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Las Vegas! Put on your sequins and headdresses and boas and betasseled pasties, because you are joining us … at a park. In the afternoon. For pot luck. Probably don’t put on your pasties at all, come to think of it. But do put on sunscreen and mebbe a nice hat for shade and your most fetching political Tee! (OKAY and some pasties.)

We shall host you TOMORROW, Saturday, Nov. 4, let us call it 3 to 6 p.m. at Lorenzi Park, 3343 W Washington Ave, Las Vegas, NV 89107. Look for the union label kittycat banner! We are sorry we are not champagning and steaking you at one of Vegas’s spendier penthouse restaurants, but, well, you know how we are and it is cheap careful stewards of the money you give us every month to do things like “write dick jokes on the internet” and “pay the kids a living wage” and “drive around the country throwing you parties” and “buy Donna Rose all the Little Ponies at the thrift shop” and too also “KEEP YOU SANE”!

You know we do.

Upcoming! Dates To Be Announced! We do not know when because you know how when you are on a long road trip and you finally turn around and head toward home, you can’t help just BOMBING IT and being home in 17 hours flat? Well we are trying our best NOT TO DO THAT and take some actual days to see a few of the national parks Ryan Zinke is trying to murder! (Until now we have been pretty bad about taking “vacation” on our “half-vacation.”) But I would say be ready toward the end of next week to DROP EVERYTHING and come eat pizza with us POCATELLO, IDAHO; SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH; and HELENA, MONTANA.

You have been warned, WITH VENGEANCE.

$
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  • Nounverb911

    Don’t forget to change the oil every once in a while.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    and never in the wastelands of texas…I wonder why?

    ; p

    • Nounverb911

      Texas?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        wastelands.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Is Idris Elba there?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            (loooks around)

            Well not in my room, but I”ll keep an eye out.
            ; p

  • Ryan Denniston

    We shall host you TOMORROW, Saturday, Nov. 5

    Tomorrow is the 4th, unless Obama and his time machine are coming.

    • Mpeg

      Remember, remember, not-the-4th of No-vem-ber?

    • rebecca

      you are right! fixed!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Thanks, Antifa!

  • SomeBigRedDog

    You guys should go see Bears Ears. You know, before its covered in oil wells.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      I’ve actually been to Circus Circus, specifically because of that book and movie (i was only in town for like 24 hours).

      It’s more horrible than you can imagine. (And there weren’t no monkeys).

      • Lascauxcaveman

        When I went there with my wife and kids in 2002, it struck me as as a sad, sad place. It was the cheapest place in town, however. And one of the acts had monkeys, IIRC.

        Highlight of the trip for me was visiting Steve Wynn’s private art gallery just down the street. This was before he accidentally stuck his elbow through Le Rêve.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/39c0b1e1338db43bc9886d4ebfee11f7e12b937b84876c509dd9961f28dcd7c7.jpg

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          sad was the exact word I was thinking of. I was staying on the old strip (in a really sad place), but wandered over there purely out of curiousity. Played poker for a bit.

          I guess they brand it (or it just is) kind of a family themed place, where parents can dump their kids with “fun” things to do and go gamble or drink.

          but yeah, sad is perfect.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I won a huge, snow white, stuffed unicorn there at a ring toss and it was sad to have to carry that fucking thing around all night.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Watch out for the bats!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: Well, this is comforting:

    Indefinite, coercive confinement to induce compliance with a court order is authorized by Tex. Gov’t Code Ann. § 21.002(e)

    • Oblios_Cap

      Oh, my!

      Please govern yourself accordingly.

    • Alan

      Next up, thumbscrews.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        technically I’m guessing coercive is used in the strictest sense, but still, yeah.

  • Zonath

    Obligatory:

    “We had two bags of grass, 75 pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers… Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we’d get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.”

  • Msgr_MΩment

    D. R. gonna play the slots?

    “Mama needs some brand new shoes. No, seriously. Have you seen what she’s wearing?”

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Khavrinen

        Ow.

      • Alan

        Why my wife wears tennis shoes.

        • Bill D. Burger

          I’ve noticed over the years how quickly my wife removes the stilettos when we come in from some event. She now keeps a pair of UGGs in the mud room off the kitchen. In from the garage…off go the high heels…and on go the comfy shoes.

      • calliecallie

        That is painful to watch.

  • Proud Liberal

    Salt Lake City! I live here. Yessss!

