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It all makes sense now! Just kidding, it never DIDN’T make sense why Secretary of State Rex Tillerson would look Donald Trump up and down, from his bird’s nest of a head to his little bitty extremities, and say, “Why I do declare, there is a fucking moron in front of me!” But it’s helpful to have a little context, we guess.

We knew Tillerson was overheard saying the swear heard around the world just after a July meeting at the Pentagon, but now we know how Trump behaved during that meeting. NBC reports he was SO MAD America doesn’t have as many nuclear weapons as we used to and wanted us to add almost TEN TIMES AS MANY to our arsenal:

President Donald Trump said he wanted what amounted to a nearly tenfold increase in the U.S. nuclear arsenal during a gathering this past summer of the nation’s highest ranking national security leaders, according to three officials who were in the room. […]

Officials present said that Trump’s comments on a significantly increased arsenal came in response to a briefing slide that outlined America’s nuclear stockpile over the past 70 years. The president referenced the highest number on the chart — about 32,000 in the late 1960s — and told his team he wanted the U.S. to have that many now, officials said.

The U.S. currently has around 4,000 nuclear warheads in its military stockpile, according to the Federation of American Scientists.

Shouldn’t have shown him that fuckin’ chart.

A day before that meeting, Trump horrified Tillerson by comparing Afghanistan war strategy to sprucing up an ailing restaurant. Obviously Tillerson was primed to tell any eavesdroppers listening that his boss Trump is a YOOGE MORON, MOST TREMENDOUS FUCKING MORON ON EARTH, SUCH A MORON WE’RE GONNA GET SICK OF MORONS.

Trump has had this little nuclear weapons problem since forever. He wants to use them soooooooooo bad, and doesn’t understand why if we have them, we’re not allowed to GO BOOM. This, presumably, would be the same reaction he’d have if Melania gold-plated one of the toilets in the White House residence and said he wasn’t allowed to shit in it. If Trump’s tiny hands are anywhere near anything, he thinks it’s his God-ordained right to grab it.

Of course, much of the world (INCLUDING AMERICA) has been working on nuclear non-proliferation and disarmament since about five minutes after that one time America used them against Japan. There has been a Treaty On The Non-Proliferation Of Nuclear Weapons since 1970, and St. Ronald of Reagan’s dream was a world without nuclear weapons. During the Cold War, the doctrine of mutually assured destruction pretty much kept the world’s warring nations from pressing the big red button, and America has been following a de facto “no first use” policy for decades.

Trump baselessly tweeted in August that he had “renovated and modernized” our nuclear arsenal, because its granite countertops were out of date (all nuclear arsenal countertops are marble this year) and everybody agreed putting a few skylights in our missile silos would really brighten up the space. MAYBE he thinks that when he stomped his feet and clapped his hands in this July Pentagon meeting, after which his Sec State called him a fucking moron, the military immediately set to fixin’ it up right nice to please President Pussgrab.

That did not happen.

OH SHIT Y’ALL, BREAKING NEWS, WE ARE SO SORRY, because we have apparently been fake news-ing you this whole time:

Our bad. Why must NBC keep reporting fake things designed to make Trump look like a fucking moron, when he’s perfectly capable of doing that all by himself? (For the record NBC says Trump’s denial can get fucked and is standing by its reporting.)

As usual, we must revisit Trump’s best quote about nuclear weapons, about how he learned about the nu-cu-lars from his Uncle John, who was a smart guy:

“Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.”

Fucking moron.

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  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Whoever can blow up the earth the most times wins.”
    — Sun Tzu, as interpreted by Trump

    • ManchuCandidate

      Who can blow up the world on a whim?
      Who can take a nothing day and make it Armageddon?
      It’s you Dotard and you fucking know it.
      With each fucking idiotic statement you show it.

      Peace is all around no need to keep it.
      You have the football why don’t you use it.
      You’re gonna kill us after allllll…

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        It needs a freeze fame of him tossing his toupee into the air to make it perfect.

        • jodyleek

          It’s worse than a toupee. It’s his actual hair, grown about three feet long on the one side and swooped over the other. Gah!

          • cmd resistor

            He has the worst hair in the entire world. And maybe the worst thing about it is that he likes it and spends a lot of time to make it look that horrid.

          • Ergoetal

            Yeah, but all the ladies love running their fingers through it. Many people have told me.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Who does his hair? Like every morning. I’ve heard it’s Melania. If that’s the case, she’d be well within her rights to never touch his dick again.

          • jodyleek

            I did read somewhere that she in fact “does” his hair. After some of the things she’s said, I feel no sympathy for this woman. She can choke on his hair for all I care, and she just might.

    • x111e7thst

      victorious warriors blow up the world first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to blow up the world

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    I wonder if the “caretakers” hide the real football from Trump and show him a briefcase with fake launch codes…..

  • Bill D. Burger
  • ManchuCandidate

    Because of fucking nukular arms limitation treaties.

    No naval nukes. No mirv warhead missiles. No IRBMs. No Davy Crockett nuke mortars Ie the world’s worst/stupidest/Trumpest weapons system ever. No nuke air dropped strategic bombs. No nuke artillery shells.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Latverian Diplomat

      Calling it his “crib” is a little more literal than usual.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Sorry, but I have to concern troll that flag – he’ll put an eye out!

  • Michael Smith

    I guess we now know what the Praetorian Guard and the other political elites of the Roman Empire felt during Caligula’s reign.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I look a little like Claudius, you know.”
      — Mike Pence

      • marxalot

        Clau-Clau? Him? Derek Jacobi libelz!1!

        • Old Man Yells at Cloud

          I look forward to the Star Trek where Captain Picard travels back to ancient Rome so they can explain this story arc.
          https://youtu.be/PsSgw8Q5k4k?t=2376

          • The Wanderer

            Fantastic series. The acting was magnificent.

          • Old Man Yells at Cloud

            Totally agree! Well except for Deep Space 9 :)

      • Roadstergal

        Super serial Claudius libel!!

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        He looks more like Biggus Dickus

        • The Wanderer

          But is his wife Incontinentia Buttocks?

        • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

          That one in the background looks like Biggus’s wife, Incontinentia Buttocks.

    • It’s as if Nero and Caligula had a baby, and that baby had sex with the love child of Stalin and Hitler, who’s kid had an illegitimate bastard with Pol Pot’s daughter.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      The good news is the Pax Romana is just around the corner.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Don’t have me hoping the current Praetorian Guard finds the same quick fix for their problem.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Not to mention the following damnatio memoriae.

      • Nockular cavity

        “With gladiuses!”

        Uhh…gladii?

        • The Wanderer

          Gladii would be correct, methinks.

        • Timothy Watson

          “cum gladiis”, I think.

        • Eileen Besse

          Yes.

    • MrTusks

      “So, uh, we’re pretty much in charge now, right?”

      -The Joint Chiefs

  • Bill D. Burger
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Liddle’ Donnie Day Care Center

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Or for us olds:

        The Liddle Kiddle Klub House

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Roadstergal

      People are saying it more and more.

      • It’s a common side-effect of knowing the guy, from what I’ve heard. And now we’re all being forced to know him.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    IMHO, Trump’s denial confirms the story.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      As always.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      And Sanders saying he enjoys the full confidence of the president is the fucking kiss of death.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • marxalot

    Ugh, that block quote. That particular one makes my nose bleed if I read too much of it. Usually the Wig just makes my ears ring like a gossip’s switchboard, but something about that one…

    • Mr. Blobfish

      It’s a beauty, eh?

  • I would like to go on record calling trump a fucking moron.

  • Bill D. Burger

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL3O5_dUQAEGxYM.jpg

    (*Lil’ facelift, but the waddle wouldn’t go away. Heh!)

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
  • Bill D. Burger
  • CutterTeam

    TRUE FACT: The Manhattan Project was actually a New York-based Alan Parsons Project cover band from the early 1980s. Believe me.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Many people don’t know that.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Lance Thrustwell

      That’s a strong billboard.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Uncle John Trump: I just want to say one word to you. Just one word.

    Donald: Yes, sir.

    John Trump: Are you listening?

    Donald: Yes, I am.

    John Trump: Nuclears.

    Donald: Exactly how do you mean?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Christ! That clip! FINISH. A. SENTENCE!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Furthermore, do not call him a monkey!

    • Eileen Besse

      THIS!!!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Move over Michele Bachman and Louie Gohmert….

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL3R7cqUEAIneM3.jpg

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    As Mother Jones pointed out, he’s pissed that he doesn’t have as many nuclear weapons as Obama had.

  • CutterTeam

    Anybody know the atomic weight of Crazium?

    • marxalot

      45

    • ManchuCandidate

      -1

    • folderol

      Just above Moronium on the periodic table.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        The Periodic Table of You’re out of Your Elements.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      A metric fucktonne?

    • Dutchman

      42?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Dunno but you’re supposed to keep it locked up in Sanitarium.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • CutterTeam

    To aid this ridiculous douche canoe in ending the entire world, I’m guessing the final nuclear launch code sequence has been changed to 1-2-3-4-5, because WHY THE FUCK WOULDN’T IT BE AT THIS POINT?

