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Wouldn’t want to be impolite.

You guys, we want you to be gentle with UN Ambassador Nikki Haley for two reasons today, unless you feel like telling her to fuck off, which is of course your right. One is that she is mourning her hero, Tom Petty:

Thoughts ‘n’ prayers, Ambassador Haley, for real.

The other thing we want you to be gentle about (unless you don’t feel like it) is jumping to conclusions about Haley leading the U.S. delegation in voting “no” on a resolution at the United Nations condemning the use of the death penalty in discriminatory ways, including against those caught gay-sexing. Luckily, our side lost! But while 27 apparently more civilized nations voted for the resolution, our nation was joined by 13 fellow lovers of freedom like Saudi Arabia, China, Iraq, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates and fellow death-penalty lover Japan (YUP) in saying “NO WAY JOSE” to the resolution, which states that the death penalty is torture and a violation of human rights, and that it’s disproportionately used against the poor and political dissidents. The resolution further condemns the use of the death penalty against the mentally ill, and against those caught in the acts of “apostasy, blasphemy, adultery and consensual same-sex relations.” Also too, it notes that usually when someone gets the death penalty for adultery, “someone” is usually a woman.

We see you out there jumping to conclusions, even though we just said not to!

You are saying, “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK, THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION AND NIKKI FUCKING HALEY CAN’T BRING THEMSELVES TO CONDEMN THIS? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM? HOW THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO BE ONE OF 13 NATIONS THAT SIDES WITH THE WORST HUMAN RIGHTS ABUSERS ON THE GLOBE, PLUS FOR SOME REASON JAPAN?”

Cool it, you bleeding hearts, OK?

First of all, America did support two amendments to the resolution, both put forth by the Trump administration’s best friend Mother Russia, that said the death penalty wasn’t automatically a human rights violation or torture. Oh wait, our bad, that is not helping our case for Be Gentle With Nikki Haley.

Buzzfeed explains that it’s really not that the Trump administration thinks it’s OK to kill gays or stone adulteresses. It’s just that AMERICA loves killing PEOPLE, in general, which means we can’t sign on to some pantywaist gay free-love resolution that says it’s not OK for a government to murder its citizens. Back in the good old days of Obama, we weren’t signing on to resolutions like this either:

… [T]he resolution likely would not have seen a different vote from the UN under previous administrations. Though it lacked the portion highlighting LGBT rights, in 2014 the Obama administration abstained on a resolution at the Human Rights Council.

“International law does not prohibit capital punishment when imposed and carried out in a manner that is consistent with a state’s international obligations,” Ambassador Keith Harper said at the time. We therefore urge all governments that employ the death penalty to do so in conformity with their international human rights obligations.”

See? You are not mad at Nikki Haley anymore. (OK, maybe you are.) It’s more that you’re enraged at America overall, for being one of the only pigheaded first world nations that still refuses to give up its love affair with state-sanctioned killing.

Paste Magazine further notes that “our good pal” Saudi Arabia was very mad about this resolution, which leads us to ask whether America would be acting in Saudi Arabia’s best interests if we publicly condemned that nation’s little habit of executing gay folk and transgender folk. Doesn’t sound like BFF behavior to us. (ESPECIALLY not after Saudi Arabia let Donald Trump play with their big glowy magic orb ball!)

Buzzfeed reports that Nikki Haley’s Team America Fuck Yeah hasn’t explained why it didn’t support this resolution, and that it’s “not clear” they even tried to half-assed-ly append a statement to their “no” vote affirming that the U.S. still supports human rights. (Why would they? Secretary of State Rex Tillerson has clearly stated that supporting human rights abroad is a TOTAL boner killer.)

Anyway, so do you libtard Alinsky lovers get it now? The Trump regime isn’t endorsing killing gays or adulterous slut ladies, it’s just continuing to endorse ALL THE KILLING IN GENERAL.

Situation normal! (All fucked up.)

If you didn’t catch on to the LOL sarcasm in this post, what a silly boy you are. OF COURSE we should be outraged that this is still the status quo in America, and OF COURSE we should be furious that the Trump regime is helping to perpetuate it, not that we expected any better from them.

And it goes without saying, but OF COURSE you are free to tell Nikki Haley to fuck right off. Just don’t do it while she’s listening to Tom Petty, because she’s grieving, OK?

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[U.N. resolution / Buzzfeed / Paste]

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  • jesterpunk
    • GoutMachine

      He was just jealous and hoping he could turn the U.S. into one of those regimes.

    • memzilla Ω

      Jesus, there really is always a Trump tweet for that.

      • jesterpunk

        It’s actually worse then that, there are multiple tweets for everything so picking just one is really hard.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      I can’t help but notice that’s only 27k likes, which I’m guessing is his actual, non-bot audience.

      Which means that a group of people took the time to make 100,000 fake twitter bots in order to make him feel more popular. What a time to be alive.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Mmmkay there, Orb Boy.

  • wait! what?

    Nikki would have to pick the Petty song that was in “Silence of the Lambs.”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, we know Jeffbo doesn’t like “Last Dance With Mary Jane.”

      • wait! what?

        If everyone would just dance with Mary Jane just once we’d all be better off.

        • Three Finger Salute

          And that’s why it’ll remain illegal. Can you imagine all the innocent preborn profits that would get aborted if America actually supported peace? Jesus wouldn’t want that! It’s unpatriotic!

          • OrG

            Um…. it’s legal here.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Not federally. And Jeffbo has been rattling his sabers about sending Johnny Reb after the legal states. Until it’s legal at the federal level, you still should be looking over your shoulder depending on who’s in charge in D.C.

            Unless, of course, you yourself are in Canada in which case disregard all of this because it’s (almost) 2018.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        {cough} That’s my favorite.

  • Three Finger Salute

    first

    Youtube is wrong, Mary Pickford was Canadian!

  • armed_bears

    How bad must the stuff be they are hiding if they feel comfortable doing this shit out in the open?

    • Toledo Window Box

      AWESOME QUESTION.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Apparently you can stand her up at the gates of hell and she won’t back down.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    But we murder people only after a trial, which the damn Supreme Court used to say had to be fair, or at least not be too blatantly unfair, so we’re actually holding back on murdering all the people some of us want the government to murder… And as for those not all that infrequent oopsie capital convictions, that’s just the price of freedom.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Fact: The death penalty deters crimes like mass shootings.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well, only for the person you execute.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Yes, but only if you travel back in time and execute the shooter before he does the shooting.

      • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

        Preemptively.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          But then you have to shoot the person who shot the shooter.

          Infinite regression!

    • tomamitai

      Yeah, I’m sure that if swift execution was a certainty, the guy in Vegas would have been deterred from shooting all those people and himself.

    • Eo Raptor

      I am never sure when somebody’s being sarcastic, except when they use the /s tag. Not a single shred of evidence exists that the death penalty deters any damn thing at all.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Oh please. I’ve been wishing, hoping, and praying that Nikki would fuck the entire fuck off for years now. Today is just another day ending in -y.

  • Crystalclear12

    Are we great yet?
    ‘Cause I’m really tired and would like to be done now.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    UM…I’m not a fan of the death penalty, but if I were, I would point out that there is a difference between supporting it as a just punishment for people like mass murderers and consenting adults making love FFS…

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3wuex3KI71ro7f7oo1_500.gif

    • Three Finger Salute

      But Jesus and Allah! Won’t someone PLEASE think of Jesus and Allah?!?!?

      • ButtercuptheHarelessRabbit

        Why? Are they having consensual sex?

        • Three Finger Salute

          No, but I think Jesus tried to take a selfie with Allah and it gave his boy Mo a sad.

      • GoutMachine

        Death penalty is more of a Jehovah move. Jesus was against it, judging from his defense of a woman accused of adultery (a capital crime).

        • Three Finger Salute

          Oh, I know that. But don’t tell the GOP. They’re still waiting on their Hitler Jesus to come home from college and kill all the Jews squatting at dad’s house where Bibi lives.

        • Changeling

          That story was added later, it’s not from the time the text was written. Fan fic! But the writer at least had the impression he’d be against it.

          • GoutMachine

            Oh, it’s all probably hooey, but I like throwing the bibble in the faces of those who ostensibly should have read it.

    • jesterpunk

      Why do we even need the death penalty? We have enough guns and congress wants to allow silencers and armor piercing rounds for everyone.

      • GoutMachine

        Yeah, but they’re not killing enough blahs.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Geeze Japan, you are better than that.

    Not Murcia, though. US, go stand in the corner.

    • bbayliss

      America REALLY needs a time out.

    • Crystalclear12

      Fine.
      Hold my beer.

    • DesertedPictures

      Japan doesn’t have the best track record for dealing with prisoners… I like the country; but I’m not that surprised by this vote.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I think deep down, they’re ashamed that yaoi exists. Unfortunate consequence of being in contact with uncivilized savage cultures like the United States.

