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Firstly, because we live in a hellscape where strangers must donate to make sure children aren’t starving, if you have a dollar or maybe even two you should go give it to this youcaring.

What is it, you ask? I WILL TELL YOU. It is a genuinely motherfucking Nice Thing In The World and I have to tell you I actually made calls to verify it was true because I had been told we lived in a post-apocalyptic hellscape and I’m that kind of cynic. But in actual real reality, a woman called Pamela Fergus has decided that the cops killing Philando Castile is no good reason to let his memory die, or to starve the children whose lunches he used to buy out of his own pocket when he was alive and worked in a lunchroom. (Before the cops killed him, I cannot stress that enough!)

St. Louis, MO

Anyway they raised enough to cover the lunch debt of every kid in the whole city of St. Paul, Minnesota, so they bumped their goal up to $100k and I would like to point out right now that I am a writer by profession but for a very long time I was a line cook and so when you see these tears leaking out of my eyes it’s just the buildup from a decade’s worth of slicing onions for YOUR SANDWICHES, you ungrateful masses, I am definitely not the sort of woman who goes around crying when the world doesn’t suck entirely.

Philando Castile was killed by police for no real reason, but they initially said they pulled him over for a broken taillight. (Witnesses say there was no broken taillight. Black people have a magical ability to temporarily break the taillight of any car they happen to be in, or at least we assume it’s that because man do black people get pulled over for broken taillights a lot!) In response, a Minneapolis mechanic has been replacing taillights and license plate bulbs for free. For over a year. He’s done hundreds! We checked! (If you live near Brooklyn Park, MN, you should really consider using Unity Autoworks as your mechanics and also overpaying because holy shit that is just a really awesome thing to do! And if you live anywhere in the area and you need your bulbs fixed you can call or text (612) 250-6218 and GO GET YOUR SHIT SORTED SO THE POLICE HAVE ONE LESS EXCUSE, PLEASE, WE LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU ALIVE!)

No really this mechanic is fucking awesome

I have been reporting from the aftermath of police shootings for years now, and there is a curious and wonderful thing that happens every time. People show up. I have eaten free burritos and pizza, drunk free water and Gatorade, covered my face in free milk or antacid after I got hit with gas or pepper spray. The corollary: I have donated food and supplies. I have worked a medic line. I’ve kept people’s phones on. That’s what we colloquially call “the work” and what’s meant by that phrase is the work of sustaining ourselves and each other so that we can collectively stand against Wrong.

Fuck it, I don’t even DO fuzzy animals but on this post? Yeah. It’s nice.

Please give money to Wonkette so that our writers can keep finding non-hellscape news for you. It’s for your own mental health.

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  • ManchuCandidate

    I swear it is allergies.
    /sniffs, wipes tear/

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      say pepper spray, gives you street cred.

      ; p

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Before the cops killed him, while he was complying

    • Daniel

      He can’t have been, otherwise they wouldn’t have killed him.

      Remember, police shootings can never be wrong.

      • TJ Barke

        Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Um, sorry, no. He was clearly out of compliance, as he was black.

      • Daniel

        It’s exactly the same as how we know Hillary Clinton is a criminal of the absolute worst kind because we have no evidence. The accusations are made all the time, even the liberal media reports on them, yet somehow people still refuse to believe it’s true that she really is a paedophile multiple murderer and traitor who Benghazied literally everything everywhere.

        If black people didn’t want to get shot by police they shouldn’t have done all the wrong things they must have done to get shot by police. If you say they didn’t do anything wrong you just don’t know what all the details are- there’s definitely one there somewhere. Otherwise we’d have to accept the police make mistakes, sometimes terrible mistakes, and then we might have to do something about them and even…brace yourself… accept that there might actually be some prejudice in the system itself. Such a thought is too awful to bear. If we even considered it it might mean stopping police carrying out their vital task of shooting black people for reasons we can’t truly appreciate because we weren’t there.

        • Cornelius Fussbudget

          Joseph Heller, we need you now more than ever!

  • wide_stance_hubby

    Well, shit. Now, I’m all snarked-up and no place to go, because onions.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Philando Castile was killed by police for no real reason, but they initially said they pulled him over for a broken taillight.

    LAPD pulled me over for a broken taillight a few years ago. Funny, they just gave me a fix-it ticket. If only the cops who pulled Philando had thought of that idea FFS…

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    The cop should be in jail. That is all.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I had never realized that having a brake light out was a capital offense. Seems pretty harsh.

