SHARE

In an interview with Fox News’s Laura Ingraham on Monday, Paul Ryan lamented the tendencies of the “secular left” to dismiss calls for “thoughts and prayers” after mass shootings, in favor of discussing actual legislation that might do something to prevent them. Of course, anything we might actually do to prevent mass shootings would be something that would not go over very well with the Republican base, so Ryan is taking a different tack. He is saying that prayer works.

Via The Hill:

“It’s disappointing. It’s sad and this is what you’ll get from the far secular left. People who do not have faith, don’t understand faith, I guess I’d have to say,” Ryan told Fox News’ Laura Ingraham on “The Ingraham Angle” when asked about the criticism.

“And, it is the right thing to do, is to pray in moments like this because you know what? Prayer works.”

Now, as I am far from the first to point out, this shooting literally happened in a church. A church where, one would assume, people were praying. That did not appear to stop Devin Patrick Kelley from shooting them.

According to an even more appalling person writing for The Federalist, Lutheran pastor Hans Fiene, this shooter was actually God’s way of answering their prayers.

Because now they get to go to heaven EVEN SOONER!

So when a madman with a rifle sought to persecute the faithful at First Baptist Church on Sunday morning, he failed. Just like those who put Christ to death, and just like those who have brought violence to believers in every generation, this man only succeeded in being the means through which God delivered his children from this evil world into an eternity of righteousness and peace.

If this is true, we might as well just make murder legal right now and call it a day. Imagine all the people who could be in heaven right now if we didn’t send all those very helpful murderers to jail? Why are we letting Charles Manson go to waste in a jail cell when surely he could have encouraged several generations of disaffected youths to send people right to that eternity of righteousness and peace?

Though at this point that does seem more likely than getting any kind of gun control passed.

Even if I did believe in God, I would still believe that more than just prayer was necessary. In fact, many people who do believe in God think more than just prayer is necessary, just in general. I happen to know a lot of Catholics — who, unlike Paul Ryan, actually give a shit about poor people — and they don’t just sit around all day praying for poor people to have food or for homeless people to have a place to sleep at night. They feed them. They shelter them. And yes, they pray too, but they do things to make sure it happens.

Horrible things happen all the time. In nearly every other instance we are allowed to discuss and implement practical solutions. In 1982, someone went and put cyanide capsules in a bunch of Tylenol bottles in the Chicago area. Since then, we have tamper resistant packaging on pill bottles, and we have not had any further incidents of that kind. Does Paul Ryan think that perhaps we should have just prayed for that to never happen again? Would that have been just as effective? I’m gonna say no.

Ryan, of course, does not say how prayer is supposed to “work” in this situation. He is terribly vague about it. He only knows that the “secular left” not believing this is what is tearing this country apart.

“And I know you believe that and I believe that,” Ryan told Ingraham about the effectiveness of prayer.

“And when you hear the secular left doing this thing, no wonder you’ve got so much polarization and disunity in this country when people think like that.”

Is unity really the answer here? I mean, if we all collectively clapped our hands at the same time, while saying “I believe in a country where a mass shooting doesn’t happen every week,” we’d all be very unified. Unfortunately, that would do jack shit to prevent some asshole from getting hold of an AR-15 and shooting up a church.

No one is telling religious people they can’t say a novena for the survivors and the families of the victims. That’s not a thing. What we are saying is that prayer — while surely comforting for people — is not the solution to this particular problem. What we are saying is that we feel a certain kind of way when people like Paul Ryan want to offer us nothing but prayer while refusing to talk about solutions.

Paul Ryan and his ilk have had more than enough time to test out this “thoughts and prayers magic away mass shootings” theory. They’ve tried it over and over again, and even started demanding that people specifically not talk about things we can do to prevent them directly after a tragedy. Clearly, the results of this have not been good. Perhaps it is time to try a different tack.

[The Hill]

Wonkette is ad-free and funded solely by Readers Like You. Let us pray.

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • armed_bears

    At the NRA, we’re here to do the Lord’s work!

  • Scooby

    It totally works, Paul Ryan didn’t get shot did he?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yet. He doesn’t play baseball, does he?

    • FlownΩver

      Evidently not all prayers are answered. Not that I know anyone who would pray for such a thing to happen. Oh, no.

    • Historicat

      Paul is just an errand boy – the minute he drops off the field, the Powers That Be will have a new mouthpiece ready to do their bidding.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    If this is true, he should quit trying to cut taxes and just pray that the rich get richer and the poor get the shaft.

  • MynameisBlarney

    God was answering their prayers?
    WTF?
    They expect us to believe these people were praying that they’d be fucking murdered by a crazy fucking asshole with a semi-automatic rifle?

    These goddamned churchies are really fucking stupid.

  • Crystalclear12

    Paul Ryan thoughts and prayers: God, help us stay focused on the important things in life. Tax cuts for the rich. Amen

  • ManchuCandidate

    Is Tap better than ceramic armor inserts at stopping bullets or better than having gun control?

  • Ryan Denniston

    “I happen to know a lot of Catholics — who, unlike Paul Ryan, actually
    give a shit about poor people — and they don’t just sit around all day
    praying for poor people to have food or for homeless people to have a
    place to sleep at night. They feed them. They shelter them. And yes,
    they pray too, but they do things to make sure it happens.”

    Those mean Catholics, keeping all those poor people out of Heaven.

    • JMP

      They’re not following in the tradition of Saint Mother Theresa of making suffering people suffer even more out of belief that suffering helps the soul, that’s for sure.

    • Blackest Noobs

      also those Catholics are not posing for fake pics of themselves washing dishes that were already washed.

      • willi0000000

        but . . . but . . . but . . .that’s the best form of republican charity.

        [ oh, another oxymoron to add to the list ]

  • DainBramage

    Paul’s prayer: “Lord, help me to forget the latest mass murder so I can get on with my sacred work of starving grannies across this great nation.”

  • JMP

    Prayer works in that it makes the person praying feel better for themselves and think they’re doing something to help the situation, even thought they are in fact literally doing nothing and all the praying in the world does jack shit for the victims.

    • willi0000000

      and publicly sending “thoughts and prayers” is just another way of saying “look at me!”

  • Mary Theresa

    Thoughts and prayers = NRAs prosperity gospel.

    • OutOfOrbit

      so many answers prayed

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Holy Moses!

  • Alan

    He doesn’t believe a word of it. It’s part of the act.

  • memzilla Ω

    Since then, we have tamper resistant packaging on pill bottles…

    How about putting tamper-resistant packaging on POLITICIANS?

  • elviouslyqueer

    Dear Paul, Laura, and Hans,

    Please STFU. You’re giving me a migraine.

    No love,

    God

  • Picabo
  • gallbladder

    So, the GOP is as cool with decimating entire families in a spray of bullets at home as they are destroying entire families in the Middle East. Good to know that they’ve at least some consistency when it comes to their utter fucking bloodthirsty senselessness.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      The death cult of Mammon.

  • george lastrapes

    Mix thoughts and prayers into the gunpowder!
    Those thoughts and prayers will be right where they are needed, and deployed when they will do the most good.
    That will save time and effort, so that we can nave a rational conversation about guns NOW instead of sometime in the future.

  • Bananas Foster

    If prayer worked, Paul Ryan would currently have his head up his ass and be munching on his prostate.

    • gallbladder

      Oh no, he doesn’t have to pray to realize the even larger dream of munching on America’s prostate: Drumpf.

      • Toledo Window Box

        Trump isn’t our prostate, he’s our appendix.

        • FlownΩver

          I’m thinking he’s somewhere further down the alimentary canal… say, as far down as possible.

    • elviouslyqueer

      But then what would his boyfriend do?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Laugh N’ Point?

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Ryan, of course, does not say how prayer
    is supposed to “work” in this situation. He is terribly vague about it.
    He only knows that the “secular left” not believing this is what is
    tearing this country apart”

    That’s because he has no idea how it’s supposed to work. It’s like with his tax cuts to help the poor, this sham at playing the part of a human being is an act a mile wide and an inch deep. Ryan’s more the spectral manifestation of the collective wet dreams of corporations than he is a human being.

  • shivaskeeper

    Prayer works like it is intended to in these situations. It makes you feel like you did something and can claim some moral ground when you have no intention of actually doing something concrete to help fix the fucking problem.

    Prayer as the ultimate expression of slacktivisim. The best part is you don;t even have to pray, all you have to do is say you did. FFS it take more to change a FB avatar to the latest thing to protest than it does to pray.

  • Toledo Window Box

    Prayer works? These people were shot while praying.

    What the hell were they praying for, Ryan?

    • jesterpunk

      They where not praying to not be shot.

      • Rob

        I’ll wager they were after the first person got shot. Still didn’t work.

        • jesterpunk

          But God couldn’t do anything because the gays got married. For an all powerful God if 2 people in love can stop him he isnt that powerful.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Tax cuts for rich people.

  • johnnysandiego
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Jews. Know what I mean?

    Oh, does “secular left” not mean Jews any more? Are right-wing assholes not using the John Burch Society style guide any more?

    • gallbladder

      The new George Soros decoder rings came in yesterday.

      • Oblios_Cap

        “secular left” = “elitist booklearners” these days.

      • Crystalclear12

        I didn’t get mine.
        Crap, that means I’m a secular leftist, doesn’t it?

        • gallbladder

          Not secular enough.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        DON’T FORGET TO DRINK YOUR OVALTINE

        • gallbladder

          A crummy commercial?!?

    • JMP

      It also means us atheists now!

  • goonemeritus

    I prayed for Hillary to win a year ago, did I do it wrong?

    • Crystalclear12

      Did you pray in Russian?

      • goonemeritus

        I out source my important praying to my devout 90 year old mother, she tends to pray in Latin, not being a big fan of Vatican II.

        • Crystalclear12

          Well, there you go.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Obviously. It was to Baal, wasn’t it? I hope you didn’t waste time on that Jesus fellow.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I sent Donna Brazile to help her out…how did that go?”
      — Jeebus

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Prayer works, so I don’t have to.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “And, it is the right thing to do, is to pray in moments like this because you know what? Prayer works.”

    The evidence pretty clearly shows that it does not. Of course, limiting your response to these hideous tragedies to rote offerings of “thoughts & prayers” does keep the gun lobby cash flowing in. So on that basis, I suppose, prayer does work…

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Paul Ryan, Ayn Rand follower and devout Christian.

      Nope, no inconsistency there.

      • JMP

        Both are ideologies that demand absolute unquestioning faith in dogma that has been disproven by empirical fact.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          And can be made compatible by supporting the horrible legislative ideas of both faiths…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Of course prayer works. But just like Trickle Down Economics, you have to squint at it sorta sideways, and kinda ignore most of the numbers and stuff.

  • Ryan Denniston

    You know where else Thoughts and Prayers works real well? Teen pregnancy, that’s where! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7aff446d5e5187167b177ec11e8d65f142851be3daf95080d758c4a378bfa547.png

    • tihond

      Bristol weeps.

      • gallbladder

        …and then cracks open another wine cooler.

      • FlownΩver

        The kids in Bristol
        Are smart as a pistol
        When they do
        The Bristol Stomp.

        Note to Dok: Not advocating, just recalling a bit of misspent youth.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I’m sensing a pattern here…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Lol, Utah. Well, actually it’s probably the magic underwear doing the job there. Credit where it’s due.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Rubber babby bedroom rompers

  • jesterpunk
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    BTW, Paulie dear, no one here is saying that you cannot pray and also put your faith to work by doing something to address the problem at the same time. “God helps those who help themselves” is a saying for a reason, just sayin’…

    /FFS

    • jesterpunk

      I sent you 2 big boats you dummy.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUNcyyhXVlU

    • MynameisBlarney

      Sorry, but that does not align with the values of The Republican Jesus.

    • Covfefe

      Bootstraps for Jesus

    • Lascauxcaveman

      “God helps those who help themselves”

      But I think that’s more of a Calvinist dictum. Paul is more of Paulist, dude-bro type of Xian.

