SHARE
FIB FACE.

Hey, did you hear the one about the White House chief of staff who lied about a speech a member of Congress gave at the dedication of an FBI building, just to smear her as punishment for confirming that his boss, the president, is a heartless twit who can’t even call a grieving military widow without twisting the knife and making her pain worse? And then video of that congresswoman’s speech surfaced, and it confirmed that the White House chief of staff was lying? It’s a real kneeslapper of a story.

So did General John Kelly apologize, now that the video is out and LITERALLY EVERYONE WITH EYES AND EARS can see that Rep. Frederica Wilson did not say the thing he said she said? (Watch for yourself! It’s a lovely speech.) Did he say, “Doy doy doy doy doy! Four-star general? More like FOUR-STAR DOOFUS”? Did he take back what he said about how Wilson made that speech ALL ABOUT HER, even though anybody who’s smarter than a 5th grade Trump supporter can watch the video for themselves and see what bullshit that is?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, no. Get a load of this fact-free White House bullshit:

“Gen. Kelly said he was ‘stunned’ that Rep. Wilson made comments at a building dedication honoring slain FBI agents about her own actions in Congress, including lobbying former President Obama on legislation,” Sanders said in a statement.

Not what he said.

“As Gen. Kelly pointed out, if you’re able to make a sacred act like honoring American heroes about yourself, you’re an empty barrel.”

Eat shit, asshole. Did you see the video link we posted above? Shall we post it again, just to remind you that YOU have the power to decide who is saying fake news here, by watching it for yourself?

In Friday’s press briefing, Sarah Huckabee Sanders came out and doubled down EVEN MORE. She stood by the White House’s fake news belief that John Kelly’s lies are true (they’re not) and said it was “highly inappropriate” for us to “get into a debate with a four-star general.” These motherfuckers in the White House do not seem to understand that Kelly is not the boss of us just because he was a general. They also do not seem to understand that actually we the American people are the boss of him. They also do not seem to understand that OH GO FUCK YOURSELVES, JOHN KELLY AND SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS.

Not including a video, because it’s Friday and we don’t want Shuckles stinking up our pristine and beautiful Wonkette. This screengrab should give you the gist:

Sarah Huckabee Sanders’s other excuse for John Kelly’s naughty lie-mouthing was that Frederica Wilson “also had quite a few comments that day that weren’t part of that speech and weren’t part of that video that were also witnessed by many people that were there,” so now they’ve moved the goalposts from “She made the speech all about her” to “John Kelly heard Tammy telling Heather that David and Tiffany were totally fucking under the bleachers and while they were under there, Frederica Wilson did Benghazi.”

Jesus Christ, these fucking tools.

We’re going to close this post with a video of OUR NEW FAVORITE Rep. Frederica Wilson talking to local media about this stupid controversy. About John Kelly going after her, she says, “A dog can bark at the moon all night long. But it doesn’t become an issue until the moon barks back!” She also LOLed about what a tizzy the White House is having right now:

You mean to tell me that I have become so important that the White House is following me and my words? This is amazing. It’s amazing. That is absolutely phenomenal. I’ll have to tell my kids that I’m a rock star now!

Hahahahahahahaha she is delightful.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries, servers, and all of the things are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, click here to fund us!

[Talking Points Memoibid.]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    She stood by the White House’s fake news belief that John Kelly’s lies are true (they’re not) and said it was “highly inappropriate” for us to “get into a debate with a four-star general.”

    I’m sorry, when I went to bed I was in America. I didn’t realize I woke up in a banana republic.

  • BadKitty904

    I wouldn’t believe John Kelly if he said “Good morning”.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      “Good morning!”

      “Fuck you too, General.”

      • BadKitty904

        I’d go with “Fuck you, too, traitor,” but still…

    • kaydenpat

      Me either. He works for a liar and now is a proven liar.

      • BadKitty904

        He is just as untrustworthy and contemptible as the rest of them.

  • Suttree

    The tried and true stratagery of the WH. Get caught in an obvious lie, lie lie some more! Fucking whiny children. No dessert for you!

    • BadKitty904

      And it keeps working. No consequences in sight…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      They shan’t have any pudding, even if they do eat their meat.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        upfist for the wall reference.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Can we please stop pretending that John Kelly will save us now? Or that there are any competent babysitters in the White House?

    • Blackest Noobs

      ha ha i was done pretending….oh wait i NEVER pretend to believe this pretense of bullshit….

    • Wild Cat

      Makes the otherwise Adam L Silverman on BJ seem naive; guy kept insisting Kelly was respected by the few sane members of the US military.

    • kaydenpat

      I never believed that Kelly or any of Trump’s sycophants were going to save us. That will be up to Mueller.

      • Wild Cat

        Mueller, whatever he cares to find out, needs a Congress and court and functioning law enforcement to do anything.

        • Michael Smith

          To do that, he might need to have extensive public hearings airing Trump’s dirty laundry. That’s how Sam Ervin eroded the rights’ passionate loyalty to Nixon, thus freeing Republican representatives to back away from the White House.

    • Michael Smith

      Remember when Jared was the babysitter?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Jared keeps trying in vain to get Trudeau to take Trump off his hands.

        (Ivanka, that is.)

    • Mavenmaven

      You mean you don’t believe Ivanka and Jared have been a modifying influence on Trump?

  • armed_bears

    One thing is true. One thing is not. And we are left wondering why this is a difficult concept.

    • Creepoman

      Don’t you see? Both sides are a thing!

  • Scooby

    She didn’t say it on the tape….but damn it she was thinking it.

  • H0mer0

    I like the cut of her jib. Another example of projection by the trumpists, since it is really supposed to be about Trumpf.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Once again, I should have scrolled down.

      • H0mer0

        we prolly tied

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT kinda – you guys, Lindsay Graham is on CNN right now talking about how the “war is expanding into Africa” and “we don’t want the next 9-11 to come from Niger.”

    Fuck.

  • Crystalclear12

    Next time I say vote for anything blue I want to hear: Yes, ma’am.
    Not but her emails. .
    Not he woulda won. . .
    Not they aren’t progressive enough.

    Now, I have to go scream at a cloud.
    And get off my lawn!

    • kaydenpat

      Please tell that to the voters in Virginia. Just read that the Democratic and Republican Candidates for Governor are bleeping tied.

      • little miss high and mighty

        Doono, there Kayde, 538 quotes Quinnipiac University who is polling Northam up 14 (53-39).
        So, there’s that , too, also.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Kid Rock is within the margin of error with Debbie Stabenow.

          And he hasn’t even taken out papers yet.

