SHARE
He never seemed nice

Disgraced former Republican Congressman Michael Grimm, who resigned his seat after pleading guilty to felony tax evasion in December 2014 (and shortly after being reelected despite the charges against him), wants to return to the House and serve the people of the great state of New York, because there are probably some people out there he hasn’t yet threatened to throw off a balcony. Yet. And just look who can’t wait to help him!

Yes, it’s Steve Bannon, in casual mode, only wearing two button-down shirts because he’s all relaxed. The photo was taken last Wednesday at the “Breitbart Embassy” in Washington DC, which undoubtedly smells of flop-sweat, vomit and Steve Bannon. (But we repeat ourselves.) Grimm served eight months for the tax evasion charge — you know, a “witch hunt” — and in lieu of a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree, he would like very much to be in Congress again, please. He has probably learned his lesson and will never again try to escape paying payroll taxes by paying his health-food restaurant employees in cash, under the table, at least not if he thinks anyone’s watching.

While it’s not related to his actual criming, Grimm is probably most internet-famous for this January 2014 video of him threatening to toss a reporter off a US Capitol balcony after the reporter asked a completely out-of-line question about a fundraiser for Grimm, who was accused at the time of campaign finance irregularities (and later pleaded guilty). Grimm didn’t want to talk about that, so he offered to toss NY-1 reporter Mike Scotto from the balcony if Scotto ever asked another rude question. Then, in a line that never fails to leave Rachel Maddow in a giggle-fit, Grimm menaced Scotto:

“No, no, you’re not man enough, you’re not man enough,” he said. “I’ll break you in half. Like a boy.”

Grimm refused to apologize at first, because probably roid-rage and besides, that asshole reporter was out of line: “I doubt that I am the first member of Congress to tell off a reporter, and I am sure I won’t be the last.” Later, Grimm did apologize, admitting, “I shouldn’t have allowed my emotions to get the better of me and lose my cool.” Frankly, threatening to murder a reporter now looks pretty presidential, so we shouldn’t assume that video will hurt Grimm’s chances at all. But he damned well better explain what he meant by “break you in half like a boy,” or at the very least allow an inspection of his home’s crawl space.

While that video is certainly Grimm’s most embarrassing moment, we can’t quite decide whether it’s his absolute stupidest political lowlight, since in 2013 he also had this moment of high dudgeon over the unconstitutional usurpations of power by Barack Hussein Obama, the bloodthirsty tyrant who routinely torched the Constitution and baby ducks, too:

“He has an agenda and he’s going to do whatever he has to do to pass that agenda, regardless of the Constitution,” Grimm said. “I mean, I think our founding fathers are turning over in the graves right now because he’s just so blatant in his — the administrators, the people he puts in charge of these agencies are bold and brazen about saying, ‘yes, we’re going to make an end run around Congress.’”

And what exactly was the tyrannical crime Obama was trying to get away with that time? Encouraging the FCC to place a $4 per year fee on cell phones, to be used to expand broadband internet for school classes. Exactly like Hitler did.

So you’ve got ragey outbursts, tax cheating, and insane hyperbole. We can see why Steve Bannon is backing this guy’s attempted comeback.

[TPM / NYT]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • MynameisBlarney

    Ex-con loser.
    Fuck off.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Republicans could not possible care less about a criminal conviction when it comes to electing their politicians.

      • Thorn Spike

        It’s a feature, not a bug.

  • Randy Riddle

    Is he a white supremacist? Bannon’s not supporting anybody that’s not on the white power train.

    • Iron Monkey

      He’s a Republican from Staten Island–goes with the territory.

    • SterWonk

      I think that’s asked and answered: Bannon’s not supporting anyone who isn’t a white supremacist, and Bannon supports Grimm. Therefore…

  • WotsAllThisThen

    The Founding Fathers would be shocked to learn that the Constitution they wrote was being used to enact a $4 surcharge on cell phones. And also, that cell phones exist.

  • fawkedifiknow

    You paint a grim picture.

  • marxalot

    You know, when Steve really scrubs up, and the breakout meds are working to clear up the Dorian Grey syndrome, he almost makes it to “aging lesbian who really enjoyed the 70s” or “thrice-divorced uncle who thinks Allan Quartermain movies are the tops.”

    • Anna Elizabeth

      upfist and golf clap for “Allan Quartermain” reference. Well Done!

    • Petunia Cat

      😂😂😂 I don’t think the acne medicine is ever that effective. Those are just retouched photos. When this is over maybe he’ll get a gig as the before and after photos for some photo fixing app. 😁

  • BigCSouthside

    I’ve often thought “my past is too fucked up to run for office”

    I’ve never been in federal prison, so maybe I’m ok?

