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It's not even the rust that'll get you, though
Prison water will be much much safer.

Michigan’s chief medical executive, Dr. Eden Wells, was charged with involuntary manslaughter and misconduct in office Monday for her role in allowing inadequately treated water from the Flint River to cause an outbreak of Legionnaires’ disease in the city. In addition to the city’s lead-poisoned water, the Legionnaires’ outbreak was one more delightful result of the state’s attempt to save a few million dollars by switching the city’s water source to the Flint River without adequately treating the water to prevent corrosion of the city’s water pipes. At least 12 people died and 79 became sick. Wells had already been charged with obstruction of justice and making a false statement in the state’s investigation of the Flint water crisis, and faces up to 15 years in prison on the new charges.

Wells was supposed to appear yesterday for a hearing on the obstruction and false statement charges, but it was delayed for over an hour and a half while attorneys met with the judge, after which the new charges were announced by special prosecutor Todd Flood. (Yes, the investigation of Flint’s poisoned water has a prosecutor named Flood and a defendant named Wells. Movie director John Waters is so far not involved in the case.)

Flood said the new charges were due to “some revelations” that stemmed from testimony during last week’s preliminary exam hearing against state Health and Human Services Director Nick Lyon, who is also charged with involuntary manslaughter as well as obstruction of justice.

Flood wouldn’t say what exactly those “revelations” were in last week’s testimony from a number of Michigan health officials, but they must have been a doozy. In June, Lyon and four others were charged with manslaughter in the death of one of the Legionnaires’ victims — 85-year-old Robert Skidmore, who died in December 2015 — because they knew Flint’s water was dangerous but did nothing to warn the public, let alone fix the water problems. As for Wells, we’ll just have to wait until the case moves forward — at a hearing now scheduled for November 6 — to find out what new information led to the more severe charges:

“I really can’t get into the details of it but I think we’d be derelict if we didn’t charge her,” Flood told reporters following the abrupt hearing. “Based on a new review of other documents and testimony that came out last week, we believe that discovery put us in this place.”

The Detroit News notes that in the testimony during Lyon’s hearing, one of the witnesses, former Michigan Health and Human Services chief deputy director Tim Becker, said a January 2015 report on the Legionnella outbreak showed 45 cases in and around Flint. He acknowledged the disease “could kill somebody” and said that a public warning could have been made at the time to protect the public. Another witness, Dr. Marcus Zervos, testified that the state should have given both the public and health providers better information about the outbreak in order to “save lives.”

So it definitely sounds like, as the state’s top medical official, Dr. Wells just might have dropped the ball on her duty to do her damn job. She was already facing up to two years in prison on the obstruction charge, but now that her inaction is being linked to a death (we have no idea why prosecutors are charging the officials with just the one man’s death — it’s law stuff), she could spend up to 15 years in prison for manslaughter (and be fined up to $7,500, which seems weird); the misconduct in office charge could result in 5 years and a $10,000 fine. No, we are not mixing up the amounts of those fines.

Another witness last week said Gov. Rick Snyder actually knew about the Legionnaires’ outbreak in December 2015, a month before Snyder has previously said he knew that, although that appears unrelated to Wells’s new charges. Lucky her!

Dr. Wells is being represented by an attorney named Jerold Lax, a name that truly inspires confidence; he said he had “no reaction” to the new charges, but also that he had “some indication more charges were on the way. He wouldn’t speculate on a reporter’s question about whether the stiffer charges against Wells might be a prosecution strategy to get her to cooperate in the cases against the other defendants: “I don’t want to pretend to be able to read the prosecution’s mind. We’ll simply deal with what he says and respond to it.”

The obstruction of justice charge still pending against Wells doesn’t paint her in the most public-servicey light, either:

Wells had previously been accused of giving false testimony to a special agent and threatening to withhold state aid from the Flint Area Community Health and Environment Partnership if the partnership didn’t stop its probe into the source of the Legionnaires’ outbreak in the Flint area.

Yr Wonkette is not a lawyer, but that seems like a less than helpful way to deal with a public health crisis. And even though they’re facing serious charges of misconduct and of doing their jobs so badly that people ended up dying, Wells and state Health and Human Services director Nick Lyon have been kept on the job by Gov. Rick Snyder. Lax said that his client “wishes she were in a position to simply perform her job,” but that she is nonetheless “doing quite well under the circumstances.” A spokesperson for Snyder said that Wells and Lyon both have the governor’s full support, so that’s nice for them.

So far, nobody in the governor’s office has complained the prosecution of Snyder’s team is a “witch hunt,” but we figure that’s only a matter of time. The prosecution is moving forward, and is likely to be completed before all of Flint has drinkable water again.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Click here to send us money, and enjoy a clean glass of water before Trump’s EPA decides lead is good for you.

[Detroit News / Detroit Free Press / Detroit Free Press]

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  • Proud Liberal

    When’s Snyder’s day coming?

