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Maybe those glasses are helping. Or maybe he’s one of those broken clocks.

Lots of people on the interwebs are making fun of poor dumb Energy Secretary Rick Perry today because he said something that sounded really stupid, suggesting that increased use of fossil fuels could dramatically cut sexual assault in the developing world. While Perry is A Idiot, that’s mostly because he thinks fossil fuels are the only true way to power economic development. As a Republican from Texas, he was required to sign over ownership of his pecker and his cerebral cortex to the oil and gas industry, after all.

Perry said today’s dumb thing at a Washington event sponsored by — of course — the American Petroleum institute and moderated by NBC’s walking equivocation machine Chuck Todd and Axios founder Jim VandeHei. Interrupted by protesters who attacked his love of coal and oil, Perry shot back with a Telling Anecdote about how fossil fuels make life better for everyone:

So that’s one hell of a stretch, getting from fossil fuels to preventing sexual assaults, which seem not to have vanished from the fully electrified US America or Europe. There’s a certain intuitive logic in claiming that street lighting will reduce crime in general — including sexual assault — although some research even casts doubt on the commonsense idea that well-lit streets = safer streets. The research on how effective the light of righteousness is at preventing sexual assault is even murkier. Like Rick Perry’s logic.

But wait! Maybe Perry is on to something! After all, there’s this charity, the American Relief Agency for the Horn of Africa (ARAHA), that’s raising funds for small solar lighting units with pretty much the same appeal:

Solar lights offer a dignified solution to improving the safety of home life for families not connected to electricity. These lights are especially important for the protection of women and children against the ever-present threat of rape, assault, or other forms of gender-based violence. Providing a reliable source of light has been shown to dramatically reduce rates of gender-based violence, an outcome ARAHA rigorously pursues through its solar light program

There’s commonsense logic to the idea that light might reduce crimes against women; we rather wish AHARA had included a link to a study to back that up. But Perry’s missing the bigger point in his propagandizing for coal and oil development anyway, because while they definitely generate electricity, there’s no reason to treat them as the only, or even the best, solution to the needs of the developing world.

Not incidentally: The Pentagon considers climate change a security threat that will lead to conflicts over scarce resources, mass migrations, and civil wars. Dumping more carbon into the air ultimately won’t reduce sexual assaults, which always skyrocket during wartime and refugee crises.

Let’s go back to the little girl who wants to study by the light of a nice bright electric light instead of having to breathe fumes from a fire or a kerosene lamp — and let’s make it an LED, too, just to piss off Perry. Why the hell does that little girl’s village need all the costly infrastructure of coal mines or oil wells, plus generating stations, plus miles and miles of transmission line, to bring her that light? The really hot trend in Africa right now — for American and African entrepreneurs — is small, local solar development, where a few panels and a local microgrid are enough to provide power for a whole village at far lower infrastructure cost to the villagers. Cleaner energy, more affordable, and more local autonomy, hurrah!

There are all sorts of competing ideas for clean generation of light for individual homes, like this nifty startup, GravityLight, that aims to replace dirty kerosene lamps in Kenya with lights powered by small generators that run off a descending weight, like a modern version of a weight-wound clock, minus the springs:

Of course, there is one big, big downside to developing local microgrids that are independent of big power companies and polluting energy sources: They take away a market for the producers of dirty energy, not only the big oil companies that own Rick Perry’s brain and pecker, but also the corrupt petroregimes that run far too many African countries with the help of their American oil company partners. Obviously, if local communities give electric Power to the People, those people might start getting funny dangerous ideas about other kinds of autonomy, too, and then how the hell will we sell their rulers big generators, pipeline contracts, or American weapons systems?

Wonkette depends on your love to keep us lit. We also partner with Arcadia Energy, which gives us a nice signing bonus for every Wonkette supporter who joins their wind energy program and/or their solar energy program — pay your home energy bill with green energy, regardless of where you live!

[ThinkProgress / Gizmodo / Mother Jones / New Yorker / AHARA / GravityLight Foundation]

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  • Asterix

    The glasses have failed. He is still stoopid.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    I prefer to stay about 93 million miles away from Big Solar.

    • Joe Beese

      Once nuclear energy started powering the Sun, I wanted nothing more to do with it.

    • elviouslyqueer

      How Mercurial of you.

      • aureolaborealis

        Nah. Mercury is only 36 million miles away from Big Solar.

    • Oblios_Cap

      That won’t help you when it goes nova.

      • willi0000000

        red giant phase gonna get you sooner.

        [ Earth’s orbit will likely be inside the Sun then ]

      • Celtic_Gnome

        We be doing the bossa nova!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    I propose sunshine 24 hours a day that way all the rapes will stop.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      Newt Gingrich had a plan for that. Proposed giant mirrors in orbit that would reflect the light of the sun to permanently end night. Really thought that one through.

    • Daniel

      One of the places with the lowest reported rate of rape and sexual assault is the Sahara.
      Hows stupid now?

      • WIDTAP

        Bet it isn’t any lower than Death Valley, California in the summer.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Maybe that’s why they’re trying to obliterate the planet by denying climate change – once humanity is gone, there will be no more sexual assault.

  • Darrell Imaginarian

    Africa doesn’t tend to be short on sunlight. For lighting, I would have to think self contained solar units make a lot of sense in rural areas.