    Also how does a fucking felon not have the right to vote but can be in congress?

    • MrTusks

      Well this wasn’t a drug possession charge, which we all know is punishable by summary execution by police.

  • TJ Barke

    The really sick thing about this is that these bottom feeders have the gall to claim moral superiority.

    • Thorn Spike

      You have to admit, when you’re a bottom feeder the only way is up.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        What about the things that live IN the ooze?

  • ManchuCandidate

    WTF Ari Gold?

  • Scooby

    If he ups the crazy I think he can pull it off.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    This:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c60d3bef7803594e21ae489538f09115596d6f6219cf90552d33b11f511315ac.jpg

    could be successfully marketed as an appetite suppressant and as Birth Control.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      #GAGA Giving America Gonorrhea Again!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        LOL!

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Maybe as a result of a “Bad Romance”?

    • natoslug

      What a perfect couple. Brave of them to come out like this in our current political climate.

    • Parakeetist

      Or an emetic.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I seriously hope EVERY candidate Bannon backs fails miserably. I hope Bannon gets caught up in some sort of sex scandal, and is exposed as Vladimir Putin’s brother. I seriously hate Bannon, and everything his gross, putrid, face stands for.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Agreed and Endorsed!

      • Covfefe

        I’m sorry, I cannot let Bannon getting caught up in some sort of sex scandal pass. It takes two to make a sex scandal. Who? Who? Male or female? Who?

        • Alan

          You mean what.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Not ‘who.’ ‘What.’

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          If I had to bet on his scandal, I’d say “dead hooker” but I’m not really sure what sex.

      • Arolpin

        I hope Bannon chokes to death on Drumpfs’ cock, and in his throes, causes Drumpf to fall back and hit his head on the sharp corner of a ballot box filled with really sharp votes.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Thank you for saying what I was thinking!

      • divegrl

        He looks and acts like he is in the late stage of liver failure

        • Petunia Cat

          Nah, people with liver disease sleep a lot. Oh. Could be. I think the real mystery is why he wears so many shirts at the same time. 🤔

          I say it’s going to turn out every single weirdo in this whole presidency/scandal was coked to the gills the whole time. Think about it, they’re all rich guys. Hollywood, Wall Street. Whatever category you put Trump into. Cocaine, mark my words.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    If they keep this up eventually Trump will have to shoot someone on 5th Avenue just to keep his base happy.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Pence?

  • DerrickWildcat

    Bannon wants anything that will create a shit storm.

  • Oh FFS of course he does. Saw that coming up Broadway.

  • stankbait

    Roid Rage posterboy with a rasin sack for a testesachal.
    Puffed up banty rooster with more feathers than meat.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    It’s stunning to me that gay people (or people of color, or women, or anyone with a brain) could look at this party and say “yes, these are the people who will look after my interests.”

    • Parakeetist

      Indeed.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Hey, you could have a workers’ paradise if the workers would vote for it, but somebody told them it would be naughty.

      • MarinaJCapone

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !dw271d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleInternetSportComunityWorkFromHome/make/more ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!dw271luu

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Very few gay people or people of color voted for him. Many women did vote for him, but they are conservative first and women last.

    • divegrl

      They have drunk the kool-aid

  • Mildred Broxon

    Not ordinarily in favor of criticizing people’s looks, but Grimm resembles one of the earlier forms of humanoid. Not as evolved as a Neanderthal, either. Neanderthals were good folks. Went to high school with them.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      H. doucheian bagus?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I did the National Geographic DNA thingie and it turns out I have a higher than average percentage of neanderthal DNA.
      We’re not all bad.

      • Ill-Advised

        I’m on that hill, too. The one in Germany, with cro-Magnons on one side, and the Neanderthal camp on the other. Never dreamed I had central European ancestry, either.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I knew I had a touch of bohunk. The big surprise, and the funnest part, is that it turns out I’m like 6% Jewish. Shalom!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Think I could hit you up for a loan. I know you people control all the money.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Craziest damn thing- a few days after I got my results in the mail, I received a handwritten, hand-delivered note from one of the Rothschilds welcoming me to the cabal.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Ex-FBI, if you can believe it. I thought the Bureau had standards. Grimm is another authoritarian, jack-booted thug, eager for power.

    • ariel_gee_398

      NY FBI. The same people what insisted on pushing to reopen Hillary’s investigation, allegedly, forcing Comey’s hand, allegedly, all at the bidding of Giuliani.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Giuliani has turned into such a rage ball, watching him with spit flying out of his mouth at the GOP’s convention was truly disgusting.

        • Covfefe

          The little dog always barks louder and longer.

