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Yr Editrix and the Vodka of Power

Hey, places in California! It is the weekend when the Wonkebago turns your way! Tonight is a travel day, but you will want to be ready in Sacramento on Saturday, 4 to 9, at East Portal Park (we got booze permits!).

Then Sunday, it’s Sonoma, and did you notice the whole weekend is alliterative that way? Pot luck 3 to 6 p.m., at the town plaza. In case of rain, meet up at Mary’s Pizza, which is just right there. Yr Editrix brings you IMPEACH hats and kisses. And at either location, it is just possible Donna Rose will demand you join her for tea, as she did Dok Zoom in Boise:

Mmm, good!

What’s next for the Wonkebago after the weekend? Easy-peasy!

Avila Beach, Santa Barbara, Orange County, LA, San Diego, and Big Bear! Followed by Las Vegas and Salt Lake City and Helena and maybe REBECCA’S HOUSE! (Not Rebecca’s house.)

Keep watching the story linked in the sidebar for further details!

What? You want MOAR pics of the Boise meetup? Alrighty then!

Friendly people in the City of Trees, huh?

What happens when you say “Donna, don’t look at me, silly”

As the evening progressed, weird misshapen feet were compared.

Dok and Top Political Pundit Our Girlfriend

Thanks to all the Boise Wonkers who showed up, and we can’t wait to do it again! If you’re in Cali, GET READY for fun ‘n’ ‘citement!

It is now your OPEN THREAD.

Come drink with us! And help pay our gas bills!

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  • BearGHAZI

    OMG approaching 10k likes, mostly from you folk. You like me, you REALLY REALLY like me!

  • Lambsendbeds

    Hope to be at the Sonoma drinky thing if I can work out a carpool.

  • armed_bears

    Doc drinking out of Donna’s tea cup should be new profile pix… replacing the pat of butter thingy.

  • WomanInThePersistence
  • Subrok

    So no stop in Seattle this year, huh? My uncle wasn’t that much of a jackass was he?

  • Crystalclear12

    You need to come to southwest Missouri!
    This is totally not an attempt to use your wonkebago as an escape vehicle.

    • armed_bears

      Ha! And I am only 80 miles from one of the borders!

      • Crystalclear12

        Which one?

        • armed_bears

          Yes!

          • Crystalclear12

            Insanity border it is.

  • Tell me more about this “Big Bear” you are meeting up with. Is he cute? Single? Can we get dick pics? I’m asking for … uh, other people around here who are obviously more perverted than I would dream of being, but otherwise too shy to ask.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I think he likes Fawnskin but watch out. His girlfriend is pretty good with an Arrowhead.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific
  • The Wanderer

    That one pic, with the backwards ball cap and the furled umbrella behind it . . .

    Yes, it looks like an Erection Hat.

    • Subrok

      Wow, I thought it actually was a hat. The one sprouting from Dok’s shoulder is more difficult to explain.

      • The Wanderer

        True.

      • doktorzoom

        There are some things we just don’t talk about.

        • The Wanderer

          Idaho used to have a nuclear reactor, operated by the Navy. There might have been . . . leaks.

          • redarmyzombie

            Mistakes were made…

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            …and then the murders began.

          • Arolpin

            AFAIK, they still do. It’s been a while since I’ve done the Arco-Idaho Falls run, but you used to have to know the shift schedule, or you would get stuck behind 40-some buses transporting sailors and civilians to and from the INEL. It’s a bit frustrating when you are bombing along at 90mph and you come upon a row of buses a mile long doing 55. It takes a LONG time to pass 40 buses on a 2-lane highway.

  • Shanzgood

    In case anyone needs a snortle or an idea for how to save money on dog toys:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/947b26256ba1cd87f69fa447238d9b78accb9ad5b60aaf8e44fd4a824c0782da.jpg

    • whitroth

      Doesn’t exactly look like a dog toy….

    • The Wanderer

      Hmm! (goes to check his Armoire of Atrocities)

    • armed_bears

      I don’t think you can own more than 6 of those at a time in Texas.

      http://www.chron.com/news/politics/texas/article/In-Texas-even-possession-of-a-sex-toy-is-11161211.php

      • Shanzgood

        Why would you…never mind.

        • armed_bears

          never can tell when company will drop by… is my theory, at lest.

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t even have that many wine glasses!

          • I did. My last roommate broke several

          • Shanzgood

            Wine glasses, I presume.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That is a really funny article. I particularly like the line about how the law “does make exceptions for people who have multiples of the device for medical and law enforcement purposes.”

        Medical and law enforcement purposes???? Why would anyone need sex toys for medical or law enforcement purposes? Do I want to know the answer???

        • Shanzgood

          For law enforcement purposes, maybe they’ve confiscated those 7th (and more) ones a lot of times and keep them in storage. Just think how many they could have by now.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      It’s all about packaging, innit?

      • Shanzgood

        No packaging could mitigate that disaster.

      • SDGeoff3

        Easier to get out than the ink for my printer.

    • Blackest Noobs

      why does a dog need a dildo?

      • The Wanderer

        If it’s a horndog?

        • Blackest Noobs

          they’re all HORN dogs. but still…dog dildos seem a bit futile.
          dogs don’t seem to have a problem in that dept.

          • Blackest Noobs

            like i rarely if ever hear my fellow poker players saying they need Dog-Viagra.

            https://goo.gl/images/43nh4A

          • SomeBigRedDog

            It’s true. I can lick my own junk.

          • Shanzgood

            Is that why we don’t see you here very often?

          • SomeBigRedDog

            *blushes*

          • SomeBigRedDog

            No. I’ve been . . . doin stuff.

          • Shanzgood

            Uh huh

      • Shanzgood

        For when butt-sniffing just doesn’t do it any more?

      • SDGeoff3

        A double-headed one at that? Not that I’ve ever seen one, mind you.

        • Blackest Noobs

          ass to ass?!?

          • SDGeoff3

            Well, I wasn’t actually looking out my ass, but let me check.

          • Blackest Noobs

            ha ha it’s just made me think about that movie Aronofsky did that totally made me damn sure i would not be interested in heroin during its resurgence during the 90’s as being “glamorous”

            the movies shits all over that myth.

          • Shanzgood

            Trainspotting didn’t do it?

          • Blackest Noobs

            not enough, Scottish accents will do that to you….but yeah..choose life.

          • Husband Of Mrs God

            Trainspotting was a bit constipated in places.

          • Shanzgood

            Gah!

          • SDGeoff3

            But yes, ass to ass. Some say it’s quite exciting. From my point of view, it looks excruciating.

          • puredog

            The very moment I fell in love with Jennifer Connelly.

          • SDGeoff3

            Thank you.

          • H0mer0

            “asses to asses, funk to funky”

          • SDGeoff3

            Ok.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS IS WHY!

        • Blackest Noobs

          no, my bizness…I am the Master.

          you know cuz dogs need a leader.

          cats on the other hand do not…but the’re too classy for dildos….they’re pussies after all.

          • SomeBigRedDog

            You can go master that pile I left in the yard.

          • Blackest Noobs

            that’s what i pay the white kids to do.

          • Shanzgood

            Dammit, you crack me up.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      OK, question for Wonking lesbians/bi women: does that configuration defy dildo-assisted coitus for 2 women? I’m out of my element but it looks uncomfortable to say the least. The angling looks off.

      WHAT? It’s a dog toy? OMG, I am so naive.

      • Shanzgood

        Erm, they’re not just for F/F enjoyment. Or dogs.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Oh, I get your drift, Shanz. But, again, the angling looks like a deal breaker. Maybe I am over thinking this. . .

          • Zonath

            They’re actually flexible.

          • Shanzgood

            Yes, that helps.

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Changes alot.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      It is always just a little odd taking the Kong toys to the register, cuz buttplug. And our pit bull requires the biggens.

    • Zonath

      One of the guys who frequents the same off-leash dog park I do has something very similar to this, and my internal 5th grader giggles a little every time he brings it to the park.

      • Shanzgood

        I hope he washes it. A lot.

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      Is it dishwasher-safe? Asking for a friend.

      • Shanzgood

        Why worry about that? Your dog licks its own butt.

    • Mary Theresa

      So they finally found a way to reinvent that surplus of double ended dildos?

    • puredog

      Ribbed for her pleasure.

      • armed_bears

        Nibbled Ribbed for her pleasure

    • redarmyzombie

      So the furries have been busy again, I see…

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    When does the world tour come to Wisconsin? We sure could use you right about now!

    • armed_bears

      ‘Cause Fall is the season to enjoy your Dairy Air?

  • whitroth

    Not good news, folks,

    Excerpt:

    White nationalist shot at protesters after Richard Spencer speech in Florida, police say

    Three supporters of the prominent white nationalist Richard Spencer have been charged with attempted murder after police said one of the men, egged on by his friends, shot at protesters “with the intent to kill” following Spencer’s speech at the University of Florida on Thursday.

    It was the most serious instance of violence reported in connection to Spencer’s appearance at the university.

    The event was heavily protested but mostly went off without violence, until three men in a silver Jeep pulled up to a bus stop around 5:20 p.m. Thursday after Spencer had ended his speech. They had just come from the speech and were recorded on video giving interviews to media outlets, defending Spencer’s appearance.

    “One of the passengers began yelling Hail Hitler and other chants” at the people at the bus stop, according to arrest reports released by the Gainesville Police Department. “An
    argument ensued,” and one of the people at the bus stop, whose name was redacted, “used a baton to hit the rear window of [the] vehicle.”

    Tyler Eugene Tenbrink, 28, of Richmond, Texas, got out of the Jeep and pulled out a gun, police said.
    — end excerpt —

    http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-richard-spencer-speech-20171020-story.html

    • The Wanderer

      Yep. Two brothers and a third guy. All from Tejas.

    • Jennifer R

      All three are being held on attempted homicide charges, and Tenbrink has a charge of a felon in possession of a firearm as well. He had previously been charged with kidnapping.

      • Shanzgood

        Hi Jennifer! Haven’t seen you in a bit!

        • Jennifer R

          Been stressed and flavors of busy. Did you see I revamped combat in my game like a week and a half ago?
          How have you been?

          • Shanzgood

            I’m ok, thanks! I didn’t see the game stuff because I’m not into gaming, sorry. I go “this is way more complicated than Pong” and get intimidated and run away.

      • redarmyzombie

        Because of course he would have…

    • Husband Of Mrs God

      Oh, fuck. Of course it’s the protesters’ fault.

      • whitroth

        Of course it is. I mean, look, these three had to drive 1500 mi to stop those Evil Outside Agitators….

        Btw, in FL law, I read that the others in the car are not just accomplices, but it’s as though they pulled the trigger… They are in soooo deep.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Ok is there an American expression equivalent to the Dutch one: “It’s not like we have played with marbles in the past” basically saying we did not grow up together so I am not taking your shit as if you were someone I’ve grown accustomed to one’s shitty behaviour” because I am about to need it.

    • Raan

      I think the closest thing we have is “Fuck off, you stupid piece of shit”.

      We’re a very direct people.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        And we are callled the blunt ones.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Or simply, “I don’t have to take your shit.”

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      In the South they say, “Bless your heart.”

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Not that I’m aware of. But may I borrow this? It seems like it could be useful.

    • Shrieking Denizen

      In French Canada we have “We haven’t watch the cows together haven’t we?”

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        I love this one!

    • ariel_gee_398

      The closest is probably, “I don’t know how they behave in [wherever person grew up], but that’s not okay.”

    • TJ Barke

      I don’t think so.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        the best equivalent I have read was: don’t take my kindness as a weakness.”

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      I don’t think we have such an expression, as we Americans seem to have lost our marbles.

    • Shanzgood

      “You don’t know me.”

      • Raan

        “Then let me get to know you, dammit!”

        • Shanzgood

          “Too late.”

    • marxalot

      “We’re not old friends.”

    • bbayliss

      “Fuck off”

      • Seek

        The classics are always the best

  • Covfefe

    Since this is the open thread, somebody somewhere today linked to a Fox News story, I think it was, about how thrifty Melania is compared to Michelle. Melania has four employers on her staff, who cost the taxpayer $476,700 a year while Michelle’s bloated East Wing Office had sixteen employees who cost the taxpayer $1.24 million a year. By the time I did the arithmetic, I couldn’t find the non-comment.

    So, limited as I am in arithmetic skills, it seems to me Michelle’s sixteen employees cost the taxpayer an average of $77,500. Take out 7.5% employer matching for social security and 1.1% for Medicare, and maybe an extra 1.4 percent for miscellaneous other things, Michelle’s employees got average gross wages, before taxes, of $70,000.

    But Melania’s four employees cost the taxpayer an average of $121,675. Take the same ten percent out of that, Melania’s employees have an average gross income of $109,000. But, being the Trumpenfrau, Melania only hires the best people, the greatest.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      To dress her and her stand-ins in nutty clothes and hide her Tiffany’s guy.

    • Thiazin Red

      Even if it was more, MO was much more active and did more than stand next to her husband looking miserable.

    • jesterpunk
      • bbayliss

        nope. As Barbara Bush said:
        “But why should we hear about body bags, and deaths, and how many…it’s not relevant. So, why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that?”

    • Anna Rompage

      How many people does it take to come up with one speech about how it’s bad to bully people on the internet? I mean really!

      • jesterpunk

        It takes a lot of work to look for a relevant Michelle Obama speech.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      All of her employees are body doubles and all had to pay for expensive boob jobs.

      • redarmyzombie

        Also, hazard pay for being around Donald…

        • SomeBigRedDog

          Pussy armor.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      If the source is Fox, I guarantee it’s bullshit.

    • Holly

      There’s way to much math, and too many big numbers in your post there Covfefe. You made my head hurt. You know what that means now? It means another glass of wine to help the hurting go away so thank you.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Also, Melania doesn’t actually do anything, whereas Michelle was very busy.

    • bbayliss

      Don’t bother, they still think Obama golfed more than trump.

  • Jennifer R

    Whoo, who besides me is showing up to the sacramento thing?

    • bobbert

      Yes

    • M3lod1us

      Wonkette and Co. drive safely in Sacramento, I see people run red lights all the time here and don’t want you to see it first hand.

      With that happy thought I will also be joining the crew at East Portal Park.

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah, holy crap no one anywhere in this country (or any other) seems to be able to drive.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I’m digging ‘Trix’s sweater. Looks like one I knit for myself a few years ago. Come to think of it, I’m not sure where that sweater is these days. Curious…

  • grindstone

    **Weevils Ate My Basmati…the Grindstone Story**

    gonna sell it to Lifetime

    • Thiazin Red

      Any evil husbands with dark secrets or stolen babies?

      • grindstone

        A conspiracy in the pantry. Is it the evil husband? Does he have…another pantry somewhere? Or does Grindstone have multiple personalities, one that just wants to be taken out for Indian food?
        Based on the bestselling book: the Joy of Cooking

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I never read “The Joy of Cooking” but I did read “The Joy of Sex.” To my great surprise, “Cooking” sold more copies than “Sex” – you’d think it would be the other way around.

          • Shanzgood

            A lot more people think they’re bad at cooking than think they’re bad at sex. Unfortunately.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s a very good point.

          • marxalot

            Kissing doesn’t last. Cookery does. Plus, when you don’t have someone to have sex with, you still need to eat.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I have the same complaint about both cooking and sex – I can spend 2 hours cooking a delicious lasagna, and my guests eat it all in about 10 minutes. There are strong parallels with sex. When I was in my 20’s, I would spend an hour getting dressed and styling my hair and putting on makeup for a date, and at the end of the evening I got a 10-second orgasm. Eventually I lost interest in both cooking and sex – I’d rather make a sandwich, and then read a good book.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        How about sexy vampires? I hear that sells well with the kids.

      • armed_bears

        Gotta have a dog.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’m betting it was only one of them, probably the lesser of the two weevils…

  • puredog

    Hey, Dok, are you wearing that same shirt DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY or what? Maybe you’ve got several of them. Just askin’ is all.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Not sure if this is the open thread, but I just read that Texas is holding an illegal immigrant teenager, basically hostage, to prevent her from getting an abortion.

    • HazooToo

      It is, and they are.

    • stumpknocker

      i’m sure those bastards will kick her out of the country into God knows what situation when she is too far and will go home thinking Jesus just loves them.

      • Walter Wellstone

        The tell themselves every day that it’s OK because they’re saved and they’re born again. If they didn’t they would probably kill themselves out of utter disgust with their own lives.

    • Walter Wellstone

      So, they’re protecting the anchor baby? I thought Republicans were against those.

      • stumpknocker

        they will boot her out when her water breaks.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I can’t wait until they find out 80% of abortions are performed on minority women. In 2040 their fear of a non white America will come to fruition…by their own legislation
        Damn, they are dumb.

        • Walter Wellstone

          I know, right? I’m sure President Bannon understands that but not even him can go against the pro-lifers, which are almost as powerful as the gun nuts (what a weird combination.)

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            “We revere life, that’s why Americans need assault rifles.”

            Yeah, that’s an odd mix.

    • Thiazin Red

      They’re trying to run out the clock and prevent her from getting one until its too late.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Despicable!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Yep, and a D.C. Appeals Court has ruled they must allow her to have an abortion, and the government has until Oct. 31 to find her a sponsor. Then Trump asked a court for an emergency order to block the Appeals Court ruling. If they can block it long enough, it will be too late to get one.

      • Shanzgood

        JFC the longer they make her wait the more dangerous and expensive it gets! It should’ve be considered torture! FUUUUCK!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        One of the judges deciding is hoping to be the next Republican pick for SC. Wonder which way he’ll go?

  • Walter Wellstone

    Am I the only one who sees what’s going on on top of Becca’s hat here?

    https://wonkette.com/624537/eugene-hippies-it-is-your-night-to-shine/img_1268

    • jesterpunk

      The penis hat? She posted something about that.

      https://wonkette.com/624537/eugene-hippies-it-is-your-night-to-shine

      Speaking of WONDERFUL, look at this penis on my head in Boise! No, not Doktor Zoom.

      • Walter Wellstone

        Oh, so it’s covered.

        • bbayliss

          Geeeez, try to keep up, that was like a year ago in trump time.

      • Subrok

        The penis was on his shoulder. He can deny it all he wants we have proof!

      • amrak63

        *sigh* I miss Penis Hat. I remember that time they opened for Harvey Danger. PH had such promise, but then their lead singer/glockenspiel and triangle player had that tragic accident involving Go-Gurt and badgers…

        • weighmaster

          And then the murders began?

  • amrak63

    Are you trying to kill me with sugar shock with these Wonkette Toddler pix?

    SQUEEEEEE *klunk*

    • OutOfOrbit

      who moved the fainting couch?

      • amrak63

        I’d like to know that myself (ouch).

    • rosenbomb

      Donna Rose and I had a wonderful conversation the other night in Boise. She asked me if I slept in a bed. I said yes.

      Good times were had by all.