    • Daniel

      But think how many broken tail lights you see. Very few. The system works.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        The Broken Taillight Theory. It’s very popular in criminal justice circles…on the far, far right.

        • Daniel

          They’re going to gain entry to heaven by the number they keep down, and the segregation thus reinforced. They’ll get their paradise by the smashed tail light.

          • BreakingDeadMen

            “Heaven? Whatever gave you the idea you were in Heaven, Mr. Valentine? This is the other place!”

  • Spurning Beer

    Now that I think about it, I can’t remember the last time I heard about a shooting incident during an arrest for insider trading.

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      Why is there no Stop and frisk on Wall Street?

      • elviouslyqueer

        Because Shkreli is in jail, and Trump is in the White House, for starters.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Where’d you get these bearer bonds, buddy?”

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I think the question would actually be, “What’s this white powder, buddy?”

      • Three Finger Salute

        When the people rob banks, it’s a felony.
        When the banks rob people, it’s the American Way™.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Exceptional!

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Technically there are supposed to be stress tests and Sec audits, but it’s really hard to do them with no budget.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Martha Stewart still walks amongst us.

      • Wild Cat

        If she contributed to the GOP, she would have walked.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The 6-figure advance for the tell-all book is probably punishment enough.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Welp, I bet this post will elicit a Shit fer Brains comment.

    Oh dear lord of the Underworld no.

    • aureolaborealis

      “Take me, Xibalba!!!”

      • Fun with Cthulhu

        If not there’s always Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

  • Michael Smith

    “Let’s be frank. Why do you guys kill seem to be unable to go very long without killing a black man for no reason?”

    “Well, there’s no evidence that black suspects are more likely – ”

    “No, I mean, seriously. Don’t give me that shit you give the public. What’s the real reason?”

    “Well.. we want to set an example.”

    “An example? But these guys aren’t doing anything wrong! The only example you’re setting is that if you’re a black man, regardless of whether you’ve ever committed a criminal act in your life, you’d better be prepared to be killed by a cop at any moment.”

    “…”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    People keep bumping their taillights on cop’ nightsticks. The broken taillight then travels back in time to excuse the stop.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I bumped my tail light on a cop’s nightstick once.

      So fine.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    And what does the NRA have to say? Not a fucking thing. A man, exercising his 2nd amendment rights, informs an officer he has one and gets killed for it. The NRA should be fucking OUTRAGED. They should be advocating that the jack-booted cop be executed for violating this man’s rights.

    Oh, I forgot, he was black. The reason we all need to carry weapons.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    OMG. The screen cap from Father Ted!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Those license plate lights are designed to fail. I think the auto industry is in cahoots with the cops.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      And the private prisons.

  • memzilla Ω

    I used to live near a town in New Jersey where I swear to Christ they would pull you over if the slots in the screws that held your license plate on weren’t all aligned in the same direction. (New Providence, NJ)

    • marxalot

      I drove through a tiny little hamlet wedged into the mass of the DFW metromess where not only did I get done for an out license plate light (I had two, but one was blown), but the cop in the big black SUV ran me down until my ancient Toyota finally got above 37 miles an hour (in 3rd gear!) so he could do me for speeding, too.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i got dinged driving through houston. It was rush hour, I was just keeping up with teh traffic, cop had finished a ticket then went after me.

        I was miffed. Moreso when the ticket turned out to be like $300.

        Meanwhile back in my home city, I used to see at LEAST one person a day texting while doing 60-70 on the way to or from school.

      • PubOption

        Farmers Branch?

        • marxalot

          Dalworthington Garndes. Other side of town. My bestie lives in Coppell now, I’ve told her when I come into town either just meet me at the bar or she’s driving.

    • jesterpunk

      I got pulled over in NJ for breaking the laws of physics, 2 cars directly in front of me and 2 directly behind me and the cop pulled me over for speeding and said no one else was speeding. Then they didnt turn in the ticket until the day before it was due so I couldn’t challenge it because you have to do that 7 days before the due date on the ticket and they wouldn’t give me an extension.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        Well, the law of physics IS a law, you lawbreaking breaker of the law, you.

  • calliecallie

    Post-apocalyptic hellscape, indeed. Today I am really feeling it.