    • Paul Dietzel

      Recall that Hoover’s FBI, since they had no idea how to take on the Mob and certainly no way to defeat it, instead just insisted for years that it didn’t exist. It took a sheriff or something in upstate Apalachin NY to put 2+2 together and bring it into the open to where Hoover couldn’t get away with ignoring it anymore.

  • Daniel

    “Steve! I think we should put a picture of us on that twitting thing!”
    “Yeah [burp] definitely. Wait a sec…”
    “Wha…”
    [faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaraaa… arr… ar. ar…….
    t…squeeak]
    “There we go. Now, [burp] where are we taking this wait…”
    “What now?”
    “Bit of [burp] sick, swallowed it back down though. Not like fucking liberals.”
    “I hate them.”
    “[BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP] Yeah, everyone does. So where are we going to take the pict[uuuuuuuuuuuuuurp] that will win us this thing?”
    “I was thinking in front of the painting of a boat listing on a stormy sea!”
    “Sounds good.”

    • MrTusks

      So he’s Rick Sanchez, but not as smart, and just as amoral.

  • Iron Monkey

    Steve Bannon will bite on anything dangled in front of him that smells like white rage.

    • Daniel

      I never thought I’d feel sorry for Steven Miller.

  • bubbuhh
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Homo Sapiens Neanderthalensis libelz!!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Good lord. did you make that?

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      They should do a DNA test for Neaderthal genes it could be a new high.

  • Walter Wellstone

    It seems that picture was taken before President Bannon had his first bottle of vodka for the day. He doesn’t look drunk for a change.

    • Parakeetist

      Is he one of those Orc things?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        “Rise, my Uruk-Hai!”

        • MrTusks

          Trump 2016

          They have a cave troll!

  • lucidamente

    “I’ll break you in half. Like a boy.” is Steve Bannon’s go-to pickup line.

    • Candy Matson

      Same.

      (just kidding!)

  • msanthropesmr

    Far be it from me to make fun of the way someone looks.

    • Candy Matson

      Has he made it onto South Park yet? (Is South Park still on?)

  • DesertedPictures

    Am I being unfair to the nice man if I think that he meant something racial with his ‘like a boy’ remark?

    • Parakeetist

      Nope.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It wasn’t racial, it was homophobic. The reporter is gay.

      • DesertedPictures

        Maybe I am overthinking this, but in some parts of the US they would call black men ‘boys’. And if he says break him ‘like a boy’…. But as I said: maybe I’m being unfair.

        Maybe he is just a homophobe.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Grimm is a monster, and probably a racist, but in this instance I think it was meant as an attack on the masculinity of the white, gay reporter, who happens to be a lot smaller than Grimm. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d2bb8592a872c44b1ce88c303a2d8d02fe982eb3ffcb7c8e6860bab12c833abf.jpg

          • DesertedPictures

            It’s so hard to know in what way these people are horrible from day to day…

            So many options to choose from.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            That’s why Donnie invented ‘AOT,K’

          • MrTusks

            At this point I don’t think it’s unjust to assume racist until proven otherwise.

  • Parakeetist

    Yet another motherfucker who wants to hurt my old home state.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    It’s so hard for me to understand how the people who have been given the most by this country (the Kochs, the Mercers, the Trumps, Steve Bannon, Paul Ryan, etc…) are the least happy with this country. “Let’s blow the country up, turn it into a theocratic dictatorship, and see how that works out! This democratic republic shit is just getting old.”

    • They plan on being the ones in charge, so it will probably work out well for them.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I don’t know, things usually don’t work out so well once the peasants rise up in anger.

    • Ellie

      Because then they will no longer have to pretend they are not in charge and in control of our politicians.

  • Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands of other ex-felons who’ve paid their debt to society still don’t even have the right to vote.

    (I know, I know, he’s white, Republican, and well-connected and many of them are not.)

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Most paroled convicts walk out the gate with $25 in their pocket and absolutely no chance of getting any sort of job because of that felony conviction. O.J. goes golfing.

  • bbayliss

    If he runs can he vote for himself?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Fortunately for people other than him, NY has pretty good laws on getting the right to vote back after a felony conviction.

  • Nounverb911

    Is this a long lost “Grimm’s FairiyTale”?

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    I have confidence that my fellow New Yorkers will never re-elect this drooling idiot oh wait it’s Staten Island never mind.

    • Nounverb911

      Staten Island to secede from reality in 3…2…1…

    • bbayliss

      (and shortly after being reelected despite the charges against him),

    • ariel_gee_398

      But also Bay Ridge! Oh…

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Fuhgeddaboutit.