      • Red Richmond

        That pic of doc zoom having tea with her looks intense AF.

  • amrak63
  • Holly

    It’s Friday! Yeah and fucking Hallelujah! This week couldn’t be over fast enough. Imma drink wine and eat to my hearts content and sleep late and gaze into my lovers blue eyes and watch movies and eat again and do nothing else all weekend. This is going to be a great weekend. Oh, I forgot naps…lots o’ naps.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That sounds lovely. May I raise my glass of chardonnay in your general direction? (I’m guessing east, because I live in Oregon.)

      • Holly

        As a matter of fact east would be correct if my geography is any good. Western Massachusetts. I will raise my glass of sherry to you out there in the beautiful state of Oregon. To a wonderful wine and song filled weekend!

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Cheers! May your weekend be Wonderful! Because you deserve good things.

          • Holly

            Thank you so much! I’m so glad to have met such an incredible woman in this fabulous place.

    • Sean Jungian

      Imma do the same except withou gazing into your lover’s eyes.

      • Holly

        He’s got the most gorgeous eyes and when I look into those pools of tranquility they send shivers up my spine and I get all goosebumply. I don’t think he’d mind if you wanted to try it.

    • Eileen Besse

      YES!

  • Thiazin Red

    I’ve been binge listening to the Judge John Hodgman podcast and maybe I should write to him about a long running dispute between my boyfriend and me. I say that the character of Fonzi from Happy Days was not cool. He was a 30 year old man who hung out with high school kids and performed favors for them for money. My boyfriend argues that Fonzi was cool.

    I will concede that Fonzi grew as a character, and showed a lot of maturity in the episode where Richie comes back from the Army. Henry Winkler also seems to be a nice person, and I’ve enjoyed his work in other roles. However, I contend that the Fonzi we meet early in the show is not cool.

    • Sean Jungian

      OMG, FIRST OF ALL, it’s FONZIE!!! Ai yi yi!!

      ;)

    • jesterpunk

      In the show he was kind of weird and no one ever answered what happened to Richie’s brother who went up the stairs and was never seen again.

      • Thiazin Red

        Like Donna’s little sister in Twin Peaks. I think we see her once in the pilot and never again.

    • bbayliss

      The Fonz was an old guy’s idea of what cool was.
      He never came close to Maynard G. Krebs

      • armed_bears

        I really thought he was co… Hey!!1!

      • Eileen Besse

        THIS. THIS. THIS.

    • Walter Wellstone

      When he got older, Fonzi got his shit together, went to law school and changed his name to Barry Zuckercorn.

      • Subrok

        and now you know the rest of the story.

    • Holly

      The Fonz wasn’t cool. Henry Winkler however is a very cool person. And his wife of 40 years beat breast cancer so he’s really big into Stand Up to Cancer.
      https://www.looktothestars.org/celebrity/henry-winkler

  • marxalot

    I only ask that Las Vegas NOT be scheduled between the 7th and the 12th, for I will be in Texas that whole time. I will be back at 17:00 on the 12th! Just please please not during that time!

  • Subrok

    Just found out my cousin’s wife is pregnant. They’re (like me) in their mid-30’s and she handed my aunt a framed photo of the ultrasound. Well, bully for them and now my mother is doing the wistful “when are you gonna find a nice girl and settle down”

    I told her “Mama, I don’t truck with nice girls!” Ha!

    We usually just commute in a sensible, environmentally-responsible vehicle built to the exaxting standards of who-the-fuck-am-I-kidding.

    • Thiazin Red

      I’m glad that my parents don’t care about that and accepted a long time ago that none of us like/want kids.

      • Subrok

        Eh, you could be my neighbors. They had a gigantic argument at 1:00 am about the fact that her cheated on her with another man. True bliss those two.

    • marxalot

      Mama always seemed to sing the same song,
      “You’ll never meet no decent girls in Dallas honky tonks.”
      Well, what she said is true, with that I must agree
      ‘Cause any girl worth having, wouldn’t have a thing to do with me!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Eco is good…

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Um. So, I just had a negroni, so I’m going to be real straightforward.

      My folks parted over my dad blackmailing my mom into me. He didn’t particularly want me either. Please don’t hold a human being hostage to somebody’s dumbfuck delusions about their ability to be a patriarch.

      • Subrok

        Um, I apologize if I offended you but I don’t understand. Please educate me.

    • Teecha

      I’m well over ideal breeding age, live in a country where sex outside of marriage is illegal and have been single for many years.
      My mum regularly tells me ‘jokingly’ that I am a massive disappointment to her for not sprogging up. She just wants to be a granny! My brother and his partner have been together for over 10 years now, and she doesn’t nip his head about it. ‘Because he thinks it would be cruel to bring a child into the world as it is today’

      My earnest desire to never produce a foof-fruit doesn’t enter into this.

      You have my sympathy and understanding.

  • HazooToo

    Guys, for those of you who are not on Twitter because it is a stressful nightmare hellscape, there is a dude who is currently creating an alternative. Specifically NOT for racists and harassers. This may be of interest to you. https://twitter.com/AdrianCJax/status/921467555474300933

  • armed_bears
    • Walter Wellstone

      Greed.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Puerto Ricans are a) Not Americans b) Hispanic/Mexican transplants c) Speak Spanish d) Aren’t Americans e) Are a lowly colony

      • armed_bears

        and aren’t Americans.

      • Roni Raven

        And it’s not Texans’ faults that Puerto Rican leadership has tanked its economy, and the people are too irresponsible to buy insurance, and a majority of the people didn’t have electricity before the storm anyway, so what’s the big deal?
        (I read the whole article and I feel stabby now.)

        • Eileen Besse

          Me, too….

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      They’re just economically anxious

      • amrak63

        They’re just economically anxious assholes.

        FIFY.

    • Raan

      A lifetime of being taught shitbag othering.

    • bbayliss

      Do unto others, then split.

    • redarmyzombie

      I say we make ’em trade places.

      • bupkus231

        Wouldn’t that be cruel to our Puerto Rican brethren?

    • jesterpunk

      Trump supporters…..

    • h4rr4r

      Racism. It is that simple.

    • Creepoman

      I believe the bumper sticker goes something like: I got mine, now fuck off.

      • h4rr4r

        I think on this case the bumper sticker that applies is a traitors rag or nazi flag.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Any asshole offering “active shooter defense” firearm training should be charged with fraud.

    • armed_bears

      Although “free training when you enter boot camp” would be one way to get comparable experience…

    • Subrok

      “Run like Hell” doesn’t need a three week course.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        We get taught “run, hide, fight” in like an hour.

    • Thiazin Red

      The one we had at work was basically, if possible get behind multiple locked doors.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I’m talking about a flyer on my window advertising “Advance skill techniques involving shooting on the move, precision shooting in a crowded environment, practiced and applied.”

        • H0mer0

          does that teach to shoot like the assassins in “Wanted”?

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Dunno. But for $299, I think I will instead opt for his Spartan! Unarmed Warfare class where I will learn a proprietary combat style mixing elements of Muay Thai, Krav Maga, Kenpo” and other totally badass-sounding things “to turn [me] into the ultimate Street Warrior!” in just 8 hours.

          • Seek

            To quote Mr. Bunny: “What a maroon.”

    • jesterpunk

      Is that the Ben Carson “tell everyone else to rush the shooter while you hide” class? Or the Ted Nugent “How to shit your pants” class?

      • Eileen Besse

        THIS.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        A shooting range near my office. So, Red Dawn class.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    I got my first “I like your hat!” this afternoon at the Sundance Market here in Track Town, where last night’s drinky thing happened.

    • Which lid were you sportin’?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The same one you’ve seen the fabulous Donna Rose wearing!

  • Thiazin Red

    I was going back through one of my old Crusader King 2 files, and it makes me a tiny bit sad that some of my characters weren’t real historical figures.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The world did not need an Lettigallian High Chief with a 27 Martial Skill, I assure you.

      • Thiazin Red

        Mostly, I’d like my queen who united the Britons and took back the island from the Anglo-Saxons to be real. She and her sister were pretty awesome.

  • marxalot

    Pride Parade tonight. I might even go! There’s a drag king show afterwards, somewhere nearby, I dunno. Maybe I’ll just stay home with my dog. I’m basically turning into a hermit.

    • armed_bears

      Hermit pride is a thing.

      • biologydave

        Agreed

      • Thiazin Red

        Hermits United

      • Subrok

        Ye olde “When you realize you’re a complete person” meme!

      • redarmyzombie
        • Persistent Demme

          I lived in England and was a teenager when all these sketches came out.
          What many (unfortunately) don’t get to see, is how they also made fun of station logos, production companies, announcers, and the breaks between shows.
          You were never sure when their show was over.

    • Amy!

      You should go!

      Emily Saliers is doing a show on her solo album tour in Saxapahaw (yes, Virginia, it’s a real place), and the only excuse I have for not going is that there’s nobody to go with and I’m practicing to be a Stylite.

      • marxalot

        Did you already get a practice pole, for sitting? And are you going with wagon wheel or square platform?

        • Amy!

          Ha! No, I’m just getting started. Working on the cranky behavior and solitude. I’ve already got the crazy eyes and ranting going.

          I was thinking maybe of splitting off from the main Stylite movement, establishing opposition to the bourgeois pretension inherent in requiring ownership of a pole and a platform. Have to work up a good sputtering gibber on the subject first, though.

      • Eileen Besse

        OMG, I read “Shylite.” I am be oldz.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        The anchorite lifestyle has always had an appeal for me.

        • Amy!

          Isn’t that a brewery in California?

          Come to think of it, that’s not a terrible lifestyle, either.

    • bbayliss

      Don’t ever let anyone shame you because you’re good company for yourself.

    • Courser_Resistance

      If I wasn’t driving Lyft, I’d be home, too. Gotta earn son $$ tho

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Looks like a boozy Boise!….

    • Eileen Besse

      LIKEY!

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    So where is Fuckface golfing this weekend? Mar a Largess, New Jerksy, Gonna fly to Puerto Rico to throw some more towels, Grab a little Pussy? Inquiring minds need to know!!!

    • jesterpunk

      I think either Virginia or Georgia. Mar-A-Lago doesnt open until after Halloween.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Scary thought………

        • jesterpunk

          They wait for the decorations to match his skin tone.

      • Eileen Besse

        Hahahahah! Calendar effs with the grifting1!

  • DuchessD’Orleans

    This week I had a very sexy dream about Vladamir Putin, and I have some pretty mixed feelings about it. In real life, however, I am fucking a total Chad and have nothing but good feelings about that, and I’ve been walking to the gym in my leggings, displaying my luscious gym booty to all the Incels. (Or not. This is New Orleans. Everyone gets laid here.)

    • Shanzgood

      I had an inappropriate dream about Justin and Sophie Trudeau.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Cripes! All I get dreams of are Mrs. Toomush. And when I wake up, there’s Mrs. Toomush….

        • marxalot

          Dreams do come true!

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Mrs. Toomush is worth dreaming about. I don’t know if my noncomment made that clear….

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Awwwwww…..

          • DuchessD’Orleans

            Whatever. I do not come here for sincerity.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            I approximate that remark….

        • Shanzgood

          I’m sure she’s happy to reap the benefits!

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            I’ll have to tell her those are benefits!….

      • redarmyzombie

        I had a dream that Donald Trump was trying to grope me. It was very unpleasant.

        The one with Obama as a 00 agent was much better…

      • DuchessD’Orleans

        As a teenager I was always having sex dreams about Robin Williams.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          All right, that’s too much information right there!….

      • Last night I had a dream that Jimmy Carter gave me a personal tour of The White House. Not in a sexy way, you pervs.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I’m sure it was educational….

        • DuchessD’Orleans

          Pass.

        • Arolpin

          Did you go up to the roof with Willie Nelson and smoke a joint?

        • aureolaborealis

          You don’t know it wasn’t sexy. Did you even ask if he knew lust in his heart?

    • Red Richmond

      The first time I read that I thought toy said you were a total fucking Chad. I was puzzled but, well, everything else you said seemed to check out against that statement so…Congrats? ¯_(ツ)_/¯

      • DuchessD’Orleans

        I’m a girl Chad. What are we called?

        • Shanzgood

          Stacy.

        • Persistent Demme

          What’s a boy or girl Chad?
          (And get off my lawn!)

          • weighmaster

            Isn’t that what f****d up the 2000 election in FL?

          • DuchessD’Orleans

            Someone doesn’t spend much time on Incel forums.

        • Red Richmond

          Stacey, I think. I dunno, I’m still waiting on this year’s edition of the Incel Slang Dictionary to arrive. At least, one that doesn’t have the pages about femoids stuck together.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Toomush here should remember that he is not 35 and not able to put 30′ scissor trusses up by himself. Nor should he try to throw 5/8″ sheeting onto the roof, either, when there is no one to catch it!…..But he is smart enough after the third stupid thing to go back inside, mix up a Mount Gay and water (Lime required!) and turn on Wonkette!….

    • bbayliss

      The day after I decked my attic with 3/4″ plywood I had a quadruple bypass.
      Had chest pains at home depot and said “This is not the place I’m gonna die.”

      • Shanzgood

        You timed that well.

        • bbayliss

          Wasn’t exactly planned.

          • Shanzgood

            I know, I was being silly. I’m glad you’re ok.

          • bbayliss

            Who said I’m OK? I’m always grateful for silliness.

      • Suttree

        Easier for others to hide your body and continue to collect your pension? Social Security? Not have to spend money on a funeral?

        • bbayliss

          I’m cheating death, everyday, so far so good.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Hey, I had mine 14 years ago. Are you a proud member of the Zipper Club?…

        • bbayliss

          yup.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            I keep forgetting the secret chest bump….but it is a pretty amazing thing to come back from the death you should have had, isn’t it?…

          • bbayliss

            yup, everyone in the family dies of heart disease.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Good on you. I am too learning that I am no longer 27

      • Subrok

        The real weird part is all of this seemingly manic “Go out and party, go enjoy yourselves!”

        Regaining consciousness at two in the morning in a chinese restaurant with my friends is not something I care to do anymore.

        • Courser_Resistance

          There are a LOT of things that I no longer choose to do & I’m better for it

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            It’s the learning that makes the difference….

  • capnkrunch

    Come to Chicago, I want to have a tea party with Donna Rose! I will bring doggokrunch; she is very well behaved at tea parties.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d19d2874d6e1f9207a0759fba6e5eabb489420affbb85506b168d75fa5b9195b.jpg

    • armed_bears

      Bandana says “I’m fun and snugly.”

      Crazy eyes say “Better let go of the leash if I see a squirrel.”

      • capnkrunch

        She’s basically a stuffed animal that’s pretty good at killing small animals.

    • Persistent Demme

      What a beauty!!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Doggocrunch has a nice face!….

  • Fun with Cthulhu

    JHFC, I just read two stories on the BBC: 1) Plans to feed poor children reconstituted food made from leftovers near expiry have sparked a row in the Brazilian city of São Paulo.

    A “row” over feeding poor people soylent green.

    And B) A Canadian man was found not guilty of rape because he believed he could have sex with his wife whenever he wanted.

    Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

    • jesterpunk

      They used the Trump defense?

    • Thiazin Red

      Don’t let Paul Ryan hear about that first one, he would be introducing legislation that food stamps can only buy reconstituted food slurry in a second.

    • Shanzgood

      By that same logic, anyone could say “I believe I can have sex with anyone I want at any time” and be found not guilty.

    • Subrok

      “Eat recycled food for a happier healthier life, be kind and peaceful to
      each other, eat recycled food. Recycled food is good for the
      environment, and ok for you.”

  • I am awaiting my bus home from the grocery store and it is significantly cooler than when i set out. I am regretting my choice of flipflops

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Um, flip flops? In Canuckistan? In mid-October?

      • It was 20C today.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I’m American. Can you translate that?

          • No. I only use farenheit when utilizing my oven.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Es ist Fahrenheit, Canadischen!!

          • Water doesn’t freeze at 0, it doesn’t deserve to be spelled right!

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Okay, you have a point there.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            So. 32 plus some buncha numbers for each number after 32 times something the fuck other. Is it plus something, too? I’m helping 2nd graders with math, but, other than the counting, and the adding three columns, we were told THERE WOULD BE NO MATH!!!!!….

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            20 times 9. Divide that result by 5. Add 32 to that. You get{{{ZZOTT!!!!}}}

            shit.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Open a google search. Type this in followed by a RETURN:

            20 C in F

            You will get 68 degrees F.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Nice

          • jesterpunk

            42?

          • Arolpin

            Roughly 68F. I really want to come up with a silly way to make it easier to convert CtoF or FtoC, but I know that it involved 9/5 or 5/9 and adding or subtracting 32, but I mentally have to work out 0C=32F and 100C=212F EVERY TIME to remember the order. (And I understand math, which is why I can work it in my head, but you would think after 4+ decades of doing the conversion I would have just memorized the 85 possible C degrees and their conversions.)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Thanks. I was told there would be no math.

    • bbayliss

      Big wooly socks are stylish with flip flops

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Furry flip flops were in order?

  • Holly

    And to make my weekend even better this turns up. This is how it’s done kids.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EPtvm-FOVQ

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Sgt. Johnson’s body was located a mile away from the point of the the ambush. Did a live but wounded Green Beret get left behind?

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/20/politics/us-niger-ambush-sgt-la-david-johnson/index.html

    • bbayliss

      Yer goddamn right he did. They were evacuated by a private contractor, Berry Aeronautics who did not do a headcount.
      GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I’m so pissed.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Oh my…

    • jesterpunk

      Rachel said last night that Trump’s ban on Chad caused them to pull out of Niger and helped contribute to the attack.

      • Subrok

        Rachel was misinformed. Adam Silverman at Balloon Juice makes it pretty clear the two are unrelated. Trust in stupidity.

        Of course my rapidly advancing case of intoxication could mean that I misread your statement but the ones saying she lied are nuts.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    EAST COAST

    That is all.

    • Subrok

      Counterpoint: WEST COAST

      • Lance Thrustwell

        They’re already there!

        • Subrok

          Chekm8t Libtard!1

          • Lance Thrustwell

            um… yeah!

          • Subrok

            Well it’s hard to beat BEST COAST

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Hmph.

          • Subrok

            Wait, what were we talking about?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Har! Dunno. Wait – Wonkbus to mid-Atlantic! That’s the ticket.

          • Subrok

            Wonkette Boycott of the Coasts — Mass Panic, Weeping / Gnashing of Teeth

          • Raan

            I’m sorry, did you mean to write “BEAST COAST”?

          • TJ Barke

            No no no, that’s LEAST COAST!

      • Shanzgood

        (Midwest?)

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I can only upfist this once….

        • Subrok

          They look up at those metal birds in the sky and say “I bet they’re eating lobster right now.”

      • Teecha

        This little conflab as given me a Missy Elliot earworm! Thanks!

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          ^^^^for “conflab”. I had to look that one up.

