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P.S.: I am not a crank
Twilight Sparkle Has Had It With Your Bullshit

It was a strange week in the moderation queue, kids. Not only did we have some confused racist moron who felt the need to reply immediately to a story from last year, but we suddenly got complaints, just this week, about some comments that were actually written months ago. Odd!

We’ll start with something a little more recent, from “Lawrence F,” who made a whole special Disqus account to leave a single comment on our September 18 article about the revelation that Paul Manafort was the subject of FBI wiretaps. Somehow, we hadn’t managed to find room in a Dear Shitferbrains for this one at the time, but it’s worth a late look, if only because it crams so much strange into only 50 words. Besides, it addresses an issue of perennial concern here: Wonkette’s dirty language, shame on us. “Lawrence” was very disappointed in us, all in all:

Wonkette, your filthy mouth is one of the most attractive things about your reportage, because it is aimed at total scumbags. However, I urge yourself to recognize when the obscenities become the center of attention rather than the reportage. E.g., “laving Putin’s penis.” Nice in the abstract, but rather juvenile en situ.

Not entirely certain, but it looks like “Lawrence” is of two minds here: the dirty talk is all we have going for us, because our readers are scumbags, but golly, why must we include so much dirty talk in our dirty talk? Also, “laving Putin’s penis” is an obscenity that detracts from what was, at the time, hot breaking news, and so while it seemed like a good idea in the abstract, it was very juvenile “in situ,” which, if you want to nitpick, is not actually the opposite of “abstract.” In conclusion, ourself has certainly been put on notice, hasn’t we?

Update: Alert Wonkette Operative Serai 1 notes, in the comments we do not allow:

I think you may have misinterpreted that first comment, at least the bit about the language. I think he meant the obscenities are fine because of the subject you’re aiming them at (the subject being the “scumbags”, not the readers). Otherwise, the second part of the comment wouldn’t make much sense. Honestly, I think he was trying to help.

That actually makes sense, and so we have revised our view of “Lawrence” considerably. He’s not a confused hater of Wonkette, he’s a would-be friend of Wonkette. But still a confused censorious Pecksniff, because somehow he doesn’t recognize this blog is fueled by dick jokes.

Then there’s “Jungle Jim Miller,” who showed up last week in the comments to our September 8, 2016 piece on Chicago Tribune columnist John Kass, who wrote a rambling piece about crime in his fair city. Kass mused about “feral” young black men who turned out that way because Democratic social programs destroyed The Black Family (there is just the one). Not sure why “Jim” felt the need to leave multiple replies to year-old comments; maybe he thought the piece was from September of this year, or maybe since it was about race, we needed to be told just how terrible black people are, which is, for folks like “Jim,” truly a timeless topic. Here’s a sampling:

  • The gov’t is paying them to breed, dumbazz. The more children they have, the bigger the check.
  • They still won’t work.
  • The mothers are denied cash if (able) father is living at home.

“Jungle Jim Miller” even replied to one of my year-old comments! Last year, one “wm c barker,” (original Disqus username “whimsybehere”) had left this whimsical comment on the article: “Jungle DNA can not be changed.” Charming, huh? But I was rather pleased with my message telling that twit he was banhammered: “Look, Mr. Kass, you don’t have to comment on everything written about you.” I thought that was pretty darn whimsical.

But “Jim” didn’t even get the joke! He simply replied to me, “They are genetically predisposed to crime.” He seems nice. I wasn’t about to let that fly, so I replied,

That seems like an awfully unfair generalization about Chicago Tribune columnists. Also, you are aware that you’re spewing your bullshit all over a post that’s from September 2016, yes? Bye, troll!

That didn’t go over so well! Not long after lowering the banhammer, I received this delightful email:

Subject: Nigger Lover

James D Miller [email redacted]
to me

Fuck You, Nigger Lover. Hope your family is ass-raped by twelve of them

I guess he must really hate that I accused him of slurring Chicago Tribune columnists. Here’s hoping this Jim Miller is not one of the Jim Millers any of you readers know.

Then there was this weird thing that happened when I refreshed my moderation queue and it spat out for review eight comments, all by different people on different articles, that had been written 8 to 11 months ago. Not new comments on old articles, but maybe newly-flagged old comments, or perhaps Disqus was just clearing its throat? The system shows when a comment was written, but not when it was flagged for review. VERY STRANGE.

One was part of a string of oddball rightwing comments on a piece we did in February about fake news spewer James O’Keefe discovering unspeakable bias when a CNN editor said the role of journalism is to “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable,” a line that’s we noted is over a century old. Several wingnuts dropped by to complain about something, though it wasn’t exactly the article:

“John”:
how easily the liberal propaganda machine controls your simple minds. all of you are complete trash. useless, horribly confused, naïve, lowlife trash. where were all of you when Clintons husband was putting cigars into monica Lewinski?

“Aj” [in reply to someone who called “John” a troll]:
It’s only trolling if it’s not true. You goofy liberals are indeed useless, horribly confused, naive trash.

If you don’t think so then you need to stop protesting when people you don’t agree with are due to speak & remove those of your kind that give the rest of us the opinion that you are a useless lot.

Well then! Those were certainly on-topic critiques of absolutely nothing in the piece. I had popped in (again, this was all back in February) to reply to “Aj,”

So basically the game here is to just show up, ignore the actual article, and yell rightwing talking points? WHAT ABOUT BENGHAZI? WHY DID YOU IGNORE BENGHAZI?

In reply to that, I got the comment that was, for some reason, brought to my attention this week. It was from “youse” (credit where it’s due — that’s a good yousername), who explained why none of them were actually talking about the article: Because liberals are just full of hatred, and that made the article itself unreadable:

I guess it’s just hard to get through your juvenile rant. You are certainly not a journalist. Very boring, as all rantsa re because it is just an outlet to your pent up anger because you are a mediocre human looking for attention. Please don’t give up your assembly line job.

Heavens! Trashing assembly line workers? What an elitist comment! Sad. Now, if we could only figure out why it got flagged in October.

We’ll close with a real doozy of a time warp: Another comment that was tossed into moderation last week, but was written ten months ago, on an article from April 2013, when Donald Trump was not running for president. We’d like to thank the Disqus glitch or whatever for calling our attention to this one, since it’s among our all-time Trump Weirdness stories, about the decidedly odd skin-care regimen Melania imposed on their son Barron, then just seven years old: She put her very own line of caviar-based skin conditioner on the poor kiddo:

“It smells very, very fresh,” Melania, who launched the skincare line exclusively in Lord & Taylor this week, told ABC News. “I put it on him from head to toe. He likes it!”

It turns out that this article from four years ago really upset one “anncauley,” because we are just monsters:

You sick twisted people! Children are off limits, go bully someone else. This reeks of jealousy and envy, coming from what I assume is an adult it’s disgusting. Grow Up and find something interesting to write about. Leave the children alone.

Gosh, we feel terrible, or we would if the article had been making fun of little Barron Trump, which of course it was not: It was making fun of Donald and Melania Trump and their weird penchant for smearing $150 fish-egg-based moisturizer on their innocent child, who as a seven-year-old had very little choice in the matter. Why “anncauley” thought we would be jealous of such horrible people is quite beyond us. Obviously, we hate them for their freedom to put the overpriced lotion on his skin.

Still, we must thank The Accident for belatedly flagging that comment, because otherwise we would have missed this other comment on the same piece, from “sharon,” a year ago:

Beautiful brilliant kids and wife…………..we should be so lucky………..they can afford the nicer things, but they are modest………..

All the kids worked hard to get where they are today, educated hard working

and Huffington post is so liberal only crap is written,,,,,,,,,they are the lowest fourth rate paper………just a gossip rag sheet. Go trump you will be the best president

That is certainly a comment………we wish we could understand why some rightwing commenters write that way,,,,,,,,,It’s not like any published writers, even at Breitbart ———– we mean the staff, not the commenters of course ———– abuse punctuation so mercilessly. Then again, “sharon’s” prose style seems to be an evolving thing; her comment history lately has branched out, now combining the exaggerated ellipses with ALL CAPS:

  • YOU LIBERAL PIGS ARE HATERS…………..NO KIDS SNOWFLAKES……….KARMA TO YOU
  • no idiot………it’s the liberals who are getting desperate by their violent actions
    WE STAND BEHIND TRUMP………..YOU ARE FOOD STAMP REJECTS
  • OBAMA WON ON A LIE………..HE PROMISED FREE HEALTHCARE……………..THAT WAS A HUGE LIE

Funny, that last one strikes us as…….perhaps……mistaken. In conclusion, we are tired of time travel and would like Disqus to please stop turning comment moderation into a Philip K. Dick roleplay, thank you, the end.

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  • TJ Barke

    They took all the derp and put ’em in a derp museum…

  • but rather juvenile en situ

    en situ. A Idiot. Also, you leave my arch terminology alone, Lawrence. I will FIGHT you.

  • PubOption

    Seeing the comment about assembly line jobs, I would like to hear Ben (Rivethead) Hamper’s opinion of Dolt 45.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I think letting folks die because they happen to be on an island and brown like Puerto Rico is offensive. I think allowing common folks and or deranged to have easy access to military weaponry is offensive. I think gutting the Healthcare of regular people for a fucking TaxCut for the 1%ers is really fucking offensive. Killing drivers because they are black is absolutely motherfucking offensive. Saying piss shit fuck Motherfuckers cock pussy and asshole is the real fucking problem.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Fuckin’ A ya.

    • Nockular cavity

      And “laving Putin’s penis” doesn’t actually contain any obscenities. As a matter of fact, I rather appreciated it at the time for the underused word “lave.”

      • Msgr_MΩment

        We would have accepted ‘spit polish’.

      • FlemmishSpy
      • sarafina

        I usually see the word ‘lave’ in bodice rippers. Glad it is gaining general use.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          “In bodice rippers?”

          “Honey,” she panted as the pink silken underthings were pulled roughly down her milky white thighs, “did you remember to lave your husky, throbbing manlybits this time?”

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            Needz moar “Pulsating Love Nubbin”

          • Celtic_Gnome

            “Manuel the gardner placed his mutated member in her quivering quim.”

        • Carole

          We owe William the Conquerer so much.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Shh, don’t remind him, I borrowed 20 deniers from him a while back and I haven’t repaid him yet!

      • proudgrampa

        I confess that I didn’t really know what that word meant until today.

        I get all my news, porn, and English language instruction from Wonkette.

        • Ill-Advised

          Explains how you’re so well educated!

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      The reason “7 words you can’t say on TV” Carlin was Carlin was the same reason anti-war radical catholic priests were a thing – he’d been told early in life that humans operated accoding to fundamental moral principles and later found out it was total bs.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Deleted Comments: Wonkette, Your Filthy Mouth Is The Best Thing About Your Reportage

    You wonquette. Now with award-winning potty mouth.

  • armed_bears

    And we wonder how Trump quite nearly won the election.

    • Carole

      I haz a confuse — I thought he did won because oney Illegal Aliens voted for Hi-Liar-y.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        And all of them in California, where she was going to win anyways.

  • FlemmishSpy

    Do you have to use so many cuss words?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCmJUiidu9k

    • Me not sure

      Fuck. I dunno.

    • redblack

      the fuck you talking about, man?

  • Very boring, as all rantsa re because it is just an outlet to your pent up anger because you are a mediocre human looking for attention. Please don’t give up your assembly line job.

    But liberals are the elite coastal snobs.
    Also, thanks for the new name!

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    dont judge maybe they cannot afford a new keyboard

  • Carole

    The real Museum of Derp is on Milo Yiannopoulos’ Facebook page. If you use any 3-syllable words, his fans will accuse you of elitism, narcissism, and generally trying to make them feel stupid. Because Freezed Peach, Man. Or something.

    • Nockular cavity

      I’ll have to take your word for it.

      • Carole

        He’s trying to come to Chicago in the name of Freezed Peach. So everyone from the sundown towns in Indiana and downstate Illinois is getting in on the act.

        • Oh let him go to Chicago. Really. Let us see if Lilly white boi is man enough.
          In fact, Chicago ought to put out an ad inviting him.
          With lots of smiling faces on it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Hillary” has three syllables.
      Just sayin’.

      • FlownΩver

        As does her left-hand man, Ben Gozzi.

    • Conservative ideologues, in effect, believe in a rule best encapsulated as “Five and Three” when it comes to propaganda–as in:

      *No more than five words to a sentence; and
      *No more than three syllables to a word.

      (The better, presumably, to better win over the Unwashed Masses. Especially where dogwhistles, “straw men”, false analog, No True Scotsman and ad hominem are preferred tools.)

  • The Wanderer

    ” . . . they can afford the nicer things, but they are modest . . . “

    Modest??

    http://www.idesignarch.com/wp-content/uploads/Donald-Melania-Trump-Manhattan-Penthouse_3.jpg

    • Michael R
    • Daniel

      Well, in fairness, nothing in that picture qualifies as a “nicer thing”.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      For certain warped interpretations of “modest” that have nothing at all to do with the conventional interpretation.

      • Daniel

        Those cushions are genuine carrot skin.

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          I thought they were made of Donnie’s foreskin

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            In that case they would be miniscule.

    • Serai 1

      Inorite? These have to be the TACKIEST fucking people I’ve ever run across. You could go blind in that fucking apartment of theirs.

      • willi0000000

        it’s not nice to jerk off, repeatedly, all over everything t’Rump.

        [ appropriate though ]

    • proudgrampa

      “I wonder what the poor people are doing today?”

    • Left Coast Tom

      They live in a Nevada casino?

      • Lord no. Twitler didn’t meet the minimum qualifications of the Nevada Gaming Commission

      • Rags

        Casino interior decoration libelz!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      It’s a luxury hotel lobby. Not actually intended to be a human habitation.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Needs more columns and more cowbell.

    • Mormos

      god its so tacky. the man wouldnt know taste if it fisted him with a colonial rolltop

    • willi0000000

      i’d like to sneak in there and put up a bookshelf.

      [ with books ]

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Lawrence can just go fist himself.

    In situ.

  • I’m not sure about number 1, but 2 is definately true

    https://twitter.com/totallyclairezo/status/917413542583824384

    • FlemmishSpy

      I can scarcely afford my Manchego habit.

      • Serai 1

        Trader Joe’s is your friend.

      • I have a cheese monger. I got local chevre and green peppercorn jack yesterday

        • A Bashful Nobody

          I is afraid of your cheese monster.

    • The Wanderer

      That reminds me – I could really jones for baked Brie with fruit.

      • Plaid Paisley

        That sounds so good. I like figs, or more accurately a figgy jam, with brie. Or just plain brie. All of the brie.

        • The Wanderer

          Little wedges of Brie on crackers are a perfect nosh. I’ve wrapped Brie in pie crust, with a blueberry jam inside. Yummy.

          • Plaid Paisley

            Ooo, that does sound good. I prefer a crusty bread, specifically the very thin baguettes, as the vehicle for shoving cheese in my mouth.

        • Ill-Advised

          Figs and Manchego, for that genuine Iberian experience! Put ‘m on a toothpick; no cracker required.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Every New Year’s Eve, Ms. Gnome and I have brie covered in hot fudge sauce and washed down with champagne.

    • TJ Barke

      Cocaine is for shitty rich people.

      • Nockular cavity

        ^^THAT.

      • The Wanderer

        “Cocaine is God’s way of saying that you have too much money.” – Robin Williams, pbuh

        • therblig

          way back before we found out the horrible truth, bill cosby weighed in on cocaine:

          I said to a guy, “Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful,” and he said, “Because it intensifies your personality.” I said, “Yes, but what if you’re an asshole?”

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I got a serious buzz from cocaine exactly once in my life. It wasn’t worth it. It took a shitload of coke to accomplish, and the high wasn’t that pleasant.

        Give me an old fashioned sativa strain any day.

    • Serai 1

      No one I know does cocaine. WTF, girl, you living in the 80’s or what?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      you know what’s fucking expensive? Nutz – have you seen the price of a can of cashews?

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Meanwhile, in Britain….

    The NHS has been praised for its response to a racist comment on Twitter regarding black blood donors.

    NHS Blood and Transplant tweeted an appeal for more black donors to help black people with sickle cell disease.

    A user replied “If we deport all blacks, this will stop being an issue”. The NHS responded: “OR.. we could just deport you.“.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41621398

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Ah, it’s “Dear Shitferbrainz Time”.

    Time to light a fine cigar and get down to some serious snarking time!

    Problem is, I don’t feel that snarky this morning.

    I hate my life.

  • Nockular cavity

    Y’know, some of actually do find a filthy mouth to be attractive.

    • Plaid Paisley

      (Raises hand)

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I brush regularly, and use floss to remove any stray bits of grass.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Ugh, it’s too early in the morning to be discussing chroniton effects.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/561e8c2e9349733077425179aaf9003b6538d9d062b5ff43bd2356cdc3d8916f.gif

  • If it weren’t for cuss words I’d have no words at all.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Fuckin’ A’, right, Bubba.

    • Me not sure

      Born under a bad mouth?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Looks like I picked the wrong motherfucking day to give up cussing. Goddamnit!

      • I’ve been blue since I began to crawl.

        • Me not sure

          The blues is America’s premier home grown philosophy.

    • proudgrampa

      No shit!

    • bupkus231

      Damn right!

    • doktorzoom

      If it wasn’t for disappointments, I wouldn’t have any appointments. — TMBG

  • That was fast.
    So the Republicans are still running the ZOMG HUMAN TRAFFICKING MS13!!! Ads.
    Just saw the Democrat one saying “He is a desperate liar who stands for taking away healthcare from x amount of virginians”
    lolz

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Niger Lover? We should ALL of us be Niger lovers. Did you hear what happened there? Benghazi.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Also, yellowcake!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        the yellowcakes we like!

    • altleftjohn

      I thought that was in Nambia.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s Africa. How far away could it be?

  • So let me get this straight:

    To conservatives, “real journalists” need to be ideologues, expected to use their skills to serve as “tools and weapons” for the greater glory of the Revolution (cf. North Korea’s Jucheist ideology insisting that writers and reporters are essentially “working intellectuals” having a co-equal revolutionary status with the workers and peasants).

    And that journalism needs to emphasise “winning over hearts and minds” by using their reportage as a “tip of the spear,” so to speak.

    • I just like how he used reportage two times.
      But I am pretty sure, to conservatives, real journalists have to only report how great conservatives are and how bad liberals are.

  • Michael R
    • Nockular cavity

      All my songs.

    • proudgrampa

      That damn F chord…

      • ahughes798

        Do you play it barred at the first fret? I hate those!

        • proudgrampa

          I’ve given up on that one. I play an Fmaj7 and that seems to get me through most of life…

      • Notreelyhelping

        I almost gave up guitar upon encountering the F chord until I read that Clapton hated the damned thing as well.

        • proudgrampa

          EVERYBODY hates the F chord.

          • FlownΩver

            C shape, 5th fret. Just don’t hit the low E, like you don’t on an open D. Am7 included at no extra cost.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    They flag their own comments so you’ll notice them. Mystery solved.

  • Daniel

    Today in poutrage, child sexual assault defender Mike Huckabee explained on Fox that Trump had never, to his recollection, expressed any positive feelings about sexually assaulting women.

    He also managed to forget that time he defended a man who sexually assaulted children, children he was related to. Or that time he played bass for a man singing about having sex with under age girls.

    This is your Christian right, USA.

