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Oyez! New episodes from the hit White House Series So You Think You Can Muslim Ban just dropped! The Season Three opener, Six Venezuelans and Kim Jong Un, started strong with federal judges in Hawaii and Maryland telling Donald Trump once again that his Travel Ban is an illegal piece of crap.

SYTYCMB superfans will remember that Trump’s first Muslim Ban was blocked by lower federal courts, and his second order lapsed on the Supreme Court’s doorstep. So the White House knew they’d have to tighten it up to keep the excitement going for Season Three.

“Let’s add North Korea!” They said, “No Muslims there! Plus Poppy’s already been barking vague threats toward Venezuela. If we add backdoor sanctions on a handful of South American Catholics, we can flip off two birds with one stone!” So they patted themselves on the back for being the cleverest little bigots in the land and went about dummying up a justification based on passport security procedures in the banned countries.

But then a nasal voice rang out. It was Rancid Little Weenus Stephen Miller.

“Chad,” He whined, “We have to add Chad!” And the State Department shouted, “Are you out of your mind? Chad has helped us fight Islamic terrorists for years!” But they were no match for The Weenus, so Chad got added to the list. And then PLOT TWIST, the government of Chad responded by pulling troops out of the fight against Boko Haram in Nigeria. Well played, Weenus!

The Hawaii Order

US District Judge Derrick Watson mostly steered clear of Constitutional issues in his Temporary Restraining Order, relying on the 1965 Immigration and Nationality Act (INA). In 1965, Congress decided to get rid of country-based quotas, which are hella racist, and instead prioritize reunification of families. So Trump and The Weenus can jump up and down shouting NATIONAL SECURITY! SCARY MUSLIMS! all they want, but they can’t just take us back to a system based on nation of origin when the law specifically says,

No person shall receive any preference or priority or be discriminated against in the issuance of an immigrant visa because of his race, sex, nationality, place of birth, or place of residence[.]

And Judge Watson is not having any of the White House’s bullshit about objective criteria based on passport procedures in the banned countries. For instance, Somalia met White House passport requirements, but wound up on the list because reasons. But Belgians, whose passport procedures are a hot mess, can waltz right in. And while Judge Watson is on the subject, he’d like to know why the plaintiff’s Syrian granny is too dangerous to visit, but a teenager who was born in Lebanon and then raised in Syria can march right into the consulate and apply for a visa.

Why, it’s almost like nationality-based bans are just a gesture designed to show the pitchfork mob that Donald Trump DID TOO do something about those scary Muslim furriners!

Look for Jeff Sessions to reprise his complaints about some uppity “judge sitting on an island in the Pacific.” That train is never late.

The Maryland Order

The Maryland Order is less Aloha and more Piss Off You Dotty Orange Racist. And once again, Donald Trump’s Twitter feed is Exhibit A. Because if you spend six months tweeting that it IS TOO a Travel Ban …

… and that you’ve had it up here with this watered-down, PC bullshit …

… and your order tells DHS to go find you a list of countries to ban …

[t]he Secretary of Homeland Security, in consultation with the Secretary of State and the Attorney General, shall submit to the President a list of countries recommended for inclusion in a Presidential proclamation that would prohibit the entry of appropriate categories of foreign nationals of countries that have not provided the information requested[.]

then you’re still stuck with all that racist shit you said about a Muslim Ban in the first place, MORON.

As Judge Theodore Chuang put it,

Based on the facts that the Proclamation’s ban generally resembles President Trump’s earlier description of the Muslim ban, EO-2 dictated the Proclamation’s outcome of a recommended list of nations to be subjected to a travel ban, the criteria used to select countries were highly correlated with those used to select the countries for EO-2, the terms of the Proclamation’s travel ban skew against Muslim nations as compared to the objective measures applied in the DHS Review, and the proposed response has not been adequately explained as a necessary one to the identified problem, the Court cannot conclude that the Proclamation sufficiently offers a “purposeful” curative action that establishes that the taint of EO-2 no longer underlies the travel ban.

Translation: STILL A MUSLIM BAN. STILL VIOLATES THE ESTABLISHMENT CLAUSE.

So, now what?

