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Happy taco and tequila Tuesday, Wonketariat! There’s SO MANY NEWSES going on right now, but we’re going to cover as many as we can! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today!

In the fallout of Niger, Senators John McCain and Jack Reed want to update the war powers congress gave itself after 9/11, but a number of Senators on both sides of the aisle are too busy to talk about all the US soldiers dying in Not America.

We now know a lot more about what happened to the spec-ops team that was killed in Niger, as well as the 800 US troops stationed there after Gen. Joseph Dunford spoke to the press yesterday — but we still don’t really know why we’re there.

Trump’s White House is going to shell out millions of Ameros to brainwash gullible olds into supporting the Trump tax cuts for the super rich by blasting ads all over teevee.

Don’t tell anyone, but Republicans are secretly talking about DACA, but they’re not exactly rushing to get anything done. Dream on, maybe.

The Trump administration is STILL stalling on implementing the Russian sanctions passed by Congress, and now some members of Congress are starting to scheme.

Later today Trump will take a field trip to the Hill for a luncheon with the Senate Republicans, and that’s got some senators already dodging questions.

Jeff Sessions announced he’s instructing federal authorities to go after El Salvadoran cartel MS-13, stating, “Just like we took Al Capone off the streets with our tax laws,” except MS-13 is an international human trafficking cartel, not Chicago’s mob in the 1920s. Release the Tactical Accountants!

The undocumented 17-year-old girl vying for an abortion has been thrown back into legal limbo (again) after a court ruled that DHS has to find a sponsor to take custody of the girl — and it’s complicated by design.

Republican Senators Jeff Flake and Mike Lee are holding up disaster aid for Puerto Rico, but only because they want to permanently exempt Puerto Rico from the Jones Act.

A small energy firm in Montana has been awarded 300 million Ameros to turn Puerto Rico’s lights on, and it has a curious relationship to Ryan Zinke. Good thing Puerto Ricans aren’t already having to get more creative than MacGyver just to live their day to day lives.

Shitty SEAL and Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke is being called a grifty bastard BY REPUBLICANS due to his long history with so-called “scam PACs” that bilk constituents out of money.

Scott Pruitt’s EPA is trying to ignore a three-year investigation into New England’s Narragansett Bay, but that’s not stopping all the science bozos screaming about the effects of climate change.

Nicaragua is set to join the Paris climate accords, leaving the US and Syria as the only holdouts. Let that sink in for moment.

Late last night, Trump’s White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders held a press gaggle to say that John Kelly didn’t lie about Frederica Wilson (he did), and that the White House wants to stop anonymously sourced palace intrigue stories (it won’t).

A federal judge refused to throw out 22 of the original 24 indictments against former IL Republican Rep. Aaron Schock for trying to hide oodles of cash and remodeling his office into a Downton Abbey set, causing Schock’s lawyers to react that this was “great news.” Awesome, then.

House Republicans are are sick of their sausage party, and are now actively courting women to run as Republicans for House seats.

Depending on how you look at it, there’s good news for Vermont’s few hundred thousand registered voters, Bernie Sanders will run for reelection — as an Independent.

Republican Senator Thom Tillis is sick of the gridlock in Washington, and he doesn’t care if he breaks the government while trying to ram through Republican policies.

Ty Cobb, the swampy, smarmy lawyer Trump hired to smear crap over Robert Mueller’s investigation, has a storied history on the Hill of defending politicos from serious scandals.

Crosscheck, the data firm Kris Kobach created to detect “voter fraud,” is housing voter data on insecure servers, and sharing information that could be easily hacked. Kobach wants to use Crosscheck for Trump’s fraudulent voter fraud commission — What could go wrong?

SCOTUS hath decreed it shall consider the legality of Ohio’s voter purges. SWELL!

REXXON looked a bit silly (again!) after secretly traveling to Afghanistan to meet with Afghan President Ashraf Ghani. Oops, the Afghan government doctored photos of their meeting, as our partners in democracy sometimes do.

The UK has sent a formal letter to Facebook requesting to see whether Russian fuckery contributed to Brexit. We’re sure Virtual Zuckerberg will get right on top of that.

In order to effectively spread misinformation, Russia bought space on private US servers to host propaganda and spread bullshit by making it look like the messages were 100% American Fake News.

It’s not just Facebook: Russia used its creepy tentacles to infect the fragile minds of cord-cutters on Youtube with propaganda veiled as news reports from RT.

Cybersecurity researchers are warning against a massive new botnet that’s brewing in the background of the Internet of Things, so don’t skip those obnoxious security updates. You don’t want any Spam in your fridge that you didn’t buy yourself.

