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KISSES GOODBYE

Sure, Anthony Scaramucci’s a fuckwit, but we thought he was our kind of fuckwit. You know, the kind that gets loaded and says, “I’m not Steve Bannon, I’m not trying to suck my own cock!” He’s that asshole you go to lunch with once a year to remind yourself to be grateful for your own wonderful husband. Just never let him pick up the tab, though, or he’ll start thinking it’s a date! You know, a run-of-the-mill jerk. After he spilled the beans to Ryan Lizza at The New Yorker and got fired from his sweet White House gig, we thought, “Well, maybe that guy will land on his feet. He can be like a Mo Rocca of the right.”

NOPENOPENOPE!!!!

Did you just give a reacharound to every rightwing Holocaust-denying loon? How fucking desperate are you for retweets, Ant’nee?

Now don’t get your yarmulke in a bunch, Wonkers, because Mooch’s social media manager Lance Laifer has a perfectly logical explanation. This isn’t a dogwhistle to the Nazi nutjobs! How could you think such a thing! It’s a history lesson. Because The Mooch is service-y like that.

You see, he saw this Anne Frank costume online:

And he felt some feelings.

If he was being honest, he was actually Other (write-in) with no emojis at all!

So he hatched a plan to raise awareness by putting historical facts up for a vote. AS ONE DOES. Lance was definitely going to drop some knowledge on that 21% who said less than 1 million Jews were killed during the Holocaust. He had the link for Deborah Lipstadt’s TED talk on Holocaust denial on speed dial, yo! But then the SJWs got all PC on him, and he had to take it down. Suck it, snowflakes!

Maybe tomorrow you’ll get over your PMS and appreciate the awesome quizzes Lance has prepared for you.

ALLEGEDLY on that last one. We do not know if Anthony Scaramucci was on a bender.  Also he is not going to fire that guy Lance Laifer, because oh hey look, Scaramucci, a MEDIA PROFESSIONAL, has finally responded after six hours. He’s going with the Holocaust education promotion angle too:

He saw that Anne Frank costume and got all verklempt. Some of his BEST FRIENDS are Hebrew Americans! So, we’re cool now, right?

Congratulations, Lance! Looks like you get to keep your very good “job” after all!

[@ScaramucciPost, until they delete their account]

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  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    MOOOOOOOCH!! We missed ya, dude!

  • CaliCheeseSucks

    What a thirsty, pathetic motherfucker.

  • Someone is way too in love with using emojis. That alone should have been a firing offense.

    • Major_Major_Major

      It’s the comic sans/wingdings of the texting world.

    • ArgieBargie

      The Mooch is your teenage daughter’s friend’s creepy dad you keep warning her about.

  • Major_Major_Major

    Let those among us who haven’t marginalized the tragic deaths of millions of innocents on a social media platform throw the first stone.
    Line forms on the Left

    • Just one per person, or can we use more?

      • Major_Major_Major

        One per person per visit, but you can keep coming back until you are tired out.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I have a bucket full of rocks…
      Hope there’s plenty for everyone!

  • calliecallie

    They left out the part about the Holocaust Centers. Oh, wait, that was Spicey.

  • theblackdog

    I filed a report earlier in the day about this account; what’s the over/under on how long before Twitter says that Tweet didn’t violate any of their rules?

    • C4TWOMAN

      If it’s Tuesday in a month beginning with ‘m’ and you’re wearing red underwear, if you flag it, 50/50 an intern might notice…

  • Scooby

    He forgot to say he has a Jewish friend.

  • calliecallie

    He may have a job, but his name is still Lance.

  • bubbuhh

    Neo-Nutsies for teh Mooch!!! They workin for teh Mooch,yeah, displayin teh exceptional abilities of teh white rabbitz.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Someone needs to pull him over on the Internet super highway for reckless and excessive use of emojis…

  • whitroth

    Unfortunately, the results of the poll I find deeply horrifying: about one out of five are Holocaust deniers.

