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Eugene, Oregon, and sloe gin fizz! Or Eugene, Oregon, and this pitcher of beer I am buying you TONIGHT, at Whirled Pies, 199 W. Eighth Ave., where I am also buying you pizza because I am totally like that, and we’re NOT meeting at Armitage Park, because it’s supposed to rain!

We shall see you there from 5 to 8, and there will even be beautiful music, because life and this halfway-vacation I am on are both WONDERFUL!

Speaking of WONDERFUL, look at this penis on my head in Boise! No, not Doktor Zoom.

There were a dozen sexy wonkers there, some who had driven HOURS from Buttfuck, Idaho, to bask in us. So Eugene, you have big clown shoes to fill!

Sacramento, you are on deck for Saturday, 4 to 9, at East Portal Park (we got booze permits!).

And Sonoma, my loves, we are on for Sunday pot luck, 3 to 6 p.m., at the town plaza. In case of rain, we’ll meet up at Mary’s Pizza, which is just right there. I will bring you IMPEACH hats and kisses.

Then we’re on to Avila Beach, Santa Barbara, Orange County, LA, San Diego, and Big Bear! Followed by Las Vegas and Salt Lake City and Helena and maybe OUR HOUSE! (Not our house.)

Keep watching the story linked in the sidebar for further details!

Gas, grass or ass. Mostly gas and grass though.

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  • proudgrampa

    WHOA! If true…

  • heather g-m

    Good call on the location change. See ya tonight

  • Joe Beese

    It did seem like the Mormons around here were a bit nervous lately.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Waves and greetings from Portland… Have fun and enjoy each other, y’all…

  • MynameisBlarney
  • coozledad

    Won’t make it, but I’ll be happy to send a stick of sandalwood incense.

    • Werewolf

      Patchouli or GTFO.

      • coozledad

        Bbbut I made it out of my own sandals.

        All I really keep around the house is the Nag Champa. Buy it in bulk.

  • jesuswasablack

    “sloe gin fizz”http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cdWxIbvfTXo/UV0HGUv2XuI/AAAAAAAAEBg/5KNEaMqYxq4/s1600/getty_rm_photo_of_WC_Fields.jpg

  • DerrickWildcat

    fake news.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Nice picture of you guys!

  • Ricky Gay

    Penis hat!

  • Eileen Besse

    Floriduh says “Hi!” Your weather will be better than ours. [Summer should calm down here in December.]

    • MynameisBlarney

      Yeah, for about a week.

      • Eileen Besse

        Yeah, hahahahahahah–wonder if we’ll even get a mild frost this “winter”?

        • MynameisBlarney

          What is this…”frost” you speak of?

          • Eileen Besse

            About nine+- years ago, I actually scraped enough sleet off our truck’s window to fashion a marble-sized “snowball.” That was the end of it. No vegetation has been touched by frost since three winters ago. Himself actually wears long pants sometimes….

  • MynameisBlarney
    • SeeTrain65

      Oh, to be there when this happened just to say, “What’d you do? FALL IN?”

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Supposed to rain? It’s supposed to dump water and ice on Washington, Oregon, and North Idaho by the foot from now until the end of time (or late next week, whichever comes first.) Flee!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Snowpocalypse? Already?

      • jesterpunk

        China really goes all in with this climate change scam.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Mostly rain for now. Which, of course means mud slides wherever the undergrowth burned up.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Oregon might be getting just the edge of a 5,000 mile long river in the sky…

      https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/atmospheric-river-china-washington_us_59e80ea3e4b00905bdaeb9c9?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

      It’s more lined-up on Washington and BC…

      The edge is seeming like it will be enough…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      We got a couple inches yesterday in Port Angeles. Glad I’ve got lots of indoor projects lined up.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Sounds like big fun.

  • TJ Barke

    I didn’t want to go anyway…

  • MynameisBlarney
    • TJ Barke

      THEY LIED?!

      • MynameisBlarney

        INORITE!?!

        So shocked right now I can’t even.

        • TJ Barke

          It’s inconceivable!

          • MynameisBlarney

            Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

          • Arolpin

            It took every bit of self control I had to not scream out that line when I watched it in the theater last night. I was proud to note that I had more self control than the folks sitting behind me. :)

          • MynameisBlarney

            Hold the phone there, Jackson…
            You saw The Princess Bride? In a THEATER?!?!

            I am so jealous right now I could…I dunno…post something really snarky.
            Or somethin.

          • Arolpin

            Yep. There were showings on Sunday and last night. I even posted that info here, at least a couple times. My sister made sure to post it to Facebook, email me, and text me so that I didn’t miss it. I figured it would sell out, but the theater was largely empty. I think the Sunday shows were much more crowded.