    • Defending is fine, it was his job.
      But as Govenor he fucking pardoned at least one rapist/murderer who went on to do it AGAIN.
      That is what you should hang on him

      • Daniel

        It wasn’t his job at all. He defended him not as a lawyer but as a TV pundit.

        • …whut

          • Daniel

            Yeah. He defended Josh Duggar’s sexual assault of his own sister (and cousin, I think, as well as another girl who was not related to him) as “youthful mistakes” and so on, as a rightwing talking head rather than in any official, legal capacity.

        • Wait…..Gov stupid serial killer factory is a fucking LAWYER?

          • I thought he was but I may be mistaken on that by a metric shitton
            It is hard to keep these fuckers straight!

          • TJ Barke

            He’s a simple country hyperchicken from a backwater asteroid.

          • Parakeetist

            “Hyperchicken” is my favorite cartoon.

          • Werewolf

            No, he’s a Southern Babdist preacher man. You know, the Southern Babdists-the ones who thought abolishing slavery was an offense to the Lawd.

          • Daniel

            I don’t think so, I was just pointing out he wasn’t doing a job that required him to defend sexual assault against children when he voluntarily defended sexual assault against children. It happened that he is friends with the man who had sexually assaulted children, so that’s why.

    • That’s just because he defines almost all sexual assault as not sexual assault.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    19th Century seems optimistic…

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/919579095427624961

    • therblig

      great. now the price is going to go up right before christmas. i guess santa will have to leave feces for all the naughty children.

      • It’ll be a “test of Faith.”

    • Fareed….we warned you. Multiple times. DO YOU GET IT NOW

    • Vincent Ricola

      “… and then he became president.”

      • The Wanderer

        ” . . . and then, the murders began.”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Why do I read that in Ron Howard’s voice?

      • calliecallie

        And then the murders began.

    • The Wanderer

      Gee, Fareed, don’t act so gods-damned surprised about it.

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah but those high-speed steam locomotives are probably pretty sweet, like France’s Train à Grosse Vapeur (TGV).

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      In response, Amtrak reveals photographs of the new trains that will be running in the heavily-travelled Boston-Washington Corridor: http://cdn3.historyextra.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/623px_wide/Train%202.jpg

      • Ill-Advised

        You’re more optimistic than I am. I imagined horses.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I’m guessing “Jungle” Jim Miller is still insecure over the fact that his girlfriend dumped him for a hot black guy who adored her and gave her tons of happiness while he was regulated to being a forever alone fucksack on the internet.

    Ah well, fuck him with rusty votes and then fuck him some more with new rusty votes.

    • doktorzoom

      That would have been his “Canadian” girlfriend, right?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The Twitter machine has put me on 24 hour probation for calling Donald a fucking moron.

    I knew I should have said “moran”. I knew it!

    • You should complain since he says worse.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Rexx?

    • Left Coast Tom

      You should complain because you’re simply repeating news coverage.

    • Mormos

      maybe go with a big pile of santorum?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      You should explain that you really meant to say “fucking moron.” If it’s good enough for the SoS, it should be good enough for Twitter, dammit.

      • Ill-Advised

        This made me wonder if it were possible that Twitter had higher standards than SOS.

        I can’t decide if that gets me closer to believing six impossible things before breakfast or not.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Fuck those guys. If multimillionaire genius programmers can’t figure out how to make a good social media platform without promoting trolls and punishing the innocent, maybe they should hire some of those liberal arts majors they keep mocking to help figure it out.

      • Crank Tango

        Feature or bug?

        • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

          Neither. They’re just too antisocial to see the issue. Trust me, my father is one.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      But he DEMONSTRATES that he’s a moron several times a day; why don’t they put HIM on 24-hour probation?

    • Eileen Besse

      Next time….

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    This comment was deleted a year ago

    • Plaid Paisley

      Nice!

    • My devestating rebuttal deleted 2 years ago

  • Serai 1

    I think you may have misinterpreted that first comment, at least the bit about the language. I think he meant the obscenities are fine because of the subject you’re aiming them at (the subject being the “scumbags”, not the readers). Otherwise, the second part of the comment wouldn’t make much sense. Honestly, I think he was trying to help.

  • Mormos

    wonkette sux, dok is a dyke, trump has the yoogest hands, whites only, women are the real misogynists…

    am i doing it right?

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      Sadly, yes

    • therblig

      blacks are the real racists and jews are literally hitler.

    • thewalkindude

      Needs moar ALL CAPS and !!!1,,,!!

      • Querolous

        ŬMĻÄŲŤŞ!

  • Sashineb

    Gee, I wonder which lovely “christian” church those people attend??

    • Church of the Holy Fuck you I got mine

    • bbayliss

      The one that believes an omnipotent deity has some need of money?

      • I wonder, you know all the economically anxious?
        How much money would they have in their pockets if they didn’t pay their tithe?
        We should suggest that. En mass.

        • bbayliss

          $7,000

        • *in mass

          • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

            Everyone or just the Catholics?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        The one that believes the wealthy shouldn’t pay taxes, and the poor are disgusting leeches.

    • The Wanderer

      First Church of Christ, Holier-than-Thou.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Holier-than-Thou? Most of these people probably consider themselves holier than Jesus.

        • The Wanderer

          Well, yes. They’d run Jesus out of town on a rail if he showed up.

      • Mormos

        FIRST church you hear! we’re FIRST! US!

        • The Wanderer

          “The church where everyone is equal – BUT JESUS IS LORD!”

          • Mormos

            Jesus saves, everyone else takes damage.

          • The Wanderer

            Jesus saves, by comparison shopping and using double coupons.

          • bupkus231

            Jesus saves, but Buddha invests

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Jesus saves, passes to Mohammed who sinks a three-pointer!

          • Eileen Besse

            JESUS SAVES, ESPOSITO SCORES ON THE REBOUND!

    • The church of the One True® God.

    • altleftjohn

      The First Church of the Second Amendment?

  • proudgrampa

    There must have been a rift in the space-time continuum. It’s the only explanation.

  • ROFL finally a Jill Vogel ad not about “womans rights are about children”
    It is that her opposition is going to grab yer guns!!!!

  • Plaid Paisley

    I thought “obscenity” specifically refers to dirty words, and while “laving Putin’s penis” could be considered an obscene image, all the words were PG. Just saying.

  • To be fair, the entire world is a Philip K. Dick roleplay.

    • Daniel

      Or is it?

      • Wonky Magoo

        That’s what they want you to think.

      • Alternatively, it could be Stanislaw Lem.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Not witty enough.

    • Mormos

      Aldous Huxley libel!

    • covfefesumgame0005

      as someone who has read and loved “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep” and the novel titled “Bladerunner” (about a dystopia when medical services were reserved for the rich ONLY and poors had to be sterilized to get any, so people who provided them were called blade runners, makes more sense then on the the poor adaptation of PKD’s book)(later STOLEN for no good reason and slapped on a movie because people are too fucking STUPID to think about the real title) I really miss Phillip…

      sorry about all the parentheses, but as you can see that kind of crap triggers me &#128521

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • I’ve looked at that cloud from both sides now.

  • Pinkham’s Law

    I’m watching two 17 year old guys try to hang a large picture, which requires two hooks. Their utter incompetence is fascinating. They only need to raise the existing hangers about 4 inches.

    • Cute when they are that age, non?

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Non!

    • If you offer suggestions, will it be “oldsplaining”?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        I had to tell them how. I mean, it’s fun to watch, but I’m paying them $25 for the hour they just wasted!

        I also straight up TOLD them I had been laughing at them!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Never send a teenager to do a unicorn’s job.

      • Me not sure

        Never send a teenager to do anything that they find boring or beneath them. You are just putting off doing it yourself.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          When I was a teenager, I thought everything my parents wanted me to do was both boring and beneath me.

          • Me not sure

            Bingo!

  • Randy Riddle

    I guess the Russian commenting bots had a glitch and were commenting on really old stories this week. Either that or some right wing raving uncle just got around to checking his Facebook account after forgetting he had one six months ago.

    • Rags

      I suspect Discus’ss’s ‘maintenance’ episode last week might have included cleaning out their virtual attic leading to all kinds of crap falling down the stairs.

  • Serai 1
  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Fuck You, Nigger Lover. Hope your family is ass-raped by twelve of them

    He sounds nice, let’s invite him to our Thanksgiving orgy.

    • The Wanderer

      So long as he doesn’t monopolize the baster.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He obviously didn’t notice that prison rape jokes are frowned on around here.

      • Crank Tango

        Kinda racist to assume that they would be ass-raping in prison. They could be doctors or lawyers or something.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          White House staffers.

          • Crank Tango

            Ew those are the worst. I always cross the street when I see’em coming!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And keep your hand on your wallet!

        • calliecallie

          As long as they don’t grow up to be cowboys.

    • But Thanksgiving was last weekend?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        The REAL Thanksgiving.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          It’s the day we get together with our families and give thanks we’re not America.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Trump will make you pay for this!

      • calliecallie

        Do they eat Canadian Bacon on Canadian Thanksgiving?

        • No. Ham is for Easrer

          • calliecallie

            See? There’s the difference between our cultures. A simple thing like tradition never kept a true American from wrapping his turkey in bacon.

    • therblig

      yeah, but only dark meat for him.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Hey, that’s the part I like!
        Oh, wait, I get it. Never mind.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Nudge, nudge!

    • Dibs on the dark meat!!

    • TJ Barke

      Fuck You, Nigger Lover. Hope your family is ass-raped by twelve of them

      The “moral majority”, everyone.

  • Me not sure

    As far as “bad words” are concerned…
    “It’s the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.”
    Lenny Bruce

  • Crank Tango

    I’d rather have crabs than have to read these stupid comments. I hope Dok gets a bonus for doing it.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OT – rice done, Taco filling heating. If these folks think no hot water is going to effect Taco Sunday they have another think coming!

    • Jennifer R

      Taco Sunday sounds like an amazing idea.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        :) I have loads, Taco Tuesday is on as well, and perhaps even Taco Monday.

        • Jennifer R

          This sounds better the more I hear.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Forward Thinking, is it not?

            Soft tortillas, tomatoes, Sour Cream, and 3 kinds of cheese. The filling is Black Beans and Pinto Beans.

          • Eileen Besse

            I like it!

    • Crank Tango

      Did the pilot light get blown out?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        It seems the boiler for the building has a finicky breaker. It was also too out Thursday and yesterday.

        • Crank Tango

          Ah that sucks. We had to get the old stock pot out when our water heater died last winter.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I have that as well. The hot will be back before noon IO’m sure. I just miss my long hot bath in the morning. It’s my preferred wake-up and beauty-routine method.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          It’s either a finicky breaker or a wiring fault. The management had better replace the breaker, STAT! And if it trips again, they had better check the wiring, DOUBLESTAT! Fuck them that it’s a Sunday, gottdammit!

          The purpose of breakers is to prevent fires, dammit!

          And if the wiring is okay, the water heater probably needs a new element.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I agree.

    • OutOfOrbit

      stand strong, my friend

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I think Jim Miller was probably the patriot asshat who kept me up half the fucking night last night with gunfire on the next block.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Oh, man.

    • natoslug

      Was he also firing off a mortar? If so, we might be neighbors.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It sounded like a fucking mortar…a really high caliber rifle at the very least.

    • nightmoth

      Noise ordinance where you live?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yeah…it’s called “call the cops after you’ve been jolted out of bed three times and the dog is so shit-scared she’s trembling next to you under the covers”.

        • nightmoth

          So did they show up and identify where the shots came from?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I don’t know…you never know if they are actually going to show up for things like this. It was a block or two away, so I’m not sure who was responsible. This happens all the fucking time. I live in a relatively safe working class liberal neighborhood, but about three blocks west, it starts getting sketchy in a hurry.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      A crew off in the woods across the highway yesterday was breaking in their new Bumpstocks. I bet Vegas gave some of these assholes *such* a damn boner…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Gotta lay in a big supply of them for when they AREN’T outlawed, right?

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    Guys! I think some right wing trolls were sent back in time by the weeping angels, and now they are sending their cries for help into the future the only way they know how.

    • The angels need to send them back farther

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        How much you wanna bet they did? And they’re scattered all throughout Human history, and THEY’RE THE REASON WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!!

  • Phoenixdoglover

    I have a complaint. Right above this non comment section on my browser window are three images:

    1) Harvey Weinstein
    2) Todd Starnes
    3) The Dotard in Chief

    This is cruel and unusual punishment for being a snarky potty-mouthed libtard.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Sounds like a Jabba The Hut audition.

    • natoslug

      The proper Wonkette non-comment in response to such images is
      “That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.”

      • Phoenixdoglover

        “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way – in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.” – Dickens

    • OutOfOrbit

      look at those like sex-times spanking n you be fine

  • Vincent Ricola

    Happy Holidays, sharon!

    • redblack

      i’m going to start saying, “merry christmas!” every day, just to cheapen it.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Might as well. Our local grocery store has had fruitcake in stock for a week and a half.

    • Werewolf

      All Holidays Matter!

  • C4TWOMAN

    #notallJimMillers

  • https://www.foodlion.com/content/dam/Promotions/SupportOurWarriors/WEB_HopeForWarriors_LandingPage_03.jpg
    This is not ok. In a country where kneeling is a cardinal sin and jingoism is the flavor of the day, it is NOT OK WE HAVE TO HAVE A CHARITY TO FEED SOLDIERS.

    • Seriously. WTF?!?!!!??!!

    • Mormos

      where does the $600 billion a year even go?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I honestly don’t think they even know. Black Budget, procurement, waste, overages…

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Northrop-Grumman. Boeing. Lockheed Martin. General Dynamics. And so forth.

    • Back in my military days, I was on a first name basis with the people in social services. Every young married soldier who came in the door was going to need – whether they knew it when they got their orders – food stamps. If they had kids, well, WIC. Did I think it was awful? Yup, but it was unfortunately necessary.

    • nightmoth

      Smells like a scam, to me. Like that Wounded Warriors scam a few years ago. Has anybody investigated Food Lion over this?

      • natoslug

        I think it would have to be an investigation into Hope for the Warriors — Food Lion is a grocery chain.

        [Edit: And Charity Navigator seems to think they’re legit.
        https://www.charitynavigator.org/index.cfm?bay=search.summary&orgid=13101%5D

        • nightmoth

          Yeah, I know it’s a grocery store. So how would that work? Hope for the Warriors would set up as a non-profit and talk Food Lion into sponsoring them? I’m gonna have to look into this.

          • natoslug

            Totally agree. You’d think the “yer disrespectin’ teh troops!!1!” crowd would quit whinging about people taking a knee over a completely unrelated issue and focus their ire on a government that forces its troops to use food stamps. But that would require them to use logic.

      • jowgajen

        Unfortunately, a lot of people still mistakenly believe Wounded Warriors Project, which has a golden 4 star rating from Charity Navigator, is a scam. WWP is actually an originator in addressing veteran’s mental health stigma and provides valuable psychological, medical, and charitable services to families. It’s unfortunate that this and other internet myths live on.

        • nightmoth

          Well, THAT’S interesting! Thx for the info.

    • Edith Prickly

      Cons LUUURRVE the troops, except when it comes to paying for them.

      • Red Richmond

        Cons don’t really even love the troops themselves, just what the troops get to do: kill brown skinned people and blow shit up in not-murrica. That’s the idea of the troops that these fuckers love, because the troops themselves are poors, some of them are (gasp!) coloreds or womens, and some of them may even be queers or tran-seck-shooals or mooslims or joos. I guess some of them may even love the troops coming home in flag-drapped coffins, for reducing the surplus of poors and creating “fallen heroes” to inspire the next generation of cannon fodder.

        These are sick fucking people, and the hottest fires of hell are too kind a place for them.

    • bupkus231

      The money raised from this “matching program” ( up to $650K from Food Lion ) goes to this charity:

      Link: http://www.hopeforthewarriors.org/

      It’s primarily a veteran’s support organization, providing a variety of services for veteran’s and their families. It’s a “four-star” rated charity by Charity Navigator.

      Kinda takes the snark out of one’s sails…

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Yes and no. The fact that they actually do good work doesn’t negate the fact that they shouldn’t be necessary!

      • nightmoth

        Thanks for the info. Did the research for me!

      • Except for that it is necessary which is the problem. This should not be necessary. It should NOT be ok that matching donations are needed to feed soldiers.

    • SayItWithWookies

      It looks like it also provides food for wounded vets (also horribly neglectful on our country’s part) via the (ugh) Sinise Foundation. And it was started in 2006 when Dubya was sending National Guardspeople and Reservists to Iraq and their employers were cutting them off, which I don’t think is the case now. But weird that the military hides the cost of soldiering by using food stamps and other assistance as subsidies like a common Walmart.

  • “I urge yourself to recognize…” and “en situ.”
    Prose for cons.

    • En situ is not a thing. In situ however is. Prose for cons who have no idea what they are talking about

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        depends on which situation you en….

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          I find that thought incouraging.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Pig Latin. Of a sort.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Shove it up your racist shitholes you genocidally-cretinous, bigot-rimming, totally-unfuckable, war-mongering, traitorous cowards.

    In situ, ad infinitum.

    • Me not sure

      Quid pro quo?

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Veni, vidi, vici also, too.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          Si se puto

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Alea yacta est (See Project Rubicon, upthread.)

        • Kateaux

          Veni, vidi, Vetinari?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Quod erat demonstrandum, baby.

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          Oooh, you speak French.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            OMG, you know what I’m quoting!

      • stumpknocker

        un kappa fifth

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          I Tappa Kegga.

      • armed_bears

        Post hoc, ergo propter hoc?

        • Querolous

          Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.

          • armed_bears

            eenie meenie minie moe!

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Yeah, right in the situ…

    • Covfefe

      In situ, as infinitum et Ultima Thule.

    • CaptainHowdyWinchester

      Hi Abby!

    • JohnW

      E pluribus unim?

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        In hoc signo vinces, baby!

        • Querolous

          Pecunia non olet.

    • pstokk

      Ad nauseam, every fucking day.

  • C4TWOMAN

    Sharon:
    Worst. Wingnut. Poet. Ever.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I don’t think anyone here actually feels good about knowing that Barron stinks of fish roe all the time, thanks to his greedy-ass mother.

    • The Wanderer

      Cats love him, though.

      • ahughes798

        Something tells me he’s not allowed to touch animals. They’re too dirty.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Right? That poor fucking kid. Growing up not ever playing with a puppy or tossing a ball to fetch or having a dog lick his face.

          • therblig

            well, we don’t know what uncle bannon did before daddy sent him to the farm

          • Pisto75666

            Reminds me of that story where the swingset (that the Obama daughters had used, I think) was removed before the Trump family landed at the WH.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yep. Wouldn’t want him playing and having fun like a common Obama. Plus, Negro cooties.

          • ahughes798

            Or a cat to curl up in his lap. Or even a fucking Beta. Which is pronounced Betta, not Baytah, people.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Knowing Trump, he would have a fishbowl with a dozen Betas in it so they can watch them fight.

          • ahughes798

            You’re right. I can imagine his face lighting up with glee watching them tear each other apart, the mofo.

          • Eileen Besse

            Yeah, he would….

        • doktorzoom

          Well, and they all universally hiss and growl at his father.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Rub a pork chop on him and the dog will play with him; if he had a dog. OK, I’ll leave before someone starts yelling “Trig” at me.

