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Awwwwww, things have gone south for our beloved President Twitter Paws! He goes to France, he gets wined and dined and tickle-monstered by sexxxy French president Emmanuel Macron, and they shake hands for hours at a time and eat dinner at Eiffel Tower and OH BOY:

Embed from Getty Images

Of course, Macron only does that for Trump because he’s got Trump’s number and knows if you lick Trump’s grundle, you can manipulate him.

Trump hasn’t gotten to go to Russia yet (as president), but we’re sure he just knows the second he gets there, Vladimir Putin’s going to greet him with a tennis ball and a Milkbone and a pee hooker and some more marching orders, and it’ll be GREAT.

Not pictured: ALL THE BONERS.

And Trump thought he was really getting along with that British prime minister lady, Theresa May, because she’s kind of batshit like him, right? But nah, maybe she hate him too?

Embed from Getty Images

May had invited Trump to go on a nice state visit to Merry England early next year, where he’d get to share war stories with Queen Elizabeth, probably about old pussgrabbing injuries — he was even going to get to sleep at her house, which is a castle! — but alas, that may not be happening, according to the British media:

Donald Trump is expected to make a scaled-back trip to the UK early next year, which would see him missing out on meeting the Queen.

The US President had been extended the honour of a full state visit after meeting Theresa May earlier this year, however diplomats are reportedly discussing plans for a “working trip” in 2018 where Mr Trump could be asked to open a new embassy in the UK.

The official invitation – which is traditionally reserved for a president’s second term in office – prompted threats of mass protests and boycotts over Mr Trump’s controversial record.

The Britishes had gone APESHIT over giving somebody as dishonorable and gross as Trump the red carpet treatment of a state visit, promising massive protests. (Yes we are talking about the American president, yes this is all horrifying, and yes, one day we will look back on these days and laugh, unless Trump explodes the entire world, which is entirely possible.) Now, with this “pared-down” trip, where Trump will be treated like any other American traveler in a fanny pack (OK maybe a little better than that), the British folk will be pacified and cancel their … HAHA just kidding, the protests will go on!

According to the Independent, “British and American officials” say the big state visit will still go on, so we guess at this point, these “reports” about a much less luxurious “working trip” are just fake news, but HMMMM WEIRD looks like they haven’t set a date for the state visit that’s still totally going to happen, you bet, so we’ll believe it when we see it.

Dear Queen Elizabeth:

If you are reading Wonkette, and you obviously ARE, because it is where you get your jollies, wanna know an idea for a real Dick Move you can pull when Trump is in town? Invite this guy over for drunk croquet time and snuggles:

And if you want to be the REAL Queen Of The Pranksters, tell THAT guy to bring THIS guy:

Trust us, they will say yes.

Anyway, OPEN THREAD. HAVE ONE!

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

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  • memzilla Ω
    • Joe Beese

      I know he actually said “ma’am” during that bit, but shouldn’t it have been “Your Majesty”?

      • Ruth Serafini

        No, typically he would only address her as “Majesty” on the first greeting and then perhaps as a point of emphasis along the way. “Ma’am” would be acceptable otherwise.

        • Joe Beese

          Thanks. May come in handy some day!

          • Ruth Serafini

            Well then, as long as I am sharing strange protocol advice, I will now infect you so books and movies will also annoy you: NEVER call the queen “Highness”. That is for the Prince/Princess. Likewise, they are never “Majesty”. And neither is ever “Your Grace” (That is for dukes/duchesses). There, now you can proceed to shout at every period piece you read or see too!! (Isn’t knowledge… fun?)

          • Joe Beese

            Shakespeare in Love is now tainted by the association of Weinstein and Affleck, perhpas, but I loved it – not least for the its courage in giving Judi Dench’s Elizabeth I period-correct teeth.

            http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/03/15/article-0-0016618B00000258-538_468x497.jpg

          • Last Hussar

            Miranda Richardson or GTFO

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
        • Joe Beese

          “I don’t think you know King George VI.”

      • Daniel

        No.

    • armed_bears

      Well, it certainly has been one, so far, Your Majesty.

      • puredog

        “Make it look like a clusterfuck, 007.”

  • Joe Beese

    Invite Vicente Fox too…

    FATALITY

  • Lambsendbeds

    Can you just imagine Melanoma trying to dress to meet the Queen of England? Will she wear that skin suit that she uses when she’s modeling? Will she try to upstage the Queen by dressing all klassy like, or will she try to ape the Queen by wearing some tacky hooker dress-and-matching hat ensemble? It would be irresponsible not to speculate…

    • Daniel

      I’m thinking she’ll go as a sexy grenadier, or slutty beefeater.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      WRONG!!! Ivanka will take Melania’s place obviously!

  • Daniel

    He’s coming to a country where “trump” means “fart”.

    I hope all protesters remember this.

    I for one certainly will.

    • SirFartzAlot

      I approve this message!

  • Ricky Gay

    Orange, you glad she didn’t say bananas?

  • Joe Beese

    “A bunch of baby pandas falling on their little baby panda baby butts.”

    (Be prepared for 0:51 or you may die.)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLQiAqc1MI8

  • memzilla Ω
  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher
    • Too thin skinned.

    • Khavrinen

      Lizard people libelz!

  • Daniel

    Note: she is also the queen of Justin Trudeau and possibly also of Kenya too so Obama is also bequeenéd by her. If she commands them they must come.

    Also it would just be funny, so I bet they would anyway.

  • Canis Greyhame
    • Joe Beese

      The pure products of America…

    • Crank Tango

      Damn, to be the meat in that sandwich.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Yes, because I guarantee there would be no relish

        • armed_bears

          Zing.

    • Lambsendbeds

      The triplets of Hormel.

      • The one on the right is sporting a nice ‘stache.

      • puredog

        Something one might see off the shoulder of Orion.

    • “GO ON A DIET, BITCHEZ.”

      How’d I do?

      • SisterArtemis

        You sort of rubbed this fat girl the wrong way, that’s how you did.

        • What I love about my obese friends is they never get offended by weight comments. There’s no elephants in the middle their living rooms.

          • SisterArtemis

            It’s the assumption about diets being the answer to being fat that irritated me, as it’s a lot more complicated than that. And I wouldn’t assume your fat friends are never offended.

          • I shall retract my remark. But I can assure you my corpulent friends do not get offended about diet talk, contrary to the implication that I lack the sensitivity to discern hurt feelings. Two friends had surgery to lose weight (one a lap band, the other a sleeve), so apparently diet was a factor. But I certainly understand that’s not always the case.

          • SisterArtemis

            Hey Little Bear – it’s been 8 hours or so since you left your remark, so you may miss this. But I wouldn’t ask you to take the comment down (which is what I think you mean when you wrote “retract”) unless you really want to – I don’t generally approach conversations like that.

            But I do, from time to time, make my own remarks when things hit me as off. And it wasn’t so much that I was saying you lack sensitivity, but that often fat people won’t speak up when anti-fat stuff is said. It’s usually not worth waylaying a conversation (like I’ve done here, but restricted to a sub-thread) among friends. Still, doesn’t always mean comments don’t bite deep even if people don’t show, or say, that they’ve been offended.

            TL;DR, I know I’m kind of off on a tangent that is old and withered at this late hour (I was traveling all day, and haven’t had access to internet much). But I may not have time or internet to scroll down to earlier in the thread to see if you’d actually removed your comment and wanted to get back to you. Not a censureship kind of gal, but very much one to talk out stuff I see as either offensive, or a bit off.

          • I’m glad you responded, Sis, thank you. I think I should have made it more clear in my comments. I don’t ever actually mention weight around my heavier friends – they do, in reference to other heavy people. I’ve never thought it was any more mean-spirited than critiquing someone’s hair or clothes, since it’s never said in a catty way ever My friends who aren’t self-conscious about their weight are easier to be around than the ones who are. Feeling bad about ourselves – for any reason – makes us less easy to be around. I remember that whenever I’m feeling fat or having a bad hair day.
            Have a great night! I’m off to bed.
            Oh, and I have NO problem with removing my comment. 😊

    • Jenny

      Immigrant: So is this the wall I’ve been hearing about?

    • vivian

      Dare I ask what the tethers on their colostomy bags are for?

    • aureolaborealis

      I see someone got a shot of my wingnut sister and aunts at our last family reunion.

  • Great, now you’ve got the Queen all hot and bothered about having a three-way with Obama and Trudeau!

  • Canis Greyhame
    • Love the “Team Let’s Get Wasted” T-shirt in the background.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Is that Charles Nelson Riley’s son?

  • Blanche de Shambles

    We’re getting to the point where “Eminem Hardliners Nail Kid Rock’s Hands to the Doors of Mar-a-Lago” does not sound like an unrealistic headline for 2020.

    • Nockular cavity

      I’m in.

    • Ill-Advised

      When do advance tickets go on sale for Wonketterers?

  • TJ Barke

    For a second there I thought that meant that the Queen was dead.

    • Joe Beese

      She seems to have a bead on immortality.

      • Ωbjectifier

        She got the spell from Keef.

      • Thiazin Red

        The women in that family must get the crazy longevity genes.

        • Joe Beese

          It’s the centuries of inbreeding.

        • Daniel

          It’s almost like practically unlimited wealth, access to the best healthcare money can buy and a job that consists in no small part of going on holiday helps one live longer.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Her mum lived past 100, IIRC.

    • Don’t believe everything Morrissey tells you.

    • Daniel

      No, but the meet will be murder.

  • Ωbjectifier

    I could stand a cupcake right about now.

    • The most beautiful chocolate cupcake!

    • Candy Matson

      I would stand, sit, or kneel for a cupcake right now.

  • Joe Beese
    • Daniel

      Protesting dishonesty and corruption in government.

      Contest the liars, only in Kenya.

    • There’s some dogged determination right there.

      • Nockular cavity

        Fighting Kenyan corruption can be ruff.

    • The dog does not look angry enough. Bad protestor, BAD!

    • spangled

      if that dog gets his SorosBucks™ before me I swear to god…

      • Joe Beese

        SorosBones, in his case.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Soros Snax

          • Joe Beese

            “Protest injustice for a Soros Snack?”
            “Ro boy!”

    • MrTusks

      Did they just make that dog king?

  • Beanz&Berryz

    PM Cupcake

  • Ezio

    Hello all. It’s me, Ezio.

    So my old account, all my comments and upvotes, got deleted forever. I had to start over with an older account I made as a backup. So yeah, that’s a thing.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Oh nos! ow will you save your poasts for posteriority?

    • SisterArtemis

      Welcome… back? Hi there, in any case.

    • Ill-Advised

      On the other hand, when we are all doxxed by hackers, you have nothing to live down, so there’s that.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I think Dolt and Harridan Mayhem are having a deplore-off in that picture. Or maybe she tried to grab his junk, couldn’t find it, and they’re both sulking because of it.

  • https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1ee7b2917250b2f57ba12a3fc62bfe88db58a5f0ab455ef482956ed144d4d3a1.gif Actual factual WWII vet QEII ain’t got time for General Bonespurs and his wee achy paws.

  • Ellie

    When Disastrous Donnie had dinner with Macron at the Eiffel Tower (Bastille Day), he thought there were crowds in the street for HIM. Now, I find that when they lowered the flag (you know the one all those brown football players are disrespecting) at the Air National Guard base, and played retreat, Donnie and Seannie kept right on sitting and talking, and the Abominable Showman opined that the music was for Hannity’s great ratings. That makes the fact about the Queen even better.

  • Ezio
    • Raan

      I wonder if SNL is going to bring back the Superfans over this.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    So will there be a substitute Queen for him to meet.

    Did you know the Queen was made out of paper mache? A lot of people don’t know that. Paper mache.

  • Scooby

    Well, I did it. I have had enough. I listed my condo for sale and I am moving to Italy.

    • SisterArtemis

      You’re putting in triple bunk beds for when the wonketariat flees the crumbling remains of our society, right?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        La Futoni

      • Scooby

        Only for those that can make a nice risotto.

        • SisterArtemis

          *dials up John Podesta for advice*

          • ariel_gee_398

            Hey, you don’t have to go to all that trouble. Thanks, Wikileaks!

      • puredog

        “You’re going to need a bigger barracks.”

    • Thiazin Red

      In terms of general grossness and corruption Italian politics sounds worse.

      • Daniel

        No nukes though.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Sure, but the fresh artichokes in season really are reason enough to move there.

          • Crank Tango

            Castroville libel!

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Artichokes are one reason I’m building a 10×12 greenhouse up in my damp and not especially warm corner of CONUS. Tomatoes, too.

      • Scooby

        I thought of that I’m going to rent for a year before committing.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      But it leaves less rubble around the rest of the world…

    • Ill-Advised

      Congratulations! What’s in Italy, besides Italians, art, great cities, history, Tuscany, the Vatican States, and a civilization more than two millennia older than ours?

      • Scooby

        Thanks, not to mention the food!

  • Thiazin Red

    So tomorrow the lab is getting the last of the Sandy repairs, and the floor will finally have its power system integrated into the main one. Apparently, before whenever a section was renovated the crew would just wire it up however, so the building had a bunch of different systems.

  • Joe Beese

    Trump would have served too – bigly! – if it hadn’t been for that darned foot.

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2012/05/24/article-2149307-134385B0000005DC-31_634x529.jpg

    • Nounverb911

      Which foot?

      • Raan

        The one lodged firmly in his mouth.

        • vivian

          Ah, so both of them then.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      No Royal Bone Spurs(*) here.

      (*) New band name?

    • CripesAmighty

      And that weren’t no photo op. Her Majesty could tear her truck’s engine down to its components and rebuild.

    • puredog

      Whichever one it was.

  • Gayer Than Thou
    • YoBunnyBunny

      “The poor relations from America…”

    • Joe Beese

      I can’t find a picture, but the best moment in Sorcerer’s Stone is during the arrival of the first-years when Neville finds his frog and there’s a from-below shot of McGonagall looking down at him past that magnificently hooked nose of hers with an indescribable mixture of surprise, offendedness, embarrassment, and revulsion.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That makes me hungry for a cucumber sandwich.

      • Joe Beese

        “Go get my crumpets, bitch.”

      • aureolaborealis

        If you know what I mean …

    • Nockular cavity

      “Really? Is that ‘Mr. Yoooge,’ Donald?”

    • Nounverb911

      “What’s a weekend?”

    • Holly

      The Maggster! Damn I miss her and all her judgmentaling.

  • BJW

    Barack and Justin. Great guys. And then there’s Don—URGHHHH! (Heaves up everything in stomach and also the stomach lining.) <—–Queen Liz and me, thinking about two decent presidents and one Don—URGHH.

  • whitroth

    Fun stuff: remember the End Of The War On Coal? Yeah’, ’bout that: I read that Trumpland is where new installations of solar are heaviest.

    • Candy Matson

      I read that as End of the World by Coal.

      • SDGeoff3

        Same here.

        • Wee Mousie

          It a natural pheromone for people living in a world where The Great and Impossible Orange just might have — clutched in his tiny blood-soaked hands — the REAL nuclear codes.

          • SDGeoff3

            Oh dear.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      If you like irony, go to the coal museum and ask how they save money on electricity.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Trump can eat a bagful of salted spotted dick.
    With faggots.

    • SDGeoff3

      Mmmm…faggots.

      • Msgr_MΩment
        • SDGeoff3

          It has a perverse attractiveness, similar to Underwood Deviled Ham.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Spiced Ham = Spam
            Deviled Ham = Dham?

          • Raan

            Specially Prepared Anonymous Meats.

          • vivian

            Satanized Pig meat from beneath the floor? Nam nam!

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I used to love that stuff when I was little.

          • SDGeoff3

            I still get it every once in a blue moon.

          • puredog

            A friend briefly had a job there responding to customer complaints (this was before word processing), and claims they had a whole cabinet of form letters that were all variations on the theme, “We are sorry you found a [dead mouse/finger/etc.] in your can of Underwood’s.”

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Yum!

        • harryr

          They are actually delicious.

    • Ωbjectifier

      With some Manhattan-style canned fish assholes.

    • Raan

      All I can think of is a joke from the second episode of the Clerks cartoon.

      “Pack of fags?”
      “You’re a fag.”
      “It’s a cigarette, mate.”
      “Don’t call me your mate, fag!”

  • Wee Mousie

    “Queen Elizabeth Will See Donald Trump IN HELL”

    Damn! Those Royals visit everywhere!

    • CripesAmighty

      I rather doubt Her Majesty will be occupying any space within any proximity of the Vulgar Yam anytime in this universe ever.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      They just can’t quite let go of the fact that at one time the sun never set on the British Empire.

      • Last Hussar

        Technically still doesnt

        • Daniel

          We have enough old fifty p’s to keep the meter running.

  • ManchuCandidate

    https://i1.wp.com/corgiguide.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/corgi-shedding-e1405769530776.jpg?resize=500%2C500

    I suspect Trump’s hair is actually made from Corgi hair and failure which is why Queen is upset.

    • Raan

      He’s basically a dumber Cruella de Vil.

    • Thiazin Red

      If this had existed when my old Rottweiler was alive she could have been an internet star.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      WTF! The owner’s publicly shaming their puppers for something caused by the fact that the owner can’t be arsed to invest in a furminator? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6bd0ed5fbfa6b2b4298275d576813b44f19f520ea2d9166b41afd91edd619a84.jpg

      • Last Hussar

        Pupper is Norwegian slang for tit/boob/lady’s fun bag/breast

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Depending on the context, I believe it is here as well.

    • Joe Beese

      There are a number of ways to grab the attention of royalty in the presence of eight hundred silent agents of the Prudential, but probably the surest is to shout. That’s what she did. Specifically, she shouted, “Hey, Queen, Nice Dogs You Have There!”

      Michael Lewis, Liar’s Poker

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Jenny

    Second term or second year into his term, cuz if we’re all lucky there won’t be a second term.

    • Khavrinen

      If we’re really lucky, there won’t be a second year.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    This article I should timely, because I read on the Internet mere moments ago that the Brits only hate Dumbass because they’ve been brainwashed by the liberal monsters at the BBC. The more you know *rainbow wipe graphic*

  • Shanzgood

    Speaking of which:

    Virus on world’s most popular porn site may have infected millions

    http://www.kansas.com/news/nation-world/national/article178295046.html#fmp#storylink=cpy

    • ManchuCandidate

      Well yeah if you are dumb enough to click the link… Not that I go to pornhub… Often.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Only on my work computer.

        • Shanzgood

          *snicker*

      • Pilotshark

        I see you when once, now pornhub comes to you.

      • Joe Beese

        I have genteel taste in wank fodder, so I’ve truly never been there. But I often go to file sharing sites – spiritual siblings in illicitness, I suppose – and there can’t be anywhere on the web that crawls with more malware.

