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Happy Halloween, Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

People have been combing through Robert Mueller’s paperwork for a day now, and it looks like Paul Manafort and Sam Clovis might be the unnamed officials who talked to George Papadopoulos about meetings with creepo Russians.

Chris Hayes had ANOTHER super weird interview with Carter Page, and Twitter had all sorts of fun with it.

Eric Trump is already fundraising off the indictment of Paul Manafort in a new email begging for spare change as their daddy is “still standing.”

All the palace intrigue stories have many giggly bits about Trump stomping around the White House like a grounded child as staffers steer clear of his white, hot rage.

Republicans don’t think that Trump is about to “You’re Fired” Robert Mueller, so they don’t see any reason to pass any bills protecting Mueller’s investigation.

Former President Bannon has been quietly working on a plan to kill the Trump-Russia investigation by strong-arming Congress critters to limit Mueller’s capacity to dig up dirt.

A small company listed in the indictment of Paul Manafort was paid money by the RNC around the same time Manafort was involved in Ukrainian fuckery.

John Kelly isn’t going to apologize for being a dickhead and lying about Rep. Frederica Wilson, saying that he has witnesses.

Kelly also says that we should stop pulling down Confederate statues because those slave owners were just misunderstood patriots fighting for their perceived right to enslave black people.

A federal judge has blocked big chunks of Trump’s military trans ban, but did uphold the part about the US government not funding sex reassignment surgeries.

Tony Podesta has stepped down from his high-profile lobbying group after its fuckery with Paul Manafort was revealed, sending shockwaves through political power circles on the Hill and K Street. (Newsflash, slavering both sidesers: Dems don’t care.)

Now that everyone has other shit to pay attention to, the FBI will slowly release all of its JFK files after it finishes redacting anything of actual substance.

Congressional Republicans hoping to shower themselves in oil kickbacks are full of sads over reports that drilling in ANWR might not be worth the Ameros as oil prices continue to tumble.

Don’t listen to Trump-slut Devin Nunes. Russia does not have “20 percent of our uranium.”

A new Gallup poll shows Trump has his LOWEST RATINGS EVER, with his disapprovals up over 62 percent.

Trump is expected to tap Jerome Powell as the next Fed Chairman; he’s a Republican who, as one Trump official put it, is the “safe” choice that continues Trump’s habit of picking people from “central casting.”

This hilarious silly story about a Michigan man busted for weed and representing himself in court is “Pure Michigan.”

We’ve talked about Jared Kushner’s real estate company fucking poor people in Baltimore (twice). Now the Maryland AG is investigating Kushner Companies for its ALLEGED routine practice of poor fucking. It’s a good morning, Baltimore!

The US military suddenly decided to censor its Afghanistan reports, which is a smart maneuver to keep people from getting pissed about the war they’re paying for.

Reports are coming in that as many as 200 people were killed during a cave-in at North Korea’s nuclear test site, which would seem to confirm reports that the site may have been suffering from “tired mountain syndrome,” limiting their ability to test future nuclear weaponry.

Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov is bitching that it is not fucking with elections around the world, and it certainly didn’t fuck with the 2016 US elections.

Later today, Facebook, Google and Twitter will go before Congress where they’ll admit that as many as 126 million users potentially saw Trump-Russia propaganda pushed by trolls. The surprising thing here is how close Mark Zuckerberg comes to admitting that he fucked up.

Facebook has released the infographic it sent to advertisers during the 2016 election, and while it’s nothing that isn’t already known throughout industry circles, you may crap yourself when you see just how much personal information you send to Facebook.

Corporate douchewaffle and FCC Chairman Ajit Pai wants to impose funding caps on the Lifeline program (AKA Obamaphones), another poor-fucking maneuver which will be aimed at your mom probably.

We do not condone the efforts of online vigilantes who are dragging white supremacists out of their safespaces and doxxing them to their friends, family, and colleagues, but we’re also not condemning them either.

Russian trolls have been pushing the idea of a “war on Christmas” by selling poorly spelled sweaters and quasi-Christmas crap.

Sadly, we must inform you of the passing of Dennis Banks, one of the most important activists in the American Indian Movement. Banks was instrumental in expanding American Indian goods and culture around the world, as well as the occupations of Alcatraz and Wounded Knee.

After more women came out to talk about Mark Halperin rubbing his dick up against them, Halperin was “You’re Fired” from NBC and MSNBC as a talking head that nobody like anyway. Bye, Felicia!

Pat Robertson isn’t even praying to Jeebus, he’s just straight-up begging Donald Trump to pardon Paul Manafort and friends, stating, “There’s no such thing as the president obstructing justice if he talks to one of his people in the Justice Department…” I guess the power of Christ hasn’t compelled him.

Hannity lost his shit (again) last night and began making shit up about President Hillary Clinton, Obama, uranium, and how Robert Mueller is obstructing justice.

Rupert Murdoch’s media empire is going balls deep into the Hannity insanity in order to avoid talking about Trump-Russia.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert wished everyone a very Mueller ChristmasSeth Meyers took A Closer Look at Mueller time; The Daily Show thinks Mueller is getting close to being a Bond villain; Jordan Klepper peeked into the scary locker room.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! HALLOWEENY ANIMAL FRENDOS!


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  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Caption for photo at top: “Tiny-handed monster standing next to a T. Rex”

    • Suttree

      I really hope that’s Spicer in the costume!

      • Oblios_Cap

        It’s probably Pence.

  • Oblios_Cap
    • Mpeg

      Upfisting because, Leatherface.
      (RIP Gunnar dude who played him, a year or so ago yeah but still~)

    • JohnBull

      Hey, have you seen the price of razors lately?