    • therblig

      hoo, like a sturgeon

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Madonna had a big hit with that song.

        • Pisto75666

          I loved that song.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Like A Sturgeon?

          • Pisto75666

            Oops..Forgot my sarcasm tag again! (I’m always doing that for some reason xD)

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Sturgeon jizz.

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      Really flaunting the wealth there. Can’t be like us average people who use snail cream, oh no not miz fancy skin slime!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yeah, I guess the ground-up diamond paste was still a little too abrasive, so she had to downgrade a rung or two in cost.

  • ahughes798

    I think the scumbags Lawrence was whinging about are the people you are writing about, not the readers of what you are writing.

    • Covfefe

      Glad you brang that up cuz I always think they’re talking about me

    • doktorzoom

      Yup, I’ve updated.

  • nightmoth

    Didn’t take Jungle Jim long to drop the mask of pretending to know a thing and just come on out with the hoary old “N-lover” did it? His REAL nickname is probably Jungle Gym because he fell off one onto his head back in 2nd grade.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Left him a couple of rungs short.

  • I am watching Joy nerd out at Comic con….i love her

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      I could have lived without the Shatner interview. He makes my skin crawl

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    sort of related to trolls and the concept of masculinity from yesterday:

    Right-Wingers Respond To Harvey Weinstein: Men Aren’t The Problem, They’re The Solution!
    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/10/right-wingers-respond-harvey-weinstein-men

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yeah, we need to be Goode Liddle’ Virgins and get Rescued by a Knight Errant.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Eileen Besse

      Yer KILLIN’ me today–thanks again!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Aw, they’re all Russian trolls, just trying to get in on those sweet Putin bucks in order to fuck up the election, but a little late….

    • Red Bird

      It’s even better when they try to impersonate non-white commenters.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    stupid state blue laws – no beer buying till after 12 on a sunday.

    bah!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      That is soo dumb!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i think you can’t buy liquor at all on sundays – i don’t drink liquor so I’m not sure.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      SOMEbody wasn’t planning very well the night before!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        planning isn’t really one of my things

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        It’s hard to plan when you’re drinking up the notes….

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I used to put a note in my wallet, towards the tail end of the folding money, heading off for a bar crawl: “You’re drunk. Go home”.

      • nightmoth

        One of the things I used to enjoy about College Town, Georgia was seeing the 11:30 p.m. dashes to the liquor store every Saturday night.
        Laws got changed, though, as everybody got more so-fisti-cated.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          My best friend went to a piano tuning school in Bumfuck, north Texas. He worked at a liquor store that was just across the line from a dry county and Oklahoma. He said they’d be lined up for miles sometimes.

          • The Wanderer

            The local Baptist church was a short distance from the stop & rob near where I used to live. You could tell it that church was out at noon from the number of well-dressed redneck inbreds buying beer.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i see an 11:30 dash here sometimes…but we’re texans, soooo…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Those are different from blue state laws.

    • Werewolf

      Gotta love Tex-ass.

    • janecita

      What blue state laws? The liquor stores are open way before noon here in Jersey.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I was so happy to leave Indiana because of those fucking blue laws.

  • Phoenixdoglover

    And the word cloud for this non comment section as of 15 entries ago was this nice set of words.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7935e0c034c8340442295f204a3c475bf8d8faa52420c1a9fa0b35fbecf56a08.png

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      pickwick looms large!

    • Where’s Waldo?

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Dunno, but at the 8:30 position you can see what we’re fucking talking about.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          brie?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Our Cheese Goddess isn’t here. She’d enjoy this.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Needz moar unicorn.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Sorry, you’ve been out-repeated by Thumbnail.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I bet I personally got “fucking” on there.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Team effort!

    • doktorzoom

      Hahaha, “Show new replies”

      • Phoenixdoglover

        I filtered out some words, but other ones snuck in.

        Let me just say, this page is not what it seems.

        • doktorzoom

          Exactly like the owls. (I’d guess your list would have been edit, reply, share, minutes, and ago)

          • Phoenixdoglover

            Also “avatar” and characters like > 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 and a dot

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      How did you do that?

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Clearly I need to snark more. On it!

  • On my drive into Seattle yesterday I passed a truck pulling a small trailer with a “Team Rubicon” logo on it. I’d never heard of them so I checked them out online when I got home and they sound like a really great humanitarian organization.
    https://teamrubiconusa.org

    • pstokk

      They sound hard-core, you wouldn’t want to cross them.

      • The first thing I noticed on the trailer was big bold letters reading: “Veterans Emergency Response Team.”
        I thought it said Veterinarians, so my curiosity was piqued. Anyway, as I was passing them, the man and woman in the truck looked over and smiled at me. That’s actually what made me look up the organization online.

      • The Wanderer

        I Caesar what you did there.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          “Veni, vidi, … umm … oops.”

      • doktorzoom

        That took some Gaul.

        • The Wanderer

          May need to add an Asterix.

    • doktorzoom

      Genuinely nice to see they’re a disaster relief group and not a militia.

      • doktorzoom

        Or so they’d have us believe!

        • I was actually curious to see if anyone has heard anything negative about the group.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Hmmmmh! This sounds like an outfit I would like to support. I need to check them out.

  • Ricky Gay
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Msgr_MΩment

      PlayDoh libel!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Costco’s Halloween display must be up.

      Actually, I’d expect Il Douche to be sending surplus, expired shit from last year.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      FEMA sent someone to the vending machine with a roll of quarters?

    • VirginiaMorningBlend

      I’m going there for Trick or Treat this year!

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Keep in mind they’ve already got Two Scoops and FEMA playing tricks on them, 24/7.

        • VirginiaMorningBlend

          But did you see those snacks?? Focus not on the complete devastation of an American territory and the screw you guys response from our government. SNACKS!! Some even in shiney wrappers!!!11!1!!!

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            VERY shiny, and probably no more than a month past the sell-by date.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Give the children chocolate and soccer balls — it’s what our troops always do when going into foreign countries. We’ll have the Viet Cong rooted out of the Puerto Rican countryside in no time.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I’m sure Pooairtoh Rrrrrrricoh would enjoy the increased infrastructure spending that comes with US military intervention in brown people countries. The wedding bombings, maybe not so much, but freedom ain’t easy.

      • therblig

        carlos don’t surf!

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          <golf clap>

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Who was the fuck who sneaked in here and photographed my breakfast??!??

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      In other words, let them eat cake.

    • pstokk

      Looks like Nestle donated bigly to somebody’s campaign.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      zOMG…SKITTLES!!!!111!1

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

      Looks like they got the shit Texas and Florida didn’t want…

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Looks like FEMA’s planning to take them out to a movie later.

    • Sophia

      Huh? No potato chips?

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Intersting that “Lawrwence” thinks laving Putin’s penis is a good idea “in the abstract,” whereas “en” situ, where it’s actually about Manafort being a paid agent of the Kremlin, he finds it objectionable.

  • covfefesumgame0005
    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      For the GOPtards, more hypocrisy means more money.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Wonkette, your filthy mouth is one of the most attractive things about your reportage

    Broken clock, twice a day &etc.

    • proudgrampa

      Yup.

  • FlemmishSpy

    Richard Spencer is set to speak on the UF campus in Gainesville on Oct. 19. Security will cost $500k and SCOTUS says UF cannot charge (uninvited) Spencer or his group.

    One local brewery found a creative way to fight back: bring in two Spencer tickets and receive a free beer.

    The Miami Herald article is pessimistic, because Spencer knows about the suds deal, but hey, gotta try.

    http://www.miamiherald.com/news/state/florida/article178895986.html

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      “peaceful ethnic cleansing.”
      There is no such thing. Richard Spencer needs to be [redacted for violating the rules]

      • TJ Barke

        Correct. It is absolutely not possible without violence or coercion.

  • Me not sure

    What amazes me, week in and week out, is that these fools continue to provide fodder for their own ridiculing in Sunday’s “Dear Shit Fer Brains”.

    • Ricky Gay

      It’s likely the only attention they get in their shabby little lives. SAD!

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • The Wanderer

      The Pause Pod used to be called a pillow or blanket fort

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Me not sure

      Note to self: Trademark “Sweet Cheeks” for anal deodorant spray.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Butthole Surfers’ new band name.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Butthole Surfactants will keep you clean.

      • ahughes798

        Since not wiping your butt after pooping is apparently a thing now with MGTOW’s, this idea could make you a lot of money!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Something to do with the fact that their moms do their laundry?

        • Me not sure

          I’m always looking for a good profit. I’m thinking a touch of aloe vera in the spray would be a nice touch.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          The MGTOW’s can peel my bidet off of my cold dead toilet!

          • ahughes798

            I’ve never used a bidet. Is the water used for that purpose warm? Because otherwise it’s kind of a shock to the system, LOL

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Actually, it’s just a connection to the cold water tap that fills the toilet. Since I’m in Phoenix, the cold water tap is rarely very cold. So, it’s not a problem insofar as thermal-shock goes. If I lived somewhere where the tap water got really really cold, I would probably get one that allows the water to be warmed somewhat; I don’t know if such things are available, though.

          • ahughes798

            I’ve seen some really high-tech bidets, so I bet there are some that use warm water.

  • Red Bird

    I still can’t understand why the idea of nationalized health care is so offensive to some people.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It is blasphemy unto St. Ayn, the Randy.

    • They don’t want money wasted on medical care when prayers get the job done for free.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      (R) Propaganda.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      ‘Cause while they clearly deserve their Government benefits; everybody else is a lazy taker.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Because then the “others” will somehow be entitled to have healthcare they don’t deserve.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Because people they don’t like get health care. At taxpayer expense!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Lawrence is among the coñoscienti of filthy words.

    • Werewolf

      Yo veo que hiciste allá.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Beautiful brilliant kids and wife…………..we should be so lucky………..they can afford the nicer things, but they are modest………..

    Of course — modesty is the first thing I think of when I think about Trump. The humility he displays by not glomming his name onto every goddamn thing he touches, the self-effacement of substituting gold for actual fucking class — really, it should be acknowledged more often.
    http://hbu.h-cdn.co/assets/16/19/980×490/landscape-1462813673-donald-trump-index.jpg

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That makes me sad.

    • Duke

      I do wonder if Donnie found Ivanka to be hot without the nose and boob jobs.

      They are classy people.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      They always manage to include some of Barron’s stretch limo toys in their family photos, for the common touch. Nothing says “modesty” more than that.

      • therblig

        sadly, those are probably his only friends.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          He might learn things like “socialization” and “trust” if he was allowed to play with other children. God forbid!

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Maybe he has some friends at school? and gets to do kid things with them?

      • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

        And that fucking stuffed lion…

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          That Steiff studio lion is one of only two plush I’ve seen that I want but will never own. (The other was a life-size Siberian tiger.)

      • doktorzoom

        Oh, I dunno. I think he’s just a kid who liked his toys. Maybe he didn’t get to choose them, and might have been every bit as happy with a floppy puppydog plushy. But if he got some comfort from his toys, good on him and I won’t begrudge him liking the toys he was handed.

        Especially with those parents, who he also couldn’t choose.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Agreed, but I’d bet my last dollar he doesn’t get to choose.

        • LucindathePook

          My feeling, and I hope I’m wrong, is that after the photo shoot they go back into the props closet until next time.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            I think that Melania is probably a good enough mother not to do that to him. However, I think he’d be required to keep his toys on his own floor and wouldn’t be permitted to have them at the dinner table or in trump’s living space. And I wonder how often they really dine en famille.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            When there’s a camera present.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            I believe that. trump is such a bully that Melania probably tries to limit her son’s time with his father.

          • Claire

            As seldom as they can get away with it, is my guess.

          • LucindathePook

            I don’t know, they just don’t look played with. My cuz and I used to play Desert Garage in the sandbox with his Tootsie Toys and they were much loved.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      And you may tell yourself
      This is not my beautiful house!
      And you may tell yourself
      This is not my beautiful wife!

      • Msgr_MΩment

        And you may ask yourself, why only two breasts?

    • Me not sure
    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      B: “Can I eat yet?”
      M: “Look pretty for the camera, only 500 more shots to go”
      D: “We are better than everybody.”

    • Jack Takes A Knee
    • Persistent Demme

      I like how Melania and Barron are wearing robes (losers!), while daddy is already in one of his shitty suits.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Melania’s pre-nup forbids wearing clothes in the home

        • Marion in Savannah

          Oh, EWWWW.

    • theCryptofishist

      Okay, do they have a fancy tablecloth just for the end of the table, in case they aren’t entertaining? Or is there some sort of glare issue that’s hiding the table cloth on the rest of the table?

      • SayItWithWookies

        It looks like an inlaid pattern on the whole table and the glare is on the far part. Maybe it’s glass-topped at that end, and they remove it selectively depending on the size of the group dining? I don’t know — I’m not rich enough to be familiar with those sorts of antics.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      I’m thinking glare because it fades out on the other side of the candlesticks. But why are 3 of them eating at that humongous table? Don’t they have a breakfast nook?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Eat in the kitchen?! That’s for the maids. And Tiffany.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Pft. Rich people have two dining rooms for formal and informal dining.

    • starfanglednut

      Every time I see any of these pictures, I feel so sad for Barron I can hardly stand it. That poor kid!

    • mailman27

      The only taste in that room is in the food.

      • Covfefe

        Don’t buy it. Anyone who puts katchup on a scorched steak has no taste in food.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Why is there a hand coming up from under the table next to Barron? Is that Thing?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    where were all of you when Clintons husband was putting cigars into monica Lewinski?

    Well, today’s college students either weren’t born yet or were mere toddlers. Not sure what you were expecting, but thanks for playing, wingnut!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I’m an oldz. So when that was happening, I was cheering him on.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I was minding my own business, thinking that the Clinton’s sex lives are None of My Business, just as mine is none of their business.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        The State has no business in the bedrooms of the Nation.
        – Justin’s dad

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I agree with PM Trudeau, senior.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      Also, too – I’m pretty sure I remember folks being a smidgen upset about that at the time

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Weinstein gets fired by liberals.
        Trump get elected by conservatives.

        Funny how they don’t see a difference.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Wondering if it was consensual?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        All of my fine cigars have to sign a consent form before they can be allowed into my humidor.

    • armed_bears

      A representative from the Cigar Defamation League has to have somewhere to post.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Huh! Wut!

    • Doug Langley

      At the Friday seminar, it was pointed out that next year college students will all be born in the 21st century.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        and post-911.

        Weird.

    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      Party of Personal Responsibility blames everything wrong with America on this one intern’s ladyparts. Details at 11.

    • therblig

      (groucho) out looking for my own humidor (/groucho)

  • Ilgattomorte

    My God Dok! Don’t you see what you have stumbled on to here? This isn’t just some kind of stupid glitch in the Disqus queue system – RIGHT WING RACISTS HAVE FINALLY PERFECTED TIME TRAVEL.

    Don’t you see? The only reason the technology is showing up in the form of stupid, trolling comments on a mommy-blog is because the Republicans are an opposition party only. They are incapable of leading. The only thing they can do as a group is complain, bitch and moan.

    But it’s only a matter of time. Soon they will get together, join forces and start to make decisions as a group. With the power of this technology they will come to their senses. They will begin to talk to one another, come to compromise agreements and force their wills upon the rest …

    … oh yeah, wait. Never mind.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    If you don’t think so then you need to stop protesting when people you don’t agree with are due to speak & remove those of your kind that give the rest of us the opinion that you are a useless lot.

    How dare you object when we try to silence you? INTOLERANT LIBERAL TRASH!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/baae234eef8439761688067bd36e75ed28ece958e8e26ddf96bea5dc207c3543.jpg

    • Stulexington

      Your retaliation is worse than our attack!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Dude, why do you keep hitting your thumb with that hammer?

    “Because liberal snowflakes HATE it!”

    https://twitter.com/AP/status/919246698081288192

    • WotsAllThisThen

      That’ll show those liberal elites who’s boss!

    • TJ Barke

      Cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s face as a political platform.

      • SisterArtemis

        Endorsed by the Leopards Eating People’s Faces folks, of course

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Say, you know who else wrote a rantsa re?

    • doktorzoom

      Rob Ford, that bumbaclot?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        nice jamaican slang! Been watching The Harder They Come?

        • doktorzoom
          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            heh, that was a bit before my time (how did i EVER live without you all?)

          • theCryptofishist

            First sentence of your memoir: My life began the day I discovered Wonkette.

          • proudgrampa

            “And then the murders began.”

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            It was a dark and snarky night

          • doktorzoom

            Have you considered the possibility that you didn’t even EXIST before you started commenting here?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos



            No, I got all this debt here on my credit report. I definitely existed.

          • Querolous

            Since comments are not allowed, does that mean that theCryptofishist does not exist or that doktorzoom does not exist or both?

          • doktorzoom

            Probably.

      • Me not sure

        God, I miss that man. He would make Trump look less horrendous.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    they can afford the nicer things, but they are modest………..

    All the kids worked hard to get where they are today, educated hard working

    https://m.popkey.co/bd2528/861zw.gif

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    Beautiful brilliant kids and wife…………..we should be so lucky………..they can afford the nicer things, but they are modest………..

    All the kids worked hard to get where they are today, educated hard working

    I have no idea who this person is talking about, but they seem nice. Maybe we should have encouraged one of them to run for President.

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • Lizzietish81

      I’ve been on a Next Gen binge lately. As I get older, I find I appreciate Riker more.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        TNG is still my fave. I always loved Riker. My all-time top bit is the line from “Best of Both Worlds” part 2:

        “Then take your best shot Locutus, because we’re about to Intervene.”

        • starfanglednut

          I adore TNG. I’m old enough to have watched it as it aired. When I had to wait a whole summer for Data to blow up the Borg, it was torture.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It was indeed! :) “Mr. Worf…fire.” dun-dun-dun

            It was first run when I was a teen. It literally got me thru the worst years of my life.

          • starfanglednut

            Amen to that. Got me through the hell of early sobriety.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~

            Jean-Luc Picard was the father-figure I needed than. I’d love to tell Sir Patrick Stewart that, in person. He survived familial abuse, he’d understand.

          • starfanglednut

            I loved the paradox of Data, that his longing to feel emotion was itself an emotion. That sometimes we are already who we want to be without knowing it, that spiritual yearning is in itself spiritual. I dunno if that makes sense.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It does. :) Data’s journey has even more meaning for me now that I am Transitioning.

            My theory is that Data *is* feeling emotions, but having woken in blank state with no reference or guidance, does not understand how to comprehend them.

      • starfanglednut

        He’s one of the few men I think looks better with a beard.

        • Covfefe

          Beards are common in Canada. One thing Canadians do well.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Also, this is technically OT but it seems relevant here:

    https://twitter.com/Impeach_D_Trump/status/919342053359849472

    • OrG

      Get it right. It’s FUCKING MORON!

    • TJ Barke

      Yes, Betsy. Yes.

    • shivaskeeper

      I’m pretty sure the original DeVos quote was Andy Borowitz. Weapons grade snark to be sure, but not an actual quote.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Betsy – you cannot kill irony, you can only make it stronger.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I’m not a sportsball fan, but isn’t that what you call an own goal?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Hey, great news! The PD safely detonated an explosive device found outside an entrance to the Days Inn around 130 this morning! How much greater does America have to get?

    • Doug Langley

      Let me guess. The Days Inn is next door to your house?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        It’s a Days Inn. It isn’t near anything. Except a truck stop.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Don’t they usually air-drop a Waffle House somewhere within a mile or two?

