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Donald Trump’s week of LOL PRE-TEEN DRAMA continues! And unfortunately, it’s getting worse. Gabriel Sherman reports in Vanity Fair that Donald Trump hates everything, and specifically he hates the whole entire White House and he hates John Kelly and he hates Bob Corker and he hates Rex Tillerson and he hates EVERYBODY ELSE and wishes they were dead and also he would like a soda and two scoops of ice cream and maybe he might feel better if he sat on the potty for a few weeks.

Here are the best things we learn from Sherman’s piece about our Dear Leader Trump, who is right now probably sitting on his bed blaring Elliott Smith and refusing to let his mom (John Kelly) come in:

According to two sources familiar with the conversation, Trump vented to his longtime security chief, Keith Schiller, “I hate everyone in the White House! There are a few exceptions, but I hate them!”

Maybe he should quit being president so he doesn’t have to see their big dumb stupidhead faces anymore. God doesn’t help those who refuse to help themselves, you know.

According to “White House people,” who obviously hate his ass right back, Bob Corker’s meanness has “brought into the open” what everybody else already knows:

… that Trump is “unstable,” “losing a step,” and “unraveling.”

Great, that’s just great. Leader of the free fucking world right here.

Apparently Trump has also taken it real hard that Alabama GOP voters, who theoretically should have been stupid enough to listen to him, instead listened to their REAL president, Steve Bannon, who told them to vote for raving bigot Roy Moore instead:

“Alabama was a huge blow to his psyche,” a person close to Trump said. “He saw the cult of personality was broken.”

Indeed, if people don’t blindly love Trump because they’re morons, what else could they possibly love him for? The answer, of course, is “he is not worthy of love,” but don’t tell Donald because he is UPSET-SIES RIGHT NOW.

Sherman says Steve Bannon told Trump a while back he probably wouldn’t be impeached, but that the real danger to his presidency would be that his Cabinet would Article 25 his ass. Trump’s response?

“What’s that?”

BRB WONKETTE HAS TO GO DIE OF ROFLMAO RIGHT NOW.

The rest of Sherman’s article is the usual White House sources speculating about whether James Mattis and John Kelly have ever had “the talk” about what they would do if President Babyshits fell out of his high chair and went a-reachin’ for the nuclear codes. Totally normal presidential stuff.

Also, maybe John Kelly is going to quit-fire himself because FUCK THIS SHIT, which could be why he just instructed Trump to (BREAKING! ACHTUNG!) name his deputy Kirstjen Nielsen as the new Homeland Security chief. The only analysis of that we can offer is OH MY GOD, PLEASE NO, JOHN KELLY, YOU CANNOT QUIT, IF YOU DO WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE.

Anyway, it’s your open thread, so Wonkette out. We’ll be in our bunk(er) if you need us.

Also:

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries, servers, and all of the things are fully funded by readers like you! If you love us, please click here to fund us!

[Vanity Fair]

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  • WotsAllThisThen

    As President, he does have the power to make everyone dead.

    • FlownΩver

      After you, Dotard.

  • BadKitty904
  • memzilla Ω

    Why doesn’t Dolt 45 just do what we did in Vietnam, declare victory by Trumpnamization and leave?

    • Roadstergal

      “I am tired of winning. I hereby step down and let this beeyotch Clinton take over all the yucky work.”

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “I hate everyone in the White House! There are a few exceptions, but I hate them!”

    True story: I say the same thing every day.

    • Creepoman

      But I bet you leave out the second sentence.

      • Ill-Advised

        Just add “too.”

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I thought I hated everyone in the White House too, but it’s more that I just hate Donald, and the rest just make me headachy and irritable.

    • GoutMachine

      No, I pretty much hate them all.

      • OutOfOrbit

        mee too

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Fair play to you,I have no criticism.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Wait, I read on the internets that the WH pastry chef sekritly makes Donald-head penis cakes.

    • Roadstergal

      I hate everyone in the White House when that ‘everyone’ is Drumpf and his invited wingnut guest list of Nugents and Palins.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Naw, it’s pretty much AOT,K

    • Michael Healey

      You just need to give them a chance.

  • FlownΩver

    ..

  • Swampay

    Not only does he really seem to think he’s a king, but his idea of what a king does seems to have been shaped by Disney.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Or possibly, Coming to America, but Ivanka refuses to give him a bath.

  • GoutMachine

    C’mon, Bobby Mueller! No whammies! Big money! No whammies!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
    • beingreleased

      It looks real. That means it’s official.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        I’ll call the movers.

      • GoutMachine

        I read somewhere on the internet that Trump resigned. People are saying!

        • Creepoman

          I just read it twice! Time to break out the good Mogen David!

      • Gayer Than Thou

        It’s a little known fact of the Constitution that if a presidential resignation statement appears on the internet then it’s official no matter what.

        • Ill-Advised

          Twitter is policy, because that’s how Trump tells us what he’s thinking without being filtered by the sad fake news.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      That gave me chills.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Dave Brat on TV: We all know economic activity is generated on the supply side. The Democrats don’t even have a tax plan…

    And it’s still better than your plan.

    • BadKitty904

      AND more functional.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      That’s right, all you have to do is manufacture widgets, and they will magically sell!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Yes, we do. It’s called “don’t burn the place down”.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Maybe I missed it, but when Brat said we need tax cuts to get the economy moving again, did she ask him if Trump is lying about how great the economy is doing since election day?

      • SterWonk

        Yeah, that’s the thing — people are talking about how we need OMG MOAR JOBS!!! to get the economy going again… while we have very low unemployment, and the stock market is continuing steady growth.

        Now, admittedly, labor force participation is down somewhat, but a lot of that has to do with the baby boomers retiring. And it looks like some of the stock market is driven more by trading than investing. But still…

        • Ill-Advised

          And not getting hired because we’re oldz even if we need the money, because fucking recession in 08-09, and the Smartest Guys in the Room. Fuckers. I think I want to dig Ken Lay up and kill him again. And all his friends.

  • BadKitty904

    Fuck Trump. Y’all c’mon and dance!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2s4qfhX3Rw

    • Anna Elizabeth
      • BadKitty904

        Heya, sweetpea!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Hey, Kitty. :)

          I had a good day, the women in my complex have declared me Fashion Expert. The hottest girl in my building dolled-up for job interviews and asked for my approval. I gave her some tips for walking in heels.

          The building maintenance lady and I have plans to do some shopping, weekend-after-this. She wants a wardrobe makeover.

          • BadKitty904
          • Anna Elizabeth

            It made my week. :D

            The maintenance lady compliments me every day, so I mentioned that we should go shopping some time. :) She’s straight and married, I’m happy to make a friend. :)

          • BadKitty904

            Good deal. I’ll bet she has tips’n’tricks to share, too, tho perhaps not about style. Plus getting in good with maintenance never hurts, in my experience. She can keep an eye out for you, make sure folks are behaving…

          • Anna Elizabeth

            She already does. :) Really a nice woman, always upbeat and friendly.

      • Werewolf

        Thanks for that-I needed a pick me up today.

    • Miles Monroe

      SOMEBODY, HELP ME!

      https://youtu.be/fZR3ZfesIIw

  • bubbuhh

    MAGA = IMPEACH
    Itz like a secret code that opens up teh golden door!!!!!!
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/08aec177f6f215c4598fc20c912760c36a169a6fa3d18c0a5ef62f95f623b546.jpg

  • WotsAllThisThen

    You’d think he’d feel better after getting rid of Puerto Rico.

  • arglebargle

    The War on Christmas has been moved to the back burner. We gotta deal with the War on Halloween post haste.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/creationist-ken-ham-plans-to-ruin-halloween-by-making-kids-learn-about-jesus-in-exchange-for-candy/

    • tehbaddr

      He’ll have the most egged house in the neighborhood.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Toilet paper too or GTFO.

        • Arolpin

          Wonkette road trip! I’ll go buy a couple dozen dozen eggs. Someone needs to pick up a pallet of TP.

          • willi0000000

            get some candles to write on the windows too.

            [ soap just washes off . . . wax is damn near forever ]

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Organic free-range eggs and artisanal TP.

            Go big or go home.

  • ariel_gee_398

    The Intercept and all, I know, but some dumb white guy tried to bomb the airport in Asheville, NC last week to start a war: https://theintercept.com/2017/10/11/terrorist-donald-trump-airport-bomber-estes-asheville/

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    BRB, buying all the whisky.

  • tehbaddr

    Sweet, tasty schadenfreude, I’m enjoying the fact that this is one if his lowest moments yet, and hope for many even more lower moments!

  • Crystalclear12

    It’s funny in an ” oh God, we’re all going to die!” kinda way.
    OK, drink time.

  • ltmcdies

    I’m flashing in an episode of I’Claudius
    Caligula had been Emperor for a few years and everybody hated his guts
    He was unstable, prone to ranting, attacking friend and foe without warning
    Remind you of anyone
    Anyway … he was at the Colosum and thumbs down somebody
    The crowd BOOED… they were sick of his shit
    So Caligula says. “If Rome had one neck I’d hack it through”
    I’m thinking America has reached the “Caligula just before the Praetorian guard took him out” portion of the Trump presidency

    • cmd resistor

      That’s all quite cheerful.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      I think about the BBC’s “I Claudius” all the time these days.

      Trump would have fit right in.

      • Three Finger Salute

        He’s the emperor Gluteus Maximus.

        • Maxine Headroom

          Butts libelz!

  • beingreleased

    I don’t know if any of you have been reading the newspaper lately, but I think it’s possible we’re fucked.

    • arglebargle

      newspaper?

      • GoutMachine

        “Read?” – DJT

    • Hardly Ideal

      You’re gonna have to be more specific than that. Every day I wake up, there’s a tiny starship commander in my brain crying “Damage report! Damage report!”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      You know? I’ve been screaming about voting the court for decades, and watching this train head towards us, and now that it’s here it’s almost restful to be on the same page as everyone else for once.

      You know, except for the millennial dispensationalists, the ones who think cars can’t hit them and you gotta spite the liberals, and the people trying to tank the midterms for the libertarian whorebuck. But, the sane people.

  • armed_bears

    HE has a sad? Well excuuuuuse me, but I got a bigger one.

    • armed_bears

      That’s what she said.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Top three suggestions to cheer up Donald Trump

    1) Rip out Rose Garden, replace with putting Green
    2) More Yes Men on call
    3) Nuclear Football replaced by Nuclear Pussy Grab

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Donald Trump is not ….

    https://youtu.be/phaDyPNnIKg

    • Hardly Ideal

      As a poet once said, You love your children. It’s your one redeeming quality. That, and your cheekbones.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Are you suggesting that a) Trump loves his children (note the plural), and b) he has cheekbones?

        • Yeah pretty sure he uses his own children as commodities and they regularly plot, not only against each other, but against him too. Just like he taught them

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It’s like the worst “Lion in Winter” adaptation ever.

        • Hardly Ideal

          a) Three outta five ain’t bad, right? b) Not really. That line just sprang to mind for some reason.

  • chascates

    I sometimes think we were somehow shifted into another reality and that makes as much sense as anything.

    Hope everyone near the fires is OK!

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    What Trumpy ran into was that he used to sell tin shit whistles. Idiots like those, and so when he was asked to sell them brass shit whistles they first got confused, then they got mad, and they don’t want no fucking brass shit whistle when they liked tin whistles before. It’s just madness, they said, now Trump will never be able to sell any kind of shit whistle because this is all about irrational, red faced rage.

    • willi0000000

      makes as little sense as any other explanation . . . so it must be true!

      [ now where can i get rid of this thirty tons of whistle-shit i picked up cheap on eBay? ]

  • jesterpunk
    • armed_bears

      She makes that look sooo sexy.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I knew there was a reason why I liked her

      (besides the good acting chops and because she’s hawt)

      • TJ Barke

        She’s a haughty hottie.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      My kind of Chick!

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Smiling?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Nasty. xD

    • GoutMachine

      I’m getting a tingly feeling in some places …

      • Shanzgood

        Me, too.

    • Christopher Story

      I find this gif almost cathartic.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Go ahead JLaw, make me love you a little more than I already do.

    • TJ Barke

      She’s five months younger than me… I’m getting to the point that the new famous people are all younger than me…

      • jesterpunk

        She is 12 years younger then me. Damn now I feel old again.

        • willi0000000

          i’m not even going to do the math.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I’m so old, I don’t know who she is, and I don’t care, ’cause she’s not on my lawn

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I like the cut of her jib.

    • SterWonk

      Based on the background, I want to say Graham Norton? (I caught a few episodes here and there before or after Doctor Who.)

      Per his interview with Colbert a few weeks back, an important part of his interview process is those cocktails they’re sipping on… :-)

      • jesterpunk

        Yep, its from the Graham Norton show.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    From the VF piece: One major G.O.P. donor told me access to Trump has been cut off, and his outside calls to the White House switchboard aren’t put through to the Oval Office.

    I think we all know who’s in charge there.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4A257Dgo6Y

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Donald Trump…too stupid to realize that quitting would massively improve his poll ratings…

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Maybe if somebody made a graph…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      but it would negatively impact his bottom line

      plus, it might get him dead from his buddy Vlad

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I have to think Vlad has moved on, having learned that he can get Americans to elect literally anyone, no matter how much a moron.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          He’s got his ROI. What does he care?

  • beingreleased

    Has Trump said anything about the CA fires? Pence said that Trump signed an emergency declaration, but did anyone tell him that?

  • OutOfOrbit

    25th ammend the tRupsterfire than impeach Pencilian

  • Crystalclear12

    Usually, in the teen movies, when the bully’s power is threatened is when they go nuclear.

    Hoping Trump never watched teen movies.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Maybe he’ll just challenge CNN to a downhill ski race.

      • GoutMachine

        Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?!

        • Thiazin Red

          Two dollars?

      • Three Finger Salute

        The funny thing is, the bad guy in that movie was named Stalin. So the only way Better Off Dead becomes the next formerly fictional title to become a documentary is if Trudeau, the presumed underdog, challenges the blond, arrogant, fake Russian guy. Why not, he’s already got married to the pretty French girl…

        • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

          After that guy rubbed his testicles all over her?

    • Beautiful Soup

      “I Was a Teenage President”

  • amindofitsown

    The mean ol’ Fake News networks have quite irritated our Snowflake-in-Chief

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dfe0363829d1bb94a6112351e7619198d8a744a0eae6c9ca0cb8abc78d0ebb3b.jpg

    • heh does he really wanna go there?
      Cause I can think of a couple outlets that have been known to be faker AND more biased.

      • amindofitsown

        But see, those outlets are super duper nice to him, so hence, not fake.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Everyone: You’re treading on the First Amendment
      Liddle’ Babby Donnie: What’s that?
      Everyone: Walking upon.
      LBD: No, the other one.
      Everyone: Freedom of the press
      LBD (tweeting): The First Amendment is about freedom of the press. Not many people know that. SAD!

      • amindofitsown

        LBD: “Also, what’s an Amendment?”

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    The thought of Uncle Dotard alone, isolated and hating his life in the White House makes me want to party!
    https://youtu.be/OYVuBkvXCPg

  • CO

    Still upset about the game last night but thought this was pretty funny.
    https://i.imgur.com/JkyXL56.jpg

    • GoutMachine

      http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/srcstc.gif

      Still, it hurts. I really wanted to see the Wunderkind in the World Cup.

      • CO

        I hope they clean house

    • Changeling

      Do the players on the team call it soccer? If so, they deserved this.

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      I tried to explain to my spouse how the US could not be better at soccer then Honduaras and Panama and gave up about halfway in

  • Lizzietish81

    There’s a highly qualified lady who would LOVE your job Donald.

    Quit, declare the election void and move to Russia.

    • Crystalclear12

      That would show that mean ol’ Senator Corker!

    • jesterpunk

      That is a repeal and replace i would support.

    • h4rr4r

      I think Manafort can help with this.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      At this point I would take Pence. Sure, he would mess things up pretty badly, but he wouldn’t start a nuclear war. Sure, Teh Gayz might have a tough time buying pizza or wedding cakes, but that opens opportunity to new business owners.

      • MrTusks

        Plus he would still sign whatever bonkers tax cut they manage to pass. I honestly don’t know what they’re waiting for.

        • Ill-Advised

          I wonder if the Trump kids o buy kompromat on their party’s politicos.

    • Bad Scooter

      he’d enjoy life so much more as an oligarch. somebody tell him.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        You think he’d do any better with the Russian elite than he did with the Manhattanites? They wouldn’t want him at their parties, dropping turds in the punchbowl, any more than our richie richs do.

  • Indiepalin

    The first thing to go is the hands.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Some rando on twitter rando-splains the costumes from Raiders of the Lost Ark to the costume designer of Raiders of the Lost Ark.

    https://twitter.com/Uptomyknees/status/918000049786892288/photo/1

    • Beanz&Berryz

      He just needs to say it a few more times before she understands…

      • Creepoman

        If only he could cut her mic.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Incidentally, Deborah Landis has published some truly gorgeous books on Hollywood costume design. Which I bet we could buy on Amazon by clicking on some linky or other on this website.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    The really funny thing about Trump accusing NBC news of lying about the nuclear thing? It’s that he’s lied so much that they really could make some shit up, and his denials would mean fuck-all.

  • chascates
    • GoutMachine

      Did he say Nambia or Nambla? Hard to tell. #deathofirony

      • Lambsendbeds
      • Shanzgood

        Baconz also says the Scout leaders kept to themselves and left the boys to their own devices.

        • Arolpin

          Not as much as you would think. Once they become Boy Scouts a lot of the leadership is carried out by the older Scouts, but there are still adults there to supervise and step in if people are being unsafe. (Not a Boy Scout leader, but I do help out on a lot of Boy Scout trips.)

          • Shanzgood

            That’s not really what I meant.

    • IdRatherBeDancing

      They seem nice.

    • Shanzgood

      Baconz says his group had a girl in it, no problems.

      • Werewolf

        Israeli Scouts have been coed forever.

        • chascates

          As well as the army!

    • Christopher Story

      These are same freaks who scream “heritage, not hate.”

    • chascates
      • TJ Barke

        THAT’S NOT WHY THE COMMUNISTS WERE BAD, YOU FUCKSTICK!

