably because their mothers were not assertive.

          • I am not very assertive. I know this as a true thing that is true. Then I get all mad and yell a bunch.
            I guess that is ok since I don’t bottle it up and brood for years or whatever.
            BUT, to be fair, I have a: got to be more assertive and b: remember, they ain’t mind readers.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Tell us (men) what you want. We won’t listen anyway…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I have had SO many bosses (all male) who seemed to think I was a mind reader. I told them all the same thing…If I could read minds, I’d make a LOT more money working for the CIA.

            I have a friend who is like you, but she does bottle it up and brood, and then a month later she explodes, and the explosion lasts for several days. She’s been doing this with her husband for 35 years, which might explain why they don’t love each other anymore.

          • Doug Langley

            My mother was VERY assertive, which made me very un-assertive. Which always confuses me when I run into other people.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s interesting. My mother had steel instead of bones, and I don’t think anyone in the world ever got the better of her, except my father. But she only had a few really rigid rules – like not making a lot of noise, and if she said “Go set the table” you had to do it immediately and not keep reading your book until the end of the chapter, and you had to turn your clothes right-side-out before putting them in the laundry hamper or she wouldn’t wash them, and if she said “Be home by 10:30 pm” it did NOT mean 10:31 pm, and a few other things like that. As long as we followed her 6 or 7 rigid rules, we were free to do whatever else we wanted, and she encouraged us to be assertive as long as we were polite and didn’t use bad language.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I thought it was the hint cast iron skillet! My mother was doing it wrong for years!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I also have a horrible cold. I’ve lost track of how many days I’ve had it.

    • h4rr4r

      They make a vaccine for that now, I saw an advertisement in a drug store.

      • Indeniable Ron

        She’s on two antibiotics. This is why I’m worried. She has late-stage COPD and it doesn’t take much to compromise her breathing.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Once a month I stop by my neighborhood supermarket and buy a 2-pack of filet mignon. They cut them on Tuesdays, so if you go on Saturday you get them at a discount if there are any left over. I eat one right away and put the other one in the freezer to eat 2 weeks later, with a small baked potato and steamed broccoli, as a kind of super-deluxe semi-monthly treat. With the discounted price, they are about $4 each – they are small cuts, perfect for 1 person with a small appetite. But I stopped there today and alas! No filet mignons! I was SO ready to eat one tonight. I was drooling with anticipation. So now I will have a ham and cheese sandwich instead. How boring. Your chicken breasts sound yummy.

      • bupkus231

        “…perfect for 1 person with a small appetite”

        Gimme five of them suckers!

      • TundraGrifter

        Do you wrap them in bacon? Broil?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Go on…I’m listenimg…

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I poke them with a fork all over, rub in crushed garlic, add salt and black pepper, and broil in the oven for 6-1/2 minutes on each side (7 minutes if they are very thick). I like them medium on the outside, but pink and juicy on the inside.

          • TundraGrifter

            I’ve been reading about searing steak in a cast iron pan and then baking (not broiling). Our son cooked us dinner a while ago that way and it was great! Probably not as well suit for a filet such as yours because they are small.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My mother would buy cheap, tough round steak, cut it into individual portion size, brown it lightly, and put it into a pressure cooker with a large jar of home-canned tomatoes (crushed, with juice), six medium size white potatoes peeled and cut in half, some carrots cut into medium bite-size pieces, a pint or so of water, and cook it at 10 lbs pressure for 30 minutes. You could cut that meat with a spoon when it came out, and potatoes were pale pink from the tomato juice and fell apart when you cut them with a fork. Yummy.

          • TundraGrifter

            Hmmm…we just one of those Wolfgang Puck pressure cookers and I’m going to have to give that a try! You can brown the meat in it before you start cookin’.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My mother made a wonderful soup in her pressure cooker. 1-1/2 lb of bite-size pieces of round steak, browned, 1 qt of tomato juice, 1 qt of water, 1/2 cup cider vinegar, 4 stalks of celery, sliced thin (minced, if you prefer), garlic, salt, black pepper and oregano. Cook at 10 lb pressure for 30 minutes. Meanwhile boil up some chopped cabbage and wide noodles (or rice) to add to the soup when done (I prefer rice). Guaranteed to open your sinuses and cure that cold you’ve got coming on, and make you feel a whole lot better.

          • TundraGrifter

            I think I would have liked your Mother.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            She was my hero. Do you like sauerkraut? She would take spare ribs, cut them so there were 2 bones in each piece, brown lightly with salt & black pepper. Open 2 large jars or cans of Frank’s sauerkraut (no other brand would do) and put on bottom of pressure cooker, place 6 browned ribs on top, add 6 medium white potatoes peeled and halved on top of the ribs. Add water to appropriate level. Cook at 10 lb pressure for 35 minutes. The ribs are so tender you can eat the bones, which are very healthy for you. The potatoes absorb the taste of the sauerkraut, and the sauerkraut absorbs the taste of the pork. The smell when you open the cooker is so delicious that just thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes.

            Or take a whole head of cabbage, cut in quarters, put in pressure cooker with salt and plenty of black pepper and adequate water. I don’t remember how long she cooked it at 10 lb of pressure, but it was a delicious side dish.

            Chicken soup? She made it in the pressure cooker too. Working women of my mother’s generation loved the pressure cooker – you could cook a pot roast or stew or soup in 30 minutes.

            I almost forgot about her beef stew made in the pressure cooker! She added a cup of red wine. Yummy!

            Also ham and beans in the pressure cooker. Navy beans, of course, and a huge ham hock with a juicy bone in it.

            I’ve gained 10 lbs writing this.

          • Indeniable Ron

            Basically, a fast pot roast. I haven’t had a good pot roast in decades.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I haven’t had one since my mother died 25 years ago. If you are single and live alone, what’s the point?

            I have tried to find a SMALL pressure cooker that cooks just enough for 1 person, and there is no such thing except for this tiny one made to cook baby food in. I tried it. It doesn’t have a normal pressure gauge that rattles, it has one that is completely silent while steam builds up and then S-H-R-I-E-E-E-E-E-K it goes off suddenly and wakes the dead. Made me jump 10 feet and the cats hid under the bed and wouldn’t come out for 2 hours. I returned it.