          America = FAIL.

        • kaydenpat

          Politico has them as tied two days ago. Glad to see your poll though. But I hope our side gets out in droves. Northern Virginia usually swings the state blue so it may be a long night.

  • kaydenpat

    Another liar for Trump. Love that the media caught Kelly in a lie and brought him down several pegs.

  • Wild Cat

    Don’t you feel that if you squeezed Kelly’s fat nose you’d get a Martini?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I feel I’d get something very orange and very foul-smelling.

      • Wild Cat

        An Orange Crush with Ripple?

        • elviouslyqueer

          Candy corn vodka, more like.

  • OrG

    Unlike Lou Grant, I like spunk.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Girl, no. You were a rockstar the moment you busted out that fucking AMAZING hat. And OMG THAT ROSE.

    • BadKitty904

      Mesmerizing, ain’t it?

  • jesterpunk

    We can’t question a 4 star general now?

    A message for General Kelly and the rest of the white house.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/yXQwQ1lJ1Fcc0/giphy.gif

  • cheetojeebus

    A scientific analysis of Kelly’s actions. Here pantomimed by a clam. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bc83e2c1265b891f707d7baaf73bd323dfda0ac8d7296da0b9ed6cb9044bf6e5.gif

  • Zonath

    “She stood by the White House’s fake news belief that John Kelly’s lies are true (they’re not) and said it was “highly inappropriate” for us to “get into a debate with a four-star general.””

    Right. Because once someone retires from the military as a 4-star general and becomes a political functionary of a corrupt administration who uses his courtesy title as a talisman of respectability, his word becomes entirely unimpeachable.

    And it’s not like an actual serving 4-star general would find it “entirely inappropriate” to dip his toe into a political dispute by lying on behalf of said corrupt administration, since it’s not like there are any rules against that or anything…

    • Wild Cat

      Since Godwin is dead, it’s about as rational to expect anything decent from this junta than you would expect from a Hitler-led government.

  • Michael Smith

    I see the Trump Administration hasn’t given up its War on Facts.

    • Crystalclear12

      They got reality on the ropes.

      • BadKitty904

        With American Media’s oh-so-willing help.

    • cmd resistor

      So we should make little “fact” ornaments for our Christmas trees?

  • TundraGrifter

    One thing you’ve got to say about Sarah Huckabee Sanders, her barrel ain’t empty. Looks like they crammed about 100 LB’s into a 50-pound drum.

    • SeeTrain65

      20 pounds of horse shit in a 10-gallon hat.

  • memzilla Ω

    The NEXT fucking person who turns this episode into a Both Sides Do It — looking at you, Tuck Chodd — deserves to have their toilet paper made out of prickly pear.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a5a098bd4c06041f26cc9e82498878b565cdfee2ba402827fc55a98ec09b5036.jpg

  • Crystalclear12

    The only way I would forgive Kelly is if he was undercover for Mueller and he did this to get the mark’s confidence.

    That seems realllly unlikely.

  • little miss high and mighty

    We love us some Fredi!

  • Ninja0980

    If someone flat out lies about someone else this way, I really don’t give a fuck how many stars they have.
    Serving your country doesn’t give a right to not be called out.

  • gallbladder

    Is it just me or does every fucking Rethuglican office holder have dead, cold, and soulless eyes? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1352ff94eb55672aee3f446303a841f0665d9efdf359775fd6db6704a74df3ae.jpg

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      What, no S. Miller? Or do you choose not to keep that picture to keep your device from permanently locking up?

      • gallbladder

        Yes. Miller is too ghastly this time of day. And besides, I’m not drunk.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Good point.

    • Covfefe
      • gallbladder

        FUCK!!!! Oh, Jesus FUCK!!!!

      • The Wanderer

        DEAR SWEET EMBRACE OF DEATH! I almost spit up my Fig Newtons!

      • elviouslyqueer

        It’s Caliwise!

      • Ling Ling

        That is some grade A predator smirk

      • Blanche de Shambles

        GAAAAHHHH

      • SomeBigRedDog

        Dude, you gotta warn people before you just go flashing that around.

      • Daniel

        If you want to find out what’s behind these cold eyes/ you’ll just have to claw your way through this disguise.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Upfist for Roger Waters lyrics.

      • Alan

        Egad, a warning would be in order.

      • BadKitty904

        God the Father commands you,
        God the Son commands you,
        God the Holy Spirit commands you,
        Avaunt, thou unclean!

      • SeeTrain65

        “Everybody loves Hypnotoad.”

      • Ωbjectifier

        Hair by Arai.

      • BadKitty904

        Looks like someone found Donnie’s cache of gak…

    • Daniel

      Sometimes when you stare into the abyss, the abyss farts in your face.

    • Bemused

      The law firm of Defensive, Bored, and Startled.

  • Persistent Demme

    Faceplace has this little item about Trump calling one of the other widows, and being (supposedly) nice.
    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/a-gold-star-widow-says-trump-understood-her-loss/ar-AAtKWqF
    (Sorry, I couldn’t bear to read it.)

    1, So?
    2. Do they think this means Wilson is a liar? If so, how?
    3. Did Trump know this widow is a black woman?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “How can you fail me in this class?”
      “You have a 50% average in the course.”
      “See, I at least get half of it right!”

      /divided by 10 or so, in this case.

  • Mavenmaven

    He’s not the boss of us until he imposes martial law, which could be any day now.

    • BadKitty904

      He can try.

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    Somewhere, Sean Spicer is giggling maniacally

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    I hope Sarah Cuckabee Slanders is on Mueller’s shortlist for a nice little chat, preferably under oath.

    He had better get an asbestos bible for this crowd.

  • Michael Smith

    Funny how some members of the military are given unflinching deference and reverence while others are senile old men who lied about their captivity, spilled secrets to the enemies, betrayed their country, are jealous of Trump and need to retire or die already.

  • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

    Rep. Wilson, I like the cut of your jib!

    • BadKitty904

      Slightly OT: Is there a cocktail called a Jib-cutter? If not, there should be.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        to the googles!!!

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        …and the closest I got was Fog Cutter, which is a pretty boozy drink. Some variation on that, maybe.

        • BadKitty904

          Rum, ginger-ale, and ecstasy or some such…

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            Yikes. Why not throw in some LSD while you’re at it, Kitty?

          • BadKitty904

            Hey, I was just spit-ballin’ ideas…

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Humility, as opposed to th constant neediness and bragging, and a sense of humor as opposed to…none.
      The pattern’s becoming pretty obvious here, too- Trumpkins reserves his meanest and most vindictive behavior for women of color.

