SHARE
This screengrab is demonstrably cruel. #WINNING

NBC is having a confuse, everyone. Its bigwig executives are scratching their heads trying to figure out why Megyn Kelly’s new show, “Santa Claus Is White And So Am I,” is going so poorly. It’s very unfair that people are rejecting it, just because it is a piping hot turd of sadness and failure. WHAT A PICKLE OF A QUESTION.

It’s like an implosion,” one NBC insider told me last week. […] “Everyone is surprised at how quickly it’s gone badly,” this person continued. “People are just like, ‘oh my god.’”

Yeah, sadface. Nobody could have anticipated that a loud partisan asshole Fox News hack might not just seamlessly turn into White Oprah, just because you gave her $17,000,000 to turn into White Oprah.

But it will be OK! Vanity Fair quotes an NBC insider who says Kelly has “built up some genuine good will inside the building,” and, you know, practice makes perfect. Maybe by this time next week we’ll all be marveling at how Kelly’s show has turned into must-see TV that makes you gay, just like “Will & Grace.”

We are going to keep a positive attitude, just like the NBC execs. In that spirit, we have some helpful suggestions for shows NBC might want to hire some other Fox News assholes and other wingnuts to do, because, hey, why fix an idea that’s completely and utterly broken beyond repair?

  • “Huggin’ On The Minorities, With Tucker Carlson.” Because Tucker LOVES Minorities!
  • “Laura Ingraham Visits Sick Kids And Makes Their Make-A-Wishes Come True.” Because AWWWWWW she’s so warm and cuddly.
  • “Sean Hannity: Sex Chat!” Because sex is a thing he has definitely had.
  • “Fuck It, We’ll Cook It Live! With Bill O’Reilly.” Wouldn’t it be fun to watch him cook exotic falafel thingies, on television?
  • “Rush Limbaugh: ABS OF STEEL.” An exercise show!
  • “Erick Erickson And This Goat Are Not Fucking, They Are Just Co-Hosts!” For real, they are not fucking!
  • “Didn’t We Try This Already? Didn’t It Go Pretty Bad? With Greta Van Susteren.”

RATINGS GOLD, NBC! Make all royalties payable to MYSELF, please.

Also gold? Your open thread.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.

Wonkette salaries, servers, and all of the things are fully funded by readers like you! Click here to keep us ad-free!

[Vanity Fair]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • MrTusks

    She’s learning! She’s new at this!

  • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

    “Alex Jones: Calm’s a Lotion, Calm as the Ocean”.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Everyone is surprised at how quickly it’s gone badly,” this person continued. “People are just like, ‘oh my god.’”

    Are you sure they weren’t talking about Donald’s reign of terror?

    • MrTusks

      That wasn’t a surprise.

  • What she needs to do is hire some wardrobe malfunctioners for her team. Then get hot, relevant, young celebrities to go on the show and somehow have oops moments.

    JLaw, what do you think of the climate change hoax the liberal left media is pushing on everyone. Oops your top fell off.
    JustinTrudeau, why don’t you love America? Oops your pants exploded.

    And so on….

  • SnowBomber

    Would potentially pay money to watch the (sure, Jan) non goat fucking. For the wtfuckery value. I’m not a freak, damn it.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Jesse Watters’ Bedtime Stories

    • Historicat

      Jesse seems like the type who has a court order mandating he stay at least 20 feet away from children at all times.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Maybe they could put together a children’s show where random kids flip Jesse off and tell him to fuck off. I’d watch that.

    • peteywheats

      Donald’s Wetter Bedtime Stories

  • Beanz&Berryz
    • renegade500

      I love RBG so hard.

    • SnowBomber

      Gorsuch looks like someone Pa Ingalls would beat the shit out of.

      • The Wanderer

        No, Pa Ingalls would wait until the worst winter blizzard, then slice him open and climb inside him like a Tauntaun to keep warm.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And our own mom’s watching on the TeeVee would nod approvingly.

      • Sally

        Yeah, he’d be the well-dressed, dapper snake oil salesman who tries to convince all the prim and proper ladies of Walnut Grove that they need to have more kids, and his potion will make that happen!!

    • alpacapunchbowl
    • Cock Blockula

      I’ll wait for $5 Feminist’s write-up of the exchange…

  • ManchuCandidate

    Megyn Kelly’s Friends.
    Synopsis: just her talking to a mirror

  • therblig

    The Cushionstain Bears, with Ainsley Earhardt, Steve Doocy & Brian Kilmeade trying to get audience members to sit next to them on the couch of mystery soil.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Game of Morons: You win and they die.

  • Blackest Noobs

    i am surprised to even say this but Katie Lee & Hoda drinky wine hour was helluva better than this shit Megz is putting out.

    maybe it’s all the bleeding from her eyes, and her whatevers…i dunno.
    and i fucking HATE Katie Lee…so that’s saying a bit much.

    • Meccalopolis

      Hota was a regular when I bartender in new orleans

  • Daniel Hooper

    “Maybe by this time next week we’ll all be marveling at how Kelly’s show has turned into must-see TV that makes you gay, just like “Will & Grace.”

    I don’t think Megan’s making anybody gay, in any definition of that word.

    Now, if she’s replaced with Nathan Fillion, then I will happily be gay for him and his show.

    • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

      “30 Minutes of Nathan Fillion’s Ass” would be more worth watching and informative than anything Megyn does.

      Annnnnd now I’m gonna go to my bunk, tyvm.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “error: CBC video not available in your region”

        Grrrr….

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I’m guessing the people who would like to watch crap like that won’t watch it because they expect the show to be Megyn on a couch between two idiots and the people who want to see her on a couch between two idiots are pissed when the tune in and discover it’s not.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ot….but
    [ “That goodness is our lighthouse and our solace is knowledge that the souls of those who passed are now at peace in heaven.” __ Dotard J. Trump, moron]

    Oh goddamn….I hate that sort of purple prose! And we know that Dame Noonan of Gin Blossom didn’t write it. Who the hell came up with that turgid Victorian obituary notice?

    https://media.giphy.com/media/ne3WPF18cWvMQ/giphy.gif

    • BigCSouthside

      I can’t stand that shit. Makes it so easy to basically minimize the tragedy, dehumanize the victims, and write it all off.

      Fuck that. They are fucking dead. They will never see the sunshine or hug a loved one or pet a puppy or eat a great meal or laugh ever again because for some fucking reason we think we should allow every dumbshit in this country to buy enough fucking assault weapons to outfit an infantry platoon. These people were fucking murdered because congressmen get a few grand from an organization that literally makes money off of these kinds of incidents.

      “They’re in a better place”. Fuck you. Here on earth with everyone they loved was probably pretty fucking good and where they should still be.

      Sorry I’m irritated I have not smoked in like 6 hours

      • MizzMazz

        I just smoked, and my irritation matches yours. You put it far more eloquently than I would have.
        I hate that, “They’re in a better place” “heaven” bullshit. It’s supposed to make the speaker look and sound good and holy, but the end result is still dead people, and the living who are left to deal with the loss.

      • Bill D. Burger
    • Ricky Gay

      It was on a 99 cent card at the Big Lots

    • Zombishroom

      “That goodness is our lighthouse and our solace is knowledge that the souls of those who passed are now at peace in heaven*.” __ Dotard J. Trump, moron
      *except the gays, and non Christians.

  • renegade500

    I just want to say that physical therapy hurts more before it gets better, although I do think it will get better. That’s all I’ve got.

    Also, Fuck Trump, but that’s one of those oldies but goodies.

    (I also cannot believe it’s been almost a year since the election. I just can’t.)

    • FlownΩver

      As a recovering inert slug I can confirm a little bit of dedication to prescribed activity gets better and more rewarding earlier than you think it will.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    “The White Power Hour with Richard Spencer”

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Putting the Fash in Fashion! Starring Milo Fabulopolous”

  • The Wanderer

    Cookin’ with Roadkill, hosted by Mike Huckabee.

    • SnowBomber

      Co-hosted with his wife/daughter Sarah?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He does actually now have his own show on one of the Christian networks where he drive around in a pickup and talks to real Americans.

      • The Wanderer

        I’d love to have him try to talk to me.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I doubt he’d even try to talk to me. I have an air of uppity bitch about me. Not a real Murican!

      • Three Finger Salute

        Rick Mercer talking to morans is better. About time he brought that skit out of retirement.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFgPX0hnNfA

        • deadjello

          Thanks for that video–now I can spend the next eleventy million hours on youtube with Rick Mercer Talking to Americans. Yay!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “This week, we’re gonna be cookin’ up Possum Surprise! *murmured comment from stage director* “What? No, goddamitt! For the last time, tell him I DON’T want any dead dogs!”

      • The Wanderer

        A few friends I made a partial list of secret ingredients you won’t see on Iron Chef. In addition to opossum, we had:
        Venezuelan Beaver Cheese
        Roadkill
        Breast milk
        Goat
        Human flesh

    • Daniel

      To Defend A Predator is more what they had in mind for him.

    • clubseal

      He and Cruz can team up to use an AR to cook a dead raccoon by wrapping it around the barrel.

    • mailman27

      Creative Canine Cookery by Huck Jr.

  • jowgajen

    So I have this perfectly normal CNN article (probably autoplay because CNN) about bump stocks and what they are and why they should probably not be legal here: http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/04/us/bump-stock-las-vegas-shooting/index.html

    But the money shot is the quote from the bump stock manufacturer on why they should be legal:

    In 2010, Texas-based Slide Fire pitched the device to federal regulators as a new way to assist people with disabilities to “bump fire” an AR-15 type rifle.

    “Individuals that suffer from severe arthritis, partial paralysis, or other conditions that affect their ability to traditionally operate a firearm can now utilize the SSAR-15 and the muscular strength in their entire arm to active the firing mechanism,” the manufacturer said on its website.

    Wait. What? Are you fucking serious? C’mon, that’s clearly a hot steaming pile of fresh bullshit.

    • jesterpunk

      I mean that is a better excuse then people on other bump stock articles claiming its fun to use it to shoot a lot of bullets really fast.

    • BigCSouthside

      You gotta have a CYA explanation for why you made something that takes a weapon of war and makes it shoot faster legal

      • clubseal

        “We wanted people without arms to be able to protect their castle, so we invented the mounted gatling gun that fires based on movement.”

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I read an interview with a gun dealer that sold the latest mass murderer one of his guns. How do you live with yourself knowing that?

      • jowgajen

        Well. About the same if you sold anyone a single semi-automatic rifle. You’ve already justified it to yourself somehow.
        Now as for selling him 19 of them … or the bumpstocks … or the hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of ammo. That is probably a bit harder to self-justify, but they manage somehow.

    • Ricky Gay

      Do Not Park illegally in the handicap space!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      You too can spray virtually unaimed masses of hot stinging lead downrange!

      • jowgajen

        I’m thinking if you’re disabled enough to not be able to pull the trigger manually there is no “virtually” to the unaimed.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Even if you aren’t disabled firing full auto isn’t generally aimed fire.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            And it usually doesn’t need to be… if you have a large enough magazine.

          • Sally

            Or a large enough group target…

    • TundraGrifter

      I, like many others, had never heard of these until the Las Vegas Horror. I watched some clips of people at the range using them, and one thing for sure – they should chain up the muzzle because that baby bounces around like a drunk teenager in the back seat with his new girlfriend.

      I remember a few years ago a range employee was shot and killed when a little girl lost control of the machine gun she was firing. You can see how that can happen.

      • Sally

        Yeah, all her parents should be in jail for the murder and for endangering their 8 year old that way! Idiots.

    • Sally

      Have you seen the 15 minute infomercial Junior did promoting silencers as a way to get more kids shooting? It’s real. It’s scary.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCQS6E3e5ns

    • Ill-Advised

      “Old white men can use this with no negative reflections on their vigor or masculinity.”

  • Bananas Foster

    Where the fuck is my autumn rain?

    The blazing sunlight in Eugene right now does not fit with the news or my mood.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It was 42 this morning… That ought to ease the pain of a sunny blue sky day…

      • Bananas Foster

        The mornings have been a bit chilly…

      • The Wanderer

        It was 72 and reasonably dry this morning in Flori-duh. Managed to get the lawn mowed and all errands done before the rains started.

      • Anna Rompage

        I actually had a small fire in the wood stove last night and it was glorious!

        • Bananas Foster

          Oh, that sounds nice.

          • Anna Rompage

            It was, the house was down to 64 when I got home yesterday, and a little fire was just the trick to warm things up, and make it feel a little more like fall!

            I also noticed some of the trees around Portland are starting to turn color…

          • Bananas Foster

            A couple of trees in my yard are just beginning to get some red.

            I’m ready for it. It was a long hot dry summer!

    • Christopher Story

      I think we stole it. It’s perfectly stormy and dreary here. I’m sorry.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Megyn? One word: side boob.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Ya. And… WTF is it with pants? All “feministy” now that she’s off Fox…

      • Sally

        Well, it’s 9AM and the housewives have the kids off to school and the dishes started, so now’s the time for a cup of coffee and Good Morning America!

  • Nounverb911

    Fox News just announced that donnie will now start tweeting at 4AM eastern with the addition of a new fresher “Now With More Women” version of Fox and Fiends, ….

    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/915644113382465545

    • Their demographics marketing show that more and more old people wake really fucking early, so they need to cater to them while they have them.

      http://www.businessinsider.com/why-older-people-wake-up-early-2014-10

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      More women anchoring and hosting programs than any other cable news network on weekdays from 4am-12am/ET

      My, but that is a…specific…superlative.

      • Sally

        Ah, but do any of those women have a journalism degree, a degree in anything, or a cup size less than D?

  • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

    ~Did you find it hard to breathe?
    Did you cry so much that you could barely see?
    In the darkness all alone
    And no one cares, there’s no one there

    When life gets tough, I try to find something to hold on to. And, just like when I was little, that’s been my Heroes:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AT36kM2A_q8&list=PLgA_QpnjZQyzD7LMbBs2Fzo0yPPM2ZMA8&index=66

    ~Well did you see the flares in the sky?
    Were you blinded by the light?
    Did you feel the smoke in your eyes?
    Did you? Did you?
    Did you see the sparks fill with hope? You are not alone
    Cause someone’s out there, sending out flares

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    “Empty Vaults and the Cretins who Open Them with Geraldo Rivera”

    • Suttree

      And then get punched in the face and hit with a chair.

      • clubseal

        A natural progression.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Aaaaaaaaaand’ the reviews of Megyn’s show are in. Everyone take your place:

    https://media.giphy.com/media/26his2IPWBxk78dm8/giphy.gif

  • Ricky Gay

    “Caring Neighbors: Compassion and Empathy for our newest Americans”
    – with Stuart Varney

  • Suttree

    And S.E. Cupp has a show on CNN apparently. I’ve never watched it, even on mute.

    • The Wanderer

      “Cupp Sizes?”

      • Suttree

        Sippy Cupp.

        • TundraGrifter

          D Cupp Runneth Over.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      S.E. Two Cups

    • chazmanr

      She’s not a Fox alum, believe it or not. Bill Mahrer and MSNBC foisted that mess on America. She may be the only person who is more smug and self-assured about her intelligence (which is sorely lacking) than the Cheetos-colored, ferret-wearing, poo-flinging shitgibbon.

      • Suttree

        She truly is a jackass. I hate to admit that I think that she is attractive. I think it’s just the glasses though.

        • chazmanr

          I have to admit I found her physically attractive until she went blond. Now all I see is another empty-headed conservative nitwit.

          • Suttree

            Oh gawd. Why go blond? She was attractive as a brunette.

          • chazmanr

            I think she wanted a job on Fox. They already have a token brunette.

          • Suttree

            That would explain it.

          • Christopher Story

            Jinx!

          • Suttree

            Gah! She shouldn’t try to be blond.

        • Christopher Story

          I was too, until she went blonde and started trying to pull off that God awful red lipstick. Seriously!?! With your complexion? At least wear an outfit that compliments your makeup choices (denim doesn’t count)… Yeah, for some reason I’m much more irritated by this than I should be.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Like Adam Sandler’s career in cinema, Cupp’s career on TV is one of those mysteries we may never understand.

      • chazmanr

        NIce body, pretty face, 2-cent head. What’s to understand? She is made for American TV.

        • Ωbjectifier

          But she’s not blonde.

          • chazmanr

            You haven’t seen her lately, have you? She has been blond for over a year. And personally, I have a thing for brunettes (preferably raven-haired – like Robyn). Probably an Oedipus thing.

          • Werewolf

            Oedipus, shmedipus, as long as you love your mother.

  • Christopher Story

    I said this before and I’m saying it again (because I like the way it sounds) …ahem

    Megan Kelly only looked competent standing between O’Reilly and Hannity. She only looked smart compared to the morans around her
    And everybody who cares to pay attention already knew this.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “Show Jumping in Manolos!” with Anne Coulter

    “Boil, Cyst or Carbuncle?” with Steve Bannon

    “Gin, No Chaser” with Peggy Noonan

  • Nounverb911
    • Bananas Foster

      The best people.

    • Jamoche

      “I was hoping nobody would find out I work here”

    • BosGrl

      Ah- see, f this sort of thing happens often, she might get more viewers.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Shit, that’s right, we don’t have to do crotch shots anymore!”

  • Bill D. Burger

    Maybe Megyn could show us her tits? Just a suggestion for ratings…..ESSENTIALLY.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1bcc97d22f2df0e75d60289947ba7670549d7adbe10a01bb8bd81a8f378899a3.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      AIYEE!

      • Bill D. Burger

        We must help her! And it’s not like it would be the first time.

        https://scholarsandrogues.files.wordpress.com/2016/01/megan-kelly-gq-02-wm.jpeg

        • Bananas Foster

          The red shoes are really subtle.

          • Joe Beese

            The towering heels and tight skirt will hinder her ability to flee from my clutches.

          • Bananas Foster

            I’d be more worried about you fleeing from her clutches.

          • Joe Beese

            Oh, Beese will teach her what’s what.

            After ten minutes with me, she’ll be calling her congressman to demand single-payer healthcare.

        • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

          Y’know, when I dress sexy it’s because I want to feel sexy, not to please some elderly, drooling pervs.

          And her pose + expression in this still read more like “that Pretzel went up my butt!”

          • Bill D. Burger

            First thing that comes to my, admittedly twisted, mind is that she’s about to let a monumental fart.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            xD

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            “She’s about to let a monumental fart”

            That is exactly what I thought when I heard she got her own NBC show.

          • Ωbjectifier

            She’s doing the one cheek sneak.

          • MizzMazz

            Cuz farting on that chair will squeak.

          • Joe Beese

            I read it as “I am made so fucking horny by you, sex-god GQ reader, that I have to grind my vulva against this designer chair for a tiny measure of relief.”

        • marxalot

          From her posture, I’d have to guess that what we are seeing is the world’s most uncomfortable chair. Or! She sneezed at the wrong time and is trying to play it off until she can high-speed totter to the loo.

        • Sally

          yes, every serious lawyer I know has a picture like that. Hey, Megyn, we call the First Floozie a slut for pictures not much more revealing than that one. And, we will never watch a show you’re on.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Nothin wrong with having a sexy picture* of yourself. It’s by far the least problematic thing about her.
            *or a picture of yourself trying not to pinch a loaf

        • P’jama Pahnts

          She is lovely but in this picture she looks like she’s about to serve up a cup o’ cheese

        • clubseal

          I am torn here … on the one hand, she looks smokin’ hot, and on the other cheek, she looks like she’s about to clear the room.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            with a rip-roaring fart.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          When in meetings, I sit like that when I need to take a dump really, really badly ,but can’t excuse myself because my turn to provide a status report is coming up.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      The before-plastic surgery pics are almost as disturbing as the post-plastic surgery pics.