  • sincarne

    Listen, you can pray, and believe in prayer, and STILL DO SOMETHING. The Bible is pretty clear that God works through people.

    • Oblios_Cap

      “The Lord helps those who do all of the heavy lifting.”

  • Oblios_Cap

    I’ve yelled “Oh, Go” and then orgasmed. I guess that prayer does work.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      “Is Mommy’s new girlfriend a Preacher? I heard them both saying “Oh…God” most of the night.”

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Go Fuck Yourself, Ryan, you Godbothering Prevaricator and Enabler of the worst violence.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Hans Fiene did a no-no. {voice of child} “We not asposed to tell that Chris-Chrischee-annity is a death cult. Mama said so. It’s not allowed!”

  • goonemeritus

    Maybe we can convince people they don’t need guns for self protection, they can just pray the danger away.

  • Crystalclear12

    Reagan seemed to think legislation worked better than thoughts and prayers.

    • Blackest Noobs

      and fucker also raised taxes six times when dipshit realized trickle down economics DID NOT WORK.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      That doesn’t count. He got shot, so that wasn’t regulation, which is bad. That was revenge, which is good.

      • Covfefe

        Reagan’s Shooter was the prototype of the nutcase. He shot Reagan to impress some actress that he had never met but was in love with. They couldn’t try him because he wa legally insane.

        • JMP

          Him, and George Wallace’s shooter; his reasons had nothing to do with politics, but because he saw how famous Lee Harvey Oswald, James Earl Ray and Sirhan Sirhan had become, he decided to try to assassinate a Presidential candidate just to become famous.

      • Suttree

        I thought he passed legislation in CA after the Black Panthers started walking around open carrying.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I think you’re right.

  • ken_kukec

    So let’s get this straight: The faithful gather for Sunday services to praise the Lord in prayer, but the Good Lord won’t lift one little incorporeal finger to spare an innocent child from murder in that house of prayer? And the remedy for this is more prayer?

    Ivan Karamazov would’ve had a field day with this one in “The Grand Inquisitor.”

    • roberteye

      It was just a way for Ryan to trash the “far secular left”, who don’t pray, hate god and hate his stupid tax cut Ayn Rand wet dream.

  • Juan de Fuca

    You know what works better than thoughts and prayers? A ban on all assault weapons. No more half-measures, no more trying to meet these folks in the middle – a fucking ban. I like AR-15’s too but tough shit. Ban them.

    And it sounds like Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand agrees:

    […] Of the five worst mass shootings in our history, three of them have occurred in just the past 17 months.

    Think about that.

    In a small town in America, nearly seven percent of that town’s population was slaughtered, just because they went to church that day.

    The weapon he used was based on a military weapon designed for a war zone.

    But this was not a war zone.

    It was a church. People were singing, and praying, and savoring life.

    I reject the notion that is it “too soon” to act. If not now, when?

    We should ban assault rifles and bump stocks today!

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/read-sen-kirsten-gillibrand-speech-seeking-tougher-gun-control-article-1.3615564

  • Toledo Window Box

    We’ve really gone through the looking glass when a US Congressman can say with a straight face that prayer works, right after 50 people were mowed down WHILE PRAYING, IN A CHURCH.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It is rather staggering, isn’t it?

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Speaker of the House, no less. Third in line for the presidency.

      Of course, the second in line feels the same way.

  • JMP

    If you’re going to pray, why not at least pray to a god who answers prayers in powerful ways? For instance, Rh’llor enables his priestesses to conceive shadows and use them to assassinate (for example) their king’s treacherous brother and the brothers’ lieutenant who is refusing to surrender his old castle. Yahweh doesn’t enable his priests to cast any divine spells, not even a basic level 1 cure light wounds – where’s the power in that?

    • Historicat

      Yahweh gave his priests the Ten Commandments and then they went and lost the Ark of the Covenant to a pharaoh. Too bad that once it was recovered, it was being studied by Top Men.

  • calliecallie

    So infuriating. What shall we do, wonkers? I will write my useless congresscritter, of course. Many of us today can vote. Do we give money to the Brady campaign to prevent gun violence? Gabby Giffords? What? I want a plan.

    • I know, right??? My congresscritters are the very useful Chris Murphy, Richard Blumenthal, and Rosa Delauro. They’re already on board. I wish I could get on the phone with morons like Ryan, but I’m not one of his constituents, so they don’t have to listen to me.

      • Oblios_Cap

        It’s alright; they don’t listen to their constituents either.

      • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

        You can send him a letter and tell him something along the lines of “I am not a constituent of the physical area responsible for electing you, so you don’t have to actually take my calls and can discount my letters, my money doesn’t have any respect for these boundaries. I will support anyone running against you, and my friends to do the same.”

    • shivaskeeper

      Voting is the start.

      The entire culture has to change. Guns are baked in to the culture from our creation as a country and the Revolution to our movie heroes now, The myths need to be changed with the reality through actual education.

      Guns are deliberately treated as toys by far to many people. Any negligence with a gun needs to be charged with every legal violation that would apply from noise ordinance violations up to murder. There is a lack of accountability that is damn near cultural at this point. There are no real repercussions for fucking up. That needs to change and I think that could be done at local levels. Local police, prosecutors, politicians and all.

      In any case it’s going to be a long hard fight.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        So much this. But also too, the culture of “erectile dysfunction” and toxic masculinity needs to change. It enables both rape culture (Weinstein, O’Reilly, etc.) and gun culture/fetishization of violence. Warmongering is part of this — Kubrick got it so right when he portrayed war as a dick-measuring contest. The boys need to grow up or GTFO.

        • shivaskeeper

          As well. There is a lot of work to do. The only good thing about that is changing one thing does not just change one thing. Some much of it is interconnected that changing one thing changes things almost across the board.

          It’s going to be long, hard fight. It’s still daunting as fuck, but not impossible.

      • JMP

        Guns are treated as toys; while toy guns are regulated much, much more strictly that real ones are now. For instance, I had to spend a good amount of money to get a recent new version of Shockwave, my avatar, imported from Japan because he’s illegal under toy gun laws, even though he’s a bright purple laser gun; while Megatron was originally a realistic hand gun so modern remakes of him have all become tanks instead unless they’re also only sold for retail in Japan.

        • shivaskeeper

          No problem there at all.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • jesterpunk

      Funny how that works when the shooter is white, but when its a muslim its fine to talk about banning all muslims.

      • Blackest Noobs

        im all about banning white men from traveling..travel ban on white guys until we get a bead on this problem.

        • jesterpunk

          I am a white guy and I would agree with that policy.

        • MynameisBlarney

          But what if I need to flee the country because some of the other white men go full on civil war reenactment with live ammo?

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    As I keep saying to believers of various faiths (especially western monotheists), both they and I are very fortunate that I don’t believe in any of their gods. If I did, I would do nothing all day but desecrate churches and holy books, cause that guy is kind of a dick.

  • goonemeritus

    Since it is too soon to be talking about gun control after the Texas massacre, please assume all my previous comments are about the Las Vegas massacre.

    • Yeah. My comments are about Newtown.

      • SDGeoff3

        In our house, we light a candle to recall the many Bowling Greens.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Nope. It’s still too soon to talk about the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Pfft. You call that a massacre? Body count of seven. Wouldn’t even register as a blip these days.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Praise the Lord and Pass meaningful gun legislation the ammunition.”
    — Paul Ryan, amateur theologian

  • Suttree

    Praying for people who just got shot to death is as useful as funerals. It doesn’t do shit for the dead person, but it certainly helps the living come to terms with the finality of it. Sure you can pray for those who were only wounded, but I’m pretty sure they would prefer some healthcare that didn’t cause them to have to file for bankruptcy.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      “You *celebrate* a death?”

      “Commemorate, actually.”

      “And the one dead appreciates this?”

      “It’s more for the living, to process their feelings and move on.”

      “Klingons do not do this.”

      • SDGeoff3

        I’ve been known to (literally) pop a champagne cork or two. Guilt free.

  • shivaskeeper

    You know, if I had my way would drag every single one of these fucks like Paul Ryan into and through the abattoir.

    I would force him to look at the bodies. I would force him to look at the dead kids with their dead parents on top of them trying to shield them. I would not allow him to look away. I would not allow him to do anything but see what what his words and inaction have helped to cause. I would force him to see just what prayer does to stop bullets. I would make him see the blood on the walls and the floors and the ceilings. I would make him fucking wade through it.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Hand the GOP some fucking mops and send them to every mass shooting so they can mop up the blood of children.

      • shivaskeeper

        No. Mops imply the bodes have already been removed and the clean up is starting. No pictures, no crime scene photos, nothing less than forcing them to see the carnage up close and in person.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Maybe a trip to some war zones wouldn’t hurt either…

          • shivaskeeper

            No. Different thing completely.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Did not mean to imply the scene would be cleared before they show up. They deserve all the carnage.

    • mancityRed6

      I really don’t see that affecting Ryan at all. he’s dead inside.

      • shivaskeeper

        Possibly. But i would still do it.

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          Be sure to have two lid retractors on hand. And a cervical halo frame. And a couple of burly dudes to keep him in one spot.

      • SDGeoff3

        I was going to say…

    • GoutMachine

      This.

  • Anna Rompage

    If there really was a god who cared about humanity, and intervened on behalf of the innocent, and righteous, THERE WOULDN’T BE 9000 CHILDREN ON THIS PLANT, THAT DIE OF FUCKING STARVATION ON A DAILY FUCKING BASIS….

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Their prayers were answered? Were they praying to get shot? Isn’t that a form of suicide, which I believe is a mortal sin?

    • Sometimes facts just get in the way…

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Not just sometimes. It’s all the time for some people.

    • Blackest Noobs

      only with Catholics, Baptists don’t buy into that mortal sins stuff.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I don’t have the right fuckin vocabulary right now to describe how fucked up it is to presume to know what the victims were praying for in order to shill for the NRA.

      Seriously, these people are ignorant goddamned cultists.

  • To paraphrase James:

    14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is weeping because someone just killed their loved ones with a gun. 16 If one of you says to them, “My thoughts and prayers are with you,” but does nothing to comfort them or prevent further violence, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

    • TakingAmes

      I’m… probably going to steal that.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “Just like those who put Christ to death . . .”

    Ha. Toldja it was the Jews.

    • JMP

      But it was the Italians!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Typical anti-European leftist propaganda.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Italian Jews!

          Italians like pasta…the Pastafarians killed Jesus!

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            All right, fine, but besides linguine and garlic bread, what did the Romans ever give to us anyway?

          • timmulherin

            Superbowl identifiers?

    • MynameisBlarney

      The Romans?
      With their multi-cultural military?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Don’t blame the Romans. They wanted to let him go and execute Barrabas.

  • Anna Rompage

    If thoughts and prayers worked, THEN THERE’D BE NO SUCH THING AS CANCER ON THIS FUCKING PLANET!

    I mean seriously, who gets cancer and isn’t inundated with people’s thoughts and prayers?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Also, too, every football team (except the Cowboys) would win every game.

      • SDGeoff3

        Those silly Cowboys.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      The thought-to-prayer ratio was off by a tad…

  • elviouslyqueer

    I can’t even with that pastor or, for that matter, anybody who says that this mass shooting was somehow “God’s will” to release these people from their earthly “torment.”

    I guess these assholes have completely forgotten that whole “Thou Shalt Not Kill” thing that’s in God’s Top 10. And it’s completely odious that these same holier than thou hypocrites actually believe for one second that God was actually somehow okay with 26 people, including a fucking 17 month old, getting stone cold murdered.

    What the entire fuck is wrong with these people?

    • Oblios_Cap

      My knees and back hurt all of the time, but I’m not ready to be released form my painful existence just yet.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        I am. But these people didn’t want to die, big difference.