        The current state-of-the-art is a pop-up sort-of-window accompanied by a slightly robotic male voice that announces “Your computer has been infected by mal-WARE! Your credit card information is being sent to hackers! Call this number to stop it!”. And it makes it as difficult as possible for you to back out. In extreme cases, you have to force-quit the browser process in Task Manager.

        I’m not complaining. Wages of sin, and all that. But it it weren’t for running Chrome in a sandbox on a Limited User account, my computer would probably be inoperable by now.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Ha! I made sure to put a really big condom over my computer before I went!

      • Joe Beese

        You can get a virus from cybersex too? Damn.

    • jesterpunk

      Still safer then religious sites.

    • Raan

      I want a list of the top searches by congressional office.

    • Daniel

      Ted Cruz’s year just keeps getting worse.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Good thing I only visit porn sites while I’m awake and not on wonkette, which is hardly ever.

      • vivian

        Good thing I don’t like shrimp.

        • Covfefe

          Shrimp? I heard pornhub had canned clams.

          • vivian

            Gaaaah! YOU MOANSTER!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Is nothing sacred?

      Will no one think of the children.

    • Last Hussar

      Lucky I introduced my girlfriend to xhamster

    • Ill-Advised

      Somehow, I’m not surprised we learned this from Kansas.

      • Shanzgood

        We might be shit with our state budget but we’re all over the cyber.

        • Ill-Advised

          Gosh, I’m glad someone is. I was afraid all the real talent is in Black Hat.

  • CripesAmighty
  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Checking in! I’ve been, uh, preoccupied of late, what with being in the middle of the NORTHERN CALIFORNIA WILDFIRES and all. Not to worry, Mrs. Grammarian and I are safe, although our neighborhood is surrounded on three sides by mandatory evacuation zones. What makes this situation difficult is that the wind keeps shifting. You just can’t tell what the wind (and therefore the fires) is going to do next. Anyway, we’ve been without electricity since Sunday night, but we are holding up OK. And the people here have been wonderful. I have such stories to tell…

    • Shanzgood

      I hope you stay safe!

    • Pilotshark

      Thanks and stay safe.

    • Marla

      Apparently, those fires are all due to a “Chinese Hoax”

    • Nounverb911

      Future guest Wonkette?
      Stay safe.

    • Be safe and good luck!

    • eastcoastlib

      Please stay safe. Prayers for you and yours.

    • shivaskeeper

      Stay safe. Have a plan to evacuate if needed and execute the plan if the time comes.

    • vivian

      The Aged Mother Viv just packed up and went to her sister’s in San Rafael rather than spend another night in the shelter despite the overwhelming kindness of strangers that she found there. The stress is a danger as well, so you may want to relocate for a few…

  • Jennifer R
    • Shanzgood

      Did anyone bother to tell the wife she lives with a psychopath?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Someone needs to be castrated.

    • SisterArtemis

      Fuck. What the hell is wrong with these people?

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        They’re violent shitheads?

    • sw19footrub
    • Kateaux

      Jesus Cluny Frog.

    • shivaskeeper

      You seem surprised, but I know you’re not. About the ‘joke’ in general and the reaction to it.

      People suck. Your community is one of the last that is ok to shit on even with no religious justification. It sucks. It’ll be another generation or two before you are publicly accepted with the exception of the religious right. They will of course keep drumming up fear and hate because it’s what they do, it’s all they know how to do anymore, and it brings them in the money.

      In the mean time, keep fighting and know some of us have your back.

    • I’d say if the wife stays with him, she is sick.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    This was Plan B when the realized Plan A – taking Trump on a walking tour of Fulham while suggesting he sing “Glory Glory Leeds United” – wouldn’t work

  • VirginiaMorningBlend

    If they do let him in the country they should only serve him cold jellied eels. Maybe a neat’s foot pie, but nothing else.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Bubble and Squeak or GTFO.

      • sw19footrub

        Spotted Dick

        • Daniel

          Really? How’s he doing?

          • sw19footrub

            Mustn’t grumble.

          • vivian

            Not even a chocolate grumble?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Running.
            Spotted Jane.
            Run, Jane, Run. Dick has a chainsaw.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          “Out, damn spot!”

          Shakespeare hated dogs, I guess.

        • Skeptical_thinker

          Where?

        • Wee Mousie

          If you always remember to do up your fly, your dick won’t be spotted.

      • Shanzgood

        That was one of the few things my Liverpudlian XMIL could make edible. That and a roast leg of lamb.

        • weighmaster

          We have decided that the only proper way to cook lamb is over fire, so when we have leg of lamb, we bone it out and grill it.

    • LucindathePook

      Steak and kidney, obvsly.

    • weighmaster

      Sweeny Todd special.

      • blaid droog

        Are you saying his royal orangeness should be a Sweeny Todd special?

        • weighmaster

          Well, to be honest, I wouldn’t eat that.

    • Raan

      Haggis. Cold, congealed haggis.

      • puredog

        There was a great non-comment t’other day that “Steve Bannon looks like a haggis, drawn from memory.”

    • Daniel

      Bread sauce.

      That’s all he gets the whole time he’s here.

      Bread. Sauce.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Heh, yeah, it’s rough being a thin skinned orange crybaby
    https://twitter.com/bookofruthless/status/918099720106659840

    • jesterpunk

      Bamz had some Orange Fucking Moron questioning if he was born in the US too.

    • Joe Beese

      I disagreed with the artistic judgment, but I had to respect the wit of the person who wrote that Em, during that freestyle, sounded like he was “hate-fucking the English language”.

      • Shanzgood

        English can take it.

        The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don’t just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

        James Nicoll

    • Raan

      Also Lincoln.

      And Garfield.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        “I hate Mondays!” -Garfield

        • Raan

          Jon finally got sick of having his lasagna stolen.

      • Thiazin Red

        And Mckinley

        • Raan

          William Henry Harrison was treated very unfairly by pneumonia.

        • Blanche de Shambles

          McKinley was shot in the exposition, not the head.

      • Last Hussar

        “But apart from that Mrs Lincoln, did you enjoy the show?’

        • puredog

          “It was dope.”

      • Stulexington

        Reagan caught a bullet also too. I mean he lived but still way worse than a rapper saying mean words.

  • Joshua Norton

    The Britishes had gone APESHIT over giving somebody as dishonorable and gross as Trump the red carpet treatment of a state visit, promising massive protests

    That’s ONE way of putting it.

    Here’s another.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/648fc0f34179ef8ac9c63af2308016f602cbbc58a695acd1a9ada0aaa1df500c.jpg

    • weighmaster

      That’s my first out-loud laugh of the day, thank you, :)

    • blaid droog

      Are you looking at me bum? Cheeky monkey.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Invite this guy over for drunk croquet time and snuggles

    I can think of someone who should go along–someone who would be more fun than you might think based on how the media presented her:

    https://s3.amazonaws.com/wp-ag/wp-content/uploads/sites/72/2015/03/Hillarydancing.gif

  • Nounverb911

    Aren’t these guys supposed to be back on their farms getting paid to not grow crops?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d8c4bca886a0fc7bd2619e9cf541ee1d26c9cff7156e339e035f3706b2284a7.jpg

    • Shanzgood

      Why bother growing anything when they can’t get anyone to harvest it?

    • Sophia

      A lot of farmers will be hurt by cancelling NAFTA. They were already hurt when he cancelled the TPT. Wonder how long ago that picture is from. Trump’s looking to help manufacturing, not your everyday farmer

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This would drive me to drink again, if I thought drinking would help:

    https://twitter.com/peterdaou/status/918493062766219264

    • HogeyeGrex
    • janecita

      Don’t get upset about the convention, there are 60 speakers and 58 of them are women, it’s a good thing.

      • ltmcdies

        two slots for men you say.

        Really.

        Pretty damn sure they could have found one more male speaker a sizable percentage of center left women didn’t hate with the heat of a thousand suns

        Maybe that Obama guy…

        • janecita

          Maybe Obama wasn’t available. A lot of us actually like Bernie.

          • weighmaster

            Why does the press being assholes to Hillary make Bernie a bad guy for defending womens’ reproductive rights? Seems like a stupid equivalency to make.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Bernie’s claiming he gives a rat’s ass about reproductive rights now?
            That’s nice.

          • weighmaster

            His voting record shows the following:

            Voted NO on prohibiting minors crossing state lines for abortion

            Voted NO on restricting interstate transport of minors to get abortions

            Voted NO on making it a crime to harm a fetus during another crime

            Voted NO on banning partial-birth abortion except to save mother’s life

            Voted NO on banning Family Planning funding in US aid abroad.

            In 1993, Sanders co-sponsored a bill protecting the reproductive rights of women:

            Provides that a State may not restrict the right of a woman to choose to terminate a pregnancy: before fetal viability; or at any time, if such termination is necessary to protect the life or health of the woman;

            Allows a State to impose requirements medically necessary to protect the life or health of such women.

            Declares that this Act shall not be construed to prevent a State from: requiring minors to involve responsible adults before terminating a pregnancy; and protecting individuals from having to participate in abortions to which they are conscientiously opposed.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            “Because Sanders has a solid record of voting for pro-choice policies himself, it was easy to ignore these comments, or to assume (as many supporters did) that they were merely “poorly worded” or “taken out of context.” But, with the endorsement of Mello, it’s become all too clear that Sanders’ dismissive comments about abortion reflect his actual politics–namely, his willingness to trade away reproductive rights, when necessary, in exchange for advancing his own specific set of economic concerns.”
            http://www.elle.com/culture/career-politics/news/a44711/for-bernie-sanders-pro-choice-politics-continues-to-be-optional/

            As a woman still in my fertile years and whose economic concerns are intimately interwoven with my reproductive rights, I find Bernie’s behavior and what he says in public to be immensely harmful to the future of my self-determination and that of my younger sister who can’t afford any more kids, and that of my 12yo niece, just to cite a few personal examples.
            I voted for Bernie in the primaries, god help me, but it wasn’t too long before the message I was getting loud and clear was “sit down and shut up, little lady”.

          • janecita

            It’s stupid, but they like to keep us fighting. It doesn’t help, that a lot of people on the left already have it out for Bernie.

          • ltmcdies

            well a significant percentage of especially POC women don’t. Couple this with the Weinstein stuff and “how can we blame Hillary for it” nonsense, the missteps of the Unity group, etc ….I think many many people have had enough.
            that sure is hell what I’m seeing online tonight. People who paid money to go this thing trying to find ways to get it back.
            Tough when the deadline for a refund has conveniently passed. If Mr. Sanders is such a draw…why was his participation speaking on the first night only announced now.

            If one wants to hold campaign rally…at least own it.

    • CO

      From the Onion 10 years ago:
      Man Finally Put In Charge Of Struggling Feminist Movement
      http://www.theonion.com/article/man-finally-put-in-charge-of-struggling-feminist-m-2338

  • jesterpunk
    • HogeyeGrex

      I like the cut of her jib.

  • Kneeling Bozilingus

    I hope that there are people holding signs welcoming Donnie wherever he travels.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5e03332ba06a595c924096c4034e51ef8b945f290db9eb9df1c0d69f687bc970.jpg

    • Parakeetist

      Go Scotland lady!

    • aureolaborealis

      “‘Cunt’ is a compliment here! It means ‘Awesome’ and ‘Yoooge’!”

      • sw19footrub

        “Pass the ketchup, you cunt.”
        It’s almost a term of endearment.

  • sw19footrub

    When he does grace these shores, I hope to give him all the attention he so richly deserves.

    • Raan

      Any chance you could take him over to Europe and “lose” him in the Ardennes?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Or maybe a roadtrip from France to Spain via the Pyrenees? Tell him there are a lot of pigs in Basque country and he’ll fit right in.
        I know, I know. Pig libelz.

    • Eileen Besse

      Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, and pics would be WONDERUL!!!!!

  • The Wanderer

    YAS QUEEN!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    A little perspective on Puerto Rico:

    https://twitter.com/Khanoisseur/status/918500527331094528

    • US military is deployed in *177 countries*

      Not that old Bernie Bro crap again. No, the US Military is not “fighting” in 177 countries. Define “deployed”.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Not fighting in them, of course, but the broader point that our military could stay in PR until it gets back on track remains.

        That is, unless Donald has his way, in which case those 177 countries might want to watch their backs…

      • Covfefe

        US Military wasn’t fighting in Niger until they were.

        • Well they’re not doing much fighting in Luxembourg and Lithuania, for example with 6 troops in each.

          • Daniel

            They’re swamping the native populations in both countries.

      • Skeptical_thinker

        Marines guarding embassies.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Um, my first husband was a pay clerk in Germany when we were married. Does that count? (Well, they did used to shoot rubber bands at each other, which might be considered combat.)

      • bupkus231

        Maybe a better question is what countries do NOT host American military? There’s only about 195 countries in the world….

  • Nounverb911
    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      Wait, Sean changed? Looks like the same ol’ hoofwanking bunglecunt to me.

      • TundraGrifter

        Using a photo on his Twitter from when Jimmy Carter was President.

    • TundraGrifter

      So much for the self-described “Constitutional Conservative.” If Mr. Trump shot somebody on 5th Avenue, InSannity would help him reload the gun.

    • Raan

      1, 2, 3, 4
      I declare a Twitter war

      • Marion in Savannah

        1,2,3,4
        Let’s all watch a Twitter war.

        (Unless, of course, you want to be part of it.)

        • Amy!

          5, 6, 7, 8:
          Twitter rant! Twitter hate!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      That oath just sounded like the grownups in Peanuts cartoons to the div.

  • Crystalclear12
  • Dartemus

    Trump is getting all George III on us, trying his hardest, so why wouldn’t QEII be down with that?

    • vivian

      Because Grandpa George is someone about whom we do not speak.

      • Daniel

        Grandpa George we speak about rarely, but he was George V. George III is not as directly related (I think he’d be a great great great uncle?).

        • vivian

          *smacks head*

          Once again, I’ve muddled my Georges.

          • Daniel

            All of them were fucking ghastly though, so it’s an easy mistake to make.

          • vivian

            Except for George Foreman. He was between III and V and invented a surprisingly effective grill.

          • Bobathonic

            George of the Jungle libels!

            cartoon George, not live action

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Doubles as a handy panini press, also too.

          • Sophia

            Why do people go to George Foreman to ask what they should do with their invention? That commercial for Iventhelp always has me scratching my head

          • Marion in Savannah

            Zackly. If you can’t think of more than one name for your sons…

          • Wee Mousie

            And he’s a real mensch about sharing his underwear.

          • Paperless Tiger

            We’ve had a few ghastly Georges over here, I must confess.

          • Wee Mousie

            When it comes to the Georges, you’re better off sticking with the Dragons.

  • eastcoastlib

    Pretty sure the Queen is all out of fucks to give. Protocol be damned. Sure it’s custom to have the POTUS for a state visit but that was before we yanks elected an evil orange doofus. They’ll be lucky if the Brits grant the moron a visa.

  • Trump will be treated like any other American traveler in a fanny pack
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/cFqTizjsfQ3N6/200w.gif

    • Wee Mousie

      Yeah, I read that, too. Is that something new? Traveling in a fanny pack.

      • Marion in Savannah

        (something, something, something likely redacted) we could then fit him into a fanny pack.

  • Ezio

    I don’t know. Queen Elizabeth II and Donald Trump are two of my least favorite people in the world. Whoever wins, I lose.

    • Daniel

      When all is said and done though she’s better than Phil.
      And probably better than most of her kids.
      Though that doesn’t take much.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Look up a bit of history about what she did during WWII. Just sayin’, as A Old.

      • Ezio

        I know, but I’m saying this mostly from an anti-royal family perspective.

        • TundraGrifter

          I don’t think it’s her fault she was born into the family. I’d say, overall, she’s done a great job with her lot in life.

      • Daniel

        Lots of people did lots more than she did in the Second World War.

    • TundraGrifter

      She is a World War II veteran.

      • Daniel

        You know who else was a Second World War veteran?

        • Ezio

          Chef Boyardee. Not even joking, he prepared food for the allied soldiers and got a gold star of excellence.

        • TundraGrifter

          Lee Marvin?

    • Marion in Savannah

      (Completely OT…) I don’t think I’ve ever told you how I enjoy seeing your nym. The first cat I ever had, when I was a baby, was named Ezio Pinza (Pinza for short) because of his basso purr. He lived to be 22, and I loved him for every day of those 22 years I was with him. I’ve never known a better animal. So your nym is very special to me!

      • Ezio

        That’s cool. The name is actually an inside joke because someone on another site I comment on says he reads my comments in the voice of Ezio Auditore from the Assassin’s Creed video games.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Listen to some of Ezio Pinza’s opera arias some time — I’m sure they’re on Youtube. What a voice!

  • Lizzietish81

    She should invite Hillary to sleep over

    • Parakeetist

      They can tell stories.

  • Nounverb911

    “Make me invisible, please, please make me invisible.”
    — Sen. Aqua Buddha

    https://twitter.com/cspanJeremy/status/918501633130147842

    • mackafritz

      Who’s the dumbass wearing a hat indoors?

      • TundraGrifter

        Like the White House doesn’t have a cloak room? Who does he think he is, Kid Rock?

        • Marion in Savannah

          I’ve got big money on some Texas oilman.

    • Bobathonic

      He looked afeared to me.

    • Why does tRump have to touch everyone?

    • Shibusa

      Just two days ago, Rand tweeted: ‘I’ve been working with @realDonaldTrump for months on this.’

      As if.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Lacks the panache of hiding in front of a curtain, which also very nearly worked, as I recall!

    • Jon Sussex

      So that’s what people who enjoy fucking with people’s health look like….

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Good God, this sense of existential dread I’m feeling, that’s normal, right?
    https://twitter.com/RBReich/status/918278819022118913
    https://twitter.com/RBReich/status/918286292898668544

    • Marion in Savannah

      OOOOHHHHH… Please, please, PLEASE, Jesus. I’ve been SUCH a really, really, really truly good girl this year.

      • puredog

        I can bearly stand to read the news anymore. My latest self-delusion that is letting me hold onto a shred of my sanity is that the sudden and epic plunge of the Harv, accompanied by a drumbeat of allegations from women suddenly emboldened to come out of the shadows, will set an example for the Republicans in the Senate. It’s a straw I grasp, but still.

        • Marion in Savannah

          We grab the straws we have, not the straws we wish we had.

  • Panika MCD

    just finished a TX House Pub Ed hearing on Harvey costs. left a note earlier on the TX inmate donation thread, but wanted to impart this one thing before going to a party:

    one of the reasons remediation and renovation costs have gone up so much for TX, FL and PR is that a major sheetrock company that provided building materials to the South and Southwest was in Mexico City. I say “was” because it was leveled in one of the earthquakes.