  • whitroth

    I will point out that it *used* to be the punishment for treason here in the US to face a firing squad.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      There aren’t but a dozen or so traitors running loose here these days…

      • OrG

        Give or take.

    • Toledo Window Box

      It’s time to bring it back. Conspiring with our enemy to steal a Presidential election, then grossly and obviously covering it all up?

      If there was ever a case for the firing squad, this is it.

  • Suttree

    You would think that people in the Turnip administration would be worried about the death penalty. That is what may be applied for treason.

    • Toledo Window Box

      After what Trump did, it certainly applies.

  • DesertedPictures

    Yeah… can I just be mad at the Obama administration in retrospect? No Joke. This is foreign policy; he could have just done it. There would have been hell to pay; but it would have been a brave stand against the death penalty.

    • clubseal

      Obama’s foreign policy, when it came to death dealing, wasn’t much different than Bush’s, other than much of it occurred in a more secretive way. Those Yemenis weren’t going to kill themselves with drones, after all.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I don’t think Tom Petty would care for the praise from Nikki Haley: http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/tom-petty-tells-michele-bachmann-to-stop-playing-american-girl-20110628
    He also didn’t much care for the confederate flag: https://twitter.com/ShaunKing/status/915117120421289984

  • Mavenmaven

    Let’s be honest, we are now led by a “royal family” just like the gulf states.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Too bad it’s not Wills, Harry and their grandma.

      • @MrsRazor66

        Can we sign a petition asking the UK to take us back?

        • Grumpy Twat

          Don’t forget Prince Andrew and Fergie come as part of that package.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – the 20 week ban passed the House about half an hour ago.

    • GoutMachine

      Fuck everyone who voted for this shitshow. Only saving grace – it’s DOA in the Senate.

      • Toledo Window Box

        If it wasn’t, they wouldn’t dare have passed it in the House, just like health care “reform”.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Yeah, but they’ll cut ads saying the Dems want to KILL BABBIES!
        (Never mind that gutting Medicaid and killing CHIP will do much worse.)

    • DesertedPictures

      After Vegas they had to do something. With this new infusion of morals in the USA the deathtoll from mass shootings is bound to go down!

      • wait! what?

        But I don’t want to have to say the pledge of allegiance at work everyday…

        • DesertedPictures

          What are you? A communist?

          But fine: just stand everyday for the national anthem. And you will be fine.

        • Suttree

          I was watching the news today at the dentists office and they said that some local bars (NYC) will give you a free drink if you stand for the national anthem when it plays on the tv for sportsball games.

          • willi0000000

            i was standing! . . . along the floor.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I find it interesting that all of the Dems who actually represent Vegas were absent. The one Republican, who represents the northern half of the state, was present and voted in favor.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Well, thank Maude that they’re doing something against this epidemic of mass shootings!

      • Eileen Besse

        ISWYDT….

    • Manders

      Oooof course it did. That clown show.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Nothing more internally consistent than claiming you can’t legislate a constitutional right, while legislating another constitutional right.

    • They’re pro-life, just don’t ask them to do anything about guns… or feeding hungry kids… or providing healthcare to people… or opposing the death penalty… or stopping our continuous state of war.

      But they’re pro-life!

      • SDGeoff3

        Pro-fetus.

        • willi0000000

          not really . . . just pro forced-birth . . . and slut shaming, of course.

      • Ill-Advised

        And against actual living.

        Living is just too messy with All those shades of gray ( way more than fifty). Make it all black-and-white and keep it simple!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      233-187. 1 Democratic congressman (Dan Lipinski from Illinois) voted with the majority. 13 Reps (7 Republicans and 6 Dems) did not vote.

    • ariel_gee_398
    • TakingAmes

      Of course it did. Bless their fucking hearts also too.

  • James Baskin

    The list of those voting ‘No’ says it all.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “Some of my dead friends are gay people.”

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    “Your Earth people glorify organized violence for forty centuries, but you imprison those who employ it privately.” – Spock

  • Japan? Seriously, Japan? I thought you guys were into all sorts of freaky sex shit. What happened, man? You used to be cool…

    • DesertedPictures

      Nah… said it below. Japan is not as nice when it comes to treating prisoners. They don’t even tell the people they execute the day day are going to be murdered. They find out on the day they will die!

      • WWII showed the world how barbaric the Japanese were even before the war. Nanking. This is not directed at Japanese-American citizens.

    • GoutMachine

      They hang people. Only inform them the morning of their execution, and only tell their families after it’s done.

      http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7132123.stm

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Japan’s still pretty conservative in a lot of ways; the expansionist clique that ran it into WW2 and thence into the ground didn’t pop out of nowhere.

    • chazmanr

      Japan still requires that the interesting bits be pixelated in their porn. What is cool about that? I like actual porn in my porn, thank you.

  • Toledo Window Box

    Welcome to the American kleptocracy, courtesy of Jim Comey and Vladimir Putin.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Is there anyone in the Trump Admin who isn’t a fucking asshat?

    • James Baskin

      I thinkin…………………………………………………… um No.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Barron.

      That’s it.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        That poor kid.

        • chazmanr

          He would turn out to be a better person if he really were a “poor” kid.

      • Red Bird

        Give him time.

    • jesterpunk

      The groundskeeper and kitchen staff?

      • Suttree

        Pssst. Kitchen staff, you know what you have to do.

        • Grind that crystal real fine.

          • shastakoala

            I was thinking a special chocolate cake.

        • Eileen Besse

          THIS.

    • SDGeoff3

      I’m waiting for memoirs from the current White House staff.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I would have said the guy running the VA…until he got caught up in his own travel scandal.

    • kareemachan

      People who were hired by Obama administration?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Short answer: No. Long answer: Fuck, no!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      no

    • chazmanr

      There might have been at one time, but asshattery is very contagious. Look how it has spread throughout the south.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Her other favorite song is, You DO have to live like a refugee.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Fake news. Republicans don’t want refugees to live.

    • chazmanr

      But NOT FUCKING HERE!

  • TakingAmes

    Well bless her fucking heart. She should fuck right off, also too.

  • SDGeoff3

    The embarrassment grows.

  • clubseal

    I’d argue that it doesn’t have so much to do with our country’s love of killing people (although that obviously exists) so much as its hatred of being held accountable for anything, ever.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Yup. That’s why so much opposition to the bill to sue Saudi for 9/11. It would open the door to other countries to sue America for terrorist actions against them.

    • ltmcdies

      Ding ding ding ding ding … I thinks yer on to something

  • alpacapunchbowl

    When the pictorial history of this administration is eventually compiled and published, it will become one of those urban legends that also happens to be true: “Whatever you do, do NOT read that book while you’re on acid, man…”

    • Thiazin Red

      I really hope that when people watch future documentaries they’re horrified.

      • Suttree

        I’m horrified right now!

        • chazmanr

          I am watching Ken Burns “Vietnam” to make me less depressed about current events. It is almost uplifting by comparison.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I keep telling myself, “we got through the late 60s-early 70s, we’ll get through this”

          • Ill-Advised

            Sounds like what I kept telling myself at the time. Unfortunately, there was always more “this.” “This” seems to have an unfortunate relationship to “now.” END THIS NOW!

          • C4TWOMAN

            I had a similar experience watching Hitler documentaries.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Why wait?

    • chazmanr

      Books you should read while on acid:
      Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas
      Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72
      On the Road

      • Eileen Besse

        Done. …and I am NOT kidding. I’m 64, just for reference….

    • C4TWOMAN

      “When the pictorial history of this administration is eventually compiled and published…”

      In 125 volumes. And that’s the abridged version.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        It’ll go down in Guinness as history’s largest PDF file.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Available at the low, low price of $20 per volume! Don’t delay! Limited run publication! Very rare!

      • Grumpy Twat

        “In 125 volumes,”
        To be delivered by a flotilla of Amazon drones with The Ride of The Valkyries as the soundtrack.

  • clairence

    the vote was against globalism, I’m sure. America first means we don’t have to adhere to or even recognize international law (unless we’re telling someone else what to do).

    • Suttree

      We have never signed on to the ICC. But we sure don’t mind when other people go there.

    • Three Finger Salute

      America First means America Only because America would rather that no other countries exist — except if they have resources there for us to siphon.

      • Eileen Besse

        Well, taking over shit is how we got started, so….

  • Blackest Noobs

    i honestly don’t see why anyone think Nikki is awesome ESPECIALLY liberals.

    like what the fuck has Nikki done that’s been good?

    and don’t get on about her bringing down the Loser Confederate flag….she didn’t do that for any noble reason.

    seriously, fuck her, fuck her for this, fuck her for all the other shit.

    • kareemachan

      seriously, no liberal EVER thought she was okay. She lied through her teeth when running for guv, took money from a supposed charity for working about 2 hours/month. Why the HELL would a liberal like her?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Because women or something. She’s featured in Time Magazine as one of the glass ceiling breakers everyone should be proud of, etc. etc. etc.