    • rebecca

      Proud Grampa does too!!!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Will you be revolutioning before or after?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “Depends on how tired we are.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        Don’t forget about the antifa thingy tomorrow.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          I think that’s what Blob meant.
          : D

          • MynameisBlarney

            Hard to tell with so many different antifa splinter cells about, just which revolutioning he was referring to.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol – actually you make a good point.

            Our schedule is so full of violence and tyranny!

          • MynameisBlarney

            And matching outfits…er…uniforms!

          • I’m finding trouble keeping up with summoning the Dark Forces to join their hellish crusade

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            You gotta have a good work/life balance. Ivanka said so:
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/38fbb008ec9572b35d1ab91bdbe5b4d6e3e07e65422492aed808b940906b653c.png

            (Sorry, I love this fucking picture. It makes me laugh. You’ll be seeing it again).

          • MynameisBlarney

            She looks like someone just called her an oblivious, out of touch trust fund baby who needs to STFU right to her face and she has no idea what to even think about all that.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            IKR?

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Have you tried increasing your vitriol?

        • Alan

          Screw it. I’m sure my check won’t come.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Da!

    • Ryan Denniston
  • Msgr_MΩment

    No pasties?! Why, that’s unamerkin.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Oblios_Cap

      Goddamned traitors, all of them.

    • Khavrinen

      “He should recuse himself because they have witnesses to the fact that he once ordered a White Russian at a bar. Also, too, unsubstantiated rumors that he attended a Yakov Smirnov performance.”

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        well Smirnov thing may go to his mental state…I’d be at least willing ot listen to that argument.

        ; p

      • Kryptonian Canis
        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i was kinda stoked to see MLP had parody characters in a bowling alley scene. (I’ve actually never seen Big Lebowski (dodges incoming furniture and bags of gluten free locally sourced kale))

          • Kryptonian Canis

            Yeah, you don’t want gluten jamming up your kale smoothies.

          • The Wanderer

            Yeah, that was the Fanservice Episode. You should see the number of fanfics written to explain why there’s a Changeling at the wedding.

    • Alan

      What about taking money from billionaires to benefit billionaires instead of the people you are supposed to represent?

      • Augustus

        working as intended

    • Kryptonian Canis

      These two things have Russia in them, therefore conflict of interest!

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      So Hannity, Gingrich and Sessions?

    • cmd resistor

      I think one of them is Matt Gaetz, a whippersnapper jerk from Florida?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Finally this work comes to fruition. Their Hail Mary to link Krooked Killary with Mueller. Go straight to the sports book at the Mirage and get me odds on this bullshit having any legs.

  • Manhattan123

    Idaho? Utah? Montana? tf

    • rebecca

      well, they are on the way to our house.

  • Khavrinen

    “Pizza in Pocatello” would be a great band name.

  • Walter Wellstone

    Vegas, baby!

  • Scooby

    I can’t come. I have the Antifa Apoclypse to prepare for.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • On what should have been twice that number? Also, temporary holiday worker time

    • jesterpunk
      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        there really is a tweet for everything.

        • jesterpunk

          There are a lot of tweets for the jobs numbers I just picked one at random.

          • mancityRed6

            find one about how the high level of the stock market is really fake news.

          • jesterpunk

            Surprisingly there isnt a tweet for that.

          • thewalkindude

            No tweet but from the Sept ‘16 debate-

            “Now, look, we have the worst revival of an economy since the Great Depression. And believe me: We’re in a bubble right now. And the only thing that looks good is the stock market, but if you raise interest rates even a little bit, that’s going to come crashing down.

            We are in a big, fat, ugly bubble. And we better be awfully careful. And we have a Fed that’s doing political things. This Janet Yellen of the Fed. The Fed is doing political — by keeping the interest rates at this level. And believe me: The day Obama goes off, and he leaves, and goes out to the golf course for the rest of his life to play golf, when they raise interest rates, you’re going to see some very bad things happen, because the Fed is not doing their job.”

            Also from the debate,
            CLINTON: I have a feeling that by, the end of this evening, I’m going to be blamed for everything that’s ever happened.

            TRUMP: Why not?

          • jesterpunk

            Huh so there is a Trump comment for everything.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            re bubble – exactly. What I been saying for months – the stock market rise (and I’m not even an amateur stock watcher) appears to be mostly built on “investor confidence” Trump will follow through on his promises (HA!) and strip out all regulation and let businesses run wild.

      • Ryan Denniston

        It’s all a conspiracy to make Trump look bad. Trump is always the victim.

        • Khavrinen

          Amazing how he can have “So much winning you’re gonna get tired of winning” and always be the victim at the same time.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            “So much whining you’re going to get tired of whining”

    • Ryan Denniston

      JFC. Would you focus on your trip to Asia and leave all of us alone already!