          • Indeniable Ron

            If I were in the market for a small pressure cooker, I’d probably get a regular-sized one and have the local welding shop cut down the depth. Or maybe design one from scratch and have them weld it up, using one of the wobble-type pressure releases from a scrap cooker.
            And then never use it cuz it looks too cool, plus prolly wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            This is the smallest one I could find anywhere – 1.5 liter. Don’t buy it unless you don’t mind changing your underwear every time the gauge releases steam.
            https://www.amazon.com/HAWKIN-Classic-CL15-1-5-Liter-Improved-Aluminum/dp/B00SX2YZNK

      • Gosala

        Put in a little white sauce, sauté in a small amount of butter: viola! coq monsieur. Put a poached egg on top — coq madame

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I have the most delicious recipe for Chicken O’Brien as served at O’Brien’s restaurant in St. Louis back in the 80’s. They don’t serve it there anymore, but the recipe was printed in the local newspaper and I copied it. While cooking the chicken breasts any way you like, you also saute mushrooms and quartered artichoke hearts in a lemon-white wine sauce and steam some broccoli spears, then set one spear on top of each breast and pour the sauce over them. Yummy yummy yummy, but it takes a while to prepare, so I don’t make it very often.

    • Sophia

      I quite often go light on dinner if I had bigger meals through the day. Grapes & fruitcake sounds good.

  • msanthropesmr
  • I was just thinking …..if politics weren’t so fucked up and in dire need of attention, Robyn might have chosen a career in musical theatre – which would have been SO totally awesome.
    That makes me a bit sad.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Quotations from two Republican presidents:

    “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter plane with a half million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people. This is, I repeat, the best way of life to be found on the road the world has been taking. This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron…. Is there no other way the world may live?”

    “You know what I wanted to. I wanted to hit a couple of those speakers so hard. I would have hit them. No, no. I was going to hit them, I was all set and then I got a call from a highly respected governor… I was gonna hit one guy in particular, a very little guy. I was gonna hit this guy so hard his head would spin and he wouldn’t know what the hell happened… I was going to hit a number of those speakers so hard their heads would spin, they’d never recover. And that’s what I did with a lot – that’s why I still don’t have certain people endorsing me: they still haven’t recovered.”

    • Hhhhmmmm would that be Ike and…erm….huh cannot place the second one

      • Resistor Radio

        I think the second one is Lincoln, maybe? :D

        • Khavrinen

          Well, same party — or so they claim…

        • Doug Langley

          Nixon? No, not him. Dubya? Oh, it’s right on the tip of my tongue . . .

    • TJ Barke

      How fucking far we’ve fallen.

      • bbayliss

        A recent poll published by the American Psychological Association finds 59 percent of Americans surveyed think this is the lowest point in the nation’s history that they can remember.

        A slightly larger percentage, 63 percent, say they are stressed about the nation’s future, according to the poll.

        Nearly three-quarters of Democrats, 73 percent, say they are stressed about the future of the nation, compared to 56 percent of Republicans and 59 percent of independents.
        http://thehill.com/homenews/news/358160-poll-most-say-this-is-the-lowest-point-in-us-history

        • Democratic voters are a perceptive bunch

        • calliecallie

          Lower than the Great Depression? I don’t think so. I wasn’t there, but I’ve heard stories.

          • bbayliss

            WW2, 9/11 ?
            Things are bad if you lived through either and think thing are worse now.

          • theCryptofishist

            I lived through 9/11, and I thought that we were being governed by fools, even somewhat corrupt fools. Now we’re living under fools who are bigger fools, more corrupt fools, and openly traitorous fools.

          • bbayliss

            I lived through the Cuban Missile crisis and I honestly thought we were all going to die.
            So did everyone else.

          • theCryptofishist

            Okay, that trumps anything I got.

          • Gosala

            ISWYDT

          • Gosala

            Memories of the Cuban Missile Crisis may be behind the panic about North Korea.

          • Gosala

            9/11, for which I was a fully certified and credentialed adult was bad, but it was a moment and it was an external enemy. The country came together (fit a moment) and the world was on our side (for a moment)

            WWII, which I missed but heard about from the parental units, lasted a while longer, but again the country pulled together and we had allies and everyone agreed our enemies were bad people.

            This goes on and on. It divides us into mutually hostile Americas. It isolates us. The rest of the world looks in pity and consternation.

            Thus is worse. Much, much worse.

          • theCryptofishist

            And parts fo the rest of the world get kinda pissed off, also, too.

          • yyyaz

            This goes on and on. It divides us into mutually hostile Americas.

            Nailhead, meet Mr. Hammer.

          • theCryptofishist

            How many of our living citizens lived through and remember it. 10%? Okay, I pretty much made that up, but my mother’s in her 80s and she was a child then. Small child. Same with Doug’s Civil War–if there’s anyone in this country that remembers it, I want to shake her hand.

          • Amy!

            If you do shake their hand, be gentle!

            They’d have to be over a hundred and fifty.

          • theCryptofishist

            If they’ve lived that long then they’re tougher than Keith Richards, and could probably arm-wrestle with most of our living presidents.

        • Doug Langley

          I’m told the Civil War was a bit of an inconvenience.

          • bbayliss

            got in the way of the harvest.

          • Gosala

            Ah, but the romance….

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        You’ve not hit bottom yet, I fear.

    • TundraGrifter

      A few years ago I posted that first quote on Newsbusters without saying whom it was from. I just posted it as a statement. You should have read (well actually, you probably shouldn’t) some of the very angry responses!

      Probably one of the reasons I got banned from there.

    • mancityRed6

      wait a couple of years. it’ll be all “tRump who?” and “he was always a Democrat”

      • THIS.
        They are already sliming off.

        • bbayliss

          According to too many the victory in VA. was a victory over “trumpism” NOT republicans.
          We cannot allow this shit to happen.
          No more deflection.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            De Nile ain’t just a river in Egypt.

          • Agreed. They are the same thing. THE SAME EXACT THING.
            Sorry to our Republican friends looking for any shred of hope, but you fucking built this through decades.

          • miss_grundy

            They have been building it since the 1960s with Goldwater and they have only gotten worse over time. I watched “Charlie Rose” last night and he was interviewing David Brooks, who I cannot stand. Well, Mr. Brooks was crying like a baby over what Trump has done to the Republican party. Of course, he didn’t shoulder any of the blame.

          • bbayliss

            Maybe this time they’ll call their new party the “PEE Party”

      • theCryptofishist

        Especially when he was checking out the naked Miss Teen USA contestants.

    • Nockular cavity

      What a punk-ass little poseur tough guy. Can anyone here imagine Trump actually hitting somebody?