Yesterday, Megyn Kelly called out Bill O’Reilly and Fox for their history and culture of rewarding the good ‘ol boys for scoring points in their grabass games. [Video]

After a SHOCKING expose revealed that Milo Yiano-whatever is in cahoots with white nationalists, Steve Bannon has — ALLEGEDLY — “You’re Fired” Milo, telling a friend that he’s “dead to me.” </3

We now have PROOF about James Comey’s secret Twitter account, but who the hell is this “Reinhold Niebuhr” anyway? Sounds kind of punk.

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert ‘splainered Bill O’Reilly’s game of grab-ass; Seth Meyers took A Closer look at how many unicorns Trump can eat; The Daily Show thinks Gen. Kelly owes Rep. Wilson an apology; James Corden found Melon Trump’s body double.

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Orphaned sea otter pup rescued by Shedd Aquarium’s Alaska SeaLife Center!

If you like free things then you should give us some money! We’re supported by readers like you, and we’d like to keep it that way.

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  • Nounverb911
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Gesundheit, danke schön.

      • Kneeling Bozilingus

        The ship’s (the frigate Matilda) Prussian captain?

    • arglebargle

      It’s all Greek to me.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        “Good morning. I have made your coffee.”

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Prosit!

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • Baconzgood

      I still don’t like him.

      • Kneeling Bozilingus

        Marsha Blackburn will be a worse replacement.

        • bupkus231

          As it is, she’s got competition from the GOP side – former Tenn Rep Stephen Fincher, who’s gonna try kissing Rump’s ass harder than Marsha – and is already pledging to exploit our country’s opioid crisis to smear Blackburn ( not that she doesn’t deserve it, but cynical exploitation of a national tragedy sure doesn’t seem classy… )

  • coozledad

    Despite that interview with GMA yesterday, the press has gone dead quiet on Myeshia Johnson. Here’s what’s happening: Glenn Thrush and Maggie Haberman are out digging through her trash cans for the biggest Trump /Kelly exoneration story they can yank out of their asses. It’ll be due out by the end of the week.
    “Widow of Fallen Soldier Has Five Magazine Subscriptions, Malcolm X hat.”

    “Widow spends $85.00 at Nearby Burger King, $40.00 on Halloween costumes, candy for offspring.”

    “Kelly: Some People Just Hear In a black way on the phone. It’s got nothing to do with racism”

    “Kelly’s response to Malcom X Hat Spontaneously applauded by White House Press Corps.”

    “Is Trump’s Tweet of N-word a Breath of Fresh Air?”

    • Baconzgood

      Window once went into a Whole Foods and loudly (or was it racistly) asked “where are all your ‘CRACKERS'”

  • Baconzgood

    I felt this was a nice piece of snark from The New Yorker.

    https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2017/10/30/trump-iq-test

  • Nounverb911
    • Marion in Savannah

      Go order a T-shirt — there’s a sale today, so I got mine for a discount. And you’ll be helping the artist also too.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I would love one. Sooooo broke right now :(

  • Msgr_MΩment

    House Republicans are are sick of their sausage party, and are now actively courting women to run as Republicans for House seats.

    To be fair, think of all the Kool-Aid those women have drunk over the years. They deserve to be thrown a bone.*

    *Don’t ever tell a GOoPer to “throw the ladies a bone”.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Just when I am in the blackest abyss of total despair……OTTERS!!!!!111!!!! God bless you for providing the SQUEEEEE!

  • Maclare’s Castle o’ Crap 🏰
  • Baconzgood

    “but we still don’t really know why we’re there.”

    Baconz will venture to guess oil.

    • TJ Barke

      Baconz is correct, sir.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yuppers.

      • Baconzgood

        I didn’t even have to Google Niger’s major exports to figure that one out. It’s not like we would station troops there if they exported fluffy bunnies or A.I.D.S. medicine.

    • Bobathonic

      Coal libelz!

  • Joe Beese
    • TJ Barke

      Goddamned broken clocks!

  • James Baskin

    In other news…. Summer has officially left the building.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    ‘Fox and Friends’ dresses black child up as watermelon

  • Nounverb911
    • Vincent Ricola

      $45 for that hideous hat?! A fool and their money, I guess.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Sixty-three million fools.

  • Nounverb911
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
  • Jeffocaster in the West

    I am surprised that Trump has not slipped and said the “n” word for the country we are doing secret ops with in Africa.

    • mackafritz

      Nambia?

      • Kneeling Bozilingus

        Niggeria? – DJT

    • Bill D. Burger

      I’m sure there is a group “clutch the pearls” moment at the White House each time he references it.