    • mackafritz

      He would still have problems with that.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Nuke ’em, Dano!”

    • The Wanderer

      President Skroob was more competent than Trump.

  • Bill D. Burger

    New Presidential Seal:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DL3Wt8vUQAERF3l.jpg

    Fucking Moron

  • They should just build that set from Wargames with the giant screens, and when Trump orders a strike, take him there are show him how super it went. Then tell him it’s a secret that only he knows, and that’s why nobody else is talking about it on Twitter.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      That would actually work fine. They’ve probably already set up a similar thing to that.

  • chascates

    Can’t someone put him in a room with a bunch of toy army men and hope he stays occupied for a few years?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Some talking head on MSNBC yesterday: “This President doesn’t have policies, he has mood swings.”

  • Villago Delenda Est

    This dipshit has no fucking idea about how ANYTHING works.

    • greyXstar

      Completely unfair! He knows plenty about how to get over every sucker that crosses his path.

  • DAT

    “the Persians”????

    Is that coming from the Hitler era thing about “Iran is Aryan”? He just pops that term into his rambling.

    • Mildred Broxon

      Cats.

      • DAT

        Oh, that’s fine, I guess. I’m OK with cat supremacists marching.

  • folderol

    If I had a nuclear bomb for every stupid thing Trump said, I’d have a 10x larger stockpile than the U.S.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Trust me, you’d have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than that.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Triangle NBC is congruent to triangle CNN

  • CutterTeam

    I’m guessing Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy end up with Pentagon jobs before this is all over.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’d be much more comfortable with Ferris Bueller having access to the football.

    • Roadstergal

      I would feel 1000x better if Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy had control of the nuclear arsenal.

      Hell, even Dabney Coleman, and he’s almost as old as Kissenger.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Lance Thrustwell

    I was, it just, okay, so Trump may be crazy, but you know, I’m reminded of – it’s why I went to school! To know when, when someone doesn’t know, it’s happening. It’s happening? But they don’t want us to acknowledge – look, it’s just that everyone’s saying it, okay? I’m just repeating – but that’s not important. Nuclear weapons are bad. Thank you! God bless – oh man, would you look at the rack on… wait, is it now? I’m being told – okay, goodnight everyone.

    • Alan

      Squirrel.

  • CutterTeam

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e5990d5554d64a9ed18df71a2402a85915a9af59ef1e8935fc20a7801cfe2e35.jpg

    He has a good point about NBC. I mean, what kind of idiot clown would work for that bullshit operation?

    • cmd resistor

      How did a guy whose signature gesture is a creepy thumbs up get famous.

    • aureolaborealis

      Look at that sincere smile. I guess he is a good guy after all.

  • Finally, video surfaces of Tillerson at the meeting calling trump a moron:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trljmnV6blE

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Did they serve Tea For The Tillerson?

    • Eileen Besse

      THIS!

  • bubbuhh

    To be frank, I have no idea why anyone would believe the spineless lying scumbags who run NBC any more they they would believe Trump….except, it’s Trump FFS.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    The only thing that’s keeping us from nuclear war is something that is completely unconstitutional – having Mattis, Kelly and McMaster distract and deflect from the President’s wishes. I’ll be in my underground bunker.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • Proud Liberal

      The people won’t be happy if he visits at all.

    • CripesAmighty

      Donald sneaks in through the back door in the servants’ quarters.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Damn. I was hoping to see him in the guest suite in the Tower of London.

      • georgiaburning

        He might go for that, he likes towers. Paint the inside gold.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I’m sure they’ll put up the elcome sign for him.

    • cheetojeebus
  • Indiepalin

    I couldn’t have said it better myself.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • bubbuhh

      X-Moronianity in action. Homeschooled to not let facts or logic interfere wif thinkin about the children’s naughty bits.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I’m training for the Easter Diabetes/Rickets Smackdown.

      • O4FSake

        Let’s get into the time machine, and return to the 1950s so we can trip a kid with polio.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Must be the same folks who put the “Support Autism” coin collectors at the supermarket checkouts.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba
      • Michael Smith

        Kind of like how I chuckled to myself at the beginning of each episode of the Vietnam documentary when the announcer would say “Major funding for the Vietnam War was provided by…”

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          That’s fine, so long as it ends with “… and you, the viewers.”

    • cheetojeebus
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’ll pay twenty bucks to punch a sick gradeschooler, sure.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Save some of that money so you can buy Christmas crafts. War on Christmas is just around the corner.

      • Daniel

        I’d pay fifty to watch a unicorn smash a sick kid right in the chops.

        Wait.

        No.

        A hoof to the belly. Make him double over.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Fight them, or they’ll take over the world?

  • bubbuhh

    When NBC releases all that damning Trump footage in their warehouse and runs it on their network, I’ll consider them a cut above their pig grabbing pig of a star….mebbe.

    • They could make it pay per view or something, and then use the proceeds to cover any NDA violations.

      • laughingnome

        Let’s see. Do I violate my NDA or let the president start WWIII? Tough one.

        • But then would the presinutz start WWIII just to distract from the tapes?

        • Mormos

          WWIII. Don’t want to hurt share prices by violating an NDA

    • OutOfOrbit

      but that would hurt SO hard :(

  • Scooby

    Even Trump thinks Trump is a liar.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Even Trump thinks knows Trump is a liar.

      FIFY

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The president referenced the highest number on the chart — about 32,000 in the late 1960s — and told his team he wanted the U.S. to have that many now

    Still obsessing about size, is he?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3a04f15dcc063562c096b058d13ebdff9189e71852a45553cf6f2c209b6c4937.jpg

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Okay, that was all lies, stupid CNN/NBC! If we have 4,000 now and we had 32,000 then, why – that’s only 8 times as many! FAKE NEWS!….

  • LEAKED! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d7526500301e5e8ca4a304bcbf3e2fe2386c3973a5ba16c368824ed1d2b24eaf.jpg

    EXCLUSIVE FOOTAGE OF THE TRUMP PENTAGON MEETING WITH BIG ARMY BRASS AND SMART ALECK SCIENTISTS:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhvDMhrws1o

    PUNCH THAT STOOPID SCIENTIST’S LIGHTS OUT, TRUMP!

    • CripesAmighty

      Well, for anyone wondering what a year-long Ed Wood flick would be like…Jesus.

  • Michael R

    TEN TIMES AS MANY ?

    Why not think big ?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Trump horrified Tillerson by comparing Afghanistan war strategy to sprucing up an ailing restaurant

    UM…Mr President?

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3wuex3KI71ro7f7oo1_500.gif

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Well, come on now. We’re all free to decide on our own analogies. Why, I view cleaning the kitchen late at night as my own personal Vietnam.

  • BigCSouthside

    1 Ohio class ballistic missile submarine can launch more firepower than has ever been used in the history of war.

    We have like 13 of them at least.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Ohio class, eh? Does it kill people with boredom?

      {apologies to any Ohio Wonketarians}

      • deadjello

        Watch it mister! Go Tribe!

        • data_ninja

          Hells yeah! Fuck the Yankees!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Hey!

        Oh. Okay.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The US has a Constitutional check for every power of the President except for the use of nuclear weapons.

    Have a nice day.

    • Wookie Monster

      Well, that and issuing federal pardons.

    • TJ Barke

      Kelly and Mattis allegedly have a plan to tackle him if he tries to use the nuclear football.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        They’ve already poured some crazy glue into the unlocking mechanism.

        • Bad Tom

          That. Could. Work.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Well, thank you Mary Sunshine.

    • Roadstergal

      Why didn’t the Founding Fathers put in a check on the nuclear football??

      • Bad Tom

        Duh. Because American football wasn’t invented until 1869.

    • Rags

      Which is why Gorsuch believes they don’t actually exist

  • laughingnome

    Nothing says small dick like wanting 10 times more nuclear weapons.

    • Wookie Monster

      I disagree. Trump is a yuuuuge dick.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      That thing must be inverse for this crap.

  • Crystalclear12

    New question at the pearly gates:
    Did you vote for Trump?
    Sorry, you’re going to hell.
    God is pissed about the whole nuclear war thing.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    It’s going to end up with him getting locked in a room at the WH, isn’t it? Like, really?

    • Trump ran a little way into the wood, and stopped under a large tree. `It can never get at me here,’ he thought: `it’s far too large to squeeze itself in among the trees. But I wish it wouldn’t flap its wings so — it make quite a hurricane in the wood — here’s somebody’s shawl being blown away!’

    • Ill-Advised

      It’s either that, or it really does mean marching him out at gunpoint by US Marshals.

      Assuming there’s a republican left who can distinguish the difference between loving a country and loving a set of tactical goals that benefit the few at the expense of the many.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Anyone who has to proclaim over and over how smart they is, probably ain’t.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Have I told you lately about the size of my cerebral cortex?

      • wide_stance_hubby

        “No, but I felt it when you moved on me like a bitch, Mr. Prededent.”

      • Mr. Blobfish

        You know what they say! Big hands, big cerebral cortex.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Pics, or GTFO.