    • Terri S

      The divine bar of judgement? Last time I was there, I got a wicked hangover the next morning.

      • chascates

        I bet there probably some nuts on the floor before the night ended.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I hate when that happens

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I hadn’t heard about this. Accepting girls? What happens to the Girl Scouts?

      • chascates

        I think the Girl Scouts will just become a bakery outlet.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Seriously?

          • chascates

            Doesn’t everyone like munching on Brownies?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Hey now.

          • chascates

            Sorry, I’m a victim of the times I live in.

      • Manders

        I’m pretty sure they are going to keep being the Girl Scouts, unless the BSA gets their shit together w/r/t LGBTQ rights.

      • Arolpin

        Honestly, I suspect it’s because the Girl Scouts have become too radical for some non-crazy conservatives, so they want their girls to have a scouting outlet, so why not the Boy Scouts (because the fucking god-botherer alternatives are way too crazy for anyone with an IQ above room termperature).

      • Ill-Advised

        Girl scouts did nothing interesting when I joined. I lasted three months. The boys got to shoot, start fires and put them out, receive Christmas trees when people got tires of them, and never, so far as I can recall, had to sell cookies.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      the same group that just loves them some Milo

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Boys and girls living together! Mass hysteria!

    • Suttree

      What’s this about a “divine bar”? Inquiring minds want to know.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        half price drinks, free peanuts

      • Amy!

        Cash bar. Have to pay unto Caesar.

    • TJ Barke

      Christ those fuckers are dense.

    • h4rr4r

      Does Nambia mean something else over there?

  • I didn’t know about the 25 Amendment either before this year.

    But I wasn’t running for the job it specifically talks about.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I knew its general provisions (Thanks “Air Force One” movie) but wouldn’t have been able to identify it by number.

  • bubbuhh

    Mebbe, Trump would feel better if he n Melanoma went to live in a ackshul Venezuelan jail. Venezuela feed be happy, fer shur. So, would most Murrikans, too also.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5754401a502d256c95f95f15cdab0ec68972223eed57e883f1a5288e82df079d.jpg

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    In the dark
    Where all the fevers grow
    Under the water
    Where the shark bubbles blow
    In the morning
    By your radio
    Do the walls close in to suffocate ya
    You ain’t got no friends
    And all the others they hate ya
    Does the life you been leading gotta go?

    • Machnethylsteinerbincolabird

      Yer stinkfoot. Puts a hert. On mah nose.

  • Crystalclear12

    He’s been a downward spiral so long he’ll hit lava any day now.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      magma, I think…

      • Christopher Story

        Elitist

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    I’m growing nostalgic for those days of yore when all we had to fear was
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/82d1567fcdcdbc6449c3fc58fc32fc738b9ab543bdd6ca9ea5c3523ae69a8a7c.png

    • Lizzietish81

      I miss worrying about Dan Quayle

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Hi Lizzie!

      • arglebargle

        Tomato Tomahtoe

      • Suttree

        The first Gulf War was such a simple time.

      • Ill-Advised

        Dan Quayle Can’t Run The Government is the mnemonic we used to teach new hires the BigCo. Values for orientation. Those were the days.

    • Lambsendbeds

      I don’t think Sarah Palin could have been a worse Preznit than Fanta Hitler…

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        She would’ve already quit.

        • Meccalopolis

          See? Better

    • jesterpunk
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      you were relatively safe, unless you’re a turkey

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!11!! My eyes! My eyes!

    • Chyron HR

      Before you post hideous aliens, I think we should discuss the bonus situation.

      • Meccalopolis

        Right

  • cmd resistor

    So I flipped over to see trump talking to the truck drivers. I lasted about 10 seconds but really just wanted to see the trucks. There is one big one in the background. He said there was going to be so much money to spend for all of us.

    • Christopher Story

      Didn’t Hitler also promise unprecedented prosperity?

      • cmd resistor

        Probably. Oh, he’s giving us a $500 tax credit for taking care of an elderly relative.

        • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

          $40/month? Big dollars!

  • Suttree

    Elliot Smith libelz!

  • Hardly Ideal

    Then fucking quit, already.

    • Hey now, I got until Nov 9 to win the pool.
      He is going down. He is going to be forced to resign because no wai the GOP will put up with the smear of an impeachment. Now the trick is to make sure all these Republicans suddenly seeing the light get smeared as he falls. Cause they be tryin to weasel out.
      I say we do not let them

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I’m lighting my torches of votes. Not tikis.

  • Joe Beese
  • Proud Liberal
    • I will never ever forget the time he gave an address, to congress, and the republicans sat on their hands, and Obama came to a part about SAVING CHILDREN FROM DYING and he looks at them and goes “you can clap for that, it’s a good thing!”

      • Proud Liberal

        They were awful to him! I fucking hate them all.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          It’s called racism.

  • mrFawkes
  • Persistent Demme

    OMG!
    That picture of Empress Donna Rose!
    I can’t even!

  • Jamoche

    I need some minor kitchen work. Contractor said they could come around to do an estimate and talk to me and my “spouse”. Seriously? Assume the person talking to you is the only one you need to deal with. Even if you’re talking to a woman.

    • Raan

      I assume it’s safe to say that contractor lost a sale? Or job or whatever contractors call it?

      • Jamoche

        That, plus even though I went through Lowes’ website for very small projects, their minimum job is $3500. I have a hole between two cabinets that used to contain a trash compactor. It needs a cabinet floor, since it’s already got all the sides it needs. Some 2-by-4s and plywood.

        • Shanzgood

          Pretty sure that’s not $3500 worth unless you’re getting a NASA-grade trash compactor.

          • Jamoche

            I’m trashing the trash compactor, actually. They’re useless now that we have recycling. I want to use that space for multiple bins instead, so when I dog-sit I don’t have to worry about having the plastics bag just sitting out.

        • Arolpin

          At that point I would have walked out of the Lowes, driven to the edge of the parking lot, asked for a day laborer who can do finish carpentry, and hired him for $250/flat rate. (I like hiring day laborers for small projects, even if I’m doing most of the work I can cut the time required by more than 1/2 by having another competent set of hands.)

          • Jamoche

            There aren’t any people on the edge of the parking lot – there’s just not that much construction around here – and the people *at* Lowes were very helpful and thought the website was for connecting people who need small jobs. It’s not Lowes itself, it’s something called “porch.com”.

          • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

            Is that any better than AngiesList?

          • Jamoche

            The porch.com thing? I’d never used them before, and obviously won’t now. If I wanted a $3500 or more job done I’d do my own contractor research. Thing is, if they’d been willing to do a small job like this, I might have been inclined to look them up when I have the budget to get rid of the goddamn tile countertops.

    • In part. If you mentioned you had a spouse or was a Mrs, they may be obligated to find out if spouse is in the picture because of home ownership laws.

      • Jamoche

        Except I didn’t. I am a solo female homeowner. I know, unicorns.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          That was me. The deed to my first house described me as a “spinster”. They’ve gotten rid of that language I think.

          • Shanzgood

            Holy shit!

        • Arolpin

          I think there are more solo female homeowners than solo male homeowners in the US. So, maybe not as much of a unicorn as you think.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        It seems like that would be a ways down the road. A contract would include a mechanics lien which would have to be agreed to by all of the owners. One person could be there for a preliminary estimate

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Have a woman friend there with you to Fuck his head…

      • Jamoche

        He did say “spouse” so I assume he’s open to that possibility. But I’d bet anything he was thinking “husband”.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I bet he was too… I was thinking the “spouse” term was his thinking of a politically correct (him making an eye-roll) attempt at making sure your husband was there…

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Devil’s advocate – they may have come up short on some deals scotched by domestic disagreements. Might just be ass-covering.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Don’t even get me started about car salesmen. I’m still grrrrrrr…….

      • Shanzgood

        Oh, yeah. When I went to buy my car, my EX was with me and they automatically did up all the paperwork with his name on it.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I was buying a car, with my own cash money, and the money guy tried to insist that it needed to be in my (now ex) husbands name. Because of laws. This was in 2004.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh, fuck, no!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yep. We got up and started to leave. When the manager guy came up and asked what was wrong, I simply said that I felt no need to spend my money in 1956. And if they felt a need to ignore their customers and the fucking law, then I felt no need to purchase anything from them. Also that I was going home and calling the state attorney general and the BBB.

          • Shanzgood

            I just made them re-do all the paperwork because I wanted that particular car so bad. It’s not even the one I went there for.

            They weren’t NOT going to sell it to me otherwise, they just presumed my EX (who I wasn’t even married to) was supposed to be on the loan and title as well.

            Idjits.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            My sweet reasonableness worked. They fixed the paperwork, knocked a couple of hundred off the price, and threw in a sweet new car radio. Whether that changed anything in the long run, I don’t know. But I hope so. But still, grrrrrr……

          • Jamoche

            Funny thing, whenever there’s a Judge Judy case where one side has crap credit and the other was convinced to buy them a car, odds are good it’s the woman putting up the money.

        • Arolpin

          When we bought my wife her new truck, we were very clear that even though we were both on the loan, we wanted her name first on the title. When it came in the mail, I was the only one listed. Fuckers.

          • Shanzgood

            That happened when my XH and I bought a vehicle together for the first tine ages ago. That’s also why after we got divorced the tag renewal came in his name and he didn’t do anything about it so I got the $80 citation for expired tags. Plus the trauma of getting pulled over by the cops. Nice.

      • Sophia

        One time I was looking for a new car & my son who was around 18 at the time came to a dealership with me. Dude kept talking to my son and ignoring me until my son finally said “why you looking at me”. Needless to say I did not buy my new car there.

        • Jamoche

          My local Mini dealer used to have an awesome salesguy – “oh, you totally want the sport tires and suspension!” He’s moved on, and the last time I went – after wrecking Mini #2, and driving up in a Miata, he kept showing me Countrymen (the very not-mini Mini) when I’m talking JCW (the sport package to end all sport packages).

          • Arolpin

            Call BMW of North America and tell them about that. Seriously, let them know that you buy Mini because of history and performance, you’re asking about a JCW, and this asshat is pushing Countryman. Ask how they would feel if you went in asking for an M3 and they pushed an X3 on you. Also mention that you like your Miata, but you REALLY like the Audi TT and see what happens.

          • Jamoche

            It was 4 years ago, I don’t even remember which guy it was.

      • altleftjohn

        Did they point out how handy the mirror is for fixing your makeup?

    • Jacob DiCiaula

      I’m being hired on a case basically because I’m a white guy and his former attorney is an Asian woman. Nevermind she’s the most notorious ball buster I went up against as a prosecutor.

      I do good work and the clients like I was a shooty-bang guy in the army. But, I’m probably more conciliatory then hostile and try to get good results by talking to the state.

      his now former attorney and I both laughed when I gave her the courtesy call. Yea, white male privilege!

      PS: she got paid and now this shit is in my lap, so… progress?

  • Joe Beese
    • Proud Liberal

      No thanks.

    • Wait, I thought he was all against fake news and biased reporters?

    • therblig

      a nice ass licking from shittity will set him straight.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        that’s the picture of “shit-eating smile” in the dictionary

    • jesterpunk

      One of those actual fake news channels you where talking about earlier Donny 2 Scoops.

    • Raan

      Sorry, I’m busy doing literally anything else.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Baby wants his safe space. And maybe a grundle-tonguing.

      • Remember when Obama hid behind Wonkette and refused to be interviewed by anyone besides Becca????
        Oh wait no, he went right on Fox, more than once, and pwn’d Billo’s ass.
        Sorry, for a second I confused him with the Orange Coward of Brooklyn.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          I remember when he was on FOX for an hour, unscripted, answering questions from Republicans at some townhall. Then, when the time was up, he said “let’s carry on, I’m enjoying this” because he was owning the FUCK out of them.

          FOX cut the feed.

        • Arolpin

          Orange Coward of Queens. Not that Queens did anything to deserve him (the only middle-class county in the US where the median black income is greater than the median white income).

    • Count Awesome

      Why watch slow pitch softball interview when I can watch baseball.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I will be fellated tonight on @FoxNews by @SeanHannity at 9pmE. Enjoy!

      -FTFY Liddle’ Babby Donnie

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Vodka? Check.
      Vermouth? Check.
      Weed? Check.
      Shrooms? Check.

      I’ll live bloog for the team.

      • Raan

        Truly, you are one of Wonkette’s great heroes.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        That’s very kind of you. But take no unnecessary risks. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

      • altleftjohn

        Thank you for your service.

      • Meccalopolis

        Yeah, I’d forgo the shrooms, if I were you

  • BearDeLaOursistance

    When The Donald is sad about a world that contains too many puppehs and kittehs, do friends post him Nice Time pics of cute little Putins and Deripaskas?

  • BearLeft

    Ooh, ooh, maybe he’ll hold his breath ’til he turns blue! (That would be further from orange than it would be for us regular folk.)

  • CO
    • Proud Liberal

      Shit, Congress won’t do anything. Republicans don’t govern.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Invoking this section of the 25th Amendment would require such difficult tasks as waking Ben Carson up, getting Jeff Sessions to do the right thing, and getting Rick Perry to spell his own name correctly.

      • Count Awesome

        Perry would tally the vote wrong too, also.

      • Three Finger Salute

        oops

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Imagine Bannon has been telling him all this time that the way to win was to be a gleeful sociopathic twitter troll, and if he just scares people out of his chat room he’s the king of the hill, and his kids have been yessing him to death, and now he finds out that he can lose it all if everyone thinks he’s dangerous and crazy.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Since everyone on the planet (aside from his followers) knows that Trump is a fucking moron with severe emotional problems and the IQ of a garden slug, it might just be time to make sure that the Dotard no longer has access to the nuclear codes that could, you know, destroy the fucking planet.

    You gotta hand it to the USA: when we fail, we fail YUGEST.

    • Proud Liberal

      Spectacularly!

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Ultimately!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      No half-assing for us!

      • Proud Liberal

        Fuck no. All the way!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I am pretty sure he shouldn’t even be allowed to operate the White House toaster without supervision.

  • Raan

    So, what did I miss yesterday while my phone was off? Have we annexed Canada and started mining uranium from the Grand Canyon yet?

  • susan_g

    We should all use the term, “moron” when referring to him as is obviously gets under his skin.

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      I’m fond of “a clear bag of smashed assholes in fermented garlic and dick sauce”. But…I’m the wordy type.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        You are the eloquent yet accurate type. One of the reasons we love you.

        • MasRioBravoHombre

          I’m not just funny lookin’…I’m funny.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yes indeed to the latter.

      • weighmaster

        and canned clams

        • Ill-Advised

          YOU MONSTER!!!

    • JMP

      Now, be fair; what his Secretary of State called Trump was “a fucking moron”.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Fox News had to stop using the phrase “More on this story when we return…” to introduce commercial breaks.

    • penny stock

      Idiot moron.

  • jesterpunk

    This video is cracking me up, the cover is good but his facial expressions are hilarious.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MH9FyLsfDzw

    • proudgrampa

      Damn the rain down in Africa…

    • Persistent Demme

      Nice beardy tail!

    • Arolpin

      This version sucks significantly less than the original.

  • Count Awesome

    Trump is probably throwing such temper tantrums that the ghosts of Lincoln and Kennedy moved out of the White House.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      They got tired of face palming.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        It’s hard work to face palm when both your face and palm are intangible.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The ghosts of James Buchanan and warren Harding feel perfectly at home, however.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I have never wished that I believed in ghosts before.

    • Raan

      Grant probably stayed right up until Charlottesville I, and then took off with all the ghost whiskey.

  • BillEGoatSmirk

    Aside from the idiocy with Trump wanting to eviscerate freedom of speech and freedom of the press, my favorite story of the day is the DC pharmacist who talked about delivering prescription meds to members of Congress as a convenience…including Alzheimer’s medications.

    http://www.bostonglobe.com/news/science/2017/10/11/congressional-pharmacy-has-reportedly-delivered-alzheimer-drugs-members-congress/4K2HsLB7YqLXIFDFzyHQxM/story.html#comments

    https://www.statnews.com/2017/10/11/pharmacist-congress-drug-delivery/

    • Proud Liberal

      That gives me comfort. NOT!

    • ltmcdies

      Yah I read that. Did not fill me with optimism. Those Alzheimer’s meds are a stop gap st best

  • JMP
    • Raan

      Now if only we could soak Mattis or Kelly in source gas.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    “John D. Feerick, former dean of Fordham Law School, is one of the chief architects of the 25th Amendment who shepherded it through Congress in the early 1960s.

    He told Business Insider in March that the senators who signed the provision into law specified that declaring the president unfit must rely on “reliable facts regarding the president’s physical or mental faculties,” not personal prejudice.

    “If you read the debates, it’s also clear that policy and political differences are not included, unpopularity is not included, poor judgment, incompetence, laziness, or impeachable conduct — none of that, you’ll find in the debates in the congressional record, is intended to be covered by Section IV,” Feerick said.”

    http://www.businessinsider.com/25th-amendment-how-can-you-remove-president-from-office-2017-3

    I don’t think it’s going to happen.

    • Proud Liberal

      Nope. There’s no way they can get 2/3 of the Congress to agree on anything.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Is that before or after Seoul is a burning crater?

        • Proud Liberal

          That may be one thing that could but, hell if I know. Republicans hate our country, so, who knows?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Then we’d be at war, and that stirs the loyalty loins of Republicans… Trump is safe if a war starts…

        • jowgajen

          “Our bad!”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Sounds like he’s saying we’re stuck with anything above a literal vegetative state

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yeah, that’s a fair read I think.

      • Arolpin

        Is it wrong to wish for a stroke of genius, hold the genius?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I dunno, though. It really seems like he’s lost the thread much of the time, with the weird non sequiturs and rambling sentences.

      But yeah, probably not. Because getting the assholes in congress to look out for the country’s best interest is very unlikely.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        The problem I see is not that Dampnut has the obvious issues, but that ”

        A) – which doctors will certify him unfit?

        B) – which GOPers beholden to Russia will act to confirm it?