  • beingreleased

    “A small energy firm in Montana has been awarded 300 million Ameros to turn Puerto Rico’s lights on, and it has a curious relationship to Ryan Zinke.”

    I’m sure this is all on the up-and-up. A two-man operation suddenly given a $300,000,000 contract. Of course, it could be more like this:

    Mrs Podgorny: Oh, a blancmange gave you an order for 48,000,000 kilts?
    Angus: Aye!
    Mrs Podgorny: And you believed it?
    Angus: Aye, I did.
    Mrs Podgorny: Och, you’re a stupid man, Angus Podgorny.
    Angus (getting a little angry): Oh look woman, how many kilts did we sell last year? Nine and a half, that’s all. So when I get an order for 48,000,000, I believe it – you bet I believe it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVbb6pZLfzU

  • Nounverb911
  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • The Wanderer

      “Like it never happened.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The business is based in Whitefish, where Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke was raised. A spokesman for the cabinet member said he had no role in securing the work for the company, according to the newspaper.

    Sure he didn’t. The company had two (2) full-time employees when Maria hit PR. Zinke will resign on Friday.

    • mackafritz

      According to Whitefish’s Wikipedia, it’s nickname is White Nationalist Stronghold.

    • Yes and $350 an hour for linemen…

      Something in there about suspending the linemen from helicopters to reach the remote areas…

      Even though, that most of the power companies offered to send workers there pro-bono, sort of like they do in all major disasters – you know share and share alike…

      But then again, PR’s power grid isn’t connected to the US grid so its impact on the stability of the grid as a whole is not like the rest….

      • Antonin Dvorak

        I have seen line repair done from a helicopter, but I don’t think it is the preferred method.

    • bupkus231

      “Zinke will resign on Friday.”

      Don’t tease….

  • TJ Barke

    Cuz Whitefish is so close to Puerto Rico that it makes perfect logistic sense…

    • cmd resistor

      You know, fish. Ocean. Big Ocean. It all makes sense.

    • The Wanderer

      Coney Island Whitefish?

      • Bobathonic

        Eww.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Diva
  • Anna Elizabeth, Diva

    That first Item – eMail or call your Senator to ask about the Niger Cover-up! I’m sure mine curses my name every morning.

  • cmd resistor

    Came across this interesting article on the Niger thing, quoting one of the American survivors who was there. http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/died-fighting-brothers-niger-ambush-survivor-fallen-us/story?id=50670787

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      This is the kind of operation for which the word ‘clusterfuck’ was coined.

  • Nounverb911
  • Rocket Pony Ron

    There was some discussion on CNN last night about America being involved in ‘too many wars.’ Ya think?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      And from hell, Bin Laden is beaming with satisfaction.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        He’s been beaming since last November.

    • Nockular cavity

      Now that’s just crazy talk.

    • BigCSouthside

      So they had some mission creep. Not sure I get why. Okay you know where a HVT is. Surveil his ass and A.) pop him with a hellfire, or B.) come up with a plan to whack the motherfucker using fully supported ground troops.

      Killing a high value target isn’t like swinging by Wendy’s on the way home from work

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I can’t imagine Dolt supporting a war in Niger for one simple reason: war brides.

  • cmd resistor

    I guess Sarah Sanders went to a different Sunday School than I did. We were taught that that kind of shit Kelly did was LYING. And boy, that April Ryan, uppity!!!!11!!
    “I think that whole process was frankly unfortunate,” Sanders told Ryan. “I think it is appalling that we have focused more on the process instead of the people…when we’re focused far more on the process of what time a call was placed versus the fact that there was loss of military soldiers and that there were individuals that were killed in action.”
    “But there are Congressional leaders now calling for an apology. Will there be an apology?” Ryan pressed.
    “I don’t think that General Kelly was wrong, and therefore I don’t think he should offer an apology,” Sanders replied. “I think he has a lot of credibility on this topic and a lot of credibility in general given the life of service that he has lived, and I take him at his word, and I don’t have anything further to add beyond that.”

    • Shanzgood

      TRASHMONGER!

      • TJ Barke

        Libelz!

    • miss_grundy

      Does this chick ever leave the West Wing? Because she should be hit with a pie in her face, without benefit of votes, wherever she goes around the D.C. Metro area.

      You can tell she was raised by grifters and dog-killers. She doesn’t have any morals or self-respect.

      • cmd resistor

        Waste of good pie.

    • bupkus231

      If she doesn’t think that Kelly was wrong, then she has completely missed the whole point of her supposed “Christian upbringing”.

      Oh, wait – She is a Huckabee, ain’t she? Never mind….