      • Suttree

        Can you trade them for drugs like Tide? AFAF

      • onedollarjuana

        Yeah, but the Dollar Shave Club saves me tons of money come Hallowe’en!

    • Baconzgood

      Meth and razor apples? That’s a tough block to trick-or-treat.

    • Nockular cavity

      Huh. Now they’re believing OUR propaganda.

    • NastyBossetti

      I’m the worst at Halloween. I didn’t pick up my meth and razor apples early enough, and all that was left at the store was candy!

      • I am getting a massage and going to the bar instead of the answering the door.

        Sorry cats!

    • aureolaborealis

      Nah. Rich kids get candy, poor kids get Dots.

      (Also, I feel like I would remember it if the Halloweens of my impoverished youth had involved any angry, days-long trick-or-treating and anonymous sex binges.)

      http://tootsie.com/core/files/tootsie/products/fd254a3e8a875462c9ad9ea21c546f64.png

      • Ahem. I LOVE dots. I ALWAYS have dots in my house.

        But not the tropical.

        • aureolaborealis

          #STOCKHOLMSYNDROME

  • Nounverb911
  • ariel_gee_398

    John Kelly isn’t going to apologize for being a dickhead and lying about Rep. Frederica Wilson, saying that he has witnesses.

    I think you misspelled “whiteness” there.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Whitenesses? Plural?

    • Khavrinen

      Hmmm, notoriously unreliable eye-witness testimony, or actual video of her speech — which should we believe? It’s just so hard to decide.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      I think it more likely a faithful transcript of Kelly mispronouncing “whiteness” there.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Kelly also says that we should stop pulling down Confederate statues because those slave owners were just misunderstood patriots fighting for their perceived right to enslave black people.

    Oh, that’s why he took the worst job in DC…

    • BadKitty904

      He earned it.

      • Oblios_Cap

        And now he’s a slave to the Bunglecunt Man-Child.

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        And deserves it.

        • BadKitty904

          Amen.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      The Confederate slave owners were the patriots!? Kelly is not only an soulless, immoral fuck, he’s also a moran. You don’t get to be an American patriot and wage war against the United States, and especially those officer fucks who resigned commissions in the US military to fight for the other side. Kelly is a fucking abomination.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Kinda makes you want to ask if there’s a single Republican in Washington who isn’t a white supremacist.

  • Baconzgood
  • Nounverb911
  • BadKitty904
    • coozledad

      I got one of them cockatiels. They love to dance.

    • The Wanderer

      My doctor has asked me to cut back a tad on the caffeine. I started the day with some Republic of Tea Vanilla Almond, and I just finished my hot cocoa.

    • Nockular cavity

      You’re cut off.

      • BadKitty904

        Aw, man…

  • Oblios_Cap

    the site may have been suffering from “tired mountain syndrome,” limiting their ability to test future nuclear weaponry.

    I’d say “good”, except for the part at the end that says the peninsula as a whole might suffer earthquakes as a result of L’il Kim playing God.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Remember all those photos where Kelly seemed to be hanging his head in shame and desperation over something Trump said? He was really all “Donnie, I love you, man!” under his breath.

  • Suttree
  • dshwa
    • Oblios_Cap

      The Korean lady lies with more enthusiasm.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        To be fair, there is a much more robust incentive system in place in North Korea, and it encourages enthusiasm. But I sometimes think we might catch up one day….

      • aureolaborealis

        She also lies more honestly, if that makes any sense.

    • JohnBull

      I feel sorry for the Korean lady–she didn’t choose to grow up there and we don’t want to imagine what would happen if she went off script. The dingbat on the left enjoys being a lying weasel.

      • dshwa

        Fair. Although Sanders grew up as her daddy’s daughter as well, how much choice did she really have? More than NK news lady, but not much more.

    • arglebargle
    • Nockular cavity

      Somebody ought to take the audio from that latest unhinged Dana Loesch video, and put it as the translation to a North Korea propaganda rant. It would fit perfectly.

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      I thought she saw his lizard dick. It’s not like she’s seen a peen over 2 inches in the last 10 years. At least, not when Donnie’s around.

      • aureolaborealis

        She’s probably used to the scales and the slime, tho.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Once you’ve gone T-Rex,
      From your own husband you will withhold sex.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I see Liddle’ Baby Donnie got out of the basket again.

    • Bright Bart

      she’s not looking at the hands. also its fake melania.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      When I saw that, my first thought wasn’t that she was looking at his hands.

  • Khavrinen

    “Republicans don’t think that Trump is about to “You’re Fired” Robert Mueller”

    ?!?!?
    Have any of them met Trump?
    I find it impossible to believe that firing Mueller is something he won’t try.

    • Arolpin

      “Republicans don’t think.”

      FTFY

  • coozledad

    John Kelly is one of those deluded Yankees who thinks he could pass for a shitkicker in the South.

    If he walked into a backcountry bar here, the authorities would find his find his mick ass hide draped over some disused ag equipment in the woodline. I don’t care how big a racist piece of shit you are, if you ain’t from around here, you ain’t part of the hallucination. They’ll kill you like they’d kill a snake.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      He should move to Texas. They have a fantastic Yankee Immigration policy (See Dan Patrick, Ted Cruz and the Bush family).

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      A racist AND a poser. Is there any way we could love him more?

    • A damn yankee is a damn yankee according to my local peeps.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Hell, I’ve lived here in Lower Alabama 30 years, and some folks still consider me a damn Yankee. I don’t care, though. We won the war.

        • I’ve been in NW NC for 25 years. I’m still called a “move in”.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yankees in Maine are that way too. To a transplant who’s kids were born there, they say “just because a cat has kittens in the oven don’t make ’em muffins.”.