So now, the grownups will litigate and President Diapershits will complain on Twitter. The Trump administration’s insistence that the Travel Ban is absolutely necessary for national security got a resounding BITCH, PLEASE from both judges in Hawaii and Maryland. If we were a betting man, we’d guess that an appeals court might grant the president a little more deference. DHS is also getting better at not telegraphing the racism directly, but who knows what Poppy will blurt out when he’s at the next Roy Moore rally. Will he snatch defeat from the jaws of victory by shouting, “We’re keeping those radical Moozlims out with this new Executive Order?” PROBABLY.

We do live in interesting times!

[Hawaii TRO, via Politico / Maryland TRO / Second EO]

Please contribute to your Wonkette! Those legal briefs aren’t gonna read themselves!

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  • Joe Beese
    • Mr. Blobfish

      Good thing he appeared in public. There was rumblings he was an illeagle working illeagly at MGM, possibly a Dreamer who has the goods on Hillary and the Russian Benghazis.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Did he answer Wayne Allen Root’s pressing questions on whether was the illegals?

  • ManchuCandidate

    I think I can I think I can I think can.
    -The Little Hand that Would

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Yeah, well fuck Chad. He and his GTOW pals all voted for Trump.

  • Let me throw out a conspiracy here just for fun.

    Step 1) Trump adds Chad to the list of travel banned countries.
    Step 2) Chad pulls military out of fight for boko haram
    Step 3) Special forces in the region, fighting boko haram, are overwhelmed, have bad intelligence, etc.. because of the chad pull out
    Step 4) 4 Special forces die in Niger (since they are right on the border to each other)
    Step 5) Trump tries to trump up this feud with soldier killed family to distract public from asking what really happened
    Step 6) At some future point, analysts and investigators will determine that the direct result of these 4 soldiers death can be attributed directly back to Trump’s EO

    • From the article:
      “were on their back from a meeting with local community leaders when they were ambushed by a group of 50 ISIS-affiliated fighters (read boko haram) armed with machine guns and rocket propelled grenades”

      http://time.com/4986918/us-military-niger-soldier-deaths-investigaton/

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Chad pull out”. Never a good thing.

      • PubOption

        In this case Chad left us hanging.

    • bubbuhh

      Is Chad Thundercock really an Islam. Wowserz. Must really shrink the nads of MGTOWs to know that.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        He is the Shiek of Araby.

    • Daniel

      7) Trump will blame the media for noticing, and the soldiers themselves for dying. Again. Then he’ll blame Chad and declare war.
      8) He will have become President at that moment.

  • Mavenmaven

    You’d think the Republicans would like those chads.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Only the well-hung ones. Allegedly.

  • WhoCheckedRussia’sVoterID

    trump: I wanna be a racist!
    Court: No

    Its a simple lesson. I can understand why trump can’t get it.

    • FlownΩver

      Because trump, silly.

  • Scooby

    Trump is trying to ban everything Arabic. I asked XXIV friend and they agree.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    The Trumpanzees are already trashing both judges on Facebook and Twitter as “Obama-appointed Muslim lovers”. Some have said things that really should have the U.S. Marshals concerned.

  • Joe Beese
    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Youse know, the dame with the gams.

    • Shibusa

      President ADHD had no idea what her name was, or what her husband’s name was.

      • Joe Beese

        He’s got a lot to deal with!

        • Paperless Tiger

          But not a full deck.

      • jesterpunk

        He has more important things to worry about like twitting about the NFL players kneeling or someone hurting his feelings.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        “Must be Lincoln or Jackson or something. All the coloreds have those last names.”- Donald Trump

      • wide_stance_hubby

        “Well, you know, black, so it’s probably some hard-to-pronounce African name the media will fry me for getting wrong, so why bother?”

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      “I asked her if she wanted to come over, see if she wanted to go furniture shopping. I popped a few tic-tacs in my mouth.”- Donald Trump

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      He also said when asked if he’s challenging the Congresswoman’s assertions that if she repeats them “you’ll find out”.

      • cmd resistor

        Which makes SO much sense.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Tune in next week. Same batshit crazy time, same batshit crazy station.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      One would be as likely to get empathy and humanity from one of these. In fact, more likely.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d8378eb4b2925d017f967a93a081e716afb47a4cd8d069c2d5ba135683c45378.jpg

      • ahughes798

        Such a purty smile!

    • GoutMachine

      “The woman, what’shername, I don’t know. Who could know everyone’s name? Besides, is she even a 10? Doubt it.”

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Amazingly, he didn’t tell her she was lucky because, being pregnant, he probably would have cheated on her with a girl who hadn’t lost her figure.