  • stumpknocker

    have you heard about the dumb shit in chief bought a fake renoir and here is the kicker, the original has been hanging in a museum in chicago since 1933 and the dumb fuck was too busy doing the deal to even research the painting’s provenance. and in true trump is a piece of shit fashion, douche boy is claiming the whole art world is wrong and he now owns the original, i only wish i could find out how many millions that fool paid for it.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      HA!

      • stumpknocker

        kinda a feel good trump story ain’t it.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          And a damned funny one. Rich people generally hire knowledgeable experts in these area, but not our boy Dampnut the Unjust.

    • jesterpunk

      If you find out let me know, I have some “original” paintings I can sell him.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        “That’s right, Mr. President, the artist always signed them ‘Renwar’.”

        • jesterpunk

          Its French.

        • Reximus

          and he was promised it was certified genuine “Nazi war looted”

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Probably.

            “Provenance? Provenance is for Nancy-boys, Donnie! Live a little, Motherfucker!”

          • Teecha

            Provenance? Place in France. Grow lavender there.

    • Reximus

      No worries, he probly paid for it with his ‘charity’s funds

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’m betting $500, and he’s been spending the last couple of decades trying to convince rubes that it’s real….

    • aureolaborealis

      “I got this Ren-woyer for a cool ten mil. Yooge deal. Best deal. Everybody says so.”

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    So, I had an esophageal ulcer last year and went for my follow up visit yesterday. I haven’t had any issues for nearly 10 months when they took a second look down my pneumonia hole and told me everything looked just fine and I’ve continued to take the Omeprazole, aka Prilosec as prescribed.

    However, I was told no spicy foods, no coffee, no tomatoes or tomato sauce, no spicy or Mexican food, no pasta no sody pop, no alcohol (which I don’t drink, anyway) and for crying out loud not even broccoli. Yes, I know most people hate broccoli but I’m the exception to the rule.

    I will now commence to starve to death. It’s been nice knowing you all.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Rice and beans…

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        One cannot survive on beans and rice alone and maintain one’s sanity.

        • oldmechanician

          well then how about rice and beans?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Since alcohol is out…

          • oldmechanician

            there’s a song about that somewhere. I think i heard Guy’s Allstar Shoe Band do it. don’t know how to upload.

          • marxalot

            Bread and gravy, gravy and bread…

          • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

            The navy gets the gravy, the army gets the beans.
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_gQb7gZ0aIw

          • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

            I thought they were the same as beans and rice but I suppose I was mistaken.

        • Sophia
          • Suttree

            Ha! This song rocks!

          • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

            Straight up!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          eggs?…

          • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

            They’re gonna have to put me on a suicide watch now. No fried foods including bacon.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hm. How about brown gravies and okra?

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        Okra Winfrey?

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Seriously, okra & gravy over rice is dee-lish. You can use vegetable stock and a lttle peanut oil if you’re watching the cholesterol.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Have you tried drinking aloe vera juice?

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        Do people do that?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It works wonders on stomach ulcers

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Hello Vera is a great name for a cocktail

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      WTF didn’t your Dr. just give you a list of things that you can eat? You know, like, “Water, potatos and ice cream, that’s it for you.”

      Saves time. Much easier to commit to memory.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        Really. They might as well as said, “eat dirt, fucker!”

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          I’m sure dirt is already on the proscribed list, yes?

    • Teecha

      Greek food. Minus the toms. Good luck!

    • amrak63

      Ascended Madoka help you. I have acid reflux, controllable with pantoprazole and generic Gaviscon tablets (really cheap at Wally World), but your case sounds significantly worse than mine.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        I’ve had acid reflux for a very long time and it got really bad last year when I got really stressed out over a combination of life’s little wonders.

    • amrak63

      Too bad this guy isn’t real. He could probably fix us both with one pill apiece.

      https://i.imgur.com/AJYpHc4.jpg

    • Suttree

      I have esophageal and duodenal ulcers, and chronic gastritis. They told me the same thing. Also to quit smoking. Everything I eat is spicy. I make spicy salads for gawd’s sake! I’m not giving up tomatoes or booze either. I have pretty much stopped drinking coffee though. They say no tea but I need my yerba mate to get up in the morning.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        I refuse to give up my coffee. On the other hand, I struck a bargain with my doctor and I got permission to have Mexican twice a month.

        • Suttree

          I take 80 mgs of Pepcid everyday and it does the trick. I was surprised about the ulcers though. i get occasional heartburn but it wasn’t anything terrible. They just did an upper GI endoscopy because I was already getting a colonoscopy. As least my ass is nice and clean! Colon cancer runs in my family.

        • Suttree

          I put hot sauce on everything. Really. I mostly just use Crystal though. It isn’t very hot.

  • Reximus
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      maybe it’s full of indica and he’s instagramming how he’s hanging at the beach getting stoned and watching the sunset

      • Reximus

        then he should dig a bit to see if someone is holding it?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or put down the phone and commence puffing…

    • h4rr4r

      Or he sells them and it’s and advertising shot.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Perhaps he was trying to make a sand castle and the waves kept washing it away until he was only left with a sand vape? No?

    • DrBigHead

      Now that’s just sad

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So a happy thing – I got my furnace fixed. It’s rather pleasant having the house warmer than the great outdoors.

    • Subrok

      That and hellfire from the canned clams. maybe a dash of Tabasco.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Congrats! And our leaking lead pipe issue was fixed today too. We still need to tear out all of the remaining lead (as per new, cute, reliable plumber, this is a remainder of when the first plumbing would have been installed in our ancient building) but in the interim we finally have running hot and cold water in the house. I’m so happy. Hurray for modern conveniences!

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      74 in southeast Wisconsin today. Not bad for Roctober 20th.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        73 in Northern Michigan! Woot!….

  • amrak63

    Since I mentioned these guys earlier:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9ZimwN_jys

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Here’s something for Robyn’s next “fashion of incredibly stupid people with loads of money to blow on ugly shit” series:
    https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/thong-jeans_us_59e92f01e4b0f9d35bc99820
    https://twitter.com/sangamangre/status/921141439026696193

    • jesterpunk

      Damn I just threw out a pair of jeans that looked like that after an accident with a dryer. Who knew I could have sold them for lots of money.

    • Anna Elizabeth
      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I could see you rocking those.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Me too. :D

      • Lance Thrustwell

        OH god damn. I want them too. In perhaps a slightly different way.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          xD

      • bbayliss

        Only if the thong and pants are separates.

      • stumpknocker

        how do you feel about liberal middle aged fat men?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I like them. :)

      • marxalot

        That looks uncomfortable.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Naw, I wear bikinis all the time. xD

          • marxalot

            Ah, well then, you’re accustomed to it. Me, I don’t wear underwear at all unless I can’t avoid it. :P

          • Anna Elizabeth

            All my undies are thongs. No panty lines. I was saying what I pay for panties, and my girlfriends around here said “Look at Ross. Cheap panties”.

            Cheap *granny* panties. Ick.

      • Teecha

        Anna, pls do not fall into 1998. It wasn’t a good look on anyone then. You spend your whole time hutching up your trews. Often with a little jump, which makes you look like someone who can’t keep their keks on.

        *source- me, wearing shit like this in the late 90s

        • Anna Elizabeth

          xD I don’t really want them. They are imported from Japan, I could probably buy a whole outfit for what a pair costs.

          I get cars slow down to watch me walk when I wear my jeans from Target, s’good enough. :)

    • Subrok

      This, this right here is why I do not feel bad about NOT having kids.

      We went some seventy plus years with nukes but the Internet is our greatest mistake.

      eta: by this I mean more navel-gazing and what not when we face real problems. anyway.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        Seconded, thirded and fourthded.

    • bbayliss

      I used to have pants like that, boy was I poor.

    • Sophia

      I got some old ones that are in a little better shape than that. Maybe I could just take out my frustrations by beating them against a bunch of rocks and make a few bucks out of it.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      This “fashion” bullshit is…

      …is…

      BULLSHIT!

    • weighmaster

      That’s how Mr. Master’s old jeans look when I can’t cut anymore patches out of them for his less old jeans.

    • marxalot

      Comrade Mom always made me thrown mine out when they got to that stage. Fine by me, since I hate bodysuits.

    • Doug Langley
      • Arolpin

        Without even clicking the link, I’m betting you are referencing So Fine. That is one of those bad movies my family loves. My mom flew out to see my brother’s new house last spring, and I drove up with the wife and kids, and my mom decided it was time to introduce her daughters-in-law to So FIne. My wife was unimpressed, and my sister-in-law was equally unimpressed. I’m not sure my mom approved of our wives at that moment.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Looks like I won’t be in Vegas when the circus comes to town after all, but it’s not too late to consider an AZ run. Tucson has a wonderful All Souls Procession parade on 11-5

  • Bill D. Burger

    Foolish me. Thought I couldn’t be shocked any longer by this cesspool –of-an-administration. Fucking stupid, huh?

    When asked if anyone had discussed the number of falsehoods and inaccuracies in his little self serving and Trump-pandering speech yesterday with John Kelly, the White House spokesperson, Surra’ Huckster, goddamned shill and empty vessel that she is, actually said, “No. It would be highly inappropriate to discuss that with a general.”
    Are you fucking kidding me? Just let that wash over you. “NO. IT WOULD BE HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE TO DISCUSS THAT WITH A GENERAL.” Words fail. Generals are immune from being held accountable for the truth? WTF? ___ We don’t live in some banana republic; this isn’t Col. Ghaddafi’s Lybia or Saddam’s Iraq____YET!
    We are a country of laws, a country of civilian authority. We’re no military dictatorship where someone like Generalissamo Franco and his boys run the show. Kelly and his cohorts are not even active duty.
    That was perhaps the scariest thing I’ve heard so far from this fake, mentally unhinged president and his mouthpieces and minions. Trump and his ex-military cabal are truly a danger to this republic. I really thought we were on firmer ground, but with the Republican quizzlings and enablers in Congress and a demented and unhinged Fucking Moron with an authoritarian mindset in the White House, the dangers to this republic are clear and present. Gawwd’ help us if this is truly where we are and the public is willing to stand by and allow it to continue.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6d697f97f4ced9bf5fe24c5868b03243a2ca5fe0890720ad7738a10de38f7b5b.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      This Fascist nonsense is a disgrace, infuriating. How did our nation get here?

      • Subrok

        We’ve always ahd this strain, it’s just more noticeable/acceptable these days.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yeah, you’re right. *shakes head*

      • Bill D. Burger

        Indeed. That statement by The Mouth of Trump was horrifying. All liars should be challenged and, of course, that means generals too.
        Sarah Hildabeast-Slanders and Generalissimo Kelly can eat shit and die.

        Dang…that put me in a foul mood! (ง︡’-‘︠)ง

        • DrBigHead

          And I frankly could not caré less that he is a four star General. Hell, that makes it worse as far as I am concerned.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Show me an American General, I’ll show you an Asshole. I’ll be damned if I’ll live in a Fascist regime. If there is any Dictator around here *I* will be that.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            This was just his Colon Powell moment….

          • Doug Langley

            His colon movement?

          • DrBigHead

            I for one welcome our military miniature-makin’ overlords

          • Anna Elizabeth

            *nods* :)

      • Suttree

        One third of the country are fucking idiots.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          *nods* They certainly are.

    • Reximus

      But is he one of Drump’s “My” Generals?

    • oldmechanician

      It aint the public that’s standing by, it’s the Peerublicans. Can you say sold out corporate toadies?

    • shivaskeeper

      Yeah. Even the military doesn’t work that way.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Deep breath. Grrrrrr….Deep breath. Grrrrr……Deep breath…………Grrrrr…….We are in this for some long haul. We are going to win. Grrrrr……

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Article 138 of the UCMJ says it is even appropriate for an active duty member of the Armed Forces to question a superior officer if they believe they have been wronged; not only is it appropriate, it is their right to do so.

  • Sophia
    • I want to ask “WTF is wrong with the mooch?” But i know the answer is AoT, K

    • Subrok

      Then he tried to decry all the people voting for the smallest option. Just another scumbag chumming the waters for his own gain.

    • Thiazin Red

      You know, besides the general being nazis thing, the fact that they try to pretend that they aren’t is really annoying. Don’t post a bunch of Holocaust denial and then try to pretend that you didn’t mean it.

      • Subrok

        This insane renewal to claim the Heer was not complicit with atrocities was and always will be utter bullshit.

        Remember that the Generals (Keitel, Jodl, Reichenau, Guderian, Rommel
        et al) didn’t give one fig for their oath once they were losing.

        eta: Franz Halder, now there’s a biography worth reading.

    • jesterpunk
      • Subrok

        Yup, it’s just about as cynical as you can get.

      • Teecha

        That’s the wankiest hashtag ever.
        #spotthewanker #ohforfuckssake
        #shutthefuckupnazi

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        #FuckyouScaramoochy…..

        • jesterpunk

          I am pretty sure he is saying people should block him on twitter with that post.

    • bbayliss

      Jesus christ, not this guy again

    • Lance Thrustwell

      WTF is he trying to say?

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        The Holly-Caust didn’t happen or wasn’t a thing.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I know for a fact that there were millions and each and every one of them was a better human being than The Mooch

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      How would jew know?….

    • DrBigHead

      No, just fucking no.

    • Bill D. Burger

      The Mooch digging himself out of trouble.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/7SDs1LY3YWhji/giphy.gif

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      All the Jews that could make the news if Jews could make news?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Message for The Mooch:

      https://i.imgur.com/wddzz.gif

    • Marion in Savannah

      What the holy, bloody, mind-boggling FUCK is wrong with him?

      • Suttree

        He’s a fascist.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      At the beginning of 1939 or at the end of 1939?

      What assholes.

    • Nockular cavity

      Keep digging, Mooch.

    • Persistent Demme

      Fool me once, shame on you.
      Fool me twice, GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!!

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    I gotz snow leopardz on my teebee box.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Squeaky kittens? (Snow leopardz are grand and wonderful creatures.)

  • CO
    • h4rr4r

      This works so well.

    • Thiazin Red

      The math checks out.

      • Marion in Savannah

        We were told there would be no math…

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I stand firmly behind the scientific approach.

    • TJ Barke

      To be fair, sometimes it just attracts whiny tone trolls.

      • whiny nazi trolls.

      • Suttree

        Those are the collaborators.

        • TJ Barke

          Well, enablers anyway.

      • jesterpunk

        If they are offended by someone criticizing Nazis there is a good chance they may be Nazis.

        • TJ Barke

          Or just whiny tone trolls.

    • The answer to “don’t call people you disagree with nazis!” is of course
      “I only call the nazis I disagree with nazis. The others are just assholes

    • SayItWithWookies

      They like to call themselves identitarians. Which is ironic, because they don’t like it when you tell them their identity is a Nazi.

  • shivaskeeper

    Wonkers, if you have a chance to go to a drinky thing. Go.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yes, Sergeant!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Did you make it to Eugene last night?

      • shivaskeeper

        Yes. And I made it home. Portland to about Wilsonville was absolute shit heading south.

    • marxalot

      So long as they don’t hit Vegas while I’m out of town
      TUESDAY THE 7TH THROUGH AFTERNOON SUNDAY THE 12TH
      then absolutely!

    • bobbert

      Been there. Will do again tomorrow.

    • oldmechanician

      My problem is that Spokane is only 3 hours form Missoula. Too close to be a natural stopping place. Maybe they could do a daytrip or an overnight sortie.

      • Subrok

        “Too far to drive sober, too close to drive loaded.”

    • Subrok

      You know both Trix ans wonk-babby are much shorter in person.

      • shivaskeeper

        I know. Trix makes up for height with personality. Donna Rose also, too.

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1890, Jelly Roll Morton. ” His composition “Jelly Roll Blues”, published in 1915, was the first published jazz composition. Morton also wrote the standards “King Porter Stomp”, “Wolverine Blues”, “Black Bottom Stomp”, and “I Thought I Heard Buddy Bolden Say”, the last a tribute to New Orleans musicians from the turn of the 20th century.”
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jelly_Roll_Morton
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fa7d906d1cb4967373e381fcfd748501dc868da639d1cba8706d313c1312251a.jpg

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Really important guy.

      • Arolpin

        Yep, Jelly Roll, Fess, Dr John. Pretty much an unbroken line (with other luminaries thrown in, but those are the three who define the New Orleans Jazz/Boogie-Woogie sound for me).

      • Subrok

        I’m showing my ignorance but —

    • Subrok
    • Suttree

      I used to work at a jazz club in New Orleans called the Funky Butt. Good times!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Jelly roll, um, used to mean sex….I don’t want to belabor the point, but….

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Donald Trump: I didn’t say that and I have proof.
    WH: We don’t have proof.
    Lara Trump: I read the transcript. He said it but you’re taking it out of context
    WH: There is no transcript.

    • Sophia

      Why is Lara Trump listening in to a sacred moment?

      • Thiazin Red

        How DARE someone listen in on a sacred call!!! We shared the transcripts with dumb son and wife, whats wrong with that?

  • Marion in Savannah

    Oh, goody! Another “Democrats In Disarray” piece. Just what we all need…

    (That’s the comment I’m attempting to leave on this thing. Which, OF COURSE, will be in moderation for hours and hours and hours…)

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/20/opinion/sunday/trump-resistance-radicals.html

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Fuck the NYT. I used to respect them. Because they used to be worth respecting.

      • Suttree

        I gave up on them around when we invaded Iraq. I had no desire to scream at my Sunday paper anymore. I’m pretty sure that was the week that they had diagrams of mobile chemical warfare labs and an explanation about aluminum tubes (being used for centrifuges?).

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Two words. Judith. Miller.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          The Colorado Springs paper reprinted that I do believe.

    • CO

      Written by an editor of the Nation who has been pushing pro-Russia propaganda. Give me a break.

      • Sophia

        What happened to The Nation? I used to read them

        • CO

          The publisher/senior editor Katrina vanden Heuvel is married to a man named Stephen F. Cohen who is a Russia apologist. I don’t know when the change to the publication happened but when it did, fact checking went out the window.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Just checked the mail…I got my “Citizen’s Handbook 2017-2018” from my local city government today. It is a very high-quality, glossy, full-size, 48-page booklet in full color, with lots of artistic color photographs, and with chapters such as “Supplier Diversity” and “Building Community” and “Improving our Parks.” There is no chapter on Accessibility Services, which explains why we had to petition the City Council for two years in order to get just FOUR handicapped parking spaces on our 10-block-long Main Street (they are metered, and UPS and FedEx trucks like to park in them). I get one of these booklets every year, and every year I wonder how much they spent to print this useless thing for a city of 110,000 people. I bet if I call them on Monday to ask, I will have to leave a message, and nobody will call me back. Are any of you Wonkers knowledgeable about printing costs? What do you think something like this costs to print and mail? There are 50,000 occupied homes in this town and the surrounding subdivisions, and I’m guessing they mailed it to every one of them.

    • How many pages?
      Are all the pages glossy?