        Personally, I’m mad they included her instead of Chrystia Freeland. Tears or no tears that lady is smart as a whip and tough as nails. Also too, Putin hates her and is trying to get his claws into Canada for just that reason (among others, he donut like JT at Pride Parade or welcoming Chechen refugees either). Haley can go piss off, Chrystia’s a far better diplomat.

        • Anyone connected to t* is toxic and harmful to children and animals.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Freeland’s got a pretty good TED Talk about extreme inequality, the subject of her book. To the best of my knowledge, the only Teds who Haley has ever talked to are Zodiac Cruz and Nooge the Stooge. Republican, so obviously doesn’t care about rampaging multi-billionaires. Shame on Time for trying to be “bipartisan” and ignoring the leaders of the free world.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6NKdnZvdoo

          • Thanks. I’ll watch it later.

      • Blackest Noobs

        well because some of ’em fell head over heels for her about the confederate flag thing.

        • No just cause she supported one good thing doesn’t change what kind of person she is. I loathe every single evil-doer behind the malignancy in the WH.

    • BosGrl

      And she didn’t even take down the flag, really. Bree Newsome did that.

    • Edith Prickly

      She’s a capital-D Deplorable like the rest of Cheetolini’s appointees.

  • Panika MCD

    at least the Bamz administration had enough testicular fortitude to abstain from the vote because while they weren’t going to execute the 10th Amendment, they weren’t going to say they were hunky dory with state sanctioned executions either. do I still wish they had voted for the similar resolution? yes. but I will give them a grade of D rather than F-. Nikki and her boss get an F-.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Now, if you were a purity pony you’d say that this makes Obama literally Hitler.

      No room for nuance with them either.

      • Panika MCD

        I am not giving the purity ponies ponies by playing “both sides duet”.

  • OT: Just wanted to say how impressed I am by Sheriff Lombardo in LV. He handles press conferences like a champ under the most trying circumstances. That is all.

    • Three Finger Salute

      That Guy is a tru Royal Canadian.

      • lol Really? Or are you trying to fool a oldz broad? Ya know, fool me once, fool me twice, you can’t get fooled again or something.
        Also, too. he didn’t say eh once.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I’m not a oldz but even I know Guy Lombardo and His Royal Canadians. Orchestra best known for playing the New Year’s Eve TV special (previously radio) from Times Square, years before Dick Clark and Ryan “Human Ken Doll” Seacrest. It’s because of them that “Auld Lang Syne” is the New Year’s anthem. It was just part of the set they were playing, and not specifically intended to be the song for the stroke of twelve, but the camera went on them at midnight and the tradition stuck.

          At least nobody has to worry about standing or taking a knee for that anthem, because by that point everyone has already fallen down drunk. Which you’d think would be the same outcome if we actually did sing “To Anacreon in Heaven” at sportsball games…

          • I do remember Guy Lombardo well. He would be on the tv on NYE. That song is very melancholy to me.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Yes, absolutely. He’s handling a very tough job extremely well. In fact, LV will be studied extensively for a long, long time. To get 500+ people to treatment at a limited number of hospitals. OMG, the way hospitals ramped up to accomodate the surge!

      Know this. Las Vegas has been drilling and practicing this tirelessly. Please, please tell anyone you know that they job they have done is truly miraculous and that we/everyone appreciates their dedication to drilling and training on this stuff so the wheels don’t come off in Real Life. I know they are all reeling and have probably not had any time to even consider how well they’ve done. For the medical staff, the emergency isn’t over until every patient is place in appropriate care (many may have to be shifted around based on efficiencies), out of danger and on the road to recovery.

      Please tell them what a great job they’ve done and how much it’s appreciated. This didn’t all fall together so well without month and probably years of hard, consistent work. It matters, just ask any of the caregivers at UC Health after the Aurora Theater shooting.

  • chazmanr

    Still exercising my right to tell Nikki to FUCK THE FUCK OFF!

  • jesterpunk
  • altleftjohn

    Well, at least we don’t do this kind of shit. Anymore.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-middle-east-18503550

    • jesterpunk

      Do not give them any ideas, Fucker Carlson had a witch on who claimed they where casting spells on Trump.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Can they make him quack like a donkey or bark like a goat?

        • jesterpunk

          Erik Erikson can make a goat bark, does that count?

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      Never really understood “sorcery” in Abrahamic religions. Are they admitting that worshipping the devil gives you powers? Because that’s kind of kickass.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Not unless the devil’s name is Mammon. Then you can do whatever the fuck you want with the power of orthodox capitalism.

      • Thiazin Red

        The first commandment confused me, god admits that other gods exist and could be worshiped.

        • Courser_Resistance

          It is very interesting, isn’t it?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Some think sorcery/witchcraft was a mistranslation and the word in question means “poisoner”. Which makes much more sense.

    • Beowoof14

      Come on you know the evangelicals have a take over plan and that executing witches will commence as soon as they have full control.

  • Michael Smith

    This fits in well with the male members of the GOP’s unofficial anthem, “I Hate Myself For Loving Dudes.”

  • WIDTAP

    Nikki just got slapped for violating the Hatch Act. Next time they will mean business!

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/10/03/politics/nikki-haley-hatch-act-violation/index.html
    UN ambassador Nikki Haley warned over Trump retweet

    • jesterpunk

      Oh no they warned her? Did they make her go to her room and think about what she did too?

      “This is already the third time this year that a senior Trump official has been reprimanded for misusing their official position following a CREW complaint,” CREW Executive Director Noah Bookbinder said in a written statement. “Ambassador Haley should have known better.”

    • C4TWOMAN

      he he he….

  • bubbuhh

    I think Nikki Sweetie ackshully said, “NO FUCKIN WAY, MARIA. Bless your heart.”

  • altleftjohn
    • WIDTAP

      Jinx! You owe me a coke!

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        You can’t jinx because comments aren’t allowed. No coke for you.

    • GoutMachine

      I think we know the answer to that question.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      no

  • lucidamente

    When does the Haley 2020 PAC launch?

    • Crystalclear12

      2016

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Nikki, Nikki, Nikki… Tom Petty is looking down at you this very moment wishing that you would shut the fuck up.

    • Eileen Besse

      BRAVO.

  • whitroth

    Nope, go fuck yerself, Nikki:

    US Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley was warned on Tuesday
    that her retweet of a political message posted by President Donald Trump
    in June endorsing then-South Carolina congressional candidate Ralph
    Norman was a violation of the Hatch Act, according a letter posted by a
    Washington watchdog group. – from CNN

  • The Wanderer
  • DainBramage

    America supports killing in all its forms. Start an illegal war based on lies? Fine. Let morons walk around with enough firepower to kill a battalion? Fine. Let people die of dehydration in police custody? Fine. I fucking hate this place right now.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Leave an entire island of your own citizen to suffer and die after a disaster. Go, throw paper towels at them, tell them their leaders didn’t suck up enough and leave. These people need food, water, airdrops of supplies in remote areas and you give them fucking paper towels?

      • George Carlin said that we are the only country that has bombs and rockets in our national anthem.

        • Courser_Resistance

          While that’s technically true La Marseillase, the French National Anthem is plenty of bloodthirsty in its own right.

          You made me wikipedia it (cuz I learned it in French but can’t recall the translation), so here’s the English translation:

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Marseillaise

          Arise, children of the Fatherland,
          The day of glory has arrived!
          Against us tyranny’s
          Bloody banner is raised, (repeat)
          Do you hear, in the countryside,
          The roar of those ferocious soldiers?
          They’re coming right into your arms
          To cut the throats of your sons, your women!

          To arms, citizens,
          Form your battalions,
          Let’s march, let’s march!
          Let an impure blood
          Soak our fields!

          What does this horde of slaves,
          Of traitors and conspiratorial kings want?
          For whom are these vile chains,
          These long-prepared irons? (repeat)
          Frenchmen, for us, ah! What outrage
          What fury it must arouse!
          It is us they dare plan
          To return to the old slavery!

          To arms, citizens…

          What! Foreign cohorts
          Would make the law in our homes!
          What! These mercenary phalanxes
          Would strike down our proud warriors! (repeat)
          Great God! By chained hands
          Our brows would yield under the yoke
          Vile despots would have themselves
          The masters of our destinies!

          To arms, citizens…

          Tremble, tyrants and you traitors
          The shame of all parties,
          Tremble! Your parricidal schemes
          Will finally receive their reward! (repeat)
          Everyone is a soldier to combat you
          If they fall, our young heroes,
          The earth will produce new ones,
          Ready to fight against you!

          To arms, citizens…

          Frenchmen, as magnanimous warriors,
          Bear or hold back your blows!
          Spare those sorry victims,
          Who arm against us with regret. (repeat)
          But not these bloodthirsty despots,
          These accomplices of Bouillé,
          All these tigers who, mercilessly,
          Rip their mother’s breast!