    • jesterpunk

      He will get off just like Christie did and have someone under him take the fall for him.

      • Erala Contratista

        That is a very disturbing image.

        • Querolous

          If people will up-vote this non-comment, I will not post that picture of CC in a Baseball uniform.

    • FlownΩver

      In Michigan Snyder’s Day is the fourth Friday in Blowvember. It’s when all the shit comes out.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    The Republican dream of small, hands-off government is a reality in Michigan.

    • meanlawyermom

      We do have small hands government federally, at least.

  • bbayliss

    “First do no harm”

    • Proud Liberal

      That applies to the other people.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Health and Human Services director Nick Lyon have been kept on the job by Gov. Rick Snyder

    Lyin’ Nick is aptly named. Also, too.

  • Daniel

    “Yes, the investigation of Flint’s poisoned water has a prosecutor named Flood and a defendant named Wells. Movie director John Waters is so far not involved in the case.”

    I couldn’t see why he would be. Disgusting shit like this would never interest him.

    Oh, but in the film of this Flood will be played by Christopher Plummer.

  • Vincent Ricola

    This seems like it should be a major news story that is covered thoroughly and explained in great detail to the American public.

    Ah well, did you all hear that Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel and SNL aren’t making enough jokes about Harvey Weinstein?!?!? And Hillary won’t even mention it!!!

  • memzilla Ω

    The state would have less liability cost if they had bought every single house and relocated everyone. But, you know, poor people.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Poor blah people.

    • kaydenpat

      Great point. Water is a necessity. Even now, there are folks in Flint with no access to clean water. Snyder himself should be charged with negligence for what happened in Flint.

      • Rags

        The current AG is an R and is running for gub building a rep as a tough guy towards anyone not in the Mi R establishment so Snyder is off limits.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    ~Down on the boulevard
    The children are sold
    To pave the way
    For your streets of gold

    No More!

    “Golgotha Tenement Blues” by Machines of Loving Grace

    • Daniel

      I went to one of their gigs, and the weird thing is that it was the band who were sitting on the balconies watching us.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        :)

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Not to worry. The DeVoses will spread some of their ill gotten gains around to prevent anything bad from happening to their minions in office.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    “I think we’d be derelict if we didn’t charge her.” In a case about nothing if not dereliction of duty, that’s one path the prosecutor won’t be heading down readily…

  • ManchuCandidate

    Pb-ership not leadership

  • kaydenpat

    The Party of Life, y’all!!

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Aww Dok, at least let Turgid Love Muscle have a minute or two so that we may gather and mock. You’re no fun.

    • Daniel

      I had a really clever reply, too.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Yeah, just posted to that one and Dok’s been busy, no fun at all!

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’s almost like the prodigal son, only he’s really not that welcome.

    • Erala Contratista

      Uh uh.
      Life too short, etc.

      Plus the idiot can’t write…

  • Ezio

    Interesting how the people who are always raging about the government putting harmful substances into our water seem to be mostly silent about this when it occurs in predominately black neighborhoods.

    • Ezio

      Oh and when Native Americans don’t want water on their land to be contaminated by pipelines.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Or the stuff oozing out of the pipelines…

        • Oblios_Cap

          Like gin oozing out of Bannon’s pores.

          • Ill-Advised

            Evaporating, surely? Gin isn’t that viscous.

            Now, 70-proof sweat smelling of old socks…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      If only it were chem trails…

  • Juan de Fuca

    *Adds Michigan to list of possible retirement states simply to cross it off the list*

  • Joe Beese

    In an audio recording captured during a New York Police Department sting operation in 2015 and made public here for the first time, Weinstein admits to groping a Filipina-Italian model named Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, describing it as behavior he is “used to.”

    https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/from-aggressive-overtures-to-sexual-assault-harvey-weinsteins-accusers-tell-their-stories

    • Joe Beese

      Sallie Hofmeister, a spokesperson for Weinstein, issued a statement in response to the allegations in this article. It reads in full: “Any allegations of non-consensual sex are unequivocally denied by Mr. Weinstein. Mr. Weinstein has further confirmed that there were never any acts of retaliation against any women for refusing his advances. Mr. Weinstein obviously can’t speak to anonymous allegations, but with respect to any women who have made allegations on the record, Mr. Weinstein believes that all of these relationships were consensual. Mr. Weinstein has begun counseling, has listened to the community and is pursuing a better path. Mr. Weinstein is hoping that, if he makes enough progress, he will be given a second chance.”

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        … what “better path” and “second chance” would be required if he didn’t do the things he’s accused of?

        • Joe Beese

          I was wondering that myself.

          Trying to get better at predicting which women won’t refuse his advances? (Which he doesn’t retaliate against them for doing?)

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Is this one of those trick questions?

        • ariel_gee_398

          I dunno, didn’t his second chance come when the NYPD declined to press charges? Or when he settled one of those myriad claims against him? Wasn’t that a chance to improve?