        • Spurning Beer

          Where you at, OC? Tallahassee? I’m in Pensacola.

          • Oblios_Cap

            good guess!

      • coozledad

        Way I was brought up.

        It takes a long time for most people to get a good idea of just how fucking stupid and crazy people are down here.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “I grab ’em by the hoohaw. They let you get away with anything when you’re a T-Rex.”

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      With those short little arms? C’awn!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        NO SHORT ARMS! NO SHORT ARMS! YOU’RE THE SHORT ARMS!

        I get no complaints in that department, by the way.

  • Put On Your War Paint!
  • Oblios_Cap

    The US military suddenly decided to censor its Afghanistan reports, which is a smart maneuver to keep people from getting pissed about the war they’re paying for.

    I’m sure they know what they’re doing. I mean, we haven’t spent nearly enough accomplishing next to nothing there. Yet.

    • Suttree

      Like anyone remembers Afghanistan, much less pays any attention to it.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Former President Bannon has been quietly working on a plan to kill the Trump-Russia investigation by strong-arming Congress critters to limit Mueller’s capacity to dig up dirt.

    Wait, I thought the investigation was proving Hillary Did It™. Why would they try to kill it?

  • BadKitty904

    A very odd read, in re: Trump, et al.:

    http://popbitch.com/2017/10/iv-electile-dysfunction/

    • bupkus231

      Interesting history of the tabloids, and of AMI’s need to feed the base – but I think the piece goes a little too far ( too optimistic, I mean ) in thinking that that one anti-Manafort story a couple of months ago signals a potential for David Pecker and AMI to turn against Rump.

      • BadKitty904

        Agreed.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    No surprise that Kelly was talking to Laura Ingraham at the time. Everyone knows that bigots, when they feel comfortable with someone they know shares their views, really open up about their racism. It’s like an encounter session.

  • Suttree

    “Please send us a dollar. Or whatever change you can find in the house. Is granny dying? She probably has some good pills you could send us. If not, how about those dentures? They have silver in them. We’ll take auto titles too! Praise jesus. Thank you ingrate Americans!”
    -Eric

  • BadKitty904
  • Michael R

    A gentle reminder :

    Mueller has access to Trump’s taxes

  • Oblios_Cap

    Pat Robertson isn’t even praying to Jeebus

    I always figured Pat prayed to Pat. I wish Jesus would pardon us and send that old fucker to Hell.

    • Khavrinen

      I always figured he prayed to his bank account, same as the other televangelists.

    • The Wanderer

      My question to Jesus is, “Why is Pat Robertson still alive?”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Oblios_Cap

      Tell him she’s got a lunch appointment with him. Alone.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Mother will need to keep a close eye on him today.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      And the Trumpers scream “no fair, it was just supposed to be about Russia!” Because the other crimes don’t matter, maybe? Not that it’s not unconnected, anyway, but I just enjoy the selective nature of their hypocrisy.

      • Bill D. Burger

        I just laugh and post “Whitewater….look into it.”

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “There’s no such thing as a Republican president obstructing justice if he talks to one of his people in the Justice Department…”

    –FTFY Pat

  • Baconzgood

    Happy Halloween.

  • Bill D. Burger

    BOO! ___ You Fucking Moron! Happy Halloween.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNbF2LzW0AE_ywO.jpg

  • Old town Urbandale

    Man oh man, I’m hoping Iowans stick together and Sam Clovis squeals about something that will take Senator Chuck Grassley down.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
  • Bill D. Burger
    • puredog

      “murderni”?

  • TundraGrifter

    So much happened on Monday Night Lights Out it was difficult to untangle and understand it all. Happily, we have the excellent Rachel Maddow to guide us. She focused on George Papadopoulos and it’s a fascinating part of the whole story. Arrested the day after the pre-dawn raid on Manafort’s home (a day after his testimony before Congress), the arrest was kept secret for months. No leaks from the watertight Mueller Team, smooth professionals who have done this before. Why did Papadopoulos pled guilty yesterday, the same day Manafort and Gates were hauled in? I would presume Mueller is done with him. The lemon has been squeezed dry. And Mr. Mueller has made his lemoncello from it.

    • cmd resistor

      Actually he pled on October 5 but that plea was sealed and only unsealed yesterday.

      • TundraGrifter

        Thank you for the correction! Just another example of how watertight Team Mueller remains. They don’t leak.

  • PubOption

    I’m not expecting any tricks from Trump today, but there will be Tweets.

    • Crystalclear12

      God help us.

      • TundraGrifter

        Mueller will.

  • BadKitty904

    To save us all time, what with the full fury of the Holidays about to engulf us, let’s just sum the next several months’ worth of Twitterocy right now. Ready? Altogether, now!

    I AM NOT A CROOK!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9cf29eb5c8c301c3fff2dc10f068289a8823c8b913a23a450b29ad7cda30199a.jpg

    • JohnBull

      I wasn’t around during Nixon, but would he be an improvement over what we have now?

      • Suttree

        Yes. Nixon established the EPA.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Went to Russia and China, too. Closet Commie!

        • Doug Langley

          Even proposed universal health. Shot down by, believe it or not, Ted Kennedy. Truth is stranger than fiction.

          • ImGoingBacon

            As I understand it, Ted was greedy, and thought he could get more out of Nixon than just universal health care. He couldn’t get the extra, and Nixon pulled the offer.

        • Impatient

          Wasn’t our current negative income tax (actual cash payments, for those who are extremely poor) actually started by Nixon?

          • Suttree

            I do not know. He still looks like a saint in comparison.

      • BadKitty904

        Me, neither, but – to the best of my knowledge – he never betrayed America to the Russians…

        • Doug Langley

          Not exactly. He did sabotage the peace talks with the Vietnamese. Although historians argue on how effective that was.