        • Doug Langley

          I was just hoping it didn’t wake you up, is all.

    • The Wanderer

      Any arrests yet? Was it a guest who found the soda machine empty except for that yellow can of Canada Dry tonic water that nobody wants?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        What else do you do with gin?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Canada Dry does not require an explosive response. Now Squirt, on the other hand…

        • The Wanderer

          Hehe, heh. They said “squirt….”

  • Good_Gawd_Yall
    • Doug Langley

      “Can I call a friend?”
      “You could if you had one.”

      • proudgrampa

        You’re good.

        • Doug Langley

          Confession: I swiped that one from the Britcom “My Hero”.

          • theCryptofishist

            Always steal from the best.

          • proudgrampa

            Plagiarism is fine as long as you don’t do it for profit.

            Upvotes are hardly profitable…

      • “Would you like a lifeline?”
        “Please…and a razor blade and mirror.”

      • Shanzgood

        I’m waiting for Mueller’s “Is that your final answer?”

    • Shibusa
    • Holly

      My reaction to this ? And I wish I could say it didn’t happen, but it did. I laughed and I almost lost the sip of wine outta my nose. That’s gotta mean something? A testament to how hysterical I’ve become over the past several months maybe?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Golfing while California burns and Puerto Rico starves. What a great man. What a leader.

    What a hoofwanking bunglecunt.

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/919599328393654278

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Obama would’ve been lynched for this.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        They wanted to lynch him for presidenting while black.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Impeachment proceedings would have been started within the hour.

    • TJ Barke

      If this fucker gets reelected, stick a fork in America. The experiment failed.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        It failed last November.

      • starfanglednut

        I doubt we’ll even make it that far.

    • doktorzoom

      California buns? That was a David Lee Roth cover of a Beach Boys song, right?

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Caught that, huh? Thought I corrected quick enough.

        • doktorzoom

          We never update fast enough. Never.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            I stand exposed. I am not one of those modern, fast moving zombies. I am the old, slow, shambling kind. I am so ashamed.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      SO many problems could be solved with just one small mortar shell full of votes…

  • Daniel Hooper

    No, YOU go shove a banana up your nose!… Seemed appropriate, given how all the Shit For Brainz seem to be about random, mistimed complaints.

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Speaking of obscenity. Larry Flynt knows it when he sees it, and “Trump” be thy name.
    “Have dirt that could impeach Trump? Larry Flynt will pay you $10 million.”
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/10/14/have-dirt-that-could-impeach-trump-larry-flynt-will-pay-you-10-million/?utm_term=.961295d0d0a0

    • TJ Barke

      I hope they don’t pay after someone comes forward.

      • Raan

        Have him send it to Planned Parenthood.

      • Haha!!

        • TJ Barke

          Like “Motherfucker! You had to be paid $10,000,000 to save your country? Go fuck yourself.”

  • Lizzietish81
    • Doug Langley

      Feel like I’m in a time warp. Have 2 more weeks of the job from hell, trying to visualize the final day when it’s behind me, telling myself it won’t last . .. ugh.

      • Swampgas_Man

        My own time warp continues for six months, at least. Leaving PA at some indefinite time in the future, working The Job From Hell until then, worrying about all the things I’ll have to do in the final month — Mail books, get rid of furniture, CLEAN– and it’s all driving me a little crazy.

        • Doug Langley

          What job?

          • Swampgas_Man

            Ollie’s Bargain Outlet — Good Stuff Cheap Because We Pay Shit.

          • Doug Langley

            Ouch. Well, we’re all pulling for you.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Phoenixdoglover

      First heard this
      Freshman year of college
      Late at night
      In the back “seat” of a Volkswagen beetle
      Zipping around the back roads of Maryland
      It was very good.

      I may have been tripping at the time.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        That sounds about right.

  • rosenbomb

    “Food Stamp Rejects” is my new indie-synth pop band. We only play obscure venues, but we don’t announce the venue. You have to find us.

    • Me not sure

      Can I use my EBT card to get in?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Admission is a can of tomato soup. Free government cheese appetizers at intermission though.

      • Raan

        If I bring an extra can, am I allowed to melt the cheese in it at intermission?

        • rosenbomb

          Only if you bring a camp stove. You think we have money for heat in this place?

          • Raan

            I’ve got wood and a lighter. Can I go outside for intermission?

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Graham: Trump will lose reelection if GOP is not successful http://thehill.com/homenews/sunday-talk-shows/355524-graham-trump-will-lose-re-election-if-gop-not-successful

    Not tired of winning. I’m not tired of winning.

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    Well, that’s enough of the day wasted. Time to pop upstairs and finish a few things before this wind knocks the power out.* Later!

    * just kidding – the power only ever goes out on warm, sunny days.

  • FDRliberal

    Why do so many of the supremacist idiots who think they represent the “master race”, look like this guy?

    http://a57.foxnews.com/media2.foxnews.com/BrightCove/694940094001/2017/10/10/896/504/694940094001_5603500313001_5603497178001-vs.jpg?ve=1&tl=1

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Because they can’t see themselves in mirrors?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        I get the feeling that he thinks he’s attractive. They usually do.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      And that’s with makeup. Let that sink in.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        “Ummm….the ‘Lost Weekend’ casting call is the next studio over, pal.”

      • Red Richmond

        Makeup applied with a trowel at that. The dissipation of evil on full display.

        • Marion in Savannah

          There’s a portrait of him hidden in a secret room somewhere. In that he looks like a hot 23 year old. He’s the Reverse Dorian Gray.

    • Jack Takes A Knee
    • Carpe Vagenda

      Because if they had anything to take genuine pride in they wouldn’t have to rest their self esteem on being descended from people who were too stupid to spend the ice age where there was food?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        And we thought the Neanderthals hadn’t survived…

    • Paperless Tiger

      Superiority don’t know no discrimination.

    • Raan

      So much of their brains have been eaten by syphilis that they think they look like Max Zorin.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      This is why we have incels.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Nice in the abstract, but rather juvenile en situ.

    • TJ Barke
    • How much jizz does it take to tame that widow’s peak?

    • SayItWithWookies

      The dude they all idolize wasn’t much of a looker either.

  • UncleTravelingMatt
    • Phoenixdoglover

      Should have weighed them on the Richter Scale.

    • Igneous humor rocks!

      • Doug Langley

        What are you talcing about?

        • I’ve neen outclast.

          • Doug Langley

            I’ll just have to take it for granite.

        • Red Richmond

          Shale I spell it out for you?

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        You’re taking up the mantle of King of Puns, then?

        • Red Richmond

          I heard that one has some really hot plumes.

          • Nydia

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !du280d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleLegitimateMarketingJobsFromHomeJobs/get/hourly ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!du280lhhhhh

        • Ooo! Nice one.

        • Shibusa

          I was going to make that joke but I’m too pelite.

      • Daniel

        Gneiss.

    • SayItWithWookies

      I applaud the sediment, faulty though it may be.

      • Querolous

        We alluvial a good pun.

    • As someone who worked in the British Library

      ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

    • hudson

      Nice rack

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Another song about TIME, with enough cowbell to make even Christopher Walken happy.

    https://youtu.be/3dGy7Bn3RWk

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    So, yesterday I’m working my usual job (cashier) and a guy comes through my checkout line wearing a shirt that I could literally not look at because it was so offensive. It had some kind of traitor-flag theme and a nearly-naked woman with her legs stretched out wide open and some kind of logo about what he loves about the traitor flag. I swear to gawd, these people are fucking caricatures of themselves and they don’t even know it. I mention this here because he was like a walking 4chan comments section. I can only imagine what he’d have to say if he stumbled upon us.

  • UncleTravelingMatt
    • DerrickWildcat

      Joe Jackson Libel!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Audio for the Jackson version was worse than this one.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Me not sure

    Rex Tillerson today: “We’ll continue to talk to North Korea until the first bomb falls.”
    Trumplomacy.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Moron contagion.

  • shivaskeeper

    Alright Wonkers. The collective has the answer to every question ever asked.

    Here’s the question. Where the fuck did I put 1/4 sheet sander? I use it rarely as I like the orbital sanders better, but I need the 1/4 sheet for the current project. So where is it?

    • 42

      • shivaskeeper

        True, but not a physical location.

        • Not my problem. It’s The Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything, which holds that it is the answer to your question

          • shivaskeeper

            Also true, but I am looking for a something smaller scale than everything. Unless you think Zaphod stole it. I wouldn’t put it past him.

          • Never discount that possibility

        • Me not sure

          I have one in my garage, but I don’t remember buying one. Yours?

          • Is garage space like Library or L-Space?

          • shivaskeeper

            Did Mrs Keeper loan it to you? Right now that is the most likely case. She loans out tools on occasion and forgets to get them back.

          • Me not sure

            I don’t sand and tell.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          you want that in degrees and minutes, decimal coordinates, or military grid?

      • Me not sure

        So long, and thanks for all the fish.

        • Eileen Besse

          Along with Kiri, you he also made me happy today.

          • Me not sure

            Wow! I feel better now, too. This reciprocity thing is great!

    • Phoenixdoglover

      As my Mom always said, “Where you left it.”

      • Jonny On Maui

        Once again, shoulda read down…

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      You put it on top of the cabinet when you were looking for something else.

    • Doug Langley

      What’s the prob? Just take the 3/4 sheet and cut it in three.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Aisle 4.

    • doktorzoom

      You know those missing socks? It’s with them.

      • shivaskeeper

        That’s what I’m thinking at this point.

      • Me not sure

        Don’t you mean it? I only lose them in singles.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Deeper in the pile/ corner where you glanced. Or it’s gone forever. — speaking to my usual combination of mostly putting things away, but then not finding them there after a cursory Man-Look

    • With all your teaspoons

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      As an old boss of mine used to say, “If it was up your butt you’d know where it was.”

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        He sounds nice.

        • TheGrandWazoo2

          He looked and acted like Steve Bannon.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Ew.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            The horror! The horror!

      • Beanz&Berryz

        That got me laughing …

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I’m sure your old boss’s technique for finding shit is applicable to everyone else.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Did you check in the chronosynclastic infundibulum?

      • Eileen Besse

        NOW I can die happy…. Thanks.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        It’s right next to the interrossiter.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Wherever it is, the key that turns on my gas fireplace may be keeping it company. That thing seems to have been sucked through some kind of warp in the space-time continuum.

      • theCryptofishist

        Ask Eddie–he’s there, maybe he’s seen it.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      The room isn’t that fucking big. It was right there. It didn’t just get up and walk away.

      • shivaskeeper

        I miss George.

      • Doug Langley

        You knocked it behind the circular saw when you reached for the socket wrench and now it’s behind the cans of acrylic paint.

        And no, we don’t have your home under surveillance. Sheesh, how do these rumors start?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Do you have cats?

      • shivaskeeper

        I do.

      • Me not sure

        Holmes, old man, how do you do it?

        • eggs ackly-wright

          EllaFitzgerald, my dear Whopper.

    • calliecallie

      Here’s a thing I heard 30 years ago, and sometimes it actually works:
      “All the things you need will come to you, and all the things you need to find will be revealed to you.”
      So breathe deep, stay calm, and let the thing be revealed to you.

      • David Chaillou

        You can try picturing it in your mind, surrounded by a golden halo, with you in the picture somewhere.

        It will soon be barreling towards you like a Mack truck.

      • Grumpy Twat

        Unless my wife has helped you to “tidy up” in a rush because she needed to clear some space. If that is the case just buy a new one, because it will only be revealed in five years’ time, in that biscuit tin where you keep those bags of screws.

    • Jonny On Maui

      In exactly the last place you put it…

    • chascates

      I borrowed it but fucked it up. Sorry.

    • SayItWithWookies

      They’re on your head! No wait — that’s my glasses.

    • Stulexington

      It’s in the cabinet in the garage, third drawer from the bottom, way in the back.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      In a deuce and a half, silly!

    • Red Richmond

      It’s in the very last place you’ll look for it.

    • RobKanC

      Have you tried turning it off and on again?

    • David Chaillou

      It isn’t. It’s been rotated at right angles to everything else. You grok?

    • Crank Tango

      It’s right there, behind that one thing.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Under the towel.

    • Finnibar87

      Laundry room.

      Everything ends up in the wash.

      • marxalot

        I thought that was where things came out?

    • Marion in Savannah

      If you’re anything like Mr. MinS it’s right out in the open, and you’ve walked past it at least 6 times today.

      • Finnibar87

        I have custody of one who also has a severe case of the refrigerator blindness.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Must be Mr. MinS’s close relative — I sympathize. I’m asked at least twice a week to put something we have 6 of on the shopping list, or to find something in the refrigerator that’s sitting in the same place it has for months. (The last is his favorite mustard.)

        • marxalot

          Comrade Mom has always called it Male Pattern Blindness. It does, of course, show up on the distaff side, too, though not as frequently or as strongly.

      • Grumpy Twat

        If you’re anything like me, it’s in the middle of your workbench and you’ve been looking straight at the fucking thing for the last ten minutes.

    • shastakoala

      If the dog ate it, it will turn up sooner or later.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Left rear corner of the shelf under your workbench. Behind the drill bits.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Check the freezer.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • DerrickWildcat
  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    1/20/17. America’s mainframe gets a Core Transplant…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LovYNScgReY

  • Charon_69

    Why do these assholes need to go ruin things from my childhood?
    Jungle Jim was a drag-racer in the 70s
    http://images40.fotki.com/v697/photos/9/61479/12020852/JungleJimCamaro-vi.jpg

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’m sure if I did some actual research, I’d be enraged by the blind stupidity of it, but do any of you know why 3 hospital workers from 2 different hospitals have left messages since thursday wanting to discuss their “right” to not get a flu shot?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Because they’re trumpanzees?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        That would be my guess.

    • David Chaillou

      Because our world has become so complex that people live in fear of everything?

      The Shockwave Rider syndrome.

    • Nope. If you are a front-line health care worker, not a fucking option

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        The hospitals have evidently told them every employee gets one, period. Since 2 of them work in a right-to-work state, I guess them’s the breaks.

        • We tell our community teams that. We’re not right to work (Ontario, Canada) but it is an expectation of employment, like having a working vehicle, and wearing new nitrile gloves at every patient interaction

      • Eileen Besse

        Since we moved down here in FL, I’ve worked in hospital patient registration, and we ALL had to have the shot and proof in our files (I know, CYA for them). Loved that I got it free. Now I’m an oldz so it’s “free” again.

    • Edith Prickly

      Because even healthcare workers are not immune to anti-vaxxer bullshit.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      same vein (vane?) as anti-vaxers. Nurses are required to, but don’t wanna.

      go look it up here:
      http://sciencebasedmedicine.org

    • Shanzgood

      Why would a hospital worker NOT want a flu shot?! Jesus, they work in the germiest places EVER. It’s like not wanting to wear gloves or wash your hands.

    • Covfefe

      The clue is they want to discuss it. If there were a good faith reason, founded upon medical science, they could just go to a supervisor and get an exemption.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Yeah, I took it to be some sort of anti-vaxxer stunt. I know one of the callers got fired from a different hospital for her rabblerousing on behalf of a nurse fired for her anti-circumcision crusading.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      The line I hear from folks in education who refuse is “It’ll give me the flu” (no, it won’t), “It hurt too much the last time” (probably because whoever stuck you did it wrong) and “I’ll get the flu anyway” (maybe, since it only covers the most likely strain).
      We can’t mandate it. but we point out that getting knocked flat for a week isn’t a great plan.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        I got my flu shot last week at Walgreen’s. I honestly didn’t even feel the needle prick, haven’t had a single side effect.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Jesus, if I worked in a school I’d get a protective bubble. Every time I’m around my little nieces and nephews I come away with some new plague.

        • Sickest i have even been is around my friend’s kid who was in daycare at the time. Kid had slight sniffles, i, on the other hand, i may as well have been in a coma for a week

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Well, last year we had a measles scare, and then a massive foot-and-mouth disease outbreak. This year we just got a warning about viral meningitis spreading.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Children are open, festering petri dishes of vicious diseases.

        • Doug Langley

          College ain’t much better. One lady with a raging cold was dedicated enough to come to class anyway. Yep, I got it.

          • bupkus231

            Hell, every winter, the colds and flu running around our 4-person campus apartment ( let alone the dorms ) were enough for us to nickname it after that other Solzhenitsyn novel. “Cancer Ward” ( we usually called it “The Garden”, ’cause of all the vegetables hanging out there… )

      • Edith Prickly

        I’ve found a lot of people don’t actually know what “flu” is, especially since we call gastric viruses “stomach flu”. I’ve gotten into it with hot air bags on the Faceplace who tell me that “throwing up for a couple of days isn’t a big deal, I don’t need the vaccine.” Anyone who’s had influenza knows what fucking hell it is – fever, bones so achy you can’t sleep, coughing up crap, and fatigue that lasts for weeks once the acute symptoms are over. Also highly contagious and potentially fatal to the very young and the very old. A sore shoulder is a small price to pay for avoiding that.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Yeah, I caught it the first week of July. I spend 4 days in bed and by day 5 I could manage to stand for longer than 15 minutes before passing out.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          The last time I had the flu was a few decades ago. I was so weak I had to crawl 20′ to the bathroom and take rest stops on the way. Thereafter I’ve gotten a flu shot every year.

          • Eileen Besse

            Flu shots for us this week, once again.

          • Eileen Besse

            When I worked in undergrad programs at UMass/Amherst, I got the flu or worse EVERY winter. Didn’t matter if I’d had the flu shot (when they came into existence), I got flu or something worse. When I moved into working in a PhD program, it suddenly stopped. Hmmm, said I….

      • marxalot

        The three days of “flu like symptoms” aren’t the actual flu, but try telling people that.

      • natoslug

        Sharing is caring. And the flu is something that is so easily shared. Therefore, transmitting the flu to everyone in the hospital/school district/whatevzman is caring of the highest order. Ergo propisometing fidget molester (or whatever the Latin phrase is that I’m looking for to describe my incredible logic skills).

    • marxalot

      I don’t get them (usually) because I have a compromised immune system.
      Yes, I know that doesn’t sound like it makes sense, until I say that the “compromised” in my case means “hyper aggressive.” If I get the vaccine, I will get the full week of flu-like symptoms, which I find unpleasant. If I don’t get the vaccine, it gives my immune system something to attack other than my food, and 9 years out of 10 I still don’t get the flu. I’ve had this conversation with three doctors, all of whom have advised me against getting the shot, but that’s not really a “right” not to have my precious bodily fluids tampered with as much as it is “I lived with someone while she had swine flu and developed no symptoms because my immune system needs the exercise or it goes after my intestinal flora.”