    • jodyleek

      They are lizards. They no more think about what they are actually saying than a reptile thinks about what rock to crawl on. This reflexive blather is pablum for their masses. Cuts the possible thinking and questioning of their beliefs down to a bare minimum.

    • GoutMachine

      He’d probably have a different tune if one of the dead women was carrying a fetus. That, my friends, would be an unacceptable loss of life. (The fetus, obviously, not the woman.)

      • TakingAmes

        One of them was. A pregnant mother of five (!) was murdered along with three of her children.

        • GoutMachine

          Shit – I hadn’t heard that.

          • cmd resistor

            I think that was the family where 3 generations were among the killed.

    • Paul

      Easy. They’re entirely fucked.

    • james crubb

      I have a theory that as their heaven thing is, by definition, better than life, therefore one is better off dead, therefore they are death worshippers, hence the fuckedupness.

      This also goes some way to explain why we have fucked the planet, who gives a shit about Earth when the best one is when we die.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I happen to know a lot of Catholics — who, unlike Paul Ryan, actually give a shit about poor people — and they don’t just sit around all day praying for poor people to have food or for homeless people to have a place to sleep at night. They feed them. They shelter them.

    I know quite of few of those people, too. It’s like they’re trying to steal Jesus’ job or something.

    • mancityRed6

      or, you know, actually do what they were told to do?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Oh, yeah, right. Like Jesus ever said we’re supposed give handouts to those lazy moochers. Have you even read the bible? I’m a life-long Christian and …

    • SDGeoff3

      These are the people who take “the poor will always be with you” as an endorsement of economic policy. As Al Sharpton once commented brilliantly, “It’s not a comment on economics. It is a lament.”

  • JMP

    Prayer is certainly working well here:

    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/11/mass-shootings-resulting-eight-deaths-usa-since-1950

    Mass shootings resulting in eight or more deaths in the USA since 1950

    1950s: 0
    1960s: 1 (University of Texas tower shooting)
    1970s: 0
    1980s: 6
    1990s: 6
    2000s: 7
    2010s: 12 and counting

    • TJ Barke

      Hmm, I wonder what happened in the 80s… oh yeah, that’s when the NRA went truly bugfuck.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      How come God listens to Wayne LaPierre’s prayers, but not ours?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        It’s like the old WW1 story. A German general tells his men that they are sure to win because they’ve prayed to God for victory. One of his subordinates asks, ‘But haven’t the Russians also prayed to God for victory?’ ‘Yes, but who speaks Russian?’ God obviously only speaks gunhumper.

    • BigCSouthside

      Hmm if you lay that timeline over the evolution of the NRA from sportsman’s safety to gun lobby and the explosion of AR style rifle sales, you might find a correlation

  • Ricky Gay

    Pshaw! Thoughts and prayers are at least as effective as trickle down economics!!!

  • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

    So churches are the ‘Murican version of those Futurama suicide booths?

    • Suttree

      A bit more expensive though.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    I’m seriously starting to believe that the GOP entire, along with sell-swords like Donna Brazile, are in the pay of Russian foreign intelligence and are doing everything they can to destroy our nation from within.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Welcome to the Red Side of the Force.

      • MynameisBlarney

        We have borscht!

        • Oblios_Cap

          and potato juice!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Mmmhmmm…

            Nothing like fresh squozened tater juice.

        • SDGeoff3

          We still serve that stuff?

          • MynameisBlarney

            SHUSH IT YOU!

            And yes. to the noobs!

          • SDGeoff3

            Oh gawd. Wait until those poor noobs find out about what else is in the pantry. I cannot bring myself…

          • MynameisBlarney

            You will serve them ALL that is in pantry, comrade!
            For party and country, da?

          • SDGeoff3

            Da! For party and country. Whether they like it or not, and they damn well better clean their plates!

        • Put On Your War Paint!
        • Yellerduck

          Not canned, is it?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Of course it’s canned!
            We don’t do “fresh” here.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZTNjFxB9OQ&list=PLgA_QpnjZQywhhsQy5fWuWLjDw1jBmMUj&index=87

        This is from a Russian TV show about a Red Army hero of the Russian Revolution. His name was Ivan Chapeyev. His girlfriend with the bangs was a skilled machine-gunner. Her name was Anna.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I don’t think you’re far off from the truth.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      National Russian Association
      Karl and Devid Kochovich
      Comrade Bernard Sandovich
      Tsarina Juliana Steinovich
      CNN BИD presenter, Kristov Cyrilitza
      Pravda journalist Glenn Zelenyymir and cyberhacker Edvard Snowed-in
      Prima Ballerina of the Bullshit Ballet, Susana Sarandovsky

  • Ellie

    Paul….yes, you, boy. I’m a church going Christian, and I wish I could tell you to your face what you can do with your empty truckload of “thoughts and prayers.” Then, when you dump me out of my wheelchair over the cliff, I could die happy.

  • BigCSouthside

    Hey Ryan, you fucking cunt, you want to debate theology and the nature of faith?

    I’ll grab 6 of my atheist friends and you grab 6 pastors and we’ll beat your ass all day everyday in any religious debate.

    • gallbladder

      And Hitchens did smile from on high.

      • Wild Cat

        Hitchens ranted for twenty years that Bill Clinton was a rapist.

        He had wet-brain syndrome from alcoholism. And needed GOP bucks to support his habits.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yeah, Hitchens made some good points, but he was kind of an asshole more often than not.

          • Wild Cat

            He was a total fraud. Americans give British hustlers extra points for sounding British.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I don’t know about him being a total fraud. But the more I learn about him, the less I like him.

          • Wild Cat

            He even lied about his ethnic background. He claimed he was half-Jewish, which his brother said was utter bullshit.

    • Wild Cat

      He’s an atheist. Believe me.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Don’t tell Ayn that.

        • Wild Cat

          Ayn Rand was an atheist. Objectivists are atheists. That includes Paul Ryan.

          I’m sure Obama, having a decent IQ, was an atheist too.

          I am.

          He’s pandering to his morons.

          • Crystalclear12

            Religion- opiate of the masses.

          • Billy Wigglestaff

            Opium is the religion of the masses, and work is the curse of the drinking class!

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            I dunno about Obama; he might have been one of those social-reformist spiritual-but-not-dogmatic “political Christians,” like Jimmy Carter. The black church has for centuries been a haven of activism and camaraderie that had otherwise been stolen from and suppressed among African Americans, which is why it stung so deeply when that little Cecil Rhodes-worshiping prick killed the congregants at the AME. Trudeau too is a Catholic of the Pope Francis variety, which is why both are labeled “communists.” But I don’t think it necessarily follows that member of a particular denomination automatically = asshole. Ryan, like Trump, worships the religion of ego.

          • Wild Cat

            In general, yes, but Obama had a “very white” upbringing. He knew as a politician in the US that he had to have a religion and he may have leaned on his wife to help him do the shopping.

            There are good atheists and bad atheists. There are good religious people and bad religious people.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I don’t know about Obama being an atheist.
            Agnostic, maybe.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            True. I meant that Ryan kneels at the Church of Ayn, a faith-based community whose belief in Mammon outweighs their belief in their neighbor fellow-human.

          • Wild Cat

            We have all been in the Church of Ayn Rand since that dogfucker, Gerald Ford, named Alan Greenspan the head of the Fed.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I won’t say that I was praying for his neighbor to vote the everlasting snot out of him.

      Nope, not gonna say it.

      • anomie

        Me either but if the neighbor had come over with a gun, I wonder if that would’ve personally changed Rand Paul’s mind about gun control.

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Bill Nye, the fact-checker guy!

    • Darlene Underdahl

      People who wear their religion on their sleeve generally aren’t well-read. They see religion as a kind of shortcut. “They have to accept me in church. Someone will get me a job.” The pastors are no different; I think their sermons are canned nowadays. If they can’t control the narrative, they’re easy to stump.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Canned sermons? With or without clams?

        • SpideySenser

          Obligatory … You MONSTER!!!1!!11!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Caption: “With the NRA by your side, every day is The Day of the Dead.

  • george lastrapes

    So we can’t have a sane conversation about guns until the thoughts and prayers are over and done. Why not at the same time? Is it claimed that rationality and prayer are antithetical, that neither ‘works’ in the presence of the other?

  • TJ Barke

    Prayer works about as well as Objectivism.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Religion. Codified, societally sanctioned irrationality.

    • mancityRed6

      honestly, it mainly depends on what people do in it’s name.

  • roberteye

    This is sounding scarily like the running suit guys who committed suicide so they could hop aboard a space ship following the comet Hale-Bopp, and fly to ryan heaven (presumably)… thus they eliminated the psycho with rifle middle man.

    • Put On Your War Paint!

      There was some really weird shit going on there. I think Star Trek did almost become a cult in the 70s, and that the Bo and Ti people were casualties of that.

  • jesterpunk
  • Crystalclear12

    That Federalist prick is the guy telling people they should rejoice their loved one has died at funerals.
    This comment has been edited to comply with commenting rules.

  • Rick Hill

    I was, just this moment, reading about his claim that prayer works. Obviously you degenerated libruls don’t understand how it does. This is clearly an answer to republicans prayers to stay in power with lots of gun hugger’s cash and not have attention drawn to their lack of actual governance and selling off of our rights and our country.

  • Michael Smith

    Excellent, Ryan, frame the choice as one between gun regulations and Jesus. That’ll keep the idiots coming back to your party.

    • gallbladder

      I hear that it was actually Christ who penned the 2nd Amendment.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        No, it was Moses. Everybody knows that.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOJQFNOQqCY

        • Msgr_MΩment

          “YOU BLEW IT UP! AH, DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!”

          • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

            “You’ll tell them, won’t you Justice Roberts? Corporations… are… PEOPLE!!!”

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Yeah, I’m not gonna take my theological advice from a guy who somehow managed to miss all the parts in the New Testament about God not being fond of the rich. You know, like 90% of it.

    Though even now I’m playing his game. Because this is what happens after every mass shooting, the right wing throws out a bunch of bullshit to distract, delay, and derail until the next big thing comes up. Then we’ll all forget about this and move on, our precious guns untouched.

  • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

    I’m not sure who said it, but prayer is like masturbation. It feels good for the person doing it, but does nothing for the person they are thinking about.

  • Suttree

    I have to wait and see what Rod Dreher has to say about this, before I give Hans the award for dumbest motherfucker at the Federalist.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    If by “works” he means that it allows him to pat himself on the back and pretend he made a difference, than yeah I guess it “works.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    It’s a fantastic idea. We can get rid of all those pesky doctors and hospitals and drugs that keep us from meeting our Lord and Savior on time, like was intended.

    • clubseal

      Poor Paul Ryan is also opening the door for an argument perhaps he doesn’t want to have made … for instance, wouldn’t abortion be saving people from every having to experience the horrors of the world as a straight-to-Heaven ticket?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        St Augustine is the one who advanced that argument — abortion condemns the unborn to “limbo,” while suicide (which is self-“murder”) condemns the soul to hell. So Republicans are only OK with infanticide, because at least the “baby” doesn’t have to remain in Diagon Alley the rest of its (after)life. Suffice it to say, though, that none of this is actually in the Bible. It’s just one guy’s interpretation, a guy who has an outsized influence on Christianity because he wrote his polemic immediately following the Sack of Rome. Fun fact: City of God was the first ever instance of what would now be considered a televangelist blaming a terrorist attack on a country’s acceptance of gays and loose women.

        • clubseal

          Better to be condemned to limbo than the Macarena.
          I’ll see myself out.

        • Mormos

          didn’t the catholic church get rid of limbo?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Church of Christ, Anti-Science.

  • Michael Smith

    This is a hilarious gambit by the NRA-purchased GOP. They imply that those who are pushing for gun regulations are doing so because they lack faith in God.

    That would be like saying we don’t need healthcare because God will take care of everyone who really needs it and has faith, and that would just be absolutely unimagin-

    Wait.