    • Doug Langley

      I keep flipping the channels, but I just can’t find FNN. Which network is it?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        you mean FBN? I don’t think many carriers carry it.

        • The Wanderer

          If a carrier’s not carrying, does that mean it miscarried, or is it a miscarrier?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Alan

      What controversy?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Thanks Donna! ___ Hope the book sales are worth the fucking nonsensical distraction.

    • nightmoth

      Oh, christ on a cracker—I’m so sick of the bullshit.

    • Wild Cat

      Fucking hubristic circular firing squad, same shit I’ve witnessed since the fucking 1960s ad nauseum.

      Rational Humans: Get out an vote “D” this Tuesday, even if it’s only for dog catcher.

    • OutOfOrbit

      “Russian propaganda tracker” what is that, even?

      • MynameisBlarney

        *adjusts nerd glasses*

        Why, it’s a device that tracks russian propaganda.

        https://bbsimg.ngfiles.com/1/21432000/ngbbs4c36eb593a519.gif

        GLAVIN!

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          with the tweets and the bots and the ruuuuuuuuusian propaganda.

          • MynameisBlarney

            It’s perfectly cromulent.

        • OutOfOrbit

          THX. i thinked so but didnut know so

        • HooverVilles

          Also GLAVINATOR!

    • Kryptonian Canis

      So that hot piece of outrage I’ve been trying to smash over our disagreements on the Hillary vs Bernie war might just be some Russian troll farm? Damn it! I thought we had a real connection.

    • MynameisBlarney
      • BadKitty904

        As if the Traitor-in-Chief has any idea how the American electoral system is supposed to work…

        • HooverVilles

          Does T-i-C any idea how anything works?

          • BadKitty904

            Theft, corruption, spite, treachery, hate, fear, treason, etc.

          • HooverVilles

            SAD!
            Plus added in a missing word. Sigh!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        jeez, Donna, you expected nuance from this yutz? (Also, that’s apparently what she implied? I dunno, didn’t read excerpt).

      • Kryptonian Canis

        ‘tha fuck did she think was gonna happen?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Probably either exactly what’s happening, or that people would be fawning all over her and begging for her autograph.

      • Bill D. Burger

        You handed the distraction cannon to Fucking Moron and his howler monkeys and you now are surprised they used it? Pfffffffft.!

  • nightmoth

    Rebecca—-go see Arches National Park in Utah.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And Zion, and Capital Reef, and Escalante Nat. Mon., with that road on that knife-edge ridge that’ll scare you like nobodies business…

      • CindyinEncinitas

        The Hogback. Drove a motorhome over it. Yes, it really is scary but mostly because you want to gawk at the scenery and not watch the road. An epic struggle.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I was on it on a bicycle and it was freaky… Not as freaky as Angel’s Landing trail in Zion, but pretty goodly.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            U R crazee!

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I am less crazy… I would not sit and dangle my feet off the top edge of Half Dome now, again…

    • Bill D. Burger

      We love to travel down to Kanaub, Utah. Five National Parks in easy reach. When we were younger we used to go down and hike/camp in Zion/Bryce/Grand Canyon (love the North Rim…right out of a Disney picture.)/ Lake Powell…etc. All close by Kanaub.

    • marxalot

      Valley of Fire on your way outta town!

    • HooverVilles

      Good recommendations here & below. Enjoy!

    • HooverVilles

      Another suggestion. Gobblin Valley State Park. Wasn’t there my self but some scenes in Galaxy Quest that were filmed there make it seem like an interesting place to go to.

      rock rock rock

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
  • Bill D. Burger

    Today’s twitter shitstorm is epic even for Fucking Moron. The batshitcrazee’ Right’s and Tweetler’s twitter rage roid attacks portends another bomb about to drop from Mueller. Count on it.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      He really does sound like your crazy old racist uncle who discovered Twitter. And he’s behaving this way on the eve of a diplomatic trip. To Asia.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Instead of gettin’ all lawyered up, The Keebler goes with this instead.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/news/358620-doj-alleges-aclu-misled-government-about-timing-of-teens-abortion

    • Suttree

      How the fuck did the government pay for it?

    • Zonath

      So in order to hopefully get the Supreme Court to void a decision in a case that’s now moot, DOJ lawyers are crying that they got caught with their pants around their ankles because ACLU lawyers (who agreement or not, can most definitely claim attorney-client privilege) did what they could to spare this poor girl even more legal fuckery from DOJ. Pro tip: If you wanted to apply for a stay, you should have had a motion for the stay written up and ready to file as soon as the ruling came down. If you can’t think ahead as far as tomorrow, you should be a Republican congressperson, not in the legal profession.