  • Three Finger Salute

    So… trigger-happy, racist cops already rarely get the punishment they deserve for these killings of unarmed black people. What I’m really afraid of, though, is what’s going to happen when the A.I. Dalek robocops start patrolling the streets and are programmed to “KILL! KILL!” anything outside of that Family Guy Pantone color guide, that’s basically the skin shade equivalent of the “threat level” chart from DHS.

    You can’t arrest a robot or hold it accountable. Certainly the “owners of the means of production” aren’t going to be held accountable. Elon Musk keeps warning us about killer robots and nobody listens, either because Americans are so ignorant of science and technology outside their Russian-corrupted Facebook accounts and wingnut blogs that they’re not seeing this wave coming right at us — or because even if they did, they wouldn’t care, because they’d figure it’s only going to affect people nobody cares about.

    (Here’s something else that they won’t admit: Green is the only color that matters to these ruthless billionaires; black matters the least of all, but whites with no green in their pockets are only useful as idiots to keep attacking blacks instead of the rich and white ruling class, until the time comes to attack them as well. See Niemoller.)

    So… what do we do about all this? Nothing, and accept the inevitability that the T-1000s are coming for all of us no matter what — and the Philando Castiles of our country first? Speak out, expend breath and energy on a foregone conclusion, and have no one listen? “Resistance is feudal; you will be annihilated”?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      While I agree that would be hellish, remember just recently a robot designed to patrol a shopping mall drove into a fountain and electrocuted itself to death. I think we a while to go before that is a reality.

    • Impatient

      Hey, maybe it’ll be a Hydra 15,000 … instead of a T1000. Would that be better?
      https://youtu.be/2gA6FvvZeA8?list=RD2gA6FvvZeA8

  • Scooby
    • Three Finger Salute
      • elviouslyqueer
        • Three Finger Salute

          Needs moar mayo. Also, that looks like some kind of whole-grain bread. Un-American. What you really want is this:

          http://wonderbread.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/product-classic-white.png

          Mmm. Mayo on Wonder Bread. The food of American champions.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Those whole grain sprinkles in the bread is an affront to freedom and an attempt by liberal elitists to teach children to reject their culture and their God.

          • Boscoe

            Oh, I always just assumed those were particles of cardboard that fell into the mixer.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Well, “cellulose” IS ambiguous.. it could be tree material before or after paper-making… for some faux whole-something foods…

          • alpacapunchbowl

            My sis was more broke than usual at one point and tried to make paninis using the equivalent of Wonder Bread. The shit basically melted away into nothing.
            Wonder Bread: It’s a Wonder they can call it Bread!

          • VirginiaMorningBlend

            Put a big slice of home grown red ripe beefsteak tomato on that and you have a real southern delicacy!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Mating slugs… Fried. Of course.

        • SpideySenser

          Rat dicks.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Big rats…

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Jeremy!!!!

          • motocat

            Not Jeremy!

      • alpacapunchbowl
        • SeeTrain65

          What does it look like?

          You’re right.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      US: Ketchup is a vegetable.

      • Boscoe

        Also too: pizza.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I’m a little concerned that France seems to be giving kids a hunk of brie the size of a Peugeot.

      • Scooby

        Interestingly, they have lower coronary disease. It’s called “The French Paradox”
        https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1768013/

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Jacque Pepin says it is because the French (especially middle and lower classes) use chicken fat instead of butter.

          • Scooby

            He may be right. I like to think it’s the wine.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I don’t remember that too much from when I was living there, but Jacques Pepin is the best, so I defer to him in things food.
            I do however use rendered duck fat for quite a few dishes since then.

        • ariel_gee_398

          I suspect that might have something to do with most French people living in cities and towns where walking and cycling is encouraged/possible as a means of transportation. I doubt Americans would have such problems if we didn’t insist on driving two blocks to the store.

          • Scooby

            if what they want to buy is in isle 5…they want to park in isle 5.

          • Impatient

            Nominated for a Yr Wonkette Laugh of the Day Award! (FWIW)

          • alpacapunchbowl

            They also don’t eat all the processed food that we do, although that is changing and the country’s overall health is suffering as a result.

        • Shanzgood

          Red wine!

      • Three Finger Salute

        It’s got everything else to balance it out. And you can always share with friends, and have a history lesson at the same time — just pretend it’s an aristocrat, and slice it with a little plastic guillotine!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Wow. They actually get FOOD food!!!

