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Let’s get this straight: George Bush was still a terrible president. But with Donald Trump having in just nine months seized the trophy for “Worst President Ever” (after which he tried to sell it to Russia as a golden samovar), ol’ GWB is looking downright tolerable by comparison. Which is why editorials are falling all over themselves to praise W’s speech today at the George W. Bush Institute, where he said things in this country are getting damned weird. He never named the current president, but there was plenty that sounded like it just might have something to do with the current occupant of the White House (when he’s not off at one of his golf resorts) and his Online Flying Monkey Brigade:

Bigotry seems emboldened. Our politics seems more vulnerable to conspiracy theories and outright fabrication.

There are some signs that the intensity of support for democracy itself has waned […]

We have seen our discourse degraded by casual cruelty. At times, it can seem like the forces pulling us apart are stronger than the forces binding us together. Argument turns too easily into animosity. Disagreement escalates into dehumanization. Too often, we judge other groups by their worst examples while judging ourselves by our best intentions — forgetting the image of God we should see in each other.

We’ve seen nationalism distorted into nativism — forgotten the dynamism that immigration has always brought to America.

Now, it’s certainly possible to spin that as an attack on “extremism on any side,” but there aren’t a hell of a lot of lefty folks demonizing immigrants or going full-goosestepping nationalist. And Bush surely had Trumpian “populists” like Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller in mind in his subsequent comments, too. He doesn’t have to say “America First” — or remind us it was the slogan of genuine Nazi apologists — to make the point:

We have seen the return of isolationist sentiments – forgetting that American security is directly threatened by the chaos and despair of distant places, where threats such as terrorism, infectious disease, criminal gangs and drug trafficking tend to emerge.

Mercy, the man even talked about the Russian attack on the 2016 election and said we have to resist the efforts of Russia at “turning Americans against each other.” After all, that’s one job we don’t need to outsource, since Frank Luntz wrote the GOP style book.

We don’t have any illusions that George W. Bush is a beacon of decency and purity. It’s remarkably easy to recall exactly why he isn’t:

But this speech wasn’t for us damn liberals anyway. It was for the 40% of Americans (the Republican ones) who don’t hate GWB and who are wondering just what the hell happened to their party when the screeching rageweasels took over. You don’t have to love Dubya to recognize that as awful as he was, he was, to turn P.J. O’Rourke’s assessment of Hillary Clinton around, “wrong about absolutely everything,” but at least he was “wrong within normal parameters.” We’d far rather be making fun of a George Bush than a Donald Trump, thanks.

And now it is your OPEN THREAD.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money and we’ll try not to be so darn divisive.

[Politico transcript of GWB speech / WaPo]

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  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
    • BearGHAZI

      Love how Mueller is just a kitty cat without any overt political commentary. Here, puss puss!

      • ariel_gee_398

        Because Sessions is supposed to wake up and chase him away?

    • armed_bears

      What a tool. The alt-right’s Rembrandt.

      • BearGHAZI

        Jon McNaughton LIBELZ

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      It’s no Orgy Island.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Love how, in typical R-projection, you could substitute just about anyone who works in or for the current White House for any of the robber-figures here and it would work. Jared subs for Hillz. Mnuchin for Billz. ANYBODY for Bamz and Holder and Comey. It all works.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        How could you tell who was who? They are wearing masks.

    • proudgrampa

      It’s not even funny…

    • bupkus231

      This fuckin’ fuckhead ( Ben Garrison ) is fucked in the head.

      So, I assume he’s “self-published”?

    • Creepoman

      Cool story bro, but what’s up with Hillz’ big toe?

    • Michael Smith

      I love how this is the new Republican story – that Trump is trying to drain the swamp but Sessions refuses to prosecute all those horrible crimes that Fox says Hillary and Obama committed and so Trump is getting backstabbed by his own appointee.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Obama is stealing a big back of treason? But why? Like why are they all stealing big bags of whatever it is they’re apparently totes guilty of? And is Comey sneaking into the yard with his big bag of stolen cover up, or is he waiting for his accomplices to quit grinning at the camera and get into the getaway care?

    • Ωbjectifier

      What’s up with Hillz left foot?

      • ariel_gee_398

        She currently has a broken toe/is dying, so I guess it’s meant to show this is still going on.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      I see projection is the only brush left in his paint box.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Ben Garrison is to political cartooning what William McGonagall was to poetry.

  • SDGeoff3

    It’s amazing what has become normal and acceptable in such a short time.
    Sigh…

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    I am reaching the fucking end of my fucking rope. Bush was a total schmuck. Trump is a schmuck with a loose cannon fucking mouth. Started with fucking Reagan and went forth. Fuck Trump, fuck the Republicans fuck fuck fuck

    • Creepoman

      Should have scrolled down before I typed essentially the same screed. Jinx!

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        I understand completely. I am walking around like a zombie wanting to smash something. (with votes)

    • Michael Smith

      Also, Nixon could have helped us all out if he had refrained from capturing the segregationist South’s vote for the Republican Party in the late 60’s, when the Democrats were doing a great job of letting that voting block (which had been their’s own for over a century) become powerless by ignoring them. They had to resort to openly racist third party candidates until Nixon welcomed them into the GOP with open arms. And then, later Repubs were like “wow, demagoguery really works!”

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Reagan and Bush at least had the good sense to maintain some institutional continuity with the office, Trump blew everything up and then acts shocked when nothing works.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    I’ve always said that Darth Cheney is the worst president we’ve ever had prior to 1/20/17.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
    • armed_bears

      I’m not sure what game they are playing, but I can see the count at this point is two balls.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Is it legal to post photos of a president online like this?

  • Lizzietish81

    This reminds me of the thing in I, Claudius where Livia is all “Tiberius will make Caligula his heir” and Claudius is all “No way,” but then she’s like “no, he will because in comparison he’ll be remembered more fondly” and then Tiberius DOES make Caligula his heir and Caligula is like “Is this a joke, I don’t get it” and Tiberius says “Not yet!”

  • CO
    • Lizzietish81
      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        I am glad they audience is taking no shit.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      HAHAHAHAHAHA

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      Btw, Removal of a Ethinc Group by any means inlcuding deportation is still Ethinc Cleaning, It doesnt matter if its violent or nonviolent

  • armed_bears

    Well said. This is The Thing To Carry Away from his speech.

    It was for the 40% of Americans (the Republican ones) who don’t hate GWB and who are wondering just what the hell happened to their party when the screeching rageweasels took over.

    EDIT AGAIN, LIKE LAST THREAD: Man, we are a tough audience.

    • bupkus231

      They may wonder how their party got to this point, but that’s because they’re just as ignorant as the screeching rageweasels.

      • A LITtle Annoyed, Yet ARoused

        And culpable.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          ‘It got us into power. Who knew there’d be a down side?’

          • armed_bears

            exactly so….

  • Aileen

    Funny how it’s only the Republicans who are not running for office any time soon talking any sense.

    • bubbuhh

      Only the ones who don’t have the keys to the Executive Water Boardroom.

  • Ezio

    As the saying goes, every blind squirrel gets a nut sometimes.

    “Dubya” condemning white supremacy is wonderful, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that he’s still a war criminal.

    • proudgrampa

      For what it’s worth, to this day I think Cheney (and Halliburton) was pulling the strings after 9/11. Dubya was just a mouthpiece.

  • Scooby

    I’m waiting to hear what Nixon has to say.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Is he speaking in the George W. Bush Institute for Presidents that don’t President Good?

    ‘Cause if he is, I know someone who needs to go there every day before nap time.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    He’s still a doofus. But I didn’t go to bed every night thinking tomorrow he was gonna nuke Tehran because they laughed at him.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    Obviously, given the number of 4-, 5-, and 6-syllable words in that speech, W. didn’t write it himself. What are the chances he even understood it?

  • proudgrampa

    Well, the day we start saying how wonderful Dubya is, that’s the day we fell down the rabbit hole.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Not wonderful, but he has something Trump lacks…I think it’s called humanity.

      • bupkus231

        Not sure this qualifies him as a member of the human race.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          IDK, I wouldn’t say Dick Cheney is human, but Bush always seemed all too human.

      • proudgrampa

        I can agree with that… Trump has NEGATIVE empathy.

        • Swampgas_Man

          Charisn’tma.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Now I’m imagining C.W.St.J. Nobbs as President.

          • armed_bears

            Discworld references always get upvotes.

          • armed_bears

            hard to say, but right on target.

  • Marceline

    Bernie Sanders is out of the Women’s Convention.

    https://twitter.com/HillaryWarnedUs/status/921116176545124352

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    But good on him still. Regardless of the idiocy of his administration, at least he isn’t staying silent.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Dubya is a lack-witted Silver-spoon Baby whom colluded in the rape and destruction of Iraq seemingly because this Monkey-pated Imbecile thought he could cause the Second Coming of Christ.

    But he still is now only the second-worst POTUS in history. Let us hope he does not continue to move down the list.

    • jesterpunk

      It wasn’t even that, Saddam insulted his dad so he had to invade and get rid of him.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Oedipus Rex is the urtext for many Presidencies, including the current one

      • Anna Elizabeth

        That too. I’ve read many combat histories of OIF 1. The big takeaway is found in “Generation Kill”, and in “One Bullet Away”, by Nate Fick, one of the Marine officers from “Generation Kill”. The US military tore down a modern nation, and then forgot to rebuild said nation.

        Many Iraqis *did* welcome US forces as liberators. Until days and weeks after said “liberation” when they lacked basic services and sanitation and were still being slaughtered by bandits or forces still loyal to the Baath Party.

        OIF 1 was a triumph for American combat arms, under-manned, under-equipped, and woefully under-supplied for their mission, they performed superbly and accomplished the tasks as ordered. But the National Command Authority didn’t follow through.

        Please, let no one here think I was or am in favor of Dubya’s illegal war, and especially the disastrous occupation that followed.

        • jesterpunk

          I dont think anyone would think you where for it. If your going to do something like take out a countries leader you do need more plans then “It will be fine” which they didnt have. Knowing history and where we went wrong is important for most people to avoid making those same mistakes again.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Thank you, that’s it exactly.

            And the combat histories make for absorbing reading. Besides the 2 books noted above, I recommend Jay Stout’s “Hammer From Above”, about Marine Aviation in OIF 1, plus “Thunder Run” by David Zucchino and “Heavy Metal” by then-Captain (US Army) Jason Conroy. Both are about the Tank units that hit Baghdad. Conroy commanded the M1A1 tanks of Charlie Company, 1-64 Armor.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        When I heard he was sending the troops into Iraq, that was my very first thought. ‘He’s doing this for cuz his Dad didn’t.’

        • Anna Elizabeth

          The sad thing on that is, taking Baghdad in 1991 would have been *easier* than the End Around that trapped and destroyed the Republican Guard. Bush-Prime’s advisors knew though that such a move to oust Saddam then would break the Coalition, cause tremendous allied casualties, and lead to generations of occupation.

          Oops.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • jesterpunk

      Ahead of schedule and under budget.

      • Michael Smith

        That’s true, but I’m tired of this kind of winning.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Is our Republicans learning?

    • Bobathonic

      And were they able to put food on their party?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    We suddenly find ourselves choking down a debate about which president called the most gold star families. But remember the original question Liddle’ Baby Donnie was asked? Notice he was not asked if he had sent letters or made calls.

    Q Why haven’t we heard anything from you so far about the Soldiers that were killed in Niger? And what do you have to say about that?

    THE PRESIDENT: I’ve written them personal letters. They’ve been sent, or they’re going out tonight, but they were written during the weekend. I will, at some point during the period of time, call the parents and the families — because I have done that, traditionally. I felt very, very badly about that. I always feel badly. It’s the toughest — the toughest calls I have to make are the calls where this happens, soldiers are killed. It’s a very difficult thing. Now, it gets to a point where, you know, you make four or five of them in one day — it’s a very, very tough day. For me, that’s by far the toughest.

    So, the traditional way — if you look at President Obama and other Presidents, most of them didn’t make calls, a lot of them didn’t make calls. I like to call when it’s appropriate, when I think I’m able to do it. They have made the ultimate sacrifice.

    So, generally, I would say that I like to call. I’m going to be calling them. I want a little time to pass. I’m going to be calling them. I have — as you know, since I’ve been President, I have.

    But in addition, I actually wrote letters individually to the soldiers we’re talking about, and they’re going to be going out either today or tomorrow.

    • willi0000000

      “But in addition, I actually wrote letters individually to the soldiers
      we’re talking about, and they’re going to be going out either today or
      tomorrow.”

      somehow, i don’t think the USPS typically delivers to graves.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Too bad he wasn’t so concerned about “casual cruelty” when Dick Cheney was going around advocating torture.

    • proudgrampa

      That goddam hateful bastard. There’s a place in the lowest circle of hell waiting for him!

      • Swampgas_Man

        Satan is rapidly running out of special places in Hell.

    • MrTusks

      Nah, that cruelty was formal and sanctioned.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Art therapy going well, is it?

    • armed_bears

      Art therapy snark is the best snark.

  • Daniel Hooper

    Today was payday, and as a constantly cash and sometimes food starved retail slave I did the only logical thing I could and bought scratch off tickets at the neighboring liquor store(in my defense, I actually left with more money than I walked in with today). As I’m scratching away, a pair of old men were lamenting how they couldn’t blame Obama for their problems anymore since he’s not in office.
    … I’m guessing they haven’t been keeping up with the news this week.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Marceline

    We all remember what W was. That’s why I am more than willing to let him make whatever amends he can. Welcome to the Resistance, George. I’m happy to have you.

    • proudgrampa

      Fair enough!

  • mrFawkes

    The Shrub was an abject failure at presidenting and speechificating. He was good at two things–throwing out the first pitch at MLB games and tossin’ out nicknames. I’d suggest Rollie Short Fingers as Shrub’s nickname for Dolt45.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      The fact that a former owner of the Texas Rangers threw out the first pitch in Washington always bothered me.

      • proudgrampa

        Yeah. He probably threw a spitball!

      • mrFawkes

        I was at an Orioles game in B’more 1988. I’m in line waiting to get some beers and I hear this Texas drawl from a guy yapping away with a couple beers in his hand. He turns to me and says aint that right. “Sure” i mutter. Had no idea who he was at the time, but I see him on the teevee one night with his pappy (who just happened to be my Commander-in-Chief, I was a jarhead) and it was the Shrub.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Wow. A brush with mediocrity.

          • mrFawkes

            Yes, Mediocrity is no crime, unless you’re a war criminal.

      • puredog

        The memory’s going, but, one of the time the Senators fled Washington, did they not become the Texas Rangers?

        • Eileen Besse

          Yes.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Yes, the 2nd Senators became the Rangers. What makes it worse, they told the DC franchise they owned the copyright to Washington Senators, hence the Nationals.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Good for Bush. I hope he has decided to be a better ex-President than he was a President.

  • Joe Beese

    Yes, that unpleasant torture business… Well, as Obama said, we should look forward, not backward. Yes, let’s think no more about it.

    Meanwhile, the 112,000+ civilians killed in W.’s war of aggression to seize Iraq’s oil are still dead.

    You see where I’m going with this?

    The enemy of our enemy is not our friend. George W. Bush is a war criminal and a torturer. The only thing I ever want to hear about him again is his prosecution in The Hague or his death.

    • janecita

      I’m with you. He is a war criminal, a liar, and a war profiteer.

    • I’d also accept a stroke. Unless it turns him into a scientologist like it did to the (then) remaining half of Isaac Hayes.

    • Suttree

      What? This doesn’t make sense? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGmfiKowrYU

  • Indiepalin

    Ten bucks says Bush, Jr. is back on the sauce.

    • AJ Milne

      Wouldn’t take that bet…

      (… but not real sure I blame him, either.)

      • Suttree

        If I was him I would drink to forget.

  • Creepoman

    Ok, another thing I hate. Why does the only valid criticism of Trump have to come from a Republican? It’s obvious to anyone that Trump is a proto-fascist racist bigot misogynist traitor, and there have been no lack of people claiming this, providing direct evidence, and drawing appropriate historical parallels that don’t end well. But only when a republican (a really, really shitty one at that) tap dances around it, without evening mentioning it by name, well, now that has depth and meaning. Fuck the itty bitty hand slap, and fuck every republican that brought us to this.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Because they don’t listen to us. Conservatives literally do not credit us with actual opinions that are meant to help, and think we’re just trying to get them into a trap or something. It’s only when it comes from within their own closed ecosystem is when it might possibly, maybe, make an impact.

      • Suttree

        No true Scotsman blah blah blah.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Put Bush down on the list of “Republicans who are willing to speak out against Trump but are unwilling or unable to do anything of substance against him.”

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Thoughts and concerns, sweety dahling, thoughts and concerns.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Is it speaking out against Trump when you don’t mention him by name?

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    “You’re either with us or you’re against us” did a lot to contribute to where we are now. Bush’s version of nationalism was never uniting or democratic.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      But it wasn’t racist or dominionist. That’s the one piece of credit I’ve always given him. If Trump would have been President on 9/11, there would have been pogroms.

      • Suttree

        It wasn’t exactly safe for Sihks. Or for that matter anyone vaguely middle-eastern looking.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Sure. But Bush didn’t fan those flames. He spoke out sincerely against that.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I’ve never understood this. From my POV in the midwest, it was an attack from people who thought terrorist=muslim=middle east.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          Rubes will be rubes. Bush made good statements trying to clarify that it was terrorists with a destructive ideology and not followers of a religion. He didn’t stop everything, but he didn’t make it worse by encouraging it. A true racist like Trump would have cheered it on, like he did the fights at his rally.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Joe Beese
    • proudgrampa

      Christ, she doesn’t look a day under 45…

      • Joe Beese

        Life in the Fast Lane…

      • BreakingDeadMen

        I see she is trying out for the lead role in the live action Alfred E. Newman movie.

        • proudgrampa

          What? Me worry?

    • Joe Beese

      Lindsay Lohan is going from “Mean Girl” to Goop girl.

      The actress announced she’s launching a lifestyle site on Tuesday via Instagram. The new site is called “Preemium” and costs $2.99 a month to access.

      “I will give you access to all my exclusive content and tell you all my secrets and breaking news before anyone else,” Lohan said in a description of her site.

      https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lindsay-lohan-lifestyle-website_us_59529085e4b0da2c731ee675

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        How much will it cost me for her NOT to tell me all her exclusive content, all of her secrets, all her breaking news? I might consider paying it.

        • Joe Beese

          For $5 a month, you only have to hear half of it. In order to hear none of it, you’ll need a premium subscription for $10 a month.

          • Tishalicious

            Is there a Kardashian package??

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          $79.95 a week.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Her exclusive content?

        “This is my pancreas . . .”

        • Suttree

          “It ran away in horror.”

      • Suttree

        No one wants to know about your small animal crushing fetish Lindsay!

        • janecita

          Is that really a thing? I thought that John Connolly was making it up, when he wrote about it in one of his books.

          • Suttree

            I think it’s made-up. I wouldn’t invoke rule #34 on it though.