  • “Manhunt: Robert Durst”, hosted by Jeanine Pirro.

  • chazmanr

    “Fuck It, We’ll Cook It Live! With Bill O’Reilly.” Wouldn’t it be fun to watch him cook exotic falafel thingies, on television?

    Except a show by that name, hosted by a Fox alum would almost certainly involve throwing live chickens and pigs into an oven!

    • Ducksworthy

      Boiling oil.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Into a jet engine while running at full throttle.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    https://twitter.com/TheLocalFrance/status/915547605756657665

    I had no idea there was so many people dying of gun related incidents in my country.

    • BosGrl

      Ugh. “France has in recent years had an average of 1,800 firearms deaths each
      year, compared to the average of 33,000 gun-related deaths each year
      recently in the United States.”

      That’s a lot. More than i would have suspected.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Well, they’re known for their shit-disturbing revolutions and vestiges of colonialism too. At least they finally legislated guillotine control.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    “Steve Doocy’s Happytime Fun Hour”

  • Poly_Ester

    I guess Megyn is not the new Barbara Walters afterall.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Barbara started a show called “The View.”

      Megyn’s version would be called “The Spew.”

  • The Wanderer

    So! Did President Lord Dampnut (6,5) and First Lady Platinum Mare (7,5) talk some shit in Law Vegas today? I’ve been doing errands and yardwork this morning, and writing this afternoon, so I haven’t been paying any attention.

    • Sally

      Oh yes, he praised the doctors and nurses for their ‘miracles,’ and he hugged a first responder or two before going off on NBC about Tilllerson calling him a moron. But, it’s NOT all about him. He said so.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      This is from The Nevada Independent

      Prior to the press conference, the president addressed a gathering of first responders, including an off-duty firefighter who remained to help victims and several dispatchers, in a separate room inside police headquarters. Lombardo introduced the president to the member of the SWAT team who was the first person to engage the suspect, a K-9 officer who also assisted and two police officers who partnered with the Mandalay Bay security guard upon entering the hotel.

      “I was a fan before this — you know that,” he said, according to a pool transcript. “Everyone in this room knows that. A big fan before this. And I guess, if you could be more of a fan, I guess I’m even more of a fan now. But you showed the world, and the world is watching. And you showed what professionalism is all about, because that was about as fast — something like that could take place for hours and hours and hours, and you can’t figure it out.”

      • marxalot

        He’s a “fan”? Of what? Las Vegas? SWAT teams? Dogs? Does he even know?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          The kind of fan that spews shit.

      • alpacapunchbowl
        • chazmanr

          I have no desire to know what is in his head. I stopped watching horror films in my 20s.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            The inside of Trump’s head is a snuff film. Logic, reason, knowledge ,and sense are brutally tortured and murdered by the most horrible means imaginable–and not imaginable also too.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Trump’s stinky taint needs it’s own zipcode.

    • PubOption

      I haven’t seen Platinum Mare before.

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • Nounverb911

    Megyn’s planning her ‘War on Christmas’ special already…
    https://twitter.com/dorseyshaw/status/913157357986893824

  • Anna Rompage

    Roger Ailes ‘dating tips for the mature, married man’

    • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

      something, something, Hamburger Helper?

      • TundraGrifter

        “I don’t know why they call it ‘Hamburger’ Helper. It’s pretty tasty all by itself.”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Mr. Blobfish

    What’s That Smell? featuring the Fox and Friends couch.

    • CripesAmighty

      Sponsored by Febreze.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • The Wanderer

      “Cotton candy and Scotch whiskey?! Was there some clown fucking on that couch?”

      “You shoulda hung out, man!”

    • P’jama Pahnts

      The couch is basically the fourth host, right?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        What sad tales it could tell.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Whose Stain Is This Anyway?”

  • Crystalclear12

    17 million!

    Dear NBC,
    I may not be better but I am cheaper.
    Call me :-)

  • jesterpunk

    When do they give Susan Sarandon a show to tell us how Hillary would have been worse?

    • Bananas Foster

      That bitch is dead to me.

      (This is saying a lot, because for some reason Bull Durham tickles my sexy place like few other things.)

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        It’s hard to watch now, that’s for sure.

        • Meccalopolis

          She’s pretty much ruined rocky horror for me

    • Bill D. Burger

      As soon as she and Jill Stein return from vacation.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/5Q4GDOdmjY7Bu/source.gif

    • Suttree

      After we deport everyone there will be plenty of rotten tomatoes.

  • TundraGrifter

    Kim Davis: “America – Land of Many Religions.”

    • Suttree

      Baptists, Presbyterians,Anglicans, Methodists, Lutherans……….

      • TundraGrifter

        I don’t know there were so many flavors of vanilla!

  • clubseal

    I have my own personal nice time … I start a much needed week off from work tomorrow, and it just so happens that my new SNES Classic is supposed to arrive in the mail tomorrow as well.
    It’s the simple things.

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      Yay! :)

    • Christopher Story

      Jealous!

      • clubseal

        I wasn’t keen on supporting the ridiculous resale market on Nintendo’s under-produced new consoles, but the timing was right pay- and time-wise.

  • Ωbjectifier

    The Chevy Chase Show with Megyn Kelly.

  • Joe Beese

    So who will she have to service at Fox to get her old job back?

    • Anna Rompage

      AOT,K

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “Right in here, Mizz Megyn. You know what to do.”

      “Eww!! That’s revolting! Where did you get it, and why would you even want me to suck off Roger Ailes’ decomposing corpse!?”

      “That’s Rupert Murdoch.”

  • CripesAmighty

    Back by popular demand: The Pat Sajak Show.

  • Daniel

    Tucker’s Look– Tucker Carlson teaches a group of golden retrievers how to look properly confused by simple and predictable events.

    Blue Planet with Bill O’Reilly– a series on tides, their going in and going out and how there’s no explanation for this except that the Democrats are deliberately setting about eroding the edges of America which they hate, but which can be fought against by tuning in to BillO’s show where he will prove he’s a total Cnut and turn it back.

    Hannity!– A noirish detective serial about the hard-boiled world of the hard drinking, hard fighting investigative reporter all the dames love. This week, Seth Rich manipulated into being murdered by George Soros- what, besides the Obama government, lurks in the shadows? Does it want to piss in the same bathroom as you? Tune in at 9 to find out.

  • cmd resistor

    Well, he’s keeping up his usual level of classiness:
    https://twitter.com/RileySnyder/status/915667237217878016

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Trump does know that the mayor’s husband knows guys who know how to make wiseguys vanish in the desert, yes?

    • Sean Jungian

      AnyTHING, of course, not anyONE.

      I mean it’s a small thing but COME ON.

  • Nounverb911
    • Crank Tango

      I prefer to buy tuna and support the Venezuelan chemical weapons program.

      #wokepoke

    • Suttree

      Wait what? Does Aldi have some sort of relationship with Walmart or is that just a weird headline? I like Aldi! They have all of that stuff that you can’t find at a regular supermarket.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I don’t think so, Aldi also owns Trader Joe’s.

        • Shanzgood

          Really? Then how come we can’t get one damn Trader Joe’s in my city when we have three Aldi stores? I WANT TWO BUCK CHUCK!

      • Opalescent Riddles

        It’s headline punctuation. Such as “Erick Erickson fucks goat, self.”

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Thank God canned clam purchases support ISIS.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        THEM MONSTERS!

    • Lizzietish81

      Luckily I don’t like Salmon, so I’m ok continuing to shop at ALDI

      AT least I better be cause it’s easier to get to on a bike than the Wegman’s is

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Sen. John Thune thinks we should be prepared to be shot whenever we leave the house and should take precautions.

    • Suttree

      Maybe he should never leave the house again. The world wouldn’t miss him.

    • Bananas Foster

      How about we just be prepared to take shots.

      (Of alcohol.)

  • Major_Major_Major

    The Yellow Rain on my Brain hosted by noted pee enthusiast Todd Starnes, with special guest Donny 2-Scoops

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Camptown Racist Lou Dobbs, Lou Dobbs

    • bluicebank

      Somebody Bet On The Bay, with David Brooks.

  • Nounverb911
  • Three Finger Salute
    • Maclare’s House o’ Crap🏠

      However, it IS the Daily Fail…

      • Three Finger Salute

        Well, there’s that. It could very well be that hooligan Brexiteers were issued a surprise exit poll upon leaving a pub at 2am, and asked if they thought American Nigel was a wanker or not. The ones who didn’t vomit on the pollster got registered as an “aye.”

        • Maclare’s House o’ Crap🏠

          Legitimate Scientific polling method!

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Nozin’ Around! with Charles Krauthammer

  • Johnnymoreno

    “Jesse Watters, Beat Down Bloopers”– Outtakes of when Jesse picks the wrong people to do “ambush journalism” all over on.

    • CripesAmighty

      I’d watch that.

  • bluicebank

    NBC programming execs (if that’s their real name) are so stoopid. All they had to do was to include some White Walkers on Megyn’s show and we’re talking ratings gold. Tag: “All White All The Time.” Rejected tags: “Obsidian Free!” “Come For The Boobage, Leave When No Boobage.” “Where Are The White Wimmenz?”

    • Three Finger Salute

      NBC: Nothing But Caucasians.

      (to the tune of “What Did Della Wear?”)

      What does Andy Lack?
      What does Andy Lack?
      Decency and integrity,
      That’s what Andy Lacks!

  • CripesAmighty

    Adult Video Review with Pat Robertson.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      And Ted Cruz can be his regular go-to guy, reviewing Instagram porn, yes?

      • Three Finger Salute

        “Error 403: You have been blocked by Justin Trudeau on Instagram”

    • Crank Tango

      That’s a lot better than the Adult Video with Pat Robertson Revue.

  • Nounverb911
    • Brian Fowler

      Wow, he even makes Dubya look good in comparison.

      I’m sorry Yankees, but you can’t elect a GoP president ever again. Please, I’m on my knees, begging (which makes typing this real difficult). You can’t.

      Bush II makes Bush I look good, Trump makes Bush II look good… do you really want a President that’ll make you miss Trump?

  • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

    Well, I myself am having a Nice Time Week. Yesterday was Payday, so at Target I got: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1870f5093efad49b39617121ef749bfd129627aa84bf8030e1deae3779701979.jpg

    New Jeans – Size *4* ,Beeyotches! I was Size 8 in May.
    New Blouse – Size L, last year I was buying 2XL
    New Bra -(not shown) 36D.

    Eating right, eating light, no sodas or alcohol, walking 20 miles a week.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Good job! Soda is the Devil’s Brew.

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        Thanx! Yeah, I do not buy sugar soda anymore, and I don’t miss it when I get to go shopping. :)

    • Three Finger Salute

      Good for you, Anna! Keep up the good work!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB2yqeD0Nus

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        Thank you! :D

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      my god, but you’re tall!

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        5’10” Hun, and add my heels here. xD

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Anna, Queen of the Amazons!

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            xD A neighbor lady complemented me the other day, and she also too called me an Amazon.

  • Sean Jungian

    Soooo…what DID they hope to have with Ms. Kelly? A hard-hitting “journalizms” show? A feel-good morning talk show? WHY IN GOD’S NAME IS SHE IN THAT HORRIBLE OUTFIT WITH THE 80s NECK BOW?

    I mean it’s demonstrated that to have a good morning show, you have to have some, oh, y’know, CHARM. Ms. Kelly is as charming as an eel with no sense of humor.

    • Shanzgood

      HAHAHAHA!!

    • BosGrl

      Book that guy for Megyn’s show.

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      Testifying Dude needs some powder, Stat. Gonna blind the cameraman with that Headshine.

      • Major_Major_Major

        As a follicle-ly challenged person, I resemble that remark.

    • Canis Greyhame

      O gods, I needed that! Maybe there is some hope for us yet.

    • LesBontemps

      Needz comically large money bag with dollar sign and/or get-out-of-jail-free card.

  • BearLeft

    Some of My Best Friends Know Colored People, with Jeff Sessions!

  • Ωbjectifier

    Thug Life with Dinesh D’Souza

  • FukuiSanYesOta

    “The influence of romanticism on the industrial revolution with Jesse Watters”

    • Anna Rompage

      “All you need to do is buy them a lobster, and then they’re obligated to sleep with you…” Jesse Watters

    • Three Finger Salute

      The idiot who lost his way…

    • Daniel

      This week, Jesse explores the metaphysics of Blake, and the influence of Caspar David Friedrich on the self-perception of the great industrialists. What can these two giants of the age teach us about the development of the modern world, and to what extent was the search for the sublime echoed in the creation of the tools to tame nature, and the cult of the machine? How did this influence the funny way that Chinese people speak? Join Jesse to learn more.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Next week: Jesse explores the romantic rejection of natural philosophy and science and, citing both Mary Shelley and Fransisco Goya, contemplates the embrace of the sublime grotesque as it pertains to the global warming debate.

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Man, I love you people so much. I’m laughing my ass off over here.

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            Right back at ya : )

        • Daniel

          Polidori- the missing link.

          Within the framework of one of world literature’s most famous friendly contests, which saw the production of both Frankenstein and the first English vampire novel, Jesse seeks to understand how representations of the uncanny and the undead were influenced by- and in turn influenced- the nineteenth century fascination with the subjugation of nature and the overturning of the social order by the rise of the industrialist and the celebration of rebellion in the poetry of Shelley and Byron. Was this a liberation or a new subjugation replacing an old one? Was such a change in any way echoing ancient narratives of the loss of innocence in the search for progress? And really aren’t all Mexican foods the same except for how they’re folded?

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            In a special two-part episode, Jessie will have guests Bill O’Reilly and Gretchen Carlson on to discuss the ever-changing narrative surrounding the Culture of Death and the neo-Medieval revivals of the 18th, 19th and late 20th centuries. Did the birth of gothic irony signal the beginning of the modern mind? Did the embrace of dark camp undermine or confirm the conservatism inherent in gothic culture? If so, should bakers be able to tell gay people that they’re icky?

  • James Baskin

    Judge Napitoliano (or something) – Lawyerin for Dummies.

  • Michael Smith

    Sean Hannity’s Fanfiction Hour: Our host Sean Hannity does his normal interviews in which he makes intensely disgusted faces at everyone his interviewee says except no one is allowed to talk about anything than their imaginary stories about real imaginary stories.

    “Watch Hannity DESTROY College Student With Audacity to Suggest That Harry and Hermione Hook Up Between The Half Blood Prince and The Deathly Hallows”

    • thewendyb

      That I could watch.
      NAWT.

    • marxalot

      Careful, you’ll start a war in these here non-comments, or maybe attract ants.

    • bluicebank

      Not into the books/movies, but that sounds hilarious. Would watch.

  • marxalot

    I feel like there’s for sure a Queer Eye-esque style show waiting to be pitched. Something like 5 Pound Bag or Hanger Shoulder, with literally any of these schlub-suited white dudes. It would get better ratings. And just think of the fun to be had for Sock Week!

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Its bigwig executives are scratching their heads trying to figure out why Megyn Kelly’s new show, “Santa Claus Is White And So Am I,” is going so poorly.

    Maybe they should play the Star Wars Holiday Special every day until they find a replacement?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3a5j8PgQxg

    George Lucas himself disliked the special and reportedly said, “If I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every copy of that show and smash it.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Why, no, Mr. Lucas, I don’t have a French-language dub from Québec state television for novelty purposes! Honest! I don’t have annual MST3K-style viewings of this film at my birthday every year! These aren’t the Betamax tapes you’re looking for!”

      (Trudeau goes and buries his Star Wars tape in a landfill once used for “E.T. for the Atari”)

      “Eh? What’s this Russian-language thing with Donald Trump’s name on it?”

      (tucks it in his coat for… novelty purposes…)

      “Gotcha, hoser…”

  • Major_Major_Major

    Pride and Prejudiced- a “literary review of the collected works of Dinesh D’Souza” and hosted by AOT,K

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      *golf clap*

  • Alan

    Yeah, and the genius who thought faux news would fly on normal tv still has a job?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    The “I Was There and It Was Harrowing!” History Hour with your host, Bullshit O’Really.

  • BearLeft

    Daily Meditations with Alex Jones

    • Daniel

      Deep States of Peace, with Alex Jones.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Empty Thoughts. By Jack Handey Alex Jones.

    • MizzMazz

      This was going around a few months ago. It’s still relevant.
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92i5m3tV5XY

      • Edith Prickly

        This is so me.

        • MizzMazz

          And it really is relaxing!

  • Crystalclear12

    “That could’ve gone better.” With the latest Fox reject.

  • Anna Rompage

    Can’t wait for her to have a figurehead of the BLM on her show and ask, “so what is it with YOU, people. Why are all of you so angry?”

  • Ducksworthy

    Killing Democracy with Bill O’Reilly,

  • Joe Beese

    McGahey had heard of Christian Alcoholics & Addicts in Recovery. People called it “the Chicken Farm,” a rural retreat where defendants stayed for a year, got addiction treatment and learned to live more productive lives. Most were sent there by courts from across Oklahoma and neighboring states, part of the nationwide push to keep nonviolent offenders out of prison. …

    There wasn’t much substance abuse treatment at CAAIR. It was mostly factory work for one of America’s top poultry companies. If McGahey got hurt or worked too slowly, his bosses threatened him with prison.

    And he worked for free. CAAIR pocketed the pay.

    “It was a slave camp,” McGahey said. “I can’t believe the court sent me there.”

    https://www.revealnews.org/article/they-thought-they-were-going-to-rehab-they-ended-up-in-chicken-plants/

    • Three Finger Salute

      This is the same thing they do with gay teens who get sent to those concentration camps like the one Crazy-Eyes Bachman Overdrive’s fake husband owns. IIRC there was a bill to make these illegal throughout the country but it died in committee because the GOP had a fit about religious freedom.

      I hate my country.

  • ariel_gee_398

    The Glass Desk with The Fox Blondes. Taking on all the most important issues to women, like “Can we have it all? Fuck no, why even try?”, “Quinoa 12 Ways” and “Which Brand of Yoga Pants Fit Your Astrological Sign”. The Glass Desk: Why shatter the glass ceiling when you could show off your gams behind a glass desk?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      or under…

  • Daniel

    Good For What Ailes Ya– featuring all the legs you know and a few more you might not.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “Bosom Buddies” with Maria Bartiromo.

  • bluicebank

    “Skeletors In The Closet,” hosted by Ann Coulter and Michael Chertoff.

  • marxalot

    Do you think anyone would notice if I just skived off early? I feel like I need sleep and mental respite from the crushing realities of life.
    Also, since this is our Open Tread, a year ago yesterday Operation Real Boi entered Phase Two. I am currently working on Phase Three. Is “tranniversary” in bad taste, even for me?

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      ~hugs~ No, it’s all good. :)

    • rosenbomb

      YAY!

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      I am going to weigh in on tranniversary even though I am not trans. I hope that’s okay? Anyway, I thinks it’s fantastic! It’s funny and self deprecating, yet informative. I hope it becomes a thing, and not just so I’ll get invited to more parties.

      • marxalot

        I will use just about anything, even 52 weeks of jabbing myself with a needle, as an excuse for a party.

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          FUCK! After fifty two weeks of needles the LEAST you deserve is a party.

  • Nounverb911
  • memzilla Ω

    BREAKING: Mueller Takes Over Steele Dossier from FBI
    https://twitter.com/Reuters/status/915683418926657536

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      Oh, SNAP!

    • Joe Beese

      WHOA IF TRUE!

    • LesBontemps

      Pee pee tape at 11?