    Of course, they are twit-ing… but still. I think if he was for real, the appropriate response would be “And the 21% of you who think that it wasn’t for real, congratulations, you’ve not only lost your citizenship, you’ve just dropped out of the human race. Out of the gene pool, NOW!

    • kareemachan

      Well, probably a good percentage of them are russian, so…

    • Considering how ignorant we Yanks are (does the Earth orbit the sun, or the other way ’round? etc.) I guess that half who answered under one million simply didn’t know. But half of them still thought it was a good idea.

      So, not 20% but 15% of us are scum. And 5% are Russian.

  • Wild Cat

    How many Italians are in the Mafia?

    a) All.
    b) 100%
    c) Everyone of them.
    d) I dunno. I didn’t see anything.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Number of people killed in the Holocaust is not an opinion. It’s a countable, verifiable and horrible fact. Unless this is a high school history test question, it is not an appropriate thing to poll for popular opinion. Fuckhead.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
      • MrTusks

        Blue-Collar Man: Excuse me. I don’t mean to interrupt, but what were you talking about?
        Randal: The ending of Return of the Jedi.
        Dante: My friend is trying to convince me that any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were innocent victims when the space station was destroyed by the rebels.
        Blue-Collar Man: Well, I’m a contractor myself. I’m a roofer… (digs into pocket and produces business card) Dunn and Reddy Home Improvements. And speaking as a roofer, I can say that a roofer’s personal politics come heavily into play when choosing jobs.
        Randal: Like when?
        Blue-Collar Man: Three months ago I was offered a job up in the hills. A beautiful house with tons of property. It was a simple reshingling job, but I was told that if it was finished within a day, my price would be doubled. Then I realized whose house it was.
        Dante: Whose house was it?
        Blue-Collar Man: Dominick Bambino’s.
        Randal: “Babyface” Bambino? The gangster?
        Blue-Collar Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too big. I knew who he was, and based on that, I passed the job on to a friend of mine.
        Dante: Based on personal politics.
        Blue-Collar Man: Right. And that week, the Foresci family put a hit on Babyface’s house. My friend was shot and killed. He wasn’t even finished shingling.
        Randal: No way!
        Blue-Collar Man: (paying for coffee) I’m alive because I knew there were risks involved taking on that particular client. My friend wasn’t so lucky. (pauses to reflect) You know, any contractor willing to work on that Death Star knew the risks. If they were killed, it was their own fault. A roofer listens to this… (taps his heart) not his wallet.

    • CripesAmighty

      “Fact is that which enough people believe. Truth is determined by how fervently they believe it.”
      -The First Great Premise of Idiot America,
      Charlie Pierce

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I feel a little better knowing that only 21% of Trump supporters are Holocaust deniers.

    • AJ Milne

      … technically, 21% of those capable of clicking on a radio button on a Twitter poll…

      … so could be considerably higher.

  • Crystalclear12

    So his work at the White House really was the best he could do.

    That’s just depressing.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I remember the days when people would get fired for being incompetent assholes and then they went away. They didn’t go back to their Nazi blogging. They didn’t have social media managers. They didn’t show up on my teevee as a CNN specialist or whatever stupid thing they call the sloppy seconds discards that get picked up by cable media. We shunned them and they fucked right off. Up both ways, in the snow. Good times.

    TLDR – The Mooch can feel free to eat a big plate of horse shit.

  • elviouslyqueer

    I would report the account just because of the blatant overuse of stupid, irrelevant emojis. Jesus, is Lance an 11 year old boy with his first phone?

    • HogeyeGrex

      Plus, missing this one, 🍆

  • whitroth

    Wait, he fires people for not trying? Can’t we fire the Orange Shit for being *far* too trying?

    • hudson

      wait, you are telling me the self proclaimed tough guys hand out participation trophies too?

  • Crystalclear12

    At least we aren’t paying for his fuck ups anymore.

  • Baconzgood

    You stay classy Tony.

  • Zonath

    New Poll
    Will you do the fandango?
    1. ⚡⚡😱😱

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • ArgieBargie

    For every emoji, there is at least two lines of cocaine involved.