  • Bob Smith

    Seeing how our elected officials were clueless as to our troop deployments in Africa both in the time of the Benghazi deaths and these deaths in Niger, one would wonder why there was such vitriol and multiple congressional hearings in the attempt to taint Hillary Clinton but not Rex Tillerson. Isn’t it clear that the attacks against Hillary were 100% political theatre?

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Megyn Kelly still horrible.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osoQwiJT04Y

    • Vincent Ricola

      Who?

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Starlord, man!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      ‘Today’ needs a gaggle of idiots to surround and enhance her.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      She’s a typical Republican; sexual harassment/predation is bad only because it happened to HER, and now it’s her crusade. Had she not been subject to it, I guarantee, she wouldn’t have given two fucks about any of the other victims.

      • miss_grundy

        Her new show is tanking and she needs a ratings boost.

        • Daniel

          Honestly, her motives don’t bother me. If she was assaulted, she deserves sympathy. If she reported it and was ignored, she has every right to be pissed off. If she reported it and was taken seriously she’d still have every right to be pissed off.

          It’s not OK to sexually assault anyone, and it is good to draw attention to the culture that allows it- whether her motives are self-serving or not.

          • keinsignal

            What Daniel said. I don’t think we need to throw any of these mercenaries a ticker-tape parade just for recognizing that awful people are awful (this applies to Senators McCain & Corker as well), and skepticism as to their motives is warranted, but I’m happy if it’s getting the right message out to people who might not otherwise listen.

            Besides, as political games go, “let’s you and them fight” is a pretty good one.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          So she’s trying “compassion” as her new shtick. Very believable.

  • The Wanderer

    Just sent this to Rubio:

    I have two questions:

    1) What are our troops doing in Niger, and what are you doing to prevent further loss of American lives?

    2) If the House of Representatives votes to impeach President Trump and a trial is held in the Senate, will you vote to convict and remove him from office, yes or no?

    • Anna Elizabeth, Diva

      Nice!

      • The Wanderer

        I sent the same two questions to Nelson as well. See who replies first and how much shit I have to dig through.

        • weejee

          FWIW, when I sent my medals from Vietnam with a similar note to my senator after the Watergate Saturday Night Massacre, Adlai III responded about being a juror, open mind, yadda, yadda.

          • The Wanderer

            Bog-standard answer.

          • weejee

            No shit. The State Department isn’t the only place located in Foggy Bottom.

    • Me not sure

      If you didn’t say “Simon says” first he won’t respond. It’s a rule.

    • grindstone

      I sent him an email begging him not to confirm Devos (he benefited from her in the big dollar range). I got a stock email in reply, days AFTER the confirmation. Made me detest him more, and I didn’t know it was possible.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • The Wanderer

      Smite him now!
      Smite him now!

    • Bill D. Burger
      • puredog

        That would make him a thief, right?

    • TJ Barke

      I’m mad at god too. Partly for making me exist, partly at making me exist in a world where a hypocritical entitled scumsucker like BillO also exists.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Jesus: “Yeah, no shit, Pops. Wow.”

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I can explain it: Billdo thinks he has the right to harass and exploit women.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Yup.

    • Nockular cavity

      “God let me harass all those women! Bastard!”

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I think he was there, when Eve ate that apple, wasn’t he? And what did he say then, eh? “Fuck it, let’s do it live!”

      – God

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Bill was the creature offering the apple to Eve.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          That, makes sense. someone more talented than I should make it into a meme

        • Naytch

          Serpent libelz!!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      God hates you because she is a feminist.

      Asshole.

    • Baconzgood

      As an Irish Catholic I can say unequivocally…THIS is a BAD thing to even think let alone say out loud…..let alone say out loud so someone else can hear…let alone saying out loud so millions of someone elses can hear.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Bill’s dick goes up. Bill’s dick goes down. Nobody can explain that.

    • Baconzgood

      Listen Bill. God didn’t protect Job, you really think he’d protect YOU? Frankly leave my church and I hope the door leaves a bruise on your ass.

    • miss_grundy

      Mad at God? God has protected him by giving him a career in which he was able to make beaucoup bucks talking out of his ass. Giving him an audience that would buy his stupid books. That let him become a multi-millionaire, who could pay off one of his victims with $32 million.

    • Daniel

      Gather round children and I’ll tell you a tale, from the Book of Jobless.

      Once there was a very wealthy victim named Bill O’Reilly, and when his hands were idle they were the devil’s playthings, and when they were busy they were doing the Lord’s work and relieving the Ailements of others, pretty others, oh yes.