    • Oblios_Cap

      So … I need to take my diplomas off the office wall?

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    It’s pretty clear to me (um, don’t ask me about my misspent youth, okay? But that was, I just had to say, different times, different strokes, okay?- cocaine, it was, it came with, if you had to sniff a lot, your nose, or it was bleeding, like – women, not so much, maybe they didn’t snort as much or as hard, but, ladies, no – but for the fellas, well, topics are hard, right? They’re just hard)….

  • Ghenghis McCann

    A day before that meeting, Trump horrified Tillerson by comparing Afghanistan war strategy to sprucing up an ailing restaurant.

    No wonder Tillerson was horrified, doesn’t Gordon Ramsay have copyright on TV shows about sprucing up ailing restaurants? Might lead to a law suit.

    • laughingnome

      nuclear kitchen nightmares

    • cmd resistor

      Horrified is what I was when this creep was elected. I remember thinking there have been plenty of presidents I didn’t like, many that were shitty, but up till now I had not been horrified by one.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    I guess if we have 4000 and he wanted to bump it up to 32,000 it’s literally true that he didn’t ask for “tenfold,” but WHY AM I PLAYING HIS GAME?

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT; but holy shit, racists are fucking stupid as fuck.

    http://cheezburger.com/281862/teacher-gets-fired-for-racist-comment-to-student

    The comments defending this teacher are just fucking dumb.

    • Proud Liberal

      To be fair, there were many comments denouncing that racist fuck.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Indeed, I’m one of ’em.

        Cyan Pretzel, or something…

  • Phoenixdoglover

    Don’t tell Drumpf about the “Mine Shaft Gap”
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybSzoLCCX-Y

    • laughingnome

      Someone should tell Trump Dr. Strangeglove is a satire not an instructional film.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I like the subtle pun there too – ‘mine shaft’ sounds like ‘Meinschaft’, which means group or community.

  • jesterpunk

    Trump is a fucking Moran.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/10/11/trump-nbc-broadcast-license-243667

    “Fake @NBCNews made up a story that I wanted a ‘tenfold’ increase in our U.S. nuclear arsenal. Pure fiction, made up to demean. NBC = CNN!” Trump wrote on Twitter Wednesday morning, equating the two TV news outlets he has most often lashed out against. “With all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country!”

    • Wookie Monster

      Does he know that networks don’t have licenses? The licenses go to their individual affiliates, which are often owned by a separate company.

      Oh, and neither do cable channels like CNN.

      • jesterpunk

        Its pretty safe to say that he doesnt know that.

        • Roadstergal

          It’s pretty safe to say that in general.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    He wants the rubble to bounce bigly!

    • Ghenghis McCann

      For a second I read ruble there. But then it wouldn’t surprise me if he arranged a war to help his currency speculation, or his debts to the Russian banks.

      • Roadstergal

        I did, too…

      • Bobathonic

        Rubles for rubble.

  • cheetojeebus

    This is what happens when you find a stranger in the alps.

    • arglebargle

      Otzi?

  • TJ Barke

    This is a fucking Orwellian presidency. Everything Donnie says to his followers is both true and false. Yes he does want tenfold increase in the nuclear arsenal/no that’s just NBC lies. No TRex didn’t call him a fucking moron, that’s fake news/I’d totally beat TRex on an IQ test…

  • greyXstar

    My brain is broken trying to read his scrambled nonsense.

    • cmd resistor

      Wow, I read it when he first said it but for some reason it seems even worse today. He makes Palin look coherent.

  • The Wanderer

    4,000 warheads is more than enough to destroy human civilization as we know it. What’s his fucking problem?

    • MynameisBlarney

      His problem?

      Where to start?

    • TJ Barke

      But is it enough to totally sterilize the earth, smart guy?

    • laughingnome

      The problem is Trump’s mom and dad didn’t love him.

      • Mildred Broxon

        And who can blame them?

    • Roadstergal

      A Trump presidency is more than enough to destroy human civilization as we know it.

    • CripesAmighty

      Because it’s not enough to destroy human civilization BIGLY!

    • Wookie Monster

      Because he can’t stand the idea that previous presidents had more than he does.

      • laineypc

        As long as he has the bigliest anything, good or bad, that’s what is important. That’s how you MAGA!

        • Eileen Besse

          Well, he’s certainly got the MOST advanced case of syphillis….

    • arglebargle

      small dick attached to HUGE asshole

    • Baconzgood

      “What’s his fucking problem?”

      You better get comfortable. This is going to be a LOOOOOONG talk….

  • Baconzgood

    I know Einstein always went around saying how smart he was using disjointed and fragmented sentences. That’s what smrt people do. Everyone knows that.

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      He really said “God wouldn’t play dice with the Universe”….uh, Trump’s election I think disputes that…………

  • beatbort

    I’m really beginning to take this electing of Trump personally. He is putting my family in harm’s way and that pisses me off in a way that transcends politics and makes me want to…well, I won’t complete the thought for fear of being banned.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Standard commenter state of affairs these days.

    • BigCSouthside

      I cannot find any motivation for voting for trump that does not have selfishness and ignorance at its core.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    MAYBE he thinks that when he stomped his feet and clapped his hands….

    He should have clicked his heels, then he’d be back home, wherever that might be.

    • TJ Barke

      The mirror mirror universe?

  • Crystalclear12

    OK. . .
    This isn’t getting better.
    Time to start drugging the diet coke.

    • Christopher Story

      According to Alex Jones, they already are.

      • Crystalclear12

        Apparently not enough.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    FAKE NEWS!!! I highly doubt it was just wanting more nukes—I’m sure he’s got a list that rolls out the door.

  • Viktor

    Trump even Tweeted about NBC’s story, ” at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? ”
    A President threatening a broadcasters licence. That’s entering into dangerous territory. That’s countries turning into dictator ruled, like Turkey or the Philippines . Scary

    • jesterpunk

      He did that during the campaign when he threatened to open libel laws to allow him to sue people he doesnt like for hurting his feelings. But he really cant do what he wants because he is a fucking moron.

    • CripesAmighty

      Yeah, let him try it. First, individual stations are licensed, not the network; second, NBC (and its affiliates) would tell him to fuck off, and he’d be laughed out of court.

      • Viktor

        The head of the FCC is a big Trump guy.

        • CripesAmighty

          Yeah, but it’d still be a clear 1A violation. Pai’d get hooted out of the courtroom right along with him.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            How fast is the Senate approving his court nominees, after 8 years of stonewalling Obama?

          • CripesAmighty

            Well, ya gotta point, there.

      • Eileen Besse

        But he’s used to that….

    • Baconzgood

      It he does he’d risk impeachment even by his own party. If anything is a clear violation of the 1st amendment it’s that.

    • Bad Tom

      I’d love to see whether Trump was called a fucking moron litigated in an actual courtroom with rules of evidence and cross examinations.

      Sure, Trump! Bring it.

      Discovery would be so delicious.

      • Baconzgood

        Exhibit 1A-10,813A: these tweets

  • Crystalclear12

    Who knew weaponized bat shit crazy would be more dangerous than nukes?

  • btwbfdimho

    Trump deserves the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for being able to transform daily life into pure bullshit.

    • Proud Liberal

      He succeeded in making me know what hate is. After 60 years, I had no clue.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Missed Nixon, did you?…

        • Proud Liberal

          I despised Nixon, but not the kind of visceral hatred I feel for Trump.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            My ral was pretty visced back then…

          • Courser_Resistance

            Revulsion and disgust, also too.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Kissinger, too. I hate Trump for having his picture splattered across the media.

  • Proud Liberal
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Eminem libelz!! Nobody could be as vulgar as Trump.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Don’t worry. I’m sure Kid Rock will respond on Donnie’s behalf….

  • Anna Rompage

    Seeing that I swore off drinking cocktails, except on special occasions, it’s times like these that makes me so thankful that there’s tasty 9.5% Imperial IPAs out there…

  • Baconzgood

    Most people would think having 4,000 instead of 32,000 nukes is a good thing. But not Trump, he’s smart and thinks outside the box.

    • Anna Rompage

      With 32,000 nukes, we could even target all of our allies, just to make sure they’re giving us their fair share of their NATO fees….

      • Wonky Magoo

        If we set them all off at once, from the same place, would they knock Earth out of orbit?

        • arglebargle

          Only one way to find out.

        • Baconzgood

          That would fix global warming.

          • Yellerduck

            Depends on which way it got knocked. Getting sucked into the heliosphere would def enhance the tanning process!

        • Bad Tom

          No.

          But within a year, no one would be left to care.
          Except the cockroaches.

      • jesterpunk

        We would even have enough left over to nuke any state that doesnt worship the Moron in Chief.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        And those mackerel, so high and mighty, thinking they are some how holy!

      • Bad Tom

        With 32,000 nukes, we actually targeted all of our enemy’s assets multiple times, with uncoordinated plans from multiple services. If executed, we would likely have bombed our own bombers, no joke.