          • Joe Beese

            Does Damon and Crowe helping neuter the last story that tried to expose this count as a third chance?

          • ariel_gee_398

            That’s just a third second chance, I think. Maybe the fourth one will do the trick.

          • Ill-Advised

            We’re gonna need some exponents to keep this in “second chance” territory.

      • Erala Contratista

        Oh, horseshit!
        Nope. Horseshit is a valuable thing

        Balderdash, fool!!!!!!

      • Honestly, I have very little difficulty believing that powerful men believe these advances are wanted, and that they believe that the relationships are consensual.

        • Ill-Advised

          Doesn’t everyone know that power is an aphrodisiac that never fails? And that tactfulness is just “yes” pretending to be “no?”

    • Joe Beese
    • Stulexington

      Oh he’s used to it, he does it all the time, that totally makes it okay and not a series of sexual assaults made by a serial sexual assaulter.

    • ariel_gee_398

      That article is so fucking damning. Everybody knew, if they wanted to. I don’t want to hear another actor, exec, anyone at his company, claim they are just shocked by all this. They enabled a motherfucking RAPIST for years. Decades.

  • chazmanr

    “she could spend up to 15 years in prison
    for manslaughter (and be fined up to $7,500, which seems weird); the
    misconduct in office charge could result in 5 years and a $10,000 fine.”

    When I was in Oslo, Norway about 10 years ago, there were signs posted in the parks listing fines for various activities. The fine for public urination was half of the fine for trampling flowers in the park.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      My object all sublime, I shall achieve in time,
      to make the punishment fit the crime.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Dok is actively monitoring the thread, since TLM is trying to post here.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Poor TLM, still hasn’t gotten that gay erotica book deal.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        It’s a rather niche form of gay erotica.

      • Daniel

        Pounded in the Book by my Own Book

    • Juan de Fuca

      TLM picks the strangest posts to troll on. WTF does this post have to do with his obsession with anal?

      • Oblios_Cap

        It appears that someone else of dubious mental capacity is downthread. Also, too.

    • Candy Matson

      I’ve heard so much about TLM but haven’t ever actually witnessed one of his posts with my eyeballs. I gather I’m not missing much? Boils down to “butt sex! Butt sex! Butt sex!” from what I can gather from y’all?

      • Daniel

        Also- “full body orgasms” and “gallons of semen”.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          “Galleons of sea men” would be more entertaining.

          • Daniel

            That’s more Turgid Love Mussel’s line.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The guy is so in the closet you don’t need to hear him listening to show tunes to detect it.

      • Juan de Fuca

        He’s like the retired Marine dad from the movie “American Beauty” who claims to hate gay people but turns out to be gay himself at the end of the movie. He’s that guy.

      • TJ Barke

        More or less. Plus occasional racism.

    • TJ Barke

      Everyone’s favorite little shit-bag.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Day Care let out early? Someone miss a shift?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Wells and Lyon have jobs so long as they don’t turn state’s evidence. The minute they go stool pigeon, Snyder will turf them.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    In the garden of Eden…
    http://i.imgur.com/jbFCNg3.gif

    • jesterpunk

      The hand mines are not happy.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well, a little tip-o-the-hat to Godwin never hurts….and it seems apropos.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/260d526cd8781c31741ce05ae84fa8b80f9f6aba79da00db3bccc0e57a4d4903.jpg

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Godwin himself has said all bets are off nowadays.

    • TJ Barke

      A man after Stephen Miller’s own heart.

  • Scooby

    Wouldn’t it be fairer if fines were based on a percentage of your income rather than a fixed amount?

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Years ago I moved away from Michigan to Minnesota. Best. Move. Ever.

  • MynameisBlarney

    WTF?

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      You’re going to need to be more specific with the current political climate.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Right.

        What in the ACTUAL fuck?

  • Indiepalin

    If the pipe don’t fit, you must acquit.

  • jesterpunk

    OT but Trump is going to South Korea next month and may visit the Truce village and the DMZ.

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-northkorea-missiles-trump/trump-may-visit-dmz-between-north-and-south-korea-yonhap-idUSKBN1CF1Z6?il=0

    So get ready for a war with North Korea.

    • Daniel

      I think it’s more likely he’ll come back really impressed with it and talk about implementing some North Korean style government reforms himself.

      • jesterpunk

        Why not both?

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Take our President, Kim. PLEASE!

      • Juan de Fuca

        With votes!

      • jesterpunk

        And Pence, they can have him too.

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          Jesus, that leaves us with Ryan. Let’s not leave him out. Throw Hatch in there, as well.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      I can see tRump pulling his facial skin back so his eyes are slits and making ching chong noises while looking across the border.

      • Daniel

        “No, it’s funny because that’s what you look like! It’s hilarious!”

      • MynameisBlarney

        DON’T GIVE HIM ANY IDEAS!!

      • PubOption

        While Melania tries to narrow her eyes even more than usual.

        • redarmyzombie

          Is that even possible?!