  • TundraGrifter

    “The official invitation – which is traditionally reserved for a president’s second term in office…” So Jimmy Carter and Bush 41 didn’t make the cut? Either one was a better president than Mr. Trump.

    • Bobathonic

      And he can fucking wait until after 2020.

      • TundraGrifter

        And 2024. And 2028. And 2032…He’s going to have a damn long wait if it takes two terms to be invited to that dance.

  • Edith Prickly

    Send the Scots Guards to greet him at the airport.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      How about a brigade of pipers. They could do an Eminem medley.
      It would be lost on the MAGA maggot, but I know I’d find it funny.
      Oh, and all those pipers should serenade him in a very small room. To hurt his eardrums. With votes.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Bill D. Burger

      From a lot of online chatter, the “calm before the storm” may be a new round of damning revelations on TrumpCo/Russia from WaPo and the NYT.
      ~fingerscrossed~

    • Joe Beese

      For some reason I can’t bring myself to watch these lately.

      If bile were sugar, it would be a like a diabetic trying to manage their levels and then sucking down a fistful of Pixy Sticks.

      • Marion in Savannah

        I’m with you there.

      • Meccalopolis

        Dis a good one tho

    • Shibusa
  • Sophia
    • Shibusa

      That smile at :57 is too cute!

  • Paperless Tiger

    Like they’ve never seen a crazy oligarch.

  • Ezio

    I hate the Yankees, but I’m glad they kicked Cleveland out of the playoffs because I don’t want Cleveland to ever win a championship as long as they keep that logo.

    • Marceline

      As a Clevelander I got angrier and angrier as I read your comment then I smiled. I’d love it if Wahoo became a bad luck charm.

  • Mavenmaven

    The Queen is one of those who would remember what fighting fascists was about.

    • OutOfOrbit

      she could snub the OPOS good by coming over to canada while he’s over there

      • kareemachan

        I like the way you think.

    • Daniel

      And how embarrassing it is to have one as your head of state, however briefly.

    • hendenburg2

      You mean King Edward/the Duke of Windsor? The one who taught her the Nazi salute at age 7?

  • Jennifer R
    • Ugh. Of course.

    • Marion in Savannah

      To make it even more perfect, 1969 Donald was busy getting a deferment for his heel spurs so he wouldn’t have to go to war, much less riot for simple rights.

      What a fucker. I lived in NYC then. I knew gay people. Fuck Trump [redacted].

    • LucindathePook

      Stonewall is a national monument, no?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Well I’ll go carry on on Federal land. Let’s see them stop me.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Do they think that will make it less gay?

    • mailman27

      For real? This is what he’s busy with?

  • Nounverb911
    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      Show of hands, everyone, who’s surprised?

      • Wee Mousie

        Show of faces, everyone who voted against.

        • mackafritz

          The usual freedumb caucus idjits.

      • bupkus231

        ((((crickets))))

      • hendenburg2

        I’m surprised Issa voted for it!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, of COURSE they voted against it. There was no rider guaranteeing a YOOOOGE tax cut for the 0.01%.

    • Raan

      Here’s a fun game: look for your congressman among the no votes!

      Amash
      Banks (IN)
      Barr
      Barton
      Bergman
      Biggs
      Bishop (MI)
      Blackburn
      Blum
      Brat
      Brooks (AL)
      Buck
      Budd
      Chabot
      Comer
      Davidson
      DesJarlais
      Duffy
      Duncan (SC)
      Duncan (TN)
      Emmer
      Foxx
      Franks (AZ)
      Gallagher
      Garrett
      Gibbs
      Gohmert
      Goodlatte
      Gosar
      Griffith
      Harris
      Hensarling
      Hice, Jody B.
      Hill
      Holding
      Hudson
      Johnson (LA)
      Jones
      Jordan
      Kelly (MS)
      Kustoff (TN)
      Lamborn
      Lewis (MN)
      Loudermilk
      Marchant
      Massie
      Meadows
      Messer
      Mooney (WV)
      Mullin
      Noem
      Norman
      Palmer
      Pearce
      Perry
      Pittenger
      Ratcliffe
      Rokita
      Rothfus
      Rouzer
      Sanford
      Schweikert
      Sensenbrenner
      Smith (MO)
      Stewart
      Walker
      Walorski
      Wenstrup
      Williams

      • mailman27

        I couldn’t help but notice my man Andy Harris (MD Dist. 1) on that list. He represents the Eastern shore of the Chesapeake which was shattered by Hurricane Sandy in 2012. He voted against Sandy relief and our rugged outdoorsy watermen turned around and voted him right back in. Luckily, the libtard majority saved his constituency’s bacon by returning the Shore to being a functioning place of business over his objection. Fathoming the way our voters think these things through is beyond me.

      • Meccalopolis

        Was expecting to see Fasso there

      • MrTusks

        Thanks for not being a giant ratfuck, Pat Meehan.

    • Marion in Savannah

      ??? (I are An Extreme Old and donut unnerstand.)

    • Joe Beese

      I don’t even have to ask if there is Mario/Luigi slash fiction because of course there is.

  • Parakeetist

    I hope they put a foot up his arse.

    I love you, London, don’t let me down!

    https://youtu.be/EfK-WX2pa8c

  • Wee Mousie

    The Brits haven’t announced any date for 45’s state visit because they ‘re waiting for him to do something presidential first.

  • Shibusa

    https://janeygodley.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/trumpcunt800x546.jpg
    I nominate this lady to do the official meet and greet.

    • Candy Matson

      I second that nomination!

      • IdiotsforPalin

        third thru tenth……

        • kareemachan

          eleventh thru nth….

          • Raan

            Nth through n^∞th.

  • jesterpunk
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Got a good insight for us that won’t surprise any Wonkers but that we’d like to be reminded of anyway, Kurt?

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/918246701646995456

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Update on the Wyndham Hotels reservation fuck-up 2 weeks ago…I held out for enough Loyalty Points to get 2 free rooms at any Wyndham Hotel (the equivalent of a 100% refund) and I got it and even exceeded it. They gave me 30,000 points (enough for 2 rooms next year) to make up for the very bad horrible awful replacement Days Inn on Linwood Blvd. in Kansas City, MO (don’t stay there!) that they sent us to after the nice Days Inn at the Kansas City, KS Speedway lost our reservations, plus 20,000 points to make up for all the hassle their incompetent Customer Service staff put us through, and I already had 10,000 points, so now I have 60,000 points just for pulling an Elizabeth Warren and Persisting. Huzzah!

    • Meccalopolis

      Right on!

  • IdiotsforPalin

    which would see him missing out on meeting the Queen…..but a crack whore from Kennsington Road will be available for $20 a pop.

    • bupkus231

      Don’t you mean £20 a pop? Prolly less….

      • LucindathePook

        L20 a pee.

        • Teto85

          2000p a pee? (If I have my New Pence proper.) 100p per L?

          • LucindathePook

            I don’t know what they charge now. It’s been awhile….

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Oh, and speaking of California (per my last comment just below):

    https://twitter.com/McFaul/status/918253665848213504

    • jowgajen

      The WH has already declared the region as a major disaster, freeing up federal funds for assistance. That is all we want or need from Cheeto.

    • Bill D. Burger

      And his ONLY tweets about Puerto Rico are to congratulate himself and criticize the American citizens who are dying there.

      • sw19footrub

        They aren’t dying fast enough for him?

    • weighmaster

      You don’t want him to go there, he’d probably toss super soakers into the audience.

    • sw19footrub

      The fact that it, like Puerto Rico, is another Democrat stronghold, is mere coincidence.

    • Augustus

      It is really sad that, irrespective of the content if his fucking a tweets, we are mainly, always, talking about fucking Twitter, Jesus Christ

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well…fer’ fuck’s sake! Is nothing sacred!
    ~snort~

    Russian-linked campaign used Pokémon Go to meddle in election
    BY REBECCA SAVRANSKY – 10/12/17 03:25 PM EDT

    http://cs4.pikabu.ru/post_img/2014/07/19/12/1405799074_835636970.gif

    http://thehill.com/policy/technology/355189-russian-linked-campaign-used-pokemon-go-to-meddle-in-election

  • BadKitty904

    The Empire Strikes Back…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    And the winner of best Trumpian knob slobbler of the day goes to…
    https://twitter.com/Cernovich/status/918154663035265024

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Vern proud to see that no Pittsburgh teams were on this list in the first place, but kudos to those that peaced-out of staying in Donald’s dumps:

    https://twitter.com/Fahrenthold/status/918427598207766528

    • dshwa

      Penguins are still going to the White House though.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        It’s because Crosby and Trump have a lot in common, chiefly being whiny bitches.

        • dshwa

          Who hate when other people don’t respect their greatness.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Trust me, that didn’t please me one bit. The only excuse being that Sidney Crosby can always peace-out back to Canada so maybe he isn’t as worried about how awful POTUS is, but it’s still not one of my team’s greatest moments FFS.

        • hendenburg2

          He called them (a team made up mostly of non-Americans) “very patriotic”

    • sw19footrub

      INVISIBLE HAND, YO!

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    Facebook still won’t say whether Russia and Donald Trump were targeting the same users
    Sheryl Sandberg dodged a key question on about Trump and Facebook on Thursday.
    BY KURT WAGNER AND TONY ROMM OCT 12, 2017, 11:24AM EDT

    Crucially, though, the Facebook exec dodged one of the most pressing questions facing her company: Whether there’s any overlap in the way Russian agents targeted users on the site with the Donald Trump campaign’s own ad operation.

    Asked a first time, Sandberg merely said that “targeting on Facebook is broad; it’s used by everyone.” After a second attempt, Sandberg replied that “targeting is something everyone uses.” Later, though, Sandberg teased more information to come. “When the ads get released, we will also be releasing the targeting for those ads.”

    https://www.recode.net/2017/10/12/16464120/sheryl-sandberg-facebook-russia-election-axios

    http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/110500/Edward-Snowden-Working-For-Russian-Version-Of-Facebook–110834.jpg

  • Nounverb911
  • dshwa

    I hope the queen sicks the dogs on him. Not the corgis, the other ones.

  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger

      The ingrates didn’t even send a Thank You note to the Moron n’ Chief after he personally took them paper towels. How rude!

      No aid for you, Puerto Rico!

      • mackafritz

        The Mayor of San Juan was mean to him.

    • POOOOOH WEAR TOE RRRRREEEEKO.

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

    Donnie and Sean are NSFW! Here’s Rude with the play by play. http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2017/10/trump-and-hannity-should-get-room-next.html

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Hi Kaili! (And why does Rand Paul’s hypocrisy fail to surprise me?)

    https://twitter.com/KailiJoy/status/918588780248027136

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/918588363220889605

    • jesterpunk

      IOKIYAR?

      • Red Bird

        Actually, IOKIYAWWWWWWWWW

    • mackafritz

      Hypocrites all the way down.

      • OrG

        And it’s a loooooooooong way down.

    • Augustus

      Of course he does. What a fucking louse

    • jesterpunk

      Dafuq does this even mean?

      “We’re creating something that is freedom. He’s not creating a new government program,” Paul told CNN’s Jake Tapper.

      • Paperless Tiger

        I don’t know, and I’m not reading that shitty book again to find out.

  • Michael R
    • Bill D. Burger

      She should be at Heathrow as the offcial rep. for the queen and welcome Trump.

      • sw19footrub

        Lizzie is slowly handing over more duties to Charlie, so it makes sense.

  • chascates

    She’s got class. To her majesty!

    • therblig

      she’s a pretty nice girl

  • Jo Mathie

    As a British person I say please come over here Trump – it will be a comedy blood-bath (not literally, we don’t like guns and violence is never the answer). Our comedians will be savage, the royalty will be politely “I don’t know him” and there will be so many signs. So many snarky signs. Might actually make a national holiday.

    • sw19footrub

      Frankly, it’s what the country needs to bring it back together, after all this Brexit/EU nonsense. ;)

      • Jo Mathie

        I love my Mum – she is a lovely person. A librarian, an educated, sweet-heart. She voted Brexit. I am emphatically against it. The UK has “fake news” too. (just less orange)

      • Jo Mathie

        I don’t disagree. I think the one thing the UK can agree on is hating Trump – I mean Bush was amusing because he was a bit like a confused Golden Retriever wandering around The White House, but Trump… Put him on “Have I Got News For You” or an interview with David Mitchell.

    • Shanzgood
    • Bobathonic

      Violence? We learned it by watching you.

      • Jo Mathie

        Well played :)

  • Some accused Dove of insensitivity in making this newest commercial.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9164cb8963100c2a9e88c5389d92c898ab7df078e0c8668e855fd5dcecb4df43.jpg
    Frankly, I don’t see it.

    • Red Bird

      nice

  • Ezio
  • Bill D. Burger

    Shame! They could have swapped war stories….oh, he doesn’t have any. Sorry! Course’ he could tell her about his battle to avoid STDs during the Vietnam War.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DFsxD9RXgAIxV9s.jpg

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Newsweek, what the hell are you doing? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!? We are not doing the “rehabilitate the Republican sex offender” bit, okay?!?

    https://twitter.com/Newsweek/status/918589649672601601

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      They could cut off his weenie and gonads and give him hormone therapy……

    • sw19footrub

      Not enough young boys in it?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Oh, yes we are. Because who better to tell us what’s wrong with Trump than an admitted sex offender?

      • h4rr4r

        Actually that makes sense. One admitted predator to another.

        • Paperless Tiger

          Yes, I think we’ve reached another nadir.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • alpacapunchbowl

      Hastert is one of the vilest of the vile.
      It is giving me a chuckle that the shadow makes it look like dubya pissed himself.

      • SpideySenser

        First thing I thought…Did the “Dub” piss himself?

    • Over-inflated, definitely.

    • Joe Beese

      I’ve seen more relaxed posture from Gumby.

    • dshwa

      What in the actual everliving fuck?

    • Wonky Magoo

      I don’t mind if they talk to him, but his correct title isn’t Former House Speaker, it’s Child Rapist.

      • sw19footrub

        That’s Convicted Child Rapist to you.

    • therblig

      not hands on enough?

    • tehbaddr

      He looks like some form of hideous Toad Deity from a Lovecraft story!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • OrG

      He looks drunk.

    • Doug Langley

      I’ve seen cheerier expressions on people with food poisoning.

    • Joe Beese

      The loathing is visceral!

    • It’s the look I get when someone walks in the room and I can’t remember their name.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Still, one of my favorite moments of the entire GOP Traveling Freak Show (aka: Primary Debates) was when Lil’ Rand said, “Donald Trump buys politicians….he buys them and he owns them.”
      The Dotard shot back immediately: “I’ve given YOU a lot of money.”

      Rand froze: ~Bambi in the headlights!~ He was toast.

      • MrTusks

        That’s…that’s a pretty sick burn, Don.

        Fuck me.

    • Meccalopolis

      Looks like he stole something

  • Bill D. Burger

    When asked to explain why she didn’t want to meet Trump, the Queen responded: “I’m in my 90s and time is precious….why waste it? ___ Oh, and…

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL4dN3SVAAAa-Ud.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      “That Reagan fellow was bad enough…”

    • bookish

      Go your maj. Why waste your beautiful mind on that Trump dullard?

  • Doug Langley

    As I mentioned yesterday, I gave my two week’s notice to the staffing agency. Today, the manager suddenly announced that that had been her mystery date for ending the contract in the first place. Oh, well.

    Tomorrow my day off. Going to a training seminar at community college. Fun discussions, they feed me, they PAY me, and I may get to see some old friends. Yay. Too tired and hungry right now to feel excitement, but I am excited.

  • BadKitty904

    Don’t the crazy people – most of whom now head federal agencies – have some sort of Thing where they said Queen Elizabeth was descended from the Guelph Dynasty and, therefore, was a coke-dealing space lizard?* Obviously, they were being crazy. It’s perfectly possible for many lovely people to be descended from the Guelphs without being coke-dealing space lizards.

    It’s the Saxe-Coburg-Gothas you’ve got to watch out for…

    *Surely I couldn’t have made that up. Could I?

    • Blanche de Shambles

      It’s those Ghibellines you’ve got to watch out for. Perverse. Untrustworthy.

      *whispers*

      Small hands.

      • BadKitty904

        And don’t even get me started on the Merovingians…

        • Angela Ruzzo

          The Basques are a little bit suspicious, too. I mean, they have a weird language that is the only pre-Indo-European language in Europe, and it is apparently not related to any other known language, and they resist assimilation. Highly suspicious, if you ask me.

          • Meccalopolis

            The Finns too also

    • Jamoche

      There’s a t-shirt snarking it:
      https://amorphia-apparel.com/teach/reptoid-a-david-icke-lizard-people-royal-family-conspiracy-shirt/#!/
      “David Icke introduced the reptoid hypothesis in The Biggest Secret, which identified the Brotherhood as descendants of reptilians from the constellation Draco, who walk on two legs and appear human”

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Why are bad aliens always reptilian? This is stupid, it’s an idea that has been around for like 100 years, and it’s boring. Everyone knows bad aliens look like Pizza the Hut.

        • starfanglednut

          Pineapple pizza?

      • BadKitty904

        Pretty funny.

  • Joe Beese

    Pavarotti would have been 82 today.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTFUM4Uh_6Y

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I was thinking of going to the Women’s Convention since I’m only an hour and a half away but I’m kind of disgusted by this Bernie thing.

    I’ll probably see if a friend will go with me to some of the sessions and to hear some of the speakers on the weekend, but UGH why did it have to be the opening speech?

    • dshwa

      How is Auntie Maxine not the headline act? They’re using “Reclaiming our time” their slogan, for goodness sake.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I don’t even know.

        • dshwa

          My guess is they’re trying to suck up to the Bernie Bros to get their support. Maybe the idea was an olive branch. But having a man as the big speaker at a women’s convention sends a message to the more mysogenistic of that bunch that women still need a man in order to get power or legitimacy, that they don’t inherently have their own.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Invite him as a speaker, fine. But not the opening speech.

          • dshwa

            Exactly. A man for the opening speaker at a women’s convention is an inherent approval of the patriarchal system the event is supposed to be working on ending.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You can say that again. Say it louder. Rent a megaphone.

          • dshwa

            I’d be glad to, but since I’m a man I’d rather you ladies used the megaphone to say it while I applauded behind you. Otherwise I’m the same as Bernie coopting a woman’s place.

          • starfanglednut

            And Bernie’s happy to do it.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        How did this happen? They obviously got a huge roster of women of diverse backgrounds to speak yet they do shit like this:

        Speakers
        Sen. Bernard Sanders
        Maxine Waters

        • Catstro

          Hold up, did they note that Bernie was a Senator, but leave Congresswoman off of her name?