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      They have a good case for Impeachment already. They impeached a president for lying about getting a blow job, ffs, although they didn’t remove him from office. Except the political will isn’t there. That could change if Congress flips.
      I think the only real possibility is that somehow a deal is negotiated where he agrees to leave office in exchange for a pardon for him and his family, and the ability to keep whatever assets he has (who knows what they are?) Ivanka will talk him into it, or one of his billionaire buddies will be the go between.
      He’ll do what he always does- reframe it as a victory and move on.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Extremely unlikely, absent a public or staggering breakdown.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      AE: Does Wikipedia ask you for help when it doesn’t know?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        xD No, I have just learned to Google stuffs I want to know or check.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    If we must have a toddler running the country, canwehaz the adorable smiling one pictured at the end of this article? She’s far less likely to start nuclear Armageddon.

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      Thank all gods, great and small, we have someone who’s running the country like a BUSINESS.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      She could say “Let’s nuke ‘em”, and all you’d have to do is explain that it would make children die, and mommies and daddies cry, and she’d say “I’m sorry. Let’s never do that.”

  • Thiazin Red

    What are people reading?

    I’m trying again for a good horror novel. The Grip of It was pretty disappointing, it has some good stuff in it, but then just sort of trails off and ends. So I’m giving Final Girls a try. It will be interesting to compare it to We Are All Completely Fine, which had a similar premise.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Just finished “Into that darkness” and carrying on with “The Origins of Totalitarianism”

    • jowgajen

      Intermediate Accounting, Principles of Management, Marketing Theory, and Introductory Finance. The Finance book is actually good.

      • jowgajen

        You know your life is dull when you procrastinate on your Marketing homework by doing your Finance homework.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          There’s excitement to be found in the oddest places…

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Thiazin Red.

      –“One of Wonkette’s most astute commenters”

      Shall I just see myself out, then?

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      As if reading the horror unfolding in the news headlines every day isn’t novel enough.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “First Clash” by Kenneth Macksey. It’s a combination of World War Three novel and a training manual. It’s set in the early 80s, the USSR has kicked off the war, and US VII Corps needs 24 hours to reorganize so the Canadian Brigade Group moves up to buy them those hours.

      This is the book that inspired me to build the Leopard C1 model, I had to replace my old copy and it just arrived.

      Also, re-reading “Grounded” by Chris Claremont. It’s about a female USAF Astronaut in the mid-21st Century, and the continuation of her story from his novel”First Flight”. Nicole Shea was decorated for surviving a disastrous deep space mission and leading a successful First Contact with an advanced species, but she’s also been psychologically de-certified for space flight, and this novel is about her coping with it all.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I just finished up the “Star Trek: Prey” miniseries, and have started on “The Face Of The Unknown”. Though a friend of mine got me a book called “The Genesis of Science: How The Christian Middle Ages Kicked Off The Scientific Revolution”

    • OutOfOrbit

      same as evry day, me readin this stupid mommy blog that donut allow cummentoes

  • penny stock

    I wonder if the moron had the pee hookers pee on him too! Fucking moron. Peehookers. Putin’s wil’ boy.

    • Proud Liberal

      I bet the kompromat file on ole’ Donny is pretty large now.

      • MasRioBravoHombre

        It’s hours of him and preteen children of both sexes in Russia, 2013

      • Count Awesome

        It’s probably too big for Donnie’s hands to hold.

  • Crystalclear12

    Why hasn’t it occurred to any of these Republicans they are under a time limit to get rid of Trump and replace him with another Republican?
    Because option 2 is House and Senate go blue , impeach Trump AND Pence then the Democratic Speaker becomes president.

    Are they really counting on a mid term election going their way? Historically, no, that doesn’t work.

    • proudgrampa

      It’s called hubris.

      • tomamitai

        I thought it was pronounced “Gerrymandering”?

      • Proud Liberal

        They probably know Russia is going to help them again.

    • bupkus231

      “Are they really counting on a mid term election going their way? Historically, no, that doesn’t work.”

      Only for Democrats. Republcians have historically been well-favored by mid-term elections. Of coirse, if they’re counting on that in the upcoming mid-terms, they may be surprised ( as it is, I was surprised by an “analysis” piece I read this morning that treated the idea that the Dems may regain majority in the House in 2018 as somewhat more likely than regaining the Senate. Sorry, don’t have a link… )

      • Historically, midterms are usually bad for the president’s party. 2002 was an obvious exception, but 9/11 threw everything off-balance. 1998 was also an exception because the Monica stunts backfired against the GOP. However, elections this year have swung heavily towards the Democrats. We’re talking ten-point shifts and more.

        The analysis you read is almost certainly correct. The 2018 Senate map is really bad for us, and gerrymandering breaks down after a point because it spreads a party’s support widely but thinly, so when it collapses, it’s like the breach of a levee – flooding everywhere.

    • Christopher Story

      Nancy Pelosi for President, and Hillary can be VP. Then Pelosi resigns to go back to the speakership leaving Hillary as President. Oh the sound of the collective heads exploding would be glorious.
      (Shut up, this weed is amazing)

      • proudgrampa

        Wow, man.

    • Electric Ukulele Land

      What’s the earliest Pence could ascend to the Presidency and still be constitutionally eligible to run for two full terms on his own? January 20th, 2018?

      • jowgajen

        “No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once.”

    • SilBot64

      I think they’re counting on assists from gerrymandering and keeping voting equipment vulnerable to Russian hacking.

  • Jamoche

    The sky in the south San Francisco bay is orange and smoky, and my handy light-level says it’s at 60% of normal.

    • proudgrampa

      Jeez. I am just saddened by what’s happening out there (used to live in Bay Area and Sierras).

      Do be safe…

    • Anna Elizabeth

      My friends near Monterey are OK so far, I feel for the people endangered and the ones that have already been harmed.

      • OutOfOrbit

        “dozens missing”

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I know.:(

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • proudgrampa

      Funniest part of that entire show…

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Except for the kids.

        • proudgrampa

          Oh. OK.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Just my opinion.

          • proudgrampa

            Nah. You’re fine! I just think that the Trump White House is gonna be the same.

        • tomamitai

          Und Blondi!

    • gallbladder

      Rounds and hardware courtesy of the NRA.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      This seemed extreme to me until I thought about Donald threatening horrific war on North Korea and the innocents of South Korea as well as our own troops.

    • TJ Barke

      The reds are coming…

    • TJ Barke

      Trump and his staff are all too cowardly.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        So were the Nazis. That’s why they did what they did.

        • TJ Barke

          It still takes some kind of courage to off yourself.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            It does not really when your other option is the red army of which you horrificly murdered or starved millions of.

          • TJ Barke

            Maybe. But as someone who contemplates it regularly, I gotta say it’s not something a weak willed person can really do.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Indeed.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            I guess it is hard to really say when not being in their position. Sorry to hear you have to deal with these feelings BTW. I have been through quite some hardship but suicide was never something that passed my mind as a serious option. Hope you are well.

        • Perkniticky

          I thought they were also all drugged out of their minds.

  • TJ Barke

    Got a lovely new bong, but the bowl is sad.

  • Count Awesome

    How soon until Trump does want to be exiled to Elba?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Idris Elba doesn’t deserve to be in the same room with Dotard.

    • BadKitty904

      “Unable was I ere I saw Elba.”

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        Or, so it’s still a palandrome: Unable was I ere I saw Elba, Nu?

        • BadKitty904

          Ha!

        • tomamitai

          Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t recall ever hearing Trump use any Yiddish slang. For a New Yorker, isn’t that unusual?

    • gallbladder

      You spelt “Nambia” wrong.

      • jesterpunk

        Dont you mean “Nambla”?

    • Changeling

      Maybe you could suggest Monaco to him? He might like it and they deserve each other.

    • JerryRich

      Only Antarctica will do.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Mrs Pixelz just flipped to Fox “News”. Trump is promising truckers he’s gonna fix all the potholes. AOTK!

    • jesterpunk

      With tax cuts?

    • Count Awesome

      He should join forces with OJ and find the “real killer” too, also.

    • Michael R

      He did such a good job stopping Las Vegas from happening

      “I have a message for all of you: The crime and violence that today afflicts our nation will soon come to an end. Beginning on January 20, 2017, safety will be restored,” Trump said in his speech formally accepting the Republican nomination for president.

    • proudgrampa

      BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      *Where’s my inhaler???*

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Who knew that filling potholes was a federal responsibility?

      • JerryRich

        The states were initially wholly responsible for maintenance of the Interstates, but that started to change with the Federal-Aid Highway Act of 1976 “for resurfacing, restoring, and rehabilitating those lanes on the Interstate System which have been in use for more than five years and which are not on toll roads.”.
        Subsequent acts increased the Federal participation.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      That must be the new “make the trains run on time”.

  • Michael R
  • When WaPo said tRump was “ready to tap Kirstjen Nielsen,” I thought they meant it in the Weinsteinian sense.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    This kinda reminds me of the guy who dialed the wrong number, got me on the phone and then proceeded to spend several minutes arguing with me in the hope that I would eventually agree that I was the person he was trying to call.

    https://twitter.com/Uptomyknees/status/918000049786892288

    • jesterpunk

      There are more comments mansplaining why she is wrong. They still wont give up.

    • JAKvirginia

      No shit?!!! Bwahahaha…. That’s whacked.

  • bubbuhh

    Scaramouche, Scaramouche, Will You Do The Fandango?
    Anthony Scaramucci’s buys Innertubez Domain Names for 2020 Preznitchill Run/B>
    http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/confidential/anthony-scaramucci-company-owns-mooch-2020-web-domain-article-1.3556230

    Thunderbolt and lightning, very very frightening!!!!!! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6368c3072d8a74c1e8fe4d7bf85bd906e5df1facba2dc4010e480159c6e2a602.png

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Smackdown: Eminem vs. Kid Rock y’all!

    Conservatives are already calling Emimen out as “trash,” and referring to Kid Rock as “a real artist.”

    I. Can’t. Even.

    http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/10/11/eminem-kid-rock-macomb-county-politics-215700

    • Thiazin Red

      Ugh, Team No One in that fight.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Gotta go with Eminem on this one.

        Never thought I’d have to say that.

        • amrak63

          First ICP, now Eminem.

          Who’s gonna make us say nice things about him next? William Hung?

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            I still can’t believe I have to agree with William Kristol from time to time.

      • Blanche de Shambles

        Yeah- I’m going to go with the guy who can actually rhyme, over the guy who just shouts out nonsense words and dresses in increasingly ridiculous garments made from American flags.

        • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

          Also, too: Trump supporters calling someone “white trash” is… beyond. Just beyond.

    • TJ Barke

      Kid Rock started out as a wannabe Eminem, then became “country” when he failed hard.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Yep – us Olds remember.

        Sad.

        • Christopher Story

          Oh no! Am I an olde? Because I remember…

      • Christopher Story

        White Trash rich kid with a couple hits in movies or The rap phenomena with his own movie describing how real his struggle to be number one was.
        This isn’t even a hard choice

    • jesterpunk

      Well at least the debates would be interesting. I would go with Eminem in that race though, he has actual talent.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        *nods* Kid Rock makes me want to retch. Eminem has a few chops.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        I’d LOVE to see that rap battle. Seriously.

        • jesterpunk

          That wouldn’t even be a rap battle, it would be Kid Rock standing there looking stupid and Eminem insulting him for 2 minutes.

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            Oh god – it would be glorious.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Sounds fair to me.

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          No one can Freestyle like Eminem. Nobody. That’s why he is deadly in a rap battle. His rhymes are double quick combinations with power. He reminds me of Sugar Ray Leonard.

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            That is a talent that I respect, deeply.

      • Anna Elizabeth
    • TJ Barke

      You know, I really don’t care about what someone that thinks Trump has any business being president has to say about what constitutes art.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Once again the Twitler administration is forcing me to admire people and institutions I would ordinarily be too good for.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Yeah: standing by the NFL and Eminem is not what I had envisioned at this point in my political life.

    • Roadstergal

      This looks like a job for…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVkUvmDQ3HY

    • OneYieldRegular

      To be fair, these are people who think “Painter-of-Light” Thomas Kinkade was a “real artist.”

      • Suttree

        Jon McNaughton also too.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      “Guess who’s back. Back again
      Shady’s back, phone a friend.”

      I guess since his three daughters are grown he is ready to raise his profile.

  • Mavenmaven

    If only John Kelley would allow Trump access to his porn stash again, maybe Trump would calm down.

    • Count Awesome

      Trump abhors facial hair.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Probably hasn’t had an erection in months. Any porn now would make things crueler… Maybe they should.

      • Anna Rompage

        Months? More like years….

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Who could tell?

          • Anna Rompage

            The way he’s lashing out…

            Those are the mechanisms of a man who’s entire self esteem is wrapped up in his “sex appeal” (read sexual dominance & assault) and who can’t go through with it any more otherwise risks being embarrassed by not being able to perform…

      • Skeptical_thinker

        You say that like it is a bad thing.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Thin skinned loser weakling see what?

  • Persistent Demme

    So much tragedy!

    I’m already trying to think of ways to support the beautiful Napa and Sonoma valleys when the fires are over.
    Ideas?

    (There is a soft golden glow in the sky here in San Francisco.
    Portland wonkers, did you have this when there was smoke in the air?
    I think it’s the smoke, but I’ve only been here for a year, so it might be a SF thing.)

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s the smoke. We had it a couple times this year – most recently from the fire on our beloved Columbia Gorge, but before that also too from fires in British Columbia, Canadia, about 250-300 miles away. Some days we had an orange afternoon sun you could look at directly.

    • Changeling

      “There is a soft golden glow in the sky here in San Francisco.”

      Uh-oh. “It was the most tremendous, beautiful catastrophe. Many people are saying that they’ve never seen anything like it. You can be very proud of it.”

      • Persistent Demme

        It’s amazing that something so horrible and destuctive can be so eerily beautiful.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Seventeen dead is a real accomplishment!

    • Roadstergal

      It had lightened up briefly this morning, but by mid-afternoon it was all a choking haze.

  • hanadora444

    Sorry, Donnie, but you don’t get to mope about the outcome of the Alabama primary. The results are just the latest example of the GOP craziness principle. These days the craziest, most ridiculous candidate will win. Since you yourself profited bigly from that rule last year, you shouldn’t complain when Roy Moore does the same thing.

  • Nounverb911

    “But hannity still loves me.”
    –DJT

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/918227740700102657

    • TJ Barke

      “The biggest asshole on TV still likes me!”

    • Manhattan123

      That’s like saying, “I just gave you genital warts. Enjoy”

      • Roadstergal

        Genital warts are easier to remove.

    • Bill D. Burger

      You might as well just have Barron interview you.

      With insHannity’ it would be like watching a sloppy blowjob in progress. No thanks.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Typical question will be along the lines of “Of all the fantastic and wonderful things about you, what’s the best?”

      Watching Il Douche get a tongue-bath from that slimy dipshit is the absolute opposite of enjoyable.

  • Jamoche

    Whiskey emojis
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL0XLorUMAA_HMU.jpg
    I like the way Apple pours.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Apple’s glass is a double, as a start…

      • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

        And neat.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          No hipster ice ball?

      • mancityRed6

        that’s a double?
        *puts away pint glasses*

    • Ghoti

      Wow. Microsoft isn’t even trying any longer, is it?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I think that’s the “LA smog” emoji.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So it was inventory day, I’ve been up since a quarter to three, and I’m off on a wine run. Oh, and may Donald Trump wind up living in a single wide on the outskirts of Lubbock, Texas. May his neighbors in the park shun him, may random street dogs attempt to pee on his untied off-brand sneakers, may homeless people shuffle away from him as he approaches them. May he have very bad luck finding actually safe food in various dumpsters as he attempts to feed himself.

    I truly am learning what hating a being really means.

    • OrG

      Hey, you’re supposed to be the NICE person here.

      • Changeling

        Well there were no votes involved.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I find that the rules, which I wholly agree with, encourage one’s imagination. Also, may the local minimum wage Kwik-y-Mart employee grimace with disgust at the filthy change Donald Trump puts across the counter for his 2 liter bottles of Pepsi.

        ETA – obviously, where the tangerine shitgibbon is involved, I’m not all that nice. But thank you.

    • Jamoche

      I used to live in Lubbock. We called trailers “tornado bait”.

    • JAKvirginia

      Or an empty boarded up T-Tower where he wanders the dark halls wondering where everbody went. And voices. Mysterious voices….

    • mancityRed6

      under a bridge embankment or no deal.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Sounds like he’s living in hell . . . oh wait, you said Texas. Never mind. That’s exactly what being homeless in Texas must be like.

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      What did Lubbock ever do to you?! :-p

  • Three Finger Salute

    Jimmeh gonna save us where fake president does not

    Report: Jimmy Carter is looking to discuss peace with North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un

    The really sad thing is, Kim is saner and more amenable to negotiations than the fucking president of the United States.

  • armed_bears

    This seems thin, but I’d take it:

    Bob Bauer writes: “A president who is a demagogue, whose demagoguery defines his style of political leadership, is subject for that reason to impeachment.” That’s not as shocking as one might think. He reasons:

    In Federalist No. 65, Hamilton defines an impeachable offense as one that inflicts “political” injury on a democratic society; it is not hard to imagine a chief executive who, by his or her speech, achieves this level of harm. An openly racist president would fall into this category. So would one who lied about the reasons for taking the country to war.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2017/10/11/trumps-words-can-be-the-basis-for-impeachment/?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-a%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.12d18672504b

    • Count Awesome

      Trump must hear “demi-god” instead of demagogue.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “I only like Federalists who don’t get shot.” -Trump

    • amrak63

      Lesley Gore libelz!

      • amrak63

        “It’s My Party”, her first and biggest hit, was a fine pop song, but her best song was her second-biggest hit.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qa5QBSgl2M

        • Three Finger Salute

          I’m hoping for “It’s Pooty’s Turn to Cry.”

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          That was *the* most awesome song of 1960s feminism. “You don’t own me/ don’t tie me down cos I’d never stay.” Oh Lesley!
          Courtney Act did a great cover on Australian Idol, btw.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      What this country needs is a good-sized* far-right third party. Anybody got ideas on how we can make it happen?

      *1/3 of the Republican base ought to do nicely.

  • Pat_Pending

    I’m 2 hours south of the Napa/Sonoma fires, and I’ve stayed inside due to coughing and gagging. It’s so smokey outside it looks overcast, and the air smells like a pipe. It’s supposed to get worse tonight with dry, gusty winds. This is what happens when Trump is *president.