      • Stulexington

        You mean besides his son? Not really.

      • Gosala

        Is a violent abuser not a violent abuser because he is too much a coward to actually violently abuse?

  • BadKitty904

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7b0452b6ea2eba591169a5107521d6a46fa0bde2ad94350e2576e14b4f2d3b07.jpg

    Decorated World War II veteran, Pooli (short for “Princess Papule”), in her Navy uniform with its three service ribbons and four battle stars. Born on July 4, 1944, in the Navy yard at Pearl Harbor, she served aboard the attack transport, USS Fremont. Pooli saw action in the Marianas, the Palau group, the Philippines, and at Iwo Jima.

    • Khavrinen

      “Better not mess with the U. S. of A., muthafuckahs, or we’ll send in the cats!!

    • How long before she had that chair shredded?

      • BadKitty904

        As long at that chair does not threaten the sovereignty of the United States of America, it is perfectly safe.

  • wait! what?

    First song of my Apocalypse play list will always be Johnny Cash’s “When the Man Comes Around.” This one is in the top twenty.

    https://youtu.be/OUJsiaRFLtk

  • Doug Langley

    Okay. Here’s my situation. Just got groceries today (at the cheapest place in town, as usual). Checked my financial situation. I have about $200 in the bank and about $80 in my wallet. And that is IT. Not enough to pay rent in 3 weeks, and bills are starting to come in. I was counting on unemployment to start coming in soon. But, and this a big but, if they decide I don’t qualify, I am FUCKED. Will have to find something FAST, like the McDonald’s across the street or something.

    So yes, I am a bit preoccupied nowadays.

    • :hugs:

    • BosGrl

      :( Similar situation, Doug. Waiting for the school department to OK me as a substitute teacher. It sucks so much.

      • Doug Langley

        Sucks. So if they say yes, when would you start?

        • BosGrl

          I got my fingerprints done today, had my college transcripts sent, so hopefully I’ll get a call next week.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Im sorry to hear that. Is Uber driving a possible stop gap measure?

      • Doug Langley

        I’m really scared my car will fall apart without warning any day. Haven’t had any real maintenance in a year, only some oil and a new battery. Lots of rust. It’s years past getting replaced.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Aarrgh…

          FWIW, I keep seeing signs, and radio advertisements for factory workers @ $13 to $15 an hour to start. Its not a lot, but beats nothing. Also, Starbucks might be worth checking out, i think their managers do OK.

        • Gosala

          Home Depot pays $12 to start. Most positions are part time but eligible for benefits. Many areas are hiring up for the Christmas season.

          (Yes, I said Christmas and I’m not going to apologize)

          • Doug Langley

            I’ve done that before. So broke and facing eviction got a Christmas job at a retail store. It was hell of earth. Erratic hours, minimum wage, they work you into an early grave.

          • Gosala

            Something, something… but your chains.

    • Doug Langley

      Forgot to mention. For some reason no one knows, the apartment manager suddenly quit. Very mysterious. Anyway, the assistant is now is charge and they’re working out the confusion. For example, everyone thought the BINGO party was today, so they went out and got stacks of pizza. Whoops, no, manager had scheduled for next week. So I’m walking past the maintenance guy and he says “Want free pizza?” I gorged myself and took home an extra plate.

      • BosGrl

        Did you apply for food stamps?

        • Doug Langley

          I did months ago, but was turned down because they screwed up. I faxed the papers as instructed but they didn’t get them. But – if I got food stamps and no unemployment, I’m evicted anyway.

          • BosGrl

            Geez. I’m sorry.

      • theCryptofishist

        Aha! Breakfast! One less meal you have to pay for! This is exactly how Ivanka would do it.

        • Doug Langley

          But I don’t have paper plates that are gold plated. I feel like such a failure.

          • Gosala

            bootstraps, man, bootstraps!

          • theCryptofishist

            Boiled up right, they are very tasty.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      And yet, he persisted. Your run of stupid job situations will change. Been on unemployment as well, so I understand. I ended taking a job in bakery right before the holidays … learning to bake at scale. Muffins and cookies … I still dream about them …

    • TundraGrifter

      That’s a lot on your mind for a Saturday night. I hope things work out for you!

      What line of work were you in? Or, perhaps a better question, what are you looking for?

      • Doug Langley

        And Sunday morning . . . and Monday afternoon . . . and Tuesday evening . . .

        IT stuff, web design, graphics, database. Yeah, bounces around but that’s what happens when all you get is contracts. Recruiters keep dangling high paying gigs before me that I’m completely qualified for, but something always goes wrong and I never get it. Looks like I’ll be back at teach community college.

    • TundraGrifter

      2.0: If you must consider temporary work, think about a restaurant. It’s been my theory for years that the pay may not be great but the tips are in cash so you’re getting at least a little money right away and you should be able to get two meals on the days you work.

      One more thing – you know your apartment management much better than I do. I suggest just as soon as you know you won’t have the rent (and obviously I hope you do!) talk to them right away! Going in on the 1st or the 5th or the 10th and saying you haven’t got it isn’t exactly news. They already knew that. But I think most people are more apt to try to work with you if you let them know ahead of time.

      Good luck!

      • Resistor Radio

        I second all of this.

      • Doug Langley

        I HAVE been doing temp work. That’s what the summer camp was. That’s what the file clerk was. Ugh . . .

  • Lyly Sirivong

    It’s half past midnight and I’m stuck in a commuter train because someone fainted in the next station. *sigh*

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So apparently Flynn was a “consultant” for Cambridge Analytics, while he and Pete Smith (GOP operative, who alledgedly committed suicide, but was probably murdered by Hillary!) tried to procure stolen emails from Russians. Cambridge pretending they barely know Flynn. His ass is going to end up UNDER the jail.

    • bbayliss

      Mercers

      • theCryptofishist

        Mercers Mercer me

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Ayup. Rich fucks who could enjoy skiing in Aspen, or snorkeling in Hawaii, but prefer raping America as a hobby.

    • theCryptofishist

      1–Hilary is using that murder disguised as suicide an awful lot. Maybe she should change her mo.
      2–It makes me mad to see the sacred name of Cambridge through the mud. At least I can comfort myself with MA, not UK,

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        She definitely needs to change things up, because it’s getting too predictable.

        Something I learned recently: Vince Foster actually named the Wall Street Journal in his suicide note, so Rupert Murdoch helped Hillary murder him.