    • OutOfOrbit

      oh boy more loose threads to follow! whoof whoof!

    • bluicebank

      “What a pisser.” — Airplane!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEXLCOqapWk

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Leave It To Gretchen’s Beaver

    • OutOfOrbit

      Personal Foul! — unnecessary grossness

  • Mavenmaven

    They should just put her in a scripted half hour sitcom and cut their losses. Remake of Three’s Company?

    • Anna Rompage

      No script, I’d rather watch her try to improve

    • Nounverb911

      With Kelly, Hannity and O’Reilly?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        O’Reilly is down at the Regal Beagle, waiting to drop roofies in Chrissy’s drink.

    • Suttree

      Chrissy libelz! Janet was hotter anyway.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Maybe Jesse Watters can do a culturally sensitive, in-depth show focusing on the experiences of recent immigrants to this country.

  • my feet are normal

    Honestly tho, I would watch the hell out of a show called “Fuck It, We’ll Cook It Live!” (not with O’Reilly in it, of course).

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Harold Dieterle? I would definitely watch that.

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      Bourdain?

    • bluicebank

      Only if it’s Cajun, tho.

      • my feet are normal

        God yes, also everyone on the show has to be Cajun, that seems obvious in hindsight.

        • bluicebank

          And Zydeco music throughout. I think we have a winner here.

    • Maclare’s House o’ Crap🏠

      Maybe some
      “Fuck, That’s Delicious with Action Bronson”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEWh_6FJMh4&list=PLnPDn1Lb79JGoFey4EPwAvxW4tbyzbz0p&index=3

  • LesBontemps

    Erick Erickson might not be fucking that goat, but he’s fucking some goat. Because he is a well-known goat-fucker.

  • Bill D. Burger

    [NBC offered Kelly more than $15 million per year, meaning she now earns more than Good Morning America’s established stars, Robin Roberts and George Stephanopoulos.]

    Wonder who the programming genius is behind the “Megyn Kelly Turd” ?
    Guess he’s in for a raise, huh?

  • geoffalnutt

    Are a Republican breasts fundamentally the same as a Demrat’s…or is there a mystifying and startling difference?

    • mancityRed6

      it’s more that Democrats are more likely to see them on a regular basis.

    • bluicebank

      The former are blurry because you’re drunk. The latter are in focus.

  • Nounverb911

    Not shown, trail of paper towels left by trump.

    https://twitter.com/colincampbell/status/915681718908194817

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Someone was poised and ready for that shot…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Um, AP, what’s going on over there? And are canned clams involved?
    https://twitter.com/APBusiness/status/915654091946283014

    • Shanzgood

      Wot?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Yeah, that’s got to be one of the more mystifying headlines I’ve seen. Except for maybe the Infowars ones.

    • mancityRed6

      damned communist salmon. shoulda known by how red it was

    • Canis Greyhame

      2 for 1 news bundles are quite a bargain.

    • Anna Rompage

      Kind of like Ollie North selling guns to Iran to fund the Sandinistas…

  • Daniel

    “Build Off Success Of Megyn Kelly’s Fresh Hot Turd”

    So they kept Fox’s glass table then?

  • Canis Greyhame

    The hothouse shit-flowers from Fox can’t really survive out in the wilds of mainstream TV. Too bad, it would be such a magical moment watching Bill O’Reilly trying to cook a loofah on some cheery NBC morning show.

    Get on it, Andrew Lack!

  • Joe Beese
    • Nounverb911

      If only.

      • Joe Beese

        Tillerson can hold another press conference tonight to deny it.

      • Canis Greyhame

        Don’t you trust every word that comes spilling out from the Washington Examiner? I am for shocked.

    • Canis Greyhame

      What? Does this involve cyanide pills?

    • Bananas Foster

      How about a murder pact instead?

      With, you know, votes…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Because those 3 think of themselves as the adults saving America from Donald Trump?

      • Bananas Foster

        How the fuck did Mnuchin get to be the third Musketeer?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Betsy doesn’t have a dick, allegedly.

          • Reximus

            unproven

    • bluicebank

      Don’t tease us.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Hooray!

      With votes or whatever.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Hah, go fer it, fellas!

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      Mattis: “Gawdammit, I conquered half of Iraq, became a Legend, and now I’m Babysitting his Orange Anal Cyst. The history books about me are going to suck Bowling Balls thru a laundry hose.”

  • KnaveOfSwords
    • Joe Beese

      My two whippets killed a fox today.

      I feel terrible.

      • OutOfOrbit

        xxx

      • Yellerduck

        They’ve been bred for centuries to do just that. No small animal survives a Greyhound, not even the littler varieties.

      • marxalot

        Genetic imperitive, man. Our weirdo cuddly fun buddies were also bred to run like hell after furry things and rip them to pieces. The world is vast and strange.

    • Nounverb911
      • Beanz&Berryz

        Amazing… In just 20 years of wolves in Yellowstone…

      • Krombopulous Pichael

        this is fascinating and awesome! thanks for sharing!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Beaver dams are a real key to rich biodiversity. They transformed the land around Chernobyl since the area was abandoned by humans.

      • Christopher Story

        These kinds of victories are what remind me that there’s so much worth fighting for.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          One of the biggest things worth fighting for. Other horrendous decisions can hopefully be overturned and mitigated. Once our public lands are gone-our national birthright-they are gone forever.

      • eyelashviper

        Just beautiful, thank you.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Big deal. I could find you dozens of Idahoans and Montanans who know a guy who knows a guy whose cousin’s girlfriend’s barber would swear that wolves killed his horse, chased his womenfolk, and raped his bibles.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Good puppers!

      • Meccalopolis

        I want wolves back in the Catskills

  • bluicebank

    “Small Animals & Little Girls,” hosted by Ted Nugent.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    God, I love my congress critter for getting to the point:

    https://twitter.com/RepAdamSchiff/status/915375336661057536

  • Reximus
  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    This week on Naked and Afraid…

    • eyelashviper

      Eeeeewww, my eyes, my brain, all damaged now…
      Limbaugh is enough to make the planet puke.

  • 52camellias

    How has the news started resembling theonion.com so frequently? Maybe it’s time to take action. Like, is there any way to stay drunk? You know, permanently? All suggestions welcome.

    • Bananas Foster

      I’d suggest benzos, but apparently they lead to mass murder.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      My great-uncle nursed rye and sevens from 10 am until bedtime. Each drink lasted 2 h or so so he just maintained a slight buzz.

  • coozledad

    “You don’t know dick!” with your host Eric Bolling.

  • Three Finger Salute

    …and this is why 1) identity theft is a major concern (fuck you, Equifax); 2) 4chan is cancer, and 3) jumping to conclusions is bad, mkay.

    Canadan man with same name as Las Vegas shooter gets doxed on 4chan and subjected to vicious online abuse

    ‘Course, /pol/ will still think they’re right, as even though it was the wrong Stephen Paddock, at least they got to take the piss out of a despised Cancuckstani 4 teh lulz.

    Internet.exe has stopped working. Abort, retry? No, just fail.

  • Indiepalin

    Megyn Kelly seems like a natural for next season’s American Horror Story: Everybody Hates Me

    • eyelashviper

      She and Tucker Carlson could team up…the final scene where they eat one another’s faces off will be cool.

  • Baconzgood
  • RangerJay

    Laura Ingraham is known to cause irreparable shrinkage.

    • Canis Greyhame

      I actually watched a few minutes of her show once. As expected, it was just a pile of poorly-packaged right wing resentment and dull sarcasm.

  • rosenbomb

    Scared Straight: Milwaukee Edition with Sheriff David Clarke.

    Now with more jail murder.

    • Three Finger Salute

      He really doesn’t need all those stinkin’ badges.

    • OutOfOrbit

      a good prosecuter could make manslaughter stick, prolly even negligent homicide

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Scared Stiff, or Corpses in Cuffs.

      • rosenbomb

        Scared Stiff! That got me.

  • mailman27

    She should apologize to America for those ratings.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    My OT contribution for this evening:

    “Cat Plotting Death of Human”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/71a35b440b05637972b6996ee8f619a6589656947f18094b53dbb1dbd6e52016.jpg

  • Mary Theresa

    Casting aspersions on my asparagus, hosted by Louie Gohmert.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Got a fun op-ed for us, WaPo’s Jennifer Rubin?

    Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump must go

    The continued presence of Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump in the West Wing constitutes both a legal liability and a political embarrassment for President Trump. The couple have not a single identifiable accomplishment in office between the two of them. Ivanka Trump, however, has been on defense, whining about unfair expectations and trying to wiggle out of responsibility for failing to influence her father. Kushner wound up at odds with the State Department and was there to cheer on disastrous personnel decisions (e.g. hiring Paul Manafort during the campaign, firing former FBI director James B. Comey)…

    The good news for the administration is that the situation can be remedied — by sending Ivanka Trump and Kushner home, where she need not fret about failing to live up to expectations and he can attend to his financial troubles and marshal his legal defenses.

    Hee hee hee…

    • Joe Beese

      If the last 8 months have shown anything, it’s that Trump is beyond embarrassment.

      Have Ivanka take items out of the Smithsonian to furnish her apartment. Won’t make the slightest bit of difference.

      • Suttree

        She would probably take a mummy to snort.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Old stuff? Why would she wants somebody’s retreads?

    • The entire administration has to go.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Home? I think they can still be useful as co-ambassadors to Saudi Arabia. Or Syria.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Right, Jen. He’s going to get rid of the girl of his dreams and the son he never had.

    • bluicebank

      My parting words for Ivanka and Jared would be:

      Remember, wherever you go, there you are.

      (Thank you, “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai”)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv_jkju_iZg

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        I love Buckaroo and just rewatched the movie last month. My favorite part is the end credits, where the cast and costumes are highlighted. Very ’80s.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah6TYuJ1iQg

        • bluicebank

          True story:

          In the 1990s I was a copy editor at the daily in Palm Springs, and our chief editor (forgot his title) was pissed about the success of “Jurassic Park.” (fyi the copy desk is where we poured over stories from the city desk for typos and crap writing, then came up with a headline on them according to column width blah blah.)

          So Tom Bray challenges us: “Name me one good movie that Jeff Goldblum has ever appeared in. Just one.”

          Silence. Until I said, “The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai.”

          “Goddamn you, Butler!”

          I think I got a free drink for that one.

  • Indiepalin

    Megyn Kelly rides into a bar on a horse. The bartender says, “Why the long face?”

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Kelly replies: “I just had to have Anne Coulter put down. Torsion of the bowel.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Jukesgrrl

      I contributed through the Hispanic Federation’s Unidos charity. It’s what the City of New York is using and distribution of the money is supposedly being supervised by the governor’s wife.

      • Ms.Moon

        I have been donating through Episcopal Charities since they were doing outreach on the island since Irma hit.

  • BadKitty904

    Who?

    • OutOfOrbit

      Guess Who

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Third Base!

        • OutOfOrbit

          no, Who’s on second base

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Dear NBC: If people wanna see no talent blond hacks yammer, they got younger ones on Fox.
    That is the problem.
    You are welcome, please send me 16 million ameros for fixing your 17 million amero mistake.
    Love, Jen

    • Joe Beese

      Every morning she wakes up haunted by the knowledge that she’s become just that tiny bit less employable.

      • Here is the thing I do not get about the Fox-ettes; they know the minute they crest 40 or so, they will get less and less air time and finally be utterly not hired no mo by Fox. It is obvious their “value” is how nice their legs look under that glass table.
        Why do they keep acting so surprised by this?

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Because they are…

      • OutOfOrbit

        then laffs all the way to the bank

    • Blackest Noobs

      oh come on Jen, give Megs a break, she used to worky nighty night time…this whole middle of the morning time working isn’t exactly her cup of tea or coffee or whatever.

      all i really know is she bleeds from somewhere…well Trump told me so.

      • clubseal

        But he probably doesn’t actually know where. He strikes me as a premature ejaculator who blows his “chances” the second a woman even considers his come on, in the form of “I’m the richest man in America.”

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Can they make The Human Centipede a limited TV series?

    ‘Cause that would get wicked high ratings.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    Law & Order: Somewhat Unpleasant Blonde.

    • Crank Tango

      Perpetual victims unit!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        You win the internets today.

      • bluicebank

        What House said. NBC, hire this person right fucking now.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Bingo!

        The irony is that although as a Foxette, she was never victimized by the people she complained about on-camera (black Santa Clauses, for instance) she was victimized by filthy lump Roger Ailes, Rupert Murdoch, multiple Fox execs and, very publicly by Donald Trump.

        And yet I still don’t like her very much and wouldn’t push a button to watch her show for even a second.

        NBC paid $17 million for a “star” who nobody gives one solitary fuck about.

  • Crank Tango

    Crying about shit, with Glenn Beck and John Boehner, must-see TV this thursday.

  • MizzMazz

    The papertowel thing really pissed me off. It was/is an act made of pure disrespect.
    “Here, have some fucking papertowels.”
    “Have a good time.”
    Right when I couldn’t get more disgusted, another river of bile flows up my throat. This is the kind of shit that we can’t let people forget.

    • OutOfOrbit

      could’a been worse, he could’a been chuckin rolls of T.P.

      • MizzMazz

        “They’ll wipe with this stuff, and they’ll like it!”

    • Canis Greyhame

      Well to be fair, he is a fucking moron.

      • MizzMazz

        That is a given, but doesn’t he have people to make sure he doesn’t misbehave in public? Unless of course, they just let him do his own thing and dig his own grave. Can’t be fast enough.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Even my mom sent out a group text to all of us about that one. The fucking paper towels, like take this and clean up your mess. Motherfucker has the worst tone and the worst optics.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    God, I hope this report is accurate:

    https://twitter.com/AdamsFlaFan/status/915691475748433921

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      Will they take Donnie with them?

    • Shibusa

      Tillerson is a dead man walking. (I applaud him for calling Trump a moron.)

    • THEY ARE ALL AGIN YOU DONNIE!!!!!!
      Just thought you should know

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I wouldn’t count on it. Looks more like the “adults in the room” narrative is circling the drain, and this is one last stab at making it stick.

      • lol after Trump said he had the utmost confidence today, Maybe Rexxy leaked this to look all gotz allies?

    • Blackest Noobs

      um, fake news….isn’t that what you’re suppose to say…..fake news…fake news.

    • eyelashviper

      Never Mnuchin…he is a toady til the end.

      • And he prolly hates Rexxy who was actually successful with accolades and Mattis who was actually successful with medals and honors.

      • CripesAmighty

        He’ll bail the nanosecond he gets his Tax Cuts for the Rich.

    • BadKitty904

      Can they tale Beau Secessions with them?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      A suicide pact? Or a tontine?

  • Alexander Stallwitz
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I’m not surprised at any of this. I expected the whole stock market to take a hit in October and planned accordingly.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        I am shocked it took this long for him to finally caused lasting economy harn.

  • Thiazin Red

    But it was different because van Susteren isn’t pretty. They thought it would work with someone pretty.

    • Iam Reading

      It would have worked perfectly if all of that ugly behind those soulless eyes hadn’t been clawing its way out on screen

    • Alan

      Pretty don’t fix stupid. At least not for any longer than a drunken evening.

  • bluicebank

    “Yes, Virginia, You Are A Racist” with Megyn Kelly.

    (Obligatory link to notorious Spy Magazine link (via some old post, wish I never threw out that issue):

    http://www.toddneff.com/articles/LaughTear/SantaPhysics.html

    Read it and … I laughed, I cried.

  • Three Finger Salute

    How about The Art of the Pick-Up Fail starring Donald J. Trump?

    “I’m America’s richest man!” Brooke Shields reveals awful pick-up line Donald Trump used when he cold-called her to ask the actress on a date

    You know what I’d watch? A prime-time special of all the women Donald has lied about, creeped on, or otherwise harassed and bothered, administering various (ahem) “Get Out the Vote” tactics to him for all the trouble he’s caused them over the years. Also too, their families and loved ones. What I wouldn’t give to see Princes Harry and William be the first-ever British Royals to cast votes upon an American president for his treatment of their mother. Great ratings, I tell you. It’d get really incredible, very big ratings.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Sure, richest. Also with the most biglyest hands!

    • Joe Beese

      Brooke has dated weirder guys than Trump.

      Just sayin’.

      • I do not think there is anything weirder than rapes 13 year olds and wives and hires pee hookers to pee in a bed Obama slept in.
        Allegedly.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        But uglier?

      • mancityRed6

        so you’re saying I have a chance?

      • Three Finger Salute

        This is a habit with him. The worst kind of celebrity stalker: a celebrity who stalks other celebrities because he believes it’ll be good for his “celebrity.”

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EamR6hOCAsw

        • Joe Beese

          That Salma Hayek has some large breasts.

    • Thiazin Red

      I know its their job, but the royals should be able to pass on letting Trump visit after the gross things he said about Diana.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Remember that guy? Whatsizname? Cosby, that’s it. Cosby! He’s like a creepy version of Bill Cosby. OK, creepier.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Without Cosby’s disarming warmth…

        • Three Finger Salute

          Yeah, but dizzop zitty zitty bop is about as coherent as covfefe.

    • Iam Reading

      Ratings gold. One unintended consequence would be at that all of the MRAs out there would assume it is a how-to guide.

      • Three Finger Salute

        A reverse version of The Apprentice where every single one of these women tells him “You’re Fired,” and then Hillary makes a surprise appearance as the “Queen Behind the Curtain” to push the red Easy Button that sends him waaaaaaaaaay down the elevator into the “boiler room.” Salma Hayek would then say, “Enjoy your trip south of the border!”

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        VH1 already gave this asshat a show. It was H I L A R I O U S.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS3qmV_OMDE

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Let’s Make A Deal with Bob Mueller.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      I’d watch that just to see what is behind the curtains for Paul Manafort.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Oh, Zinke you naughty boy. Two separate ethics probes for the same thing?

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/915693248001212416

    • DrBigHead

      Only the best and brightest can pull off stuff like this. Your average grifter would only be able to pull off a single investigation per act.

    • Zinke is hinky?

    • BadKitty904

      Republican criminality is exceeded only by Republican stupidity.

  • Serai 1
  • ariel_gee_398

    Judge Rudy – Napolitano and Guiliani engage in a gameshow to see who can make a panelists of “average Americans” the most fearful of Muslims and assorted brown people.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Nah. She just needs the right cohost, with the right catchphrase.

    https://media.makeameme.org/created/Shut-up-Meg-worlzq.jpg

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    The Morans Court, with the Rapey One.

    • Candy Matson Y-28209

      Can you be more specific?

  • JoeChristmas

    Pooping from her whatever.

  • BadKitty904

    Is it possible that Megyn’s “career” at Fox “News” wasn’t actually based on having any discernible talent?

    • mancityRed6

      are any of them?

      • BadKitty904

        No. No, they’re not.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      If “talents” means “legs” then she was an amazing journalist.

    • Crank Tango

      Besides gargling hamburger meat?

      Too soon?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Well done, I’d say.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      We’d have to ask the ghost of Roger Ailes’ crotch.

  • I got it! NBC Can hire Tamera back and put her with MegMEg and call the show Ebony and Megyn; Separate but equal!
    Surely that is not too tone deaf for NBC.

  • TundraGrifter

    “‘Listicles’ – for people who lack the attention span to make it through a Power Point Presentation.”

  • Antonin Dvorak

    Today in Science: Study shows tears could create electricity.

    The enzyme, called lysozyme, is also found in saliva and mammalian milk, according to the study, which was published Oct. 2 in the Journal of Applied Physics. The enzyme is anti-bacterial; it attacks the cell walls of bacteria, weakening them.

