SHARE
Trouble No More

Yesterday was Jimmy Carter’s 93rd birthday. (Peace be upon him.) He celebrated it by teaching Sunday school at his church in Plains, Georgia, as he does most Sundays. He didn’t go on Twitter to tell the world what a great Sunday school teacher he is, and he says maybe now that he’s 93, he and Rosalynn might start thinking about putting in fewer hours at the Carter Center, just a little bit. At least, the subject has come up:

“We thought about this when I was 80. We thought about it again when I was 85; we thought about it again when I was 90. So this is a propitious time I think for us to carry out our long-delayed plans.”

Or maybe he’ll wait until the Guinea Worm, a nasty parasite the Carter Center has been trying to send into extinction, is finally eradicated.

The Wall Street Journal reports Carter didn’t actually talk about his birthday during Sunday school either — he stayed focused on the first chapter of Paul’s letter to the Galatians (we understand that has nothing to do with Galactus, incidentally), but after Carter resumed his seat, things got a little more festive:

For the offertory hymn, David Osborne, dubbed “the pianist to the presidents,” showed up to play a medley that blended John Lennon’s “Imagine,” Mariah Carey’s “Hero” and the 19th-century hymn “I Surrender All”—on a Steinway piano brought in specially from Atlanta. “You’re my hero,” Mr. Osborne said, turning to Mr. Carter.

Paul Stubblefield, a Las Vegas-based R&B singer, serenaded Mr. Carter with a tune that meandered from “What a Wonderful World” to “Georgia on My Mind” and, finally, to “Happy Birthday.”

“You have given us a saint that we don’t deserve,” the pastor, Brandon Patterson, said in prayer.

Pretty good for a guy we were worried — two years ago — we’d soon be losing to liver cancer. Instead, Carter took only a few months to kick cancer’s ass, and along the way, he and Rosalynn sucked face on the Kiss Cam at the Atlanta baseball stadium, as one does when one is being treated by the power of love (and the best doctors available to former presidents):

Frankly, if the former president decides he’d like to live forever, we’re just fine with that. He’s kind of inspiring that way.

Oh, yes, and WSJ also reports the former nuclear engineer spoke Sunday about North Korea, saying that the government of that country is paranoid and dangerous, and noting that the fate of Libya’s Muammar Gaddafi, who gave up nukes altogether and then was killed in civil war, made it unlikely North Korea will ever give up its nuclear weapons. And other current saber-rattling worries him, too: “Now, they see the nuclear-weapons agreement with the Iranians and its doubtful status.” But maybe it’s not all gloomy?

Even so, Mr. Carter reiterated his hope that the U.S. would return to talks with North Korea, as the former president has long urged, in hopes of securing some kind of a deal to freeze its weapons program and subject it to international scrutiny.

He said he was pleased by Secretary of State Rex Tillerson’s remark on Saturday that the U.S. has “a couple, three” channels through which it directly engages with the North Korean government.

Well, an outbreak of peace would be an awfully nice birthday present for Jimmy Carter, wouldn’t it?

Also on Sunday morning, Donald Trump tweeted that Tillerson should STFU:

Hmm. No cake for that guy, that’s for sure. Now it is your OPEN THREAD.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. You can click here to help us out, or maybe today would be a nice day to help out the Carter Center or maybe Habitat for Humanity. Jimmy and Rosalynn need to stay busy.

[WSJ (if paywalled, try the Twitter link) / News4Jax.com]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    I am emotionally exhausted and have nothing to say in the open thread other than Happy Birthday Jimmy!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    dammit dok, you had to go and ruin it with a trump tweet.
    ; p

    speaking of whichi, doing what has to be done? Will that be a nuclear bomb or a land invasion?

    • clubseal

      If it’s Trump, it means “excessive bluster and no actual action.”

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        whew, thank god for that.

    • Juan de Fuca

      If there is a god, s/he’s probably thinking – “Damn. And to think that nation was this close to be on the right path with Carter and they didn’t even realize it.”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And Obama, also too… We get a chance every 30 years or so…

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          if only a god could overturn elections, we’d have hillary.
          If there is a god, I think he/she/it should have some veto power.

          ; p

          • Beanz&Berryz

            And he’d also too have some shit to answer for… maybe at the least confessing to not really being omnipotent…

          • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

            Or omniscient. Should have seen this shit coming.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            Or being omnipotent and omniscient and just not giving a fuck…

  • Beanz&Berryz

    Our good ol’ Jimmy Carter… Among all the many, many other things, a President who could just say the word propitious … because he can…

    • FlownΩver

      And “nuclear.”

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      He uses it because it defines him:

      ORIGIN
      late Middle English: from Old French propicieus or Latin propitius ‘favorable, gracious.’

  • Scooby

    When evangelicals rejected him for Reagan I suspected it would end in tears.

    • Three Finger Salute

      He wanted to bring an end to stupid wars, and so brought in all his cabinet members for a screening of the anti-war film Johnny Get Your Gun. The film was written by blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo. Red-Baiter Reagan got wind of this, and scrubbed every last trace of that good-for-nothing communist out of the White House. Also too, Dalton Trumbo.

  • Crystalclear12

    Ready to put this day to bed!
    Thanks for ending on good note.
    I know it wasn’t easy to find today.

  • foiled again

    Put aside everything else: How many 93-year-olds can or will use the word ‘propitious’?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      “Gladys! One of these damned kids is on the internet again talking about that baldness drug!”

    • Three Finger Salute

      Sure beats a 71-year-old toddler tweeting about bigly covfefe.

    • chazmanr

      Probably more 93-year olds than millenials.

  • Jimmy Carter, birthday boy and boddhisatva.

    Thank you for all you do and have done Jimmy!

  • FlownΩver

    Tillerson’s muttering “I didn’t give up all that sweet oil dinero for this. I’ve got half a mind to tell that asshole to shit in his MAGA hat and pull it down over his ears.”

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    OT/ I had this really weird experience of thinking I was having a thought for 5 minutes then to wake up realising it took 3 hours to have this 5 minute thought making me realize I was actually asleep for the time it took place. It wasn’t a lucid dream because I could not steer it but I was constantly in very dangerous situations but instead of being scared I always felt safe of my decisions even though some did not make sense in real world but turned out great in the end.

    Example going down a very steep hill on a bike and accidentally jumping off a giant slide flying hundreds of meters but instead of being affraid of crashing I knew I would land safely in the branches of a three and I did.

    Does anyone have had similar experiences?

    • jowgajen

      Brains are weird.

    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yeh thanks that helps.

    • MrTusks

      This one night I was lying in bed, not especially tired. Then I blinked and it was day. No gradual fall to sleep, no period of dozing, nothing. Just a blink and hours passed.

  • SisterArtemis

    Open thread, huh? Is this the part where thousands of wonketteers form a massive group hug, weep a bit, rage a lot, and set to drinking (alcoholic, or comfort drinks like cocoa and ginger ale, or combos thereof) till the next time we have something Nasty happen? Which will probably be tomorrow the way things are going…
    *sniffle sob*

    • The way things are going? I give it another 15 minutes, tops.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        It’s already happened. We just haven’t heard about it yet…

      • I’m going to refrain from assembling the bookcase that i need to build at some point this week.

        • Pour a stiff drink, and get that allen wrench out!

          • It’s in the box with the bookcase. Hurrah Ikea!

          • chazmanr

            Have you actually seen it yet? Given today, I assure you, the hex key is going to be the wrong size.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            If you wait until tomorrow, it will be the correct size again.

    • Candy Matson Y-28209

      This day. This fucking day.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      *offers a broad, furry shoulder*

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I can tell you from experience that mixing cocoa, ginger ale, and alcohol will only make today worse.

      • SterWonk

        Hot cocoa + Creme de Cacao = better.
        Ginger ale + Ginger beer = better.

        Not sure about one following the other, or mixing them, but that’s a separate issue.

    • CeeQ

      I can’t even. Nothing will change. More people will die needlessly. And I will continue to eat all the chocolate because otherwise I will lose my fucking mind.

  • clubseal

    For the possibly onanistic Editrix – I notice that your tour is going to take you to Eugene, Oregon, and Sacramento, California. I am quite ungood at the geography, but that seems like you might be passing through my shitty little neck of the woods (thanks, I-5!).

    There’s a family friendly tap house here where a Wonkette fan could purchase beers for Wonkette overlords, if they were so inclined.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Jimmy only served one term. He’s eligible to serve another. Can we please replace Donnie with Jimmy? Or at least Hologram Jimmy so that Real Jimmy can rest up?

    • jesterpunk

      At this point replacing Trump with anyone else would be an improvement

      • Beanz&Berryz

        I just hope that he drives the Republican brand into the ground faster and deeper than he does the USA and the rest of the world…

        • Three Finger Salute

          The U.S.A. is indistinguishable from the Republican brand. The best thing that could happen to it is the government collapses and gets rebuilt Germany-style by sane foreign allies who commence a De-Nazification process that bans the Republican party and its attendant outlets (Fox, Breitbart, National Review, etc.) and sends them all to prison on some kind of remote island somewhere. The same way Germany did to Der Sturmer and swastikas. Then, they rebuild the government with Democrats and maintain an indefinite observational status on the fledgling republic, to ensure that we don’t get out of hand again. Kind of like having U.N. Peacekeepers except we’d have them, the R.C.M.P., Scotland Yard, the French Foreign Legion and, yes, the German Army (how ironic is that) keeping us in line.

          • Raan

            I, for one, welcome our new European overlords.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            That is one eventual scenario I’ve thought of- that our former democratic allies go to war against us as a rogue state.
            The more likely dystopian scenario is that the coastal states attempt to split off and try to become independent Catalonia style because their tax dollars are being siphoned away and their interests not represented. The central government goes to war to prevent that, with various international powers backing each side.
            Either scenario involves weapons of mass destruction, and the end of our country as we know it.

          • Cock Blockula

            And Marshall-Plan us single-payer healthcare.

      • Scooby

        Mike Pence? Roy Moore?

        • jesterpunk

          Still would be an improvement, they are at least politicians who wont attack everyone on twitter. Really shows how low the bar is now.

          • Scooby

            I like Trump because he is so incompetent. I can on;y imagine the horrors Ted Cruz would have inflicted. The fact he can’t get nothing done is his best quality. Also, if by some miracle you retake house and senate he will sign anything rather than veto it.

          • jesterpunk

            But until then he is trying to start a war with Iran and North Korea and is attacking anyone who dares to say anything remotely critical of him like the mayor in San Juan.

          • Scooby

            I agree, that’s the downfall of my plan.

    • chazmanr

      Even dead Jimmy Carter would be a more effective and likeable POTUS.

  • Joe Beese

    He does show encouraging signs of immortality.

    • Raan

      Truly, he is America’s Highlander.

  • Raan
  • chazmanr

    Thanks for the effort, but still f-ing depressed after this day. Going home, packing a fat bowl and listening to “Damn the Torpedoes”.

    • Holly

      I’m sipping on a glass of red and occasionally a tear will fall. We’re all here for each other and we all feel exactly the same way. Love to you my friend.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just cause it’s funny and awesome:

    https://i.imgur.com/GCwcH4X.gifv

    • Three Finger Salute

      I have no idea what this even is, but it describes 2017 and this day in particular perfectly.

      • Bill D. Burger

        I’m not even sure. __ Saw it and someone said it was “Halloween in Tel Aviv.”

        • Three Finger Salute

          So that’s what it’ll look like when Jesus comes home to dad’s place. Huh.

          • Bill D. Burger

            Ridin’ the Titanic! rotfl…..love it.

      • Joe Beese

        Hint:

        “Jack!”
        “Rose!”
        “Jack!”
        “Rose!”

        (pretty much actual dialogue)

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Where is this gem from?

      (Looks like something from Burning Man.)

      • Bad Tom

        In concept, yes. But in setting, no.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Too many clothes for Burning Man (The wife and I went in 2013. I had on cargo shorts and sandals and she had on a summer blouse and shorts…and we were the most overdressed peeps around. It was GREAT.) ! rotfl ____ If the caption was correct on reddit, it’s a costume for Halloween in Tel Aviv and he was a party goer.

        • HellhathnofuryDemme

          Thanks!
          Just sent it to my daughter, who used to live there.
          She’s a Burner, and her husband is from Tel Aviv.

          The dress and wig on a guy with a beard seem very burner-ish to me. But you’re right, too many clothes. (Mad skateboard skills!)

    • SisterArtemis

      Oh My!!!

  • Antonin Dvorak

    Oceanographers find evidence of fabled 8th continent, name it Zealandia.

    https://www.livescience.com/60538-zealandia-eighth-continent-once-above-ocean.html?utm_source=notification

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Don’t believe the fake news! Zootopia is NOT underwater! Surrounded by big ocean! Many people don’t know that! #ZootopiaStrong”

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “Or maybe he’ll wait until the Guinea Worm, a nasty parasite the Carter Center has been trying to send into extinction, is finally eradicated.”

    There is another nasty parasite around that needs to be eradicated. Perhaps Jimmy’s moral authority can help with that problem as well.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Actually a whole colony of them

  • Shanzgood

    There was a scene in an episode of Gotham I watched last night where an inmate at the asylum turned violent and started screaming because someone else got ice cream and he didn’t. As the orderlies dragged him away, he was screaming:

    “WHAT FLAVOR IS IT?! WHAT FLAVOR IS IT?! WHAT FLAVOR IS IT?!”

    That’s been about all my brain could do all day.

    And thanks for the Nice Times Open Thread.

    • Stulexington

      I can’t help but think that’ll be Donnie in a year or two when another inmate gets two scoops and he only gets one.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Antonin Dvorak

    Happy Nobel Times!

    BERLIN—Three scientists who made key discoveries on the workings of our internal clock have been awarded this year’s Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine.