  • Baconzgood

    Who the fuck needs someone to manage their twitter?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Trump, desperately.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    What an )O(.

    • SDGeoff3

      That little freckle on the right cheek is adorable.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Thank you–I typed it from life.

        • SDGeoff3

          Oh, I just knew it. Such talent we have here.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I wasn’t trying to milk ignorance–I was trying to highlight it! Totally different!!! But I’m sorry if you assholes were offended!!!!!”

    – Lance Laifer

    PS: how funny is it that spell check wants to turn “Laifer” into “Lifer”?

  • MynameisBlarney

    New poll.
    Should Scaramucci contract Boneitis?

    1) Sure, why not?
    2) Yes.
    3) HELL YEAH! NAO PLZ!

    https://i.imgur.com/K6yOw4r.gif

    • Bad Tom

      That will happen more and more in the future.

  • Michael Smith

    How much Christianing happened at the Constitution?

    (a) All of it;

    (b) Yes;

    (c) Do your own research; or

    (d) Our troops

  • C4TWOMAN

    😂😂😂🤷🙄
    👋
    😸😸😹

  • Skeptical_thinker

    Hekuva job, Lance!!1!!

  • WotsAllThisThen

    The intent of the poll was to highlight ignorance of the basic facts…

    Be honest, now. If your readership consisted entirely of Trump supporters, you’d want to highlight this too.

  • jesterpunk

    Is the Mooch auditioning for a job with Cillizza?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Hillary sure is taking her sweet time condemning this.

      • Michael Smith

        Id like to start a Twitter account solely dedicated to demanding Hillary’s condemnation of everything.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Chris Cillizza already has that account.

          • Michael Smith

            Damn.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    When Feminists start a war, you’ll damn well know it, Lance.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I own scissors and I know how to use them.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I fire people for not trying

    Interesting that you don’t specify what you mean. Trying to do what, asshole? Gin up the rubes? Amplify the dog whistles? Escalate the hate?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3c982036a46d7172fe614d9d312ad1a4c401dee2a93d98baa6ea366a4d3b72d5.jpg

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Trying to find out how many Mooch-heads are Holocaust deniers. I don’t blame the guy for being curious.

    • hudson

      participation trophies for grown ups, they are handing out participation trophies for grown ups.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Say, you know who else were entrepreneurs and made mistakes?

    • OrG

      Henry Ford?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      The Seattle Pilots ownership group?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Wow. Just wow.

    • arglebargle

      Equifax?

    • SDGeoff3

      Donald J. Trump?

    • Anna Elizabeth

      GENOM Corporation?

    • Lizzietish81

      Weyland-Utani?

    • theblackdog

      Umbrella Corp?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I’m gonna say the USFL, maybe?

    • Lizzietish81

      Renraku?

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      InGen and John Hammond?

    • Red Richmond
  • Crystalclear12

    It’s just sad when you can see his little reptile brain trying so hard to appear human.

  • OrG

    Who?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Breitbart had a slightly different poll result:

    How many Jews were killed in the Holocaust?
    Less than 1 million–0%
    Between 1 and 2 million–0%
    Between 2 and 3 million–0%
    Not enough–100%

  • Blackest Noobs

    that Anne Frank costume is helluva scary, no?

    yeah scary in the fucking bad taste sense…really bad taste.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’m surprised they didn’t go for the obvious… Zombie Anne Frank.

      • SDGeoff3

        It Clown Anne Frank?
        Uh oh…

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Guilderwise?

      • TakingAmes

        I… may have had water come out my nose when I read that one. And now I feel like a bad person.

  • kareemachan

    Entrepreneurs, huh. Fuckwad is more like it.

  • DerrickWildcat
  • Thiazin Red

    Several things confuse me

    1. Are the emojis supposed to encode a statement, or are they just whatever random shit he happened to type?

    2. Who the shit thought that an Anne Frank costume was okay?

    3. If you accept that the costume is okay, who the shit thought it should be photographed in a hip cocked sassy pose?

    • Blackest Noobs

      Red, didn’t you know, Anne did that pose when the Nazi came to murder her and all her family….it’s in the Nazi Youth children’s book….written by American Nazis circa fucking now.