          • BadKitty904

            Yeah, how’d that work out for him?

          • Doug Langley

            Well, he went on to become President. LBJ found out, but didn’t say anything, so no one knew.

      • BadKitty904
        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          50?! How about AOT,K?

          • bupkus231

            IQ doesn’t go into negative numbers, does it?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          The deepest days of his Watergate paranoia? He was wandering the halls at night, drunk on his ass, talking to the portrait of Lincoln.

          I obviously don’t have any fond opinions of Henry Kissinger, but he did caution the joint chiefs to check with him before implementing a Nixon order to launch nukes.

          Now, we have John Kelly standing between us and armageddon. Our only hope when Donnie pushes the button is that he aims those things at a country full of whites.

      • Doug Langley

        I didn’t pay too much attention to politics at the time, but my impression was 1: Nixon at least tried to look Presidential, and 2: all the media and fellow Republicans realized things were going too far.

  • Crystalclear12

    John Kelly isn’t going to apologize for being a dickhead and lying about Rep. Frederica Wilson, saying that he has witnesses.

    Oh crap, claiming he has witnesses!?
    Too late to save him he’s gone full Trump.

    • Hollandaise

      I’d say “I hope there are tapes”, but there are tapes and we’ve already seen them. This alternate reality shit is going to get worse before it gets better isn’t it?

    • Suttree

      He also said that he “waved them off”, because who the fuck knows. His word is bond apparently.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Never go Full Trump.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Reports are coming in that as many as 200 people were killed during a cave-in at North Korea’s nuclear test site, which would seem to confirm reports that the site may have been suffering from “tired mountain syndrome,” limiting their ability to test future nuclear weaponry.

    First, they crater the economy, then they attack the smart citizens who decided to live in caves and live off the land…

  • Bill D. Burger
    • ImGoingBacon

      Marty Feldman (R.I.P) libels!

  • The Wanderer

    “Do I look like an attorney?” Visner said, seated in his orange, jail-issued jumpsuit. “I don’t subscribe to your bar license BS. There’s no such thing as a licensed lawyer.

    That story about the pot dealer in Michigan is pure comedy gold.

    • It really is. Dok wanted to do a thing on it, but there’s just so many more important things.

    • SweetDeeKat

      As a former prosecutor, I admit that many of us were dorks.

  • TundraGrifter

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders – Campaign? What campaign? You’re the campaign! Who would think the campaign manager had anything to do with the campaign?

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Republicans, don’t underestimate Trump’s stupidity. Protect Bob, at all costs.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Why would they? He’ll probably take down the RNC, too.

      • Khavrinen

        Wouldn’t that be sweet?!

      • bbayliss

        Why do you think they’re obstructing?

        • Oblios_Cap

          I think the whole GOP is in cahoots with the Russians.

          • bbayliss

            Why do you think Ryan wants to “keep it in the family”

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    From the “tired mountain syndrome” link:

    A senior North Korean diplomat made clear that Pyongyang does not plan to hold any talks with Washington about its nuclear programme, saying that possessing the weapons was a matter of life and death for the country..

    That is kind of true, what with the stupidity of the Trump Admin trying to kill the deal with Iran, it will prove to pariah nations that the only way to prevent a Shock-and-Awe regime change is to possess nuclear warheads.

    • BadKitty904

      There’s been rumors for months that Putin has been leaking nuclear tech to North Korea in order to provoke a war between the US and China. Still, I’d think Beijing wouldn’t be too thrilled with having a nutcase like Lil’ Kim sitting on their border with nukes.

      • The Wanderer

        The current Kim is Littler Kim. Li’l Kim was his dad. His successor would be Kim the Even Littler.

        • BadKitty904

          Tiny Kim? “God help us, every one.

          • ImGoingBacon

            Tiptoe, through the tulips.

          • Notreelyhelping

            “Psst. Don’t say anything about the crutches.”

        • MrTusks

          Tiny Kim.

        • SweetDeeKat

          Shit, has Littler Kim produced male spawn yet?

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        My bet is the Hydrogen warhead/s tested by the DPRK are Russian dial-a-yield hand-me-downs.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      NK watched U.S. knock down fellow “Axis of Evil” nation Iraq and knew what to do next.

      • Put On Your War Paint!

        Exactly. I’ve never been a fan of the DPRK but these moves make strategic sense from their perspective. This is why we need a Department of State and not fucking “businessmen” in the G.

      • bbayliss

        Never forget; Axis of evil belongs to David Frum.

    • bbayliss

      Who could have know that there would be consequences for Bush’s foreign policy?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I half expect Liddle’ Baby Donnie to end his predisency with a profane, fascistic, unhinged public rant. Probably over a story about his weight: “Big Ass, Liddle’ Hands”

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Notreelyhelping

      Hello, Geico? Hello? Hello?

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Hands are too big.

      • Bill D. Burger

        She should have used doll hands. Guess she wanted to make a point and used some hyperbole! ;)

      • aureolaborealis

        And he doesn’t grope old hags like Melania. Isn’t she, like, 40 or something?

    • Bright Bart

      fake melon libelzzzzz!

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Is willful ignorance or sheer stupidity the reason wingnuts cannot differentiate between going to Russia to get information on an opponent because that’s where the alleged crimes occurred and going TO the Russians for help in getting information on your opponent?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “Kelly also says that we should stop pulling down Confederate statues…”

    Sure General, tell that to the people who tore down Lenin’s statue, or Saddam Hussein’s or…well, you get the point. An oppressed population, once freed from oppression, doesn’t want to glorify their oppressors with statues. Decent people agree with them. Get the fuck out with your bullshit.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Impatient

      After the Comey/New York FBI agent/Giuliani ratfucking of 10/28/2016, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to look at those jackets without becoming a bit “nauseous.”