        It was a mess, even as a plan.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Trump thinks, eh? Assumes facts not in evidence.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Even Reagan talked about eliminating nuclear weapons. Than he wanted to put them on trains.

      • Baconzgood

        It’s more bizarre if you read why exactly he wanted to do it.

      • cmd resistor

        He did put them on trains, didn’t he? I vaguely remember going to a protest in Atlanta on an overpass underneath which passed a train carrying some kind of warheads to Savannah.

    • Bright Bart

      he haz a very good brain and will use it one of these days.

    • NastyBossetti

      It’s un-American to believe that fewer of anything is a good thing. We must always be in pursuit of MOAR and BIGGER everything.

    • Querolous

      Cheryl Rofer, a scientist who studies nuclear policy, explains that the US only has one facility that can “manufacture the fissile parts of nuclear weapons”: Los Alamos National Lab in New Mexico. Los Alamos, per Rofer, “can maybe produce 80 a year.” It would take Los Alamos at least 350 years to put together the stuff necessary to fill Trump’s request. https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/10/11/16458104/trump-nukes-nbc-thousands https://twitter.com/CherylRofer/status/918084724001685506

  • James Baskin

    Even I know that NBC does not equal CNN. Even if you rearrange the letters to CNB, it’s still not CNN.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Unless B also equals N.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Bah…..

    • Major_Major_Major

      But if B is of equal value to N, and applying the commutative property:
      B==N, therefore NBC==NNC, rewriting, NNC=CNN, so the same.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        C is the 3rd letter in the Latin alphabet. N is the 2nd letter in the Incanese alphabet and B is the 11th in the Mermaid sonnet. Multiply them and they add up to 666: Or Satan News Network.

        • Daniel

          But in Latin, “Satan” begins with an I!

      • Bobathonic

        That’s looking suspiciously like maths.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Let me check that with my graphing calculator. Ha! 80085 spells boobs!

  • Daniel

    Trump is now musing reasonably about withdrawing NBC’s broadcasting lisence.

    Somewhere Milo and Anne Coulter are breaking out the poster board and markers to protest this attempted infringement of free speech.

    • Proud Liberal

      Okay, this is not even remotely okay.

      • Daniel

        You’re forgetting that once Hillary switched the TV off during a news programme.

        BOTH SIDES DO IT.

    • jesterpunk
    • greyXstar

      Good game America! 240 years is a great run for anything.

      • Daniel

        I know of older barns.

    • Ray in VT

      I like to imagine that in that picture that they used he was pretending that his fingers were some sort of laser gun and that he was yelling “pew, pew”.

  • Jus_Wonderin

    That last quote. Fuck. The man is not just a moron, he is INSANE.

    • Anna Rompage

      There’s few things in life more insufferable than an insane moran…

      • Bad Tom

        There is one:
        An insane moron with nuclear weapons.

  • mailman27

    There’s nothing quite like Trump’s freestylin’.

  • gene108

    Trump just overloads our ability to keep up with his awefulness. I mean in normal times a President wanting to undo decades of nuclear arms reduction treaties would dominate the headlines and be a major scandal for the White House to respond to.

    But there’s the continued neglect of Puerto Rico, the tax cuts for the rich to permanently lock in income inequality for generations, attempts to take away and/or undermine healthcare access, the unprecedented amounts of conflicts of interest Trump and his Cabinet have, the Russia collusion, the White House sanctioned attempts at nationwide voter suppression, and probably more I am not thinking of.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Jamie Dimon was on NBC with an article today trying to tell us all how tax cuts will be great for the working class. Jamie Fucking Dimon! That’s how far left NBC is!….

      • gene108

        I am getting more and more sympathetic to the French Revolution, where they just wiped out the aristocracy.

        Guys like Dimon need to know fear that the masses will kill them, if they keep being so greedy.

      • Iron Monkey

        He is one of those progressive plutocrats.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Because the working class won’t be able to hear his asinine arguments from behind his solid gold castle.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s sort of a nightmare, ain’t it?

    • Courser_Resistance

      Bottom line, our democracy is crumbling before our eyes. The Russia Regime is tearing it apart right before our eyes.

      I don’t want to live here anymore

      • Parakeetist

        I’m going to ask my Mom again if we can live in England.

        • Daniel

          Don’t. It’s raining.

          • Roadstergal

            If it’s not raining nuclear weapons, I’m ok with it.

      • OrG

        From reading On The Beach, Australia seems to be the right place.

      • Alan

        Me too. I’m too old, Canada won’t take me now.

      • Eileen Besse

        Himself and I both have Irish citizenship. We thought we’d use it for Euro travel, but perhaps something else might happen….

    • cmd resistor

      I think that is part of why he didn’t flame out during the campaign. So many horrible things, not enough time to beat each one to death before a new one came along.

      • HooverVilles

        So correctly and succintly stated.

  • Oblios_Cap

    good genes, very good genes

    Trump was really trying to convey the fact that he prefers Levis because they make sizes that can he can squeeze his fat ass into.

  • OrG

    Moron is being generous.

    • Bobathonic

      As long as we’re using dated mental health definitions, I’d say he’s an idiot.

      • OrG

        Fucking idiot.

      • laughingnome

        Dotard – I’d go with dotard.

      • Parakeetist

        Anybody got the DSM-V handy?

      • LucindathePook

        Imbecile, no?

        • Bobathonic

          I’m guessing bottom rung for old Stumpfingers.

      • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

        nincompoop

    • Iron Monkey

      Or insulting to Moronic-Americans.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I think we need to have a serious discussion about putting Grandpa in a facility that is better equipped to care for his quickly deteriorating brain.

    • Alan

      Particarly difficult if you actually give a fuck about grandpa. In this case….

  • TJ Barke

    There are millions of people in this country that think this moron is a genius. Millions. Let that sink in.

    • gene108

      Well my god, Democrats thought a black man was a good President. They really lowered the bar.

      /Trump supporter

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Yeah. And I get to have Thanksgiving dinner with some of them. Probably why I never claim to be genetically superior.

      • Alan

        I skip holidays. Fuck all of them.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
      ― George Carlin

      • Roadstergal

        Statistics libel! That would be only true if intelligence were normally distributed. :p

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Yikes… So there could be alot more just partly stupid people?

  • bubbuhh
    • Marion in Savannah

      If I never see this again it will be WAAAY too soon.

  • BigCSouthside

    It’s nice to be reminded of the fact that the trump family actually believes they are genetically superior

    • TJ Barke

      Most rich people do.

    • Daniel

      Evolution has favoured them- the absence of a chin makes giving birth to one much easier.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        If you do it backwards…

        • Daniel

          Eric.

      • cmd resistor

        So superior they had to get plastic surgery….

  • jesterpunk
  • WotsAllThisThen

    Because when you’re standing neck deep in a room full of gasoline you want to be the guy with the most matches. -The Art of the Deal

  • motmelere

    I’ve said it before but it bears repeating: IQ is not a percentage based score, 95 is not as impressive as you think it is, you fucking moron.

    • bubbuhh

      A sub-normal becoming the Preznit iz kinda impressive

      • MynameisBlarney

        Sub-genius.

        • Querolous

          Bob lible!

      • Bad Tom

        But not in a good way.

      • Rags

        Not the first, by a long shot

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s not an A?!

  • btwbfdimho

    Moron-in-Chief has said nothing about the fires in California, correct?

    • Daniel

      He did. He sent them his warmest regards.

      That’s not a joke.

      • Major_Major_Major

        He was just trying to get the rest of the nation fired up.

        • Marion in Savannah

          Jeez — don’t start a flame war.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Want an ash hole.

    • Parakeetist

      He does not care.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Jerry Brown sez not nice things about Big Orange, so, no help for you.

      • Roadstergal

        Everybody except for the redneck farmers up and down I-5 said not nice things about Big Orange.

    • PubOption

      All the farms and vineyards are burned, right? We won’t need those Messican workers any more, won’t need them. Deport them all!

  • bubbuhh

    Expect teh impeachment stuff will have to wait until after teh 2018 elections. Gonna be an awful 15 months or so.

    • Wonky Magoo

      Can I just go into a voluntary coma? Please?

      • Yellerduck

        I call that Wild Turkey.

      • BMW

        And then you can wake up like Rick Grimes in the first of episode of “The Walking Dead” wondering what catastrophe has befallen humanity.

  • rosenbomb

    Fetishizing weaponry and military power is a trait commonly found in dictatorships! Fun fact.

    *weeps*

    • laughingnome

      Fascism basic.

      • rosenbomb

        The dismantling of our democracy continues apace

  • Baconzgood

    Soooo. NBC and CNN are “FAKE” but Infowars and James O’Keeffe are responsible journalists.

    “FAKE”? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e624d67d4e6e1e112983420141ae308263e36a45e58b55e8674855a2d83ab711.jpg

    • bubbuhh

      Cuz Alex Jones and minions are always accurate and sober

      The Alex Jones Show 6-25-2017 EXCLUSIVE: Feds Plan To Drop Russia Investigation, Left Plans To Riot
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp84bZwZcMQ

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Well, black athletes silently protesting are “sons of bitches,” but Nazis screaming and carrying tiki torches are “good people,” so….opposite world?