    The 9 million Swedish kronor ($1.1 million) award will shared by Jeffrey Hall of the University of Maine, Michael Rosbash of Brandeis University in Massachusetts and Michael Young of Rockefeller University in New York.

    https://www.livescience.com/60579-nobel-prize-in-medicine-2017-biological-clock.html

  • Joe Beese

    The long-awaited “Sex and the City 3” is not happening, according to star Sarah Jessica Parker. …

    “We had this beautiful, funny, heartbreaking, joyful, very relatable script and story,” she said. “It’s not just disappointing that we don’t get to tell the story and have that experience, but more so for that audience that has been so vocal in wanting another movie.”

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/29/entertainment/sex-and-city-3/index.html

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Thanks Joe! I needed some good news.

      • Joe Beese

        I didn’t want to frame it as such, but…

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I never ever understood the appeal of this show. Terrible writing, terrible and I mean terrible acting. I suppose maybe women talking about masturbating, having sex “like a man”, etc etc must have seemed edgy to someone? Because it just came off as trite and contrived to me.

        • Cock Blockula

          I never “got it” either…

    • altleftjohn

      One tragedy after another . . .

  • HellhathnofuryDemme

    Is this the “darkest before the dawn” part?

    (PBU you, Jimmy!)

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Bill D. Burger

    “It’s an island. It’s an island in the middle of the ocean. It’s a big ocean. Very big ocean.”
    Oh gawwwd’!
    Just posted this to Donny’s twitter feed.
    Hope it helps:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DK6E7d2VAAELXwJ.jpg

  • Joe Beese

    When people said they weren’t funny any more, they weren’t kidding.

    https://twitter.com/TheSimpsons/status/914649151027085312

    • theblackdog

      I bet we hear FOX cancels them because they support PR and not the president.

      • Lizzietish81

        Maybe that’s Matt Groenig’s plan.

        “FREEDOM!”

    • proudgrampa

      El gusto es mio.

  • spangled

    I know y’all are BEGGING to hear what ol’ falafel dick has to say about the shooting: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68e02cb3007d870ddf2e8b955868ccd314626759528730a75bc322c0945543a5.png
    WHY AREN’T THERE GUNS ON THE FLAG? IS THIS SOME KIND OF GOTDAMN COMMUNIST COUNTRY?

    • Bitter Scribe

      Well that’ll console the victims and their loved ones no end.

  • jesterpunk
    • Bill D. Burger

      Owl……………and Kitteh’!!! OMG!

      https://media.giphy.com/media/9rZaXswTGDmBG/giphy.gif

    • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

      No fair – The montage is missing it’s beautiful pea-green boat.

    • Joe Beese

      Says Hoo?

      • jesterpunk

        The owl?

    • Candy Matson Y-28209

      Thank you, yes, keep em coming!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      D’awww!
      My nephew’s first birthday was this weekend and my sis did an owl-themed party because he likes owls and especially likes to say “hoo!”

  • Joe Beese

    I’m sure we could all use some spirit lifting today.

    So who’s up for Avatar 5?!

    • Scooby

      Betting Trump will resign is now even money.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I haven’t seen Avatar 1. And I’m not planning to. Frankly, the fact that he called the rare element they are seeking “unobtainium” struck me as so breathtakingly fucking stupid that it put me off from the get go.

      • Meccalopolis

        It’s kind of an inside joke by electricians for parts that are hard to source, NOS, etc.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Car guys use it too, when talking about engine or suspension parts made from rare and expensive alloys.

          • Arolpin

            Hell, Oakley used to talk about their sunglasses being made of unobtainium.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Hard pass.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      The same people who are hyped for Indiana Jones 5.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        “Indiana Jones and the Mountain of Geritol”

        • “But we aren’t letting Shia LaBeouf in it this time! We promise!”

          • Seek

            He was not the worst thing about that movie. At All. I mean Cate Blanchett should be deeply and horribly ashamed and that’s just the beginning. Script, Special Effects, Acting, etc etc – All of it was horrible. Shia was also bad but I mean he was just run of the mill bad, as usual.

  • Lizzietish81

    So on the one hand, not surfing the net at work has some very positive effects. I don’t get distracted or depressed. I saw the news about Las Vegas at lunch, and while some shill on CNN was trying to add more drama, I switched to Spectrum news where they were just showing the News Conference. Say what you will about Spectrum, but they have good news coverage.

    Otoh, I get home and get a massive dump on a day like today. Not only was there a shooting in Las Vegas, but Tom Petty has died, and the usual suspects are out claiming that we can’t talk about gun restrictions because it’s a right (but not health care, fuck you plebs) and Donald Trump is still somehow president and I can’t even.

    • Lord Jim

      Matt “Douchecannon” Bevin (KY-LeopardsEatingPeoplesFaces) took to the Twitter to accuse gun-control advocates of being political opportunists for saying “How long til we can talk about gun-control laws?”

      Republicans – the Party of Conservative Moral Values.

  • wait! what?

    That first picture of Jimmy makes him look like Steve McQueen. Come to think of it, I’ve never actually seen them together in the same room…

    • Daniel

      I thought Neil Young.

      • wait! what?

        …so, all three of them together in the same room.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      That’d be a hell of a long con, considering McQueen was reportedly John Wayne levels of right-wing.

      • wait! what?

        Steve used to hang out with Bruce Lee who’s also not supposed to be dead.

  • Bitter Scribe

    It angers me to this day that Carter gets sneered at and belittled by the people who revered that slushbrain Ronald Reagan.

    • Lord Jim

      Remember Mitt Romney’s comment on Obama giving the go-ahead for Seal Team Six to capture the “tall man in the compound”? “Even Jimmy Carter could have made that call”.

      What a stupid, arrogant, fuck.

    • SisterArtemis

      I was not a fan when he ran, but his work in office, and the consistency between his faith and his acts of compassion, won me over.

      • Arolpin

        I think the last Republican my parents voted for was Jerry Ford, because they were worried about a southern evangelist as President. They voted for Carter in ’80 (because they lived in California under Gov. Reagan) and have lauded his as one of the greatest Americans of our time since then. Jimmy was a great man, at the wrong time, who didn’t let a defeat change who he was, but rather made him double-down on goodness.

    • tomamitai

      Yeah, I remember watching a political show shortly after Reagan left office and gave a speech in Japan for a few million bucks and a liberal on the panel contrasted that with Carter’s post-White House work with Habitat For Humanity. Some conservative, don’t remember for sure but it may have been Pat Buchanan, sneered that he was trying to make up for the bad job he did as President. I wanted to wipe the floor with his face, that asshole!

  • Panika MCD

    interesting thing about federal funding.

    I was talking about the Stafford Act the other day as to the fact that for a state to get funding they have to exceed a certain amount of damages per person in the entire state which consistently fucks TX and CA.

    that threshold is currently set at $1.43 in uninsured damage for every man, woman and child in the state if each was to pay an equal portion of the cost.

    you’ve also seen that usually you get a 75-25 federal-state cost share, but TX got a 90-10 deal because Gov. Wheels is great deal maker and Tsarina Von Clownstick is a weenus.

    turns out that the Stafford Act has a never before used provision which allows for the cost-sharing to shift to 90-10 if the uninsured damage exceeds another declared threshold. right now that threshold is $135 in uninsured damage per population. we exceeded that by boat loads during Harvey. FL did not exceed that during Irma. I think it’s safe to say that PR exceeded that, so why is POTUS being such a fuckhead about it?

    • Raan

      Because brown people.

      • Panika MCD

        TX has lots of those. there are over 400 languages spoken in Houston.

    • wait! what?

      He can’t read good. He’s probably thinking feudal funding.

    • jesterpunk

      He just learned last week they where on an island in the ocean? He also just learned they are Americans?

    • Suttree

      Texass has more electoral votes than zero?

      • Panika MCD

        please cease the use of “Texass”. but we have 38 and are likely to get 4 more in the next round of redistricting.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Why? The answer can be found in the fact that you used several paragraphs consisting of complex sentences and some big words to explain a complex situation.

      donnie don’t do big words or big reading. donnie don’t do complex anything.

      • Panika MCD

        yeah, but I’m saying that Gov. Wheels didn’t get that because he was a superior negotiator (though he probably is because clearly that bar with Tsarina Tic Tacs is not difficult to rise above), but because it’s already in the Stafford Act.

        I then questioned why he’s dragging his fucking feet with PR because I think it’s safe to say they exceeded that $135 per population in damages.

  • wait! what?

    The end of the world guy was right about things being different at the beginning of October.

  • jesterpunk
    • Bill D. Burger
      • CindyinEncinitas

        Why you put kitty face in bread.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I want to squeeze them.

    • Suttree

      I’m not sure that they are done yet. My body heat should finish them off.

    • Lambsendbeds

      White kittehs are my favorite! I have six and not a white one among them, sadface.

      • jesterpunk

        My first cat was a white cat with no claws and huge fangs who used to sleep under my crib and make sure no one she didn’t like came near me.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Amazon is getting better about fitting things into the right boxez.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So this is a propitious time I think for us to carry out our long-delayed plans.

    I hope they involve hanging a banner within full view of the White House that displays Donald’s poor ratings in the polls!

  • HazooToo

    Well, it has been a miserable fucking day, but I am hoping things will turn around soon. I just got the kid his first glasses, and they look and fit and see very well. Also stopped and bought $5 worth of stuff at Dunkin Donuts, tipped two dollars, and got an extra donut, a bag full of donut holes, and half a small strawberry banana smoothie for free because cutekid/nicetip. So there’s that. How are you guys doing?

    • You should ice that burn

      I’d switch miserable days with you anytime.

      • HazooToo

        The miserables came before that stuff, but you know what, you still might.

        • You should ice that burn

          Hopefully we all get through with our selves intact, and help each other along the way!

          • HazooToo

            Yes indeed! I suck at commiserating with words, so for tonight, I have moved on to distracting with pictures. Doing my best to lift some spirits.

          • You should ice that burn

            I’ve gone the “spirits” route..

          • HazooToo

            I also recommend the pot route. That one helps in the darkest of days.

          • You should ice that burn

            Cheers!

    • Anna Rompage

      Yay for free donuts!

      Getting off work an hour early today because I have to be back here at the ungodly hour of 5 am tomorrow morning, and princess needs her beauty sleep!

      Have an hour or two scheduled with the garden inter later this afternoon to go over how to collect & dry seeds for next years crops…

      • HazooToo

        Ughhhh, that is too early, may your coffee be hot and strong.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Seed harvests are fun! [Looks like you let the garden get away from you and you didn’t harvest everything.] {Naw, I let those go for seed on purpose!} I’ve done lettuces, squashes, tomatoes, fennel, parsley… and that’s all, I think. Ohh, and garlic, of course…

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      My 35 y,o. son came over today after a mediation session wherein he and his wife are executing their divorce. Poor kid. I think he’ll be better off in the long run, but in the short term it sucks. So I have two scoops of sad for this crap ass Monday.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Ds suck, even when needed and go relatively smoothly… They just suck more otherwise… Sorry for your boy…

      • HazooToo

        At least he has you to be there for him. That’s going to make all the difference.

    • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Just found out today that Trump is “smart” because he lies to us.

    And I’m “dumb” because I don’t believe Trump and instead believe only The Truth.

    You know…reality.
    http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2013/12/bwahaha.gif

    • HazooToo

      Sure. That’s the lesson smart people learn from The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Nothing bad ever happened to the boy who kept lying, and everyone always believed him.

      • Lizzietish81

        OMG, so a few years ago my niece was watching Super Y, which I never liked, but this one episode pushed me into firey hate.

        They were doing The Boy Who Cried Wolf, except the kid in the story wasn’t lying and the “lesson” was that the adults should have just trusted him. I was so pissed.

        • HazooToo

          What the hell is Super Y?

          • Lizzietish81

            Stupid kids show on PBS. It’s mostly about spelling, but is super inane. Like Caillou but with delusions of educational value.

          • They really should just show Sesame Street in a loop

          • HazooToo

            The show that pisses me off is Teen Titans Go. There’s an episode about how Starfire just can’t fit in because she’s “stupid”, instead of because she’s a goddamn alien from another fucking planet, but Raven is a BUMMERRRRR because she’s smart. Raven tries to help Starfire learn, and gives her a magic amulet that makes her smart. She turns into an asshole. She nearly kills them all until they make her stupid again. Can I please have one goddamn show where the hero is the smart one, not the dumbass who never EVER listens until the last five minutes, and then is praised for saving the day?

          • marxalot

            I dunno, the original Teen Titans was a fun clever show featuring several intelligent protagonists, but girls liked it too much for good marketing analytics, so we got the deranged spectacle of Teen Titans Go!, whic I’ve described as “like Spongebob or Amazing World of Gumball, but with characters I know and care about.”

          • HazooToo

            Exactly. I liked the original, and my son finally got to see an episode, he liked it too. They did the same thing to Ben 10! They had two really good shows for kids who dig drama and parents who are tired of slapstick… and they fucking ruined them.

  • Jennifer R

    Have an afternoon peek at what I spent all yesterday doing.
    https://twitter.com/norintha/status/914967971860115456

  • OutOfOrbit

    Just heard about LV (been out of the pocket) has the all might-is-right OPOS twitterstormed about it yet?

    • proudgrampa

      Oh, yeah… And every other RWNJ in this god-forsaken country.

      Hell, Bill O’Reilly said it’s the price of freedom.

      Gaaah!

      • OutOfOrbit

        too bad Bill-o wasn’t there to pay his share

    • Beautiful Soup

      he gave us a twitter sprinkle about his “warmest condolences.” He has yet to go truly off-script about it (i.e., he has become “presidential” again).

      • OutOfOrbit

        thx

      • Beanz&Berryz

        By woodenly sticking to his teleprompter script.

  • proudgrampa

    Jimmy remains a personal hero of mine.

    Long may you run, Mr. President.

    https://youtu.be/WYna-UAt75c

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      I’m not crying! YOU’RE crying!

  • Candy Matson Y-28209

    On the one hand, it was cool to see an Amazon list of stuff they really need in Puerto Rico, with needs prioritized and the ability to ship it where it needs to go. That’s kinda comforting to know exactly that your donation is going to needs as opposed to administrative stuff or mailers.