          • PubOption

            Not if she still wants to see.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Five bucks says he does the finger gun thing towards the north and at least one cable news network will claim that is when Trump became presidential.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Could start talks! Remember how impressed he was with the French military parade? If he gets a gander at Kim’s military parades, he’s gonna’ want an American version of this comin’ down Penn. Ave on July 4th.

      http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5QNOKkQIeLg/Vht-sMj93YI/AAAAAAAAxbs/gWXOU9P23gc/s640/North%2BKorean%2B70th%2BAnniversary%2BMilitary%2BParade%2B1.gif

      https://media.giphy.com/media/26FmScDycyCcaCHEQ/giphy-downsized-large.gif

      • Villago Delenda Est

        American soldiers don’t march like that.

        YET.

        • MynameisBlarney

          No, they’re too busy being sent to the ME to worry about silly stuff like marching in parades.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        He likes this type of parade because the shapes are easy to understand.

      • TJ Barke

        Oh, he’s already asked for that.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Tanks and all.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Is Chevy Chase planning the trip?

      • jesterpunk

        The same person who sent the Navy ships to Korea is planning the trip. So he may wind up somewhere in Madagascar.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Let them drink cake.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Michigan’s Top Medical Official Charged With Poison-Watering People To Death, IS STILL TOP MEDICAL OFFICIAL

    Dr. Mangele is jealous.

  • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

    Jesus Christ on a cracker. So much for “First, do no harm…”

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Involuntary manslaughter charges? Such a pity. At least the Governor still has faith in her, so that’s something. Still, this news must be terribly upsetting for Dr. Wells. Perhaps Governor Snyder might console her with a lovely cake.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8c20871fa3ffe36c5e7ecf6fe0730fc356f61a395715b62eef4be085c778be1c.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I’ll take “Nouveau Riche Cunts” for $1000, Alex.

    • cmd resistor

      Looks like a cake Mnuchin’s wife would love.

      • PubOption

        Reading about the Mnuchins munchin’ on cake could turn people dyslexic.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    When Flint Water gives you lead make bullets you ungrateful bastards.

  • jesterpunk

    Scott Pruitt was heard saying that he wants to charge the residents for stealing lead from the hard working job creators.If they cant dump chemicals in the drinking water then the terrorists won.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I guess we know the answer to the question “Is it safe”.

    Hell no it’s not.

  • rocktonsam

    and this person is not trump’s surgeon general yet why?

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    Sounds like a government ahead of the Trumpism curve.

  • marxalot

    Flint has the kind of water that really would melt a witch, if they want to institute a rigorous trial to go with the hunt.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I suggest we try out this theory on Betsy!

  • jesterpunk

    In other news that makes you want to break something.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/10/10/black-man-beaten-at-white-nationalist-rally-in-charlottesville-faces-felony-charge/?utm_term=.e780d2728c8f

    A local magistrate on Monday issued an arrest warrant for DeAndre Harris on an unlawful wounding charge after an accuser, whom police did not identify, claimed to have been injured by the 20-year-old during the brawl, authorities told local media.

    Why did you hit me back when we where beating you with pipes?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      He hit me in the fist with his face… Hang him!

      • jesterpunk

        Repeatedly.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          The bastard broke two of my knuckles…

    • ariel_gee_398

      White supremacist claiming to be victimized by a black person? They call this play the “Emmett Till” and it’s one of the oldest in their playbook.

      • jesterpunk

        I guess I am surprised a magistrate went for it. But I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore I guess.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Elected magistrate in VA? They may have had to judge shop, but I bet they could find a good ol’ boy somewhere among the ranks.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Goddammit!
      That is fucking fucked up.

  • beingreleased

    Well you know, innocent until proven guilty and all that. But should police be investigating innocent people? Why do the police only investigate innocent people? Shouldn’t they wait until they’re proven guilty before they start investigating?

  • calliecallie

    They wanted government to be run like a business. Hooker Chemical, for example. Or any coal mine. Or more recently, Arkema Chemical. The list is endless.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Bottomless, even.

      • Covfefe

        FWIW, a bill lately has been introduced in the Michigan senate to prohibit bottomless in any place where liquor is served.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          But then how would Wonkers not comment? Hmm?

          Beer would do, in a pinch…

          • Covfefe

            Soon as it’s set for hearing, I’ll forward your non-comment to the committee.

        • P’jama Pahnts

          I would love to hear the story that inspired that

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Damn! Another choice to make.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Yeah, I have no idea why no one, after hearing that phrase, never pointed out that businesses don’t really have any vested interest, duty, or requirement to make sure their employees actually stay alive.

      • Covfefe

        In workers compensation states, business does have a vested interest in keeping workers alive. Their insurance rates depend upon workplace injuries. Just one more way Gubmint regulations drive up the costs of doing business.

        • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

          Well yeah, but that’s because the government forces them to care. If the government itself is run like a business, tho…

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Or anyone in the immediate area of their operations, for that matter.