          • Red Bird

            It’s called the white gaze.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Indeed they did

      • Augustus

        Colored

  • What Pierre said

    At the doctor’s office today everyone in the waiting room was talking (in Spanish) about what was on the TV news (Univision). I’m not terribly fluent but from what I could understand they were saying that there are hundreds of migrant workers missing in the CA fires. I haven’t seen anything about this in the English language news (I don’t know about today because I was out all day). I don’t know why I still get surprised.

    PS: Please stay safe everyone in CA.

    • bookish

      Oh god. I hope that’s not true.

      • What Pierre said

        I saw a tweet yesterday from someone who had worked in public health in Napa, asking people for information on the migrant workers (I’m pissed now I didn’t save it) and wondering about their welfare because, to paraphrase, they were all living in crowded and unsafe conditions when (s)he worked there. And, according to others, there were problems with getting info out on Spanish language radio. So this is the second time I’ve heard something to this effect. But it’s twitter, so grain of salt. And I too hope it’s not true.

        • bookish

          Thanks for the information.

          • What Pierre said

            Your welcome. It’s mostly I needed to talk about it with people, so thank you for listening [reading]

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      Radio this morning said 280 missing people, didn’t specify migrants or otherwise. I sure hope those are mostly people who aren’t checking in because they’re avoiding ICE.

    • shivaskeeper

      The only bright spot to that is right now missing does not equal dead. It seems like a lot of people evacuated as the fires were bearing down on them. Cell phones or chargers were left behind. There were people running out if the front door while the back if their homes were on fire. Add in the cell towers either going down or being swamped by volume and folks that have been missing for days just could not get the word out that they were ok.

      Small comfort right now, but better than nothing.

      • What Pierre said

        Agreed. And I’m hopeful. It’s mostly that there seems to be nothing about this in English-language news and I was surprised to find myself surprised by this. I should know better.

        Edit: mostly is the wrong word. I meant that I was mostly pissed at myself for being surprised, not that my concern was mostly with the news coverage and not the people.

        • shivaskeeper

          I have been hearing number of missing, but no info on whether it is migrant or permanent residents. No one really has land lines anymore, so when the cell nets are fucked communication is next to impossible.

  • sw19footrub
    • Paperless Tiger

      We did, but that’s another story.

  • WiscoJoe

    #ThrowbackThursday

    In light of recent events, I suddenly remembered the time David Brooks in 2009 talked about being groped by an unnamed male Republican Senator at a beltway dinner party. I tried to track down the video and Google brought me to Wonkette, which is seemingly the only site that has a record of this. Thanks, Wonkette.

    http://wonkette.com/409794/david-brooks-remembers-that-one-night-when-an-unnamed-gop-senator-kept-grabbing-his-thigh

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    I want Justin Trudeau to hand me a cupcake more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life.

  • Nounverb911
  • Lizzietish81
    • Bill D. Burger

      I remember the fateful November 2016 day after the “Day That Dare Not Speak Its Name” my wife looked at me and said, “I think America just took an I.Q. test and failed miserably.”

  • Fartknocker

    I sincerely hope Trump is introduced to and mocked by the King of Snark, Lord Buckethead. He should Her Majesty’s Ambassador of Foreign Policy for Drump and Rexxit. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a876db4c80a650c5b3af6ab48c23828b61f121d08cd44a98b010bf070b5b2f43.jpg

    • sw19footrub

      Almost makes one want to live in Maidenhead.

      ..

      Almost.

  • La forza del resistino

    Our military has been in that non-USA Afghanistan rebuilding after 16 years
    So 6 weeks in US territory PR should do the trick ,,, it’s smaller after all.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    And the people of Britain shall line the thoroughfares of that great city armed with moldy crumpets, figgy puddings and suet. More rotten foodstuffs and spit shall be hurled than at any time prior in the long and storied history of Great Londinium. The streets shall be slick with slime.

    And The Dotard shall tell his followers that it was the yugest gathering to greet a foreign dignitary, ever. And he shall say that they rained down gifts upon him. And he may well believe that, and so shall his followers, because they don’t have the sense god gave a begonia.

    • dshwa

      Begonia libel!

      (Obligatory)

      • puredog

        Zonker plagiarism!

  • Nounverb911
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Two legs good four legs bad

  • chascates
    • jesterpunk
    • No one can hear you in your safe space.

    • mancityRed6

      this is the same guy who had a nice long talk on a boat with Milo. yes, that Milo

      • chascates

        That must have been interesting.

      • Red Bird

        The hypocrites pick and choose when to have religious convictions.

    • Vincent Ricola

      JFC. Does Russia’s evilness know no bounds?

    • shivaskeeper

      The winner welfare train just keeps on rolling along. Fuck thus guy. Fuck his views. Fuck anything to do with him.

      As for the Boy Scouts, from what I’m hearing the Girls Scouts are kind of pissed off also, too. They are on to the fact that Boy Scout membership numbers are down and they rightly see this as a ploy to boost those numbers.

      • dshwa

        I’m not sure why we have Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts and not just Scouts. That being said, this was a raging dick move by BSA (have there been any other kind by them lately?) in not consulting GSA first.

        • shivaskeeper

          The Boy Scouts didn’t want to play with girls earlier. Cooties I can only assume. That is why the Girl Scouts were formed in the first place.

          The only possible benefit I can see is allowing girls to earn Eagle rank. That still carries some benefits the rest of your life. I don’t think the Girl Scouts have an equivalent or if they do it doesn’t carry the weight later in life that Eagle Scout does.

          Again, I don’t know much about the Girl Scouts overall other than their cookies are fucking awesome and a much better deal than the Boy Scouts popcorn.

          • dshwa

            The GSA does have an equivalent, but that I can’t remember its name and you didn’t know they did is the exact proof of how it doesn’t compare equally to Eagle scout.

            I have no issue with Boy Scouts allowing girls to join. I do object to them cutting girl scouts out of the implementation and process. My guess is that GSA is much more gay friendly than they are, so they didn’t want to merge.

          • shivaskeeper

            The Boy Scouts have fucked up a lot in the recent past. But when they tried to be more inclusive to LGBT, or at least the LGB part if it plenty of troops had to find new homes or disband since they were using church space to hold meetings. Particularly the troops using Catholic and Baptist affiliated churches. They tossed the troops out because they hate the gheys.

            This is not to defend them per se, but it’s something that should be taken into consideration.

          • dshwa

            I think that’s part of the problem, certainly. But the Mormons also occupy a large minority of positions at BSA and are big financial backers as well. I’m certain that was a factor as well.

          • shivaskeeper

            It was. They were set up as a quasi religious organization from the get go. Breaking from religion is going to be something that I don’t think they will be able to do. Being an open atheist was enough to get you kicked out until not to long ago.

            Part of the Scout oath is that Scouts are reverent after all.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I was a dedicated Girl Scout for many years. I wouldn’t have joined the Boy Scouts if they had paid me to. We wanted nothing to do with them – they played stupid status games, they told nasty stories around the campfire, they ridiculed girls who tried to do anything “outdoorsy”, they tried to spy on the girls at the camp lodges we shared so they could see us naked (we were 10 years old, nothing to see), and on top of that, boys had Cooties. At my elementary school the Boy Scouts got to do “Flag Patrol” and raise and lower the flag every day, and when the Girl Scouts said “Hey, we demand equal time” we had to fight like demons just to get the chance to raise our own god-damned flag in front of our own god-damned school. You’d have thought girls were unfit to touch the flag, the way they acted about it. That was 50 years ago, I doubt anything has changed.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “I have never been one to shut up.” Yeah, no shit.

    • jesterpunk
    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      So they gonna burn swamp witches?

      • wait! what?

        Marie Laveau would easily break, then shake and bake, him.

  • WIDTAP

    Sorry Evan, but THIS is Queen Elizabeth’s favorite Obama moment:

    https://youtu.be/eU_0hyjXRaM?t=7

    • Shanzgood

      Awww!

    • Candy Matson

      LOLOLOLOL – “the queen made the first move!”

      • Spurning Beer

        “Moved on her like a bitch.”

        • Candy Matson

          Then took her furniture shopping

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    Estimates on the costs for the Las Vegas massacre are over 1 billion $. ___ but they’re getting an “Award!” Yeaaaaaaaah!

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/918201878479073280

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL4eRcdX0AAK4OC.jpg

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Conspiracy sharks smell blood…
    “Las Vegas hotel owners dispute police timeline, say there was no gap between report of gunshots and massacre.”
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/10/12/las-vegas-hotel-owners-dispute-police-timeline-say-there-was-no-gap-between-report-of-gunshots-and-massacre/?utm_term=.1eea9eec4801

  • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent
  • mancityRed6

    ok, so if you know anyone in London, or who is willing to drive/take the train to get there, make sure they go to protest. tRump will go into a snit if his protest crowds aren’t bigger than the ones W had.

    • sw19footrub

      I’m hoping for a Gulf War protest 2003 size stylee, myself.

      Except better covered in the media.

      • hendenburg2

        Feb 2003, right?

        • sw19footrub

          Can’t remember the date, but the first one!
          Ah, happy days of the impromptu after march sit-down protest on Oxford Street.
          The Police have honed their techniques now tho….

      • mancityRed6

        maybe better covered by the American media, it was big news there.
        I remember it.

        • sw19footrub

          The Govt was still pushing that ridiculous “45 minutes for missiles to strike” bollocks, they needed to massage the numbers/impact.

          • mancityRed6

            45 minutes to launch WMD, which turned out to include shoulder fired RPGs. fucking Christ.
            and then they found those trailers in the desert that made helium (I think) for weather balloons. mobile chemical/biological weapons labs! except that they were soft sided so, not a sealed environment and even I knew that was bullshit.

          • sw19footrub

            Sadly, I knew a few people who were totally suckered by that 45 minute horseshit.
            They truly, honestly believed it.
            Thanks, Bliar.

          • mancityRed6

            it’s kinda hard not to when it’s plastered all over every news station. and no one questioned how far their weapons would go.
            those trailers got a full page spread in the daily fail (don’t ask)

      • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

        I was in Munich while their protests were going. Made me want to pretend to be German.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I would be absolutely delighted to fly to London and join the protest if someone would offer to pay for the airline tickets, LOL. The last time I went, round-trip tickets cost $1400, and that was a bargain. I need to make some rich friends.

      • mancityRed6

        first time, the one way was $450; second time, the one way was closer to $700
        this was about 15 and 13 years ago, though.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          When I went in 1968, round trip was $600, which was as much as my mother’s monthly take-home pay as a nurse at the time. In 1985 it was $700, in 2000 $800 (These prices include flying from St. Louis to NYC). The $1400 was in 2015 – it had been $1600 only 2 months earlier, but I waited and waited for it to go down, and it did. I thought that was very expensive until I remembered that in 1968 it cost my mother 2 months income for us to fly to Europe together. $1400 is not two months income for a nurse these days, so really it was NOT that expensive.

  • Ezio
    • Joe Beese

      I’m home.

  • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent
  • Count Awesome

    Trump needs to be taught a thing or two about having a stiff upper lip.

    • stumpknocker

      putin gives trump a stiff upper lip.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
  • TundraGrifter

    The Nats and the Cubbies in an hour. I can’t wait. Go Dusty!

    http://johncandy.com/VideoDetail.aspx?VideoID=47&VideoSection=28

    • Nounverb911

      Is Steve Bartman throwing out the first pitch?

  • Ezio

    Oh btw, someone at my campus from the school radio station interviewed me today. They asked me trivia questions about music albums, specifically about the Beatles. Suffice it to say I probably made an ass of myself because I don’t know jack about them.

    • Joe Beese

      Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust, man.

      • sw19footrub

        You live by the river?

        • SpideySenser

          Yes, I was there, too.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Meltdown’s expected….

      • Ezio

        I have no idea what this means but I agree.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        A nuclear error.

    • sw19footrub

      There were four of them, right? Harpo, Groucho….

      • Ezio

        No, not the Marx bros. I’m not that big of a millennial. I know the members’ names. But I had no clue about the questions they were asking.

  • Nounverb911
  • Bill D. Burger

    While American citizens in California and Puerto Rico die.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL84A4pUMAEip4s.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Nounverb911

      No, YOU get up!
      You stand for ‘Retreat’.

      https://twitter.com/owillis/status/918318832565084160

      • CaptainHowdyWinchester

        but but but Hoosein said corpse

      • Lefty Wright

        I’m sure Fox News will cover this extensively and Jerry Jones will tweet his displeasure with Trump and suggest Hannity be fired.

  • I am for shocked that neither Trump, nor professional scold Sean Hannity knew to shut up and stand during retreat

    Then again, neither even seemed to know what it was. Trump thought it might be honoring Hannity’s ratings because he’s “beating everybody” (a blatant lie), and don’t fret — he certainly remembered to badmouth the black dudes for failing to honor and respect the flag and the troops. *eye roll*

  • BadKitty904

    Salad, porkchops, chickpeas-n-rice, and okra for supper, while tonight’s Monster Movie Month feature is The Devil and Daniel Webster (1941). Y’all come join us!

    • Nounverb911

      Good movie.

      • BadKitty904

        Walter Huston (John’s dad) as Mr. Scratch is just brilliant.

        Interesting, Stephen Vincent Benet’s family is from my little town Down Here in Florida. His grandfather’s grave is about a mile from where I’m sitting.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Gotta watch. That was the first opera I was in my freshman year of college. Opera? Yeah. The Devil and Daniel Webster is also a folk opera by Stephen Vincent Benet and Douglas Moore. Much fun, Of course that was before electricity..

      The Devil In Miss Jones was another version. I wasn’t in that but I did think that Georgina Spelvin was one hot older woman when I met her later.

      • BadKitty904

        Def worth seeing.

    • BeachBum

      I will go anywhere so I don’t have to cook.

      • BadKitty904

        Happily, I love to cook, which makes a difference, I s’pose.

    • CaptainHowdyWinchester

      Never seen it. Bernard Herrmann’s second score and only Oscar.

      • BadKitty904

        Well worth seeing for Walter Huston’s performance alone.

    • starfanglednut

      Wish I could!

      • BadKitty904

        Aw, there’s still plenty to go ’round!

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: Good Times for a Change

    i just recently had a pretty successful interview and i am pretty sure they will call for another interview and MAYBE finally…finally i can throw off the cloak of shitty times and dealing with even shittier and,more importantly, the stupidest laziest people ever known.

    and best part it’s not another library job…taking my skills elsewhere to be put to better use…data analytics…if im so lucky to get selected for the position.

    i think the stars are aligning but the fat lady has yet to sing and the cows are still out partying the night away…but maybe maybe my chance has finally come, my break, to break this bondage of this shitty job to something that will actually challenge me, actually give me some fulfillment in a job…maybe.

    because the maxim is ALWAYS hope for the best, expect the worse…not my 1st rodeo…we’ve been here before and still stuck….let’s hope this one is my escape clause cuz im sure the world, you all, and everyone else would prefer a happier me.

    Broken from orbit and not returning…and not looking back, come on, come on, let this be my escape engine….

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T8R_VDTOYQ

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      Soon as I get off work, I’m toasting in whatever direction I think you are. Cheers!

    • Beautiful Soup

      Fingers crossed for you!!!

    • janecita

      Lots of good mojo sent your way:-) Let us know how it goes.

    • miss_grundy

      Good luck! I hope you find your way out of Libraryland into a job that will be fulfilling and satisfy your soul and bank account.

    • starfanglednut

      Best of luck!

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      Toast complete. Cheers, Noobs!

  • Ezio
    • janecita

      Since when are we looking to those people for political guidance? I didn’t get the memo.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Must be in the mail with the Soros checks.

        • Candy Matson

          Really? Soros pays me in aborted fetus parts.

      • CaptainHowdyWinchester

        Because, you know, people who aren’t brainwashed gibberish-spouting drones lack agency.

    • Meanwhile, looking to Donald Trump to actually lead your political party has worked out well, so far?

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/atensnut/status/918514836027387904?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet
    Sorry lady but if you are going to use your status as an alleged victim to bash the Clintons (including Chelsea),the Obamas and all Democrats when stories like Weinstein come out, only fair folks get to call you out for the fact you are supporting a man that bragged about being able to grope women without their consent and supports folks like Roger Ailes and Bill’O Reilly.
    Not to mention you are in a picture with a man that fully supports Bill O’Reilly and is helping him on his comeback tour after he did the same kind of things you claim made both of the Clintons unfit for office.
    Dem the breaks.

    • sw19footrub

      DONALD TRUMP IS A SAINT?!!!! A SAINT YOU HEAR ME>!>>!!!!??!!

      • stumpknocker

        the patron saint of all assholes.

      • Candy Matson

        Lucifer was an angel, right?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I sure hope she got a good price for her soul.

      • janecita

        What soul?

      • Ninja0980

        I sadly know people who has been victims of rape etc.
        None of them have attacked others or tried to use what happened to them a shield to throw bombs and not get called out the way she has, which is why (in their option and mine too) she’s a woman scorned.
        And that is NOT something I say lightly.

        • sw19footrub

          I don’t know the truth about Clinton, but you go hanging out the backside of another abuser who ADMITTED IT…. pretty much GFY.

          • Ninja0980

            I think Clinton is a scumbag in his personal life but that doesn’t make one a rapist.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Well, it says Arkansas up there in the tweet. So she probably got a pack of cigarettes and a dildo for her soul. Great Deal!!

    • Paperless Tiger

      Accusations? The nitwit confessed.

  • jesterpunk

    This interview is kind of sad but really cool how well they get along with their fans.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2hRYEFiPSA

    • Ezio

      I was sad to learn one of their members committed suicide last July.

      • jesterpunk

        Chester, thats what Mike Shinoda is talking about. They are doing a charity show for him in California.

        • Ezio

          Ah sorry I haven’t watched yet.

          • jesterpunk

            Its all good, its a longer interview but a good one and its a little sad.

  • Bill D. Burger

    OMFG….Looky’! Cuntucky’ Kim has taken her NoHomos Act international.
    MurriKKKa’___ Spreading the Christian luv’ around:

    [Kim Davis, Once Jailed in America, Campaigns Against Gay Marriage in Romania
    By LIAM STACK and KIT GILLETOCT. 12, 2017

    The Kentucky official who was jailed in 2015 for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples has been advocating against gay marriage this week thousands of miles from home — in Romania, where a movement to outlaw such unions has gained momentum.

    Same-sex marriage is not permitted in Romania, but conservatives there have waged a battle to explicitly prohibit it, via a constitutional amendment.

    “We invite Kim Davis to share with us her fight for freedom, her strong faith and her experience in prison, which was the price she paid for standing up for her faith,” Mihai Gheorghiu, president of the Coalition for Family, which is leading the fight to outlaw same-sex marriage, said in a statement on Wednesday.]

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/12/world/europe/kim-davis-romania.html?smid=tw-share

    • dshwa

      Great, now we’re exporting our religious nuts.