      Remember, another piece of background behind this whole shitstorm … is that we’ve got a law enforcement community that’s conservative/reactionary. This is a serious long-term problem. And the New York office of the FBI is apparently infested with conservative/catholic/evangelical rats.

      Our scary and sad FBI. And Comey thought he could just rehabilitate this ratfucking bureau by running some feel-good, reality TV about the New York ratfuckers. Fuck you Comey! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! There are dead individuals, whose names we know, because YOU enabled these Trump pieces of shit. Please don’t tell me that your evangelical Comey household is cool with all this because, hey, you got Gorsuch* and a raft of other conservative judges to follow.

      Did I say FUCK YOU, Jim-Boy? Fuck you.

      (But … how do I really feel?)

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Doesn’t Eric Drumpf have a business to run? I hear he gave up golf after he fell off the ball washer.

    • Khavrinen

      “No, Eric, we’ve told you before, it’s supposed to be for washing golf balls. Now put your pants back on, and lets head to the next hole.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    ‘One America, under Putin….’

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNd9RnEW0AEPREV.jpg

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Больше плевать, Дональд. И мне нравится зрительный контакт
      (More spit, Donald. And I like eye contact.

  • Baconzgood

    I can’t wait for Trump Tweets. They CAN’T watch him every second of the day. I mean, he has to crap some time today?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • lucidamente

    I swear I read that as “John Kelly isn’t going to apologize for being a dickhead and lying about Rep. Frederica Wilson, saying that he has whiteness.”

    • bupkus231

      Ya know – he SAYS he has witnesses, but unlike Frederica Wilson, none of those witnesses have apparently spoken up. Coild Kelly’s “witnesses” just be witless lies from another Rump taint-licker?

      Fick you , “adult in the room”. At this point, I would not trust him to keep the nuclear football away from Rump.

      • cmd resistor

        Not to mention his initial smear on her was clearly referring to a speech that he didn’t think video existed of.

        • bupkus231

          Well, he now claims that the remarks he lied about came off-camera ( a distinction he didn’t make in his first lies ).

          Somebody oughta tell him that if you’re “correcting” yourself after being proved wrong, people just might not afford you any credibility.

  • CeeQ

    John Kelly is a racist – color me not at all surprised given how he’s treated Rep. Wilson.

    In other news – Eric Trump secretly rejoicing at being “the dumb Trump” and hence barred from attending any important campaign meetings during 2016. He may be the only Trump left standing after the dust settles. Which would be so hilarious 😆😆

    • BadKitty904
      • CeeQ

        😆😆😭😭

      • OutOfOrbit

        i remember they had the best parties, tricks and treats. the best. believe me

      • aureolaborealis

        That saw is shockingly lacking in modern safety equipment. A mass-murderer could get himself hurt.

    • BigCSouthside

      an Irish catholic white guy who grew up in Boston in the 50s and 60s is racist. Color me shocked

      • CeeQ

        Yup

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      A petty quibble, they’re all dumb. He is the Dumbest Trump.

  • folderol

    (to the tune of Miller Beer jingle)

    When it’s time to indict
    One thing is clear: (you’d better fear)
    Mueller’s got the goods to bury you

    So when there’s no hope in sight
    Oh, you poor dear (sorry to hear)
    You’re gonna do time, it’s all too clear…
    Mueller’s here!

  • CeeQ

    You guys – yesterday was glorious. Now I’m waiting to see if more hammers will drop on Team Trump and I’m enjoying Trump’s impotent rage tweets. Happy Halloween!!
    🎃 🎃🎃😱😱

  • Major_Major_Major

    Wait a sec, Richard Spencer’s hometown is Whitefish, Montana? Why does that sound familiar? Sometimes I can be a bit slow

  • Nounverb911
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Who is Al Roker supposed to be? I am assuming these are specific country singers they are dressed up as.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Willie Nelson.

        • Khavrinen

          Wonder how “authentic” he’s going to make his costume. Does the Today Show require drug testing?

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          cmon, even I knew that (tho I admit I didn’t recognize Roker.. its been awhile)

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Black Jesus (Don’t tell Megyn Kelly)!

    • bbayliss

      WTF?

    • natoslug

      I’m sick of people trying to appropriate my culture.

  • BadKitty904

    Given their sub-normal levels of intelligence and competence, it will be interesting to see what Trump/the GOP do as they panic…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/aed46cc5be42d10526c414259fcb418c195e7d7ae6a9aacb81bb294e1edb815f.gif

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Politico:

    “Florida Sen. Marco Rubio hit the trail for Virginia Republican Ed Gillespie on Monday night, defending him from Democratic criticism that he’s running a racially tinged campaign a week before Virginia elects its next governor.”

    This is fucking hilarious. Trump has gotten his troops all riled up against brown people, then his boy for VA Gov sends in a brown person to say the guy ain’t against brown people, when being against brown people is one their core principles, and do ya think they’re gonna give a shit what a brown person says, anyway.

    • I love Marco Rubio. He’s his own worst enemy. Watching him take one step forward just to fall down the stairs is a highlight of my life.

    • cmd resistor

      Marco is a pretty white brown person..

    • Antonin Dvorak

      They are probably thinking that it is mitigated by the fact that most brown people don’t like him either.

  • Impatient

    Ah, finally! A good morning! But then mundane, real-world “issues” are still with us. Like looking forward to browsing through Dominic’s daily glossary, while holding a full cup of coffee in my non-dominant hand, and knowing I’m about to sneeze! Can I put it down, without spilling? Can I hold it, and get through the sneeze? Serious problem! (I managed.) HAPPY DAY!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      You too! I thought I was the only one that sneezed while reading Dominic’s Wonkagenda.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    “as staffers steer clear of his white, hot rage.”