        Externalities are such a drag!

    • jesterpunk

      Duke Energy also too.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      How many Republicans think that government should be run like a business, but think their own private sector boss is a greedy idiot?

      Compartmentalization is a hell of a drug.

      • marxalot

        But if only we could get the right people into these jobs, then the system would work!

        • Covfefe

          Praise Jesus. Dear Old Don has all the right people.

    • cheetojeebus

      Enron

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Union Carbide

    • P’jama Pahnts
  • BeachLoafer

    The defense just writes itself:

    “Naturally, we just assumed the lead content in the water would kill any harmful bacteria that might have entered the system”

  • And yet STILL no charges against the person who was, y’know, in charge of the whole thing…

  • MynameisBlarney

    Are enough people EVER going to fucking realize that the GOP is actually trying to kill people to actually stop electing them? Or are we to be doomed to complacent stupidity and will ignorance for the remainder of this nations existence?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      They are the death panels.

      Vote GOP or die!

      • Old town Urbandale

        Vote GOP or and die!

        FTFY

    • Anna Elizabeth

      That second thing.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Geez. You claim lead is a vitamin one time, and they treat you like you’re criminally negligent or something.”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You can purchase these “vitamins” from Alex Jones’ website at low, low prices!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Just be prepared for the shipping costs on those heavy metal supplements…

        • proudgrampa

          Nyuk, nyuk!

    • cheetojeebus

      that’s plumb’um crazee.

  • bbayliss

    The prez just now….”we’re going to have great health care and it will cost the country nothing.”

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Everyone will be treated for free by unicorns with big tits.

      • I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

      • Unicorns hung like horses?

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Fuck that, fags will just die of Religious Liberty Syndrome.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            We Bis will be a close second.

      • jesterpunk

        Where is Kiri to weigh in on this unicorn health care plan?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        Tits are by nature not a very big bird.

    • marxalot

      Well, yeah. Because the country won’t pay for it. And if you can’t afford it, neither will you!

    • So we’ll all be headed to the Christian Science Reading Room for our cancer treatments?

      • Daniel

        Pfffft “reading”. Elitist.

    • cheetojeebus

      but will we all get to drive Lamborghinis? you know like that work at home person.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        I’m surprised Trump hasn’t hired him.
        I’m just walking around the outside of this mansion that’s for sale pretending it’s mine.

      • jesterpunk

        Is that what happened to Lori?

        • cheetojeebus

          thank you, i could not for the life of me remember her name.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Weird that there are no specifics on what will make it “great”.

      • cmd resistor

        Just great. Like America. You know.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      It’s the Gold Plan…..give donald all your gold and he will turn it into drapes. End of story…. What?…….What?……

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Trump just now: My health care plan is simple and very intricate too, I can tell you that.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      So like a knotted ball of yarn?

    • eggs ackly-wright

      It’s like a kangaroo with a light bulb.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • proudgrampa

      I’m convinced that his brain just puts random words together.

      • Arolpin

        Objection: Assertion of facts not in evidence. Please provide proof that Drumpf possesses a brain.

      • Daniel

        “I can tell you that” is a filler phrase he uses to mean “I have no idea at all what anything I just said meant.”

      • I think you mean “brain stem.” There are no leaves or flowers.

      • bbayliss

        “We have the highest taxes in the world”
        “Five new auto plants to open”
        “You’ll be able to buy insurance across state lines”

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Simple and very intricate too, like every other lie that he tells.

    • Stulexington

      There’s only one type of set that can have mutually exclusive properties: the empty set. Trump is, for once, being entirely accurate about his empty plan.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        “My health care program is in the middle of an Ocean! It’s surrounded by Big Water, Wet Water, Deep Water!….”

    • Everrett Fanuelli
      • wide_stance_hubby

        Oooh, I read that roll of paper towels in the 70s, too.

        • I refused to do a book report on it.
          Mutiny on the Bounty.

      • It hurts me to see people do that, for any reason

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Simple and intricate. That makes total sense…

  • Completely OT, but this sticks in my craw. Rant to follow…
    The Orange Wife and Cuntway are visiting “Lily’s Place” in WV (behind closed doors) today in an attempt to appear philanthropic.
    I had to Google Lily’s Place. It’s a great non-profit, but I will NEVER be one who calls a baby born to a mother who did hardcore drugs her entire pregnancy a “NAS” baby. Never. They are not suffering from “neonatal abstinence syndrome.” They are suffering from the goddamned selfishness of a human being.
    Please don’t pretend we’re anywhere CLOSE to fixing that. Goddammit.

    • cmd resistor

      I heard briefly on NPR she learned of this place at the meeting she “led” on opioid addiction recently.

      • Nancy Reagan: Tranquilizers::
        Melania Trump: MYSTERY???

        Pretty easy mystery to figure out.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Somedays I think The Planet Of The Apes would be more hospitable than what we’ve become.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      You gosh-darned clean apes!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    But let’s talk about what’s really important: NFL players taking a knee!