    • Daniel

      Maybe Donald’s friends who plan to make a lot of money there, believe me, in Nambia and other places can export some of that sunlight and sell it to places like under the stairs or England? It’s very good ideas like this we need to Make America Great Again And Africa Also.

      • willi0000000

        Genuine Frontier Gibberish™ is what that is.

        [ well done ]

      • richardgrabman

        How would they transmit power from Namibia to Britain? From Morocco to Spain, yeah, but Africa’s a really, really big place.

        • richardgrabman

          oops… I should have been wearing my glasses.

  • clubseal

    I remember seeing an ad for a soccer ball that had an internal dynamo that could provide enough energy to power small devices after being kicked around for a while. Fucking cool, and not just because I’ve been a soccer player for 20 years.

  • elviouslyqueer

    As a Republican from Texas, he was required to sign over ownership of his pecker and his cerebral cortex to the oil and gas industry, after all.

    Cerebral cortex, yes. But his pecker belongs to some hot strapping 20-something cowpoke from Odessa. ALLEGEDLY.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    I see Perry’s point. If you pump the environment with enough pollutants from coal, oil and gas then people will be full of toxins and too sick and tired to commit rapes. MAGA!

  • Wild Cat

    Everything this wise man learned, he learned at N****rhead Ranch.

  • Augustus

    DAMN IT! I had that gravity light idea 6 years ago

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Righteous Dude, is righteous, dude.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    “The glasses, they do nothing!”

    Never gets old or inappropriate for Governor Goodhair.

    What a maroon! What an imbesil!

  • Anna Rompage

    LED & Solar is the way to go, especially in a region that typically gets plenty of sunshine…

    Last year, I converted to all LED lighting in my home. It cost me about $250, but if I turned on every light in the house at the same time, my power draw went from 3200 watts using incandescent bulbs, down to 212 watts with the LEDs

  • WIDTAP

    Thank God no one has ever been sexually assaulted by an known acquaintance in a well lit room. It would be practically unbelievable.

  • stankbait

    Perry has the lights on but nobody is home.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Um, this is fine if you are being raped by cockroaches in your kitchen at 3 am.

  • Suttree

    How are you going to give your money to Exxon et al every month if you have solar? Hennggg?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Shouldn’t we be sending guns? I thought that was the cure for everything.

    • Only for horses.

    • Vincent Ricola

      I don’t believe rape is covered under the current Stand Your Ground laws. Just dangerous possession of Skittles and existing while black.

    • jesterpunk

      I think it’s thought and prayers, guns are for white people.

    • Bad Scooter

      thoughts and prayers libelz!

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Movies are shown in the dark, and there’s all that Hollywood sexual assault, so I see his point…

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Now you made me think of PeeWee.

      • RMKH

        Didn’t Peewee just assault himself?

        • AJ Milne

          … and he meant to do that.

        • Lazyjay

          And asked for a helping hand from an undercover cop

          • clubseal

            Oh, that is a badge in your pocket, and you’re not happy to see me.

  • Michael Smith

    I think Perry and his friends are looking for a different kind of power in Africa.

  • Gosala

    Hmmm.. my first reaction was that Perry doesn’t really care about rape. He just thought he could make points …

  • Belasaurius

    get a flashlight, ladies. Rape problem solved.

    • calliecallie

      If it’s a big enough flashlight, you can use it like a baseball bat to hit him in the groin.

    • Arolpin

      Get a case of fleshlights to hand out. Rape problem possibly slightly affected. (Rape is about power, not sex, I know, but the joke kind of wrote itself.)

  • Aaron Headly

    If Big Oil paid any money for Rick Perry’s brain, well, I hope they kept the receipt.

    • clubseal

      “No givesies backsies!”
      – The WalMart that sold Rick Perry’s brain.

  • memzilla Ω

    Here’s another great idea for developing countries: solar-powered grills. Probably does great BBQ, too!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8139910d4c99f91f93e6e8929bbe9c802d78f8ef0f7cebbe73a442743cfe50a8.jpg

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      MMMMM grilled bushmeat.

      Okay I am a jerk, but those look fantastic.

    • Red Bird

      I would buy that.

  • Vincent Ricola

    There should be no coming back from a DWTS appearance and I will continue to scream it into the void for the rest of my life.

  • Viktor

    Well Rick Perry must speak Arabic, Somali, Berber, Amharic, Oromo, Igbo, Swahili, Hausa, Manding, Fulani and Yoruba, if he understood what the the little girl was saying. All up in his face.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Wait, what if it’s difficult to reach the light switch with these aspirins held between my knees?

  • P’jama Pahnts

    I was genuinely curious if Rick Perry and Sean Hannity had ever been seen in the same room or picture together and yep, of course they have
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/64c78b15a4d236776ec5dd132a19ea0adbba4723f3ded78ad14ddbb3cb5497aa.jpg

    • janecita

      Were they going fishing?

      • Oblios_Cap

        circle jerking.

  • Old town Urbandale

    Why the hell does that little girl’s village need all the costly infrastructure of coal mines or oil wells, plus generating stations, plus miles and miles of transmission line, to bring her that light?

    Because my fossil fuels stock portfolio needs a boost?

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Daniel

    “The offing was barred by a fluffy bank of clouds, and the tranquil waterway leading to the uttermost ends of the earth flowed cheerily under a sunny sky—seemed to lead into the heart of an immense brightness.”