  • TimResistit

    Bwaaaahahahaha!

    http://www.sfgate.com/news/medical/article/Trump-s-health-subsidy-shutdown-could-lead-to-12289756.php

    Trump’s health subsidy shutdown could lead to free insurance

    • Three Finger Salute

      Resistance is futile; you will be Canadianated.

      • Daniel

        Assuming you consent, eh?

        • Three Finger Salute

          ‘Course. Anything else wouldn’t be polite.

    • bupkus231

      I saw an earlier version of this AP report this morning. It had me SMH, since the guy’s “reporting” on this is so confused and wrong – but that headline was blasted.

      This is all about the premium support tax credit/subsidy ( based on the second-lowest silver plan premium ) going up as premiums go up. This report presumes that if the silver plan premiums go up more than the bronze plan ones ( a very dubious proposition ) some people may end up opting for the lower coverage bronze plans ( which cost more out-of-pocket – which is the subsidy that Trump is trying to end ).

      It’s reporting for the gullible.

  • The Wanderer

    She needs a different hat. I recommend a Jackie O-esque pillbox.

    • Daniel

      Given the reaction from the White House, she’d be better with an Enver Hoxa-esque pillbox.

      • The Wanderer

        How about a kicky, chic beret?

    • eastcoastlib

      Fuck that. Jackie was Jackie. Ms. Freddy makes her own rules.

  • Daniel

    First- it is entirely appropriate to question anyone who lies to the public.
    Second- no one is “going after a four star general” anyway. They are “going after” the White House Chief of Staff.
    Third- along with the shite he poured from his mouthhole yesterday about the higher quality of citizens that have been or are still in the armed services can you people even pretend to value democracy?

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      How many stars do you need before you can never be questioned? How many did Michael Flynn have?

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        In a fascist regime? None, all you need is an uniform.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    “Shuckles”. First time I’ve seen that. Perfecto but I did blow a mouthful of chicken soup all over my desk.

    Bwahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahhhahhahhahahahaha.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      I had to learn the hard way:
      Chew. Swallow. read a bit. repeat.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    There was a reason for that law which had to be waived to allow Mattis to serve in this White House. Jeezus M. Christ.

  • ariel_gee_398

    So the official position is, “The black lady shouldn’t sass the important white man”? Strong work, WH. I didn’t think you could be more contemptible, but every day, you lower the bar.

    • TJ Barke

      You still think there’s a bar?

      • ariel_gee_398

        At this point, only the one holding my coping beer.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Wait, are there no cantinas? No more speakeasies? Dives?

        I am without hope.

        Anyways, off to the place of beverages because this shit is just getting worse everyday.

      • SeeTrain65

        No, but there are plenty of carry-outs nearby.

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        Well, there’s always ground level, which is miles above where they’re digging now.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Of course there is. It’s nearly molten, but it’s still a bar,

    • elviouslyqueer

      “Oh girl, hold my damn earrings.”

      — April Ryan, just now.

  • elviouslyqueer

    The way the light hits that screencap of Shuckles just so makes her look like the Mona Lisa after just having undergone a full frontal lobotomy.

  • Roni Raven

    Y’all. This is off topic but what could Dump possibly be up to with this?

    https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2017/10/20/presidential-executive-order-amending-executive-order-13223

    • gallbladder

      I doubt Drumpf even knows.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      0-dimensional checkers. All the checkers on one square.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Candy Land, but Trump keeps scribbling on the board and then eating the crayons before vomiting them up like a common Snapchat filter.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Executiveorderception.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Martial Law.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Looks like an expansion of authority and resources available to the military secretaries to “fight terrorism.” Typical Trump militarization & paranoia. But I don’t know what “The authorities available for use during a national emergency under sections 688 and 690 of title 10, United States Code” are.

      • ariel_gee_398

        The ability to recall retired military personnel.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Thanks Ariel.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Title 10, Section 688 and 690 are the provisions regarding recalling retired military officers to active duty.

        688 describes who qualifies under the provision to be recalled, and how long they may be recalled for. 690 is the section that describes the limitations in terms of number (both by grade and branch of service). Both sections have a clause that any limits on the number or duration of service may be waived in times of national emergency or war.

    • Alan

      Martial law. It’s a coup.

  • Crystalclear12

    Do you think Reince Priebus is sitting on a bar stool somewhere telling people “At least I was never that bad!” then laughing like a common Renfield?

    • The Wanderer

      He’d be a common Renfield if he was scrabbling about on the floor of the bar, scooping up and eating cockroaches.

      • Nockular cavity

        What, like he’s not?

        • Daniel

          No, he’s taking donations from them.

          • weejee

            Reince raptures over roaches.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I’ll just say this – I never did think you were DILF-y, John Kelly! So take that!

    • BadKitty904

      Good on you, babe…

    • elviouslyqueer

      Preach, sister girl. PREACH.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      You are better than that, GTT.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        But only just barely.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      The political cartoons depicting his weird little nose slits are a tad too… well, on the nose.

  • Ling Ling

    As a veteran, I would greatly enjoy arguing w/a 4 star, active or expired. I have time for his staff, too.

    • miss_grundy

      I would rather have you kick his butt…without benefit of votes. That would make me happier, especially if you taped it.

  • Daniel

    Mayor of San Juan, criticises Trump, has the flying monkeys of the administration sent after her and the Orange Catastrophe himself tweeting abuse.

    Rep. from Florida, criticises Trump, has the flying monkeys of the administration and the Orange Catastrophe himself tweeting abuse.

    Mother of a dead soldier, criticises Trump, is called a liar by the flying monkeys for not interpreting Trump’s clumsy pretence of empathy as he wanted it to be interpreted.

    What do these three women from minorities have in common?

    They were all mean to Trump.

    • SeeTrain65

      And all non-white.

      Then again, when it comes to insulting anyone, his mouth is color-blind.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Dude, I’m pretty sure today is Thursday. Are you sure it’s Friday?

    *looks at calendar*

    OH.

    Fuck it. I stand by my comment that today is Thursday. I stand by it, even though the calendar proves, without a shadow of a doubt, today is, in fact, Friday.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Just make sure you are clear about Saturday and Sunday.

    • weejee

      Very too many datelines….

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      “Ms on Maui made it clear that today is Thursday even though the lying media try to spin this into Friday. We are not going to let any non-Gold Star reporters revise the calendar to their liking.”
      –Shuckles

  • Lefty Wright

    The assholes in the White House are so familiar with lying, although totally unbelievable at it, that Sanders could stand on stage at a televised event, with flames crawling up her legs, and deadpan a statement that “my pants are not on fire”.