    That being said, why am I buying neosporin to send to PR when our gov’t should be spending the fucking money we all chipped in on tax day? It’s fucking ridiculous that basic emergency aid STILL isn’t getting there, while jackass is golfing and taunting Kim and the NFL.

    I’m glad the black cross put up that amazon wishlist, but as an American I’m ashamed that they had to.

    • HazooToo

      At this point, I would suggest you start passing around a bucket to rent some construction equipment and have it shipped. Or to pay some good safety conscious contractors to go out there and help the troops and FEMA reopen roads and fix generators. That is what they need most.

  • Holly

    We all need a massive hug so here my darlins’. May you all feel this kind of warmth and security tonight. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/884b0e898f42a382526854daa65408014642fc07037d204d4871b27b9736f97d.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Boink!

      • ShellyRGarner

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !sn281d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleInternetAlertComunityWorkFromHome/make/more ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sn281l..,…

    • HooverVilles

      Teh Ceiling Cat awards you teh furst place award in the field of excellence.
      Your prize: the interwebs for a day. Contact your local provider to collect your prize.
      Thank you for this. Srsly, Thank You!

      • Holly

        Well golly! I’ve ever won anything before. Thank you very much HooverVilles.

        • HooverVilles

          You’re very welcome!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Lord Jim

      By comparison, NASCAR has a very Republican fan base, which may explain why its team officials have been outspoken against the NFL protests.

      Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        And the traitorous flag.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Keeps getting curiouser’ and curiouser’…..

    [Las Vegas gunman was multi-millionaire real-estate investor

    MESQUITE, Nev. (AP) — Stephen Paddock lived in a tidy Nevada retirement community where the amenities include golf, tennis and bocce. He was a multimillionaire real-estate investor, recently shipped his 90-year-old mother a walker and liked to travel to Las Vegas to play high-stakes video poker.

    Nothing in his background suggests why he would have been on the 32nd floor of the Mandalay Bay Hotel and Casino with at least 17 guns on Sunday night, raining an unparalleled slaughter upon an outdoor country music festival below.

    “I can’t even make something up,” his bewildered brother, Eric Paddock, told reporters Monday. “There’s just nothing.”]

    Multi-millionaires kill you by denying you healthcare, not with a hail of bullets from a high rise hotel.

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/gunman-killed-50-las-vegas-150900674.html?soc_trk=gcm&soc_src=b651dd5b-b580-37ac-a559-8c110b17ac33&.tsrc=notification-brknews

    • Joe Beese

      It’s OK. Please don’t make anything up.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I wonder if he had an extraordinarily bad night at the poker table? If he was under pressure financially, it might have caused him to snap. Totally speculative, of course.

      • Joe Beese

        Lots of things could make someone want to kill themselves. Very very few things could make someone want to kill as many other people as they could take with them.

      • Bill D. Burger

        From what his brother said, he was quite solvent financially, very, very well to do.
        This is really a WTF? WTF? event. All the planning and the execution of the horror is still mindbending and his status in life seems to break all the predictive norms of these terrible events. Even the usual retired FBI chatterheads are scratching their noggins’ at this one.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          His brother might not know all the details of his finances. My father retired with a fair bit put away, and gambled much of it away within a couple of years. We had no idea how bad it was until the end. People with problems like that usually keep them well hidden – they’re embarrassed. But again, I’m speculating. It’s just that when I hear “high stakes gambling” I start to wonder.

      • proudgrampa

        No excuses for this or any other idjit slinging a gun.

        Losing at poker is not an excuse for shooting at thousands of people.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          That goes without saying. There is no excuse for anything like this. And he undoubtedly had some severe psychological problems. There may, however, have been something that finally tipped him over the edge.

      • jowgajen

        Possible explanatory scenarios:

        1. He’s always been a sociopath but has been able to hide/control it until now.
        2. He had depression with suicidal thoughts and psychotic symptoms.
        3. He had a stroke or other cardiac event that caused a personality change.
        4. He had dementia, see above.
        5. Some combination of any or all of the above.
        6. None of these things. We will just never be able to understand.

      • marxalot

        He checked in on the 28th and camped out for days. Spending at the tables? Sure maybe, but why bring 10+ guns with you for that?

    • marxalot

      PCP? But that wouldn’t explain why he brought all those guns, and anyway, PCP would have had him charging through the crowd, not shooting down onto it.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      “High stakes gambler” actually means “person addicted to gambling.” He obviously was an addict, addicted not only to gambling, but to guns. He probably lost big and went into some insane rage. I imagine it will come out that he had anger management problems. His father was on the FBI Top Ten Most Wanted List for most of his adolescence and early twenties. Was apparently an angry sociopath.

      Meanwhile, his act is literally the very definition of a terrorist attack, but the way the media is covering it, and the gun-humpers are responding to it, is so utterly depressing. Maybe this whole democracy experiment was fatally flawed in its original design. They needed to put in things like installing a non-partisan institution that drew districts, and a non-partisan institution that counts votes on paper ballots only. They also needed to either have the electoral college reflect the popular vote, or actually insist that it be required to do its due diligence, or not exist. They needed to clarify that “free speech” did not in any way extend to lies, slander, or hate speech. And that news reporters be required to demonstrate the truth of their reports.

      I’m beginning to think we’d be much better off with a parliamentary system (and we’d have Prime Minister Hillary), and apparently, better off if we’d never separated from the UK. Maybe I should really start figuring out how to emigrate to Canada.

  • jesterpunk

    Now the right is making up an “unknown Puerto Rico police officer” to claim that Trump is right.

    http://www.snopes.com/is-san-juan-mayor-relief-efforts-trump-look-bad/

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • jesterpunk

      That is the same thing people in Oregon said, they didnt use their guns because it would make things worse and make it harder for police to know who is the shooter and who is the good guy with a gun.

      • Donkey Option

        It’s almost like, if only the bad guys can have guns, the good guys will know who to shoot and not accidentally shoot another good guy with a gun.

        Also, while good on Caleb for finally realizing that we need gun control, it really took him until this mass shooting to figure that out? It wasn’t Sandy Hook? Or San Bernadino? Or Pulse? None of those? It really required him to be in an actual mass shooting to realize that gun control is the only way to stop this? Is that what it will take for every gun nut to figure this out? I’ve never been in a gun massacre, and yet I figure it out. These people.

        • jesterpunk

          But the good guys have green dots over their heads and bad guys have red, its just like video games right? But yeah most of them dont care until it personally affects them.

          • I’ll pay attention when it becomes true that i will run faster whilst holding a knife

          • h4rr4r

            I loved counterstrike back in the day.

          • Begin Anew Day

            I prefer the 100 meter dash with scissors.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I think they’re trapped in the adolescent fantasy world of heroics, clear targets, and safe shooting platforms… All fantasy….

    • h4rr4r

      Assuming this is some country musician, his career is over.

    • Begin Anew Day

      Fuck this johnny come lately bullshit!

      They had guns there and they were AFRAID to pull them out and try to be the “good-guys-with-guns” because the Police might get the wrong idea and kill them too!!!!!!!!!!

      Right thinking people have been telling them for decades that more guns was just the wrong answer. But these sister-humping hayseeds would not hear a word of it. Not a word of it when university students were the victims. Not a word of it when graves were dug for elementary school children. Not a word of it when some fuckwit shot up a gay disco.

      But now they are going to have an epiphany! Now when they see the fruit of all their hard working ignorance finally harvested.

      You clowns planted this crop!

      Now you can tuck in your bib and EAT IT!

      • Arolpin

        No! This needs to stop. The guy finally had an epiphany, he realized he was wrong, he realized that all of the bullshit about ‘good guy with a gun’ doesn’t work out in real life, and that if ‘good guy with a gun’ is bullshit, then the rest of it is also.
        Please don’t push away people who are finally seeing the light. Bite your tongue, curse under your breath, think of the guy as a stupid fucking gun-humping asshole, whatever, but DON’T PUSH THEM AWAY. We NEED gun owners to acknowledge that there is a need for gun control.
        We have enough purity ponies, and this is literally a matter of life and death. Can we please not make the perfect the enemy of the good?

        • Begin Anew Day

          The better angels of my nature want me to agree with you.

          But the Wonkette in me needs to VENT!

          Tomorrow is another day and I hope to be as forgiving as I can be if only to honor the shades of departed loved ones.

          But these stupid fucks do not get off scott free. They have a DEBT to pay to the rest of us. They saw those children slaughtered in New Town CT. They blew that off and kept chanting their mythic visions of the good guys with guns.

          Now the knife of reality has cut them to the bone and they see the light? FINE! Welcome aboard shitheads! Glad to have you, but first you have to wash the blood and crusted flesh off your hides. We want our penitents clean and hygienic!

  • Moebym of the Returners

    I called United Blood Services. I managed to get a live person, who told me that they’ve been swamped with thousands of calls and voicemails asking about donating blood, and that appointments can’t be scheduled for the time being. He told me it may be best to wait a few days till things settle down a bit before making an appointment.

    Shit, if only I had the presence of mind to get in line at the closest donation center this morning. I couldn’t sleep, anyway.

    Also, the County Manager has declared a state of emergency.

    • HazooToo

      That is a good sign. Hopefully, this trend doesn’t stop after things calm down.

  • DainBramage

    Jimmy Carter. Great ex-President? Or Greatest ex-President?

    • janecita

      Greatest, obviously.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Bamz isn’t out of the running, and has many years left.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        And he’s off to a pretty good start… with a fabulous role model…

      • Begin Anew Day

        I wouldn’t be surprised if he won three or four MORE Nobel Prizes before he is done.

        One in physics for his pioneering time travel machine.

        One in chemistry for the continuing chain reaction with Michelle.

        One more Peace Prize when he abolishes hunger, poverty and illness through the sheer power of his personality!

  • memzilla Ω

    O/T: So I had a small victory today, h/t Palmer Report (which yeah, I know, I know). I keep one RWNJ on my FB feed just to see what they’re thinking. I don’t engage, because she’s ex-Army and too set in her ways, as are her commenters. But she posted this meme…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bc62d8a4f1f395812adfc1d324c34295a9fb866de1b1069d828ee3a954a704c2.jpg
    … which allowed me to post this response:
    “Seven of the groups this fake account is a member of are Russian. It claims to be representing the “Church of Scientology Puerto Rico” but it’s using what appears to be a personal PayPal account to raise money for PR relief. You think Scientology would let someone use their name to fundraise to a personal PayPal account? This is Kremlin disinformatsiya.”

    Willing to bet no one will respond.

    • The Scientology accounts ARE Miscavage’s personal acoounts

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        All the Scientology trolls I know have been schilling for Russia. Miscavaige must be rolling in rubles. Seriously , Scientology is part of this and they are idiots.

    • jowgajen

      I saw some similar disinformation yesterday. A post claiming to be a first hand account from San Juan with a similar message. The give away was the claim that she could see “a hospital ship from the beach”. The USS Comfort is not there yet and won’t be for a couple more days. This is easily researchable. I called out the person circulating the clearly fake post, sadly their response was quite hostile.

      • jesterpunk

        They are also pushing claims that the mayor of San Juan and the governor are blocking aid distribution to make Trump look bad at the same time. They have all their bases covered here.

    • Panika MCD

      Jim Bates? they couldn’t come up with a name that sounds more Puerto Rican? has Russia banned West Side Story?

    • Serai 1

      Besides which, it’s just words on a background. Who believes that without evidence? Christ, people are so fucking gullible.

    • Begin Anew Day

      My weekly reminder to not engage you in mind games!

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Google is now feeding Wonkette to my phone as news. “New story about Alex Jones.” with a kinky.

    The big time is here!

    In going to keep the auto correct typo.

    • jesterpunk

      Well that is better then them citing a 4chan thread earlier today.

    • mancityRed6

      that’s how I got here.

    • Yes. Keep the typo. We approve.

  • Panika MCD

    Tom Petty apparently actually “clinging to life” and LAPD has issued an apology.

    also too, for Lambsend: no, a city of 2.3 million does not usually have “Frontier Gibberish” as one of the more than 400 languages spoken. there are frontier communities in TX and most of them have Spanish as their primary language. Houston is not a frontier community. and for general reference there are about 700 languages currently in use across the planet. whatever Lambsend was thinking of as “Frontier Gibberish” is likely an English dialect used in New Mexico and Arizona.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      It is a reference to Blazing Saddles:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ke5Mr5eCF2U

    • jesterpunk

      You know its not hard to check if someone is dead before reporting it, you would think police would know the difference.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Well, I paid all my bills and have $285 left to get to the 15th, so there’s that (that’s food, sundries, gas, and whatever’s left over for candy and beer.) fml

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Remember vodka, nerf guns, and candy!

      • Meccalopolis

        Giant foam fingers, the essentials

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Hm. Well, $274 on lottery tickets, $8 on beer, and $2 on Funions should finish off that budget nicely.

  • marxalot

    I am meditating for patience along with someone from my acutal health insurance service as we attempt to get someone from the “Utlization Management” company to admit that they have a department which does the thing laid out as specifically what I need them to do in my benefits plan. This has already taken more than an hour, two transfers, and one factual inaccuracy.
    Sooo close to just laying cash on the barrelhead and fuck it to these people. I’m 100% certain the purpose of the UM company is to get you to give up on getting your care pre-approved for maximum benefit payout.

    • HazooToo

      That sounds about right. I hope you have better luck than my Dad. And steer clear of Aetna!

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Pro tip (I used to do Utilization Review for a hospital dept. — which means talking daily to the UM dept.’s of various insurance companies): Keep a log of date, time, phone number, name and title of everyone you talk to at the UM with a brief synopsis of the conversation. So later you can say things like “John Smith on this date told me that you were covering x”. Good luck and the squeaky “consumer” who doesn’t give up gets more out of said companies than ones who roll over. They make it difficult SO you’ll give up.