      • DrBigHead

        Its a growth industry

      • ariel_gee_398

        It’s either that or fried twinkies, and they don’t travel as well.

      • Candy Matson

        We’ve been doing that for years, haven’t we? Our biggest bigot cross-huggers were welcomed in russia with open arms. Go figure.

    • janecita

      They should keep her.

    • sw19footrub

      When she gets back, she can get on championing the GOP’s “Protecting your Right To Protest at Work” Law.

      Right?

    • RobespierreHoo

      And this is the ignorant mouthbreather that costs her dirt poor Kentucky mouthbreathing county almost $250,000 in attorneys fees awarded to the attorneys who had to sue her ass to do what she was unequivocally required to do under US Supreme Court rulings. That would have paid for a lot of health care or Narcon back in Bugtussle. But, Freedom, you know.

    • Suttree

      Maybe she’s looking for husband number 4 or 5?

      • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

        I think you meant to write “and” there.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well…It’s official. JoScar’ is now ‘officially’ a man without a party.
    lmao

    [Joe Scarborough quits Republican Party at New Canaan Town Hall

    By Greg Reilly on October 12, 2017 in Lead News, News, Politics & Elections ·
    Joe Scarborough, New Canaan resident, former Florida Republican congressman and co-host of Morning Joe on MSNBC TV, changed his party affiliation from Republican to unaffiliated at New Canaan Town Hall Thursday, Oct. 12, according to New Canaan Registrar of Voters John Amarilios.]

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e1eac51b7ae0492d4b59d422698989c3677e26a896bf532f66a53cc630bd5aed.jpg

    • jesterpunk

      I thought he did that a while ago?

      • Bill D. Burger

        Only promised he would. So…he actually kept his word. Rare for a Republican; maybe there is hope.

        (⊙.⊙(☉̃ₒ☉)⊙.⊙)

    • Paperless Tiger

      White flight?

    • What Pierre said

      If only he now had to undergo severe penance for the sin of helping the tRumpf before he could reenter society.

    • Ninja0980

      I wonder if he and other Republicans will acknowledge the fact the 94 Republican Revolution made D.C. into the toxic cesspool it is today.

      • mailman27

        Not a chance.

    • mailman27

      Also too “bravery thy name is Joe Scar” for switching all the way to Independent. Fuck ’em all.

  • CO
    • Joe Beese

      Dishonest or Incompetent?

      You make the call!

      • jesterpunk

        Yes?

      • sw19footrub

        I’ll take “Incompetently Dishonest” for $500, Alex.

      • SpideySenser

        AOT, K

    • Covfefe

      The final decision maker on whether Jared gets a security clearance is the president of the United States. What difference will it make to the president what Jared does or doesn’t put on his forms. This “background check chief” is just trying to interfere in the personal affairs of Donald and Jared.

    • Canis Greyhame

      It’s almost as if they’re not even trying to be totally honest with the American People.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just remembered: It was announced one week ago that 3 Special Forces soldiers were killed in Niger (a 4th was named 5 days ago). Trump has yet to utter a word or post a tweet.

    • Ninja0980

      I think if he said it out loud he’d say another word instead.

    • jesterpunk

      He hasn’t blamed them yet? He did that when the Seal was killed.

    • Joe Beese

      He prefers soldiers who don’t get killed.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        That this is a spot on comment is sad in way I can barely fathom

    • What Pierre said

      I think he’s in the you’re-not-the-boss-of-me phase of his dotage, so he refuses to talk about anything he’s asked to talk about – his babysitters have just given up on anything but the important shit, like screwing us out of health insurance and cutting taxes for the rich.

    • dshwa

      Hmm… four Americans killed overseas in an unstable country with a low grade civil war going on. Where have I heard that before….

    • Blackest Noobs

      yeah scratching my head cuz the last time a soldier died on his watch he used it for political gain…so wtf, right?

      like this asshole is always trying to use the death of soldiers for his political gain and his silence is deafening on this issue….like serious what the fuck, dude.

    • Sophia

      Hoping no one will notice they were there.

      American forces have never been sanctioned to an official combat mission in Niger, a landlocked West African nation about twice the size of Texas with a population of just over 20 million people. But they have long been fighting against Islamic extremists in the country and surrounding region. On Oct. 4, four Green Berets were killed and two more injured after their group of a dozen U.S. soldiers were ambushed while conducting a joint patrol with about 40 Nigerien soldiers.
      The New York Times reported that when the soldiers were ambushed, no American helicopters came to their rescue. Although Congress has never authorized the mission in Niger — as is required by the Constitution — the military’s Africa command asked lawmakers for more help months before the attack, the Times also reported.

      https://www.salon.com/2017/10/11/trumps-benghazi-ambush-of-u-s-soldiers-in-niger-goes-unnoticed/

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        It’s easy to sneak in unauthoriized troops – much harder to sneak in helicopters to support them.
        The fact that the bad guys knew where the troops were going to be, and had time to set up an ambush, is the real story – and we’re not going to hear about it unless some reporters dig and dig deep.

    • miss_grundy

      He only likes Special Forces soldiers who do not get killed.

    • BeachBum

      He would have to understand what they were doing in Niger, and Kelly a-splained it to him during milk and cookies before nappy time and now he forgotz.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He might have to face questions about how word of the mission leaked to the other side. That would make him look bad – and Il Douche, hilariously, is worried about looking bad.

    • mailman27

      When Trump got the briefing he jumped a foot out his seat when he saw the name of the country. “They’ve been tellin’ me for months that I can’t say that word, no matter how natural it feels!”

  • sw19footrub
  • Bill D. Burger

    Well, get ready to clutch your pearls and head for the fainting couch. After initially saying it was open to banning bump stocks for weapons, the NRA ____ slammed that door shut and said, “Naaaaah…we wuz’ just funnin’ you.”

    NRA opposes legislation banning bump stocks
    BY MALLORY SHELBOURNE – 10/12/17 02:54 PM EDT

    The National Rifle Association (NRA) on Thursday said it opposes legislation in both the House and the Senate that would ban the use of bump stocks, a device that can be used to increase a semi-automatic rifle’s rate of fire and was found in the hotel room of the Las Vegas shooter.

    (Trying to keep in touch with the header)
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3806f77a99addbe5b5f623b6d3d862401dbd3c8ca1797ed72a47d741500acfa4.jpg

    http://thehill.com/regulation/355183-nra-comes-out-against-legislation-banning-bump-stocks

    • miss_grundy

      These are the same people who kept screaming we need to have guns in schools even though twenty children were shot to shreds at Sandy Hook Elementary.

  • janecita
    • miss_grundy

      They are suffering from hysterics because they are surrounded by CUBANS!

      • janecita

        Right?! We are terrible people!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          You inflicted black beans and rice on us!

          • starfanglednut

            Yummm

          • janecita

            Also pernil, and tostones:-)

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Speaking of puffed-up egomaniacs – Zinke thinks he’s some sort of big shot!

    https://twitter.com/drewharwell/status/918602692431437825

    • BadKitty904

      “Barking mad” is an option, too.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I honestly think if I were trying to hire the most bizarre and corrupt Cabinet possible, I couldn’t have matched Donnie’s achievement with this crew.

      • dshwa

        Ones who wouldn’t invoke the 25th amendment because they’re too venal or stupid.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Why not both?

          • dshwa

            There’s a lot of ven overlap for this bunch. That’s for damn sure.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        He went shopping for his Cabinet at Grifters-R-Us.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Except for Ben Carson, who came from Wood -n- Things.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            “Self-hating blocks of wood our specialty!”

      • TootsStansbury

        I still have trouble believing this is happening. The GOP are the dirt of the universe.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Most people rarely encounter anyone this petty and chickenshit in their whole lives. Now we’ve got a government full of them.

        • Red Richmond

          Dirt libelz. At least dirt can be used to grow healthy, life-enriching things. Trying to grow something in the GOP is like planting in radioactive feces.

          • Werewolf

            And chickenshit can be used as fertilizer.

          • TootsStansbury

            This is true. I’m a gardener, I love me some good dirt.

      • mailman27

        There were plenty of garden-variety assholes available, but this administration dug deeper. Man o man.

    • What Pierre said

      What a self-important scrote-waffle, bless his heart.

    • miss_grundy
    • Raan

      Maybe if they stop, he’ll fuck off.

    • TundraGrifter

      Remember when that right wing gasbag ranted about candidate Obama flying his personal flag that was a perverted version of the American flag? It had red and white stripes but the white stars on the blue field were in an “O” and it had a funny shape so it was practically treason.

      Then someone told him it was the state flag of Ohio.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!

      Gottdammit I hate these fucking pieces of shit!

    • Canis Greyhame

      Yes, His Lordship is quite the condescending, arrogant bastard.
      https://youtu.be/b_jDtZfg8eg

      • SpideySenser

        Jesus, what an ASSHAT. Who the fuck does he think he is?

      • mailman27

        There’s a seemingly bottomless well of these dipshits.

  • aureolaborealis
    • starfanglednut

      Oh, my.

    • Skellygirl

      “IZ U…. FUD?”

    • mailman27

      Cuteness event horizon.

  • Joe Beese

    After years of walking right up to the point of saying so, Rose McGowan has accused Harvey Weinstein of raping her. McGowan has talked in broad terms about the incident that happened between her and Weinstein in 1997, the details of which seemed blocked by a nondisclosure agreement. In a Twitter thread posted Thursday afternoon, addressed to Amazon’s Jeff Bezos, McGowan said, “I told the head of your studio that HW raped me. Over & over I said it.”

    http://www.vulture.com/2017/10/rose-mcgowan-says-harvey-weinstein-raped-her.html

    • Joe Beese
      • Joe Beese

        As more celebrities came forward Wednesday to accuse Harvey Weinstein of sexual misconduct, the ousted studio executive said he’s “hanging in there” — and would like another chance to prove himself.

        “Guys, I’m not doing OK, but I’m trying,” he said outside of his daughter’s Los Angeles home in a video licensed by NBC News.

        “I gotta get help,” he added, before getting into a car that was reportedly taking him to the airport. “You know, what? We all make mistakes. Second chance, I hope.”

        http://www.necn.com/entertainment/entertainment-news/Harvey-Weinstein-Not-Doing-OK-Amid-Sexual-Misconduct-Scandal-450595553.html

        • mancityRed6

          just get the fuck out and hope you can still pay a driver and bodyguard.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
          • HogeyeGrex

            Second chance?

        • Raan

          Fuck him, and I hope a baboon shits on him.

          • sw19footrub

            WHY DO YOU HATE BABOON SHIT!>?!?!

          • ariel_gee_398

            You like it?

          • sw19footrub

            I mean, I couldn’t eat a whole one….

        • HogeyeGrex

          How about jail, motherfucker.

        • Rags

          “I was just joking” in 3,2,1….

    • sw19footrub

      Putting her in Twitter Jail might have been counterproductive.

      • NotReallyHere

        I hope so!

        • sw19footrub

          She mad as hell and not going to take it any more!
          https://twitter.com/rosemcgowan/status/918566520988483585

          • Joe Beese

            I wonder if she feels emboldened to break her NDA in the belief that Weinstein wouldn’t dare sue her now.

          • sw19footrub

            She’s also pretty much full indie scene now, so no need to suck at the Hollywood teat quite so hard. Good for her either way.

          • Raan

            Which Assassin’s Creed game is this?

          • Boscoe

            Assassin’s Creed Chronicles: China. It’s a side-scroller. I rather liked it.

    • Chyron HR

      “Rose McGowan has accused Harvey Weinstein of raping her.”

      No, no, HILLARY raped her. Weinstein is just an innocent bystander. Jeez, it’s like she hasn’t even read the talking points.

  • mancityRed6

    huh, weird how this isn’t all over the news:
    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/10/man-leaves-bomb-nc-airport-advance
    “The man authorities say left an explosive device at Asheville Regional Airport on Friday morning that contained ammonium nitrate and fuel oil said he was preparing to “fight a war on U.S. soil,” according to a criminal complaint filed in federal court.”
    on motherfucking Friday!

    • jesterpunk

      He was a really smart high quality white lone wolf. Trump wont talk about him because he doesnt want to alienate his base.

      • mancityRed6

        clock’s still ticking on him saying any fucking thing about fires.

        • sw19footrub

          He’s never going to win California.
          And Puerto Rico don’t have any electoral votes.
          So, you know, fuck ’em.

        • jesterpunk

          He gave Montana money for their fires but told Oregon to fuck off and hasn’t even mentioned California.

        • starfanglednut

          Too busy pursuing his petty grievances with Corker and NBC. It’s astonishing.

          Can you imagine what would have happened if Obama or Hillary had done this?

          • mancityRed6

            riots?

      • CaptainHowdyWinchester

        He could be a very fine person. Are you going to trust the media?

        • jesterpunk

          Did he have a permit?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      A true patriot. Unlike those black athletes…

    • SpideySenser

      White guy, you say? No probs. Just exercising those white guy rights.

    • Sophia

      Saw this on CNN the day it happened but I don’t think I’ve seen anything about it since. As far as trump goes, he’s busy with the NFL. That takes up a lot of his time through the day. Give the guy a break.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ♪┗ ( ・o・) ┓♪ And the grift goes on
    And the grift goes on
    La te dah te dee…..la te dah te dah….♪┏(・o・)┛♪ ♪

    https://twitter.com/kylegriffin1/status/918486476329021441

    • BadKitty904

      This is a crime. He should be charged and tried, like any other American.

      • Blackest Noobs

        he should be put up on a stick and roasted….but we don’t live in medieval times…but they keep this shit up…heads will literally roll.

      • HogeyeGrex

        You’re using the “S” word. It’s bad for your mental health.

        • BadKitty904

          Just a reminder of what *should* be and why it isn’t – Putin and the Republican Party.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Too bad he’s only the fredo in-law. If he were doing exactly the same shit while being President, apparently they let you do it. You can get away with anything. Take ’em furniture shopping …

  • BeachBum

    So riddle me this : Supposedly smart people paid to know shit say 3 things.
    1. The GOP tax plan will disproportionately help rich states over poorer states.
    2. The “crossing state lines” health ins option will cherry pick customers, thus leaving a poor pool and most likely crashing state exchanges mostly in in poorer states.
    3. Since 1968, all of the poorest states have been Republican, and all of the richest states are Democratic. ( some may quibble over TX, but with the price of oil, hurricanes, and a GOP not willing to do shit, the results are essentially the same.)
    So my question is this : Will any of this matter with the GOP base, or do they really think this is “winning” ?
    A Venn diagram would show it better, but my beer might get warm if I do one.

    • TJ Barke

      They’re stupid sheep, so whatever bad happens they’ll be happy to blame on liberals, homos and immigrants.

      • Duke

        And browns. You forgot the browns.

        • mancityRed6

          aren’t they all immigrants in a moron’s eyes?

        • TJ Barke

          Immigrants, browns, foreigns, you know, general “others”.

        • SpideySenser

          And women.

      • Begin Anew Day

        You left out Hillary.

    • mancityRed6

      Texas gambled big with the price of oil and lost big when fracking became a thing.

    • Joshua Norton

      A Venn diagram of things that are wrong and wingnuts who believe them would be a perfect circle.

    • TundraGrifter

      Selling across state lines has been legal for a while. The insurance companies haven’t done much of it because they’d have to line up local hospitals, doctors, and other service providers for their networks. It isn’t auto or life insurance.

      There’s another major issue I’ve written about here before. Under what set of state regulations (since insurance companies are regulated by each state) do they operate – in the state where they are headquartered or the state in which the insurance was sold?

      And which insurance fund backstops the policy holders if the company goes BK? We’re dealing with this in California right now. What amounts to an out-of-state company went BK and the California-based insurers are facing picking up the tab. And they aren’t very happy about it.

      • BeachBum

        It has to be the state the ins sold. Only way to enforce provider service and a backstop.

      • jesterpunk

        What about the multistate insurance groups they are proposing, what states rules count when different businesses in different states get together to buy insurance as a group? Which states rule then?

      • so i was at an ACA training thing here in IL today with some high level DOI folks. they seem to be thinking there’s legal defenses against these types of plans (even though we certainly have some already). is that possible?

    • jesterpunk

      Trump’s remaining base just wants government by spite. If it pisses off liberals they are all for it.

      • Persistent Demme

        So true.
        That’s why I say: fuck ’em.
        And fuck the left-wing idiots here in SF that want focus their energy on primarying Nancy Pelosi.
        Nice priorities, assholes!

    • SayItWithWookies

      The perfect rube doesn’t know when he’s been ripped off — and if Tea Partiers aren’t the perfect rubes, I don’t know who is. So that bunch, if not all Republicans.

    • gene108

      As long as more minorities get hurt by taking away their healthcare, it is all good for them.

    • Sophia

      I would say Dunning Kruger is a big part of it. They want to make sure “I got mine fuck you'” so bad that they will believe anything in their ignorance. I am watching a real bad case of it at work. I overheard him ask a question today about NAFTA and our business. One of his comments was “Trump’s smart”..GAG!

      http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/05/donald-trump-supporters-dunning-kruger-effect-213904

    • Begin Anew Day

      The dumbasses in Kansas elect GOP governors and legislators who have successfully impoverished the state and bankrupted the state government.

      On the bright side Kansas is next door to Colorado which has legal weed and a booming tourist trade of Kansas farm boys and girls crossing over to stock up on smokable and edible product which they can take back to peddle in their schools at vastly inflated prices.

      The best part is ALL the tax money stays in Colorado.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Typical barely-solvent Kansan: “At least we’re not Oklahoma!”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The GOP has been fucking them over for decades – what makes you think they’ll wise up this time?
      “Sure, I just had to take out a mortgage to pay for my chemo, but at least the baker in town don’t have to make cakes for no homos. Ain’t America great?”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    For anyone who noted Dominic’s use of the term this morning, THIS is Mollycoddling: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c34080571efc52d440fb55377d231d6fe335a3eda4e2fa6e1ee916f50ce28f0e.jpg

    • TundraGrifter

      We had a dachshund who lived to burrow under a blanket. On a hot day it was a tough choice for Oskar – that’s how much he liked it. Then we got Pancho and Felina. Terrier-Chihuahua mixes. At first they didn’t go for it at all. Now they love it.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I think Townes Van Zandt wrote a song about them.

      • Persistent Demme

        Some dogs seem to crave warmth.
        My grand dog, Ina, a Chi-weenie, loves to burrow in my hair when I dogsit.

        • Rags

          Not a Dawawa?

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            It hought it was poodles who’d fuck anything. Sounds like chihuahuas are not any fussier.

          • Persistent Demme

            Love that!

    • Bill D. Burger

      That immediately made me think of a famous piece of Native American art by Tony Abeyta called “The Three Spirits”!
      The colors, I suppose…..and my third glass of wine, mebbe!