          • janecita

            To the Google!

          • janecita

            Fuck, it’s real! People suck!

          • Suttree

            Ugh. I’m just going to forget that you said that if that’s alright.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Used to be it’d cost you $1.50, and you’d also get Davy Jones’ dating tips and Bobby Sherman would tell you what HE’S looking for in a girlfriend!

        • Joe Beese

          When Warrant broke big, they advertised a 1-900 number where you could learn more about the band.

          $1.50 for the first minute, $0.50 for each additional minute… something like that.

          It was a more innocent time.

    • Suttree

      Jeez, I mean I did a lot of drugs in my 20’s….. but wow!

      • Eileen Besse

        Doing drugs like we did doesn’t do to us what we see with THESE harpies! YAY us!

        • Suttree

          IKR! I’m 40 and I still get carded on occasion.

    • janecita

      Thanks for that pic. It makes me feel really young, and I’m 40.

      • Suttree

        Me too also.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’m 44. :)

        • Eileen Besse

          You look 20 years younger than THAT THING looks…. Love ya!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ Thank you :)

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I’ll be 58 on Monday and even I look fresh by comparison.

    • Impatient

      But does that other girl in her Parent Trap movie look any better?

    • Eileen Besse

      CHRIST!!!!!! How MUCH “work” has been done?!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I don’t especially like or dislike her, but I do feel like this world ran a train on her.

  • Michael Smith

    That’s right it isn’t about trying to make liberals like him now. If he thinks that’s possible he’s even dumber than we thought. Its about trying to tell the GOP that they’ve let the madness of the right wing go too far.

    Unfortunately the Trumpists already hate him. Their memory of the Republican Party is that it was founded by Lincoln, then Reagan was president, and now Trump. Bush was a globalist cuck in the same world as Hillary Clinton. You know what their response will be to this speech? They won’t address shit that he says. They’ll simply say “Oh look liberals love Bush now, a guy they used to call a Nazi!! They’ll do anything, betray any principle in order to undermine OUR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

  • Aggle Wok

    Headline win! :)

  • Suttree

    When W sounds like a great orator in comparison to the sitting president, we are in the wrong fucking universe.

    • unionthuggery

      Yeah. I remember being embarrassed at his inability to articulate things well. I remember being proud of the fact that we had an excellent public speaker in President Obama. What I wouldn’t give to have a intelligence of even W’s caliber back in the White House. Every time Trump opens his mouth I’m filled with blinding foam-spittle rage at the absolute ignorance and childishness of the things he says.
      I understand if the rubes were mad at the smart people so they wanted to get back at them, but did it have to be a semi-sentient cabbage patch doll with a frontal lobotomy they elected?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      The ONE THING about W compared to the current occupant: I can hear his voice without flying into a blind rage. When 45 opens his piehole it doesn’t matter if it’s to say “Good morning,” I want to vote him with a sharpened vote and follow up with an entire shed of voterakes.

  • Scooby

    Don’t forget he gave us Dick Cheney.

    • proudgrampa

      NEVER FORGET!

    • ariel_gee_398

      That was Satan. Bush just promoted him.

      • Scooby

        I always thought he was Darth Vader. More machine than man.

        • ariel_gee_398

          A perfect example of not interfering with god’s will when it comes to life and death.

    • Suttree

      Someone needs to disable the interior door release on his man-sized safe.

    • whitroth

      Maybe we could get Trumpo to look MANLY by going hunting with Cheney….

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Cheney did give us one of the best throwaway lines on Wonkette after his heart transplant. By Rebecca, no less.

      https://wonkette.com/468135/vice-president-dick-cheney-still-undead

      “The heart is Mr. Cheney’s first.”

      • Eileen Besse

        THIS!!!!!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Who gave us the assclap.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Crazy conspiracy theory: Michelle Obama wrote this speech for him.

    • h4rr4r

      Michelle Obama libels.

      She would have the guts to call Trump out by name.

      That we use balls to mean tough bothers me. I have balls they are very sensitive.

  • Joe Beese
    • bubbuhh

      Dummies! Shame is not something one can catch like cooties. Mere proximity to an imbecile pundit like whoever wrote this twit will not cause shame to erupt on one’s body or from one;”s heart.
      Signed, Florida Man

      • Courser_Resistance

        Sorry man, you may not have caught cooties, but you got ’em.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      They forgot ‘comes from Florida,’ but they’re furriners so they couldn’t know.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Hey! Mar a Lago’s in Florida, innit?

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude
  • wide_stance_hubby

    I, for one, will never forget that the GOP got a second term for this critter by scaring the living shit out of the nation over gay marriage.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Don’t forget the ratfucking in Ohio.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Bill Clinton called that one early when he told Kerry that the 2004 election was going to be about “value” issues.

      Bush was more than happy to pander to that with his fucking talk of a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. He never meant it, but he did lie his ass off about it.

      Fuck that guy.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        I think I hated him more for not actually believing his own propaganda, but happy to cash in on it anyway, as if no one would suffer as a result.

  • whitroth

    oh. Dear. It’s heavily YOUR FUCKING PERSONAL FAULT, Shrub, and your traitor father’s, and now you want to make nice?

    Y’know, I read an interview, long ago, with Barry Goldwater, GOP Presidential candidate, 1964, given in the late 80’s, not long before he died, and *he*, who we all saw as a right-wing extremist, was horrified by how far to the right the GOP had gone. This was at the time of Raygun and Bush, Sr.

    And you wonder how we got here? Look in the fucking mirror.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Used to be a conservative has no interest in the private lives of citizens and government intruding into their lives. These neocons are fuckfaces (my new favorite word to describe the Republican fuckfaces). They want to CONTROL your life to their interests and standards. “Starve and like it. Have no sex or if you do suffer with all consequences. Don’t be anything but straight and white. And the rest of you are going to hell, sooner than later, we hope.”

      FUCK THEM ALL

    • Michael Smith

      Yeah, he was like Dr. Frankenstein in his later years. Even in 1976, he supported Ford for the RNC nomination over Reagan, the far right candidate. All of his old supporters were Reagan supporters now. They booed him at the convention and called him a traitor. One time Ford asked him what he could do to get the Reagan people to vote for him. He said something to the effect of “Nothing. These are the same people that got me nominated in 64. Once they decide they support someone there’s nothing that can be done to change their minds or shake their passionate devotion.”

  • h4rr4r

    That he lacks the stones to call evil by its name, says something.

  • Ninja0980

    2004, my now husband and I were a young gay couple in college watching election results roll in and fully realizing how many people in this country truly hated us.
    Hate that W happily tapped into in order to win reelection.
    He can fuck right off as far as I’m concerned.

  • Ergoetal

    Georgie’s Yankee sensibilities are now hurt, folks. Plus he’s probably mad that Chickenhawk Trump didn’t get to fight it out in the Nam, like he did. Oh, wait….

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Eventually Trump will be removed from office – hopefully in restraints. Then what? They’ll never get the stench of KFC, greed and flop sweat out of the White House. Might as just
    burn it to the ground, bulldoze the ashes and build fresh.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      It’s been done before!

    • Slamtundra

      Same thing for the country maybe.

  • Jennifer R
    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      The only weeping this liberal is doing is for the editors of the world who have to read that endless run-on sentence.

      • Daniel

        Hence his nickname “Mao-lly [let one hundred flowers] Bloom”.

      • Eileen Besse

        Hahahahahah!!!!

    • Nockular cavity

      Why are liberals supposed to be crying over some Maoist dogma, and who gives a shit?

      • Jennifer R
        • Nockular cavity

          So? Fuck revolutions, and all the blood-soaked romantic bullshit around them. Revolutionary countries almost always turn into reactionary countries. Examples: US & China.

          • Jennifer R

            On the other hand, kill the capitalists.

          • Nockular cavity

            Fuck your murder fantasies.

          • Jennifer R

            Fuck you for wanting to ever so slightly rehabilitate a murderous system so it’s infinitely less murderous in a way that you can see.

  • Viktor

    You’re doing a heckuva job Brownie

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    I don’t think Shrub was a decent man, or a particularly good man. I think, though, that he was sincerely trying to do his best at a job he wasn’t suited for and that was far beyond his abilities. I think he even realised it while he was still in office.
    I can’t hate him. It’s more like pity, for him and for all the people whose lives his incompetence ruined. And I have to give him props for what looks like an attempt at redemption.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I feel the same, I think that once Cheney left, Bush had enough humility to realize how totally out of his depth he was and how utterly dependent he had been on others to do the thinking. And that very human realization means that he’s still light years better a human being than Trump, even taking into account his manifold other failings.

    • Jennifer R

      I can hate him for selling an optional war that killed half a million innocent people. Plus the racism, and homophobia.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    OK. Change of topic. I just listened from end-to-end Born in the USA album by Springsteen (my first time). Amazing all that packed together. So, to continue, I am playing Blinded By the Light by him. Boy, did Manfred Mann mangle the words.

    • WotsAllThisThen
    • Anna Elizabeth

      That is one Hell of an album. It was my intro to Springsteen when I was in grade school.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      You have got to check out Darkness on the Edge of Town.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        You will not believe this, but right after you posted this, the local college station played the title track.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        OK, this is getting creepy. I went to watch “Arrow” and the episode is Darkness on the Edge of Town…………

    • Seek

      I miss albums. Listening from start to finish, not just the singles, was my favorite thing about old music. Now it’s just downloads and singles.

      Get off my lawn with your hippity hop!

  • HogeyeGrex

    Poor Turtle.

    http://media.distractify.com/1hQAXa/840×440/GettyImages-862049436-1508330993594-1508330996293.jpg

    Man. When your own closest ally in government (theoretically) gives you that kind of stinkeye, you can’t have long to go.

  • thewalkindude
    • Joe Beese

      His people ate that shit up.

      They’re not smart.

      • thewalkindude

        This was part of a Tomi Lahren tweet-something about “Find someone to love you like Trump loves America” 🤢

        • Joe Beese

          You mean tell me lies and then steal my money?

        • clubseal

          OK Tomi, I’ll let someone use and abuse me for their own personal gain, and then turn me into a festering sore that only vaguely resembles what I once was.
          Oh, that’s not what she meant?

        • jesterpunk

          So find someone who will dump you once you are no longer useful for them?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Bet when his back was fully turned to the camera, he blew his nose on it.

      • Daniel

        That’s not all.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Take it to the Ritz Carlton. They know how to remove those kind of stains.

  • Jennifer R

    Don’t rehabilitate W. He sold an optional war that killed half a million people, and rode a wave of homophobia to reelection.

    • Proud Liberal

      W set the world on fire and then went home to paint.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      FUCKFACE. (I am so articulate)

    • Edith Prickly

      The rot goes all the way back to Nixon. The US is still dealing with the fallout from the Southern strategy and the refusal to acknowledge how deeply he corrupted the government. Trump is the late stage of the disease.

      • Ninja0980

        Indeed.
        Trump didn’t come out of nowhere.
        The seeds for this were set back in the 60’s and 70’s.
        When the Religious Reich was let in though, is when the ballgame truly changed IMO.

      • Jennifer R

        Exactly.

    • Suttree

      The Lancet claimed over 600k excess deaths back in 2006.

      • Jennifer R

        See? An even bigger monster than I was saying!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    For Dolt 45 to be wrong he’d have to stand for something other than himself.

  • Ninja0980

    John Roberts and Sam Alito helped gut the VRA, one of the biggest pieces of legislation designed to fight racism.
    Now which person put those two vile men (and many others) on SCOTUS and the various courts?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Niedermeyer!

  • Crystalclear12

    I think that’s what I hate most about Trump.
    He made GWB seem not that bad.

  • CripesAmighty

    Mmmkaay?

  • cosmiccowgirl

    What’s amazing is that Bush sounds downright eloquent compared to our current English-language-butcherer-in-chief.

  • Jennifer R
    • h4rr4r

      What is this about half life 3? Do not joke about such things.

      • TJ Barke

        Half Life 3 confirmed for nazi.

        • h4rr4r

          Now is not the reich time.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          TJ, you are smiling in your Avvy, my Darling. :)

          It makes me very happy to see this.

          • TJ Barke

            That’s an old pic, actually. Also, I hate the way my nose looks in it. But thanks.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            You’re welcome.

            I hate my nose too. xD

    • Joe Beese
      • Tishalicious

        What is it with fascists and walls?

        • Daniel

          Who doesn’t like ice cream?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            We’ve gone over this. You can’t have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat. Ice cream’s right out.

      • weejee

        Crossed-hammers?

        • puredog

          Bag of hammers, dumb as a.

      • bubbuhh

        Teh bigger and harder teh symbol, teh smaller and softer teh dick.

    • FukuiSanYesOta
      • Jennifer R

        Love that one.

      • starfanglednut

        Omg, I love her.

      • armed_bears

        Can we GoFundMe a bigger bag for her?

      • Persistent Demme

        I hope there was something heavy, (like a bowling ball), in it.

        (Skinhead trash!)

  • altleftjohn
  • Look, I’m not a fan of George the Lesser, but, at this point, if he wanted to start that military coop, declare martial law and become president for life… I’d… I’d seriously have to take a few minutes to think about it.

    Fuck… at this point, if Richard Nixon somehow managed to escape the spiked dildo of doom pounding his rectum in hell, crawl his way back to his dead body, and zombie Nixon decided to take over… I’d consider backing him up…

  • OrG

    Yeah,W’s not as awful as tRump, but FFS that bar is soooooooo low.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    They’re ALL enablers. No one with four star insignia is going to ride to the rescue. We are well & truly fucked.

    https://twitter.com/BettyBowers/status/921123794193920003

    • armed_bears

      OK, and point taken…. But there is a little Bernie Bro in us if we fail to acknowledge that sometimes people do the right thing in difficult circumstances. The command in chief is his boss, but he has also sworn on his honor an oath not to support him if he does stupid shit… although that is a loose paraphrase.

  • Joe Beese
  • NotALiar

    Tfw G Dubs says “racism is bad” and is basicly a hippie now because our current president started a war on Twitter 7 months ago and we’re all dead and in hell but we haven’t figured it out yet it’s kinda like SPOLIER ALERT SPOLIER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT!!!

    the last season of Lost except instead of everything working out and everyone coming together and healing we just figure out we are in hell and there is nothing we can do and it will be like this for eternity

    • OutOfOrbit

      go on

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Now begins the Great Media Fuckening — “Gen. Kelly’s statement was very effective. He landed some solid shots that the Democrats, and frankly all the president’s critics, are going to have to come up with some answer to.”

    • OrG

      I got this.
      He’s full of shit.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Kelly’s statement reeked of political tactics, going on the offensive against Rep.Wilson. I guess there was little choice, since Trump’s cruel remark was indefensible. Still, they’re playing politics with a soldier’s death, and that stinks.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        He fucking waved the flag that was draped over his dead son’s casket and tried to shame us all into letting Donnie off the hook. Fuck him…

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Sure. We can start with why they feel it appropriate to continue to drag this out and cause more pain and suffering to Sgt. Johnson’s family.
      Then we can segue to why those 4 soldiers were there in the first place and why it took TWELVE DAYS to talk about it.

    • Nockular cavity

      “Er, what about the soldier and his family, and the reason we’re in Niger?”
      “What? Who?”

  • Joe Beese

    Oh, Bernie… you fucked up on this one.

    Sanders also noted that he has always voted in favor of abortion rights in Congress. But many saw his comments about the party as a betrayal of women, as well as of progressive values. “To be anti-choice on a policy level is absolutely indefensible from an economic justice, racial justice, gender justice and human rights standpoint,” Lindy West wrote at the New York Times. “And if the Democratic Party does not stand for any of those things, then what on earth is it?”

    To others, Sanders’s willingness to budge on the issue of abortion was at odds with his campaign message of proud, unapologetic democratic socialism. If the left doesn’t need to compromise on a $15 minimum wage or single-payer health care, some wondered, why give ground on abortion rights? Herman wrote that the accusation that the Democratic Party wasn’t pragmatic enough was “rich coming from Sanders.”

    https://www.vox.com/identities/2017/10/13/16469216/bernie-sanders-womens-conference-speech

    • Ryan Denniston

      True. But! I get the sense they people are stirring shit up for false equivalence given Trump (and I voted for Hillary).

      • Eileen Besse

        PUKE

    • Eileen Besse

      PUKE.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • janecita

      “Under his eye.”

  • memzilla Ω

    It’s bad enough people are trying to normalize Dolt 45 BUT I’LL BE DAMNED IF I’LL STAND FOR IT FOR GW SHRUB.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Kelly rushes off to prep the Fucking Moron for his follow up.

    https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/921111919007862784

  • Joe Beese

    Glenn Greenwald has been dismissing reports of Russian interference in the election on behalf of Donald Trump since the story first appeared, and the massive accumulation of evidence has not dissuaded him from his belief that he has been correct about this all along and the liberal news media horribly, hysterically wrong.

    Last night, in his most recent appearance on Tucker Carlson’s show, Greenwald explained why the news media has (according to Greenwald) published a series of wild lies about Trump and Russia. The problem was not, as Carlson suggested, that their sources in the Deep State were manipulating them. It was worse! “They’re willingly and eagerly being manipulated,” he said.

    The problem — as it usually is, whenever anybody arrives at a different conclusion than Greenwald — is that they have been corrupted. “They get applause on social media from their peers, they get zillions of retweets, huge amounts of traffic, they end up on TV. They get applauded across the spectrum because people are so giddy and eager to hear about this Russia and Trump story.” It was all so shocking to poor Tucker Carlson that the Fox News host, disabused of his naïve faith in the integrity of the news media, exclaimed, “Gosh, that’s so dishonest!”

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/10/zeal-to-go-on-tv-has-warped-media-greenwald-tells-tv-host.html

  • janecita
    • Ling Ling

      Won’t mention Cheney for fear of calling the demon

      • Fancy Meau-Faux

        Just don’t say it three times while standing in front of the bathroom mirror with the lights off and you should be okay.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      No, but you were still so many others’ bitch.

      • janecita

        He was big oil, and Lockheed Martin’s bitch.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Cheney’s bitch

          • Three Finger Salute

            Pappy and PNAC’s bitch.

  • Mavenmaven

    Hard to truly feel part of an open thread when you are imagining Lindy England watching you with a cattle prod in hand.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Kelly gets high praise for his defense of the Fucking Moron:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DMhrMlHW0AAt4wu.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      [Ian McDarmid] admitted, “I’ve been trying to find a redeeming feature to Palpatine, and the only one I’ve got so far is that he’s clearly a patron of the arts because he goes to the opera.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palpatine#Portrayal

      • Thiazin Red

        Hes right that the Jedi are pretty shit?

        • Joe Beese

          All I know is that when he’s telling Luke stuff like “Let the hate flow through you!” and “Strike me down!”, Luke has to be pretty stupid not to stop and say “I’m not sure if this guy has my best interests at heart.”