  • Villago Delenda Est

    What “Jungle Jim” (is that some sort of strange projection thing?) doesn’t get that “The Black Family” was repeatedly shat upon by slave owners (who, to be fair, at the time were Democrats, just not Democrats post LBJ) who routinely broke up Black families for fun and profit.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Someone is no longer my drunkard Sparkle Pony…

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/15/politics/trump-paul-graham-golf/index.html

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Damn CNN and their autoplay!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Golfing with the fucking idiot = sure sign you’re collaborationist swine.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I get really annoyed when white people like Jungle Jim talk about how Democratic social programs have destroyed “The Black Family.” Perhaps he isn’t old enough to remember how poor African Americans lived in towns and cities before the advent of public housing, Medicare, Food Stamps, AFDC and Section 8. They lived in shacks in segregated neighborhoods with no indoor plumbing or central heat, and they worked for slave wages as domestic servants. I remember seeing a neighborhood like this in my very own town when I was about 5 years old (1961), and I was shocked that Americans lived like that, as I had only seen people living at that level of poverty in Mexican slums. There was a black man in my town who had no legs, and he made a wooden wagon with rubber wheels attached to it, and he sat in and propelled himself down the sidewalks using his hands, which were wrapped in rags. He supported himself by selling pencils. There was no Medicaid or Medicare, so he couldn’t afford a wheelchair, and nobody would hire him. When I was about 7, he disappeared – I suppose he died. I called him “The Pencil Man” but everyone else called him “No Legs George.”

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      sort of a tangent, but there’s a really great documentary about a St. Louis housing project that went to hell in the 70’s(?).

      I don’t remember the name or where can you see it, so I’m not really helping.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’ve seen it – it’s about Pruitt-Igoe, a high-rise public housing community built in 1956 and blown up in 1972. High-rise public housing has never been successful. In my little town they built terraced housing of 2-story and single-story brick homes with a fair amount of green space, quite near the downtown area, and since then 8 more low-income apartment complexes have been built around town, none more than 2 stories tall. There is also a 100-unit complex of single-level accessible apartments for disabled low-income residents.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          that’s it! I liked it.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            When I lived in Chicago 30 years ago, the train I took to work passed an enormous high-rise public housing apartment block on the South Side that was surrounded by an ocean of concrete and a tall chain link fence with barbed wire on top. It looked like a prison. Effectively, it WAS a prison. It was obviously empty, and I don’t know if it was ever torn down. I looked at that place every day and thought “You treat people like overcrowded rats stuck in a concrete box, and that’s how they will behave.”

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            did you ever go over to the infamous Cabrini Green…we passed once (or maybe a different one, it was on W. Divisoin street), it fucking metal grating over the walkways.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I drove past it once. I was disgusted to read a few years ago that when it was torn down, it was replaced with upscale apartments. The article said “Cabrini–Green’s location became increasingly desirable to private developers.”

        • bupkus231

          Link: http://www.pruitt-igoe.com/the-pruitt-igoe-myth/

          also, the documentary itself was uploaded to YouTube:

          Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IC9NEd8l84

          There’s no doubt that the Pruitt-Igoe project was a failure – but people seem to have many different opinions as to why it failed, depending on their own, often warped, POVs.

    • Edith Prickly

      You know what’s really interesting? Black people keep voting for the Democrats anyway. It’s kind of like they don’t believe Democrats destroyed Their Family…

      • It’s fun to watch the Jill Stein / nutcases-for-Bernie demographic try to argue that away without sounding like racists themselves.

    • Shanzgood

      These same white people ignore the fact that Black people are incarcerated and killed by cops at a much higher rate than white people. That does quite the number on the family dynamic.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Also, the destruction of the “Black Family” began in the days of slavery, when slaves in the South were not allowed to marry legally, and families were regularly separated.

        • Shanzgood

          Yes, but I was trying to stay a bit more current like the DSFB poster/s.

        • Covfefe

          You’ll have to do your own research on this, sorry, but I believe the better view is that the black family was stable until the Great Depression.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I have researched this, and there is great variety in the history of “The Black Family” in the US. There is no one single story. There is, in fact, a very long tradition of absent fathers and matriarchal family structures in Black History, but it is not an all-encompassing tradition.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        They also ignore the fact that tens of millions of low-income WHITE people receive those same social benefits, which has nothing to do with the fact that their family dynamics might not be altogether positive.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        If they ignored it, they would be tolerable. Instead, they excuse, rationalize, and justify it as arising from something other than racism.

      • marxalot

        And the fact that the “absent father” (as opposed to the violently interrupted life of the enslaved family) became normalized as a positive thing in the early days of Jim Crow– men often had to travel for work, but the best jobs, hands down, available to Black men were as Pullman porters. Pullman had an integrated union, which secured good wages and benefits to porters and their families, and it beat holy hell out of sharecropping. Two generations of that and the matriarchal structure with transient male providers that still repeats in the Black community was cemented, but did not indicate poverty or a destabilized homelife. Quite the opposite! The knock on effects as the employment landscape changed and social life with it, combined with the perpetually outsized effect of incarceration and murder that plagues the Black community, have had a significant impact on Black lives and Black families, but to attempt to contrast Black families to white ones without understanding how racist pressures have shaped even the “fundamental” nuclear family is willful ignorance at best.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Very true, thanks for bringing that up.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hs8bZbaoIhQ&index=1&t=2162s&list=PLgA_QpnjZQyyo6Zk0OtvIRNrC07auHSVh

      Ever see this, Everypony? It’s an HBO Documentary. It’s harrowing.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I have not seen it, but it sounds fascinating. The situation was even worse in rural areas than what I have described above, and it hasn’t changed much.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Pretty much. It’s a sad story, but there is hope as well.

  • folderol

    (to the tune “The Way We Were”, dedicated to the mercifully banhammered)

    Librals,
    You have tiny little minds
    Seems there are so many librals,
    How I wish there weren’t

    Scatterbrained
    and filthy tripe is all I find
    Talking trash about your betters,
    Oh how I wish you weren’t

    Could it be you socialists are traitors, huh?
    Do you have to cuss in each and every line?
    Maybe do some real journalism, duh
    Tell me: could you? Would you?

    Librals,
    You don’t seem to really get
    That our Donnie is the winner
    And he’ll MAGA us, you bet

    Bye now, you suckers
    You are such losers
    When will you get a clue, sirs

    Oh how I wish you weren’t
    How I wish you weren’t

    • shastakoala

      Your song is lovely, Hubbell.

    • Raan

      Also dedicated to the wingnut trolls: see you later, fuckers.

      https://youtu.be/72bPUXefB8c

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Choke on some socialism, couz… https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ib-Qiyklq-Q

    • Bill Diaz

      You are A IDIOT.

      Have a great day!

      • folderol

        People really should check comment histories before passing judgement. Hugs and kisses.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Tell me, WaPo link, does my congress critter have something important to say?

    The White House is trying to rush the Russia probes. We can’t let that happen.

    Mueller’s probe is far better resourced than any of the congressional probes, with an experienced team of prosecutors and investigators and the FBI able to assist its work. But his role differs from that of Congress. While he will determine whether U.S. laws have been violated and, if so, who should be prosecuted, it is not his job to tell the American people what happened or prescribe remedies. That is the sole responsibility of Congress, and we must perform it with the zeal that the public interest demands.

    Here is the challenge: If Mueller finds evidence implicating the president, presumably he will share that information with Congress so that this body can determine whether it rises to a level justifying removal from office. If he finds evidence of criminality concerning other members of the Trump campaign that he believes he can prove beyond a reasonable doubt, we will learn about that in an indictment. But what if he finds, with the stronger investigatory resources at his disposal, evidence of collusion that is clear or convincing but not strong enough to take to a jury — will that ever be shared with Congress? If it is not, can our report to the public ever be truly complete?

    tl;dr for the wingnuts who want to rush things so they can cover it all up:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d9a8ed5f0c0672c129b28a7241e30ddf0ab740f8a1a2125e2504e4572177a62.jpg

    • I learned yesterday that there is one corner in LA that is where Schiff’s, Ted Lieu’s, and Brad Sherman’s districts meet up. There should be an aweome party there on Nov 6th this year

      • Bill Diaz

        Ted Lieu (Colonel Lieu) represents Hawaii as a Senator, so there is no way anyone in LA is in his district.

        Have a great day!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Now, have you got a “Jesus fucking Christ” moment for us, different WaPo link?

    Almost half of Republicans want war with North Korea, a new poll says. Is it the Trump Effect?

    http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsqalzGNII1qawewr.gif

    • TJ Barke

      Fucking savages.

    • RobKanC

      ‘Member how Hillary would start a war but Trump would keep us out.. Ha!!! Good times..

    • Finnibar87

      The crazy is getting worse.

    • Ling Ling

      Whenever I bump into someone arguing for a war, I invite them to get on a plane and go to the unhappy place and play. Nobody is stopping them. Always disappointed at RWNJ screaming for blood but unwilling to go spill it first hand.

      • marxalot

        Revive the First Horse doctrine. Enough sending the young and poor and desperate and brown and trans and everyone else who enlists as a Way Out. Draft the Kennedy School at Harvard.

        • Bill Diaz

          Everyone in the military is a volunteer, they made a choice to serve, they were not drafted or forced to serve unwillingly. I am a firm opponent of the draft or involuntary service, but like you hate the hypocrisy of those who are willing to see this nation murder, but not put themselves (or their children) at risk.

          My own son (against my wishes) wants to go into SF as a doctor because he is half Russian and despises Putin. My objection isnt service or that it is dangerous, but that the man who is ‘Commander in Chief’ is insane and potentially the most dangerous man in the world.

          But the hypocrisy of the emo-Nazi right wing is disgusting and always has been.

          Have a great day!

      • JohnC44

        That would be because every one of them are world class shameless hypocrites with zero honor and even less class.

      • Bill Diaz

        I would be willing to go. I dont think that war is ever a good choice and am ashamed at the sheer number of countries that the US is murdering civilians right now (over 100 at the present time) in an ignorant, racist ‘Global War on Terrorism’, but North Korea is an entirely different kettle of fish.

        Letting KJU put a nuke on a missile, giving him the chance to be the greatest mass murderer in history is something that the free world cannot and will not allow. There are some situations that cannot be resolved with diplomacy and this is one of them.

        2/505 PIR, H-Minus
        Have a great day!

        • Ling Ling

          There are many, many military veterans on Wonkette (of both sexes). Much collective experience, but I’m only speaking for myself. I have suffered many trips to the ROK and surrounding waters. If there was an easy solution to the DPRK, it would have already been executed. I personally not see much difference between the DPRK threatening the USA and Khrushchev but I’ve always been ambivalent about radioactive craters. My point still stands: if you feel so strongly, then I invite you to visit lovely Seoul, Korea and make your opinions known. The correct people will contact you. Enjoy.

    • Covfefe

      Remember what Colin Powell told Clinton when Clinton started talking about sending American troops into the former Yugoslavia, when the religious and enthnic wars started? “We don’t do mountains.” Where did the US learn that lesson?

      • Finnibar87

        No one wants to fight over a fucking mountain.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Gurkha libelz!

      • marxalot

        Well, not in Afghanistan, that’s for damn sure.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Probably not at Ft. Drum.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        There was something about that in one of the Vietnam War episodes.

      • Eileen Besse

        Powell telling him a lesson learned in Viet Nam. Over and over and over and over and over, unto covfefe….

        • Covfefe

          Actually, that lesson was learned in the Korean Conflict.

          • Eileen Besse

            You’re right. But the lesson was taught, but it wasn’t learned. Never will be learned. Glad to be an oldz, some days.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      They love the troops so much, they want them to die in a war.

      • Shibusa

        But they’ll stand with hands over hearts humming to the national anthem when the coffins come home, though, so…patriots!

      • Bill Diaz

        That is unfair in many respects. Most of us who see the need to remove KJU from the board are not warmongers or want to see widespread deaths, but recognize the threat posed by that madman being able to marry a 2 stage device to a delivery system.

        That cannot be allowed and I welcome any suggestions you may have how to prevent that without resorting to conflict. The potential threat posed by conventional arms on South Korea is bad enough, but to allow him to extend his murderous reach to the entire world is a risk we cannot bear.

        Have a great day!

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          There’s a big difference between knowing a war has to take place in order to prevent something even more terrible, and conservatives whose answer to any and every problem is sending troops to a war they themselves will never fight in. The comment to which I replied makes it very clear who I am talking about. If you feel you fit in with that particular group, don’t look to me to be treated “fairly”.

          Have a great day!

    • ltmcdies

      well I hope they all sign up

      I mean really…they want “war” with the state they think will be loser for sure.

      How did that thinking in Vietnam again.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        How many of them are young enough to sign up?

    • jesterpunk

      Ow my bones spurs that suddenly happened when the draft was reinstated.

    • Bill Diaz

      We should have cleaned them out in 2006 when they detonated their first nuclear device, but we were in 2 ill conceived wars already. We need to kill KJU now before they are able to marry a nuclear warhead to a ballistic missile, but Trump is the wrong person to make that decision. It isnt NK that scares me, we can destroy their entire military infrastructure and equipment in ~15 mins from ‘GO!’, but Trump’s frequently expressed desire to use nuclear weapons to do it.

      And yes, I am a combat veteran and if I werent completely disabled, would be willing to put my life on the line to do it. We cannot have a man willing to use weapons of mass destruction to murder his brother in a public place to be able to threaten the entire world with a nuclear weapon. I am not a fan of war, but letting KJU threaten the entire world cannot be tolerated.

      2/505 PIR, H-Minus
      Have a great day!

      • bupkus231

        Somehow, your opinions here do not allay my fears. You were a combat veteran and ended up completely disabled, yet you speak of destroying the entire NK military infrastructure and equipment in ~15 minutes – but do not consider the deaths that would cause – not only in NK ( presumably “okay” because they’re “the enemy” ) but also in SK and likely also Japan.

        I would insult your intelligence – but since you played the disabled veteran card, I guess I can’t.

    • Shibusa

      They should all be forced to visit one by one with injured soldiers in the Walter Reed Army Medical Center. Then they should be forced to sign up to serve, or sign up their kids to serve. Then they need to be charged a war tax.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Deleted comments like these are why I need booze. It’s either that or a lobotomy, and as you can see from the quality of SFB commenter, that isn’t making people happier. In fact, quite the opposite.

    • Panika MCD

      I need booze because of how shitty everything else is. DSFB is one of the reasons I don’t need as much.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Some days I can laugh at them, but today I am filled with despair for how stupid and hateful some people are.

        • Panika MCD

          I usually despair when it’s people on our side who appear to have taken stupid pills.

        • Bill Diaz

          It is hard not being hateful given the current state and ‘leadership’ of this nation currently and all the f*cked up things we do to people all over the globe (including Americans).

          Have a great day!

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      I would rather have a bottle in front of me.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        ISWYDT

  • Finnibar87

    I despise the abuse of the ellipsis, sure.

    But the comma thing? I always suspect that is from a non native English language writer.

    Maybe Esperanto?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Sadly, I know a few Murican-born types that do it. It’s weird,,,,, and I don’t get what they think they are communicating.

      • Finnibar87

        Punctuation provides clarity in one’s writing.

        Those comma obsessed and ellipsis abusers are opaque as fuck.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        My hubby does it and it makes me nuts. I go in and edit his FB comments regularly.

    • Raan

      Or someone who gets SO ANGRY over people on the internet with opinions that they mash the wrong key.

      • Finnibar87

        Funny.

        I updated my iOS, and the comma? GONE!

        I have since discovered it is unlabeled for some reason.

        Coincidence?!

        • Raan

          Apple doesn’t want people to breathe confirmed.

          • Finnibar87

            Prompting one to mutter ‘what new devilry is this bit?’

    • OutOfOrbit

      you mean like a solar ellips?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Of the heart?

    • proudgrampa

      dot dot dot

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        don’t quote me…

    • JohnC44

      I’m thinking Illyrian.

  • Ling Ling

    I love wonkette for swear words, and I urge the continuance to write provocative articles that include full spectrum adult swear words. It’s the only way to weed out the snowflakes.

    • Doug Langley
    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      i jest wanda freedumb to fuckin’ swears wen appropos

    • H0mer0

      That clip from “The Wire” one of youse shared here was high art to me, the expression of a whole scene which the dialog contained various forms and permutations of the F-word.
      Also too, why do people think it’s an insult to call us childish? They voted a childish and vulgar man into Hillary’s office so that must mean something to them.

  • Panika MCD

    forgot to include one of the more shitty revelations from the TX House Pub Ed hearing on Thurs:

    remember how the USDA and TX Ag Dept. said they would be doing free lunch for all Harvey affected schools for the entirety of the 2017-2018 school year and we were like “DAW! Thanks for doing a GOOD!”??? now it’s only through Halloween. BOO!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Someone threaten to expose them as squishy liberals or something? Geez!

      • Panika MCD

        IDK. about the only thing Sid Miller has done to try to get re-elected is to expand the Texans Feeding Texans program which mostly gives food to free or reduced school meal programs. we have new food sharing programs, but I don’t think that’s going to help at Harvey affected schools.

    • Bill Diaz

      We will spend hundreds of billions of dollars murdering civilians and making rubble out of more rubble, but heaven forbid some kids get a decent meal daily. Sometimes I hate this country (and I ALWAYS hate Texas).

      Have a great day!

      • H0mer0

        I keep thinking that all this waste, fraud and abuse involving their attempt at repealing the ACA and Trumps “presidential” firing of missiles at an abandoned base in Syria should come out of their (Trumps and the GOP’s) allowance. It will never happen because they will make others pay for their mistakes and they will never learn.

        • Panika MCD

          revenue streams don’t tend to work the way we want them to. they usually have given uses. you can’t just expect more money (or more food) if you decrease the DOD budget. it’s possible, but depending on which revenue streams they cut, it may not be usable. it may just pile up in a dedicated account.

      • Panika MCD

        you hate an entire state, that’s fabulous. 30 million people can suck it because you have decided we’re all the same. not that you know a whole lot about us. but you told me to have a great day anyway…WTF? and what the hell does what I said have to do with the DOD? it really fucking doesn’t.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Bill, you really ought to drop the “Have a great day! schtick. At best, it’s off-putting; at worst, insulting.

  • David Chaillou
    • OutOfOrbit

      my brain map different purdy sure it is yep

    • proudgrampa

      This is why we’re fucked.

  • Finnibar87

    But y’all have such a purty mouth.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Because aliens ate my Buick!

    https://youtu.be/dHH3ipoa5Bs

    • Bill Diaz

      That is an AWESOME album! I am teaching a Russian colleague about American music (even though Dolby is a Brit and child of a British diplomat) and this is one of my favorite albums of all time. Thank you for reminding me, I am putting it on now.

      Have a great day!

  • marxalot

    KARMA TO YOU, FOOD STAMP REJECTS
    This new coffee is really good, how is everyone this (*glances at clock, does Time Zone math*) brunchtime?

    • OutOfOrbit

      just as fucked as the last time you asked

      • marxalot

        I’ve gotta quit asking…

    • DirtyHippyLiberal

      The wife added some alcohol to the coffee and I am doing damn fine now! Thanks for asking ;)

    • proudgrampa

      “Brunchtime” ???

      Elitist!

      Hope it’s Eggs Benedict and Champagne!

      • eggs ackly-wright

        And chanterelles!

      • Panika MCD

        just champagne? MIMOSAS OR BLOODY MARYS OR GTFO!

    • Raan

      Can’t complain. I mean, I could easily complain, but…eh. Going up to Pasco to borrow a ladder, and then we’re taking Dad out for a late birthday lunch.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Eh. I’m switching over to flannel sheets because it’s been pretty cold this week at night. Gives me an excuse to rotate the mattress, too. Such a thrilling life I lead.

      • marxalot

        Oh right, sheets. I flip the futon fairly often, but I keep forgetting to put new sheets on the bed…

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Those little things that mark the seasons are special. We have another month yet. It means planting winter flowers(pansies, snapdragons, stock) , tuning up the heater, putting out Christmas decorations etc. it means surviving another blast furnace summer.