    When lysozyme is in a crystalized form, it also appears to have a property called piezoelectricity, meaning the enzyme can convert mechanical energy (when pressure is applied to it) into electrical energy, the researchers wrote.

    https://www.livescience.com/60599-electricity-generated-from-tears.html?utm_source=notification

    • tears, spit…and booby milk can run our power problem?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        All it takes is a couple of boobies to get my motor going.

    • Bananas Foster

      Mammalian milk as opposed to non mammalian milk?

      WTF? I caught that immediately. I’m not a scientist.

      • Thiazin Red

        I would guess as opposed to fake crud like almond “milk” or soy “milk”.

        • clubseal

          Vegans shed a single piezoelectric tear.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Iam Reading

    Crash and burn Megyn with a Y. Crash and burn.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “It’s a -1 point landing……essentially.”

    • Bad Scooter

      maybe they’ll rename her show “Crash and Burn with Megyn with a Y”
      !

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • clubseal

      Sorry, Daniel Dale, but we’ve been defined by our evil for a long damn time. In fact, isn’t that in the Bible? Something about all being sinners or some shit?

    • Thiazin Red

      We could explain why these things happen, and do something about it, but instead we tell children meaningless bullshit.

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      You know, Donald, you Motherfucker you, “Evil” is a trite word, especially for Glib assholes like you. Cos this ain’t Lord of the Rings, Hun. We live in a nation where any idiot can buy military-grade firearms, and and idiot with hate issues can be a Killing Machine.

      “Evil” – that’s metaphysical Bullshit, implying a Cosmic balance that cannot be altered. It’s offensive to me, but then Cowardice of all sorts is mortally offensive to me as a woman and a human being.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        ^^^THIS

        • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

          :)

    • Canis Greyhame

      Take away his teleprompter and let’s hear what he really has to say.

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      From the man who gave us American Carnage. (Which would be an awesome show featuring ex-Fox personnel.)

  • Crank Tango

    The David Dukes of Hazard, the real Boys in the Hood.

  • I keep hearing my work phone ding in my purse. I’m thinking i should go grt it so i can turn it off

    • Toss it in a closet just to be sure

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Freezer worked for this GD smoke detector I once had!

    • mancityRed6

      there’s nothing worse than forgetting your cell phone and then having phantom vibrations all day.

    • Alan

      Hammer.

    • BadKitty904

      If anyone would know, it’d be a fake “President”.

    • Joe Beese

      You’re fake news… and you’re fake news… You’re all fake news!

  • Lance Thrustwell

    “Reason and Compassion” With Tammy Bruce
    “America’s Most Vicious Home Videos” hosted by Dana Loesch

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Wrong . . . He’s White, Too with Megyn Kelly.

  • Tom65

    “Cheerleading Workout” with Michele Malkin

    https://youtu.be/tt_YcQlYxyY

    • mancityRed6

      well, it’d would draw some viewers from Fox.

    • JCfromNC

      Damn it, I thought when TBogg stopped posting this I was done seeing that video. Now it’s infected Wonkette?

  • Panika MCD

    WHICH COLOR*?:

    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0728F2WJL/ref=twister_B073TV21NQ?_encoding=UTF8&th=1

    these are the ones in my price range. don’t go off the page. I’m getting these. I just need to pick a color.

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      I like the Red. :)

    • marxalot

      Red pops, but white is a total power move.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      This is not dog related. Post confusing!

      • Panika MCD

        JJP chewed the ones I had up so I need new ones. so it is *a bit* dog related.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Electric Blue!

    • mancityRed6

      blue is good for me, but you know, whatever.

    • Alan

      Black. Everything should be black.

      • Panika MCD

        everything is black. so we need some variety.

        • Alan

          My variety is a shirt with color, often grey. Everything else is black.

          • Panika MCD

            well thanks, Murky&Lurky!

          • Alan

            At least I’m predictable. Black pants, black shoes, black coat with black scarf and gloves, black car, black bicycle, black phone, iPad, and computer. Yes, black headphones. My wife wouldn’t allow black furniture in the bedroom. Oh well.

          • Panika MCD

            I am not a fan of being predictable.

          • Alan

            Maybe black isn’t your color.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s a lack of color. but my cat, Cary Cary, is black.

          • The Alan in Black

    • Black goes with everything, true blue for Dem, Red is more power hungry but white is very purity signaling.
      Hope that helps!
      *runs and hides*

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        xD

      • mancityRed6

        white would be the last thing I’d choose.
        *looks at the white laptop*
        the last thing.

      • Panika MCD

        most of my stuff is blue, but it is not a blue that goes with anything I have. the ones JJP chewed up on Monday were white, but they were taken from Prima Momma as she never used them (they were also nicer than I can afford). black seems too basic…? IDK.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          You can pull off the red…

    • Beanz&Berryz

      For the inner you… Red for flash and sass, white for tech hip, black for straight-laced…

      • Panika MCD

        I am not tech hip or straight laced.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Red for sure… the blue is more likely to mis-match…

    • Maclare’s House o’ Crap🏠

      Blue. You’ll be able to spot it across the room when you forget where you left it.

    • Cat Cafe

      White. Very sleek and futuristic. Are these supposed to be super good? I MAY HAVE TO GET THEM TOO and then we will be TWINZ

      • Panika MCD

        they’re 4.5 stars. whatever that means. and they are in my price range.

        • Cat Cafe

          That price is pretty appealing I must say.

          • Panika MCD

            I went with red.

          • Cat Cafe

            Superb!

    • Arolpin

      Blue. White is too Apple, Black is too emo, Red is too Drumpf. Blue it is.

      • Panika MCD

        I got red. it’s not GOP red and the blue doesn’t go with all of the other blue things I have.

  • mancityRed6

    how about we fill the time slot with the self flagellation of anyone who was involved in green lighting this show?
    disclaimer: I have not seen it and do not care to.

    • Caught 5 minutes. It. Is. Terrible.
      And ALL of that terribleness is for sure MegMegs insufferable I am the queen of white smugness. All of it.

      • mancityRed6

        that came across the few clips of her Fox show I saw.
        the Lord’s Resistance Army? it’s the boy scouts, basically.

  • Wheel of Torture hosted by any Republican not John McCain!
    *all props to UHF and the weird Al*

    • Crank Tango

      Who gets to drink from the firehose?

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Got two tickets to see Blade Runner 2049 tomorrow night. Excited!

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      “There’s nothing worse than an itch you can never scratch.”

      • MizzMazz

        “Why would I be out in the desert?”
        “Maybe you’re fed up.”

        (from memory, but I always liked that explanation)

        • Joe Beese

          “Why are you at the depot?”

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q24mfUn9HFU

        • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

          xD

          Did you know that the chess move Roy uses to defeat Terrell is from a real Grandmaster Game? It’s called “The Immortal Game”.

          There are so many subtleties to Blade Runner, part of why I never tier of it.

          • Joe Beese

            At the risk of being That Guy, it makes no sense at all that super-genius Tyrell – whose chess playing ability Sebastian has already gushed over – asks “What are you up to?” when Roy’s move produces mate in one.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            https://www.quora.com/Why-cant-Tyrell-see-checkmate-in-the-film-Blade-Runner

            “The use of this particular game in the film is a bit anachronistic because the style of play which favors rapid attacks, gambits, and early development is slightly outdated (especially for the 2019!) and is very much a product of the late 19th century. However I think that given the unusual tactics the replicant was using against Tyrell, it is safe to assume the win is realistic. Another factor to consider is that Tyrell was simply unaware that he was not playing Sebastien, thus letting his guard down. “

          • Joe Beese

            That’s a stretch.

            Even low-level players surprised by a Queen sacrifice like that will stop and think “What can they do if I capture?” And the first thing they’ll look for is “Can I be put in check?”

            There are only three possible checks for White at that point: two of which immediately lose a piece and one which delivers the mate.

            Even assuming that Tyrell, lulled into complacency (and, in fairness, disturbed in the middle of the night!), overlooked the third, it would only take him only two seconds to see he was mated. He might say “Brilliant move!” or “The Immortal Game!” or “Fuck me!” But I can’t see him saying “Let’s discuss this” – as if it were a complicated position to analyze.

          • Joe Beese

            Of course, what no one knew in 1982 was that: A) In 2019, you wouldn’t need to show up at someone’s apartment to communicate a move, and B) the world’s greatest living player could be easily defeated by a mobile phone.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            I guess “let’s discuss this” comes across to me like “Fuck Me”, he’s such a cold fish.

          • Joe Beese

            That’s possible. “Got a brainstorm, eh, Sebastian?” is a real dick line.

          • Joe Beese

            Also, it explains why he doesn’t try to summon help when the renegade replicant on a murder spree sneaks his way into the apartment. Tyrell would know he has no chance of escaping except smooth talk. (Not that that works either, obviously.)

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Yeah. All along, Tyrell is cold, he’s proud of his creation, but sees no value in them but his own achievements. I think it fits the character.

          • Joe Beese

            That’s where you get into the phildickery of it all.

            From Tyrell’s point of view, Roy’s desire to live or love for Pris are simply byproducts of the brain he designed for him – with nothing inherently noble about them. And to argue otherwise takes us into a philosophically ambiguous area.

          • MizzMazz

            Oh, and the Final Cut is on sale at Amazon today, for seven bucks. I will have to pay closer attention to the chess game. You’re right, the movie is packed with a lot of symbolism.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Nice! I got my DVD for $5 at Family Dollar in February.

            “Too bad she won’t live! But then again, who does?”

          • MizzMazz

            Sweet! Who doesn’t love a good bargain. It’ is indeed a movie that will go down in history. The new one? I don’t know…think I’ll wait on that.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Ima need to hear a *lot* of good word-of-mouth on it.

          • MizzMazz

            Yeah, me too. Some things should just be left alone.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            It’s not a remake so I feel safer, and I haven’t seen a movie in the theater since Wonder Woman.
            BF and I are making it a “date night”. I bought the tickets. He buys dinner.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Nice.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Ohhhh, it’s one that I don’t own.
            https://media3.giphy.com/media/Rb6unv0ddpPCo/200_s.gif

    • Joe Beese

      I am carefully keeping my expectations low.

      That they hired uber-hack Hans Zimmer to do the score is a very bad sign.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Hans Zimmer? That’s an automatic thanks but no thanks for me.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          I looked at his resume and I guess I just tune out his music. Cuz I’ve seen a lot of those movies and I don’t remember the scores specifically. And I so pay attention and buy soundtracks.

        • Joe Beese

          I literally had to restrain myself from booing when his name appeared in the end credits of Dunkirk.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Yep, just checked IMDB and it is Hans Zimmer and some other guy.
        http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1856101/fullcredits?ref_=tt_ov_wr#writers

        • Joe Beese

          Part of Zimmer’s loathsomeness is that he cultivates a group of lackeys to work in his “style”. Then they do the work while he gets top billing. Like James Patterson.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            I didn’t know that he had been a member of The Buggles, a one hit wonder.

    • Thiazin Red

      I’m still confused as to whether they’ve retconed Deckard being a replicant.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      We’re going to the late show Saturday night.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Selfie Stix and Candid Pix, with host Eric Bolling

  • Conde Nast Super-Excited To Launch New Publication For All The Gaymosexuals, Called “Them”.

    Presumably, there was another publication for some other minority called, “You Know, THOSE People” already being published, so they went with the next best thing.

    No word on how many giant ants will be featured in the magazine, but they are pretty sure that this is the Best Idea Ever and they are the ones to do it.

    Says editor Philip Picardi, “Wouldn’t it be incredible if Condé Nast were the first publisher to really step up to the plate and want to be the ones who were telling those stories in an authentic and personal way?”

    Mmmmmm. Could be. Let me know when you give it a try, ’cause I ain’t buying this.

    • marxalot

      Has Philip heard of literally any of the queermo rags that have been owned, run, and staffed by queermos and done this work in the past 50 years?

      • My guess is no.

        The article does feature a quote from Anna Wintour (of our discontent) which acknowledges that there are other gay publications, but, like, why would anyone want to read any of those now that Conde Nast is publishing one? Peasants.

        (Might not be an actual quote.)

        • Three Finger Salute

          Condescending and Nasty owns Reddit.

          Food for thought.

          • I did not know that. And that explains so much. . .

          • Bitter Scribe

            They also own the New Yorker and Vanity Fair. Food for more thought.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      “Them?!” “Them?!!. Hasn’t the past fifty years of gay rights struggle been about the fact that “they” are, in fact, part of US??

      • I am genuinely curious as to why they went with this particular title. Launching a magazine isn’t cheap, so they aren’t going to go with the first stupid idea they pulled out of their asses. But it REALLY sounds like they went with the first stupid idea they pulled out of their asses and they are pretty sure it is worth throwing millions at.

    • Candy Matson Y-28209

      I’d totally subscribe to a periodical about giant ants.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m pretty sure there was a horror movie named ‘Them’ but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t about gaymosexxhorss

    • Three Finger Salute

      Fun fact: “Condé Nast” is a trendy fashionista way of saying Condescending and Nasty.

    • Kooolest G

      it’s an acronym, Totally Homo Erotic Magazine

  • Bad Scooter

    “Trucker Speed Makeovers” with Alex Jones

  • Lance Thrustwell

    “Smirk, Bitch, Smirk!” With your host, Milo Yiannopoulis.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • mancityRed6

      from a cannon?

    • bubbuhh

      He should be prosecuted.

      • h4rr4r

        Persecuted, the word you wanted was persecuted.

    • Baconzgood

      She is sooooooo dreamy. Like seriously, how strong is her marriage? Do I have any shot?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That was a not little anymore Miss Bz&Bz Halloween costume a couple years ago…

  • Picabo

    Here we go again. I have my bottled water and food supplies left over from Irma that I didn’t need. Pro tip, “H” means a Category 1 or 2 and “M” is Category 3-5. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/56ecf20f53dd28933cd87f62b24cc0d33ae688445f620a2d67958600f22db7c0.png

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Again!?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Aw, hell.

    • mancityRed6

      so maybe Alabama gets to play this time? can we say it’s because Moore won the primary?

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Panika MCD

        it’s hurricane season.

    • Crank Tango

      It’ll never be as good a disaster as my ex, Katrina was.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      The local news was just downplaying it.

  • JMP

    It’s still the same network that thought putting Jay Leno on every night at 10 was a good idea, and then responded to the ratings disaster that caused by firing Conan O’Brien and giving Jay his job.

    • Cat Cafe

      It’s the same network that thought Jay was better than Dave to begin with

    • Three Finger Salute

      Carson called it.

      “NBC stands for Nothing But Crap.”

  • bubbuhh

    Bop-BopBopz!!!

    Anonymous derpy white men spend 3-10 minutes firing pseudo-automatic weapons on unsuspecting crowds of people in various public kill zones from Times Square to Los Olas, followed by 50 minutes of replays voiced over by various pink skinned sounding NRA Spox whoors who gunsplain the good news of gun violence with plugz for the health giving effects of making sure onez kidz use GunCondomz, the silencerz of the Trump Org on their own shooty outingz.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      That was random. Did you have a bad dream?

      • bubbuhh

        ripped straight from todayz WH Talking Pointz

  • Bitter Scribe

    To any Olds like me out there: Remember those “generic foods” with green-and-black, cargo-font packaging that had no product names at all, just descriptions of what was inside? Well, everything old is new again.

    • Joe Beese
      • Crank Tango

        Ordinary fucking people.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Thanks, that’s all the excuse I need:

        https://youtu.be/s_dYDwCdz_U

      • MizzMazz

        “He’s talking to you, man!”

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Let’s play the whole scene!
        https://youtu.be/d9k09WPpNeo

        • Joe Beese

          Now to get sushi and not pay.

    • Brandless(TM) hahahaha

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Ours were white label, black lettering. For beer, in college, we called it beer beer.

    • PixieThis

      We had the bright yellow shame boxes where I’m from (or shopping at Lucky’s). MACARONI & CHEESE. And no, powdered milk is NOT as good as regular milk!

      • Arolpin

        And powdered milk is MORE EXPENSIVE than real milk. I remember being shocked at that, and wondering why ANYONE would use powdered milk. (We did use it to make our own hot cocoa mix as a kid. Even if you’re not Mormon, you pick up some strange Mormon habits if you’re around a lot of Mormons, but NOT Jello salads.)
        My parents still have and use their ‘Make A Mix Cookery’ cookbook.

        https://www.amazon.com/Make-Mix-Cookery-Make-Mixes/dp/0895860074

        • PixieThis

          I remember my mom buying the powdered milk and us hating it so much she just started hiding cash in the box for rent and things. It used to be cheaper than milk in the 1970’s I think.

    • Crank Tango
  • Bananas Foster

    I’ve always wanted a blouse the exact color of Pepto.

    Wait, I’ve never wanted that…

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I stopped wearing the “pussy bow” back in the 1980’s. Conservative women keep trying to bring it back, but no. Stop trying to make “pussy bow” happen.

      • Bananas Foster

        Do pussy bows and kitten heels cancel each other out?

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          No. Kitten heels serve a purpose to sexify flat shoes.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I don’t even want to look up the words “pussy bow” on the Internet. Suffice it to say, is it something like what Sailor Moon used to wear?

        http://sailormoonhq.weebly.com/uploads/3/0/9/0/3090252/4604933_orig.jpg

        Because if so, that’s actually kind of cute, at least from my perspective. But that could just be the weeb-ette in me showing.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          The “pussy bow” is more of a self tie – made of the same material as the body of the shirt. Depending on placement it can cause view of cleavage,. Which can be unfortunate if like me, you have no cleavage.
          Sailor Moon is also a girl, not a woman.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I had a couple of blouses with them in the 80s. Hated them. Cuz I have big boobs and the fuckers *always* gapped. Kill them with fire.

    • Three Finger Salute
    • Panika MCD

      isn’t “millennial pink” also supposed to be the color of pepto?

    • mancityRed6

      this house was around in the late ’70s up until at least the early ’90s. I haven’t been over to see if it’s still there
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2c33ed61ef4eb394f745d272bf7865cade5ac23f060bebb26b00dfdf22155fd9.jpg

      • Bananas Foster

        If you’re inside it, you don’t have to look at it…

        • Baconzgood

          Guy Du Maupassant ate lunch on top of the Eiffle Tower almost every day. When asked “do they serve good food there?” He responded “no but it’s the only place in Paris I can eat without looking at it”

      • Baconzgood

        The stripes make look like it can go faster. Just like a Ford Mustang.

      • Parakeetist

        Eeeeeew

        • mancityRed6

          I always thought it was cool when I was a kid. ’cause it looked different, but it also meant we were heading to a mall with a toy store. and it beats the hell out of the 50 shades of beige in Johnson County, KS.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        “Growin’ up in little pink houses
        Makin’ out on living room couches”

  • CO
    • Why is this a pic of David Thewis?

      • CO

        A character he played in Fargo

        • Ok. I have not seen the show

          • CO

            He plays a very strange character in Season 3 named VM Varga. Ewan McGregor is also in that season.

          • Jimh

            Great ending.

        • Bill D. Burger

          He was amazingly creepy ___ superb character actor. Emmy worthy!

          • Courser_Resistance

            Ares in Wonder Woman, also too. Pretty fuckin scary. This ain’t no fucking Hogwarts!

          • Arolpin

            It took me most of Wonder Woman to figure out that he was VM Varga. My wife didn’t watch the last season of Fargo, so she was no help, and the Arolpin-spawn certainly don’t watch Fargo. I was quite pleased when I figured it out without IMDB.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Just relized that’s Knox Harrington in Lebowski!

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    And who the fuck designed that set? Is that patio furniture?

    • Joe Beese
      • Thiazin Red

        Not going to lie, I find that kind of cool. Its like what an alien zoo enclosure for humans would look like.