    /FFS

  • Paul Dietzel

    About 40 yrs. ago a friend was hospitalized at the UM hospital in Ann Arbor and when I talked to his daughter on the phone she said he had “symptoms like pneumonia” but that is wasn’t responding to the usual treatment. Back home here in PA we’d been through the original Legionnaire’s outbreak in Philly a year before where we had lost one of our locals and I remembered that was what they had said about those cases too. So I commented “gee, sounds like it could be Legionnaires.” She replied that her Mom (an RN) had said the same thing but the Doctors at UM had discounted her opinion. Sure enough it was and after several agonizing days the UM guys relented and focused on Legionnaires and eventually everything turned out OK. Seems like Mich. is still dropping the ball on water-borne illnesses.

    • proudgrampa

      Aren’t they next door to a lake?

      • Arolpin

        Yeah, but it’s just one lake. Not like Minnesota where there are 10,000 of those fucker.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Yeah, no. We’re in the middle of Great (TM) lakes, like a set of lungs around us. Plus the number of lakes is pretty great, too. So…

          • Arolpin

            The snark tag was implied. :)

          • TimResistit

            we’re surrounded by greatness.

    • almaalum

      That actually surprises me because I’ve seen near miracles at the UM hospital.

  • Something for Wonketeers to think about
    https://twitter.com/TechnicallyRon/status/917396169378140160

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      How do you get a drinking straw out of man’s penis?

      Easy. Suck on it really hard.

      • OutOfOrbit

        should’a seen that commin’ & didnut

        • wide_stance_hubby

          We’ve all been there. Wait, are we thinking about the same thing?

      • And why ARE they called “drinking” straws???

        • OutOfOrbit

          and how did it get stuck in your penis?

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Home kidneystone surgery. Now fuck off!

            EDIT: Sorry. You’d be snippy too if you had a FUCKING STRAW UP YOUR DICK!

          • I tried it after watching a demonstration on YouTube.

          • Daniel

            If you drink a straw it neutralises the fluoride in the water, and stops the government turning your tadpoles gay. Unfortunately, as you’re drinking it, it goes to your kidneys for processing and then you piss it out.

          • OutOfOrbit

            oh i sea now

          • TJ Barke

            A water stealing conspiracy!

          • Daniel

            Fremen are taking over the country!

          • TJ Barke

            Shai Hullud!

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Oh, you know. Hold my beer….

          • OutOfOrbit

            hold [your] beer? i cannut even hold my own TYVM

          • wide_stance_hubby

            It’s not stuck! It’s just resting!!

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          as opposed to “sucking” straws? Because of the kids. Shut your ears, kids….

        • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

          And shouldn’t it be a THERMO-meter?

    • Daniel

      Why doesn’t the earth just fall down?

      BECAUSE GRAVITY ISN’T REAL. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

      • It IS real. And it’s caused by the oceans. It’s in the Bible.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          Because Big Water, Wet Water, Ocean Water is heavy. It just is….

          • wide_stance_hubby

            Sometimes, it completely surrounds islands.

      • jesterpunk

        Turtles all the way down holding it up.

      • Covfefe

        The earth IS down. The sun, the moon and the stars revolve around the earth. Which you can tell just by looking up in the sky.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Why do Australians not fly off into space when they visit the US?

          • Covfefe

            It’s a mystery. Take it on faith.

          • Querolous

            There are no Australians. Australia is an illusion. Who could believe that a country exists with sane gun laws. Cant happen; fake news!

    • I’m not authorized.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Which of these pix is a dick joke?
      AOT,K

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        AOT,K….

      • SeeTrain65

        The dick at the desk.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Can blue men sing the whites?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        or are they hypo-crites for singing?

        • TheGrandWazoo2

          I think we’re all Bonzos on this bus.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Just the blue man group

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Bonzo Dog Band Libelz!

    • bubbuhh

      The painous must’ve peen heinous

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    People up here want them all to go down hard, and take Snyder with them. Fuckers….

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      That would happen, in a just society. I think they deserve the solution China used, when people got poisoned. (when greed was involved.)

  • bbayliss

    California is burning.

    • That matters Liddle to the Citrusens of this country.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      While Trump tweets about Bob Corker. Priorities, you know.

    • Daniel

      California should have voted for Trump.

      • Stulexington

        IKR, if all those 3 million illegal immigrants hadn’t been allowed to vote, Trump might care about California like it was a real part of America or something.

        • Daniel

          Like Puerto Rico, which is filled with illegals- by which I mean “women who criticise Trump”.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Along with all the evidence about crooked Hillary’s emails!1! Won1!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Yr Wonkette is not a lawyer, but that seems like a less than helpful way to deal with a public health crisis.

    You see, this is where Our Wonkette is naive. It was never a public health crisis. It was a public finance crisis. Like, how can we cut taxes to our wealthy fat cat donors without creating a huge deficit? Poor folks were just a roadblock in this public finance crisis. That’s what you need steamrollers for.