    • miss_grundy

      I have said before on other posts, I hope when they come to arrest him that there is a huge crowd outside his house chanting “Lock him up!”. He freaking deserves it after what he did at the Republican convention. Hijo de puta!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I cant wait to see his arrogant son in jail.

  • BMW
    • UnsaltedSinner

      For about half a second there, I was ready to conclude that the only thing to do is to nuke it from orbit.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There’s an epidemic of these things going on.

    • Doug Langley

      I swear, I really think I’m going to pull up the news tomorrow and read “SHOCKING ACCUSATIONS AGAINST FRED ROGERS . ..”

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Fred was OK. But you dare not turn your back on Mr. McFeely.

        • Doug Langley

          MCFEELY????? Oh gawd, now that name’s a red flag if ever I saw one!!!

          • therblig

            what about daniel striPED tiger?

          • Doug Langley

            EEEEEK!!

    • Fucking monogamous asshole.

    • BloviateMe

      I’m waiting to hear Wilson’s side of the story.

      • miss_grundy

        “Cast Away” is on Starz right now.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Tom was good in that, but Wilson was overacting.

          • Eventually his performance went flat.

          • Phried Ω

            But rebounded later.

          • BloviateMe

            His acting is one speed: balls out.

          • Johnatx

            Never watch Cast Away before a long flight

          • Stulexington

            I hear he had a ball filming it though.

          • Paul

            Inflated ego.

      • Oh shit – you meant the ball. I thought you meant his wife Rita.😁

    • SeeTrain65

      “I stand with the victims.”

      “He was just so damned supportive and kind. I just had to sit there and take it.”

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    Every so often I like to make a meal using whatever I can find in the house. Last night I made the best mac and cheese I’ve ever had. I had to blend a bunch of miscellaneous cheeses from the fridge. Here’s what I ended up using.

    1/2 cup of whole milk
    6 slices of smoked gouda
    A wedge of brie with the rind removed
    About 1/4 cup of shredded cheese (Mexican blend for tacos)

    Melt the cheese in hot milk until creamy.
    Thicken with 1 tbsp flour blended with 1tbsp butter
    Mixwith cooked Mac and top with 2-3 handfuls of toasted panko mixed with a handful of shredded asiago .

    Bake until bubbly.

    • Phried Ω

      Sounds like a tasty rarebit with a bit of amber ale.

  • gallbladder

    What I would not give for a “Saturday Night Massacre” of the Muellerian persuasion.

    • h4rr4r

      Trump would get away with it.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i believe it is coming, but will it get here before war?

      • gallbladder

        One would hope.

    • yyyaz

      I fear that the Congress of Traitors™ would applaud, then have 10 subcommittees investigate Mueller & Co.

      • gallbladder

        I fear to say you might be right. I just thought it might make for an interesting inversion of history.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        It depends on the public response. If the polls show they would lose their jobs by turning a blind eye, they will impeach. The one thing you can always count on in any politician is to save their own skin regardless the cost to others.

        • OutOfOrbit

          public response? no. DONOR response, YES

        • Joe Beese

          We know that Trumpkins will not be swayed by facts. We know that GOP senators are too cowardly to cross them.

          We’re stuck with him, folks.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            If supporting Trump will save them from being Primaried, but cost them the General election, some will try the Hail Mary of impeachment. The question is if it is enough. My belief/hope is it would be.

        • bupkus231

          “The one thing you can always count on in any politician is to save their own skin regardless the cost to others.”

          This is a remarkably common attitude – even my 82-year-old aunt has it. Isn’t there any way we can combat the intellectual ( and electoral ) laziness this generalization embodies?

          Now if you had qualified that by saying “any Republican ( and even some Democratic ) politicians”, I would have agreed with you wholeheartedly – but that generalization is one of the attitudes that have led us to where we are now – because it leads to “Who cares who gets elected?”

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            Ok, its an over generalization, since there are some people who will run towards the burning building and some of those burning building runner-towards people will become politicians at some point in their life, but that is not most of us or many politicians, and it certainly doesn’t lead me to “Who cares who gets elected”. What politicians do between getting elected and facing a self preservation moment is critical because that’s going to be most of their time in office.

            My point is that its really a matter of understanding human nature and altering the parameters to use that nature to get the response you want. Sure, some people will call it manipulation (e.g. how the Republicans stoke the fears of the base), but in reality its what we all do to some form or another every day. In my work, I manage my boss and I manage the people who are on the team I lead even though I am not their boss.

          • bupkus231

            Oh, I get that ( I think ). I shouldn’t pretend that I was disagreeing with you. It’s just that, to me, the idea that “all politicians are the same” is a cynicism that isn’t informed with the reason necessary to be cynical about ’em.

            It isn’t about using “that nature to get the response you want”, it’s about presuming that nature to excuse insisting on those who oppose that “nature”.

            ( then again, “managing” people, even on my own team, was the worst thing I ever faced – so, you might see that I’m predisposed to avoiding that )

    • OutOfOrbit

      two weeks ago i thought “game on” but now … phfft

      • theCryptofishist

        The trick is to meditate on “slow and sure” because Bunny Two-Scoops is the epitome of taking a nap instead of finishing his job. Get really zen about it–it will happen when it happens. Then when it happens–jubilation.

    • Phried Ω

      The scenario I fear is that the elf resigns to mount a write in campaign to deal with Moore and clear the deck for an AG who fires Mueller and team.

  • Jamoche
    • Studios suck

    • miss_grundy

      And those studio executives, who were probably male, should have been kicked in the family jewels and then she should have smiled and said: “Like this, asshole?”

      • Jamoche

        Yeah, I can come up with a really bloodthirsty smile – the “I have a black belt and I’m going to enjoy this” one – but when the artist got that response on the third try, I can see why she said “fuck it”.

        • theCryptofishist

          So, when is “Do you say that because all your executives are rapey control freaks?” going to become the correct answer?

  • Raan
    • Channel locks.
      They’re not just for blocking porn.

    • BloviateMe

      Looks like you left a few threads behind with those channel locks what have been left out in the rain at some point.

      I hates when things breakses, precious.

    • gallbladder

      For a moment, I thought this was a metaphor for the twisting, crushing, and removal of Drumpf.

    • Jon Sussex

      your tool looks like it could use some lube.

      • BloviateMe

        Funny, I’m hoping Mrs. Blov says those exact words tonight.

        • gallbladder

          ZING!