  • Iron Monkey

    When the Secretary of State says you are a moron he was being diplomatic. Cause he is a diplomat.

    • btwbfdimho

      The top diplomat in the country…

      • Bad Tom

        The best we have.
        Sad.

        • HooverVilles

          Not the best we have. The best the preznit could find.
          And yes, SAD!

  • BigCSouthside

    I wonder how many times a day it crosses John Kelly’s mind to lock the Oval Office door and draw the shades then beat the shit out of trump.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Or replace him with a doppelganger.

      • Bad Tom

        Maybe one of those high-def holograms.
        ——-
        Nah. Everyone would get suspicious when it started making sense all of a sudden.

    • Roadstergal

      It can’t possibly be as many times a day as it crosses my mind that I wish Kelly would draw the shades and beat the shit out of Trump.

  • btwbfdimho

    So, it’s all about the genes, right? The “best”.
    That’s the old argument of white supremacists: “Don’t mix your genes with those others”!
    I would like to see his (or Richard Spencer’s) DNA test…

    • cmd resistor

      He sures talks about genes a lot. His, the uncle, the little grandchild.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      His genes are totally acid-washed.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Distinctively distressed.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    There’s all sorts of crazy birds chipping and wheezing away out back. Imma go enjoy this beautiful Fall day and get a couple hours of bird watching in. Before the nukular winter sets in, that is.

    • Wonky Magoo

      Titmice? Titmouses? I love those guys, they sound like they’re having a space war.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        They’ll show up in the winter. This past week my home airspace has seen the totally not common Ruby-crowned Kinglet, Eastern Phoebe, Northern Flicker, White-throated Sparrow, Yellow-rumped Warbler and House Wren.

    • bubbuhh

      Iz Alex Jones or Roger Stone out there?

    • thewalkindude
  • Wonky Magoo

    I’ve been so nauseated today. I was going to complain about it later in the open thread, but I’m not sure it’s off-topic. My country is at war with itself, the planet is dying, every awful idea humanity’s ever had is coming back into vogue, and it’s like I’m watching the whole country relive my childhood. I go to therapy and it’s like, “Well, yep, things sure are still awful.” It might be last night’s curry had gone bad, but even if I don’t have food poisoning (please oh please don’t let it be food poisoning), the news alone is more than enough to make a person sick.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Be nice to yourself. You’ll be fine. We’re gonna get this country back. Take a deep breath. Take a walk. Eat something you’ve been wanting to for a long time – comfort food. We’ll keep the Grrrr light on for you…..

    • Beanz&Berryz

      On the bright side, I think the spices in curry generally make food poisoning less likely… so it’s just anxiety about the world headed off into a shitty cul-de-sac.

    • CripesAmighty

      Just add some more cayenne and cumin and have another bowl of curry. You’ll feel better. (Now, two-week old hotdogs, that’s another story. Just. Don’t.)

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Obviously Tillerson was primed to tell any eavesdroppers listening that his boss Trump is a YOOGE MORON, MOST TREMENDOUS FUCKING MORON ON EARTH, SUCH A MORON WE’RE GONNA GET SICK OF MORONS.

    My head is spinning.

  • Relativicus

    I am definitely sick of morons, but that probably dates back to the run-up to Iraqtric Boogaloo.

  • Roadstergal

    We have intelligence services. We have powerful drugs. Why can’t the former get the latter into Trump’s diet coke? It’s an urgent matter of national security at this point.

    • Alan

      I would think Hillary/illuminati/alien/lizard conspiracy would have gotten to him by now.

      • Roadstergal

        If half of the things the Right said about Hillz were true, Trump would have a [redacted] up his [redacted] and be rotting in [redacted] by now.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Dotard Chump had to have the phrase, “nuclear triad” explained to him during the campaign. It should have been a disqualifying event for him (as it would have been for any Dem candidate), but he was given a pass and a “Meh, it don’t matter” by all on the right.

    • “If you don’t like your teachers (Obama and Hillary) you hire someone to break into the school, spray paint Nazi bullshit on the walls and break everything. Thanks for the opportunity, folks” — Donald J. Trump

      http://jcarey329.weebly.com/uploads/2/5/1/8/25185680/2604697_orig.jpg

      Dark sarcasm, sure that’s OK now suddenly

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding!

  • Weird Fishes
    • Stud puffin! (I think…it’s hard to tell)

      • Weird Fishes

        Yeah.. I dunno, sorry. Reminded me of Opus, from Bloom County

    • The Wanderer

      He’s truckin’ like the Doo-Dah Man!

    • Eileen Besse

      Thank you.

      • Weird Fishes

        You’re welcome!

        Y’know, sometimes what we all need is a puffin.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    I should never read transcripts of the claptrap spewed by Donnie Dotard’s flapping yap. That quotation at the end, that scatshatted two-scooped word purée alachoad made my brain reboot. AGAIN! Donnie, the rhoidheaded thumbskull can’t construct a coherent sentence to save his miserable fucking life.

    Gottdammit all to Hell and gone, when are we going to boot this taintsurfing malodoerous grumpy twittering sharttoad out of the fucking White House? Or is he going to get us all blowed-up instead?

    I hate this fucking dribbling goatee timeline.

  • I’m sad we’re being ‘led’ by this fucking moron…

    I’m really, really, super fucking depressed that 55 million or so Americans looked at this fucking moron every day, listened to his argle bargle word salad and stupidity, and thought, “That’s the man I want to have nuclear fucking weapons!!!!”

    Jesus Christ… FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Winning!….

      • I think if I could replace Trump with Charlie Sheen… I would… I’m not sure it could get worse.

        • Finnibar87

          At the very least, Sheen could call his dad, pres. Bartlett.

          • Antonin Dvorak

            GMTA.

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Well, Charlie would most likely have his father for an adviser; it’ll be an improvement.

          • blaid droog

            Hell. Senile, 92 year old poppy bush would be a better president than 45.

          • ez

            his dad also played the wacko President in “The Dead Zone” that pushes the button to send the Missiles flying…hallelujah.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN
      • blaid droog

        That pretty much covers any situation.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Oh darn it!

    • blaid droog

      In defense of those 55 million retards, they are retards with no education.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    He is the Hollow Man.

    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    This is the way the world ends
    Not with a bang but a Tweeter.

  • Finnibar87

    The rantings of a moron.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That’s “fucking moron”, FIFY.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So I just remembered that Dolt is 71 years old. Imagine, being that old and still being that stupid. I thought one was supposed to gain wisdom as one aged. Instead, this guy consults with Henry Kissinger. Keyring Christ what a maroon.

    • blaid droog

      I’m close to 71 and even in first grade I was smarter than that stupid sonofabitch is now.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Nice! Though that’s a pretty low bar. I think most dogs and all cats are smarter than the Dolt.

        • blaid droog

          My dog isn’t as clever as she thinks she is. My cat, on the other hand, is outright Machiavellian

    • Sekhmet1

      It still stuns me to realise my mother and stepmother are the same age as Il Douche. Dad is a year or so older. They have conversations where they use polysyllabic words correctly and everything they say is comprehensible.

    • Roadstergal

      My dad is older than that and has had Parkinson’s for many years, and still gets through sentences with more aplomb.

      Mostly because they actually start as coherent thoughts from start to finish in his brain, even if his motor neurons struggle to get them out.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        My best to your dad. Parkinson’s is a tough, tough thing. Especially for someone as smart as he seems. I mean, he raised you!

  • We need more nukes in case Puerto Rico keeps dissing him.

  • Jenny

    Kim jong Drumph will feel very bigly with so many nukes!

  • blaid droog

    Someone needs to tell him that pordo rigo is not a spanish appetizer, but an island out in the ocean. A really big ocean with nukular bombs floating all around it.

  • TippingHeadon

    “With all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what
    point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country!”

    So many fucks.

  • Daniel

    Oh, oh, dog biscuit, and when he is happy he doesn’t get snappy now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even
    now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, These native children make this and sell you the joint, and it is
    fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the
    women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, a mother’s boy has never wept, nor dashed a thousand kim it’s gonna take
    them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators,
    the Iranians are great negotiators, Mother is the best bet and don’t let Satan draw you too fast so, and they, they just killed, they
    just killed us.Please crack down on the Chinaman’s friends and Hitler’s commander.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      You okay, Daniel?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I think you might want to consider doing a brain reboot right this minute.

    • suziq

      Welp, I think this here article just broke Daniel.
      Though I will probably be right behind him.

    • vivian

      Daniel – unplug and count to thirty reeeal sloooow, then plug in again and see if it works.

    • PincheMacha

      best salad eva right here

  • Opiwan

    Please stop quoting his speeches, I need to STOP bleeding out of my eyes, not have it recur multiple times a day.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I need to develop a browser app that scans incoming text looking for trumpspew and replacing the text with images of kittens, puppies, baby animals, cute ponies and unicorns. It would help put a stop to needless eyeball exsanguination.

      • Opiwan

        oooooh, mandatory exsanguination upfist!