      But in America, food is a LUXURY, so if kids can’t afford it, TOUGH. And to hell with paying taxes so some poor kid can eat such fabulous fare. We all know that they eat lobsters with the welfare they receive anyway…

      • Scooby

        Prisoners in France or Italy eat better than US school children.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      Can’t stop looking at Brazil. The unbridled yummyness is hypnotizing.

    • aureolaborealis

      I would like to move to all of those places right now, please.

    • Teecha

      All of those have recognisable food items.
      We had that for a few years in the UK. Then the theiving bastard Tory fuckers got back in and now it’s back to slop on a tray. And a flapjack. The flapjacks are good. And not whatever you’re thinking of. British flapjacks are different.

      In Qatar we don’t have lunches at school. We finish at lunchtime. Of course, we’re all half starved by then coz we start before brekkie.

  • calliecallie

    OT, but can we have a national day of mourning or something on 11/9?

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’m thinking people may be planning something. “Nationally” is out of the question because for a turd of the country it’s a day of celebration.

      I vote we celebrate Canada Day Observed in the United States on April 20th.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Maybe a moment of silence? For him, I mean? We should all stand outside and yell “Fuck all y’all fuckers that did this to us!!!!”

    • Impatient

      How about adding a morning meditation on the Hatch Act, this October 28th?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    that brake light thing is pretty awesome too.

    “Fuck you all – this is gonna be the excuse? I’m going to step in and take it away from you.”

    (brake lights are probably fucking expensive. Mom had the cover for one stolen from her car in a parking garage years back. We couldn’t figure it out until the dealership told her it would be $150 bucks to replace…for a piece of fucking plastic. That’s when I told her, somebody msut have busted theirs, gotten the same price, and decided to steal yours.”)

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I was going to try to write a snarky comment from the POV of the racist fucks who don’t think it’s a big deal that cops kill black men with impunity, but I can’t even today. Instead I will say this: if you can read a story about a black man who feeds children with money from his own pockets, money he earned at a job you wouldn’t take in a million years, being murdered by a trigger-happy cop who then gets off without even having a stern finger shaken in his face, and still defend the cop; if you can’t look at athletes kneeling peacefully to protest this kind of thing without getting all butthurt and pissy; if you can hear POC being shouted at by racist fucks name-calling or ordering them to leave the country and not see any problem – if you can do all of that and not understand why it is wrong and bad and horrible, then you must be a republican. And I’m mighty tired of having to coddle your feelings.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      YOU’RE MEAN AND THE REASON I VOTED FOR TRUMP

      /s(igh).

      • Juanita

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !di277:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleDailyNewsFoxUpdateWorkFromHome/find/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!di277hhhh

    • Beanz&Berryz

      What she said…

    • BosGrl

      I wish I had enough money to put this on a billboard in every city in the country.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        That’d be a big billboard, some of us don’t have youthful peepers.

        • BosGrl

          OK, lol. Put this on billboardS.

          • SisterArtemis

            Burma-shave style!

          • BosGrl

            That would be AWESOME.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Gotta do it Burma Shave Style

          • SisterArtemis

            we owe each other a coke

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      I’ll say it again, because even Don Motherfucking Lemon and Charles Motherfucking Blow are having great difficulty getting the r-word out.

      If you steal somebody’s wallet, you’re a thief.

      If you wear a dress and enter a womens’ bathroom, you’re a woman – we have no intention of checking your equipment.

      If you say and do racist things, we “don’t know what’s in your heart”.

      The fuck, are we waiting for James McAvoy and Patrick Stewart to activate Cerebro and put it on the “racist” setting?

      • Zombishroom

        I’d hate to hurt the feelings of a racist by calling him a racist.

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          My point exactly

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    reading the above and hten this from David Brooks is jarring (he technically has a point, but there’s still LOTS that could be done, pretty easily too.)

    “The popular gloom notwithstanding, we’re actually living in an era of astounding progress. We’ve seen the greatest reduction in global poverty in history. As Steven Pinker has documented, we’ve seen a steady decline in wars and armed conflict. The U.S. economy is the best performing major economy in the developed world.

    In 1980 the U.S. had a slight edge in G.D.P. per capita over Germany, Japan, France and the U.K. But the U.S. has grown much faster than the other major economies over the past 37 years, so that now it produces about $54,000 of output per capita compared with about $39,000 for Japan and France.”