          • SpideySenser

            Hey were you in Boston at the evening with Cary Elwes at the Coolidge? If so, I am SO jealous!

          • Arolpin

            Nope, I was in NJ, and we just had a recorded interview with Rob Reiner before the movie, and an interview after that I didn’t stay for (because my bladder was bursting and my kids had to finish their homework).

          • SpideySenser

            Lucky you!

          • alpacapunchbowl

            One of the indie theatres here in Chicago (Music Box) shows The Princess Bride every year (I think) on Valentines Day. They kind of do it Rocky Horror-style and pass out props to use for various scenes (a circus peanut, a confetti popper for the big kiss, etc). Shouting out the dialogue is encouraged. It’s so fun!

          • Arolpin

            The theater I attended last night STILL does Rocky Horror every weekend. I haven’t been to a midnight RHPS for decades, but in a few years I’ll have to take my twins. I just hope this theater follows proper protocol and has a virgin sacrifice before the film begins. And that the asshole trick of covering your toast with honey or molasses has played itself out.

          • SpideySenser

            Let’s do the time warp again.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Yep, they do it I think once a month. There’s a monthly one up in Milwaukee too, driving into the city to make a night of it was one of our favorite things to do in HS!

          • TakingAmes

            It is my greatest dream to take my kids to RHPS when they’re old enough. I’m sure I’ll embarrass them, but that’s half the point. Okay, the whole point.

          • SpideySenser

            What about the R.O.U.S.’s?

          • TJ Barke

            Republicans Of Utmost Shit?

          • SpideySenser
          • Arolpin

            Rodents of Unusual Size? I don’t think they really exist.

          • BeachBum

            Where is Max ? We need a miracle !

          • SeeTrain65

            “Republicans Own U Suckers?”

    • Paperless Tiger

      Have the swamp-drainers figured out they elected an oligarchy yet?

  • Suttree

    I would like to ask you about this penis mightier.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    But let’s get to the important question: will those “IMPEACH” hats be available for purchase at the Los Angeles gathering? I could use a new running hat, plus maybe an extra one for canvassing in next year’s swing districts (hello, Orange County!)

    • rebecca

      i think MEBBE SO.

    • Major_Major_Major

      As a follow up. does the angry red penis attachment cost extra?

      • Nockular cavity

        Never mind that. I want a t-shirt like Dok’s!

      • clairence

        I didn’t think they acted like that when they were angry.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Someone’s penis is in a very red state.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I got one! It’s fab!

  • Wild Cat

    Some younger idiot I used to be friendly with said that the US was a better place when the hippies were in power.

    What the fuck do they teach in NYC public schools?

    • Lascauxcaveman

      And also, when where the hippies ever actually in power, too?

      • Nockular cavity

        During the Wavy Gravy administration, duh.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Oh, that’s right. Now I remember, Ken Kesey was the Secretary of Acid. And Ram Dass was the other Secretary of Acid.

        • rebecca

          I danced with Wavy Gravy on Earth Day when I was 15 ;)

      • TakingAmes

        Maybe he meant pre-European America. I hear many of the Native Americans had long hair. It’s an easy mistake to make.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • MynameisBlarney
    • TJ Barke

      Illegitimate president, illegitimate justice.

    • Major_Major_Major

      I’m going with John Roberts. Fucking Gorsuch is so foul he ALMOST makes me wish for zombie Alito.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I dunno. Doesn’t seem like her style. Not sure who it would be, though. It’s some good tea, regardless!
      So the other justices didn’t take kindly to the fact that basically the first thing this twat did was start lecturing THEM on the Constitution in open court? How very odd.

      • TJ Barke

        He’s a Federalist twit, that’s all they know how to do.

        • MynameisBlarney

          You spelled twat wrong.

          • SisterArtemis

            Twat libulz. Also too, makes me think of Betty White’s line: “If you really want to get tough, grow a vagina! Those things take a pounding!”

    • Cock Blockula

      Hoping they “mean girls” him off the bench.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Send him runnin home to mama cryin his eyes out.

  • chascates

    I’M STILL STUCK IN TEXAS!!!!!

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Daniel
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Don’t let me be within 500 miles of him. Just don’t.

      • SisterArtemis

        Somehow your statement makes me want to drive you right to him.

    • TakingAmes

      I thought that former FEMA guy gave him an A+. Now I’m confused.

    • SeeTrain65

      He grabbed PR by its pussy, I guess.

      No wonder he gives it a 10. It’s hot and he’s enjoying fucking it.

  • BadKitty904

    Dave’s not here. man…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is something that has driven dispensary operators crazy, I’m sure…

      • BadKitty904

        I could see that.

