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Lover of Moron.

Rex Tillerson awakened Wednesday morning to FAKE NEWS exclusively reported by NBC, what said he threatened to quit being Donald Trump’s Secretary of State, and more importantly, that he called Trump a “moron.” So goddangit, he had to do a press conference and let everybody know the truth! He loves the president like a common Anthony Scaramucci, and they are very happy together! Tillerson DID NOT deny calling Donald Trump a “moron,” though, or even an “effing moron,” which is what MSNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle said SHE HEARD was the full quote.

Now, did the Trump White House leak this FAKE NEWS to NBC themselves, maybe because Trump looks like A Idiot right now after his weak and sad performance in Puerto Rico, and now that Trump is getting off AIR-PANE! in Las Vegas to tell grieving mass shooting victims about his Electoral College victory and throw paper towels at their heads? Who can say!

Regardless, Tillerson went out and kissed Trump RIGHT ON HIS ASS, saying how smart and good-looking the president is, and also insisting he NEVER “considered” quitting. He didn’t deny ever threatening it, though, and again, he did not deny calling Trump a “moron” or a “fucking moron” or “President Fuck-Bonkers” or “TinyHands McPussGrab.” (Wonkette may have added those last two naughty names.)

CNN reports:

“He loves this country. He puts Americans and America First. He’s smart,” Tillerson said in a hastily arranged statement from the State Department. “He demands results wherever he goes and he holds those around him accountable.” […]

“The vice president has never had to persuade me to remain as secretary of state because I have never considered leaving this post,” he said.

Uh huh, and did you do name-calling to the president?

“The places I come from, we don’t deal with that kind of petty nonsense.” Tillerson said. “I’m just not going to be part of this effort to divide this administration.”

Rex Tillerson comes from Exxon and Texas and the Boy Scouts, where you never confirm or deny whether you called the out-of-his-league leader of America a “moron” or a “dipshit” or a “ginormous pervy waste of space who can’t even read, allegedly.” It’s just not polite!

When it was announced that Tillerson would be making impromptu remarks, there was speculation that maybe he would resign. But then Trump kind of threw a bucket of Russian pee on that speculation with this tweet, which suggested he wasn’t about to “YOU’RE FIRED!” Tillerson:

Whatever, champ.

After Tillerson’s presser, Trump again squatted on his gold-plated toilet and pinched off a tweet:

Except for the part about how Trump is a fucking M-O-R-O-N and Rex Tillerson knows it.

NBC stands by its reporting, and an MSNBC reporter said the network “would not be issuing an apology to America” for telling everybody this very good and true gossip the Secretary of State pointedly did not deny. So, the choice is yours, America: Who you gonna believe? The pathological liar moron president or literally everyone else?

OH GOLLY THIS IS A HARD ONE.

Anyway, Tillerson’s still out by the end of the year. Bet your ass on it.

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[CNN]

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