      • Marion in Savannah

        48, yes.

        • Saw the 48 just as I hit enter and went…meh. Figures.

          • Marion in Savannah

            If I had a dime for every time I’ve done that I could sail around the world!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Every page is thick, glossy paper. 48 pages, stapled, 8-1/2 x 11 booklet. Full color. Weighs 7 oz.

    • Marion in Savannah

      It’s been about 40 years since I worked in the printing bidness, but even back then a production like that would demand a 4-color press, possibly a web press, and sophisticated bindery. No, it was NOT cheap.

    • ok, cordin to a price ninja thingy thing, it is about 25kish give or take, though I guessed on binding and paper weight (went for mid-high quality) for about 40k booklets at 48 pages each

      • ooo but if you go for fancy binding and top quality paper, it ups it to near 40k

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Wow. That would be OK if it actually contained useful information, but it doesn’t contain a single piece of useful information, it’s just bullshit PR. I think I will call the local newspaper and suggest they do a story on this.

      • Shanzgood

        Plus postage and any sort of packaging and paying office staff to send them out.

        • good point! So, over under about 50kish, since she had closer to 50k books and my calculations were for 40k.
          Now I am messing with it trying to see how much books cost for other things XD

          • Angela Ruzzo

            At first I said 43,000 households, but I forgot about the county subdivisions that surround the town, which is where I live, so I changed it after looking that figure up. I do not actually live IN the city, but I live close to it. For all I know, they sent it to every household in the county, which might be double that figure.

      • h4rr4r

        Does that include the design and layout?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      What did I get in the mail today? The notice from Anthem that my health insurance plan will end Dec 31 and they won’t be offering any next year.

      Just have to wait till after Nov 1 to take a peek and see what options I’ll have.

      PS: Fuck you, Donald, this is your fault.

      • Co worker got her official notice (we got an email one the other day) that her premiums are going up.
        She thinks she is a libertarian. She was bitchin about this is why I left a company before and I told her…free hand, you know, and it is going to be everywhere.
        That sobered up the entire office a minute.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I was just watching a show about housing in Sweden, and they said Swedish people pay between 60% and 70% of their salary in taxes. But look what they get for it…free health care, subsidized day care, free education, over 400 days of maternity/paternity leave. Meanwhile, we are being nickel-and dimed to death in the US, and it will get a lot worse very soon.

          • h4rr4r

            Sweden’s top tax rate is 59% so I can’t see the average being that high. Maybe they added the VAT and sales taxes and such.

        • Red Herring

          Our insurance brokers are expecting a first bid of a 20% increase that they hope to negotiate down to 10%.

          And we are a partially self insured company.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That is bad news, I’m sorry to hear that.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      One……………………..Milllion dollars?….

    • therblig

      do you have a local election coming up by any chance? that’s usually when shit like this gets mailed. bet there are stunning pictures of all the incumbents. you’d think that in an age when even my 85 year old mother has email and can navigate the web, that wasting money on killing trees would go away. probably around $100,000 (enough for a shitload of handicapped parking signs) when you factor in the outsourced artwork (unless you have graphic designers on staff), printing, and mailing services.

    • thewalkindude
  • stumpknocker

    is it just me? or have you noticed that republicans only respect the lives of our troops when a democrat is in the white house?

    • jesterpunk

      They dont respect them when a Democrat is in the White House, they just use them as a convenient thing to blame Democrats for.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      They treat them as shiny objects that they can use when necessary to thump their opponents over their heads with.

      It’s just like the KKKhristians and their buybulls.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Coincidence? Nah I don’t think so! Somebody or something is trying to warn us about Trump

    http://money.cnn.com/2017/10/20/news/economy/deficit-2017/index.html

    • SayItWithWookies

      Oh, the deficit has increased under our fiscal watchdogs’ watch? Well, we need that tax cut now more than ever.

  • Bill D. Burger

    If someone asked Surra’ Huckster to recite the 1st Amendment to the Constitution:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b14ac2a55e24de9507bbbc4f4f901289ee5c92407a951171a60d2d95209ad380.jpg

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      How dare you question a 4 star general?!?!

      https://i.imgflip.com/159jyg.jpg

      • Bill D. Burger

        Paid Federal Employee, Surra’ Hildabeast-Sanders, who lies for a living, should sit her fat ass down and watch Ken Burn’s “The Vietnam War” before, lying ingrate that she is, she barks out anymore nonsense about questioning our generals; and by the way, John Kelly is now a paid civil servant and retired from the military.

        Trump put him out in front to clean up his lies, and then sent him out there with, what I can only believe is more misinformation and put Kelly in a rotten position. And like a good soldier ~sigh~ he spewed out those lies and any honor or integrity he ever had with them.

        Kelly needs to explain himself and he certainly owes the congresswoman an apology.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Kelly is a disgrace to our fallen military people. Including his own fallen son.

          No shame.

          I must go puke now.

      • Red Herring

        I just am remembering how Donald fucking Rumsfeld pissed on all the 4 Star admirals who held the titles of Commander-in-Chief Atlantic/Pacific Fleet (CINCPAC/CINCLANT) and changing their traditional titles just to jerk off W Bush and “put them in their place “ thereby shitting on Naval tradition.

        Tradition in Naval services is kinda a thing

    • Subrok

      Eh, if you really wanted to insult her you just say she’s a cheap, FEmale impersonation of Ron Ziegler.

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      There is something “off” about that pic. I can’t put my finger on it.

      Nor would I want to.

  • Picabo
  • shart of turin

    Is it too early to begin reminding breitarters that their families are dreading the holidays with them? I find myself excited about the war on Christmas for the first time in… ever.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Aux Armes, Citoyens! The War on Christmas is nearly upon us again!

      • h4rr4r

        Put Saturn back in Saturnalia!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Put the Yule back in the Yuletide!

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Put the fest back into Festivus!

          • therblig

            put the amex back in xmas

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Yeah. But that’s what they want.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            The Airing of Grievances is going to need extra time to be scheduled this year.

      • AJ Milne

        On it. Filling out my ‘Merry War On Christmas’ cards this very hour.

        … always good to get that done well in advance, I find. The holidays can get _so_ busy so fast.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Well Done, Soldier. :)

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Has anybody gotten their Soros War on Christmas Battle Kit yet?

      • AJ Milne

        Mine’s here. But the artillery spotters are still waiting for theirs…

        Maddening, really. Everything else is go, ammunition’s here, but we can’t start walking the shells into the Home Depot tree lot until that gang are kitted out.

      • shart of turin

        I’ve been saving my Soros Paid Troll money all year for that baby. Can’t wait.

  • bbayliss

    “The code has been broken, so you have to assume this was like an intervention by people felt there was nothing else that would change it,” Beschloss concluded.
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/msnbc-compiles-perfect-supercut-of-political-leaders-lambasting-trump-this-week/

    • Subrok

      The movie will star Matthew Mcgaghaey usurping the British sailors who died to break the Enigma code.

  • CO
    • Persistent Demme

      Thank you for that Friday Nice-Time video!

    • Arolpin

      Dammit! Don’t make me think nice times about any sportsball players who play for Texas* teams! It’s bad enough that I kind of have to cheer for Jose Altuve (unless he’s playing the Yankees), and JJ Watt appears to be a good person, and now another one.

      * I give San Antonio a pass, because both David Robertson and Tim Howard are really good people, and Popovich stands on the side of justice.

  • Doug Langley

    Work was pretty good today. Speak as little as possible to boss and just do the work.

    One thing. Was taking info on files onto list on clipboard. Instructions a bit complex, so had a post-it note with notes on it. Moved it from page to page as I worked. At one point, I put it on the shelf, went to men’s room, came back, got clipboard, went back to work. Noticed the post-it note was gone. Did it fall on shelf? I got up and walked to shelf to check. Boss: “What’s wrong?” Then followed a 5 minute discussion on my missing post-it note.

    It’s crazy working in a situation where your every move is watched and anything out of the ordinary is immediately questioned. “You’re doing something unusual! Explain!”

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yikes. I wonder if your Boss has anxiety issues?

      • Doug Langley

        She can get really anxious. This has to get done! That has to be done! This is top priority!! No, that’s the top priority!!!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yeah. My ‘rents both had anxiety. They reacted like that all the time, every day.

          • Doug Langley

            My mom was much like that. I felt like walking on eggshells constantly, wondering what would bring another tirade.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Exactly. ~hugs~

            When I paint my nails, I wave my hands around to promote drying. It’s probs a useless thing, but also too harmless.

            Mom was always like “What’s wrong? What are you doing?”

          • Begin Anew Day

            donnie T calls hand waving “exercise”.

            So you could tell your mom that you’re training for the Olympics or something.

        • Begin Anew Day

          Yeah. That’s bad. I’ve had a few like that. Contagious Panic Syndrome.

        • Red Herring

          Just guessing but she doesn’t sound confident. Sometimes the best way to lead is from behind. Shifting priorities like that could indicate she is being pulled in several directions . My advice is to do your best to be a supportive team member.

          Tough I know

          • Doug Langley

            Oh, I try, I try. I’m always “Okay!” “I’ll get right on that!” “Almost done!” Sometimes it gets a decent response, other times it doesn’t.

    • eka

      wait, but what happened to the sticky note? this could drive me crazy if i don’t find out, you know … like when you keep looking for things even if you don’t need them anymore after all.

      that does sound really frustrating. i feel trapped and watched at work sometimes even though it’s nothing like that, i don’t know if i could ever relax being actually watched constantly.

      • Doug Langley

        No idea what happened. It could only have dropped off in a small area, and did a little search for it, but no dice. But with boss nearby, no way was I going to do anything weird. I just made myself another one.

        • Red Herring

          Your boss sounds like a jackass. Are you new at the job or been having issues?

          Edited after reading more. Probably not a jackass

          • Doug Langley

            Three month contract, will be over in one week. Took the job solely to make some money and that’s it. I’ve detailed before all the ways she pushes my buttons.

          • Red Herring

            That explains a lot. Short contract gigs suck. For both employees and managers

          • Doug Langley

            Even the assistant, who was perm, left. She got a job with another branch. She says it’s closer to where she lives, but I couldn’t help noticing she got pretty down in the dumps when spending time with boss nearby.

        • Red Herring

          Or reading more below maybe she is new or having issues

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Celebratory birthday dinner tonight is sushi at a restaurant appropriately-named “I Love Sushi”.

    I haven’t been in a celebratory mood, though. Hopefully that will change.

    • h4rr4r

      I am sure it will, after the sake.

      • Moebym of the Returners

        Which coincidentally is what I drank on my 21st…eleven years ago. I’m so old. :(

        • h4rr4r

          Smile, you’re younger than me!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          32? Pshaw! I’m 44, and I’ve only just begun. ~hugs~

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            yer all young ‘uns! For reference, when I was in college, Loverboy was popular.

          • Anna Elizabeth
          • Zombishroom

            Them pants were tight!

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            JFC. I have that fuckin’ album.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I thought only Thai restaurant do puns… Here anyway.. Like Beau Thai.. and such

      • Roni Raven

        Siam Nara is one I know of.

      • Teecha

        Fishnchip shops do in the UK. One by me is called For Cod’s Sake. And I used to frequent The Codfather.

    • memzilla Ω

      There’s a sushi place near Foley Square where all the lawyers go for lunch called “Sosumi.”
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .
      .*ba dum tsss*

  • John Iwaniszek

    boo. you never come to Raleigh. sad face

    (Have fun!)

    • Begin Anew Day

      I feel your pain.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Love ’em or hate ’em, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s plane crashed 40 years ago today. Ronnie Van Zant used to say he didn’t think he’d live to 30. He died a few months shy of his 30th birthday.

    • Nounverb911

      Also the Stock market crashed 30 years ago today, down 22%, and Nixon’s Saturday Night Massacre was 44 years ago today….

      https://twitter.com/WestWingReport/status/921180011280912392

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        I remember in 1987, I was in college and saw my roommate’s girlfriend on the street. I said “What’s going on?” and she said “The stock market crashed and a US navy destroyer fired on Iran.” I thought she was joking around.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      20-anything is terribly young to die.

      • Subrok

        Nothing like having two tattoos (for two dead friends) and yet still being scared of needles/flu vaccine..

    • Anna Elizabeth

      :(

    • Subrok

      Ah yes I remember, that was when Steve Buscemi was unleashed upon the globe and we’ve been living in his reality ever since!

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    ‘Imbecile’ Donald Trump slammed by MPs for UK crime tweet

    Theresa May is asked to speak out as the US President claims a rise in UK crime is down to the “spread of radical Islamic terror”.

    By Andy Hayes, News Reporter

    British MPs have accused Donald Trump of “fearmongering” and of making “inflammatory and ignorant statements” after he claimed a rise in UK crime was caused by “radical Islamic terror”.

    Among a number of comments on social media, co-leader of the Green Party, Caroline Lucas, tweeted: “OK @theresa-may, this is a test. Will you publicly condemn this outright fearmongering?”

    Labour MP Wes Streeting also tried to involve the Prime Minister, writing: “Please tell me again why we’re rolling the red carpet out for this imbecile, @theresa-may?”

    https://twitter.com/CarolineLucas/status/921334944076632065

    Another Labour MP, Yvette Cooper, said: “It is appalling that we have reached the point where inflammatory and ignorant statements from the President of the United States are now seen as normal.”

    The US President wrote: “Just out report: ‘United Kingdom crime rises 13% annually amid spread of Radical Islamic terror.’ Not good, we must keep America safe!”

    He was referring to a report issued by the Office for National Statistics, which said the overall number of offences registered by police forces rose to 5.2m in the 12 months to June – an increase of 13%.

    The previous year’s total was 4.6m.

    https://twitter.com/wesstreeting/status/921368229926309888

    More at the link.

    • jesterpunk

      He is why no country wants to share anything with us anymore.

      • Thiazin Red

        The next president is going to have to go on one hell of an apology tour.

        • Teecha

          If there is a next president.
          Or world to apologise to.

        • Canis Greyhame

          No country will want to enter into an international treaty with the U.S. again, since Trump weasels out of every agreement. What is the word of the President worth to them, after this?

    • TJ Barke

      Ignorant or willfully mendacious? We may never know.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Interesting question. I recall Nixon was mostly mendacious and I doubt Trump is clever enough to be all that Nixonian.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        AOT,K, except he cant tell which is which…

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      “moron” “imbecile” ….what’s next?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        You can just imagine how imbecile sounds with a British accent… Do they say imbecile with the second I long?

        • Jeffocaster in the West

          im ba sigh el

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Dayum.. Who saw that 4 syllables coming across the Atlantic…?

            Their English is quaint, but we West Coast North Americans could teach them a thing or two…

          • Teecha

            It’s not 4 syllables. I work with Brits from across all 4 nations and none of us make it 4.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            That makes more sense…

          • Teecha

            I’m pretty sure John Cleese uses it in fawlty towers. If you care to do additional research…

          • Beanz&Berryz

            John Cleese would know how to say it… that’s Authority… Much higher than Jefferson ShitWhistle Sessions will ever have…

          • Teecha

            Also too you can trust me coz I’m a teecha.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Teechas is the best… And as for Miss Nicholini in sophomore English class… oh wait… that might be a different thing…

          • Teecha

            If she inspired in you a burgeoning love of her subject, she was doing a fab job. 😉

          • Beanz&Berryz

            She did good…

        • Teecha

          Im-buh-seal

          (I’m from the south)

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Trump. Kelly. Next would be Sessions.

    • President Moron Dotard (R)

      It was Matt Gertz on Twitter who found out that OAN was what Trump was watching before he sent the Tweet.

      https://twitter.com/MattGertz/status/921400192762630149

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        The Onanism Network? Sounds about right.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        You just know they will skewer us with Brit mockery over this.

    • amrak63
    • Canis Greyhame

      The overall number of offenses on the rise? So more purse snatching incidents, possibly wankers getting drunk and pissing on the boots of a passing bobby? Nah, must be terrrerists! Mooose-limbs!

      • Teecha

        Depends on the numbers. The other measure of crime shows overall crime is down. This one is about reported crime.

        The current gvt are cutting back on police budgets. These stupid fucking tories are fucking stupid.

      • CripesAmighty

        Overtime Parking Epidemic!!!11!

    • yyyaz

      To our cousins across the pond:
      Please feel free to piss at will upon the travesty our dumb countrymen decided to embarrass us with.
      Sincerely,
      All Americans who hate this fuckwad with the heat of a thousand suns

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Oh-oh, gotta go throw some onions and pepper pieces on a frozen pizza so it looks sorta like supper for when Mrs. Toomush gets home!….

    • Subrok

      Oh yeah, the chicken was supposed to cook for two and half hou–Spaghetti-O’s it is then!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Slice up a couple black olives and make it special…

    • Doug Langley

      She must have strong teeth if she enjoys frozen pizza.

  • Thiazin Red

    I think I’m going to get a pumpkin this weekend. Now I need to think of a clever carving idea. Previous year ideas include John Waters, the evil goat from The Witch, one of the douches from Ghost Adventures.

  • Serai 1
    • Subrok

      That is adorable, those two probably haven’t seen each other for a year or more.

  • President Moron Dotard (R)
    • Canis Greyhame

      At this point, I half expect someone in the news to come out with irrefutable proof that Donald J. Trump was actually born in Kenya.

      • Suttree

        He’s a pod person.

      • amrak63

        Kenya libelz!

    • gallbladder

      And Karma salivated like an Alien in the rafters…

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      It took longer than it should have to find the LAT article, but:

      At the Pentagon, Mattis suggested to reporters that he would say little pending results of the investigation. “We at the Department of Defense like to know what we’re talking about before we talk,” he said. “And so we don’t have all the accurate information yet. We will release it as rapidly as we get it.”

      UM…with all due respect, shouldn’t you have known why we were in Niger before we went there?!?

      • gallbladder

        Look who he’s working for.

      • Suttree

        Islamic terrorism is the only answer Mattis needs. He is a true believer that this is the greatest threat ever faced by America. The New Yorker had a profile on him a while back.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      The tv media breaks this news in 3….2……1…………uh……3………2…….1…….hello?

    • bbayliss

      Holy Toldedo!!!
      Who gave the stand down order?

    • jesterpunk

      If only someone warned us last year shit like this would happen if Trump was elected.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • ariel_gee_398

      The last time Trump felt terrible was when Nancy O’Dell refused to fuck him.

      • AJ Milne

        The last time Melania felt terrible, in contrast…

  • Sophia

    Hey! Donna Rose! I have tea party experience. Can I haz some tea please?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6771e723f38e23baef2ff09604b62ee77c9032b1cc8ea67c29a06593fdd95411.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Awws.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Donna Rose is running the Tea Party? Good for her!

  • Moebym of the Returners
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Haven’t heard the word twerp in years.

    • Teecha

      That’s very generous of him. Not sure his granddad would agree with the gentle approach

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Churchill’s hate fascists. It’s something of family deal.