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      It’s the truth, humanity collectively is doing the best it ever has. But no one is a human, collectively, only ourselves. And because of mass media we’re now more aware of the things that are wrong and the people doing poorly.

      • Boscoe

        Unfortunately, our incredible talent for self-deception, denial and rationalization is kicking in to limit the positive effects of that knowledge…

    • NastyBossetti

      Perhaps the gloom is because there are a bunch of assholes trying to take us BACK IN TIME to before any of the progress he lists was made, rather than continuing that progress?

    • bubbuhh

      Per capita is a very weak way to measure an economy cuz wealth is not shared per captita. It’s shared per richita

      • Boscoe

        per capita is a very useful way of keeping people from realizing just exactly HOW MUCH MORE than everyone else the 1% has. Wouldn’t want to start a class war, donchaknow…

        • Impatient

          Why can I still hear, clear as day, George H. W. Bush’s nasal New England complaint about people engaging in “class warfare?” Isn’t there a statute of limitation on memory? Or am I just being singled out for punishment, for doing all those things my mother said I shouldn’t?

      • aureolaborealis

        Yes. Per capita is the mean, and the median would be much more informative about the typical person.

    • BosGrl

      This is the same guy who thinks the poor and undereducated should stick with hot dogs from Cumberland Farms for lunch, right?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Brooks, yes; but he cites Pinker who is a very reliable source.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Can we get that growth broken down by year? Cause I’m guessing most of the growth happened in the 1990s and after 2009. Wonder why that was?

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Two of the longest winning streaks for the S&P 500 were from 1991-1999 and 2010 -present. You can look it up. Try Newsweek.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I really, truly don’t care at all about whether our GDP is better than Japan’s. It’s not what my mind automatically jumps to when I need comforting over the thought that 62 million people in this country thought a game-show host with glaring personality defects would be a good president. When I lie awake worrying that 45 will start a nuclear war, I am not soothed by the thought that at least we’ll go out on top, economically speaking.

    • KillerMartinis

      David Brooks can’t even figure out whether deli meat is available to the lower classes

      • Antonin Dvorak

        He also thinks that Italian on cafe menus intimidate people.

        • DT

          It does, though. It intimidates his provincial philistine base.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        I’d at least have a little respect for him if he introduced himself with “Hi, I’m David Brooks. I cater to white upper-middle class sensibilities and assure you that nothing about you, specifically, is wrong or needs to change. It’s everyone else who sucks. I’m basically a cloying adult safety blanket in an indifferently tanned human’s form.”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        BoBo is the friendly, respectable face the GOP hides behind to push their BS, nothing more

        http://driftglass.blogspot.com/

        • bbayliss

          Dog bless driftglass.

    • Rags

      Suck on this, Brooksie

      In constant price, 2011 American median household income was 1.13% lower than what it was in 1989. This corresponds to a 0.05% annual decrease over a 22-year period.[7] In the mean time, GDP per capita has increased by 33.8% or 1.33% annually.[8]

    • Jesus fuck, Dave, we have been at war the entire time my children have been alive.
      Pretty sure there were times when we were not at war!

  • Swampgas_Man

    Not having a car at all is looking like the best option for me.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Why are you walking so suspiciously, huh?

      • osceola

        Shit, Eric Garner was just standing there.

        • Meccalopolis

          breathing while black

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Michael Brown was walking incorrectly when he was killed.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    huh, fox business pundit is racist, who would have guessed.
    (I’m sure he was probably on CNBC too, but still):

    “Thank God white people populated America, and not the blacks,” Faber wrote. “Otherwise, the US would look like Zimbabwe, which it might look like one day anyway, but at least America enjoyed 200 years in the economic and political sun under a white majority. I am not a racist, but the reality — no matter how politically incorrect — needs to be spelled out as well. (And let’s not forget that the African tribal heads were more than happy to sell their own slaves to white, black, and Arab slave dealers.)”

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      What in the actual fuck has to be wrong with you to write a paragraph like that and throw “I am not a racist” into the middle of it???

      • Wonky Magoo

        This is because they hear “racist” as “poopyhead.”

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          There are a lot of middle and upper class Baby Boomers and Gen Xers that were brought up that to say the “n” word and exhibit blatant racism was low class rather than morally wrong.