    • NastyBossetti

      Don’t give them any ideas!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Michael Smith

      AOT;K?

  • Dude was comparing mass murder in a church to the rapture?

    No wonder free thinkers are on the rise.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I think he was just trying to say that these folks should be glad they got to the eternal movie theater ahead of the crowd, sit they don’t have to sit way up front and strain their necks.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “And, it is the right thing to do, is to pray in moments like this because you know what? Prayer works.”
    He knows it works because that’s how he passed every test he took in school, how he won the elections he won and how Dolt was elected. It sure wasn’t actual scholarship, leadership or qualifications.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Or the Social Security benefits.

    • Rick Hill

      Actually, hard to argue against that….

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        My assumption is that it wasn’t god who answered Ryan’s prayers, but the other guy.

    • cmd resistor

      Works kind of like a vending machine, I guess. Sometimes it works, sometimes you have to call the vendor, sometimes you get your money back, sometimes it doesn’t work but the next guy gets 2 bag of potato chips after you leave.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        That is a lovely analogy! I am going to borrow it, if you don’t mind? Prayer Machines could also be a thing we could market. Put in a dollar, push the button and a recorded voice will say a prayer for you.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    There is an old Russian proverb… “Trust in god, but row for shore.” At least that’s what Sister Iris said in Carnivale.

    • Mormos

      god helps those who help themselves

  • rocktonsam

    Like praying to repeal and replace Obama care. Pauly ?

  • anomie

    Can we just send thoughts and prayers to the rich about their taxes instead of actually giving them huge tax cuts in actual legislation?

  • Ωbjectifier
  • OneYieldRegular

    If all Paul Ryan feels he needs to do is pray, then why the holy f*ck are the American people paying him to work?

    • Sophia

      Work?

  • MynameisBlarney

    If there REALLY was a god with an army of angels ready, willing and able to smite the wicked, you’d think these goddamned charlatans using religion as a weapon would be scared fucking shitless.

    • Lordpnut

      There are exceedingly few honest Christians these days who really understand all its implications. The one I’m most familiar with is Kierkegaard.
      The vast majority simply repeat the words out of convention and convenience

  • Crank Tango
    • Chyron HR

      Accurate but possibly inappropriate in this context?

  • SDGeoff3

    As usual, I’ll read this a few more times because Robyn writes such compelling material, providing inspiration with factual “ammo” that is so useful. Thanks for another great article, Robyn.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    The Victorian scientist Francis Galton made the first statistical analysis of third-party prayer. He hypothesized, partly as satire, that if prayer was effective, members of the British Royal Family would live longer than average, given that thousands prayed for their well-being every Sunday, and he prayed over randomized plots of land to see if the plants would grow any faster, and found no correlation in either case.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Studies_on_intercessory_prayer#Galton

    • JMP

      I would think members of the British Royal Family would live longer than average, as they’re rich and have access to the best health care available, and now that they’re meaningless figureheads they’re no longer constantly assassinating each other.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        They were also kind of in-bred and suffered from hypochondria.

        • theCryptofishist

          And hemophilia…

      • Ghenghis McCann

        But think of all the cold draughty castles and palaces they live in. That’s bound to have an effect.

      • Cosmic Owl

        QEII is gonna live forever. Her mom paved the way.

    • theCryptofishist

      Yeah, stopped clock…

  • SayItWithWookies

    That’s the great thing about faith – it works whether it works or not.

  • Cosmic Owl

    So, if I pray a whole bunch I will never get shot?

    Nah, I prefer folks who should not have a gun not have a gun, first.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • ariel_gee_398

    I didn’t think Christians were supposed to use god as their scapegoat. Learn something new every day…

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Why does Paul Ryan bother pumping iron? Why not just nicely ask God to make him look like The Terminator? Leg day would be so much easier!

  • Yellerduck

    Back in a former life I trained and certified foster parents for a program for kids with behavioral issues. It was the usual course to have at least a few in each class who were motivated by religious convictions who would state that they didn’t need any training because they could just pray for the kids and all would be well. I would then, very somberly, lead the class through a directed scenario. I would have them close their eyes and imagine sitting on a couch. In the next room there was a kitchen with a fully stocked refrigerator. I would ask them to imagine that they were suddenly very hungry. Then I would tell them to pray for a sandwich.

    • gallbladder

      That…is good.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Well, Mr. Ryan, if trickle down economics actually worked shouldn’t we be trickling down our prayers? Pray for the rich and they will pray for their victi…poor?

  • IdiotsforPalin
  • Joe Beese

    In this context, prayer has the supreme advantage of not drying up NRA campaign contributions.

    • Cosmic Owl

      The NRA prefers prayers.

  • FlownΩver

    “Jack Shit” is the name of my new Ted Nugent tribute band.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Isn’t that the same as polishing a turd?

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Would I prefer to be called ‘Jack Shit’ or ‘Ted Nugent’? Decisions, decisions….

      • theCryptofishist

        Polishing a Turd is their first album.

    • Lordpnut

      Do you take requests? “Dog Eat Dog”, please.
      Ok. Bring it on. I can take it.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    When I called my 80-yr-old Aunt Mary in New York City the evening before I evacuated from Hurricane Katrina, she told me “I’m going to my weekly Novena meeting tonight, and we will pray that the hurricane misses you.” And I’m sure she and all the other old Catholic ladies did so, but 24 hours later the hurricane made a last-minute turn to the east and hit my town as if a bullseye had been painted on it, so Aunt Mary’s prayers were obviously counter-productive. I would like to ask her to stop praying for me, but I don’t think she would listen to me, she would simply pray more, and I can’t risk it.

    So according to Paster Fiene, that male nurse who was euthanizing patients in a VA hospital in 1992 and selected my mother as one of the people he wanted to liberate, I should be grateful to him??? Not going to happen.

  • mardam422

    Yes, Paul. Prayer works. It makes us feel better. It lifts our spirits in bad times. It doesn’t bring dead people back to life. And it doesn’t stop the next moron with a gun from killing more people that you will again, pray for.

    Prayer is for church. Congress is for DOING SOMETHING YOU JERKOFF!!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Meth actually seems to work better.
      /speaking for a friend

  • Michael R

    I pray that he’ll make washing clean pans
    in a closed soup kitchen his full time gig

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6597780adf6ca4d92218c3233b9416220a462adffcc8b84f33808b4df5467891.jpg

    • Cosmic Owl

      The thing of it is, Paul Ryan truly is not that smart. He just seems smarter because the rest of the GOP is dumb as a bag of hammers.

      • SpideySenser

        Yet he somehow retains the moniker of “policy wonk”. I’m willing to bet his sneaker size is higher than his fucking alleged I.Q.

    • SpideySenser

      That little stunt right there is about the stupidest thing I have ever had the (non)pleasure of seeing.

    • Dg Hacket

      Washing already cleaned trays

  • Cosmic Owl

    Huh.

    I never knew Congress was actually a church.

    • Anarchy Unicorn

      Me neither, but I do know a bar is just a church where they serve beer.

      • Mormos

        a beer church. i could get behind that

  • Alienist

    Even in the Bible, people did not just pray and do nothing. In Nehemiah 4:9, the jews who were under threat from their surrounding neighbors “prayed to our God and posted a guard day and night to meet this threat.” Where is our guard?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Mormos

      psh, liberals like you would quote a COMMUNIST!

  • dslindc
  • tinker12

    This fking guy wants everyone to die a fugly death because they have no healthcare — https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4560ffeb2d3e7531e71ac165484370ef25822b5e0ddacb37d4860a1c8008c31b.jpg

    • Michael Smith

      “He was always a real bastard. Not surprised,” said an acquaintance.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Please god, stop Paul Ryan before he prays again.

    • Mormos

      AHAHAHAHAHA

      I will remember this forever.

    • GoutMachine

      Yeah, that’s pretty much it, and one of the main reasons I’m a godless heathen now. Prayer certainly didn’t do shit when my father fell ill and then died. “Well, it was God’s will.” Well, then, God’s kind of a dick.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        That circular logic drives me nuts.

  • clubseal

    And we’re all overlooking the conundrum of competing prayers. What if the shooter prays harder that he’ll kill people? What metrics does God use to decide which prayers win? Like maybe a kid’s prayer is only worth half an adult’s prayer, on account of a kid’s contribution to society. Is there a tournament of prayers, where the best compete until a winner is crowned? Maybe there’s a sudden death pray-off for the ones that come out on top?
    Inquiring minds, etc.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      God plays dice. — NotEinstein

      • clubseal

        And he counts cards, the motherfucker.
        – Judas, I’d guess

    • Rick Hill

      Maybe there are more devout Mooslums praying that more christians are shot during worship. For a while it worked the other way with devout christianists praying those Mooslums would be shot or blowed up during their worship. Of course, there was a bit of cheating involved as the christianists also voted for people who helped this out a bit but still….

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      Very simple. Republican math: A brown or black prayer is only worth 3/5 of a white prayer.

    • Lordpnut

      By any rational analysis: unreasonable, arbitrary, and capricious.

      • clubseal

        Sounds like the language you’d use to have a court issue a stay on God’s decisions.

        • Lordpnut

          And about as effective…sad.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    “And when you hear the secular left doing this thing, no wonder you’ve got so much polarization and disunity in this country when people think like that.”

    Canned clamor.

    • SeeTrain65

      Oh, that’s VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY good.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I joke about the latent antisemitism a bit, but realistically, Ryan’s bullshit is scary. I once read a ton of John Birch Society/Father Coughlin/Bradley Foundation literature and two expressions, “secular left” and various iterations of “Christ-killer” come up over and over again in their rants against Jews. It is truly shocking to learn the Speaker of the House in 2017 has internalized those expressions to such a degree that he thinks nothing of using them (albeit relatively innocently) as shorthand for evil.

    • Cosmic Owl

      Anti Semitism rarely surprises me anymore.

      It’s fucking idiotic to blame the world’s ills on a tiny minority, sure.

      The same minorty that gave Christianity Jesus, at that.

      Islam likes Jesus, too – I doubt Paul Ryan knows that bit.

      • gallbladder

        Indeed, I have read that were it not for the Muslims, many of Aristotle’s writings might not ever have survived nor been translated towards founding the basis of Christianity. But don’t tell the right lest ye be deported (or worse.)

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          Interesting to note, it’s because of Jewish workers and union organizers why we have a two-day weekend. Maybe if we were more inclusive of Muslims we’d have Friday off too.

          (sigh) Your move, Canada.

        • keinsignal

          As a tangent to this tangent, if you ever find yourself discussing the movie ‘300’ with a devout right-winger, it might be interesting to mention to them that it was the Persian empire that liberated the Jews from Babylon and re-established them in Jerusalem and its environs. If it hadn’t been for Persia, there would be no Jersualem, no Israel, and no Christianity.

    • Lordpnut

      You are right on the fucking money, and we should not let that shit ride. Anyone who understands the First Amendment and values the concept of religious liberty should be totally KIKED over this.

    • Bad Scooter

      His “secular left” wording stood out to me too. I thought he was trying not to alienate religious democrats, and almost gave him credit for not buying into the “Godless Left” rhetoric that’s become popular with right-wingers.

      Until I read your explanation, which is much more plausible than mine.

  • SO PROUD OF MY SENATOR, CHRIS MURPHY, RIGHT NOW!! He’s on the floor of the Senate, trying yet again, to make the case for stronger gun control. Of course, as he admits, it’s useless, but at least he tries.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      He’s doing the left’s version of “thoughts and prayers”, trying to convince idiots that they are wrong about a thing.

      • Not really. The “thoughts and prayers” stupidity is the way to avoid even talking about doing something. He just showed a detailed list of things that both sides agree about, so let’s get this done. He also talked about the HEINOUS neglect most states (including CT) and the armed forces commit by not regularly updating their criminal lists for the background checks database [we’re looking at YOU, Air Force]. At least he came up with some concrete actions that both sides agree and can act on, while also acknowledging that the good stuff has no chance of passing. That’s more than the equivalent of “thoughts and prayers,” IMO.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          I didn’t intend to belittle the effort or the Senator. You are right to be very proud of him. Speaking truth is necessary, thankless work. I meant to belittle the republican’ts. The equivalence is that while both the Senator’s message and most prayers are very heartfelt, the intended recipients are either uncaring or non-existent.