          To arms, citizens…

          Sacred love of the Fatherland,
          Lead, support our avenging arms
          Liberty, cherished Liberty,
          Fight with thy defenders! (repeat)
          Under our flags, may victory
          Hurry to thy manly accents,
          May thy expiring enemies,
          See thy triumph and our glory!

          Arise, children of the Fatherland,
          The day of glory has arrived!
          Against us tyranny’s
          Bloody banner is raised, (repeat)
          Do you hear, in the countryside,
          The roar of those ferocious soldiers?
          They’re coming right into your arms
          To cut the throats of your sons, your women!

          To arms, citizens,
          Form your battalions,
          Let’s march, let’s march!
          Let an impure blood
          Soak our fields!

          What does this horde of slaves,
          Of traitors and conspiratorial kings want?
          For whom are these vile chains,
          These long-prepared irons? (repeat)
          Frenchmen, for us, ah! What outrage
          What fury it must arouse!
          It is us they dare plan
          To return to the old slavery!

          To arms, citizens…

          What! Foreign cohorts
          Would make the law in our homes!
          What! These mercenary phalanxes
          Would strike down our proud warriors! (repeat)
          Great God! By chained hands
          Our brows would yield under the yoke
          Vile despots would have themselves
          The masters of our destinies!

          To arms, citizens…

          Tremble, tyrants and you traitors
          The shame of all parties,
          Tremble! Your parricidal schemes
          Will finally receive their reward! (repeat)
          Everyone is a soldier to combat you
          If they fall, our young heroes,
          The earth will produce new ones,
          Ready to fight against you!

          To arms, citizens…

          Frenchmen, as magnanimous warriors,
          Bear or hold back your blows!
          Spare those sorry victims,
          Who arm against us with regret. (repeat)
          But not these bloodthirsty despots,
          These accomplices of Bouillé,
          All these tigers who, mercilessly,
          Rip their mother’s breast!

          To arms, citizens…

          Sacred love of the Fatherland,
          Lead, support our avenging arms
          Liberty, cherished Liberty,
          Fight with thy defenders! (repeat)
          Under our flags, may victory
          Hurry to thy manly accents,
          May thy expiring enemies,
          See thy triumph and our glory!

          • marxalot

            Good lord, I forgot how long that is.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I didn’t even copy ALL of it!

          • Thank you for that. I find the music stirring. Don’t speak French just some Spanish.
            I really like America the Beautiful and feel that would make a nice NA.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Megyn Kelly does not get to disrespect Tom Brokaw.

    Kelly was speaking to a panel of newspeople on her Megyn Kelly Today NBC show about the recent mass shooting in Las Vegas. One member of the panel was esteemed newsperson Tom Brokaw, and after an audience member asked if wall-to-wall news coverage of shootings like this is more harmful than it is informative, Brokaw launched into a speech about the NRA, noting that it’s been more harmful to the nation than the psychological trauma of news coverage.

    Unfortunately, just as Brokaw was spitting some hot fire about America’s favorite terror organization, Kelly interrupted him with a dismissive-seeming “Yep, got it.” It’s the sort of response that should be reserved for someone who thinks the Las Vegas shooting was “scripted” or an acceptable amount of blood loss for the great joy that is gun ownership, but Kelly apparently had a “hard break” and couldn’t stretch the segment any longer. Her show must therefore be timed as tightly as the Oscars, because otherwise her “Yep, got it” just makes her look like one of the NRA stooges in the government who can’t do anything but tweet about their thoughts and prayers.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Tom Brokaw shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Her show doesn’t deserve the credibility.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think he was there for the same reason Joy had Krystal Ball and Josh Barro on: because network made him.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Finger on the pulse of what viewers want…

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Where by “viewers” they mean “Comcast”

        • But it’s also fun to watch Joy smack the stooges with their own ignorance

    • RobKanC

      Was talking to a couple ppl in my office. 1 was a veteran and other 2 were general republicans. I convinced the veteran guy why its a bad idea on letting everyone screw with guns before the others interjected saying that the mass shootings was the price we pay for freedom. This was a country founded on gun violence and the alternative would be to put a metal detector at any place outside.

      We are never going to win this argument, just accept that constant danger of death by gun fire is always around the corner and move on.

      • Augustus

        No, FUCK THAT, their right to firearm ownership does not overrule everyone else’s right not to be gunned down at random

        We can never give this up, it’s literally fundamental to everything

      • georgiaburning

        Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness were repealed by the 2nd Amendment? Who knew?

      • Accepting is giving up. Incremental change IS change, even if it is slow.
        I hate giving up. And I like incremental change fine, since it brought the human race thus far.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Do not fuck with my Tom Brokaw. He’s like my grandpa (which I have not had any of for a very long time)

    • Her show must therefore be timed as tightly as the Oscars, because otherwise her “Yep, got it” just makes her look like one of the NRA stooges in the government who can’t do anything but tweet about their thoughts and prayers.

      Only because she is one.

  • BosGrl

    Oh Nikki, what a pity you don’t understand…

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Also, I saw what you did with that magazine.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Wouldn’t that be a kicker if she was the inspiration for that tune about a dominatrix.

  • thepoliticalcat

    Evan. There might be TWO of them. You know. Two ginormous, magic, glowy, orb BALLZ. There, I got to say it. BALLZ.

    • Courser_Resistance

      When I was in about 8th-9th grade the word ‘Chrome-dome’ would just slay me. Good for at least 15 minutes of giggles. It just hit me that way.

      • Slamtundra

        It’s a space suit, dummy
        You see the dome? You see the chrome dome?
        It’s a space suit, with a big W on the front

  • Covfefe

    As far as Nikki and an explanation goes, some peeps figure if you’re In a hole, you stop digging.

    • The Kids Aren’t AltRight

      Where as if you’re an a-hole, you just deny that the digging ever took place.

  • Beowoof14

    “Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.”
    ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
    A quote that has lived with me since I first read it 40 years ago.

  • bubbuhh

    The words Trump Lies, Trump Steal and Trump’s Administration Grifts and Grafts” Come To Mind

    IRS awards Equifax $7.25 million no-bid contract to help prevent fraud despite massive security breach

    Trump’s people are certain we are all stupid as fuck.
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/irs-awards-equifax-7-25-million-no-bid-contract-to-help-prevent-fraud-despite-massive-security-breach/

    • jesterpunk

      I mean 63 million people did vote for Trump…

      • So they say. Remains to be seen how many votes were flipped or negated. Probably won’t ever find out.

        • right about that and for good reason.
          Could you imagine if they went “Oh yeah, btw, these votes here were all switched and there was massive tampering”?

      • puredog

        It’s like a concrete demonstration of the old George Carlin quote about the population’s average intelligence.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This.Is.Insane

      • Why? We did basically the same thing when the banks were playing poker with mortgages.

      • Actually, my guess is that the info is being ransomed off, and this is their way of getting them the money without freaking out republicans (who love giving corp welfare anyway)

  • BadKitty904

    How many “Special Places in Hell” can there be left?

    • Panika MCD

      we’re going to put them on the spiral staircases in Hell.

      • ltmcdies

        I like Dantes 7 circles of hell but they might need one specified for Trump and gang of grifters

        • Trip Space-Parasite

          I’m pretty sure there was one specifically for traitors. Will that do?

        • Panika MCD

          there’s 9 circles. the administration betrayed the whole country–they go in the 9th circle (which is the deepest). most of them are going to be frozen in Cocytus in the Antenora ring (it’s the second ring and is for those who have betrayed their country, their heads will be above the ice and they tend to chew on each others necks), but Satan might have to grow a few more mouths for the Trump clan to fit into. however, we have to convince them that betrayal of America is technically betraying one’s lord.

          • ltmcdies

            How did I miss two whole circles…damn

          • Panika MCD

            I do not know. the 7th is a pretty big one as it is for violence, but the 9th is for traitors. (the 8th is for fraud, so Tsarina Tic Tacs has gone down a floor.)

      • puredog

        Fatten them up first for extra lulz.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Perhaps they are like pocket dimensions all nested inside one another ad infinitum.

      • BadKitty904

        Ad nauseum.

    • The Kids Aren’t AltRight

      Hells are like millennials: every one is special.

    • georgiaburning

      According to Hilbert’s paradox, even if Hell is full, it’s infinite so there’s all the room needed. Of course, it may take a while to get them their luggage, this being Hell and all.

      • jesterpunk

        Ben Carson can help them find their luggage.

    • clubseal

      They’re all special, if you have the right attitude.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Siding with the bandit Saud family, and their wackaloon Wahhabi clerics. Who are just barely to the right of Dense and the “Christian” dominionists.

    Fuck them all.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      and funded the 9/11 terrorists.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Ayup. Funny how that rarely gets mentioned.