  • weejee
  • Vincent Ricola

    “All hat and no cattle” is a really dumb phrase. I’ve never even heard it before today and I live in a red state full of cattle.

    In fairness though, I don’t have the benefit of a fancy education from Ouachita Baptist University in Arkadelphia, Arkansas, so I might be coming at this from a place of blue-collar ignorance.

    • cmd resistor

      Never heard it before, either. She probably thinks it is a funny joke about Rep. Wilson’s hats. which she does wear every day, somehow to honor her Grandma.

    • Bemused

      My grandfather (the Colorado beef farmer) used to say it and that side of my family definitely uses it. Urban cowboys wear big fancy hats, but don’t own any cattle.

  • Three Finger Salute
  • WotsAllThisThen

    “It’s highly inappropriate to get into a debate with a four-star general.”

    “Why is that?”

    (Ride of the Valkyries starts playing in the distance)

    • TimResistit

      Waitaminute, didn’t Orange Foolius say he knows more than the generals?

      • Three Finger Salute

        General Mills and Captain Crunch, maybe.

        • automaticpilot

          And Major Boredom

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    I was born in Houston, Tx, in 1962. I was a member of a huge family of racist fuckwipes. Some of my uncles, cousins, and one Grandfather were in the KKK. When I talk about racists, I know of what I speak. Kelly’s description of Rep. Wilson’s behavior at this event just dripped with the kind of condescension, hatred and racism I grew up with. Kelly’s recollection and false description of Wilson’s speech are typical of racists. They recall NOTHING good about black people, but their memory of how disgusted they are with black people’s behavior is INCREDIBLE. Racists like Kelly are wholly unable to view blacks as anything other than dangerous, violent, unintelligent animals that he’s forced to deal with. Like Drumpf, Kelly will NEVER treat blacks in this country as his equal, unless he’s forced to do so.

  • Panika MCD

    it seems that the lying fake news is oppressing this administration–unfortunately the lying fake newsers are in the administration creating scandals every time they open their mouths. there is a fairly cheap solution for this and it is duct tape.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Silence is golden.

      Duct tape is silver.

      • hudson

        Hillarious

  • Holy crap, some liberals foolishly wished Kelly and Mattis would military-coup Trump. What if there has been a military coup but it’s a military coup FOR Trump? I.e. the top brass told Trump he’s no longer a Putin puppet, he’s a top-brass puppet if he knows what’s good for him? And Donny doesn’t care as long as he gets his two scoops?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      As long as they give him a uniform with lots of shiny medals and parades with all the hardware, he’ll be happy.

      • Rags

        This is frighteningly likely.

    • Red Bird

      Nope. More like they already subscribe to Trump’s philosophy and are willing protectors of his agenda.

  • Tzipora Kaplan

    real talk i would pay srs money to have Reps. Frederica Wilson and Maxine Waters podcast together

  • eastcoastlib

    Yes Ms. Wilson, you are a total rock star. That lying two bit tin pot general isn’t fit to shine your shoes.

  • schmannity

    Gen. Kelly corrected himself and said that he saw Wilson dancing in the streets of Newark on 9/11.

  • Lefty Wright

    So Kelly yearns for the good old days, when women were treated as sacred. Then he goes on to call women today, especially black women, basically lying bitches. I think that says a lot more about Kelly and his attitude than it does for women today, or 50 years ago. People like Kelly never considered anything about women sacred.

    • Alan

      Treated as sacred, not let out in public.

      • Augustus

        taken out furniture shopping, then they get grabbed by the sacred bits?

        • Alan

          Yes, as long as they behave themselves. I’m fairly sure that shopping is a reward for compliance.

    • Bemused

      I don’t want to be sacred. Sacred things are hidden away and only dressed up and brought out on holy days.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Sacred like couldn’t sign a lease or open a bank account in their own name? That kind of sacred?

      NO THANKS.

    • Augustus

      it’s funny how it’s the black ladies who are REALLY getting these motherfuckers all worked up

      I love it

  • WotsAllThisThen

    If it’s “highly inappropriate” to debate a four star general, maybe the four star general should stay out of politics?

    • OutOfOrbit

      but totally appropriate for a 4or star Fuck to lie to the press

    • ariel_gee_398

      Or he shouldn’t fucking lie?

      • Augustus

        he should go fuck himself, also, too

    • Spurning Beer

      He knew what he was signing up for.

    • miss_grundy

      He should take his four-star epaulets and stick them where the sun doesn’t shine…without benefit of votes.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    General Kelly, you are being outclassed in so many ways by the congress woman,

  • eyelashviper

    Kelly really played his cards and showed the world what an abominable asshat and racist that he is at his core. And a lying sycophant, also too.

    • Creepoman

      Still struggling to see what Kelly gains from sacrificing whatever credibility he may have had on the alter of Trump. Kelly spent his life climbing through the ranks, building his reputation and credibility, and then, in one furious stroke, blows his entire load on Trump. (Apologies for the visual)

      • eyelashviper

        Agree, it is hard to comprehend how he could hitch his wagon to such a burning pile of shit.

        • miss_grundy

          There are plenty of Bostonians who are just as racist as the shitgibbon. So, I am not surprised.

      • miss_grundy

        It’s simple: he’s an asshole and credibility is for losers, just like any positive attribute in a human being is for losers according to Fuckface von Clownstick.

    • Red Bird

      I guess that’s why he was brought onto the administration in the first place. I’m waiting for the day when some reporter finds the single thread that connects all of them to the same white supremacist organizations. It’s just a matter of time.

  • Poly_Ester

    And here all this time, Kelly was fooling us into thinking he was the one sane person in the trump administration.

    • HazooToo

      Does no one at all remember that he was serving in the DHS before this?

      • Sheepshagger

        No one remembers nothing these days. Memory is painful.

        • HazooToo

          This is why I gave you guys that fucking slime recipe the other day! So you could have something to crush and rip to shreds!

      • miss_grundy

        And he had ICE pick up undocumented immigrants while they were dropping their children off at school. So, imagine a little boy or girl dropped off by mommy or daddy and then the school day ends and there is no one to pick them up. Gee, what a Marine terrorizing children. Hijo de puta!

        • HazooToo

          And while trying to press charges for domestic abuse.

    • Alan

      No sane person would have taken the job.

    • Bemused

      It’s all in your perspective. Not quite as crazy isn’t necessarily sane.

  • Bitter Scribe

    “Never apologize, never explain” = always an asshole.

