Happy Halloween, Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.
People have been combing through Robert Mueller’s paperwork for a day now, and it looks like Paul Manafort and Sam Clovis might be the unnamed officials who talked to George Papadopoulos about meetings with creepo Russians.
Eric Trump is already fundraising off the indictment of Paul Manafort in a new email begging for spare change as their daddy is “still standing.”
All the palace intrigue stories have many giggly bits about Trump stomping around the White House like a grounded child as staffers steer clear of his white, hot rage.
Republicans don’t think that Trump is about to “You’re Fired” Robert Mueller, so they don’t see any reason to pass any bills protecting Mueller’s investigation.
Former President Bannon has been quietly working on a plan to kill the Trump-Russia investigation by strong-arming Congress critters to limit Mueller’s capacity to dig up dirt.
A small company listed in the indictment of Paul Manafort was paid money by the RNC around the same time Manafort was involved in Ukrainian fuckery.
John Kelly isn’t going to apologize for being a dickhead and lying about Rep. Frederica Wilson, saying that he has witnesses.
Kelly also says that we should stop pulling down Confederate statues because those slave owners were just misunderstood patriots fighting for their perceived right to enslave black people.
Tony Podesta has stepped down from his high-profile lobbying group after its fuckery with Paul Manafort was revealed, sending shockwaves through political power circles on the Hill and K Street. (Newsflash, slavering both sidesers: Dems don’t care.)
Now that everyone has other shit to pay attention to, the FBI will slowly release all of its JFK files after it finishes redacting anything of actual substance.
Congressional Republicans hoping to shower themselves in oil kickbacks are full of sads over reports that drilling in ANWR might not be worth the Ameros as oil prices continue to tumble.
Don’t listen to Trump-slut Devin Nunes. Russia does not have “20 percent of our uranium.”
A new Gallup poll shows Trump has his LOWEST RATINGS EVER, with his disapprovals up over 62 percent.
Trump is expected to tap Jerome Powell as the next Fed Chairman; he’s a Republican who, as one Trump official put it, is the “safe” choice that continues Trump’s habit of picking people from “central casting.”
This hilarious silly story about a Michigan man busted for weed and representing himself in court is “Pure Michigan.”
We’ve talked about Jared Kushner’s real estate company fucking poor people in Baltimore (twice). Now the Maryland AG is investigating Kushner Companies for its ALLEGED routine practice of poor fucking. It’s a good morning, Baltimore!
The US military suddenly decided to censor its Afghanistan reports, which is a smart maneuver to keep people from getting pissed about the war they’re paying for.
Reports are coming in that as many as 200 people were killed during a cave-in at North Korea’s nuclear test site, which would seem to confirm reports that the site may have been suffering from “tired mountain syndrome,” limiting their ability to test future nuclear weaponry.
Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov is bitching that it is not fucking with elections around the world, and it certainly didn’t fuck with the 2016 US elections.
Later today, Facebook, Google and Twitter will go before Congress where they’ll admit that as many as 126 million users potentially saw Trump-Russia propaganda pushed by trolls. The surprising thing here is how close Mark Zuckerberg comes to admitting that he fucked up.
Facebook has released the infographic it sent to advertisers during the 2016 election, and while it’s nothing that isn’t already known throughout industry circles, you may crap yourself when you see just how much personal information you send to Facebook.
Corporate douchewaffle and FCC Chairman Ajit Pai wants to impose funding caps on the Lifeline program (AKA Obamaphones), another poor-fucking maneuver which will be aimed at your mom probably.
We do not condone the efforts of online vigilantes who are dragging white supremacists out of their safespaces and doxxing them to their friends, family, and colleagues, but we’re also not condemning them either.
Russian trolls have been pushing the idea of a “war on Christmas” by selling poorly spelled sweaters and quasi-Christmas crap.
Sadly, we must inform you of the passing of Dennis Banks, one of the most important activists in the American Indian Movement. Banks was instrumental in expanding American Indian goods and culture around the world, as well as the occupations of Alcatraz and Wounded Knee.
After more women came out to talk about Mark Halperin rubbing his dick up against them, Halperin was “You’re Fired” from NBC and MSNBC as a talking head that nobody like anyway. Bye, Felicia!
Pat Robertson isn’t even praying to Jeebus, he’s just straight-up begging Donald Trump to pardon Paul Manafort and friends, stating, “There’s no such thing as the president obstructing justice if he talks to one of his people in the Justice Department…” I guess the power of Christ hasn’t compelled him.
Hannity lost his shit (again) last night and began making shit up about President Hillary Clinton, Obama, uranium, and how Robert Mueller is obstructing justice.
Rupert Murdoch’s media empire is going balls deep into the Hannity insanity in order to avoid talking about Trump-Russia.
And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert wished everyone a very Mueller Christmas; Seth Meyers took A Closer Look at Mueller time; The Daily Show thinks Mueller is getting close to being a Bond villain; Jordan Klepper peeked into the scary locker room.
And here’s your morning Nice Time! HALLOWEENY ANIMAL FRENDOS!