  • Joe Beese
    • MizzMazz

      Good, Kevin. I was wondering what you thought of this. Now what are you going to do?

    • SeeTrain65

      And among the subtweets there are, OF COURSE, TRUMP DEFENDERS.

  • goonemeritus

    I’m more surprised Trump hasn’t poached her to head-up a clean water initiative for communities of color nationally.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Water of Color for Persons of Color”

    • OutOfOrbit

      well not that you mention it in 3 – 2 – …

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Shhhhhh…..

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      or sent her to Puerto Rico

  • TJ Barke

    Know why they really want small government? So people like those in Flint have no recourse.

  • TJ Barke

    You know, if I was paranoid, I’d say this was scheme to force people out to snap up property for Delta City…

    • wide_stance_hubby

      I worry about being paranoid.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        You could be paranoid about your tendency to worry, if that seems better.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Why would you say that to me and who put you up to it?

  • goonemeritus

    OTB did anyone hear Democracy Now this morning? It seems Amy Goodman and Julian Asanang will be changing their Facebook relationship status to “it’s complicated”.

    • TJ Barke

      This is probably good, as Julian does not actually seem to value real democracy, now.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        if ever

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Have not listened in several years–is she still broadcasting from a public bathroom stall?

  • Wookie Monster

    So, when is Snyder going to be charged?

    • OutOfOrbit

      nevuh — top (R)s never do time

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Any day now… {crickets}.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    I thought Donnie promised all those good people that the water crisis would be fixed as soon as he was sworn in?

  • bbayliss
  • Mavenmaven

    Trump’s new surgeon general?

    • President in Exile Firefly

      Nah, Health and Human Services.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Hey Wonkers, this is hella OT, but please indulge me…
    This morning my sis posted:
    “I hope [girl person daughter] finds the career options she wants at the career fair today. She wasn’t hopeful that she will find stuff about aerospace, forensic science, and mechanical engineering. Then it made me sad because she was afraid if she did find that stuff they won’t pay attention to her because she is a girl. I told her to show interest be assertive but not aggressive and ask lots of questions.”
    A couple of my sister’s friends have already offered to hook my awesome niece up with badass female engineers. Any engineering wonkers, male or female, have words of advice to share with my awesome, smart, curious niece?

    • Anna Rompage

      You might see if there are any chapters of ‘Women in Science’ in your area, or other STEM based women’s advocacy groups, and reach out to them for resources…

      • Jado

        If you have the means, a night or afternoon class on Autocad is worth every penny. It will show the basics of engineering drawing, which is 70% of engineering regardless of which engineering you deal with. It might be rough time-wise for a 12 year old, but it’s the best thing you can do for a budding engineer.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      How old is she? What’s her educational background?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        She’s only twelve yet. All the more reason to find out what activities would be helpful to encourage and help develop her interests, I’m thinking.

        • Courser_Resistance

          Khan Academy (I donated to them once so I get updates all the time) has loads of stuff, not just math stuff anymore. They’ve expanded their offering to loads of things.

          https://www.khanacademy.org/

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Wow. Career fair for 12 year olds… I didn’t know of such things…

          Any local science museums and such with all the different classes/activities/programs for her to explore her interests? Any mathy-sciencey extra-curricular programs in her school district? Any extra math classes she could take, if those are of interest?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I was surprised too, but I’m not a mum so I don’t know what’s normal for kids these days.
            She lives in the burbs of Milwaukee and I live in Chicago, so she’s been blessed with an embarrassment of riches museum-wise.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            We have four Miss Bz&Bz who are all now post-college. One could easily have majored in math if she wanted. (She’s in med school now, via a biology degree.) Others have gal pals who did engineering degrees. All of them had interests that waxed and waned through those formative years.

            I’d say… let her have fun and explore that embarrassment of riches… whether it’s classes/programs on programming, math, mechanics, whatever… At her local science museum. Open up the catalog of extra-curricular programs there and let her have the pick of the litter…

            Thinking about specific jobs at 12 is kinda a meaningless pursuit, in this here North American USA way of thinking. I think. (Our Euro friends might differ…) But if she wants to learn, explore, delve… heck ya! One class/program at a time, to start…

        • Red Bird

          Engineering associations, summer internships and mentorship programs. All good ways to meet other women engineers.
          Recommend SWE, NSPE, large engineering companies

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Thank you!

          • Red Bird

            No problem. I also play a female engineer on TV so if you need more information just ask.

    • Y not aggressive? They like that in boys

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I know, right???
        We (as women, but also as a functioning society) have come a long way, but we still have a really fucking long way to go.

  • TimResistit

    I cry over what my state has become as to what it once was. I suppose most people do who see their state being ass raped by republicans.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Are you from Wisconsin?
      Because I am, and that’s EXACTLY how I feel.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        welcome to AZ

    • Johnatx

      Try being from Texas.