      One day, Bill was innocently minding everyone’s business when he was called into the boss’s office. Across the desk sat a pretty lady in a company mandated tiny dress, and a grumpy looking man with some paper work and a pencil neck- not the kind of man Bill liked at all. He made Bill sign a paper to make his problems go away, and Bill did it, and Bill’s boss decided out of the goodness of his heart to pay the pretty lady lots of money and send her away from their castle forever, and because of her evil she was cursed to silence.

      Months passed.

      Then Bill was called to the office again, where a prettier, perkier princess sat with a dourer, drabber man and another piece of paper, and Bill gave them his name, and the King of the Company gave them more gold, and away the princess went with her mouth sealed up with that signature.

      Months passed.

      Bill came to the office again, and this time this pretty princess said such terrible things about him that he was forced to give her $32 million, and accept only $25 million from the King in return- every single year thereafter.

      But away the princess went, and though she wanted to shout she could not even whisper.

      Then one day, a newspaper printed the story about all these things, and Bill lost his job, but the King sent him on his way with lots more money.

      Bill was very upset, and, a pious man, he knealt though he was without loofah or felafel, and he prayed.

      He prayed from the depth of despair that God should smite his enemies, and bring him back to the glory he knew was his.
      And that that bitch should have her mouth permanently sealed.

      He wept like Job and called out like Jesus in his last moments.

      “Why, God? Why have you forsaken me?”

      And a light shone on Bill and a voice came out of the heavens and said:

      “Every single time you got accused your boss paid the woman off, and ended her career. Every single time those women were made to promise not to talk about it. What the fuck more did you want?”

      And Bill cried out again that the world was unfair.

      • MynameisBlarney

        This is a fucking work of art.

  • This just posted….

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2017/10/24/kid-rock-no-im-not-running-for-u-s-senate/793708001/

    Kid Rock: No, I’m not running for U.S. Senate
    Mocking people who took the idea seriously, Kid Rock said Tuesday morning he’s not running for U.S. Senate.

    “(Expletive) no, I’m not running for Senate. Are you kidding me?” Rock said on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show. “Who couldn’t figure that out? I’m releasing a new album. I’m going on tour, too. Are you (kidding) me?”

    • TJ Barke

      Shit eating little jackass.

      • weejee

        So much shit, so much assiness.

      • Baconzgood

        OH. HE NEEDS one of Baconzgood’s patented* COCK PUNCHES.

        *patent pending

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Do you have a detailed spec sheet and an MSDS for that?

          Is the punch spiked? Does it come with a punch bowl?

          Just curious, as usual.

          • Baconzgood

            Shanz has seen it. It must be done with a certain panache and style (almost like a gymnastics maneuver), where people say “now that guy got cock punched with flair and èlan”

            It’s the wind up that really sells the cock punch and, this is a MUST, the punchee must be lifted at least 3 inches off the ground upon contact (it’s an upper cut), and the punchers hand must make contact with full force and then some.

          • Shanzgood

            Wait, what? When did this happen?!

          • Baconzgood

            With too flirty person that was wearing the tie-dyed shirt and kept moving the cue ball when I was playing pool.

          • Shanzgood

            You didn’t really! I would have noticed!

          • Baconzgood

            Maybe you on the porch enjoying the view?

          • Shanzgood

            I was trying NOT to se what was going on at one point…

          • MSDS FTW!

    • MynameisBlarney

      We can all be thankful he’ll continue making his mediocre and derivative music for rednecks, then?

      • Better than taking votes away from legitimate candidates; just pass me the ear bleach.

        • Baconzgood

          It works better if you jam a dry wall screw into your ear.

    • Baconzgood

      I always wondered, how can a rapper from Detroit be a red neck?

    • Daniel

      “…album?”
      “Yep, it’s…”
      “Just those two songs you have?”
      “…Yeah.”

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        plus a bunch of remastered ‘greatest hits’.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Damnit, I was hoping for Eminem and Kid Rock to debate each other.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • MynameisBlarney

      “It’s different, because of reasons!”

      • TJ Barke

        Convenience, mostly.

    • mackafritz

      Apparently they didn’t since nobody knows what’s going on in Niger.

      • TJ Barke

        Very illegal shit, I would suppose.

        • MynameisBlarney

          They’re trying to stop the blood diamonds/child soldier thing by killing everyone?

          • TJ Barke

            Probably just making the country safe for Exxon by killing anyone that would democratically object to Exxon.

          • Bobathonic

            It’s hard work installing a puppet warlord.

          • TJ Barke

            Especially when you’ve got to send in your own soldiers.