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5e8a668e9d711bb4701de5fcdb9a3cde2e00bdc073aae4215bda7ee762f535b1.jpg

      • TootsStansbury

        That is beautiful. I have two loblollies in the back of my fantasy retirement place who I have named the Hero Twins. They are magnificent and are the supporters of so much wonderful bird drama.

      • SpideySenser

        That is spectacularly stunning.

    • Michael R
      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Molly doesn’t need to be that clever. She trained me instead.

        • DrBigHead

          I understand what it is like to be trained. We have a small terrier who often picks up dead plant parts in his fur when we walk along the wash by the house. When it happens, he stops and looks at us pathetically until we “save” him.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Molly’s that way when she gets a thorn in her paw. She doesn’t whimper or anything, but will just stand there with her paw in the air until I get the goathead out.

      • Skellygirl

        This is one of my favorite GIFS of all time. I enjoy watching it more than most Hollywood blockbusters I’ve seen.

      • pure delight. thank you on a really crappy day.

    • janecita

      She looks so cozy:-)

    • Skellygirl

      Such a handsome fluffer!

    • armed_bears

      Airedale = King of Terriers…

  • TootsStansbury

    Can we petition the U.N. or the E.U. to try the Republican party for crimes against humanity? It’s bad now but it goes back a ways.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    This is so unfair – Il Douche likes islands that don’t get hit with hurricanes.

    • NorthernSaber

      Actually, it looks like Ophelia may be paying a visit to the UK, per today’s weather maps…

  • sw19footrub

    In memory of taco trucks on every corner:
    https://twitter.com/Eden_Eats/status/918361646107463680

  • Sophia

    Emails Show ICE Couldn’t Find Enough Dangerous Immigrants To Fulfill The Adminstration’s Fantasies

    https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20171010/11150238379/emails-show-ice-couldnt-find-enough-dangerous-immigrants-to-fulfill-adminstrations-fantasies.shtml?

    • Edith Prickly

      But Alex Jones said!?! my uncle forwarded an e-mail!??!! Breitbart Fox News ARRGEHGHHGGGHH *arglebargle snort zzzz*

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Fake news! Totally made up! It’s a shame that people can just e-mail anything they want.

      • Sophia

        It all started with a Nigerian Prince.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I have never been as angry during a trial as I am right now. The State rested yesterday at around 230. I immediately moved for a judgment of acquittal, on the basis that the State is required to demonstrate (in an aiding and abetting case) that there is not only a union of act and intent, but also that both my client and the principle actor must share an intent to conduct an illegal act, therefore, the State’s failure to interview/charge/or call the principle actor as a witness means they have insufficient proof. The Prosecutor demanded time to research the relevant (absolutely elementary, black letter) law. We reconvened at 4:00 to argue my motion. Because the evidence was in, His Honor elected to reserve judgment until the jury renders its verdict. We reconvened this morning at 800 to argue final jury instructions, including my proposed instruction (submitted nearly 2 months ago) consistent with the above law. His Honor adopted my proposed instruction. The Prosecutor whined and demanded additional time to “adjust” his summation. The judge gave him 2 hours. Then he needed an additional hour. I objected, noting that I was ready to go, and he should be too, considering he’d had the proposed instruction — and the citations supporting its adoption — for 7 weeks. I also pointed out that the only fucking people on the planet who are allowed to claim ignorance of the law as an excuse seem to be states’ attorneys, and that the entire issue is settled fucking law, and has been for 26 years.

    That motherfucker then went in front of the jury and accused me of “trial by ambush” and told them not to be fooled by my “typically sleazy shenanigans.” The judge warned him about personal attacks and gave him a pretty thorough tongue-lashing after the jury was gone. Now, we’re waiting for the jury to come back, and I get a note from his fucking boss inviting me to have a drink with him after the jury comes back to “sooth [my] ruffled feathers.” Fuck these assholes.

    ETA: Sorry, I realize a lot of you have no interest in or knowledge of court procedures, but I’m sitting in an empty courtroom and don’t have anyone else to complain to.

    • sw19footrub

      Given my experience with juries, I wish you and your client (presuming they’re innocent!) the best of luck.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Thanks. I would like to see acquittals, but when the judge adopted my proffered instruction, he pretty much signaled that if the vote to convict, he intends to enter a directed verdict of acquittal.

        • sw19footrub

          Good news! Sorry I didn’t pick that up when I read your non-comment. Why if he intends to do that, would he waste the jury’s time and effort? Just say, thanks y’all and send ’em home for a nice cup of tea.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            If he enters a directed verdict, the State is likely to appeal. If the jury votes to acquit, the State if highly unlikely to appeal because it is almost unheard of for an appellate court to set aside a jury verdict.

          • sw19footrub

            Ah, I see! Thanks, that makes some sense.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Do let us know how it turns out.

        • mancityRed6

          good luck

        • Raan

          So if I understand the directed verdict right (and I’m not sure I do), it’s basically the judge saying “you twelve are too stupid to understand what’s reasonable”, and telling them to come back with a not guilty verdict?

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Kind of. I made my Rule 29 motion at the close of the State’s case-in-chief, and he could have dismissed at that time. I presume that the reason he didn’t was because he hadn’t decided and intended to consider our arguments last night while he reviewed the proposed jury instructions. He let the case proceed to the jury because a decision by a jury is favored over a decision by a judge. In effect, “we’ve come this far, we’d just as well see if they get it right.”

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Judge is sticking it to the prosecution by giving the jury a shot at it. Nice.

    • Raan

      Send him back a picture of Dick Butt.

      http://blog.memes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/dickbutt2.png

      *Not intended to be actual advice.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Don’t apologize- I think it’s very interesting. Also too fuck that State’s Attorney. What a douchebag.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        The boss is not a bad guy. I’m guessing he’s not getting the entire story.

    • Shibusa
      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        LOL. Save this one for Trump’s trial.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          Trump will use Reagan’s “I forgot” defense. This time it will be the truth.

    • RMKH

      Hey, we’re here for you. This is a community of sorts. Isn’t it?

      • Augustus

        It is!

    • Begin Anew Day

      Don’t complain. Think about how famous you will be when you reveal that there is an incompetent judge and a sleazy prosecutor to be found in our system of justice! This discovery may just get you a Nobel Prize or something!

      But seriously, I read it all and you did a fine job of holding my attention. Me, the man who can’t concentrate on one thing for too long.

    • Rags

      I wish you luck and I know you’re rattled, but principal/principle…..

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Oh, darling, I haven’t watched each and every episode of Law & Order 5 times (may Jerry Orbach’s soul forever enjoy his soft-shoe shenanigans in heaven) to not be interested in court procedures. Besides, you are extremely articulate and any fool can follow your narrative.

      I whole-heartedly agree, fuck those assholes!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Remote possibilty that the boss is pissed at the attorney? That “ambush” b.s. sounds like something made up on the spot by somebody who doesn’t (should, but doesn’t) know better.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I told him maybe another time. Not tonight. I might tell him exactly what I think of his deputy. The kid probably needs to get knocked around a bit rather than outright fired.

    • TJ Barke

      The urge to say “you motherfucker” too much prevents me from becoming a lawyer.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      As a former paralegal I find it fascinating. I’ve only work on 1 defense case and that was my boss’s buddy. I hope you feel good for being a pro, and I hope the winds blow in your favor.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Christ. That’s fucking awful. I was an ASA and I can’t imagine comments like that to a jury. You did your job and he fucked up. Absolutely indefensible.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Tell the guys boss you expect more than a drink when you get screwed. Does the jury look dumb enough to fall for his trick?

    • Michael Smith

      What the hell? I didn’t know ad hominem attacks on opposing counsel was an acceptable part of closing arguments. Doesn’t that prejudice the jury?

    • Miss Dill

      I want to hear how it turns out.

  • Holly

    Hi guys. I’d like to share another feels good from my darlings at PAART. We need some good news that doesn’t have anything to do with the Orange Cheeto Fucktater.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GBlothUjJg

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Hope someone will give this poor beastie a loving home.

      • Holly

        He is now happily in charge of a pack of humans and they found each other right after he was brought to safety.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      “We need some good news that doesn’t have anything to do with the Orange Cheeto Fucktate.”

      There is no such thing as good news that has ANYthing to do with the OCF.

      • Holly

        Sorry you read it that way.

    • mancityRed6

      *sees French bread*
      those might be intended to be flotation devices. or if he needs to defend himself

      • I want good baguette more than i want the tea i just made

        • mancityRed6

          with some garlic butter, and a nice red
          *looks at instant mash and beer*
          well, shit

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        He’s French, and they were out of baguettes. Any questions?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        My mum is a truly excellent baker, but her first attempt at making baguette yielded long sticks so inedible that my sis and I ended up swordfighting with them.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      I have but one upfist, but that needs many more!!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    All this terrifying shit we keep hearing about how deranged and unstable Trump is? It’s coming from INSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE!11!!1

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Nah, can’t be, John Kelly said today everything’s cool, so it’s gotta be cool, right?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Who should I believe, right? Him or my lyin’ eyes.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Hola! Waiting for class to start.

    i got called “sir” by TWO men in their twenties today.

    Harrumph.

    • DrBigHead

      Some asshole referred to The Girl as my granddaughter the other day. Ms.BigHead busted a gut laughing at me.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        a very pregnant student just held the door open for me.

        I feel REALLY bad about that one.

        • DrBigHead

          OK, That tops my story…

    • Doug Langley

      That’s nothing. Wait until you’re called “sir” by someone in their forties.

    • Doug Langley

      So what class?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        contract law.

        • Doug Langley

          Oh dear God, please don’t say John Houseman is the prof.

    • Getting “ma’am-ed” makes me very ragey and stabby

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        When somebody offers you their seat on the subway – that’s a real low.

        • Unless it’s Keanu Reeves.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          That I’m okay with. Especially if I’ve been wearing heels all day.
          That said, I offer my seat to preggo ladies, old folks who look like they could use it and occasionally someone just looks exhausted. I’ve just never seen that kind of courtesy as a gendered thing.

      • It hurt the first time. Now it strikes me as indicative of good manners.

      • Catstro

        I get more offended by “miss” these days. I know how old I look, your flattery is bullshit and isn’t going to work. The firat few m’aams hurt like fire, though

    • jaspersdad

      About 5 years ago I was offered a seat on a city bus by a young woman. I graciously accepted. But yeah, harrumph indeed.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      When I get maam’ed I tell them they can only say that if I’m the Queen or they’re wearing spurs and a Stetson. And I’m not the fucking queen!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        well, it is Texas here.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Fair enough.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      “Sir? That’s my dad’s name.”
      or
      “Don’tCallMeSirIWorkForALiving!!”

  • ariel_gee_398

    Jesus christ humans, get it together.

    Waters questioned the morality of such fashion-led breeding, in the wake of similar fears over the health and welfare of flat-nosed dog breeds such as bulldogs, French bulldogs and pugs.

    “The real original Arabian horse’s head was very beautiful but they are now being bred purely for that [concave] look. There is no functional value in a horse having a face like that. Vets believe that if you distort the skull like that there’s a risk you affect the airwaves and the breathing capacity of the horse.”

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/12/outcry-over-extreme-bred-horse-that-looks-like-an-aardvark

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      The AKC should be designated a criminal organization and prosecuted. What they’ve done to bulldogs with their “standards” is ghastly. “Inhumane” doesn’t even begin to describe it.

      • DrBigHead

        And look how many German Shepherds have hip dysplasia. Dogs are not fashion accessories, gooddamnit!

      • ariel_gee_398

        This is what they did to a fucking horse. (Warning, it is disturbing as shit and they have shitty autoplay music.) http://orrionfarms.com/our-horses/el-rey-magnum-rcf

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I don’t know if I can watch. I’d cut a bitch for hurting an animal.

          • ariel_gee_398

            It’s just photos, but i get it. I actually gasped when I saw the poor critter. They claim he’s perfectly healthy, but jesus.

          • Skellygirl

            It was the first time I’d ever wondered if a photo of a *horse* was photoshopped.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I wonder what the overlap is between people who are into this kind of breeding and people who think gay and trans folks are offensive because they aren’t respecting god’s plan.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        And collies! Collies used to be cool but they literally, and I mean it, bred the brains outta them to get that stupidly skinny head. Not just me talking, Tempel Grandin says so.

    • Jenny

      Ummm maybe they should look into sea horse farming. It would be easier to get the look they’re going for.

    • Skellygirl

      This is the deformed horse porn that “heckuvajob, Brownie” was into. Inbreeding that harshly is just nonsensical – part of the beauty of the Arabian is that they’re tough, resilient desert horses.

      • ariel_gee_398

        And aren’t we doing enough damage to critters via our lack of environmental policy without adding shit like this to the mix?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Don’t forget the lipo and botox. Seriously. Humans just insist on fucking up everything eventually.

      • shivaskeeper

        Tough and resilient isn’t the half of it. They can thrive on scrub. Also, too if you gain an Arabian’s trust they will bust their heart for you.

    • shivaskeeper

      I have Arabians. All are mares. None of them look even remotely like that. The breeders and trainers I know around me hate that look with the fire of a 1000 burning Death Stars.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Wouldn’t it be great if the British told donnie that the motel 6 they stick him in is really the Royal Palace?

    “Here Sir you will find your King Size Bed. The Royal Ice Reserve may be found just down the stairs over there.”

    • Shanzgood

      I hope it has bedbugs like his hotels.

    • Canis Greyhame

      What, where there no cells to be had in The Tower?

    • mancityRed6

      take him to a Little Chef, he’ll love it

    • Rags

      “Your Magic Fingers are available at the touch of a quarter, and your mattress has already been generously anointed with pee.”

    • H0mer0

      them castles get drafty, n’est-ce pas? I mean right?

  • Anna Rompage

    Just bought my first, real, genuine adult suit…

    It’s a bad selfie in the dressing room, so please forgive!

    BTW, That’s what normal sized hands should look like peeking out of the sleeve of a suit jacket… not like our petulant, cheeto hued, man child in Chief, with the tiny hands!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2343dbb29f6c4fac125ecef24c47bc7bda52ac325db2e7f92040a2b53a901a16.jpg

    • Skellygirl

      Swank! And it was on SALE!

      • Anna Rompage

        Hellz yeah, got it half off thank gawd…

        $700 for a jacket and pants? Fuck that!

        • Skellygirl

          Could you drop into the White House to give Chief Cheeto some style tips? ‘Cause he’s kind of an embarrassment…

          • Anna Rompage

            Did you see that fucker wearing a navy coat with black pants?

            WTF?

            That mother fucker needs Geranimals

          • Catstro

            My grandmas wear Garanimals for grown ups, and it takes a lot of the stress out of planning an outfit. Also, elasticized pants (if you have to wear pants to leave the house, you can’t go wrong with an elastic waistband). I’m jealous, but not quite old enough to start rocking Alfred Dunner.

            Also, this is further proof that Melania fucking hates his guts. No loving wife would let her husband out of the house wearing a navy jacket and black pants.

          • therblig

            “But his wife—you said that she had ceased to love him.”

            “This hat has not been brushed for weeks. When I see you, my dear Watson, with a week’s accumulation of dust upon your hat, and when your wife allows you to go out in such a state, I shall fear that you also have been unfortunate enough to lose your wife’s affection.”

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          yikes, don’t go browse brookersbrothers.com. I love their suits (I’ve never bought one, only seen them), but they do have 1/2 off sales sometimes. (I’ve still never been able to afford one.)

          • Anna Rompage

            The only thing I’ve ever been able to afford from them is a pair of glasses, and even that hurt the pocket book

    • Canis Greyhame

      looking sharp!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      sharp! Get that bugger altered to fit perfectly.

      • Anna Rompage

        I am! Their taking a little length out of the arm so the cuff will show, and fitting the midriff a little tighter…

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        ETA: I mean if it needs it. It looks like it fits pretty good – I’m stupid on these long Thursdays (or more than usual).

    • RMKH

      Sharp dressed man

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Silk suit, black tie?
        You don’t need a reason why.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Looks good. Even if this is a pants free zone.

    • Awesome!

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Snappy!

    • starfanglednut

      Another handsome wonketeer. When is that wonkette dating site going up?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        As soon as they start allowing comments I imagine.

    • sw19footrub

      Very Gilbert & George!

    • Damn. Fine. Threads.

      • Anna Rompage

        Thank you!

    • Shanzgood

      Very debonair! What’s the occasion?

      • Anna Rompage

        I’m finally, at the age of 47, am getting married!

        I had a very long time sowing my oats in a consensual, mutually respected sort of way, but I think this is the right time, with the right person…

        I never thought I would get married, but here I am!

        • Dg Hacket

          Congratulations!

        • Shanzgood

          Oh, congratulations! I’m so happy for you!

    • H0mer0

      Is it tailored and stuff? You look adorable!

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Who’s a handsome boy? You’re a handsome boy! Worth the ameros when you’re buying the grown up clothes.

    • TJ Barke

      You dapper bastard.

    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • suweet!

  • amrak63

    Good night, Wonketarians.

    The next thing this guy needs to paint is a picture of a billion dollars.

    https://i.imgur.com/BKMJsZZ.jpg

    • Raan

      I would have said the other half of the girl…

      • amrak63

        I assume she is climbing out of the picture, and her other half will leave the other dimension for the painter’s dimension shortly.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          A-ha!

    • mancityRed6

      don’t be greedy. $10 million

    • Thiazin Red

      That would get noticed, just sketch a couple of hundreds when you need them.

    • stumpknocker

      oh my, you all got it wrong, she yanks him into the canvas and eats him alive, you can see it in his face.

      • sw19footrub
        • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

          You ppl r fkn klln me!

      • amrak63

        Why can he not simply be alarmed at the unexpected distortion of reality?

        Alternatively, he already has a wife or girlfriend, so this new woman can only mean trouble.

        Alter-alternatively, he’s yaoi or asexual.

      • amrak63

        And he does not or cannot resist?

        What do you think she is, a Phantom Zone Kryptonian?

      • amrak63

        By the Holy Ascended Madoka, you are a killjoy, dude.

        • stumpknocker

          i’m no fucking killjoy, i voted for Hillary.

          • amrak63

            At least we have that much in common.

          • stumpknocker

            look at her face, the face of a young pretty woman with a substance abuse problem, sure that life will be ok because she is young and pretty, with a clean heart taking him to destruction as she is clueless where her life must take her.

          • amrak63

            How can you tell she has a substance abuse problem?

          • stumpknocker

            looking in the mirror.

          • amrak63

            I don’t know what to say to that.

    • mancityRed6

      bearer bonds

    • How gouache.

      • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

        I saw water you did there

      • amrak63

        Everyone’s acrylic.

      • TootsStansbury

        I gesso.

        • A+

          • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

            Chalk up another win for Puns.

      • amrak63

        Is that only your opinion, or did you canvas your neighborhood?