    Is it just me or is that comma funnier than it is supposed to be? What kind of hot rage? The kind that is white.

    • OutOfOrbit

      fucking commas what are they good for anyway

      • Absolutely, nothing.

        • Impatient

          say, it again

          • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

            I love you all.

        • Me not sure

          Say it again!
          Edit: drat.

          • Khavrinen

            Sometimes the non-comments just fly too fast to keep up with, don’t they?

          • Impatient

            Y’know, I got a big grin on my face, and I find I’m just likin’ EVERYTHING this morning! (Oops, too much punctiation.)

          • Me not sure

            Do I at least get grammar points?

          • Khavrinen

            Ask your own Grammar, both of mine are dead.

      • Impatient

        I’m coming back to your comment, and again speculating, ‘Many women might not care too much for periods either?’ And since I’m feeling almost giddy this morning, I typed up said weird thought. (Sorry, ladies. Please ignore me if bothersome.)

        • Spurning Beer

          But please, let’s skip the colon jokes, okay?

          • Impatient

            Okay then, I’ll put a slash through mine.

    • Spurning Beer

      That’s an example of the proper use of the Oxford Mississippi Comma.

      • bbayliss

        Good one!

    • Phoenixdoglover

      I was thinking hot, white rage.

    • Yellerduck

      Maybe it’s supposed to be ‘hawt’.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Inorite? I’m so used to seeing it phrased as “white-hot” because that’s a level or two up from “red-hot”, and the color and temperature are inextricably intertwined. But here we have a rage that can be white and hot separately or together.

  • Michael Smith

    Mueller: “And, Mr. President, we have here a book entitled ‘Colluding With Russia And Me (This Kind of Thing Is Definitely My Bag, Baby)’ written by Donald Trump.”

  • Douglas White

    OK, seriously. Is THIS how crazy things have gotten at Fox and on the right? That they are pretending it’s NOT a huge problem that the President of the United States, during his campaign, hired two men, one of whom RAN THE CAMPAIGN, who were both involved with multiple felonies with Russia at the time they were brought on board? How can anyone honestly be saying that isn’t BY ITSELF a huge scandal.

    Do these people not understand what the term ‘Kompromat’ means??? When Manafort and Gates were brought onto the campaign, Russia (and therefore Vladimir Putin) had the power to destroy them by simply dropping a bit of information to the FBI…. a few account numbers, some transaction IDs… and Manafort and/or Gates goes to prison. So they were both CLEARLY compromised by Russia. Now, If Putin and the Russians have even a tiny brain in their heads, they know that a few weeks after Manafort was hired, they can drop a message to someone in the Trump campaign saying “Hey, we have information that can send your ‘just appointed’ Campaign Chair to prison…. won’t THAT look good a few weeks after you had to fire the last guy…. hmmm? Can we maybe meet to discuss?”

    So, please….anyone….. explain how a candidate for POTUS being accused for the very first time in the long history of our nation of having his campaign run by a person compromised by foreign powers… and thus opening himself up for compromise…. how THAT is not a significant issue.

    And once we’ve covered THAT subject, we can talk Popadopolous.

    • Michael Smith

      I think after Watergate, right wing guys thought to themselves “Damn it, we need media out there representing our view – that if the President is conservative, nothing else he does matters. Wapo and NYT can bring facts to the public until the cows come home, but we need someone out there telling the public that facts don’t matter. And we need to start now, so that by the next time something like this happens, we will have sufficient public support so that a conservative President can survive a Watergate.”

    • From Russia with Love

      Somehow all three of these inductees into the Hall of Shame passed enough of a vetting process to get security clearances. That kinda leaves me scratching my helmet as well.

      • bupkus231

        The vetting process ( by the Rump transition team, if not the campaign itself ) was incompetent – they paid more attention to whether the person would be “loyal” ( more guys turned down because they had said something against Rump in the past ) than to whether the person could do the job they were being asked to do – never mind criminal history.

        As to getting their security clearences – one has to wonder. I know that the FBI contracted out background investigations in the past – so, I wonder if perhaps a contractor got paid off or was just incompetent ( the contractor doing my first BI interviewed my grandmother about my “character” for an hour or so before she finally told him we were related ). During another BI ( every 5 years ), I was asked to take a “national security” polygraph – which turned out to be conducted by an expert at a direct competitor of my company ( potential conflict of interest, no? I passed, so perhaps not ).

        SMH should be the least reaction.

        • From Russia with Love

          I had a TS/SCI for about 30 years. The paperwork every five years was daunting, given that I was in the AF and moved every few years and also have a German wife. Some years they crawled up my ass with a microscope and some not so much. But I can’t see how they missed this guy.

    • Hemp Dogbane

      They are strong on principles. The first one is Party over country.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      The short answer is, yes. They live in an absolute bubble world where our truth is their lies and vice versa. They’ve guzzled the kool-aid and believe the wool it pulled over their eyes allow them – and only them – to see things clearly. Faux News and talk radio have been building up to this for years; Sinclair Media is now looking to extend this chokehold over much of the rest of the country. They understand very well the power involved in controlling the narrative – including the power of sowing distrust. If I was a bible-believin’ sort of person, I might even quote Matthew 24:24 here.. which oddly, they never consider might apply to themselves.

    • This is so perfectly said. Every once in a while it’s important to be reminded how ABNORMAL everything in america is right now.

      Can you imagine if a dem had any one of trump’s problems? Like even a relatively small one, say, ONE cabinet member misusing military aircraft/public funds?

      Can you imagine?

      It’s like Andy Kaufman wrote a script for Republicans in 2017.

