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Trix, Shy and friends

YOU GUYS! We are sitting in Zion National Park for TWO DAYS, and goddammit, my mobile hot spot works here! No vacation days for me, AGAIN, on my “half-vacation.” (It’s okay. I had one full vacation day in Santa Barbara. And if you ask the kids, I had “more” than that, if you count up all the half-days. So you know what? DON’T ASK THEM!) But don’t worry, I will ditch your ass this afternoon, saddle up Shy and the baby for a Zion national hike, and make Evan, Dok, Robyn and $5F do ALL MY WORK.

In the meantime! We have finally figured out “what is today” and “how far are we from Salt Lake,” and “Bryce Canyon is an hour and 22 minutes away? GOIN THERE NEXT,” and settled on some dates for the final stops on our 2017 Wonkette Beach Bum World Tour (Check Local Listings, ‘World’ May Not Apply)!

Salt Lake City, coming to ya Thurs., Nov. 9! Salt Lake Pizza and Pasta aka Fiddler’s Elbow, 6 p.m. to ???!

Pocatello, we will be in you Fri., Nov. 10! Portneuf Valley Brewing, 615 S 1st Ave, 6-8 p.m.

Helena, Montana, how’s Sat., Nov. 11 sound to all y’all? It sounds mighty fine to us! Lucky bastards, getting a Saturday night. Let’s meet up at the Windbag Saloon, say at 5 p.m.!

Boise, Eugene, Sacramento, Sonoma, Avila Beach, SB, LA, Orange County, San Diego and Big Bear, we miss you dears already. In the immortal words of Michelle Shocked, “Leroy says send a picture. Leroy says hello. Leroy says, aw, keep on rocking.”

Wonkette is ad-free and supported solely by Readers Like You! Click to support our pizzas and beer and Zion hiking trips! And the other things we give to you, like “sanity.” Thank you for reading Wonkette. We love you.

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