        • Reddishrabbit

          Also Egypt, who leader Trump adores. Their repression mixed with Saudi Arabia “go over there and be an extremist and leave me to my house in Monte Carlo” was and is pretty toxic.

      • puredog

        Mostly OT, but I guffawed at a line in “The Big Sick,” where ex-gf’s parents were suspiciously grilling Pakistani ex-bf about what he thought about 9/11, and he said, “Oh, terrible tragedy, terrible. I mean, we lost 19 of our best men!”

  • Randy Riddle

    It’s worth mentioning in any article on the US vote at the UN, even in one at a site that includes dick jokes, that some of the evangelical leaders backing Trump and who have his ear at the White House, advocated for Uganda’s “kill the gays” bill and for homosexuality criminalization in areas like Russia. (Yes, I’m looking at you, Franklin Graham.)

    That’s the real reason the US voted this way and Haley and others in the administration need to be called out about it.

  • puredog

    “The Trump regime isn’t endorsing killing
    gays or adulterous slut ladies, it’s just continuing to endorse ALL THE
    KILLING IN GENERAL.”
    This is just to set the stage for Trump’s comments in Vegas tomorrow (“We don’t know Paddock’s reasons. He may have had very good reasons, okay?” and “There were bad people on both sides, some of those concert-goers, they weren’t angels, believe me”).

    • Antonin Dvorak

      He had a permit.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        His guns were legal. (the equivalent bullshit.)

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m beginning to truly appreciate the sensation of falling down a bottomless shaft in free-fall.

      THERE IS NO BOTTOM!!

      • OutOfOrbit

        sure picking up a lot of painful splinters on the way down

      • JoeChristmas

        Free fallin’

    • Yellerduck

      You say this in jest, but we haven’t heard him not say this yet.

      • puredog

        I was just trying to inoculate myself and my beloved Wonketteers from whatever verbal diarrhea may leak out of Dolt’s facehole tomorrow. I fear that it is an impossible task.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I always had doubts about the United States as being seen as the beacon of light for Democracy I always did see it as the ultimate project to get to this utopia.

    Unfortunately I no longer see it as this and would easily place it in the axis of evil no matter how many fine people like the wonks live there just as much as there are many fine people in Iran.

    We could get over the Bush jr. admin but this is just too much. As Merkel said: Time to get on our own feet.

    • DainBramage

      America was poisoned at its birth by slavery.

      • OutOfOrbit

        the slavery was a symptum: of greed

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          I’d phrase it differently: greed is what kept slavery alive in this country.

          • OutOfOrbit

            the greed that makes for slavery doz not begin and end at “our” borders

          • The repercussions are still being felt. Militias, the Electoral College, that cursed flag and it’s supporters and so on.

        • Let us face it: The country was a symptom of greed.

      • ariel_gee_398

        There are countries that do terrible things in their history and move on. The difference is they acknowledge mistakes and make affirmative efforts to move past them.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          This is what I meant to say.

        • I was just going to say the same thing. After the south was defeated, we should have implemented a scorched earth policy.

          • marxalot

            Or, I dunno, maybe engaged in actual reconstruction? How well did scorched earth and punitive reparations work for Germnay after Versailles? What happened is that the Union pursued a policy of keeping the South divided, poor, and unindustrialized because cotton was still a cash crop and the North had no more love for free slaves than the South did. Because profiteers on both sides could make more money out of a population with no options. The deliberate sabotage of the economic and political reconstruction of the South lead directly to the current racial situation in this country. And let us be totally clear: while it is true that racial violence on the large scale tends to concentrate below the Mason-Dixon line, there is and always had been plenty of it in the north and west– and the policies which sustain and create a white supremacist environment have been largely dreamed up by men with Harvard degrees.

        • And don’t put up statues glorifying the terrible things, instead of condemning them

        • puredog

          Canadia? Is that you?

        • aureolaborealis

          I’m starting to wonder about that whole, “let’s not prosecute the architects and leaders of the Confederacy or Southerners might hold a multi-generational grudge that we’ll never heal from” policy. All I’m saying is that a little pre-emptive Strange Fruit might have prevented a lot of subsequent Strange Fruit. With votes, or something.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        But at least we all did that.

      • Yellerduck

        And religion, particularly religion that could be twisted to support slavery. Religion that twisty can support or condemn anything.

      • georgiaburning

        Abe Lincoln agreed with you

    • I know. I hated bush/cheney and their entire contingent. I spent 8 years in a state of fury. But it pales compared to this t* world. I still cannot believe that this is happening and why it is being allowed to go on.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      We’ve fucked up big time. So far short of our ideals, for so much of our history.

      You have VOA. We have Exxon/Mobil, General Dynamics, so many more.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        VOA?

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Er VOC.

          I got all mixed up with other idiots.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Well the VOC as much as we like to see it as an brilliant thing, in the end it was Shell, Philips, Heineken and Unilever combined with the world’s most powerfull army at it’s time.

      • JoeChristmas

        We have the 2nd Amendment, oh yeah, right.

  • Courser_Resistance

    My local radio station will be playing an entire hour of Tom Petty starting at 4 (MMT-Mythical Mountain Time) ‘cuz yes, I know it’s already AFTER 4 where um, some of you live.

    • mancityRed6

      use that time wisely, you don’t have to wait 20 minutes

    • rosenbomb

      Life in Mythical Mountain Time is great. I saw a unicorn on my commute today.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Lucky you! Extra happy sprinkles for you !

      • Parakeetist

        Neigh

  • Joe Beese

    I was in a really pissy mood before this thread and it’s not helping.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I’ve been swinging between angry and depressed myself

      • Parakeetist

        Tell me about it.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • altleftjohn

      We are living in the United States of Amnesia. – Gore Vidal

    • proudgrampa

      “They can’t even remember what they had for dinner last night.”

      – proudgrampa

      • OutOfOrbit

        me neithner

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I’d say that’s pretty damning. So fuck her. And them. *Cue cat gif – you know the one*

  • Treg Brown
    • alpacapunchbowl

      It’s the damnedest thing…

    • Was this the disrespect to authority that gave us the droughts, Pat R?

      • Treg Brown

        I regret I only have 1 upfist to give this comment.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Who knew he was able to predict the future?

  • Is this open thread or are we finally waiting until Russia o’clock (6pm est) to post that?

    • OutOfOrbit

      i donut know i just fell off the turnip truck

      • mancityRed6

        *hits the brakes*

        • OutOfOrbit

          well not right on my head plz!

      • Covfefe

        Ain’t the truck’s fault

        • OutOfOrbit

          well i wuz driving, so…

    • Panika MCD

      I’d be guessing that someone’s working on something about the 20 week abortion ban.

  • Pookabun

    I believe there is also something in there about killing the intellectually disabled which we totally do and killing those who are under 18 at the time of their crime which we also do or at least recently have done. Now I certainly believe that the US would against this ban even without those things in it, since when do we give a shit about gay rights or any human rights but with those points in there we definitely wouldn’t vote for it.

  • Jgb979

    Even though Putin won’t get the normalized relations with the Us and repeal of the bouncy baby boy statute about political killings….

    Shit like this shows his investment was worthwhile. Never again will the US be thought of as anything but a laughingstock globally

    • jesterpunk

      We thought that was the case with W, it took a lot of work but we managed to turn that around then fucked it up again.

  • kaydenpat

    I’m surprised that Japan and India voted no.

    • why?
      Both enjoy healthy doses of state sanctioned murders of those people we do not desire.

      • kaydenpat

        They’re democracies. Japan shocked me most of all because I had no idea they still had the death penalty.

        • Allegedly, the US is also too a democracy.
          Hell, Russia claims it is a democracy since they have an election type thing.
          Democracy =/= anti death penalty, not by a long, long, long stretch. All Democracy really means is a majority of people are leaning in a particular direction and pushing their government along. Allegedly.

          • kaydenpat

            Sadly true. Oh well. In many ways, we are still barbaric people.

          • Some of us more so than others of us XD
            But yes, continuous fight, struggle goes on, all that.

        • h4rr4r

          India is currently run by their own MIGA racists. They elected their own Trump.

          • kaydenpat

            Sorry to hear that about the world’s most populous democracy.

  • he sang about free fallin and learning to fly and I love the american girl song!!!!
    Nikki with an i listens to top 40 repetition.
    Also, has never listened to the lyrics of American Girl.

    • jesterpunk

      They never seem to listen to the lyrics, if they did they would stop using “Born in the USA” at rallies.

      • kaydenpat

        True.

      • I mean it is right in the opening stanza:
        “Well, she was an American girl
        Raised on promises
        She couldn’t help thinkin’
        That there was a little more to life somewhere else
        After all it was a great big world
        With lots of places to run to
        And if she had to die tryin’
        She had one little promise she was gonna keep”

        She runned from the USA because the promises were lacking. That is not even subtle.