    • Ricky Gay
      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Should be t-rump pic on screen.

    • therblig

      in order to call itself the “5 Boro Bike Tour”, the ride has to go through staten island (although riding over the verrazano is a kick, but i wish we could use the upper level). the 3-4 miles from the finish to the ferry is all the SI i ever want or hope to see. just glad NJ got first pick and passed when offered.

  • bubbuhh

    Does Grimm have his hand in Bannonz butt crack? Izzat why they have those expresshuns? Wuz Grimm checkin out how boy breakable Bannon was?

  • Baconzgood

    A fat unshaven loud mouth morally lacking douchebag wants to be the king maker of the GOP?

    I think we did this before in the 90’s. Or is this transcripts of 25 year old AM talk radio that they put on the Internet? Like “New Koch”? Every few years the Cocoa Cola tries it. Hell I just saw Crystal Pepsi is in the market again That will be more successful the second time around, just like “Voo-Doo Economics”.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Not baby ducks!

    ETA for clarification:
    http://sunnyanyway.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/dim.gif

    • doktorzoom

      I’m glad some people still recognize the classics.

  • Daniel
    • SeeTrain65

      Insane Clown Patsies.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Dude, ease up on the bronzer. Staten Island voters don’t like anyone who isn’t Sour Cream White.

    • BosGrl

      Fake brown is usually ok, especially with the “tell me again why I can’t do blackface?” crowd.

    • Jeffery Campbell

      Perhaps, but I’m thinking they adore a bully, masquerading as a tough guy. He is kinda hot though and he may have learned a trick or two in the hoosegow that I might find amusing.

    • MrTusks

      I thought Staten Island was second only to Beverly Hills in tanning beds per capita.

  • exinkwretch

    Perfect member of Congress! Since he already been convicted of tax evasion and campaign finance scams, he’s learned his lesson and will never, ever do anything bad again. Plus, he’ll ice any nosy reporters next time instead of just threatening them. A new, better man! Grimm in 2018!

    • DesertedPictures

      And I’m sure he will carry this attitude of ‘after the punishment we have to give people chances agains since they learned their lesson’ with him…. He will be a great spokesmen for ex-con-rights!

      Right?

  • Asterix

    And the fuckwits on SI will vote for him.

  • SweetDeeKat

    Why can felons hold office? The guy served time for fuck’s sake. It’s tougher to get a job at 7-11 than get elected to the House.

    • DesertedPictures

      Because after you do your time, you have payed your debt to society and you get a new chance. (Even at running for office). To bad he learned so little from his time in prison.

      The shamefull thing is in the worker that can’t get a job at 7-11, not that he is legally allowed to do this.

      • SweetDeeKat

        I didn’t mean to sound unsympathetic. It’s just that this asshole springs back to life after a 3 year old conviction, and my clients can’t support their families because they got caught with weed in the car when they were 17 years old.

        • That’s a feature, not a bug, I am sorry to say. If they can get legitimate employment, they may escape from the revolving-door for-profit prison system.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Maybe we need a sex offender registry, but for corrupt politicians. Prohibit running for and holding future office unless a judge finds them rehabilitated and takes them off the registry, make them wear a big scarlet G and personally notify people in their districts of past crimes.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Because after you do your time, you have payed your debt to society and you get a new chance*

        *Unless you’re Black or Brown.

        • The Flaming Carrot

          And especially if you’re Jim Bakker.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          If you’re Black or Brown, going to prison just pays the interest on that debt.

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          Or poor.

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        “Because after you do your time, you have payed your debt to society and you get a new chance. ”

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Not in US of America.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Because we trust the voters to take all the relevant information into account and make judgments about the suitability for office of the candidates. Why we continue to do that, I don’t know. Clearly we suck at it.
      (Not that I think a felony conviction should necessarily be a bar to holding office, especially given the inherent racism of our criminal justice system. But you’d hope that most crimes of financial malfeasance would be disqualifying for voters.)

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Jesus forgave him?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      It’s getting to the point that Congressman is the only job you can get without peeing in a cup.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Bannon actually looks like he hasn’t been on a meth and Mad Dog 20/20 bender in the past week. Color me shocked.

    • cheetojeebus

      He’s switched over to pounding viagra and jackin’ it to Night and Fog.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I think that political reporters should begin an intense tradition of martial arts training – like, should be at least two belts in, in a full-contact style, before getting a Hill beat or state legislature beat. It would just do my heart so much good to hear a reporter say to some asshole like this, real calm-like, “go for it, bro.”

    (Edit: as violent ideation goes, I hope that’s abstract enough).

  • Why is Bannon wearing two button-down shirts, one on top of another? What the fuck?