    And people said no one would read the Bowdlerized version. Good for you, Rick Perry.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    “I couldn’t resist, your honor, because of the way she was dressed lit.”

  • laughingnome

    What a dim bulb

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Here comes the sun
    Here comes the sun
    And I say…GTFO! Drill baby drill!

    /worst Beatles remake ever
    /FFS

  • Anna Rompage
    • Beanz&Berryz

      White rage…

      • Anna Rompage

        Unfortunately that’s quite the toxic substance…

        • armed_bears

          Eh… I’m channeling mine… Works so far.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      It’s too soon to politicize energy.

    • janecita

      You are starting to sound like Nikola Tesla.

    • Boscoe
      • Bad Scooter

        psh. you would have him mess up his perfectly sprayed hairdo for the sake of preserving his corneas?

    • aureolaborealis

      No, because capitalism. No way to insert myself between you and the sun to extract a profit from the process.

      • Red Bird

        That might be why they’re so anxious to get to mars. Maybe?

    • Bad Scooter

      the light of righteousness! and no fossils needed to “push it out to those villages.” YAY! did anyone tell Rick about this yet so he can give grant money to the home-solar job creators?

  • Descendant of Wario

    “Fossil fuels stop rape” has to be the hottest take of 2017. This is seriously some next level, galactic brain stuff right here.

    • Boscoe

      Thinking outside the brain, if you will.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    While fossil fuels may prevent more sexual assaults the violence will be made up for by Tyrannical dictators and poor working conditions supported by the energy corporations.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • kaydenpat

      Is that his attempt at humor? FAIL.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I don’t think it was really him.

    • aureolaborealis

      “My apologies. I forgot fucking children was illegal. OK. We done here?”

  • Cat Cafe

    Why would people think of solar energy in Africa? It’s not like they have hot, sunny weather all the time or anything.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      The sun shines so much that many people miss the rains down in Africa.

      • laughingnome

        The wild dogs cry out in the night
        As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company

        • janecita

          I stopped an old man along the way, hoping to find some long forgotten words or ancient melodies.
          He turned to me as if to say, “Hurry boy, it’s waiting there for you.”

      • Oblios_Cap

        Somebody should write a song about that.

        • janecita

          A terrible song.

          • Arolpin

            It’s near the peak of terrible songs, popularized during the high-water mark of terrible songs. I can’t even decide if I hate Toto more than Asia and Journey or if I hate them all the same. Air Supply is worse than all of them.

          • janecita

            They all suck equally.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Air Supply’s definitely worse.

          • HEY MAN ASIA WERE GREAT

            (RIP John Wetton)

          • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

            Can you prove that Toto, Asia, Journey, and Air Supply aren’t all the same band under different names?

          • Van Buren

            Sometimes they went by “Styx”

          • Bad Scooter

            Toto libelz!

    • Augustus

      I don’t understand why Las Vegas isn’t 150% solar-powered by now

      • Cat Cafe

        They are actually installing vast numbers of solar power plants. Here in L.A., too. Part of the problem is it’s expensive. A lot of individuals want to switch and have solar power in their own house but it’s expensive to install the panels, and not easy to deal with the DWP (there have been programs where you can actually sell your extra power back to the grid, but not here). We used to have a president who fought to support and subsidize and reward people who switched to renewable energy, but something happened…. I’m not sure…. something with Hillary’s emails…. I’m beginning to wonder if some of those oil company guys aren’t so nice after all. Now that I think of it, they had something to do with destroying a thriving, all-city, totally functional public transportation system here, too. And here I thought they were such nice guys.

  • Viktor

    That picture of him looks like the reaction to Chris Hansen’s ” Have a seat”

    • Augustus

      “Hi there, Rick, why don’t you have a seat. Yep, right there, why don’t you just sit right down there.”

      • Resistor Radio

        “You can just put the wine coolers on the counter.”

      • quantum mechanic

        “I see you’ve brought along a pint of Old Crow and 200 condoms. What were your intentions this evening?”
        “Umm errr to preach the Word of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ about the hell fire that awaits those who give up fossil fuels in place of idolatrous
        heathen things like solar and wind power.”

    • kaydenpat

      He should take several seats and shut the hell up.

    • Vincent Ricola

      “Would you like some lemonade?”

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Perry is not only not smarter than a fifth grader, he’s not even smarter than a road grader.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Stealing that.

  • Joe Beese
    • wide_stance_hubby

      I thought he was going to have us secure by lunchtime of Day One?

    • Vincent Ricola

      I can only read these tweets in Stephen Colbert’s Trump impression voice now. Needs more dot dot dot dot dot.

    • kaydenpat

      Because one Diversity Visa beneficiary commits a crime, the entire program is shut down.

      Because scores of gun owners engage in mass shootings/killings, guns are heavily regulated.

      Oh wait!!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Can someone please tell this walking orange peel that the dude was radicalized after he came to the US, ergo it doesn’t matter what program he came in through.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The only thing Congress should TERMINATE is this cheeto-faced baffoon’s presidency.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      So, does that mean the diversary lottery is safe?

  • PubOption

    I’m not sure what E. F. Schumacher would make of this: he promoted coal as an energy source, but also encouraged small-scale ‘appropriate technology’ projects. I have heard Schumacher speak, and I can tell you that he was a lot more erudite than Rick Perry.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Represent, yo. Off to Trader Joe’s in my Wonkette shirt, complete with toothpaste stain. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3dd486f943dddd5a48ab812be9ca20cdbaa08393800a50363800f9000812d588.jpg

    • Oblios_Cap

      Your coloration is a little off. At least compared to your profile picture.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      That just proves you brush your teeth

      • puredog

        Tantamount to a pickup line, at TJ’s.