      • TimResistit

        Well, no thanks. No offense but some of the worst experiences I ever had were in TX. Dallas -FT Worth to be exact.

    • TakingAmes

      Kentucky, anyone?

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    So Donnie wants to compare IQ tests with Rexxon? Hey KaC, you want to talk about embarrassing the country…

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/10/10/trump-says-hes-willing-compare-iq-tests-rex-tillerson/749112001/

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It would be so cool if Rexxon tweeted “Okay, Mr. President. Let’s take an IQ test.” Not that I think IQ tests are really that significant, but I do think that Trump would only get an average score at best. Rex would probably beat him

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        The only way Donnie could get even an average score is if he paid someone else to take the test for him, the way he did at Wharton.

  • themidniteskulker

    Thanks a lot, Obama!!!!

  • Me not sure

    I would be very surprised if Trump knew which end of a number two pencil to use on an IQ test.

  • Marion in Savannah

    (Yes, the investigation of Flint’s poisoned water has a prosecutor named Flood and a defendant named Wells. Movie director John Waters is so far not involved in the case.)

    This had made my day.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Soundtrack provided by Billy Ocean?

      • Yellerduck

        Or Little River Band.

      • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

        Dammit, I shoulda scrolled down…

      • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

        Trying for a make-up point:
        Roger Waters?

        huh? huh?

      • TakingAmes

        Creedence Clearwater Revival?

      • laineypc

        Too much Led in their Zeppelin

      • Querolous

        Or Paul Simon

  • Lyly Sirivong

    She wished she were congratulated on the low death toll. And don’t you know, people in Flint were having fun !

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      And they had such beautiful, soft towels there.

  • yyyaz

    All we need now is Ricki Lake and River Phoenix to file amicus briefs and we will have hit the perfecta.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Delta Burke Liebull!

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      And Billy Ocean to write a song about it.

  • They are on the job as a bribe because this is fuckin sniders fault

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    Phew, good thing they found a woman to take the blame. It was starting to looks like someone actually important might get in trouble over this little Fake News story.

    • gratuitous

      I saw the headline and wondered what the chief medical executive could possibly have done to crack the façade of the Old Boys Club. Then I saw his name was “Eden,” and that he was a she. Sense was all it made quite suddenly.

    • Strepsi

      The Martha Stewart Rule

    • Molon Labe

      Women aren’t “actually important”? Well, at least they blamed a white person for once.

      Go to Flint and tell the families that have been fucked by this, that they are victims of “fake news”….

      • Cornelius Fussbudget

        (Just checking…you got the sarcasm, right? Or do I need to be more careful?)

  • Alan

    The real criminals won’t ever be charged.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Movie director John Waters is so far not involved in the case.

    You have to admit he’d be a natural, though. And not just because of his name.

    • Mike Steele

      DoK: Relevant name-calling in this piece was ‘Price’-less, healthwise. As a matter of fact, John Waters should collaborate with Michael Moore for an epic film on this clusterfuck.

  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    None of these (alleged)- sorry, had to use that word, it’s the law- criminals are concerned because they know Sen. Kid Rock will pardon them. It’s in the Constitution.

  • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

    My usual hero-worship of those who work in public health means I’m utterly horrified by this sort of thing. Venal, disgusting, and racist negligence. Hope she gets at least some jail time.

  • Deborah Ujevich

    In similar news…I live in WV. I recently read an article that said DON BLANKENSHIP, the Massey Coal exec who went to federal prison over the Upper Big Branch mining fatalities, IS CONSIDERING A RUN FOR THE U.S. SENATE. Manchin is up for reelection, and Jesus Christ, you’d think he was Bernie Sanders, by the tone of the article. This state has sooo many problems, but hey, Don Blankenship will make coal mining deaths great again!!

  • FlownΩver

    Mostly OT: if you stare at that picture and unfocus your eyes just a little it’s a lot like a Miró.

  • Monica English

    It was FLINT that decided to use the river as a cheaper way to provide water. Before pointing fingers at the state, take a good long hard look at the Flint City Council. The problems with the City Council almost mirror those of it’s Detroit counterpart – corruption, pay to play, and gross negligence of duty.
    Not that the state is blameless – far from it. Most of that blame can be placed squarely on the shoulders of Governor Snyder and the Michigan Dependent of Health and Human Services, and the Department of Environmental Quality.
    Who knew what and when they knew it is a matter for debate; however, Flint’s council members reside in the city.
    Draw your own conclusions.

    • UpstateNYObserver

      They were under state receivership. That effectively removed control from local elected officials and gave it to a State appointed dictator (manager)

  • I hate to sound like a broken record, but that’s fucked.

    What the bloody hell is going on, how are these narcissistic assholes continuing to be appointed positions of power and responsibility when it’s quite obvious they enjoy killing the shit out of their constituents?

    America is weird.

    Citizens of Flint, you’re all welcome to emigrate to Australia.

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