    • Daniel

      Sometimes he wears three at once. It’s his thing. He thinks it’s intimidating.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I remain convinced that somehow, figuring out the multiple shirts thing is the key to understanding Steve Bannon. Is he hiding some deformity? Is it a signal? It must have some meaning.

      • Daniel

        Forget it, ariel. It’s button down.

        • Button

          Why is Bannon wearing a shirt made of my feathers?

      • BeachLoafer

        If he’s doing it to hide some deformity, he’s doing a piss-poor job of it – a few shirts wrapped around his face would be a lot more effective.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      It’s one of his trademarks. Like flatulence and his hideous, pustule ridden face.

      • Daniel

        The multiple shirts help trap the escaping gases so he can smell it later.

    • cheetojeebus

      It was a frat boy ‘style’ choice around the time he was in college, sort of the equivalent of someone walking around today with a fucking mullet.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It’s gotta be a Lizard People thing.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Bad B.O.

    • Grumpy Twat

      My dad used to do it, but he’s got Alzheimer’s.

    • SeeTrain65

      The inside shirt soaks up the oil, bile and smegma that seeps through the undershirt.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • SayItWithWookies

    In that photo of the two of them, Bannon really looks like they’re celebrating after Bannon ordered Grimm to steal a little girl’s tricycle and he just brought it to him.

  • Stulexington

    “I shouldn’t have allowed my emotions to get the better of me and lose my cool.” Tell me again how women can’t be preznut because they’ll get their emotions all over the place and do crazy, irresponsible, reckless things.

    • Candy Matson

      periods

      • Petunia Cat

        Whereas since Trump is a man the crazy it’s just a continuous flow.

        PS menstruation doesn’t make women crazy or emotional. It makes us good at tolerating pain.

    • Alan

      That’s different because uterus.

  • Baconzgood

    Well….at least the MAGA dudes don’t lie about about how much they are into cheating and graft. I guess you can respect that a little more than the Dick Cheney bunch.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Oh, he lies, all right. He never answered the Breitbart “reporter’s” question about why he was convicted.

  • Grimm looks like he’s a couple of chromosomes short of a genome.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Naw, extra Y chromosome.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Is he the first to have a Z-minus Chromosome?

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I remember learning in college back in the day that half of all pregnancies miscarry due to genetic abnormalities before the woman could even guess she was pregnant.
        This guy proves it’s not a perfect system.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Has this been cleared with his parole officer?

  • kindness

    Staten Island, I get it that you are a Republcan enclave in NYC, but please, please don’t vote for this little man. He like Trump thinks the Mafia Don image is the proper way to carry out one’s political job. It isn’t. And speaking of NY’s crazies, when is someone going to do something about the damn Mercer family that is funding all the madness out there. Seriously.

    • Three Finger Salute

      The lying crooked media isn’t reporting on it because the lying crooked media is owned by them, Murdoch and Sinclair.

    • SDGeoff3

      Now they wil do it just out if spite.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Wait, he’s convicted of a felony and yet retains his right to vote and serve in Congress?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I don’t think he can vote in elections in NY.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        At least he can’t vote for himself.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          New York. Individuals convicted of a felony are ineligible to vote while incarcerated and on parole. Voting rights are automatically restored upon completion of parole,

    • ariel_gee_398

      Felon voting rights are determined by the states. In NY, once you’re off parole, you can vote. All you have to do is re-register.

      • Candy Matson

        Wouldn’t a disenfranchised con have a lawsuit, if some states allow felons to vote in federal elections, how can other states arbitrarily say no? I’m no fancy lawyer, or even a schlubby one, but I’m kind of surprised this is one of those leave-to-the-states kind of things.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Because the Constitution specifically leaves it to the states to determine the manner in which elections for federal office are held, unless Congress chooses to step in an override those laws.

          • Candy Matson

            Gotcha. Probably made more sense back then, now it seems too arbitrary.
            And congress can’t do shit, so there you have it.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Just a wild guess, but historically that may have been to prevent Northern states from forcing the South to let slaves or free blacks vote. Or being forced to let whites who don’t own property vote. Most of the time when you see a concession to “states’ rights” in the Constitution, it was done to ensure the South actually ratified the damn thing.

    • Edith Prickly

      Come on, it’s not like he knelt during the national anthem…

  • The Flaming Carrot
    • Baconzgood

      What does even the mean?

      • SDGeoff3

        Something stinky this way comes.

        • Baconzgood

          I have no response to the accuracy of that snark.

    • Nockular cavity

      What game? Find-your-own-dick? I think Bannon’s gonna lose that one.

      • SeeTrain65

        “All right, Mike. We’ll call it a draw. I can’t find mine either.”