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Something, something The Hague, something.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Who’s a 4-star ass kisser?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DMh7nX7UEAAG21y.jpg

    ^^^^THIS GUY ^^^^

  • Proud Liberal
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Thanks, Hillary!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      CIA fronts don’t like publicity.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • TJ Barke

      Remember when google had the “I’m Feeling Lucky” option? I remember a time when you typed in failure and hit that button, it redirected to the white house web page.

    • thewalkindude

      “I’m not going to blame myself, believe me!”

  • Jennifer R
  • Bill D. Burger
  • proudgrampa

    Tomorrow, I’m doing this…

    https://youtu.be/1rmAi9XmlIo

  • Thiazin Red

    Kelly using his own son as a prop reminds me of one of the saddest scenes in The Thick of It where the MP has to betray his friend and the one cause he felt passionate about in order to support the party.

  • jesterpunk

    W being somewhat reasonable and Walnuts calling for an investigation into the Niger attack? WTF is going on here?

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/18/politics/john-mccain-niger-attack-response/index.html

    • Edith Prickly

      They’re worried about the Republican Party imploding on itself?

      • jesterpunk

        They both helped get us to where we are now and they both want to walk away without any blame.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Remember Bamz using the metaphor of the GOP-led nation as a car driven into the ditch and the GOP wanting the keys back?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Itself, no. Themselves, OH FUCKING YES!!

  • Jgb979

    Just because the current president is an incompetent malevolent dumpster monster of a human being, who is dumbing the entire country down with every breathtakingly stupid thing that comes out of his mouth.

    Doesn’t mean #43 should be excused for doing almost exactly the same albeit to a slightly lesser degree

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      To be fair, 45 hasn’t been responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of human beings.

      Yet.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The Overton Window has been chucked all the way into the next county

      • Bobathonic

        We’ve pretty much been defenestrated through the Overton Window.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Screeching Rageweasels is the new name for my retro, emo, techo-funk punk band.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      I like it. Is it punk, or grunge or should I ask Ivanka?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Ivanka’s not a fan … so it’s real.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ryan Denniston

      So on point.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      How I wish more people would listen to Mr. Khan and fewer to Mr. Con.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “Bigly seems emboldened as long as we’re at it.” I watched that speech, and within a minute, I felt calmer and less tense than I’ve felt in a year. Because those folksy mannerisms really ingrained themselves into you during those awful years. Bush was terrible, and so was Darth Cheney. How fucking terrible is Trump that we respond to W with fawning praise? He was no nothingism when you didn’t say no nothingism out loud.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Huh. I guess a busted clock can be right once. I’m not willing to go any further at this point.

  • Bill D. Burger

    And now for something wonderful. Bamz’ on the stump…..flawless, still.

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/921112511398727680

  • CO

    A Trump supporter who lies? Who saw that coming
    https://twitter.com/AndrewKirell/status/921128819230232577

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • Anna Elizabeth

      If every guy that claimed to be a SEAL actually were a SEAL, the Navy would have nothing but Operators.

      • Ling Ling

        At this time, I wish to share w/you that I, Ling Ling (honorable battle monster) was in fact the only person in the US Military who was not a special operator. And since I am the only one, that makes me special. QED.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          :) Yes it does. You are our special Ling Ling, any way we slice it.

        • CafeenMan

          Nope, me too. I was an Army mental health guy.

      • Suttree

        I used to install fire sprinklers with a guy who was in the Delta Force. He was the foreman on a big job. He couldn’t tell me about the missions he went on though. Top secret ya know. He was also an MMA fighter. I made it about a month before I packed my tools and walked off the job. I don’t give a fuck if you are a pathological liar, just STFU about it!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I hear that! xD

          I’ve had guys try to ht on me by claiming they were this-‘n-that in the military. I shut them down quick, they never can fake it well.

      • Wee Mousie

        My brother was a SEAL. We used him to keep the shower from leaking.

    • Persistent Demme

      Alternative Vietnam Vet.
      *eyeroll*

    • Ryan Denniston

      Wat! Fox Gnus?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • jesterpunk

      Stolen valor, sounds like the perfect spokes person for Trump and Faux.

    • Christopher Story

      Cloven Bundy and Joe the Plumber all over again. They’re so desperate for a “hero” to justify them.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    It’s easy for George Bush to talk goody-goody now, he’s rich and white and male and gets a generous presidential pension and he doesn’t have to get elected to anything ever again.

    • Wee Mousie

      Please God.

  • Hardly Ideal

    Nerdy OT, but I read some other article about how Trump’s business mentality could be summed up in “for me to win, you must lose.”

    Another line from Kill Six Billion Demon pops into mind (imagine it spoken in the voice of an old lady with a Yorkshire accent):

    Devils feed on human soul flames, Allison. Normally, we get it through pacts. But some of us… didn’t much like being bound. Over time, the oldest and most cunning-some among us found other ways. Myself included.

    We were born from hunger, Allison. Driven to grow, to spread an’ consume. And old devils… have only one way of lookin’ at the world: as meat.

  • memzilla Ω

    O/T BREAKING: String of SPAM Burglaries in Hawaii Prompts Retailers to Put It Under Lock and Key

    “President of the Retail Merchants of Hawaii Tina Yamaki… believes the thefts have in part been sparked by a Spam black market in Hawaii…”

    “Yamaki explained Spam has turned into a form of currency, typically for drug addicts desperate to make a quick buck. It retails for $2.50, so those selling stolen cases containing eight or 12 cans can easily turn a quick profit.”

  • Alexander Stallwitz
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Suttree

      Because blah. Duh

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      From now on, all condolence calls from the President must be held in Scott Pruitt’s soundproof booth, and all family members must sign NDAs.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Full fucking quote from 45:

      “He knew what he signed up for, but when it happens, it hurts anyway.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    torture Prez says Trump is a bridge too far.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • rosenbomb

    Woof. Yelling at the rape apologist on Robyn’s post got my blood pressure all high and stuff.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      it was good yelling though. Primal screaming is cathartic.

      • wait! what?

        Well, for the screamer. Winona Ryder’s dad held primal screaming therapy in their basement. I still say this is what made her a sweater stealer.

    • clubseal

      Too bad I missed that one. There should be no safe place for rape apologists.

    • puredog

      You mean Alienist? He may have been misguided, but I really wouldn’t characterize him as a rape apologist. He was just a little fuzzy on the concept.

  • reelreeler

    Fuck it all….Here’s the thing, the Democrats had better win back BOTH houses of congress in 2018…..And liberals/progressives/minority voters had better get off their asses and TURN OUT TO VOTE in that election. It won’t be won with Colbert monologues, or with Trump Tower protests. It will be won or lost with votes.

    • jesterpunk

      What about complaining online and on twitter? That counts for 5 votes right?

      • clubseal

        At least.

      • CafeenMan

        I need to up my game then. I think my complaints only add up to 2 or 3 votes at best.

    • eka

      we’ll still be allowed to vote at that point?

      • reelreeler

        That’s a good question. Democrat voters had better start caring about state legislatures….Most are TOTALLY dominated by Republicans, and that’s why congressional districts get gerrymandered in favor of the GOP. So as it is now, they can in effect make your vote worth less.

  • Jeffocaster in the West
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Yours?

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Its my daughter’s. Sheep dog and Poodle mix. Does not shed.

        • proudgrampa

          Nice puppy!

    • WIDTAP

      Does he double as a floor mop?

      I keed! I keed!

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        We have dragged him around on the hardwood and it seems shinier…..

        • Suse

          What manner of critter is he?

          • Suse

            NM – I see below. He’s very cute.

        • puredog

          Pro tip: Spray him with Pledge first.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Plays a mean piano?

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Well……actually the first name is more dominant. So tenor sax.

    • Aggle Wok

      With the cutest name for a doggie!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Not when you’re mad. One syllable names only.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • WIDTAP
    • jesterpunk

      Faux couldn’t even take 5 minutes to verify a guest before having them on? I am shocked I tell you.

    • Suse

      Hope he’s not related to Jeanine G.

    • eka

      “and I didn’t mean to cause so much disgrace to the SEALs,”

      somehow I don’t think it’s the SEALs that were disgraced here.

      • WIDTAP

        Look, Trump isn’t going to last forever. SOMEONE needs to take up the rhetorical mantle.

  • wait! what?
    • Ryan Denniston

      There are more than 300 people in US America? No wonder I am so unhappy at work!

    • Ryan Denniston

      “You can’t get fooled again.” Amen

  • TJ Barke

    STOP MAKING SHRUB SEEM FAVORABLE BY COMPARISON, TRUMP!

    • Paperless Tiger

      He makes it seem so effortless.

  • Robyn Ryan

    Gitmo. It sank us to the ranks of torturers and lawlessness.
    Thanks, Republicans!

  • Suse

    Is our generals learning? I think not.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I just had an interesting conversation with 3 of my white working-class neighbors about the people who stand at interstate exits in my town with pitiful signs about being homeless or out of gas, begging for money. They want the state government to pass a law banning this activity. Why? Because all those people are allegedly fakes and allegedly making more money than my neighbors are, which is a common myth that really pisses them off. They saw someone on Fox News who said so, and they all know at least 10 stories of highway beggars who live in mansions and drive BMWs. I said “Why does this bother you so much? What difference does it make if they are fakes? You can just ignore them if you believe that. Nobody is forcing you to give them any money. And if you think they are making a lot of money, why don’t you quit your job and go stand at an interstate exit in 99 degree or minus 10 degree weather for a few years?” But they shudder at the very thought of doing that, and the truth is that they just can’t STAND to see these people, it upsets them to a degree I don’t fully understand. BTW, they all say they are Christians and go to church every week and voted for Trump and say they believe in limited government. I think it upsets them to see these people begging because it makes them confront their hypocrisy, which makes them uncomfortable, but I’m not sure. Any ideas?

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Tell them to think of them as lobbyists. They are simply asking for money for their cause and instead of corrupting the political system, going right the people.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s a good idea, thanks.

    • TJ Barke

      If the panhandlers make more doing that than your neighbors do at their jobs WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT THEIR JOBS AND HOW THEY’RE VALUED IN CAPITALIST SOCIETY?

      • OrG

        They don’t.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very true. But in fact all of them would be able to live in modest comfort if they didn’t have 3 vehicle payments and maxxed-out credit cards and an arsenal of guns and an overpriced home security system.

      • Cat Cafe

        And, of course, the poor panhandlers don’t–they barely subsist, and sleep in a tent under a freeway overpass.

      • aureolaborealis

        “OH YEAH!?!?!? WELL … What about all these lazy, shiftless immigrants who can’t speak English and have nothing to offer except rape and cartel murders and who don’t want to work and want to just leach off the welfare system … and who are inevitably going to take away my JERB?!?!?!?!?”

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I unfriended a woman who wants them jailed. I think it makes them mad because the “not my circus, not my monkeys” concept doesn’t fly with conservatives. EVERYTHING is their business. EVERYTHING needs to be done the way they think it should be done. If you’re not doing it their way, you’re probably breaking some law, and if you’re not, then there needs to be a law so you can face the proper consequences. Gaaaaahhhhhhhh
      Even trying to get inside their heads makes mine hurt.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Well, it’s like all those people who support kids being punished for refusing to stand for the Pledge. Doesn’t matter that there is no law. Doesn’t matter that the schools know they can’t mandate it without the ACLU working them over like a dented tomato can. THEY demand it or THEY will scream until the last trump sounds.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I had a lifelong friend whom I cut out of my life because a man stopped us on a street downtown and very politely asked us if we had any spare change, and she turned on him in a fury and berated him for not pulling himself up by his bootstraps, as she did (she didn’t). She is a devout Christian. I was so appalled I had to scream at her to stop yelling at the poor man, and then I apologized to him. She was furious with me. I was disgusted with her, and we are no longer friends. I do not understand why these people infuriate her so much.

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          I had to let a friendship go a long time ago when my friend found Jeebus. She got quite judgey and we ended up nearly yelling at each other over abortion rights. I’ve seen her maybe a handful of times since then, and I find it telling that I went to her parents’ funerals and sent cards and so forth, and she didn’t acknowledge my dad’s death in any way at all. But she’s the “good xtian.”

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Wow, this particular friend did the same thing. She knew my parents for 30 years, she stayed at our house dozens of time, and my parents treated her better than her own did, but when they died, she didn’t bother sending a card, or flowers, or attending the funerals, even though she was living in the same town. So now I have to decide what I will do when her parents die, as both are over 90 and could die any day. I have decided not to descend to her level, and will attend both funerals, send cards, and send flowers. It won’t make a bit of difference to her, but it will to me.

          • aureolaborealis

            Yep. Being a “good,” dues-paying “Christian” provides cover for a lot of horrific behavior.

    • OrG

      My idea is that they probably always felt that way. Now they can SAY it.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        But I’m hearing the same thing from educated, middle-class people. The mere SIGHT of beggars seems to upset Americans to an astonishing degree.

        • Suse

          They’ve always been with us and always will be.

        • OrG

          It SHOULD upset them. It comes down to the solution.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I agree, it should, but it is upsetting them for the wrong reasons. “Out of sight, out of mind” is their general philosophy.

          • vivian

            Yeah. Big difference between
            “This is a problem we need to fix” and
            “I shouldn’t have to look at this.”

    • WIDTAP

      Don’t worry about the neighbors. When life throws the first pile of shit their way, they will crumple and die, unable to comprehend why it could possibly happen to them.

    • gene108

      Part of being a conservative is to value authoritarianism. And part of the value of being an authoritarian is to beat down on people beneath your status.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      It just occurred to me that maybe when they see these beggars they think, in the back of their minds, “There but for the grace of god go I” and they can’t deal with the fact that most of them are 1 paycheck away from destitution.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        But, even the “but for” would be the ounce of self-realization and empathy that would change them from their.. unkind ways… I think that’s not where they are…

        • Angela Ruzzo

          What I meant was that I think they all live in a perpetual but unacknowledged state of fear that they themselves will become homeless at any moment due to factors outside their control, and seeing beggars makes that fear rise to a certain level of consciousness that terrifies them.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            That I could see… Unconscious rage and resentment over that fear that is just beyond the edge of their realization…

    • SayItWithWookies

      They voted for Assmouth and they’re worried about their money being taken under false pretenses by panhandlers?! Please let me know who they are, ’cause I want to make them a great deal on some gold-plated condominiums in Azerbaijan they’re just gonna love.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They are pretty much every white working- and middle-class Midwestern Christian American I am acquainted with, with only a few exceptions.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Thank God I live on the west coast….

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Midwesterners can be incredibly miserly. I know two local people who still use dial-up internet because they get it free.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Free… cuz some company forgot it was still there and the 56k baud bandwidth is a sociology test to see how long someone will wait to see a page load…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Actually, they work for the local university, which still offers free dial-up to employees. I think you might be right – maybe they forgot they are still offering this benefit, and any day now they will cut people off, or that server will die and not be replaced.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Someone will notice a dusty old box with flashing lights on a shelf way back in a server room and wonder WTF this is, unplug it and throw it away…

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Punching downward makes them feel better about their own wretched existence?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Like the mega church beggars who live in mansions and drive BMWs?
      For what it’s worth, my ex, the cop, who was an angry bitter man btw, claimed to have found some of these guys with substantial amounts of money in their pockets.
      So what? America’s full of charlatins, scammers, grifters, and con artists, including the family in the White House. They’re just better dressed. If you don’t want to give them money, don’t give them money.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        My attitude, exactly. And if I occasionally give $1 to any beggar I see, then maybe it helps some of them, and that’s all I care about.

    • Suttree

      Down in New Orleans there was always this woman and her dog at an I-10 exit ramp on Poydras. 115 degree heat index in the middle of summer. I usually gave her a buck or two, and a couple of waters from the cooler. She stood there for about two years. Never talked to her, she just seemed down on her luck. It didn’t hurt me one bit. Those gawd-botherers are just assholes who wonder what that uncomfortable feeling is. It’s your atrophied empathy for other human beings.

    • Jonny On Maui

      These are the poor souls that walk among us. They lack compassion, empathy and anyone outside of their limited clan is ‘other’. They will not reason or debate, dogma holds their hearts still.

      They are the lost ones.

    • keinsignal

      We should remember that there are some in this society who *want* those people standing on every interstate exit, holding signs and begging for spare change. Not specifically to punish them, but as a twice-daily warning to the commuting workforce – don’t rock the boat. Don’t complain, don’t ask for more money, or a better work environment, or you’re going to be out here yourself.

    • Bemused

      Tell them that the bible says, “Nor shall you glean your vineyard, nor shall you gather the fallen
      fruit of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the needy and for the
      stranger.” and so you feel it would be UnChristian to pass a law banning them? They wouldn’t want to be UnChristian, would they?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Aggle Wok

      Irredeemable Garbage Monster

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Worthless as a bucket o’ spilt fuck.

    • Suse

      We can break non-commenting rules now?

    • vivian

      codswallop incarnate

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I think you have the wrong part of that title in ().

  • Joe Beese

    The Secrets of Isis… was the first weekly, American, live-action television series with a female superhero lead character (debuting September 6, 1975, predating the weekly debuts of both The Bionic Woman and Wonder Woman). In the series, Isis (Joanna Cameron) is the alter ego of Andrea Thomas, a seemingly normal schoolteacher, who transforms into the Egyptian goddess when presented with crises a mere mortal cannot resolve. …

    Following her acting career, Cameron worked in the home healthcare industry for 10 years, and followed that with a career in marketing for several hotels.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucAJ7r83JBE

    • Anna Elizabeth

      This was my favorite Saturday show when I was little. :)

    • Three Finger Salute

      Damn the terrorist group for co-opting the name — of a heroic woman at that!

  • Aggle Wok

    Any good news today? Was there some nicetimes that I missed, by any chance?

    • Ryan Denniston

      Our neighborhood bar opens at 11. Does that count? Also too, Trump’s $25k check was front page.

      • Aggle Wok

        I’ll give him credit when it actually clears. No just kidding, he gets no credit from me.

        • Cat Cafe

          And it won’t clear, either.

          • OrG

            Oh it will, but it’s not his money.

        • vivian

          Be funny if it bounced.

    • Proud Liberal
      • Suse

        They were calling him “my president” and other nice things!

      • Aggle Wok

        Huh, I guess the tractor pull musta been out of town. :D

    • Suse

      It might rain in California!

      • Aggle Wok

        That is EXCELLENT news. The nightmare squatting in Washington took CA out of the headlines, so I wasn’t sure how things were going out there.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      We can talk about this 9-year-old, who wrote to his favorite team, the Oakland A’s, to say how his baseball collection burned up in the Sonoma fires. The A’s, along with several other major and minor league teams, are sending him shirts, hats, bobbleheads, and autographed items.

      • Aggle Wok

        Well good on those sportsballers!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I think I’m soon to have a date with a cute guy 15 years younger than I. His approach was impeccable, and he’s already in contact and flirting. :)

      • Aggle Wok

        That IS nicetimes! Have fun!

  • gene108

    I think, Bushj, Jr is trying to clean-up the family name, so JEB’s kid, George Prescott Bush, can achieve higher office than whatever he’s currently doing in Texas.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You mean the asshole who stalked his ex and trashed her family’s lawn with his PenisUV? The one who endorsed Trump?