  • BadKitty904
    • OutOfOrbit

      look at them liddle biddy hands

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Nixon looked more sure when he said it.

  • Ellen D.
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Do I sense a bit of ironic satire in that costume?

      • Ellen D.

        Mueller sent in his grandkid, complete with MAGA hat…

    • OutOfOrbit

      “See the conductor? He’s waiting for you to board the train,” (to Hell)

    • BadKitty904

      Donald Judas Trump Is Visited by the Ghost of Indictments to Come…

      • Ellen D.

        I like it.

    • Spurning Beer

      “Make America Ghoulish Again”

  • cmd resistor

    Ok, so the dumbest thing I heard on the TV this morning was some Trump person (Caputo?) telling Chris Cuomo that Papadopoulos was just a “coffee boy” and if there’s anything resulting from him wearing a wire it’s just the coffee order, something, something, macchiato. Also, he’s just a “kid.”

    • From Russia with Love

      Gonna be humorous if he’s been recorded.

      • cmd resistor

        He repeated that “coffee boy” thing several times. He also admitted that the Russians did TRY to make inroads into the campaign but then claimed they were thwarted.

        • SweetDeeKat

          There’s a porn film to be made here.

    • bupkus231

      Caputo’s younger than I am – and he’s calling a 30-year-old a “kid”?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    “If you or I or anybody in this room with me now or watching TV with you, if we ever did anything close to what the Clintons, the DNC, and others did, we would be rotting in a jail cell tonight hoping our friends would send us a cake that had a file.”

    And with that, Hannity makes his official place of residence Cartoon Town.

    • TakingAmes

      It’s those elusive “others” who are really the problem here, Lumpy.

    • Zyxomma

      Toon Town’s residents LIBELZ!!11!!!1!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Put this in the wrong place…but it’s still worthy of a post! :)

  • Put On Your War Paint!

    I don’t even want to dress for Halloween. I’m tired of living in this shithole nation run by traitors and religious fanatics and racists and Grotesquely-stupid hate-filled wastes-of-skin.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I feel your pain. I’m trying to raise my daughter in a conservative state. She’s twelve and has already noticed the sexism rampant in her school. It depresses the fuck out of me. I am seriously looking at Canada, if they will have us and I can convince my wife.

    • From Russia with Love

      Fuck that. Halloween is the best adult party night of the year. Way better than New Year IMHO.

  • Relativicus

    The real John Kelly has stood up.

  • Shibusa

    Good thread. Ta-Nehisi Coates‏ is so smart and interesting.
    https://twitter.com/tanehisicoates/status/925289478943633408

    • We were reading that — it may be in a thing soon, but I can’t tell you yes/no. It is a good threat though.

      • Shibusa

        Mr. Shibusa is reading ‘We Were Eight Years in Power’ and loving it.

  • bbayliss

    Seven years ago Keith Olbermann told us what to expect. He was right, he’s no longer on TV:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPayKb39Kao

    • Impatient

      Damn! Jesus Fucking Christ! Sputter … sputter … sputter ……….

      This has to be faked! Nobody, absolutely nobody, can really hit a prediction so perfectly. Nostradamus is mostly an exaggerated mythical thing now. But Olbermann? Maybe it’ll be good if the corporations eventually just bury this video. Because watching it can only make us sad. Good night. Good luck?

      • bbayliss

        I first saw it a couple years ago and could not believe it either.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    You know, not thrilled about that ProPublica doxxing article.

    The displays of far-right extremism, sometimes called the “alt-right,”
    have occasionally been met with an anti-fascist opposition ready to use
    extreme methods, including violence, to push back. Such antifa members
    wound up in the clashes in Charlottesville.

    Um, yeah. Some did. The woman who was murdered by a nazi was peacefully protesting blocks away.

    • From Russia with Love

      You can tell they are violent by their Birkenstock footwear.

      • Spurning Beer

        Jack-booted Birkenstock wearers

        • Impatient

          You’re really on a roll(er blade) this morning, aren’t you? (I know. Weak.)

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Birk-booted Jack-n-stalk wearers.

        • calliecallie

          So then do they pull themselves up by their Birkenstock straps?

        • aureolaborealis

          In their Subaru immasculation-wagons.

  • natoslug

    John Kelly is currently the most public face of the Marine Corps. As such, can we consider his stance and statements to be a fair reflection of Corps values, or is it okay because he’s white, and therefore just a lone wolf asshole?

    • BadKitty904

      The Corps should a.) be ashamed; b.) be concerned about the damage he’s doing to their image.

      • natoslug

        Nothing that couldn’t be repaired by issuing a statement that Kelly’s actions are reprehensible and not at all a reflection of Corps values. And maybe returning him to active duty, stripping him of rank, and kicking him out again “for the good of the service.”

        • From Russia with Love

          So you obviously know that this is a thing. If he gets caught up in the treasonous part of this administration, the Marines could recall him, court martial him, take his honorable discharge away along with his retirement, and kick him back out. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.

          • natoslug

            It’s one of many items on my Christmas list for this year. I’m hoping to get all the good presents this year.

        • BadKitty904

          A Sensible Policy for a Better America.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I though that he’d transferred to the Moron Corps.

    • From Russia with Love

      I think Mattis is the most public. Kelley is a baby sitter, and is fucking even that job up badly.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Part of being a baby sitter is learning how to play the children’s games and keeping them entertained.

      • natoslug

        I keep forgetting Mattis.

        • Impatient

          Assuming we survive, we should remember to thank him, I think. He’s slogging through the shit, and keeping in check the most dangerous military machine that ever existed.

  • Me not sure

    The Carter Page interview last night was weird beyond description. I don’t know how such a person could even tie his own shoes, much less have graduated from a prestigious university.