  • weejee

    telling Donald Trump once again that his Travel Ban is an illegal piece of crap.

    telling Donald tRump once again the he is an illegal piece of crap.

    / fixed

  • Mr. Blobfish

    We have ended finally the war on clean, beautiful coal. People are going back to work. Over the last nine months we have removed job-killing regulations at a record pace. In fact, in nine months, we have done more, they say, than any President in history.

    Guess who?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Blacky McLung?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      His jizz-lobbing staff?

    • weejee

      Guess who?

    • OrG

      Psycho sarah?

      • Daniel

        Qu’est-ce c’est?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Trump

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Wait. I thought the answer to that question was always Hitler.

    • jesterpunk

      WAR ON COAL!!!!ELEVENTY!!!

      http://www.newsweek.com/trump-cant-bring-back-mining-jobs-574766

      Robert Murray, founder and chief executive of Murray Energy—the nation’s largest privately held coal mining company—told the Guardian that many mining jobs were lost to technology and competition, rather than regulation.

      Also just because

      http://i.imgur.com/5dXdPYl.gif

  • Beanz&Berryz

    “Based on the facts that the Proclamation’s ban generally resembles…” That’s alot of smack down in one sentence…

    • SayItWithWookies

      “Facts” being the biggest club in the bag.

  • FlownΩver

    Funny how that spite-wing demagoguery keeps coming back to bite you in the ass, DONALD!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Well since it’s been longer than 90 days from the issuance of Mooslim Ban Original, I’m sure this nimble and competent administration has figured out what the hell is going on and the ban’s not even necessary anymore, right?

    • Crystalclear12

      You made a funny!

  • Crystalclear12

    I long for the blessing of boredom.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    So he won’t win until he gets his taint off the EO-2?

    • SayItWithWookies

      T’ain’t gonna happen.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Wait… From Dirk’s comment below… Chad pulling out of fight with boko haram is connected to US military deaths in Niger!? Really??

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Oh, Jeff Sessions already said the ban is essential along with getting rid of Daca in today’s senate testimony. So they’re already on it.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Jeffy Elf in da House!

    • proudgrampa

      Gaaah. What A EEEdiot!!!

    • cmd resistor

      I saw a story about some judge ordering the administration to turn over all documents related to the decision to end DACA.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The countries of the world should issue a travel ban on Americans just to see Trump’s reaction.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Nobody else is that stupid.

    • OrG

      Fuck tRump. My reaction would be HELL NO!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      The EU actually did something like this, revoking American’s visa free privileges, I believe.

  • Oblios_Cap

    And then PLOT TWIST, the government of Chad responded by pulling troops out of the fight against Boko Haram in Nigeria. Well played, Weenus!

    Those 4 soldiers weren’t operating out of Chad, were they? Chadghazi could be a real thing.

  • TJ Barke

    Is self harm against The Rules?

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Nyet.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Depends. Are you drinking yourself to death, or proposing that others engage in self-harming behavior, such as for example, “Jeff Sessions should jump off the nearest bridge” just as an example of things you should not recommend.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I, for example, would never wish that Jeff “Dobby” Sessions be struck by Belletrix Lestrange’s knife whilst rescuing Harry Potter.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          It would be real sad if he tripped in front of a moving train, too.

    • AJ Milne

      … umm… just what are you considering?

      … I mean, if you’re mulling actually eating something from one of Trump’s dining rooms or some damned fool thing, please remember you have friends and much to live for.

  • Christopher Story

    Miller is another one of those ignorant little shits who thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room. And then whines about persecution when his “Smartest Smart Guy Plan Ever(TM)” blows up in his face. This guy wants his ass kissed on both cheeks while we thank him for the privilege.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Given his inexperience, it is entirely plausible that Trump expressed real sorrow somewhat inarticulately…”.

    –Chris Ciliiza, just now

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Shut the fuck up Chris, you’re out of your element.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I wondered aloud this morning how long it would take before the “give him a chance, he’s new at this” excuse would propagate.

        • Suttree

          I thought they finally let that excuse go. I was wrong. When does “new at this” no longer apply? And why didn’t I get that job running a nuclear reactor? I read a book about Chernobyl once, and have watched part of The China Syndrome.

          • cmd resistor

            As Ben Carson would say, it’s not rocket science, I mean brain surgery.