      • Thiazin Red

        There is so much wrong here.

        This is by far the least of it, but it doesn’t even look like a costume. It looks like a normal, if slightly vintage inspired, little girl outfit someone stuck a name tag on in some super gross attempt to sell it.

    • GoutMachine

      Just because you’re hiding for your life doesn’t mean you can’t be SASSY!

  • elviouslyqueer

    That pic looks like Mooch has just fingered Sean Spicer’s taint and is trying to figure out whether it smells like lemongrass or Enjoli.

    • puredog

      Beat me to it!

      • SDGeoff3

        He is pretty quick.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      LOLOMG

  • HogeyeGrex

    To be fair, when I read it I was thinking “Fuck. 21%. Well, I guess we now have a good number for how low Trump’s approval rating can sink.” So, the Holocaust ignorance thing does sort of come across.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Never discount stupidity. Some of that 21% comes from people who honestly don’t know. Remember Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and their Ask the Audience lifeline? Remember how there was always a couple of percent who thought Charles Dickens wrote the Declaration of Independence?

      • HogeyeGrex

        And these are the people who can be continuously conned into supporting Trump. “Honestly don’t know” might be the only semi-excusable reason to have voted for the guy. A bit better than “Filled out my absentee ballot using lawn darts.”

  • Anna Elizabeth

    This man is a Loathsome Cunt, perhaps the lowest of all the human-shaped filth that have passed through Trump’s White House.

    • OrG

      Lots of competition.

  • Hey Mooch, perhaps you can ask this question next:

    Who said the following:

    “What’s he famous for, for being captured? …Why is he a hero? It’s no great feat to be captured.”

    Not a Trump, not a Trump, Woody Allen is a Trump. It was from Woody Fucking Allen’s film “Celebrity”.

    In Allen’s Celebrity, there’s a scene where an old woman questions why a released political hostage becomes famous. “What’s he famous for, for being captured? …Why is he a hero? It’s no great feat to be captured.”

    http://deepfocusreview.com/reviews/celebrity/

    FFS

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And that old woman’s name was… Donald Trump.

      And now you know… the rest of the story.

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    Not firing people who try is a very good management technique

    “Dave just leaked fifteen million patient records from an open S3 bucket

    “Yeah, but he tries hard”

  • Lizzietish81

    Well at least it wasn’t a “sexy” Anne Frank costume

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Small mercies…

    • arglebargle

      I dunno. You’re dealing with some pretty despicable republicans here.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “… but I repeat myself.”

    • elviouslyqueer

      The sad thing is, you know there’s one out there.

      • theblackdog

        *shudder*

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Why the FUCK did I google that?

        • SDGeoff3

          Same reason I did, probly.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Did you get Vuitton Hitler and Sexy Gun-nut Anne Frank as well?

            I’m going to go lie down.

          • SDGeoff3

            You mean Annie Get Your Gun Frank?
            Yes. It’s getting to be time for adult-flavored beverages.

          • SadDemInTex

            Is that for real? I’m afraid to google it.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          I considered same, but no, I think a reconsider is prudent.

        • elviouslyqueer

          I hope you had the VPN on and were in private browsing.

          • Juanita

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !di274d:
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    • I think the daily stormer top 10 had it at #6 for halloween this year.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Behind Addie, who was rising, at #5, with a bullet.

    • jesterpunk
    • SDGeoff3

      Do they add a Madonna party-hat bra?

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Not to obsess, but shouldn’t she be wearing soft socks?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      ever been to Vegas over Halloween? There’s probably several on the strip…

  • Michael Smith
  • altleftjohn

    👅 my 🍆

    • SDGeoff3

      Lick my eggplant? Ok.

    • Bad Tom

      We just met, but OK!
      Can you lower the lights? Thx.

    • LesBontemps

      Taste your babaganouj?

  • Aggle Wok

    What’s the deal with all the emojis? Does he collect them like Lisa Frank stickers?