  • Jennifer R

    Notorious furry nazi, pedophile apologist (at a minimum), beastophile, and drunk driver extraordinaire (well losing your legal ability to ever drive for a ton of DUIs counts right?) is now raising money for a children’s charity. I rather suspect this is him trying to get close enough to abuse a kid or seven.
    https://twitter.com/That_Edward/status/921515411593506816

    • Anna Elizabeth

      OMG

      • Jennifer R

        People are bombarding extralife right now, asking if they want someone who defends pedophila to be raising money for them.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Good.

    • h4rr4r

      How many DUIs does that take?

      I am sure it is more than it should be.

      • Jennifer R

        3 to 7 or more depending on jurisdiction. He lives in one of those shitty southern states as well, so it’s probably on the high side.

    • TJ Barke

      What is the world I live in?

      • gallbladder

        “120 Days of Sodom” might come close to describing it…might.

      • The same world we all live in.

      • Jennifer R

        I know, man, I know.

  • Doug Langley

    Almost forgot! Today’s installment of . . . The Fountainhead!!!

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/2017/10/fountainhead-villain-protagonist/#disqus_thread

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Twilight is a better love story.

    • bbayliss

      “Scenes and plotlines like this show that Ayn Rand had the potential to be a great writer.”
      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

      • Doug Langley

        She had moments here and there, but the overall effect left much to be desired.

    • Nounverb911
      • Doug Langley

        Adam says he’ll do a move review once he gets the bulk of the book out of the way.

        Fun fact: Gary Cooper and Patricia Neil fell in love during the shooting, so at least the love scenes ring true.

        • Nounverb911

          Still it was the most mis-cast movie ever….

          • Doug Langley

            Ayn Rand wanted Cooper for the role, wrote the script, and badgered the director into shooting it just the way she wanted.

            So when the film sank at the box office, she blamed everyone else.

    • Suttree

      Ugh. I read that shit about 20 years ago. Never again!

  • Nounverb911
    • Subrok

      Ann is a treasure, she’s just not mean enuf!1

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    First world problems, I get hired for a dope case and defendant doesnt have full down payment.

    Spouse is an excellent attorney and knows how to price a case. Says are you fucking kidding me for the only 5 100s on her bed plus partner cut and my dinner.

    I’m considering that whole vow of poverty and just saying fuck it

    • h4rr4r

      Sounds like you could get paid via something else.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I like money, an ambivalent on denomination

        • h4rr4r

          I was just making a joke. Besides by dope you probably meant that vile opioid stuff.

    • SisterArtemis

      I really wanted to be able to read “dope case” as something akin to The Bitchin’-est Case Evah!

      Sadly, it was not to be.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Why doesn’t the defendant’s excellent attorney spouse represent him?

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Arbys doesn’t pay for that roast beef

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Too thin a cut…

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Just do what some prick tried to do to me once: blow through the retainer, then request appointment of a PD.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I end up not getting paid for a fair amount of work i do. My better half has an opinion on thst assignmement of labor

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I got stuck with a felony drug case for $250 once. I’m glad MrsMatt, Esq. wasn’t around to see that fiasco.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            When you do a lot of work and don’t get paid on a shitty case.. I just yell “health insurance!” Trump card!

    • Ling Ling

      Time and materials work leads to some strange propositions.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Time is indeed a flat circle

  • Nounverb911
  • President Moron Dotard (R)

    Motherfucker STILL FUCKING LIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    https://twitter.com/jeffzeleny/status/921514254792101888

  • Begin Anew Day

    Doktor Zoom at High Tea?

    Any Video?

  • P’jama Pahnts
    • Suttree

      I just got mine in the mail yesterday. It’s one of the few things I don’t read on the innertubez.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Holy fuck.

      Before walking off the stage, Kelly told Americans who haven’t served in the military that he pities them. “We don’t look down upon those of you who haven’t served,” he said. “In fact, in a way we are a little bit sorry because you’ll have never have experienced the wonderful joy you get in your heart when you do the kinds of things our servicemen and women do—not for any other reason than that they love this country.”

      I WILL FEEL JOY IN DYING?

      YOU EXECRABLE ASSHOLE.

      • gallbladder

        Beat me to it. Especially joyful for wars wrongly committed.

        • Mary Theresa

          So I’m thinking we have been in this war with Boka Haram and ISIS for quite some time now. We have the military technology thru satilites to locate and track them and the wars still persist. Who is profiting most here to keep these agendas going?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I save my pity for pitiable excrescences like this Haemunculous John Kelly. Damn him, and damn all these Fascists.

      • Doug Langley

        So is Kelly saying he won’t be completely happy until he dies?

        • C4TWOMAN

          Who are we to criticize a man’s wishes?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        also too, FUCK the idea that only service members can be patriotic or love our country

        • C4TWOMAN

          Speaking a s a veteran, I can say with 100% certainly, many people who enlist do so out of poverty or lack of opportunities. Such people are agnostic patriots.
          Not a judgement, just a fact. This has always been true to some extent throughout the history of western warfare.
          And lets not talk about how the British Navy “recruited” sailors before the modern era. Patriotism had nothing to do with it.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Some also enlist as an alternative to jail. I have no beef with why people enlist, nor with paying them their due respect. But this bullshit where we are all supposed to fall to our knees and worship the “war fighters” like some sort of demi gods is out of control.

          • Arolpin

            That went away in the 80s. Of course they started doing it again after 9/11, but it’s still very hard to make that happen. If a recruiter is having a bad month, and the kid tests well, and the judge will write the letter, they MIGHT go for a waiver, but not if it’s for drugs.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            This is so true. I come from Appalachia, and for so many young people there, the military is their only decent option for a future, simply because they are so poor. No money for college. No money for trade school. No decent jobs in the area.

          • Doug Langley

            My niece went into the Navy cuz it was cheaper than college. Today she has a master’s degree, a house, and a real future career. It was a good deal.

          • Arolpin

            I went into the Navy because I ran out of money halfway through college (and because my 2.6 GPA let me know I wasn’t taking it seriously). As I neared the end of my enlistment it was go to OCS or leave and just go to college on my own. Then I got a chance to move to NYC and I figured it was worth a shot. The skills I learned in the Navy got me from never sending an email to building a nationwide ISP in about 6 months.
            Last night I was at a work event with a client who joined the Navy because he didn’t have money for college, went to Nuke school, did a bit of time on a sub, got picked for OCS, did 4 years in college on the Navy’s dime, then after he graduated they were doing a draw-down and they offered to let him just leave. He’s now an executive at a major publishing company.

            His peer joined the Army to pay for college, did a short 2-year tour, then was able to finish college on his own.

            None of us are RWNJs, all of us are proud to have served, and are embarrassed and saddened for those who technically report to Drumpf as CinC.

      • TootsStansbury

        These types feel joy in torturing and killing. What a fucking monster.

      • Sophia

        Why is it that when someone tells me “I don’t look down on you” I don’t believe them?

      • Red Bird

        So, he feels sorry for Donald J. Trump? Donald Trump Junior? Eric Trump? And Ivanka Trump? Tiffany Trump? Ivana and Melania Trump? Marla Maples? Robert Trump (deceased)? And Jared Kushner? What about Michael Pence? Or even Steve Mnuchin? And also too Stephen Miller? Which non-military person is he referring to that he feels sorry for?

    • Rags

      Here lies fascism

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • memzilla Ω

    The entire top half of weatherchannel(dot)com is about Puerto Rico, putting the lie to the despicable bullshittery coming from Dolt 45. Trumpanzees denounce weatherchannel “politicizing” the weather in 7… 6… 5…
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/65f0e2d362efe9998a860a11b39a91410e990b4102562688280c4ec43d9dee22.jpg

    • TootsStansbury

      The GOP is a hate group. They are committing crimes against humanity every time they so much as draw breath.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Nounverb911
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    First song I ever heard from them back in 2000

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJALBK5YD3c

  • Picabo
  • Michael R

    Who wants a healthy dose of Fascism from Dana Loesch and the NRA ?
    ( the fun gal responsible for the
    Memories Pizza / no pizza for gay weddings = $800,000 thing )

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia9cj_AWPPI

    • Subrok

      Old News, she’s been (her video has) been run through the ringer. She doesn’t care, she got paid but this is some serious “radicalization” shit.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      She’s just a nasty slut… in not a good way…

      • Subrok

        Ah come on, she knows where her bread is buttered, let’s not discount her influence because she’s a woman. She actually has quite the foll9owing.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Ammosexuals are fantasizing that They got the Inside Chamber on Her…

          • Subrok

            I mentioned that term to my Uncle “Ammosexual.” He’s not quite one but he laughed and then he showed me his extensive gun collection…

          • Beanz&Berryz

            That’s Family

    • gallbladder

      Point a water pistol at her and she’d strain shit through her thong.

    • jesterpunk

      Wasn’t she just complaining how mean people where being to her?

    • Red Bird

      Is it wrong to tell her to go back to Europe?

  • Nounverb911
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    How do you say “fuck you, asshole” in Russian?

    https://twitter.com/a35362/status/921519852845662209

    • Stulexington

      Aaaaaahahahahahahahaha.

    • Ling Ling

      Well, if Pooty-Poot says so… then I’m not doing it.

    • gallbladder

      Vlad’s just worried that his science experiment will turn on him.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      твою мать, Gangster.

      Technically “tvoyu mat” is “Fuck your Mother”, which is a greater insult.

    • Arolpin

      According to Google Translate, it’s Трахни тебя, Asshole. I guess they don’t have a direct translation for Asshole. I put in ‘Fuck you, Putin’ and got this:
      Трахни тебя, Путин, which is more than close enough.

      • Arolpin

        I just did it again with ‘Fuck you, asshole’ (no capital A) and it spit out:
        Пошел ты, мудак. I guess it figured Asshole was a name, and in this case, it’s pretty close. (Yes, I replied to myself. I talk to myself too.)

        • Sophia

          It’s always nice to talk with people you know will agree with you

          • Arolpin

            I argue with myself on occasion. At least I never resort to ad-hominem attacks.

          • Sophia

            When I am overheard talking to myself I just tell my son I’m talking to the cat. Shh, don’t tell on me

        • amrak63
    • TootsStansbury

      Oh! Well OK! Don’t pick on the dictator I had installed. Got it Vlad. You goddamn asshole.

    • Mary Theresa

      трахать тебя мудак

    • Jonny On Maui

      Respect is earned you cossack.

      • Holly

        COSSACK LIBELZ!

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I read that as “cocksack”.

        • Jonny On Maui

          That works well too.

    • Holly

      Russian is a very odd language. Fuck you sounds like a compliment while hello sounds like they’re throwing a cuss word at you. So in English – Fuck the fuck off Putin, you suck balls.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Guys, Pootie paid a lot of money for Trump. It’s not right for ya’ll to disrespect his prized possession.

    • amrak63

      Aw, poor Vladdykins is worried his investment is going sour.

      Package for Mr. Putin!

      https://i.imgur.com/Befuhli.jpg

  • TootsStansbury

    I love the photos and I love the fact that you Wonk drinky thing. I haven’t read all the non comments but the 4th photo from the top? Is it me or does it look like our Wonkettes are sporting penis hats?

    • Jonny On Maui

      Yes.

  • Nounverb911
    • OrdinaryJoe

      “Harry Potter and The Troll Beneath the White House.”

      Here you go JK Rowling.

    • Mary Theresa

      I thought zombies had better class than Bannon.

  • Jonny On Maui

    So I’m guessing that the plan to convert the Wonkabago to full sea worthy amphibious assault ship is on the back burner…

    • proudgrampa

      Or the plan to covert the Wonkabago into an “Air Force Wonkette”…

      • SisterArtemis

        That has a very nice ring to it!

  • C4TWOMAN

    I want that T-shirt with the moon, cats and unicorn…

    • Suttree

      It’s awesome!

  • SisterArtemis

    Do the Drinky, Nor-Cal, Mid-Cal, and So-Cal folks! It’s fun! It’s like wonking while being social! I had a great time last night, checking in with Trixie, Shy, Doon a Rose Who Rules Us All, and wonketariat of both the lurking and non-commenting sorts. I even got a hat, and this cool card from one of our Portland peeps. And, I have not worn a baseball cap for 3 or 4 decades (obvs from pic) AND WHEN DID THEY GO VELCRO? I remember little plastic hole punched looking things https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5b99864291cc79cf4b6dc583ef38e571980bdfa7f9a04001d17f8c2a7a0f6e72.jpg

    • Beanz&Berryz

      We got that card as a yard sign… In the yard… It’s got around from its Portland start…

      https://static01.nyt.com/newsgraphics/2017/01/21/womens-marches/assets/images/paris1-1254.jpg

      • SisterArtemis

        Yeah, the Pdx-er brought a yard sign for Rebecca, which Donna Rose proudly carried around for a bit.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          That little girl has a Good Start…

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            Just wait until she’s elected president.

          • Jonny On Maui

            By that time it’ll be “Of the Solar System.”

        • Villago Delenda Est

          She handed a bunch of those to shivaskeeper. One at a time.

          • SisterArtemis

            Hey! It was good to finally meet you! Nice to know Eugene has good wonker people around.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            For those wondering, that is an ACTUAL PICTURE of Sister Artemis, she really is that shade of blue!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Hey, girl! *wink*

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        We have a lot of these in my Tucson neighborhood. Makes one feel good about the neighbors.

      • Subrok

        This crap annoys the shit out of me. Some new neighbors (to my folks that live in Fremont area) did this shit. You’re both lawyers and you’re cowards. When I see you post this shit in Eastern Washington I might respect you but to post this sign in the of the least diverse neighborhoods…yeah.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Um, what? We have like 10 taco trucks within a 2 mile radius. We are truly blessed and you, might want to sober up.

          • Subrok

            ? I meant a new family moved into one of the safest/whitest neighborhoods and they posted that sigh like they’re some kind of revolutinary…I’m so annoyed my spelling is suffering. It’s bullshit!

            You live in a neighborhood that doesn’t go for less than 750K a house. It’s just bullshit. Nothing personally Cousin IT, you’re another treasure!

          • Arolpin

            But that’s where we need to see them. Upper middle class places NEED to shout loudly that it’s NOT OK TO BE A FUCKING NAZI, or to support nazis. I’m glad to see those in my town, and I’m also glad to see more black families moving into town. Our best friends in town joke that when they moved here 9 years ago it was basically them and the family across the street from our house, now it’s probably 7-10% of the town (including bi-racial families, and the reality is bi-racial=black to a lot of people).
            (My town has a reputation of being a bit WASPy, and more conservative than the larger bordering town, but that’s largely historical. A LOT changed after a terrible and highly publicized rape about 30 years ago here.)

          • Subrok

            Ab-so-lutely! Now, none of these people are nazis. I spent the first eighteen years of my life there and, aside from a few newcomers, most of the block is the same family. My point is that placing a sign on your lawn when you live in this place is just garbage. It’s disingenuous.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            This is not only the place to be told “You’re wrong!” it’s also the place which has those cakes we like.

          • Holly

            Gad! I do love you.

          • Subrok

            Yes Villago, I agree, burn it!

          • Subrok

            The point being it’s time to eat the upper-middle class.

          • Arolpin

            You need someone to fund reasonable politicians, and it’s not the billionaires. Until we get public funding of elections, don’t go killing off your allies.

          • Subrok

            dammit, always a simian-tool cast into the machine!

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            OK, I just tend to take these signs sincerely unless I know otherwise.

          • Subrok

            I know what you mean but when you’re two fairly wealthy people in a nice neighborhood it comes off as a bit churlish. I mean Halloween should be fun this year.

            Oh and you are a treasure!

        • Holly

          Ya might wanna tone the disdain down a notch, it’s harsh and unkind.

          • Subrok

            These are people that vote against safe-injection sites, they vote against this sort of thing, it’s NIMBY-ism at it’s worst. But go ahead and tell me my buisness.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        If I weren’t on the third floor and had more visibility I’d put that in my window. Love that.

  • Heyzeus Ahchay

    That figures. My chance to see and meet and the editrix chooses the top of a nearby mountain, in the dark, on a work night, with booze, so I’ll probably kill myself on the 2-hour coaster-ride home and never make it to work on Thursday.

    • Jonny On Maui

      You say that like it’s a bad thing…

    • Subrok

      Remember, Trix is like Patton — The Legend precedes her and then you realize everyone was lowballing it…

  • Nounverb911
    • Jonny On Maui

      Well, he’s got the brave part down…

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Get that pinky UP, Dok! Point it toward Jesus.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    OMG…that floppy-eared bunny that Donna Rose is holding. Drublic Jr. had one exactly like it when he was little…he was SO attached to it. I could write a book about his beloved bunny…snatched away by dogs, dropped out of vehicles going 60 mph, requiring a search of the roadside on hands and knees. It gave him such comfort…I was worried he was going to take it to college with him. Man, time flies.

    Turn around and he’s tiny
    Turn around and he’s four
    Turn around and he’s a young man
    Headed out of the door.

    • Arolpin

      Are you behind the Punkindrublic Punk Show in Portland(?) that my old drinking buddies have been posting on FaceTome?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I got a teddy bear on my first birthday, and named him Ted. I slept with Ted every night, and he was so worn and old, Mom had to sew him back together all the time. Ted did go to college with me. And was lost. I will never get over it. Never.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        My mom sewed Jr.’s bunny back together so many times…new ears, new eyes, new stuffing. His mother somehow managed to lose it after he went away to college. It was such a fond memento of his childhood…I’m still pissed about that.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Poor Bunny and Ted.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Spawn had that stuffed raccoon from the Pocohantas movie. Somehow it’s name got to be Raccoonee. She slept with it every night till she left for college and it was literally worn to pieces. I get onion ninjas thinking about it.
      It’s true dammit, there’s no preparation for how fast they grow up. It’s not fair.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It isn’t fair. You have to treasure every moment when they’re young.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          When they are little, it seems like forever. I distinctly remember the day I thought “I’m having an argument with a four year old- and she’s winning. Crom help me what are the next 14 years going to be like?”

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The day I took Jr. to Vancouver for college was one of the hardest days of my life. I didn’t want him to see my sadness because I was so proud of him for doing what he was supposed to do, what he was brought up to do; be his own person and make his own decisions.

          • weighmaster

            One of our proudest parent moments was shortly after Jr. rented his first house, and he showed up at our store after work with a more than half starved dog. Mr. Master told him he was taking on more responsibility than he could handle with his schedule, but Jr replied, “Look at him, dad. I couldn’t leave him.”
            Mr. Master just said, “No, son, you couldn’t.” , and hugged him before he could see the tears welling up.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That’s a great story, thanks for sharing it. You obviously raised the boy right. Drublic Jr. is a real animal lover too….he just adopted his first dog from the local Humane Society. By coincidence, one of my neighbors is a volunteer dog-walker there, and his favorite dog was the one Jr. adopted. He saw us all together, he got very emotional, so happy that his beloved Shadow had found a good home.