    • puredog

      I ALMOST started a Twitter account for the sole purpose of noting that this photo originally appeared in the “Vows” section of the Sunday NYT.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    He wears two shirts to contain his ruptured viscera, animated to unholy life and sentience by horrors from beyond time and space.

    • House0fTheBlueLights
    • Daniel

      Under his shirt in B’Non dead Cthulu lies farting.

      • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

        Oh for the good old days of R’lyeh. Say what you will, at least Cthulhu didn’t reek of botulism tainted beans and herring.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Bannon – putting the (R) in SHI(r)TS.

  • Rebecca Johnson

    A YouTuber named James Willems said a gay guy hit on him in the gym by whispering “I’d rip you in half.” I think it’s flirting.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Taking a photo with a Catholic Cardinal hanging out with kids can’t be helpful. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cfebed400de7bab1798fabf330bbbd5d1edeb9f105c871c1dc54b723c214571c.jpg

    • Three Finger Salute

      Better check the church basement for pizza ovens…

      • SDGeoff3

        Uh oh.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Ugh, that’s Dolan, right?
      Asshole.

      • SDGeoff3

        I enjoyed the service at St Patrick’s when Dolan was publicly masturbating about the multi million dollar restoration and refurbishing. Called the pope “papacito” and completely missed the disdain on the pope’s face. What a huckster too. Sounds like a carnival barker.

    • puredog

      That boy on the lower right is all, “if only everybody knew what I’ve undergone.”

      • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

        It reminds me of when I was in Catholic school. The only time we saw the priest was when he taught Bible Study. After that, the sisters did a pretty good job keeping him away from the kids.

    • SeeTrain65

      RUN, CHILDREN. RUN!

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Trump got elected, so now all subpar white assholes think they have a good shot.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Well…

  • Three Finger Salute

    That guy isn’t even real. He can’t be. He looks like if someone did a bad Photoshop face-merge of Tim Allen, Joel Osteen and Jeremy Piven.

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    Yup, clown sounds like he’ll fit right in with the schoolyard bullies and incompetent twunts in Congress.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Satan has Bannon’s soul in a jar somewhere.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

      That’s precious. He fought for the KKK’s right to be heard, but sportsball players need to STFU and GTFO.

    • Baconzgood

      Whoda thunk it.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Best of twitter

    “I’m concerned about the growth on his right arm”

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Twitter on Mnuchin’s wedding pics?

  • Baconzgood

    That (and I’m not fat shaming here) picture is like when an ugly woman makes friends with two morbidity obese girls so she can look better…only its with corruption, and there is no ugly skinny girl between them at last call.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Also known as “the reason so many brides force women who are supposedly their most beloved friends and family members to wear fugly-ass bridesmaid dresses”.

      • Baconzgood

        So I’m not sexist for noticing that too also. I always kept it to myself and let my date point that out on the way home.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I can’t claim to be the arbiter of what is or isn’t sexist, but I don’t think it is.
          There are unfortunately assholes out there that think nothing of doing this sort of thing and can’t comprehend why anyone would think that’s a shitty thing to do.

        • ahughes798

          Yep. It’s a thing.After about the first two weddings, I was done with being a bridesmaid.

          • Baconzgood

            “AAAaaa…how does Baconz say this politely… so I’ll just say it…let’s dance do some shooters dance some more, do some shots, then find the confessional in the church and screw?”

            That can be really charming at an Irish wedding. And the success rate would surprise you

          • ahughes798

            I don’t have to buy an ugly dress to do those things. I’d just go to the bar down the street.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Most of which are hideously expensive and are so ugly should never be worn again.

        • Jukesgrrl

          And sometimes aren’t. I took off a bridesmaid’s dress after a wedding and threw it in the trash bin at the hotel. That thing was not going to contaminate my closet at home.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Exactly twice, in my many and varied foray into bridesmaidom did I get a “keeper” dress.

    • ahughes798

      Or, how a pretty girl makes friend with some that aren’t so pretty, so she looks even better. I’m not sure it’s done consciously, but it does make you wonder.

      • Baconzgood

        This why I think the “hottest ” girls are the ones that stimulate my mind.

        Frankly Shanz. May be a 92 year old retired male trucker….but to Baconzgood she is a 17 year old girl I’m want to ask to Sr. Prom.

        And I’m a 15 year old freshman.

        • ahughes798

          That’s why I don’t understand the red-piller’s insistence that all women want Chads. I’m not even attracted to Chad types. I like smart, funny, nerdy guys. I’m lucky to have found my guy. The problem with the “incels” is they LOVE women….but they don’t like them. And that’s why they’re so fucked up.