          • Latverian Diplomat

            “It’s called, cutting out the middle man…”

      • bbayliss

        “why a second, potentially more dangerous mission was tacked on late in the day even after a second team that was supposed to join them was unable to do so.”
        http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/died-fighting-brothers-niger-ambush-survivor-fallen-us/story?id=50670787

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Sounds like someone is running the military like a (badly run) business…

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Somebody is “running” the military like a casino following it’s flight path straight into it’s crash site.

      • Baconzgood

        Oil? I think that’s a good guess

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Too many of them think Niger’s just a typo.

    • Baconzgood

      It is different. One of the guys was black. And the others were guilty of promoting miscegenation

    • miss_grundy

      That’s the Republican way. By the way, they decided to again cut the security budget for consulates and embassies.

  • weejee

    Wish me well kiddos. Heading in this morning for my every 6-month chin-to-bum CT. Hoping they find my good buddy NED – no evidence of disease. This will be 3½ years as Stage IV. Seems once in, they never let you out of the club.

    • Anna Elizabeth, Diva

      ~hugs~

      All my hopes. :)

    • bbayliss

      Good luck!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Good luck to you!

    • Sending hugs and warm fuzzies your way. Wow, 3 1/2 years. Hope all goes fabulous. Please let us know.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Best of luck to you.

    • Baconzgood

      I have Dr. Too. But not as bad as you. I wish you good newz.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      *raises coffee cup*
      To your health!

    • RMKH

      Gaia be with you

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Go get ’em, Tiger!

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I would settle for Chocolate myself

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          I got a rock.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Sending positive energy you’re way!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Looks like you might want to adjust your Discus settings–you’re going to be getting alot of replies to this, weejee. Sending positiveness your way!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Only good news for you today.

    • SadDemInTex

      fingers crossed

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      {{{bear hug}}}

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      You can ace the test!

    • Pisto75666

      Good luck!

    • Edith Prickly

      Hope all goes well!

    • miss_grundy

      Good luck!

    • shastakoala

      I just joined the club. Good luck and strength!

      • weejee

        hug

        • shastakoala

          Thank you. To you too. :)

    • Hope all goes well.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      Wishing good luck, great health, lots of love, lots of wealth. (Sounds better in the original Polish, but you get the point)

    • Major_Major_Major

      Cheers on the 3.5 and may the next 35 be the same.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      May wellness be heaped upon thee.

    • Notreelyhelping

      I’d say break a leg, but…you know.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      May they find…nothing!

    • Persistent Demme

      All the best!

    • Johnatx

      All the best.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I’m getting pretty sick of Bob Corker. He can fuck right off. He had no problem with Trump before when most sensible people saw that he was totally unqualified to be president.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I always wonder-a bit skeptically-about these instant conversions astride an ass on the road to Damascus.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I always wanted to ask, “Was it good for the ass?”

    • miss_grundy

      He will probably throw his hat into the ring and try to run as the “common sense Republican” as opposed to the current Bozo.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        But that’s Kasich’s role. Will they fight over who is the most common sensical?

        • theCryptofishist

          That will be amusing.

        • miss_grundy

          I wouldn’t put it past them to perform that particular political theatre.

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    Yup. Corker’s gonna run in 2020. No doubt about it.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Republicans are shocked, SHOCKED that people in the Trump administration accepted the invitation to come to Washington to loot and grift to their heart’s content.

    • Pisto75666

      They seemed like such nice people! With no souls and melting faces BUT STILL!

    • Major_Major_Major

      It’s the cavalier and blatant way these mendacious motherfuckers go about it that is the truly shocking part.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s because they observe Trump and his spawn and think there’s no reason to have to be particularly sneaky or furtive about their thieving. Just do it, then lie about it. It’s just one of the perks of belonging to the club.

  • The Librarian

    The WH can shell out $$$$ to lie about tax cuts for uber wealthy, but not a farthing to be spent on ACA sign ups. Sounds legit. :P

    • Major_Major_Major

      Ummmmm, only poor and middle income people benefit from the ACA, while the really important people will gain from the tax cuts. Sheesh, if they were worth spending money on, they wouldn’t be poor, would they?

      • The Librarian

        That’s exactly why they’re worth spending money on. :D

  • Panika MCD

    a) we’re in Niger because of Boko Haram.

    b) new polling data has been suggesting to Republicans that while their base wants the wall, they also want to keep the Dreamers.

    c) our tactical accountants are a scrappy bunch. don’t underestimate them…unless a bunch of them retired recently.

    d) PR should be permanently exempted from the Jones Act. because: BIGLY WATER.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      PR should be permanently exempted from the Jones Act because we suck as there owner.

    • The Jones Act should go away because who the fuck cares about protecting our shipbuilders?