          • weighmaster

            Kinda tugs the old heart strings when they show you how sweet they are, doesn’t it?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            ‘Deed it does. There are so many ways kids can go off the rails these days. It’s nice when you see that they really did absorb the life lessons you tried to teach them and grew up to make good choices for themselves.

    • Arolpin

      One of my twins had a monkey that he kept with him from the day he got it until he was probably 6. It fell out of the stroller in NYC one day, and he would NOT be calmed. We searched and searched for it, and couldn’t find it. He finally fell asleep from exhaustion, and the next morning I was walking to the subway and it was sitting on a fire hydrant 20 feet from our building’s front door.
      He lost it at my sister’s wedding, my wife and I were at a drive-in movie, and my dad drove out to search our rental car to make sure it wasn’t under the seats or something. (It was found about an hour later in a stew pot the boys had been playing with while my mom cooked.)
      We eventually were able to find 2 more identical monkeys to keep as emergency monkeys, but by then he had taken to sucking on the tail, so the new monkeys didn’t smell right. He eventually wore the tail off, so my mom made a special tail for the monkey, but after a year or so he decided the monkey was happier with his natural stub of a tail, so we removed the extension.
      He’s 11 and still takes Monkey on sleepover and vacations and boy scout camp outs. The 2 backup monkeys are in his bed every night, and he named them Gerald and Gerard, and they’re almost as good as Monkey.
      His identical twin brother still has the blanket we took him home from the hospital in (after 104 days in the NICU) and he literally can’t go to bed without it. I figured that by now their friends would have shamed them into giving them up, but they’re all supportive, and will make sure that they are packed before they leave for a sleepover or whatever. I think kids are actually nicer than they used to be; maybe this anti-bullying stuff will work eventually.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Awesome. Your anecdotes sound VERY familiar…the odd coincidences that returned his bunny to him. I felt the same way…worried that be would be mocked or made fun of by his friends, but he was so unassuming and guileless in his love of his toy, they seemed to understand and never said a word. My best friend’s wife sat me down one time and announced, “don’t you think it’s about time that child gives up his bunny?” I looked back at her, stink-eye a’blazin’, and said “you’re fucking kidding me, right?”.

        • Arolpin

          It comes down to loving our kids and doing our best to keep them happy. (Even when they are lippy little shits who should remember that you have 2 ears and 1 mouth because it’s more important to listen!)

  • Reximus

    For blaque people: “What do you have to lose?” is that working any better for you than for any other of us? If so please explain how we can get in on it?

    • Red Bird

      DNA certified blaque here: No.

    • TootsStansbury

      I think the “blaque” voters who voted for President Obama in the past but who mysteriously failed to show up in 2016 were barred from voting due to I’D restrictions, etc. We will all be disenfranchised eventually.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I have a neighbor who is constantly screaming at her kids. It’s awful. One of her favorite things to scream is, “do you hear me?” You’d think someone (me) yelling back, “the whole fucking neighborhood can hear you,” would shut her up, but apparently not. Stupid bint

    • jesterpunk

      Just start yelling “What?” when she says that.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Comment of the day award

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I’ve had verbal confrontations with her in the past. She went after my kids a few times, but now she knows I won’t take that shit. I feel for those kids. One day, they’ll hate her.

        • jesterpunk

          She sounds like a great parent. /s But yeah those kids are going to have some problems when they grow up .

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            I’m probably too laid back as a parent, but I have two teenagers who I genuinely like and who want to be around me, so fuck her for telling me my kids are heathens.

          • HazooToo

            This is what I’m aiming for!

          • Persistent Tennessee Rain

            It’s not that hard. Pick your battles and give them as many chances as you can to let them make their own decisions. Ask them to choose a restaurant. Let them know they can be themselves. But most of all, even if they are being difficult, tell them you love them. Every day. I never felt more guilty as a parent then when I would be angry with them when I dropped them off at school. That’s just mean. “I love you,” is so powerful and no one, especially not a kid, should be expected to assume that’s true.

          • HazooToo

            I might be spoiling him a little, but when I say no, he accepts it. My biggest current worry is his social life. I’m very much an introvert in Meatspace, and he has two friends who are roughly his age. One has a social disorder that is not his fault, but leads to him saying and doing cruel and selfish things to others. The other has an older brother and sister who fight a lot, and it scares my kid. There are times I worry my kid is so sweet, he will ignore people outright bullying him, and that made life Hell for me, growing up. To make matters worse, two of the adult women in the neighborhood have decided to completely shun my 8 year old son, without even attempting to speak to me about any problems they might have, and they’re encouraging their kids to do it too. Sorry for the random dump of bullshit, it’s just stressy and feels better to get it out sometimes.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Heathen teenagers are the best kind. Congratulations on raising free thinkers.

        • HogeyeGrex

          One day, they’ll hate her.

          Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

    • SisterArtemis

      It’s on you to pop off on behalf of the whole neighborhood, having put it on the internetz and all. I advise you disguise your voice.

      Plan B: offer someone a nice bottle of bourbon or a pound of coffee for the deed. Surely someone will take you up on it.

      • jesterpunk

        I would do it, and I am pretty sure I dont live that far away.

      • h4rr4r

        Evan Williams black or better, none of that watered down green shit.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        She knows it’s me. I don’t care. I can’t stand that cunt since the time she made my kids cry.

  • Tiny kaiju
    • gallbladder

      Lulu!

    • Canis Greyhame

      Daaaw, who’s a good girl? She is! She is!

    • Major_Major_Major

      So many missed puns in that article. I won’t be-lab-or the issue, but I am pondering why?

    • President in Exile Firefly
  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Sarah Slanders can’t handle the truth.

      • eka

        how do you know? she’s never tried.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I like Sarah “Slanders”

    • Count Awesome

      When will this administration start selling used cars?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        1976?

  • Nounverb911
    • Subrok

      Then it’s “Admiral.”

  • Canis Greyhame

    “Childhood obesity…is a priority of the [Health Human Services] Secretary for inexplicable reasons. Whatever has been designated to it should probably be reversed. Not a priority of this administration.”
    https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2017/10/20/16505686/white-house-childhood-obesity-not-a-problem?utm_campaign=vox.social&utm_content=voxdotcom&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook

    • h4rr4r

      Inexplicable reasons?
      Diabetes not reason enough?

      • TootsStansbury

        This administration is garbage.

        • Count Awesome

          And it’s on fire too, also

    • BosGrl

      When the king is obese, obesity is de rigueur.

    • HazooToo

      Fucken knew it!

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Sure. It’s not like HHS should be concerned about a public health issue.

    • Rags

      Followed by the”save the children’s batteries” campaign mandating that schools no longer provide physical activity, but rather the kids have to sit very still for an hour a day.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And the award for Most Improved Journalist Since 2016 goes to…Lawrence O’Donnell:

    https://twitter.com/Lawrence/status/921237662198939648

    • BosGrl

      He was on fire last night.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    None of my friends were around today. I wanted to see if they noticed the Glow.:)

    Hopefully N. still wants to go shopping this weekend, I got stories to tell.

    • BosGrl

      I’ll go shopping with you!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Anytime, Hun! :)

  • Beanz&Berryz

    DR’s little relaxed foot position in her eye-boots is just killing me cute…

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Red Bird

      Jesus, these people. A few days ago I saw a truck with a bumper sticker with the confederate flag on it and the words “Fighting terrorists since 1861”. Young Americans are idiots.

      • BosGrl

        Ugh. I saw a big black pickup truck today in Wilmington, Mass., with a confederate front plate. Didn’t see the back one, but real front plates are the law in Mass., so maybe he was from somewhere else?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Probably. There are a number of states (several in the South) that don’t require a front plate, or tag, as they’re referred to down that way.

          • BosGrl

            Hm. Then he was a long way from home.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And Old Ones also too…

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I wonder how many short blue buses it took to bring these shining examples of humanity to their little nazi lovefest.

  • memzilla Ω

    Nice Time! Cash the Chow Chow mix escapes his dog walker at 7am in Brooklyn, crosses the Brooklyn Bridge eluding several attempted captures — including people stopping their cars — into Lower Manhattan, onto the FDR Drive, up to the Upper East Side, still avoiding several attempts to capture him, until…

    “At about 1:30 p.m., six and a half hours and roughly 7 miles from where he disappeared – on a direct route – Cash wandered into a deli near the corner of Eighth Ave. and 18th St., walked behind the counter and sat down.”

    DON’T TELL ME THIS TOWN AIN’T GOT NO HEART.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/86229bf0a6dc239e4d118d5565f4111cf695f6f9a40fe756978c731de4e487da.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’m guessing the answer is “no,” but the question still should be asked:

    https://twitter.com/MichaelSkolnik/status/921143413021560837

    • gallbladder

      Defending Drumpf is much easier than defending the truth, Constitution, etc…

  • President Moron Dotard (R)
  • CountryClubJihadi

    Will there be Croquet or Badminton at the park in Sacramento tomorrow? Do we have to use the park bathroom and bring our own toilet paper?

  • Jamoche

    https://twitter.com/VicenteFoxQue/status/921482664833667072
    I think he’s mixing up his WH idiots, but ¯_(ツ)_/¯

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Michael R

      More stuff for him to not think about .

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Question, for serious.

      Does Anypony think John Kelly is having some agonizing and lonely nights with his soul, or is he so far gone that he thinks it’s normal for a General of Marines to be a dishonorable, cowardly wretch?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I think he’s full far gone… He showed that on the podium… Full batshit crazy… Soulless… And no honor…

        • Anna Elizabeth

          *nods* No honor, no pride. As far as I am concerned, John Kelly is Nothing.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Hmmm… We might need to start qualifying “U.S. Marine” to say a “not John Kelly U.S. Marine.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He’s a trumpanzee to the core. He’s disposed of whatever honor he once had. He’s a disgrace to the uniform he once wore.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          We are in agreement.

      • Edith Prickly

        I HOPE he’s suffering, but since he’s still running the shitshow I think he’s drunk the Trump-Aid.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Thinking maybe he’s arrogant and has some contempt for civilians, politicians especially. While I would never want the draft to come back, this is what comes of creating a warrior class.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I agree. I grew up reading histories by Marine officer “Brute” Krulak. This is never what he wanted. Brute would be ashamed of Kelly, ashamed of what are nation has become.

          • Covfefe

            McMasters wrote a book about the importance of speaking truth to the President. https://www.amazon.com/Dereliction-of-Duty/dp/B06XJCNQM9

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I was a great admirer of McMasters. When he commanded Eagle Troop of the 2nd Armored Cavalry Regiment, they engaged the Iraqi Tawakalna Republican Guard Division at 73 Easting during Operation Desert Storm.
            Eagle and Ghost Troops together virtually annihilated the Tawakalna. For those that don’t know Cavalry, an American “Troop” is equivalent to a Company.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_73_Easting

            Now…my admiration is gone.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I don’t think he’s agonizing. I don’t think he ever had any integrity to begin with so what he did wasn’t that much of a leap for him.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I agree. What a disgrace he is.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AT36kM2A_q8

    That’s… that’s the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?

    Steve Rogers: Together.

    Tony Stark: We’ll lose.

    Steve Rogers: Then we’ll do that together, too.

  • President Moron Dotard (R)
    • Nounverb911

      I’m sure she received a healthy honorarium for this meeting.

    • Red Bird

      I’m sorry the dogs and cats from the shelters have to be involved in this.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Isn’t she a paid campaign staff member?

    • Canis Greyhame

      So any member of the Trump family can just swing by the White House and sit at the head of the table whenever they want?

    • Covfefe

      There was a time when we called such things “dog & pony shows.”

    • therblig

      Assaroma doesn’t look too happy.

  • Nounverb911
    • HazooToo

      *violent noises*

    • Sophia

      Is he supposed to be endorsing books? Not sure on the protocol there

      • Bobathonic

        It’s merely unethical.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Distasteful is well below his threshold of awareness.

        • Sophia

          Pretty much anything he does is unethical.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        No, but when you broke the oath of office by taking it, the sky is the limit.

    • gallbladder

      Jeffress and Sessions are each other’s love child.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Jeffress? Oh, scumbag! Get that money-changer out of the temple!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Like he’s ever read a fucking book that wasn’t about him.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Like he’s ever read a fucking book FIFY.

  • Picabo

    Today in history, 1973. “After 15 years of construction, the Sydney Opera House is dedicated by Queen Elizabeth II. The $80 million structure, designed by Danish architect Jørn Utzon and funded by the profits of the Opera House Lotteries, was built on Bennelong Point, in Sydney, Australia. Famous for its geometric roof shells, the structure contains several large auditoriums and presents an average of 3,000 events a year to an estimated two million people. The first performance in the complex was the Australian Opera’s production of Sergei Prokofiev’s War and Peace, which was held in the 1,547-seat Opera Theatre. Today, the Opera House remains Sydney’s best-known landmark.
    http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/sydney-opera-house-opens

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/19e9cf65d5012e96198e7382a54dbf14fe43aa11735ac9949a9afd7c402e5aad.jpg

    • Beanz&Berryz

      3,000 events a year sounds like alot…

      • BosGrl

        Maybe it has different spaces? My daughter has this weird, unreasonable hatred for it. Whenever she sees it, she says, “I HATE the Sydney Opera House!”

        • Beanz&Berryz

          She’ll come around… hopefully… how old is she?

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I actually kind of hate it, too.

          • BosGrl

            I’ll tell her she has an ally :D

    • Villago Delenda Est

      It is an absolutely magnificent structure. It’s a Wonder of the World in Civ VI.

    • CripesAmighty

      This is what a civilized country looks like. Take a good look.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Roni Raven

      Malignant narcissists aren’t capable of remorse.

      • Canis Greyhame

        You must have read my mind!

        • Roni Raven

          GMTA.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      If only there had been some way to know BEFORE the election that Trump enjoys hurting people, and never feels the least bit bad about it.

    • gallbladder

      This is fucking scary. He has to go…I don’t care how (see how that works, Donnie?)

    • Count Awesome

      I hope he gets tired of “winning” real soon.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      That’s how one gets “sick of winning.”

      Some saggy discolored nutsack constantly declaring “I’m the winner!” even as he is currently shitting all the beds.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        It’s the kind of thing 2 year olds do when they turn over the game board.

    • Michael R

      At least it overshadowed Puerto Rico

      • Canis Greyhame

        A sickening reminder that seven years ago we had thousands of people in Puerto Rico without access to potable water, and untold deaths mounting up from being stuck in the fetid aftermath of a botched recovery effort. … what’s that? It’s only been like, three days? … shit.

      • Suse

        But, but… the US response was a 10!

    • Suse

      He has no conscience. Not even a teeny tiny scintilla of one.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Winning is all that matters. Hurting people does not compute with him. It’s like another language

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Won? I didn’t realize it was a contest.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    “Do you think you’ll be raking your leaves this afternoon?”
    Fuck you, you malignant harpy. The goddamned wind is supposed to blow 40 miles per hour tonight. Those of us who aren’t retired, alcoholic busybodies have other priorities.

    I really liked my old neighbors.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      I hate raking leaves. Damn thing is, none of the leaves are mine–I have no trees on the front lawn.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        When there’s not too many, you can use the lawn mower to kind of vacuum them up.

        • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

          Or chop ’em up into mulch, anyway. I guess I’m just lazy.

          • Catstro

            Nah, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do. It’s best to leave the leaves on your lawn and occasionally mulch them with a mower. Science says so.

        • President in Exile Firefly

          I don’t have a lawn mower either–no lawn–all berry bushes and a small apple tree. OK, so some of the leaves are mine, I suppose…

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Let ’em ask every fucking day and just walk away. Let the leaves blow into their yard until they start minding their own business. Fuck ’em. I hate busy body neighbors who feel it is their place to tell you how to tend to your yard.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        It’d be different if my lawn looked like shit. I live on a street where some fucking maniac planted sycamores every 40 feet about 70 years ago. Everyone has leaves in their lawn.

        • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

          I had this old fuckin’ neighbor who would stand by the edge of my lawn with his fuckin’ rake in hand watching to make sure none of my clippings went on his lawn. The thing is, his yard looked like shit and mine was always nice and green with little or no effort.

          The old fuck had a Scrote Wanker sign in his yard and likely voted for his royal anus.

    • Sophia

      If the wind blows 40 miles per hour tonight that should take care of the leaves. If it causes someone’s leaves to blow on your lawn call them and tell them to come pick the damn things up!

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Joy Reid in for Chris Hayes. She is delivering a royal smackdown on Kelly..

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I heard a royal smackdown by a journalist today who basically said this administration needs to stop blaming the media for doing their jobs and reporting the truth. The media isn’t perpetuating this thing with the congresswoman and the Johnson family. It’s the lies coming from the White House that’s causing the problem.

      • DrBigHead

        They are not going to stop because that is what their base wants to hear, and they know that if they lose the base, they are more than fucked.

    • CripesAmighty

      BOOM! What a dignified, eloquent address. (Joy just played Rep. Wilson’s remarks in their entirety).

      • cmd resistor

        Yes it was lovely all around

    • Subrok

      Joy Reid is a treasure, like you!

      • Suse

        Meanwhile Megyn Kelly is going down in flames. Thanks, NBC.

        • Subrok

          Stop, all this good news is forcing me to smile again!

          • Suse

            No PR people are willing to book celebs on her show, so other “Today” show hosts have to visit her set and do silly things to make MK seem human.

    • cmd resistor

      Good.

  • The Wanderer

    Heavens! Princeton leading Harvard 10-0 after the first quarter.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JIpBsWmzQg

    • RobespierreHoo

      Damn it! I have 10 GRRR on that game!

  • yyyaz

    In more of The Whole Fucking World Has Gone Insane news: The World Health Organization (WHO) has appointed President Robert
    Mugabe of Zimbabwe as a “goodwill ambassador” to help tackle
    non-communicable diseases.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Tell me you are fucking kidding me.

      • yyyaz
        • data_ninja

          Holy shit, they went full Trump admin.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Scary. One knows you never go full trümp.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          *nods*

        • aktlib101

          Heh, from that article:
          “Controversial decision
          Imogen Foulkes, BBC News, Geneva

          The appointment of 93-year-old Robert Mugabe will cause astonishment among many WHO member states and donors.

          A goodwill ambassador may be a largely symbolic role, but the symbolism of giving it to a man whose leadership of Zimbabwe has, critics say, coincided with a collapse of its health service, and major human rights abuses, will be very unpopular.”

          • yyyaz

            And yet, here we are.

    • Suse

      NO!11!!!

    • NorthernSaber

      Fuck me- for the sake of brevity/sanity I’ll just assume that Satan and Dick Cheney were both already booked…

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Saaaaay, you know who else asked “highly inappropriate” questions?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Tobias Fumke?

    • Suse

      Lucy Ricardo?

    • weighmaster

      Little Johnnie?

    • Bobathonic

      Dr Ruth?

    • yyyaz

      Galileo?