    • From Russia with Love

      It’s his first name. Only thing worse would have been Turner.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        badum tiss!

  • Impatient

    I HAD been developing something of a crush on “Former President Bannon,” but now I’m afraid I’m SO over him, and falling hard for Mr. Mueller. I feel all tingly inside, in a weird way. I usually don’t go for people too much older than me, and usually don’t go for guys. (Just individual preferences.) But … be still my heart … It’s Mueller Time!

    • From Russia with Love

      Well, that Bannon feller is a LOT of man!

    • Red Bird

      Crush and Bannon don’t belong together.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Unless you’re going as the Hulk for Halloween, and then it’s “Smash.”

        With comic book votes, of course!

  • Saxo the Grammarian
    • Ghenghis McCann

      ‘If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.’

    • Khavrinen

      I’m confused. Is that Disneyland, or Portlandia?

      • Notreelyhelping

        There’s a difference?

    • aureolaborealis

      She looks like a girlfriend I had long ago. Said girlfriend is now a very powerful progressive lawyer.

  • MrTusks

    I’ll give Trump credit for one thing: He inspired me to vote in not the midterms (because I did that already) but in odd-year municipal elections as well. I’d be interesting to see if there’s a widespread increase in turnout for the 2017 dog catcher elections.

    • bupkus231

      I moved to FL after voting in the 2016 elections in MD. There weren’t any 2017 elections scheduled in my part of MD before I left, and I don’t believe there’s any 2017 elections in my current area in FL.

      But, you can be sure I’m casting MY “votes” somewhere this year.

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • therblig

    I hope that cave in NK isn’t the one where they found the unicorn.

  • Royal Ugly Dude
  • bbayliss

    OT but, but but:
    Indictments under Nixon 69
    Indictments under Obama O
    Indictments under Clinton 2
    Since 1968 dems 20 yrs in office, 3 indictments 1 conviction
    Republicans 28 years in office, 120 indictments, 89 convictions

    • From Russia with Love

      Nuh uhn!

      • bbayliss

        And wouldn’t be my luck
        to get caught without a ticket

    • Me not sure

      They should have named a wing of Leavenworth or the “Big A” for Reagan.

  • SweetDeeKat

    Big kitties with punkins are the best.

  • Me not sure

    Yesterday Lindsey Graham was quoted as saying that if Trump tried to fire Mueller that here would be “holy hell to pay”. It’s good to see Lindsey leap into the fray. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dde4ef84416ad57c509a14da4e39fdf130167a98c4cae851633f547ed0d246de.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      Or at least talk about leaping into the fray…

  • Weird Fishes

    If the amount of personal data that Facebook gathers, weaponizes, and sells without you ever seeing a penny of it isn’t enough to make you drop it immediately then honestly, what will?

  • Wookie Monster

    Imagine how hysterical Lumpy would be if Hillary had actually won the election.

  • Panika MCD

    it’s never never never going to be a good idea to drill ANWR. we’ve known it is more expensive than it is worth to drill there since the 1980s. the oil companies have known this also too. it’s just an excuse to keep getting involved in wars in the Middle East. will post how I know this tonight on the OT.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    We have four dogs. They go nuts with all the kids outside trick-or-treating. We respond by going to a bar and hiding out until the whole thing’s over.

    • Me and the cats hide too. Sometimes in the basement

  • TakingAmes

    These people have to be so disappointed Hillary didn’t win. They clearly spent a lot of time and energy working up new conspiracy theories on which to investigate her, and now there’s this idiot who keeps coming up with ways to hamstring himself! We just can’t have nice things.

  • laineypc

    The Seth Meyer segment – note to self: never ever watch funkbonkers in the presence of children again. The fact he does not know how to interact with children sends me around the bend, I can’t really explain why. Maybe because it is crystal clear how deeply impaired he is, that he cannot for one second leave his own narcissism even for a child, and there is no way you can be any kind of a leader if that is your impairment.

    • Bitter Scribe

      This is so frustrating…I’m getting audio but no video on that clip. What’s especially frustrating is that when I put the cursor on the bottom bar, I get still pictures corresponding to the video at that point, but I can’t make the video come up on screen. Anyone else have a problem like that?

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        I had the same problem, but opening the link in “Incognito” mode in Chrome or “InPrivate” in Edge opened video as well.

        • Bitter Scribe

          That worked! Thanks.

      • laineypc

        I think I can safely say it’s a blessing that you can’t get the audio.

      • Impatient

        I wish I hadn’t been able to hear it. He’s so sick, that I usually have to turn away before he shuts up. Ugh.

  • Zyxomma

    On Saturday, Berkeley cousin and I attended an ABT company class. Cousin didn’t let me know in advance that Lincoln Center would be full of kids in costume. Here’s the only one I photographed, because what could be better than Baby Frida Kahlo? Unfortunately, I have no idea how to rotate the photo; you’ll have to tilt your head.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4cbabbd22ae8bdc085dd89a847fc270fec5448523f76a840d813d808cc83bb74.jpg

    • Teto85

      Nice unibrow.

  • SisterArtemis

    Dominic, thanks for noting the passing of Dennis Banks. His work wasn’t widely appreciated, but then, is the activism of any Native appreciated enough by the rest of humanity? nope, though at least the Water Protectors got some time in the limelight for a while. He will be missed.

  • WHAT is it with pumpkins? My cats go batshit crazy for them (and now they’re making holistic food with pumpkin juice).

    • Zyxomma

      Pumpkins are very nutrient-dense.

  • Nephilim
  • clairence

    That FB graphic: 20M liberals to 30M conservatives. Aaaaahh!! We’re outnumbered. 40M independents. Hah!

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