    • natoslug

      I ate my banana-pecan-coconut pancakes ~45 minutes ago, so doing good. Enjoying the sugar coma for the moment.

    • Panika MCD

      CJ and JJP are waiting to hear back from their Unky Alien about what kind of adventure they get to go on today and I’m considering making a taco to go with this coffee…or just pour some bourbon in it. maybe both.

      • marxalot

        Both sounds right to me. I may be back in the ATX as early as the 10th, and will certainly be there the 11th and 12th of next month (though I’m catching a plane at about 1400 on the Sunday). Who wants to spend Armistice Day eating chili after I trade belongings with my most recently ex girlfriend?

        • Panika MCD

          chili’s alright. CJ would prefer we go to Spider House for “french fries pie” if it’s all the same to you.

          • marxalot

            Much will depend on who I can con into being my ride, since I’m hoboing my way from DFW in pursuit of a wedding where my job will be to hold onto a corgi. My ride to ATX is still not sure if we’re leaving Friday or Saturday, and they’re in the wedding party. Such organized friends have I.

          • Panika MCD

            we like Spider House as it is walking distance and we also have no car to use. but it is on several bus lines.

          • marxalot

            I wonder if my UT Faculty ID has expired yet for bus pass purposes…

          • Panika MCD

            probably.

          • marxalot

            I’m sure I can come up with the 5$. Actually, I don’t remember how much a day pass costs. It never came up.

          • Panika MCD

            day pass is $2.50.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Dept. of Space Tacos
      • Jamoche

        The Pence actor has too much personality to really nail the part.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          ironically, he plays putin too.

    • Doug Langley

      You beat me by 2 minutes!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’m off to staff the table at my resistance group’s bake sale (go, Virginia’s Democratic legislative candidates!) on this note:

    https://twitter.com/NeverTrumpTexan/status/919413754407936000

    • jesterpunk

      Is congress going to hold multiple hearings about that?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Can’t. Classified.

    • DirtyHippyLiberal

      Wait, where is this bake sale? I could use some baked goods. Also too, those cakes we like.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Also, too, Cannabis Helper (TM) brownies?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Griffith Park, in the picnic area off Riverside Drive. See you there!

  • ahughes798

    You shouldn’t have redacted the e-mail address of James D. Miller. I hate the term he used SO MUCH that he deserved to be verbally curb stomped, IMO.

    • JohnC44

      I’d say “literally” curb-stomped is a more fitting reprisal for that conduct. Sadly a tough task with an email address alone, unfortunately.

      • ahughes798

        The devil on my left shoulder agrees with you very much. The angel on my right shoulder says and knows it’s easier to hurt people with words. You don’t have to work up a sweat doing it, also too.

  • natoslug

    I had forgotten what a joy this article is: https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2015/12/donald-trump-mark-bowden-playboy-profile

    Especially the “Illustrated History of Donald Trump’s Hair” that is included at the end . . .

  • Jonny On Maui
    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Not following that link. Don’t want my tablet to get cooties.

      • Jamoche

        Private browser windows. Best browser innovation in ages.

    • TJ Barke

      Of course they’re complicit, it’s regulatory capture. WHICH REPUBLICAN POLICIES MAKE INEVITABLE!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Nope. Just a reminder, though, that this has been going on for nearly two decades. From 2001: http://www.nytimes.com/2001/07/29/magazine/the-alchemy-of-oxycontin.html

      Purdue pushed the hell out of oxycontin. In four years, sales went from $50 million to over $1 Billion, while Purdue told docs and regulators that 80mg doses were just fine, because it wasn’t like pill-poppers would ever figure out how to crush the tabs to get around the time-release coating.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    First world problems: Having a sirloin steak ready to cook but in doubt because you just cleaned the stove.

    • Crank Tango

      Stove? Surely you meant grill!

      • Marion in Savannah

        Pan searing a steak in a blazing hot cast iron pan is a wonderful way to get a perfect steak.

        • Crank Tango

          And shit up the house. I’ve got a sweet Indian pan I use on a big propane burner in the back yard for that kinda stuff.

          • Marion in Savannah

            It can spatter, but if you use a spatter shield it keeps the mess down. You WILL want to use the exhaust vent over the stove, however.

          • Crank Tango

            Yeah that’s more what I am thinking. As much as I love the smell of food cooking, I really hate getting the smells all around the house.

          • puredog

            I re-learned this lesson when I did the ultra-rare deep fry of some panko-breaded eggplant, of all benign things. Dear God, the smells coming downstairs the next morning.

        • marxalot

          Try the reverse-searing process some time. You stick a steak in a cast iron pan with half a stick of butter, put it in a 150* oven for about 20 minutes, then take it out and slap it down on a hot burner, sear both sides. Gets you a beaut rare steak, crispy on the outside, bloody on the inside, and red all the way through.

        • Jamoche

          And the trick to getting the pan hot – put it in the oven until it reaches 500F. At that point you can even do it on an electric cooktop.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeah that.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Curses, foiled again?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        hehehe

      • Crank Tango

        What you did there, I see it. I think.

        • Eileen Besse

          Yes, you did. Me, too, also.

    • mancityRed6

      wait, you’re supposed to clean a stove?

    • puredog

      “Cook”? Elitist.

  • Bad Tom

    …we are tired of time travel and would like Disqus to please stop turning comment moderation into a Philip K. Dick roleplay, thank you, the end.

    –Doktor Zoom

    What? But Philip K. Dick roleplay is awesome! Especially where the Dreamer saves Reality from the Evil Psychiatrist, and the Whatever It Is from Outer Space shakes his hand and says, “You have lived well.”

    Wait. That’s Ursula K. Le Guin roleplay.

    Nevermind.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      It is beyond dispute that The Lathe of Heaven is the greatest Philip K. Dick novel that Philip K. Dick never wrote. Discus.

      • Chyron HR
        • Msgr_MΩment

          Also, Benjamin Franklin was the greatest President of the United States who was never President of the United States.

      • David Chaillou

        Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they said. How can anyone rate the Lathe of Heaven above The Dispossessed ? Best Brunner novel ever.

      • puredog

        You misspelled Disquss.

      • Bad Tom

        Other great Philip K. Dick novels that Philip K. Dick did not write:
        Moby DIck. How fucking ironic is that?!?
        ——-
        It isn’t porn. I was so disappointed.
        But it is full of really deep symbolism. Including an entire chapter on just how horrible whiteness is (“The Whiteness of the Whale”). See, that’s apropos shit.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          It ain’t porn, but it’s about Dick. See Moby Dick. See Dick run. Run, Dick, run. I do not like green eggs and squid; I would not eat it, Sid the Squid.

          • Bad Tom

            No sex, but plenty of violence. And Ahab is quite a dick himself.

  • Marion in Savannah

    In case anyone doesn’t know that Opus and the gang are back, this is from today:

    https://www.facebook.com/berkeleybreathed/photos/a.114529165244512.10815.108793262484769/1729267783770634/?type=3&theater

    • puredog

      Guess Berke just couldn’t stand staying quiet for another day. Can’t say as I blame him.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    How does alleged “Jungle DNA” lead one to be “predisposed to crime”? There isn’t what we would call “crime” in the jungle. This is illogical, irrational nonsense. There was more “crime” in medieval Paris and 19th century London than there ever was in any African jungle.

    • OrG

      You’re trying to make sense of this shit.
      Don’t.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It is essential to differentiate between the Shit and the Shinola, according to my Grandpa, and I agree with him.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          One goes on top of the shoe, the other is found on the bottom.

        • puredog

          If you’re spiffing up for an evening out or a job interview, I’d have to say I also agree with him.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My Grandpa put it differently…”He’s so stupid he don’t know shit from Shinola!” I had to ask for an explanation when I was 4 years old, because they stopped making Shinola around the time I was born. Every time Grandpa said it (and he said it a lot), Grandma would say “Not in front of the grandchildren!!!” which of course made us perk up our ears and ask our father for an explanation later.

    • marxalot

      In the absence of law, there can be no criminality.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I get your point, but I’m not sure how it applies to my comment. Victorian England had plenty of laws, mostly written to punish the lower classes and keep them “in their place” and to protect the property of rich people. The “Bloody Code” is a term used to refer to the system of crimes and punishments in England in the 18th and 19th centuries, and the term refers to the increased number of people given the death penalty for crimes considered minor by today’s society.

        • marxalot

          You’re right, I was being deliberately obtuse. But as you point out, what is “criminal” behavior depends entirely on who creates the laws, and for what purpose. In a massively unequal society, expect to see more laws, all of them written by the powerful to criminalize being powerless.
          In the absence of civil, codified law, there is no such thing as a criminal; instead you have a gamut of individuals, from the unfortunate to the monster.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Very true. However, if you live in “the jungle” the laws are very simple – eat or be eaten.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And also too, I bet very few people ever actually lived in an African jungle. It’s all just code for N…

    • puredog

      Tsk, there you go with that “logick” stuff again. Good thing you’re among friends here, you be careful spouting that stuff on the streets of Murica.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I love a challenge. Many quite intelligent and educated people do not know how to think logically, and I like to find out who those people are so I can avoid them.

  • Jonny On Maui
    • Marion in Savannah

      Damn. Does this mean I’ll have to put on pants?

      • Jonny On Maui

        Never!

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Again? It’d better get the job done this time.

      • Grumpy Twat

        Do we know what time this is happening? If I get up at 5.30 and the world ends when I am half way to fucking work I am going to be very annoyed.

    • And I had almost managed to forget that the express did a sunday rag…almost….

    • gallbladder

      Is there still time for me to commit the seven mortal sins?

      • Eileen Besse

        Let me know, okay?

    • mancityRed6

      it’s not the charlatans and hucksters that do the grift that gets my ire up anymore, it’s the people who have the entirety of human knowledge (and cat videos) literally at their fingertips and yet, they still fall for the same old bullshit.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I almost laugh anymore. You have to be so utterly ignorant to believe in any of that Nibiru stuffs. I read on it extensively because I was always into “Planet X” as far as is there another planet in our Solar System, but Nibiru is beyond impossible.

      And explaining the basic physics cuts no ice with believers, whom are using 21st century knowledge of Quantum Mechanics to spread 1st Century ignorance and fear.

      • Jonny On Maui

        I read an article the other day that postulated a super-earth planet out somewhere in the Kepler belt cuz of oddities in the orbits of the outer planets, gravity being a law and all. I have much more faith in that.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Me too, that’s the kind of thing I’m interested in. When I first heard of “Nibiru” I thought they meant an actual Tenth Planet, it didn’t take a lot of research to discover *nooo*. Honestly, the Nibiru/Annunaki stuffs would make a great SF TV show, and I rather wish they had instead of the fear-mongering.

    • Three Finger Salute
  • Angela Ruzzo

    When I was in college I had a friend from The Gambia named Gereh. He was about 6’4″ tall, very slim, and had very dark skin. His father was Someone Important in The Gambia’s government, but I don’t remember what. Five years later Gereh visited my state capitol, where I was working, on some kind of agricultural import/export business for his government, and we met for lunch. He came into my office to pick me up, wearing an expensive Italian 3-piece suit and handmade English shoes, and we embraced with affection, as we hadn’t seen each other in years. After that I was regularly referred to as “The Nigger Lover” by half the people in my office, most of whom were ignorant trailer trash. I quit that job soon after, with no regrets.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I’m sorry. So many trash-ass people in our nation.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes, and this is not a new thing, but the Internet and Social Media have made it more visible. I asked my 91-yr-old uncle about this – I said “Were there a lot of trashy people talking violent, racist, sexist bullshit when you were a boy?” He said “Yes, but they did it in the pool hall on Saturday night, or when they went hunting and fishing, and their only audience was their pool hall buddies and their relatives. Today they get a Facebook page and can talk trash globally.”

        • marxalot

          The other thing about only doing it with your buddies at the pool hall– there was often that little kernel of shame underneath, of knowing that you shouldn’t let the wife hear you talk like that, or the new parson, that is entirely absent when you can talk shit on the internet in front of God and everybody, and get rewarded for it.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Indeed. My Dad was a racist ex-cop, he moved us to an all-white farm-and-ranch community and they all *still* did their little feeling-out codes to see if it was “OK” to spout that shit.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Very true. But I think the amount of shame felt at the pool hall was in inverse proportion to the amount of liquor drunk at the pool hall. And then there is that human urge to top everyone else’s machismo.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yeah, and not only globally but *incessantly*.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            And they can’t spell and won’t use spell-check. Somehow this makes it infinitesimally worse.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Another argument for the elimination of the Internet.

          • puredog

            Jerry? Jerry Mander? Is that you?

        • Edith Prickly

          It’s not just the US. My mother and her siblings went to school in a northern Ontario mining town in the 1940s, and Grandma Prickly was appalled to learn they played a schoolyard game called “N**** in the Woodshed.” When Grandma complained to the school that it was racist, all she got were blank looks. Guaranteed that no one there had ever met a black person.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            My Grandpa used a lot of expressions like that, and he had never met a black person face-to-face. In fact, black people weren’t allowed to spend the night in his rural Missouri county. There was a well-respected black musical group that passed through on the train once a year, and they had to spend the night in the local jail for their own protection. The mayor’s wife would cook them a good meal. Everyone liked these musicians, but nobody would have considered inviting them into their homes. So they were racists, but they were “received racists” – it was based on received wisdom and not on personal experience, and they never thought about it.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      That’s deplorable.

    • Michael R

      I went to Alaska after high school ( 1981 ? 1982 ? ) . I’ve never heard the
      N word used more and I never saw a black person the entire time I was there .
      It’s the sound of people who don’t like themselves
      transferring it on to some ” other ” .

      • Panika MCD

        I’ve never heard the n-word in AK where I lived from birth to 6 years and went back to for my undergrad–where there were black people. heard the f-word (no, the other one that is awful) a whole lot and “dirty raven” on occasion.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I grew up in West Greenwich Village before it became an affluent midwestern neighborhood. There are entire categories of prejudice I had to find out about from suburban relatives.

        • I grew up in West Greenwich Village before it became an affluent midwestern neighborhood.

          Back when it was fun.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            It really was. But when I got mopey about it, my uncle read me a letter about how bourgeois and awful and unartful the Village has become that turned out to be by Eugene O’Neill some time in the early twenties. So it’s my land of lost content now and I don’t stress it.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I have a client from Austria who came to me after having an unpleasant run-in with the framer in Albany: he made fun of her accent and told her to go back to where she came from. She’s been a US citizen since 1967, of course.
      Anyway, she’s appalled that so many Americans are so uncultured and provincial.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        This is partly because so many Americans do not travel outside their own region, or their own country. I know many people in Missouri who have never left Missouri, and they boast about it. I have friends in Nebraska who have never left south-eastern Nebraska. They have never eaten any “foreign” food – including spaghetti, pizza and egg rolls. They have never ever eaten food with garlic in it. There are no non-WASPs living within 75 miles of their rural community. There are no books in their house. They know a lot about cows and soybeans, far more than I do, but nothing about the greater world.

        I met a man with an interesting accent at a Renaissance Festival 2 weeks ago. I complimented his accent and asked where he was originally from. He said “Poland.” We then had a fascinating conversation about Polish History that lasted 15 minutes, and we parted friends. People like my Nebraska friends are missing out on this kind of thing.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Is there a TV in every room? There’s usually a TV in every room.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            No, only 1 TV in the living room. In rural Nebraska they can’t get cable, and they are too frugal to pay for satellite. Watching TV is seen as “wasting time” when you should be out checking the cows, weeding the 1-acre vegetable garden, canning 2,785 jars of tomatoes and green beans, quilting, discussing the weather, baking pies for the church bake-sale, repairing the barn, and then discussing the weather again.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          *shakes head sadly*

          I’ve never traveled outside the USA, but I’ve read books, watched films, sampled cuisine, and made Internet-friends with people all over the world.

          There are so many wonderful things to learn and try and do if you make any effort at all.

          • Three Finger Salute

            American television doesn’t do a very good job of covering international news. You’re more likely to get garbage stories about celebrity pregnancies on the 6:30 NBC/CBS/ABC broadcasts than anything about the Rohingya or the separatist movement in Catalonia. The only time we get any stories from Not America is when Americans die in the Middle East or a British royal is pregnant. Other than that, Not America may as well Not Exist.

            It’s prohibitively expensive to get the upper-upper-upper cable tiers that have foreign news outlets — most of which aren’t even in English anyway, while the ones that are have to be “watered down” (or, more accurately, “dumbed down”) to suit American audiences. Al-Kazeera America failed miserably because Americans thought it was some kind of Islamic propaganda outlet and refused to watch it. (Especially since it used to be the Al Gore Channel.)

            BBC America is not BBC. No such “CBC America” has ever been developed, because there’s close to zero market demand for news from and about “America’s hat”. R.A.I., Xinhua, etc., aren’t going to waste time or money putting together English-language outlets for US television, because they know Americans aren’t going to bother watching it. We just stick to Fox tittytainment and eleventy gorillion preacher channels offering prolefeed about why China is a Chinese hoax. Then switch over to “Arts and Entertainment” for “wholesome family viewing” in the form of Duck Dynasty.

          • Daniel

            In UK news that’s not being covered in the US, Harvey Weinstein has been accused of rape by the actress from Krull. The police are investigating.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Internet radio is our friend. Plenty of English Language news out there. Starting with BBC World Service.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I grew up in a college town, where I returned 8 years ago, and there were always lots of international students and professors living here (there was a Hindu student from India in my 4th grade class in 1964, and looking back, I am surprised they didn’t make him go to the “Colored” school) and lots of international cultural activities, yet many people in this town grew up oblivious to anything other than WASP culture. It’s all right here in town, and they aren’t interested. We got a mosque in 1985, and some people I know drive blocks out of their way to avoid driving past it.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It’s pathetic to live in that kind of fear and ignorance.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Townies vs Gownies. Harvard students we getting beaten up by locals in about 1750.
            Many University Townies resent that the biggest business in their country allows foreigners in.
            And watch how Townie judges try to keep Gownies from voting in local elections.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’ve heard about that, it’s been going on for centuries, I guess. My town has the opposite problem … university professors and administrators get on the City Council and the Library Board and the School Board, and while they are educated and often enlightened, it is sometimes true that “Those who can, do, those who can’t, teach.” They have a lot of “ivory tower” ideas that are not very practical. 25% of the town’s residents work at the University, and another 25% work at the 4 hospitals in town, and these people have a big influence on every aspect of town planning. Their ideas are often not very practical.

            One of these academic types actually became mayor 15 years ago, and he loved British roundabouts, so we now have 10 of them around town. Great idea, except that Americans don’t know how to use them and refuse to learn.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I bet the local Nebraska people have never even drank Poland Spring water. Even though it’s not even from Poland… and, according to a new court case, isn’t even sourced from a spring.

        • Wonky Magoo

          This is very hard to explain to people from other countries. America really isn’t just one place, we are not all on the same page. There are these VERY isolated pockets of people essentially still living forty years ago, or earlier. Growing up, I ate lunch at the counter at Woolworths, played pinball, avoided Klan rallies, knew moonshiners, and had friends with no plumbing who didn’t wear shoes. I have relatives who only recently learned about bagels. I’m not even forty.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Sounds like my childhood. We had three “dime stores” with counters (with revolving stools! My mother was always telling me not to spin on them, but it was irresistible), we played pinball and horseshoes and croquet and badminton, my Grandpa played the fiddle and was a moonshiner, and he lived in a wood frame house with no plumbing or central heat. He wouldn’t wear his false teeth – when he died, the undertaker put them in, but we told him to take them out as Grandpa didn’t look right with teeth and nobody would recognize him. My Grandma had to catch and pluck the chicken before she cooked it on a coal-burning stove. Some of my older relatives still live this way, except now they all have indoor plumbing (thanks to septic tanks).