      • marxalot

        The good news is, once I get Case Management started with my acutal benefits provider, the surgeon/doctors have to deal with the UM, and they have people whose entire job it is to do that.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Five years of doing that was plenty for me.

  • Begin Anew Day

    Those Carter’s! That Jimmy and Ros just don’t know how to quit! Look at them smooching like teenagers in that picture.

    They say Jimmy uses his wood working skills to help Habitat For Humanity. But I think Ros gets gets her share of his wood working every once in a awhile.

    ;>))))

    • Lord Jim

      “If you know what I mean, and I think you do.”

  • JustPretendImNotHere

    I picked up one of the grands from school today and we talked about his upcoming field trip, baseball playoffs, Halloween, dogs and his newborn cousin. I may offer to pick him up every day for the rest of the year just for that 20 minutes of innocence.

  • Teto85

    President Carter is my favourite nuclear engineer.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I remember watching a PBS documentary on Three Mile Island. Carter was, sorry IS, a brave guy.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Dumbya’ was my favorite nukulur’ idjit’!

      http://nucular.sourceforge.net/bush_Nuclear_Parrot.jpg

    • altleftjohn

      Hell of a peanut farmer too.

  • Serai 1

    Another interesting and productive human-animal partnership in the making:

    Terrorists are building drones. France is fighting them with eagles.

    PETA starts screaming in 3…2…1…

  • Moebym of the Returners

    This fucker was seriously deranged. The hell was he so angry about?

    https://twitter.com/joshtpm/status/914977635146637313

    • wait! what?

      That’s kind of odd. I wonder if his thinking process was to, at first, use the explosives.

      I’m guessing somewhere down the road he just opted for guns.

      • jowgajen

        I’m gonna wait for corroboration on the explosives claim. That’s not what I heard at all this morning.

        His thinking process will probably never be understandable to us.

    • Cock Blockula

      I think they need to talk to the girlfriend. She may have insight to all of this. It might be the reason she is out of the country.

  • jesterpunk

    Fuck you Sarah Huckabee

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/10/02/white-house-now-is-not-the-time-to-talk-about-gun-control-but-if-you-look-to-chicago/?utm_term=.968f529cc02f

    White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders on Monday repeatedly deflected reporters’ questions about gun control, saying “there will certainly be a time for that policy discussion to take place, but that’s not the place that we’re in at this moment.”

    During the same media briefing, however, Sanders weighed in on the exact “policy discussion” that she said the White House would not engage in on “a day of mourning.”

    “I think one of the things that we don’t want to do is try to create laws that won’t create — or stop these types of things from happening,” Sanders said. “I think if you look to Chicago, where you had over 4,000 victims of gun-related crimes last year, they have the strictest gun laws in the country. That certainly hasn’t helped there. So, I think we have to, when that time comes for those conversations to take place, then I think we have to look at things that may actually have a real impact.”

    Chicago’s gun control laws where overturned in 2014, also the areas around Chicago still have really lax laws so people can just leave the city to get guns.

    http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2014-01-07/news/chi-citys-gun-ordinance-ruled-unconstitutional-by-federal-judge-20140106_1_gun-ordinance-gun-rights-advocates-gun-ranges

    • wait! what?

      “there will certainly be a time for that policy discussion to take place, but that’s not the place that we’re in at this moment.”

      Well, if it’s a matter of location; can we step outside and talk about it?

    • HazooToo

      If this is not the time to talk, then what the fuck is she doing holding a press conference? Also, side note: Why the hell does anyone still go there? What good does it do reporting their lies?

      • Lord Jim

        I’ve asked myself this many times. I think it’s because reporters are obsessed with “access”, even when that means merely scooping the official poop.

        • HazooToo

          It was infuriating back when they were not allowing cameras! The press had three options:

          Don’t go.
          Turn the cameras on.
          Sit there and write down the lies like good little children.

          We all know which one they picked.

      • jesterpunk

        Unfortunately Trump is the president and the dumbass shit he does affects everyone so it has to be reported on.

        • HazooToo

          That’s true, but the press conference isn’t the shit he does, it’s the lies he tells to cover the shit he does.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Someone should’ve told her to shut up if this is not the time to talk about gun violence. It’s not the goddamn guns that were killed and wounded, it was the humans. Let’s just repeal the second amendment altogether, so we can do something besides fetishize instruments of death.

      • jesterpunk

        Dont even have to repeal it, just put the whole thing back and stop ignoring the first part Scalia said doesnt matter.Then regulate the shit out of guns and if you want one you have to serve in the military.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Nah, repeal it. We should be more like Switzerland which only has a defensive force (the “well-regulated militia”) instead of invading and bombing shit for rich men’s resource hoards all over the world. We haven’t fought a just war since 1941.

          • I know some Serbian refugees who were awfully thankful we intervened in that little mess.

    • Wait wait wait, I get it now. It is only time to not talk about guns when white people just got killed with guns and you want to talk about keeping guns out of the hands of people who kill people!
      It is perfectly OK to cite, falsely, that Chicago’s strict gun laws are not helping considering how the state that surrounds it has some fucking lax as fuck gun laws. OH HEAVENS.

  • For Jimmy’s next miracle:
    1: Pence resigns in scandal

    2. Drumpf apponts Hillary because…
    3. ???
    4. Republican House confirms because…
    5. ???
    6. Drumpf is no longer president because…
    7. ???*

    8. America profits!!!!!

    * this doesn’t violate the comment rules because it could mean impeachment or resignation. YOU DON”T KNOW what I’m ideating!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Fireballs from The Rude Pundit. Money quote:

    I don’t give a fuck if he was white or brown or plaid. I don’t give a fuck if he was ISIS or Nazi or whatever. I don’t give a fuck about his brother, who keeps getting interviewed. What I do give a fuck about is that he was able to own that many guns. How the fuck does a nation allow that? How is that rational? How does it make anyone safer? It’s aiding and abetting someone’s mental illness at some point. He’s just a hoarder with a side of intense paranoia and a socio- and/or psychopath.

    http://rudepundit.blogspot.ca/2017/10/gun-crazy-las-vegas-edition.html

    • Suttree

      There is no other way to kill someone from 1700′ besides guns. (That regular people are allowed to own) Let this stop all of that stupid well outlaw knives, vehicles, and baseball bats bullshit.

      • jowgajen

        A well aimed rock at terminal velocity?

        • Suttree

          David had only a sling!

      • h4rr4r

        Trebuchet libels.

        • Suttree

          Ok no easy way that any idiot could accomplish. Asshole! :)

        • Suttree

          When will we pass a comprehensive trebuchet ban!

          • Doug Langley

            B-b-but that’s the price of freedumb!!

        • AJ Milne

          I must confess if someone _did_ actually commit a mass trebucheting, I’d have to stop for a sec, before condemning them, to geek out over the cool factor of a working trebuchet…

          (‘You are a horrible person! (whispered under breath) but cool trebuchet.’)

        • CripesAmighty
        • Three Finger Salute

          Trebuchet? What about Papyrus?

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVhlJNJopOQ

      • Three Finger Salute

        Yup. Been seeing this “let’s outlaw U-Hauls” crap conflating this with the Edmonton attack. Nobody fucking died, morans.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’ve been seeing RWNJs on the internet doing somersaults all day trying to absolve the NRA and claiming that gun control wouldn’t have prevented the shooting. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d752d2dd88a3f625b101ff5efc6d2ab77dd673b87f11e20b1cecfb3ed1ec4582.gif

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Mr. Blobfish

      Yup. Last week, while Trump was whining about black sports ballers, a white guy shot two GA police officers, killing one. Who’s the threat now?

    • jowgajen

      Technically the LV attack is probably not terrorism. There’s not yet any evidence that the shooter had a political motive, and that is part and parcel of the modern definition of terrorism.

      Which begs the question, are we ready to stop pretending that politically motivated violence is in some way more heinous and terrible than “regular” violence?

      • Suttree

        That may well be true, but are we sure that we can let our guard down against the sleeper cells of suicidal white men?

        • wait! what?

          Oh, great.

          Try saying that 5 times fast…

      • wait! what?

        If we go by this:

        1. terrorist act – the calculated use of violence (or the threat of violence) against civilians in order to attain goals that are political or religious or ideological in nature; this is done through intimidation or coercion or instilling fear.

        Then it could be that an ideology was what motivated him.

        • Suttree

          We don’t know yet.

        • jowgajen

          His brother says he wasn’t religious. We may find that he had some late in life change.

          Certainly I am concerned about white men self-radicalizing on the internet — we’ve all seen that there is a well-defined persecution narrative ready for them to adopt.

          • Suttree

            Wait for atheistic terrorist to become some horseshit spewed tomorrow.

          • Three Finger Salute

            They already do that by conflating all atheists with Stalin just to “prove a point” about why all Muslims are terrorists. Yeah, Muhammad was a screwy guy, but he’s not the only one in the Abrahamic religions. Moses was a shitty dude too. Jesus was a peacenik commie. But there’s “Christians” like Eric Rudolph and there’s Christians like Jimmy Carter. There’s “Jews” like Bibi Lebensraum and Scumbag Steve Miller, and there’s Jews like Einstein, Anne Frank and Albert Schweizer. There’s “Muslims” like Daesh guy and Bin Laden, and there’s Muslims like Malala, the Aga Khan and Muhammad Ali.

            Same with atheists. There’s Stalin (which was really more of a cult of personality) and there’s atheists like Carl Sagan. So clearly this is a defect within the individual that can’t be applied to the whole group. Heck, we joke about Florida Man a lot here, but there’s Rick Scott and there’s Tom Petty. Funny how “the left” or “liberals” get accused of groupthink and “collectivism,” and yet most of us recognize that #NotAll___ are good or bad on an individual basis?

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHbzSif78qQ

        • HazooToo

          I am starting to get the impression that the goal was the killing, and that was it. Doesn’t make it any less despicable. Really, I get the fact that only white people are immune to the terrorist label, and that IS an important thing to fix, but why do we seem to attach more importance to terrorism than a similar non-terroristic crime?

          • wait! what?

            I’m guessing because it reinforces bigotry.

          • HazooToo

            It’s been a part of the national consciousness since 9/11. Which is still the only terrorist attack that is constantly acknowledged throughout the country. It was a massive one, and extremely deadly! But it obviously changed something about us, and I thought the point was to avoid changing because of terror.

          • Serai 1

            Because terrorism isn’t just a crime against the victims. It’s a crime against everyone in the community. That’s the point of terrorism – to terrify the population. Doesn’t have to have a political motive to be terrorism.

          • HazooToo

            True. But don’t shootings like this terrorize the community, even if that was not the goal? Therefore, even though it might not be terrorism by textbook definition, it is actually just as bad. Sometimes semantics is important, sometimes it just doesn’t fucking matter.

          • Lord Jim

            I think reichwingers would very much like to broaden the definition of terrorism to “whatever makes us afraid” in order to become more draconian in law enforcement standards, so I urge caution.

          • HazooToo

            I don’t mind sticking to the textbook definition, but what I do mind is acting like terrorism tops any other crime, and that white people never do terrorist things. Dylan Roof was a terrorist. We don’t know about this guy yet, but I think he was not technically a terrorist. That said, 58 dead and over 400 wounded is pretty fucking terrifying, and it matters just as much as a terrorist attack.

          • I think it is all terrorism myself. He was angry at something or someone and decided to take as many people with him as he could.
            Sounds like an average terrorist to me.

          • HazooToo

            Yeah, honestly, all of a sudden I just am done. Right this second. What I’m talking about is meaningless, my opinion doesn’t matter, really nothing matters. Barring divine intervention in the form of a mass impeachment and resignation event, followed by imprisonment, we have a little over 3 years to go. Nothing is going to matter until it’s over. We can continue to be right, but it won’t matter. I just ran out of gas and now I’m going to start looking up funny pictures to share. Carry on debating without me, please, sweet Jen.

          • Serai 1

            It matters here because it’s fucking time this country realized that terrorism is terrorism, not matter WHAT race the perpetrator is. If we get all “meh” about the designation, we’re handing the victory to those who insist that terrorism can ONLY be committed by people who aren’t white. It’s EXACTLY what they want – the more inches we cede, the more they get to structure the world according to their rotten view of humanity. We’ve done enough ceding to the dumbass techbros. I think we have to harden the line when it comes to racist social engineering fuckwits.

          • HazooToo

            Agreed. At the time I posted that, I had just hit rock bottom on motivation and hope. By tomorrow, I’ll be fine again and calling it terrorism because that’s what it was. 3 hours ago tho, I had no faith in humanity whatsoever. I apologize for any confusion or annoyance you felt at my weird rambling.

          • Serai 1

            ‘Sokay, it’s fucking easy to get like that. Honestly, I’m like that a lot of the time these days. But I’m also bloodyminded, so it evens out. :)

          • HazooToo

            Thank fuck for Taurus’ stubbornness and irrational amount of patience, or I would have gone mad several times by now. <3

      • Beanz&Berryz

        They say they haven’t seen a political motive, but, that level of intentional carnage is hard to be apolitical… WE might not have a predefined political niche for this shooting, but on this scale, Everything is Politics…

        • notaten

          I’ve seen guys that look like this guy get Unreasonably upset over stupid things like not getting a comp to a concert that he felt he was owed. I could totally see this happening because he wanted a ticket to the concert and didn’t get one. Reason, logic, appropriate response, all can fly out the window for an habitual gambler. I don’t know any more than anyone else, but it wouldn’t surprise me. I once saw a guy try to choke a pit boss because he didn’t get a comp to a chicken wing restaurant.

      • jesterpunk

        Articles like this say it was terrorism under Nevada law

        http://www.ajc.com/news/national/was-the-las-vegas-gunman-terrorist-under-nevada-law-possibly-under-federal-law-not-exactly/S3Gz798YQGe9mw1BUyek4O/

        Any law splainers here that can comment on this?

        https://www.leg.state.nv.us/NRS/NRS-202.html#NRS202Sec4415

        NRS 202.4415  “Act of terrorism” defined.