  • Spurning Beer

    Four star generals, apparently, are another thing that is supposed to be sacred.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Thank goodness something still is! I thought we were all in trouble once I found out that women no longer were!

      • Spurning Beer

        Now, a woman four-star general — mwa! That’s what I call sacred!

  • Creepoman

    Remember when the media was tussling about when to call something a lie and when you can label someone (cough, Trump, cough) a liar? Maybe it was only a misstatement, because, you know, there was not intent to deceive, or Trump is just spit-balling and too stoopid to know the objective truth, so we can’t call him a liar.

    This, on the other hand, fits every objective standard of a lie – it is factually inaccurate, the speaker knows it is not true, and it is used to intentionally deceive. No hand-wringing necessary, WaPo, WSJ, NYT, ABC, NBC, etc. John Kelly is a liar.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    “The world will soon see that the lies of this President will not be questioned!”

    –official Trump policy

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I miss the old days, when honesty was sacred.

  • Sheepshagger

    “Muera la inteligencia! ¡Viva la Muerte!”

    It’s that time again, train is coming through.

  • andyshelt

    Kelly yearns for the days when women were sacred.

    Trump yearns for the days when women were scared.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Talk about lowering one’s own self while raising that of the person you are trying to tear down. If nothing else, now we learn that Rep Wilson is effective in being able to light a fire under people’s asses to get things done — and is generous in her praise to all those involved. This is some serious Obi-wanning here.

  • bupkus231
    • ltmcdies

      Who the fuck is Lara Trump and why would she have access to WH transcripts, imaginary or real

      • bupkus231

        She’s the wife of one of the sons, Eric, I think – In an earlier thread ( before the WH denied there was a transcript ) I called her his “beard” and got slapped for an inappropriate comment.

        As to whether she could have “access” – thus is the same WH that put a 36-year-old son-in-law in charge of negotiating Middle East peace. Anything’s possible ( except the truth ).

        ( BTW – I screwed up the first link – should have pointed to ThinkProgress’s article rather than search results for Lara Trump )

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Umm.. How might beard be inappropriate? Or, what does it mean not inappropriately?

          • bupkus231

            It was just snark – a “beard” is someone who agrees to pose as another’s partner, as an “acceptable” partner, in order to hide that other’s preferences. Used to be used primarily to hide one’s sexual preferences, but also can be used in other contexts, too ( say, in business ).

            The implication was that I was calling the Trump son a closeted gay – and someone didn’t think that was okay in this community…

    • cmd resistor

      We flipped past FOX this morning and they were saying how Eric and Lara would be coming on next to show us their new baby. She must have gotten the baby pics mixed up with the non-existent transcript. Donnie Jr. has tweeted some mean shit about Rep. Wilson, also, too.

  • Manhattan123

    That lumpy sack of potatoes known as the White House press secretary should go to her daddy and ask for forgiveness because he is a religious Evangelical type and opposed to lying. Oh…wait…

  • Jim

    Every time some new mark joins this administration everyone is all like oh this will change Trump when in fact the influence of the priapic ooze that is Trump’s brain changes them.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It doesn’t change them at all. It just gives the green light to their own priapic ooze.

  • Flashman

    The Minnesota Twins should hire some four star generals to argue ball/strike calls with the umpire next year.

  • Blackest Noobs
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    A Message from Dog Butt Jeebus™ …

    We need more rock stars like Rep. Frederica Wilson in Congress. That is all.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cb5a224ba3d30122b9a52aaaed63a3e67bd8ded64487546c478c669c939a3ddb.jpg

  • Sheepshagger

    Hey ah…president just amended an EO on recalling retired military and now they’re pulling 1000 retired pilots back to active duty. https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/10/20/air-force-recall-many-1-000-retired-pilots-address-serious-shortage/785344001/

    reassuring!

    • Courser_Resistance

      Oh, that’s going to end well, I’m sure.

      • Sheepshagger

        It really seriously feels like we’re just sleepwalking into a catastrophe. These will be the points where historians (assuming they persist ) will not be kind to us.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Story I was told by an Iraqi engineer & former Iraqi military pilot who’d emigrated to the US.

          After the fall of the Shah, the new Regime paid his family a visit. He was in another city at the time. When they later located him, he was basically told he could fly for them or they’d kill his family. He was too valuable to put a bullet in HIS head, so they threatened his family. He said it was terrifying. They were hopping the pilots up on drugs to keep them flying for long periods of time with no rest. Somehow, he and his family got out.

        • SisterArtemis

          Those future historians (weird) will point to Wonkette as one of the bells that sounded early and often.

          • Rags

            When they dig one of our hard drives out of the radioactive slag and check our browser history.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Some kind of space emergency? Killer comet? Old satellite?

      https://www.clinteastwood-movies.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/10042372.jpg

    • Bemused

      WFT?! They aren’t flight qualified any more. And most of them probably haven’t ACTUALLY flown in more than a decade.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Can they drive UAVs?

        • Bemused

          Prolly not without some kind of training.

    • Holly

      It’ll never happen. I’m a retired Navy pilot and this is just another squirrel diversionary tactic. Most of us retired pilots couldn’t pass the flight surgeons medical exam, and haven’t logged the hours needed in the aircraft. Even the younger ones among us that could pass the med cert exam would need extensive hours in the air and that alone is cost and time prohibitive.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        The guy with life-threatening, nearly-fatal bone spurs (in what foot was it again) is going to call up retired pilots to bomb, uh, Chad?

        Yeah, that’s going to fly.

        • Holly

          Those pesky bone spurs! Nearly fatal and as life threatening as they were didn’t stop him from being a horrible slumlord at the same time his feet were simply killing him and he couldn’t possibly serve his country. He needed to throw all the blacks out of daddy’s buildings.

  • redarmyzombie

    “A dog can bark at the moon all night long. But it doesn’t become an issue until the moon barks back!”

    Fear the Old Blood.

    http://bloodborne.wiki.fextralife.com/file/Bloodborne/Moon_Presence_Cinema_Extra.jpg

  • cmd resistor

    Yeah, this is what shithead Gen Kelly said. Not, oh, and she said some other shit after she SAT DOWN and we were so STUNNED that she had DONE IT.
    “And a congresswoman stood up, and in the long tradition of empty barrels making the most noise, stood up there and all of that and talked about how she was instrumental in getting the funding for that building, and how she took care of her constituents because she got the money, and she just called up President Obama, and on that phone call he gave the money — the $20 million — to build the building. And she sat down, and we were stunned. Stunned that she had done it. Even for someone that is that empty a barrel, we were stunned.”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Wonkette should send Frederica an “Impeach” hat as a thank-you. Tell her to hold on to it, it might become useful.