  • Upright Ape

    At least W didn’t puke into the lap of the Japanese Prime Minister the way his daddy did. That WAS pretty funny, though.

  • SayItWithWookies

    People are praising that fucking moron? And by fucking moron I mean Dubya, not the wife-beating, child-raping fucking moron we currently know as the fucking moron. But really — after Gettysburg, I really doubt anyone started remembering Antietam as the golden age of peaceful negotiation.

  • Raan

    SO.

    What’s the Wonketeriat having for dinner? I made the “my back hurts and I’m tired special”: grilled cheese sandwiches with homemade potato chips.

    • Aggle Wok

      Oh that sounds yummy!

    • Sophia

      I was just going to head out to the kitchen to make grilled cheese and tomato sammiches. The homemade chips sound good. Think I’ll add that.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        7 ounces aged cheddar cheese, cut into 24 equal pieces, room temperature

        2 ounces Brie cheese, rind removed

        2 tablespoons dry white wine or vermouth

        4 teaspoons minced shallot

        3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

        1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

        8 slices hearty white sandwich bread

        1. Process cheddar, Brie, and wine in food processor
        until smooth paste is formed, 20 to 30 seconds. Add shallot and pulse
        to combine, 3 to 5 pulses. Combine butter and mustard in small bowl.

        2. Working on parchment paper–lined counter,
        spread mustard butter evenly over 1 side of slices of bread. Flip 4
        slices of bread over and spread cheese mixture evenly over slices. Top
        with remaining 4 slices of bread, buttered sides up.

        3. Preheat 12-inch nonstick skillet over
        medium heat for 2 minutes. (Droplets of water should just sizzle when
        flicked onto pan.) Place 2 sandwiches in skillet; reduce heat to
        medium-low; and cook until both sides are crispy and golden brown, 6 to
        9 minutes per side, moving sandwiches to ensure even browning. Remove
        sandwiches from skillet and let stand for 2 minutes before serving.
        Repeat with remaining 2 sandwiches.

        • Suse

          Yum!

        • Sophia

          I haven’t been grocery shopping in a couple of weeks so I got bread, butter, Monterrey Jack with jalapenos & tomatoes. Good thing my tastes are simple. Argh! No potatoes!

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Vermouth in anything is my favorite.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Shocked I tell you, shocked!

      • Suse

        I’m going to a cooking class at 6:30.

        Stuffed Endive with Grapes, Pecans and Blue Cheese

        Fall Squash Risotto with Shaved Parmesan

        Pan-Roasted Chicken with Sage Jus

        Mini Apple Rose Tarts

        • Sophia

          Show off

          • Suse

            I will share the recipes tomorrow. Don’t be mean.

          • Sophia

            As long as you share. I’ve saved some good recipes that were shared on Wonkette.

    • Wonky Magoo

      An apple and a yogurt. The nice yogurt, though.

    • Jennifer R

      Leftover soup from the other day.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I never once made tater chips… I get nervous if there’s more than 1/8″ of oil in the pan… except for bacon… I’ll go up to 1/4″ of bacon fat in a bacon pan… but that’s my limit…

      • Raan

        I recommend either a Dutch oven or a countertop fryer.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        Tater chips in bacon fat sounds perfect.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Anything in bacon fat seems pretty good, if there’s frying involved… That old coffee can of bacon grease my mom used to have… I wonder how old that fat at the bottom was…

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Was going to cook, but today has been a bit of a swine so I think I’m going to go for Chinese food instead and drink gin.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I ate early, as usual. Brussels Sprouts with Garlic-butter sauce, Italian bread with basil in the butter, and some leftover rice.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Wow, that’s early even for this mythical time zone. Was it 25 or 10, to 4?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          xD Honestly, I eat my big meal at Lunchtime. Mom and I started doing that years ago because the evenings in Pueblo are so hot in the Summertime, too hot to enjoy cooking. It’s a habit now.

    • puredog

      After I made a fab fried eggplant cutlet thingie out of the NYT last week, I noticed a couple of people in the comments to the recipe touting the off-the-rack frozen TJ’s version of the same thing. So that’s up, with homemade tomato sauce from my own tomatoes.

    • Suttree

      Delivered pad thai that they refuse to make spicy enough for me.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Now, there’s an idea.

      • Cat Cafe

        Pro tip: get the fresh, fragrant crushed red peppers from Penzey’s and go to town.

    • Cat Cafe

      I have to go out for a business dinner, but yesterday I had the “Mr. Cat Cafe is out with friends and I’m JUST SO TIRED” special: roast beef and horseradish, lettuce and tomato on sour dough toast, and Ruffles. Too many Ruffles. God, I love Ruffles. And a glass of red wine.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Thawed Costco shrimp, a salad, and maybe Costco chicken noodle soup. My physical therapist busted my ass today so sore and not standing up a lot.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Those people are sadists.

        • Bobathonic

          I’m looking to start a long term relationship with one.

          For rotator cuff surgery. Honest.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          I had my first session Tuesday- it didn’t feel too bad the next day. I didn’t realize how sore I was until he pushed me harder today. It will help my back muscles support my poor degenerative discs, so it’s worth it.

          • Bobathonic

            Keep it up and good luck!

            Ps I think xray techs are actually worse, but those guys are all wham bam thank you ma’am.

    • mancityRed6

      umm. you do that when you’re tired?
      marry me

    • h4rr4r

      That’s a good idea. Still trying to figure it out. Fed the little guy, but us adults still have not eaten.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Gin

    • mancityRed6

      rice made yesterday with bacon bits and spicy pretzel pieces.
      don’t judge.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        I was’t going to say anything.

        Believe me.

      • Raan

        that actually sounds delicious

        please update me on whether or not this is delicious

    • Doug Langley

      Canned ravioli and canned beef stew. That I got from the apartment office when an outgoing tenant left them behind.

    • tomamitai

      Canned chili, augmented with some browned ground beef, chopped sweet peppers and half a jar of salsa, served with elbow macaroni.

    • therblig

      tuna burgers on kaiser rolls, baked (well, nuked) potatoes.

    • Bobathonic

      Un cuarto de pollo a la brasa. NOM NOM NOM!

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Sauteed chicken breasts in apricot reduction, roasted root vegetables and cabbage salad on the side.
      Hahahahahahaha no, seriously, fried chicken and taters.

    • Jonny On Maui

      I’m not sure yet however I was instructed to remove some ground beef from the freezer…

    • CripesAmighty

      Pork Korma over Basmati rice (day 4–smells ok)

    • Let’s see. Thursday. Weed and Pop-Tarts it is!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That’s one of my faves!

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Alcohol.

  • Sophia

    In this fucked up world you have to look for any little rays of sunshine & hope you can find.

    Calgary School Board Candidate Who Blamed “LGBTQ” for Terrorism Loses Election

    (5% of the votes)

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/10/18/calgary-school-board-candidate-who-blamed-lgbtq-for-terrorism-loses-election/

    This is Karen Draper. She seems nice.

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/10/06/calgary-school-board-candidate-blames-gay-people-for-terrorism-in-bizarre-rant/

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I thought all Canadians were nice.

      Was she infected by an American empathy virus?

      • Sophia

        Unfortunately we have them here as well. They are just not as vocal yet. Divisive shit is starting to show up in my FB feed. It’s not quite as rampant as you have over there. Dunning-Kruger Effect has not totally set in. My standard reply “Snopes is your friend”

        • Three Finger Salute

          I read the blogs Anti-Racist Canada and Montreal Simon to keep tabs on what’s going on vis-a-vis the snow deplorables. ARC is where I first read about her. “I hope Trudeau dies” she wrote on her feed. Is our childrens learning? Well, thankfully they won’t be learning about politeness from a rabid hater like Karen Draper.

          • Sophia

            Yea, I think it was you that told me about ARC last week. That was where I found her at. Thanks for the site tip.

          • Three Finger Salute

            You’re welcome. And happy Trudeaumania Anniversary!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Typical grifting conservative. Tried to make a few bucks through Gofundme, failed miserably:

      https://www.gofundme.com/4h4jz5k

      • Sophia

        I was perusing her FB page (can’t even spell her own name right “Karyn”) earlier in the week. What a hateful bitch. I heard she’s taken it down.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          Haha! I was wondering about. She keeps changing the spelling to throw us off?

          • Sophia

            That would be my guess

    • Three Finger Salute

      Wow, to lose an election in Snow Texas after blaming gays for terrorism really says something. Even con country in Canada’s nowhere near as bad as the hick states in the USA. Happy to see also too, that Ezra “Rainbow Chemtrails” Levant’s other nemesis (besides Justin of course), Naheed Nenshi won reelection as Calgary mayor despite a relentless hate campaign by the cons.

      Next on the list: keeping the “unite the white” stench of Jason Voorhees Kenney away, and Canada at large sending Sasquatchestan’s local milk boy Android Scheer a bigly yuge “no thanks, sorry” vote in 2019. Keep Canada Great Again!

  • Cat Cafe
    • Aggle Wok

      Awww, yay Kitty Kitty Star! I’m so glad she made it!

      • Cat Cafe

        She is so sweet!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      “Kitty Kitty Star” belies her kitteh’s past as a pole dancer …

  • Joe Beese
    • TJ Barke

      That makes me feel old…

    • gene108

      I miss the 1990’s. Things were a lot simpler for me.

      • Ryan Denniston

        No Russians for one, though we did have that fight in Iraq.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Well, there were Russians, just not in our own governmental panties.

      • Three Finger Salute
    • jesterpunk

      I used to have a stack of those cds with the free trial codes when I was younger. Once the time expired I would uninstall AOL, throw out that disk and install it from another disk and get back online for free.

      • mancityRed6

        I tried to quit them for months but they kept giving me free months. I finally had to just say “I’m literally leaving the country”
        I’ve never even had a GF that was that clingy

    • Ryan Denniston

      I lived through that! Hell, I date back to when you typed in programs into your C64 out of magazines.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        I’m with ya.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Me too! Some really good games were to be had by that method.

      • Joe Beese

        I hunted the wumpus and smote his ruin upon the mountainside.

        http://www.vintagecomputer.net/images/thm_creative_computing_Sept-Oct1978_cover.jpg

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        My parents came home with a C16 that used a casette deck. Our house was so technologically advanced we were like fucking mission control for Tumwater, WA.

        • puredog

          Tumwater? Ossum. So where are you defensifying these days?

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Spent my formative years a stone’s throw from Black Lake Blvd.

          • puredog

            Right, but that was then. Now? Or maybe you’re just traveling, and have no fixed location.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            The bulk of my practice is centered in North Central Idaho/South East Washington, though I occasionally make my way to Spokane or (more rarely) Boise. I’m taking a break from being a public defender, so I can be a little more selective about my cases.

      • John Oliphant

        VIC 20 Ruled, at one time.

    • mancityRed6

      it was using the free AOL to sign up for the free Prodigy with a little ad toolbar.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        We just moved a few years ago after 20 years, and found boxes in the garage we never unpacked. One of them contained a mailer with an AOL floppy.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’m going to miss AOL IM. Other than Clippy, Smarter Child was the only friend I ever had. I’d hang out with Siri or Alexa if they didn’t tell all my secrets to Apple and the NSA.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    George W. Bush: Enigmatic Savant

  • OutOfOrbit

    if “body language” is telling, what does it mean that tRumpsterfire always has his arms crossed now?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      It means he’s a heartless ghoul.

    • Aggle Wok

      That lying about a military family made his nipples hard and he didn’t want everyone to know it?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        just ewwww.

        • Aggle Wok

          Ha! I made you visualize his nipples!!!!!

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            and visualize my dinner a second time.

          • Aggle Wok

            I have a gift.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Maybe just keep that one to yourself at dinner time, m’kay?

          • Aggle Wok

            I can’t make any promises :)

          • Beanz&Berryz

            It’s his bra that’s grossing me out…

          • Bobathonic

            Well at least you couldn’t make us visualize them with bbq sauce!

          • Aggle Wok

            Oh god well now you made ME picture Alex Jones shirtless spilling BBQ all over himself. Uck.

    • Christopher Story

      I see petulant child pouting about having to eat their vegitables.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Crossed-Arms-on-Chest is universal and is decoded with the same defensive or negative meaning almost everywhere. It is commonly seen among strangers in public meetings, in queues or cafeteria lines, elevators or anywhere that people feel uncertain or insecure.

      http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap4.html

      • Doug Langley

        Fun fact: Helen Mirren once starred in some cop show on the telly. She said in an interview that she made a point of never crossing her arms because it would make her character look bad.

        As soon as she said that, I swear I got memories of her character doing exactly that on the show.

      • wait! what?

        I can’t speak for all the zaftig arm crossers; but it’s comfortable resting my arms on my belly like that.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      He’s pissed, as usual, that something that he doesn’t care about is getting him negative press attention, when he should be getting lavish praise for doing what he thought we wanted – calling the widow. He’s the victim, here, of course and forever.

    • John Oliphant

      Defensive posture

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Joe Beese

      Can’t McConnell refuse to allow a vote or something?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        If there is procedural fuckery to be done, the turtle will attempt it.

        • Bobathonic

          He has a certain set of skills…

      • ariel_gee_398

        He doesn’t even have to if Ryan refuses to take it up.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Yes, he can, I believe. If there is evil a-needin’ a leg up, McTraitor will be right there poking said leg out of his shell as soon as he finishes his lettuce.

      • Major_Major_Major

        And all signs point to Yertle withdrawing to his shell to refuse the vote.

      • John Oliphant

        Yes, he won’t allow it to come to the floor.

    • JohnBull

      Ok, I hate Uncle Chuck a bit less now. Just thiiiiiiiiiiis much.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Sympathy fishing of the evening: We are on day 3 with no running water. Well, not completely accurate—we have cold water in the basement utility sink. All toilet flushing, baths, dish washing, etc must be done via buckets from this single source, and if we need warm water, heating it on the stove or in an electric kettle. It’s like camping indoors, which is ok, but not so great when one has house guests. We are also on our 3rd plumber, as the guy that caused the scondary leak and our first attempt at a replacement plumber both demurred to work on lead pipes (did I mention we have lead pipes in some spots? symptom of being in a 400-ish-yr old house with lots of upgrades over the centuries). So, our new 3rd adorable and hopefully more reliable young plumber comes back tomorrow to cut out the length of leaking lead pipe and seal the leak. Then we shall (Allah willing) have running water again, except in the guest bathroom, which was the original problem leak that started this mess. After that, all the other lead piping must be removed, tragic to me personally, because it means ripping out multiple floors of walls that I just fixed and repainted, and also the guest bathroom copper piping leak must be traced and discovered (more walls ripped out). But, all that can be done after our guests depart. I say, home ownership is filled with these comples little problems that suck bank accounts dry and take many, many hours of sweat equity to correct.

    • h4rr4r

      Good luck. Pex is cheap and can’t be worse than lead.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      ~hugs~ I’m sorry for these troubles for you. I went a few days of the hot water being out intermittently, but at least I could still use the rest, and I don’t have to pay for the repairs.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        It’s funny, because when these problems started, I was th8nking, this is sort of like Anna not having hot water. Someday, you’ll visit me, and take the longest, hottest bath you desire. :)

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Sounds like a plan! :D Good Luck with the repairs.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i am still waiting to see pix of your ancient house

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I posted some. U not get?

        • OutOfOrbit

          sorry i missed them i miss a lot sorry

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            I’m in bed now, (and you are all here with me, bowchickawowwow), but will try again when upright.

          • OutOfOrbit

            R U a spooner?

    • Doug Langley

      Well, you got my sympathy.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Thanks kiddo!

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      I certainly sympathize. I almost had a stroke when the well pump went bad, then the fitting underground, then the septic line, etc etc. etc. But fortunately we could manage. My wife and kept reminding ourselves they are first world issues. It’ll all be over after awhile and you’ll look back and shake your head.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Oh absolutely! I tell myself daily that I’m lucky enough to have these 1st world problems. Can you imagine living somewhere where you’d still need to carry potable water from a distant source to your own home? This experience is frustrating, but hell, completely manageable and not really that difficult in the grand scheme of living conditions.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        We had a very old house also. My thirteen year old daughter was mortified when the plumber lectured both of us that “female products” of any kind must not be flushed. He went on to describe how the sewer line was full of tree roots, which were full of tampons. Ugh!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Oh dear. Ouch.

      We still have a piece of the dry wall in our dining room taped shut because the contractor the old lady we bought from hired from Florida (the asshole super’s grifter uncle, of course) “rehabbed” the bathroom by putting in a vinyl enclosure he found in a dump somewhere and didn’t fix the pipes. As we discovered when we ended up paying for the ceiling of the co-op below…

    • therblig

      you have my utmost sympathies. this spring we found out that our clay sewer pipes (150+ yrs) were broken in 3 places. the way you find out is that the utility sink in the basement backs up with the contents of your toilet every time it’s flushed. sometimes it subsides after a couple of hours…until it doesn’t.

      had roto-rooter try to clear it, both by snake and water pressure. all that happened was the pressure guy got the end of his hose stuck in the broken pipe and had to cut it off.

      had to have the basement completely dug up out to the street. while it was all open, we figured we’d have our lead water service replaced.

      no water, no showers, no toilet for longer than i care to recall.

      i have to believe that our neighbors were watching the work and thinking about what’s running under their houses.

      i will never take a normally flushing toilet for granted again for the rest of my life.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I am so sorry. Old houses don’t make life easy. They are absolutely a labor of love. Fix one problem and you are almost guaranteed to find more.
      I hope the rest of your renovation goes more smoothly.

    • Bobathonic

      Do they look like these guys?

      http://cdn.static.ovimg.com/episode/304586.jpg

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Almost exactly the same. Should I be worried?

    • Major_Major_Major

      Soooooo, I hate that you are without plumbing, but you do at least have Macron while we are still stuck with Mad Lord Snapcase.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I’m thinking the North Koreans aren’t gonna send bombs here first either. Yeah, all things considered, things could be worse.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Somehow I had not quite noticed that you lived elsewhere than in U.S. Amercia, but that “400-year-old house” part tipped me off. Four-hundred-year-old houses here were called “caves.”

    • Persistent Demme

      So sorry to hear of your troubles.
      Such a shame that old houses are money-pits.
      Our current house was built in 1993.
      We’ve HAD IT with old ones.
      Miss the charm, though…

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, my goodness! Plumbing stuff is the worst. I’d rather have to rewire my electric than deal with any water-related issues.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Our politics seems more vulnerable to conspiracy theories and outright fabrication.

    The president who found Saddam’s WMDs is shocked — shocked — at the level of fabrication in politics today.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Heh, good point. Dumbass ain’t the first fabricator of whoppers to hold office.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Don’t forget the dementia patient daddy had to babysit.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ryan Denniston

      His undeclared salary was not enough?

      • Bobathonic

        There must be more money! There must be more money!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Will probably go straight to bail for his son.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Ten bucks says they keep it.