    • mancityRed6

      a very long time ago, ’98? Mexico was on fire and the smoke made it to southern Missouri. it was weird. kinda like being in LA

    • OutOfOrbit

      well it’s your own damn fault for not giving tRumpster your vote

    • Doug Langley

      I like states that don’t catch on fire.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      I’m around there – Walnut Creek. It’s really damn smokey outside and the quality of light is eerie.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Will Il Douche show up to toss paper towels?

  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/AP_Politics/status/918236242541727744
    Someone better tell Erin Burnett, Dana Bash and Chris Cizzilia right away so they can ask Trump/Bannon etc. their thoughts on this.

    • Belasaurius

      and yet the major story over at CNN is why Hillz waited five days before making a statement, liberal media, my ass

    • Vincent Ricola

      I’m going to need an immediate statement.

    • Opiwan

      MUST DISAVOW! DiSAvOwwwwwwwWWWWWWWWWWW!

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Oh, god- don’t use “tentacles” or “touched” in reference to Harvey Weinstein. Just don’t.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Too late. The real story is how long it took Bannon to shit on Weinstein.

  • David
    • mancityRed6

      that would be a twist that M Night Shamalamadingdong wouldn’t see coming.

    • tomamitai

      Insufferable asshole LIBELZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!

  • Flashman

    Is Trump pounding the table and demanding to see Fegelein yet?

    • Werewolf

      “Mein Führer, Steiner ist….”

    • Blanche de Shambles

      “Anyone who has not had an underage Russian hooker pee on them in the Moscow Ritz-Carlton can leave this room right now.”

  • Nounverb911

    I’m sure they won’t miss you and by everyone do you mean Putin and Kim Jung Un too, also?
    https://twitter.com/charliekirk11/status/918080057066819586

    • jesterpunk

      Who?

      • Nounverb911

        No one, just another hate-tweeter.

      • bupkus231

        Just another “conservative” youngster, who thinks he can make a career on the rightwing gravy train

    • Count Awesome

      He can always watch those strongman and lumberjack skills competitions on ESPN

      • jesterpunk

        He can watch the USFL, wait damn Trump bankrupted them.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Nein! He must leave der #BearSnacks alone!

    • gallbladder

      Pseudonym for Kirk Cameron?

      • Nounverb911

        For a second I read his name as Circle Jerk.

    • Blanche de Shambles

      Like…at home, too?

    • Blackest Noobs

      mmmmmmmmmmhhhh can you smell the freedom?
      i do indeed love it when people tell me we are free and then same people say i HAVE TO DO something cuz of course they’re the same thing.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I wonder how often Charlie Kirk was dropped on his head as a child?

      • tomamitai

        Not enough.

    • Opiwan

      So if I don’t get off my couch at home for the anthem, Stupid McFakeOutrage up there won’t watch the NFL? CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!

      (Hey, he said EVERY PERSON!)

    • Perkniticky

      Promise? Because I would attend one and refuse to stand, just to deny you your pleasure.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Bullshit. And he knows we know it.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      We won’t miss you.

    • Parakeetist

      Oh, shut the fuck up, Charlie.

    • my feet are normal

      Wait, why do they have to stand for Persia? It hasn’t even existed for a really long time.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Many sides, many sides have good and bad people. -CNN

    CNN follows Weinstein victim interview by welcoming Ken Starr — who was fired from Baylor University for campus rape cover-up

    Hey CNN, have you finished your compare-and-contrast essay on the humanity of Jews yet? I want to see an equal number of citations from Anne Frank and Richard Spencer!

    http://img.usmagazine.com/article-leads-horizontal/disgusting-f1560f86-6dde-4d68-9398-6aeb43dc32ef.jpg

  • Nounverb911
    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Storage is cheap these days – – get more! You know you’re going to need it.

    • Joe Beese

      I said it earlier today but I feel like repeating it…

      Ronan Farrow reported that sixteen Weinstein Co. executives admitted knowing about Harvey.

      Ya think BOB might have known??

      • It was not about emails so who would pay attention?

      • Changeling

        Hell, I read some internet gossip and I knew.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Other presidents–normal presidents–could shrug off criticism or being portrayed in a bad light because they had duties to perform and an agenda to advance. Since Trump’s entire existence is based on how he looks, he is constitutionally incapable of ignoring criticism of any kind. He won the election by lobbing insults at all his opponents, but now that he’s the president and not a candidate, it’s impossible for him to lob insults at everyone who criticizes him. No matter how hard he tries.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And they weren’t whiney pussies…

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      This one comment is better than Cillizza’s whole article on CNN about the same thing.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        My head keeps thinking Clitzilla when I see Cillizza…

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • jesterpunk
      • Anna Elizabeth

        This one is new to me but I’m digging it.:)

        • jesterpunk

          Its sped up a little for some reason on all of the youtube videos. But its from 2004 when Shrub was running for a second term.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I think I’ll check Amazon digital for the original track.

    • mancityRed6

      he’s aight, but he’s no Little Wyte
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL6ygypcMgA&t=32s

      • Joe Beese

        I’m not familiar with Mr. Wyte’s work. But if he’s ever come up with a couplet as ingeniously rhymed as “heard of a mind / as perverted as mine”, I’ll be impressed.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Not bad. :)

    • Joe Beese

      Why do all rappers do that thing with their hands?

      They’re usually not emphasizing the beat. So what’s the point?

      Is it conducive to flow or something?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Maybe the flow thing. I find myself doing it a bit when I dance.

      • mancityRed6

        I think it’s like people who talk with their hands.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Imaginary theremin.

  • Manhattan123

    Has he even once referenced the terrible fires in California yet or is he too busy with important presidenting by sniping on Twitter at ESPN anchors and Bob Corker? “Those losers didn’t vote for me, fuck ’em!”

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Beanz&Berryz

      They did a very good job of it…

      • To be fair, it was not hard. The GOP has been doing it for decades.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          But this was a multi-front assault in some theaters many of us didn’t even know existed…

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Russian: And what *is* the most indefatigable force in the world?

      Goon: Solar?

      Russian: No.

      Goon: Tide power?

      Russian: No.

      Goon: I give up.

      Russian: Mwahahahahahahaha! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!

    • sg77

      Yeah. So much for Winning The Cold War.

    • CeeQ

      In America, the stupid really does kill you.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    He surrounds himself with dumbassed sycophants and general-purpose wingnut morons, and then complains about the company? He’s a fucking failure, but his titanic ego makes it impossible for him to see it. Things will continue to get worse until Mueller shows up with the handcuffs (or a butterfly net.)

    • OutOfOrbit

      mueller will come too late

  • Bill D. Burger
    • therblig

      not growth, dithguthting

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Joe Beese
    • gallbladder

      Fucking peerless morons, the both of them.

    • mackafritz

      Dumber and Dumber

    • Count Awesome

      “The Walking Dead” is really reaching for zombie cameos.

      • mackafritz

        Zombies wouldn’t want to eat these brains.

        • Fifth-and-a-Half Element

          What brains?

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      There is nothing – NOTHING – I can say about how I feel looking at that picture that wouldn’t violate the Rules.

    • Jgb979

      The wilting snowflake needs his safe space

    • Tonight at 9 FNC proudly Presents the Coward in Charge and his Bootlicker!
      See Sean Hannity suck taint hairs!
      See DJT pat his head!
      You’ll love it!

    • Duke

      Will Hannity actually suck Trump’s dick live on TeeVee?

      Will he need help finding it?

      • Joe Beese

        With those long red ties, Trump couldn’t advertise his sense of phallic inadequacy more short of wearing a sandwich board reading “I DO TOO HAVE A BIG DICK”.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Care to guess where Donnie is gonna stick that thumb? And then Lumpy will suck on it.

    • tomamitai

      Looks like Hannity is standing back and slouching a little to make Cheetolini look taller.

    • wow you can really see both their guts in this shot. Also, why doe’s Sean’s flag pin have a weird symbol on it?

    • Great post-mortem snapshot of Hannity.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      This should go into the dictionary to illustrate the phrase “empty suit.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      They could balance the fucking budget if they made it pay-per-view.

    • aureolaborealis

      I would pay extra for a simul-cam on Two-Scoops’ face for the duration.

      They could also charge us, say, $500 a pop to actuate a cattle prod shoved up his ass. It could go to paying off all medical and student loan debt in the country. The remainder could be used to fund some kind of Civilian Conservation Corps for a couple hundred years.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • PigDootsMolloy

    Via the BBC

    North Korea ‘hackers steal US-South Korea war plans

    Hackers from North Korea are reported to have stolen a large cache of military documents from South Korea, including a plan to assassinate North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un.
    Rhee Cheol-hee, a South Korean lawmaker, said the information was from his country’s defence ministry.
    The compromised documents include wartime contingency plans drawn up by the US and South Korea.
    They also include reports to the allies’ senior commanders.
    The South Korean defence ministry has so far refused to comment about the allegation.
    Plans for the South’s special forces were reportedly accessed, along with information on significant power plants and military facilities in the South.
    Mr Rhee belongs to South Korea’s ruling party, and sits on its parliament’s defence committee. He said some 235 gigabytes of military documents had been stolen from the Defence Integrated Data Centre, and that 80% of them have yet to be identified.
    The hack took place in September last year. In May, South Korea said a large amount of data had been stolen and that North Korea may have instigated the cyber attack – but gave no details of what was taken.
    North Korea denied the claim.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-41565281

    • so much winning

      • Wonky Magoo

        I know I’M sick of it!

    • aktlib101

      Heh, oops !

    • janecita

      For a country with so little technology, North Koreans are sure good at hacking! Kind of ironic.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Well, Kim has got to be at least 400 pounds by now. Probably doesn’t get out of bed much or leave dad’s basement.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Computers and servers holding super-sensitive military information … on the internet. Did Equifax design their security system?

  • Count Awesome

    Trump’s cult of personality must be based on having a personality like orange sherbet.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Excuse me, uh, but: “his psyche”? This is Donald Trump. We’re talking about someone who appears to display a neurological orientation system that’s less developed than that of a planarian.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Planarian Master Race libelz.

    • Duke

      Planarian? Do they put strainers on their heads?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Planarian 9 from Outer Space.

        • Duke

          Oh, yeah. Thanks!

    • therblig

      it’s no good, we can’t beat them…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7-MLNlaS-o

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      There’s no psyche – there’s nothing there but id.

  • Blackest Noobs

    well, you know, this Donald J. Trump, yeah, he’s no Barrack Obama, that’s for goddamn sure, yep yep.

    Donald’s got the insecurities of a bratty little boy while Barrack was actually a MAN, ACTED LIKE A MAN, IS A MAN.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      and a warm, smart, good one at that…

    • altleftjohn

      Best president of my lifetime, and Truman was in office when I was born.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I deeply respect Eisenhower. The story where he pulls out the statement in his pocket he’s drafted if d-day fails. He says it’s entirely on him. That’s a leader.

        I’ve definitely disagreed with prior officials on policy. I’ve never questioned their competency or temperament. And yet, here we are. Great

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Is THE man.

  • Nounverb911

    Paging Donnie Drumpf
    Paging Donnie Drumpf

    https://twitter.com/MerriamWebster/status/918226348665131012

    • is that what Alex was trying to warn us about in code? Blidenwhatever= blatherskite?
      I have decided that Alex is one of the illuminati hence why he knows so much about them. He is sent to make us think it is /other/ people you see

    • OutOfOrbit

      me dobalina mr bob dobalina

  • Jgb979

    He could quit today and make this all go away…..

    He could just be a dumb dick baby idiot again till the Russian mafia comes for their collection.

    JOHN KELLEY YOU CAN NOT QUIT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES JESUS

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Why must you ruin a beautiful thing like Rimming? xD

      • Bill D. Burger

        In Hannity’s case it’s more a matter of ‘feeding’! ;)

        Ewww…I did not say that. ☜(゚ヮ゚☜)

        • Anna Elizabeth

          OMGLOL

  • Doug Langley

    Well, I just gave my 2 weeks notice to my staffing agency. I’m leaving the bank on the 27th. The manager still hasn’t made up her mind how long it’s supposed to be. I imagine the 27th anyway, but this way I feel like I’m taking matters into my own hands.

    Today had some good moments and a few lousy moments. The stress is so awful I’m afraid it could put me in the hospital. It’s happened before, a couple jobs so painful that my body went into spasms and hello, ambulance.

    Still don’t have a new job lined up, whatever. At the moment, gotta protect my sanity.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Good to be tending yourself!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      ~hugs~

      • Doug Langley

        Thanks.

    • :hugs:
      Mine own job has been doing that of late to me. Migraines, depression, sigh. And the worst of it is, it is not fucking rocket science. But for some reason we can’t ask other people do do anything at all…even though they can all ask us to do things so they can avoid having to do their fucking jobs.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      So sorry. I know that job has been very tough physically and mentally both.

      • Doug Langley

        Actually, physically I’m in surprisingly good shape. Lost weight like crazy, but almost all fat. Much trimmer around waist. Haven’t gone to gym in months, but still feel pretty solid. I guess that’s what a physically active job will do for you. Also eating as well as possible and sleeping 9 hours each night.

    • Raan

      Hey man, sometimes when you’re on an immortal horse that refuses to get out of the stream, you have to change.

      I’m sure you’ll find something better. From what we’ve heard here, it’d be hard for it to be worse.

      • Doug Langley

        This is true. Even if I end up flipping burgers at the MickeyD’s across the street, at least I won’t be burning through a ton of gas.

  • TootsStansbury

    Will Friday night’s news dump be “You won’t have Donald Tramp to kick around anymore because this is my first and last press conference. WAH! You can’t fire me, I quit!”? I can dream for a minute.

    • Three Finger Salute

      He could be morphing into Nixon. Last I heard, he just tweeted congratulations to Justin Trudeau on becoming the next prime minister of Canada.

      • tomamitai

        Has he drunkenly prayed with Kissinger yet, or made Elvis a DEA agent?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Beanz&Berryz

      Trump is certainly a demicock…

    • OutOfOrbit

      tRumpsterfire too stupid to fit that definition

    • Doug Langley

      But . .. but, does Donnie really believe them untrue?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        He doesn’t care – if saying something seems advantageous, he’ll say it. And say the opposite the next day, if that seems advantageous.
        The brain-dead lackwits who believe him both times are the real problem.

        • tomamitai

          “Next day”? He’ll say it in the next sentence!

    • Manhattan123

      I also like this Menckenism: “As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last
      and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

      Or, as Rex said, a fucking moron.

  • Charon_69

    “It is frankly disgusting the press is able to write whatever it wants to write.”

    • Nounverb911

      “It is frankly disgusting the president is able to say whatever he wants to say.”
      /FIFY

      • Raan

        “It is frankly disgusting.” – Melania Trump

        • therblig

          “More and more people are discussing Frank Lee” – DJT, up from his nap

          • BearDeLaOursistance

            Needz moar Rip Van Winkle. Or chloroform. In the anesthetically correct dose (read: non-harmful), because Rules.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Melania was also overheard uttering the Tillerson insult in a conversation with Sophie Trudeau earlier today:

          “You get to go home to bed with prince. I have to be fucking this moron.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Sophie heard the same thing from Ivanka. So she’s wondering which moron Ivanka is talking about.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Tell Sophie it’s dad. Jared is a prototype Coin-Operated Boy who the rabbi got a little overzealous with during the bris.

            Melania: “Give him to me, Sophia. We do ‘Russian reversal’ like I give Vladimir Poutine.”
            Sophie: “No.”
            Ivanka: “NO, I WANT HIM! DADDY SAID I COULD HAVE A SHINY PONY!”
            Sophie: “No!”
            Bannon: “Y’know… (hic) come to think of it, that little Cucknadian shit is kinda hot.”
            Sophie: “JUSTIN! GET IN THE CAR!”

  • Nounverb911
    • ha ha, so funny.

      • Changeling

        In Russia joke laugh at you.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          In Russia you laugh at sign posted on bus stop by Putin Transportation Ministry, or else…..

    • tomamitai

      Instead of selling them the rope with which they will hang us, we are selling them the ad space they use to incite our hanging!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • DrBigHead

    Was listening to some background radio in a colleague’s office today. Some news show on NPR. Heard several trump supporters expressing their anger over how Trump is treated by then “media”. I was struck by the level of rage expressed by nearly all of the people interviewed. With at least this subset of the population, Trump’s attacks on the media are clearly paying off. And considering the influence that this group appears to have on the elected republicans, I am terrified.

    • TootsStansbury

      I’ve always thought if the shitbirds ever come home to roost with all the treason and crimes going on; the trumplings are going to have an epic, scary and violent existential crisis or at least meltdown. I hope the Republic survives it.

      • DrBigHead

        Don’t know what worries more –what you describe or the possibility he won’t be brought down and he will be able to effectively kill anything that remains of a free press.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      These are the same people who voted for him because he wasn’t afraid to insult people and make up demeaning names for them. Because he wasn’t politically correct. It ends up they are thin skinned little snowflakes.

    • Three Finger Salute

      The fact that NPR, PBS, CNN, CBS, etc. have been WWE-level shills for “ratings” since Reagan killed the Fairness Doctrine doesn’t help either.

      What the corporate news industry won’t ever tell its audience

      In the old Soviet days, there were two state-sponsored papers set up by the government as controlled opposition to keep the public divided against each other and provide the cover of disinfo for what the government was really up to. The papers were named Izvestia, or The News, and the more well-known Pravda, or The Truth.

      For some time, the people were divided into camps of Izvestia supporters and Pravda supporters, but eventually they grew wise to the Politburo’s real agenda. Even so, they did not utter a word about their knowledge of the plan and continued buying the papers like good citizens so as to avoid any appearance of being “dissidents.”

      The way the papers maintained an appearance of “opposition” was to ensure that stories which were reported in Pravda were not reported in Izvestia and vice versa, leading to “accusations” that the other was “covering something up” or lying through omission.

      But this tactic ended up supplying the perfect evidence of, well, “truth” about the overall dishonesty of the Soviet propaganda complex altogether — and led to a famous saying reflecting the cynicism of the people about the corrupt government’s willingness to represent their interests, and the papers’ willingness to give fair and accurate reporting to their audience:

      There is no Pravda in Izvestia, and there is no Izvestia in Pravda.