        1.  “Act of terrorism” means any act that involves the use or attempted use of sabotage, coercion or violence which is intended to:

        (a) Cause great bodily harm or death to the general population; or

        (b) Cause substantial destruction, contamination or impairment of:

        (1) Any building or infrastructure, communications, transportation, utilities or services; or

        (2) Any natural resource or the environment.

        2.  As used in this section, “coercion” does not include an act of civil disobedience.

        (Added to NRS by 2003, 2947)

    • AJ Milne

      Speaking as a White (North) American man, I’ve never really felt that safe amongst us.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    It’s been an incredibly shitty day, but I managed to pass the NJ Property Insurance exam. Have to go get fingerprinted tomorrow and submit my applications to the state.

  • I’m thinking it doesn’t feel too bad this lovely evening. Like nothing at all.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TlBTPITo1I

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Remember when Chicago had a bad weekend and a lot of people were shot and killed and Trump was threatening to send in the feds to cut that shit out? Now it’s thoughts prayers etc don’t disparage the gun.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      It’s almost as if he wasn’t threatening us over guns at all.
      Can’t imagine what else it could be, hmmm…

  • Scooby

    So it’s Rocket Man v. Racket Man.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Today is Wrongful Conviction Day, so good organizations like the Innocence Project are tweeting out about flawed science, false accusations, and bad eyewitness identification. Michelle Malkin is being an apologist for convicted rapist/former cop Daniel Hotlzclaw. https://twitter.com/michellemalkin/status/914947705339858944

    • Shanzgood

      THE Holtzclaw case? Weren’t there over a dozen?

      • tomamitai

        Yeah, and they got more than just DNA on him, his vehicle’s GPS history showed he was at the scenes where the assaults took place and police department computer logs showed he’d run record checks on some of the victims just prior to the attacks. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daniel_Holtzclaw#Criminal_charges_and_conviction

        • ariel_gee_398

          It’s just disgusting – people are sharing stories of people who spent 20+ years in jail. Sister Helen Prejean is talking about the innocent people she witnessed the executions of. And fucking Michelle Malkin is being a rape apologist.

      • marxalot

        One case, multiple indictments.

    • Serai 1
    • Because cop, right?

      • ariel_gee_398

        And the people accusing him were poor WOC.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Music for today’s sad events. It’s worth noting that a recording of this
    music is hurtling through space, beyond our solar system, on Voyager I.

    https://youtu.be/5xzYOnZJ010

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      B♭ major

      The late Beethoven quartets I still attempt to fathom after decades. I hope our alien friends will find them as among humankind’s greatest expressions of our fragile and tentative existence.

      • Joe Beese

        (translated from Alien-ese)

        “Eh. I prefer his early work.”

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Also too worth noting: the Miro Quartet is performing Opus 130 this Friday, in an adorable little church in the adorable little town of Sebastopol, California, just 10 miles west of Santa Rosa. Tickets are available!

  • Doug Langley

    Boss was actually civil at work today. Friendly, even. Feel like saying “Who are you and what did you do to Boss?” Our assignment: move the files around to make room cuz running out of space in one area and got space elsewhere. Now we’re talking THOUSANDS of files in a BIG room and we’re – no, can’t think about it. Can’t talk about it. I am EXHAUSTED.

    Please – is there no other job to deliver me from this? Haven’t heard from the web design thing.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      fuck, hang in there buddy. Darkest before the dawn, good things…those that wait, etc.

      Speaking of which, what exactly are you all filing all damn day? How are there thousands of paper files on ANYTHING these days? Must be a medical office or something. (Not trying ot out you, just fucking curious)>

      • Doug Langley

        It’s a bank. Mortgages, car loans, you name it. Massive amounts of dox for anything and everything. Actually, the files are logged onto the computer so we can check any confusing or missing papers. And there are tons.

        Hey, what are YOU talking about? I thought legal depts drown in paperwork?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          ah, makes sense. Those promissory notes get long.

          we historically have mucho papeles – but the shift is to digital. Younger attorneys embrace it, older ones fight it just as hard.

          Now, i laughed and laughed that the ill-fated law job claimed to paperless when there was much paper about. But we trashed, shredded or recycled shit, almost everything was scanned and saved on the servers. (Certain documents, like medical records or depositions, MUST be kept on paper and unopened, in case a dispute arises and the judge needs to look at the original, so you can’t get entirely away from it).

          being a lefty gov’t department, there is much stress and guilt over printing things (my computer defaults to 2 sided printing, which drives me up the fucking wall), but some attorneys, like the one I’m doing a project with, do shit old school.

          We have this appeal to the TX supreme court we’re working together on – every day since the appeal was authorized, the pile of papers and books on her desk gets higher and wider.

          Me, I’m almost ENTIRELY digital. I can’t fucking stand paper – unless I’m reading something on a smoke break.

  • There seems to be a connection between the purchase of multiple high powered weapons and mental illness.

    One would think something could be done about that. For crissakes, we limit the number of beasts that can be killed, the number of fish that can be caught, but we can’t limit the arsenal of the hunter?

    • wait! what?

      If only hoarders of guns would see the same value in bullets; then they’d never shoot again.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That’d infringe his freedoms beyond being well-regulated

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      From now on, only 5 victims per assault rifle will be allowed.

    • Cock Blockula

      Make bullets out of 14K gold. No one would want to lose one on a potshot and few could afford them.

      Of course, absolutely no good for killing werewolves, since only silver can do that.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        this has been similar to my theory – we can’t outlaw guns? fine, outlaw the fucking ammo and turn them into paperweights.

        You wanna hunt or kill? Make your own goddamn bullets.

        • Arolpin

          It’s actually pretty easy to do, at least if you already have the brass. It’s not a terrible idea, because it would force people to actually have a clue what they are doing, but when the 20th kid dies because Bubba Sr. put too much powder into an old, worn-out shell, and it explodes in the kid’s face, then the gunhumpers will talk about how ammo control is killing 10s of people a year, and why do we want to see people die.

    • Three Finger Salute

      There really is no reason to own a gun. They’re weapons of mass destruction. Period. Conflating shootings and violence with mental illness only serves to stigmatize the mentally ill whether they are gun owners or not. In fact they are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. The 2A is obsolete and needs to go. The U.S. is a terrorist organization that needs to be fully disarmed.

  • Sheepshagger

    Pro tip and completely hypothetical situation not based on real life at all not one bit: if you find yourself in trouble with the police and want to use the text messages on your phone to demonstrate your innocence, make sure the text messages relating to your thriving drug dealing business aren’t in plain view.

    • HazooToo

      Nother pro tip: If you have a thriving drug business, be the most well-behaved and clean nosed motherfucker on the planet earth in every other thing you do. Avoid trouble with the police like the plague. This may not be possible if you are black, unfortunately.

      • marxalot

        And use a burner phone.

        • this. Sorta thought that was drug Tsar 101

          • Arolpin

            Hell, just watch the first two seasons of The Wire. I know some people thought it was unrealistic that these drug dealers would have these elaborate codes, but the people who ran the drug trade were the same people who would be running successful companies had they been born into the middle class. The smart ones are the ones who stay alive and out of jail (though not forever, obviously).

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      (pulls out notebook)
      don’t…note…thriving…drug business.

      Thanks.

  • Joe Beese

    As a crusty old punk I am not ashamed at all to admit I loved Tom Petty. He was the Joe Strummer of the American Clash writing workman-like songs about life and love and hurt. I got the news of his passing today while picking up some mushrooms at the local Whole Foods and I can say, along with the news from Vegas, that it was the first time I have ever broke down sobbing in a produce aisle. A dreadlocked stock kid just hugged me and we cried it out. What a world. Now off to home where I will play his music to my two young sons until they beg me to stop.

    http://www.metafilter.com/169746/Into-the-Great-Wide-Open#7183112

    • You go Joe. That is the right thing to do. My tears reflect a Blue Ridge Mtn. sunset. We mourn and weep with you.

      • Joe Beese

        That’s a quote; not me. I just thought it was movingly written.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I had the good fortune of seeing Tom and the HB’s the night after their first appearance on SNL. Damn the Torpedoes was out and “Refugee” was in the charts. Got a chill just thinking about that night. For some damn reason all the videos are blocked by NBC and they don’t have it post on their own damn site.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Talib Kweli’s a fan. If you’re talented and a mensch, you transcend genres. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/58b63152f428c5a4265fc52f58ccafd958b62f918963a29483f0e3b096cab4fc.png

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        wyclef was big into old school musicians, having heard them in his house.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          I’m still occasionally surprised when I’m listening to hip hop and catch a sample from some deep-cut classic rock jam.
          To a talented dj, good music is good music!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            yup…on an old old record, wyclef has the dudes from earth wind and fire gueststar. It’s pretty fucking cool.

          • My husband experienced an altered state in the company of the fellows from Earth Wind and Fire.
            He does not recall much of the experience.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            nice!
            was it earthy windy or fire-ry?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Earth Wind and Fire are the best!

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • SayItWithWookies

      In the photo — is that Zinke’s wife, wrapped in the giant fur that looks like some trapper wiped out a whole river full of beavers? They probably took the private jet so the a/c could be set at fur-locker temperatures. I hope they miss Versailles while they’re languishing in prison.

  • jowgajen

    So interesting comments from my wife, the doctor (of philosophy in Psychology).

    She says that there is a currently understood model where white folks begin to grapple with race. The following is me paraphrasing some shit that’s probably a lot more complex than I am describing:

    1. We ignore it, race doesn’t matter it’s not a determinate. (Blinders phase)
    2. We begin to realize that in fact we do enjoy unfair advantages based solely upon our race. (Oh shit phase)
    3. We rationalize that difference. ie: it’s how things should be, other races have some inherent deficiency (Fucking racist phase)
    4. We gradually expose ourselves to others of different races and begin to demand to be taught about their racial experience. (Really annoying white person phase)
    5. We start to understand our positioning within a greater context of race, class and ethnicity. (“woke” phase)
    6. We take social action to change the paradigm.

    Of course, the obvious statement is that R’s are “stuck” at step 3 right now, and that’s *almost* a hopeful idea. Maybe there will be some shift to 4 eventually?

    But the less obvious observation that my wife pointed out, is that perhaps current events and current R ideologies have moved a lot of people who would have been forever in phase 1 (oblivious) up to phase 3 (racist asshole). And that is an interesting thought I wanted to share.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      the best thing ever is growing up in a diverse area. You age realizing no one race has no one characteristic, and some percentage of every race sucks.

      (Except for the white people dancing thing, that’s totally true. ; p)

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I started at 2 and jumped to 5.

  • SisterArtemis

    OT, because a stupid bad thing on top of actual tragically bad things just seals the fucking day for me.

    The house I rent is up for sale, which is its own kind of frustration, as I am a very private person when it comes to having strangers in my house, and yet now I get to have strangers traipsing through my place on a regular basis (4 buyers just this morning). Yesterday, the fucking real estate agent put my GODDAM CELL PHONE NUMBER up online so I had people calling me for hours to see the house – excuse me, is that my job? do I get a cut? I had him take that down, so at least the calls stopped.

    Then, just now, I looked at the listing and there are pictures, of course, but one of them is of my bedroom. With my personal stuff all showing (not underwear, but pictures, special trinkets, etc.) On one hand, I get it, and on the other hand, I feel fucking invaded right now. I am hating this. Petty shit, compared to 50-60 people losing their lives, petty compared to so many things going on, petty compared to Tom Petty leaving this mortal coil. BUT JESUS DAMN FUCK SHIT PISS I AM HATING THIS FUCKING DAY!

    • :hugs: I had that happen one time. We were renting, from a friend of a friend, in Iowa of all places and we knew the place was on the market. But there were no takers
      A year passed and landlady is all you is such good renter, we’ll just use the old lease and not do a new one and I will take the house off the market!
      five months later we were working in Michigan on a site and get a certified fucking lawyer letter that we had 2 weeks to move, she sold the house.
      Then she tried to nail us not only for the security deposit, but for other damages.

      • SisterArtemis

        Fortunately, the landlord had rented to us before when we got the place in 2000, so took no security deposit, and actually LOWERED the rent for us. That said, I am renting a two bedroom house (a kind of falling down house, but very livable) with full basement for $500 a month. That’s going to be pretty hard to replace.

        • I understand. We’re paying about 550 here for a 3 br mobile, but we got land and a big ass shed and neighbor dog.
          Hubby kept wanting to move because /mobile home but anything comparable was like 1200..
          So now we are saving up to buy, maybe, if we are lucky and something falls outta the sky

          • SisterArtemis

            Long term, I am moving in with my partner, who lives about 2 hours away from me, and this house has been my part-time house for a long time. But this is the one where most of my stuff is, so lots of changes (and reduction in quantities of Stuff) are/is happening. It’s just all awkward and annoying.

      • Suttree

        I always assume that my security deposit is gone as soon as I hand it to the landlord. So no I am not cleaning shit because when I moved in the place was a mess and I had to clean it.

        • If the place was a mess, that is so. But otherwise I’ve always gotten my deposit back.
          Even with cats. Just that one time she tried to nails us for leaving stuff there (her stuff she had left there when she moved out before we moved in) for the damage to a carpet I had rolled up and stored when we first got there, because tacky and gross, and for removing a dog run that never, as far as I know, actually existed.
          All while she had sold the place mind you.

          • Suttree

            When Lizzie moved she got nothing back. We had cleaned rather well. Not eat off of the floors well, but this building is pre-war. It wasn’t perfect when she moved in. So the fact that the place could use a quick once over meant entire deposit gone. nothing nada. If we had another day we could have done that and then still have not gotten shit back.