        • cmd resistor

          Well according to him he’s called everybody so he’s NOT new at it.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            As always, this is where the Schrodinger’s Idiot right wing parallel universe comes into play. He’s both called every widow every time AND so completely new at this that he can’t be expected to get it right the first time.

    • Suttree

      And they pay this asshole for this shit. Why oh why was I raised with morals?!

    • OrG

      STFUSTFUSTFU!!!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Let’s vote CC into office. Or orbit.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        But he’s only been a sociopath for 70 years…he still has time to learn!

        • wide_stance_hubby

          The Dolt abrades.

      • mirele

        I vote for Mars, one way.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Up he goes, then it’s up to him and his personal responsibility to find a destination.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        The Orbit Office.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I’m so happy Cillizza is putting his former skills as a pet psychic to good use.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Fuck Cillizza.

    • AJ Milne

      I should like to point out that, while I went with it being Paul Ryan*, I pretty much called this…

      … I can haz half points?

      (*Okay, in fairness, points for this, had it been, should probably be pretty negligeable.)

    • Daniel

      Inexperience with human emotions, yes.

      I mean, seriously- this is not actually something you need to be trained to do. People respond with compassion to others’ suffering all the time without having to have had years in politics to learn how. For fuck’s sake- stop cutting this man slack.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Not to mention that there is a well-established official protocol for what to say in this situation….generals, presidents etc. have been doing it for a couple hundred years in this country. Yes, of course it is a difficult moment, but his asshole went off script, tried to fake empathy, and failed spectacularly.

    • Crank Tango

      What would the Clementine Usurper know about human feelings, anyway?

    • Chyron HR

      See, that’s why you don’t want someone with experience and preparation like Clinton. Raises expectations too high.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Plus, those pantsuits….

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Why didn’t Clinton call the next-of-kin? What is she hiding?

        • Chyron HR

          That’s “Shadow President Clinton”, per Fox News.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Oh, how I wish!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Wasn’t she in Niger right about that time? Hmmm…..

          • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

            Nighazie!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

      It’s called narcissism. He has no empathy, and is too stupid to feign it for the benefit of others.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’m wondering how deep in his ass Ciliiza had to reach to find the “it is entirely plausible” part about Trump having human emotions. Mother of God.

    • JustPretendImNotHere

      “Given his very being, it is entirely plausible that Chris Ciliza is a right asshole

      And you may quote me on that…

    • NastyBossetti

      I am also inexperienced at being POTUS, but I have myself successfully uttered “I’m sorry for your loss” many, many times in my life, without making someone’s grief worse than it already was. He expressed “real sorrow” inarticulately because he doesn’t know what real sorrow is, he doesn’t know what it feels like, and he wasn’t even trying to articulate it.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That is really all you have to say, all you can or really should say. Grieving people know that you cannot explain away their sorrow, they don’t expect you to. To try to do so is insulting, presumptuous, and only inflicts deeper injury on them.

    • Arolpin

      I searched his twitter feed to tell him he’s a fucking waste of skin, but when I found the article, it’s not quite as loathsome if it’s read in context:

      Short of Wilson totally lying about the
      nature of the conversation, the best possible explanation for Trump is
      that what he said was misinterpreted. Calling a recently widowed woman
      of a soldier killed in action is an incredibly difficult thing to do.
      That’s especially true for Trump who, as a businessman prior to running
      for office in 2016, never had to do anything remotely like this.
      Given
      that inexperience, it’s absolutely plausible that Trump expressed a
      real sorrow somewhat inarticulately, leaving Johnson’s widow and Wilson
      upset. And that Trump did so entirely unintentionally.

      He is basically saying that the BEST explanation is that Drumpf is inexperienced and incompetent, and the point of the article is that this is an unforced error. The tone is still entirely too fucking deferential, but he does basically lay out that Drumpf has over 1300 documented lies, and that the Congresswoman does not, so odds are we know who is lying.

      Cilizza is still a piece of shit ‘both-sides’-er, but in this case it’s not blatant stupidity.

    • Dg Hacket

      His inexperience having human emotions

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Or he’s just a vulgar, ignorant, cowardly, narcissistic asshole. Which explanation seems more likely?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “You gonna believe me or your lyin’ eyes?”

  • I so very much wish some staffer at State would send an email to Mr. Trump suggesting he add Wakanda to the travel ban.

    Maybe Latveria too.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Our Diplomat would be cross!

    • GoutMachine

      Don’t forget about the Republic of Zubrowka!