    • TJ Barke

      It’s more tolerable than the uncontrollable vomiting and seizures from hearing his voice…

    • Roadstergal

      Bleeding out of the eyes is not covered under Trumpcare.

      Neither is anything else.

      • Opiwan

        Only bleeding out of the whatever has a chance, I’m guessing… oh wait, that would help women. Forget THAT.

  • Aaron Wise

    “The biggest problem that the world has is nuclear weapons. Global
    warming is not our big problem. Our big problem is the maniacs that are
    controlling weaponry that has never been like it is today.”

    –Agent Orange

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/1920/1*vLVkZ19eY_vHD1smCCpxhA.jpeg

    “Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.”

  • Randy Riddle

    “The president referenced the highest number on the chart — about 32,000 in the late 1960s — and told his team he wanted the U.S. to have that many now, officials said.”

    Dear god, the man is literally Rip Van Winkle.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And most of those were “tactical” nukes…

  • GRH

    Next he’ll be demanding that the CHEM-TRAILS MUST STOP!!!!!

  • vivian

    Behold World: America’s first bona fide shit-stupid President.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I honestly think Bush 2 was dumber than this guy. Rarely is the question asked, Is our Republican Presidents learning?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        no

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          And if they are, they’re learning the wrong stuff.

      • vivian

        W was king of the malapropism and criminally negligent, but he didn’t have us all living in a constant fear of nuclear Armageddon and/or crazed RWNJ’s gunning up the local market because DJT said it’s patriotic to hate other Americans.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          I was, in my head anyway, just comparing the two on straight up dumbness, not criminality, venality or ability to induce straight-up panic. Still think 2 was the dumbest Predisent we’ve ever had. Could be wrong though.

          • vivian

            They should have a Dumb-off! Can you imagine a debate between W and Trump? We’ll get Sarah Palin to moderate just to make things more clear…

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            Holy moley! That would be…I dunno…either awesome or TLC’s next reality show.

          • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

            She can bring her survey markers!

          • CripesAmighty

            Sorry, no. While Dubya was your garden-variety barfly-dope. We are dealing with a literal moron–his cognitive processes and critical thinking ability appear to mirror that of a toddler.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    So we need to surround Dolt 45 with people who will lie to him and only show him propaganda in order to control him? I mean, if the chart showed 2,000 as the highest number of warheads, he would’ve insisted we get to that number, right? So Kelly’s game, replacing the people close to the Dolt with non-insane people, may actually work? We are so fucked. And I’m trying so hard to enjoy it. I’m closing my eyes and fantasizing and everything.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Thanks Susan Sarandon and Jill Stein. We can certainly see why you thought Hillary was more dangerous than Fat Don. Not.

      • TootsStansbury

        And the GOP and their slobbering media pets.

      • ltmcdies

        whenever I think of those two…I think of that guy with bat in the Walking Dead.

        I like that bat.

      • Claire

        I think I’d rather give credit to the 63 million people who went into the voting booth and pulled the lever for this malignant asshole.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          Yah. I want to ask each of them why but I’m afraid I would not like the derpish answer and 62.5 million would probably do it again.

  • ez

    The first one at Hiroshima was a gimme, it was five minutes after that one at Nagasaki when folks began to think, Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…

    • vivian

      …uh… not all folks, mind you. Some of us got it the first time….
      And others (DJT) never will.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I guess “deterrence” is too complicated a concept for him ?

    • Mildred Broxon

      Too many syllables.

    • Paperless Tiger

      It’s demeaning.

  • He reportedly made the request after seeing a downward-sloping curve on a briefing slide charting the steady reduction in US nuclear weapons since the 1960s.

    Basically, Trump is afraid of the number of nukes going DOWN, but not his poll numbers going DOWN…

    Because nukes can’t clap for him.
    http://www.pinknews.co.uk/images/2016/02/Please-Clap-Shopped_640x345_acf_cropped-1.jpg

  • Proud Liberal
  • OrdinaryJoe

    Commentary very much worth a revisit as we walk through this mushroom clouded season.

    http://unintentional-irony.blogspot.com/2007/08/phony-tough-and-crazy-brave.html

  • I suspect someone may have posted the new Randy Rainbow song but if not here it is
    https://youtu.be/LTosB6V_V24

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    “A day before that meeting, Trump horrified Tillerson by comparing Afghanistan war strategy to sprucing up an ailing restaurant.”

    Huh. I actually would have thought that someone like Tillerson would have been comfortable with that comparison. My opinion of him is slightly higher now.

  • TootsStansbury

    This lunatic wants to use nuclear weapons. He wants that to be his legacy. Bannon and the unholy oligarch alliance wants it so they can rob and subjugate what’s left of us. Fuck. Fuck, this is our world now. Its over.

  • diogenez

    The dimmest of bulbs.

    • Erala Contratista

      Knife block, no knives……

  • VirginiaMorningBlend

    WTF did he just say?? By Crom’s crusty coffee mug, that boy can’t into coherent words.

  • Boscoe

    Ok, I have to admit i actually clicked on the video because I was CERTAIN that block quote HAD to be satire. Jesus save us all. (And I don’t even believe in Jesus)

    • Sekhmet1

      So did I!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    This is what happens when you elect the dumbest penis in the room instead of the smartest vagina. You get dick everywhere, under the cushions, North Korea, Putin’s underwear, healthcare…just everywhere. And while some dick is good, too much dick is just stupid.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      “too much dick is just stupid.” Should I ever get to that point, I’ll be sure and let everyone know.

  • Lurkylu

    i read his nuclear speech from right to left, in reverse, beginning at the bottom. was easier to comprehend.

  • TootsStansbury

    How many mini strokes has dotty suffered from, anyway? Three? Seven? Remember the weird flashing red light at the Whitehouse?

  • Hanaka

    “What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

    • mancityRed6

      I know, right?

  • azeyote

    well they could gold plate one of the nukes, and shove it up his ass – then – to the moon alice

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Good job, GOP. Okay Putin, its time to polonium your puppet.
    EDIT: with votes

    • Why? We’re not going to war with Putin. However this all turns out, I see no downside for him. He may have preferred alternative timelines, but as far as I can see, it looks good for him. The best we can do is survive, then try to repair the damage to our economy, the planet, our reputation, reintroduce all of the Obama* policies he is reversing, etc.

      * And Clinton’s, and Reagan’s.

  • bookish

    Fucking Trump is going to kill us all.

  • Mike Steele

    Attn, folks in Hazard, KY…you will not be immune from the fallout, you gun-humping, cousin-fucking yokels When it all goes down, y’all will be at ground zero…get a grip!

    • Joe Beese

      If Daisy Duke was your cousin, you’d fuck her too.

  • mancityRed6

    the fact that anyone could hear that disgusting shit show of a word salad and say “yep, I’m voting for him” is just fucking with my head.

  • Mavenmaven

    “Total fake news. I wanted a “thousandfold increase” not some liddle tenfold increase for low IQ people. “

    • Me not sure

      It’s liddle’. It feature the liddle’-known extraneous trumpostrophe.

      • Mavenmaven

        Lol’

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        I believe in High Trumpeesian, you add an extra trumpostrophe to a word to signify that Trump popped a boner when writing it.

        • Me not sure

          PREFECT’!

  • Joe Beese

    Why must we demean him??

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Because he’s there.

    • Bebecca

      We don’t demean him, he does it himself every time he opens his mouth.

    • Jennaratrix

      We don’t have to. He demeans himself.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Because the pantheon of the Benign Deities includes a divinity dedicated to JUSTICE.

      Until the day donnie is locked up in prison it is up to us to keep pointing out his numerous, factually demonstrated, flaws and misdeeds. It is a DUTY to point it out.

  • Notreelyhelping

    Jesus! Well, it stands to reason that if you’re the president, you can get the best speed in the world. Jet pilot speed, not some bathtub crank or even Rx speed. More like GOD MY HEART FEELS LIKE A FUCKING ALLIGATOR, TO THE BATTLEMENTS! speed.

    But, you know, if you burn mondo premium gasoline in a Rambler, it’s still a Rambler. And Trump is definitely a Rambler.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Genius analysis!

    • RMKH

      Rambler Libelz!!! My first car was a 63 Rambler Classic. I took it lots of places Ramblers had never been. And the seats folded down all the way, so there was plenty to do once we got there. I loved that car and will not stand for comparisons with Agent Orange. Please change your comparison to something more suitable. Vega? Pacer? Yuuuugo? Travant? Yeah, Travant, that’s it.

      • Roadstergal

        AMC Gremlin?

      • Erala Contratista

        K cars????

        • Catstro

          As the former owner of a KCar, there is literally nothing anyone could say about one that would amount to KCar libel.

      • Querolous

        The Brits made a car called the Robin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PbWWchoXjk

      • Notreelyhelping

        He does have the innate grace of a Gremlin or a Thing. (Cue those pining for their long-lost Gremlins or Things.)