        • Ωbjectifier

          Must be Tralfamador then.

    • h4rr4r

      It’s a show for folks who have a couch on their front porch, so of course the patio furniture is inside.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        So where is the old toilet bowl converted into a shrine?

        No toilet bowl shrine, no white trash cred.

        This is why she can’t quite find her audience.

  • Randy Riddle

    One of my Facebook friends had the perfect comment on this:

    “ISIS has just claimed responsibility for the third hour of ‘Today’.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      There’s no proof yet that ISIS didn’t do it…

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

    • clubseal

      If ISIS were really serious, they’d claim responsibility for telemarketing or the gross lumps you sometimes get in poorly mixed coffee drinks.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Missing socks. Where do they go?

        • clubseal

          I know I shouldn’t but I’m laughing thinking about a bunch of ISIS assholes standing in front of a pile of pair-less socks.

    • Parakeetist

      Haaaaa

  • William
    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      The source is “Sexy Molly”?

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    I don’t knw if this has been reported but The Notorious RBG smacked down Gorsuch in open court today. If course, Gorsuch was trying to mansplain the Constitution, to greater legal minds.
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/ruth-bader-ginsburg-publicly-smacks-down-gorsuch-after-he-tries-to-mansplain-the-constitution/

  • ltmcdies
  • Michael R
  • Baconzgood

    The elegant, highly skilled and gentlemanly sport of hockey starts here tonight.

    “It’s a HOCKEY NIGHT IN PITTSBURGH”

    -Mike Lang-

    • Baconzgood
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
      • Baconzgood

        You can’t play hockey in Nashville. It’s a sin that they have in Las Vegas and not one in Quebec City.

        I personally thought they should have done the NHL expansion into Scandinavia. It talks a lot less time to fly from Boston to Oslo than it does from Boston to Phoenix.

        Think about it Quebec, Oslo, Helsinki in a league with Boston, Montreal and Toronto. Save a shit load on time and money in travel. And Helsinki would buy NHL tickets unlike Atlanta.

        • clubseal

          I’m not a Nashville fan and I’m still salty over that early whistle in the finals.
          Go Avs (I shout, with a bag on my head)!

          • Baconzgood

            It happend. “When the official loses sight of the puck he stops play with a long whistle followed by 2 short.

            Face off should take place in the center ice circle, or in the appropriate zone at officials discretion or line-mans opionion.

            This is a rule.

    • Arolpin

      As much as I love Hockey, it doesn’t really exist until after the World Series has finished. Especially when the YANKEES are back in the playoffs for real.

      • Baconzgood

        Ooh. American League? They don’t play baseball in the AL. Field 9 bat 9. The DH is sucky

        • Arolpin

          I can love the Yankees and still hate the DH. See my comments regarding last night’s game, where a late reliever hit a 2-run TRIPLE. Watching pitchers hit is awesome, even if they’re terrible.

          • Baconzgood

            CUBS RULE!

    • Mr. Blobfish
      • Baconzgood

        We don’t like Jager ever since he learned to speak english.

        He’s a whiner…worse than Lindros.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I just had a lengthy conversation with one of my white male working-class neighbors about gun control. I pointed out that the liberals don’t want to take away his guns, nor do they want to limit purchase of guns other than, maybe, military assault rifles, but they sure would like to institute a state or national PERMIT system, rather like the state one we had for 75 years that nobody complained about at the time. But the NRA hates permits like poison!!! Permits are the kiss of death to the 2nd Amendment, according to the NRA. Permits are UNPATRIOTIC and the slippery slope to the repeal of the 2nd Amendment and the government breaking down your door to take your guns away, according to the NRA (as if the pen was mightier than the sword, imagine that!)

    Neighbor is 65, and he said “I’m not against permits, I always had permits for my guns.” But then he said what all the white male gun humpers say “If we enact a permit system,
    that won’t stop all the bad guys.” And I said “We passed laws requiring seat belts, and we passed laws requiring child car seats, and we passed laws requiring speed limits, and it didn’t stop everyone from dying in car crashes, but it stopped HALF of the people from dying in car crashes. Are you saying that was not a good idea? Is it not better to stop HALF the gun massacres than NONE of the gun massacres?”

    He couldn’t deal with that. They can never deal with that. He just kept repeating “It won’t stop all the bad guys.”

    • Crank Tango

      Funny thing is so many of these mass shootings have been guys with legal guns, no?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes. That’s cause it’s SO EASY to buy a gun legally in most places.

        • Crank Tango

          So it might have stopped some of these bad guys, is what I mean.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yes. With a good data system in place, if one guy buys 45 guns at 5 different gun shops in the space of a few months, someone would notice, because that’s not normal. If a Muslim guy did that next week at a single gun shop, Homeland Security would be on him like a duck on a June bug.

          • Shanzgood

            If we can do that for cough syrup, we can do it for guns.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yeah! We do it for Sudafed, for Christ’s sake! In my state, they ID you when you try to buy a can of compressed air!!!

            It is literally harder to buy a box of Sudafed in my town than to buy a gun. I went to a supermarket 5 years ago with a bad cold and asked for a box at the pharmacy counter. Clerk had to see my driver’s license, then she asked if the address on my license was current. It wasn’t, I had moved. She said she COULD NOT sell me the box of cold medicine unless my driver’s license had my current address. Now this was bullshit. I had read the law, it doesn’t say ONE SINGLE WORD about how your driver’s license address has to be current, it just says you have to present the license as photo ID and give them your current address and phone #. I was so furious I called the state agency in charge of enforcing this law, and they said “Hell, no, that’s not in the law!” I called the supermarket back, talked to the Chief Pharmacist, he said “It’s a rule at our pharmacy chain.”

            And I told him it was bullshit, and I was never going to shop there again, and I never have. I could have bought an assault rifle in less time than it took me to drive to another pharmacy to buy the Sudafed, where they did NOT ask me if my license had my current address.

          • Shanzgood

            How come you run into so many people who are stoopid about the law?!

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I guess it’s a talent some people have. You know, everyone has a talent if you look hard enough, and this is their talent, and they’re proud of it. That sounded good when I thought it, it doesn’t sound so good when I write it down.

          • Shanzgood

            That’s ok. I collect weirdos.

    • ltmcdies

      you mean the crazy angry white guys….those bad guys…

    • h4rr4r

      Without registration how does anyone expect to enforce background checks?

      All I ask for is a law limiting the cost of transfers and checks, just like the state sets the price of vehicle inspections.

    • William
      • Beanz&Berryz

        “was bigger.” “were bigger” shows this was wrote by an elitist…

        • h4rr4r

          How about that FAMAS graphic? What kind of elitest would want a French gun?

          Probably bought it used, “never fired, only dropped once”.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Even more Euro-centric elitism…with a classic joke spin…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’m quite fond of Euro-centric elitists. If you hang out with those folks, you get the very best wine and cheese on the planet. They have good caviar too.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Ya. I got some Danish cousins in-law… Good folks to hang with… Little Beirut Portland doesn’t feel too foreign to them…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I just found this Finnish cheese at HyVee Supermarket that is half Gouda and half sharp Parmesan, and I think I am in love. This is a big problem, as it is expensive. It’s called Keisarinna. Yumm!

          • h4rr4r

            That is why the M16/M4 are the perfect rifles for Murica, they shit where they eat.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I don’t get that.. explain?

          • h4rr4r

            The m16 platform uses direct impingement. This means the gas generated by the round going off is directed back into the loading mechanism forcing the bolt and carrier back, ejects the spent casing and then spring pressure forces everything forward closing the bolt stripping off another round on the way in. This means the filthy waste gas is forced directly into the loading mechanism.

            Traditional rifle semiautomatic mechanisms use a piston that is pushed back by the gas. It is this piston that then moves back and operates the loading mechanism.

            The FAMAS holds the bolt forward with a lever and the force of the round firing pushes the bolt back. Since it cannot open until it overcomes the force of the lever this delays cycling/reloading until after the bullet has been sent on its way. This method also keeps filthy propellant gas out of the loading mechanism.

            I find how mechanical things work to be fascinating. Guns in particular are a very harsh working environment. This has been one big reason why smart guns have failed. I have seen none that could put up with the environment or were built in a way that reliably could prevent an unauthorized user from firing. The most recent one I saw examined could be fired by anyone with a magnet.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Cool. Thank you!

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Say that to a French Foreign Legion Paratrooper, please.

          • h4rr4r

            You realize that the foriegn legion part of that makes the joke work better?

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            No. Criticizing the French irks me. They saved us during the Revolution, more than once the world has trembled at the thought of French might. Germany’s entire war plan for the Great War was predicated on knocking out France first.

          • h4rr4r

            They did better the second time around.

            Also, it’s just a joke. I am sure I know worse jokes about every European nation.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I used to know a great joke about how the men in different European countries make love differently, but I have forgotten the punch line, so it’s no good anymore.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I like that… half is pretty good…

    • clubseal

      The only thing that would “stop all the bad guys” is the destruction of the human race. Not exactly an easy thing to advocate, even for someone who thinks that assault rifles are necessary to their existence as ‘Murikans.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Very true. People have tried very hard to eliminate huge swathes of the human race, most notably in our time Hitler, and it took a lot more time, effort and resources than he thought it would, so he failed. I find it oddly interesting that it took 8 to 10 years for 60 million people to die in WWII (and the key years leading up to it), but within 10 years of the end of WWII, 80 million Baby Boomers had been born. It’s hard to kill humans off, as they keep making more. Even the Bubonic Plague didn’t kill off all the humans, it only killed off half the humans.

        • clubseal

          God’s up there with a bottle of Raid, calling the manufacturer for a refund.

        • Three Finger Salute

          So we’re worse than cockroaches. Good to know. As though I didn’t hate everyone enough as it is.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Gun laws seem to be the only laws that have to be 100% effective to even be considered. Because there will always be a rationalization (right now the rationalization seems to be “well, if he couldn’t get bump stocks he would have just done the modification some other way”).

      • clubseal

        Here’s the incredibly stupid thing I saw on Facebook today, I shit you not: “3,000 Americans died on 9/11 and not a single shot was fired. It’s not a gun issue, it’s a hate issue.”
        Even for a vapid Facebook post, this is really dumb.

        • Three Finger Salute

          No, it’s a combination. Airplanes were not designed with the specific intent of maiming or killing people. Guns were, and are. So the problem is not only hate. It’s hate plus guns. Also too, plus a sociopathic electorate beholden to the gun-manufacturers’ lobby that won’t do anything about this toxic cocktail. Unless it’s blacks and browns with guns. So racism is also part of the problem.

          • clubseal

            Anyone who posts something like that non-ironically isn’t prone to reason, I’d reckon.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            True. I reason that they wouldn’t know reason if it ran over them.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Yeah, right. Weren’t there these two BIG BULLET-SHAPED things on 9/11? Two big silver bullets with wings? No, wait, it was a false flag conspiracy, it never happened at all. No, wait, it was Israel. No, wait, it was…………………

          You can post back “3000 people died in Hurricane Katrina and not a single shot was fired. So what the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

          • Arolpin

            Well, you could also post that after 9/11 we passed a metric fuckton of new laws. We made it so you can’t bring you own drinks on planes, you have to take your shoes off to get on a plane, you can’t travel to Canada or Mexico without a passport, we enacted legislation allowing all kinds of surveillance, etc. etc. If we passed just 1/10th as many laws after Las Vegas (and Sandy Hook, and San Berdo, and Texas, and VT, and Columbine, and on and on) we might actually start to reduce gun violence.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            But the NRA!!!!! Who would they bribe if we passed gun control laws??? Just joking, you’re absolutely right.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          So I guess we can undo the patriot act, and unlock all the cockpit doors now?

    • It will stop some bad guys.

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      Yes, Sir. But, if the Bad Guys can’t buy fucking automatic rifles, a weapon of war, it would be more difficult for the Bad Guy to murder 59 people and injure hundreds more if said Bad Guy had to use a sword, or a Baseball Bat with nails driven thru it.

    • rosenbomb

      Shooting without a permit is A-OK, but protesting without one is death incarnate.

      These people have the most inconsistent ideologies. Props to you for having that conversation for so long.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I actually mentioned that to one of my gun humping neighbors (not a friend). I said “You have to get a permit to hold a protest march.” He said with some fury “But that’s not in the Constitution like the right to bear arms!!!!!”

        And I said “It sure as hell is, it’s in the First Amendment – the right of the people peaceably to assemble!!!!!!!” He turned red and walked away as fast as he could.

        • rosenbomb

          Wow, just wow.

  • harryr

    “Monkey Tennis”, “inner City Sumo”

  • I don’t know. I’d tune in every weekday to watch Erick Erickson lose a debate to a billy goat.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Make her the host of one of their Friday night prison shows. Call it “Republican Lockup.”

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “Inside Politics” with Rick Santorum

    • Bill D. Burger

      “…bleeding out of his___wherever.”

    • Beanz&Berryz

      “The Messiness of Politics” by Rick Santorum

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1941, Anne Rice. I don’t read much fiction but I enjoyed the series on “Lasher.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f6f810d6aeae1c3e49052861bb5f887ef795a33a6b7acdf55c348cd635d249c9.jpg

  • ltmcdies

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/04/politics/bob-corker-trump/index.html

    Trump really seems to know how to piss off his own supporters.

    Unless they are actually cult members

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Corker is retiring so his criticizing DOTUS doesn’t really count. I like to see honesty from one of those fuckers who will have to run for reelection one day. Though it is a start.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Maybe I’m naive but I do NOT understand why losing election is a fate worse than death for these guys. It’s not like they’ll starve. Most of them have the connections they need to move into high-paid cushy jobs with lots less aggravation than being a congresscreature ever was.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    “Swamp Murders” with the rapey-looking one from Faux and Friends.

  • Panika MCD

    more serious suggestion. I just listened to this week’s TribCast twice and I’m not even sorry. Evan Smith called himself a “fucking moron”.

    https://www.texastribune.org/2017/10/04/gun-politics-rex-tillerson-and-states-health-commission-podcast/

    this would make great TVs.

  • BearLeft

    Roy Moore’s Fun With the First Amendment!

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    Bill O’Reilly debates the ghost of Alan Colmes?

  • Sophia
  • Cat Cafe

    JEERS–Alex Jones mocks anyone trying to make the world a better place
    WHO’S CONSPIRING NOW?- Youtube and 4Chan stars vote for which conspiracy is truest
    CHICAGO CHEMTRAILS – Dick Wolf’s latest show, with detectives going after the latest chemtrails that do exist, for reals–sponsored by Heinz Vinegar
    AMERICA’S GOT MALICE – a round up of all the best tweets of the day, sponsored by Twitter
    JAY LENO’S GARBAGE – another Jay Leno show in which David Letterman is passed over

  • BearLeft

    “I’m so excited; I’m also a little nervous,” she confesses as her new show, Megyn Kelly Today, tanks. “I’ve never tried this drivel in front of anyone but deluded neanderthals before!”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Courser_Resistance

      In other news,Water is Wet!

    • Thiazin Red

      But we were told that hiring super rich people meant that they wouldn’t steal? How is this even possible?

  • Thiazin Red

    What are people reading?

    I decided to go full YA nonsense (not an insult really, I love some YA nonsense) and read Conspiracy of Us. Its kind of like a YA da Vinci Code, but not as dumb. The main character is also less of a ridiculous Mary Sue than Robert Langdon, and shes a girl with purple eyes. The pacing is pretty good, and its entertaining. Would buy the sequel if Audible also puts that on sale for 4 dollars, or watch the CW adaptation.

    • Three Finger Salute
      • Arolpin

        Just heard the interview on ‘The Gist’ with Mike Pesca. I think I”m going to have to look for it at my library.

    • Cat Cafe

      I’m reading Hillary’s book…..it’s GREAT, I really recommend it to everyone.

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      “Crucible of War” by Fred Anderson, it’s the standard, very readable text on the Seven Years War, the French & Indian War, and the causes thereof.

      I found out I have something in common with George Washington – he had a “Dangerous Temper” too.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Just getting started on Memoirs by William Tecumsah Sherman… a big-assed book… but, fascinating descriptions of early California, so far…

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        Ooh, that’s going on the wish list, thank you. :)

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I finished reading that recently. Definitely worth it, even if I had to take a break for a week.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Richard Price’s latest The Whites. Not about white people. Cops and murderers.

    • Panika MCD

      you might like some Francesca Lia Block if you don’t already.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Eve Dallas series by J.D. Robb. Near future high tech police procedurals (with excellent sex). Pretty sure Castle was based on these, without the SF stuff.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        My mum and sister are obsessed with that series, I’ll have to check it out.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Nora Roberts (JD Robb) is pretty good (or her atelier is pretty good- I never believe these guys are writing these things themselves) about not getting super formulaic and stiff. Plus these books are actual procedurals with rules and clues.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Intoxilyzer 5000 Series Reference Manual! With the Intoxilyzer 5000EN Manual Supplement!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I was reading your non-comment. I think I’ll go back and read it some more.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      The Devil’s Feast by M J Carter. It’s a mystery set in 1840s England with politics in the background. Particularly, the Chartist progressive movement: one man, one vote; secret ballot; etc. It’s the third in the series, all with politics and colonialism involved.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Today’s National Taco Day. Taco trucks on every corner would’ve been nice…

    • Panika MCD
      • Arolpin

        Hmmm, well, if what I see during my bi-decade Taco Bell visits are true, that statement is half correct.

        • Panika MCD

          that assumes that Taco Bell sells tacos and bells.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          I can’t deal with the Taco Bell aftermath and there are a lot of good places for real tacos nearby.

          • Arolpin

            To clarify, I am not in ANY WAY claiming that Taco Bell makes anything close to real tacos. They don’t even make decent Merkin FastFood Tacos, but it’s my wife’s go to drunk food, which means that on occasion I am required to stop there. Last Friday night was probably the first in the last 5 years, and it’s as bad as ever.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            My go to drunk food is Waffle House. But since I’ve been relatively sober for the past year and a half, It hasn’t been invoked. 1-2 drinks per week max and no pot brownies. It was hard at first.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I wanna taco!!

        • Panika MCD

          go to the taco truck.

    • Bill D. Burger

      It’s also National Vodka Day….and I have some Stoli Elite to celebrate.
      Course’ I still have to look up to ‘Karen’ and Chelsea Handler…next to them, I’m an amateur. :)

      http://media2.giphy.com/media/QDUZEEinaznqM/giphy.gif

      • Moebym of the Returners

        In Mother Russia, every day is Vodka Day.

        …I’ll see myself out.

        • Covfefe

          Leave the vodka.

      • Panika MCD

        tequila libelz.

      • Holly

        Can I substitute a really good wine and make believe it’s vodka? I don’t have any vodka. However, I do have some Cruzan Rum – can I drink that?

    • I had tacos for dinner and will have the left overs for lunch tomorrow!

  • A Bashful Nobody

    No,see, Erickson actually is fucking the goats.

    • Khavrinen

      At least you don’t have to worry about him telling them to get abortions…

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
  • memzilla Ω
    • Panika MCD

      fair point. Andy Borowitz totally needs a TV show.

  • Swampgas_Man

    So I’m having a panic attack because of a BIG job interview tomorrow, (Apple retail) (hey, when you’re working retail, this is a big step up, believe me), and my dad calls. Says they’ve finally put down the money on a new house that won’t be finished until February. But in the meantime, be sure to sell all my stuff, except books (THANK YOU GOD) and maybe my TV, and be prepared to move to FLA. I hate the concept of FLA (just thinking about the summers gives me breathing problems), so now this job tomorrow means not just a better life but keeping the life in PA that I have.