    • Vincent Ricola

      He’s doing great.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I’m an indecisive agnostic who isn’t going to choose anything unless forced by evidence.

    I believe that shooting people up with guns is wrong. I believe that shooting people up with guns in their place of worship is exceptionally wrong. I’m fairly sure that the gates of Heaven, if they exist, will be closed to the faux-religious dickheads who worship at the alter of weapons and blood money instead of doing everything in their power to save their fellow humans from being murdered with weapons. Fuck Paul Ryan. Fuck the NRA and guns. Fuck murders and the politicians that enable them. Fuck it all.

    /fin

  • OrG

    Hey paulie, your hero was a fucking atheist and I suspect that you are too.

    • Cosmic Owl

      Ayn Rand wrote the shittiest novels imaginable, and most involve the heroine being date raped, then realizing all that was missing from her life was rape. She is grateful for the lesson.

      Ayn Rand was one messed up lady.

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        Ayn Rand = Female L. Ron Hubbard

        • OrG

          L. Ron Hubbard=male ayn rand

          • Daniel

            Ayn Rond Hubbard- why not both?

        • Mormos

          Ayn Rand wrote about brainwashing and rape
          L Ron committed brainwashing and rape

      • SpideySenser

        According (allegedly) to Dorothy Parker, on Ms. Rand’s writing …
        “This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with
        great force.”

        • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

          PBUH.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Want to serve both God and Mammon? Ask me how!

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    I was a Christian for almost 40 years. I prayed God every night to end my fear and pain or to please end my life.

    Prayer never worked. When I accepted myself for who I am, I found the strength to save myself from my abusive family and to make a new life.

    Prayed never worked. Taking action did work.

  • jodyleek

    I’m imagining myself as Jules Winnfield and Paul Ryan as “Brett”…
    “Say ‘secular left’ again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say it one more time!”

    • Cosmic Owl

      And I shall rain down upon your head some holy vengenance!

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Prayers work for Republicans. They provide them anexcuse for doing nothing.

    • gallbladder

      …and votes.

  • jesterpunk

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTgKRCXybSM

    You’re such an inspiration for the ways

    That I’ll never ever choose to be

    Oh so many ways for me to show you

    How the savior has abandoned you

    Fuck your God

    Your Lord and your Christ

    He did this

    Took all you had and

    Left you this way

    Still you pray, you never stray

    Never taste of the fruit

    You never thought to question why

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    One quick thought as we all go out into the other tubes of the internets: I’m agnostic myself, but mocking religiosity and prayer in your response to Ryan is playing into his game. He wants America to divide into our camps over prayer, over religion, anything other than discuss reasonably restricting access to weapons and possibly negatively impact the gun industry’s bottom line.

    • Cosmic Owl

      I just want to remain a secular nation.

      My ancestor John Adams knew religion screws up governance.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        One battle at a time.

    • Michael Smith

      Right, he wants to set it up between “Are you really going to do what the godless liberals who mock Jesus want you to do? Or are you going to do what the people who say that prayer works want you to do?”

  • Anarchy Unicorn

    Damn Missouri Synod Lutherans giving the rest of us science believing peacenik hippie Lutherans a bad name.

    • SDGeoff3

      I was an interim music director for a Misery Synod parish for a year. It was quite a ride. No women in the pulpit. YegadZ.

      • cmd resistor

        When I was a kid, no girl acolytes even. And as I recall, women couldn’t vote at church voter meetings. That changed sometime in my youth but my mom COULD NOT VOTE. A friend and I tried to incite a lightening strike by wearing pants to church and then to communion.
        Yet this Hans guy seems even worse.

        • SDGeoff3

          I met a few Hanses while there. One of them was a pastor who, although he was a real funny hot sketch, wore a cap from NRA, and was very serious about it.

          • cmd resistor

            Yeah, they were probably there. Now that I think of it, people I grew up with in that church are pretty rabid Trump supporters on FB. I’m not FB friends with them, but just ran across them in passing. I really didn’t have much to do with them after going off to college, where I guess I was radicalized to not be that way.

          • SDGeoff3

            My fondest recollection was the day I happened to walk in to a few parish ladies chatting with the Treasurer. I asked to have a moment with him and he said, oh go ahead. We have nothing to hide. And so I said, I really think we should just speak privately. “Oh no. Go ahead, what’s up?”
            I told him that I’d been trying to cash my paycheck for eight business days and there were not funds sufficient to cover it. In fact, the teller kept it the last time I went, half an hour ago. He replied that if I’d had direct deposit it wouldn’t have happened. I saw red and said, “then whose check would be the one to bounce in that case?” Oh, it was pretty. Teh ladeez wuz most upsets.

    • almaalum

      Thank you! I was looking for this comment or I was going to have to post it myself!

    • Jay Hansen

      Have you ventured to Wisconsin?

    • cmd resistor

      I grew up in that synod and that’s how I had a teen rebellion and became a liberal commie.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Always Look on the Bright Side of Death

    • SeeTrain65

      “Just before you steal their terminal breath.”

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    The snake oil is working!! I FEEL BETTER ALREADY!!

    A half-ass “leader” said some half-ass platitudes! I TOTALLY AM REASSURED ABOUT THE CHAOTIC UNCONTROLLED NATURE OF THE UNIVERSE BECAUSE A LITTLE WEASEL MOUTFARTED SOME EMPTY PHRASES APPEALING TO MY SENSE OF FAITH!

    Look, pray all you want to get solace and understanding when an awful event befalls you or your loved ones. If that’s what drives you, then that’s where “prayer works.”

    But this Paul Ryan motherfucker, he’s been put into a position of power to come up with real world solutions to real world problems. People elected him to a position to get things done. There’s a reason every human organization of any handful of humans on this planet elects leaders: to get things done.

    You weren’t elected Pope, fuckface. You’re no goddamn faith leader. You’re not even inspiring as a half-ass mouthfart wordsmith. The people should expect more from you than just telling them to run along and whisper implorations at the void and everything will be just dandy. Fuck this useless garbage.

    • cmd resistor

      I’m thinking the “Thoughts and Prayers” is getting old so thought maybe a little variety
      “Platitudes and Prayers”
      “Thoughts and Platitudes”
      “Thoughts and Banalities”
      “Thoughts and Inane Statements”
      Oh, I give up.

  • nightmoth
    • Michael Smith

      What liberal nut said that?

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        One of the two Corinthians, I think. The other one was Paul. But there may also have been a George and Ringo.

  • mrFawkes

    Three hollow, empty, useless words:
    Thoughts and prayers.
    It’s the social media cliché du jour from those wishing to appear moved without actually moving, those who want to feel good about feeling bad without any real response. Most often those who champion guns over people don’t extend gestures like this to comfort victims’ families, they do it to publicly relieve themselves of culpability. They do it because that’s a heck of a lot easier than just about anything else. They do it because that’s all they think they’re required to do.

  • William

    Well? Lets look at this logically. There have been an awful lot of shootings and an awful lot of praying…and the shootings have stopped? slowed down? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c3d1080a3bcdc6e1cc9c0e20dbdecb07fe83b738751382854d858110283053a3.gif

  • Mavenmaven

    Prayer does work upon the people- as an opiate?

  • Daniel

    “And I know you believe that and I believe that,” Ryan told Ingraham about the effectiveness of prayer.

    Paul Ryan also believes in trickle down economics, that Ayn Rand was a talented writer and a heavyweight philosopher.

  • William
  • Daniel

    “And, it is the right thing to do, is to pray in moments like this because you know what? Prayer works.”
    “That’s why I’m going home in my rocket car to my solid gold house, where I shall sleep on a big pile of money with many beautiful ladies.”

  • ariel_gee_398

    So if a poor, unemployed person just wants to rely on prayer to help them find a job, they should still get Medicaid and welfare, right? Because prayer is literally the only thing they can do to help themselves?

  • Boojum

    “God was answering their prayers.”

    Yeah, that’s true for everyone who believes that God answers prayers by saying, “Fuck off and die, will you?”

  • freakishlypersistent

    Righteous words from an asshole who delivers such cruel budgets even the Catholic church is horrified . At least the secular far left believes in helping the sick and feeding the poor. Who falls for this shit?

  • mardam422

    What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? James 2:14.
    Fuck you Paul.

  • Oh, please. If prayer actually worked, then how is Donald Trump president?

    • Mavenmaven

      SATAN

      • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

        “No way. You Mammonists own this guy.” -Satan

      • Mormos

        satan is competent. he couldn’t have had anything to do with the donald.

  • FZsdaughter

    So being shot to death while at church is the new black, eh? Got it.

  • pgjack

    Prayer works to give comfort to those doing the praying and that’s about it. Throughout history people facing terrible fates have prayed to more gods than we know of to no avail. Genghis Khan still slaughtered them, modern nations still bombed them and the plagues still brought them miserable deaths. Paul Ryan and all the others that think praying does anything but sooth the mind of those doing the praying are either stupid, brain washed or trying to avoid taking action. In Ryan’s case was well as any other leader in our government it is the latter. Gun companies and NRA members bring in campaign contributions and show up at primary elections and that is the reason Paul Ryan prays rather than acts. He’s as much a part of the problem as the gun sellers and the shooters.

    • OrG

      Or lying. You forgot lying.

    • Jay Hansen

      Prayer is just fine as long as you don’t limit yourself to it.

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    Perhaps we should start a Crowdfunding campaign to buy Pink AR-15 equivalents for Women and Queers to Open-carry?

    I’d bet the God-botherers of the GOP would see a need to regulate Assault rifles after that..

    • BigCSouthside

      Nah. Gotta have black people carry. They want to subjugate women and queers. They are afraid of black people.

      • William

        That brings up a point. How come the NRA isn’t pushing black people to arm themselves?

        • BigCSouthside

          See my above statement. Guns are for whites to protect their families from the black and brown hoardes.

          Notice how they didn’t do shit for philando Castile who did exactly what a responsible gun owner was supposed to do?

  • Daniel

    Won’t all you libs feel stupid when those people that got shot recover because of prayer!!

  • Daniel

    Has anyone ever mentioned what they’re actually praying for?

  • Mavenmaven

    And of course, only white people’s prayers count. From the right kind of churches.

  • Daniel

    “And, it is the right thing to do, is to pray in moments like this because you know what? Prayer works.”

    It does.

    It does work.

    Assuming the outcome you want is to feel like you’ve achieved something and helped in some way without actually doing anything that inconveniences you at all, then it has definitely worked. It provides a warm feeling of inner pride and it takes almost no effort at all. It works.

    • Bebecca

      As an atheist I want to say “no I’ll just cross my fingers and the outcome will be the same”.

  • Ling Ling

    Why wait to be murdered in a church to achieve your dreams of eternal paradise? Step right up to the 1st Church of Bender sponsored suicide booths!

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      That part bothers me too. Those people didn’t want to die. But for those of us who do, nope, sorry, we can’t legalize humane aid in dying because it’s sinful?

      It’s all about control-freakishness with these people. Fuck them.

      • Ling Ling

        I like you. Yes, fuck ’em.

    • NotALiar

      “Last time you went to the suicide booth, you ended up dating it for six months”
      “How is Lynn, by the way?”
      “Living in Oregon with her crazy mother.”

  • IdiokraticKulturKommissar

    Did you know, Paul Ryan, that you can now buy a nice card and write down your personal thoughts and prayers to send to the victims of mass murder by AR-15? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b8c3fa3235be57fdd3ff215a8332d2ec62cfb05e02ea26b5e974f2fd8efc664f.jpg

    • 🍁 Girl Guide Salute 🖖🏻

      When you care enough to send the very worst.