    • Shanzgood

      Sorry, I missed what this was about before I posted my link to the story.

      • MynameisBlarney

        No worries.

    • marxalot

      I particularly like how they’re going up against an en banc decision.
      Like…
      You have already been heard by the largest number of jerks, you guys.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    If anyone does show off their betasseled pasties, remember: Pics or it didn’t happen.

    And by pics, I mean video, of course.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Titillating!

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Las Vegas, #fakebewbs!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Donnie’s leaving hte country – quick everybody! Pick up and move the entire country.

    But, uhhh, I can’t help you carry the Statue of Liberty up stairs, bad back and all. (cracks beer).

  • BadKitty904
  • The Wanderer

    OT: So far, this has been an Interesting Day at the workplace. I have so far managed to manfully refrain from describing the day in terms of graphic sexual imagery, much to the amusement of my coworkers.

  • Kryptonian Canis
    • Bill D. Burger

      He seems to revel in insulting the US intelligence services and hates a DOJ he can’t fully control.

  • coozledad

    I’m not a lawyer, but this seems like it would be a short trial.

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/926488826666725376

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      nice to see government lawyers can’t figure out how to make a clean signature line in Word.

      (sorry, office nerd bullshit, but still, that drives me nuts).

      • Husband Of Mrs God

        Geeking out a tiny bit, it drives me nuts that months after one digitally signs using the MS tool, the cert expires and Word tags the signature Invalid, in red, in place of the date. Gotta save it to PDF, for the sig/cert info to be durable.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          I did not know that.

          Luckily in the law world (where the technological dinosaurs roam) the simple /s/ is sufficient to indicate a signature.

    • Red Richmond

      If I’m reading that right, they’re saying it would take 15 days for them to lay out all their evidence, put witnesses on the stand, etc. Not counting time for cross examination, any defense witnesses/evidence/testimony (lol whatever that would be). I think. Care to confirm Space Tacos? Be our legal expert!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        heh, I am SO far from a legal expert. (but thank you!) There are lawyers here, I’m just a paralegal student! Never tried a case.

        (FWIW, I have heard, somewhere long ago, financial related, white collar crimes are hard to pick a jury for and hard to keep them interested. It may be that there’s a LOT of paperwork for them to introduce and go through to build the case, but that’s pure speculation)

        • In DC?

          It’s crawling with lawyers who read tersely worded documents with legal mumbo jumbo where one comma can change the meaning.

          I think they can handle the challenge.

          Are lawyers excluded from jury pools (?!?!)

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            Not eliminated, but are struck. I dunno about across the board, but my paralegal prof works for the DA and she gets struck all the time.

          • Ms.Moon

            They might be it might be according to the case I know doctors are not usually picked for juries about medical issues. (My mom works in a hospital and she was excluded from a jury about a medical issue because of this.)

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Your Honor. I did NOT mean to kill that man. He ran around the corner and smack dab into my knife.”

      Judge: “27 times? In the back?”

      “Yes! I think the evidence is clear.”

      Judge: “Guilty as fuck!”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    These threads r sad 4 mee

    grumble grumble west coasters grumble

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      I know, flyover country is feeling forgotten here :-(

      • rebecca

        what do you call idaho and utah????

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          Hella west of me, that’s for sure!

          • TakingAmes

            Me too. Come to the Midwest, y’all!

        • Querolous

          Mythical Time Zone.

  • Shanzgood

    https://thinkprogress.org/jane-doe-abortion-doj-db0796e78294/

    On Friday, the U.S. Department of Justice filed an unusual petition with the U.S. Supreme Court, accusing the lawyers of misleading the government over the “timing” of an abortion granted to an undocumented teenager held in federal custody. The department is also arguing that because of the lawyers’ actions, the decision to grant an abortion in this particular case should not serve as precedent for future cases.

    These assholes again.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Let me guess. They want to use the magic Republican math that adds 2 weeks to a woman’s pregnancy to shorten the time in which she can legally get an abortion?
      Jesus, it’s even dumber than that.

      • Shanzgood

        No, they’re mad the lawyers helped her get the abortion before the DOJ could cause her any more delays.

        “After informing Department of Justice attorneys that the procedure would occur on October 26th, Jane Doe’s attorneys scheduled the abortion for the early morning hours of October 25th, thereby thwarting Supreme Court review,” Justice Department spokesman Devin O’Malley said Friday. The department said that disciplinary action is “warranted” against Doe’s lawyers.