    BUT DON’T PUSH THE PANIC BUTTON!

    • Bitter Scribe

      Good luck dude.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Breath deep and slow.. and just remember… they can’t hit you in the face… And play this song:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYnyS_ISK2Y

      • Cock Blockula

        Nice song. Me like.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Oh, the best of luck to you!

    • Look at the cover of The Guide and Don’t Panic!

    • Bananas Foster

      My favorite breathing exercise:
      Inhale for a count of four.
      Hold for a count of seven.
      Exhale for a count of eight.

      Repeat.

    • TundraGrifter

      When you get the interview, they already know you can do the job. They want to talk with you to determine if they can stand to see you walk through the door every morning. Are you a person they can get along with?

      Well, you’re here on Wonkette so you’re obviously a great person.

      Good luck!

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      You can do it! :) Breathe.

    • Holly

      Good luck to you! You’ll be great!

    • Sophia

      Good luck

    • Jeffery Campbell

      They will be really lucky to get you. Remember that.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Be confident, and honest, and friendly. And most important – LISTEN. Be responsive to what they ask you.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      On the floor or Genius Bar? I love the Apple Store and I have to stay out because I drool. I had an interview for Apple phone support in 2014. But the 6-week training is a 45-minute commute and I wasn’t up to that then. Or to be honest, I couldn’t do it now.
      Damn disabilities.

    • Shibusa

      Good luck!

    • Doug Langley
    • TootsStansbury

      And don’t worry too much about being nervous. Interviewers know you’re nervous, if they’re remotely human, they take that into account.

    • Paul

      Tell ’em you literally have thousands of friends who will all put on pants and write letters of recommendation, all classy and grown up and shit.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    Ole BBQ Nips with Alex Jones

  • Bitter Scribe

    It is completely, utterly impossible to imagine Hillary Clinton having to call a press conference to not-even-deny having called Barack Obama “a fucking moron.”

    • Thiazin Red

      I’m also having trouble imagining that Clinton’s SOS would have had to do a press conference like that.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Well, inasmuch as it would have been Joe Biden, I’m not sure you can say that with completely surety.

    • BearLeft

      Studies have shown that working for a fucking moron increases the likelihood of calling your boss a fucking moron by lots.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I’ve heard everyone talking about that too…

    • Toledo Window Box

      Or any Secretary of State, calling ANY President a fucking moron. It’s mind-blowing.

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1895, Buster Keaton. I loved him in “The General.” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9621a9c72b6190403ab2bf98c8ae0d89ac626baf993c0c8ae4371713f4d93a0a.jpg

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      What’s he doing these days? I’m asking for my friend, Don….

    • Cat Cafe

      The house is stalled on the tracks–a train is coming, closer, closer, WOO WOO—they desperately try to save the house but can’t—here comes the train–they give up, close their eyes–and then the train passes on a SIDE TRACK! Relief! Joy! Embracing!
      Then–

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b20b4758afa22da69d514c011e3072417d9096c49ac5a75fb0bc64d19ad18968.gif

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Buster Keaton has always been my imaginary boyfriend.

      True story.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        GTFO!! Me too!!!

        • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

          Woot!

    • Old town Urbandale

      Love Keaton, love his physical comedy in The General, but as a cousin of one of the seven Union soldiers hung in the incident that inspired the movie, can’t say that I enjoy the story.

    • therblig

      in addition to his immense talent, i always admired him after i found out that he was one of the few people who stood by his friend fatty arbuckle – he made a public statement in support of arbuckle’s innocence, and after the scandal, when arbuckle’s career had been destroyed, he signed over 35% of his future studio profits to his friend.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    “And Then The Murders Began”

  • Tacos for dinner and now i’m watching A League of Their Own. Because i fucking want to

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      We’re watching Dracula’s Daughter — more upbeat than reality.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Didn’t Megyn get the job based on her performance with Roger Ailes’ listcicle?

  • CripesAmighty

    30 years ago, this was broad parody:
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fqXDN3Scsls

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Had to step out for a moment to drop Cam Newton from my FFL team. I don’t have the heart to link the reason–suffice it to say he made a ridiculously sexist comment to a female sports reporter, and I have zero patience for that shit in the age of Donald the Terrible.

    Now, if only my IRL team would do that with our QB…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0a3a03bc2b7849bc8903a5b3ba6e03aedce735ca9565221fc3168b1a92d29837.jpg

    • DainBramage

      Yeah, that was bad. But exactly what I’d expect from a guy whose been a coddled athlete his whole life.

      • Panika MCD

        it’s not the first time he’s been interviewed by a female sports reporter.

    • Ωbjectifier

      There’s no crying in the Terrible Towel!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      What a jerk. He’s never recovered from his pouting after losing the Super Bowl.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      He wasn’t kneeling was he? Because if he was . . .

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I’d prefer a sexist comment over a sex offender, but alas Cam is black and Big Ben is white.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Ugh…I swear, you’d think at this point athletes would understand a) female reporters are not going away and b) they get to ask the same questions men do.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        What did I miss?

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer gal.

  • Panika MCD

    did anyone else read the ProPublica article that Dom linked this morning? this ARC bullshit has to stop. it wasn’t just the council member that was fucked with. and I can tell you more about why the person was kicked out of Jefferson Co. (but, if you’ll remember the eyebrowless wonder WT arguing with me about whether or not small town folk could recognize volunteers from their own communities, you remember most of it.) it was republished by the Trib so I would have seen it anyway, but y’all should read it.

    https://www.propublica.org/article/texas-official-after-harvey-the-red-cross-was-not-there

  • Three Finger Salute

    Warning: This will make you stabby. Please to remove all sharp objects from within immediate reach.

    The front line of America’s war over abortion: Six states each have just ONE remaining licensed clinic, surrounded by pro-life centers where protesters line the streets chasing down patients to plead with them to “make the right decision”

    Suffer the women for Jesus, to punish them for the wicked sins of Eve. This is your country on drugs — and that drug is called religion, specifically religious patriarchy.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d9f7969766425fad6e86fbcb5ab24bbf0522934cea5b33c02afde22e17a6e2a7.jpg

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Back in the day, they did abortions in hospitals, so you couldn’t tell that that is what someone was there for.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Their ultimate goal is to overturn Roe and force women and abortion providers to face criminal charges for “fetal murder.” It doesn’t surprise me that every single one of these states is a Christofascist GOP theocracy. The prick in Canada looking to take Ford Nation national and usurp Justin’s job wants this. Every last one of these anti-woman, anti-science fearmongers needs to be met with a resounding NO.

        • Thiazin Red

          If they ever got their wish there is zero doubt that Griswold would be the next target.

          • Three Finger Salute

            And not Clark and Ellen either.

        • Rags

          Overturning Roe v. Wade will not criminalize abortion. That will require second step of passing a law, either Fed or state. Unless the RWNJ’s get 60 votes in the Senate (or kill the filibuster) a Fed law ain’t gonna happen.
          Most likely, some deep red states would pass something and some blue states will make it clear that abortion will remain safe and legal there. Just one more step in the fragmentation of our nation.

    • Shibusa

      The women of Mississippi, West Virginia, Kentucky, Wyoming, North Dakota and South Dakota need to VOTE, for fuck’s sake.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Religious brainwashing. Also too, the women affected by this are disproportionately WoC, and we know what the hick states do to uppity negroes who stray from the plantation and try to vote out their masters…

      • guppy06

        They do. “Choices for me but not for thee.”

      • Claire

        They do vote. Most of them vote for other women not to be able to have abortions.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Her fans probably didn’t recognize her with her clothes on.

  • CO
    • Panika MCD

      looks like it’s not the first time she’s worn it either.

      • CO

        Maybe she bought it after Trump called Hillary nasty.

        • Panika MCD

          probably. it might also be the only thing she has clean at the moment.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I like the cut of her jib…

    • Paul

      Needs an extra long red tie.

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      And what an odd adjective to use to attack women. Who, besides the toddler-in-chief, calls anyone “nasty”? It has such a crotchety-grandmother sound to it. It’s what Lucille Bluth would call a maid who wasn’t sufficiently respectful.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    How about this show for MSNBC: “Hardball with Literally Anybody Else”?

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      “With Literally Joy Reid for Fuck’s Sake”
      FIFY

  • Toledo Window Box

    Putting Megyn Kelly on NBC will go down with New Coke and the Edsel. It’s still amazing to me that ANYBODY thought Kelly could get an audience on normal television with the Fox stank all over her.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      The only thing is the Edsel is starting to bring better money all the time at classic car auctions. On the other hand, they only had one direction to go.

      • Toledo Window Box

        Well maybe 60 years from NOW, Megyn will have some value.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      If she’s New Coke, let’s get her that coveted Bill Cosby endorsement!

    • clubseal

      I’d rather watch a real fox (red or gray) run around while news scrolls by on the bottom of the screen. In fact, I could say that about a lot of things.

    • Edith Prickly

      No shit. NBC brass were seriously deluded if they thought anyone who watches Fox would switch to them. Fox watcher actually believe all that bullshit about LIEBERAL BIAZZ and Kelly was dead to them once she went over to the dark side.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      So, staring at her long legs, crossed over and flowing out of a hemmed too short dress, really was the only reason she had an audience at Fux.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • bbayliss

      Sad but true.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    These pro-life people are useless idiots. The repubs will only make abortions harder to obtain, not outlaw it since they need those one issue voters to keep going to the polls.

  • OrG

    Why are the stupid people ALWAYS in charge?

    • DainBramage

      We just want to live our lives. They want to run everybody elses’.

      • Panika MCD

        *ruin everybody elses’. FIFY

        • DainBramage

          Thanks!

    • Khavrinen

      Because the smart people have better shit to do than try to run everyone else’s life?

      Just a theory.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      They have more free time.

    • Toledo Window Box

      Because those that are most competent at taking power are often least capable of exercising it.

    • Three Finger Salute
  • DainBramage
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Black NRA is already on the job!
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzLoyY-ypPQ

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Love that lady.

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Awhile back I saw a Dragnet episode with Joe Friday extolling the virtues of gun registration and I was WTF(?) until I remembered that the Black Pantherswere big at the time.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I don’t know why he wasted time giving away cell phones. Fuck the Obamaphone, I wanted me an Obamagun.

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        Obama used his time machine to create the Lifeline program during Reagan’s presidency and expand it to cell phones under George W. Bush. Thanks, Obama!

    • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

      By Friday? By tomorrow evening.

  • dshwa

    Did NBC really think they could lure viewers away from FOX news’ Three Idiot Assholes on a Couch by putting Megyn Kelly opposite them?

    • Toledo Window Box

      Hiring Megyn was a giant brain fart on the part of NBC execs.

      • DainBramage

        Definitely a Groupthink decision. I bet no individual will fess up to being the champion of it.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Brain fart + Groupthink ->Groupstink.

          It was a groupstink decision.

  • Ezio

    In case you missed it, Wendy’s got into a Twitter rap battle with a regional chicken chain. This is 2017 alright. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5c77d2a20ea0b1d1e3a512a20f19128af0596d5a8f423dd3bbf168e97e071cfa.jpg

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      What the fuck does Sidney Crosby have to do with this?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Penguins have wings?

    • rosenbomb

      gotta give the Millennial marketing majors something to do, I guess…

    • Why does wingstop’s first and second lines got no rhythm to it?

      • clubseal

        It’s certainly lacking in flow.

        Rap lovers would know.

        • It’s all awks. I keep trying to make the beat happen in my head but it refuses to do so.
          Woulda been better if they said “You stole those lines from, Sid the Kid”

    • JCfromNC

      Whoever runs Wendy’s Twitter account certainly loves to throw shade at their competition. I saw a whole article on one of those clickbait sites (Bored Panda or Distractify or something) with examples of their trash-talk.

      • Three Finger Salute

        So… there’s the beef?

  • Panika MCD

    can someone help me find a masochist who typed up those leaked talking points? I want to do something with them, but I don’t want to have a rage fit typing them up myself.

    EDIT: Washington Examiner has plenty of masochists. should have thought of that first.

  • TootsStansbury

    Today, on Painting With Annie: Paint the happy little cigarette butts. Make the bits of broken glass stand out with a zuzsh zuzsh zuzsh of the blessed white. Use a fine brush for the razor wire! Crumbling mortar looks realistic when expressed in light and shadow. Mix up yellow and blue to get a nice toxic green for the lake! Make your dystopian hellscape your own creation, there are so many options!

  • Picabo

    Born on this date in 1923, Charlton Heston. Yes I know, NRA thing. By that time his acting career was over and he was just an old man screaming at clouds to get attention. Also Alzheimer’s disease may have contributed. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dca0ded45ff4c6125ea40fa9f7dacf40f94333ed5d6701877ed164cb54ff5acf.jpg

    • Beanz&Berryz

      The Big Country. Charlton Heston. Gregory Peck. Jean Simmons. Burl Ives. Never saw anyone slam on a pair of leather jeans as hard as Charlton does in that movie…

    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • h4rr4r

      Before he went coocoo he was pretty big civil rights guy.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      It came out in 1968 (apparently). I saw it in the movie theatre at Fort Story, an Army post in Virginia Beach. When the gorillas came riding out on the the horses with their guns and all the guys in the theatre went “ape” I tells ya!

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      “Damn you! Damn you all to Hell!”

      He was known for Subtlety. xD

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, he should scream. Thanks to him and Rambo Reagan, we’re a country of shit-flinging rabid monkeys far removed from the great apes. His party wants to turn the poor into Soylent Green. And the Second Amendment Commandment has been merged with the first, to a point where hoarding an arsenal is a protected religious ritual and free-flowing bullets count as free speech. All because Moses held up an Uzi in one hand and a stone tablet in the other reading, “America is the Lord thy God; thou shalt make no laws regulating the freedom to bear arms.”

      I suffer no illusions that Hollywood is truly liberal. But they could do a bigly part in bolstering some bonafides by removing the walk-of-fame stars belonging to Moses, Reagan, and Dotard. Since we’re getting rid of the Confederate statues, remove their hopscotch tiles too.

  • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

    Something else cool happened yesterday – this will be nerdy. About 5 years ago I got interested in the Cold War Canadian Army, and the tanks they used, the Leopard C1. The C1 is a variant of the West German Leopard 1A3. At that time, I bought the then-new Meng model kit of the 1A3, but you can’t make a C1 out of the box, it’s too different. A Canadian Hobby company called Trackjam makes a kit to convert the C1 – but you need the Italeri kit of the 1A3, that kit is older than I am, it’d be a $200 dollar project. No go.

    Now, Legend Productions make a set to convert the Meng kit. It’s about $35, so I ordered it and a reference book. The set will be here Friday. Five years, and soon I can build my dream project. :)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c8b0ac839c9c2af38cb4534b01b0ce97148bb69f869adab48ccfcd597afce14c.jpg https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2e07243d1b81fc2382780fc4582fa5159991fbf463bf93be56985e4595d8c032.jpg

    • h4rr4r

      You must be older than I thought.

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        44

        • h4rr4r

          So you bought it when you were negative 10?

          The most impressive part is 54 years ago the C1 had not yet been built.

          • JCfromNC

            I was wondering what the hell you were on about, and then I caught the typo my eyes had slid right over the first time I read her post.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Typo, since corrected.

          • h4rr4r

            I was just having a little fun about your time traveling.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            No prob. My nails cause lots of typos, I catch about a third before I hit “post”.

    • Wuulf
      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        Tank Cat!

      • Fartknocker

        After the shitty week so far, thank you for the loud laugh.

        • Panika MCD

          if these potential adopters’ application doesn’t go through, I demand you at least come meet JJP.

    • JCfromNC

      I have never had the patience to build detailed scale models (or to learn the skills), but I do love looking at the results from people who do. I want pictures when it’s done! :-)

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        Of course! It’ll take time, lots of tiny details. The markings I need haven’t yet been released, but with this set just out I’m sure the markings for the Royal Canadian Dragoons will be out soon.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Ah, memories…

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        Really? Feel like sharing? :)

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          I used to build 35/th scale armour kits. Gave it up a few years ago, a combination of lost interest and fading eyesight. I wasn’t too bad, took a few awards at IPMS USA National and regional contests.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Excellent! You must have been damned good. I had a friend that won some state level awards.

            I have been happy with my gaming miniatures, I still need to get confident on my 1/35 kits. I have a bunch of moderns and some ww2 German and American kits.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            I wasn’t bad. But this was almost twenty years ago. The quality of work has gone way past what I was capable of. It started to take the enjoyment out of it for me. I like your miniature figure work. I was never any good at painting those.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Thank you. I do love the painting of minis. I feel confident in my airbrush, I think I can do a good job on the C1.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Saw a 100 year memorial to the Canadian Navy a couple weeks ago… Created when UK drop Canadian naval defense in the lead-up to WWI.

      • h4rr4r

        The polar bear legions must have been something.

        No really though quite the military history for such a small in population nation.

        • DrBigHead

          Yes, but as with other “colonies”, they provided a significant # of soldiers for Britain. Same as the ANZAC countries

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Yup…

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        Dang. I greatly admire Canadian military history. They tend to fight like lions.

        • Polite lions

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            xD

        • Three Finger Salute

          Did you see Justin’s WW1 movie? It’s on YouTube. Search “The Great War CBC”. There’s a part where a girl from Newfoundland talks about the lasting impact that the war had on her province even (at that time) 90 years later, and sings the provincial anthem while choking up. I didn’t know that “In Flanders Fields” was written by a Canadian army doctor. Chemical weapons surprising those kids who didn’t know what had hit them. And warfare has only gotten more technologically efficient yet barbaric ever since. Now you can outsource it to drones and compartmentalize the human factor by only involving machines…

          There’s the old joke about the polite Canadians, but Vimy Ridge was really where they forged their identity as a nation unto themselves. This after the British commanders sat in their Belgian chateau sipping tea, while remotely dispatching orders for the disposable colonials to go and get slaughtered in broad daylight at the Somme. They were mad as hell and they weren’t going to take it anymore.

          Really well-done documentary. And of course, Justin in his uniform as Talbot Papineau, with his little Jack Russell terrier. I take it the beagle and the bird were away for awhile, on an airborne mission chasing the Red Baron. 😊

          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0498d59aeca36e70c6fd03b164170e18a973d315fb7b2fe7bf3a045259af4fc6.jpg

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Oh, I’ll put it on my watchlist, thank you. :) During the Great War, the German Intelligence service rated ordinary Canadian soldiers as equal to the Guards or Sturmtruppen of any other nation.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Eh Canada!

      Might need to dust those off again if Dotard ever decides to throw more than paper towels over the border…

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        These are all gone, I’m afraid. I don’t know if Canada will finalize the purchase of Leopard 2A6, or just go with the Stryker variant.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Cool! I wish one of those would fit in my car port.

      And the HOA weren’t a bunch of motherfuckers.

    • Werewolf

      Know where I could get a model of an IDF Centurion, Shot Daled model? Served in those suckers in my yute.

      • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

        https://www.scalemates.com/kits/582801-afv-club-af35277-idf-sho-t-kal-dalet-w-battering-ram

        AFV Club make a Sho’t Dalet, is that close? Legend make detail sets for different Sho’t Kal variants.

        • Werewolf

          Same thing-different transliteration of the Hebrew. “Shot”, “Sho’t” means whip, daled/dalet is the fourth letter of the Hebrew alphabet, so “Whip D”. Replaced by the Merkava Mk. 3, and the hulls have been converted into APCs.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Cool! The AFV Club kit is very nice, they are high-quality.

  • Candy Matson Y-28209

    Ok this is neat, Blue Monday played on 1930’s instruments. https://youtu.be/cHLbaOLWjpc

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Awesome!