    • EvanHurst

      WE SHOULD.

      • Holly

        I’ll gladly buy it for her.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          I’ll pitch in if we can send one to Gen Kelly too.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Make his in camo.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Special edition IMPEACH cowboy hat?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Great idea!

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    So Evan, this article has been a fine way to wrap up National “Character Counts” Week. You really can’t make this up.

    • SeeTrain65

      And Wonkette’s been counting all the ways the administration never lived up to any semblance of character.

  • John Vinson

    Poor sadsack Kelly… has to take orders from a confirmed moron and early/mid-stage Alzheimers victim.

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Beware of people who buy turd polish in bulk.

  • Holly

    He took this oath when he became a commissioned officer in the Marine Corp:
    I, [name], do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will BEAR TRUE FAITH and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.
    I don’t think he knows what BEAR TRUE FAITH means. He’s actually doing the opposite of that. He’s BEARING FALSE WITNESS!! In other words he’s a lying liar and has broken what most Marine’s consider a sacred oath that you honor for the rest of your life. Semper Fidelis my ass Kelly. You’re even worse than Trump.

  • renegade500

    I love this woman! It’s the blush of new love, but I used to live in the district she represents, and those citizens need her voice! We all need her voice. I don’t think my girl crush is going away any time soon.

    Also, too, that woman can rock a cowboy hat.

    • eyelashviper

      She is proof that there are lots of good, strong, and righteous Floridians still…

  • ken_kukec

    You know Trump is dying to give Rep. Wilson a derogatory nickname regarding those hats — “colored cowboy” would be about his speed. (He could go with “Sheriff Bart,” but he’s too dim to get the Blazing Saddles/Cleavon Little reference.)

    • renegade500

      He did call her wacky. I’m sure she loved it.

  • eyelashviper
  • BJW

    With Kelly sticking himself into Trump’s bad call to Rep Wilson, by lying and doubling down, he’s proved he’s a shithead just like Trump. He apparently shares enough of Trump’s “values” to be able to lie with a straight face, and use a sad, moving memory to do so. Smarter than Trump, more organized, but a shithead.

    • cmd resistor

      Should have realized he was a lying crap the other day when he said those photos of him that people said were him looking pained backstage when Trump was giving a speech were just him concentrating hard or something equally inane.

      • BJW

        Oh…I remember that now. I didn’t think well of that but I’d forgotten. (Because dammit, after I hit 55 I started forgetting stuff.) Yeah, it was obvious he was lying about it.

        But now he’s calling Rep Wilson a liar. So he’s doing his best to besmirch a politician of the opposing party simply to validate Trump. That’s a whole nother level of wrong. Fucker.

        • cmd resistor

          That other lie could have been at least understandable. He could hardly have said, Oh, yeah, Trump is such an asshole that I can’t cover up my true facial reaction to him. This is much worse, I agree. And then I had forgotten how he made that funny little joke when the Coast Guard gave Trump a ceremonial sword at their graduation and Kelly said, oh, you can use that on the press. so, yeah, I’ve lost any respect.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Trying to remember how to not shit his pants for the second time that day… But he couldn’t remember…

      • miss_grundy

        Or excrement traveling through his colon.

    • Rags

      Four star enabler.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Yep. Trump prefers generals who are assholes.
      https://youtu.be/YxpqwtHkcbU

  • NotALiar

    I love her hats. If you don’t, fight me.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I don’t like her hats (and I do generally love hats), but I like that she has the flair to wear them. I have a nice collection that I can’t wear in public because where I live, hats are seen as insanely formal (other than touques or baseball hats).

      • Nasty Girl Brianna

        The only way to wear a cowboy hat is ironically, IMO.

      • eastcoastlib

        Let us debate Kelly’s uncircumcised peen of a head instead of the good Congresswoman’s head gear

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        I don’t agree with your hat, but I’ll defend to the death your right to wear it.
        As long as it doesn’t say MAGA.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I’m not a fighter. I’m a lover. In this case, of hats.

    • SeeTrain65

      I’m not a fan of cowboy hats, but she sports it better than Crazy Dave from Wisco.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Red Bird

      He’s a great negotiator.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Wow… It’s even worse than it seemed like it might be…

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      To be fair to Trump, I doubt he had any idea that there were countries named Chad and Niger, or what we would be doing there, or that Tillerson was every involved in the oil industry. Knowing these things would take too much time away from thinking about himself.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        Chad used to date Ivanka. That niger better not even think about it.

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
    • Changeling

      Maybe those fake Jebus bills?

      • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

        Those are legal tender there.

  • lucidamente
  • Rags

    This whole thing is an exercise in framing. “What could possibly be more important than respect to a hero (i.e. a member of the military)?” Ignore the policy lapses that caused his death. I have great respect for those who choose to stand in harm’s way in support of our foreign policy goals, but to idolize them as 4-5 does and Kelly amplifies is to cast the rest of us as subservient to a military elite. This is the true path to military rule.

    • Nasty Girl Brianna

      Hmm. Now where have I heard that before.

      Ah yes.

      14 Defining Characteristics of Fascism:

      #4. Supremacy of the Military – Even when there are widespread
      domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

      • Rags

        Yup

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        The Karl Rove playbook?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Classy. Whenever they show Rep. Wilson they play cartoon sound effects. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6Jz5MVgXLY

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

      Ben Shapiro is a cartoon sound effect when he speaks.

      • La Cieca

        JINX

    • DuchessD’Orleans

      That cuckoo clock sound is totes fair and balanced. I mean it’s a CLOCK after all.It has no bias.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      This is a cruder, more racist version of what they did to Cindy Sheehan back in the day. Fox used to have to gussy it up around the edges—-now they’re just spewing it out rank and reeking.

      I don’t know, maybe the virulent little fascist Roger Ailes WAS the class of the act, holding back the tide of raw sewage.

    • La Cieca

      Well, it’s only fair, since Ben is a cartoon visual effect.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Virgin Ben still a virgin.

      • Boscoe

        With anything LIVING, anyway. Look at the guy and then give me odds on what they’d find buried in his yard…

        • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

          He looks like Ted Bundy :(

    • CripesAmighty

      The Hanna-Barbera News Hour.

      • TundraGrifter

        Wasn’t she James O’Keefe’s sidekick? As for sad, pathetic little Ben, who takes him seriously?

    • SeeTrain65

      They should do the same when Virgin Ben shows up.

      He IS comedy relief.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “DEM SLAMS DISGUSTING CALL TO GOLD STAR FAMILY”
      See how that changes everything?