        • jesterpunk

          They dont need none of that edumication.

          • Boy, they missed the message in that one, also, too, eh?

          • jesterpunk

            They miss the message in every song ever. Unless they think its criticizing Trump but even then they need a giant fuck you Trump banner to realize its criticizing him (see their reaction to Roger Waters tour this year).

          • Lord Jim

            Remember Chris Krispy’s affection for The Boss’s “Born In the USA”?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Remember when Bush wanted to use Little Pink Houses, as his campaign song?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Pink Floyd libelz.

      • mancityRed6

        cue Paul Ryan and his love of Rage Against the Machine.

    • puredog

      Nikki loves Jeebus, an’ Murica 2.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Carles Puigdemont saying Catalunian independence matter of days and then this. Guys, I live by the grace of my son, Heineken, Schubert, Jack Daniels and Pall Mall right now.
    https://twitter.com/Watwoman/status/915320994755170311

    • Joe Beese

      As a Henry James character said, there are moments in life when even Schubert has nothing to say to us. Reading news like the subject of this thread is one of them.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        He really said that?

    • h4rr4r

      That’s so exciting, Catalonia is also gearing up for Independence.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Hey don;t blast me for spelling it in their native spelling

        • h4rr4r

          I am just being a jerk. Are they the lispy Spaniards or is that the other ones?

          I should know this.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Don’t call them Spansh. I made that mistake once when I worked and lived on the Island of Mallorca.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I love Mallorca!

          • marxalot

            Thothe are the ones out Barthelonia way. Cathth-tillianth.

    • oh goodie, someone else learned the fun of the insult.

    • puredog

      Credit where due: “headless chicken”; “dotard”; who writes this guy’s material?

    • Nobody loves Lil Kim except his mother. And she could be jiving him, too. 😋
      https://youtu.be/OIW4ARVbhrw

  • JoeChristmas

    I’m sending my TP her way.

    • puredog

      Tossing her a roll, like Trumpie in PR?

  • spangled

    one of the resolutions, the “don’t use experimental drugs for executions” one was definetly written to shade the US. We love doing that shit! Right Gorsuch?

    people say that democrats are bad at slogans. when nikki haley inevitably runs for president, I want to see “nikki haley wants to execute the gays” bumper stickers.

    • h4rr4r

      I don’t understand it. If you want to execute someone nitrogen gas is painless and sure fire.

      Since co2 does not build up in the blood there is no gasping or similar reaction. Just hypoxia, going unconscious and death.

      Not hard to get either any welding supply shop has it.

      • Hippy, what fun if it if they do not suffer? But see, it has to look like they aren’t suffering, cause that would make the witnesses uncomfy.

      • marxalot

        Massive overdoses of anaesthetics would work too, like we do with dogs. The point isn’t to remove an incurable member of the body politic. It is to punish someone, usually someone who has exercised the violent power of life and death, which the State has reserved for itself.

        • It is not even about punishment. If it were, hard labor would still be a thing. It is not a deterrent, it is not a money saver, it is not for closure.
          It is about revenge. Pure and simple. This person (may or may not have) stepped over line. We can’t abide.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yeah, because Republicans are dying to pull the lever for Nimrata Haley from one of those turban-wearing religions, possibly on the miniature adulterous gay-friendly jewish gun-controlling Wall Street media billionaire Bloomberg ticket Buddy Roemer is working so hard on.

  • h4rr4r

    I doubt our vote was just over the whole idea of the death penalty and had more to do with the fact that we use it in a discriminatory manner.

    • It was likely more to not piss off our oil uncles who keep the GOP blood flowing.

      • h4rr4r

        Why not both?

  • BadKitty904

    Speaking of GOP vermin:

    ‘Kinky’ New Species of Fly Found Hiding in Central Park
    Scientists discover a new kind of fly with unusual mating behaviors buzzing around New York City.
    https://www.cnet.com/news/fly-species-new-york-central-park-david-lohman/

  • mancityRed6

    just in case this is the OT, http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2017/oct/01/three-people-reported-shot-downtown-lawrence/
    “5 people shot in downtown Lawrence; 3 dead”
    (this was early Sunday morning)

    • And around and around it goes.
      Idea: Too soon to talk about Las Vegas, how about we talk about Lawrence instead?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Or, if that doesn’t work, maybe we can finally get around to that conversation about Charleston or Sandy Hook.

      • mancityRed6

        don’t read the comments

        • Oh heavens, never

          • mancityRed6

            Lawrence is a liberal town, but for some reason the comment section attracts people who don’t live in the town, and it’s surrounded by red, so, stupid people say stupid things.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      October 1? get with the program, we are already shooting people October 2.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Saudi Arabia: Our partner in Democracy. (The things I learned from the Bush Administration . . .)

  • Panika MCD

    for clarification: there are NINE circles of Hell (not counting limbo) in Dante’s Inferno. there are also 9 circles of Dante’s Internet.

    http://cdn.ttgtmedia.com/ITKE/cwblogs/enterprise-social-software/hell.jpg

    • Wonkette is Serious Business, right?
      RIGHT?

      • Panika MCD

        I think we have people in levels “serious business” through 4.

    • mancityRed6

      I am offended by that in some way, and if I don’t get the upvotes for saying so, then I’m just gonna leave and not come back.

      • *must. resist. clicking and. thereby.enforcing.behavior*

      • Panika MCD

        you’re tempting me to give you a down vote. it won’t work.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        I was going to say c’ya but it’s too late now. Curses.

        • mancityRed6

          nope, only the banhammer is gonna get me gone.

      • puredog

        You say that, but you’re still here.

    • Christopher Story

      Browncoats forever! (You see it or you don’t)

    • mailman27

      I would find fault with the fourth circle, but there were no obvious spelling, grammar, syntax etc.errors in evidence. That being said, I will fall into the burning brimstone pool clutching their,they’re and there to my pigeon chest beating breast! Grammar is the gateway to heaven goddamn it!!!

      • Panika MCD

        use the space bar more.

  • Bananas Foster

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2017/10/03/this_pro_life_congressman_was_caught_telling_his_extramarital_boo_to_get.html

    Fuckers being fucking hypocritical.

    (“Pro-life” Congressman Tim Murphy is surprisingly pro-choice when it affects him.)

    • mancityRed6

      I had to look at the date on that ’cause I know it’s happened before.
      also:
      “…a Pittsburgh woman exactly half Murphy’s age with whom he recently admitted to having an extramarital affair…”

    • Said it before. Those in power don’t believe this shit, or even care. It is all about getting the rich more richer.
      They use the hot button issues only as a means to rile their base. That is all.
      It makes them more loathesome than the true believers to me

      • mancityRed6

        “I get what you say about my March for life messages,” Murphy responded. “I’ve never written them. Staff does them. I read them and winced. I told staff don’t write any more. I will.”

  • Treg Brown
  • Joe Beese

    Are you angry/depressed enough yet?

    Nah, I don’t think so.

    IRS awards multimillion-dollar fraud-prevention contract to Equifax

    The no-bid contract was issued last week, as the company continued facing fallout from its massive security breach.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/10/03/equifax-irs-fraud-protection-contract-243419

    • jesterpunk

      So the DOJ will investigate them and fine them a small fine which they will make up with the payments from the IRS?

      • Joe Beese

        It’s the Circle of Life.

        • Christopher Story

          The circle jerk of life

    • Ok show of hands: Who did NOT expect the taxpayer to be footing this bill?

    • mailman27

      And the honorable civil servants who have spent their entire careers doing their fucking jobs are probably aghast at these know-nothings taking over the shop. They have to do what they’re told, even as they see the organization fall down around their ears.

  • memzilla Ω
  • bubbuhh

    Speakin uv Lyin Liarz Uv Teh GOPee, Rep. Tim Murphy (R-Letz Eat That Fetus Privately), co-sponser of the 20 Week Abortion Ban Bill, apparently, urged his personal pussy friend to have an abortion just last week.
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/former-mistress-accuses-pro-life-gop-congressman-of-urging-her-to-get-an-abortion-report/

    Of course, itz absolute truth that GOPee families with munny , espeshully their unmarried daughters, have been having abortions for a century They just do it secretly in places like Switzerland cuz God dont see stuff that goez on in expensive Swiss “health spaz.” He’z considerate to hiz “elect,” teh original properity gozpellers, that way.

    SO, itz all okay for Murphy to both sides on abortions, The poorz n not so poorz should just go to someplace like Zurich for abortions, like teh best folks do. Itz all about teh opticz. Just ask Trump.

    • h4rr4r

      How do these guys get mistresses? I understand one woman making the mistake of marrying them, but then another woman who is ok with being the other woman does it?

      I would think a family values asshole would not be appealing.

      • $$$$$

        • h4rr4r

          Ah, yes. As I have never had much I did not consider it. I consider myself rich now that I can afford a lifestyle these assholes would call “cute”.