    • janecita

      Get me some wine, and those cakes we like.

      • Doug Langley

        And some cedar cheese.

    • arglebargle

      You’ve lost some weight.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Did you have to pay extra for the toothpaste stain?

      Asking for a friend.

  • Anna Rompage

    Yes, lets get rid of toxic,air polluting, kerosene lamps that run on fossil fuels for the health of the children, and build massive power plants that run on toxic, air polluting fossil fuels…

    That makes a lot of sense, now doesn’t it?

  • Panika MCD

    the other drawback to microgrids for any utility is that it gets wiped out in a natural disaster. this has been a huge problem with localized water utilities and septic tank systems affected by Harvey. that doesn’t mean that you need coal and petroleum to generate your power and it also doesn’t mean that you can’t later connect microgrids to each other in a manner that provides more resiliency in the future.

    also too: shiva, jester and I worked this out a month or so ago because Perry has not always been whole hog about the oil industry. he’s always supported it, but he oversaw the dramatic expansion of wind power in TX which now provides the state with 12-13% of its total power for ERCOT. wind is not the right solution for every community by any means, but a combination of renewable energy sources is preferable.

    we decided that he’s up this administration’s butt about oil and coal. just hope that he doesn’t hook the administration up with Mucus or, because he’s more effective, James LeBas.

    https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-rise-of-wind-power-in-texas/

  • jesterpunk

    Wouldn’t the fumes from burning coal or oil just replace the fumes from biting kerosene?

  • kaydenpat
    • OutOfOrbit

      that’s my normal state of mind

  • jesterpunk
  • Descendant of Wario

    There is no need for The Onion to be in business anymore.

    • Crystalclear12

      Satire today, breaking news tomorrow.

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    There was an episode of a show called “Breakthrough” where a charity wired a tiny Tibetan mountain village with solar microgrids. Great show, and really moving episode. When they turned the lights on the first night and the village was lit up for the first time EVER, I admit that I teared up.
    http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/breakthrough-series/episodes/power-to-the-people/

    • doktorzoom

      Saw that, had the same reaction!

  • Oblios_Cap

    There are all kinds of small, single-home systems that can provide lighting and phone-charging for third-world homes that are pretty darned cheap. And battery storage tech keeps getting better; there’s no reason we can’t all be of the grid someday soon.

  • capnkrunch

    Apropos of nothing, someday I want to work on water infrastructure in developing countries. It just takes soooo long to finish an engineering degree when you also have to work full time.

    Also, fuck Rick Perry.

    • kareemachan

      And I’ve been saying for quite a while that water is *definitely* gonna be the next oil in terms of need, availability, and being screwed if we have a shortage of it.

    • HarpyLibtart

      High-five to my fellow working scholars, the grind is hard, yo…
      I’m half-way through my second degree, which I could have finished like, two years ago if I didn’t also have to pay rent and eat and stuff.
      That is an awesome goal though, you’ll get there eventually :)
      Fuck Rick Perry with a rusty drill rig, too.

  • Crystalclear12

    Who’s a good oil whore?

    • janecita

      I read that as “oily whore.”

      • weighmaster

        That too.

      • Crystalclear12

        That works to.

  • Scooby

    Poor Rick Perry, he thinks fossil fuels could have saved the dinosaurs.

    • jowgajen

      Soylent green is people!

      • Resistor Radio

        I finally saw that movie, and it’s so much fun!

  • Oblios_Cap

    I don’t believe I have any righteous lights in my house. But I also haven’t had any rapes occur there, either, so I guess it’s cool.

  • exinkwretch

    I’m not here to bag on ol’ Gov. Goodhair. He is a devout, godly man. He bends a knee and thanks almighty God each and every day that thanks to Louie Gohmert, he is only the second dumbest man in Tejas.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Joe Beese
    • wide_stance_hubby

      Can they fit any more toll booths on the information superhighway?

    • TJ Barke

      Fuck that shit…

    • Boscoe

      Don’t worry, the market will correct itself any time now… any time now… wait for it…

  • MynameisBlarney

    Well well well….

    Guess who just remembered talking about rooshan collusion?

    https://twitter.com/AynRandPaulRyan/status/926158233353383937

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      1. “Oh, you mean *that* George Papadopoulos?”
      2. “Oh, you mean *that* Russia?”
      3. “Hamanahamanahamanah.”

    • wide_stance_hubby

      While there are SO many deserving, I have a special wish that Sessions be the next hit.

    • Boscoe
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Threat of prosecution has a great power to increase one’s memory. Ask the AG.

    • Doug Langley

      Is this what legal eagles mean by “his memory refreshed”?

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    I can’t find the original source, but the link between fossil fuel usage and economic growth is breaking. Example: Scotland is completely off coal now, but their economy continues to grow apace.

  • TJ Barke

    I know! Let’s pin our entire civilization’s function on non renewable resources that pollute the air and water! What could go wrong?

    • jowgajen

      We are about to find out.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Why sign up for a few million years of unsustainable energy, when the sun dies, it’s GONE, sheeples!