  • AJ Milne

    (Lawls hard at ‘Fuck It, We’ll Cook It Live!’)

    … I… Umm… Might even watch that…

    I’m part of the problem, aren’t I.

    • JCfromNC

      It’s all mayonnaise sandwiches on white bread, though.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Ari Melber fucking sucks.

    • janecita

      Thank you!

    • What has he done, now?

      …He seemed mostly together before he got his own show, but now he seems to say something outrageous every other day.

  • Jamoche

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/kellyanne-conway-scrutinized-for-taking-private-flights/amp/
    Kellyanne Conway also a member of the Frequent Private Taxpayer Funded Flying Club.

    • Candy Matson Y-28209

      I say her name by her initials, KAC, and I pronounce it like my cat throwing up a fur all. (I like to entertain myself)

      • DainBramage
      • bluicebank

        Why do cats throw up? When I adopted a stray, no barfing because probably vry hungry. Now? Tosses cookies whenever he feels like it.

        • Candy Matson Y-28209

          To assert dominance, I’m guessing :)

          • bluicebank

            Perhaps more along the lines of “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

        • Most of the time is something indigestible got down there, prolly from them cleaning themselves. Hairs tickle throats.
          get a living kitty plant thingy, it helps a little. Not really lessens the hair balling but does make it easier on them.

          • bluicebank

            Probably a bit cliche, but my cat is different. Lived outdoors for 2+ years, word is, and then I bribed him with tuna and salmon.

            I’m for sure that he keeps eating mice when he doesn’t wolf down regular cat food.

    • SURPRISED FACE.

  • janecita
    • JCfromNC

      I think I can confidently say “No,” at least where this particular article is concerned.

    • Joe Beese

      A census taker tried to test me once…

      • The Wanderer

        Liver’s best served with bacon and onions. Pro tip.

        • janecita

          And a glass of Chianti.

          • bluicebank

            Seriously, no. If I’m going all Donner Party, I’ll want real booze to wash it down.

          • Thiazin Red

            I bet you would need it, I can’t imagine that human liver would taste very good.

          • Might be if you fed them a whole mess of grains for a week first….
            or. You know.People say.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Mine might. It’s been marinating in booze for years.

          • bluicebank

            It’s all in the spices. I swear I could cook cardboard to taste given some olive oil, butter, sage, garlic, rosemary couldn’t hurt, pepper, shallots … oh but I do go on. ;-)

            Not really, cardboard would taste like crap no matter how well you sauce it. Human liver? Dang, he wasn’t a drinker, was he?

          • OutOfOrbit

            hey, i survived the donner party

          • bluicebank

            You and me both, OutOfOrbit. It was those stuck-up moralists who said “oh no, we ain’t eating no peoples.” I found them quite tasty. Soylent Green is people, just not five-star.

          • DrBigHead

            Do the crabs like the chianti, too?

          • janecita

            They love it!

        • Thiazin Red

          Depends what kind. Chicken livers are best as pate.

          • janecita

            Or as bait for crabs.

          • Werewolf

            Ground with onion, a hard-boiled egg, some chicken fat to hold it together, salt and pepper. My grandmother would always put just a little cinnamon in, too. Serve on hallah or pumpernickel (or matzah on Passover). Yum!

        • Perkniticky

          I beg to differ. Liver is best with garlic and mint.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          and canned clams also too. Yummy!

      • janecita

        Did he survive?

    • a genre where the lyrics brag about treating women like meat (ho’s), brag about hoarding wealth (swag), brag about their cars, and call the rest of the world “muthafuckas” and “niggas” attracts psychotics?????? geeeeee, who would have thought?

      *facepalm*
      Oh look, whitewashwhitesplainin a rare treat!

    • bluicebank

      I’m sorry, I was listening to Tom Petty. What was the question?

    • Jamoche
    • Raan

      But what if you prefer a fair amount of diggity, or perhaps an overwhelming surplus of diggity?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I have always liked My Bologna. Does that mean I’m a psychonerd?
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4_G7HHJ0GE

    • OutOfOrbit

      Why? What have you heard?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      No Diggity? No fuckin Diggity?? That song is awesome! And I have been to enough therapists and psychiatrists that if I was a psychopath someone would have mentioned it by now. Shit, I *wish* I was a little more like a psychopath sometimes when I’m being too hard on myself.
      Although, most of my extended family once got kicked out of a wedding reception venue when we overstayed by almost an hour and refused to leave until the dj played No Diggity. We’re not psychopaths though, just a pack of drunks who love to dance.

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      No, my mother had me tested.

    • Doug Langley

      Has anyone bothered explaining to these people that if your boss is a psychopath, it’s a bit obvious?

      • They’d rather allow people to test you for what kind of music you listen to.
        Because that is not at all junk science.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      No. I was tested. Maybe MMPI, or some other test. Extremely low chance of pshychopathy.

      I still want to break shit on a daily basis though. Fucking Trump.

      • janecita

        Don’t we all?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I only like to listen to that song while stitching together my Halloween skins.. I mean costume. Halloween costume.

    • Bad Scooter

      Sia doesn’t have a song titled “Tantrum” so I call BS on this study and this article and any Dr.s that claim to diagnose people by asking what songs they like.
      also, too: no psychopath, no psychopath, you’re the psychopath!

      • janecita

        Let me guess, you are a fan of the song;-)

        • Bad Scooter

          yeah, that too.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Trump wasted a perfectly good opportunity while in Vegas. Could have held a beautiful rally outside on a warm desert evening. He needs to defend our unique American right to lose our lives in senseless violence and horror.

    • chimpevil

      Did he oink out semi-human noises that came out semi-normal? I’m sure all concerned were touched and consoled by the piggish empathy.

  • TundraGrifter

    Donald J. Trump: “The Biggest Loser.”

  • Ezio
    • Panika MCD
    • Three Finger Salute

      I’m not saluting an anthem that’s part and parcel of our racist war-porn culture either. Go home Anacreon, you’re drunk.

      • Kurt Weil

        I thought it was Aclibiades who was drunk.

    • Everrett Fanuelli
      • Angela Ruzzo

        Rats! You beat me to it! Good one!

    • AJ Milne

      It’s moments of fuck you clarity like this that give me hope.

      The spammers and bullshiters and faux patriots wrapped in flags, they gots their volume and deception and red herrings galore… besides slice ‘n dice databases and microtargeting, and then rooms in Vladivostok fulla indentured trolls, sure…

      … and against ’em, all the same, beautiful fuckers who just use all that to sharpen their claws.

      • Keep in mind, the same people screaming that kneeling or sitting is disrespecting the flag have no problems with their idols WEARING the thing next to their junk.

        • HooverVilles

          Exactly and irony goes way over their heads.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Thanks for playing, and be sure to pick up your sheet and the hood on your way out.

    • Perkniticky

      My God rightwingers are imaginative with their non sequiturs. I didn’t even think to consider how anthem protests might relate to mass shootings.

      • Stulexington

        How dare he try to multitask! I mean no one is capable of both being in mourning for the people attacked and also too protesting, it’s one or the other man!

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      I am sick of this Fascist “Moar Patriotic Than Thou” Bullshit.

      • Especially when it is false patriotism. They revere the symbols, but not the ideals.

        • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

          Exactly. I’ll be honest, I don’t believe in my nation anymore, and I stopped all the 4th of July hooraw and such after I Came Out to encounter almost daily hate.

      • oldmechanician

        For a long time now I have felt that loving the country is misguided. Trying as best we can to love each other is more productive. The country is a useful institution. It has qualities that are admirable and qualities that are abhorrent. Loving each other would seem to entail working to make that sometimes useful institution better, more humane if you will. Admittedly some folks are difficult to love (e.g. current POTUS) but being as how I’m a backslid baptist (American Baptist, sort of like Methodists but with dunking) I can’t give up on all those christian notions about being commanded to love each other. Taint easy but maybe we should keep trying.

        • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

          Well said. I’m all for treating people well. :) I’m not Christian but I try to treat others how I wish to be treated.

          • oldmechanician

            What was that quote by some heavy weight rabbi? When asked what was the most important commandment he answered something to the effect of “treat others as you would have them treat you. All the rest is just detail.”
            I read somewhere that Jews sometimes frame it as “Do not do to others as you would not have them do to you.”

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            I like that a lot. :) It seems so simple, doesn’t it?

        • Strepsi

          Communist.

      • Jacob DiCiaula

        I’ve been part of the shooting foreigners and also imprisoning (often poor and people of color) folk. It’s a job. Someone has to serve in the infantry or as a prosecutor.

        But Cripes, it doesn’t mean I’m a super patriot and others don’t LOVE America. Shit, my law school thesis was on the expanding the conscientious objector law to those currently serving. Call me a liberal pussy who hates America, butrecognize those who peacefully protest are doing the most American thing possible.

        • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

          Indeed, I am glad for people like you that have served in those roles and bring compassion and thought to it.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            I’ve tried. Best I could do.

            I look in the mirror in the uniform once a month now. My name, the US army tag, my unit patch. See the blue chord on my dress uniform.

            I think of myself as patriotic. Watched band of brothers, Ken burns on Vietnam, the Pacific, etc.

            I cringe when I see someone on tv saying some action disrespects my service. If they aren’t killing folks, I’m probably cool.

            I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound preachy. But I think we need to talk about what being a patriot looks like, and that’s a conversation that is running downhill in the wrong direction.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            I don’t think you sound preachy, and I am in total agreement about the conversation this nation needs to have.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Not to totally abdicate responsibility, but a white male lawyer who’s resume is prosecutor, army infantry, criminal defense attorney is probably not a good message in terms of social, racial or sexual injustice

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            I appreciate what you’re saying, but as a Bisexual Transwoman, I think you do have an important voice. We can all do more with teamwork, together.

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            Just putting cards on table. Am boring midwestern white straight guy. Served with gay folks and saw no issues within the unit and I requested our very gay RTO because he was excellent at his job and could unfuck our coms.

            I don’t know anyone trans. I’ll admit, it’s harder to empathize.

            But, you are who you are. I’m an adopted asshole who lucked into wonderful parents and a great education and opportunities

            . I guess you are who you are, and please know soldiers support trans folk, even if it’s a bit more difficult explanation

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Thank you. :) What I say is, mistakes were made at my birth, I’m working to correct that medical condition. :)

          • Jacob DiCiaula

            I won’t reveal my ignorance other then to say best of luck!

            And please know there are plenty of folks in uniform who are sick on the trans policy now offered. If you can meet standard and are willing to put on the uniform, you can get in the suck with the rest of us.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            Thank you. :)

    • Opalescent Riddles

      He’s not sitting, he’s standing at half mast, which is what we often do with the flag after a tragedy.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Oh great, two heaping helpings of Ari Melber! Thank god I got a bunch of blu rays to watch.

  • Picabo

    This may be the tweet of the day.
    https://twitter.com/Travon/status/915710412531912705

    • Joe Beese

      “Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, and mass murder. Ask your doctor if Tuhexafol is right for you.”

      • Perkniticky

        This may be the comment of the day.

        • I am still grokking on Law and Order: Perpetual Victim Unit down below
          These wonks are FUNNEH

      • jesterpunk

        What if I ask my local arms dealer? My doctor is one of those edumicated elites.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        “If your shooting spree lasts longer than 4 hours, consult a doctor.”

    • Did he play video games, play football once, listen to the rap and or metal music ever in his life, and smoke the pot back in college?????

      • jesterpunk

        Did he ever kneel?

        • Begin Anew Day

          Cause and effect!

    • h4rr4r

      I kind of wonder if the Benzos were so he could get the nerve up.

    • Stulexington

      Well to be fair he was rich too, so double helping of media excuses. Also too maybe we should start caring about emotional instability at times other than when a girl wants to be preznut, like say when they’re buying guns.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Bullshit, buying lotz o’ gunz is a sign of stability.

      • Werewolf

        Right, he was suffering from affluenza!

      • Doug Langley

        Oh, the poor fellow! If only someone had listened to his cries for help!

    • Begin Anew Day

      This cat was already riding a decades long Gun High.

      And some foolish pill pusher gave him something to create a stronger cocktail?

      SHAME!

  • Panika MCD
  • Me not sure
  • Ken Berry

    I has a sad. Megyn is the almost worstest, but PLEASE, Wonkeroos, don’t forget Dame Peggington Noonington and her Pitcher of Bottomless Mai-Tais.

  • Joe Beese
    • Panika MCD

      he’s halfway there: retire now, asshat. you want to force women to give birth and force them to have abortions. you should be forced to resign.

    • Me not sure

      Wants to spend more time with his family…in divorce court.

    • Raan

      Good, maybe the Republican challenger will be too needlessly cruel for Pennsylvania.

  • Joe Beese
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      It’s like God is dropping hints all over.

    • Joe Beese

      Wonder why they haven’t replaced the windows yet. Surely it’s no longer an active crime scene. And every day they stay like that is worst possible PR for the hotel.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Probably ballistics

        • Joe Beese

          Yeah, I guess there are 7,000+ shell casings to study.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          At least throw a blue tarp over it.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Oh, you know Americans. That suite is going to be on the most wanted list for guests.

        • Joe Beese

          “Can we stay in the murder suite?”

          (stares, disgusted)

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It’s a very big 2-room suite. It probably is still a crime scene, and will probably stay one for a while, since they don’t seem to be able to dig up any dirt on this guy and will keep looking for a clue, any clue, in the room. They are wondering if the data from the security cameras he set up was being transmitted anywhere, so they will be looking into that for some time.

    • TootsStansbury

      Why, there is a metaphore. For something. That is beautiful.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Walking/flying away from yet another disaster…

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You are right. “Beauty and the Beast”? No, no, wrong metaphor. “On a wing and a prayer”? No, no, god had nothing to do with it. “Fly the friendly skies”? No, no, stupid one, very bad, 40 lashes with a wet noodle for that one. I’m clearly no good at metaphors, sigh.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Pulitzer Prize or I’m a monkey’s uncle!

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Angela Ruzzo

    I always thought Gilligan’s Island was the stupidest TV show ever produced, but I was clearly wrong. It’s good that at age 61 I am still learning things.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I was a kid but even then I wondered where the flour for the pies the “girls” cooked came from. Now I wonder where the oven came from.

      • Joe Beese

        As a young Beese watching the (then) WWF, I wondered why the Federation tolerated such sloppy officiating.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          As a Bz&Bz kid I defended pro-wrestling… watched alot on TV, went to a few bouts. I finally got the religion when, after seeing a bout live, I saw the same fight sequence on TV with different wrestlers…

          • Begin Anew Day

            They had different choreography from match to match?

            I’ll have to tune in to see if this is so.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Come for the Ginger, stay for the Mary Ann.

    • Joe Beese
      • alpacapunchbowl

        I forgot that existed.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      “My Mother the Car” libel.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That ties for second place with “Mister Ed.”

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Ohhhh, Wilburrrr.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Yeah, but Mister Ed actually served as a role model for what Dotard should do. He would never speak unless he had something worthwhile to say.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            And Mister Ed couldn’t Tweet – cause no fingers.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Finally got around to watching that a while back. It’s hard to figure out. There’s a killer cast and an interestingly weird premise, yet the whole is so very much less than the sum of its parts.

    • Doug Langley

      I always thought it was Scooby Doo. But forty years later and my students keep using it as the theme to their Flash multimedia projects, I finally concede defeat.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You are right to say that Scooby Doo was very, very stupid, but it was a cartoon, and not on TV during prime time, so I don’t count it in my Top 10 Stupidest TV Shows Ever.

      • Edith Prickly

        If we’re including stupid cartoons, I nominate Rocket Robin Hood: https://youtu.be/6MfisiGqtEM

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I used to think that “Dudley Do-Right” was the stupidest cartoon, but I watched a few reruns last year, and it’s not as stupid as I thought it was when I was 13. Yes, it’s stupid, but it is occasionally surprisingly funny, and whoever scored the music was very good.

          When I was 6 I thought “I Love Lucy” was too stupid for words, and I refused to watch it. I still think so.

          • SeeTrain65

            “WAAH, RICKY! TURNS OUT I WAS NEVER FUNNY!” – Crow T. Robot.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I’m just glad that a show exists where a Canadian saves the day. Someone needs to shoop a meme where Dotard is tying up Lady Liberty on the railroad tracks like Snidely Whiplash, and then along comes Justin, dressed as a Mountie and riding backwards on an antlered unicorn.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a1adf5dccc5c0fb4bb53c4e40d47de7dcd16aadc801fca4cdba44f8d823988f6.jpg

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I bet if you Tweet or Facebook that great idea, it will happen.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Dagnabbit, I thought I had that out of my head at long last, and here it is again.
          Thought to be fair, the later episodes directed by the strange and wonderful Ralph Bakshi were interestingly weird, even if the overall premise was still dumb as dirt.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I finally watched The A-Team as an adult. That’s all I have to say about that.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I watched a “Mary Tyler Moore Show” marathon a few years ago. I watched it obsessively when I was a teenager, and you know, it holds up pretty well after all these years.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I’m not a huge fan, but my wife watched it, and it isn’t bad. My parents loved Newhart, and I thought it was the worst thing on TV. I watched a few episodes recently, and it is hilarious.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            The casting on both shows was excellent, otherwise they would have been less successful then, and would not hold up at all today. Bob Newhart’s timing was GOLD.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Yeah. As a kid, timing really isn’t a thing. I just wondered why he was always hemming and hawing.

    • Kateaux

      I offer as a candidate a (thank the FSM very short-lived) game show from 1975 or thereabouts called “It Pays to be Ignorant”.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I missed that, thank goodness. I was living outside the country in 1975, so I also missed the debut season of SNL as well, which was a bad thing, but I got the DVD a few years ago, huzzah!

      • Dudleydidwrong

        “It Pays to be Ignorant” was a radio show well before it was on TV. On the radio it was an attempt at comedy and, as I remember it, didn’t make fun of anyone any more than the Keystone Cops or the Three Stooges did, shows that also dealt with a similar theme. I admit that I never saw the TV version, and I’m glad I missed it.

    • Raan

      Wrong. It is either Jersey Shore or anything with “Kardashian” in the title.

      I will fight anyone on this.

    • Amy!

      Celebrity Apprentice libel?

      No, naw, doesn’t even rise to that level, I guess.

    • Edith Prickly

      Remember when Fox thought they could out-funny the Daily Show? https://youtu.be/qXTwYBWUuZk

      • Three Finger Salute

        CBC even got mad aboot this atrocity because the title was too similar to their “This Hour Has 22 Minutes” — which, unlike anything resembling conservative “humor,” is actually pretty fuddle-duddlin’ funny.

    • Rags

      OK – let’s get in the Wayback Machine, Sherman. Wooooooooooo……..

      “How would you like to be…. Queen for a Day????!!!!!”

    • Begin Anew Day

      I have heard rumors that NBC also aired something called “The Yeoman” or “The Underling” or “The Lickspittle Scumcake”; something along those lines. The “plot” centered on some used car salesman bullying a bunch of fools into buying dilapidated, beat up piece of shit cars which they then drove in a dog-eat-dog demolition derby until they were all wrecked. Finally the survivors of this carnage kiss the elderly used car salesman’s warty, saggy old flabby ass in a ritualized orgy of humiliation and degradation until only one depraved contestant was left.

      This “winner” was allowed to work on the salesman’s car lot, cleaning windshields.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Some prosecuting attorneys are okay. A gaggle of lawyers were just doing some head shaking over a local (basically brand-new) prosecutor being given what is essentially a lifetime achievement award after, in the words of my prosecutor friend, “his tireless devotion to the public, lo these four years.”
    Me: “The IPAA (Idaho Prosecuting Attorneys Association) gave it to him. What does that say about you assholes?”
    Him: “That the rest of us (gestures to the other 4 prosecutors in the room) already got ours, so it was his turn.”