          • There is also a slight chance at predatory/prey type scenario. There is a chance that a woman in a job might get pressed upon by a boss, etc, and at first fears losing said job, then fears losing not only job but all prospects as word gets out that “she cheated” with the boss, the slut! (never mind he cheated also) and all the stigma that goes with that.
            There is even the one shot in a million where your lover is the prince of england and cannot marry you because of your religion so he has to sham it with a good girl while you wait for 40 years on the side line.
            But…the majority of the time mistress status is about the $$$$.

      • bubbuhh

        Sexy timez boggle brainz.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      It’s called Hypocrisy Without Borders.

    • puredog

      I WANT THIS STORY TO BE PRINTED ABOVE THE FOLD ON THE FRONT PAGE OF EVERY SINGLE GODDAMNED NEWSPAPER IN THIS COUNTRY.

  • Aileen

    So killing someone because they’re gay or a heretic = not OK. Killing someone because they’re too poor to afford a good lawyer, or not mentally all there enough to properly act in their own defense, or black and killed a white person (especially a pretty blonde white person) = totally cool.

    • oh hey, the US would be perfectly ok with killin the heathens and gays, again.
      Again.
      Remember there was a time both were ok.
      They just can’t admit that out loud right at present.

      • DesertedPictures

        Babysteps my friend: first you go for the Muslims, and no one will speak out, because they are not Muslims. Then you attack immigrants and their families: gays come down too, but they are way down the line. Just wait for it.

        • Not on my fuckin watch. I got a big mouth.

          • DesertedPictures

            True: the USA has actually been surprisingly vigilant, after Trump took power. Seriously… it could have been worse.

          • We got shook out of our complacency methinks.
            We got complacent, and we got lazy, and we allowed ourselves to be conned by more than one side at the same time.
            Sucks to be us; time to get to work.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            That’s the conclusion I came to. I thought everyone was smart enough to realize we were moving forward.

  • Bitter Scribe

    In Japan, they don’t tell you you’re about to be hanged until a few hours before it happens. So you can spend year after year on death row just waiting for that official to appear at your cell.

    Albert Camus wrote that nothing is more monstrous than telling a man the exact time you’re going to kill him, then holding him helpless in your power until that time. I think he was wrong–the Japanese system is crueler.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Damn that’s cold.

    • Kooolest G

      better than the way japan used to do it, you had to execute yourself

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcO4MMzdYE8

      • Bitter Scribe

        What the hey, their idea of great military strategy was having kids deliberately crash planes into enemy ships.

        I don’t mean to Japan-bash. They’ve been through a lot, with a long-term economic crash and then the tsunami. But there are some aspects of their culture I find less than appealing.

  • DesertedPictures

    Something I will never understand. We universally are against fysical punishment of prisoners. We stopped the stockades, we don’t flog them or stretch them out on official torture devices.
    Why? Because we think fysical punishment is wrong.
    Then tell me why the worst form of fysical punishment: murdering someone, is allowed? Why did the harshest of those sentences remain on the books, when all the others where scrapped?

    • marxalot

      Vengenance is different. Also, after they’re dead the victim can’t display their wounds to shame the punishers.

      • This.
        Notice that the botched executions are never really about what the prisoner is suffering, but how bad the witnesses are feeling?

        • marxalot

          Most of the people who witness executions, including the families of victims, come out saying we shouldn’t do them anymore.

          • DesertedPictures

            Strange thing is: they used to be general forms of entertainment; executions where done on the market-places in the streets. Kids come and watch!

          • That was less entertainment and more actual deterrent. When people are forced to witness the savage murder of a “wrong doer” they really are less likely to try that route themselves.
            Some places even had rules that you /had/ to go witness a public execution, even the youngest.
            Plus, it was entertaining.

    • h4rr4r

      Physical.

      • DesertedPictures

        thanks.

  • I see Stupid People in Vegas tomorrow…

    “What is your death count?” he will ask as he turns to Las Vegas Mayor Carolyn Goodman. “60?”

    “59,” Goodman will answer.

    “59 people certified,” Trump will say. Fifty nine people versus 3000 on 9/11. You can be very proud of all of your people and all of our people working together. Fifty nine versus literally thousands of people. You can be very proud. Everybody watching can really be very proud of what’s taken place in Las Vegas.”
    https://media1.giphy.com/media/Zv6Apawffpa2k/giphy.gif

    • I can’t believe he said you can be proud it was not more.
      What. The. Hell.

      • DesertedPictures

        It’s a good thing the murdered didn’t get his hands on a plane, I guess. Thanks to plane controll….

        • mancityRed6

          he could have easily done so, all he needed was a physical to get back in the seat.

    • puredog

      Ayup. Something like that.
      Maybe I’ll just skip tomorrow altogether.

  • ariel_gee_398
    • marxalot

      We know the price of freedom, don’t we?
      No, wait, we only know its cost. A price is what you gain; a cost is what you lose. CSNY had something to say about this, after Kent State.

      • So much fucking this.
        For a buncha so called fiscal conservatives they sure as fuck know nil about price and cost structure.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Their understanding of economics is about as fundamental as it gets:
          Money in my pocket = good.
          Money not in my pocket = bad.

    • bubbuhh

      They the price uv Bill-Os freedom. He just fine wif that.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Nail on the head. The shit’s just as much a sociopath as his idol Two Scoops.

    • DesertedPictures

      Is Bill O’Reilly a too high price for Freedom himself?

      • puredog

        The chimes of freedumb fapping.

    • SDGeoff3

      Maybe he can interview the families of the assassinated and tell them what whiny, entitled assholes they are. With his damn flag lapel pin.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Fuck Bill O’Reilly with a thousand sharp rusty votes.

    • Alan

      And you’re lucky you’re no Bill O’Reilly.

  • geoffalnutt

    Very, very Putinesque. It is, after all, his regime. I wonder how many rubles bought her soul. One or two – at least.

  • Aaron Wise
  • Christopher Story

    That picture looks like it was lifted from a comic book.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Once again, sucks to be a homo. And NOT in a good way.

    • Christopher Story

      And mentally ill

      • Jeffery Campbell

        What?

        • CafeenMan

          It sucks to be gay or to be mentally ill or whatever else is in that list…

  • toughsister

    There is a saying: political satire died the day Henry Kissinger received the Nobel Peace Prize.
    And now it dies again:
    ““International law does not prohibit capital punishment when imposed and carried out in a manner that is consistent with a state’s international obligations,” Ambassador Keith Harper said at the time. We therefore urge all governments that employ the death penalty to do so in conformity with their international human rights obligations.”

  • Paperless Tiger

    Trump probably didn’t like the wording of it, because it presumes that torture is a bad thing.

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    As a proud Pansexual person, Haley and her pig boss can go fuck themselves . Now if you excuse me, i need to listen to Wildflowers and cry.

    • h4rr4r

      Why would you want to fuck that horned bastard? Is it the hooves or the flute that get you hot and bothered?

      • ahughes798

        You get a upvote for just knowing who Pan was!

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Doesn’t everyone? Trickster god. Pan flute is named after him.

          • ahughes798

            You would be surprised at the amount of people who don’t know anything about Greek/Roman gods. They were a crazy bunch of people, those gods.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Oh, you are right, but the author Rick Riordan is writing kids books with the greco- roman gods so maybe they’ll get a bit of knowledge.

          • ahughes798

            That’s cool. That’s where I learned about Greco-Roman mythology…in fact, I still have the book. I “forgot” to bring it back to the grade school library. I forget what the title is, but the illustrations were really cool.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I have a copy of Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Tanglewood Tales, published in 1851. It has beautiful hand painted illustrations. It was given to me by my nana, who was a schoolteacher, in a one room schoolhouse, in Maine in the 1910’s. ( I think it was a textbook of sorts,)

      • CafeenMan

        According to Tom Robbins, Pan smells REALLY bad.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jitterbug_Perfume

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Ever seen ancient Greek depictions of the guy? The reason he’s always naked is that there’s no WAY he’d ever find pants that fit. Yow!

  • mancityRed6

    and the Doctor pulls you aside and whispers, “doesn’t she look like Dana Loesch?”

    • Culinary Mercenary

      Points for the 10 referençe.

    • dshwa

      Same Cylon model.

  • Lefty Wright

    I hate to be contrarian, but how many people commenting here are sort of happy Stephen Paddock died, and if he had survived, would not have been disappointed if he got killed by another prisoner two years from now. Basically, he got what he deserved. Some crimes cause almost everyone to wish for retribution.

    • SDGeoff3

      People are sick and tired right now, and we never know what we might say out of frustration and distress. Most people know retribution is useless and a waste of energy, but at least we can yell and scream and not break and burn things down. And we can drink while we do it, also too. It’s not a happy time, and we have a few more years of this.

    • h4rr4r

      I much rather he would have lived to spend many long days in a cold cell. Dealing with what he did.