  • Jesse

    Heard today on npr:

    “Here’s the thing about being a woman: You have to be gold for a silver situation.”

    • hudson

      https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-10/15/7/enhanced/webdr02/anigif_enhanced-20107-1444908981-2.gif?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto

      “Gender inequality: A woman continues to have to do a LOT more than a man to get to the same position,” @BollyglotGifs

      • theCryptofishist

        Even in Bollywood? Bollywood?

        • hudson

          especially in bollywood. which btw is not even representative of all the indian cinema. #1. their characters are not generally representative of the greater population and #2. more indian cinema is made outside of bollywood than in it.

          when the bengalis and kannadigas where making litt based movides movies in hindi it was great. you had awesome movies like anand, anupama, pyaasa etc but it has changed since then.

          outside of bollywood they tend to explore much real and relevant themes. for example this.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eI1qImaTjwY
          a grown-up take on adult relationships and female sexuality.
          i wish i could translate all the nuances in the original in english.

          if you ever get a chance see a 1974 movie called eradu kanasu (two dreams) very female centric. shreds all sorts of male duplicity to pieces and raises important concerns from a female perspective.

          in general all of indian cinema has suffered a lot over time. way too much much fantasy based hero glorification. but the south and east still render some of the more important stories in litt to cinema.

    • I’m fortunate. I don’t have to be anything for anyone.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Just got back from phone banking for Doug Jones. We spoke to Democratic leaning voters, not a true cross section of Alabamians, but if the reactions I got on the phone are any indication, turnout on our part should not be a problem. You can do this, Alabama!

    • Johnatx

      Donated to Doug Jones yesterday.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Yay! Every little bit helps.

    • bupkus231

      Yeah, it’s easy to say on the phone, “Yeah, I’m gonna vote!” – but….

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        True, but the research shows it’s more likely a person will follow through if they are contacted. In-person contacts are best, but since I can’t spend the next few weeks in Alabama this will do.

        • bupkus231

          Fight the good fight, Cally….

    • Gosala

      Democrats not into child molestation?

      • Indeniable Ron

        And they even have a pizza place to do it in! Such a waste!

    • Cat Cafe

      YOU ARE SO GOOD

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Honestly, I do not think it is possible for republicans to win this one. Even if this guy gets elected, being photographed with him is a political death sentence. Can you imagine, having him support your legislation?

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar
    • Rebel Scum with permit

      We’re they canned?

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Yes. Because Roy Moore is A MONSTER.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Can clams give consent? Is there a legal age?

          • Phried Ω

            Levticus does not approve.

          • theCryptofishist

            Well, Leviticus can take his hundreds of persnickety rules and shove them up his ass.

          • Phried Ω

            I think that is in there as a no-no too.

          • theCryptofishist

            Then he can do it twice!

    • gallbladder

      Bivalve mollusc libelz!!111!!!111

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      The guy who wrote that must be a total mussel head.

    • Doug Langley

      I assume they have rippling mussels?

  • Michael R
    • TJ Barke

      Hmm. I wonder if there’s something to the fact that there is one person he won’t trash…

      • Phried Ω

        Ivanka looks more like Vlad than him. Just saying.

        • Stulexington

          So you’re saying he wants to bone Putin?

        • bupkus231

          That’s just the nose job. Give her a few more years, she’ll look like Mel Brooks [ Random older man, selected for comedic effect ] was her father…..

          • theCryptofishist

            Although, keep Mel Brooks far, far away from that family.

          • Indeniable Ron

            That’s the trouble, after a while the UV breaks down the plastic and the surface crazes like anything.

      • Cat Cafe

        What could it be? I can’t quite put my finger on it…

    • Panika MCD

      also too:

      Nazis: sometimes good people.

  • StrangerCaptainHowdy

    Sam / Jack. Discuss.

    • Gosala

      Jack definitely. Much more scope for naughty jokes.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • hudson

    ot: major fail at dinner tonight. tried to get all innovative tonight. water proportions were not correct. next time stick to basics.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Next time use canned clams. They will never fail you.

      • Phried Ω

        YM!

        • amrak63

          Yetta Minkowitz?

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Yum?

        • theCryptofishist

          Are we so desensitized that we can use initials in this important outrage?

          • bupkus231

            It’s better than numbers…

          • Phried Ω

            Well they aren’t those cakes we like.

      • OutOfOrbit

        go sit in the corner for 3 lifetimes

        • hudson

          lol. bit too harsh?

          • Jonny On Maui

            Ok. Two…

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I just bought canned clams tonight to make paella. Why are the cans of “whole baby clams” so big??? I don’t need a whole can, I need about half a can, and as I don’t make paella very often, the rest of the can will go in the fridge, where it will grow mold and be thrown away next week. What a waste.

        • h4rr4r

          Why not get the frozen mixed seafood? Tiny cheap bags, all kinds of random paella seafood.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I am a paella purist – I make it exactly the way I was taught by the lady I lived with in Spain 40 years ago. That means jumbo shrimp, clams, chicken, artichoke hearts, peas and chorizo sausage. I should also include squid, but I can’t get that in Missouri. I am sentimental about doing it exactly according to her recipe.

          • h4rr4r

            The mixed frozen has squid.

        • theCryptofishist

          1–That’s why I love composting, at least they do some good in the world after you make mistakes with them.
          2–If the clams are so big as babies what are they like when they grow up? Monsters?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I used to compost…but at this house if I do that, the coyotes tear up the compost pile in the middle of the night, and their yipping wakes me up.

            No idea how big clams can get…but I’ve seem some in Spain that were more than one mouthful. How do they grade these things? Are there Juvenile Clams, Teenage Clams, Adult Clams, Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator Clams, Senior Clams, or what?

          • theCryptofishist

            Yes, I have city compost take it all away. I realize it’s a privilege.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I would LOVE to have City recycling, but I live just outside the City limits, and in the County we have no curbside recycling at all. Bummer.

      • The Wanderer

        YOU NAUGHTY PERSON.

    • Gosala

      No guts no glory. Master the basics but keep experimenting.

      • hudson

        but it sucks in a special way when you fail and the whole house is hungry. the pressure of a hungry house is what is what is killing me.

        • gallbladder

          Understandable.Though, if anyone bitched about such misfortune when I was a kid, my mom would always dare us to cook the dish next time. One shuts up pretty quickly after that. Hopefully, your audience was gracious and grateful enough to partake of what you prepared. What was the dish?

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Delivery!!