          • I woulda sued. Fair wear is an actual thing and don’t ever sign a lease without it

    • Three Finger Salute

      The landlord (or whoever it is you rent from) didn’t give you a head’s up that, “hey, we’re going to have a showing, so I’m just letting you know just in case you want to get some of your stuff out before prospective buyers come in”? Or when you say “the house you rent” do you mean you rent it to other people? Because the real estate agent should have given you that head’s up. That’s awful. I

      ‘m a very private person too, and one of my greatest fears is having anything even remotely “personal” up on the Internet. Probably stems from school when they stopped publishing the honor roll on account of it served as an enemies list for the bullies to target the smart kids. If I was killed in one of these tragedies, I wouldn’t even want my name released to the media.

      Digressing a little here but just saying I can totally empathize with what you’re saying. Sorry to hear about that. Clandestine spy hugs.

      • SisterArtemis

        Nope, I knew the house would be shown, and the agent has been pretty good about working with my schedule at the studio, and that I don’t want a lock-box on the door so he can let himself in. But currently, I have no where to move stuff (even self-storage places are booked out for weeks on open units of any size), so packing has been slow till I get that straightened out.

    • grindstone

      I used to own a rental property. There are laws governing your privacy and fair use of what you pay for, whether the owner puts is up for sale or not.

      • SisterArtemis

        Yes, I know. So far everything has been fairly smooth, but some invasion of privacy is bound to happen, and it’s just very uncomfortable for me.

        • grindstone

          I’m sorry you’re going through this. Just know you have some rights to push back if it gets really invasive.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Heading out the door for now on this note:

    https://twitter.com/ChrisMurphyCT/status/914883285473513472

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    My head hurts. I just came from the jail, where a cop told me that we can’t regulate firearms because Constitution.
    “Wait. What? It would be unconstitutional?”
    “I believe in the Second Amendment.”
    “You know the second and third goddamned words of the Second Amendment are “well” and “regulated”, right? Right?!?!?!?”
    “Well, I guess we’re just gonna have to agree to disagree.”

    • GRAAAHHH I HATE THAT BLOODY PHRASE SO HARD
      No. We do NOT have to agree to disagree. You are wrong! Not correct! Wrong wrong wrong!
      wtf

      Edit: Not you, Matt, in case that was not clear

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        exactly.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      And the only place in the Constitution that talks about well-regulated…

      He’s a fucking moran, with a badge and a gun… just great…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Don’t you have to have a functioning IQ to be a cop?”

    • Raan

      No, person inexplicably issued a firearm, you are not going to Woolie your way out of this argument.

      • Usually the cops are all sorts of FOR taking military hardware out of the hands of civilians.
        This one must be a True Believer

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          I’ve noticed over the last few years that the cops I’m around are increasingly becoming gun fetishists. Ten, twelve years ago, they were mostly for keeping semi-auto rifles off the streets and really anti-concealed carry. Now, the (mostly) younger cops love ’em some guns.

          • Ah, well, there is your problem then.
            I know my bro is all about having guns for me, less for thee. Well, those people. You know.

            Why no, I do not speak to my brother regularly, how did you guess?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      ffs,

    • jesterpunk

      Dumb question but isnt he technically right because SCOTUS said the first part doesnt really count in Heller v DC?

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/District_of_Columbia_v._Heller#Decision

      • Bear arms does not mean we get to have the same toys the army has.
        See also: Tanks and rocket launchers

      • mancityRed6

        kinda sorta, but that decision can also be changed

        • jesterpunk

          Good luck with that with the current court.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Nah. Regulations have been consistently upheld by lower courts. States can regulate, they just can’t categorically ban.

        • jesterpunk

          Thanks, I have heard way too many gun nuts, the NRA and politicians say that means they cant regulate guns because its unconstitutional.

          • well. NRA and gun nuts. So….yeah.

          • jesterpunk

            And right wing politicians, I know its redundant right?

          • I honestly believe about half right wing politicians, if not a full 3/4s of them do not believe the shit they spout. They simply spout it to rile up the base and keep in power.
            In a way, they disgust me more than the True Believers. At least the TBs are deranged assholes and not doing it through calculated callousness.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Misdirection and outright dishonesty are the NRA’s stock-in-trade.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        as I understand it, that is considered one of the most piss poor decisions since Dred Scott.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah I dont understand that logic, they somehow decided that was the only amendment with extra meaningless words.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            I’ve never read it, but one of my profs was telling me about it once.

            If you spend a lot of time reading other court decisions, it gets even more ridiculous. They parse words worse than pedantic college professors. Yeah, sometimes they come up with their own tests (think 1st trimester in roe v. wade, or miranda), but quoting the dictionary is not unheard of. Then, they’re supposed to read the thing as written. Even then, if it’s vague or ambiguous, they’re supposed to look at the legislative intent.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            p.s. I forgot where, but there was a court decision in the last few months that turned on the use of a comma. The ole oxford comma or not debate.

            That prefacing phrase and it’s comma weren’t fucking optional assholes!

        • Paul

          I dunno. Bush v Gore was insane. You have to read the dissents. The USSC did not, repeat, DID NOT even have jurisdiction.

          Then, the relief sought was an injunction. Look at your Black’s Law Dictionary. It should explain an injunction is used in emergencies to prevent harm to a party. The “harm” to Bush was not assuming the presidency, yet the re-counts were still going on! So an emergency measure based on a blatant falsehood tossed the election. That fucker was not president. Then OR thereafter. It was a coup by the court. And his second “victory” was no more legitimate. Ohio was delivered by Mr. Diebold and his marvelous voting machines.

          As promised by Mr. Diebold, head of the republican party in Ohio.

          Oh, major fuckery was afoot. Way back then elections were stolen electronically so it’s a good guess not much has changed. The thieves have refined their methods but enforcement has not. For republicans (and Uncle Vlad), that’s a feature, not a bug.

          Warning: Rage and disgust may be triggered. Respect for the rule of law may be diminished. But read those dissents. At least Stevens’. They are at the top of the page in either PDF or HTML.

          https://www.law.cornell.edu/supct/html/00-949.ZPC.html

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ah good point. I forgot about that one.
            I was told, here I think, that injunctions are for “bulldozers are on the way” situations. (we’ll be seeking one in a case).

            But I will read those…I have heard that one was full of pretzel-style logic as well.

          • Paul

            Exactly. Immediate irreparable injury. The only bulldozer in that case was blessed dead Scalia. Fuck him and his minions.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ours is going to be based on a public health risk…course the required waiting period to take over jurisdiction undercuts that a bit, but I’ll worry about that later.

      • SayItWithWookies

        The new part of the Heller decision was that the right to own guns was ruled as an individual right and not a collective right of a militia for its members to own guns. Of course, originalist Scalia decided that some of the amendment just wasn’t there, because it was inconveniently in the way of his preconceived notion.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          In happier news, Scalia is still dead!

          • well whadda ya know, God sometimes aims correctly.

          • foiled again

            Evidently Franco’s up and running again.

    • Serai 1

      Next time give him Jim Jeffries’ answer:

      “We can’t change the Second Amendment!”
      “Yes, we can. It’s called an amendment.”

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        to think, the right to free speech was a goddamn amendment. I’ve been thinking about the 14th off an on cause it comes up in class – you’re born here and you are a citizen. Period. End of fucking discussion.
        And that was the 14th time we amended the constitution.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          The reason it’s an amendment is a really good reason, though — a lot of smart people held the view that Hamilton espoused in Federalist 84: that there ought be no bill of rights because to include one would create a sense that rights not specifically protected from the government could be infringed without being violative of civil rights.

          • Those liberal philosophers were not that dumb, turns out.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i was trying to remember what my u.s. gov’t prof said about the bill of rights. Basically they were left out as part of a deal to get the constitution passed (cause first things first). IIRC, there was much stress and drama between the northern and southern states back from the beginning.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      How does he feel about silencers and armor-piercing bullets?

      • Suttree

        And freedom for everyone to buy body armor?

    • Suttree

      Well where is my bazooka and my M1 Abrams tank asshole? I would like to see that dumbass shit if I was rolling down the road towards him with that.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I am amazed that we can regulate speech on the radio, on television, even on the freakin’ Internet, none of which existed when the First Amendment was written. But we cannot do a damn thing with the Second despite going from single-shot muzzleloaders to AR-15s and high-penetration rifle rounds.

    • Stulexington

      “well I guess we’re gonna have to agree to disagree.”
      no.

  • mancityRed6

    so, can we have another president cool enough to wear an Allman Brothers shirt?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      I noticed that.

  • Raan
    • gallbladder

      What about licorice that tastes like explicit descriptions?

    • Suttree

      I hate licorice but yet I still do shots of Jagermeister. WTF?

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Anise

        • Suttree

          Anise and cough medicine that tastes like licorice.

    • miss_grundy

      Now I want to eat a box of Good n Plenty….

      • gallbladder

        Or a bag of Goodies.

  • rosenbomb

    UGH. I just read the most idiotic thing on faceplace. I can’t even with this lack of logic. I don’t want to bother taking a screenshot and blacking out names so this is what happened:

    Faceplace friend: guns are bad, call your congressmen, blah blah blah

    Some bitty: If you knew anything about the black market and the availability of guns for criminals you’d understand why disarming innocent civilians is a bad idea. We don’t need better gun control laws. Guns are tools. It’s all about how they are used. Cars are tools and sometimes the driver kills people but I don’t see anyone stopping them from buying another car after theirs gets totaled.
    Me: STFU you incompetent sack of human skin (I didn’t actually say this, I was polite and pointed out the issues in her LACK of logic)

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Reply with the classic Jim Jefferies gun control bit. There’s two parts

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rR9IaXH1M0

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      What black market. You can buy them anywhere.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Seriously, though, Jim Jefferies does a good job of refuting the “black market” argument.

      • rosenbomb

        I will listen as soon as I get home from work! (I am clearly not being a good employee right now, whoops)

    • Great! Let us legalize drugs then since they are so readily available on the black market!

      • rosenbomb

        Haha, that’s a good one. I like how her metaphor is not fully aligned or functional. Guns=cars, people=people, but she only mentions the car getting totaled, nothing about the people. Sounds like she’s worried about the well-being of the guns here.

    • Stulexington

      If assault weapons are so easy to get on the black market, why haven’t they found their way north across the longest undefended border in the world?

    • Alternative Dog

      If she knew anything about black market guns, she’d know that the majority of them come from “responsible gun owners” who refuse to keep their firearms in a safe and have them stolen in one of the thousands of home burglaries that happen every day.

      • tomamitai

        Lots are “stolen” from people who “forget” to report the theft until the gun shows up at a crime scene and is traced back to them. There was a really suspicious story a few years back about a gun maker’s employee getting caught selling guns that “disappeared” from the factory without anybody noticing that they were shipping a lot fewer guns than the factory’s parts usage would indicate.

        • lots of black market guns are responsible owners selling them to buddies, friends, friends of friends, etc.
          It is ridiculously easy to get whatever you want

    • mackafritz

      Guns aren’t tools. They are weapons. The purpose of a gun is to kill things. That’s not the reason you drive a car.

      • foiled again

        It’s one of the reasons guns suck- they only do that one thing.

        • Aw you are just not using your imagination! They can also ventilate your house!
          And uhm. Make thousands of Julienne pulp!

          • foiled again

            All cheese- Swiss cheese! Yeah, you’re right.

      • grindstone

        Me: the only purpose of a gun is to take a life.
        Coworker: no, the purpose of a gun is to save a life.
        Me: …….

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Chris Rock on Bullet Control:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZrFVtmRXrw

  • Classic SNL reference Dok.

  • Juan de Fuca

    O/T

    Q: What do you call a Star Wars themed Italian sports car?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c08726589e98eb4512e6850cb6645a24d80ff67cadb85b405cc7828021d03977.png

    A: A Lambo Calrissian. AMIRITE?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      You call a tow truck.

      • I would call it “Waste of money that could have fed a family of four for a year” myself

        • foiled again

          Oh, my- well, well, well more than a year. Don’t look it up. You’ll be angry. And this is coming from a Car-American.

    • Joe Beese

      The Millennium Falcone

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Can it make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      fucking awesome is what I call it!

  • Clay Denton

    If only people of color would start buying AR-15s we’d have gun control in no time.

  • marxalot

    Weird spambot post about a “wine lottery” which I found very intriguing got deaded. :

    • jowgajen

      Instantly deaded! I tried to make fun of it and couldn’t post!

      • Bots are getting more crafty. Self deletion so no ban hammering. Which is not how it actually works methinks….

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        A screenshot was reposted in this thread if you want to mock it really badly.

    • I was gonna helpfully let him know he spelled his user name wrong

      • marxalot

        Also the story of his husband leaving him for one lady and then coming back could have used some more detail, if you know what I mean.

        • Right? Where was the turgidness of the situations? We are highly evolved brains round these here parts. We need all available info. For science

    • rosenbomb

      I’m not gonna lie, that post actually made me laugh. It was a welcome disruption into this shit day

    • HazooToo

      I am going to repost that in pic form for proper fun and laughter, hold tight.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I like that the Great Prophet of God uses G-mail. Seems fitting.

    • foiled again

      Better that than a line wottery.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      it wouldn’t allow me to post my response, so I’ll post it here:

      the great prophet of god couldn’t do anything for the 573 people in vegas? or hte people in puerto rico? or miami? or houston? or haiti? Or north korea?

      Your great prophet needs to get on the damn ball.

  • Panika MCD

    it looks like there’s not going to be much public testimony today so when this is over, should I read through all the Wonkicles today?

    • jesterpunk

      No, just stick to this nice time article.

    • Depends. How is your stock of booze?

      • gallbladder

        (cracks open another)

      • Panika MCD

        2 beers and half a fifth of bourbon.

    • HazooToo

      NO.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      No. Go throw Bluie Louie for CJ when you get home. Much more therapeutic.

      • Panika MCD

        I’m working from home. Alien Brother got me interblags for the apt. so I could keep JJP. CJ is in my lap.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I always miss a good part of a wonk day… so everything is new… almost never do backsiez of more than a page

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    The prevailing narrative seems to be simultaneously enshrining people who died as heroic victims of a terrible tragedy AND belittling the nanny-state snowflakes who actually want to take action to try to mitigate this phenomenon of mass shootings. This country’s becoming schizophrenic.