      • Suttree

        It was in 2005.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Ten bucks says this news gives him a bump in the polls

    • Parakeetist

      Le piece de la merde

  • Jonny On Maui

    Damn. Who wrote that for him?

    • Paperless Tiger

      Obviously not the sort of closet Nazis that write Trump’s shit.

  • WIDTAP
    • Christopher Story

      Apparently they found out Trump is president

    • Aggle Wok

      Well that’s just the sweetest ever!

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Looks like a coordinated poop bombing squad….

      • Persistent Demme

        LOL!
        (The glass is half empty, isn’t it?)

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Awwwwww!

    • HogeyeGrex

      Pride pigeon?

    • Raan

      Don’t talk to me or my children ever again.

      • WIDTAP

        There are some who go through life with their beak in the air.

    • Persistent Demme

      Well, they are shitty nest builders, but it looks like they’re good parents.
      What a wonderful picture!

    • Wee Mousie

      And then they shit on your camera’s lens.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Never seen a pigeon with auxiliary underwing pigeons before.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Major_Major_Major

      I understand why UF was forced to let that racist fuckbag speak, but Dr. Fuchs reenforces why I am a proud Gator alum.

      • Three Finger Salute

        President Fuchs > Racist Deplorable Fuck.

        • Bobathonic

          I was led to believe there would be no math.

          • Major_Major_Major

            Im not about to try to figure out the html to do partial differential equations, but as a Gator engineer I kind of want to do so. Needles to sat the integral for negative infinity to to positive infinity w.r.t. higher education w.r.t. racism is zero.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I have absolutely no idea what you said, but I heard it in Justin Trudeau’s voice so that makes it OK.

          • Bobathonic

            There’s nothing under the curve.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Anyone need something heartwarming to watch?

    https://twitter.com/AynRandPaulRyan/status/921100886084120578

    • spangled

      you go florida mans (and womans)!

    • puredog

      My, that was delightful, and non-violent too! The extensive empty seats just added a certain something.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    The Date is on! :)

    He’s cute, he’s charmingly British, he’s younger. Let’s see if he keeps the date, it doesn’t always happen.

    • WIDTAP
    • mancityRed6

      just remember the difference between pants and trousers.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        xD For Brits you mean?

        • mancityRed6

          yes
          I had that difference drilled into my head the two years I was there

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I can imagine. I’ll remember, thank you.

          • mancityRed6

            eh, they’re both things that will be on the floor if you get lucky. just that pants are a little closer to the skin if you know what I mean

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I do indeed. xD

          • Bobathonic

            Nudge nudge wink wink

      • WIDTAP

        And be careful if he wants to see your fanny pack.

    • Bobathonic

      Remember, stiff upper lip!

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        And remember your Silly Walk!

    • OutOfOrbit

      break a leg, baby!

    • Doug Langley

      For the love of humanity, don’t say things like “I got these clothes out of the closet.”

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Why? I don’t get it.

        • Doug Langley

          Just ask a Brit what the term “water closet” refers to.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Uh, I am a Brit.

            Now, if you said “I got my clothes at Primark”, that’d be bad.

          • Doug Langley

            Doesn’t the term “closet” refer to the toilet? Or is my knowledge of Brit idioms outdated?

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Not in my lifetime, and I’m pretty much out to pasture now.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            I believe ‘WC’ is still in use?

          • Doug Langley

            That was my understanding.

    • Aggle Wok

      Woot Woot! Go get him tiger!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Damn you Brits and your sexy accents!

    • Lord Jim

      Best of luck and great happiness to the both of you. You deserve it.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        ~hugs~ Thank you Jim. I think I’ll have some fun.

    • Ask about “Bangers and Mash”. Always an ice-breaker.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’m hoping for a little more sophisticated meal than Sausage and Mashed potatoes, but thanx. :)

      • Cock Blockula

        And don’t forget Spotted Dick!

    • Ilgattomorte

      I’m happy for you. Enjoy the accent. It’s a lot like English, only smarter.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        xD

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Hooves crossed!

  • Doug Langley

    Got an email from another recruiter who has a “hot” job and my resume looks perfect. Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before, but hey, told her I was interested.

    Boss was out of office most of the day, and she was actually human when she chatted. I’m suspicious. Anyway, only EIGHT MORE DAYS!!!!!!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Knock ‘em dead!

  • Joe Beese

    Deadlifting 1,100 pounds takes a lot out of you.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9Y4o_BqC0A

    • wait! what?

      The compression suit was part of the problem. Kudos for him going double overhand.

      • Doug Langley

        He used wrist straps, which made the double overhand slightly easier. Still a real feat, though.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    So, not surprisingly, it was Kelly who directed the sham narrative about ICE arresting only dusky-hued criminals. So he is what we should have known he was. I yield to the Distinguished Gentleman from Balloon Juice:

    First, anyone who is not already shit would not work for Trump.

    Second, there is a load of rot in the General Ranks. It seems like every other day another General Officer from one branch or another is arrested or courts-martialed for egregious shit- here’s one being tried for raping a kid, here’s one having an affair with an enlisted man’s wife, etc., etc. Just read the Army Times and Navy Times. There is a lot of rot in command, and this is just the sex stuff. We haven’t even broached the whole Navy command scandals, including the Navy kickback schemes or the whole Fat Leonard stuff, and the whole Air Force being populated with religious nuts, and on and on.

    And then we go into the “warfighters” who were all hastily promoted during the Bush years and are all over the place pushing their bullshit. For every Mike Flynn you know about, there’s ten more out there. Our entire military command structure probably needs to be gutted and rebuilt from the ground up.

    https://www.balloon-juice.com/2017/10/19/general-kelly-was-shit-all-along/

    • OutOfOrbit

      ayeyup, seen this right off

    • Edith Prickly

      I used to hang out at Balloon Juice a lot. Glad he’s still going strong.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yo, wingnuts who screamed bloody murder about BENGHAZI!!!:

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/920965273670356992

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Four dead servicemen!

    • Lord Jim

      Will Gowdy Doody demand an investigation, screaming that no amount of money is too much to pay to find out why four Americans died?

      Not holding my breath…

      • jesterpunk

        Remember when Chaffetz said he was proud to cut embassy funding while screaming about Hillary not funding the embassy security?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Trey Gowdy is all over this.

      • OutOfOrbit

        he is?!

        • Major_Major_Major

          Surprisingly, yes? I am sure he will come to his “senses” sooner rather than later.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Trump lied Americans died….sounds familiar.

      • jesterpunk

        “They knew what they signed up for.”

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “Trumpghazigate”

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    for when Cilnton haters on the left complain about Wisconsin:

    “On election night, Anthony was shocked to see Trump carry Wisconsin by nearly 23,000 votes. The state, which ranked second in the nation in voter participation in 2008 and 2012, saw its lowest turnout since 2000. More than half the state’s decline in turnout occurred in Milwaukee, which Clinton carried by a 77-18 margin, but where almost 41,000 fewer people voted in 2016 than in 2012. Turnout fell only slightly in white middle-class areas of the city but plunged in black ones. In Anthony’s old district, where aging houses on quiet tree-lined streets are interspersed with boarded-up buildings and vacant lots, turnout dropped by 23 percent from 2012. This is where Clinton lost the state and, with it, the larger narrative about the election.”

    A New Study Shows Just How Many Americans Were Blocked From Voting in Wisconsin Last Year

    The impact of Wisconsin’s voter ID law received almost no attention. When it did, it was often dismissive. Two days after the election, Talking Points Memo ran a piece by University of California-Irvine law professor Rick Hasen under the headline “Democrats Blame ‘Voter Suppression’ for Clinton Loss at Their Peril.” Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker said it was “a load of crap” to claim that the voter ID law had led to lower turnout. When Clinton, in an interview with New York magazine, said her loss was “aided and abetted by the suppression of the vote, particularly in Wisconsin,” the Washington Examiner responded, “Hillary Clinton Blames Voter Suppression for Losing a State She Didn’t Visit Once During the Election.” As the months went on, pundits on the right and left turned Clinton’s loss into a case study for her campaign’s incompetence and the Democratic Party’s broader abandonment of the white working class. Voter suppression efforts were practically ignored, when they weren’t mocked.

    Three years after Wisconsin passed its voter ID law in 2011, a federal judge blocked it, noting that 9 percent of all registered voters did not have the required forms of ID. Black voters were about 50 percent likelier than whites to lack these IDs because they were less likely to drive or to be able to afford the documents required to get a current ID, and more likely to have moved from out of state. There is, of course, no one thing that swung the election. Clinton’s failings, James Comey’s 11th-hour letter, Russian interference, fake news, sexism, racism, and a struggling economy in key swing states all contributed to Trump’s victory. We will never be able to assign exact proportions to all the factors at play. But a year later, interviews with voters, organizers, and election officials reveal that, in Wisconsin and beyond, voter suppression played a much larger role than is commonly understood.

    • jesterpunk

      IIRC there where something like 200,000 people who couldn’t vote in 2016 in Wisconsin.

    • TootsStansbury

      And then the murders began.

      • Raan

        Right?

    • Doug Langley

      Everyone should be shouting this from the rooftops. It was dirty tricks, not “bad candidate” or “economic anxiety” or other gobbledygook that swung the election.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Dirtiest election ever, and I suspect the worst of it has yet to be exposed.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Snot Walker doesn’t care about any people. Not just the mentally ill. Any people — except local corporate people.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    oh FFS: (sorry for the walls o text):

    Gabe Ortiz at Daily Kos caught this latest sickening propaganda being pushed by the f-ing moron Sarah Palin:

    A collection of right-wing websites teamed up with half-term nitwit Sarah Palin to spread a fake news story that appeared to pin the Northern California wildfires that have tragically killed at least 40 people onto an immigrant man who was arrested at a park in Sonoma, California.

    Jesus Fabian Gonzales—who “often sleeps in the park and is well-known to law enforcement”—was arrested Sunday after starting a small fire that he says he lit to stay warm, and one that “was so small a responding sheriff’s deputy was able to mostly put it out before firefighters arrived.” Gonzales was taken into custody without incident for one count of arson, but by Tuesday, Breitbart, InfoWars, and other sites were blaring sensationalist headlines, including one that stated that the “homeless arsonist behind Calif. wildfire that killed 40 people is an illegal alien”:

    Breitbart News and InfoWars offered no evidence to link the man’s arrest to the fires and their accounts of the man’s arrest were disputed the same day by Sonoma County Sheriff Rob Giordano.

    “There’s a story out there he’s the arsonist for these fires. That is not the case. There is no indication he is related to these fires at all,” Giordano said in a news conference also broadcast on the department’s Facebook page and area TV stations. “I just did want to kill that speculation right now so we didn’t have things running too far out of control.”

    Speculation from, say, Palin, who tweeted that “bet you not a single mainstream news organization is going to cover this story. Not PC or something.” No, it’s just fake, dumbass. In fact, USA Today notes that Sonoma County Sheriff’s Sgt. Spencer Crum said that “the only questions Breitbart News and InfoWars asked were about Gonzales’s ethnicity and whether Immigration and Customs Enforcement had placed a detainer on him, which would hold him for an additional 48 hours at the jail.” It’s almost like they have an agenda here!

    • jesterpunk

      The reich wing making up stories? I am shocked I tell you, just absolutely shocked. When will Faux Noise report on this story?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        assuredly before monday.

        • jesterpunk

          Just in time for Trump to get back from his golfing trip and turn on Faux and Frauds at 4 am and twit about it.

      • Wee Mousie

        Faux Noise is already reporting every made up story the Reich Wing makes up.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      Great. So now Dead BlightFart and the rest are running cover for PG&E, who look like the real culprits at the moment.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        They’ve been rage-fapping themselves to death over at Free Republic about this. For three days.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      But dude, he’s Latino. So he’s probably responsible for something, maybe. Best to preemptively accuse him of fire starting and let the rest fall into place.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        I *would* so they would change their minds about this whole every latino is illegal thing if they came down our way, but htey never change, never learn.

        And I don’t want them here. (But I’d sure like to see them question the immigration status of one of our many latino judges, business folks, and politicians.

    • jowgajen

      We actually have a pretty good idea of how the fires may have started. High winds in the day before likely caused multiple fires to start from power lines, transformers, etc. coming into contact with untrimmed trees. Or being blown over. That sort of thing.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Not a good time to talk about global warming.

    • Edith Prickly

      Well, I heard Sarah Palin and Alex Jones both farted at the same time and the trees went up in flames immediately after. It’s on the Internet so it must be true.

    • Edith Prickly

      Wait, I thought Tony Perkins said Teh Gheyz are the reason all the bad things are happening? I’m so confused…

    • mancityRed6

      it’s called “moron chow” ’cause the idiots eat that shit right up

      • wait! what?

        What’s even worse is when the sick it up and eat it again…

    • wait! what?

      #palin
      #reichforestfireliar

    • Three Finger Salute

      Some Christian. She blames Jesús for opening up the fires of hell.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    When you’re used to everyone giving you A pluses so you don’t throw a tantrum of course you would give yourself a 10/10

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-gives-himself-a-10-out-of-10-on-puerto-rico-storm-aid/ar-AAtJfX4

    • Edith Prickly

      Shurely he meant 10/1000…

  • Nounverb911
  • NorthernSaber

    “SCREECHING RAGEWEASELS.” I think I saw them in a bar in Moscow, Idaho, back in 1995. Or was that the place in Pullman that had the mechanical bull?

    • Major_Major_Major

      Screeching Weasel Libelz!!!!!11!!!
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vacBxnLocA8

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        ben apparently punched a woman at an Austin show – it’s hard for me to like them anymore.

        • Major_Major_Major

          He did, and it has been hard for me. I don’t condone his actions by any means, but one (huge) fuckup doesn’t make him an Ian Stuart or Lee Ving.

  • Nounverb911
    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Isn’t it kinda amazing that the cannon really, really, really does and doesn’t look like Dolt 45 at the same time??

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Tweets coming out of the wrong end

  • Big Puppy Resists

    I need me some open thread. John Kelly & W have depressed me.

    A well-regarded general loses all perspective and doesn’t have the sense to quit rather than continue working with Trump.

    W gives a speech where he makes it clear just how awful the current president is and we can’t even accuse him of the pot calling the kettle black.

    Sigh.

  • Michael R
  • Zonath

    So New Zealand apparently has a brand new Prime Minister who is pro-choice, pro-marriage equality, and who actually believes in global warming. What went so damn wrong with us, America?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bda9b2f09984c1ac38dc33f5b50a5329965316b97cca0a0e6f367441e4fbdfc1.jpg

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      OMG, and with a vag? Will wonders never cease?

    • Nounverb911

      We aren’t in New Zealand?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Maybe we should be.

        • Nounverb911

          I wouldn’t mind being there for the next America’s Cup races….

        • NorthernSaber

          I don’t think the welcome mat is out for us as much as it used to be. Something about our President being less than optimal… Maybe we could offer to maintain that Hobbiton place for them?

          • Nounverb911

            Hey, they let Peter Thiel in…

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            We could teach them a thing or two about proper cooking of bacon…

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            See, that’s where you’re wrong. American bacon is stupid. I can’t even buy proper bacon here.

          • NorthernSaber

            Heresy! Blasphemy! Other words!

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            But that streaky stuff, while still bacon, and yes I ate it all, has texture issues.

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            Oh snap! Have we just started a Really Off Topic Debate?
            Ima need to get a snack…

          • grindstone

            I recommend oven baked brown sugar bacon, i.e., pig candy.

          • mancityRed6

            while there is a place for proper British bacon, there is also a place in my heart (and it’s increasingly clogged arteries leading to it) for the full fat of American bacon.
            and you need to find a Brit store near you. I can get good bacon just 30 miles away.

          • Last Hussar

            True. Proper bacon looks like South America, with a thin strip of fat as the Andes

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Thank you.

            All I can get is that daft streaky stuff.

          • NorthernSaber

            Indeed we could! There’s our first niche! And I’ll bring my horn and start learning them all about the genius of Miles Davis. We have a plan! Hurra!

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I have been trying. They don’t want me.

      • TootsStansbury

        Because if you’re old and ready to retire you need a ton of money?

        • Paperless Tiger

          They retire?

      • mancityRed6

        when we were set upon leaving the UK, New Zealand wasn’t even in the picture. she had relatives there who made their living renting out houses they owned.
        “well great” I said.
        she just couldn’t deal with them being about 10 years behind everything. but this was 13 years ago.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      New Zealand doesn’t have a parasitic rump nation occupying a quarter of its territory?

    • Three Finger Salute

      “What went so damn wrong with us, America?”

      The Loyalists fled north?

    • TootsStansbury

      Well, we committed genocide, wrested ourselves away from a monarchy by war, built an economy based on the enslavement of Africans; warred amongst ourselves over that one, enthusiastically embraced ruthless capitalism. For the most part of our history we’ve appealed to the bases and cruelest of human nature. We’ve had inspiring and enlightening moments for sure, but I’m afraid the lowest of these wins. We’re complacent, incurious and lazy.

      • Three Finger Salute

        And even worse: we got high off our own ego after WW2 and have more or less dragged every other country in the world into the vortex with us. Think of the unholy union of Reagan and Thatcher and the vomit-worthy bromance between Harper and Shrub. If Dotard crashes the US economy the entire world is going to go broke.

    • jesterpunk

      Can we throw Trump in with him?

      • Added to the roster….

  • Nounverb911

    Petit Upmanns, my in-laws carried a box of them in, (legally), for our wedding.

    https://twitter.com/EliLake/status/921131533917966337
    https://twitter.com/HistoryInPix/status/920986189498380290

    • puredog

      When it comes to corruption by today’s standards, I think that’s just darned cute.

      • Nounverb911

        He didn’t sign the embargo until Pierre Salinger had the cigars safely hidden away in a humidor….

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    I’m currently on the NJ Devils forum waiting for the game to start. One of the posts is about kneeling. You can learn a lot about the stupidity of your typical American by reading sports forums.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      You might wanna avoid any drinking games related to the word “kneel”. A public service message from the American Liver Council.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Those guys are killjoys.

    • Raan

      Actually, a hockey game is pretty much the one sport where I would recommend the athletes not kneel.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Oh FFS, the Win32.Trump virus has infected the NHL too? At least Canada is so diverse at this point, that for all intents and purposes the “national” anthem being played at hockey games is mostly irrelevant. Except in America. where it’s an excuse to boo and throw things at our arch nemesis.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Lightning player JT Brown, who is black, raised a fist during the national anthem. Now he is going on a ride along to see how tough the cops got it and he’s apologized. I don’t see the necessity in all that.

        • Suttree

          Some of these cops sound really fucking whiny. They probably should have gotten jobs gardening.

        • mancityRed6

          he plays a sport where they have knives on their feet and they carry big sticks. people have had broken necks and their fingers cut off in a game. I know which job I would rather have.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      If I see one more fucking comment to the effect that Mike Tomlin should resign because REASONS!!! (and we all know the reason they mean) I will lose my shit. As it is I had to give the fuck up on Yahoo! Sports FFS.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Sad thing about all this is that the right, as usual, was able to successfully hijcak the narrative. Now people think it’s about the flag and troops, not about bringing awareness to racial injustice and inequality.