          • ahughes798

            Yup. My dad was fine with ni-CLANG, but my mom said we should never say that word. She told us to use “coloured,” because I believe at that time(early to mid-60’s), lots of Black people called themselves coloured. But my mom was like a puppy…she loved everybody, no matter who. So I had a some level of racism that I grew up with. I never thought my dad was right, though. After I left home and went to Hollywood to become a musician, I got over that stuff pretty quick, because everybody played music with everybody. It was eye-opening and great!

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Long story but interesting I think-/when I came to California in thev70s I met a trumpet player in the Air Force Band who as a younger guy had done a few gigs with Frank Zappa.
            He ended up in a military band back east for a while, and they went on tour. They stopped at a restaurant in Georgia and he was told that he would have to go around to the back door and they’d bring him his food. As a Californian, this just didn’t compute with him. He said he couldn’t wrap his head around it. Not that California didn’t have racism- it did, but not southern style Jim Crow Apartheid.
            He was a fundevangelical and I don’t know haw that worked with Zappa, but also a dear, dear man. Given his age, he’s probably passed. One of those people I wish I’d kept in touch with. Damn those onions anyway.

      • Boscoe

        That’s what happens when you are so far gone that the insane crap you’re writing just seems like “facts” to you, but you just KNOW some Librul is gonna try and take you “out of context” and play the race card on you…

    • SeeTrain65

      “Mr. Hitler … er, Hilter … says that, historically, Taunton is part of Minehead already!” – Marc Faber

    • NastyBossetti

      Did you guys know that saying, “I am not a racist” magically absolves you of all the racist shit you do and say? It’s true!

      • aureolaborealis

        Almost as effective: “I’m just saying what I really think.”

    • mancityRed6

      “I am not a racist, but…” is a line that never ends well and I automatically start casting some serious side eye whenever I hear it.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Don’t forget “reality” and “politically incorrect.” As well as “truths,” as in “I’m just telling some hard truths.”

      • clubseal

        “I’m not a racist, but I do love me a marathon.”

      • Raan

        I am not a racist, but I could yummy down on a whole bag of croutons like it’s something to do.

        • mancityRed6

          that’s worth, like, half a side eye at best.

        • laineypc

          yummy down. Must use.

          • Raan

            Proper thanks go to Danny Sexbang from Game Grumps.

      • ahughes798

        I’m not a racist, but I am a Great Blue Heron.

        • mancityRed6

          *side eye*

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I really don’t understand why people who write and say blatantly racist things have a problem being labeled as racists.
      I understand (and don’t condone) the garden variety American middle class racism “I have no problem with blacks or Latinos or Asians as long as they dress, speak and behave exactly the same way as a middle class white person” and why the people who exhibit this type of racism are clueless about it.
      But this is the 19th century type.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Maybe they’ll do like some of the alt-right crowd and start calling themselves “racialists,” like that extra syllable will make it respectable.

    • Jennaratrix

      “I’m not a racist, but” is the mating call of racists. They should just get it tattooed on their foreheads, save us all some time.

    • bbayliss

      History? From ancient Sudan to medieval Zimbabwe, get the facts on seven African kingdoms that made their mark on history.

      http://www.history.com/news/history-lists/7-influential-african-empires

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      “I am not a racist, but…”

      Everything that follows “but” invalidates the premise.

      I affirm A, but B”,

      actually affirms B while rendering A meaningless. The classic example is “I love you, BUT…”

      “I love you, BUT I can’t abide your lack of personal hygiene”.

      Meaning, “I’m dumping you, Mr./Ms. Smelly Feet”.

      “I love you, BUT I wish you wouldn’t leave the toilet seat up”.

      Meaning “I’m going postal if I fall into the commode one more time when I use the bathroom in the middle of the night”.

      “I love you, BUT I wish you wouldn’t squeeze from the middle of the toothpaste tube”.

      Meaning “You annoy the hell out of me”.

      A better sentence would be

      “I affirm A, AND B…” Try substituting “and” for “but” in the above examples. Works much better, I think!

      • HazooToo

        “I love you, and I’m going to squeeze your neck right in the middle if you do that to the toothpaste one more time.” Much better!

    • HazooToo

      My mom admitted to me, straight up, “I am a little bit racist.” and she STILL never said or believed anything like that!