  • Baconzgood

    This picture needs so much of Baconz patented Cock Punch*. I even want to Cock Punch* the “starving artist” that painted that shitty nondescript hotel painting in the backround.

    *patent pending

  • cheetojeebus

    Oogie Boogie’s had a makeover?

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    You left out that only $0.25 of that $4 was to be used to expand broadband internet for school classes. $3.75 was to be used to fund the New Black Panther Party.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Hi district was Staten Island, right? He’s a shoe in to be elected there again.

  • rosenbomb

    Every time I see a picture of Steve Bannon, my eggs go into hiding.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    You know what’s been French politicians’favourite excuses for “forgetting” to pay their taxes ? Administrative phobia. The fear of doing paperwork. I don’t know if it works for ordinary people though.

    • MizzMazz

      I have it. I hate the whole paperwork thing, having to sit in an office while going through everything, and feel such a relief when it is over. But then I pay my taxes, I do it anyway, despite the anxiety.
      I hate cleaning out the catbox too, but it’s far worse if you don’t do it.

    • SeeTrain65

      Right up there with “My poodle ate my homework.”

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    And, let’s be serious for a second. Everything is either projection or inadequacy with the se assholes.

    Everything.

    Their enemies are accused of having the character defects that they have.

    Their friends embody their ideal of virile masculinity, that they themselves will never live up to.

  • George

    That’s actually a photo of Michael Grimm (better known as Psychotic Eddie Munster) and the corpse of a man he broke in half back in 1996. He keeps the bodies in his home office. He hauls them out come campaign time in Staten Island.

    • Petunia Cat

      I thought the psychotic Eddie Munster was Paul Ryan. #Werewolf 🤔

      • George

        I was told Paul Ryan is Dickhead Eddie Munster. Either way, it’s a cult.

  • BMW

    Didn’t one of the comics publishers used to have a title called “Super Villian Team-Up”?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    2 shirts looks more like a corpse every day. Seriously. I’d be worried about his health if, you know, I gave a shit about his health.

    • theCryptofishist

      2 Shirts, Two Scoops, How high can these folks count?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Drain the swamp…because we need new candidates for Congress!”
    – Steve “What, Me Worry?” Bannon

  • jesuswasablack

    We let convicted felons run for the house? In some states he wouldn’t be allowed to even vote?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      He’d be par for the course in Albany.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        It’s a feature not a bug

      • dshwa

        Pretty sure corruption charges are a prerequisite up there. Sure aren’t a barrier

      • puredog

        “Par for the course” is this Administration’s would-be motto.

    • Kooolest G

      that always struck me as bullshit though, wouldn’t it seem like the people who should get the right to vote the most would be the people most affected by the laws our elected representatives are writing? if not why didn’t Obama and the democratic majority in 2009 make a law that watching fox news was a felony.

  • Panika MCD

    Steve Bannon always wears 3 shirts: 2 button ups and one undershirt.
    https://www.thecut.com/2017/09/why-steve-bannon-wears-so-many-shirts.html

    and while he’s not the only Congress critter to ever tell off a reporter, he might want to talk to his former colleagues about how to do it without death threats. or not. I guess Gianforte got elected after telling a reporter he’s body slam him. but Grimm is running in NY whose rural areas like to have at least the impression of civility. this ain’t the West.

    • NerdWithNoName

      There was a guy who rode on the same commuter bus as me who always seemed to be wearing all his clothes at the same time, 3 shirts and 2 pairs of pants. He was also carrying several bags of very valuable stuff he had picked from garbage cans that day. You did not want to sit next to this guy. When I saw Bannon with 2 shirts I immediately thought of my old bus buddy.

      • Panika MCD

        I have one of those on my regular bus. I really feel bad for the guy. I do not feel bad for Steve Bannon and think it would be an insult to compare him to Bannon.

      • ahughes798

        Fatty Two Shirts and Donnie Two Scoops…..a match made in hell.

      • SDGeoff3

        The Layered Look was all the rage in the mid 70’s through the early 80’s. Works great in cold weather, but as a permanent Look, I’d have to say…no.

    • ahughes798

      I didn’t know a convicted felon would be eligible for elected office. I thought there was a rule against that, seeing as they make even voting real hard for convicted felons who’ve served their time?!

      • Panika MCD

        depends on the seat they’re seeking and the state they’re seeking it in.

      • Nockular cavity

        It’s not like he was born in “Hawaii,” or something.

    • Nockular cavity

      Gianforte didn’t threaten to body slam a reporter, he actually did it. And then got elected.

      • Panika MCD

        I forgot that he actually did it. ah, me. it has been a long year.