      • NellCote71

        It was only a few short months ago that the moon, of all things, blocked it out.

        • Doug Langley

          Well, what are we waiting for? Blow up the moon!

          • Resistor Radio

            The existence of the moon is a myth perpetuated by the deep state and liberal media.

        • Yellerduck

          Just last night we had an eclipse! The earth passed between Texas and the sun. Lasted for HOURS!

          • NellCote71

            As a Texan, I approve your post.

          • anotherangle01

            And lo unto us, the Astros transformed into World Series champs as a result of this celestial event!!!!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Plus, maybe we can finally dump all our energy-inefficient incandescent bulbs on them!
    Win-win*.

    *well, maybe not for the Africans, but then, when is it ever?

  • Crank Tango

    So, lights powered by renewables don’t prevent rape? I had no idea.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      You see, there are cloudy days, and then the raping just won’t stop.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “Cloudy with a chance of rape.”

        • TJ Barke

          Lol.

        • kareemachan

          Cringe. LOL.

      • marxalot

        This explains why Seattle and Vancouver are just wall to wall rapists..?

    • Boscoe

      That’s because they lack the intricate interactions of light and carcinogens. You know, SCIENCE!!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Yeah, but if it’s legitimate rape, the power company has a way of shutting that down. (The lights, I mean)

  • Marion in Savannah

    The concept of those gravity lights is SO COOL! Even if it rains all the time you’ve still got gravity. (I know, I know, the RWNJs will tell me that it’s just a theory…)

    • Boscoe

      LOL I just flashed back to watching a flat-Earther try to explain how there is no “gravity”, things just fall naturally because of WEIGHT. ROFL

      • kareemachan

        That’s…. gobsmacking.

        • Boscoe

          Well, don’t forget, we’re talking about people who take pictures of stars with their i-phones and notice that when they zoom in, what they see LOOKS NOTHING LIEK STARS!!!1!!11!! PROOF OF THE NASA CONSPIRACY!!!

      • cheetojeebus

        There not FALLING they’re being pressed down by the sky. Gah!1

  • Boscoe

    Just another shining example of the way conservatives live in a world informed entirely by ignorance and cartoonish stereotypes. In this case the cartoon vision of rapes only occurring in dark, seedy alleyways at night by unknown attackers. Unfortunately, most victims of sexual assault know their attacker and are more likely to be raped in their own home or the home of the attacker, with only 3.6% occurring outdoors…

    https://www.nij.gov/topics/crime/rape-sexual-violence/Pages/victims-perpetrators.aspx

    http://www.statisticbrain.com/rape-statistics/

  • Scooby

    This is exactly why almost all the African nations would rather deal with China.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Africa only consumes 3% of the world’s coal. C’mon, kids. Catch the fuck up!
    https://scitechdaily.com/images/World-Coal-Consumption-Since-1980.gif

  • NellCote71

    Do you really think the O&G industry want to own Perry’s brain (ha) and pecker when they can have all the hookers and blow its little heart desires?

    • Ellie

      They’ve owned him since at least 2002.

  • kareemachan

    I pointed this out on another website. Many of those countries are a good fit with solar or wind energy, and the infrastructure for dumbass’ fossil fuels would be horrific.

    Not that he minds.

    I’m very tempted to send him a copy of this book (which is really interesting, btw, if you haven’t heard of it):

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cb65982b8bb83f1871ed50e957dfef8e5addd8b606633bcd6e46442bf903016a.jpg

    Not that he’d read it or could comprehend it.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    There should be an international law for developing countries. They should have to go through 7 layers of shitty industrialization, like we did. We can’t just start them off with clean energy! I mean, c’mon!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And they are starting their communcation networks with cell phones, too!

      • TJ Barke

        Such entitlement!

      • willi0000000

        . . . and i’ll bet some of them have refrigerators.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I know… COMPLETELY skipping iceboxes…

          Who here grew up with someone in the house calling a refrigerator an icebox? I did…

          • willi0000000

            i still call it that.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors
  • Indiepalin

    The light generated by solar or wind power doesn’t provide near as much tumenescent safety as a kerosene powered generator in the middle of the arctic tundra.

    • Robyn Ryan

      Who wants to live there?
      It annoys the local fauna.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    The lights=safety thing might make sense in a country where a woman is more likely to be assaulted by a stranger than a friend/acquaintance/family member. I don’t know if such a country exists.

    • Regret

      Even then, the stranger needs to see the woman to assault her.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        hm?

  • Mary Theresa
    • phoenix00

      “No thanks, I’m allergic to crunchy.”

  • willi0000000

    hi, ex lighting-designer/electrical-engineer here . . . there have been a lot of studies on light levels vs crime . . . one of the best i saw (many, many years ago . . you know, when men were men and women were persons) noted that criminals don’t like to hang around dark places any more than anyone else . . . because they know what kind of people are out there at night.

    overlit spaces at night create high contrast shadows that are easy to hide in . . . most outdoor lighting is many times what is needed for the tasks performed in a space . . . c’mon, what’s the task for a sidewalk and how much light do you need? . . . the task is walking without tripping on a body lying there or falling in an unmarked excavation . . . the average person only needs the equivalent of bright moonlight to accomplish this task.

    roadway lighting can be less than sidewalk illumination levels . . . cars got headlights (and clams got legs!).

    parking and other spaces around most buildings are some of the worst offenders when it comes to overlighting . . . driven by a car dealership lately?

    i understand you can get higher levels for less energy cost by using LEDs but i’m all-in-favor of reducing or eliminating most outdoor lighting . . . i’d love to be able to see the Milky Way again before i die.