      Or more precisely:

      There is no Truth in the News, and there is no News in the Truth.

      Wouldn’t you know it, Reagan himself let the Soviets take over America.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
  • Ellie

    Oh, I love those overalls on that sweet child! She reminds me of my youngest 40 years ago. Gave me something to smile about as I read the fresh hell that is the news.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      She is getting soooo big. I know they do that when you feed them, but wow!

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I have been catching up on Ken Burns’s excellent Vietnam War documentary, The most distrubing part is them talking about how Nixon undermined the peace process in Vietnam by getting the South Vietnamese to pull out in exchange for a bettter deal to win the 1968 election. I alwyas knew Nixon was a asshole but Holy Fukcing Shit! The blood of hundreds of Americans and South and North Vietnamese and even Laoian and Cambodians is on his hands. Whats sobering is the war could have been ended in 1968 but Nixon may have extended it by five years. I will concede that it may have dragged on anyway. Political stupidity was on both sides sadly, but still its a amazing what if.

    • Three Finger Salute

      See also: Reagan and Iran, 1980

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Is there proof that Reagan did that through? I mena i can believe he would do that.

        • Three Finger Salute

          It’s where the origin of the phrase October Surprise came from.

          http://www.nytimes.com/1991/04/15/world/new-reports-say-1980-reagan-campaign-tried-to-delay-hostage-release.html

          As many of the people in the administration are dead and we have a GOP who will never investigate anything related to their messiah, we’ll never know definitively for sure.

          • Alexander Stallwitz

            More proof that the GOP will put party over country. Donny and Russia is just the latest.

        • tomamitai

          Personally, I doubt Reagan knew, but I have no trouble believing that Bush Sr. did. The duplicitous nature of the intelligence community is part of the reason it’s going to be so hard to get people to believe Trump’s campaign colluded with the Russians if proof of it comes from them. That may be the main reason Mueller seems to be going after Trump’s finances, shady shit there may show up in the account books.

    • georgiaburning

      LBJ was very pissed but there wasn’t enough evidence at the time showing that Nixon was directly involved.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        According to the documentary, LBJ had it all on tape but didn’t want to burn his sources.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Theres audio tape of LBJ talking to Dirksen frustated he cant do anything. Its particular heart wretching.

  • jesterpunk

    You stupid racist Orange pig fucker, you can give Vegas $1 million for the shooting but want to loan Puerto Rico money?

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/918201878479073280

    Go Fuck Yourself with a cactus.

  • SadDemInTex

    This was a FB post today of a friend who is an amazing writer (hey Wonkette read this!)

    Years ago (god, I’m old!) I had a friend who was young and just coming out, and scared in all the ways young gay people are at that time of their lives. There was a very forbidding, overly pretentious bar in Chelsea at that time called “G” that was a very popular place for the “see and be seen” crowd. I hated the place, but my young friend really wanted to go because he’d been once before and had a fleeting experience with a bartender that he was hoping to repeat. It was a sad afternoon for me, because it made me remember myself 20 years before when I’d first arrived in NYC. I saw myself in him. I remembered going to a bar on the Upper West Side called Cahoots, with an older friend who was amused and touched by how naive I was, and who told me of his own similar experience in Boston at Buddy’s years before when he had been my age.

    This is one of the little snippets of gay life that persist down through the generations somehow. One way or another, each of us ends up being a sort of shepherd for an afternoon, or a year, or longer, for someone who is facing the frightening leap. Because it’s necessary, and because someone else did it for us. We pay if forward, as the saying goes. It’s a little vignette that any gay person from any generation would recognize, and the recurrent themes are longing for love, struggling with shame, and defiance of the capricious limits our perverted puritan sewer drain of a culture places upon us.

    Anyway, I was writing a lot in those days, and I had a few little things published here and there in places that will never be remembered. But this was one, and I thought I’d share it for #NationalComingOutDay. It’s not even really that good, but it makes me remember a time when, after 20 years of being out, after two failed relationships that I had hoped would last a lifetime, after having lost dear friends to AIDS, and after having failed and lived a bit, I thought I knew something about how to be myself. Now, of course, it’s been almost another 20 years, and I see naivete in every word and idea of this poem, but I find something sort of sweet and comforting about that. This process of coming out for gay people who have grown up with the degree of shame and damage we have, is a process that never ends. Living is coming out. Every moment. But you have to do it. Until the end of your life.

    UNIVERSAL LONGING AT G

    Pierrot in jeans and a tight tee shirt,
    stands hiding in a corner,
    of a slick Chelsea bar,
    remembers a night when,
    bold for a moment,
    he spoke to beauty,
    and beauty answered with kindness.

    He longs to speak again,
    but fears,
    that kindness is not repeated
    for such a one as he…
    stands in a close corner,
    dreams himself back,
    hums old songs–

    My days, I wake alone, and alone,
    and always alone;
    I do not count my days.
    But nights are souvenirs
    of detail, recall,
    like hope always going.
    Nights loving as early on,
    artless nights, without conscience,
    before not speaking for fear,
    for absence, for scorn,
    nights seeking to hold our lives in grace,
    when we knew ourselves,
    gorgeous anomalies of creation,
    fundamental, scarce, needed.

    A life without another,
    is abomination.
    A life spent silent,
    is not a life.
    We have not stopped in our dying;
    My love, we must speak now.

    Pierrot wills himself,
    to courage, to speak himself into being,
    until he is seen…until,
    as if beyond the present truth,
    of this place, of this corner,
    past knowing, in a sunlit expanse of the world,
    where innocence is preserved,
    with pain, hand in hand,
    and the only possible answer,
    to any question is a kiss,
    he is seen, heard, loved.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      ~hugs~ Beautiful, thank you. :)

    • BearDeLaOursistance

      Upfist Cloning Powers, ACTIVATE!

    • Beautiful. Both the recollection and the poem. I especially like the thought, “Living is coming out.” It really isn’t a process that takes a day. I remember thinking, once, that I’d come out and, you know, that would be it. Man, was I naive.

      • SadDemInTex

        He is so inspiring. I’m so sad he doesn’t have a partner.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • gallbladder

      Gee, I wonder how THAT happened?

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Ik, r? Why, it’s simply inexplicable!

    • aktlib101

      Impeach the MOFO Dolt

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I am so surprised. Stunned, even.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Latest episode of “No Shit, Sherlock” with Chris Cilizza

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/11/politics/donald-trump-media-tweet/index.html

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      But you keep on writing about Hillary, you putz. She’s the real threat.

    • jesterpunk

      Hey Cilizza do you want to tell us again how Hillary would have been worse somehow?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Is this because Hillary wasn’t quick enough to condemn Harvey Weinstein?

    • Ling Ling

      Thanks, but I’m not going to look.

    • my feet are normal
    • TootsStansbury

      Chris Cilizza upon being dragged off by the anti establishment, barbaric hordes: “Civilization wouldn’t have collapsed if it weren’t for Hillary and her lack of smiling, calculation, emails, shrillness and pant suits.”. As he lay dying upon the smoking heaps “At least this was done by a man. A white man. A Leader.”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Way too much credit. “No shit, Sheetrock” would be more apt.

  • NYT publishes a partial list of nostalgia bands who have new albums out.

    I’m listening to the new OMD right now and if it weren’t for my clothes and the fact that I’m not a fucking teenager, I’d swear it was 1985 again.

  • Joe Beese

    Brave new world.

    Artificial intelligence has proven to be a dab hand at recognizing what’s going on in photos and videos, but the datasets it’s usually trained on are pretty genteel. Not so for Pornhub, which announced today that it’s using machine learning to automatically catalog its videos.

    The site is starting small, deploying facial recognition software that will detect 10,000 individual porn stars and tag them in footage. (Usually this information is provided by uploaders and viewers, who will still play a part by verifying the software’s choices.) It plans to scan all 5 million of its videos “within the next year,” and then move onto more complicated territory: using the software to identify the specific categories videos belong to, like “public” and “blonde.”

    https://www.theverge.com/2017/10/11/16459646/pornhub-machine-learning-ai-video-tagging

  • Nounverb911
    • Count Awesome

      I am now convinced Melania is not a real person, but rather a cardboard cutout Trump can take photos with.

      • Ling Ling

        More human than human…

        • Raan

          Probably either a Nexus 3 or 4.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And do other things with too…

      • TootsStansbury

        And keep the same stone faced expression when he blows a greasy burnt steak fart.

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • Bill D. Burger

    The Queen is letting it be known that she would prefer not to meet Trump on any visit to Britian. Wonder why? Let’s ask her.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL4dN3SVAAAa-Ud.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • DrBigHead

      I thought all the liberals were supporting Weinstein. How’d he lose his job??

    • Raan

      Mueller ain’t forgotten about that motherfucker.

  • janecita

    Husband is working late, so instead of going to the gym, I’m going to drink wine.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • CO

    This picture is going to be used in ads next year
    https://twitter.com/mark_abadi/status/918237312890400768

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Raan

      Is it -100?

      I’m suggesting that he charged people for rooms they didn’t use.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      True Story ~ My dad is an Elite member of the Hilton Grand Vacation programs. Basically, they are member only hotels – all suites with full kitchens so like condos. As a matter of fact, my mom and I are in Myrtle Beach right now, using a reservation that my brother flaked on. While we were in the hot tub, just having conversation, as you do, one of the guys started asking my mom questions. He had just joined and this was his first trip. My parents have been members for a decade.
      So as my mom tells it, their home base is Vegas. Actually, my parents were there when the massacre happened, but on the Boulevard, not the Strip. My mom has other stories about that incident. But the story today was about how Hilton bought out part of the Trump Hotel. Maintenance fees have to be paid to Hilton every Jaunuary and my dad had thought nothing of the reassignment to the Trump Hotel in Vegas. That is, until he got this huge bill. So while they were in Vegas, my parents got assigned to another hotel and dropped it like it’s hot.
      How this came about is Hilton is trying to move from the casinos. The only hotel they have in Vegas with a casino is the Flamingo.
      http://www.hiltongrandvacations.com/nevada/hgvc-trump/
      https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g45963-d1022061-r254482755-Trump_International_Hotel_Las_Vegas-Las_Vegas_Nevada.html

  • Nounverb911
    • Will they be made with real Boy Scouts?

    • Bill D. Burger

      All fuckin’ right! I’m feelin’ it. Wait…that has a special meaning here in Colorado:

      [Boy Scout Cookie, also known more commonly as “BSC,” is an evenly balanced hybrid (50% indica/50% sativa) strain that is a phenotype of the infamous Girl Scout Cookies strain. This bud can be slightly indica dominant, too, at times, depending of course on breeder practices. This tasty bud is beloved for its sweet flavor that is very much like an actual cookie, with hints of nutty vanilla and butter. The aroma is very similar, but with a pungent twist of sweet skunk and earthy nuts. The Boy Scout Cookie high is very uplifting and relaxed in nature, filling both your mind and body with happy bliss.]

      https://cdn.allbud.com/image/upload/s–4sehZMwF–/c_limit,h_600,w_800/v1439713447/feature/flower/swinging-bridges/21597/boy-scout-cookie.jpg

      • Raan

        Can I get it cooked into Thin Mints?

      • tomamitai

        Wow, it sounds like teh weed has really changed since the 70’s, when I did my tokin’. That stuff tasted and smelled like a brush fire.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Smelled like a skunk too.

    • Christopher Story

      Me too! But unironically

  • bluicebank

    “I hate everyone in the White House.”

    I never thought I’d agree with Trump on anything.

    End times, people.

    • Raan

      Stopped clock, et cetera.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The Donna Rose pic is the absolute highlight of my day. Looking so forward to meeting her in person in a week and a day!

  • http://komonews.com/news/nation-world/former-trump-adviser-steve-bannon-had-ties-to-harvey-weinstein

    Weinstein and Bannon were in a cozy “working” relationship? That stubble must have chafed Weinstein’s balls something fierce.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rnvl5CiMzY

    She’s prettier than I’ll ever be
    You got Yourself a Beauty Queen-yeah
    but there’s One thing I gotta say
    She can Love you good
    But I can Fuck you Betta!

  • Nounverb911
  • aktlib101

    Heh, those 1%ers…
    “The NFL stood by African American players … until its money was threatened
    For a while the world’s most lucrative league supported its players in the face of hostility from Donald Trump. Then the NFL looked at its bottom line”
    https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2017/oct/11/nfl-protests-african-american-players

    “The business of being an NFL owner is such a good one that no man or woman who holds a team among their possessions dares do anything to kill their golden goose. A decade ago, the league’s most valuable team – the Dallas Cowboys – was estimated by Forbes to be worth $1.6bn, and a third of the teams had values below $1bn. Today, the least valuable franchise is worth $1.6bn while Dallas’s worth has soared to nearly $5bn.”

    “This is, of course, phony wealth, claimed only on the open market. The figures are buttressed with stadium palaces built on the backs of taxpayers, huge television deals and private marketing agreements sold against the logos of the teams themselves. With the teams’ outlandish values tied to an image the owners do everything to protect, it’s no wonder Dallas’s Jerry Jones said on Sunday he will bench any player who “disrespects the flag” by kneeling during the anthem.”

    “There was good PR in standing against Trump two weeks ago, but the more the president turned his fire on the NFL – and as TV ratings slid – the more those bars wobbled on the value charts. Whether she meant to or not ESPN’s Jemele Hill drilled straight into the NFL’s most-sensitive nerve this week when she tweeted the best way to get to Jones was through the advertisers.”

    “So when Jones snapped, Hill dared mention the advertisers and Trump tweeted about changing the league’s tax-exempt status, the NFL wanted nothing more to do with their players taking a public stand for social justice. It didn’t matter that Trump’s suggestion the league should lose a tax-exempt status was outdated by two years (the NFL gave that up in 2015). Any threat toward the owners’ sweet public money deals is enough to drop the iron fist upon dissent.”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Greenbacks Matter

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Jones is a Turd. Nothing to see here. The players have a Union. No owner wants another strike. Anyone who believes that the NFL is losing money doesn’t remember the “Replacelent Football League.”

    • tomamitai

      How will benching their best players put money in the bank?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Blackest Noobs

      so who are the they in the above pic?

      • Nounverb911

        Mostly foreigners.

      • thanks for asking.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Pittsburgh Penguins. NHL Stanley Cup Champions the last two years.

        • Blackest Noobs

          ahhhhh so same Penquins, different Prez, and expressions are different….yeah….i see it now

        • Raan

          For once, I’m glad the Lighting didn’t win.

        • Blackest Noobs

          where’s Trump’s jersey? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    • Thiazin Red

      I wonder how many gallons of booze have been drunk out of it?

      • Blackest Noobs

        maybe one day when we legalize it for the whole country they could smoke out of it…..that would be a massive bowl hit.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Well, I guess that means a Canadian team has to win in 2018.

    • DrBigHead

      No cooler trophy the world.

    • janecita

      Melania is like a fucking inanimate object. She has the personality of a tree trunk.

      • Blackest Noobs

        now, now, she might just be zen’ing all this shit out. i aint saying she’s a smart cookie ( cuz bitch lied about GOING (NOT GOING) to college) but i don’t think she’s a piece of plastic…i.e fake.

        i mean for fuck’s sake, SHE would make a better President than HIM.

        • janecita

          Please, she sounds like a total airhead!

          • Blackest Noobs

            yet you never ever seen her lose her shit like her husband does.
            like when Trump_wife01 was blabbering about she is 1st Lady, Melania came back with a nice quip.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Ponderosa Pine libelz!

      • hendenburg2

        Sexy Lamp. No Post-It required

      • Alan

        Botox paralysis.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Blackhawks?

  • Nounverb911
    • DainBramage

      More like he’d toss matches.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Moist towelettes, for the burns.

    • bluicebank

      No. People are depressed enough out there already.

  • Panika MCD

    Tsarina Short Fingers doesn’t listen to Elliott Smith. he listens to proper boy bands like Poison, GunsN’Roses, Nickelback and Creed.

    • ariel_gee_398

      He strikes me as a Meatloaf fan.

      • Panika MCD

        what is the thing he would do anything for and what will he absolutely not do for it?

        • ariel_gee_398

          He will do anything to avoid taking responsibility for his mistakes but he won’t do work?

        • janecita

          He will absolutely not get drunk on the day of his mom’s funeral,make a fool of himself, and overturn her casket, wait, too late.
          Meatloaf is a fucking loser.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          But I’ll never forget the way you feel right now
          Oh no, no way
          And I would do anything for love
          Oh I would do anything for love
          I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that
          No, I won’t do that

      • WomanInThePersistence

        REO Speedwagon libelz!

        https://youtu.be/TGwCP2hX2FM

    • Three Finger Salute

      I hate to say it but… Nickelback libelz.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/l0K4cVwAhynm7EcDK/giphy.gif

      Then again, he didn’t say they were great. They’re no Hip. He’s just being polite to his countrymen. He won’t even badmouth the other Justin.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Nah. He’s an Emo Nazi. NSFW
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFSfEw6gYsU

    • Raan

      Wait, which one is that again?

      • Panika MCD

        which one is what?

        • Raan

          Tsarina Short Fingers.

          • Panika MCD

            Trump. Steve Bannon is Rasputin to Trump’s Tsarina Alexandra.

          • Raan

            Kid Rock. Kid Rock and Ted Nugent.

            And formerly Springsteen, before he realized that it’s really, really easy to con Republicans.

    • Arolpin

      I know Axl is a fat asshole, but GnR fucking rocked for a couple years. Appetite for Destruction is still one of my all time favorites.

      • Panika MCD

        doesn’t mean that Trump won’t listen to “November Rain” on repeat when he has a sad.

  • schmannity

    It is a measure of a man’s narcissism and ego mania that the Presidency of the United States, the most powerful magnet of yes men in the universe, does not provide enough White House ass kissing for Baby Huey Trump.

    • Three Finger Salute

      He’s not satisfied unless he’s the Pope, the King of England, God, and the winner of American Idol.

      • jesterpunk

        Should we tell him he is the winner of American Idiot?

        • ObscurePopCultureReference

          Hey, no need to drag Green Day into this!

          • jesterpunk
          • ObscurePopCultureReference

            Fair enough, then! Also, MTV is still a thing? Who knew?