    • Yeah but we’re fucking right, and they fucking know it.
      The fucking assholes

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        This is how fucking perverse this “I do/say it just because it pisses off liberals” mentality has become. It is the death of any rational national conversation on the matter.

        • foiled again

          I guess now that the nose is off the face they’ll move on to other features.

    • ariel_gee_398

      They’re just afraid we’ll run out of heroes if we stop shooting people dead for no god damned reason.

    • Juan de Fuca

      The way I personally see the stages of grief in America:

      1) Display an immediate outpouring of sympathy and empathy
      2) Share stories of heroism
      3) Do little if nothing to prevent future tragedies and in most cases, keep repeating same mistakes.
      4) Consider invading Iraq again.

      Lather, rinse, repeat. And I’m normally an optimist.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s obviously too soon to be talking about how to prevent future tragedies, libtard. We’re supposed to wait until it’s too late.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      You would have thought that this happening at a country concert, the narrative would change. That’s what I get for thinking.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Silly you.

  • Joe Beese

    THE PROPHET IKEHEDU WILL NOT BE SILENCED!

    • mackafritz

      The Great Prophet of God is great!

      • Joe Beese

        I LIKE IKEHEDU

        • jowgajen

          Great title for a new Netflix anime series.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          He’s so much better than Adlaihedu.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            But does IKEHEDU have an Illinois expressway named after him, hennngggh?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            A prophet without a turnpike…

    • Master Contrail Program

      Tell me more of your wine lottery, Ikehedu: Great Prophet of God.

    • DrBigHead

      This wine lottery thing cracked me up. Received my alumni magazine yesterday. Feature article was about an economics professor who specialized in the appeal of pyramid schemes. This one was her prime example.

      Coincidence?? I think not!

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      What thread did this post show up in?

  • Doug Langley

    Space Tacos, I know you’re out there! How was your day, I need some good news?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      A Bromance is brewing! I do like reading you guys discussions of your exploits.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      hey buddy!
      I didn’t work today! I have this day off to go to a midday class, but I fucked off from that as well.

      Over the weekend, I did find a person we’re interested in has been a very naughty boy before…for like 10 years. So that’s helpful.

      • Doug Langley

        “Didn’t work today” Excuse me earthling, but . . . what the hell is this “didn’t work today” thing??????

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          heh. shrug, they ain’t paying me and I have a minimum number of hours that’s less than 40, so I’ll take what I can goddamn get!

          (I am so very profane today).

          FWIW, our office is fucking insane about charity events. House paintings, trash pickups, walks, rides, and runs for various things. I get at least one email a day on the subject.

          It’s really awful, but I was thinking of going to one yesterday cause the uber boss was going and I want, nay, NEED, these people to hire me.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    A middling President who wanted to legalize weed, but the best Ex-President since Herbert Hoover.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Give Trump credit for one thing – he’s reminding some of us of our history and just how awful Herbert Hoover was as President. The problem is the only people paying attention are those who didn’t vote for the dipshit.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        So true. Hoover did become a great Ex-president, co-ordinating all the needs of Western Europe (food, Medicine, Housing-relocation, etc.).

  • miss_grundy

    What a weird day. Monty Hall and Tom Petty died the same day.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Sometimes I wonder why we bother to have any laws at all…you know, people will just break them anyway.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I clapped back with that when someone went “Well, no law is 100% effective”
      NO. FREAKING. KIDDING.
      But a law that stops, say 75% of the people is better than no law at all.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I know. Why wash clothes or bathe. You’re just going to get dirty again.

        • ariel_gee_398

          And don’t get me started on vacuuming.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            The best approach to vacuuming is to never get started.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            As long as you can maintain an even mat of filth and dog hair, it almost looks like carpet!

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          this is the cornerstone of my theory on why making the bed is a waste of fucking time.

        • Every child of mine has heard this 1 billion times:
          “why wipe your ass, you’re gonna shit again”

  • BetsyBleedingheart

    One of my clients might be getting a Habitat for Humanity House sometime in the next year or two. I could not be more excited for her.

    • mancityRed6

      I knew some people who had one in Lawrence. it was nicer than the house I was living in.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        The NFL player that gave his week’s pay to the service workers lived in one growing up, sponsored by Warrick Dunn, a now retired player.

  • Saxo the Grammarian
  • HazooToo

    The deleted Wine Lottery post, for all to be heart-lightened by! Come here to do your Wonky-snarky thing! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/adc35f4747fee05e3f7b723f7ef9993061c77ff800425f39d932c4ae1dc6ccc9.png

    • Raan

      Sounds to me like the liquor wore off.

      Or kicked in.

      • HazooToo

        Kicked in the skull and made off with the brain? Yes.

        • Raan

          That’ll happen.

    • Joe Beese

      A Google search on “prophet ikehedu” reveals that Mr. Houston has been… ah… spreading the gospel far and wide.

      • HazooToo

        Well, of course! If you know how to wine lottery, it would be selfish to keep that sort of thing to yourself!

    • Master Contrail Program

      “And lo, thou shalt know my Great Prophet Ikehedu by his Facebook page, G-mail address and many scathing Yelp! reviews.”

      • Joe Beese

        Ikehedu redeemed our sins by suffering scathing Yelp! reviews.

        • Master Contrail Program

          All I know is Upper Cove Island, Canada sounds like a fun place for fun people. Judging by the exact same testimonials given by the scores of totally legit people a quick googling revealed anyway.

    • Raan

      You know what? I’mma do it. I’m going ask Ikehedu to help me with the plot of an episode of I Dream of Jeannie.

      • HazooToo

        Reach for your dreems! The Great Prophet of God will help you succeed but it might take four days!

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      1/10 – no offer of Land Rovers? Or obscene amounts of money? Weak.

      • Joe Beese

        Have I ever mentioned how much $$$ my mother-in-law is making working part time at home?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Upper Island Cove, NL has a population of 1,774. Shouldn’t be hard to figure out whether this phony “beneficiary of the profit” actually exists. My money’s on no. Only a loonie would send any Timbits their way.

      • HazooToo

        How on earth do you sleep at night, doubting the testimony of Mrs JULIAN HOUSTON, who is clearly from Canada and nowhere else?!

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • DainBramage
  • Joe Beese

    Upon reading that MTV hopes to revive its flagging fortunes by bringing back TRL, I propose a better idea.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08P-3NO4D-Q

    • jesterpunk
      • Joe Beese

        I could do a version of “TV Party” with just MTV shows.

        “NO… 120 Minutes! NO… House of Style!”

        • alpacapunchbowl

          120 Minutes was a lifeline for weird kids who lived too far out in the burbs to be able to pick up the signal from college station WMSE. Growing up, MKE radio was pretty much classic rock, cock rock, country and (my mainstream radio preference) oldies.

          • Joe Beese

            (Suddenly nostalgic about Throwing Muses)

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            120 Minutes was a great show for weird kids everywhere. Much of alternative music was regional until and unless a band got a record deal. That show spread the magic around.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        120 Minutes with Matt Pinfield. But then, I no longer have cable. Hell, most Millennials I know don’t have cable but stream everything.

        • jesterpunk

          That works but only with him.

      • Suttree

        Riki Rachtman! I used to always stay up late with my older sister and her friends and rock out to this.

        • jesterpunk

          I loved the episode with Nirvana, they had so much fun with it and Kurt’s delivery was great when he asked about the dress.

        • Joe Beese

          25 years too late, I apologize to my neighbor in the apartment on the other side of the wall for cranking up “War Ensemble” when the show played it.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqnC54vbUbU

          • foiled again

            I have a real art vs. artist problem with that band.

      • foiled again

        Hunh. Just listened to their last album for the first time in twenty years.

        • jesterpunk

          Bleach is such a good album.

          • foiled again

            It is. In Utero is such a fitting coda, plus I’m fond of the recording quality. Albini and all.

    • Three Finger Salute

      How about they bring back music and get rid of the stupid reality shows and poorly written “scripted” material. And by “music,” I mean very, very little that was released to the charts after Kurt Cobain died. Justin Bieber is not music.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Well this seems like an important fucking thing to do on a day like today. Or a good day to hide news you think is going to go over like a lead balloon. https://twitter.com/NARAL/status/914983186245054466

    • Suttree

      Par for course.

    • HazooToo

      Mass shooter kills 58 (and counting) with 10 machine guns, wounds hundreds more…. we ban abortions. Because THAT makes sense, somehow.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Shootings are god’s punishment?

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    This is how you speak truth to power. Just say no to money. Girls can take care of themselves, tyvm.

    Girls Who Code founder: Why I shunned Ivanka Trump, White House

    “If I agreed to work with his administration, how could I look these girls in the eye?” she wrote, referring to the young girls who benefit from her nonprofit’s work and which include “many young immigrants — including Syrian refugees.”

    This week, President Trump directed the Education Department to invest a minimum of $200 million in grant funding annually to STEM and computer science education, an effort led by Ivanka Trump. Ivanka Trump met with corporate partners and nonprofits in Detroit; Saujani notes that Girls Who Code was not in attendance.

    “I do not believe this initiative — nor any partnership with this White House — can reverse the harm this administration has already done in attempting to legitimize intolerance,” wrote Saujani. “Indeed, collaborating with this administration, on any issue, emboldens it only further.”

    Saujani suggests that Girls Who Code is sending “a more powerful message” to the young girls it works with and to other organizations by taking this stance. She encourages others to also resist “on behalf of our fellow Americans who deserve nothing less than equality.” “…. We must draw the line. We must do it here and now,” she added.
    http://money.cnn.com/2017/09/28/technology/culture/girls-who-code-oped-white-house/index.html?iid=ob_homepage_tech_pool

    • Three Finger Salute

      Dear iVapid Trump:

      Not to get all science fictiony on you, but you are such a waste of space and time. I notice nothing came of that surreal, “keyfabe” Linda McMahon conference in February about the “women’s small businesses,” which was basically just a stupid excuse for Little Miss Princess to moon over Justin Trudeau on Valentine’s Day. “Ooh-la-la! Daddy bought me a French model! I get to show him my ‘branding’ and my ‘architecting’ and all the fancy lace lingerie that my Chinese babies make!”

      Yeah, fuck you, twat. He was out of that rancid, pee-soaked house of horrors in less than 48 hours, and couldn’t wait to kiss the ground the minute he landed at his own papa’s airport on the right side of sanity. He only agreed to visit the Russian Oblast of Amerika and invite you to the Broadway show because your “daddy” is a nuclear-capable maniac he has to Jedi mind-trick out of bombing his country. In reality, he doesn’t like you or your deplorable “daddy.” He and his naturally hotter (i.e. not plastic) wife go to bed every night, fuck like bunnies and laugh about you, “Daddy,” and your douchey techbro arranged-marriage husband. That show was all about welcoming the stranger after 9/11 and was a massive Salmon Arm Salute (look it up) to your racist, neo-Nazi, Kremlin-affiliated terrorist of a “daddy” after he banned innocent people from entering the country for no other reason than their religious beliefs — a message that both of you are too stupid and egocentric to recognize. (In a way, that’s a good thing. “Daddy” obviously does not take well to being insulted.)

      You are so fake and so into yourself that you make the Kardashians look authentic and genuinely altruistic. You’re so vain you think literally everything is about you. You don’t care about girls or women other than yourself. They do. He appointed a gender-equal cabinet of ministers, a female science advisor, and a Governor General (representative of the queen; technically the final appointment is approved by Her Majesty, but on the advice and recommendation of the Prime Minister) who is a female astronaut. “Daddy” calls science a Chinese hoax and harasses multiple women — including his onetime political opponent, a far more qualified candidate for President of the United States — for not bending the knee (in more ways than one) to him. He most recently attacked the female mayor of San Juan on the Internet, at a time when her island — comprised of American citizens whether “daddy” realizes or admits it or not — is in desperate need of aid after a natural disaster. Not only do neither you nor “daddy” care about women, the “French model” science guy does not care one bit about you, iVapid. GTFO, you walking croco-tears pocketbook. GTFO + STFU = GFY. Is that an equation your pretty little empty set of a head and heart can understand?

      Signed,

      An American woman who cares about STEM and the concerns and advancement of women, likes Canada, and doesn’t give a shit about you either.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        WOW. Tell us who you really feel brother.

        • WomanInThePersistence
          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Just sent you an email, if you want to delete this message.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    bah, my homegirls in teh budget office lost the employee volleyball tourney to a bunch of probation people.

    Bah.

    • jesterpunk

      Was it a friendly game or a tournament?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        yearly employee tournament. The ladies were telling me about it on Thursday or Friday. They were stoked and had been practicing hard.

        bah, i say!

    • mancityRed6

      wait, people on probation or people from that particular dept.?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        probation dept. (dammit, I tried to avoid that exact mistake with the wording and still fucked it up).

        • mancityRed6

          no, I was being a smartass. again.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i know! And i did my best to prevent the smart assery.

            smart assery will find a way.

  • Rocky doesn’t want to see anything more today. Nuthin… Done… Had enuff…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/efef4fd0b7c8ca8d7b3786a6c6a33bb0ff4a595e3b7b171b3c64d9958a5b8a05.jpg

    (Happy Birthday to President Carter)

    • Suttree

      Meow meow emow mewo I rub your belly!

      • Joe Beese

        I have to try that on Sylvester when I get home tonight, Daniel Day-Lewis style.

        “I… rub… your… belly!”

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Two of my kitties just lurve to have their bellies rubbed. The third has me requiring a transfusion after the attempt.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          My puppy loves belly rubs also too.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Well, this really has been a shitburger of a day.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s still early enough in the day to be upgraded to a shithoagie.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        My, what a ray of sunshine you are.