    • Jay Hansen

      Jeff Stahler had the same idea today.

    • gallbladder

      The inscriptions on the inside all read, “Heard you died today.”

    • cmd resistor

      Ok, just posted that one on FB.

  • Edith Prickly

    FUCK YOU PAUL RYAN, you Ayn Rand-addled chickenshit NRA-fellating mediocre white man who failed your way to the top. You’re a complete disgrace to the position you hold.

    • Jay Hansen

      Sphincter of the House of Reprehensibles.

    • BearGHAZI

      Since his predecessors include Hastert and Gingrich, not sure if he’s a COMPLETE disgrace… yet

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Beaufighter

    Know what else might work, Ryan? If you’d go and fuck yourself after you cash NRA checks. Couldn’t hurt.

  • NotALiar

    God we are a dumb fucking country

    • WeaselPoo

      As far as I can tell, US American dumb-fuckery has been and is, God’s plan.

  • Doug Langley

    Someone should tell Ryan that thoughts and prayers are all you need to repeal health care and cut taxes, and you shouldn’t bother with anything else.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • OrdinaryJoe

    You want my thoughts and prayers Ayn Ryan?

    “Dear God, please remove that man from office. He is an idiot and not able to understand the beauty and grace of your divine wisdom. For the sake of all the innocents who depend on you, please act as soon as possible.” “PS: Thanks for your small step in dealing with Ayn Rand Paul.”

  • Mavenmaven

    On other words, the Right goes kumbaya to protect guns over people.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Once again, we are allowing the Right to frame the conversation. Suddenly we’re not talking about solutions to the problem, or even what the problem is, but about the efficacy of prayer, and whether the secular left even prays (a conversation we can’t win), and how the left is telling people they’re not allowed to pray.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      #ReclaimTheConversation

  • MynameisBlarney
  • JohnBull

    Like when Paul Ryan writes budgets that literally takes food out of babies’ mouths, he’s preparing them for a quick passage to paradise from an evil world. Jim Jones thought the same thing.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    By that logic, Rand Paul’s broken ribs is just God’s way of reminding him to trim the hedges.

    • Jon Sussex

      Or get rid of the bush.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I’ve already commented on this post, but I’m so incensed about it that I’m back. Paul Ryan should not be allowed to get away with these comments. He needs to be pressed hard as to how his “prayers” “work,” and why, if this is all one needs to do, we still continue to have mass firearms slaughters in this country. And he needs to address Trump’s comments about mental health being the sole problem, and let us know about all the work Congress is doing to boost mental health services directly as they relate to gun violence. And then he should be asked about it again and again.

  • empf

    Faith without deeds is no faith. Ask The Pope or read the bible. My sister is a former Catholic turned Baptist. She lives her faith and would be the first to say prayer is not enough to address suffering.

  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    Prayer works.

    “I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted it.”

    Look at Paul Ryan, trying to abscond with real people’s faith and use it as a bludgeon against other Americans. All in service of protecting the profits of gun salesmen.

    Is that not utterly ridiculous?

    • Christopher Story

      It’s a patriotic Christian, you Godless heathen. Real Americans(TM) understand.

    • Flashman

      Maybe the gun lobby prays for Paul Ryan. In which case, you would have to admit that prayer is, indeed, powerful.

  • keinsignal

    “Pray in one hand, piss in the other, see which one fills up first.”

  • azeyote

    i hope whatever prayers that are squirming around in that worm infested head of Ryan don’t ruin this country –

  • Most of these Evangelical types believe in the doctrine of sola fide, salvation by works just isn’t their bag.

    Of course, Ryan is a Catholic, so he can eat a bag of dicta if he thinks prayer alone is sufficient.

  • proudgrampa

    God is people’s excuse for not doing anything.

    Ryan? Bless his heart, the little shitweasel.

  • Courser_Resistance

    As someone who is not entirely clear on *what* exactly I believe, I could write an entire treatise on what basic compassion and empathy looks like on a day to day basis.

    If you have never given even a few coins to a homeless person, freely, without judgement, or a pair of gloves or a hat or anything else, DIRECTLY, you are not a true Christian. You are an Xtian.

  • Ruhe

    I’m glad he’s taken this stance. I hope every Republican in America, especially the Catholics, heard it.

  • PubOption

    Ryan goes on ‘The Ingraham Angle’, is obtuse.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Also too, imaginary.

    • cmd resistor

      Seems like her show is turning into a real scourge.

  • Me not sure

    Professions of faith and sympathy for others is liable to get one kicked out of The Ayn Rand Objectivist Fun-Time Club. Turn in your John Galt decoder ring, Mr. Ryan.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    The best way I know to avoid being shot in church is to not go to church. Pray at home. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20 This will also save you a lot of money, especially after the GOP tax bill removes your tithing donation.

  • MAZS

    Nor does he provide any examples. Please cue me when prayers grow a leg on an amputee.

    • Christopher Story

      But when science does it, it’s a Satanic machination contrived to turn you from the true path of righteousness and deliver you unto eternal damnation and hell fire.

      • MizzMazz

        Interesting how Satan’s stuff actually works.

        • Christopher Story

          That IS interesting. Something else interesting? It’s the God of Love (1 John 4:8) that’s going to genocide the majority of humanity from off the face of the Earth at Armageddon to prove how much he loves us.

  • Christopher Story

    If prayer was an invention on shark tank, it’s creators would be laughed out of the boardroom.
    “This is prayer.”
    “What does it do?”
    “Anything you want it to!”
    “How?”
    “It just works, ok?”
    “Do you have any proof? Can you demonstrate what it can do right here, right now?”
    “No…”
    “Then what are you trying to sell us?”
    “Hopes and dreams?”
    “…Get out.”

  • Johnnymoreno

    That could be a cute fox segment: ‘Top 10 Best Places To Be Murdered’

  • Run2Live
    • clubseal

      Holy shit I love that.

    • bbayliss

      A little perspective?

      • Run2Live

        We don’t know what we don’t know?

        • bbayliss

          Hell, we don’t even know what we think we know.

          • Run2Live

            Also, chances are we’re not alone.

          • james crubb

            I would like some for non-crazy life to exist but really our sky should be awash with ET electromagnetic waves.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      LOL. The payoff was perfect.

    • Msgr_MΩment
      • The Wanderer

        “‘Ere, can we ‘ave yor liver, then?”

      • Naytch

        Should have scrolled down further!

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    We can haz Rapture already, dammit?

  • AntrimCycle
  • Gorillionaire

    Paul Ryan is a chunk of excrement.

    • bbayliss

      With corn, Wisconsin corn.

  • bbayliss

    “In another of the study’s findings, a significantly higher number of the patients who knew that they were being prayed for — 59 percent — suffered complications, compared with 51 percent of those who were uncertain. The authors left open the possibility that this was a chance finding.” The author? Dr. Benson, who in his work has emphasized the soothing power of personal prayer and meditation.
    When the numbers don’t work they claim chance! irony is dead. “But they said that being aware of the strangers’ prayers also may have caused some of the patients a kind of performance anxiety.” Payer can make things worse?
    http://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/31/health/31pray.html

  • Flashman

    Well, judging by their murder rates, just about every country in the civilized world must be doing a whole lot better praying than the USA.

    • GoutMachine

      And they’re all godless heathens!

  • Rickyphoo

    There are many out there who actually believe in prayer. I, personally, think they are deluding themselves, but at least they honestly believe.

    Then there are people like Ryan. They, like Ryan, are simply pandering to the true believers, to control them so they can worship their real gods, power and wealth.

    • bbayliss

      While we can expect nothing but hypocrisy from Ryan, those that “honestly believe” are a real threat to themselves and others.

  • Blanche de Shambles
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Dude, do you even hablar?

  • Nockular cavity

    Weirdly enough, they don’t recommend prayer when the murders are Muslim. Who can explain it?

  • bbayliss

    Science!
    “What we find when we look at all the studies of intercessory prayer is the type of scatter of results we would expect from a null intervention – one with no effect at all.”
    https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/the-power-of-faith-and-prayer/

  • undercover epicurean

    If the USA mental gymnastics team doesn’t bring home the gold from Tokyo 2020, it’s surely because the russkies bribed the judges.

  • GoutMachine

    “Tell me, Congressman, precisely why these 26 people’s right to life is less important than gun ownership.”

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      “Because freedom isn’t free. Or something.”

    • Gussie Jives

      Because tree of liberty mumble mumble…….

  • Nockular cavity

    One little question, though: if you truly believe that only prayer works, then, pray tell, WHAT THE UNHOLY FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN POLITICS?

    • Wookie Monster

      Because Jesus wants the 1% to have a huge tax cut.

  • Wookie Monster

    Prayer must work. How else could a spineless douche of a randroid like Paul have risen to the point where he’s in the perfect position to fulfill his lifelong dream to completely fuck the middle class if not by divine intervention?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well-placed bribes?

      • subatomic

        Millions of willfully ignorant?

      • Lordpnut

        Straight up fucking treason

    • the_steamer

      Well, there’s fuckery. Can’t forget the role of fuckery in creating a minority rule

    • Gussie Jives

      There must be something in the Janesville water.

  • SDGeoff3

    I thought I was ready for the thoughts and prayers shit. I enjoy reminding the TP crowd that these people were praying at the time they were dispatched.

  • the_steamer

    I’ll be DAMNED if I’m gonna let Congress deny my GOD GIVEN right to a shootout on a quiet Sunday morning

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Bullets, then brunch, then sportsball, all as ordained On High.

      • the_steamer

        Better not be any kneeling!

        • Lordpnut

          Nice.

  • Jonny On Maui

    this is what you’ll get from the far secular left. People who do not have faith, don’t understand faith

    I’m secular. Hell, I’m an atheist. I do understand faith and I have faith. I’m sure if there’s anything to do to ease human suffering, I have faith that Mr. Ryan will do nothing.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Faith? That’s a proven certainty!

  • Jenny

    I’m praying that the sound when Ryan pulls his head out his ass is heard round the world.

    Also too, I’m praying for our politicians to pass real gun restrictions.

    Let’s see which prayer is answered first!

  • cmd resistor

    I am sick of these sanctimonious assholes talking about the secular left. And dirtbags like Pat Robertson talking about the spiritual sickness of our nation, but only the sick lefties are sick and cause death and shit. Some of the most lefty people I know are quite religious, but like your Catholic friends, they do something about shit.

    • Gussie Jives

      And notice how they flip the script on “the secular left” so deftly. Every time there’s a gun massacre perpetrated by a non-Muslim (because if it’s a Muslim, then it’s the religion that’s the problem, natch /s), the first thing they say is “leftist Democrat shoots up place!”

      But wait a minute, which side of the political argument has all the gun humpers on it? Aren’t you the folks that claim that “leftists” are crybabies who are triggered by microaggressions and need safe spaces? That is when we’re not Antifa supersoldiers out to behead white people with… clubs, I guess, however that works.

      So I guess we hate guns, but buy them to shoot up random people for the purposes of false flag attacks to ban guns… so that we can live in our safe spaces and persecute conservatives with our dangerous Antifa clubs. Have I broken the code?

  • Robyn Ryan

    Never give a sucker an even break.

  • Tom65

    These people were in church, praying, when they were shot. Maybe I’m missing something here.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Sanctimonious. Fucking. Asshole. I get down on my knees every day and I pray. I pray that an Old Testament God will send Paul Ryan and the rest of these NRA-teat-sucking monsters straight to Old Testament Hell.

  • anon_the_great

    Prayer works

    No. No, it doesn’t. Especially when your flavor of Xianity has devolved into Death Cult.