    • marxalot

      I’m a big dark-skies proponent, me. The old Moonglobes (there’s still a couple left in San Antonio and Austin, if I recall) were actually really good about diffusing ambient light for seeing to walk by.

      • willi0000000

        there’s a lot of fixtures out there with fantastic light control . . . the let you see what you need to see and don’t glare in your eyes or create high contrast shadows.

        i once lit an underground parking facility (pre-LED) with about ½ watt/sq-ft (maybe less, it’s been a long time) just by putting the lights where they were needed . . . unlike most garages i put the lights over the space between rows of cars (over the gap between you and the car parked nose-to-nose with you in the next aisle over) because that’s where the rapists like to hide and jump out of the shadows between rows.

        you don’t light the aisles (again) cars got headlights.

      • Fartknocker

        The correct term Moonlight Towers. They are National Historical Registry of Historical Places. Rick Perry is a registered on E-Dumbass and a Gold member.
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moonlight_Towers_(Austin,_Texas)

    • Robyn Ryan

      Saw a study drift by that compared demographics of warm retro Edison light to cool led. Exact corrolation of edison bulbs and gentrification.

      • willi0000000

        i’ve got a 2700K LED lamp that even my calibrated eyeballs can’t tell from incandescent.

        some brands cheat on the color mix . . . you just have to find one you like.

    • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

      plus all that unnecessary light is bad for birds

    • Regret

      hear hear.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Motion sensors are good for saving electricity and worrying crooks.

      • Lefty Wright

        Although it can be a little spooky. A lot of grocery stores are putting LED lights in the freezer aisles. I usually shop when the store is not crowded. Walking down the aisle lights follow you as you walk down, coming on when you get to a small section, cutting off as soon as you move down a foot or two.

    • Van Buren

      I know its a full moon and all, but I was out at 330 AM with my dogs and noted that it was so light that I could read the license plate of the car across the street. Totally agree that most lighting is overdone.

  • rocktonsam

    Geez the clown car has a never ending supply of clowns . It’s getting funz.

  • marxalot

    I always wondered why every developing nation had to recapitulate the entire Industrial Revolution, complete with the environmental devastation and black lung, rather than just getting the latest version of development infrastructure and go from there. It would be more efficient.

    • Boscoe

      But… then what would the oil and coal industries do with all that useless, outdated junk laying around in their backyards?

      • willi0000000

        recycle?

        [ nah ]

  • Sashineb

    Hey, Rick, I’m going to suggest three things. Can you repeat them? No? Didn’t think so.

    • Sakonyachen

      He can’t remember three things he was going to suggest. Why tease him for being A IDIOT?

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Eliasson is one of my favorite contemporary artists, and good people to boot.
    http://littlesun.com/about/

  • goonemeritus

    So does it follow that distributed solar power and high efficiency LED lighting is rapiee?

  • Ryan Denniston

    We do have a real life experiment in Puerto Rico. We should start surveying so we know how much more grabass is going on.

    • Persistent Demme

      Elon Musk sent solar units there, right away.
      http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41524220

    • javadavis

      It’s started. Tesla is probably about to piss off the admin, but he’s prolly rich enough to buy the security he needs. Be ready for the Fox attacks, those should be fun.

  • Robyn Ryan

    How indeed?
    Eliminate a service grid, eliminate the means to extract revenue from operating public utilities.
    Grids are much too fragile: like the old telegraph line.
    Point of use mechanical power generation is as radical as cell phones.
    And as liberating.

    • willi0000000

      mechanical? . . . OK if for industrial use with tight pollution controls and cogeneration . . . not so good for dwellings because most owners can’t/won’t do the required maintenance and usually don’t have a year-round use for all the heat.

      i’m waiting for a good cheap supercapacitor for storage . . . eliminates all the problems with batteries and their attendant pollution . . . that’ll let wind, solar, tidal etc. grow like Topsy.

      • javadavis

        Old school mechanical power generation.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXpn2ibxm88

        (One of my favorite sewing machines, ever, was a treadle. Ran nice and smooth, stopped on a dime and took needles and bobbins that are getting harder and harder to find. Alas.)

        I def remember seeing this guy demoing a power train to run a whole shop, something that could be rebuilt out of multi-speed bike parts, but have been looking for five minutes and not seen it.

        Also, too, on this search I ran into vids for bicycle powered generators. Can be done. The bike to electric power generation requires calorie usage via muscle power, though. Up side, runs after sun down.

        • willi0000000

          most of the human-powered devices for producing energy (weight-driven clocks and LED lights excepted) have the distinct disadvantage of not being particularly well regulated.

          human-powered electricity usually suffers from being badly regulated and that can damage or destroy equipment . . . and there aren’t a lot of people who can output a steady 1 kW for long.

          some human-powered machines make sense but are usually confined to working wood or cloth or paper type materials . . . if you want to work metal you need more concentrated power . . . if you want to run an entire woodshop you need a lot of power,

          now look at your favorite sewing machine . . . count the metal parts and note the casting and machining that went into its assembly . . . all requiring large amounts of concentrated power . . . a hundred people on bicycles might get you there but the connecting system is a nightmare.

          wind can be used with nothing more than junk reassembled, is spotty, but can be used to work up the $s to get to solar power and/or electric storage.

          finally, human power requires the expenditure of calories . . . lots of them! . . . and those that supply them have to get some immediate tangible benefit or you are going to be told to stuff your human-power.