        • marxalot

          What do they want? To find a doctor to put the fetus back in? What possible redress do they imagine they have in this case?

          • Shanzgood

            They want to punish the lawyers and make it so that it’s just as hard, if not harder, for other detained girls to get abortions in the future.

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            Because the alternative is what, anchor babbiez? I cannot brane the way these so-called ‘people’ brane.

          • HooverVilles

            You’re assuming that they “brane” in the first place. They don’t do that. They do the belief thingy. Their reason/belief toggle switch in their brain is set permanently to belief/stupidstition.
            Sigh!

          • shivaskeeper

            No redress, but the SCOTUS is supposed to be big on precedent. If she was able to get an abortion this case will be pointed to as precedent in the future.

          • GHERKINS du RESISTANCE!

            Precedent Schmecedent. Can’t they just Bush v. Gore it again, like a common kangaroo (-faced / Scalia) court?

    • shivaskeeper

      The Elf on the Shelf even lied about where the money for Ms Doe’s abortion came from. Unless he is implying that even going to court to fight her and losing was spending federal money on the abortion. I wouldn;t put that past him at all. Just ban the whole procedure so no federal money is spent in arguing for or against it.

      • Shanzgood

        True. As I understand it, her sponsors paid for it.

        The DOJ didn’t mind spending taxpayer money to transport her a couple of hundred miles to the CPC clinic for a fake checkup and a “counseling session” designed to get her to change her mind.

    • TakingAmes

      Right. She already had the abortion, but they’re doing everything they can to shove that fetus right back inside her.

    • HooverVilles

      Again and again and again… ad nauseum (sp?)

      Sigh!

  • marxalot

    Can we bring dogs?

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Rats…I just realized that this will be happening at the same time I’m going with friends to the Dia de Muertos event at the Springs Preserve which, by the way, is right across US-95 from Lorenzi Park. :(

    Maybe next time. Although I’d have probably just sat awkwardly by myself anyway, not talking to anyone.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Anne Of Green Bagels

    great! all that’s left to do is to convince my lazy ass of a husband to go with me…

  • mailman27

    Wait a minute you slackers, Nov. 4 is the day of the antifa armed takeover! Wouldn’t wanna miss that.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Pencil in both. Violent Antifa revolution in the morning, have that white male fascistic hegemony overthrown and cleaned up by one or so, then relax with a nice outdoor potluck in the afternoon!

  • CindyinEncinitas

    I heard you talking about the parks in Utah and I’d like to recommend Scenic Highway 12 and taking a drive through Burr Canyon, which is a slot canyon near the Anasazi Museum. It’s spectacular, won’t take a long time to see, and you don’t even need to get out of the Wonkebago. But even if you don’t see that, Scenic Highway 12 is a don’t-miss.

  • Nothing Good Ever Happens in Las Vegas. ©
    https://douchetool.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/vegas-com-douchebag.jpg

    This was a real promotion, OMG

  • gallbladder

    Will there be an early-bird buffet dinner?

  • WIDTAP

    Darn it. Now we have to cancel the antifa government takeover planned for November 4th, as Fox News confirmed (with their usual credibility). But on the other hand, priorities, I guess?

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/11/03/antifa-apocalypse-anarchist-groups-plan-to-overthrow-trump-regime-starts-saturday.html

  • uniquename72

    While you’re in Vegas, I recommend you head downtown tonight to First Friday. It’s really the only place you’ll get to see *actual* Las Vegas, rather than just the Strip.

  • bobbert

    If I had not recently met the Wonkabago crowd (and our charming over-toddler) in Sac, I would be tempted to visit Lost Wages, because the antifa uprising is scheduled for my birfday. Incidentally, what I’d like for my 70th is MOAR INDICTMENTS.

    • Canned Covfefe

      HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!!
      Id give indictments but they won’t let me in the big sandbox.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    Free hot dogs to all who can twirl their pasties in opposite directions at the same time!

  • Parene Nelson Doubt

    I want to go, but too lazy to drive all the way to Lorenzi Park…Plus, have selfish children so on grandbaby sitting duty. Maybe next time you could try Sunset Park it’s just a bit closer.

  • Marsupial99

    “buy Donna Rose all the Little Ponies at the thrift shop”

    Seriously? I ask all those times, and NOW you say PONIES?!?

    I have half a mind (ummm…) to drive out to Vegas now! Hmmph.

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