    • Bobathonic

      If it was about respect, they would close the bathrooms and stop all vending during it. Take a knee = Murica Hater, take a shit = Support Our Troops.

    • Major_Major_Major

      At least when everyone was griping about the trap it had something to do with the game.

  • mancityRed6

    despite a no good horrible bad day for her, my weekend trip is still on.
    and, a bonus, she has some stinky herb to partake in.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yays!

      • mancityRed6

        it’s gonna be good.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I’m happy for you. You are a good man, you deserve to have it good.

      • mancityRed6

        someday, I’ll even meet her kids.
        I’ve already met the rest of her family.

  • JD Mulvey
    • mancityRed6

      this is not the world I want to be in

  • BreakingDeadMen

    So, Richard Spencer got shut the fuck down in Florida with the heckling. Had to leave early an everything.

  • The Wanderer

    A couple days ago it occurred to me that, while I do write erotica and furry porn, I have never written any that involved non-mammalian naughty bits. So I wrote a story today that featured an anthro beagle prostitute servicing an anthro platypus. It required me to research monotreme naughty bits.

    • Zonath

      “The word monotreme comes from the Greek μονός, monos (“single”) and τρῆμα, trema (“hole”), referring to the cloaca.” (From Wikipedia).

      • The Wanderer

        Yep! A male platy’s junk is pleated, like an accordion, and has two heads (only the left one works), He’s a grower, not a shower.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          And just in time for dinner. Thanks!

          • The Wanderer

            Bon appetit!

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            I’m fine with tits.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I’ve been studying up on chickens ’cause we’re planning on getting some layers in the spring so I knew “cloaca.” Smiles. Is proud.

    • OutOfOrbit

      so you finally went there?

      • The Wanderer

        Indeed I did!

        • OutOfOrbit

          somebody had to, thus proving Rule 34

    • Three Finger Salute
      • The Wanderer

        LMAO

    • Rebel Scum with permit
      • The Wanderer

        Whatever tugs at peoples’ bobbers.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Moar liek Tyrannosaurus E-rekt, amirite?!?11?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        T-Rex don’t give reacharounds.

        Just sayin’.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    The GOP is testing America. We got Trump because W was accepted as a president. God help us what we’re going to get next. Ted Nugent?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    i don’t want to rile up the “corporate Dems” fight again, but what’s y’alls thoughts on this?

    “The Democratic Party this week plans to name 75 people including lobbyists and political operatives to leadership posts that come with superdelegate votes at its next presidential convention, potentially aggravating old intraparty tensions as it struggles to confront President Donald Trump.”

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      If it’s the list I saw from a Perez article the other day, it was pretty balanced overall with regards to both camps.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i noticed the language after I posted it, “includes” operatives and lobbyists. I doubt there’s ever been some leadership posts that didn’t involve lobbysists and operatives.

        The question is, and it’s not addressed, how many?

    • ariel_gee_398

      If the Republicans had superdelegates they could have kept Trump off the ticket, no?

    • jesterpunk

      So they will have people in leadership positions who know things about the industries they could possibly regulate? That sounds like a great idea really, look how well Wheeler turned out with the FCC with Obama. If your going to do anything with an industry you need someone who knows how it works advising you.

    • Chyron HR

      Oh, no, not “political operatives”.

    • mancityRed6

      this is the problem with jobs that need experience in that field.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    GWB was an idiot, Trump is a vicious idiot. That’s a big difference.

    • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

      We would also have accepted “psychopathic moron.”

    • NorthernSaber

      It is, but I’d put Darth Cheney awfully close to The Orange One in sheer nastiness, and Cheney was Shrubs puppetmaster.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Trump has got some special quality of awfulness all his own. Maybe the narcissism. I think you have to go all the way back to the inbred, weak chinned, feeble minded monarchs of Europe’s twilight years. I’ve heard Trump compared to Kaiser Wilhelm, and that sounds about right.

        • NorthernSaber

          Hmmm. I read somewhere once that his cousins (the King of England and the Tsar of Russia) bullied him as a kid and he never forgave them. When it all kicked off after Sarajevo he was more than willing to join the slaughter- but I think Trump has other shit going on.

      • Don’t forget Emperor Rove.

        • NorthernSaber

          Quite right. The Palpatine to Cheney’s Vader.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Jesus Christ. Chris Matthews, always there with the worst take possible: https://twitter.com/HardballChris/status/921145671666819072

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He acted like a fucking bully and a coward.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      How is trashing gold star parents presidential?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        You could wrap 50 pounds of cowshit in a Class A Uniform and Tweety would tell it has the most presidential stench he’s smelled since he licked W’s codpiece.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Only where presidential is redefined as Trumpian.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      STFU Tweety, there’s nothing presidential about attacking other Gold Star families and a sitting Rep who happens to be a lifelong friend of the dead soldier’s family. Nothing very presidential about whining about declining morals either, when you happen to work for Donnie.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I missed my chance earlier, but fuck General Kelly. I’m genuinely sorry that he lost his son, but I know other people who have lost loved ones in combat, and they don’t spend their lives as enabling, apologizing lickspittles for a fascist sociopath.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    AUSTIN — A federal appeals court has temporarily blocked an order calling for the U.S. government to let an undocumented teenager in Texas have an abortion, one day after the order was issued.

    The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia said the teenager still can travel to a clinic and receive the counseling Texas requires of women 24 hours ahead of an abortion, but barred her from actually having the procedure, which was scheduled for Friday or Saturday.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Apparently, the DoJ’s argument is that they have an interest in the life of a fetus. Hence, the blocking. FFS!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        the article I was reading said they were claiming a noncitizen has no constitutional right to abortion and the gov’t doesn’t have to facilitate one for her.

        (although even the 1st, 4th, 5th, and other amendments apply to anyone on our soil, but whatevs)

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          should have said other constitutional provisions, but studying…shhhh!

          ; P

        • jesterpunk

          SCOTUS ruled the 2nd amendment applies to anyone in the US even if they are not citizens.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i noted last week, apparently legal permanent residents can’t vote or serve on juries, but they sure as fuck can buy guns and ammo!

          • jesterpunk

            Because freedumbs.

          • Pisto75666

            Well how do you expect to make ’em into true ‘merikans if they can’t buy their guns n’ ammo?!

        • Zonath

          I just can’t even. Did all the actual intelligent lawyers in DOJ get fired and/or quit?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            spinning bullshit of this magnitude has to be difficult.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          It seems to me that since they consider a fetus to be a babby, it’s already a citizen at this point

          • puredog

            This will go further up. DC Ct Apps is wacko here.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          They know it. They’re trying to run out the clock to viability.

      • Bobathonic

        So now they want more anchor babbies? I has a confuse.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Right? This was exactly my first reaction.

      • Suttree

        “We really get off on deporting new mothers!”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Once again- THANKS BROS! Because there just wasn’t any difference between Hillary and Donnie

    • Three Finger Salute

      Airlift her to Toronto, stat.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        She’s a ward of the state, so she can’t leave the jurisdiction without their permission.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Oh, how bad must it be that we prefer W over the current President.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      At this point, I’d settle for anyone who could pass the Voigt-Kampff test

      • Major_Major_Major

        Sure, go ahead and write off 63M “people”.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Already done!

          • Major_Major_Major

            Whoda thunk that there were that many drunken uncles?

          • BreakingDeadMen

            I think there’s a ‘me too’ in there somewhere.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I hear Donnie scored well on the Mein Kampf test.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          He got an A+ from David Duke.

      • miss_grundy

        I don’t know that anyone in the line of succession could pass.

    • mancityRed6

      it’s fucking bad

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’d prefer a potted plant

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Harvey Weinstein’s potted plant. Which he resembles.

        • Major_Major_Major

          And shares his DNA

  • memzilla Ω

    Ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s musical accompaniment by… Cats Waller!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/93e1fc7489d298216e400ee692acf5765d1a3fcca2236745240b244e9fed22ee.gif

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      What, no Cat King Cole?

    • Suttree

      Is that from Sabrina?

      • memzilla Ω

        If it isn’t, it should be.

  • Covfefe

    Does Tweety do Wonkette? Reason I ask, he opened his extravaganza tonight chattering breathlessly, about yesterday’s post on Russian Troll Farms, or, if you prefer, Russian Dumbasses. Is the troll we’re arguing with not even a Russian Dumbass but only Tweety?

  • Nounverb911
  • He’s gotta be thinking
    (besides “How many more SCOTUS Justices will I get outta this idiot?”)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d80a42235e79585570e8bf6322a1f91b0b8a022a41b18d07808d356ab918925b.png

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Hello Eugenial Wonks! Me an’ Editrix are here at Whirled Pies, having drinks!

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Have fun, Kiri!!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Have fun. While I drink here alone. In the dark.

      • mancityRed6

        and I’ll just peep at you through your windows, again.
        thanks.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        it’s not dark yet…

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Thanks for ruining the vibe, Mr. Buzzkill.

        • ariel_gee_398

          But it’s getting there?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s always dark inside my head.

          • puredog

            It is a far better thing to light, and then eat, a candle, than to drink alone in the dark of your head.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Jesus, Morrissey, lighten up.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yeah, well… would you rather have me channel Michael Stipe or some shit?

          • ariel_gee_398

            As long as it’s not Geddy Lee.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Why the Rush to judgement?

          • ariel_gee_398

            He’s always trying to steal the Limelight. And his voice is like nails down a chalkboard.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Mom?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Guilt is the gift that never stops giving.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Pix and GTFO, or similar. Or just pix, please.

  • roberteye

    Yeah George and Laura Bush were just out pimping for Ed Gillespie, who Pence was out pimping for. He’s still the asshole who had Cheney whispering in his ear. It demonstrates how intolerably horrible Trump is more than that Bush, fellow empty suit, has had some moment of clarity. The thing is, Trump’s first target in the campaign was Jeb in particular, who he saw as his chief rival. In the course of that, he came after W and the Iraq War, (advancing the lie that he was always against it). So there’s that at work in “war president” Bush’s mind, I bet. But whatever, he’ll get his tweet spanking eventually. “Now watch this drive!”

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Didn’t Gillespie come out or is he still in the closet?

    • amrak63

      “Tweet Spanking”

      Is that what the youngsters are calling it these days?

    • puredog

      “Now, watch this drivel!”

  • memzilla Ω
    • Nounverb911

      Jared?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Russian Lawyer Lady

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Oily Taintz?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Wait, what?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        yet anotehr reason why we don’t need “business” presidents.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Preet Bharara made some cryptic comments about it. Basically sounded a lot like, “this is improper due to the active investigation that nobody outside that office knows about yet.”

      • Sophia

        He is personally interviewing candidates only in states where he has businesses.

    • TootsStansbury

      So much corruption. I can’t politely say what I think of Republicans at this point.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    wow, turns out Roy Moore isn’t even the craziest lawyer in Alabama:

    Harry Lyon is a perennial candidate for various political positions in Alabama, representing various parties. He is perhaps most famous for being the Democratic candidate for the Alabama Supreme Court in 2012 (running a hopeless campaign against Roy Moore) on a platform of random drug testing of school children and executing illegal Mexican immigrants on Alabama soil: “It would only take five or 10 getting killed and broadcast on CNN for it to send a clear message not to fool, or not to step foot rather, in Alabama,” said Lyon

    Lyon is a lawyer whose credentials include having served in the marines and being shot twice, neither time while in the military

    In 2001 Lyon was convicted of menacing after pulling a gun on a neighbor and holding police at bay for two hours. When running for the Supreme Court, though, Lyon claimed that “[o]ther than a traffic ticket, I have never broken a law,” since the gun one doesn’t count in his book. He has also “never been disbarred,” which should be encouraging but probably tells you more about the Alabama bar association’s, uh, bar for disbarment. He also swore that he is not crazy.

    t one point he planned to run for mayor of Pelham as “Low Carb” Lyons, with a platform of driving the fat folks out: “Let’s face it. The fact is that fat people are ugly and disgusting to look at as much as is traffic congestion and wasteful spending by our city government,” said Lyon. He is also on the record calling “faggotry” an abomination and saying that “only sick and perverted persons believe in homosexuality or lesbianism, though there are a lot of them.”
    http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2017/10/1911-harry-lyon.html

    • Beanz&Berryz

      At least both of which he deserved…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Thank God I live on the west coast…

      • puredog

        “Roy Moore. The reasonable, and moderate, choice.”

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Holy Sweet Jesus Mother Fuck….

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Huh. You know what part of this surprises me?
      None of it.
      Goddamn it.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        That actually kinda says it all… Y’all..

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        I’ve been to alabama twice, but that state and miss. strike me as just dark, scary blackholes of fucking derp (and racism).

        I KNOW they are good people there, it just seems like, maybe not a lot of them.

        • Jesse

          I can’t imagine what it must be like to be LGBT in a place like that.
          Or black.
          Or muslim.
          Or Latino.
          Or a woman.

          Know what, I’m gonna stop there. This is making me depressed.

        • Alan

          Stay on paved roads and make sure you have a full tank of gas so you don’t have to stop and it’s a fine place.

        • Begin Anew Day

          You are too kind.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Reagan Democrats are awesome?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Uh, he seems nice wackafuckiddydangdoodlenutso
      http://weldbham.com/secondfront/files/2012/08/Demonic.png

    • Alan

      At least other countries know a joke when they see one. Here we elect them. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/54a0df1740752b0cd96ac3e7270b1d3f4d40e95895022e376f0349ebbe661c4a.jpg

  • Nounverb911

    I couldn’t possibly imagine donnie doing anything remotely as touching as this.

    https://youtu.be/ySOnPZFPms8

    • Nounverb911
      • Three Finger Salute

        Those comments, YIKES. Shouldn’t have scrolled down. Gord was a genuine humanitarian who wanted to make Canada great again, and what does he get? YouTube assholes calling Trudeau a drama queen and saying the Hip sucked and that Trudeau is “politicizing” Gord’s death, making it all about himself…

        You should see the shit they write in the peanut gallery below the eulogy video where he breaks down crying saying goodbye to his father.

        The best thing Canada can do to make themselves great again is to dismantle the country’s Internet capabilities. Not polite. Atrocious. Deplorable.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Aww Justin 😢 💔 🥀 Gord Downie is smiling down from beyond the Northern Lights. 🌌 “Canada is in good hands,” he said during the farewell tour. You’re ahead by a century, you really are.

  • mancityRed6

    and I got a new phone today. first new one in about 5 years.

    • FukuiSanYesOta
      • mancityRed6

        the rotary phone is probably why I still hate to call people.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          When I was young, I kept wondering if it would cut off my finger. There aren’t my places I would stick my finger into.

          • Aggle Wok

            Hey, are we still doing Uranus jokes?

          • Major_Major_Major

            Uranus jokes, and the related dick jokes, are always in play.

        • NorthernSaber

          Grew up with one of those- on a party line!

          • One of the things that made me realize that progress is uneven was back in ’91, when I was getting a phone line in a new address. It wasn’t just that I’d lived in a city and had a private line, but all my relatives in the same area I was moving to had them, and had since the mid-70’s. So it was a shock in this town to be asked “do you want a 2-party or a 4-party line?” by the phone company.

          • NorthernSaber

            I can remember using a rotary phone as late as the spring of 1992 (rural Maine). Moving to St. Paul later that year was like getting on a rocket to the future…

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Does it have buttons or a rotary dial? Where did you connect it to the wall?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Damn brah….a new phone, a date this weekend. What’s next…you going to start showering regularly or some shit?

    • Begin Anew Day

      So when are you going to drop it?

      You know they aren’t really broken in until the glass is cracked.

      (I do speak from painful experience.)

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Ninkasi. That’s clearly a class joint.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        hey Mitt, we had a speaker today you would have liked. Older fuddy duddy criminal defense guy. Gave a passionate argument for why we don’t have liberty without the constitution.

        Anyway, Reminded me a lot of you.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Aren’t you older than me?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            not the age dude! He was just a particularly inspired (and inspiring) defense guy. Very passionate about what he was talking about.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            p.s.
            he told this great story about catching a cop in a lie, when they get security footage contradicting the cop’s statement and the cop didn’t know they had it.

    • aureolaborealis

      Is that our lord and savior, Trix, ordering pizza?

  • I always felt that Dubya was (and still is) a fundamentally decent person who just got in way over his head, thanks to the Evil Counselors Darth Cheney and Emperor Rove.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I tend to agree.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I think that’s right, but what is it with the Republican FUCKS who accidentally get elected and than are like, “Whoa, Bro,” and there are competent, smart Democrats who they beat… Officially, speaking

    • aktlib101

      Nope.
      He is a war criminal, along with Cheney. They sent thousands of American soldiers to die, and tens of thousands of Iraqis, for no reason other than personal profit. That is not what a “fundamentally decent” person does.
      Problem is, Trump lowered the bar even further.

      • Paperless Tiger

        There were other reasons for that war. The over-arching panic may have been signs of a military alliance between Iraq and Iran, which would have been a credible threat to Israel and Saudi Arabia. Not to say the bastards didn’t take advantage to profiteer while they were at it.

    • TootsStansbury

      Privileged frat boy, Peter principled into the Presidency based on his family name. He went along with all the crimes. He went along with all of it.

    • Alan

      Still dumb as a doorknob.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    I want to go back to New Zealand….

    Meet Jacinda Ardern, 37, New Zealand’s Next Prime Minister….

    http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/10/19/558824862/meet-jacinda-ardern-37-new-zealands-next-prime-minister

  • Picabo
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I used to have a huge poster in my bedroom of M51.

  • Zonath

    I keep wondering how many Republicans, in discussing the recent American servicemember deaths, reflexively spell “Niger” incorrectly.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      That may explain why Trump took so long to acknowledge it. His staff finally convinced him it was “Four soldiers in Niger” not “4 Ni**er Soldiers.”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Speaking of which.. how many Niger soldiers were casualties in that thing?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Or say it that way…

    • Major_Major_Major

      Wait, it don’t sound like bigger?-all trumpkins errrywhere

  • natoslug

    It’s been a solid wall of water out there for an hour or more. I think the Humboldt monsoon season has officially begun.

    • DainBramage

      Yeah, up here near Seattle it’s quite wet. My cat wants to go out, until I open the door and the wind whips rain into her face.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Worse wet than that, if weather reports are right…

      • natoslug

        I meant to cover my grill this weekend. Oops. At least it’ll make a nice aquarium, if I can find a fish that enjoys lots of ashy water.

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Check the Napa or Sonoma rivers.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Isn’t there some supposed connection that the deaths in Niger were related to our relationship with Chad or something. I haven’t read much on it, but I’m seeing why McCain and investigators are giving this the stink eye.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      From Wonk comments.. Chad had been supporting the Niger thing, but pulled out after they were tossed into Trump’s latest Muslim ban.. Which you can see in the UK paper The Independent… Whether there is a direct connection to this ambush therefore lacking support is unclear…

    • Andy_Kreiss

      I believe “Chad” is a code word among trumpanzee/alt right incels for the guys who actually have sex with women. So any relationship with Chad is Immediately suspect.