          • javadavis

            EDIT: Calories crossed my mind while I was posting that, but I thought it was long enough already. Calories are a lot easier to come by, I am guessing, here (like at an occupy protest) than in the out back of Africa where power is hard to come by. There are myriad ways of collecting and distributing renewable power, though. Bottom line – let me have my little bit of hope, just for today, please (end edit)
            Yeah, that sewing machine was Heavy! The treadle, flywheel and connecting mechanism were all cast metal, and you couldn’t even (practically speaking) take it all apart to move it. But how many sewing machines does a small community need, anyway? Metaphorically speaking, that is.
            I checked out the gravity light, and that sucker costs nearly $100 – not small change for the non-electric-grid communities, but maybe something that the community could band together to purchase if it fit their needs.
            I’ve also come across a windmill with vanes out of sheet aluminum and numerous parts out of plastic (3d printed). He sells plans for under 15 US and talks about the engineering that went into it, like it is designed not to over-power, has safeties built in if the wind gets too strong…
            There are people out there working on this stuff who are a lot more knowledgeable than me. I just wish they had been able to get more support while our societies were drunk on oil, gas and coal. We should be a lot farther ahead on that tech than we are now.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Speaking of light, are American wingnuts still refusing to switch to the new, efficient light bulbs? That was a thing they vowed to do, I recall.

    • Persistent Demme

      I remember one woman, responding to Obama’s call for conservation, by declaring that the “government” wasn’t going to tell HER what to do!
      She turned on all the lights in her house, including her closets.
      Guess she showed him!
      (Ha, ha, ha!)

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        That’s like the tell the Starbucks barista your name is Trump or burning your NFL swag that you paid good money for

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I knew a woman who said the same thing about child car seats 35 years ago, but today she denies she ever said it.

    • aureolaborealis

      Yep. A former HS friend regularly posts right-wing ‘humor’ from the I Hate Hippies And Their Stupid Light Bulbs FB page. He tried to shit on me about using low-energy bulbs. Then I said, with electricity costing so much, it’s cheaper to buy super efficient $10 bulbs that will last years than shitty incandescent bulbs that suck energy and need regular replacing. Then he shut up, at least to me. I assume he moved on to softer targets.

      • UnsaltedSinner

        But it’s the principle of the thing!

      • JohnBull

        Like a mosque?

      • doktorzoom

        Oh dear. That’s a real FB page.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Funny thing…the first heavy adapters of cell phones were African countries like Zaire (now Congo) where the landline grid was fucked. The same thing might hold true for solar, if the fossil fuel industry and its boytoys like Perry can keep their thumbs off the scale.

    • Sakonyachen

      I think putting their thumb on the scale will actually further interest in solar. The African Nations may not know how to handle every problem in the best way, but they know lying morons when they see them.

      • Regret

        Objection.
        Assumes evidence that was not presented.

  • Sakonyachen

    “Why the hell does that little girl’s village need all the costly infrastructure of coal mines or oil wells, plus generating stations, plus miles and miles of transmission line, to bring her that light?”

    Why ask a question…

    “The really hot trend in Africa right now — for American and African entrepreneurs — is small, local solar development, where a few panels and a local microgrid are enough to provide power for a whole village at far lower infrastructure cost to the villagers. Cleaner energy, more affordable, and more local autonomy, hurrah!”

    When you already have the answer?

    • doktorzoom

      You’re on to me.

      • davej1s

        That sounds like something you, well not YOU specifically, would say to Kevin Spacey.

  • Sakonyachen

    Also, too, this is the second time a Wonkette blogpost has reminded me this maggot jizz gulping, pencil sharpener fucking, Hoofwanking Bunglecunt Whoremonkey is in charge of anything more important than removing his own dick from the vacuum hose.

  • One of the most dangerous chores in the developing world is gathering firewood for cooking purposes. Solar cookers would eliminate the need for this time-consuming task that exposes mainly women and children to risk of attack by animals or bad hombres.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Very true. It’s not only dangerous, it’s also hard work and very time consuming.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I had high hopes for this group. They created a composting system that collects the resulting gases for use in cooking.

      https://homebiogas.com/

    • davej1s

      Also, getting and transporting water is a vulnerability for the same groups.

  • NotReallyHere

    from Rick Perry’s quote:

    …because I’m not going to have to try to read by the light of a fire and have those fumes literally killing people.’ …So from the standpoint of how you really affect peoples lives, fossil fuels is going to play a role in that.

    So, he acknowledges that fumes from home fires are killing people, but fumes from fossil fuels are A-OK??

    Also, half-dumb is a huge step up for Rick Perry.

    • phoenix00

      The fumes have certainly done something to Rick Perry.

      • NotReallyHere

        So, that’s what’s wrong with him!

        • phoenix00

          That and a whole lot more.

  • Bright Bart

    if girls have cars they can run over rapists?
    too soon?

  • JoeChristmas

    Everybody knows recycling makes you gay.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    My local rural electric coop has a plan called the “Community Solar Project”. According to their website, it is a “100-kilowatt solar farm, made up of 400 320-watt panels, that is expected to generate an average of 41 kWh of electricity per panel each month (based on annual anticipated output). The cost of a kWh from the solar farm is 15.95¢. With the average output, the premium added to a Community Solar member’s bill would be $2.65 per panel per month.”