    • bbayliss

      Science
      “What we find when we look at all the studies of intercessory prayer is the type of scatter of results we would expect from a null intervention – one with no effect at all.”
      https://sciencebasedmedicin

  • bbayliss

    Science!
    “What we find when we look at all the studies of intercessory prayer is the type of scatter of results we would expect from a null intervention – one with no effect at all.”
    https://sciencebasedmedicin

  • capnkrunch

    BJFCOAS
    (For those of you not in the know: Black Jesus Fucking Christ On A Stick)

  • Red Richmond

    Oh go absolutely fuck yourselves raw through the eye sockets Paul Ryan, Hans Fiene, and any other half vegetative dunderfucks nodding along blindly to this toxic babyshit of an idea.

    If you really think it’s so great a church full of children and their families got involuntarily sent to the great beyond, you fuckers should be the very next to pick up one of His Instruments of divine and holy deliverance and prayer-answering and send your own self righteous asses off to be with Him as well.

    Tell you what Paul, you sanctimonious sack of chickenshit, I am going to send you some very specific prayers for what you should do with your smug fuckface. I’ll even send them all the rest of the month in case you need the extra volume to get through your thick stupid skull! You say that prayer just works, so here’s your chance to prove it, or once again demonstrate how voracious of a lying cock-juggling thundercunt you are.

  • The Wanderer

    If prayer had any efficacy, certain people would have been turned into pillars of salt a while back.

    “God can be compared to a surgeon, who breaks his own children’s legs in order to demonstrate his skill at bone-setting.”
    — Pierre Bayle

  • anon_the_great

    Laura Ingram needs to be extradited to Kazakhstan, perhaps Somalia, somewhere where her fascism can have a free reign.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Renditioned, not extradited.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      As if Somalia didn’t have enough problems!

  • richardgrabman

    Cardinal Chaput, who is in the “thoughts and prayers” biz made a statement yesterday to the effect that people might be able to save their prayers for other things if there were better gun laws and mental health care.

  • Me The People

    So if the world were to be consumed in nuclear fire, would it be a punishment for not praying enough, or the reward for all our prayers? Fuck this insanity.

    • wait! what?

      No.

      Nuclear Fire is God’s way of creating Nuclear Furniture. It’s His way of telling us to listen to more Jefferson Starship.

  • Randy Sattazahn

    Since Paul Ryan thinks thoughts & prayers are an adequate substitute for actual legislation, perhaps he should go back to Janesville and just think & pray about a big tax cut for the rich.

  • armed_bears

    Prayer works, but not as well as Kevlar.

    • wait! what?

      Prayer in Kevlar is right out!

      Once you take a knee you’re a sitting duck until you can grunt your way to your feet and jog to safety.

  • Me The People

    Ken Levy, on facebook:

    If somebody said that we should fight pollution with much more pollution, we’d think they’re stupid and ignorant and walk away.

    If somebody said that we should fight opioid addiction by making
    opioids much cheaper and more available, we’d think they’re stupid and
    ignorant and walk away.

    If somebody said that we should fight
    terrorism by creating even more terrorists, we’d think they’re stupid
    and ignorant and walk away.

    If somebody says that we should fight
    rampant gun violence by arming everybody in every situation, they’re
    stupid and ignorant. So just walk away.

  • willi0000000

    if i was a believer, i would have given up on prayer a long time ago . . . i mean, look at the result . . . for 99.999999999% of prayers, the answer is . . . NO!

    • Run2Live

      And the other 0.000000001% is dumb luck.

      • willi0000000

        Bingo!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      God has a habit of distributing answers to prayers with a perfectly statistical distribution. You can prove this by praying for heads when you flip a coin. Half the time, God has other plans, and is working in mysterious ways.

      • willi0000000

        ineffable*

        * see: Good Omens by Sir Pterry & Neil Gaiman.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          And Ryan is un-F-able.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    Cutting right to the punchline:

    “I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?”

    God, if she exists, helps those who help themselves. And if we cut down on the number of mass murders by sensible gun laws, we’ll have more prayer time for ending world hunger (which we, as Americans, also only pray about rather than do anything practical).

    • wait! what?

      “I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you want?”

      I imagine that would be Donald’s response to an International Space Station disaster, too…

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Space boats! I sent them! The best space boats and helicopters! The Best. Classy! Yuuuge!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          “The ISS is surrounded by space. Big space.”

  • ltmcdies
  • willi0000000

    i don’t care if someone else has posted it already . . . it bears repeating

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c5034e11b7858c9dd89a38be904e4fde2ac6512b6c846de51850c27857d2b67.jpg

  • calliecallie

    Has Ken Burns done a documentary on Guns in America yet?

    Ken, if you’re reading, maybe you should think about it. Just saying.

    • Cubanz

      Michael Moore kinda did that already, no?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Ken is too much into “both sideism” for me and I’d bet that his documentary would have a strong emphasis on southern views of gun ownership. I’d like to see him try it but I’m not convinced I’d be happy with the result. But I’m biased, also too.

  • cmd resistor

    So WAPO has some more details on this shooter guy’s history:
    The gunman who opened fire in a church outside San Antonio, killing at least 26 people, escaped from a mental health facility in 2012 after he was caught sneaking guns onto an Air Force base and “attempting to carry out death threats” made against military superiors, according to a police report.
    The report said that officers with the El Paso, Tex., police were dispatched to a bus terminal after Devin P. Kelley‘s escape from a behavioral facility about seven miles away in New Mexico. Officers wrote that they were told Kelley, who intended to take a bus out of the state, “was a danger to himself and others” at the time and noted that he “was also facing military criminal charges.”

    • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

      “…he was caught sneaking guns onto an Air Force base and “attempting to carry out death threats” made against military superiors”

      Oooohhh, I bet they took a pissy tone about that one…

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        So they boot this gun-humping psycho out into the civilian world, declare him “not our problem”, and expect that everything will be just fine?

        • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

          “That’s not an MP, that’s a YP.”

    • BearLeft

      … thus proving, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the utility of prayer is the only recourse …

  • BearLeft
  • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

    Think they’d apply this same argument to abortion? Nah…

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Prayer works to keep the dumbfuck fundies distracted from the real issues. Not hard to see why the GOP is so fucking “religious”.

  • Gussie Jives

    Yeah, well crap in one hand and pray in the other and feel which one fills up first, Paul.

  • Royal Ugly Dude

    You cannot petition the lord with prayer
    – J. Morrison

    • BearLeft

      Holy shit, that takes me back …

    • Cubanz

      What have they done to the earth?
      What have they done to our fair sister?
      Ravaged and plundered and ripped her and bit her
      Stuck her with knives in the side of the dawn
      And tied her with fences and dragged her down
      – J. Morrison

  • James Baskin

    Every time I pray for rain, it rains. Eventually. See…… prayer works.

  • james crubb

    I keep praying that Kylie Minogue will accept my invite to Parliament’s (a great Adelaide restaurant), no go so far. I guess this god thing of his doesn’t listen to an atheist.

    What’s wrong with heaven? Too many nutjobs.

  • BearLeft

    Hey, here’s an idea, Paul, buddy: Why don’t you leave the poor the few crumbs they get under the current tax code, and just pray for the wealthy. According to you, that ought to work just fine: Enlist God’s help in fucking the poor!

  • Joel T Sprecher

    Evil retard Paul Ryan thinks invisible, old, bearded, white man in sky will take care of us. Good luck w/that.

  • Relativicus

    “Now, as I am far from the first to point out, this shooting literally happened in a church. A church where, one would assume, people were praying.”

    Ah-haaaaa, but were they praying to not get shot while praying?

    • therblig

      probably praying for next week’s lottery numbers, or more likely, good health because they can’t get insurance.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Il Douche may have blindly stumbled upon a grain of truth, before proceeding to advocate precisely the wrong response to it.

    Because I’ve been thinking that terrorists, like our Texas nutjob, are first and foremost fucked in the head, and that ISIS then comes along (quite deliberately) with an excuse to do what they’re already pre-disposed to do. Normal people don’t “get radicalized”; it’s deeply disturbed sociopaths who think that the message makes sense, and that mass murder is an excellent way to advance the cause.

    This article, weirdly, demonstrates precisely the opposite of what its headline says: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/trump-calls-attackers-deranged-mental-health-link-weak-50972471

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    Paul Ryan’s version of god requires the assistance of CINO (Christian In Name Only) GOP legislators to craft hundreds of bills on how to micromanage women’s reproductive organs, but doesn’t require any legislative assistance on gun control. I’m not very impressed with his god.

  • MamaBrown

    “And when you hear the secular left doing this thing, no wonder you’ve got so much polarization and disunity in this country when people think like that.”

    “I mean, if only they all thought exactly the same as I do. Wouldn’t this crazy world be a better place? I sure think so!”

  • Scribe57

    How dare anyone suggest that Christians really don’t know exactly what some kind of sky god who is his own father and his own son thinks about who we sleep with and other important social matters?

  • gshenaut

    You have to admit, prayer does work as well as most other actions people take when bad things happen, like going on line and bitch a lot, or drinking a large amount of alcohol and puking all over your shirt. For some reason, people take comfort in futile actions, so I personally have no real problem with praying. That said, if you do something futile such as praying or getting black-out drunk instead of doing something non-futile like passing better gun control laws or making sure that the current laws are used to their full extent, then more fool thou art.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Especially if you ridicule the call for non-futile action as demeaning the futile action.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Now, as I am far from the first to point out, this shooting literally happened in a church. A church where, one would assume, people were praying. That did not appear to stop Devin Patrick Kelley from shooting them.

    You’re being too literal, Robyn. Ryan didn’t mean that “prayer works to keep people from getting shot.” He meant “prayer works to appease people so they won’t ask politicians like me to pass sane gun laws.”

  • Hither and Yawn

    Random people should start approaching these elected asshats and offer their “thoughts and prayers” to see their reactions.

  • Stephanie Rakowski

    Seems “God helps those who help themselves” is only applicable when you’re talking about “Lazy Poor People”.

  • Poly_Ester

    But, but, but — Prayer has been so effective in getting Trumps’s agenda through Congress!

  • guest
  • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

    When Paul Fucking Ryan is able to sell your God back to you with parts missing (“help the least of us,” “Thou shalt not kill,” “Judge not” etc.) for the low price of voting Republican, you need to ask yourself whether or not you really know your God that well, and maybe you want to double check the return address on the prayers you’re sending out?

    • BearLeft

      Right the fuck on!

  • marxalot

    Ryan doesn’t seem to understand either “grace” or “works.”
    And while prayer is an effective meditative act to center the self, it is not in fact a corrective action against suffering or injustice.
    In other words? If there is a God, She already gave you every damn thing you need. Go out there and do something with it, you poltroon.

    • Hardly Ideal

      I seem to recall reading somewhere that faith without deeds is nothing.

  • Thorn Spike

    Prayer obviously doesn’t work, because Ryan is still Speaker.

  • Viktor

    Prayer works, just make sure to wear full body armor and pray behind bullet proof glass. The only way to prevent dying from a bullet is to avoid bullets. Paul Ryan, God bless you

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Ryan probably owns a handgun, but he had “Jesus never fails” engraved on the barrel.

  • cmd resistor

    This has to be the worst account of that shooting I have seen yet. Fuck you Paul Ryan. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/survivors-texas-massacre-recalls-moments-gunman-entered-church-article-1.3616562

  • Trump’s Potemkin Village

    In an interview with Fox News’s Laura Ingraham on Monday, Paul Ryan
    lamented the tendencies of the “secular left” to dismiss calls for
    “thoughts and prayers” after mass shootings, in favor of discussing
    actual legislation that might do something to prevent them.”

    I’ll take “secular left” over “fake Christian asshole” any day, Paul Ryan.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Word. Christians help their fellow man because sky father tells them to. The “secular left” helps their fellow man because nobody else will.

  • John Thorstensen

    My favorite way to spend an evening is to put on my slippers, curl up with some nice hot herbal tea, and watch Laura Ingraham interview Paul Ryan.

    Well, that, and repeated projectile vomiting.

  • SDGeoff3

    If I may be so bold, may I suggest that thoughts and prayers are aggravating the situation?