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      Hey, he was a Studio 54 habitue if I’m not mistaken, yes? Tho they claim he was the boring one (who ‘just’ liked to watch supermodels getting screwed), his behaviour smacks of amphetamine psychosis if ya asks me. Just a black beauty now and then, a few brown & clears, handful of christmas trees.. keeps the weight off and the mind sharp. Not that I’d know, of course..

    • Yugo.

  • WIDTAP

    Now Trump adds to his tweets on NBC to say that the FCC should pull “its license”.

    Can someone tell the Moron-in-Chief that the Federal Communications Commission doesn’t license networks? Networks are content producers. Individual stations are licensed broadcasters. The Federal Government does not license content producers for acceptable content.

    • CripesAmighty

      Shhhhh.

  • chazmanr

    Trump is a YOOGE MORON, MOST TREMENDOUS FUCKING MORON ON EARTH, SUCH A MORON WE’RE GONNA GET SICK OF MORONS.

    Didn’t everyone hit that point after the election of Louie Gohmert?

    • Begin Anew Day

      Poor Louie! His kind of stupid made him stand out in the crowd.

      Now with donnie in town no one pays any attention to Louie, eclipsed by a brighter sun in the firmament of Stoooopid.

  • Blackest Noobs

    someone ought to tell him increasing our nuclear weapons arsenal does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in increasing his penis size nor does it make him or the US look STRONGER.

    Trump represents weakness but in all honestly, he’s just the mirror.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Does this ICBM make me look fat?

      • stubbornirishlass

        Does this ICBM make me look like a fathead?

  • Paperless Tiger

    Boy, we sure got to the brink of thermonuclear war in a hurry, but at least he saved us from those emails.

  • Sekhmet1

    I recognise the individual words as English, but collectively they are incomprehensible in the order that he spouted that word salad. What the actual fuck is he on about? Sarah Palin is more coherent.

  • Pisto75666

    I need a nap every time I read one of his quotes.

    • Sekhmet1

      I usually need strong painkillers. Parsing that shit is just about migraine inducing.

    • renegade500

      I need a stiff drink. Which does sometimes lead to a nap.

      • Pisto75666

        I don’t drink but honestly I’m starting to rethink that decision.

        • Renee E. Babcock

          You’ll be in really good company if you do.

    • Perkniticky

      I first laugh maniacally, then need a nap.

      • Pisto75666

        If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry.

    • RobGinChicago

      After the anxiety builds up from watching him on TV, I need Immodium.

  • Jennaratrix

    Jesus CHRIST. He. Is. So. STUPID. Was he bragging lately about how high his IQ is? It was on the television when I was walking through somewhere this morning and I wouldn’t stand by long enough to listen, but I heard “greatest IQ, believe me” or some shit like that. First of all, a high IQ doesn’t mean you’re smart; it means you’re good at logic problems. Second of all, there is no way in HELL that “man” has an IQ above 70. Which again, doesn’t mean anything really.

    I still can’t believe this person is the president of the United States. I just can’t. My brain refuses to process it.

    • Perkniticky

      He is president because of people who think that insulting someone about their IQ level is the height of cleverness. Seriously, all the clickbait ads that appeared during the campaign saying you’ll be AMAZED which president has the highest IQ… that’s what gave us Trump.

      • Jennaratrix

        Well, I guess I’m part of the problem since I just dragged him over his IQ, but I didn’t vote for him.

    • stubbornirishlass

      That’s because he is a usurper, not an actual president.

      • Keith Taylor

        You are so right. I love you. Because you speak the truth, because you’re stubborn, and also because you’re Irish.
        He’d never have been able to get near the Oval Office without that 5-4 Supreme Court decision that weakened the Voting Rights Act, and also without the lying discriminatory flawed to hell in its execution Interstate Crosscheck System. Curse you, Kris Kobach.

        • stubbornirishlass

          (blushes) Don’t forget cute, I’m also cute.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        I saw that Mensa has offered to give IQ tests to Trump and the guy who called him a moron. Put up or shut up, Drumpf!

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Too true. My bro-in-law is hella smart, but jeez, has absolutely no common sense. He could inadvertently kill someone with a kitchen mixer & spend 10 minutes trying to get the hair out of it & never notice the corpse.

  • renegade500

    I admit, I wasn’t going to watch that video, because of the transcript. Then I started to read the transcript and said, nah, there’s no way that rambly mess is what he’s saying in the video.

    So I watched the video.

    God help us all, the transcript is exactly what he said.

    • Erala Contratista

      Thanks! I passed on the video and only read the first ‘graf when I remembered I just had a big birthday.
      Quit readin

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Actually, the transcript leaves out a “so” in one spot. Therefore it’s all #FAKENEWS and Ann Coulter is automatically First Consort.

  • covfefesumgame0005

    that is an insult to fucking morons!

  • Krombopulous Pichael

    ah yes of course.. NBC=CNN… as clear as it gets.. why didnt you just say that before?!

    facepalm x 1m

  • goonemeritus

    Trump would need to be actively managed by a crack team of Nobel laureates 24 hours a day to inspire to the level of moron.

  • SDGeoff3

    Does he believe he inherited his uncle’s alleged doctorate?

    • looksquirrels

      This uncle was adopted, right?

      And jeezy chreezy, is this guy ever insecure about his tiny IQ.

      • SDGeoff3

        Do we even know if Uncle John existed or is he one of lil’ Donnie’s figments?

        • MuttsRule

          Yes, John G. Trump did exist and yes, he was a brilliant scientist and MIT professor. See the NYT obituary, which details his achievements, including important contributions to radiation therapy and radar. . However, whether he actually sat down with his dimwitted nephew to explain nuclear weapons is a matter on which one can remain a skeptic.

          • SDGeoff3

            I’m inclined to be skeptical. The apple certainly flew iff the tree here.

          • Cat Cafe

            Yes, I just wrote the dialogue that probably happened between them (above). How he must have loathed his heinous brother and the dreadful, coarse, oaf of a nephew.

      • Keith Taylor

        Hey, I’m insecure about mine. I’d be afraid to take an IQ test. But then I don’t delude myself I’m smart and stable enough to be president of the U.S.A. Also, I comfort myself with the thought that the smartest aborigine on the continent of Australia, three hundred years ago, would surely have failed any I.Q. test in the western world, and the dumbest one, if he’d known there were men who couldn’t tell kangaroo tracks from wombat tracks at a glance, would’ve said sadly, “Those poor fellers must be retarded.”
        I rather think they’d both have recognized Trump as astoundingly ignorant and crass, too, even across the language barrier.

        • Cat Cafe

          Cro Magnon Man #1: WHO THAT?
          Cro Magnon Man #2: HE A MORON!
          Man #1: WHAT IS MORON
          Man #2: JUST LOOK AT HIM
          Man #1: Oh

          • Regret

            Why are they yelling?
            Do you believe decent hearing only evolved recently or something?

          • Cat Cafe

            They are yelling so they can hear each other over all the wolves baying and howling at the sight of Trump

    • Begin Anew Day

      Well he inherited everything else: the money, dad’s racism, his mothers charm.

      • SDGeoff3

        and her hair, from what I’ve seen.

  • CeeQ

    Who could have predicted that electing a man with rampant narcissistic disorders and a micro peen to constantly defend would lead directly to nuclear war??!!!!

    (Everyone. Fucking everyone with a working brain predicted this. Especially HER)

    • Begin Anew Day

      Those same people also understood that healthcare and Health Insurance were complicated.

  • JD Mulvey

    Dec, 2015

    Hugh Hewitt:
    “Mr. Trump, Dr. Carson just referenced the single most important job of the president, the command, the control and the care of our nuclear forces. And he mentioned the triad. The B-52s are older than I am. The missiles are old. The submarines are aging out. It’s an executive order. It’s a commander-in-chief decision.

    What’s your priority among our nuclear triad?”

    Trump: “Well, first of all, I think we need somebody absolutely that we can trust, who is totally responsible, who really knows what he or she is doing. That is so powerful and so important.

    And one of the things that I’m frankly most proud of is that in 2003, 2004, I was totally against going into Iraq because you’re going to destabilize the Middle East. I called it. I called it very strongly. And it was very important.

    But we have to be extremely vigilant and extremely careful when it comes to nuclear. Nuclear changes the whole ballgame. Frankly, I would have said get out of Syria; get out – if we didn’t have the power of weaponry today. The power is so massive that we can’t just leave areas that 50 years ago or 75 years ago we wouldn’t care. It was hand-to-hand combat.

    Yes, in 1940 soldiers only fought in hand-to-hand combat. The boxing related deaths of World War II were truly devastating.

    The biggest problem this world has today is not President Obama with global warming, which is inconceivable, this is what he’s saying. The biggest problem we have is nuclear – nuclear proliferation and having some maniac, having some madman go out and get a nuclear weapon. That’s in my opinion, that is the single biggest problem that our country faces right now.”

    Hewitt: “Of the three legs of the triad, though, do you have a priority? I want to go to Sen. Rubio after that and ask him.”

    Trump: “I think – I think, for me, nuclear is just the power, the devastation is very important to me.”

    • HogeyeGrex

      I think the boxing quip was Bernie. But yeah.