    In other words, they want me to pay $2.65/month extra to receive electricity generated by the community panels, rather than pay a large upfront cost to install panels on my own house (which I could NEVER afford). I have not decided whether to become a member or not…but it sounds very attractive.

  • Erala Contratista

    I had no idea that PGE includes righteousness in their services.
    Can’t find it on my bill.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      I always thought this was righteous:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwGs30cPs_A

      • Erala Contratista

        I’m embarrassed a bit. Forgot those guys! And me a norcallian ;-)
        Thank!

      • (((Aron)))

        The greatest rebuttal in history.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          I was ready.

    • CafeenMan

      It’s built into the oil molecules. Science, people!

  • Johnatx

    So, worst Texas governor in recent years: Bush, Perry or Abbott? I go with Abbott

    • mancityRed6

      Brownback
      wait, I misunderstood my answer.

    • (((Aron)))

      Abbott makes me embarrassed to travel to Texas for work.

  • demmie36

    Every good hustler knows not to bleed his marks dry. Step it up, Rick Perry!

  • Regret

    Ah yes, the ‘all rapists have night vision’ argument.
    Fuck it, I’m done for today. Have a good day y’all.

  • phoenix00
    • phoenix00
      • Thorn Spike

        Oh, dear Lord.

        • (((Aron)))

          DJ Honky all up in this piece!

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        THIS ISN’T REAL I AM NOT SEEING THAT

      • insolenttomato

        Secretary of Energy, or Secretary of NRG??

        • phoenix00

          Secretary of…. everyone’s secretaries.

    • resisting and persisting

      When your “smart glasses” aren’t doing a thing.

    • CafeenMan

      WTF is that???

      • phoenix00

        Rick Perry on Dancing With The Stars

  • bluicebank

    Rick Perry proves the adage, “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”

  • Mike

    Only the best and brightest…

    I wanted to say that back in my day, a clown like this would either be hospitalized and medicated or roam the streets tipping over the odd trash bin in search of dinner….but Perry and I come from the same era…damn we’re fucked.

  • Kooolest G

    here’s a company doing solar lights that’s actually a partnership with a nigerian company
    http://www.lumos-global.com

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    “while they definitely generate electricity, there’s no reason to treat them as the only, or even the best, solution to the needs of the developing world.”

    And of course, that’s assuming the people can even afford.

    Just FUCK Rick Perry. Weren’t they arguing coal prevented domestic violence a week or three ago?

    Fuckers.

    • At least we see now their plan on what to do with all that coal no one else wants to buy; foist it on Africa.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    P.S. Great fucking piece Dok.

  • bubbuhh

    SO, Trumps only raped in the dark?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Not according to the Donald.

  • ken_kukec

    It’s a crying shame Rick Perry’s mind isn’t a clean, well-lighted place.

  • The one time I was assaulted, there were lights on. Lots of lights.
    So fuck off, Perry.
    Fuck the fuck off and keep fucking off until you cannot fuck off any further.

    • Sarah E. Grove

      And then go fuck off some more Ricky.

      • (((Aron)))

        Also, fuck off, Secretary Perry.

  • Moni

    Dear Mr. Perry, please for your abysmal reputation’s sake please stop giving your uneducated input on everything. Also while lights are a nice thing to have so you can see if someone is following you more easily light doesn’t magically stop assaults from happening.

    • irishdave3

      Plus light allows the would-be attacker to see how she is dressed and asking for it?

    • Sarah E. Grove

      That, and you typically don’t see rapists seeking to rape their victims in the middle of well-lighted areas. How can only one man in this country be so stupid? (well, two, if you count orange idiots.)

  • Zyxomma

    There are numerous solar powered solutions. Here’s one I like: https://inhabitat.com/new-solar-powered-mini-lamp-produces-2-types-of-light-for-4-hours/

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Just think how much rape will decrease when the air is so bad none of us can breathe. It’s hard to be a rapist after you have suffocated.

  • Thorn Spike

    Does Rick know they have the sun in Africa? Like, a LOT of it.

    • irishdave3

      Jimmy Dick Perry was raised up with the learnin that God put Africa where the sun don’t shine, hence the Dark Continent. It’s not his fault!

  • 1PeterG1

    Would I be
    right in thinking that sexual predators must be like cats and see
    better in the dark? Because otherwise they’d need light to pick out
    their prey wouldn’t they? Can you imagine how awful it would be for any
    self respecting rapist to jump a dude by accident?

  • 1PeterG1

    Then there ‘s this:

    Guess what happened to those areas where illumination was switched to
    brighter LED based lighting that uses much less energy and by doing so
    reduced the demand for oil AND therefore helped improve America’s trade
    deficits which still require a lot of imported oil? Did I mention this new technology creates jobs?

    It just goes to show there’s no idiot like a Republican idiot. I must therefore respectfully disagree with Wonkette’s editorial assessment. It is even dumber than it seems.

    • 1PeterG1

      By it, I meant Perry’s babbling. I felt I should clarify that.

  • Tiny kaiju

    Does Perry not realize people get raped during the day time too? In broad daylight even.

  • The Librarian

    I wonder what kind of light bulbs Perry uses at his house? The one over his head is always burned out.

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