      • SeeTrain65

        “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Funny. Indica or sativa?”

  • btwbfdimho

    Is that the new IMPALE hat?
    Asking for a friend.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “I did not impale.” — Vlad Tepes.

  • arglebargle
  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh. OK. So I won’t be bringing any hotdogs or buns or other stuff. That makes this easy! Glad we waited on the potato salad!

    See you there!

    • SisterArtemis

      Yay! Looking forward to meeting you!

      • shivaskeeper

        As am I.

    • rebecca

      well we could have taken it off your hands ;)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I will bring some condiments for future use along the tour!

  • SisterArtemis

    Eugene-ish wonkers, looking forward to seeing you at Whirled Pies, downtown! I’d like to note that this is the place Peter DeFazio holds his election night gatherings, as well as the very spot where I watched Mitt Romney give his (befuddled) concession speech on the big screen, one wonderful autumn night not all that long ago.

    Sad about the rain, but very happy to gather with the local Wonketariat.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Peter DeFazio is a great Congress critter…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        According to an unimpeachable source (The Onion) he was the last remaining Congresscritter alive after the great 2010 meltdown.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Peter is deep blue liberal in the way Bernie Sanders thinks he is…

  • shivaskeeper

    Well then. I can leave the canopies and grill at home. Less things to travel with.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Damn. I haven’t played that accordion in Aaaaaages. Thanks for the memory.

  • clairence

    When I first moved here in the late 80s, there were still quite a few of those folks in the first picture. Not so much now, except for a few days in the summer.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You have to view them in their natural habitat, the Oregon Country Fair, weekend after the Fourth of July, in the wilds near Veneta.

      • FerociousFelineFoster

        So true. I know a number of grown up type people (ie: old) who have been going for years and years, and others that are younger that went as kids every year, and now go on their own. It’s a fun scene, but far too many humans there for me to want to go every year.

      • clairence

        Exactly. Those are the few days in the summer to which I was referring.

  • Arse Grammatica

    You have a nice penis.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I will be there!

  • Beanz&Berryz
  • ibwilliamsi

    So jealous…

  • SDGeoff3
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Even newspaper typesetting software has auto-correct!

    • jesuswasablack
      • SDGeoff3

        I heart B & B.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      yeah, I was freaked the first time I heard them call it cornholing.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I just still quietly chuckle to myself…

      • Courser_Resistance

        ‘…winning cornhole teams…’ ::: smirk:::

      • SeeTrain65

        I thought all the old people in my community were freaky.

        Then I found out it was just “Horseshoes with bean bags.” Took all the mystery out of it.

    • SeeTrain65

      This is a perfectly acceptable conversation made before playing.

      Player 1: “How do you play?”
      Player 2: “You take this and put it in the hole.”
      Player 1: “It’s got to go in the hole, from here?”
      Player 2: “Well, if you’re young, we’ll let you get right up against it. Wouldn’t want you to strain yourself.”
      Player 1: “Can I slide it in?”
      Player 2: “Doesn’t matter. Just as long as it goes in.”

      • SDGeoff3

        I don’t believe they ask that many questions in La Mesa.

  • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

    You *will* let us know should you ever decide to visit flyover country, yes?

    • Lily412

      I think us east-coasters are out of luck entirely.

      • They cruised by the east durin the ‘lection. FUN WAS HAD. But not by me cause my car broked

  • Jennifer R

    Sacramento, looking forward to this!

  • Tony Prost

    San Diego on my birthday! Buy me drink, Wonkmistress!

    • rebecca

      YER ON.

  • Courser_Resistance

    I’m so glad you are having happy good times!

  • Marsupial99

    We are in for San Diego!!

  • Grumpy Old Man

    How did you get that penis to stay upright?

    • Put it over her pussy hat?

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Viagra is now available as a nasal spray

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Just got back from the Eugene drinkythingy. Pizza and beer for everyone (juice for Donna Rose, who is every bit as fabulous in person!). Met a number of Eugene area wonkers in their real life personas, or what passes for real life in a town with 50 cannabis dispensaries.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Omg you had the chance to touch our future holy overlord, Donna the First of her badass Kind…?!?!?!?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I was so blessed. shivaskeeper got a fistful of bumper stickers from her!

  • Zyxomma

    Careful with that axe, Eugene.

  • Ill-Advised

    Sadly, I find myself still here, on account of life happening when I thought I already had it all planned. However, I hope y’all had a wonderful time!

  • phoenix00
  • Subrok

    No stop in Seattle this year? I’m hurt!

    It was my fault wasn’t it?

  • laura

    Hey Editrix, please check your email for important/exciting Sacto info!

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