        • Gosala

          Yeah well there’s that also too. :(

      • I have a potbellied pig so I never have to feel bad about experiments gone wrong.

        • theCryptofishist

          “Pig like that you don’t eat all at once.”

          • I love that joke.

          • theCryptofishist

            Me, too, also.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      What were you making? Maybe it’s salvageable.

      • h4rr4r

        It’s always salvageable.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Dogs will eat anything. Absolutely anything.

          • therblig

            gary the prison poodle just turned his nose up at a piece of snapdragon apple.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Perhaps it needs a touch of bechamel sauce?

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            Except the pills they are supposed take.Especially when they are expensive. Those, they spit out and hide when you are not looking.

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          I’ve worked in enough professional kitchens to know that’s not necessarily true.

          • h4rr4r

            Then the customers weren’t hungry enough, or your kitchen was too classy.

        • Alan

          Not always. Ask my wife.

          • h4rr4r

            Overcooked meat? Soup!
            Overcooked veggies? Soup!
            Overcooked bread? Stuffing!

          • Alan

            Overcooked rice?

  • amrak63

    This was written as a Christmas song, but it also works for Memorial Day and Veterans’ Day.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2kj_JElkCk

  • OrG

    It’s more of a hassle to have to get up and turn a record over than to push a button on a remote. But it’s worth it.

    • OutOfOrbit

      also, the zen of vinyl

    • hudson

      to my guests today i let out that we have pause and wait for rewind. their immediate response was, to paraphrase, what is rewind? and why do we have to wait??

      not even buffering is acceptable these days.

      • theCryptofishist

        Yeah! Down with aspirin!

  • yyyaz

    Putin said it,
    I believe it,
    End of story.*
    — Orange Foolius
    *reworked fundie bumper sticker

    • Bitter Scribe

      The master negotiator at work!

  • Bemused Tralfamadorian

    Euch, wedding =/. Good luck. I’ve only been to one that wasn’t awful, and thankfully it was for one of my lovely sisters. My other sister’s wedding was a nightmare, and even included an actual car crash.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Tens of thousands of nationalists marched in Poland today against Islam, immigrants, and Liberals. Yeah, this is definitely not anything to worry about.

    • h4rr4r

      I hope they are studying their Russian.

    • Stulexington

      Didn’t Poland have enough of fascists marching across it like 80-90 years ago?

      • Bitter Scribe

        Right? How can people in the first country to fall by force of arms to Nazi Germany flirt with fascism?

        • TJ Barke

          Cuz no one learns from history.

          • Jonny On Maui

            ^^THIS!^^

          • Bitter Scribe

            I guess not. Look at Greece, which got it every bit as bad in the war as Poland (and followed it with a horrible civil war to boot). Plus they suffered under homegrown fascists in the 1970s. But there are now enough nitwits there to form the so-called Golden Dawn movement.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Apparently Poland has taken a hard right turn recently.

          It’s really starting to feel like the lunatics are running the asylum.

      • Bill Diaz

        Poland was the first test of the ideas and leadership of Schnell Heinz Guderian, France was proof of the ideas and thank god that Hitler made Guderian take Kiev before letting him get back to Moscow or we would all be speaking German…

        Have a great day!

      • John Robinson

        Can’t lick ’em, join ’em.

        • Indeniable Ron

          They did.

    • BloviateMe

      It’s not like Poland would know anything about selective oppression or anything.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        That’s why it’s so freaking nuts.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Is the other half of the country heading to Germany?

    • gallbladder

      Read about that on the Al Jazeera site. “We Want God”…fucking hell.
      http://www.aljazeera.com/news/2017/11/thousands-fascists-march-warsaw-171111052813155.html

      • Indeniable Ron

        They never say which one. Ever notice?

    • Alternative Dog

      Pretty sure things are going to get worse before they get better.

      • bbayliss

        Count on it.

    • SayItWithWookies

      France 24 noted that a number of groups from foreign countries attended as well. Oh — international nationalism? They are going through contortions trying to turn stupidity into an ethos.

    • theCryptofishist

      As a half Polish American, and granddaughter of a semi-professional Pole, I object. Yer bsmechin’ my bloodlines, idiots!

    • Bill Diaz

      Isnt it amazing how so many of the victims of the Nazis are now becoming what they once hated and fought against?

      Have a great day!

      • Indeniable Ron

        Those who do not learn from history etc. etc.

  • Alternative Dog

    I’m recovering from surgery and doing the Twitter thing for the first time in a long time and I’m actually having fun…

    https://twitter.com/tbogg/status/929499777141686272

    • Raan

      “The immaculate conception and the virgin birth, these are matters of faith; but to believe that a married couple never got down, well that’s just plain gullibility!”

      • OutOfOrbit

        mebbee Joe didnut buy the angel story & wouldn’t take sloppy seconds

    • Panika MCD

      they obviously divorced because she had someone else’s kid and he was a total knowitall.

      • therblig

        having had a wonderful stepfather, i always had to give joseph credit. it’s just that he raises the bar on stepchildren so damn high.

  • The Wanderer
    • Resistor Radio

      I’m hooked!

  • Holly

    Self care and what it means to me? It means sherry in a delicate sherry glass in a tub full of bubbles and candles…lots of candles, and comforted in knowing I found one of the best men on the planet right here in this room. I’m warm and content tonight kids.

    • Alan

      Awww.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      How do you keep the candles lit when they’re in the tub full of bubbles?

      • Holly

        They have their own little boats they float around in. However, it does get a little dicey when I’m trying to shave my legs, and most especially after a couple glasses of sherry.

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    Little Debbie’s Oatmeal Sandwiches…serious addiction. It is the creamy white stuff in the middle….

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      I hear Roy Moore really likes little Debbies.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        ISWYDT

      • Tragic Typos

        Smashing my face into a those Little Debbies is outside of my normal behavior.

        • Bitter Scribe

          Did you get Big Debbie’s permission?

          • Tragic Typos

            I don’t recall ever eating a barely legal Little Debbie without sign off from the appropriate Big Debbie.

      • He only shops for children’s clothes when they’re half-off.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Ew!

      • therblig

        and Brownies

    • Bill Diaz

      Little Debbie was my first sexual experience. I never thought it would happen to me, but…..

      Have a great day!

      • theCryptofishist

        I think that the Wonkette style guide would have it: Dear Baker’s Monthly, I never thought it would happen to me…

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      dear lord – don’t keep those in the house if you get high.