  • Ninja0980

    Why on earth did NBC think folks would watch to watch a woman who sucked up to racists, homophobes and sexist pigs?

    • Panika MCD

      maybe it’s like rehab?

    • OutOfOrbit

      they want that demographic

    • Joe Beese

      Are we sure that Megyn is tanking because of her previous work in the service of Evil and not because non-Fox people, having no idea who she is, simply find her an interchangeable tele-bimbo?

      • Candy Matson Y-28209

        Or Deep State interference!!!1!1!

      • It is the second bit methinks. Most people are like…who is this person? And where is that nice dark lady again?

      • Raan

        I thought it was because, unlike Fox News’ core demographic of old racists and laid-off racists, people who would watch NBC networks work during the day.

      • Begin Anew Day

        the second choice seems likely.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Yeah, it’s hard to believe the network that brought us Joey could so badly misjudge someone’s popularity.

      • snick.
        The network that managed to lose Star Trek also, too! Because surely that was going to die off.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I wonder if it was even about “really bad ratings” or the hicks pitching a tantrum about Uhuragate. Could have been BOT,K, because losing a yuge mass of Southern affiliates can’t have been good for “ratings.” Especially during that era.

        • theCryptofishist

          Is anyone from that time still working at NBC?

    • SayItWithWookies

      That shouldn’t be a reflection on her journalistic ethics — she just did that for the money!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    I never watch anything on NBC. I do watch Rachel and Lawrence on MSNBC. Other than that I don’t give them my eyeballs. If they gave Joy a show at, say, 5 & 7 p.m., I’d watch that.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Those two shows plus Sunday Night Football cover it, though I may give the new Will and Grace a try (I wasn’t so impressed by the opener but I am hoping they warm up as the season goes along.) But Megyn’s show?

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d179e0dab30a0fa28f96bfa81dfe6bd3bb0d073159bc831b6d8197374b51595.jpg

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        OH, I did forget about SNL. When I get home from work in time I watch that. (I haven’t gotten the hang of that DVR thingy yet. Usually remember I want to record something about an hour after I leave the house.)

        • theCryptofishist

          Ah, in almost no time, you’ll be able to program your DVR from your phone.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      C’ya, Jerkhead.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Does any Dem have a chance in his district?

      • PA, so there is a chance. Prolly not a big one, however.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Donald won it by double digits. It’s not Pittsburgh, it’s Western PA, which I learned last year is a very different place from my hometown FFS.

        • ltmcdies

          so basically if it’s white and slithers along the ground with an R by it’s name, good chance of a GOP win.

          • Naw all you gotta do is yell about coal jobs.
            Never mind most the coal mines in PA are deader than Norwegian Blues.

        • Ah fuck, Pennsyltucky? NM then, slim to none

      • HazooToo

        I long for the days when I could have been sure of that.

    • Edith Prickly

      WALK OF SHAME.

    • SeeTrain65

      “So long, Mom. Shannon dropped the bomb.”

    • ariel_gee_398

      Is he retiring to spend some more time with his mistress?

  • Doug Langley

    Okay, remember the community college? Got an invite to an adjunct training seminar next week. I signed up. Way more fun than filing files and actually pays more. Yep, will get some money from the school for a change.

    Work is interesting. Me and the other temp seemed to be at an impasse with shifting files around to make space. Boss was grumpy. After lunch, we whacked at it and solved it. Yay. Now boss is nice and even cracking jokes. Hypothesis tested: she freaks out if things start getting tough.

    • It is comforting to know you have a boss who does not handle minor crises well.

      • Doug Langley

        Let alone major ones.

    • Rags

      Congrats – if you do do the adjunct thing, asap get your college to train/certify you (whatever works in yr state) for online teaching. You can than shop your skills nationally and run 2 or 3 online courses, do a good job, and get decent/almost liveable bank.

      • Doug Langley

        “Certify you for online teaching”??????????? It’s just a get-together to practice on the LMS and toss around inspiring platitudes.

        • Rags

          Just looking ahead……

  • alpacapunchbowl

    My sis up in Wisconsin just found out her food share benefits have been cut by 90 bucks a month. Mind, she and her husband both work, and still need to collect benefits to get by. Oh, and her kids, one of whom jus turned one? Now that you’ve been borned, fuck you, kids!
    Fuck you, you fucking derpy disgusting piece of shit twunt, Scott Walker. FUCK YOU.

    • ltmcdies

      you know…Scott Walker…pro life means being pro food

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      Oh, that’s hard. I’m sorry.

      They cut mine by 55% when I moved to this safer neighborhood cos rent and bils are slightly lower.

      • Makes sense. Move to a safer and slightly cheaper neighborhood, lose benefits
        *rage punches some vote bags*

        • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

          Yeah. What’s dumb is they took money out of the economy. Instead of buying more clothes, shoes, etc, I have to buy more non-taxed food. But, it’s part of why I eat mostly-Vegetarian now, and I’m losing weight and feel healthier.

          I spent my Halloween money on the tank model stuffs, I think it’s better all around.

          • Ain’t healthier food more expensive however?

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            It is Up Here.

          • h4rr4r

            Around here the farmers market doubles your food stamp money.

          • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

            No, I buy dried beans, potatoes, pasta, rice, and veggies. It’s meats and processed foods that are more expensive. I watch for sales on milk and butter, and I eat lots of Oatmeal and biscuits I make from scratch.

    • That is the welfare reform lie I want to combat the hardest. “If you get food stamps, you should work!!!!”
      THEY DO FUCKING WORK! THEY WORK A FUCKING LOT! THEY ARE JUST ASKING TO NOT STARVE!

      • h4rr4r

        This is just one of many problems I have with welfare. Working people should be paid enough to not need it. Why are we subsidizing their employer?

        Also too, just give them cash. Let them spend it as they like.

        • So many times this.
          But the wage debate is an aside. That they are working and STILL unable to feed themselves let alone attempt to rise up means we give them fucking money to fucking eat like a fucking actual 1st world country who claims to be Christian would fucking do.

          • h4rr4r

            WIC is the worst. It is like they make it a degrading PITA on purpose.

      • Lord Jim

        You know what my problem is? What job will unemployed SNAP beneficiaries get that will pay a living wage amd will provide a humane workplace? It’s just a way for Republicans to forcibly provide labor for reichwing assholes like John “Papa John’s” Schnatter.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      I have several co-workers (nearly all of them, in fact) who get benefits. This town is cheaper than the big city but there’s no public transportation of any kind, so they have to have cars, and that means insurance; if they lost $90/month of their food stamps their kids would be hungry, no two ways about it.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “Well, the kids could get small, and then they’d be easier to eat. Like chocolate-covered bullets.” -John Thune (R-Institute for the Criminally Insane)

        “You moron. Don’t you recognize satire????” -Jonathan Swift, who was actually swift while Republicans are slooooow.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Fortunately they live near my mum and she has them over for Sunday dinners and always sends them home with tons of food. No way in hell AlpacaMum will let them go hungry, but if not for that, I know for a fact my sis would borderline starve to keep her kids healthy. I barely make it from paycheck to paycheck so there’s only a little I can do to help.
        So much rage oozing out of every pore on my body.

    • Begin Anew Day

      May Cthulhu smite Scott Walker with boils upon his tiny pecker!

      • theCryptofishist

        And eat him last.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          And slooooowly. From the toes up.

  • SeeTrain65

    No wonder “Original Thoughts with Brian Kilmeade” never got started.

    • Me not sure

      Just saw where Fox is going to expand “Fox And Friends” to five hours. Brian will be to busy not knowing shit to take on any more.

      • Lol. That seems a move of utter desperation XD

        • Me not sure

          They’re dropping hosts faster than Trump Cabinet Secretaries.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        Well, Buster Friendly and His Friendly Friends aired 24/7 and I’m pretty sure that’s what they are basing their show on.

  • MamaBrown

    “She’s built up some genuine good will inside the building”, huh? That means she says hello to the person who sweeps the lobby and empties the trash. He thinks she’s a nice little thing.

    • OutOfOrbit

      mebbee she’s shopping her vajayjay around the bldg

      • theCryptofishist

        Crossing and uncrossing her legs?

    • Joe Beese

      Hey, by Republican standards, that does make her Oprah.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • SeeTrain65

      Details, details …

    • HazooToo

      I honestly do not even know what her deal is. Does she want to fuck him or kill him or eat him? And in what order? I have no idea what her motivations are, only that she’s completely fucking incapable of seeing the part she and the media played in causing, excusing, and normalizing EVERY FUCKING THING that has happened from the beginning of the election until now. Even this “detail” bullshit… Sure, bitch. Make it sound totally fucking normal.

      • NYTimes is basically GOP in print.
        They pretend they are all lofty and immune and toss a story here and there for the liberals but yeah.
        She is doing as bid and I would bet ameros on that.

      • spangled

        like a lot of formerly decent people (COUGH Bernie, my former fave senator), she’s gotten real weird now that she’s kinda famous.

        i didn’t know her or glen thrush’s name last year, but because they have all this “access” to trump, their clout and social media following has exploded and they have a huge book deal. the trump presidency is great for them.

        • ltmcdies

          I’ll be working on my 4th re read of What Happened.

          don’t think I’ll get anything HabThrush has to offer.

          also…HabThrush…good name for a yeast infection

        • HazooToo

          I honestly wouldn’t give one hot watery shit about either of them if there were some form of mainstream media that WASN’T flat out ignoring Hillary voters, scratching for Presidential Pivots, and trying to bury all their articles about EMAILS!!! in the backyard.

    • ltmcdies

      Is she actually worst than Maureen Dowd….she seems worse.

      • Candy Matson Y-28209

        Well I wouldn’t want to get high with either one of them

      • MoDo in training?

    • Maggie, you are incredibly bad at your job. Just thought you should know that.

    • SeeTrain65

      She didn’t want to offend the administration. They might call them the “Failing New York Times” again.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Watching NBC and the other moldy network broadcasters flailing around is entertainment by itself (if your definition of the word “entertainment” involves sick people rolling out of their sickbeds down to the hard linoleum floor, pulling their IV tubes free, vomiting blood and finally expiring as they claw for the nurse call button.)

  • BreakingDeadMen

    I hope people learn from this. You can leave Fox, but the stench will never leave. If you hire an expatriate from there, know that their viewers won’t follow them and that mainstream audiences will be skeptical. I hope Kelly is investing wisely, cause her next contract will be a lot lighter.

    • HazooToo

      That is why the 9th Doctor left Doctor Who so soon, or so I have read. He was worried about just being “The Doctor” for the rest of his career. You can see how well that worked out, people still call him #9. This is a more flattering thing to be known for, but it’s the same thing. Christopher Eccleston is The Doctor, and Megyn Kelly is That Racist From Fox Who Said Santa Was Just White.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Mr Eccleston shouldn’t feel too bad. Megyn will always be known as #2.

        • Doug Langley

          Who is Number 1?

          • Zombishroom

            I am not a number. I am a free man!

          • Doug Langley

            I am not a number! I am a free man!!

          • Three Finger Salute

            Liquid Gold Donnie, of course.

      • dave.lefevre

        Well it didn’t help that she practically fellated Alex Jones on air in one of her first NBC interviews. It wasn’t exactly a positive move for those that want to see that she is sane.

        • HazooToo

          I hope she enjoyed being bombarded with crap by his followers after he tried to claim she deliberately set him up, because that’s the only thing she got out of it. Literally none of that interview was worth a damn.

      • Edith Prickly

        Eccleston’s early departure worked out pretty well for David Tennant’s career. It’s really not a bad thing to be a former Doctor.

        • HazooToo

          Yes, and Tennant was fucking spectacular. Best Doctor.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Dear Dems,

    Do. Not. Let. This. Go.

    Thanks,

    Loyal Americans and Decent People Worldwide

    https://twitter.com/tedlieu/status/915396335213441024

    https://twitter.com/JuddLegum/status/915393934779613189

  • jesterpunk
    • SeeTrain65

      “Those things are expensive”

      And Paddock was a multi-millionaire. Next …

      (And Cabela’s is scum.)

      • jesterpunk

        They where $90- $300 online.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Shut them down. NOW.

  • Joe Beese

    RedState asks “Well, do you want to live in North Korea? Do you??”

    In a place like North Korea, we may not hear much of mass shootings at country music concerts, but the North Korean people aren’t free to enjoy country music concerts or travel or prosperity. They sacrifice freedom for “safety”. The cost of that safety was to relinquish control of everything to one entity that in turn uses that power to deny the basic human rights of its citizens. This is the natural end result when the people allow their government to prioritize safety over freedom.

    • msanthropesmr

      Yeah, but the Gulags are nice this time of year.

    • h4rr4r

      So then the only two possible options are USA and North Korea?

      • msanthropesmr

        There is nowhere else.

      • Joe Beese

        Yes. Shut up.

      • dave.lefevre

        No! We make all our decision via fallacy. USA USA USA!

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Because there isn’t a middle ground, like say, every other developed country. It is mass shootings or dictatorship. The Republican binary thought process in all its glory.

    • Huh. So we shouldn’t bar outdoor concerts to stop the gun violence? Maybe…just maybe…we should not allow reg civilians to have high powered weapons with which to rain down death from above instead?

    • jesterpunk

      What about Somalia? They have no functioning government and no gun regulations.

      • Three Finger Salute

        But too many blah Muslim people so, not a good model that Republicans want to follow.

      • Suttree

        A libertarian’s wet dream. I wish they would emigrate.

    • Nut the DPRK makes the accordions run on time!

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      They sacrifice freedom for “safety”.

      I doubt many North Koreans have much of a sense of what that even means.

      Stupid fucking Red State assholes.

    • altleftjohn

      And what about my right to drive my Maserati as fast as I can in a school zone?

    • Red State does understand that the North Korean people have like…no safety at all…right? Not much food neither

    • North Korean people aren’t free to enjoy country music concerts

      Not quite the Dixie Chicks, but they do have “music concerts” in the “country”…
      https://youtu.be/8nGdTg_47v0

      Moranbong?
      https://youtu.be/u2tPm7QNgBA

      • Suttree

        And isn’t dear leader’s wife a pop star?

    • TootsStansbury

      Are they trying to say the right to possess a firearm is more than the freedom of assembly? Sounds like it.

      • Three Finger Salute

        No, it’s the same thing. The right to assemble a firearm.

    • SeeTrain65

      Question, RedState:

      If that’s so, why do you guys want this so much?

    • dave.lefevre

      Because there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING between being in NRA corporate-ruled country and a North Korean communist hell. The USA is the land of the False Dichotomy argument and the home of Strawman.

    • Raan
    • SayItWithWookies

      At least the good people of North Korea didn’t vote their jackbooted oppressor into office. What excuse do we have?

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Republican politicians frequently justify some policy or another in the name of safety or saving lives. Banning Muslims, for example. Or deporting Dreamers. Or racial profiling. Or blocking prescription drugs from Canada. Or TRAP laws to shutdown abortion clinics.

      But never for guns.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Why is the immediate go-to argument against muh soshulizms always some extreme outlier iron-fisted dictatorship like North Korea or the USSR, and not peaceful social democracies like Scandinavia or our mortal enemy Canada? Do these morans know that Sweden is actually a constitutional monarchy with a social-democratic parliamentary government, and that Justin Trudeau is not the illegitimate son of Fidel Castro? (Who himself wasn’t even the demonic boogeyman that the red-baiters made him out to be?)

      Wait — forget I asked. They’re Republicans. No shit they don’t “think”.

  • msanthropesmr

    How’s everybody’s Russian Today?

    • Prevyet! Kak vi poshiviete?

      • Doug Langley

        “Pervert!!” SLAP

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Eees gud, moar wodka, better.

      • tu goverish po-ruskiya? horosho!

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Enuf wodka speak whatever you vant.

          • true fact: The russian language has the V sound but not the W so Chekov’s accent was all bassakward.
            About all I know really, besides the ever important :
            Moi bog! Vi Topor ets golova!

          • Maggielle

            I always liked thinking about the letter that sounds like middle part of the phrase “cottage cheese” – you know, like dgehzsheh – but I forget what the letter looks like.

          • Amy!

            Щ щ

            Unless you mean the one that sounds like ‘zh’: Ж ж

      • thank-you-thing
        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          *swoon*

          • Suttree

            Hell yes!

    • Joe Beese

      White, thanks.

    • Not Flat – ROUND!

      He is fine, thanks for asking.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Out washing the sidewalks.

    • Raan

      Last I checked, he was losing one of his chainguns in a poker game.

    • Anna Elizabeth Tank Grrl

      Sozuz Sovietskivitch Sozialistic Respublik.

      That’s almost a third of my Russkiya.

    • TootsStansbury

      La plume de ma tante.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Funny, I dreamt about an ex this morning. She was drunk, and was yelling at my wife that “Your Ronald Reagan is LIAR! He says Russian has no word for “freedom”! Is big lie! We have such word; that word is called “svoboda.” SVO-BO-DA!”

      Nearly 20 years, and that recurring speech is still pounded into my memory, evidently.

    • Amy!

      Mine was fine, up until I read some of the stuff replying to your non-comment. Now I’m gonna go get some vodka and pickles and drink to forget.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Don’t forget the pickled tomatoes.

        • Amy!

          Huh. Never had those. But I was there at a time when everybody was scrambling for food, so not too surprising, maybe.

          • Suttree

            Vodka and pickles are two great tastes that taste great together. And I know it’s an old trope, but I have run out of mixers before and used pickle juice.

          • Amy!

            Oh, yes. Also the preferred Russian hangover remedy (pickle juice, I mean, although also vodka, for the hardcore). Or caviar, where I was most of the time, because it was cheap (I brought home a liter of black caviar, most of which went bad before it got eaten; didn’t think anything of it because I wasn’t aware it was worth as much as my tuition for a semester). But I’ve never encountered pickled tomatoes; sounds interesting.

          • Suttree

            I had caviar once. My father brought some back on his way home from Russia. The price tag was in Euros though. Also too canned foie gras. I got drunk and ate it all. I seared the foie gras though.

    • Panika MCD
    • Panika MCD
      • Suttree

        Magic pixie dream girl!

    • Suttree

      Tres bien.

    • SeeTrain65

      Parfait, monsieur.

      Oh, shit …

    • Cat Cafe

      Desinformatsiya
      That’s the most useful Russian word for me today and every day.

  • Joe Beese
  • Major_Major_Major

    Real Analysis and Political Exploration for You (RAPEY) hosted by Brian Kilmeade bonus Analysis Special Segment (ASS) with Steve Doocey

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Another beautiful day in the paradise that is the United States, I see.

    • Guns, Gods, Beer and GLORY

      • Not Flat – ROUND!

        They were going to go with that, but changed it to FOX instead.

      • Panika MCD

        FOOOBAW!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        What about Croquet, Agnosticism, Wine and MILD APPRECIATION?

        • Cawm? What kinda movement are you trying for there?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, acronyms have never been my strong suit.

          • data_ninja

            Keep Cawm and Cawwy On.

    • Khavrinen
  • LadyLaz

    I am starting to dispair

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • SeeTrain65

      “I’m not hugging any of those people. This is a $90 suit from Men’s Warehouse!”

      • Suttree

        “And they might break the scotch tape loose from my tie.”

      • h4rr4r

        The sad part is his suits are expensive and he likes them cut that way.

        • Likes they cut that way/was convinced by his suit maker that it makes him look good because he is a fool, tomayto/tomahto

          • h4rr4r