    • clubseal

      How dare you suggest we lose access to valuable deposits of Vibranium!11!!

    • Nockular cavity

      Send send him on an Official Visit to Freedonia

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        That only takes him to western New York.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I have no use for Graustark. Shifty, dancing Graustarkians! Raus mit!

  • Carpe Vagenda

    I’m privately convinced that Miller added Chad as a shoutout to his MRA buddies at Reddit.

    • Daniel

      “Steve, are you sure LOLland is a real country?”
      “It’s Stephen and yes.”
      “And Kekistan…”
      “YES! God!”

    • The Wanderer

      Or he’s trying to ban Chad Thundercock from entering the country.

  • Shibusa

    Thank Gawd we’re all able to say “Merry Christmas” again. Very amusing mash up!
    http://amp.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2015/12/22/video_obama_saying_merry_christmas.html

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
  • The Wanderer

    We’re going to have to entirely gut the White house down to the bare walls and rebuild after Trump’s gone, aren’t we?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      If we want to get rid of all the bugs, yes.

      • Crank Tango

        Also the Russian listening devices, heyooo.

    • GoutMachine

      Ain’t no level of fumigation that will get rid of the stank and the skank.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Cleansing pyre.

    • Crystalclear12

      Remember in Dune when they were moving in and had look for assassins inside the walls?
      Yeah. . .

      • Nockular cavity

        We’re gonna need a bigger sandworm.

        • Teto85

          You owe me a new keyboard!!

    • proudgrampa

      To the studs.

    • Teto85

      Just like the Playboy Mansion

    • mailman27

      Fumigate.

  • GoutMachine

    Why, it’s almost like nationality-based bans are just a gesture designed to show the pitchfork mob that Donald Trump DID TOO do something about those scary Muslim furriners!

    I first read that last bit as “Muslim furriers,” which gave me a great idea about a sitcom: The misadventures of a kooky Muslim family living somewhere in British Columbia.

    • Suttree

      Is there a pet beaver? I would totally watch that if there is.

      • Oblios_Cap

        We should be the pitchfork mob (with torches), not those clowns.

      • GoutMachine

        Of course! A sassy one, in the mold of Alf, always trying to dismantle the house for dam-building. That rascal!

        • Suttree

          No cat eating though! (/ffs why do I remember that?)

          • clubseal

            Sounds like the Trump household vis a vis the eating of pussy.

          • Suttree

            Idiot alien creature, check.

    • therblig

      Allah in the Family

      • GoutMachine

        YES!

      • Teto85

        Little Mosque on the Prairie. Oops, already taken.

      • Cat Cafe

        Aasif Mandvi actually did do a show called Halal in the Family

    • harryr

      Canadian No Bacon?

    • Stulexington

      Yeah, can’t be in the prairies, they already have http://www.cbc.ca/littlemosque/

      • Nockular cavity

        Beat me to it.

      • Teto85

        My cousin and her wife live about halfway between Mercy and Dog River.

    • Dg Hacket

      Little mosque on the prairie

  • Shibusa
    • proudgrampa

      Fuck that little shitweasel…

  • Courser_Resistance

    Jeebus on a cracker, Miller probably thinks he’s banning Chad Thundercock from America. No more sex for womenz, I guess?

    • Suttree

      GMTA

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Somehow I think we’ll manage.

  • Suttree

    Miller is probably a MGTOW. he’s just pissed at all of the Chads out there.

    • MynameisBlarney

      All the pendulous, swinging Chads.

    • Oblios_Cap

      The Quintessential Incel.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        The Epitome of the Quintessential Incel.

    • OrG

      Seems more like an incel.

    • TimResistit

      He heard a lot of them were ‘hung’, too.

      • Suttree

        Ugh. I laughed though. :)

  • Baconzgood

    So he couldn’t get health care repealed, he can’t get his wall, he can’t get taxes, or Muslim ban. What can he do?

    • GoutMachine

      STFU and get off this planet?

      • clubseal

        Nah, he probably already cut NASA’s budget.

        • GoutMachine

          Help us, Elon Musk, you’re our only hope!

          • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

            No there is another…

          • clubseal

            That sounds kind of like the plot of this show “Salvation” on Amazon. Kind of shitty acting, but it was science-y enough to bring Neil Degrasse Tyson on board, so I enjoy that.