  • Joe Beese

    I’m Jewish and if I had a daughter who wanted to dress as Anne Frank I’d be delighted.

    Maybe I’m strange.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Maybe, but that is very different from selling such.

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      I actually gave that one a lot of thought myself. I kind of love it for *our* kids. But it would inevitably get coopted by Nazis, so … this is why we can’t have nice things. ☹️

      • DesertedPictures

        No offense: but dressing up like a murder victim seems to be in quite bad taste. This isn’t dressing up as someone that was known for a certain dress-style and just happened to be killed later in life. This is someone that is known for being a victim of oppression and murder.
        It’s not a party costume…

        • Fivedollarfeminist

          I see that, for sure. But she’s kind of heroic, as well. She wrote this beautiful, tragic book that will last forever. I mean, Joan of Arc was a martyr, but also an iconic hero.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Joan of Arc died as a martyr by choice … Anne Frank died due to a genocidal regime. To me, that’s a difference big enough to avoid.

          • Fivedollarfeminist

            Yes, you’re right. I have to agree.

          • DesertedPictures

            I understand that: the diary is inspirational. I remember reading it for the first time: it makes a deep impact. But if I saw a kid going door to door to go trick or treating… I would think that someone would have made light of the whole situation.

            Dressing up as Anne Frank for a play would be okay… but for a party: standing between all the superhero’s and bunny-costumes…. I don’t think that would be a good way to celebrate her life.

          • Fivedollarfeminist

            You’re probably right, I guess. It’s hard to get the kids to go as Golda Meir, though. (JK)

        • theCryptofishist

          One of those classic costumes was Anne Boleyn with her head under her arm. Different, yes. How different? I’m not sure.

    • DesertedPictures

      I’m not often actually outraged, but this was the one thing that I showed in full anger to the people I know and live with.

      I don’t know why this hit harder than anything else: but the wrongness of a Anne Frank costume, cannot be put into simple terms. You don’t dress up as the victim of the holocaust. It’s wrong.

  • Blackest Noobs

    i knew we would see BIGLY things from the Mooch…especially since he only worked for the Donald for a mere week and a weekend

  • Mr. Blobfish

    People care about what he has to say because? Help me out here.

    • jesterpunk

      He worked for Trump?

    • Little Lulu Ω

      He seems nice.

    • CaptainHowdyWinchester

      He was a high ranking staffer of our government for 10 days?

  • DesertedPictures

    So why was the actual number of Jews murdered by the nazi’s and a higher number than that omitted from this so called ‘educational poll’?

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Bannon got the Mooch’s password.

  • cmd resistor

    OT, but Sarah Huckabee Sanders sez the media is being really mean to Ivanka. Not quite sure why that is a story today. http://thehill.com/business-a-lobbying/355833-sanders-media-attacks-on-ivanka-trump-shameful

    • jesterpunk

      What exactly does Ivanka do anyway?

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Mideast peace.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          I thought that was J-Rad?

          • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

            she’s just as effective!

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            A point well made.

          • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

            Speaking of whom, we haven’t heard anything out of the Boy Wonder in a dog’s age. Is he hiding in Sean Spicer’s bushes?

          • Sophie McMillan

            he was in the background at the table conference yesterday – making himself small it seemed

          • Jukesgrrl

            Javanka was hosting were they not? Joe Manchin on TV this AM thanked them for their hospitality and said their house was bee-u-tee-ful.

      • elviouslyqueer

        Other than blowing her dad on the regular?

        • Major_Major_Major

          The accepted phrase is “providing oral support for the predisent”.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Her Dad says she does the best French kisses.
          There, now I just read it on the internet.

      • Suse

        She’s a champion for all of the wimmin!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        grift- just like rest of them

      • cmd resistor

        Promotes women, or something. I think her main function is dropping in while her father is having some important meeting to make sure he doesn’t totally F-up.

        • Raan

          Or to distract him long enough to give the Democrats what they want without them really giving anything in return.

          You know​, making the best deals.