            In contrast, my mother’s family grew up in an immigrant tenement in Brooklyn. Two different worlds…

          • puredog

            So different that it’s remarkable how it makes “an immigrant tenement in Brooklyn” sound almost like heaven.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Good point. I often think about my parent’s childhoods – their families were both so poor that they were literally only one step above “homeless and starving” … yet their environmental and domestic experiences were completely different. I first visited my mother’s Italian family in NYC when I was 7 – and I thought they were practically space aliens, as they were so different from my rural WASP relatives. For one thing, in NYC they served enough food at a family get-together to feed the US Marines, and they couldn’t stop hugging and kissing me and stuffing food in my mouth. My father’s WASP family never did that. Never. It was not unlike the two families in “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”, only not so prosperous.

            My WASP Aunt went to NYC with my mother before I was born, and she loved the Italians there so much she said she must have been kidnapped in childhood and raised in the wrong family. It opened her eyes to a whole new way of life. But then she married my Uncle, who was a redneck disabled WWII Vet whose idea of social life was playing poker at the VFW, and who was never known to spend a dime if a nickel would do, so she never got to act out her true self.

          • Mormos

            you don’t eat meat? I make lamb.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Aunt Voula was a clone of my Aunt Toni. When Aunt Toni died and was laid out, everyone gathered around her coffin and said what people always say at funerals – “Doesn’t she look just like herself? The undertakers did a wonderful job” and I thought “She doesn’t look anything like Aunt Toni because her mouth is closed and she isn’t talking.” I almost said it out loud.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        I still have trouble with the utter rudeness people can display to human beings they don’t know on the basis of something as stupid as an accent. I’d like to ask them if they think it would be a good thing to eliminate the $1.6 billion foreign travel industry and eliminate thousands of US jobs, too.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Sure they would. Americans want a travel ban against anyone Not America. It could happen, now that even several US states are requiring passports for domestic travel. Trump’s rabid base wants a wall built around the whole country. Yes, a northern one too. Those damnable leafs with their French language… we speak FREEDOM here and nothing else!!11!

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            It isn’t quite that the states are requiring passports. It’s that citizens of states that haven’t complied with the Real ID Act of 2005 have to present passports as their drivers licenses aren’t in compliance with the Act.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Still, you can see how this could morph into something else depending on who is in control of government.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            It seems to me like a version of Show Me Your Papers. I resent it.

          • Mormos

            just another way to tax the poor. Before WW1 you didn’t need a passport to travel anywhere.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Even worse than that: “real Americans” despise those of us who do have a more cultured outlook as fifth-column subversives and enemies of the state. “Globalists” not to be trusted because we can locate our own home state on a map.

        I think it has to do with not really having to travel much like we used to (suburban shopping malls and storefront complexes have “everything you need” within driving distance — and online shopping lets you stay at home), not to mention the economic structure of this country not making it exactly affordable or feasible to do so. American workers can’t afford to take a vacation because at-will employment means you may not have a job when you get back. Jobs pay shit and there are no benefit guarantees, so good luck even being able to afford a vacation at all.

        All of these factors contribute to a perfect storm of hostility to outsiders and distrust of new and “foreign” things. There’s a profound insecurity afoot too when it comes to hating on one’s fellow countrymen who are seen as disloyal to the fatherland, just for learning another language or eating “foreign” food. We’ve gotten so paranoid and insular as a country that we even hate Canadians. When Martin’s government told Bush no about Canadian involvement in the illegal Iraq war (Harper went ahead and ruined that), Americans booed “O Canada” loudly at hockey games and Blue Jays/Raptors/Grizzlies away games and even threw objects at the players.

        Vince McMahon erred bigly in feeding this animosity with an “Un-Americans” storyline involving Canadian wrestlers depicted as Cold-War style enemies who thought they were “better” than the good old USA. The jingoistic attacks on Canadian fans and even the wrestlers themselves (who were getting death threats from rabid American fans) got out of hand so badly, that venues in Canada threatened to ban WWE from holding events there, and the Canadian wrestlers threatened to quit en masse. The hatred of our northern neighbor has only gotten 1000x worse targeting Trudeau. Now Americans hate Canadians because they’re not even “Canadian” anymore.

        We’re one “terrorist” attack away from Rosetta Stone language software being designated enemy propaganda, taco trucks being raided as enemy outposts, and the National Hockey League being declared a terrorist organization. Americans are paranoid as fuck.

    • Shibusa

      I worked in an office in the 1980s where there was ONE black guy and 30 white people. Many (too many) of the white men were pleasant and jokey with the black guy, while he was in the office, and the minute he went out on a sales call, they would revert to their normal racist joking and trading of racist cartoons that they’d gotten from their racist friends (via Fax machine, back then). I always wondered if the guy knew what those assholes were really like.

      • Eileen Besse

        I am absolutely sure he did. Their smell gives it off even when they’re not doing it.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I worked in a similar situation in the mid-90’s, and yes, the black guy knew exactly what those assholes were really like. We discussed it. We compared racist and sexist horror stories on a regular basis, and we both learned a lot.

  • So awesome, this happened in a nearby town.
    “Woodinville school principal stunned by close encounter with cougar.”
    Video is here:
    http://komonews.com/news/local/video-woodinville-school-principal-stunned-by-close-encounter-with-cougar

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Yikes. It’s one thing to see a wild animal as it’s passing through, another to see it watching you.

    • mancityRed6

      that beginning when you can see it’s eyes reflect.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Happens around here, too. Leslie and Crissy saw a cougar in town when we lived in Sweet Home.

    • puredog

      Unless they KNEW that was like thick plate-glass, I am not sure what they were thinking as they slowly approached.

      • Curiosity. …it’s innate in humans and kittehs. 😄

  • Anna Elizabeth

    It’s such a grind, having to Take Shit day after Day. Take shit from the stupid trash-ass people of this country, Take Shit from those Traitors in DC, Take Shit always, every damned day.

    When do I get to Dish Shit Out?

    • marxalot

      Just think of what a stockpile you’ll have when the time comes, sis.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Damn right. A fucking lifetime of rage.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          if it makes you feel a teensy bit better, I’m enjoying mindhunter. Thanks for the rec!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            :) I’m glad. I had really been on a FBI kick after the X-Files started.

            Mindhunter, “Silence of the Lambs”, and such were my bread-and-meat for about 6 months.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            gotta take a MLP break sometimes soon.

            This stuff gets awful.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It does. I could not be an FBI Agent.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i’m still not so sure how I’m going to take it at the internship.

            I worked a little of one ugly case, but was blissfully detached. It’s just all paper for the most part.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ You can do it. Remember that your work will be a small part of the wheels of Justice. You’ll help them grind that little bit more.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            thanks luv.

            : D

          • marxalot

            The wheels of justice grind slow and exceeding fine. When you’re doing shots to wipe out the details, remember that grist is important in that process.

    • Wonky Magoo

      I want to learn how to leave shit: don’t take it, don’t dish it out, don’t interact with it. Shit-free life, that’s my dream.

      • marxalot

        Ian MacKaye seems to have that on lock, but he’s got a lot of advantages when it comes to not engaging tbh.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I try to surprise the Haters in how I react, and carry myself with dignity and strength.

        It makes me tired. It’s tiring to bury the rage all the time.

        • Daniel

          Remember always- you have hats they could only dream of.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            :) Thank you.

    • Shibusa

      I have no answers or wisdom for you, AE, but I do have Corgis pulling a sled.
      https://twitter.com/CuteEmergency/status/918331683706949632

      • Anna Elizabeth

        So cute!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      When? How about during your shift at Denny’s?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Oh thank Celestia I don’t have any shift’s at Denny’s xD

  • HazooToo

    Well, OBVIOUSLY there is not just one Black Family. There are dozens! Each one has a Queen, and she lays many eggs. They are registered Democrat on the day that they hatch, fully grown Brothers and Sisters. /s

    • Panika MCD

      I thought the brothers were kicked out after the mating cloud…?

  • Randy Rainbow’s latest masterpiece.
    https://youtu.be/LTosB6V_V24

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
  • Eileen Besse

    Pennywise as the GOP: I have tax cuts for the rich down here….
    Republicans: *run toward the sewer*

  • geoffalnutt

    Wait! I thought “reportage” referred to a revealing neckline on TV.

    • Crank Tango

      That’s décolletage, it’s French for an airplane taking off. Well not quite.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      The word for that is Fox News Reporter

    • Nah! it’s decoupage

  • Kneeling Bozilingus
    • Three Finger Salute

      Silly Boopsie. We’re not there yet. Read the other liberal Trudeau for your feminism 101 class.

    • Jamoche

      I had the same conversation with my mom when I was 10, but then it was 1975 so it was easier to pick up that impression.

    • wait! what?

      Yeah, you might as well defend gravity…

      `https://gizmodo.com/truthers-think-gravity-waves-are-a-hoax-to-convince-us-1759506141

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • UnsaltedSinner
    • TJ Barke

      That is by far my favorite episode of Black’s Books.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Something doesn’t add up here.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Are we sure this isn’t some sort of Twitter awareness thing? Raising awareness about the new 280 character tweets?

      • dshwa

        Damn, I should have scrolled down.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      …says the guy whose first reaction to Harvey Weinstein was to blame Hillary.

      • miss_grundy

        I’m surprised he also didn’t blame Bamz in the same breath.

    • Canis Greyhame
    • OutOfOrbit

      i worries me that other peeps in this weird-o thread like the same kinda teatee shows & i wonder mebbee me crayzee

    • dshwa

      I think he’s overdoing his response to Twitter changing a bit.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Is there gonna be a giant Klan rally to celebrate this?

      • Daniel

        Judging by the massive implosions that have resulted from his other themed weeks, this will end with him openly yelling abuse at a disabled child who rescued pensioners from the ruins of Maria before finding the cure for cancer in a dog rescue where she volunteers on weekends.

    • miss_grundy

      I wonder how many of the White House reporters did a spit take when they were handed that little missive? And then ROTFLTAO.

  • thewalkindude
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I even hate the way he sits.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Like he’s on the terlet.

      • tomamitai

        He seems to be sending mixed signals:

        When we talk about sexual interest, expressive man have the “crotch display” – sitting with the legs wide apart to signal virility and availability. These men usually signal that they feel dominant, strong and even a little smug – this position takes a lot of space and exposes their groin for the whole world to see.

        But, on the other hand:

        Covering the crotch can be done by holding the legs tight andor crossing the hands over it.
        Just like spreading the legs yells “Look at me! I’m here! I’m fertile and powerful” so covering the same area sends the opposite message “I’m unsure, tiny and timid, please don’t hurt me.”

        • miss_grundy

          I was thinking he sits like a child probably because I think of him as a child.

      • puredog

        “Spineless manspreading.”

      • Eileen Besse

        Someone who squats everywhere he sits in the same manner he squats on the toilet is NOT an acceptable “someone” at all.

  • WIDTAP

    Kate McKinnon keeps getting better and better:

    You never know where Kellyanne could be lurking. #SNL pic.twitter.com/PjETkon9nz— Saturday Night Live (@nbcsnl) October 15, 2017

    • Carpe Vagenda

      That was so creepy.

    • tomamitai

      I wonder how much money they spent on that bit? It had to be in the tens of thousands, I would assume, but I am an old and not familiar with modern production techniques and their costs.

    • puredog

      That is fucking spectacular.

  • puredog

    “. . .while it seemed like a good idea in the
    abstract, it was very juvenile ‘in situ,’ which, if you want to nitpick,
    is not actually the opposite of ‘abstract.’”
    Well, it’s close enough, and I get the exact point that he is verbalizing. More troublesome is that unless he is applauding the idea that laving Putin’s penis is a good idea — which for all I can tell, he very well may be — the comment really doesn’t make any sense, in situ, in the abstract, or otherwise.
    ETA: Or Serai1 may be right. It is all, as you say, difficult to tell. But achtung, notice-wise.

  • IdiotsforPalin
  • ariel_gee_398

    Is there an opposite of thoughts and prayers? Maybe fuck offs and hope for obscurity? Because whatever the opposite of thoughts and prayers, I’d like to send that to Woody Allen.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Three Finger Salute

    Papa can you hear me? Papa do you know that I was born?

    Donald Trump skips wishing daughter Tiffany a happy birthday

    “24? Fake news. No way she’s even a 10.”

    • TJ Barke

      Family values!

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      He didn’t skip it, it wasn’t on his radar. Once again, there’s no excuse for the POTUS not to have a secretary who keeps a calendar of dates that ought to be recognized, even insincerely. Even if he doesn’t give a shit, he should give the appearance that he does. Or maybe this is just the familial version of shooting someone on 5th Ave.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Sure there’s an excuse… that would mean the secretary is smarter and has a biglier brain than he does. He never hires anyone “overqualified.”

        • Jamoche

          And the secretary would have to tell him what to do. Outrage!

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            “Mr. Trump, shall I have staff send a birthday tweet for Tiffany?” hardly seems bossy.

          • Jamoche

            Also too this is his idea of “secretary” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRB1mpEFeCQ#t=1m45s

          • Eileen Besse

            Yeah, you nailed it….

          • puredog

            Things that may “hardly seem bossy” when dealing with the sane can demonstrably get one in trouble in other contexts.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            My underlying supposition was that that is part of the approved job description of the secretary (or whoever keeps his calendar), not some rogue upstart move.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Someone keeps a calendar for him.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Her brothers and sisters *also* missed it.

    • janecita

      Tiffany is probably used to it.

    • William
    • Doug Langley

      Barbra Streisand libelz!!!!

  • bubbuhh

    Putin has a juvenile penis? NO WONDER Trump haz Putin envy!

    Moar mouth filth pleaze!!!

  • puredog

    SHIT! (scrolling hastily through the Jim Millers in my delightfully retro Rolodex) I don’t THINK so! How to know?
    SIDE NOTE: I don’t have to even run the google search to congratulate sharon for exclusive ownership of a sentence using any Trump family member and the word “modest” in the same sentence.

  • William
    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      HA! Stolen.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      *** Now talking in #christian

      -Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info

      !kjv numbers 22:21

      Numbers 22:21 — And Balaam rose up in the morning,
      and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. – (KJV)

      *** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au

      *** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)

      I know I’m never going to be able to come back in this
      channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that…

      • Jamoche

        bash.org ftw!

      • Ling Ling

        “biblebot” – I should have thought of that.

      • WIDTAP

        Well, can you blame them? Would you want Balaam to saddle your ass? I think not!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Unicorn-approved!

    • puredog

      Interesting how King James warn’t havin’ no truck with that genitals/emissions thing.

    • janecita

      I might buy a coffee if they did that!

    • tomamitai

      Here’s a good one, although it will probably only fit on the Trenta cups:

      19:30 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.
      19:31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
      19:32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
      19:33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
      19:34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
      19:35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
      19:36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

      H/t to The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible. Someone ought to start placing copies of that in hotel rooms.

      • Alex Grey

        Biblically approved roofie…

      • Mormos

        incest porn is just so common these days…

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Still my number-one-favourite Bibble quote. And it suits so many different situations!

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      All Holidays Matter.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Oh, Amy, Amy, Amy. You’re a neuroscientist with a PhD. Y U SO DUM?

    Clothes make the man… a rapist? Social media users and even other Hollywood stars react to actress Mayim Bialik’s controversial sexual-harassment op-ed

    Bialik, star of “The Big Bang Theory,” wrote a piece titled “Being a Feminist in Harvey Weinstein’s World” for The New York Times. In her article, Bialik seemed to suggest that a woman’s appearance and clothing are big factors in her being an object of sexual harassment. Many felt that the actress is putting the blame on the victims.

    Damn right it is. That’s victim-blaming 101. Hasn’t she ever seen “SVU”?

    I have but one word to say about this otherwise very bright lady’s abject ignorance:

    http://i1.wp.com/masetv.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/joey_lawrence-whoa.gif?resize=360%2C270

    • TJ Barke

      She may be a scientist, but she’s into a lot of woo.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I heard she’s an anti-vaxer too. How she managed to even get through undergrad science baffles me.

        • tomamitai

          Intelligence and critical thinking don’t always go hand-in-hand, unfortunately.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Explains Ben Carson.

        • wait! what?

          Flashback to “Real Genius.” One of the fictional top 10 minds in America is portrayed by an actor whose an advocate of christian science.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I almost forgot about Val Kilmer. He had/has cancer and “treats” it with positive thinking. Yeah, that’ll work out just great, Val. Ask Steve Jobs how successful he was treating pancreatic cancer with acid trips and guru meditation.

            Didn’t Eyes Wide Shut feature Tom Cruise playing a shrink?

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Kilmer is a Christian Scientist, so he’s influenced by its teachings on disease.

          • wait! what?

            Lol, that’s right.
            I just think of nekkid Nicole when I think of that movie.

          • Three Finger Salute

            And that’s the problem with Hollywood.

      • bubbuhh

        pissuedo-scientist

    • Shibusa

      I’d recommend Sarah Polley’s NYT Op-Ed. The Men You Meet Making Movies https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/14/opinion/sunday/harvey-weinstein-sarah-polley.html

      • Three Finger Salute

        Good for her. And that tidbit about Dakota Fanning disgusts me. No wonder “An Open Secret” got met with nothing but closed doors.

    • Shanzgood

      Also, only “pretty” women suffer these things l? Is that what she’s saying here, as if she’s a bit miffed? My brain is too full of WTF to translate this properly.

      “Those of us in Hollywood who don’t represent an impossible standard of beauty have the ‘luxury’ of being overlooked and, in many cases, ignored by men in power unless we can make them money.”

      • Anna Elizabeth

        So it seems. We’re Victim-shamed under any circumstance. It’s always *our* fault.

        When I had to call 911 to a retail store, the Deputies did not mention my clothing, but some Nice Good Xtian lady watching did, as did my older sister when I called her looking for support.

      • Three Finger Salute

        She’s basically saying unattractive girls don’t have to worry about rape. Fuck you, Amy. Babies and old ladies get raped. It’s about power and domination, not sexual appeal.

        This article is so full of fail that, again, it shocks and disgusts me that it came from a PhD in neuroscience.

        Bazinga.

    • janecita

      Did you read the actual NY Times story? She is talking about her own experiences, she doesn’t blame women at all.

      https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/10/13/opinion/mayim-bialik-feminist-harvey-weinstein.html?referer=https://www.google.com/

      • Shanzgood

        I read it and still disagree. By saying that her experiences were different because she didn’t wear makeup and dressed “modestly” she was blaming them. And especially by referring to the experiences of other women as a trip to the “casting couch” really put me off.

        This is how she ends her article:

        And if — like me — you’re not a perfect 10, know that there are people out there who will find you stunning, irresistible and worthy of attention, respect and love. The best part is you don’t have to go to a hotel room or a casting couch to find them.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          I didn’t hear in those women’s stories that they were looking for someone to find them “stunning, irresistible and worthy of attention, respect and love;” I heard that they were coerced by the threat of losing their careers, livelihoods and reputations by not complying with the abuser’s demands.