      “Fucks Gnus -Your 24/7 source of what the GOP wants you to hear.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Look over there. Clinton Foundation gave all the uranium to the Russians.

  • Machnethylsteinerbincolabird

    No barrel. No barrel. You’re the barrel.

    • Bebecca

      And what about the empty barrel he works for?

  • SterWonk

    You gym has a TV built into the treadmill (elliptical?)?! If my apartment’s equipment were that fancy, I might actually use the exercise room! :-p

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      I had to stop using the equipment at my apartment because the TV was always on Faux at high volume and no iPod could drown it out.

  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    Remember: there are four lights, and don’t let any Cardassian or 4 star Marine General tell you any different.

  • Anna Rompage

    I suppose it’s official, disgraced ex-general John Kelly is now officially a deplorable…

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      We’re gonna need a bigger basket.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Ramen.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    I knew it would turn out to be a lie. Now I’m waiting for someone to provide a timeline of Kelly’s day and prove that the mofo went no where near Arlington cemetery that day.

  • miss_grundy

    The Blue Falcon said what?

  • SnowBomber

    It looks like Sarah got into her mom’s hot rollers and old Avon eye shadow. Did the 80s come back while I was eating lunch?

  • Once again, press dears….you ask these two questions:
    If it were such a sacred conversation, why were there other people there with Trump? Was it supposed to be only sacred for the widow who was with her family at the time the call came?
    Also
    What else does Kelly tell Trump to say?
    I am VERY disappoint you utterly missed that second bit

    • Boscoe

      And the VERY MOST IMPORTANTEST QUESTION OF ALL: “When Kelly puts the words in trump’s mouth, is his hand up his ass working the controls?”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        No, that’s Trump’s hand up Kelly’s ass. It’s Putin’s ass up Trump’s ass.

    • Bebecca

      Sorry Donald, there is no president/constituent confidentiality.

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Man, watched the full interview with Rep. Wilson on CNN – she’s a class act. Positive, effusive and gracious — advocating for her constituents and causes despite the best attempts of the anchor to goad her into the pettiness of this White House. This will not end well for Kelly or Trump or any of that cabal.

  • Miles Monroe
  • BreakingDeadMen

    The only thing Sanders has a poorer understanding of the real meaning of than the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the Constitution of the United States of America.

  • Queens Lawyer

    All I can think is that in fox ‘news’ and RWNJ land this whole story comes out as ‘democrats use death of a soldier to make partisan attack on general and president’. and the video proving kelly is a liar never sees the light of day.
    In addition the whole ‘kelly confirms what trump is alleged to have said is true’ comes out as ‘kelly confirmed that trump was telling the truth’
    Im sure there will be plenty of videos of “Sanders slaps down lefties trying to smear general’ on youtube as well.
    a week from now, its just another example of ‘democrats are the real liars.’ to the rwnj.
    how can we break this cycle?

    • Lambsendbeds

      Sledgehammer?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Remember yesterday morning when Trump accused the FBI of treason? Yeah, that was just yesterday.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Kick Bernie Sanders in the slats and tell him to stop being a putz?

  • TundraGrifter

    Four stars? Let’s talk about a couple of fucking 5-star generals. In his Memoirs, Gen. U.S. Grant said he would always regret the final charge at Cold Harbor. On the morning of D-Day, 1944, Gen. Eisenhower had in his pocket a statement accepting full personal responsibility for the failure of the invasion. BAM!

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Kelly probably would have had a letter in his pocket blaming Montgomery.

  • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

    Dear general Kelly,

    Every thing your boss touches with his syphilitic shitgibbon paws gets smeared with his effluvia. You are no exception. I understand that you’re there to keep him from pushing the red button. It does not follow that you have to signify every hamfisted, cruel and idiotic thing he does, however.

    Signed,

    sad and angry Sparklepony

  • Begin Anew Day

    Oh man! GoodGawdAlmighty! What’s that stink? Did the zoo dump the sweepings from the Hippo habitat here? Did donnie crop dust the place?

    Oh. I see now. It looks like the milk of human kindness that has been poured out for John Kelly has SPOILED. People like me have been cutting the guy some slack. He served the country. He lost a son in the Forever War. People had said nice things about him. I had hoped that he might be a force for decency in the snake pit that donnie has made of the White House. Yeah I was wrong about him.

    Don’t worry General Kelly. I also like that I now know where I stand with you. There’s no need to waste good compassion on you anymore. I can use that scarce commodity on someone who NEEDS it. That sure ain’t you. Thanks for the heads up!

  • Rocky E

    She has hundreds of hats and wears a different one daily to honor her Grandmother.
    Woot.

  • BMW

    I am at least glad we live in a world where CNN’s chyron writers are still capable of such world-class shade throwing.
    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/hucksanders.jpg

    • Chyron HR

      Still saying “wrong claims” instead of “lies”, though.

    • miss_grundy

      They need to stop using euphemisms and call it what it is–LIE.

  • andyshelt

    Asked by reporters on Capitol Hill if the Trump administration had been forthcoming about the attack, McCain, who chairs the Senate armed services committee, replied: “Of course not.”

    So I assume the GOP will now be all over this like they were over Benghazi and will be scheduling endless hearings and investigations starting in 3….2…..1…..

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8546f78df10bf4ba14739d88ca44f021bc2fbe82c36601623ecdf957f1577e74.gif

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/oct/20/donald-trump-niger-ambush-frederica-wilson

    • RugzYaBurnt

      Hey, if those Gold Star families wanted justice for their fallen loved ones, said loved ones should’ve had the consideration to be killed whilst a blah was President and a Hilldebeast the SoS.

  • Stulexington

    The Trump doctrine: the best defense is being offensive.

  • Nephilim

    Kelly is a Trump shill. Some say he has lost credibility. But he lost any credibility he had the minute he agreed to work for Trump.

  • miss_grundy

    For those who would like to see Rep. Frederica Wilson’s speech in full:

    http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/94925992-132.html

    • cmd resistor

      It was a great speech and kelly should seriously be embarassed and ashamed.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        His shame gland was surgically removed when he took this baby-sitting job.

  • Ryan Thomas

    After watching the entire video of the Congresswoman’s speech I’m astonished and SO pissed off. I semi-respected Kelly, until today. He just straight-up LIED about this woman in an obvious effort to defend his mentally ill idiot boss. Disgusting. The fact that Sanders then questioned the propriety of a reporter who called bullshit on Kelly’s obvious lie ads insult to injury. Congresswoman Wilson should file defamation lawsuit against Kelly. Even though she is a public figure, Kelly’s lie was so extremely contrary to the verifiable facts that a jury could easily infer “actual malice” against the Congresswoman.