      • LesBontemps

        Administer the medication?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      She must’ve gotten tired of being asked about Trump not calling the families of fallen soldiers.

      • cmd resistor

        The article says she was on a Hugh Hewitt show. Maybe he just gave her some easy questions.

    • Americans need to learn to treat their royalty with respect!

      • georgiaburning

        “r-e-s-p-e-c-t” is not how you spell guillotine

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      poor widdle snowflakes need their safe space…

    • Sophie McMillan

      the story yesterday that she interrupted Christie in a transition meeting to ask Flynn what job he wanted. ??? She seemed to be getting a lot of pushback when that broke

  • Ergoetal

    Tell me again. How do you spell mealy-mouthed, piece-of-shit mistake-for-a-being? Well OK, fuckwit will do.

    • elviouslyqueer

      M-O-O-C-H.

  • whitroth

    Hey, I know this isn’t open thread yet, but fresh headlines are that a federal judge has just blocked the Orange Doody’s *third* travel ban!

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Oh gnoez, now there will be sambusa stands on every corner!!!1!1!

  • Major_Major_Major

    The real back story on the screen grab at the top, because it is NOT the Mooch blowing a kiss. He was wiping his nether regions after an especially gelationous bowel movement induced by too much bolognese and merlot when the paper tore. He was merely smelling to decide if he had an inadvertent close encounter of the turd kind

  • specialcircumstances

    “lance has my full support” LOL we know how that goes in 2017

  • armed_bears
    • elviouslyqueer

      “I swear to you, when KellyAnne farts, they last about this long and smell like a team of Clydesdales.”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        don’t fuck with Kellywise!

        • CaptainHowdyWinchester

          Want to fart? We all fart down here!

  • Ergoetal

    I see he’s hiring all the best people.

  • CripesAmighty

    21% : Deniers;
    89% : Just don’t see what all the fuss is about.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Mooch fucked up when he went Donald. Nobody can go Donald but Donald. That’s the point!

  • chazmanr

    Can we just delete the Mooch instead?

  • yyyaz

    “Scaramucci and the Twitter Fandango: A Case Study of the Elements of Destruction of the American Republic” would be a good PhD dissertation topic.

    • theCryptofishist

      Yes, it fills me with ennui, and I haven’t even opened the leatherette cover.

  • Bill D. Burger

    [He saw that Anne Frank costume and got all verklempt. Some of his BEST FRIENDS are Hebrew Americans! So, we’re cool now, right?]

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e6a604a72ba2fcc8c30a2613c5578939d4936a26e5165ac25dbe5b479d70cdd9.png

    The Mooch: “I even gave Laifer a gold star.”
    OH…jk.

    • theCryptofishist

      Because he grades Laifer on a curve.

  • DesertedPictures

    Should we be relieved that 68% of the people voting on a poll of a far-right website do know the right answer? I’m honestly surprised…

    • LesBontemps

      They know the number; they just can’t decide if it’s a hoax or a good start.

      • DesertedPictures

        That’s… a very dark take on this.

        probably correct though…

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        I was beaten to the punch to say that is the blackest of dark humor.

        • LesBontemps

          I’t been one of those days weeks months administrations.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        [Covers eyes and shakes head while noting to self this is probably more reality than anyone wants to believe.]

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Russian bots knew the correct answer and answered THOUSANDS of times.

      • theCryptofishist

        Only because Katyn Forest wasn’t brought into it.

        • Bill Diaz

          If you asked 1000 GOP morons ‘What is Katyn Forest?’ 998 of them would answer it was a location in LotR.

          We have met the enemy and he is us- Walt Kelly

          Have a great day!

          • theCryptofishist

            It’s actually a stop on the El. (Why that popped into my head, I’ll never know.)

  • Bebecca

    I think Scaramucci is the funniest thing-and by funny I mean absurd- to come out of the trump administration. He came in like a swarm of termites and was gone just as quickly. If Donald had a sense of humor, I’d think it was a joke he played on us.