          • Teto85

            In Episode 4 of the new Star Trek show the captian asks a reluctant science officer “Do you want to be remembered with the Wright Brothers, Elon Musk and Zephram Cochrane or do just want to quit?’ Or something like that.

        • Suttree

          Well, they aren’t allowed to study climate any more.

          • clubseal

            “What’s the climate got to do with the space?”
            – Trump supporters, apparently

          • Suttree

            “I can see the climate from my front porch!”

    • OrG

      Twit.

    • bubbuhh

      #TrumpMorons #TrumpLies #TrumpSteals #TrumpKills

      • Suttree

        #TurnipGropes

    • proudgrampa

      Unfortunately, he can Push The Button.

    • Suttree

      Make America the laughing stock of the world? Ya know, for someone who is always worried about people laughing at us, he sure as fuck ain’t helping none.

    • jesterpunk

      Break shit and insult people?

    • Crank Tango

      Work on his shitty golf game?

    • TundraGrifter

      Tweet. That will Make America Great Again.

      • cmd resistor

        He finally made a tweet about the California fires.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          For or against?

          • cmd resistor

            Our hearts are with all and we support you. Yay FEMA and First Responders.

        • ahughes798

          Well, only 40 or so people were killed, so not that big a deal. He has bigger issues to tweet about…like lying Congresswomen, etc.

    • TJ Barke

      Piss and moan. He’s real good at that.

    • Stulexington

      Throw a tantrum and refuse to fund the government until he gets all the things, at which point congress has to work together with the Democrats to get enough votes to override his veto.

      What I’m saying is we get bipartisan democracy out of the most powerful baby in the free world throwing a massive tantrum.

    • mardam422

      Lots of people are saying he’s done more than any President in history. Lots…of…people.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Fuck us six ways to Sunday.

      Pretend to drive a truck.

      Turn the country over to Putin.

      Start a nucular war.

      Lotsa stuff.

    • Lily412

      Lie. Including to himself.

    • Teto85
  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Trump wanted to block Chad in order to throw a boner to the incels.

    This shit is so easy to figure out.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT Nice Time Post.

    Whilst paying for lunch at the register at Publix earlier today a woman handed me her card as she walked past me.
    The card says “Dolores Mexican Food Truck”.

    Fuck you dotard! I got my taco truck now, motherfucker!

    • TundraGrifter

      We were driving though Oakland a couple of days ago and we stopped at the Guadalajara Restaurant food truck on Fruitvale, near the bridge. Damn they make a good burrito!

      • Teto85

        I spotted them about a week ago whilst visiting friends over there. They make a damn good burrito. I told my friends and we had to go find them because they all wanted something from that truck. I could not eat another burrito that day and so had to take one home for lunch the next. They make damn good burritos. Now I wish Hilz had won so we could have taco trucks on every other street corner.

        • TundraGrifter

          Interestingly enough, the burritos from the truck are better than from the adjacent restaurant. Go figure…

    • Wonky Magoo

      What an unusual name!

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Not at all. The Food Truck family is well known in that part of the US.

        • mailman27

          Se was always the sad one.

    • I want a taco truck to just follow me around.

    • MrTusks

      The irony is that in this meme the baby had just shoved a fistful of sand in his mouth.

      • MynameisBlarney

        That’s what he was going for, and he did it, by goawd!

      • ahughes798

        Everyone needs a little roughage in their diet.

  • TJ Barke

    Who wants to come over to my house and teach me metalworking?

    • Zyxomma

      What kind?

      • TJ Barke

        I don’t know, hence the need for teaching.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Mr. Trump is not good at his job.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I beg to disagree. He is the bigliest bestest cockholster that Putin could ask for. That President thing is just his cover.

    • clairence

      I think that depends on what you think his job is. I am fairly certain you and he have different perspectives on that.

      • Lily412

        I honestly think he believes his job is “King of America.”

  • Zonath

    Haven’t we figured out what’s going on yet? Why is the government so fucking pathetic at figuring out what’s going on???

  • Cat Cafe

    The judge even got the word taint in there. Bravo judge!

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Maybe, just maybe, if they spell it “Muslln” that might pass judicial muster. Yeah, let’s try that.

    • Lily412

      They can call it a “muslin” ban and claim they’re just really against scratchy fabrics.

      • Zyxomma

        Hey! A fitting muslin is how one creates a designer dress without wasting (by cutting into) expensive fabric. Make the design in cheap cotton, put it on the dress form (or actual person), then make whatever changes are needed before cutting into that $85 a yard silk brocade.