  • Apple Scruff

    Oh she is so my new favorite, I’m so glad I watched this local news interview. Because about an hour ago, I watched Sarah Sanders speech and got so depressed at the lies and defamation. Nice to see Rep Wilson brush it off and laugh.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/iwvuPyfi7z14I/giphy.gif

  • Me not sure

    Dear Sarah,
    Kelly is not a “4 star Marine Corps general”. He used to be. He is now a hack political appointee in a constitutional democracy. He is chief of staff to the worst person ever to hold the office of POTUS. He made that choice, and fuck yes he can be questioned whenever he chooses to defame a member of Congress and mislead the people he ostensibly serves.
    Your’s in spittle and rage,
    Me
    P.S. THY SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS! Look it up.

  • Bebecca

    So here is what I want to know
    Did Kelly make up that outrageous statement or did trump give him that story to tell? Whatever, general, you just lost your credibility with most of the American people.

    • HooverVilles

      …you just lost your credibility with most of the American people.

      Unfortunately, he did not lose credibility with the Trumpers who will show up in large numbers at their polling places.

      I sure hope the democrats show up in large numbers at their polling places on 2018, 2020 and beyond.

      Otherwise, ugh!

    • Toledo Window Box

      Kelly said he was there at the building dedication.

      So, either he remembered it really poorly, or he just lied about it in a really despicable fashion. Either way, it reflects very badly on him.

      • theCryptofishist

        Let’s be kind, and say that he went on a three-day bender after the ceremony and doesn’t remember if he jerked off into a potted plant, or puked all over it.

  • sillyclucker

    Trump’s chief of staff is a liar ? Who’d a thunk it ? (Me.)

    • HooverVilles

      Trump’s ____*______is a liar ? Who’d a thunk it ? (Me.)
      * = fill in position/name

    • Toledo Window Box

      Don’t you dare call that liar that just lied a liar!

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
  • Stulexington

    Daily reminder, Kelly isn’t the sane one, he’s the least insane one.

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    Nice job, Donnie and John and Sarah. You’re so full of shit even CNN has noticed.

  • Hither and Yawn

    I know Cillizza is occasionally the focus of the Wonketariat’s wrath, but this is spot on:

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/20/politics/sarah-sanders-john-kelly-press/index.html

    • JCfromNC

      Stopped clock, etc.

      • Toledo Window Box

        It was so obvious, even Cilizza could see it.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Fun fact: a stopped clock is wrong 86,398 times a day.

    • Shibusa

      They say even a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while.

    • La Cieca

      It’s just the windup for “there was this one time when Hillary misstated something but within five minutes apologized and the two things are exactly the same.”

  • 52camellias

    Rep. Frederica Wilson had me once I realized she was color-coordinating her cowboy hats. Really wish she would file suit(s) for slander but it sounds like she’s too classy for that. Sigh.

    • Toledo Window Box

      The best approach for her is to take the highest possible road.

      • Stulexington

        And laugh at their stupidity as she sets the record straight. If there’s one thing that will drive them to greater and greater acts of stupidity, it’s her laughing at them.

        • Toledo Window Box

          A brilliant, eloquent black woman with a strong fashion sense. Their heads are exploding.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    “As Gen. Kelly pointed out, if you’re able to make a sacred act like honoring American heroes about yourself, you’re an empty barrel.” That statement seems like an apt description of someone. I wonder who…. Whoever it is, they must be an F’ing moron. :)

  • theCryptofishist

    So, is “doubling down even more” tripling down? Quadrupling down?

    • Stulexington

      Quadrupling I’d say.

    • phoenix00

      Exponentially.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The operative word is “down”.

      • theCryptofishist

        So, I vote that up.

  • Mike Steele

    Yo, Fred, you’re our left-wing Dave Clarke Five! Just keep on talkin’ and releasing those very explanatory videos. ATTN Trumpanzees: ‘Fake News’ = Trump videos. Every single fucking thing that embarrasses, demeans or contradicts him comes out of his own filthy, pouting, lying mouth. MSM does not invent these things; they simply let the cameras roll while your trailer trash hero rants on. Ponder that, for a moment, while you wait for the washer to cycle.

  • Serolf Divad

    I had my doubts at first, but congresswoman Wilson is now my favorite politician! When can she run for one of Florida’s Senate seats?

  • Fennec

    The only thing Kelly could legitimately criticize about Wilson is her hats. She needs a WNTW intervention. Otherwise she’s a wonderful public servant.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Needless to say, Kelly left that criticism to someone who is standing inside a glass house with a stone in his hand.

      https://twitter.com/petridishes/status/921373610769633282

      Tune in next week when Republicans will probably make fun of her for wearing red baseball caps.

      • SeeTrain65

        I guess the white hats are for the stupid now.

      • phoenix00

        And making up fake medals and plaudits is NOT “whacky”? That’s putting it mildly.

      • Shibusa
        • sarafina

          Is he running for office in North Korea??

          • John Lo

            I do believe I see the medal for the “Royal Order of Nincompoops” mixed in there.

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          The literal picture of mental illness.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Jesus…rocks have more self awareness. This irony meter goes to 11.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        I responded that he was clearly just envious because she looked better in her outfit than he ever looked wearing his pieces of Applebee’s flair.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        At least she’s not grifting from her office by selling the hats to ignorant dipshits.

      • george lastrapes

        Who wore it better? Not the same as, who wore it with more flair?

    • Penny Blumberg Wolf

      The hats are apparently her style statement. They don’t bother me. BUT, as a person with lupus, who knows that many women of color have the disease, I wouldn’t be surprised if the hats serve a purpose. People with lupus often cannot tolerate the sun.) And if you have to wear hats, they might as make a statement.

  • John Lo

    Make me some sort of a “god for a day,” so I can make Trump, Kelly and all trumpets memorize this essay.
    (And I love the hats)

  • bubba
  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Fucks Gnus broadcasts Wilson’s actual speeech in 3, 2, 1 … hahahahaha! I kill myself sometimes!

  • george lastrapes

    Auto-da-fe, anyone? The theatricality, the public immolation, the affirmation of an irrational faith, the cruelty. We’re about half-way back to barbarism.

  • george lastrapes

    General Kelly: we expect better of you, the Leader of the Free World.

Previous articleAll Hail The Sacred MAGA Hat, Object Of Religious Devotion, No, Really
Next articleMeet Tom Price’s Wife Betty. Betty Is An Elected Official, And Also An Asshole.