  • TimJ

    Here is Lance’s LinkedIn profile if you’d like to connect with him, propose concepts for more Twitter polls: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lance-laifer-ba00521/

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Poll ( a clever way to get upfists): Who thinks that Trump and everyone voluntarily associated with him are the vilest fuckface shitbags slime producing lowlifes to walk the face of the Earth, perhaps in competition with Hitler and Stalin? ( EDIT: No libelz intended for the lover snails from yesterday….)

    • CaptainHowdyWinchester

      Yes.

    • Strepsi

      Rank these in order:
      ⬜ Donald Trump
      ⬜ Marjorie The Trash Heap
      ⬜ An open sewer
      ⬜ Adolph Hitler
      ⬜ Pol Pot
      ⬜ Pol Pot cut with oregano
      ⬜ Joseph Stalin
      ⬜ Harvey Weinstein
      ⬜ The baby in Eraserhead
      ⬜ A moyle with herpes
      ⬜ Kellyanne Conway
      ⬜ Tired kitty litter
      ⬜ Anthony Scaramucci

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I’m going to stop reading Wonkette if I don’t start seeing some emoji in the headlines. Also, we need more polls.

    • theCryptofishist

      There’s a guy over on twitter who’d be perfect for you. To follow. And his partner.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Does Wonkette need more polls?
      ( ) Yes
      ( ) No
      ( ) Canned Clams

      • phoenix00

        MONSTER!

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    Delete his account? Is that a euphemism?

    • cheetojeebus

      It’s a bit like a rusty kazoo

  • Tovarish Z

    ” I don’t fire people for making mistakes, I fire them for not trying. Besides, he is my partner.”

    Translation from Business Scumese: He is my partner, so firing him would be really difficult, and depending what he is bringing to the table, might doom this venture.”

    The first sentence is meaningless.

    • La Cieca

      “I don’t fire people for denying the Holocaust. I fire them for not trying to deny the Holocaust.”

    • theCryptofishist

      How many Mooch sentences are meaningless. (You know the answer.)

  • Msgr_MΩment

    How many Scaramuccis were holocausted by the White House? Let’s vote.
    a) six million
    2) five and a half years, Alan!
    C. AOT,K.
    iv) Galileo, Galileo Figaro.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Cinco) Sacco and Vanzetti.

  • cheetojeebus

    I’d watch a buddy pic of Sanders and the Mooch lost the in the desert with a dying cell phone battery as they try and get someone to give a fuck and come rescue them.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Even though it ends in horrible sechs?!

      • theCryptofishist

        Anthony dries out and dies, but Sanders, being an old, is already wizened and survives, older, but wiser, and determined to carry Anthony’s message back to Western Civ.

    • Boscoe

      A live-action remake of Beavis & Butthead Do America?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Why can’t Mooch suck his own cock?
    o Cock is too small.
    o Mouth is too big.
    o Lance is in the way.

    • phoenix00

      – Needs Bannon to show him how it’s done

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I apologize if and only if somebody is offended by The Mooch.

    But, let’s be honest. Fuck that guy.

  • thewalkindude

    I’m still trying to figure out what a “witchunt” is-it sounds dirty…/s

    • mancityRed6

      it could be, if you play your cards right.

  • theCryptofishist

    “… he is my partner.” That’s right Anthony, stand by your man.

    • Zombishroom

      That Anne Frank sure is sassy!

      • Strepsi

        “Trick or––”
        “She’s in the attic!”

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I’m going to hell for laughing at that.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Hell, why doesn’t he just take a poll on who won World War II?

    After all, facts are just lies and fake news. Only people’s opinions count.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Was it ‘over’ when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

  • I don’t know about you folks, but I prefer to get my news from a source with a 3:1 emojis to words ratio.

  • M.E. Lawrence

    Aw, I must be getting old: I had to Google to make sure Wonkette wasn’t playing the best/weirdest media prank of the year. But, no–our Mooch marches on, adorable slimeball that he is. Can we blame Mooch, too, on Sarah Palin, the portal moron who was allowed to lower the bar?

    • SP was not the portal to the bar lowering.She was the test case to see how far low it could get.