      I learned that in college.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    That makeup contouring video is MAGIC and has been shared.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    Self care? Tonight, it is a meat ball sandwich, shared with the dog-baby, a bottle of Samuel Smith’s Cherry Ale in celebration of true Fall weather and celebrating the return of MeTV to the Atlanta airwaves on Sci-fi Saturday Nite! I’ll do that beauty shit tomorrow.

    • data_ninja

      Ooh, ,cherry ale sounds good! Picked me up some pale which isn’t too bad, but probably not as tasty.

    • Tragic Typos

      Cherry Ale sounds great right now. Wishing I’d picked one up at Whole Foods when I was there a few hours ago.

      Ever tried lambic mixed with chocolate stout and a scoop of vanilla ice cream? We are big fans of beer floats in this house.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        No, I have not but it sounds great.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        I tried a beer milkshake after reading Cannery Row. I wonder how many other people Steinbeck got with that gag.

        • Indeniable Ron

          Dave Lister, for one.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Sounds like an A-grade night in.

    • Holly

      I tip my sherry glass south to you. Have a blast tonight. And I’ll do my eyebrows and nails tomorrow in solidarity.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Hair color and pedicure for me.

  • ariel_gee_398

    They had to dejowl him for this photoshop. https://twitter.com/Team_Trump45/status/929504989885673472

    • TJ Barke

      Cuz a country with less freedom, more authority, more violence, more exploitation and more oppression is the only way to be great.

    • Doug Langley

      Yes, Putin is such a wonderful guy, a true leader. Why, he would never invade another country or something . . .

      http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/31/politics/donald-trump-russia-ukraine-crimea-putin/index.html

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Did Patton surrender? Let the NAZI’s draw up our security, intel, and battle plans?

      Just asking.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Sgt. Schultz has really let himself go.

    • theCryptofishist

      I don’t know about North Korea, but I don’t see Syria and Ukraine lining up for his help.

      • Ling Ling

        DPRK holding out

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Oh, my aching bone spurs!…

    • Juan de Fuca

      Damn, who am I to believe? A guy who’s already the most lying president of my lifetime or a former KGB spy?

      “I think [Trump]’s playing into [Putin’s] hands in some way,” said Barsky. “The end game is to create destabilization as much as you can amongst the Western camp to make Russia relevant again.” That phrase caught Klepper’s ear.
      “Make Russia relevant again? You can put it on a hat,” he said. “Wouldn’t even have to change the color.”

      I’m going with the ex-KGB guy. Because at least he’s a former Russian asset.

      http://www.slate.com/blogs/browbeat/2017/11/09/keith_urban_releases_weinstein_inspired_song_female_video.html

    • Panika MCD

      don’t the bone spurs prevent him from wearing a uniform? and all the dangling modifiers…even if I don’t point out that he can’t spell “their” properly. the modifiers are dangling. you should never dangle your modifiers in public. it’s rude.

      http://tlcoffeywrites.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/marxmeme.jpg

    • SayItWithWookies

      Wow — I find that image pretty fucking offensive and I’m not even in the military. I cannot imagine what someone who actually served would think. Though from what I know of the military, at least they’d have the good sense to start Assmouth out at a rank suited to his abilities and experience, though unfortunately there’s nothing lower than private.

  • Impatient

    I suggest that the Republicans failed to follow their SOLE choice last October. They failed to throw their support behind the only qualified candidate for President: Hillary Rodham Clinton.

    My suggestion is both absolutely absurd … and absolutely correct. We can all now see, and many can admit, that 60 million voters failed to make the correct vote. The vote that would have kept the least qualified and most traitorous candidate the United States has ever seen .. from becoming President.

    Now the Republicans have a minor “do-over.” Will they show they have any allegiance to our country? Will they support the only viable candidate for the Alabama senate seat? Will they refuse to support a first amendment denier and pedophile? I doubt it, but hope springs eternal.

    • Doug Langley

      Not all Republicans. There were 3 newspapers, I believe, which have been staunchly conservative for many years. Every election, they endorsed the Republican no matter who it was. Last year, they changed and endorsed Hillary. “She may be a Democrat, but she’s sane” was the explanation.

  • Tragic Typos

    Two gems up on ThinkProgress ATM:

    Yes, Roy Moore was a creeper

    https://thinkprogress.org/former-prosecutor-says-it-was-common-knowledge-that-roy-moore-dated-high-school-girls-b73e489bea05/

    Walmart selling Japanese Internment photos as wall art because who doesn’t like that shit?

    https://thinkprogress.org/wal-mart-japanese-internment-wall-art-188d5c6bfb8c/

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    soooo, open thread, huh?

    After almost being catastrophically late to training last week, I bought an alarm clock.

    It clocks, but it does not alarm.

    It doesn’t alarm, surprise, notify, or frankly even draw attention to itself.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Botox?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        I think it may be an introvert. I get it little clock, but I’m still gonna have return you, unless Apple can get its most advanced phone on the planet to actually wake me up at the times I meticulously have entered into it.

        • You should ice that burn

          Test it. Set it for 6:51 PM and wait 10 minutes.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            That’s what I did and that’s how I discovered it just blinks at me. (See above).

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            Did you try turning it off and turning it on again?

          • You should ice that burn

            Funny and completely true. Beyond that, drilling down in the “Clock” app. The “reset” on iPhones fixes wonky behavior in a lot of cases. Press and hold the Home button and the Sleep/Wake button at the same time. Beginning with the iPhone 7 you need to press and hold the Sleep/Wake button and the Volume Down button.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            Thanks, I may try that. (Still have my iPhone 5).

          • Indeniable Ron

            My battered Kobo Arc7 tablet acts the same way – soft reset to fix just about everything. HARD resets, however, are occasionally necessary as well, but happily Android remembers which apps it used to have installed.

          • Doug Langley

            The explanation is simple. You’ve gone deaf.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            eh? What’s that?

        • Doug Langley

          Apple? Do something to benefit you? hahahahahahahahahahaha

        • StrangerCaptainHowdy

          Oh, you bought one of those “app” things, not a real alarm clock, I see . . .

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            no no no, had my iPhone…had to buy an actual existing sits on a little shelf clock after waking up 45 minutes before mandatory training.

          • StrangerCaptainHowdy

            Oh, woops, sorry. OP is a mite unclear, opposing counsel would shred it in an eyeblink.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol. My bad, doing laundry, ironing, watching netflix, typing up memo, doing research. (alternately, not all at teh same time!)