        And not all muslin is scratchy; some of it is quite fine.

        • Lily412

          The more you know!

  • mardam422

    “As Judge Theodore Chuang put it,….”
    Here we go.

  • Ed Farmingtoner

    La Ilaha ill Al-Trump… Hannity ul rasool al Trump!
    Trump hu Akbar!!

    There is only one Trump and Hannity is his messenger.. Trump is great!

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Ph’nglui mglw’nafh CTrumphu R’aLago wgah’nagl fhtagn.

      • Ed Farmingtoner

        Translation please..

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          “In his house at (ma)R’aLago, dead CTrumphu waits dreaming”

          • Th’ottest curry in th’ouse

            Iä! Iä! C’Trumphu fhtagn! Bigly!

      • kareemachan

        Cthulhu might not like this….

        • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

          Good. Maybe he’ll vaporize the impostor.

    • We should expel states like California and New York from America. We don’t need their liberal values and lousy contributions to the nation’s GDP. We only need Pres. Tump and God (if available).

      NICE!
      How about this- all the rich liberal states kick out the poor garbage red states! Let’s see how much you want smaller government then, sparky

  • Shibusa

    O/T but the Trumpkins are in a tizzy over the Russian bribery/Uranium One story. They’re just sure that Hillz nd Bamz are going to jail. Plus this, which made me :-) https://twitter.com/chunkled/status/918302283498172416

    • dshwa

      Read The Hill piece. It’s all innuendo by association. The indicted guy knew a guy who knew someone who gave to the Clinton foundation. Bill gave speeches in Russia. People wondered if giving to the foundation would influence the outcome, but didn’t actually say if we give we’ve been assured success. It’s all speculation, no substance. Just like always.

      • But but but CLINTON

        • dshwa

          That’s always the gist of it.

      • CafeenMan

        Sounds irrefutable to me.

  • marxalot

    Incel Stevie was complaining not about the country Chad, but about the desirable human males that heterosexual women want to sleep with, referred to as “Chads” by his hideous community of ingrown misogynists.

    • TakingAmes

      I refer to men I’d never in this world, not if you paid me, sleep with as Chads. Usually they wear pink pants and USC Gamecocks baseball caps.

      • marxalot

        I’ve always called those guys “Josh.”

  • whitroth

    We need *someone* to pick up the most dangerous terrorist in the world, right now, and put him somewhere, I dunno, maybe Gitmo. He’s about yea-high, too heavy, and has an orange face…..

    • kareemachan

      Tiny…. hands, roadkill on top of his head, incoherent…

  • SullivanSt

    No President has been slapped around as much by the courts in just 9 months.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Another record!

    • Jesse

      No previous president has needed it.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Hey Dolt, Muslim bans are banned by the constitution and precedent. Your ban is banned already. Quit trying to thwart the constitution and start upholding it LIKE THE PRESIDENTIAL OATH SAYS YOU WILL.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      He had his fingers crossed.

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    Judge Chuang, eh? Sounds kinda MOOSLIM to me!

  • Lily412

    Every time I read about this dumbass administration shooting itself in the foot, the Benny Hill music plays in my head. (Yakety sax?)

    • Cliff Hendroval

      Yep. The original was by Boots Randolph, IIRC.

  • What’s it matter if they are getting better at not telegraphing the racisms, when they have already done so oodles of time in the past?
    They can keep pointing to that and going no, stupid heads, no.

  • Zyxomma

    But I don’t WANNA live in such interesting times. I want to wake up in the alternate universe where Hillary won the EC, or where the EC had done their actual fucking job.

  • David Chaillou

    Jesus, when you wrote that Miller wanted to ban Chad, I thought it was some kind of MGTOW thing.
    Memo to selves: stop reading Wonkette at 1 am.

    • HarpyLibtart

      I did too!
      Weenus Miller seems like the poster boy for the redpill community and I was trying to figure out how he had managed to swing a legal definition of ‘Chad’…
      Then I felt like A Idiot. :P

  • CafeenMan

    Why aren’t we banning middle aged white guys from Las Vegas???

  • Celtic_Gnome

    …the Court cannot conclude that the Proclamation sufficiently offers a “purposeful” curative action that establishes that the taint of EO-2 no longer underlies the travel ban.

    Heh, heh. He said taint.

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