    • mary5920

      I’m up thumbing because that’s exactly what they’re doing. Their thoughts and prayers are all about continuing greed and wanton violence because their god is money and power.

      • SDGeoff3

        I couldn’t agree more.

  • Liquid Tomato

    God helps those who take no concrete steps to improve the situation.

    • SDGeoff3

      Seems that way. Good one.

  • Mark Harper

    Thoughts, prayers, guns and money. Stir and bake for 30 minutes. It’s like a recipe for how to make an ignorant republican. Delicious, especially later in the summer.

    • therblig

      i prefer staking them out in the sun and making republican jerky. well, jerkier.

  • mary5920

    Grr.
    Prayers without works are dead prayers. Actions are also prayers. That dude don’t understand shit.

  • Lefty Wright

    Unfortunately, so many guns are in circulation that it will take years for a significant drop in firearm murder rates due to tighter background checks and limits on ammo and accessories but if we never start we will never see any effect. There were major push backs against auto safety regulations and law going back to at least the 1950s. Too expensive, unproven technology, or it just cannot be done, said the auto industry. But by mandating safety improvements in cars and roads, the death rate per 100 million miles travelled in the U.S. dropped from 7.24 in 1950 to 4.74 in 1970 to 1.18 in 2016.

    Making guns safer, restricting purchases of guns and ammunition more appropriate to a battlefield than a neighborhood or field in the U.S., passing safe storage laws, and keeping guns out of the hands of people not entitled to possess a firearm will eventually reduce murders, suicides, accidents (which are usually not accidental), and life changing injuries in this country. It can be done.

    • Mark Harper

      Great post. 100% true. It’s obvious that with so many millions of guns in circulation, change won’t come fast or easy. But it CAN come. Fewer guns DOES mean fewer gun-related deaths. It just DOES. Despite what the NRA and their money-loving GOP rodents say.

    • Hardly Ideal

      I would’ve gone with the “seize the guns and melt them into rebar” option, but I’ll take anything beyond prayers at this point.

      • Vavoline Marie Johnson

        Sure, and use it to help built trump his wall

        • Hardly Ideal

          Or maybe just build a wall around Trump.

    • richardgrabman

      We (in Mexico) were able to bring down our murder/suicide rate by simply limiting ammo sales (consumers can only buy ammunition for weapons not reserved to th military, and only in limited quantity), even before the much stricter regulations on sales (only though the Army-run gun shop) went in. That is, until the US Automatic Weapons Ban expired and the murder rate … uh… shot up.

  • Alex Grey

    OK, if prayer works, then I will pray for sensible gun control legislation.

    • Patrick Clifton

      I pray that all people who have Pauls attitude be given a permanent forebrain shampoo.

  • TundraGrifter

    I was driving a few hours to and from an inspection today so I tuned into right wing radio. Speaker Ryan was “interviewed” by Boss “I wasn’t wrong; I was misinformed” BlunderRush. Mr. Ryan admitted the Republican proposal to “sunset” tax breaks for corporation and other people in the US of A who desperately need welfare assistance was a ruse, a ploy, a scam to permit the tax bill to be “revenue neutral” long enough for it to pass Congress with a simple majority vote. He flat out said the Republicans would never let those loopholes expire – HE SAID IT! This is just another GNoP chicane.

  • SeeTrain65

    “Let Us Prey.” – NRA/GOP Alliance

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5vLbgQ9rws

  • McMema6

    Then prayer should work for abortion and they wouldn’t have to legislate the hell out of women’s bodies.

  • Hardly Ideal

    From the ever-quotable Eternal Darkness:

    May your faith protect you, Brother Luther, for that is all you have.
    Church custodian, moments before being slaughtered by a Lovecraftian monster

  • Thomas McCabe

    I had the very same reaction when I read that Lutheran bellend’s article. Why do we prosecute murderers when they are doing God’s work? In your country you execute them for performing this blessed work. Was Ted Bundy a martyr because he sent all those women to Jesus and then was electrocuted for his trouble?
    If God wanted those poor Texans that badly couldn’t He just rapture them away? Why subject them to terror, pain, blood? The only way it works is if God is a psychopath delighting in people’s agony.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      It’s a product of the theology that says that Jesus had to die for the sins of the world because god wanted to do it that way, but Judas is a frickin’ bastard evildoer for getting the ball rolling.

  • amrak63

    The only thing I can say about that moronic Lutheran preacher is “Father, forgive him; he knows not what he does.”

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Oh, he knows, that’s for sure. That’s the theology that was drummed into him.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I sometimes wonder why Satan doesn’t have more followers. I mean, I get that it’s all horrific shit and all, but when the guy decides to do something, it gets done.

    Helluva better track record than God.

  • KimDavisisHawt

    They can let Paul Ryan pray. I’m gonna listen to Robyn PREACH!

  • efoveks

    My THOUGHTS then, are to PRAY that Congress pass effective gun control legislation. Now what I want to see some ACTION, some effective response to not only my thoughts and prayers, but to control gun violence in this country. How’s that, Paul Ryan you sanctimonious douche?!?

    • Bad Scooter

      “What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?

      If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?

      Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.”

      -James 2:14, The Good Book. The republicans and NRA should do more thorough research on bible-thumping and fewer prayers about gun-humping!

  • Daniel Hooper

    I was gonna joke that prayer protects you from mass shootings as well as running a Prot(ection) Spec Paladin does, but actually… being holed up on a computer by yourself does kinda take the, “mass” part out of mass shooting. So, less prayer, more video games?

  • Poly_Ester

    Action on these prayers is delayed. God is still working on high school players’ game day prayers from 1983.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      He’s gotta get that TRS 80 computer replaced someday. Maybe in eternity?

  • Bad Scooter

    Lemme get this straight, Mr. Speaker.

    “Don’t let any more people into this country unless they’re white and Christian! We have to stop these terrorists! No one in the US deserves to die like this!”
    = GOP response when a brown person kills a bunch of people

    “The madman with a rifle delivered God’s children from evil. Did them a favor, really.”
    = GOP response when a white person kills a bunch of people

    PS: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4e1ff05d71fb1673ec59aa332d3d49f29684c597cc7bae3d948c8a4417cf50f.jpg

    • HooverVilles

      Yep, that sums it up.

  • JesusWasAHippie

    Keep guns legal.

    Ban sale/manufacture/use of all ammo.

    • Bad Scooter

      or charge $1,000/bullet.

      seriously, i know people that stockpiled ammo during the Obama administration because they were convinced he’d regulate bullet sales and limit their supply.

      • phoenix00

        I’d rather try the Chris Rock tactic than the T&P one.

    • JCfromNC

      Or do like handgun sales (here at least) — every time you buy ammo, you have to get a “permit to purchase.” It should almost certainly limit the amount you can purchase with said permit, and possibly the type/caliber as well.

  • “And, it is the right thing to do, is to pray in moments like this because you know what? Prayer works.” Of course it works. Republican politicians like Ryan who make cynical calls to prayer get re-elected. What more proof do you need?

  • susan_g

    Paul Ryan does not believe in God or anything besides making himself and his patrons wealthier.

  • The Librarian

    Prayers and thoughts aren’t going to solve this nor is labeling us the secular left, like that’s a bad thing. Gun humpers often loudly proclaim their love for Jesus, but since he doesn’t seem to be listening to these thoughts and prayers, maybe try a few little gun control laws.

    • Ill-Advised

      We aren’t the secular left, I believe. We are spiritual, and religious, and atheists, and everything between and beyond.

      And many who claim to know Jesus will be surprised that he doesn’t know them. “Who would Jesus shoot?” is not A Thing.

      • phoenix00

        Ryan’s trying to pin liberals as the enemy of the religious right, and using a cheap-shot to do it.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    Hey, Paulie. If your prayers worked, you wouldn’t be a weasel-faced moron doing a job you said you didn’t want, Cheetolini wouldn’t be your private pope, and you’d be on the beach on your own island with a harem of Catholic choir girls. If you really think prayers work and you weren’t just spewing GOP shit from your mouth again, try praying that no more massacres of innocent people happen in America, and that all people with illnesses are made well so they don’t need Obamacare anymore. Let us know when you start praying, so we can read the newspapers to see how well you do. And if you can’t pray for that, what the fuck CAN you pray for? Oh, yeah, another NRA-funded term in office? Not much of a risk-taker with the prayers, eh? Fuck you, and fuck Laura Ingraham. Not ONE of those people in that church was praying to die this past Sunday, you prick. But you and the charlatans like you make up shit to prove you are “right” and the God you pray to knows what’s “right” for everybody. Fuck you, and fuck your god. Can I get a fucking “Amen”???

    • Vacuous Virgina

      Ah … men!

    • HooverVilles

      How about a Pastafarian Ramen!

  • Delu

    This is the right’s problem though, they think prayers are all that’s required.

    I mean, pray as much as you want, but get off your butts and actually do something about it at the end of the day.

    Then we’ll see just how prayers work!

  • CatDog

    It works in the sense that, precisely because it will never fucking work, there will always be further opportunities for continued prayer.

  • Ill-Advised

    Unlike those Two Corinthians that stopped following Jesus months ago…James 2:14-26 Updated American Standard Version (UASV)

    14 What use is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is without clothes and lacks daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what good[1] is that? 17 Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead in itself.

    18 But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.” Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.

    It’s almost as if PAUL RYAN DOESN’T UNDERSTAND CHRISTIANITY.

    Or even Roman Catholicism.

    • HooverVilles

      It’s almost as if PAUL RYAN DOESN’T UNDERSTAND CHRISTIANITY.
      FIFY

  • Ill-Advised

    “Take the Knee, Ted Lieu!”

    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/11/rep-ted-lieu-every-time-mass-shooting

    After all, we do kneel when we pray, do we not?

  • phoenix00

    How are your ribs doing Paulie? All we’ve done is ‘thoughts and prayers’ so far. Do they still hurt? Are they still busted?

    • dshwa

      Wrong Ayn Rand worshiping Dickbag. It’s Rand Paul with the busted ribs.

      • phoenix00

        DAMMIT always get those dickbags mixed up.

        • HooverVilles

          Comment still appropriate!

      • Lily412

        Too many Pauls that are also Dicks.

  • pixeloid

    Prayer does absolutely NOTHING, but it’s a lot easier than actually doing anything.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1b37cbe02c70c5cabad549805a3114286492753695439fcc358c7580b5ceee66.jpg

    • HooverVilles

      I wouldn’t say useless though. They give happiness!

  • resisting and persisting

    By no means am I insulting the people killed in this shooting by saying this: getting shot to death does not make you a “saint”. Nor does it make you a “hero”, as is also often used in cases like this. No, it makes you unfortunate. You don’t automatically attain sainthood by being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  • King Beauregard

    Okay, why is the Virgin Mary stepping out of a giant space vagina? And is Paul Ryan reaching out to us from a Hellmouth?

    • Andrea Jacobsen

      The answer to the second question is “yes, where else do you think he lives?”

      • Lily412

        Upvoted for Clint Barton avatar.

        • Andrea Jacobsen

          I am all about the Barton!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’ve been to Janesville. Hellmouth is about right.

  • Debra Dassow

    Sounds like a Tinkerbell moment.

  • ralphteb

    Yes I’m sure when he was doing the keggers with rich lowery at the lamest frat party ,he prayed, please Jesus let me be come an ineffectual speakers of the house so I can not pass legislation to take everything away from those poors , forever and ever amen

  • unclejeems

    “But wilt thou know, oh vain man, that faith without works is dead?” James 2:20.

    Hypocrites like Ryan don’t have a clue as to the substance of the faith they think they’re defending.

  • Whore_Ta_Culture
  • Grokenstein

    Afterlife reception room: “All right, which of you was praying for everyone to get shot?”

Previous articleDonald Trump Says More Stupid Shit About Guns
Next articleIt’s Election Day! Virginia, New Jersey, Get Your Butts To The Polls!