        • I tried to, but was brushed aside by everyone I asked.

        • therblig

          i wanted to ask jamie wyeth what the pigment

      • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

        He’s been framed!

    • TootsStansbury

      It’s obviously an incel. He’s in anguish because she turns into a real female human.

    • mancityRed6

      strange women coming out of paintings is never good.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        TVs either too, e.g., The Ring.

    • TJ Barke

      Instant waifu.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Or she pulls him into the canvas for ever and ever.

        • TJ Barke

          There’s probably worse fates.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          How bad could that be? He’s a drawing too.

  • Autie Maxine! Here she goes!

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    Dear England,

    I think it’s high time y’all do us a favor considering that whole WWII thing a while back. I’m not asking much. Just please, when trump gets there. Keep him.

    • redarmyzombie

      You’re asking a tall order, man…

      • Augustus

        Yeah but then we’re even, okay?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        In gaol? In gaol would be good, right?
        I mean, ideally they’d set him up in a storefront in Edinburgh or Glasgow that doesn’t have curtains so he has to face the jeers of the Scots for the rest of his days. Plus it would be great for tourism.

        • puredog

          Sort of like Amsterdam’s Red Light neighborhood, but catering to ridicule rather than offering skin.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            That’s actually exactly what I was thinking of! Great minds, friend.

    • Thiazin Red

      Come on England we took Pierce Morgan, you owe us for that too.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Cryptic message from the Judge. We are staying until a verdict is returned. He does not intend to reconvene tomorrow. Also, he’ll turn this car around . . . so help him.

  • Jenny

    Why was I never told about the magic of pressure cookers before????

    • Candy Matson

      What did you make?

      • Jenny

        Ribs!

    • sw19footrub

      Pressure goes in. Food comes out. You can’t explain it.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        You can, but you’d need charts and graphs and shit. And Christopher Kimball or Alton Brown, probably.

      • TootsStansbury

        My explanation for everything is Republicans suck and are the lowest and the worst of any monsters.

      • Augustus

        By increasing pressure you reduce the amount of energy and time required to raise a substance to a given temperature. It’s not too complicated.

        • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

          But where do the magnets come into play?

          • Sakonyachen

            On the riverfront in St. Louis. It’s a giant weather magnet. Something to do with Lizard Jews.

        • So global warming is caused by the Earth’s dome being screwed down really tight?
          I love science.

        • therblig

          PV = NRT?

          • Augustus

            Ideal!

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent
    • mancityRed6

      some of my oldest memories are of dad in the kitchen with a pressure cooker rattling on the stove.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        My mom was afraid of them and wouldn’t have one in the house.

        • Catstro

          I remember the little bobber thingie on my mom’s pressure cooker hitting the ceiling once. I own one, but only because the new ones are infinitely less terrifying. I had a stovetop model, but I got rid of it for an instant pot (electric) and I’m pretty pleased. But the old school ones? Hell no.

    • Shanzgood

      My XMIL (British) committed grave vegetable atrocities with hers.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Veggies cooked to mush I’ll wager.

        • Shanzgood

          I don’t know how she managed to serve them onto the pre-warmed plates without them collapsing.

    • bubbuhh

      Just remember to wear your MAGA pressure cooker deflection helmet and you and your family will enjoy the tasty wonders of pressure cooking for years to come

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/53cfa0405a9f7bf699286196aa0042a290594ca7c379eeff34ac1dd3ae01fc09.jpg

    • OutOfOrbit

      THRY

    • what kind do you have? i’ve been thinking of getting one for a while now. mom keeps offering me her CA 1964 small armament and i would like to be able to say no.

      • Jenny

        I was given an instant pot. Magics!

      • Catstro

        I was given an instant pot as a gift, and I thought I would hate it. At first I did hate it, but largely because I was being stubborn and declaring loudly that I liked my Kuhn-Rikon just fine. But now I love it. It heats up the house way less than a stovetop model, which is really important when you live in the South and have a diet that relies heavily on beans year round.

    • Rags

      Great for risotto. Easy peasy

    • Persistent Demme

      Mr. Demme got an Instant Pot, and I love it!
      (But my rice cooker has a sad.)

  • Who the fuck is this Ben Howe asshole? He is a gigantic asshole

  • my feet are normal
    • Shanzgood

      Hahahaha! He looks like he just farted.

      • That’s the look!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He always looks like that. Remember the pic with the Pope? “Smell that? Yeah. That was me. Enjoy.”

    • nobody seems to much like him really. weird.

  • Blackest Noobs

    so Trump heard this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fgDxAASI_c

    and this jackass, who is suppose to be the Commander in Chief, the guy who loves the military MOAR than anyone else, pined, ” Oh is that for me?”

    jesus what a fucking asshole. and any military person who supports this faker, this asshole is a fucking moron.

    • WIDTAP
      • bbayliss

        Who could have known?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        What a respectful, clever guy…

    • WIDTAP

      Quick hint for those who haven’t served – watch what the uniformed people are doing.

      • jesterpunk

        Grabbing their leg because their bone spurs hurt?

      • Blackest Noobs

        it’s ok if civvies didn’t know…but the President…THE PRESIDENT?!?
        the same one saying football player kneeling during the anthem is OFFENSIVE to the vets and active duty….why are the right so blind….is winning all that matters?

        • WIDTAP

          “is winning all that matters?”

          No. Just that the Libz heads explode. Vindictiveness is the new Christian Charity.

    • bubbuhh

      Not necessarily. Have it on good authority that most morons don’t fuck onaccuntta can’t figure out how order a blow up doll. Many morons who do successfully acquire a blow up doll, keep tryin to blow it up wif their dicks also too.

      Anywayz, not much fuckin goin on in moron households. Thank goodness. Imagine if Trump voters were a majority.

    • TootsStansbury

      It’s all a goddamn lie. Tramp and his enablers hate the U.S. and everything it stands for. Listening, GOP?

      • therblig

        i don’t think they hate it, they just don’t care about it except as a means to get re-elected by their idiot supporters, and as a way to suckle at the sweet teat of lobbyist grift. but they still think it’s the greatest country on earth.

  • HazooToo

    Obama-Trudeau sleepover. Thank you so much for ending the day on this note!

  • jesterpunk

    Republicans:”The federal government doesnt need to be involved in healthcare, leave it to the states. They can do it better and cheaper”

    Me “Ok geniuses, why didnt they do anything about insurance before the ACA or even after the ACA when they could do more then it required?”

    Republicans : “Look over there ——>>>>”

    https://media.tenor.com/images/df0c7e27c55ba3ade8f0ebe78718be76/tenor.gif

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      We drink, Republicans drink, spew out pseudointellectuals drivel, then start laughing maniacally.

      We look at them impassively as they laugh, then suddenly fall over.

      Iocaine’s a bitch if you’re not used to it.

    • Covfefe

      How soon you libtards forget. Paul Ryan taught us that healthcare isn’t a right, it’s a responsibility. Donald is giving you freedom, to choose the plan that best fits your needs. Win/win.

  • Persistent Demme

    Some idiotic, Trump-loving Americans may have rationalized away the Nazi threat, but Britain has not.
    (And never will.)

    • TJ Barke

      America didn’t get blitzed…

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Not collectively, true. Individually, however….

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I was tryin’ to think of a clever way to say that… but that was the best way to say it…

      • CripesAmighty

        Yet.

  • gallbladder

    OT but, a dose of fucking reality for Ben Carson:

    https://twitter.com/cspan/status/918494789330526209

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Why, that doesn’t look urban at all.

    • Sophia

      Srsly Carson looked like he could give no fucks about what was being said as I was crying along with the speaker. So many of these people in power have no fucking hearts.

      • gallbladder

        Me too. Gutting.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Oh bullshit! That’s a picture of a grain silo.

      • Raan

        Doesn’t look like the Great Pyramids.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          When you are squinting because you can barely stay awake, I’m sure it does.

    • therblig

      “Where we lived, in Detroit, we didn’t even have a porch like you did” – Ben Carson

  • RMKH

    Apologies if this was already posted:

    “The Republican Party has gone from Abraham Lincoln to Sarah Palin to Donald Trump. No wonder they don’t believe in evolution.” – Andy Borowitz

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    Long fucking day at the office. Client has a sentenencing on a shooting. He gets 10 years, and judge says he would’ve gone the full 15 if I hadn’t negotiated a cap. Lots of hugging family members.

    People think criminal defense attorneys are cynical assholes who don’t care about clients. Am cynical asshole, but we also carry water on serious cases.

    I’m sleeping with triceratom (my stepson’s designated stuffed animal to keep me company on a 3 day national guard weekend) tonight :)

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I’m in it for the sharkskin suits and top-shelf scotch. Congrats, though, on a job well done.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Is natural light considered top shelf? I never really graduated to real ‘adult beverages’

    • Oxidation Suspenders

      I like ambien, but I’ve heard triceratom is good too. Hope you sleep well.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        My fuckin’ insurance does not cover triceratom.

      • Catstro

        Triceratom > ambien Walrus

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Ambien didn’t really work for me, and then I felt hungover the next day besides.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Have some fun on your duty weekend…

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        The army can somehow make shooting an m4 not fun. But, at least I’ll get an MRE or two :)

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Silver linings.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Until the MREs get rat fucked by my colleagues and I end up with some tuna and refried beans :)

          • Beanz&Berryz

            That sounds kinda good. In a way.

  • bubbuhh

    Hurricane Ophelia will be hitting the British Isles in a few days. Trump will be twitting a bill for thoughts and prayers to the Queen uv our 51st state.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Well that’s a particularly disturbing name for a hurricane, especially seeing as it’s headed toward Shakespeareland.

      • bubbuhh

        might even make to a hamlet in Denmark

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Be wary then; best safety lies in fear

          • bubbuhh

            Youth to itself rebels, though none else near.

          • Mormos

            poetry is easy to fake, when thy sentences doth no fucking sense make.

          • bubbuhh

            Tell it to Shakespeare. He wrote those lines. And, they make excellent sense to those with working brains and ears.

  • jesterpunk
    • bubbuhh

      He gonna make teh stock market pay off T-Bondz and T-Notez. Well, YAAAAAAYYYYYY……oh. He just talkin shit again. Doubledogdam.

      • Raan

        He thinks T-Bondz and T-Notez are the guys who used to get him his coke.

        • jesterpunk

          Arnt they the people Maine’s governor was talking about?

          • Raan

            Yeah. They brought the cocaine in from Canada through Maine to sell it to Donald Trump.

    • DrBigHead

      Good god, is he trying to out-dumb himself?

      • jesterpunk

        Lots of drugs and little brains.

    • therblig

      so, by the weekend, the stock market should wipe out that PR debt. trumpy is a financial genius.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      This is the kind of math you do when you’ve declared bankruptcy four times.

    • Delu

      If it did, Obama would have wiped it out.

  • jesterpunk

    Say it again Joe, maybe some people will eventually get the idea.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/918631106882260997

  • Sophia

    Huh? Dude will probably get trump’s backing.

    GOP Congressional Candidate Michael Snyder Is ‘Proud To Stand With Alex Jones And InfoWars’

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/gop-congressional-candidate-michael-snyder-is-proud-to-stand-with-alex-jones-and-infowars/

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      But can he autofellate?

  • sw19footrub

    Leaving this here without non-comment:
    https://twitter.com/natemcdermott/status/918613462489686016

    • DrBigHead

      Now THAT’S foresight

      • sw19footrub

        To be fair, I always put a similar clause about setting people on fire in my contracts.
        Because, hey can’t be too careful.

        • I stand by my Pratchett approved philosophy: if you give a man a fire, he’ll be warm for a day. Set fire to him, he’ll be warm for the rest of his life

          • Major_Major_Major

            Semi-related:Mrs M3 found the Discworld companion, turtle recall, at the dollar store for a dollar. Hardback even. All the way up to Snuff. With illustrations. Did I mention she bought it for a dollar?

          • Jealous. I bought all my Pratchett new. Even ordered a fancy hardbacked Good Omens from the UK

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Just make a big donation to the Shriners and your local Fire Department and you’re good to go.

    • ariel_gee_398

      So the board’s official position was “we know you’re an abuser but we’re fine with it as long as it doesn’t impact our bottom line”? Good luck rehabbing your brand now, assholes.

      • Covfefe

        The essence of tort is foreseeability.

      • Canis Greyhame

        I expect the news to drop any day that they’ll be renaming the company to “Xe Productions”, or possibly “Academi Films” why not.

        • Mormos

          worked for blackwater

    • Covfefe

      RICO

      • ariel_gee_398

        It’s a real shame that the victims probably signed very thorough waivers when they settled, releasing him personally, the board, and the company from any and all claims known or unknown. If anyone didn’t settle and is still within the statute of limitations, well, go get your money, ma’am. They owe you.

    • Except companies cannot break the law, so……

  • Sakonyachen

    Today at work, a lady came into my wife’s office and told her that she had recently gotten pregnant, but she hasn’t had sex in 2 years. How is this possible you may ask? Well my pie eyed liberal friends, it was the flu shot. And before you say she’s crazy, keep in mind her mother was there. The mother agrees, because it happened to the lady’s friend. Sound logic.

    My wife started to cry telling me this story. I started to believe that there is a God. And he put Trump in office to nuke the earth because we are not worth smiting himself.

    • ariel_gee_398

      You know, it’s a straight shot from the arm to the uterus. Sounds legit.

      • therblig

        sounds like somebody shot and then flew

      • Vaccinations are really going down the tubes.

      • Sakonyachen

        Especially since sperm aren’t designed to be vulnerable so that only the best and brightest make it to the egg. Considering that the immune system will attack a fetus if you take antibiotics, sperm won’t last half an instant after it leaves the needle.

        • ariel_gee_398

          I’ve volunteered quite a bit with Planned Parenthood. It is fucking STAGGERING what college-educated adults don’t know about sex and reproduction.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Your wife has an office that’s open to raving lunatics on the street?

      • Sakonyachen

        Small town Illinois. Chicago, the college towns, and the STL Metro East are the only reason Trump didn’t get our electoral votes. And we spend most of our time shooting each other.

        • Left Coast Tom

          California law requires that school students receive fact-based sex education, and its courts have ruled that “abstinence only” doesn’t meet the requirements of the law (sorry, Fresno…).

          Maybe IL should pass this.

          • Sakonyachen

            I sometimes think our state legislature gets a perverse thrill out of watching the unwashed breeding themselves into parameciums.

          • Left Coast Tom

            The IL Lege is heavily Democratic, right? Someone should inform them that the paramecium vote Republican.

          • Sakonyachen

            They have trouble finding the polls so no biggie.

    • I hope your wife is a psychiatrist, not an OBGYN.

      • Sakonyachen

        Not even a doctor. She knows more about eyes than half the doctors she’s worked for, but that really has nothing to with pregnancy. Or does it? At least I know which people think infowars is real now.

        • …and there’s no talking them out of it.

    • Jenny

      Nobody is having sex! It’s those dastardly flu shots! At least the toilet seats and the hot tubs are finally getting a break from impregnating all the ladies.

    • Sophia

      We about to have an epidemic of pregnancies this flu season?

    • Delu

      It wasn’t God who put Trump in the Whitehouse.

      It was people like them.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Finally, I learn how babby made!

      • Parakeetist

        My Mom told me.

      • Covfefe

        Shame a woman’s body can’t shut flu shot conception down.

      • Sophia

        My 4 y.o. granddaughter asked me one day “How are people made?” Being the artful dodger I am i replied “Maybe this is something you should talk to your mom about.” After some back and forth on this I realized she wasn’t asking how babies are made she thought full grown people just come that way. Thus explaining trump. Some people do not grow up they are just there.

    • CripesAmighty

      Y’know how I was expounding on the unfortunate effects of eating two-week-old hotdogs? Maybe it wasn’t food poisoning after all. Maybe I’m preggers.

    • HazooToo

      THE FLU SHOT GOES IN YOUR FUCKING UPPER ARM, NOT YOUR VAGINA YOU FUCKING GODDAMN DUMBASS!!!!

      • Sophia

        Someone should report her Dr. to the AMA.

      • Sakonyachen

        Mrs. Sak is not a Wonketeer. I would definitely have said that.

    • Raan

      I’m surprised, I had heard that a woman’s body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.

  • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

    Time to roll out of work so I can get that drink that I’m going to toast at Noobs.

  • Um….am I the only one who didn’t know what a ‘sleeping dragon’ was? Apparently it’s a thing with protesters.
    “Often, sleeping dragons are made of cast iron, metal or plastic pipes, concrete, tar, chicken wire, duct tape, feces and chains.”
    Shit, really?

    • bubbuhh

      they distract you while teh creepin tigerz sneak up.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Feces doesn’t sound right. How would that work, exactly?

      • sw19footrub

        Food goes in, feces comes out. You can’t explain it.

        • jesterpunk

          Hey there is a network that doesnt even need food to go in for feces to come out. They have enough to build mountains.

        • therblig

          alimentary, my dear watson

    • jowgajen

      Seems like a shitty thing to do.

      Background on sleeping dragons:
      https://medium.com/homeland-security/poking-the-sleeping-dragon-fed7fffe4fc5

      • bubbuhh

        Looks like a whole lot more trouble than lightin a bag fulla dogshit n runnin away

      • sw19footrub

        Thanks! Very interesting.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Loved this bit: ‘Removing the protester(s) in a timely manner, without causing injury and without abrogating their constitutional right to free speech is a tricky and time consuming endeavor.’ I assume it’s time-consuming because they have to wait around until there’s no cameras pointed at them.

    • Sophia
  • Jamoche

    Who brings a BBQ smoker to an apocalyptic forest fire? Guy Fieri, of course:

    http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Guy-Fieri-Brings-Barbecue-Smoker-to-Santa-Rosa-12274318.php

    • ariel_gee_398

      Just be glad he didn’t rub some ashes on his face then tell people he was Barack Obama.

    • jesterpunk

      Its nice he is feeding people who are helping or lost their homes.

      • Jamoche

        It would be nicer to do it without contributing to the air pollution, like the other volunteers.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah I mean other ways of cooking may have been better to use but sometimes you use what you have available. I wont really criticize him for that though.

        • Good point. We had smoke from wildfires hanging in my neighborhood this summer in WA and it was AWFUL. Burnt everything has a very distinct odor. Not good for eyes or lungs. A BBQ smoker is really…I hate to say it….plain stupid.

          • Jamoche

            They’re recommending air masks as far south as San Jose for people at risk for breathing problems. I’ve got a friend who’s holed up at home with her high-quality air filters because even ordinary cooking smoke is a problem.

          • That’s what happened here in WA. My friend couldn’t go outdoors because she has COPD and was on O2.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Exactly. Not a huge fan of Fieri but at least he’s feeding the evacuees and volunteers. Good on him.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Wow, I didn’t know he lived near Coffey Park (apparently his home survived).