    • Alan

      Ronald Reagan was the original.

  • Mavenmaven

    That was a 13 year “moment”, buster.

  • mardam422

    I apologize if anyone was offended. But in my defense, how was I supposed to know?

    • kaydenpat

      Who the hell would know that a holocaust denying survey would offend you people?

  • Ah damn it mooch, you started off good “My bad! My responsibility!”
    And then had to end it with that lame “I am sorry if you were offended”

    That makes you a complicit chudguzzler.

  • kaydenpat
  • OrdinaryJoe

    Note to self. Fully 1/3 of this country has no fucking idea about what happened in World War II. And I’m betting they vote Trumpublican.

    • Bill Diaz

      80% of American 10th graders cant name the country to the North and South of the US (if asked that way).

      Ignorance, racism and stupidity is our birthright as Americans.

      Have a great day!

      • Alan

        That can’t possibly be true.

    • wait! what?

      The second one, that’s the one where the Ents defeated Saruman…

    • Kooolest G

      I’m more worried about the ones that voted for trump and know way too much about what happened in WWII.

    • phoenix00

      They wanted to finish Hitler’s job.

  • Bill Diaz

    Verklempt is a word we desperately need in English, It is so bad now in Trumptopia, I am verklemstipated.

    Have a great day!

  • ken_kukec

    Nice pic of the Mooch sniffing his fingers, trying to remember where they’ve been.

    • WIDTAP

      Scratching himself somewhere, apparently.

  • Anna Rompage

    Oh No…

    Oh good lord no…

    Oh god, that was more than just a fart…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd9924b5f0b9f1107b7761a8a2539188f635cc39418539cc67de5442d510b33f.jpg

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    WTF with all those emojis? It looks like a 13 year old kid wrote it. Is that what all of the cool kids are doing now and I missed out?

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    You’d think he’d got the message that nobody wants to hear what he has to say. But NOOOOOO!

  • BadKitty904

    Who?

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Lance Laifer?
    Lance Laifer??
    Lance?
    Laifer??
    Lance Laifer???
    Lance Laifer??????

    • Strepsi

      it’s an anagram of Fail Cleaner

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Laifer, Laifer, bo-baifer
    Banana-fana fo-faifer
    Fee-fi-mo-Fainer
    Lainer!

  • Anna Rompage

    Can I just say I give two points to the person who created the Ann Frank costume, and didn’t make it the “sexy” Ann Frank costume…

    • CaptainHowdyWinchester

      Dunno, she is looking a bit sassy in the pic.

  • Joe Monte

    How many Neo-Nazis participated in this poll?
    – 21%
    – 25%
    – 32%
    – 100%

    • CaptainHowdyWinchester

      32%?

    • phoenix00

      – Write in: 666.6666%

      • Joe Monte

        Hey, phoenix00. Why are you up so late/early? I thought you Canadians all went to bed at 8pm (MST).

        • Andrea Jacobsen

          That’s just what we let you all think. Instead we get together and PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

          • Joe Monte

            You Kanucks need to keep your poutine north of the border (but please don’t cut off my maple syrup).

          • Andrea Jacobsen

            Dude, you want syrup you gotta deal with the gravy and curds too! Sorry, but those are the rules of the Great White North.

        • phoenix00

          I think that’s mandated for Canadian olds…..

    • GRH

      14.88%

  • WIDTAP

    Why is there a Sikh emoji in the Muslim option of your poll?

  • quantum mechanic

    “While I was out of the country”. Because everyone knows once you leave the U. S. of A. you lose all access to the inter webs.

    • WIDTAP

      That’s what I tell the boss when I try to take vacation. He just sends me another SIM card.

  • smitallica

    This is why we need to rein in hedge funds. So that assholes like Mooch can’t afford to hire other hedge fund assholes to be their Social Media Directors.

  • Hazel Blumberg

    This dude is a MOHron. He also misses his 15 seconds of fame and is desperately trying to turn them into 15 minutes. Please, Mooch, just go away. Thank you.

  • Odd Jørgensen

    emoji tourettes?

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