      • Hizzoner

        Some parts of the Jones Act should be retained. For instance, the part that provides Worker’s Compensation coverage for sailors is critical. Otherwise, the will get completely shafted by “the man”.

        • HazooToo

          What else is in there that might be worth keeping? Because if it’s not much, then maybe we ought to write a new bill with just the good stuff and then scrap Jones.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    “Relocating the swamp from Washington to Montana was initiated in order to increase wetland diversity in the west. Also to get some kickbacks from Zinke’s friends there.”
    — EPA Director Pruitt

  • Notreelyhelping

    If someone launches Otter TV, the ratings will be enormous.

    • Daniel

      I can see it Tarka-ing off in a big way.

      The company that ran it would make out like bandits, overloaded with lutra.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Now look, you can’t take all the puns yourself. That’s just not fair.

        • Daniel

          Sorry, my pace was up. I should realise this is a marathon, not a spraint.

      • Button

        What’ve giant armadillo tanks got to do with it?

        (I get the puns, they’re just so bad they’re not even worth booing.)

        • Daniel

          You’re mint.

    • Bebecca

      that seems pretty one-dimensional, how about Cute TV so it can include kitties, puppies and baby goats in pajamas?

      • Notreelyhelping

        I think that’s called YouTube.

    • Persistent Demme

      We otter do it!

      • phoenix00

        Leave it to Beaver.

  • Impatient

    Just when you think nothing can be more hypocritical than the lying, wealthy Trump administration …

    The true lord of all evil, the Republican Party, soft pedals the losses in Niger, after being all BENGHAAAAAAZIIIIII !!!!!!!! When can we actually be heard, screaming to voters that all Republicans are lying hypocrites, whose interests all translate to “Winning $$$$$$$$$ ?”

    And BTW, the MSM’s latest tangent seems to be in asking how “both sides” can compromise, so that we can all come back together. Fuck that! It’s the Rs who’ve gone off the extremist deep end, and removed the word compromise from the dictionary! Like waiting for Trump to “pivot” or become “presidential.”

    Generalizing too much? Not when their latest message is, “Hey, everyone. We’re done fucking you, for this round, so shouldn’t we all be civil again?”

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      I hear ya. I would personally like to see a little *less* compromise on the part of the Dems.. the repughlican lite look doesn’t suit them (or at least i wish it didn’t)

    • Jim Johnson

      Exactly! I’m totally done with the MSM bullshit of trying to appear neutral (actually neutered). Stop calling their grifty legislative attempts “Tax Reform”!
      Their strategy has two, and only two tactics for implementation: 1) make the rich richer, and 2) make the poor poorer.
      I suppose there are are “both sides” to their grifting: the grifters and the griftees.

  • Shibusa

    Please call your member of Congress at 202-224-3121 and urge him/her to reject the budget resolution. They’re trying to ram it through before the lies fall apart. I think the Dems should be screaming about the $1 trillion in Medicaid and $473 billion in Medicare cuts.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    I caught some daytime TV yesterday. No otters, but I gotta say that Wendy O’Williams looks a lot different than I remembered her.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Wendy O. Williams RIP!

  • ken_kukec

    “Reinhold Niebuhr” — sounds furrin’, but t’ain’t.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Wasn’t that the name of the planet that was due to collide with Earth a few days ago?

      • keinsignal

        No, but “Reinhold Nibiru” is now the official name of my microtonal dark ambient project.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Great Harry Partch’s ghost!

  • shivaskeeper

    Two minor corrections.

    Nicuragau didn;t sign on the Paris accord becsue they felt it didn’g go far enough, unlike the current US who don’t care. We all know what’s happeneing in Syria that would have made signing on difficult to say the least.

    Also MUST CREDIT WONKETTE. I’m pretty sure it was Evan that brought Shook into the spotlight.

    • Tishalicious

      In the SCANDALS way! ^_^

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Tishalicious

    Dominic, just noticed your new bio blurb! Congratulations on your promotion? *supplies confetti and those cakes we like*

    • Courser_Resistance

      Yay!

  • AJ Milne

    … audio this morning: Ta-Nehisi Coates was on the CBC’s The Current yesterday. Good interview on Trump as a white reaction to Obama. Apologies, no link… Bit busy, and I caught it via their app, but pretty sure it’s generally available online.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    This is priceless. Our own former Governor Pataki, human coat rack, tax cheat and that which Andrew Cuomo looked like a step up from, endorsed Kid Rock.

    https://twitter.com/SopanDeb/status/922843246467911682

    • To be a little more correct, Elliot Spitzer looked like a step up from Pataki. Then after he quit, Cuomo looked like a step up from Paterson. (sigh)

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Eliot Spitzer was a step up from Pataki. Personally I think Paterson was destroyed by Moynihan revenants for not handing Hillary’s seat to Caroline Kennedy.