    • Subrok

      Theodor Morell?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Me?

      By the way, what’s your social security number?

      • Arolpin

        000-00-0001. I’m an old.

    • Suttree

      My father when I was a teenager? He didn’t like my answers. what old man? You asked! Did you thing I was going to lie to you?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Who’s drankin’?

    • Subrok

      Yes, we’re here jawing while Trix and them family are meeting/toasting their public!

    • TJ Barke

      I got high earlier. Decided to take apart my motorcycle. It’s going better than I feared.

      • DirtyHippyLiberal

        Uh…why? Not the getting high part; that I get. But..you’re taking apart your motorcycle?!

        • TJ Barke

          It needs work anyway.

          • DirtyHippyLiberal

            LOL! Good luck!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hope it’s still a two-wheeled vehicle when you put it back together.

        • TJ Barke

          So far I’ve just got the fairings, gas tank and headlight off. Need to get to the carb.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Lots of pesky little parts there.

          • TJ Barke

            Not putting the fairings back on, saw a you tube vid on how to convert it into a naked bike, gonna put it back together than way.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Good for you!

      • therblig

        MCCOY: Of course. Of course. A child could do it. A child could do it.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c96fb2c243f7084f180237e39d14caf05d05145160abae4dfbd3d1c151e7ec67.jpg

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I love you, man

    • NorthernSaber

      Gigging this weekend? All quiet here in the northern front, that’s for sure.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Got shows on Sunday and Monday.

        • NorthernSaber

          Hoo-Yah! Nice scene you cats have out there in the desert. Was telling my drummer the other day how much I miss gigging with him, but how little I miss trying to book jazz in Bangor, Maine. Have a great couple of gigs!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Thanks. Yeah, I do all the booking, which is a gigantic pain in the ass. But I’ve found that if you don’t stay on it, you are forgotten in short order, and then it’s like inventing the wheel again to get back in the rotation. Clubs close, change ownership, stop paying…you’ve been there. I’ve got a couple of venues with good bookers that will basically just send me some open dates when I ask, and we can pick one that works.

          • NorthernSaber

            That’s about as good as it gets these days. You’re right- the merry-go-round of bookers felt like I was always pushing a load uphill, and by the time I hung it up I was well on my to hating jazz itself, to say nothing of gigging. Glad to hear about cats making a go of it. If I ever get out west I want to hear you play. Have a great weekend!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Thanks, and you. You’re always welcome here, my friend. I’m not a great player, but we’ve got a pretty happening little band with some really great players as regular/semi-permanent guests sitting in.

    • yyyaz

      Shiner Bock and Beam Black here.

    • Suttree
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Hi kitty kitty!

        • Suttree

          Meow meow meow meow

  • jesterpunk

    When will there be a drinky thing on the east coast? Amish country in PA is really nice this time of the year.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      I think it should be in Maryland. Say………Hagerstown.

      • jesterpunk

        That is about 2 hours away though.

        • Jeffocaster in the West

          Well, I dunno……I am in New Mexico…lol….

    • Suttree

      They almost went from Boston to D.C. 2 years ago. They were going to skip NYC! Good luck with PA brother. In their defense they had just recently gotten the Wonkabago and weren’t quite as experienced as they are now.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      I’ll drive as far up Florida as Orlando….

  • Suse

    Leaked White House Memo Outlines Plans For All-Out War On Women’s Health
    The memo reads like a wish-list straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale.
    https://medium.com/@RVAwonk/leaked-white-house-memo-outlines-plans-for-all-out-war-on-womens-health-531cc14f2623

    • yyyaz

      “Cut women’s health programs by at least 50%” and preach the rhythm method. … I no longer recognize this country.

    • Covfefe
    • Suttree

      And the god-botherers love this shit. Their sweet little girl won’t be the one to get knocked up or get an STD. They go to church every Sunday! Wait whut? They are giving their daughters birth control and they just don’t want those people to have the information or ability to stay child free.

      • Suse

        Grrr… as a former family planning clinic counselor, this just boils my butt.

    • BosGrl

      They don’t like poor people. They don’t like abortion. They don’t like welfare or food stamps. They don’t like birth control. I guess the poor should just go die. I don’t know what else they want from us.

    • Canis Greyhame

      The only ideology at work in the White House (aside from aggrandize Trump) is the Mike Pence ideology.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Nounverb911
    • Canis Greyhame

      Come one CNN graphics department, you can totally write “false claims” on the chyron. In this case, it’s perfectly acceptable.

      There are tapes, oh Lordy, there are TAPES.

      • CripesAmighty

        And Joy Reid just played em. Roast, motherfuckers.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
    • Nounverb911

      Let me know when it’s on pay-per-view….

  • HazooToo
  • Suse

    Sarah Fuckabee Slanders: Please get swallowed up by a sinkhole. Thank you.

  • Subrok

    while we’re all posting vids here’s one at least SOME people might enjoy —
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YX_kez_xwJs

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Secretary Mattis? Gen. McMaster? Would it be inappropriate for me to ask what happened to “I will not lie, steal or cheat, nor tolerate among us anyone who does”?

  • Reximus

    Gord Downey show on CTV right now…cry

  • Nounverb911
    • Subrok

      Jeepers H. Crackers

    • Beanz&Berryz

      God Bless America…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Putin agrees…

    • Alternative Dog

      Andy Borowitz is a national treasure.

      • yyyaz

        He gives me a reason to live and if I were 40 years younger and female I would have all his babbies.

    • Serai 1

      Who wants to bet that is EXACTLY what they’ll say?

    • Canis Greyhame

      He didn’t even have to exaggerate to Onionize that headline.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • janecita
    • Suse

      Lovely!

    • Parakeetist

      Squee

    • Subrok
      • janecita

        Adorable!

    • yyyaz

      Another reason why I love canis lupus familiaris WAYYYY more than homo sapiens.

      • janecita

        They are way better than humans.

  • aktlib101

    Another “don’t feel too good” Friday story:
    Insectageddon: farming is more catastrophic than climate breakdown
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/oct/20/insectageddon-farming-catastrophe-climate-breakdown-insect-populations

    “Which of these would you name as the world’s most pressing environmental issue? Climate breakdown, air pollution, water loss, plastic waste or urban expansion? My answer is none of the above. Almost incredibly, I believe that climate breakdown takes third place, behind two issues that receive only a fraction of the attention.”

    “One is industrial fishing, which, all over the blue planet, is now causing systemic ecological collapse. The other is the erasure of non-human life from the land by farming.

    And perhaps not only non-human life. According to the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation, at current rates of soil loss, driven largely by poor farming practice, we have just 60 years of harvests left. And this is before the Global Land Outlook report, published in September, found that productivity is already declining on 20% of the world’s cropland.”

    “The impact on wildlife of changes in farming practice (and the expansion of the farmed area) is so rapid and severe that it is hard to get your head round the scale of what is happening. A study published this week in the journal Plos One reveals that flying insects surveyed on nature reserves in Germany have declined by 76% in 27 years. The most likely cause of this Insectageddon is that the land surrounding those reserves has become hostile to them: the volume of pesticides and the destruction of habitat have turned farmland into a wildlife desert.”

    “It is remarkable that we need to rely on a study in Germany to see what is likely to have been happening worldwide: long-term surveys of this kind simply do not exist elsewhere. This failure reflects distorted priorities in the funding of science. There is no end of grants for research on how to kill insects, but hardly any money for discovering what the impacts of this killing might be. Instead, the work has been left – as in the German case – to recordings by amateur naturalists.”

    “Insects, of course, are critical to the survival of the rest of the living world. Knowing what we now know, there is nothing surprising about the calamitous decline of insect-eating birds. Those flying insects – not just bees and hoverflies but species of many different families – are the pollinators without which a vast tract of the plant kingdom, both wild and cultivated, cannot survive. The wonders of the living planet are vanishing before our eyes.”

    “Well, I hear you say, we have to feed the world. Yes, but not this way. As a UN report published in March explained, the notion that pesticide use is essential for feeding a growing population is a myth. A recent study in Nature Plants reveals that most farms would increase production if they cut their use of pesticides. A study in the journal Arthropod-Plant Interactions shows that the more neonicotinoid pesticides were used to treat rapeseed crops, the more their yield declines. Why? Because the pesticides harm or kill the pollinators on which the crop depends.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Damn…

    • Serai 1

      there is nothing surprising about the calamitous decline of insect-eating birds.

      I wish he’d tell that to the horde of moronic activists who blame it on CATS.

      • yyyaz

        Ermm, the googol is no help on CATS. *CATS acronym science*

    • yyyaz

      I received my first lesson on the biological armageddon we are now in the midst of in 1970, and have been railing about it to one degree or another ever since. Now I feel like all I accomplished by this behavior is too make more people sadder.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • GreenGoldSharpie

    You probably should be watching this chick all the time, but her little song here in defense of queer culture and degeneracy is pretty fucking funny. ;-)

    https://youtu.be/9BlNGZunYM8?t=826

    • Anna Elizabeth

      She is AWE-sum!

    • HazooToo

      Yes!

  • Reximus
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This reminds me, I wanted to see the end of this:

    https://twitter.com/jaketapper/status/921465592950947841

  • Nounverb911

    I should save this for Dominic on Monday morning….
    https://twitter.com/Salukis2/status/921449837295386624

    • HazooToo

      Someone had a ruff nite…

      Ok I’m going…

  • Cock Blockula

    Cock Blockula will BE THERE!

  • Serai 1

    This is the organization that’s trying to poach members from the GSA:

    Cub Scout Ousted From Den After Asking Politician Tough Questions

    Seems forthrightness, honesty, and honor aren’t welcome in the Boy Scouts.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Suse

      He would require some serious brining.

    • HazooToo

      Fake News! Zombies don’t eat each other.

  • Subrok

    Here’s a fun one — Who got a flu shot? I have two tattoos (both for absent friends) yet I’m practically phobic of the needle.

    Thanky ou nameless doctor that jammed a needle longer than my little finger into my knee while my Father held me and told me not to look some Thirty years ago.

    The lovely lady that injected just laughed when I told her I’m a colossal weenie when it comes to needles, despite the irony.

    Anyway, they gave me a fact sheet which was basically “hey dumbass, this is why you and your entire family aren’t dying from the pox!”

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I am contraindicated for the flu vaccine, so I really should not get one.

      • HazooToo

        If you get the flu this year and need help with meds, let us know, maybe one or more of us can help chip in.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          I’ll take my chances with the flu. I am one of about 3200 adults who run a risk way worse than the flu if I get vaccinated.

          • HazooToo

            I meant the prescription pills for after you get the flu. Tamiflu ran me $150 per adult in my household during one season.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I got mine on Wednesday morning. I didn’t even bleed because I’m a tough mother fucker.

    • Suse

      I get one every year. Got my first pneumonia shot last year.

      • Subrok

        The last time they maimed me but that was like 1998.

    • Me not sure

      So…let me tell you about my hemorrhoid surgery.

      • Bobathonic

        TURP

        • Me not sure

          Sorry. I had a Jewish mother moment.

    • HazooToo

      Got mine the other week and then bitched while the virus tore me down for 8 hours. The lady I got mine from was SUPER GOOD AT IT, I seriously didn’t even feel it until I got home and it started getting sore.

    • bobbert

      I got one a few days ago. Usually do. Couldn’t last year because of the chemo.

      I’ve always been lucky. I’ve never had any kind of reaction to the shot.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    A young Somali woman’s car broke down in front of my shop this morning. I was able to help her out and get her back on her way. Kinda nice to have an encounter with someone who I don’t worry will come back later that night and rob the joint, for once.

    • Suse

      Did you ask to see her “papers”? A true patriot would have called ICE to report this incident.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        She was wearing a hijab. I called Arpaio and our local border militia to report her.

        • Suse

          Oh, good. Can’t be too careful.

        • HazooToo

          I saw a thing the other day on Twitter. A Muslim woman saying that there is an appropriate way for a man to greet a woman in a hijab, which is one hand over his heart and the other offering to shake her hand. I have no fucking idea how true or common this is, because Muslims are not a monolithic people, but it was interesting to see!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            If that is true, I broke all the rules. She seemed a little anxious…broken down in a hard part of town of a pretty dirty, skeevy looking large man offering “help”. But she was calm, and appreciative of the assistance. Didn’t threaten to behead me or anything.

          • HazooToo

            I don’t think she’ll hold it against you. <3 But it made it clear how little I know about actual traditions & manners in the Muslim faith, and that feels strange. These people are everywhere. We should know more actual real things about them, not just which things are hateful lies.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Well, as you said, they aren’t one thing. It’s hard to get to know the folks in the Somali immigrant community here. A little insular-and understandably so-very different culturally, and parked in the shittiest part of town. If they look around at their neighbors, they can’t be too impressed with white people.

          • HazooToo

            My community is more white than I ever realized. I wouldn’t be impressed, either.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I know that there are Muslim women who believe this, but I personally think it’s bullshit. Fine, yeah, if you live in the Middle East or somewhere where men and women don’t typically shake hands. If you live in a country where shaking hands as a greeting is customary, you fucking get used to it. Not everyone is obliged to try to keep a woman happy just because her Sky God says that shaking hands with a man will nullify her ablutions.

          • HazooToo

            It’s not so bad, as far as customs go. She can shake his hand if she wants. Women greeting women, she said, have no specific rules, just come get your hug or whatever. Anyway, it doesn’t seem like a thing most Muslim women in the US have insisted upon, because we don’t know about it, so I guess they did get used to it.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Oh, of course. I mean, I used to be a practicing Muslim, so I have heard a lot of convos on this topic.

          • HazooToo

            That I also did not know! Do you have any additional tidbits of info?

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            On greetings? I am not terribly knowledgeable. Muslim women have this series of kisses that they give each other in either cheek when they greet (again, Arabs), and I could never get the order right, so I’d end up bobbing my head around like a demented chicken in hijab.

          • HazooToo

            On any kind of Muslim customs, really. I could never get the hang of kisses as a greeting, lol

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            Ah, well those vary according to country, so I’m not sure I know enough to comment. The cool thing about Islam (before Saudi Arabia started funding their Wahabist bullshit and ruining everything for everyone) is that it really did adapt to absorb local customs in every country. Sufi sects spread the religion, so you’ll find these very spiritual cultures that see their faith in ways that is very much painted by their ongoing culture (like in Georgia/Azerbaijan, drinking vodka or other local spirits was not frowned upon, and there are women’s groups that perform zikhr/dhikr, a Sufi chanting tradition). In Bangladesh, Muslims still wear saris. In China, there are women’s mosques with female Islamic scholars who operate more or less independently of their male counterparts.

    • janecita

      You are a good man, Charlie Brown :-)

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Thx. There are a lot of Somali immigrants in the neighborhood. Somalis and tweakers. the Somalis tend to be desperately poor, but good, honest neighbors.

    • TJ Barke

      Watch out! She’ll come back and Sharia you!

    • jesterpunk

      Great now you are going to be following Shakira law. It was nice of you to help her though.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Can I keep my bullets dipped in pig’s blood, just in case?

        • jesterpunk

          No but you can wrap hot dogs in bacon.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Sonoran dogs rule!

      • I would love to be ruled by Shakira law for just one night.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          People pay good money for that.

          • My partner es Colombiana, I admit to being a bit redundant.

        • janecita

          Her hips don’t lie.

      • bobbert

        I for one would welcome our new Shakira overlady.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • jesterpunk

      Umm pants are not allowed.

    • Subrok

      “Do you mind?”

    • Doug Langley

      So how was work?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        Pretty low key! It’s a friday and they spent the last bit of hte afternoon decorating for halloween.

        We’re going to have in office trick or treating! People can bring their kids, their grand kids, or ANY kids by. They’ll go from cubicle and office to cubicle and office and trick or treat.

        Had an interesting time with one of hte lawyers. She said something and I offhandedly mentioned, “That’s why I’m not a lawyer!” She said, “Not yet!”

        That was nice.

        Also, in an improputu meeting with the same attorney and boss lady, the attorney started asking me about school. The boss lady said, “And when he graduates he’s going to apply to work with us.” I said, “I’m going to do that before I graduate! But we have to advertise for the job and there’s a lot of experience in [town].” Attorney said, “Well, it’s good to know people.” Boss lady said, “It’s really good to know people. Trust me.”

        So maybe?

        anyway, what about you? A mercifully calm day? Any new news from recruiters?

        • Doug Langley

          I posted down below. Basically, mostly calm day. Exception was when I walked towards some shelves to see if I could find a lost post-it note, boss saw me, and “What’s wrong??” What an eagle eye. If I do ANYTHING out of the ordinary, she demands an explanation. So creepy. That’s why I try to find excuses to work in the next room away from her.

          Recruiters: crickets. Had a couple of new recruiters email me this week with jobs they think I’d be good at. I said go for it. Most likely I’ll just go on unemployment benefits when job ends next week if they can’t get anything.

          One more week. ONE. MORE. WEEK!!!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            stay strong brother! We can DO THIS!

  • Woohoo! Go Richard Painter!

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      He rocks. Dude has a great sense of humor as well.

      • Honestly, never thought i could like someone from W’s administration

        • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

          I saw him on Bill Maher and he was hilarious.

    • He’s painting a picture of a sick president.

      Btw, Joy Anne Reid looks great with her glasses.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        I love Joy Reid. She cracks me up when she ridicules the orange turd.

      • Suse

        She’s someone I would enjoy hanging out with. She’s so smart and and has a great sense of humor. I also like her specs.

        • BosGrl

          And she’s a Star Trek fan. She’s the whole damned package.

  • Jennifer R
    • HazooToo

      That is about the only cock I want in my mouth, anymore.

    • Aggle Wok

      I want a penis waffle!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • ltmcdies

      oh god…is it tweeting again.

    • yyyaz

      Where is it written that being an ambulatory drool-bucket is qualification enough to hold the planet hostage?

  • janecita
    • yyyaz

      I’d still shank his ass as soon as the money changed hands.

  • janecita
    • HazooToo

      Seriously not surprised he looks amazing.

    • yyyaz

      Barry OOOhhhhhh!

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Sexxxxy.

  • Thiazin Red

    The guy telling the story in this clip looks exactly like my little brother. Its so weird.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_-HIxXRfOY

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Cute. I was hoping your little brother looked like James McAvoy, however.

      • Thiazin Red

        I need to find out his name so I can send a picture to Mom.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Jack Whitehall. :)

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Graham Norton is my favorite talk show host ever.

      • Thiazin Red

        I guess if you get the celebrities all liquored up first it helps.

        • Rags

          For decades the BBC BBC provided champagne for all radio guests. Brilliant.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Works for me.