    • RobGinChicago

      Trump: “Well, first of all, I think we need somebody absolutely that we can trust, who is totally responsible, who really knows what he or she is doing. That is so powerful and so important.”

      I’ve got just the guy to fit that bill. He was simply the best on Dancing With the Stars;believe me, no one understands “high maintenance” more than Dick Perry… don’t those glasses make him look smart? Well, not smarter than me, I went to Wharton School of Business, yes Wharton, Wharton…Did you know I was top in my class? Well, I’m gonna ask my beeotch, Meeotch McConnell to make sure that Dirk Perry gets confirmed immediately because he needs to get to work on sprucing up the nuclear.

      • Cat Cafe

        See the thing is about the Orange Oaf, is that we all assume he’s lying about his class ranking or his GPA, and it just doesn’t occur to us that he’s flat-out LYING ABOUT GOING TO THE WHARTON SCHOOL OF BUSINESS TO BEGIN WITH. He didn’t. He went to Fordham U. Transferred to U. Penn, where he took real estate classes which are offered through the “Wharton” college division of their undergraduate program. No Wharton School of Business. No MBA. No graduate degree whatsoever. Not even close, unless you count the fact that he walked by their buildings sometimes, maybe.

        • Steely_Fan

          This is my shocked face.

    • HooverVilles

      And that says about our bigly sad loser of a preznit.

    • Steely_Fan

      Just a suggestion: turn off the italics for Yes, in 1940 soldiers only fought in hand-to-hand combat. The boxing related deaths of World War II were truly devastating. That’s you editorializing, right?

      ETA: I just read Hogeye’s non-comment below. Bernie was apparently on the show too?

  • Terpsichord

    That is some Grade A level Moron right there.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Oj for secret service? We need a runner for the football.

  • whitroth

    He did not get his uncle’s “good genes”, all he got was a raggedy set of genes from the dumpster outside the local thrift store….

    ITMFA, as it says on a pin a friend of a friend gave me.

    • Cat Cafe

      So, I actually looked up his uncle. He was the mirror image of Donald and his father–a brilliant electrical engineer with numerous inventions and a passel of awards, who worked for the betterment of society. I wonder if he could even bear to be in the same room as the Orange Ape. They were probably stuck together at a family wedding.

      John (the uncle): (sees he’s stuck sitting next to Donald and the prostitute he brought, tries to go to his happy place and think about the million-volt X-ray machine he’s in the process of inventing, says nothing)
      Donald: HEY! JOHNNIE BOY! Did you meet Desiree?
      John (smiles thinly, nods).
      Donald (boasting to the prostitute) That’s my uncle. He’s almost as smart as ME.
      (John tries not to choke on his glass of wine).
      Donald (continuing) HE INVENTED THE ATOM BOMB, it’s so cool.
      John (unable not to respond): Donald, I told you to stop lying about that. I had nothing to do with the atom bomb.
      Donald (boasting to the prostitute): He says nucular war is THE BEST.
      John: No, Donald. As I explained, it’s why we have the Treaty on the Non-Proliferation of Nuclear Weapons, commonly known as the Non-Proliferation Treaty or NPT, which is an international treaty whose objective is to prevent the spread of nuclear weapons and weapons technology, to promote cooperation in the peaceful uses of nuclear energy, and to further the goal of achieving nuclear disarmament and general and complete disarmament–
      Donald: What? I was just checking out that super model over there, I mean grab her by the pussy, right? (to prostitute) See? You probably didn’t understand my uncle, I did of course. He says nucular war is AWESOME.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Unless Trump is willing to take a lie detector about his statements in his Tweets, we have to assume he is lying. Why do the reporters in the WH press corps let him get away with this shit? Yellow Streak Donny never goes before the press. Too chicken?

    Lie detectors on Trump now !!!!!!

    • HooverVilles

      Unfortunately I think he could pass a lie detector test because he believes his own lies. I knew a couple of people who could pass the 5 year polygraph while other very honest people had problems with it. It puzzled me at first then I realized that the honest people tended to be be nervous and try to over think it, while those other 2 could say almost any disingenuous thing as these two deeply believed everything they spouted.
      In polygraphing there are always 4 possible outcomes TT TF FT & FF and those that believe their lies can produce the wrong test result when they shouldn’t.
      I think Trump falls in that category.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Yes, but can you imagine his meltdowns if a campaign opponent went around saying that nobody should believe anything that DOTUS says unless the Ly’n Don was strapped to a lie detector?

      • Steely_Fan

        You’re telling me (dramatic pause) George Costanza was right? ;-)

    • Cat Cafe

      YES THIS SO MUCH THIS the WHOLE FUCKING MEDIA lets him get away with this shit even NOW after it’s been shown over and over and over and over that he’s a spiteful, crude, mentally deficient ignoramus with the emotional maturity of an 18-month old throwing a tantrum in Toys R Us because the other kids ALSO wanted to play with the Brio trains

  • Canis Greyhame

    Holy shit, that quote is disturbing. I think we can safely assert that Uncle John’s lecture to his fucking moron of a nephew did not prepare the lad to be Commander in Chief.

    So now Trump is threatening to nuke the First Amendment rights of NBC News, because if there’s one thing he does understand, it’s how to turn a problematic situation into a total catastrophe.

  • sonali

    Narcissistic sociopath spewing out word salad.

  • To steal a concept from Dune, the very idea of “Trump family atomics” gives me the creeping horrors.

  • “St. Ronald of Reagan’s dream was a world without nuclear weapons”

    Only after 1983, when he saw The Day After on TV and realised that H-bombs were indeed serious fuckin’ business. Senile Republican dipshit presidents who only understand things from teevee shows are nothing new.

    • Jesse

      Someone needs to hack the WH teevee and show The Day After to the current Senile Republican dipshit.

      • Christopher Boscarino

        Trump would think it was real and press the button, unfortunately…

    • HooverVilles

      One very minor improvement.

      “St. Ronald of Reagan’s Raygun’s dream…”

      That’s a little moar betterer IMHO.

  • Sakonyachen

    “There has been a Treaty On The Non-Proliferation Of Nuclear Weapons since 1970, and St. Ronald of Reagan’s dream was a world without nuclear weapons.”

    Phht! What a libturd! RINO if there ever was one.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I worked for a state agency that registered businesses operating in the state. Periodically, our legal department would have to redesign the registration forms to accommodate changes in the relevant laws. One of the goals during these redesigns was to make the forms as idiot proof as possible. At a meeting where a progress report was presented, the lead attorney announced they had managed to redesign the forms so they were idiot proof but found it impossible to make them moron proof.

    • Last Hussar

      You can make it foolproof, but you can’t make it damnfool proof.

  • Delu

    No wonder he gets along so well with Kim Jong Un, except the part where he mistakes him for his father.

  • Jesse

    Whoever showed trump that chart needs to go to bed without any supper!

  • Christopher Boscarino

    The trick here is to explain things in a way that makes it easy for him to understand. Something like “Nuclear weapons are like old wives, who wants those around, ammirite?”

    • SeeTrain65

      That’s why he’s shopping for younger, hotter nukes.

  • LM

    There he goes again with the “good genes.” You know what the logical next step is.

    • HooverVilles

      Good genes, highly educated, best words?
      Good dsylexic doG, what will his next great self aggrandizing statement be?

    • Cat Cafe

      And always the glancing reference implying he has a Wharton MBA WHICH HE IN NO WAY DOES

      • irishdave3

        More llke a BS in Bidness…except for the science part…

    • irishdave3

      …and then the murders began?

  • Guinnessmonkey

    I love that Trump needed his Uncle to explain to him that “nuclear is powerful” in 1980/1981, when he was in his mid-30’s. His uncle must have been a genius visionary to somehow know that nuclear weapons would have a part to play in future geopolitics. *eyeroll*

    I mean, Trump was 17 years old during the Cuban Missile Crisis. I suppose he didn’t think it was a big deal at the time, since nobody had yet explained to him the “power” of “nuclear.”

    Of course, analyzing that speech in any depth is futile. That way lies madness.

  • Invidosa

    I think from now one every wonky article about the great white house shit weasel should just end with;

    Fucking moron!

    I feel it should be a new rule

    • Cat Cafe

      It’s actually always there, just sometimes it’s so bad it becomes visible.

    • SDGeoff3

      Kind of like Amen.

  • The Librarian

    Stream of consciousness argle bargled word salad makes my brain numb, like when you bite into a popsicle and it’s too cold. :P

    • Cat Cafe

      And that was BEFORE November. The fucking shitheels STILL VOTED FOR HIM. God I hate them.

      • The Librarian

        I have a neighbor who stopped talking to me after the election. I found out she voted for Trump. Saved me the trouble of having to “unfriend” her from my life.
        :D

        • SDGeoff3

          I no longer hear from a few folks too.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    No… You can’t make me read his word salad.. No you can’t…. You just can’t…. No… No…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… *eyes melt into liquid*

  • SeeTrain65

    Remember when we used to fear the 3 a.m. PHONE CALL?

    Good times …

  • George

    I keep coming back to this, for some reason:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_FDEj4paHI

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