Awwwwww, things have gone south for our beloved President Twitter Paws! He goes to France, he gets wined and dined and tickle-monstered by sexxxy French president Emmanuel Macron, and they shake hands for hours at a time and eat dinner at Eiffel Tower and OH BOY:
Of course, Macron only does that for Trump because he’s got Trump’s number and knows if you lick Trump’s grundle, you can manipulate him.
Trump hasn’t gotten to go to Russia yet (as president), but we’re sure he just knows the second he gets there, Vladimir Putin’s going to greet him with a tennis ball and a Milkbone and a pee hooker and some more marching orders, and it’ll be GREAT.
And Trump thought he was really getting along with that British prime minister lady, Theresa May, because she’s kind of batshit like him, right? But nah, maybe she hate him too?
May had invited Trump to go on a nice state visit to Merry England early next year, where he’d get to share war stories with Queen Elizabeth, probably about old pussgrabbing injuries — he was even going to get to sleep at her house, which is a castle! — but alas, that may not be happening, according to the British media:
Donald Trump is expected to make a scaled-back trip to the UK early next year, which would see him missing out on meeting the Queen.
The US President had been extended the honour of a full state visit after meeting Theresa May earlier this year, however diplomats are reportedly discussing plans for a “working trip” in 2018 where Mr Trump could be asked to open a new embassy in the UK.
The official invitation – which is traditionally reserved for a president’s second term in office – prompted threats of mass protests and boycotts over Mr Trump’s controversial record.
The Britishes had gone APESHIT over giving somebody as dishonorable and gross as Trump the red carpet treatment of a state visit, promising massive protests. (Yes we are talking about the American president, yes this is all horrifying, and yes, one day we will look back on these days and laugh, unless Trump explodes the entire world, which is entirely possible.) Now, with this “pared-down” trip, where Trump will be treated like any other American traveler in a fanny pack (OK maybe a little better than that), the British folk will be pacified and cancel their … HAHA just kidding, the protests will go on!
According to the Independent, “British and American officials” say the big state visit will still go on, so we guess at this point, these “reports” about a much less luxurious “working trip” are just fake news, but HMMMM WEIRD looks like they haven’t set a date for the state visit that’s still totally going to happen, you bet, so we’ll believe it when we see it.
Dear Queen Elizabeth:
If you are reading Wonkette, and you obviously ARE, because it is where you get your jollies, wanna know an idea for a real Dick Move you can pull when Trump is in town? Invite this guy over for drunk croquet time and snuggles:
And if you want to be the REAL Queen Of The Pranksters, tell THAT guy to bring THIS guy:
Trust us, they will say yes.
Anyway, OPEN THREAD. HAVE ONE!
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