      Drone footage, posted to Facebook, of the damage at Coffey Park. It’s heartbreaking. Linky.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Heartbreaking footage.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I just saw this because someone liked it, a year after I first posted it. I reread it, and realized that it holds up. I wouldn’t change a word:

    I have been following American politics since Watergate. I’ve always found it fascinating, and highly entertaining, but there has always been a sense of detachment, because, as a Canadian, I never felt it directly affected me. Not any more. I have never felt such sickening anxiety as I feel now, at the thought of Donald Trump possibly being elected president. I have never felt such horror as I feel contemplating him, his vicious, misogynistic, racist supporters, his enablers, his surrogates, and the craven, disgusting obsequiousness of much of the media, who made his rise possible to a great degree, because he was good for ratings. And I have never felt such a burning, deep down, uncompromising hatred as I feel right now for those people – Conway, Gingrich, Comey, Hannity, Giuliani, Ryan, Chaffetz and all the rest – who are willing to put their country in the hands of a fascist demagogue for money, or for power, or for blind, rigid ideology, or for revenge, or out of pure nihilism.
    I want this to be over…but it will never be over. I feel sick at what we are witnessing. And I am not optimistic about what the future holds, even if Hillary is elected.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      What stays with me from last years election are the words of Rick Wilson: “Trump turns everything he touches into shit”. We’re all watching it unfold before our eyes

    • Sophia

      Amen

    • shivaskeeper

      Other than adding some names to the burning, deep down, uncompromising hated list, it still holds true.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Comes to that, the reality has turned out so very much WORSE.

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    Say, you know who else received less than a warm welcome from the Brits?

    • James Madison?

    • jesterpunk

      The Romans?

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      The Normans?

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Beat me to it!

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        That would be Spiny Norman and family, yes?

    • BosGrl

      Gerry Adams?

    • DainBramage

      Captain Kidd?

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      The Spanish Armada?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      The Spanish Armada?

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

      The Luftwaffe?

      • memzilla Ω

        The Luftwaffe was always given a hot welcome.

    • Doug Langley

      Chamberlain?

    • Dg Hacket

      Argentina?

      • Dg Hacket

        Falklands

    • Delu

      The EU?

    • Blanche de Shambles

      The Saxons?

    • vivian

      Everyone? Not a people known for their warmth.

    • Jenny

      Justin Gatlin?

    • Fartknocker

      Peas, because they always smash them?

    • Rags

      Blancmanges?

    • Covfefe

      The Danes

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    tired and bored – then girl walks into class with delicious fucking food.

    Dammit.

    • Go! Make friends!

      • data_ninja

        Carry emergency ketchup packets with you for situations like this!

        • BosGrl

          And a folding spork.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            The armrest in my Fusion is chock-full of sporks glommed from Taco Bells all over the Northwest. Never know when you’ll have a sudden need for a spork while driving.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        oh sure, the fat guy goes asking for food – dressed in dress shirt, slacks, and tie.

        • shivaskeeper

          It would be expected from the fat guy and therefore not weird. :)

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol, IKR?

          • shivaskeeper

            Go. Make friends. Possibly get some delicious food.

        • mancityRed6

          well, yeah, you’re gonna have to butter her up first. and then…wait, I’ve said too much.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            mmmm…. butter.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Wait, eating during class? Things have changed a lot since I was a student.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        eh, community college – people are coming from work, etc. This prof is pretty cool with it.

        (the smell is killing me!)

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Next time, you bring the space tacos for everyone except her.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol.

    • Canis Greyhame
      • RMKH

        Please, sir, I want some more…

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          MORE???
          – DJT

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Can’t be Donnie, if the kid got a first serving.

  • “No offence to the actual Funky Bunch”. -Rachel

    • BosGrl

      Ooh, forgot it was Rachel time. I was watching The West Wing and crying in my coffee…

  • Canis Greyhame

    Sheriff Prattor, doing his damnedest to preserve that Southern Heritage.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2017/10/12/louisiana-sheriff-argues-against-releasing-prisoners-you-can-work-drawing-slavery-comparisons/?utm_term=.f137069069a3
    (Louisiana sheriff argues against releasing prisoners ‘you can work,’ drawing slavery comparisons)

  • Joe Beese

    Dinner is pizza and Laphroaig.

    I’m a wealthy man.

    • BosGrl

      La frog? Is that French?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Is a Laproaig a type of dog? You should share the pizza with it if that’s the case.

      • Joe Beese

        It’s whiskey.

        • Martini Ambassador 🍸

          Dogs probably like whisky too. If you don’t yet have a dog, you should get one and then you guys could get buzzed together and talk about which dog parks are the coolest and what rain smells like and whatnot.

          • Persistent Demme

            Hey!
            I resemble that remark!

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          It’s scotch. Which tastes like Listerine, or something you would apply to a bad case of athlete’s foot, :-)

          • Joe Beese

            You know, I found its fearsome reputation (which scared me off for a long time) totally unfounded.

            It tastes like Scotland.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            My brother likes single malt. I find it has a decidedly medicinal taste and aroma, and the peatier the malt, the worse it is. I stick to good bourbon, and Canadian whiskey. Forty Creek Copper Pot Reserve is excellent, and is also much cheaper than scotch

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Cold, damp and dour?

          • Candy Matson

            I’ve never cared for scotch, reminds me of lighter fluid, or nail polish remover. Or I’m just an uncultured plebe. :)

    • Canis Greyhame

      mmm, peaty

    • mancityRed6

      Highland Park is pretty good, too. for a blend.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Today in Driving-while-Screaming:

    NPR Reporter: “Today President Trump signed an executive order to help make health insurance more affordable, but it may end up backfiring and undermining Obamacare.”

    Me: “No, no, no – that is not why he signed it. That was not his intention. REPORT THE NEWS YOU CUNTZ!1!!!11!!”

    • Delu

      He nearly forgot to sign it I heard.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Well that would have been a welcome memory lapse.

        • Delu

          If it were not for Pence.

          Damn you Pence!

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Somebody has to keep him from wandering off. Maybe an ankle alarm.
            In my dad’s last days with Alzheimer’s the nursing home had an ankle alarm on. Every time he went to far from the Nurse’s Station the alarm went off. It worked great until he filed it off with a plastic knife.

          • Timothy Watson

            How long until Secret Service starts issuing Silver Alerts?

    • Sophia

      Driving while screaming. LOL! I’m stealing that

    • shivaskeeper

      FFS,even my right leaning ABC affiliate was blasting the order as the shit it was. The only consolation right now is that any changes the various departments might propose are going to be subject to some serious scrutiny and challenges when/if they get around to proposing them.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Make health insurance more affordable? Sure, just like he started Trump University to make college more affordable.

      Just … seriously, wtf?

      • Wild Cat

        Don’t you miss that website ‘Media Whores Online’? Someone should revive it.

    • Mormos

      ive stopped listening to npr. it went bad about the same time all that koch money came flooding in.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        I hear you, but in-between the infuriating pablum is some seriously good, in-depth journalism.

      • Rags

        This. Do news right WHEN IT COUNTS and I will be back

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        NPR now receives only about 10% of its support from the Feds. Some states, counties, cities, and colleges also send support. But more and more has been privatized. Therefore corrupted.
        PBS Newshour did a similar story, and let a GOP Pundit go on and on about how Trump’s EO would make everyone’s insurance more affordable and some other lies.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      I think he just got it the wrong way around:
      ‘Today President Trump signed an executive order to undermine Obamacare, but it may end up backfiring and helping make health insurance more affordable.’

    • Suttree

      Reason #eleventy bazillion I refuse to listen to that shite anymore.

    • Wild Cat

      NPR is your enemy.

      I work in media. Media is dead. Anyone with access to exile is jumping ship. Bully for them. I’m exploring emmigration to a democratic nation.

      You’re on your own to determine reality.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      I think Big Insurance will start pressuring congress to fix this. All it really changed is the Insurance companies are no longer subsidized for selling policies. No Industry likes losing their subsidies.

  • Paperless Tiger

    I’m no monarchist, but God save the Queen from that.

    • Parakeetist
    • Joe Beese
    • Rebel Scum with permit

      She’s been around long enough to know trash when she sees it.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’d love to see her kick Trump in the ass.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          The Tower of London hasn’t been used to imprison anyone for a while- maybe HRH could tell him the British are considering it for a Trump Tower hotel.

    • bubbuhh

      She’ll save herself. She served in teh military and can see off draft dodgin trash with just an uplifted eyebrow.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Left Coast Tom

      Is he planning to make Department of Interior wear lapel pins with his picture, like North Koreans are forced to do for Kim Il Sung and Kim Jong Il?

    • bubbuhh

      Sinke want to be Victoria Jackson when he grow up

    • TJ Barke

      What a collection of freaks and criminals…

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Freaks and criminals LIBELZ!

    • shivaskeeper

      If he didn’t want to leave the pomp and ceremony of the Navy and the SEALs behind, he should have stayed in. But there is no money to be grifted in that job. This fucking guy.

      • Timothy Watson

        My understanding of special forces units (including the SEALs) is that they were excessively informal. I remember in “Black Hawk Down” the members of Delta Force hated doing the unit picture they did every year because they had to shave the beards they were allowed to grow contra to Army policy.

        • shivaskeeper

          Informal is not unprofessional. They still take pride in unit insignia and guidions. They don’t tend to use them while deployed for obvious reasons, but that does not mean they aren’t important.

          Plus the informal grooming standards apply while deployed far more than they do in garrison. Granted my experience is working with Army Special Forces and not SEALs or Delta.

    • Fartknocker

      Zinke is a fabricated name. His real last name is Neidermier. He didn’t like pledge pins on uniforms.

    • Sophia

      It’s flown so his staff know when to call in sick

      • therblig

        and when it’s down, they can get real work done.

    • cheetojeebus

      I personally announce to the world when I sit down to read wonkette by flying a flag made from my pants.

      • natoslug

        I’m more rustic. I pitch a tent and settle in.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Pants? What are pants?

    • jesterpunk
    • Persistent Demme

      Is this what the kids mean when they say, “Let your freak flag fly?”

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        No.

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Great news! I may be unemployed, but my son’s friends say I am straight chilling. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

    • shivaskeeper

      Alright then. Positive spin on it FTW.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      You’ve applied for unemployment, yes? It’s not necessarily a lot, but it helps. Not sure what it’s like in Cali.

    • Sophia

      Wow, I’m impressed.

  • bubbuhh

    Runnin frum Climate Change not an easy thing.
    https://twitter.com/CountessWEssex/status/918585483978067969

  • HazooToo

    Guys, I have worked myself up into an ANGER. Because of this happy horseshit. https://twitter.com/sallykohn/status/918575122084134912

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      He’s starting to remind me of John McCain, in that I can’t turn on a TV without seeing him yakking with some pundit.

      • HazooToo

        I just can’t seem to wrap my head around her reasoning. Somehow, the WOMEN’S MARCH needs to kiss up to the ‘dominant’ culture, and Bernie got them more attention than Maxine Waters. Nevermind that it was ALMOST COMPLETELY NEGATIVE ATTENTION, people are talking about it now! And asking for refunds! Because it turns out we DIDN’T forget all those Bernie Bros who came at us asking why we were voting with our vaginas for a corrupt criminal and then bitching like babies when they lost to her, and we also didn’t forget his rape and pedo essays, or how distracting our Social Issues (such as that silly little abortion thing) are from the important issues like whatever the fuck threatens the white working class, aside from mass shooters of course, because he’s pretty cool with the NRA, those are some fine people. What is our problem?! Why won’t we just ENGAGE with that guy and all his supporters who disagree with us on such silly little things as WHETHER OR NOT WE ARE CORPORATE SUCKING SHEEPLE?!

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Feel better now that you’ve gotten that out there?

          • HazooToo

            Yes. Yes I do. Thank you. <3

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Good to know. Gotta make sure you let off steam, but not blow the boiler. :)

    • Of course, he’s a flaming sexist who is all, “Women’s health care is totally negotiable” (though he doesn’t say it like that), and has been caught on camera holding his hand up to cover a woman’s mouth many, many times. But, let’s not quibble.

      • HazooToo

        At this point, I would rather see Trump keynoting the damn thing, because at least then we could all collectively turn our backs on him and laugh about the size of his hands right in front of his face.

    • Persistent Demme

      What a shame that an actual vagina-haver could not be found for this speech.

      • HazooToo

        I’m sure if you go look them up, you’ll find some actual vaginas speaking. Maxine Waters, for one. But even just having him there, and speaking. Why do we need advice for how to organize from the man who thinks we talk about our fucking problems too much, and not enough about white Vermont people’s problems?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • bubbuhh

      Shocked they had a contract wif Equifax. Musta gotta helluva bribe.

      • cheetojeebus

        a no fucking bid fucking contract.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Equifax is based here in Atlanta and I was warned not to work contract there. Now I see why.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Have some fat, big-eyed squirrels. They will steal your soul in the cutest way possible.
    https://twitter.com/landpsychology/status/918643484893966336

  • Fave comment from the graun piece ‘Bear in mind that our friends in the US deserve better than to have us welcome Trump like he’s a normal president.’

    Also had vegan tacos from scratch haha =^^=

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I heard that lonesome buzzer buzz.

    Verdict time. Back soon.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Illegitimum non carborundum.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That was quick. Easy decsion if they understood the instructions…

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      was just going to ask.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      Good luck!

  • Johnnymoreno

    If Baby Ivanka doesn’t get to ride in the goddamn Golden Carriage like a f**ing goddamn PRINCESS!!!–THERE’S GOING TO BE F***ING HELL TO PAY!!!–Capishe?

  • Joe Beese
    • mancityRed6

      we share the same last name, maybe. stage name? I’ve never looked.
      anyway.
      asked my dad once if we were related, he said “I hope not”
      he wasn’t a big fan.

    • Wild Cat

      I went to a daytime revival of the Texas Chainsaw Massacres in the late 1970s in NYC and Wendy O. Williams and Richard Stotts were there to catch the flick.

      No shit.

    • Ah, Wendy O. Williams was gone too soon.

    • mailman27

      Hey, that’s my guitar!!

  • Picabo
  • Picabo
  • bubbuhh
    • Suttree

      Obama didn’t grope them so they felt lonely?

  • PigDootsMolloy
    • BadKitty904

      Jebus H. Every farmer in the country should scream bloody murder.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Jesus christ what is wrong with him? https://twitter.com/ddiamond/status/918647966361116672

    • TJ Barke

      Gotta show that uppity n*clang*er who’s boss.

    • shivaskeeper

      Seems like that would take Congressional approval, not just an EO. There is no way the Congress is going to do that coming into an election cycle.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Sure, but is that going to stop him from trying? Even the credible threat that he will try will cause insurers to pull out of markets for fear of not getting paid.

        • shivaskeeper

          It won;t stop him from trying. But if he does, he gets shown once again as the powerless ass that he is.

          Then he’ll blame the Congress for not getting the 60 votes needed because something like this damn sure better be filibustered. No reconciliation till later in next year, and by then the mid term cycle should be ramping up.

          Then he’ll write another unconstitutional EO, or have one of the lackies do it for him. Then he will be sued by various State AG’s. Then he will rage at everyone for not being nice to him. Then hopefully Mueller will have just about wrapped up his investigation and we can send the shitgibbon back to where he came from (sorry NYC, you get to have him back. I know it sucks, but take one for the team here). Then there will be dancing in the streets.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I have said several times that a hopefully soon-to-be-decommissioned Rikers Island would be a perfect retirement home for the entire Trump clan.

          • shivaskeeper

            Trump clan and some extra special friends too.

          • Suttree

            It’ll give us something to do if we’re drunk and bored in Midtown.

          • shivaskeeper

            Go too it when the time comes.

      • Bangkok Taxi

        Seems he is trying to EO his way around ACA, which is law.

        • shivaskeeper

          EO’s don;t work that way though. He writes it and it will be declared illegal/unconstitutional before the ink on his signature is dry.

          If it was that easy he would have done it already and not let Congress make him look like a fool by not getting the votes to repeal.

        • Sophia

          EO’s are okay when trump does them.

          ““The difference is President Obama created programs by executive actions. This is just legalizing a freedom that’s in the First Amendment,” Mr. Paul, Kentucky Republican, said on Fox News.

          • Suttree

            Oh go jerk of in the cloak room Rand you stupid fucknugget.

    • cheetojeebus

      I hope the fuck that doesn’t happen.

    • Alan

      He can’t.

  • PigDootsMolloy

    One of Frothy’s buddies

  • DainBramage
  • Oh, of course Oliver Stone would say this:

    <a href=http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/oliver-stone-harvey-weinstein-not-easy-what-hes-going-1048425Its not easy what Harvey Weinstein’s going through.

    “I’m a believer that you wait until this thing gets to trial,” Stone said, continuing: “I believe a man shouldn’t be condemned by a vigilante system. It’s not easy what he’s going through, either. … I’ve heard horror stories on everyone in the business, so I’m not going to comment on gossip. I’ll wait and see, which is the right thing to do.”

    I’m sorry, but the director of fucking JFK, the mother of all conspiracy theory legitimizations, says WHAT, now?

    Besides, he’s fled the motherfucking country, Oliver! He’s gone. Bye-bye.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Bad link.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Yah, okay Ollie. Whatever you say.
      Jeesus, I didn’t know I could think even less of that piece of shit but, well, here we are.

    • Cat Cafe

      He’s always been a total dick.

    • Suttree

      I thought he just went to rehab in Arizona. Did that news blurb at half time get it wrong?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Today was the first shoe. Here comes the other one.

    https://twitter.com/jdawsey1/status/918647510553546752

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s not the payments to insureds, it’s the cost-sharing reduction to insurers. Without that, they’ll likely just pull out of markets, but insureds won’t understand why other than “Obamacare is failing” because their payments weren’t cut off.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      ‘Obamacare is failing! I should know because I’m the one who MADE it fail!’

    • Canis Greyhame

      Can’t snark. Just fuck him. Thousands of Americans with their lives put at risk, all for the sake of his petty spite and fragile ego. Oh no motherfuckers, he 100% owns the fallout from this shit now, along with the entire Republican Party.

      • ariel_gee_398

        There’s no reason to do this other than to destabilize markets. There’s no plausible cover at all. I hope people see that.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Yep, let’s risk crashing 1/6 of our GDP. Crashing real estate wasn’t enough.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            Won’t be just 1/6. Health care problems have a way of cascading down through the economy, and I’d posit that it’s got a nasty positive feedback effect.

  • Sophia

    Oops, he did it again

    OOPS: Rick Perry calls Puerto Rico a ‘country’ during Congressional hearing

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/oops-rick-perry-calls-puerto-rico-a-country-during-congressional-hearing/

    • Fartknocker