          • jesterpunk

            Its MTV Europe they still play music.Also this from Global Citizen this year

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYMm72RiBss

            I am not a part of a Donald Trump America

            Now everybody do the propaganda

            And sing along to the age of paranoia

          • ObscurePopCultureReference

            All the more reason to love Billie Joe….

          • jesterpunk

            That whole set at global citizen was amazing and for a really good cause. He isnt afraid to say what he thinks about the Orange fucking moron in the White House.

          • Three Finger Salute

            He is pushing 50 and still fuckable as all get-out.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Yes, he is.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Well, TBH, Europe still has music. USA has whatever the fuck Katie Perry and Miley Cyrus can be described as.

          • jesterpunk

            Neither are bad and have some good songs. Not something I would listen to much but its not horrible.

          • ObscurePopCultureReference

            Does it really count as an “age of paranoia”, if the fear is widespread and well justified? Discuss among yourselves.

          • jesterpunk

            No it doesnt.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Better yet, have Billie re-release Nimrod with the stickers planted on photos of Trump. I guarantee you he’s never heard the word before and would think it means he’s a bona fide inspiration for a rock star now.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Billy Joe Approves! And sez “Welcome to subliminal mind fuck America!”
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee_uujKuJMI

      • Villago Delenda Est

        He wants people to mob McDonald’s for him like they did for Rick and Morty.

      • schmannity

        Soon to be tweeting about Little Pope Francis

      • Raan

        What if we make him the first man to walk on Mars without a suit?

        • Covfefe

          We’ll let him have a long red tie.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      It is a measure of something similar that he’s rich, powerful, married a model and is thoroughly miserable, full of red hot anger.

  • TundraGrifter

    “Losing a step?” Fool never had a step.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I thought he was skipping, at least until he came to the stairwell and panics. *popcorn*

    • There is a Ms. Step. She’s the one in stilettos, standing next to an orange turd.

      • TundraGrifter

        FTW !!1!!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Cunt.

    • Doug Langley

      Um – what? Are police getting bonuses to police better?

      • Raan

        They’re probably just going to use it for military equipment that can’t possibly help in that kind of attack.

    • JoeChristmas

      To donate to the NRA for Eddie the Eagle commercials?

  • goonemeritus

    I would probably feel bad for Trump if only I could stop laughing at his total incompetence.

  • Nounverb911
  • i’m sure executive ordering some crap to further handicap the ACA will make your shiveled little soul harder than your shriveled little dick ever was. so go for it.

    or i don’t know, listen to morrissey.

  • HazooToo

    Getting really hard to read the entire day’s news.

  • Poly_Ester

    The better off test — Would the US be better off if djt spent the next 3+ years golfing? I think that the answwer is yes!

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      I think we’d be better off if he finished a round down by one stroke.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I think the US would be better off if he spent the next 3+ years doing kitchen work in Federal medium security prison.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Just dishes though, right? I don’t want that fucker anywhere near food. You never know where his hands have been.

        • cmd resistor

          He can either clean the trap or the floors.

  • Nounverb911
  • Woohoo! Got my new HDMI switcher, so watching MSNBC on my TV instead of the laptop screen

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Fuck ’em. The GOP, the nation, the world. Let Trump destroy all of it. The only goddamned Justice I shall ever see anyway.

  • Begin Anew Day

    I know people who had to bury their dead children.

    Those people can be, accurately, termed ‘sad’.

    Whenever donnie uses the term ‘sad’ he pollutes the english language, he shits in the nest, he spits on people who work hard to put the right words in the best order.

    Yo donnie! It ain’t too late for you to go to a DC junior college and take an English As A Second Language class. You got Functional Gibberish cinched, it’s time to learn some English!

  • Ωbjectifier

    Article 25 is when they take you to a farm upstate where you can run and play to your heart’s content.

    • janecita

      Just like they did to “Old Yeller?”

      • Ωbjectifier

        Ayup.

      • WIDTAP

        …and Shane.

      • Catstro

        Speaking of, I noticed that Kroger sells Old Yeller brand dog food. Did the marketing team not watch the movie through to the end or what?

    • Raan

      I thought it was where they take you down to Florida so you can go fishing in your swimming pool.

      • Ωbjectifier

        That’s for syphlitic mob bosses.
        Wait a minute…

  • BMW

    I fear we are full-on Nixon in summer of ’74 levels of paranoid bonkers here…somebody remind General Haig Kelly to hide his pills.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Sure it’s not the Berlin bunker phase?
      Steiner!!!

  • memzilla Ω
    • Changeling

      I’d buy that.

  • janecita

    District Attorney Cy Vance, is a royal piece of shit! What an asshole! And he is running unopposed. Where are all those progressive candidates that Sanders keeps on promising us?

  • HazooToo

    You guys are getting really bleak, I think I’m going to start posting things now.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/244060674a34f25f34edf311fba95cd5f9fe5a296468055b845774bce14da5c0.png

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      What do you want for your birthday, Eeyore?

      • HazooToo

        An impeachment.

    • TJ Barke

      Aww geez, Dan…

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    So, I got an actual response from my letter to Jeff Flake asking him how long he and his Republican colleagues were going to allow this shitshow to continue. He said that he understands that I don’t support Trump’s political agenda, but sees no compelling reason why a racist, pathological liar, nepotist, sexual predator, grifter, misogynist, homophobe, germaphobe, paranoid, obese, vindictive, thin-skinned, sociopathic imbecile with access to the nuclear codes should be removed from office. There you have you have it folks…this, from one of the Republicans vaunted by the press as being among Trump’s harshest critics.

    In reality, Flake’s real only real quibble with Trump is that he is not a “true conservative”, which in translation means that he’s a little too obvious about his racism and greed. If anyone still clings to the idea that Republicans will ever do anything about Trump, you should seek professional help. Flake ended by thanking me for my input and telling me to feel free to contact him “any time”… FROM THE SMOKING H-BOMB CRATER THAT USED TO BE YOUR HOUSE, ONCE THE RADIATION LEVEL SUBSIDES. Thanks, motherfucker. We’re doomed.

    • Blackest Noobs

      two things
      1) yep, that was obvious. Republicans will not be the saviors of this sinking ship. they rather just let the ship sink…it’s how Republicans roll.
      2) We’ve always been doomed just most people are deluded in believing the opposite….doom has been and always will be our end result.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Thanks for making me feel better.

        • Blackest Noobs

          glad to help. now stop worrying about shit you have no control over. this will pass.

          fret over the things you CAN do something about. getting yourself tied in knots over this will just get you tied in knots, get me, Buddy?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yes, master.

          • Blackest Noobs

            now do my bidding and go have some fun!

            seriously…decompress…do fun…enjoy life.

          • Raan
          • TJ Barke

            So Sans has read Camus?

      • Raan
    • Three Finger Salute
    • mancityRed6

      it’s an (R) in the white house with an (R) congress (even if they can’t even pass gas), they really just do not give a shit about anything else. until it’s time to campaign again.

    • Panika MCD

      srsly? Cornyn’s response to my letter was, “aren’t you glad I helped pass all these bills to collect intelligence on the Russians?”

    • ariel_gee_398

      I saw a thing on the Facebook earlier from Robert Reich’s alleged former Republican Congresscritter friend. He said the Senate is loathe to do anything until they get tax reform passed, lest they go back to voters “empty handed” for 2018, and are just hoping he doesn’t launch a nuke first. I’ll wait while you piece your exploded head back together.

  • HazooToo
  • Nounverb911
    • m3bosha

      No offense Justin, but I have a feeling that wasn’t really what was going through your head during the meeting.

      • Doug Langley

        I’m guessing “Oh mah Gawd, what have you done to this room??”

        • Panika MCD

          he wore the wrong socks. he should have worn his rainbow socks with Islamic writing.

          • Three Finger Salute

            And risk 1812 redux?

          • Panika MCD

            like Tsarina Von Clownstick would know what they meant.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Sometimes you just say the polite thing to say…

    • Panika MCD

      que?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Argyle socks…

    • Three Finger Salute

      What’s the tweety/facebooky thing say? Screenshot plz?

    • Delu

      Come on Trudeau, you don’t have to be polite, give it to us straight.

      What REALLY happened in there?

    • natoslug

      Excellent choice having the women sit far, far away from Dotard Tinynubbins.

  • Ilgattomorte

    I am really pissed at Rex Tillerson for calling Trump a Moron. How dare he!
    As a lifelong Moron (Local 676) I am deeply insulted. There is no way Trump is a Moron. I’ve never seen him at any of the meetings and he has never been recorded on any of the voting roles. He’s definitely not one of us.

    It’s obvious that Trump has a medical problem. The man is sick. Look, I’m just a loyal, hard working Moron, but if you ask me, Trump Has a terminal case of Cranius Phallosis. That’s right! He’s a Dickhead. I hate those guys. They beat us every year at the annual softball game because they cheat. Fuck them. Look at the facts. A moron would never call for a network’s license to be revoked. We’re not smart enough. That’s just a Dickhead move.

    So leave us alone. We Morons aren’t hurting anyone. Let the Dickheads claim him. Fuck those guys.

  • BMW
    • HazooToo

      I am ok with this.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Can’t possibly be worse.

        • HazooToo

          The man can rhyme words with orange. Multiple words. He’s already smarter than Trump.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Now that I’ve finished “Orphan Black”, I haz a sad because I’ll never see Helena again.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/10c03ab9524b5a95cb82b1bc59cc886e41e7f3271f28cee7bf4187d4420fe0ee.gif

    • C4TWOMAN

      Do what I did, sestra….binge on rewatching.

    • Ricky Gay

      I like her hairs

      • Ricky Gay

        You want cow bebbe? Mebbe horse bebbe.

  • HazooToo
    • Raan

      It’s clearly the answer.

      • No. The Answer is 42

        • Raan

          The Answer sounds like a party.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I’ve got 10 fingers in my mouth right now….

    • Wee Mousie

      My personal answer is 18 fingers of Canadian Club with a beer chaser, but only by repute, I have no personal memory of it.

      • HazooToo

        … I drank an entire two liter of Diet Coke in half an hour and then belched uncontrollably for another thirty minutes…

    • Johnatx

      Does a thumb count? How about a big toe?

      • HazooToo

        Whoooo has my tooooe, who has it?

  • bookish

    Aneurism. With votes.

  • Panika MCD

    JJP TV: UPDATE

    Jazzy had another meet-and-greet today. if this one is fruitful, she will have two little boys and a back yard as well as some cats and some neighbor dogs to play with. *fingers crossed*

    • *Toes crossed* Legs are crossed, but that’s because i have to pee

      • OutOfOrbit

        R U in that mysterious “library corner” you spoke of?

    • HazooToo

      Socializing is very important for the little ones. Even the furry little ones.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Fingers and toeses.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Go JJP, Go!

  • Jacob DiCiaula

    Flying my white trash flag high… got a supplemental report in a case stating a person of interest successfully concealed meth in the barrel of a shotgun during a moonshine warrant search.

    I try not to laugh and fail

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      If it was successfully hidden, how did it get into the report?
      Also, how was the ‘shine?

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        That’d be the supplemental part, since it came in later report after charges were threatened.

        As for the booze, they pitched watermelon and strawberry, which sound good to me

        • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

          ah. not involved in these law things, so my supplementals usually have more to do with diet.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Did that person live in a trailer? Sorry, I’m just hoping to win the bingo.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        Said report noted it was a detached, mobile property :)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Ah hah! I win! Woo-hoo!

  • HazooToo
  • SomeBigRedDog

    Sounds like it’s about time for President Dump to flounce. That will show us.

  • laineypc

    What’s 25th Amendment? If you have to ask, you qualify for getting your ass discharged from its duty.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      25th Amendment, technically…

      • laineypc

        fixed, TY

  • HazooToo
    • thewalkindude

      Another one I frequently encountered over 18 years was-
      “911, where is your emergency?”
      “My house”
      “Where is your house?”
      “(Town)”
      “Where in (Town)?”
      “(Street)”
      “Where on(Street)?”….

      • HazooToo

        How could you expect me to remember such silly things as where I live?!

  • Picabo
  • Nounverb911
    • Blackest Noobs

      aaaaaannnnnnd FUCK YOU, Mike Pence, you fucking robot.

      • Changeling

        You motherfucker.

        • Blackest Noobs

          now, now that’s his wife you’re talking about….

  • Nounverb911
    • TJ Barke

      RUSSIA ISN’T COMMUNIST ANYMORE.

  • Nounverb911
  • Changeling

    Re: the Harvey Weinstein thing
    If you’ve ever come across Hollywood gossip on the internet you’ve read stories about Weinstein. It really was the worst kept secret. What makes it complicated is that they’re usually “casting coach” stories, that he promised to advance actresses’ careers in exchange for favours. And that he did. Now I’m sure he is an all around creep and did many other things, but just the amount of these stories before “anyone knew” (everyone knew) suggests to me that at least some are true. It would also explain why a lot of Hollywood people seem to have a hard time coming forward about what they know. It’s a good thing his victims now feel safe to come out, but if there is truth to the casting coach stories I wish that would come out too (the names don’t need to), so that phenomenon could be discussed too. But what actress is going to come out and say her career is based on accepting his advances? They’re victims too, but their position is tricky. And it makes the whole situation volatile for a lot of people.

    • HazooToo

      That’s why women are so goddamn mad. They’re disbelieved, or slut shamed into staying quiet, while everyone brushes off the ones who do complain, because “price of doing business in __________”.

      • “Also, they shouldn’t have been dressed like a hooker in the first place!”

        “I was trying out for Leaving Las Vegas!”

    • The casting couch is real. Every story is real. Just because the victims (not only women, but I’d concede that it has likely mostly been women), got something out of the arrangement doesn’t mitigate the attack. There’s really nothing tricky about it. They were told that they would have to be violated to get a job. It’s as unacceptable in Hollywood as it would be at KFC.

      (Not trying to attack, here. I know you agree. I’m just venting, because all of this has me hella pissed off. The amount of “I AM FOR SHOCKED!” surrounding this is just … unbelievable.)

  • HazooToo

    Is it illegal? Is a dressing room technically a public space? This started out as funny, but now I kinda wanna know. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/761e5aedab0930f9bc8e4c78bbd588c9e944e0bb2c192f32f7ed372744a67279.png

    • Blackest Noobs

      the answer is yes, yes you do sound like a lawyer.

      • Certainly sounds like a Hollywood producer, anyway.

        • Wee Mousie

          Or a “well-known” “beloved” “Christian” actor.

          • Blackest Noobs

            wait which one?

          • AOT, K.

          • Bobathonic

            Trump’s.

          • Blackest Noobs

            still dunno…some christian actor jerked off in a dressing room? eh?

          • Blackest Noobs

            kevin sorbo?

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            AOT, K

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I’m going to say it would probably fall under indecent exposure and/or open and gross lewdness statutes.

    • mancityRed6

      the answer to most everything is “don’t get caught”

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Good question there. Just asking for a friend.

  • Nounverb911

    Well, this seemed to have happened in NYC
    https://twitter.com/balleralert/status/917546665459949568
    Warning: Language and pushing, shoving and a little kicking…

    • PigDootsMolloy

      A law student at NYU apparently. Seems he was rather unrepentant, but is now “getting help”

      • Persistent Demme

        NYU must be so proud!

        (He has freedom of speech, and NYU has the freedom to cut him loose.)

    • TJ Barke

      What America looks like right now…

    • Persistent Demme

      When it comes to doing the right thing, people in NYC are ferocious.
      I hope his drunk ass gets canned, or expelled, or whatever.

      Sometimes, I love, (and miss) NY.

      • natoslug

        Expelled? When you’re too much of an asshole for NY, they ship you to New Jersey? Or Buffalo?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Start spreading the news
      I’m leaving today
      I want to be a part of it
      New York, New York

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Slim Shady has risen considerably in my estimation, FWIW.

    • mancityRed6

      one of my exes went to high school with him, said he freestyled between classes.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        His next task is to fuck up Kid Rock bad.

        • mancityRed6

          ooh, ooh, can I help? please! please! please! please!

        • BloviateMe

          Those two actually had a song together back in the day, titled “Fuck Off,” I believe.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Before Kid Rock became a washed up Republican shitsucker.

          • BloviateMe

            Yeah. Sucks, I used to dig on Hank Jr. and Kid Rock both, and now they suck balls.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I see Hank Jr. is back on Monday night football. Coincidence? I think not. I hope he’s off the fucking pills, at least.

          • BloviateMe

            Yeah that pissed me off, I didn’t miss him.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        There is no place more Midwestern than where he grew up. Go figure.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Maybe technically, but Detroit? I just watched a doc about the Funk Brothers, the Motown studio cats back in the day. Fucking amazing.

        • mancityRed6

          don’t forget, Michigan gave us Iggy Pop

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Speaking of which, of friend of mine knew Ig in high school. James Osterberg. She’s got exactly the same upper midwest accent that he does.

          • Ωbjectifier

            And the MC5

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And Aretha!

          • Johnatx

            Kick out the jams!

          • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

            Not be That Guy, but also too, Ted Nugent.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            YOU MONSTER!

          • mancityRed6

            nope, he dropped fully formed out of a sewer pipe. in Florida. or something.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          My husband is from Detroit, and I have met people from Ohio and Pennsylvania. I question this.

    • jowgajen

      Whether you ever liked him or not you could never deny that the man has talent.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’ve never disliked Em…just not a huge hip hop fan. But yeah, he’s the real deal.

        • jowgajen

          Let’s say I don’t always agree with hip hop themes (including MM). But I enjoy talent when I hear it, provided I’m not also freaking out that you are promoting violence and/or the horrible treatment of others.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I think that’s what kind of turned me off the genre…but then again I’m a big old-school country music fan, and you can’t get much more violent or misogynistic than that.

          • jowgajen

            Which is why bluegrass is better. ;)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’ll share my mixed feelings about bluegrass with you some other time.

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            We were just talkin’ good, old-school country music this morning, and wondering why it all went so bad.

            We decided that happened when country lost its sense of humor.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Yep. And got all fuckin’ goody-two-shoes and patriotic. Hardcore country back in the day, under the respectable veneer the Grand Ol Opry tried to put on it, was pretty subversive shit.