  • janecita
  • memzilla Ω

    So after saving up for *mumpty-mumpf* weeks, saw the optician today and my new eyeglasses should be here in ten days or so. Seven hundred and thirty fucking dollars. SEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTY MOTHER FUCKING DOLLARS. And no, these aren’t Fendi or Gucci or Oakley frames. The lenses alone are FIVE FUCKING HUNDRED AND SEVENTY NINE DOLLARS. Now granted, the options I chose — progressive, compressed, blue-tint, refraction-adjusted — are the optical equivalent of buying a car with undercoating (“They put that on at the factory, there’s nothing we can do about it” — Fargo) — but still. SEVEN HUNDRED AND THIRTY MOTHER FUCKING DOLLARS.

    Now for the best part. I bought vision insurance first (ProTip: before you buy ANY insurance, ask your mechanic, your doctor, your optician, your dentist, your general contractor one question: “Which company pays you the quickest with the least amount of disputed charges?” You will ALWAYS get an honest answer). Annualized, it comes out to an additional $220 a year, which I’ll probably cancel after the year is up.

    So now the total cost for these glasses is NINE. FUCKING. HUNDRED AND. FIFTY. DAMN. DOLLARS.

    Guess what these glasses would have cost WITHOUT vision insurance?

    Nope, guess again.

    Nope, still too low.

    And the answer is…

    … ONE. THOUSAND. SIX. HUNDRED. AND EIGHT. HOLY NEAR SIGHTED PRESBYOTIC CHRIST ALMIGHTY DOLLARS.

    I don’t even want to think about how many people in this country are too poor to afford even single-field corrective glasses, and how shitty their quality of life is because of that. Even after I get my new glasses, I’ll still be so angry that I can’t see straight.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      ye fucking gods.

    • amrak63

      The Amurkan health care system: “Your money or your life!”

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        Best healthcare system in the world!

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      That’s just plain fucking wrong.

    • Suse

      Opticianism is a scam.

    • BosGrl

      When I was transcribing those survey answers for the Medicaid insurance company, the two things people begged for was vision and dental. This particular company gave them a $50/year benefit, which was barely enough to cover an exam and not at all the glasses.

    • Sophia

      Holy shit! The last pair I got were $630 and I thought that was too high.

    • BosGrl

      I hope these glasses are magic and give you bionic vision.

    • Teecha

      Fuck. My dad bought varifocals last week and was arsey about paying £430.

      I paid £80 and got a pair of sunnies for £45 in the buy one get one half price deal. I have an easy prescription, and I never ever have any coatings.

      • BosGrl

        My last pair were around the same price. I’ve got an easy one, too, but I’m cheap anyway :).

    • yyyaz

      Which is why my 5-year-old, bent and damaged ones are treated like a Stradivarius without a vault and an insurance policy.

    • HazooToo

      I feel your pain. My glasses were $715 and my kid’s were $450

    • Serai 1

      Holy shit. I get complex lenses too – impact-resistant ultralight polymer, UV coating, anti-glare, color-balancing, along with very different prescriptions for each eye – but I don’t think I’ve ever paid more than $200. Where the fuck are you buying these things??

    • CripesAmighty

      Hate to tell ya this, guys, but if your prescription is fairly straightforward, you can get em here for around 30 bucks (Chinese co) using their online tools to enter your Rx. They’re not bad–really. http://www.zennioptical.com

    • Suttree

      Jeez! I have worked with guys that had no insurance and didn’t even entertain the idea of proper glasses. They were structural welders. They just used cheater lenses in their shields. Basically the equivalent of reading glasses that you buy at CVS.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Damn, Sam, those are some ‘spensive peeps. Is it a crazy wicked Rx or something?

      • memzilla Ω

        Extreme astigmatism and ridiculous myopia, llike 20/800.

  • Juan de Fuca

    Good job by CBS reporter Chip Reed for correcting Sarah Huckabee Sanders today and reminding her that John Kelly lied his ass off, that video of the speech by Rep Wilson showed she never took credit for the building and that most of her speech was praising FBI agents. But Chip missed a golden opportunity after Sarah replied to him with “Well, she also made quite a few other comments that day that weren’t part of that speech and weren’t part of that video that were also witnessed by many people there,”.

    What he should’ve said was “Were they the same people the President saw celebrating 9/11 in New Jersey?”

    • Canis Greyhame

      That’s her signature move: yank the goalposts over to a different spot when caught in a lie.

      • Juan de Fuca

        And do what the boss does when called on something – just make up some bullshit and run with it, knowing that 25% of the population (his base) is probably going to believe it.

        • Suttree

          They must have a boot camp for this shit. And I have met some liars in my life!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “Many people said.” Works for me. Now where’s that bag our sour cream and onion paint chips?

    • Suse

      She’s a good Christian gal.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        She lies for Christ

        • Suttree

          Sounds like that thing that they are always accusing Muslims of.

        • yyyaz

          Spreads for him too, or so I’ve heard.

          • therblig

            no wonder it takes him 3 days to rise

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          Lying makes the Baby Jesus cry.

    • Suttree
    • SayItWithWookies

      What?! I don’t know why I’m incredulous, because I just saw a retired four-star general pretend to be indignant over someone calling out Assmouth for consoling a grieving widow with a blasé throwaway line, but wow — that is so high school. “Well maybe Cindy didn’t say the thing Billy says she said, but she definitely said some other stuff nobody heard that was at least as bad.”

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I didn’t see the vid, I just read some quotes in WaPo, but I especially loved the part where Huckersleaze was like, “well, if you want to debate a 4 star general something something inappropriate something”, and the reporter said, “yeah, if you could get him back here for that, that would be great.” Heh.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • BosGrl

      Jesus.

    • Rags

      Wait – nobody’s on the ground getting the shit kicked out of them by the cops! Oh. Never mind.

  • btwbfdimho
    • Suttree

      I would love to see Turnip’s head explode after an attempt at self-deprecating humor.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I would love to see Turnip’s head explode.

        • Shanzgood

          From natural vote causes, of course.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        As you may know and to whom I was married, people with NPD simply cannot go there–even you explain it to them.

        Without time and therapy.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Dance when there’s nothing but a slow-flowing dream.” Mark Twain

  • Suse

    Bahaha! Drumpf’s fake Renoir! This alone shows how completely nuts he is.

    • It would be different if it were a lesser know work, it COULD be real, but dear lord is he stupid

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I would *love* to learn how much Dampnut paid for it. :D

    • Suttree

      I’d like to see how much he has it insured for. I’m betting either nothing or $100m.

    • Claire

      My new hero is the person who sold it to him at real-Renoir prices. I am not even mad, boo. Get that stupid-people money.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I’m not exactly the reincarnation of Paul Durand-Ruel but I know enough to steer clear of a Renoir that they try to sell you on a cruise ship.

  • jesterpunk

    I think the Trump administration might be sued by “Whose line is it anyway” for stealing their slogan.

    https://imgur.com/fAO8zCd

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I don’t understand those dipshits either, Kurt:

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/921532281617035265

    • TJ Barke

      “We just wanted that uppity N****r’s name off it!”

      • Suse

        That’s it in a nutshell and it applies to everything Drumpf is trying to do.

    • Thiazin Red

      They thought he was going to take it away from those other people who don’t deserve it.

      • yyyaz

        Not to be an asshole, but “[t]hey thought” assumes facts not in evidence.

    • HazooToo

      FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

    • jesterpunk
    • jesterpunk

      “I support the president because I think Obamacare is imploding and it not only impacts those on Obamacare, but everybody,” said Roger Heuring, 58, who lives in New Jersey. Heuring is on an employer plan but said his sister in Ohio buys insurance on the Obamacare market.

      “Forget the president – it’s the Congress’s responsibility. They’re the ones that passed this mess to begin with,” Heuring said.

      So since Trump broke it its congresses fault now?

      • therblig

        embarrassed that a fuckhead like that lives in my state. small comfort that he’ll be suffering the next 8 years under a democrat governor.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Today there was an article on WaPo about how some Trump voters who got relief after Harvey aren’t sure Puerto Rico should get the same. These are the type of low life turds we’re dealing with.

      • My own opinion, particularly after their bullshit on Sandy, has been “fuck you and show me that self-reliance you’re always talking about when you get hit.”

      • SayItWithWookies

        Well you know, Texas is a go-it-alone, tough, hardy independent people state — so they’re entitled to billions in federal relief. Puerto Rico, on the other hand, is just an island in the middle of the Atlantic that’s constantly penalized by American laws and whose citizens are allowed no say in the democracy of their country — so haven’t we done enough for them?

        • yyyaz

          Raise their tribute to the treasury to see how much they truly love us.

        • Three Finger Salute

          ocean, many many people don’t know about ocean

          • Mehmeisterjr

            There is water in oceans. Bigly water. Few people know this. Nobody knows this.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Did you wash your hands after touching the Babe’s balls?

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Would you?

        And before you ask, yes. Yes I would.

  • Subrok

    I don’t remember Mamie Eisenhower doing this kind of thing!!1
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq-URl9F17Y

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    A top executive at Vox Media was fired late Thursday following a public allegation of sexual misconduct.

    This is something truly, that all sides do. Monsters, all.

    http://money.cnn.com/2017/10/20/media/vox-media-fires-editorial-director-lockhart-steele/index.html

  • Sophia
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Psychotically?

      Come to think of it, if that’s not a word, perhaps it should be for the age of Donald the Terrible…

      • Sophia

        He invented it

    • CripesAmighty

      What? Fucking moron.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Potluck, you say? What should we bring?

    • Subrok

      Chips and beer! Failing that, canned clams.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        wait, what? linguine at a picnic would be MONSTROUS!

    • Arolpin

      Pot is always good luck at a potluck.

  • Darkrose

    So should I bring food tomorrow? How much? I’m so nervous!

    • Subrok

      can’t go wrong with beer and chips!

    • Suse

      You going to Sacramento? I’m not sure I can make it.

      • Darkrose

        East Portal Park is a 10 minute drive from my house. Assuming I can deal with the Outside World I’ll be there.

        • Suse

          It’s about 1.5 hrs for me.

          • bobbert

            2 and a half for me. See you there.

  • Serai 1

    Just listened to Jack Whitehall and Jeff Goldblum do a gorgeous rendition of Mona Lisa. Mmmm.

  • Jennifer R

    (the guy in blue gets rejected by the guy dressed as hitlerfox so guy dressed as hitlerfox can fuck a dog he bought to try to lure a 16 year old across state lines is the pertinent back story)
    https://twitter.com/MagnusRenford/status/920722540301029376

    • Subrok

      You gotta stop watching those cartoons…

    • Sophia

      You got a diagram? I’m having a hard time following that.

      • Jennifer R

        blue wolf and hitlerfox are married. Hitlerfox likes to fuck kids. Hitlerfox bought a dog to lure a kid, who ended up not going because fucking duh. Hitlerfox then fucked the dog instead of his husband.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          WTF is wrong with all those people?

          • guppy06

            How much time you got?

          • Jennifer R

            TL;DR nazis and pedos band together.

    • Arolpin

      Oddly enough I’m glad that I know several people in the Furry community that I can get this reference. I still laugh at Furries, but the ones I know are good people,and are trying to expose all the Nazi Furries.

      • Jennifer R

        You might know some of my friends.

        • Arolpin

          Are any of them on gushi.org?

          • Jennifer R

            Maybe, most of my fur friends I know from leftistfurs.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    JFC…Rachel says that a smaller % of people in Puerto Rico have power now than yesterday?

    Yeah, give yourself a 10, Donald…out of 10,000 maybe…

    /FFS

  • Suse

    Does anyone else love Al Green as much as I do? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs9mkVMv830

    • Aggle Wok

      Me too! Me too!

    • Wild Cat

      I felt so cheated. Top 40 in NYC in the 1970s only played his two most commercial songs. I freak out at how good his Soul Train “Take Me to the River” is.

  • amrak63

    Good night, just in case I don’t come back tonight.

    https://i.imgur.com/OV6c3Jn.jpg

    • OutOfOrbit

      so glad your sentence ended with “tonight”

    • Aggle Wok

      Pretty!

    • Tishalicious

      It might be time for me to say goodnight as well….I looked at this and thought, “Ruroni Kenshin?”

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    From Raw Story. There is absolutely nothing his royal anus will not lie about. Nothing is sacred with this pus filled lying sack of shit.

    ‘We can’t function on hypocrisy’: Colonel knocks Trump after CNN unearths claim he built the Vietnam Memorial

    NN unearthed the many occasions President Donald Trump falsely claimed that he built the Vietnam War Memorial in New York City to demonstrate the inappropriate way he has treated the military.

    The Washington Post revealed the brag to be a fraud in 1984, but Trump still used it in 2015 as an example for how he is better on helping the troops than Democrats. Trump got five draft deferments for the Vietnam War due to alleged bone spurs.

    “You would hope the idea here is that people should be accurate about what they’re doing,” retired Col. Cedric Leighton told CNN’s Erin Burnett. “Whether they did something that you know, benefits charity, or you know, that benefits, in this case, President Trump. That’s great if you really did that, that’s fantastic. But the issue here is you have to be truthful and the key victim in this, I think is the truth.”

    He went on to say that as an intelligence officer he was taught to be “operationally accurate,” which he described as an accuracy of 100 percent.

    “This idea that facts don’t matter is something that is corrosive,” he continued. “Not only to our institutions, but to our very democracy itself and that is something that really has to change. Because we cannot function on hypocrisy.”

    Video at the above link.

    • Subrok

      I love that we can call Catherine “Duquesa.” Holy shit, google it! It references Catherine! Of course this all stems from the Witcher 3 with Duquesa Anna Henrietta anyway, end geek mode/

  • Picabo
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m all about respecting military service, but it doesn’t get you a free pass for the rest of your fucking life. Kelly’s obviously gone to the dark side.

    • Subrok

      Well you could paraphrase a family member “Fuck his service, Generals are a dime a dozen, find me somebody that can lead a team out at night and bring them home safe night after ngiht and I’ll vote for them.”

      • yyyaz

        And twice on Sunday.

      • guppy06

        McDonald’s night manager?

    • Shanzgood

      Do they give out stars for lying now?

  • chascates
    • HazooToo

      You understand this took me a couple of readthroughs to be completely sure it was satire, because that is not even outside the realm of possibility anymore!

      • Serai 1

        I’m awaiting with great interest what she will say. My bet is it’ll be something very like what Andy has written. These people have no fucking sense of irony at all.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        The first few times I posted stuff from Borowitz I had to note it was satire. Especially at C&L.

      • That’s been my problem with the Borowitz Report since, well, forever.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      This is awesome.

    • Subrok

      So now Onion is a part of the old Gawker network…yay…

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    You suck for skipping Seattle. Donna Rose and my kids would be AMAZING together

    • Subrok

      I know, we’ll have to just soak up all the rain instead of the awesome shine that radiates from Wonk-babby et al.

      eta: I still want a shirt/hat dagnabbit!

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        Those are for sale online, I’m told.

        • Subrok

          Yes but when I made my donation I totally forgot like a jackass and here I am shirtless.

  • Picabo
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Looks like Kelly’s finally getting the comeuppance he’s long deserved. Joy Reid took him down HARD this evening. Yeah, four star general and shit, but you don’t want to fuck with Joy Reid

  • Serai 1

    I don’t know if you guys have heard about this, but it made me ROFL.

    https://twitter.com/edgette22/status/921103567771131904

    The gods know how long that was sitting there waiting to be discovered.

    • Joe Beese

      This is viral marketing on a whole other level.

      • Swampgas_Man

        O yeah, there’s a whole mini-series of Green Lantern meets the Colonel.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Ahhh! But now we know HOW MANY herbs and HOW MANY spices!

    • Suttree

      I still prefer Popeyes. Even though Al Copeland was a douchebag who would start fights in fine restaurants. His taste is automobiles sucked too.

      • Arolpin

        I don’t want to know any of that. I just want my local Popeye’s to sell onion rings. It’s not the same if I can’t get an order of spicy onion rings.

        • Suttree

          That’s the same thing I did. :) I really do miss Super Popeye’s on Veteran’s Boulevard though. They served some really strong margaritas! In the drive through.

          • Arolpin

            I’ve never eaten Popeye’s in New Orleans. I think the last time I actually had Popeye’s was at the Kauai airport last summer.

    • DainBramage

      What about grease? I worked there one summer in the dim and distant past, and it seemed to me that the most ubiquitous ingredient was grease.

  • I kinda like the Other Las Vegas better…

    Home to “Doc Holliday and his girlfriend Big Nose Kate, Jesse James, Billy the Kid, Wyatt Earp, Mysterious Dave Mather, Hoodoo Brown, and Handsome Harry the Dancehall Rustler.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b64636f8815f4026225584ef862466716d3e1a8c2d824a5a1a439f0fb8d176c5.jpg

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Las Vegas N.M. is a beautiful place….much nicer than that other shithole.

    • yyyaz

      OTOH, LV, NV makes the End of Times seem trivial rather than penitential.

  • Joe Beese

    A long time ago, I was faced with the choice of spending my LP buying budget on either Van Halen or Van Halen II.

    I chose unwisely.

    • Three Finger Salute

      At least it wasn’t Van Hagar. Or worse, Van Cherone.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I’ve never been a Van Halen fan but their first album, like the first album of many bands, was the best.

      Whenever I heard most of their later music, for some reason I always felt like I was at the circus.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      You passed up the Renoir? But it had a gold frame and everything!

    • mailman27

      The first record I bought with “my own” money was Rubber Soul. Lo I have become an old dude.

      • Arolpin

        MIne was “Get The Knack” but only because my uncle was teasing me about the cover of The Cars “Candy-O”, which I really wanted. “Get The Knack” is still a pretty good first album though.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Suttree

      Do you think Nunez and Gowdy are having a private meeting in the cloak room to figure out how to ignore this?

    • Stulexington

      Wait, you mean just like Yemen? Okay the anti-intellectualism has extended into intelligence gathering and that’s really really bad.

  • Suse

    As of yesterday, Roy Moore and Doug Jones were tied at 42-42%

    • Subrok

      With some 11% undecided which is people that won’t admit they’ll vote for a maniac like Moore..

      • Suse

        Damn!

        • Subrok

          Well that’s just me being cynical, Doug Jones might have a chance but smarter people than myself have a gloomy forecast.

          • Suse

            People are so fucking stupid.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Ossoff Episode VII: The Empire Strikes Our Backsides

          • Subrok

            Yes but that might not be a downside…

          • Three Finger Salute

            The Ossoff part will be.

            As for the “striking our backsides,” YKINMK…

      • OutOfOrbit

        killjoy

  • HazooToo
  • Picabo
    • Joe Beese
    • Jenny

      <3

    • Suse

      She’s a treasure.

    • Arolpin

      I try to hate on Jack White, basically for that whole “Jack & Meg are siblings” stupid bullshit, but he truly is a musical genius. Every time “Seven Nation Army” I realize he may be my favorite living artist.
      And Wanda Jackson kicks ass. This isn’t Johnny Cash doing “American Recordings” but it still kicks ass.

  • Joe Beese

    So does Trump use this as his excuse for firing Kelly?

    “I can’t have anyone dishonest in my administation.”