  • Serai 1

    I just made this .gif because this shit has to be fucking seen to be believed. I was looking around Buzzfeed for .gifs, happened on this page, hit “translate” and… Holy crap!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a8abb6c7338cd4426660736d345153d50a7084244abf481be3d5c06fbeb99cc6.gif

    Here’s the page itself: https://www.buzzfeed.com/jp/eimiyamamitsu/me-too?bfsource=bbf_jajp&utm_term=.tq6zXJBAV#.yh3dpxrXN

    • Alan

      In fairness, Asian languages are impossible. That’s why the instruction manual never makes sense.

      • C4TWOMAN

        “Have many good enjoyment using DVR!”

        -Sony Team

        • Alan

          “That’s the way how to” is one of my favorites.

  • Nounverb911

    The trump/mother pence 2020 campaign has released a fun raising petition to get the NFL players to stop their first amendment right to protest.
    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/921159065883103233

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “Or we’ll shoot your black ass…”

    • Serai 1

      has released a fun raising petition

      While these are the best kind (especially if there’s cake!), wouldn’t money be more helpful?

    • Shibusa

      How about a “Don’t Insult War Widows Petition”?

    • Michael R

      Notice how neither of them has discussed the
      police brutality that this was meant to draw attention to ?

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Police brutality? Neither of them has ever experienced police brutality. It must not exist.

        • Michael R

          Reagan and AIDS all over again

    • Christopher Story

      Fascism bought and paid for by the intended victims. How convenient.

    • Jamoche

      I really want to find a place that plays the national anthem so I can sit. But the local sportsball is the 49ers, and even if they didn’t suck, Levi’s Stadium does.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        The drive there really sucks. And not even just on Game Day.

        • Jamoche

          I’m 5 miles away. I don’t even think about using 101 on Game Day.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      tell the boss lady we say hi!

      • Tishalicious

        But I don’t see DR anywhere….

        • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

          Eugene is the last place I’d expect to catch on to her fake ID…

      • janecita

        How was your test?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          It came back positive. Be sensitive about it.

          • janecita

            Mum’s the word;-)

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            Tacos is already pretty sensitive about it.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          great! Just got back.

          • janecita

            Yay! I knew that you were worrying about nothing:-) You are a bright guy, and you know it.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            aw thanks! No, I did a lot o studying. Blanked on one thing.

            There was stuff in there I hadn’t studied! But luckily it was recent, so I remembered it.
            (wipes brow).
            Whew!
            (and thanks for asking about it. It’s sweet – but it’s just community college.).

    • Hi! *waves with unhealthy enthusiasm, gets winded*

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That looks great…

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        yeah, that frosty mug of beer is calling me.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I know that lady! Say hi!

    • Shibusa
      • Beanz&Berryz

        That’s just a trick to look cute, to get you close, to eat your face… and everything else too…

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      ❤️🍰🍰❤️ 🍺
      Have fun, you lovelies!

    • Christopher Story

      Yay for you!

    • TJ Barke
    • janecita

      When is she coming to NY/NJ?

      • TJ Barke

        100,000 years.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Hate you! Mean it! (not really)

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • C4TWOMAN

      Wow…is that rain on the windows?

      • In Oregon, no way.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Yes, it was pretty wet today.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance
    • Holly

      OH, THERE YOU ARE! Is this why you haven’t returned any of my calls?

  • Beanz&Berryz

    How sloppy wet is the Eugene Wonkie thing right now that we here in Portland are catching just the raggedy edge of the big-assed sky river overhead?

  • Ilgattomorte

    So, lets’ take stock of where we are.

    A) Donald Trump is our President.
    B) One of our finest military generals just disgraced himself and his office.
    C) Russia is probably responsible for more of our political discourse than either party.
    D) Our Attorney General is a racist Keebler elf.
    E) Virtually every Democrat, Republican and Independent now believe George W Bush wasn’t so bad after all.

    Can we be absolutely sure that someone didn’t fuck up so badly trying to go back in time to kill Hitler, that we are now living in an alternate time stream? I’ve got to say it now seems more plausible.

    • ariel_gee_398

      F) Rick Perry is in charge of securing our nukes.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        At some Department…

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Mandela Effect in effect.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i donut miss dUh sHrub & choosing between W vs tR is like which ear i want an ice pick stuck

      • HogeyeGrex

        Marburg, or ebola. Marburg or ebola. Hmmmmmmmm…

    • zeddicuskotor

      Since everyone with a time machine goes to the past to kill Hitler, and he is still around, means that Hitler has successfully fought off untold amounts of time traveling assassins. The only plausible explanation for this is that Hitler is a Time Lord and knows best how to defeat those pesky time travelers.

    • TootsStansbury

      F) Our allegedly free press has abdicated its duty to the people.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Man, Becca and I are the only ones drinking like we mean it!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Drink it like you stole it.

    • puredog

      I BEG your pardon.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Oh, sorry! I meant here at the pizza place!

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          That’d better *hic* be what you mean!

    • efoveks

      SHOT! SHOT! SHOT! SHOT! :D

    • TJ Barke

      Stop rubbing it in!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Pics or GTFO.

    • We all mean it!

  • Sophia
    • TJ Barke

      *snicker*

  • Nounverb911

    Vanity Fair has published photos from Ivanka’s failed modelling career.
    OY!
    https://www.vanityfair.com/style/photos/2017/10/ivanka-trump-modeling-years
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b48ab6adeac820abdf94eb3e1eeb85ec26392b64d8966cae2909fce389d6a2fd.png
    And this is one of the better photos….

    • Christopher Story

      Daddy’s little girl

    • Alan

      WTF!!?

    • CripesAmighty

      Oh, dear.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Don’t look directly at it, she’ll turn you to stone.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Too la–

    • janecita

      Dude, she should give her plastic surgeon’s number to Tiffany, the man is a magician, Ivanka was hideous!

      • SayItWithOtters

        He must have ripped whole chunks of flesh out of those cheeks for all that contouring.

    • natoslug

      I’m laughing with you, Vanky-vank, not at you, I swear.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      This is what happens when everyone gets a trophy.

    • TootsStansbury

      You’re not my Daddy!

    • SayItWithOtters
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      OK, which of you Wonkers did her hair and makeup?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I thought you were joking.

      AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • C4TWOMAN

      Are those her real lips or injections?
      I’ve been very sceptical of the cosmetic surgery speculation, but I’m starting to see people’s point…

    • ariel_gee_398

      Some people just have presence in front of a camera.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Yes, it’s just not always the good kind.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      It’s okay kid, really. Your daddy is rich.

    • Michael R
      • janecita

        Scary!!!

      • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

        Hey, she would make a great decent vampire in a low-budget tv show series! In the 90s.

    • It’s cool. She was in the middle of her six week punk phase.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      How many psi was her face inflated to?

  • Michael R
  • amrak63

    Good night, Wonketarians.

    https://i.imgur.com/oMpkep0.png

    • Shanzgood

      (psst…they make those now)

      • Sounds like a fancy brand with rubble and grit. Haven’t seen them yet with CoCoa Puffs or Capt’n Crunch Crunchberries Only…

        • Shanzgood

          The “big bag” section of the cereal aisle has them.

    • Congrats! Make sure to fill him with sugar and give him noisy toys when ypu’re sending him home

      • Shanzgood

        Grmph

      • Jonny On Maui

        Soda, pixie sticks (straws filled with colored sugar) and a drum…

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    You know what sucks besides everything? In some instances it’s cheaper for me to buy a blu ray from the UK than in the US

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Mostly because the UK tanked their currency by voting for Brexit.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Actually the pound still has more value than the dollar.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Well yes, America voted for the shitgibbon.

        • Rags

          Not relevant. The pound is down about ten percent vs the dollar this year.

      • Yes. It has been good for my ordering official Pratchett merch and clothing.

  • Nounverb911
    • Rags

      Saw an actual oil change joint advertising pumpkin spice oil yesterday.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      2 Towns in Corvallis makes an excellent pumpkin spice cider. Very tasty!

  • Shanzgood

    Ugh. That insufferable ‘splainer on Robyn’s article. I suppose he would advise male prisoners to “minimize their vulnerability” to prison rape by avoiding being sent to prison. Never mind that it’s prison rape that’s the problem.

    Fucking nonsense.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      You mean you aren’t interested in all the ways women can make themselves less at risk for rape? Like never leaving home? Except you are more likely to be raped by someone you know, so you aren’t safe there, either. It’s almost like that guy wants a world in which women are not safe, no matter what we do, but are also to blame for it, no matter what we do.

      • Shanzgood

        No, he wants to tell us the same shit we’ve heard FOREVER so he can pretend he’s doing something to “help” people. It’s like Thoughts and Prayers.

  • Nounverb911
  • Three Finger Salute

    Oh, no no no fucking NO! God DAMMIT Zuck, stay the fuddle-duddle out of it! Haven’t you done enough damage already? Get away from Our Justin, go directly to jail hell and do NOT collect two hundred rubles exchanged for loonies!

    Facebook says they want to help “secure” the next Canadian federal election

    Fffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuu, eh.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Zuck, you’re not helping, you fuzzy-haired shitwagon.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      We don’t NEED help. We use paper ballots, the election only takes 55 days and Canadians HATE negative ads.
      Happily if they spot any American ratfucking the Liberals won’t be afraid to call it out.

    • Delu

      Justin’s campaign should include the following:

      “It’s fine to vote for what you wish for, but be careful, voting, like any other right, comes with RESPONSIBILITIES. And there are consequences for not being responsible for voting.”

      Then include an arrow which points to a picture of Trump.

  • janecita

    I have this song stuck in my head tonight, tonight:-)

    https://youtu.be/NOG3eus4ZSo

    • Tishalicious

      Best. Video. Ever. ^_^

  • Nounverb911
    • DainBramage

      Gollum had more moral authority than Ollie North.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Perfect example of how conservatives LOVE a traitor.

    • cmd resistor

      Scumbag pig.

    • Edith Prickly

      Who fucking cares what this guy thinks?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    New Beck album is pretty tight btdubs

  • Sheepshagger
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      ewww … mostly because I can see it happening.

  • Stinky_Hole

    One of you talented individuals needs go find the AbFab episode where Eddie’s father died. Make a gif of the scene where Patsy awkwardly pats her mother and says “I condole you” – it’s a better example of what to say to somebody who’s lost a loved one than the advice Kelly gave to Trumplethinskin.
    If you wondered how Kelly functions in this White House’s environment, well, he fits right in. Pig-ignorant and haughty.
    What one tough-guy-military-man says to another tough-guy-military-man when his son is killed in action is stupid shit (sorrow is for pussies). Any fool would know better than to suggest that as an example of how to approach a grieving family. And since this tragedy has been playing out for more than a decade, there are likely countless individuals in all branches of the military who could offer guidance on how to do it (I expect they have on-line tutorials).
    Smart people know how to find the people who know what they don’t know. Stupid people don’t know that they don’t know, and then act all butthurt when their failure is out there on display.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Patsy: Eddie tells me that Mr. M… you know… dead.
      Mrs. June ‘Gran’ ‘Mother’ Monsoon: That’s right.
      Patsy: Well, I um… condole you.
      Mrs. June ‘Gran’ ‘Mother’ Monsoon: Thank you dear.
      Patsy: He chose the right season to go.
      Saffie: What do you mean?
      Patsy: Well Harvey Nicks have got some really tasty little black numbers at the moment. And black is like “in”. You wouldn’t have to wear it only the once. It’s my job to know these things.

      • Stinky_Hole

        It would be better if Jarvanka made the calls, now that you mention it.
        (that ‘t’ makes a difference)

    • Sophia

      What actually appalled me more about the whole thing was when the wife hung up the phone and said “He didn’t even know his name”. That to me was more unconscionable than anything else. It showed how little he really cared.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Can my congress member call out one of Donald’s lackeys, please and thank you?

    https://twitter.com/RepAdamSchiff/status/921131123131985923

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    A college kid walked in to my office yesterday wanting to hire me. A cop had cited him for failing to notify the State of his change of address. I live in a border town — Washington is about about 2000 feet from my office — where half the people, including one city council member from each town, work on the other side of the river. Anyway, I was pissed. I told the kid he could not hire me, but to just go to class, and I’d take care of it.

    This afternoon, I went to the courthouse, found myself a prosecutor, handed him the ticket, and said, “What is this shit? You really gonna prosecute this kid?”
    “Well . . .”
    “I noticed your car still has Washington tags on it.”
    “I noticed that, too. I think I’ll go ahead and dismiss this.”

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      You’re good people, Matt!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        You’re too kind.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Woo hoo! I’m impressed! Are you having yourself cloned, because I think we could use more of you?!….

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I actually know quite a few better than me. That prosecutor is a good one, too.

        • Jacob DiCiaula

          I’ll admit, the underage drinking charges tended to be stopped my desire to appear not not entirely hypocritical

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Fuck off, Kelly. You know who’s 15 years older than you?

      GLORIA STEINEM

  • Nounverb911

    Better hurry, this starts in a half hour….
    https://twitter.com/JustinDecker/status/920888525129629696

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      He looks about as funny as pancreatic cancer.

    • Michael R
    • Rocket Pony Ron

      What a star-studded line-up of has-beens and never-wases!

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Survivor” is not a job. And “Sheriff” is missing “Disgraced Former”.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        I bet you 62.50 will score me a handy from Anna Khait

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      What type of job is “Street”

    • CO

      He’s running against Maxine lol. And we all know she did hurt that man baby from the Young Turks.

      • Bobathonic

        Have you heard if he’s still on life support?

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      So, Omar Navarro

      Born: January 9, 1989 (age 28), Torrance, CA
      Nationality: American
      Party: Republican Party
      Education: ITT Technical Institute

      OK then.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Only 125 bucks to see Joe Arpaio!?! Somebody pinch me!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Oh darn. Have to pass on this one. I have a work crew due tomorrow to help me wallpaper my birdhouses. It’s time to change over to their special fall decor.

    • Raan

      I wonder what kind of vig Trump’s collecting for his campaign/legal defense fund.

    • Edith Prickly

      Is Mr. Navarro not worried that Joe will call ICE on his?

    • Edith Prickly

      Dan Nainan sounds like a real piece of work too.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’d say “that about covers it” if I weren’t pretty sure the wingnuts will come up with something else the next time they need a distraction from Donald’s incompetence FFS:

    https://twitter.com/MrDane1982/status/921126491722797057

    • jesterpunk

      They cant be a gold star family either.

    • Bobathonic

      Oh, the list is literally endless.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Kelly is just FOXbot Mike Flynn in sheeple clothing.

    https://twitter.com/brianefallon/status/921100806539145216

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      ^this shit right here^

  • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

    Online Harassment Training complete. Time to harass some liquor.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      ‘She was standing there under the desk light. You could see her label and everything!’

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        The proof is on the label.

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        The glass was RIGHT THERE!! It said, “you know you want to.” And I am but a mortal sinner, easily tempted…

    • Jonny On Maui

      Why the bosses hated me #X

      Boss: Finish that harassment training?

      Me: Yup.

      Boss: What did you think?

      Me: Hard to fap to.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Double points for female boss.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Boss: Did you finish your harassment training?

        Someone: Sure did. Now I know how to get away with it.

      • Raan

        “I mean, I did, but it wasn’t easy.”

      • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

        I’m just gonna write that one down.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Pizza is looking tasty!

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m seeing some full pints there. Get to work!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Looks like woodworking shavings on a bit of cardboard.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Philistine.

        • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

          Add some Elmer’s glue as cheese and you’ve got yourself Dominos.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        When I visited Manhattan in 2015, I bought a slice of pepperoni pizza and ate it off a paper plate walking down 8th Ave. Was it the best pizza I ever ate? All things considered, I’d have to say yes.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        That looks like baked dough with partially digested pizza slathered onto it.

        But, I’m not gonna judge…

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Jon Stewart is coming for you.

      • Jonny On Maui

        There’s a NJ expat here that a place in Lahaina and here upcountry. Best pizza on the island.

        Prison Street Pizza and Serpico’s, should anyone be looking…

  • Three Finger Salute

    Stay classy, Québec.

    Québec’s new “religious neutrality” law will prohibit people from wearing sunglasses on the bus

    It’s not about Muslims… it’s about ninjas. Specifically, blind ninjas. Also too, Phantom of the Opera cosplayers.

    • mancityRed6

      yeah, but it’s Quebec. it’s not really surprising.

      • Three Finger Salute

        They really don’t get that making people feel unwelcome makes them angry at you, do they. Same with Cuba and the USA. Or Iran and the USA. Or… pretty much everyone and the USA…

        Maybe if the banelieux in France were better integrated, there wouldn’t be so much insularity and distrust there either. So far the worst terror attack to occur under the Trudeau government was… a Marine Le Pen and Trump fanatic who went all Charles Martel on innocent people in a mosque. But nobody’s trying to stop La Meute members from riding the metro.

        Stop driving divisions and animosity. Maybe if they made Muslims feel more at home as equals and members of the community, they’d ease into moderating some of the more extreme fundamentalist tenets that they feel they need to “protect” themselves and embed further into the tribe? They ever think of that? Sacre bleu…

    • Well, the Phantom was a crazy-ass stalker.

    • If that’s the case, Corey Hart will never be able to ride a bus, again.

      • mancityRed6

        my first name and literally the very first video I ever saw on the MTV

        • Three Finger Salute

          I liked the follow-up hit better.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4pg6Jh94Lo

          • mancityRed6

            and why not both?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Sunglasses at Night was pretty darn catchy, and it had a beat and you could dance to it. I just prefer ballads as a genre. Sucker for the sweet stuff, I guess. 😊

          • Kooolest G

            I like this better. and can canadians still wear stunna glasses on the bus

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=912Zzqp8FYg

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        Corey Hart was my go-to look to attract the ladies when I was in junior high.

        I’d attempt that sexy squinty thing he does, and the girls would say, “Oh, heeey, what the hell’s wrong with your eyes?

        • Three Finger Salute

          You wore your sunglasses for too long, apparently. Couldn’t adjust to the normal light. 😎

    • Jonny On Maui

      I don’t wear sunglasses religiously…

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        I don’t do religion religiously.

    • Delu

      Ninjas wear forehead protectors…

      ..well at least the current trend is like that…

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      You “Practice France”? It’s like, “OK, we want to be just like France but we’ve had some budget cutbacks. So just do your best!”

      • Three Finger Salute

        In the anime, Hetalia: Axis Powers which features personifications of countries as teenage boys, the character of Canada (called Matthew for some reason) sometimes has a dream where a chibi (toddler) Québec (sort of his combination inner child and alter ego) threatens to run away from home if he doesn’t get everything he wants. But then he comes back because he doesn’t have any money, and France doesn’t want him to live at his house either. Rinse and repeat.

  • beingreleased

    I realized today that Trump is just quoting Bob Dylan regarding Puerto Rico:

    Sugar for sugar,
    Salt for salt,
    If you go down in the flood,
    It’ll be your fault.