    • Doug Langley

      That’s alarming.

    • BosGrl

      One of us here, for a modest fee, or a pack of gum, could call you at the appointed hour and scream into the phone.

      • OutOfOrbit

        but who can be trusted = prankster grl?

        • BosGrl

          It’s the only thing I’ve got going for me. I am generally on time.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            thankfully my sleep schedule is adapting and fall back gave me an edge. I was up at six today (and still 15 min. late to class, doh!)

    • OutOfOrbit

      try turning off & back on

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        at this point, I’m willing to try it.

        All it does is silently flash a tiny green dot.

        THAT DOES NOT WORK FOR ME.

        ahem.

    • Does it at least scrunch up its face when the hour draws nigh?

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      Use the phone Taco.

      • Doug Langley

        Is that the backup if the shoe phone isn’t working?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        the phone has failed me for the last time!

    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • Bemused Tralfamadorian

        It’s always a good time for ‘Time’.

    • Sophia
    • BloviateMe
      • Old town Urbandale

        And then the murders began.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          Click the video just below…THAT led to the murders beginning.

    • Holly

      You make me laugh every freakin time.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        : D

    • therblig

      get a cat and start feeding it at 5AM. you’ll never sleep in again.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        that little fucker wakes me occasionally at 3 am for food – but he’s less dependable than me.

    • Indeniable Ron

      That is a wonderfully Pratchettesque description.

  • From the Choosing Democrats Does Matter dept: here is Gov. Jerry Bown (“My governor” he, humbly bragged) being the awesome

    https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/11/11/jerry-brown-california-profile-215812

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      That picture of Jerry Brown makes me sentimental. He really looks like his Dad.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Uh oh, I hope we are not in some kind of time loop and end up with Ron Reagan Jr as the next Governor.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Pat Caddell saying “…I think if Jerry had run in ’16, he could have won the Democratic nomination” is such a tease. Imagine having President Moonbeam instead of Pendejo.

    • NorthernSaber

      He came to my high school in East Nowhere Maine back in 1978. The locals thought he was an exotic hippie from the Left Coast and nowhere near as impressive as Carlton Fisk (who had shown up in his Army Reserve uniform!) had been. Yep…

  • You should ice that burn

    Imagine the despair that fun Contouring 101 vid visits on the MGTOW crowd. That gal hams it up like a pro!

  • janecita

    I’m watching “The Babadook,” and I’m ready to strangle the boy. The kid is a pain in the ass.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you have my sympathy

      • janecita

        I’m 20 minutes in, is it really bad?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          aye.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      I seem to recall having a similar opinion.

      That movie didn’t even really make an impression.

      Watch Death Note instead.

      • janecita

        I did, I like the anime way better. Did you watch “The Handmaid’s Tale?”

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          still haven’t seen that one. Not really in the mood for bummer flicks lately.

          Is the anime on netflix? Cause I could get into that.

        • janecita

          That’s where I watched it last year. Watch “Harlots” on Hulu, that show is quite good.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ever seen Misfits on Hulu?

            First coupla seasons were good.

          • janecita

            I haven’t, I’ll check it out, thanks.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            sort of anti-hero superhero thing.

          • Holly

            I’m binging on Stranger Things – Season One.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            For some reason, I just never got into it.

            To be fair, I gave it all of 5 minutes. Dunno why.

          • Holly

            For those of us – of a certain age….it rings bells, and production is exquisite. Give it another go.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah, I was about the kids age at the time.

    • StrangerCaptainHowdy

      I don’t remember it much now, except that it was OK but not so overwhelming. It was much ballyhooed at the time.

    • Bemused Tralfamadorian

      I really enjoyed ‘The Babadook’, but the kid was annoying. It’s hard for me to properly judge films which riff off sleep paralysis and hypnopompic hallucinations beyond whether they capture the essence of the experience well.

      • Me The People

        I recently had a sleep paralysis in which I was the victim of a cuban sonic mind attack, right in my bedroom, here in Scotland. (I’d read a detailed account in The Guardian about it earlier that day ). I cried out to my wife in the middle of it “Is this really happening – seriously – a sonic attack” and she shouted back at me “yes it’s really happening”. Course, in reality she never said anything of the sort, all she knew was me lamely struggling and mumbling for a minute or so. So fucked up how hard your brain tries to convince you it’s all totally real at the time.

        • janecita

          It was real, we Cubans have being planning an attack on you for years. Be afraid, be very afraid! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/69c774aac25b5f0bd55a8b80675698d6fb9f533aac04753545870d3ff6f352c5.gif

          • Me The People

            There is a theory that the Cuban mind attack story is just the result of hysteria – after this experience I think that’s pretty plausible. Perhaps certain stories involving attacks on the person of one sort or another may be infectious to people who are prone to sleep paralysis.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            That’s an epic Willem Dafoe gif. Love it.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          I seriously seriously wanted your wife to have actually said in real life.

          I haz a disappointed.

          ; p

        • Bemused Tralfamadorian

          That’s terrifying. The worst part is how real it seems.

          • Me The People

            Yeah you actually see, hear and feels things as if they are completely real. In this case, it was the noise – deafeningly loud and like a piercing shriek and a giant drill.

          • Bemused Tralfamadorian

            There’s no way to describe the sheer primal terror to anyone who hasn’t had the experience. There have been times, while awake, that I thought I was about to die or to be killed (eg, being on the wrong end of a gun held by someone in the throes of amphetamine psychosis), but the fear was never as intense, because there’s always a core of rationality while awake. Having one’s consciousness consisting entirely of a hallucination and the associated fear is something that can’t be understood without experiencing it.

          • Me The People

            Very scary, but at the same time fascinating and food for endless thought. I’ve gotten more used to them over the years – but then just as I think they’ll never really scare me again, my brain produces some new ‘innovation’ – eg real, intense physical pain, levitation, whatever – something I’ve never experienced before in them – and once again I’m convinced it’s real, and genuinely terrified once more as a result.

    • Gosala

      I misread that as Baby Dok.

    • gallbladder

      Terrific: Another Haley Joel Osment.

      • janecita

        This kid is worse.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I have a theory on why Dems kicked ass in VA – in addition to being sick of Trump, people are sick of mass gun murders, and the GOP’s thoughts and prayers.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Now we have child molestors to be sick of too. Nazis, racists, gunhumpers and child molestors.

  • “We stand naked before the world, the Bible Belt around our ankles and