      • C4TWOMAN

        I expect she probably means she has some discomfort around ‘black’ working class culture or has made wrong assumptions about poc.

        Personally I don’t call that being racist unless you believe/ embrace that mentally. I call that’s predudice and we all pick up some of that in our culture.
        It’s what you do about it that counts…

        • HazooToo

          She did always act right. At least since I remember. Never taught me anything disgusting & never deliberately offended someone.

    • javadavis

      Well! Since the US was already populated with perfectly civilized (if somewhat technologically behind-the-curve) peoples who would have presented those European invaders with a HUGE invasion problem if it were not for said Europeans’ disease-spreading genocide, I think we can say that the fox business pundit is historical-fact disadvantaged. At the least.

  • grindstone

    Hell yeah. If my pittance can scrape even the tiniest bit of shit off this hellscape, I’m in.

  • Jennaratrix

    I had a broken taillight once, and a cop noticed. Know what happened? He drove up next to me at a stoplight, motioned for me to put my window down, and when I did, he told me I had a broken taillight. I got it fixed. The End.

    I am not a black man, and that’s all you need to know to understand why “the end” is not “I got shot.”

    • ahughes798

      An ex-boyfriend and I got arrested(I think) because the license plate on our 73 Grand Prix was less than 12″ off the ground. Fucking cop had a ruler! We were made to follow the cop to the hive, go inside, sit in the foyer for hours, and we were finally released on our Own Recognizance. But we weren’t black, so we lived to sin another day. Thank you for not killing us, Carol Stream po-po!

    • Paperless Tiger

      The cops pulled up beside me at a light while my friend was getting a goooooood hit on a joint, and they just started laughing. “That’s right, smoke that shit”, they said, and drove on.

      • Meccalopolis

        that’s some white privilege shit right there. I remember in school a berkshire county sheriff pulls me over on a suzuki I had dug out of the snow from the previous winter. among my many crimes were, no license, helmet, headlamp, signals plus speeding. he drove me back to campus

    • Michael Christian

      I was frequently asked for my papers in the cow town where I grew up because I “fit the description” of someone the police were looking for. To the best of my knowledge I was the only 6’3 punk rock kid with a giant blue mohawk in town. I’m assuming the police knew better than I did and there must have been so many more that I never saw.

      • Jennaratrix

        I did get pulled over once by two HUGE Massachusetts State Troopers, who conferred over my license for a bit in cop-speak and then told me I was free to go. When I asked, really politely, why I’d been pulled over, I was told “You fit the description of someone we’re looking for,” and before I could stop myself I said “Well shit, I’m glad I’m not her!” And then I drove away.

        • puredog

          Why stop yourself? I’m sure they could relate.

          • Jennaratrix

            Well, you know, it’s maybe not a good idea to mouth off to cops when they were letting me go. You never know what’s going to cause an issue, or if they have a sense of humor. And they were ENORMOUS. In case I didn’t mention that.

      • Invidosa

        My ex boyfriend got much the same in the white bread way too expensive town we went to high school in. We were THE goth kids, and clearly I wasn’t as scary as I have a vagina. But his black trench coat, eyeliner and big hair made him clearly a threat.

    • capnkrunch

      A friend of mine has a son who spent the night in jail after being arrested because he had a bench warrant out for unpaid speeding ticket. The initial reason he got pulled over: broken taillight. The real reason he got pulled over: he was a young black man driving a beater through a white suburb (he was going to visit his dad).

    • azeyote

      i’ve had the tail light thing get me pulled over and searched without a warrant a few times, but i didn’t get shot either – i’m just a hippie

  • capnkrunch
    • TakingAmes

      Hello, gorgeous!

    • Carrie Scott

      I wish I could give more up votes.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      I like her disguise in that last pic.

  • HazooToo

    Is there a webpage for this mechanic we can share? He deserves a TON of new business.

  • Ninja0980

    Nice to see there is still good in the world.

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    This is why I haven’t given up on humanity yet.

  • I am crying and I am not the least bit ashamed to admit it.
    His death was senseless. His life was not. And these children will be fed because he lived, once.
    Thank you, Philando. I am sorry we could not get court justice for you.