        • No, basically Paterson was incompetent. Aside from his initial “confess to every sin under the sun” blurtfest when he took office, to the point where even Republicans were going “please STFU!”, his hamhanded approach to budget cuts and numerous other issues made him one of the most unpopular governors we had… which is saying something.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Funny, though. Nobody much cared until he was perceived as slighting Obama by giving Gillibrand the seat he was supposed to give to Kennedy. Who is an admirable woman, but much better suited to the job she eventually got.

          • As someone who was living in the next district, and fought in those blog battles, the problem was that Kennedy had been “annointed” not by Obama, but by the purity ponies and various of the NYC limosine liberals. She’d never expressed an interest in the job to begin with, it was all a fantasy candidate bit.

            Now, maybe on the national front nobody cared, but in the state, yeah, we cared a lot about what he was doing as governor. We’re still trying to get back to even half-way on some of the programs/staffing he gutted. The environmental agency got absolutely hammered.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I agree with most of that, but she was still his version of the Bloomberg snow storm. There were plenty of reasons not to be happy with him, but the one he hung for was a hissy fit from internet warriors who were feeling their oats.

  • Dutchman
  • WIDTAP

    “but we still don’t really know why we’re there”

    Our government wants a war with ISIS (ISIL, Daesh, whatever). The bad news is that a lot of the ISIS organization is non-territorial with affiliates and activities in the Middle East, South and Southeast Asia and Africa. Where they have been territorial, we have had conflicts with the local governments (e.g., Syria, and their alliance with the Russians) that have limited our effectiveness on a military response.

    The bottom line is that we do not have a clearly stated purpose, and America is not well know for winning wars where you don’t keep and hold territory.

  • theCryptofishist

    As it happens, The Tactical Accountants is the name of my precision tap dance troupe. We’re doing a gig next month and the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts, with The Ministry of Silly Walks doing our music.

    • Ling Ling

      I have quit my job to follow your tour.

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        “Livin’ on reds, vitamin C and cocaine…”

      • theCryptofishist

        That’s got to good for the economy.

  • Latest info on the cock up in Niger. The Rangers and the local troops appear to have been on a “kill or capture” mission. Not a recon, not training, not giving chase.
    https://twitter.com/tedlieu/status/922852432274690048

    • ltmcdies

      I hate to tell the Senator but Hillary’s emailz apparently need more investigating….. Nunes is an asshole

  • eyelashviper

    OK, the latest in leaks from the Nannies at the WH.
    The real reason for the troops in Niger:
    The Dotard heard “Niger and Yellowcake” mentioned at one of his “intelligence” briefings, and ordered top notch troops into Niger to ferret out that yummy pastry, searching every bakery and kitchen. He wanted to take a piece to his Japanese Pal Abe, who really liked the chocolate cake at Mar-A-Lago.

  • Jgb979

    Not like he’s paid enough attention to even know the names of the soldiers who have died.

    But please tell me an adult has worked with him on the correct pronunciation of “Niger”

  • aureolaborealis

    Minor point: Shedd Aquarium (in Chicago, IL) provided the animal response team, but they do not own the Alaska Sealife Center (in Seward, AK).

  • Bitter Scribe

    If scam PACs want to drain off dollars from the Social Security checks of Fox News-watching idiots, it’s OK by me. Better it go for the scammers’ steak dinners and hookers or whatever than to people who could actually harm the country by getting elected.

  • Obama is a big fan of niebuhr. As is david brooks.

    I think it’s a UofC thing.

    • Weird Fishes

      He’s also big in Milwaukee, I hear.

  • To be fair, neither Syria nor US America have functioning governments.

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    If there is a God, Mueller will intercept an email directly from Kobach to Putin:

    “Here’s the address of the unsecure server. Should would be a shame if someone broke into it.”

    • phoenix00

      “It’s been 1000 miles since oil change due, if you know what I mean”

  • Weird Fishes

    “and that the White House wants to stop anonymously sourced palace intrigue stories (it won’t).”

    Also, it can’t.
    Read more at https://wonkette.com/624711/knee-deep-in-niger-wonkagenda-for-oct-24-2017#FsBgoyPcpj77pgAK.99

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Sandinista!

    (ooh, sorry – reflex action anytime Nicaragua is mentioned)

  • Donna Mueller

    ” shut-up and sit down, this is a press conference, the LAST thing i want to do is answer a bunch of stupid questions”….

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