          She’s a self-righteous little biddy.

        • janecita

          She is supposedly very upset about the way that some people have reacted to her opinion piece, and will be having a Facebook Q/A live tomorrow. I don’t find it offensive, I find it a little naive though.

          • Three Finger Salute

            As a scientist, you’d think she’d do her research before publishing a paper…

          • Shanzgood

            I find it offensively naive. She’s 41, not 19, and calls herself an avowed feminist. She should do some more homework on the subject.

          • miss_grundy

            I hope she didn’t read “Missoula” because if she had she would have blamed the victims.

          • Shanzgood

            I don’t imagine that’s going to go very well.

      • Three Finger Salute

        But “her experiences” and her discussion of wearing plain clothing and resisting makeup implies a blame for those who do.

        I have also experienced the upside of not being a “perfect ten.” As a proud feminist with little desire to diet, get plastic surgery or hire a personal trainer, I have almost no personal experience with men asking me to meetings in their hotel rooms. Those of us in Hollywood who don’t represent an impossible standard of beauty have the “luxury” of being overlooked and, in many cases, ignored by men in power unless we can make them money.

        I still make choices every day as a 41-year-old actress that I think of as self-protecting and wise. I have decided that my sexual self is best reserved for private situations with those I am most intimate with. I dress modestly. I don’t act flirtatiously with men as a policy.

        “Self-protecting” puts the onus on women rather than on men to tamper themselves down and check their own behavior. She’s intimating that because she eschews plastic surgery, she’s in the clear, versus those who get nips and tucks or want to get fit in the gym. How does she explain frumpy grandmothers and fat people getting raped or assaulted? Child molestation? Outside the heteronormative perspective, the Terry Crews incident that involved a black man getting groped by a (presumably) white male producer? Or Muslim girls and women in burqas, the garment which is supposed to be “self-protecting” along with the “male guardian” rule — and yet they get raped anyway? And stoned to death for “adultery”? The answer is men, pure and simple. The system that views women’s entire existence as an object to be used and thrown away — “you’re nothing unless you make them money” (or provide some other use). Not women or their makeup or clothes or lack thereof. And on a greater scale, power dynamics (as seen with the Crews incident and abuse of children)

        Shanz posted an article about consent and desire that debunks Bialik’s naivete pretty well.

        https://longreads.com/2017/10/10/the-horizon-of-desire/

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          That is a good article, thanks for the link. As a young woman in the so-called liberated sixties, I was often bewildered and sometimes hurt by the way I was treated by men because my sexuality didn’t fit their ideas of what a woman “should” be like.

      • bupkus231

        That’s what I was gonna say. I read excerpts from that piece yesterday ( at “New York” magazine’s site ) – but when I saw people here saying she was “blaming” women, I could only conclude that there was something else in there that I hadn’t read – or perhaps some other comments.

        But, you know – I can’t help thinking that this is just some people’s running away with an idea, without a real clue. Mayim Bialek does not deserve to be accused of “blaming the women”.

    • miss_grundy

      How would she explain Muslim women who are raped even though they are wearing a burqa. A woman could be dressed in sackcloth and ashes and if there is a predator out there, he will most likely rape her. Someone needs to tell Mayim it isn’t about clothes but about having power over another human being.

      • bupkus231

        She was talking about our “Hollywood culture” as she experienced it – she wasn’t talking about burqa-clad women. You need to get some perspective.

        • miss_grundy

          In Hollywood, women have always been treated as a commodity. And that has existed since forever. And my perspective is that anyone can be raped–a child, an old woman–anyone. Rape is about having power over another human being.

    • bupkus231

      I made a coupla comments which I went back and deleted after I saw the rest of the thread responding to this.

      I’m afraid that all too many Wonketeers are at least as deluded and ignorant of the facts as any Trumpanzee when it comes to some subjects.

      I love the snark, but I’ve also come to love the intelligence in which people post non-comments here. But, this is not that. This is a toxic mix of “anti-sexism” with not enough research, “anti-antiscience”, without even examining if the original was antiscience to begin with. It is an example of the type of shit I imagine happens at Breitbart comment sections and the like – someone makes an “assertion”, and people express all sortsa hate against the subject of that assertion without ever examining the facts.

      I’ve never been real good at “snark” – I tend more towards rants. This is one of those.

  • bubbuhh

    Wait, a minute. Barron smells like a MGTOW rolling round with a blow up girlfriend cuz Mom?

  • NotALiar

    Dok, I sincerely hope your family is NOT A-raped by 12 N-words. What a horrible thing to tell someone.

    • Edith Prickly

      Tells you a lot about the mind that spouted that filth…

      • NotALiar

        They’re everywhere now. Not ashamed anymore.

    • Shibusa

      I don’t know how Dok can stand to sort through that vile garbage, week after week.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Shanzgood

      *sigh*

    • Cat Cafe

      It’s all about power. Assaulting someone with the power to fight back will have consequences. Assaulting someone without the same power has zero consequences, even assures other males that you are super-powerful. It’s primitive beyond belief.

    • bupkus231

      “Regular women”???? Spencer thinks that there are “categories” of women – or that Rump would molest any but the “best”?

      Someone should give this asshole a lesson in unintended connotations….

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Research continues on my model tank project. I want to do my Leopard C1 in the early 80s, as manned by the Royal Canadian Dragoons as part of 4 Canadian Mechanized Brigade Group. 4CMBG was the Reserve for US VII Corps and Bundeswehr II Corps.

    To do it, I can drop a few parts out of the set I bought – the bustle rack and MEXAS attachment points – but I need these radio aerials: http://leopardclub.ca/workshop/LW021B/

    and so I might as well buy the Canadian-style cannon too: http://leopardclub.ca/workshop/LW019AC/

    It turns out the hose clamps the Australians & Canadians used to mount the Thermal Sleeves are quite noticeably different than the clamps from the kit which are Bundeswehr-type.

    So, I have to wait ’til November to order these extras. I want this project *right* though. I’ve waited 5 years, a few more weeks are worth it.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I understand almost 40% of all that. Sounds like … I’m gonna say, “fun”?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Fun, Aye. :) I’m enjoying the process, my “Leopard C1” book and “First Strike” by Kenneth Mackey, which is a sort-of novel and sort-of training manual about the 4CMBG.

        • Cat Cafe

          Anna, this is probably not quite related, but I thought you might be interested in this TV show, the episode about Land Rovers… it was actually really interesting and even emotional: http://www.channel4.com/programmes/for-the-love-of-cars/on-demand/57591-002

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh, I love Land Rovers. Thanks! :)

          • Cat Cafe

            I had a feeling! The show was so emotional! I think you’ll really like it!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            No doubt, thanx! :)

  • Jamoche

    Bikes? Unthinkable! Try that at the White House and you’d be thrown out of the country.

    https://twitter.com/robertgaal/status/919191415321714689

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s not a joke. They literally removed the share-bikes that had been available for the West Wing early in the admin.

      • TJ Barke

        As subtle as a Planet Captain Villain.

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        No surprise. Reagan spent tax payer money to remove the solar panels that had been installed on the Whitehouse and would have cost close to nothing to leave in place. Yeah fiscal responsibility!

      • therblig

        it wasn’t so much the bikes as the concept of sharing that bothered them.

    • bubbuhh

      most uv America can’t do that cuz bike seats would be swallowed by teh massive butt crackz.

      Sidez no motor.

    • OrG

      EVERYBODY rides a bicycle in Amsterdam.

    • therblig

      is there a single person in the entire trumpy administration who could even ride a bike? i doubt if king tinypaws would be able to master the brake levers.

      • miss_grundy

        You’re kidding, right? Those people only know how to ride chauffered-driven limos and private planes.

  • bubbuhh

    …..wordspew…..rainin frum mah head…….hittin on teh modesty panel….uv mah soul…no capz dere to hate…..oh

    • Marion in Savannah

      [snapping fingers] Sounds like beat poetry from the 50s.

      • bubbuhh

        damn. wuz practicin to be a dickwit….wait…..

  • Jamoche
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Jesus Christ on a pogo stick.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Well, who would know the underaged better than a pedo?

      • Cat Cafe

        As I keep saying, the criminal activity that Donald is trying to conceal, and is destroying a whole country to conceal, is nothing to do with any harmless pee-pee whores, but probably involves things like money laundering for Russian mafia, arms dealing, accessory to murder, and child sex trafficking. It will be like Germany 1945 when it’s all revealed (especially after the death count in PR is revealed). And people will whine “We didn’t know”….

        • Three Finger Salute

          “he was new at this and we were just following orders”

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Sadly, none of this will surprise us here at the Wonkettes. All too horribly believable.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Henceforth, I will refer to Trump’s “health plan” as Putincare.

          Because that’s what it is.

          • Cat Cafe

            Good one! We all should.

        • miss_grundy

          More like “they didn’t want to know”. Just looking at that shitgibbon’s smarmy face makes me want to puke. I cannot believe that some people who seem to be decent would vote for him just because he was the Republican nominee. WTH!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      It’s The Hastert Rule, 2.0.

      By the way, that pedo bastard is out of jail The poor, broken, mentally confused fellow is getting interviewed as an expert by Newsweek, as yr potty-mouthed Wonkette has noted.

      BTW – If “Youse” is a good Yousername, I am tempted to change my handle to “Yinz” as my Yinzername. But in the interest of continuity and tradition, I invite any future Wonketter born in the ‘Burgh to adopt it.

    • phoenix00

      Can someone now go investigate Kris Kobach?

  • Anna Rompage

    It’s sportsball day during the new dawn of amerikkka, and we’re celebrating Trimp picking the winners and losers with Bloody Marys, and this fine green chile scramble woth home made chorizo… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eaa66436ba87f07cfa0a967c2439d27ad4bf309f513195411683bd86bfa89d4d.jpg

    • Marion in Savannah

      It looks scrumptious, but it’s probably spicy enough to send my inward arrangements on a hell of a rampage.

      • puredog

        If you are referring to cooked meat products, you misspelled “rompage.”

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Home made chorizo. That’s just not fair. I’ve got a salmon and some chicken thighs on the smoker right now. It’s not homemade chorizo but it’ll do. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c6c4531ed3457611152473df5087ba3478e980b85c348dda3669503accb35906.png

    • grindstone

      If you have want chorizo left over, pair it with leftover roast chicken for some really killer bee paella.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Yum!

    • miss_grundy

      I’ll take that with a well-toasted English muffin and a cup of coffee. Thanks!

      • puredog

        OT: Don’t you hate ordering an “English muffin” at a diner and getting a smooth-sliced, buttered, fried version? Shudder.

        • miss_grundy

          Yeah. If it doesn’t have those crevices and holes how is the butter supposed to stay on it?

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      I’m interested in the chorizo recipe.

  • William
    • janecita

      I know this one, Hitler! I mean, D!!!

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Uh… Randy?

    • Ryan Denniston

      AoTK? No! It was Obummer!

    • Three Finger Salute

      E. “Bill’s wife” killed JFK, and Justin Trudeau is Fidel Castro’s son.

    • willi0000000

      how big? . . . bigly big!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Wait, wait, I know the answer to this one: Covfefe!

    • phoenix00

      Not even an IQ test, picking a TW fight with NFL players kneeling for the anthem is enough to warrant a D. answer.

      Now throw in the EO eliminating health insurance subsidies…..

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Here is the difference in the cannons, referenced below:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4281d882e1f8ee0a20b4c06defde90ce38bed4164aaf64de5e4ab9f3d0618360.jpg

    Cannon on an Australian AS1 – the same system as on the C1. See the automobile-style hose clamps?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0022b898f743e60f46a8b5e1d6fe74586f7d95925b5f0ae6ac4e5e3b141f4135.jpg

    Cannon on Bundeswehr 1A3 – see the rings? I cannot *unsee* any of this now. I wont be happy unless I do it right, plus the replacement parts have rifling detail in the bore of the cannon.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I know the feeling. Modeller’s obsessiveness was one of my things too.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        :) I knew *you* would get it, Bub.

    • bbayliss

      Those hose clamps look really cheesy.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        They do. :) Who knows why Australians and Canadians did it that way?

        • We like cheese?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD No wonder I feel such kinship!

        • Three Finger Salute

          So is that why the word “hoser” is a thing up there?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I hadn’t thought of that! xD

        • Doug Langley

          Money?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Quite possible. If it means they don’t have to stock more OEM parts, it might be a very good reason. I bet that’s it, Doug. :)

        • Bobathonic

          It’s really just a large caliber potato gun?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            105mm – quite a starchy mess! xD

        • David Chaillou

          We French know there is no limit to Anglo-Saxon perversity.

          • Marion in Savannah

            I think this is where W and his crowd would start gibbering “cheese eating surrender monkeys” and start renaming French fries and French toast.

          • David Chaillou

            We French really know how to get under the Anglo-Saxons’ skin. That too.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Happily, I’m half French and half English/Irish, so no burrowing under my skin!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD Here’s the kit of French armor I want: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8dd7534556c5f64eb0ec088274dad5132827820e62eb5b03fd493f8505f103ce.jpg

            She’s a damn off-road hot rod with a 105mm cannon, also too fielded by the French Foreign Legion.

          • David Chaillou
          • Anna Elizabeth

            Tiger make the AMX-30 as well. :) Eventually. I am really into Cold War armor, especially NATO vehicles. I have an M60A3 to build that was a gift from my late Mom, plus a Soviet T-64B.

          • David Chaillou

            I play with birds myself. War Thunder pilot. Was fascinated by WW2 weapons as a kid, but i’m too awkward for “maquettes”.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Nice! I do airplanes as well. A few warbirds, mostly jets.

            I’ve been doing models or miniatures since I was 7. I’m very tactile, have objects to touch makes them more “real” to me.

          • David Chaillou

            This is what happens when i try building something with my ten thumbs:

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cca6102dc48e3008e25c62de8f9d415d2a8ad210b65b27abb3588af70b8f9ee1.png

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Ouch! :)

          • David Chaillou

            Actually it’s pretty weird, i looked it up and it seems like the model came out in June 2017 and it’s already out of stock. 44€.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            OK. I can find them at my usual retailer about $60 USD.

          • puredog

            Under the right circumstances, I would support your driving up to the 2021 inauguration in one of those.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Still niggles at me that I didn’t buy that Alvis armoured scout car when I had the chance. $10k, certified. Woulda been GREAT fun to drive to the States in.

        • phoenix00

          Dunno about the Aussies, but I’ll posit that they were available at Canadian Tire.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            xD Fer Shure!

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Ran out of duct tape.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yiss!

  • Three Finger Salute

    I just thought of this.

    A memo to Mayim Bialik, Donna Karan and anyone else who blames women for their sexual assaults because of the “scanty” clothes they were wearing:

    That’s literally the same thing as blaming black people for their deaths at the hands of racist cops and thugs like Zimmerman because they wore a hoodie.

    #ItsNotTheClothes

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Crank Tango

      One award she won without Harvey’s help.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie
      • HogeyeGrex

        Ew. Did she get the Weinstein treatment? Maybe I don’t blame her so much for wanting to autoclave her vagina after all.

        • Crank Tango

          In the gossip world, it explains her oscar for Shakespeare in Love.

        • miss_grundy

          Harvey tried to put the moves on her but she stopped him and then she told her then-boyfriend, Brad Pitt. He decided to go and have a talk with Harvey and Weinstein never bothered her again.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Gee, jade eggs in the vajayjay seems like such a no-brianer sciencey thing, I’m shocked.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Don’t forget the stickers that weren’t made with NASA technology! They harnessed the body’s natural vibrations, I think.

        Also, she married that utter cockmonkey from Coldplay.

        That girl ain’t right in the head.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Named their kids Moses and Apple too.

          “Questions of science, science and progress” aren’t exactly Goopeth’s forte.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Well, either Moses or Apple is better than either Dweezil or Moon Unit.

          • Daniel

            Or Zowie Bowie.

          • Bobathonic

            Founder of Lear Jet, Bill Lear, named his daughter Shanda.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Former Governor Hogg of Texas (where else?) named his daughter Ima.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ima_Hogg

          • Skeptical_thinker

            The Bussem’s named their daughter Ophelia.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Rob Morrow, actor from “Northern Exposure” and “Numbers,” named his daughter Tu. What did the doctor say to Morrow’s wife when she was due to give birth in the next 24 hours? “Tu Morrow, Tu Morrow, you’ll love her, Tu Morrow, she’s only a day away…!”

          • HogeyeGrex

            What a shame.

          • kareemachan

            Sez who? I would beg to differ.

            (Said by someone who would have named their kid Chomondelay Featherstonehaw Stjohn given the chance….)

          • Eileen Besse

            Zappa libelz!!!1!

          • JustDon’tSayConfabulation

            depends. Can Moses or Apple play guitar?

        • Phried Ω

          The most embarrassing part of that was the supposition that NASA wouldn’t call bullshit. If you are selling snake oil make a claim that can’t be checked.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Also too, water that feels emotions depending on how you talk to it.

        I’m really beginning to think there’s something in the water in Beverly Hills.

    • bbayliss

      Yay!! she won.

    • Three Finger Salute

      People (Americans especially) really need to stop trusting local fame people as “experts” on anything. Robert De Niro is a terrific actor. He’s also an anti-vaxer kook just like Jenny McCarthy, Jim Carrey, and (disturbingly) neuroscientist and rape-victim-blamer Mayim Bialik.

      Maybe some of these personalities do need to just shut up and read their scripts.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Except sexual harassment by Weinstein of course.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Well, yeah, that’s a situation where personal experience is key to taking down scum like him. But science should be reserved for scientists. Jenny McCarthy is not a scientist. She can talk about her personal struggles and heartaches raising a child afflicted by autism, but when it comes to the actual science she is so way off it’s embarrassing. Even science doesn’t know what cause it, at least not yet (it appears to be a multitude of factors causing genetic mutations that adversely impact the brain). They know what doesn’t, though: vaccinations. Not getting vaccinated for polio, however, runs the risk of getting polio. This is just basic logic 101.

          • Bobathonic

            She seems like those parents for whom their child is *such* a burden. Sigh.

            (not playing down raising someone autistic. like my son. it’s just all about her.)

          • Three Finger Salute

            Sorry to hear that Bob. But yeah, McCarthy is almost borderline Munchausen-syndrome-esque, in that while she’s not the one who made her son sick (the textbook definition of Munchausen’s), she’s using his disorder to get attention and sympathy for herself.

          • Bobathonic

            Thanks, but he’s a good young man. Just different.

      • OrG

        Fuck movie stars, I get my info from rock stars.

        • willi0000000

          lifestyle tips from Keith Richards.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Is she the one who’s responsible for the herbal anti-spiritual vampire mist? Because I have seen a single spiritual vampire since that stuff came out. It must be really fucking effective.

    • puredog

      Harvey, with his last dying gasp of relevance and influence, made this happen. Damn you, Harvey.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “confused censorious Pecksniff,”

    This is one for the ages.

  • efoveks

    Reportage? Is someone making soup?

    • Not me. Still too hot here for that

    • Crank Tango

      That’s sabotage, it’s French for something to do with old boots.

      • Carole

        Hopefully Doc Martens.

        • puredog

          Not to be confused with Dok martens, a weasel-like creature found in these environs.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Can’t find it in English. But it’s better in the original Dutch.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6HFIOWPi8c0

      • puredog