      • Sophia

        That’s about where I am on the issue. Death gives them an out. It’s too easy. I prefer the have a long life in prison.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      As a mass shooting survivor, no. They always kill themselves to avoid the painful reality they’ve inflicted on the rest of us.

    • CafeenMan

      I hate it when these guys get to kill themselves. They’re cowards and they get off way too easily when they do that.

      I’m not anti death penalty but I’m not up for typing out all of my reasoning.

      Someone always points out how much Capitol Punishment costs and yes, I agree that the legal system is fucked up beyond repair.

      In a nutshell we have to be absolutely sure the person did it and it has to be a particularly heinous crime that only a monster would commit.

      • SDGeoff3

        I can’t bring myself to support the death penalty anymore, and it has taken years to reach that spot. I agree, writing all the reasons out is a futile exercise. On the other hand, I can’t get all exercised over the fact that people do support it.

        If there’s going to be a death penalty, maybe it should be long and nasty, gruesome and public, and on the teevee live.
        And yes, puppies would be sacrificed during the national anthem.
        Let’s do it right, or not at all.

        • Bebecca

          I’m also conflicted. Intellectually I know It’s wrong but emotionally, some people need to be punished by death. Like Timothy McVey.

          • SDGeoff3

            It’s a shame the executed, like the terrorist you mention, cannot have an extended taste of the eternal shame he and his name will suffer. But that’s moot. In his case, there seemed to be a sense of closure.

        • ahughes798

          Not a fan of the death penalty, too many mistakes have been made, and jah only knows how many completely innocent people have been killed by the state in my name.

          I would be for the death penalty if it would bring back to life the people the killer killed.

    • ahughes798

      I’m not happy he’s dead…I’d love to see the relatives of the dead and wounded get to play with him first, with votes.

    • resisting and persisting

      I wish he’d survived, so we had a chance of knowing what motivated him.

      • SDGeoff3

        Apparently he was a man of secrets. It would have been nice to learn a few.

    • mancityRed6

      can we wish he’d never been born so this wouldn’t have happened?

      • SDGeoff3

        I can do that right now.

    • Vengeance is often mistaken for justice.

    • HazooToo

      Not happy, primarily because he died on his terms. I would rather each of his surviving victims, and family and friends of the deceased, get the option to punch him in the face once, until they had all had a turn or there was no face left.

    • Alan

      Ummm, no.

    • King Beauregard

      From an abstract perspective, I believe society has the right to decide that some threats need to be put down permanently, if there is no better way to deal with them. Put in practice, that belief informs everything from self-defense as a legal defense in murder cases to the creation of armies.

      But with that right also comes the responsibility to take the “if there is no better way to deal with them” clause seriously. Our police carry guns and should be allowed to use them, but only when non-violent options cease to be reasonable. Our armies should be allowed to defend our people, but that is not carte blanche to invade other countries. And so on.

      And when it comes to prisoners, we are pretty damn good at incarcerating people. We put them in jail, we can make sure they never hurt anyone ever again. As such, I don’t see that the death penalty can be legitimately applied in the United States. Other nations may or may not have the prison infrastructure that we have.

      • kareemachan

        Other people don’t NEED the prison infrastructure (for profit, I must point out) we have.

    • WIDTAP

      I take no joy in anyone’s death. I am only happy that the killing stopped.

  • What kind of anal repressive, mommy-issue obsessed, self-hating, homophobic asswipe of a country wants to KILL YOU SO DEAD for getting laid…oh yeah…MAGA.

  • coozledad

    She’s always been a fascist. Got elected governor with help from the Concerned Citizen’s Council or whatthefuckever the Klan with money calls itself. Same group that radicalized Dylan Roof. She’s dogshit. Hateful dogshit.

  • Anna Rompage

    It’s such a shame so many of our conservative evenagelicalized citizens are Old Testament Moses zombie wrathful god “eye for an eye” ass wipes, instead of the New Testament “turn the other cheek, and “give to poor folks the clothes off your back” folks jeebus implored then to be….

    Fuck them all with rusty chain saws, metaphorically speaking of course…

    BTW, where are all the good Christians that are suppose to be marching in the streets to protest what is essentially conservative, extremist Christian sharia law? I mean if that’s what we expect the Muslims to do to counter balance their extremeists, what about the jeebus folks?

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      They’re either a) too afraid to protest because they think they’ll be shot, or b) secretly approving and hoping God doesn’t notice.

    • Talis

      Those Christians you referenced are the good Christians.

    • Rickyphoo

      If their precious Jesus came back today, they would very quickly condemn for his compassion and toleramce.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      I can get very Not Nice on the topic of xtianity.. It’s often difficult to see anything redeeming (ha!) in what has effectively been a tool of dominator culture for hundreds of years (what we used to call the patriarchy). But I try and remind myself that it was a huge factor in making my Appalachian granny the person she was, and that the ‘gentle jeebus meek and mild’ version is out there too. Just, not much in evidence these days alas.

  • Kooolest G

    so wait, nikki haley executed tom petty for being gay? did I read that wrong?

    • Parakeetist

      No.

      • Kooolest G

        no she didn’t execute him or no I didn’t read it wrong? I’m having trouble with reading comprehension today

        • OrdinaryJoe

          No. She is an American Girl, not a Refugee, who Won’t Back Down from Running Down a Dream, even if she is Free Falling.

  • Rocket Pony Ron

    I’m thinking you lot need to change the signs at the border.
    ‘Welcome to the United States of America. We reserve the right to kill anybody we want.’

    • dshwa

      Or let our citizens buy enough weaponry to overthrow a small island nation and kill you themselves. Either way we’re good.

  • I watched and listened to Tom Petty vids on my phone last night before falling asleep. I wept as I felt and understood that a significant memory trigger of my youth, and a fucking musical genius, was gone. A part of me that was still a child went with him and I said goodbye to both.

    While I’m relieved to hear that Nikki Haley is in mourning, I’m troubled no small bit by her insistence in front of the nations of the world that state sanctioned executions are a fucking ok.

    Great post, Evan. And Nikki Haley, grow the fuck up…..no state sanctioned killing.

    • i was all over chicago by bike yesterday and everywhere i went i heard him: car windows, shops, the wrigley organist.

      it was really wonderful and so sad.

      • That is wonderful, and so sad. Thanks for the images.

  • Anna Rompage

    Is Nimroda, the feminine version of nimrod?

    Asking for a friend…

    • No. The feminine version of nimrod is KellyAnne.

  • Shawn Renee Ernoehazy

    I remain continually puzzled by the cognitive dissonance of the people who are against abortion, but for killing fully formed humans.

    • King Beauregard

      Well, nobody’s more innocent than fetuses, and nobody’s more guilty than murderers (or blacks). It’s just to take the lives of the guilty, but not the innocent.

      I don’t agree with that line of thinking, but I’m not puzzled by it either.

  • The Librarian

    John Oliver’s piece on forensic science has good reasons why the death penalty should no longer be a thing.
    https://youtu.be/ScmJvmzDcG0

  • amrak63

    I used to support the death penalty, before I learned how often our system wrongly convicts people of crimes, capital or not.

    https://www.innocenceproject.org/

  • Rickyphoo

    I’ve said it so many times my wife is tired of hearing it but pick any issue and 110% of the time, the tRump administration and the GOP will come down on the wrong side of it.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Sometimes I doubt that America is the bestest thing since sliced bread.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Only when “Exceptionalism” means “exceptionally stupid, cruel, and self-centered” but that is the definition of the Trump administration.

  • nightmoth

    Lord, Nikki! Just like Lindsey Graham, she falls into the “now you see my humanity, now you don’t” slot of the GOP. Is it something about South Carolina?

    • Hazel Blumberg

      It’s something about the US South. Period. And I live there. In the Deep South/Bible Belt. Where people Love the Lord. And Football. I’m not sure in which order.

      • nightmoth

        Hello, neighbor. Sunday church attendance depends on who’s playing Saturday.

  • HarryButtle

    Tom Petty would tell her to fuck off.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    It’s an admission that the U.S. administers the DP discriminatorily. Otherwise, why would she vote “no?” The resolution doesn’t bar the DP from being administered undiscriminatorily. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

  • The Flaming Carrot
    • kareemachan

      Sounds a tad…. defensive there.

  • Hazel Blumberg

    The death penalty in this country has always been carried out in a discriminatory way. How many more African Americans are on death row than white folks? Let’s just add LGBTQ folks to the mix, shall we?

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I can’t see why this is a problem! It’s not like anyone innocent ever got the death penalty…you know, like someone on whom an entire religion was founded. That would just be crazy! I mean it would make people who support the death penalty appear to be soulless hypocrites themselves if they supported a system that they knew was likely to cost innocent victims their life.

  • Teto85

    My my, isn’t that just special? Bless her heart. With all the sincerity my Alabama born grandmother would say.

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