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks, killermartinis. I’m about halfway through your book. My heart breaks for the life you led in the past, which all too much resembles the life I’m living now. Fortunately, I have a full business and social wardrobe, so when ultimately I find work, I’m ready. I also live in NYC, so I have no need of a car. The clinic where I use Medicaid is great, and I get specialty care in some of the best medical facilities in the city. I can turn $10 in EBT benefits into $12 at the Greenmarket. Unfortunately, no one wants to hire — or even interview — a 63 year old woman. I need a break. I never went through what you did; I haven’t had a minimum wage or service job since I was a kid. However, I’ve spent all too many years as a temp, and now that work has dried up, too.

    At least I don’t have to worry about police murdering me.

    • Bad Scooter

      hugs.

      • Zyxomma

        Thanks, Bad Scooter.

    • KillerMartinis

      Dear heart. See this is why I was so careful to say I only knew my life; I can’t imagine your challenges. What I *do* know is that you’ll manage, because that’s what we do in the face of the unrelenting. We cope. Here’s a partial list of things that will never go away no matter how much the job market sucks:

      -orgasms
      -that kind of sunset where you feel calm even if you have a headache
      -that one day in the year where the temperature is perfect
      -books
      -really good street music
      -that feeling where you just look goddamned amazing today and you don’t know why
      -basil pesto
      -cute men and/or women depending on your preference, you live in New York, they’re everywhere and it’s glorious to watch sometimes
      -flowers
      -that awesome thing where a guy is a dick at a cash register and another customer completely sets them down in spectacular fashion (rare, but.)

      • Zyxomma

        Hahahaha. I have basil from the Greenmarket and parsley from my CSA. The pine nuts (which I purchased when they were about a third their current price) are soaking. Making basil pesto tomorrow. I’m a great cook, and since I don’t as a rule do physical labor (one day a week I shlep to Brooklyn to help a recovering friend with the kitty litter, trash, and recycling), I’m rarely too worn out to make food.

        As for the rest of the list, some yes; some no. Yes, there are amazing looking people on the street, but there are also myriad assholes. Saturday while walking from West 31st Street, where I visited a friend, back home to the east village, I walked through Union Square Greenmarket to check for end-of-day specials. A 20-something kid (can’t call him a man) stepped on my foot in passing, and screamed FUCK YOU right in my face, which was totally unexpected. I didn’t let it bother me; I just found some 2-for-1 boxes of raspberries to take home. This is NYC, and the temperature is often perfect, so there’s that. Most of the time, I don’t enjoy street music, but every now and then there’s a brilliant violist or something ….

  • Bad Scooter

    done and done. thanks Linda!

    PS you’re not crying, i’m crying.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Philand Castile is the proof (as if we needed more) that the gun laws in this country are racist. He had a concealed carry license, informed the cop he had a license and was armed, got shot, and not a peep from the NRA. If he was white, Wayne LaPissy would have been screaming his head off and rillng up every single NRA member until that cop had been fired, charged with murder, and convicted.

  • I’m glad for the fund in Castile’s name, and thank you for brining this to our attention.

    You know one of the things that infuriates me the most about these murdered-by-cops stories (and there are man attributes to choose from) is the “delightful” way the victims are posthumously slandered as brutal barely-restrained “hooligans”, so that thebpolice and society at large to do to their reputations what was done to their bodies, with no way to counter in their own defense. So I’m glad that (among other positive benefits) that this charity alllows Castile to be a decent, caring, human being against and not “Thug Caricature #13” that an oh-so brave policeman/white supremacist had to valiantly defend against.

    • gingerwentworth1

      This is just something peripheral, but why is it that once the policeman draws his gun, he begins to feel so threatened? So threatened that he has to shoot!
      These guys have nothing another man might want. These are just drivers who want to get out of a stupid traffic stop, and until the stupid traffic stop, they had no interest in dealing with a cop. The cops themselves must know this!
      Whereas a woman walking down the street has plenty of reason to feel threatened, because of being spoken to by strange men, who are bigger, who convey they’d like to grab her and could grab her if they wanted to that it would be fun, etc. But I, for example, have always endured this strain and not reached the point of wanting to carry a gun. It’s just the strain women live with, that they’re supposed to accept. These men may think it’s funny, but the woman doesn’t know: what’s he going to do next?

  • Catherine Egan

    I am greatly honored to call Pam Fergus a dear friend. She is a psych professor and she and her students organized this fund. Her heart is very, very big.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Please thank her and tell her that at least one normally-cynical frog was moved to tears by this.

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