        • Petunia Cat

          #MostLaborIntensiveScandalEver 😞🤤😴😳

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        And then lied about it, but thank to no backsies on mail-in votes…

      • Jukesgrrl

        In the home state of our Wonkette Babby, I regret to note.

  • Viktor

    The basement of Steve Bannon’s embassy was the inspiration for the Comet Ping Pong conspiracy theory.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      It’s ALWAYS projection with these guys.

  • dshwa

    We’ll send him back too, just watch. My upstate New York town reelected our state senator while he was under indictment for bribery and corruption and his campaign slogan was “Actions speak louder.”

    • Jukesgrrl

      I used to love it when Law & Order sent its cops “upstate” to solve some crime that occurred in NYC. Lenny almost always met Nazis or super-corrupt cops up there.

      • Lambsendbeds

        Dun DUN !

      • dshwa

        Most of Upstate is very much the South without the accent.

    • Petunia Cat

      Reminds me of Calvin Trillin’s joke about a corrupt politician in Buffalo, saying his slogan should be Never Been Indicted. That wouldn’t even work for your guy. 🤦🏻‍♀️

  • blarg

    THIS IS MY DISTRICT!!!

  • puredog

    “But he damned well better explain what he
    meant by ‘break you in half like a boy,’ or at the very least allow an
    inspection of his home’s crawl space.”
    It cannot be pointed out too often that this here website may be the only source of such soaring flights of lyricism.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Obama’s cell phone tax was “blatant, bold, and brazen” and the Founding Fathers would be spinning in their graves? Hm, it’s ALMOST like he’s trying to wedge a special message in there for anyone who really wants to listen.

  • kittygrrl

    Nothing says GOP cuck better than I will break you in half like a boy which sounds suspiciously like Catholic priest pedophile talk. Will a den of thieves make it illegal for previously incarcerated thieves to join their club of rat fuckery of the people? Vegas shooter wasted his bullets on the good and the kind when he could have taken out the wicked and the evil like himself.

    • Donna Mueller

      someone ALWAYS shoots the WRONG people in america!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • phoenix00

      Also sounds like white supremacist dickhole

  • SDGeoff3

    So what’s with his face where the top part got short changed and the bottom part got overcompensated?

    • LiberalANDProud

      Hes’ got Bannon’s balls in his mouth.

      • SDGeoff3

        I’m sure they are as cute as his speed bumps.

  • Charon_69

    Hold up; you mean to say that in (wait, doing math) 241 years you’ve never passed a law to say convicted felons can’t serve in the House or Senate?
    Yeah yeah we probably haven’t either but we let people canoe drunk while you guys have nukes

    • They can’t vote in some states, however. Not sure about NY.

  • LiberalANDProud

    The NY-1 reporter should have been fired. He’s working in New York City, the media capital of the world. “If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.” NEW…FUCKING…YORK…CITY.

    The NY solution to this bullying by Michael Grimm was to throw HIM off the balcony first.

    • Donna Mueller

      ya beat me to it!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Beezelbubbles

      Wouldn’t the solution be to throw his mother off the balcony, followed by anyone who has ever known him, and THEN him? Or is that just a Jersey thing?

  • Bad Scooter

    Does Steve Bannon know that there’s an entire industry dedicated to serving those of us who hate to iron? #MAWFA! (Make America Wrinkle-Free Again!!!!11!1!!)

  • CATMAN

    Thank you, Republicans for exposing your cynical disregard for conventional ethics by showing that being a criminal does not disqualify one from elective office but may even be an enhancement

    • sarafina

      Grimm will be neither the first nor last Republican felon in office.

  • Zyxomma

    NO, no, no Michael Grimm. No. Max Rose should win easily, but this is Murikka.

  • Mike Steele

    Hey, our money’s on Grimm. Seems that, since he created them, President Bannon is having his way with the merry Trumpanzees. After Cheeto is long gone, and folks let down their guard, Bannon/Conway/Mercer/Putin kleptocracy looks like they’re going to have a long run. That’s what keeps us up nights…and a certain ‘urgency’ that comes with age…

  • phoenix00

    “You mean, I have a chance?” – also convicted felon Dinesh D’Souza

  • LouRod

    hold up, convicted felons can’t vote so how can they run for office!!!

  • Bill Diaz

    Felonious, violent and ignorant behavior is the sine qua non for the GOP now, watch how many of them go to prison for illegally dealing with the Russian!

    Have a great day!

Previous articleMike Pence Faked A Rage-Gasm At A Football Game? Cool Story Bro.
Next articleGOP Sen. Bob Corker Has Only Just Begun To Talk Shit About Donald Trump