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            Yeah: great lyrics, classic songwriting, incredible vocals, emotional realness and wicked humor.

            Then they got all prissy and self-righteous.

            Leave that to the hardcores ; )

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Read some stories about Buck Owens and Don Rich on the road. They would make Keith Richards blush.

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            Oh – I’ve spent enough time on the road myself; bad behavior favors no genre.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Ask my ex-girlfriend who moved back to Paducah Kentucky about the quilters. (she runs the local hospital OR as a charge nurse.)
            Evidently these otherwise sweet ladies get all liquored up and cause all kinds of mayhem. Ending up in the surgical suite.

          • Cat Cafe

            My then-13-year-old son was totally into hip hop, so I gamely said we would listen together in the car. Which led to conversations like this:
            Son: Mom, what do you mean, it’s offensive (“BITCH STOP CALLING ME” blaring in the background)
            Me: Well, you see, the man and the lady went out on a date, and they had a very nice time, and now, even though she might be pregnant, he’s not interested in her any more, but instead of just telling her nicely, he’s just yelling at her to stop calling him and calling her bad names.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Lots of people are calling out 45, but SS didn’t pull any punches.

      Damn.

  • notaten

    I would totally buy the ensemble Miss Donna Rose is wearing in that picture, for myself. I may need a larger size.

  • HazooToo
  • Wee Mousie
  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Well, the big Rocky Mountain Gun Show that was scheduled for this coming weekend at one of the local casinos has been canceled. The casino operators felt it would not be “appropriate”.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Wussies.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Casinos? Guns? What could go wrong?

      Seriously, good for them.

    • mancityRed6

      some of the billboards around here never take their “gun show” ads down, they just change the dates.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      My local meth dealer cancelled his charity dinomite pot luck. Might have been for other reasons though.

  • Three Finger Salute

    “Dolly who? Dolly the Llama? I thought Dolly was a sheep! America First is very good, very incredible! That guy is a Chinese hoax!”

    Dalai Lama calls Trump’s “America First” agenda “not nice,” joins Pope Francis as latest spiritual leader to condemn environmental policies

    “No, Your Holiness, he isn’t nice. We all know he isn’t nice. But I have to be nice to him, otherwise we’ll all end up in the nothingness.” -Trudeau

    • Cat Cafe

      No, he pronounces it mockingly, shaking his head back and forth, grinning in a 1940s mocking “Indian” accent a la Peter Sellers, “the DAAAHHHHLAYYYYY LAMAHHHHH, he calls himself, not many people know that, and [laughs even more mockingly] I don’t know about you, but I don’t see any humps! You know because llamas have humps! Most people think camels, which are beautiful animals, beautiful, my dear dear friends the Saudis, I invented their camels, but it’s llamas! And you know how they all talk, “lama rama ding dong,” that’s their language, most people don’t know that.”

  • ariel_gee_398

    Turns out Seb Gorka is just as qualified to offer advice on sexual assault prevention as he is foreign policy. https://twitter.com/SebGorka/status/917957476712112128

    • HazooToo

      So, not at all. Cool.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      So Seb and Pence are aspirational rapists?

    • Michael R
    • UnsaltedSinner

      I guess they don’t consider not sexually assaulting women you’re alone with an option.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Weird. huh?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      And I thought MRAs were mostly a younger demographic.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Why on earth would you think that?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          It just seems, from what I’ve read here, that they’re mostly 20-something millennial douchebags.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            The ones that use the term, well, maybe. But the attitude has been around for many, many, many years.

    • BloviateMe

      “Not even wrong.”

    • Delu

      Seb do you know of ANYONE else that should have followed those rules?

      …..Trump maybe?

    • Changeling

      If Weinstein had obeyed ISIS rules for meeting with the opposite sex, none of those poor women…

    • William

      Hannity is all over the Weinstein story, conveniently forgetting that he recently had Bill (Loofah) O’Reilly on as a guest.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      If Weinstein had obeyed Pence’s rules he would have been a failure and nobody would have covered for him.

    • Amy!

      Think! If those women had been wearing burkas and escorted by their male owners, they never would have been assaulted by Harvey Weinstein!

      Vive l’Islam!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I get that you’re snarking. And that some Muslim societies are extremely sexist. But let’s not over simplify like a common Trump. Please?

        • Amy!

          Edited to (im?)properly (mis?)attribute.

    • If you have no money or power, but only the looks of a Gorka or a Weinstein, you’re safe.

    • PigDootsMolloy
  • HazooToo
  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre
    • Edith Prickly
      • Delu

        There are such things as Borons too.

        Just one letter away from morons, yet a world of difference.

        • Jeffery Campbell

          And at least with that you get 20 Mule Team Borax.

      • amrak63

        You mean ma-ROONs, doncha?

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        Or maroons.

    • Delu

      His base is just like him.

      It’s either they don’t know that Puerto Rico is not a country, but part of America, or that they think that Carmen Yulin Cruz is somehow a President instead of a Mayor.

      Or both, likely both.

      Nice touch on that Moron Lisa there…..

      • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

        The JPG file name is DAWK! A classic Don Martin reaction shot.

  • Delu

    It’s not even been a year at that.

    Presidenting is more complicated and harder than you thought eh Donald?

  • BloviateMe

    Yeah no worries about kids and education, none at all, why do you ask?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/29d9c1edfe88b46818a1ec23207b107e27205463b598655427fb123368c1ce71.jpg

  • William
  • bluicebank

    In other conservative butthurt news, (in my old stompin’ grounds):

    Republican candidate for Palm Springs City Council “heartbroken” over accusations that’s he is not a liberal.

    Palm Springs City Council candidate Henry Hampton has responded to critics who say he is insufficiently liberal to lead the city.

    Hampton, a Republican real estate agent hoping to join the non-partisan city council, took to Facebook this week to address what he described as relentless attacks coming largely from people online.

    In a lengthy post, he said he is as “heartbroken as everyone else to see how poisoned and divided the political discourse in country has become” and then criticized locals for suggesting that he agrees with President Donald Trump’s views on immigration and minorities.

    (Note: Palm Springs used to be a Republican bastion, despite its tolerance of the LGBT community, but then later most of California repented of its evil ways. And now it’s “How dare you sir, besmirch a Republican for not being a liberal! Good day, sir. I said good day!”)

    http://www.desertsun.com/story/news/local/palm-springs/2017/10/11/palm-springs-council-candidate-henry-hampton-responds-attacks-hes-too-conservative/754886001/

  • Bad Scooter
  • Three Finger Salute

    Too soon to talk about gun control? ‘Course it’s too soon, it’s always too soon. We don’t want to unnecessarily politicize a tragedy. This is just the price we pay for freedom!

    Grandfather is shot and killed by his four-year-old grandson while on hunting trip in rural North Carolina

    If the grandfather had allowed his four-year-old grandson to drive a car or operate heavy machinery, he’d be under arrest. But you’re never too young to learn how to use a deadly weapon! America!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Like that’s not going to destroy the kid.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        That is the worst part. That poor child.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Just, agency, you idiots. Do not give a small human without complete object permanence the capacity to kill unless you’re willing to pay attention and make sure he doesn’t.

    • Bad Scooter

      that’ll teach the kid about responsible gun ownership 😥

      • Three Finger Salute

        Didn’t LaPierre say “your dead kids aren’t more important than our Constitution” or something like that after Sandy Hook? Or was it some other wingnut? Why the fuck are toddlers allowed to operate guns? Because America is a death cult full of morons?

        • Bad Scooter

          not sure if LaPierre said that, but the NRA and GOP imply that sentiment every time they talk about guns.

    • Cat Cafe

      Or if Gramps had a meth lab, which his kid had accidentally blown up, it would also be super, super clear. We just canNOT let the NRA continue to define even what the dialogue IS.

    • Delu

      Another day in America.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Gotta check the calendar first.

        Yup, today ends in Y.

        • Delu

          For some, it ends with a bullet.

          Just that sort of American Day.

    • BloviateMe

      I’m so sick of avoidable tragedy.

      • BadKitty904

        Thanks, GOP!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Me too.

    • Blackest Noobs

      well Gramps probably shouldn’t have dressed up like a deer, he had it coming, just saying.

    • Amy!

      Rural pre-teens driving trucks and heavy equipment is still a thing in NC. Guy who graded my driveway had his ten-year old helping him at one point.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Ten is not four though. And there’s a part of me that, for just that reason, wants the self-driving cars, tractors etc. to be a thing.

        • jesterpunk

          Thats been a thing for a while and they do a pretty good job of it.

          https://www.cbsnews.com/news/farmers-reap-benefits-self-driving-tractor-technology/

        • Blackest Noobs

          i kinda don’t. i mean it’s coming and i can’t change it.
          my reasoning?

          all this convenience is making us dumber.

          Gramps died because he was a dumbfuck with a gun. he paid with his life. my dad taught me to shoot when i was 5 or 6. 1st rule was never point the damn thing in his direction.

          • Three Finger Salute

            And yet, see above about our priorities as a country. We make a bigger deal about 14-year-olds being exposed to bare nipples than toddlers handling guns. Mark Zuckerberg is 33 fucking years old, has two children of his own, and has more of a problem with breastfeeding photos and the Vietnam “Napalm Girl” photo showing up on Facebook than live-streamed murders and rapes. Something is seriously wrong with the mental health not only of our citizenry but our whole culture.

          • Blackest Noobs

            certainly but our priority in this country has never been about being intellects. change that, you change everything.

            good luck, though, you’ll need it.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        “It wuz good enuf for medieval peasants, and it’s good enuf for us.”

    • jesterpunk

      Kids still kill more then Muslim terrorists, cant let no foreigners beat real ‘Mericans at killing people here. USA USA USA!!!!

      • Three Finger Salute

        You can’t buy booze if you’re under 21.
        You can’t buy cigarettes if you’re under 18.
        You can’t go see an R-rated film if you’re under 17.
        You can’t drive a car if you’re under 16.

        But there’s no age limit for which you can operate a machine that was designed with the sole purpose of killing or maiming a living being.

        For some reason, America considers movies more dangerous than guns. This country is irredeemably sick.

        • jesterpunk

          We let kids here use a fully automatic uzi here. (Dont watch the video) because freedumb.

          http://www.cnn.com/2014/08/26/us/arizona-girl-fatal-shooting-accident/index.html

          Yeah the country is pretty fucked but we can fix it if we can get people to actually get off their asses and vote. A country barely alive. Ladies and Gentlemen , we can rebuild it. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world’s best country. America will be that country. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, smarter.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            That “smarter” part may take a while.

          • Three Finger Salute

            That’s another thing. You can’t even vote until you’re 18.

            America is more concerned about age-restricting access to ballots than bullets. Wouldn’t want the kids to get a nasty paper cut on that referendum now, would we?

    • Blackest Noobs

      natural selection WINS again.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Too late in this case. Gramps passed his s.m.r.t. genes on already. To the parent who let him take the kid gun hunting, for starters.

    • aureolaborealis

      Jesus. I have a precocious six-year-old who will eventually learn gun safety and whatnot, if only so she can be safe around idiots who are not, and it will be years before I would trust her judgement enough to let her deal with a loaded firearm without eagle-eye supervision. Not even a fucking BB gun.

    • TJ Barke

      My dad didn’t let me use a gun until I was at least 6, under supervision always. And rule number one was NEVER POINT IT AT A PERSON.

  • Bad Scooter
  • wait! what?

    I wish to report an unconfirmed Dominic Gwinn sighting at Ontario and Fairbanks at approximately 17:30pm this Wednesday, the 11th of October, 2017.

    Either that or it was a dapper Dominic doppelganger…

    • Covfefe

      You sure Dom wasn’t at Clark and Addison?

      • wait! what?

        If he was he’s crying now with the rest of the Cub fab-base.

        5-0 Nats?!

        WTF?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          another bullpen meltdown. Edwards took Lester’s one hit game and loaded the bases with walks so Davis could give up a grand slam

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          You can’t win if you don’t score.
          Rained out game lets Strasburg pitch – whoever runs the weather is a Nats fan.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Like Saddam Hussein, Dom is well-schooled in the art of deception. Wonkette overlords can’t be too careful.

  • HazooToo
  • FZsdaughter

    Evan I can always tell one of your headlines, because it is a)angry AF 2) has scatology 3) 1&2 3) is hilarious but not in the olds way Dr Zoom is funny. Now go throw that rubber chicken.

  • Anna Rompage

    The view from my back porch!

    It’s a double rainbow muther fuckers!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2c03e25ac88a6f0200e1ebe01dd19c51968a16f640e9e246d6378698a6d98be8.jpg

    • BloviateMe

      That’s God’s guarantee that he won’t flood the earth again.*

      *certain restrictions apply, offer not available in Houston, New Orleans…

      • Blackest Noobs

        read the fine prints…there’s always an escape clause.

      • Delu

        God promised that there would never be another flood quite like the one that only the stuff on Noah’s Ark survived.

        He never said anything about there never being a flood WORSE than that!

        • William
          • Delu

            There’s a clip in Chinese about why animals like the dinosaur and the woolly mammoth are extinct today. (it’s a cartoon joke clip)

            According to that clip, dinosaurs and mammoths did exist back when Noah built his Ark, and he did take a representative of them onto his Ark.

            However midway during the flood, a really heavy storm battered the thing and it was in danger of sinking. Noah decided that the only way to save the Ark and everything on board was to lighten the load.

            And that meant sacrificing some of his passengers.

            Of course, the question then was, who to throw overboard? Noah came up with the er…novel..idea of getting each of the animal representatives to come up and tell a joke. The joke that they tell has to succeed in making everyone laugh, if even one person or animal doesn’t, then that animal representative would be tossed overboard.

            So Noah first called up the dinosaur and the joke that it told had everyone laughing and in stitches….

            ….except one. The pig sitting in the corner had a somewhat dazed and glum look on his face. It was clearly not laughing.

            Since the dinosaur failed to make the pig laugh, Noah tossed it overboard as per the rules set down, then called up the next animal which, coincidentally, was the mammoth.

            The joke the mammoth told again, had everyone on board laughing and in stitches….except for, again, the pig, who was still just sitting there with the same unsmiling expression. Hence the mammoth too had to go the way of the dinosaur and was tossed overboard.

            By now the other remaining animals were all covered in cold sweat, and just as Noah was about to pick the third animal to tell a joke (the Rhino it was I think), the sound of laughter was suddenly heard.

            Everyone turned in the direction of the sound to see the pig laughing heartily:

            “Hahahaha! I only just got the 2 jokes that were told earlier! They were really funny! Hahahahaha!”

            And that’s how mammoths and dinosaurs became extinct, according to the clip (the clip didn’t show, but I guess the storm stopped or something after that and Noah no longer needed to throw anyone else overboard).

    • Three Finger Salute

      That’s Mother Nature telling Roy Moore to eat a bag of hot and spicy dicks.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Beautiful. Thank you!

    • Cat Cafe

      WOW WOW WOW! What a sight–and a great picture, too!

    • Changeling

      Four pots of gold!

      (My name is also the name of a mythological creature that hides the enchanted treasures people are about to find. We once went looking for the treasure at the end of the rainbow with my nieces because it was a very specific place. When we didn’t find anything I told them I’d tricked them and hid it. They believed me for a moment. Then we found a colony of snails.)

    • House0fTheBlueLights
  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Our job, first and foremost, is to bear witness. One of the primary reasons that this bullshit went down in the first place was the near total ignorance of the public regarding Nixon, among other matters. In 5-10 years, the Republicans will trot out their bullshit about America first and economic populism again, expecting people to forget what happened the last time they did that. We must not allow them to do that.

    The good news is, now all of the bullshit is out of the quiet rooms. The economic populism is easily translated as racism. “Make America great again” is easily translated as “turn back the clock 75 years.

  • HazooToo
    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Here ya go, Wonkteteers!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    OT. So I’m updating my family tree and fleshing out the descendents of recent ancestors to maybe find some 2nd-, 3rd-, etc. cousins, when I find this guy’s name: Christ Hoar.

    Being the immature person that I am, I imagine all the innocently obscene conversations in that household, growing up.

    “Christ! You come up here for bathtime, you filthy little Hoar!”

    • Beautiful Soup

      You think that’s bad – we found out Mr.Soup had relatives named Trump!

    • mancityRed6

      the ex found out about someone who lived in the same town with the same last name (not sure if related, but it’s an obscure French name, so…).
      their given name was Rowdy.
      the question at the store was “are you a [insert name here] or did you marry in?” all while really eyeing the bank card she was using to buy smokes.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Knew a Candy Barr (so obvious,i ‘ll bet there are a lot of them out there), and a Randy Peters.

        • mancityRed6

          we would always make fun of the realtor whose name was Randy Ham.

  • amrak63

    Good night, Wonketarians.

    OK, maybe this high-definition video thingy is getting a bit too realistic?

    https://i.imgur.com/fpsA56X.jpg

    • amrak63

      Though it makes a certain kind of sense that if any of the Lucky Star girls could break the 4th wall, it would be the chaotically energetic Misao.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
  • William
    • therblig

      maybe trumpy could get a job milking them.

  • HazooToo
    • BloviateMe

      I would cheerfully befriend the people on that thread.

      • HazooToo

        It makes me very happy to find these things!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This made me so happy

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Cock Blockula

    Donna Rose showed age-appropriate poise, demeanor, and was able to clearly answer the questions put to her in the video posted in an earlier thread today. Clearly she shows more maturity and intelligence for her age than the current occupant of the Oval Office.

    DR for President!

  • BrendaKay

    For open thread I bring you memories of a stable, classy woman who once lived in the White House and made the country a better place.
    https://www.smithsonianmag.com/videos/category/smithsonian-channel/eleanor-roosevelts-surprising-connection-to/

    • Delu

      “Speak only when we WANT you to speak woman!”

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        …so that we can criticize you for speaking!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          … after criticizing you for not speaking sooner.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            What a fun game! We could play this forever lolsob

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    ruh roh, deplorables turning om herr Trump

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/918278059454881792

    • Blackest Noobs

      da fuck?

    • mancityRed6

      what the ever loving fuck?!? wasn’t he saying just the opposite not long ago?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Well, a broken clock is right twice a day.

      Seriously, how is Trump threatening to punish the NFL not a 1st issue?