    Now I’m sad.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “You gonna have to get yourself another president somehow.”

      • beingreleased

        “Even the President of the United States must have to stand naked sometimes.”

        Now l’ve made myself sick.

        And no one post that painting.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Don’t worry, I just ate.

        • Delu

          Dammit you reminded me of the Scary Movie where Leslie Nielsen was President of America.

          And naked on stage.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/EsotericCD/status/921139096923394049
    That’s nice.
    They are spending 100 times that to gut laws combating climate change, protect workers and so much more.

    • yyyaz

      And another $1 billion per election cycle to buy Congress and state leges. Guess which contributions are tax-deductible.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Vil’ you be loyal to your Furher? Answer me. Swear an oath.”

    [Trump personally interviewed U.S. attorney candidates
    One potential nominee would have jurisdiction over Trump Tower and be in a position to investigate the Trump administration.

    By SEUNG MIN KIM and JOHN BRESNAHAN 10/19/2017 05:50 PM EDT

    President Donald Trump has personally interviewed at least two potential candidates for U.S. attorney positions in New York, according to two sources familiar with the matter — a move that critics say raises questions about whether they can be sufficiently independent from the president.
    It is very rare for a president to interview candidates for the 93 U.S. attorney jobs. Former President Barack Obama never interviewed a U.S. attorney candidate during his two terms, according to Matthew Miller, who served as Justice Department spokesman under the Obama administration.
    “It is neither normal nor advisable for Trump to personally interview candidates for US Attorney positions, especially the one in Manhattan,” Bharara tweeted Wednesday.]

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/10/19/trump-us-attorney-interviews-243962

    How Mr. Godwin, how you do apply.

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/HoZw9xz0OY4/hqdefault.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Delu

      So much for keeping Trump in check.

  • beingreleased

    This is from “The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich” by William L. Shirer:

    Such was the conglomeration of men around the leader of the National Socialists. In a normal society they surely would have stood out as a grotesque assortment of misfits. But in the last chaotic days of the Republic they began to appear to millions of befuddled Germans as saviors. And they had two advantages over their opponents: They were led by a man who knew exactly what he wanted and they were ruthless enough, and opportunist enough, to go to any lengths to help him get it.

    The question is, who is the leader? It clearly isn’t Trump. Bannon is the most likely, in my mind.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      That’s a great book.

      • beingreleased

        I’m slowly getting through it.

    • data_ninja

      I don’t think it’s a single leader anymore that is controlling it all. I think it would be easy to follow (and dissolve) if it were just one person or small group. I think there is a power vacuum that lasts only a short time, and then gets filled again. The theoretical leaders keep rotating in and out so much these days. Remember when Glenn Beck was the craziest nutter to hear about in the news? Now it’s Alex Jones or even new up and comers. And eventually they will get passed up by a crazier, more eccentric loon.

      The one thing that seems to stay the same are the backers. Not the people that listen mindlessly to the leaders and follow them (those would be supporters), but the higher level people or organizations that have the resources to prop up these temporary leaders. It seems to be about puppets that get tossed away once they are no longer needed.

      And I’ll end this little rant with another idea: What about Russia? It seems that an experiment proving how easy it was to pay for an administration in a capitalistic country with obvious loopholes and lack of safeguards (Citizens United) was pretty successful.

      *adjusts tin foil hat accordingly*

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        It isn’t as much a “leader” as it a narrative being fed by a bunch of nasty characters and broadcasted to millions of rubes by complicit media in return for profit.

        Okay, it seems like that to me, anyway.

        • data_ninja

          I’m tired and my brain isn’t wording good, but as far as visuals go, it’s that it’s no longer a mainframe, but a peer-to-peer network. Or even there’s no longer a single large monster to blame, it’s the multiple fields of zombies. I think maybe it started somewhere, maybe even with one person, but has since grown out of control and feeds off of itself.

    • great. which city gets to be dresden? or berlin?

  • Juan de Fuca

    In the continuing saga of “What do the generals think about Trump telling a Gold Star Mother that her son knew what he was signing up for”, retired LTG (RET) Mark Hertling was just on CNN and basically said his friend and former colleague, MG (RET) John Kelly, should’ve kept himself out of this one, because this mother’s loss isn’t about John Kelly. He also basically said that Kelly’s attack of the media today amounted to dereliction of duty (how I heard it).

    So for those of us (me) keeping score at home, LTG Mark Hertling proved once again that he’s probably a genuinely decent person and John Kelly confirmed my previous suspicions that he’s probably not.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Wasn’t Kelly pushing hard for all the immigration stuff?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He was the one pushing the regional offices to cherry pick arrests looking for immigrants with the most egregious criminal records to make it look like that’s who ICE was really going after.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Thanks. I needed to hear that not everyone in the military is falling in line on this one. I’d like to think Kelly is a good guy, but he disgraced himself today, and his continuing enabling of a an unhinged bigot speaks for itself.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I’ve served with a lot of people in the military who were sadly, dipshits. On both the enlisted and officer side, plenty of them in high ranking positions. Kelly always struck me as a dipshit, just my personal opinion. And not just because he agreed to served in Trump’s cabinet. Mattis strikes me as the kind of person and leader who seems legit but we’ll see how handles the investigation into the Niger ambush. Because that just sounds likes another case of the military putting troops into harms way and telling them “Stop worrying, and just do your mission. You’ll be fine.”

        Been there, done that and lived to snark about it. It sounds like some fucked up shit went down to me, but we’ll see. Or will we?

        RIP to Sgt. La David Johnson, Staff Sgt. Bryan Black, Staff Sgt. Jeremiah Johnson and Staff Sgt. Dustin Wright.

        • Well said JdF.

          • Juan de Fuca

            I figured you would know exactly what I’m talking about.

      • Pretty sure the enlisted heard loud and clear a General say they “signed up” to “die”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      And again, it’s not just about ‘signing up’. Full context:

      “He knew what he signed up for, but when it happens, it hurts anyway.”

      And apparently not knowing the soldier’s name.

      • Three Finger Salute

        He thinks he does, but you don’t want him to say it.

        Trump thinks the guy’s name was Nigel Niger.

      • Bobathonic

        He signed up to defend* the country, not to die. It’s not a guarantee.

        *for certain definitions of defend. YMMV

        • Delu

          “No Mr Bond I expect you to die!”

          What every American soldier hears upon enlistment (replace “Mr Bond with their name), according to Kelly.

      • so i’m going to keep saying this, but now i understand why trump said what he said. kelly gave him talking points that he was too stupid and unsympathetic to understand. so they came out of his mouth like the fucking sociopath he is. and then everyone went into panic mode.

        and then kelly had to take the blame AND get in a dig at a congresswoman he’s had issues with in the past.

        and now, again, we’re in a place on a platform we should never be. because there’s no coming back. none. we’re done. some other empire years in the future is going to have to make us be part of the human project again.

        i hope somebody has balloons. and fuck you donald trump. just..fuck you.

    • Delu

      That line came from Kelly, or at least that’s what Kelly says.

      So Trump DID lie when he denied it.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Obama never called or…he didn’t …and I don’t think presidents do often call.” __ The Fucking Moron.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DMZurMKXkAA2VJ0.jpg

  • jesterpunk

    Chris Hayes makes a good point, the Ten_GOP account was kind of hard to know it was fake since real GOP twitter accounts like the official Virginia GOP account also tweeted ridiculous things.

    • DainBramage

      Proving that the GOP is a party of trolls.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Proving for 4,987th time that the GOP is a party of trolls.

        FTFY

      • jesterpunk

        They did elect a troll as POTUS so…yeah.

    • Edith Prickly

      When you can’t tell the fake accounts from the real ones…

      • jesterpunk

        That really says something about the GOP as a party. They are worse then actual trolls because they actually believe the stuff they push.

        • Arolpin

          It’s Poe’s Law squared. Or the anti-Poe’s Law. I don’t care to get enough into the derp to figure it out.

          • jesterpunk

            The Derp state?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Another busy day kicked off with a 6:45am phone call that we had an employee going out on Administrative Leave because she had pleaded guilty to felony welfare fraud. Then another employee went out because she struck a kid when the kid spit in her face. And one missed his random drug test. And we have a pervasive bullying situation in girl’s athletics that has the parent of the victim livid and us seriously considering shutting down the sport for the season if the school cannot get the other parents to back off…

    • Well that sounds like fun

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Yeah. Let’s just say that we have had a bit of spot and bother.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I don’t know if you know this, but you need a drink.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I don’t doubt it.. But I have soup. Soup makes it better.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          On the bright side, at least your district isn’t threatening to suspend Native kids from school for not standing for the Pledge of Allegiance.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Why? Are they sitting on a pile of money and have nothing better to do with it than pay out lawsuit judgments?

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I guess. I gather this is going on somewhere in the vicinity of the Spokane Tribe, which is freshly awash in cash and top-notch lawyers.

  • mancityRed6

    found Karl curled up in the bed earlier today
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a033ee9a76232f09299ba5595da2f236f7da780330048437f9e4d922ef274ad4.jpg
    and that’s where I’m headed right now.
    more laundry and another workout tomorrow in the AM.
    be good.

    • mancityRed6

      and yes, that’s a rubber band on the doors to the laundry whatever, nook?
      Karl figured out how to get them open.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Karl is a handsome kitty!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Good night, Darlin’ :)

  • Delu

    George Bush looks good once more thanks to Trump.

    He’s practically on a roll now.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Oh My God.

    He stopped by for a drink. :D He’s Beautiful. 25. Going to University, says I’m his Dream fling.

    He’ll be back to England end of next week. It’s going to be a nice week. :) He even kissed me Good Night in the hall where anyone could see. :)

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Damn, Anna! You got a live one there!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        He’s amazing. Posh accent, charming, Beautiful. Fit. :)

        • Three Finger Salute

          He’s Idris Elba, isn’t he.

          https://hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/idris-elba.jpg

          How the fuck the Bannonoid creatures think they’re better specimens than that man is beyond me.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            No, but I agree Idris is a God.

            My guy is more like Tom Huddleston, but with Gorgeous long hair and glasses, almost too John Lennon in the face.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Oh, you really have picked a winner!

            (Let us know if he has a scar on his forehead that looks like a lightning bolt… ) 😊

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD I almost *never* get weak-kneed over a guy, but yeah. I’m giddy.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          . . . a Thunderwolf.

    • Aggle Wok

      YAY!

    • jesterpunk

      So you could move to England? But really happy for you Anna, glad you had a good time with him.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you. Perhaps we’ll keep in touch after.

        It’s OK, a man that age will want a family a girl his own age. Flings are fine. Ima Cougar and I know it. xD

        • Bobathonic

          Rowr

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Rawwr xD

    • WWWWOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      It’s only disgraceful when black people listen in.

    • Delu

      I mean, it wasn’t…CONFIDENTIAL information or anything like that right?

      So was it so bad that she listened in?

      So bad that it’s worse than Trump lying and being a douche (which he is all the time even without this but still….)

    • Someone better fucking ask Sarah Fuckerbee that tomorrow.
      Sarah, why was it disrespectful for a friend of the family to listen but not for everyone in the room with Trump?

  • jesterpunk

    Michelle I know you don’t want to be back in politics but the country needs you both.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/356287-obama-takes-stage-to-chants-of-four-more-years-at-nj-campaign-event

    “I will refer you to both the Constitution, as well as to Michelle Obama, to explain why that will not happen,” Obama said as he rallied in Newark for Phil Murphy, the Democratic nominee for governor of New Jersey.

    • Three Finger Salute
      • Delu

        Just do better in your next election.

        Well, if there is a next election.

        Or a country by then.

        …ok maybe you DO need help.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Dotard would never do anything without the approval of the Senate. (Right…?)

          https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/t_original/pe7ys28xetqg2ayxkyg3.gif

          Whoops. He nuked the moon because he thought “Some Young Moon” was the name of the North Korean guy…

          • Delu

            Dotard would never do anything without the approval of the Senate.

            You mean like escalate tensions with “Rocket Man” among other things?

          • Or, EO the ACA when congress could not kill it?

          • Delu

            Or back out of the Paris Climate Accord when everyone told him that he should not?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Or slap a 200% tariff on imports of Bombardier X-Wing Fighters…

            https://i.imgflip.com/1xx5yp.jpg

          • Delu

            If there’s ever an actual revolt (though likely it would never happen) in America against him, I’d expect him to go full Palpatine.

            “Your pitiful rebellion..”

          • Three Finger Salute
          • So many ways he does things without approval of..w.ell…anyone who has a brain!

          • Delu

            Well according to him, he knows best.

            Better than all them generals and all his staff.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        I KNEW IT!!! He was born in Alderaan, wasn’t he?

        • Three Finger Salute

          “These aren’t the sekrit birth certificates you’re looking for…”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Delu

      And who told the truth where Trump didn’t.

      To Trumpians, truth matters not where their winning is concerned.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Well of course. That’s why Kelly was sent as the messenger. He’s still the only one who, before his presser, had a shred of believablilty.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      It truly is disgusting beyond comprehension that the WH wants this to be about how the Representative shouldn’t have been there, rather than Trump’s extreme insensitivity to the grief of the deceased’s loved ones. You’re a Gold Star parent, General Kelly; would you have liked it if the President had told you your son asked for it by becoming a soldier?

      • Delu

        It is truly as expected that things turned out this way.

        Every other Trump fart has been like this. Look at that other thing over there, pay no attention to the foul smell in the room.

        In this case, Kelly ADMITTED that Trump LIED. He ADMITTED that Trump WAS callous.

        But Rep Wilson is the devil incarnate.

        Because must deflect from trump…

        • Yep, I totes called it at the time too. “How dare she listen in!!!!! “

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Why oh why can’t black women grieve in a way that doesn’t make Trump look bad?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Because she’s black, DUH!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Y’know, if Kelly thought he was going to damp down the controversy over his Precedent’s bad behavior, I don’t think he thought through the strategy…

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Parakeetist

      Squee splosion

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Hate you. Mean it For Realz, this time.

    • mysonsam

      She is a very lovely young lady, good with crayons too!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That epic pwnage made my day!

      • Parakeetist

        Proud of my grad school alma mater

    • Delu

      More of this and less of Spencer please America. The rest of us are watching.

      Thank you.

    • TJ Barke

      USA! USA!

      • right? this is WONDERFUL!

  • Michael R

    Whatever you think of George W Bush , today he did what none of the cowards in this administration would do , at a time it needed to be done , and did it well .
    He also said ” nucular ” again .

    • Alan

      Maybe someone with someone to lose should speak up. McCain likely won’t be running again, Corker said fuck it. I hope all the assholes who say nothing get pounded in the next cycle.

    • AJ Milne

      The man had people tortured, had them rendered to possibly even more appalling regimes that likewise did, _including_ innocent parties guilty only of vaguely knowing others under suspicion, and who were thus held for years and tortured as a consequence, _and_ began a policy of holding people for years without trial–some of them taken on extremely sketchy battlefield evidence–and that left a mess of the probably mostly innocent and thus prisoners of conscience, and the probably mostly guilty and also deeply problematic, since by rights they _still_ should be released, if the west is ever again to be respected for holding to principles of due process, considering how tainted by ‘enhanced interrogation’ is the evidence against them…

      And that’s before we even _get_ to the war begun on an absolute _howler_ of a pretext.

      Or, let’s be fair, a _series_ of them, traded out as each of the previous became too untenable…

      He’s not wrong. Maybe he’s learned something; I’ll grant him that much. You’d fucking _hope_ so, by now. And anyone saying this from his position and being heard, sure, maybe it helps a bit…

      But it doesn’t get him out of hell.

      Maybe an earlier parole hearing.

  • Picabo

    Katherine Jenkins ‘Requiem for a Soldier’
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfVELFsb96Q

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Goodbye, Reputation of General Kelly. We hardly knew ye…..

      • AJ Milne

        He knew what he was signing up for.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • I am sorry, but this is precisely what this and McCain’s little thing up there is:
    The establishment GOP are the good guys! Don’t be demonizing the GOP now!
    How do I know?
    Where was he about casual cruelty as they hounded trans kids to death?
    Where were his words on demonizing as they LITERALLY CALLED OBAMA A DEMON?
    I do not recall him speaking of dehumanization when the NRA put out those cute liberal hunting stickers.
    For 40 fucking years they have dehumanized and viciously attacked gays, blacks, feminists, transpeople, jews, communists, the poor, the old, the young and liberals in general. Where was his concern, then? Is he just now waking up to what I have always lived with MY ENTIRE LIFE?
    /Just asking questions.
    Until they fucking accept the culpability for their actions, this is just more dog whistling to their “not really racist! Really!” so called moderates to feel better about themselves. We are not the bad guys! Those others are! Really!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      He’s just trying to save the Republican Party, which is, at the moment, a lot like Prometheus getting his guts ripped out by a turkey buzzard (if Republicans had actually brought fire to the party instead of pointing at everyone else’s fire and saying “Bad!”)….

      • At the risk of dehumanizing and whatever, I hope the GOP dies in a fucking fire of factioning votes. They did this to our country. They made us a worse “enemy” than terrorists for fuck’s sake- ask anyone who comments on blightfart (who isn’t a Russian bot). Their fellow countrymen who, despite it all, STILL don’t want to see their stupid fucking red necky red states hurt and try our best to run to their aide whenever they create a fucking crisis.

        I am a little salty, yes.

        • Three Finger Salute
          • That right there is absolutely right.

          • Three Finger Salute

            And the one thing to dread is that it can always get worse. There’s always a chance of primordial slime following Trump.

          • To be sure. There is no getting this genie back in the bottle.

          • Three Finger Salute

            The other possibility is that we all become primordial slime because Trump unleashes the nuclear genie from the bottle.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4df2c9d5dad4dd034d2d7a7d7b8f9b8013fa508bf4eaf514e7fb64519872394a.jpg

          • Delu

            If you ever meet a genie that looks like Trump, run.

            And don’t look back.

          • Amy!

            Coolidge and Hoover don’t even appear in the comic. Not to mention the nineteenth century oddities between Lincoln and TR (no, I don’t remember their names). The line from Eisenhower through GWB is unbroken, though.

          • Did you know when you mention the stock market, it is because of Democrats? Despite, you know, Republicans utterly being in charge preceding that? FDR had a time machine, just like Obama

          • Amy!

            If you’d like a good example of Republican respect for The Soldier™, try looking up the Bonus Army.

            My father, who was a professor of (mostly European) history, gave me a book on (US) history to see if I’d be interested, when I was about thirteen or thereabouts. The Glory and the Dream. It starts with the Bonus Army episode. Made an impact on me (I then spent years reading his library, which was arguably a mistake, as I got exposed to The Theory and Practice of Hell before I was fifteen, and spent half a year in a sort of daze of horror, wondering how many of my classmates and teachers would have been Good Germans in those circumstances).

        • it’s not going to happen. just not.

          i hope to god you are right and i am wrong but i think the utter nightmare that is trump is not going to overcome entre