    • jesterpunk

      God Damn it fucking 2017, stop making Rush and Fucking Joe Walsh make sense.

      http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/mdn.gif

      • Three Finger Salute

        Rush and Joe Walsh? Since when did a former Eagle join a supergroup with Neil, Geddy and Alex?

        • jesterpunk

          Not that Joe Walsh, the shitty Joe Walsh who needs to pay his child support and change his name.

          • mancityRed6

            sometimes it’s easier to just think of the other instead of the real thing.

          • Three Finger Salute

            “Cast in his unlikely role, ill-equipped to act, with insufficient tact”

            -Rush (the better, Canadian version) on Trump

          • Three Finger Salute

            “My Maserati does 185” -other Joe Walsh

            “That’s it! That’s my I.Q.!” -Trump

          • “The FCC revoked their licenses, now I won’t cry.” – Trump.

        • William

          Lifes been good to him so far.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Lifeson’s been good to him too, I guess…

      • WomanInThePersistence

        “A modern day warrior,
        Mean mean stride,
        My Maserati
        Does 185.”

    • data_ninja

      Advertisers musta got to him or something. This man is impossible to have a thought like this on his own.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Yep $$$

        • Persistent Demme

          I’ll take it!
          (Don’t care why.)

    • Whelp. My mom and I can talk about the feetballz, again. Not that we ever did in the first place.

    • Persistent Demme

      They’re gonna turn on him like a bitch.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        I so hope so.

    • William
      • Panika MCD

        even a broken opiate addict is right once in a blue pill.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      It’s like Lord of the Flies.

    • Sophia

      Fuck, now I am agreeing with Limbaugh. What the hell s going on in this world

  • Zyxomma

    Keef (the other one, not Richards): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTNZg_iVYLQ

  • This thread:

    https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/918273291990851585

    Also, Buzzfeed as “hard hitting investigative journalism”? This IS the same site that posts “PIKACHU Vs. SNORLAX: F, M, or K?”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Apparently, the clickbait/listicle crap at Buzzfeed is what supports the rare gem, diamond-in-the-rough longread content. Consider it the equivalent of a person who writes trashy bodice-rippers to support their habit while working on a masterwork of literary fiction. Or someone who earns a living pretending to be one of those fake RWNJ conspiracy-symbolism bloggers or religious end-times grifters so that they can take that money and contribute to progressive candidates and advocacy groups. Hookers with a heart of gold.

    • Ann Coulter is never cool.

      • Parakeetist

        Amen

    • Panika MCD

      they have pretty respectable news and politics departments.

    • therblig

      such crap. PSYDUCK FTW!!

  • HazooToo
  • schmannity

    Trump demands investigation of network licenses and “if appropriate” revocation for FAKE NEWS criticizing him or putting him in a bad light. Trump hates democracy.

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/not-fair-trump-doubles-down-on-claim-media-licenses-must-be-revoked/

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      But freeze peaches and buttery males and libtards!

      • schmannity

        Don’t forget moose limbs.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          They’re not allowed no more.

        • Three Finger Salute

          My sister bit a møøse limb once. No, realli!

    • Panika MCD

      he didn’t accidentally use the Constitution as toilet paper, did he?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      LOL – Fucks Gnus wouild be the first to go.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      When trump was growing up, he obviously never heard the saying about opening his mouth and confirming his ignorance, as licenses aren’t granted to networks but to TV stations.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Don’t count out Sinclair then…

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.”
    ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

    https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/10/11/16458104/trump-nukes-nbc-thousands

  • HazooToo

    If you do this, I will re-dress my child and come back to your house several times. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d37e0083f69d16315987af6b3bc178ae5b44851c47d97383f958e684711f102.png

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Dude, that’s a lot of meals right there.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Perhaps this year I will hand out canned clams.

      • jesterpunk

        You monster.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Shhhhh….I’m off to the store. To buy ….errrr…treats for the little ones.

      • HazooToo

        YOU MONSTER

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          It’s Halloween. Chill out.

          • HazooToo

            I suppose… Not like it’s toothbrushes or candy corn…

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Toothbrushes are WRONG.

            *whispers. I kind of like candy corn*

          • data_ninja

            Candy corn and peanuts are amazingly good mixed together. I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t try it myself.

      • William
        • WomanInThePersistence

          Well, at least it’s scary.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        I think that’s an awesome idea! But I am an undead, brain-eating ghoul, so perhaps you don’t want to go by me.

      • OutOfOrbit

        i would sit on my front porch & throw the canned clams [still in their cam clans] at the little shits

        • BloviateMe

          I’ll stand behind you and cackle madly. It’ll tie the room together.

          • OutOfOrbit

            having a reloader would speed it up

          • WomanInThePersistence

            With the appropriate background music, it would make a Halloween the little ones would never forget!

            https://youtu.be/X3vsB-f0HyY

    • jesterpunk

      I would go to that house a few times myself.

    • William
    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      As Michael Hurley said: you gotta find me…..

    • TJ Barke

      Shoot the candy at them with a slingshot.

  • CATMAN

    Contrary to what the Evangelical assholes say (Trump was elected by God), I take Trump as further evidence that there cannot be a benevolent deity who would cause such suffering among Americans, plus, a benevolent god would have never created the mosquito, by far the most lethal animal on this planet

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Maybe God is fumigating?

      ‘Cause there are a lot of “issues” with a lot of the people here. I just don’t think God would dislike who they think he would.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      God’s got nothing to do with this. He just set shit in motion.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eujCeBC4Lh0

    • Three Finger Salute

      Wrong. Mosquito is second-most lethal. Humans are by far number one.

      • CATMAN

        Think about the diseases mosquitoes spread and get back to me

        • Three Finger Salute

          Humans can kill mosquitoes though. We’re already at work on genetically engineering a sterile breed.

          Mosquitos won’t survive nuclear war either.

        • Think about the narcissist gazing longingly at the nuclear codes and get back to me.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
      • OutOfOrbit

        my sediments eggsackly

      • Bill D. Burger

        Absolutely one of my favorite philosophers and one of my favorite quotes.

        • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

          Today, we are all Epicurians.

      • BloviateMe

        I will always upfist that.

    • Delu

      There are some who believe that it is Man who created God not the other way around.

    • OrG

      Hey, maybe he just gets drunk now.

    • Sophia
      • Why is a rock reading the sign?

        • data_ninja

          Because it doesn’t want to take literacy for granite.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Excellent, disturbing piece by @fmkaplan on Trump foreign policy, and GOP responsibility. https://t.co/5AnIvHzUCI pic.twitter.com/E7T11sKu57— James Fallows (@JamesFallows) October 12, 2017

    • TJ Barke

      At this point, they know Trump is at best a useful idiot.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        They’re deluded. He doesn’t seem very useful to their cause — other than Gorsucks.

  • Panika MCD

    POLL:

    Meatloaf would do anything for love, but something with holy water. what would Tsarina Tic Tacs do anything for and what one thing would he not do for it?

    my answer: a gold-leafed porcelain throne, but won’t climb the scary stairs.

    • OrG

      1)$$$$
      2) tell the truth

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      plaudits, ethical reasons

    • tehbaddr

      Well, Mr. Loaf did indicate he would do anything for love. He’s a liar or hadn’t clearly thought things out. “Anything but that.”

      So, my fellow Wonkers, what was the Loaf so afraid of? This thing that is that?

      • Panika MCD

        he did. his lady friend in the song listed a bunch of stuff and when she got all sacrilegious it was a bridge too far.

        • tehbaddr

          Hmm so sacrilege, then eh? The Loaf is and was a weak man!

          • Panika MCD

            I know!

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        For starters he wouldn’t serve everyone at the Frank-n-furter table :)

        • Arolpin

          Oh No! Not Meatloaf for dinner again!

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Own a beauty pageant for teenagers and not crash the dressing room. Oh wait? He did walk in these half naked girls? Nevermind.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    As promised, I am taking one for the team and watching Donald on Hannity.

    Sorry, just blacked out.

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      Don’t overdose!

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Did you make it more than 30 seconds?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        29, then Oblivion.

    • Sophia

      That can’t be healthy.

    • BloviateMe
    • TJ Barke

      DON’T DO IT, COUSIN!

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Hannity: “President Obama was the first president in history to never hit 3% GDP growth during his two terms. I think that speaks volumes”
      .
      And I’m out. Not even two seconds.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “It is a far, far better thing that you do, than you have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that you go to than you have ever known.”

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Be careful, for heavens sake!

  • tehbaddr

    Heh, less than zero fucks to give! Currently listening to Floodland!

  • Sophia

    Don’t feel like looking through 360 comments to see if this was posted

    https://twitter.com/PreetBharara/status/918116000004001792

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Distributing aid including food and water post-disaster is literally the centerpiece of FEMA's mission statement. https://t.co/gomvzjpnQA— Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) October 12, 2017

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    I hear this song is on a constant loop in the WH

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krXHgl_0Bqo

  • Picabo
  • Did anyone see Ari Melber tonight? He had a panel that included Bill Kristol and three rap/hip hop artists. I think Melber did it just for the laff riot!

  • HazooToo
    • Panika MCD

      hey! that was made by a UT – Austin student!

  • Three Finger Salute

    Currently trending at “Marie Claire”. Justin Trudeau on why he’s raising his kids to be feminists. Saw this first at Daily Fail and decided to track down the actual article because — sheesh, those homophobic comments — yikes, way to prove the guy right…

    http://www.marieclaire.com/politics/a12811748/justin-trudeau-raising-kids-feminist/

    Eloquent, heartwarming and inspirational. Not a “covfefe” or “SAD!” to be found.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I wish more people in the country knew enough about how macroeconomics work to know how dumb and batshit this is: https://twitter.com/_Drew_McCoy_/status/918280972793135105

    • FukuiSanYesOta

      This man is a danger to himself, let alone others.

    • jesterpunk

      I dont have a degree in anything and that sounds like some grade A horse shit to me.

      • ariel_gee_398

        You don’t need a degree to understand that the US government’s debt is not reduced by the increase of share prices of publicly traded companies, true.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Fucknuts doesn’t even understand that publically-traded companies don’t have access to market capitalization. He probably thinks they can use that “money” to invest.

          Oh fuck knows what he thinks. I’m not even sure he does most of the time.

          • ariel_gee_398

            From what I’ve gathered, he thinks the US trade deficit is part of the national debt, that eliminating the trade deficit will cause an immediate commensurate increase in domestic production and thus increase the GDP and bring our rate of growth over 4%, and now, somehow, that stock prices help reduce the national debt. He has economic advisors peddling this shit. It’s way worse than your standard Laffer curve bullshit.

            How actual, SEC-compliant corporations function is obviously a mystery to him.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            As I say, I’m not sure he thinks. Your Trumpian chain of cause-and-effect (however wrong) is too complex for Dampnut.

            He’s too stupid to understand any of it.

          • ariel_gee_398

            That’s definitely true. And why I wish Americans were at least moderately conversant in economics. It’s so obvious that he has no clue about anything, if more people understood the basics, it might dispel some of those Republicans are good at econ/businessmen are smart at finance things myths.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Oh, this x1000. It’s not even that hard.

            I was in a discussion over a drink with my old boss and the head of product as to why Brexit was so fucking stupid. Obviously, the EU is about capital and labor mobility plus an expanded market, not “immigrants takin’ ar jerbs!” which is how Brexit was sold.

            My boss posited a game like monopoly where people could learn the basics of this idea, because they need it.

            The head of product countered with “The people who need to know this would never play it”

            And thus it shall ever be.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Turn it into a reality show and maybe we would get somewhere. I just…something like 60,000 seasonal agricultural workers come to the UK for harvests. The British are not going to take on those jobs. Not to mention all the food imported from the rest of Europe. If you wanted to raise prices for necessary goods while deflating your currency, Brexit was a swell plan. I think the NHS lie sold a lot of people. Why Labour is not continually bashing them over the head about that I don’t know.

            I had a very basic intro to econ class in high school, but I’m guessing that was pretty unique. Fuck me, that and a civics course or two just might help us save the republic.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Oh, you’re preaching to the choir here. It drives me nuts. I ran my own company in Britain for 13 years, and this is the most stupid-ass thing I’ve ever seen my birth country do. And they (the populace) do a lot.

            Eh. It’s not even hard economics. It’s really not.

          • ariel_gee_398

            No, it’s not. You just have to view it as your job as a citizen/voter to know it. And frankly, that applies to pretty much every other issue, too. You don’t have to be an expert, but you have to understand what the debate is about. You have to view it as a duty to know that “clean coal” is not a piece of fucking coal that had a nice shower. https://twitter.com/pbump/status/918284026087133187

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            OK, rage-stroke time. Maybe it’s time to make some food.

            Thing is, people lap this shit up and ask for more.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I do really find the stupidity and ignorance overwhelming sometimes. Fortunately, I’ve got wine.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Brexit wasn’t only about immigrants takin jerbs though. There’s animosity towards Poles and Italians and whatnot, but it was really about terrism and wanting to kick out all the Muslims. They thought that voting for Brexit was going to stop the refugees from coming in — and eventually give them enough leeway to go all Enoch Powell on anyone darker than Tilda Swinton.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            I respectfully partially disagree. The big sell from UKIP was spending money on Europe which could be used for the NHS, but the *message* was definitely benefit scamming by immigrants and refugees. There was an undercurrent of “Teh Muslims” but not nearly so much as you’d find in the US.

            Then there were the more intellectual arguments against the EU, as put forward by e.g. my Aunt, in that we’d be better off negotiating trade treaties without the rest of Europe. Now, I disagree with that, but I can see the point; at least that requires thought.

            Frankly, I cried when I saw the final result.

            Source: I’m originally British.

      • OrG

        It’s not rocket surgery.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Jamoche

      Says the guy who lost money running a casino.

      • jesterpunk

        Not just one, he bankrupted 3 casinos.

    • janecita

      What the Fuck?!?!

    • CripesAmighty

      Aside from the ‘wha?’ Of this little bit of made up nonsense; even if we humor his idiocy and go along with the premise: wait til the next crash–which is inevitable–and overdue–and *poof*

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    On the plus side, even with Obama I was never a fan of the growing powers of the presidency. If we survive the current calamity I’m hoping we put some restrictions in place or something. I mean, guys, shit.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you sed a mouthful there

    • Three Finger Salute

      Obama had to do what he had to do because the Republicans went batshit insane trying to sabotage him with all kinds of dirty tricks for no other reason than presidenting while black. There are checks and balances. The problem is, one, the Founders never envisioned (and probably didn’t want) a black man in the Oval Office, who would face unprecedented obstruction to his relatively moderate agenda for no other reason than his race. Two, even slave-owning Jefferson warned about the moneyed power of corporations, but no one listened, and thanks to Rambo Reagan we’re now an oligarchy that’s trying — with help from one party far more than the other — their damnedest to siphon up every single penny from the “useless” rest of us to hoard all for themselves.

      The problem isn’t so much the “growing power of the presidency” but the fact that Republicans have gone off the deep end and become the irredeemable party of hate and greed. The problem is the power of Republicans and the power of ruthless, right-wing billionaires. Just think of how they would have ravaged Hillary if she had won. The country is fundamentally broken. We’re using an 18th-century set of rules for 21st-century society, and it’s intentionally difficult to change those rules in a way that it isn’t in other countries. The culture is similarly fucked up, and that’s a problem in a big way too because of the way those rules were written.

      We’re on the verge of collapse no matter what.

      • OutOfOrbit

        summary executions via drone (collateral deaths? pffft) are unforgivable

        • Three Finger Salute

          Like the Republicans wouldn’t have gone along with that. It’s the domestic agenda they were determined to block no matter what. Also too, parts of the foreign agenda — like when they invited Bibi to denounce the Iran nuclear deal. Treason. High treason.

        • quite right, much more civilized to execute them with other humans face to face.
          Because that is the alternative to drones.
          Just wanna make sure we’re clear on that point.

      • aktlib101

        Very well said. Ever since Raygun, we’ve been in a “class warfare” that we are badly losing. Both parties were/are at fault, but obviously R-turds much more so. This country needs deep reforms to take away the excess wealth from the rich and improve the wages, health and education of the average citizen. A reverse class warfare of sorts, heh

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    This is gonna be me in 10 minutes. Sadly, I don’t own a giraffe plushie, though. G’nite all!
    https://twitter.com/landpsychology/status/918082276759621633

  • Bill D. Burger
  • HazooToo
  • Relativicus

    Thank you, anonymous sources. Your courage in passing along hearsay is far more valuable than any effort to step forward, say what you know, and help end this fiasco.

    These are the descendants of the same people who thought it was cool to cover for a man suffering from Alzheimer’s.

    Winter is coming.

    • HazooToo

      And it was super brave, also, to pass it along under the condition of anonymity.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • FukuiSanYesOta

      “Help us, Bobbi-wan Muellerobi! You’re our only hope!”

  • aktlib101

    Ha,
    a friend just sent this link to me, funny: “Desperate Cheeto” song by Randy Rainbow
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTosB6V_V24

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Hurray for Randy Rainbow!!! ♥ ♥

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Someone give that man a medal.

    • Zyxomma

      Anyone know the source song? I don’t. (I’m old.)

  • FDRliberal
  • Bill D. Burger

    ManO’Man! If I keep agreeing with Rick Wilson and David Frum, I gonna’ have to book a weekend at the nervous hospital to calm myself.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL5hxA0UQAAwYUz.jpg

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Jesus Christ, Rick. You’re working pretty fucking hard to make everyone forget that you helped create this entire fucking shitshow, you right-wing piece of shit.

      Ahem, sorry for the flash of hostility.

    • thewalkindude
    • Claire

      I hear you. I keep agreeing with Jennifer Rubin. JENNIFER RUBIN.

      Still… it’s important that conservatives like Rubin, Wilson, and Corker are speaking out against Trump. It doesn’t excuse their role in creating him, but it’s important. It’s a hell of a lot better than the entire Republican party presenting a united face to gaslight America into thinking that support of Trump is part of the conservative identity.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Rubin has been amazing. I do hope this ends up over the long haul with establishment conservatives coming to a rapprochement with mainstream liberals, where at least they recognize that Democrats are political rivals but not enemies, and that it is better to try and work with them than to continue playing with