        • Suttree

          I raise my cocktail to you WITP and hope that tomorrow brings us something less shitty.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            *lifts wine glass in an easterly direction*

        • ariel_gee_398

          I get that a lot.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        One of our shit-submarines is missing tonight.

        It will start tweeting in a few hours.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Truer words have rarely been uttered.

      If ever.

  • Serai 1
    • Lord Jim

      You know, politics is the craft of fashioning public policy, and sometimes public policy makes the difference between life and death for people, so yeah. Let’s politicize the fuck out of this.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Politicizing shit is part of the sausage-making that is part of process of actually getting shit done.

        That sounds weird when I read it back to myself. I don’t give a fuck.

    • Three Finger Salute

      They really have redeemed themselves quite a bit after the horrendously borked handling of Jackiegate blew their credibility, and gave MRAs and rape apologists a bigly talking point for at least the next two decades.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    Happy Birthday, Jimmy Carter.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rt9CLur0KQ

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    There are lots of things I could say about what happened, but half the country is honestly just “okay” with this sort of thing occurring over and over again.

    Unless a brown person does it, that is.

    So, fuck it.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Dear President Carter,

    I am sorry I voted against you in 1976 and 1980. As a young I was like a prefigured Berniebot and rationalized it all by voting in Kansas. I’m still as liberal but wiser. Peace be upon you.

  • bbayliss

    “Chief Justice Warren Burger[says] that the Second Amendment “has been the subject of one of the greatest pieces of fraud, I repeat the word fraud, on the American public,” saying that the “right to bear arms” is a right of the states or state militias like the National Guard, not of individuals. He argues that the well-regulated militia clause in the Second Amendment is a restriction on the declaration of the right, and that “well-regulated” means “regulated by the state government”.

    • Ninja0980

      And he was no liberal, not even close.

      • bbayliss

        Nixon Republican

    • DainBramage

      It’s perfectly clear reading the text.

      • bbayliss

        It always was until Heller.

    • my feet are normal

      Entirely accurate. Nobody thought otherwise till relatively recently.

  • Edith Prickly

    DOK!! There is a weird-ass spammer in the NRA to Las Vegas Shooting Victims thread. It really wants us to seek wisdom from a Great God Prophet with a Faceplace page.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Is it back? Julian something? It was deleted here right quick.

      • Edith Prickly

        Yep. From “Upper Cove” Canada.

      • Meccalopolis

        Spelled its name wrong in its avatar

    • Joe Beese

      The Great Prophet Ikehedu is seeking the people where they are. Which is on Facebook.

      You think Jesus wouldn’t use Facebook? Get real.

      • AJ Milne

        I’m picturing 21st century Jesus. He’s doing pretty okay. Likes, shares, it’s all through the roof…

        … then he chain-tweets the entire Sermon on the Mount. And that’s when they crucify him.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Suffer the little children to friend unto me…

    • HazooToo

      I have captured it’s post downthread for mocking. The original in this article got deleted.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I gotta go play a gig. I feel so much safer these days now that they allow guns in bars.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Nothing says freedom like mixing alcohol and guns.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        What could possibly go wrong?

    • Joe Beese

      “Let’s make the weiner kid sing his song!”
      “Yeah.” [cocks gun] “Sing… or die.”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MGmugjxBjg

    • ariel_gee_398

      Just give in and play Freebird when the drunks start shouting.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yeah…I’ve noticed people are a bit more….um, PERSUASIVE with requests these days.

        • Suttree

          If they yell Freebird go into a 15 minute version of Low Spark of High Heeled Boys.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Better yet, play Saturday Night Special.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Monday gig, eh? Best o’ luck.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s a standing gig; every Monday for 8+ years now. Like Donna Summer, I will survive.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Gloria Gaynor, she says pedantically.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Thx. I slept through a lot of the disco era.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            I was in HS. Your choices were Classic Rock, Disco or for the weird kids New Wave/Punk. You heard everything though. My mom marvels at my musical knowledge.

    • Meccalopolis

      But no smoking. What’s the ATF to do?

  • Picabo

    If you have ever been through a hurricane, you know how this makes me feel. I’ve been through Bob, Matthew, and Irma. I still have water and food stocked from Irma. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4b92121c2d54b686acfd7ec45c689d8a76ac5e29050b597b27d7fb46f15994d1.png

    • Red Bird

      I know. I think we’re in the clear now.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        For this year, at least.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      We just had a 20 minute hail storm, out of the literal blue from the one lone cloud in the sky… My victual store held up…

    • Three Finger Salute

      My first was Gloria back in ’85. I was a baby. Then Bob in ’92, the same year as the unnamed “perfect storm” later chronicled in Sebastian Junger’s book and George Clooney’s movie adaptation. After that, I don’t think there was a very significant hurricane up New England way until Irene, and then of course Sandy. Although I do remember us getting some tail-end remnants of an “Alberto” in maybe the mid-1990s or so. Floyd, we might have seen parts of Floyd, but nothing like Irene or Sandy.

      Dunno when they started naming them, because there’s a dwindling number of very olds (WW2 generation) who still retell stories of the “Hurricane of 1938.” But there are a lot of women around here of a certain age named Carol, after the one in 1954.

      • Meccalopolis

        Er made a beer run to NY during Gloria. Then came across some guys we knew sacrificing a teddy bear. They were all dressed in togas so we wrestled them down a hill, starting the most epic mudslide in school history. College was fun.

    • TootsStansbury

      I remember seeing a saying about hurricane season: June, too soon. July, stand by, August, protect us, September, remember, October, all over. Cape Verde starts to shut down and we’re left with the home growns.

    • Suttree

      I know. I have been through more than I remember. I always got lucky though. Sure flooding and week long power outages, but nothing serious. just really strong storms that might last for a few days. The worst I ever saw was from a tropical depression 9? unnamed, that sat over the city for like 4 days. I was in NOLA for Ike and Rita and it wasn’t terrible. It wasn’t good.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Reconfirmed by a 52-41 vote (4 Dems crossed over – Manchin, McCaskill, Peters, and Tester). Sanders did not vote.

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/914988387563638785

    • Joe Beese

      He looks like A Stupid.

      • foiled again

        Behaves as A Stupid as well. Versatile.

      • mancityRed6

        a lot of people throw around the term “corporate stooge”, but if you look it up on the internet, you’ll find his picture. and you better do it quick, soon it will take all day to get there.

    • Red Bird

      Why?

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        because… ASSHOLES!!!

    • DainBramage

      Goodbye, Net Neutrality.

      • wait! what?

        Someone in Congress should pass around the rumor that the Internet is a person and has the right to own a gun and should have the freedom to do what it wants.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      That fuckin’ whore.*

      *No disrespect meant to actual prostitutes.

    • jesterpunk

      Voting is hard, its easier to wish and hope for a magical pony instead.

    • h4rr4r

      We need to primary some of these bastards.

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        McCaskill, Manchin, Peters, and Tester. Possibly the non-voters, except those from NV.

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      https://www.dailypress.senate.gov/ says Sanders voted against, then that he didn’t vote. I haz a confuse.

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        Ah, senate.gov says not voting.

    • Suttree

      Fuckers!

  • Red Bird

    Libra. Some of the best leaders in history are born under that sign.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, it is the scales of balance. The symbol of the legal profession. Speaking of which, I’m not big on the whole astrology thing myself, but now my curiosity is piqued: what’s the star chart say about leadership qualities of Leos, Capricorns, Scorpios, and Cancers? Obama (4 Aug) and Bill Clinton (19 Aug) are Leos. Trudeau (25 Dec) is a Capricorn (also too, Christmas/Sol Invictus, literally “sunny ways”). Hillary Clinton (26 Oct) is a Scorpio. Donald Trump (14 June) is, of course, a sideways-stumbling tumor.

      • Michael R

        Ima use my first ” libel ”
        sideways-stumbling tumor libel !

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        I don’t believe in it. However, my dad’s a sideways-stumbling tumor as well, and though a bleeding heart lib, a massive shithead, so…

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i apparently very much fit my scorpio profile (even though it’s all total bullshit).

        Also, scorpio’s are supposed to be intense lovers, so I whip out my sign and it impresses hippy gals.

      • Red Bird

        Leo is a good leader too but for different reasons. Leo has charisma. Libra has sincerity. Scorpio is not so much a good leader as a good politician. They are very black or white in their thinking. Capricorn is a good leader and very ambitious. That is another sign that is common among famous politicians. Trump is a gemini. Hitler was a taurus. Take that to mean whatever you want.

    • Michael R
      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        majestic dog being majestic.

        ; )

  • Panika MCD

    TX State Reps. S. Davis and D. Howard just told anti-vaxxers to eat a dick. this is the kind of bipartisanship I like.

    also: apparently the anti-vaxxers shut the fuck up at the shelters.

    • Thank fuck for small favors

      • Panika MCD

        if I were a healthcare worker providing TDEP and flu shots at a shelter while my home flooded, I think I might punch someone in the face if they started going all anti-vaxx on me. thankfully, that was never necessary–though there were a bunch of them freaking out in Austin and spreading around bullshit.

  • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

    My parents are in Vegas. I called my mom first thing this morning and they are okay. Their hotel is on the opposite end of the Strip. I was surprised that my mom wasn’t freaking out, but she was calm. She was saying that all they knew is what everyone else was seeing on TV.
    Then about 30 minutes ago, she sent out a group text with updates because everyone in the family had been calling them.

    • marxalot

      I woke all the way up during my 4 am sleep cycle interruption because my phone was buzzing. Someday my loved ones will learn about time zones.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I woke up from a horrible nightmare and got up and looked at the news and read about another terrible nightmare.

        I hate this life.

    • Suttree

      I’m glad that they’re ok cynmac!

  • Picabo

    Today in history, 1967.
    “Chief Justice Earl Warren swears in Thurgood Marshall, the first black justice of the U.S. Supreme Court. As chief counsel for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) in the 1940s and ’50s, Marshall was the architect and executor of the legal strategy that ended the era of official racial segregation.

    The great-grandson of a slave, Marshall was born in Baltimore, Maryland, in 1908. After being rejected from the University of Maryland Law School on account of his race, he was accepted at all-black Howard University in Washington, D.C.”
    http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/thurgood-marshall-sworn-in https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c2cca8c193eb459dee134e35d7d62b60fabfd4548e69cd9303d211e43fd00405.jpg

    • Bitter Scribe

      And he was replaced upon his death by Clarence Thomas, with whom he had only one thing in common.

      • Penis?

        • Bitter Scribe

          Yeah OK. And they were both homo sapiens. And had two legs and two arms. Etc. But I think you know what I mean.

          • LucindathePook

            Carbon-based?

  • Doug Langley
    • Bitter Scribe

      Ruben Bolling rocks.

  • CeeQ

    What a shithouse of a Monday. A friend at work knows someone who was shot in Vegas. Thankfully they are ok and will survive. I’m hugging that little ray of sunshine close to me. Love you all. Hugs all round.

    • marxalot

      One of our students upstairs broke his leg in the crowd. Two sorority sisters of one of the kids in Special Collections have been shot, through-and-throughs. Either one of the circ desk students or their sibling (I missed it) got one in the upper left into his lung but word is he’ll pull through.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Oh my…

      • Bitter Scribe

        YIkes. Hope those two girls will be OK.

      • grindstone

        I’m so sorry.

      • CeeQ

        I hope everyone pulls thru

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        dear god.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        That’s just awful.

      • puredog

        “Upper left” is really “there but for the grace of God” territory, especially with that radically downward trajectory.

    • Lord Jim

      *hugs*

  • wait! what?
    • jesterpunk

      Uhh

      So what about the human bloodline? According to the researchers, transfer could have happened through sexual intercourse or Homo erectus consuming boisei — or both.

      Was Erick Erickson around back then?

    • Crank Tango

      No way I descended from that!

      I now believe in Creationism.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I’m starting to wonder if the LV shooter was maybe just a gambler who was sore at losing, realized that if he tried to gun down a casino he’d get burned down fast himself, so chose this way of inflicting maximum damage.

    • foiled again

      Lost all his munnys, so a family annihilator.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Kind of like Trump.

    • Suttree

      I think he did have a “fall” at a casino there and tried to sue. Nothing came of it. Possibly he gambled all of his money away and was just pissed at Vegas.

      • ✓ Blames others for his own mistakes.

      • mancityRed6

        there was possibly a settlement

    • Shibusa

      The dude had 19 guns in his room at Mandalay Bay. Didn’t housekeeping find that odd?

      • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

        I thought it was 10. Should I subject myself to more of the new?

        No, I’ll just trust you. You’re Wonkfam, after all.

        • mancityRed6

          I’ve seen both numbers, and another 10+ at his home.

        • Shibusa

          WaPo today reported that the shooter had 23 guns, some with scopes, split between his two rooms. Nobody found that odd, apparently.

      • He probably put the sign on the door?

    • SprinklemagicResistancebuns

      He was using his girlfriend’s slot card, so maybe.

    • Joe Beese

      That’s some powerful advertising there.

      “Edible Cereal”.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Hey, considering some of the stuff I’ve tried to smoke over the years…

        • In college we once pooled our pennies and got a quarter from this dude down town. Fat quarter! We tried to smoke it and got nothing. Huh. Smelled weird too. What the? Room mate walks in and wants to know why we are smoking oregano.

      • Stulexington

        now with “flavour”

    • Wuulf
    • jesterpunk
    • we’re selling out to the man, man….
      Do you care?
      Fuck no, pass it round

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Fuck the man with a gigantic lit reefer of burning milkweed.

        Here, try this…it’s not milkweed…

    • h4rr4r

      I hate you.

      Stupid NY state always behind the times.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        homie, we’re in texas. Weed won’t be legal even after hte rapture and/or apocalypse.

        (although I was pleased hte learn the other night we have a compassionate use law).

        • Joe Beese

          Utah. I win. (Meaning: I lose.)

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            bah! I’ll put a bet down on which of us gets it legal first.

          • Drive to Nevada? or Colorado? Or California? Or Oregon?

          • Joe Beese

            On my next trip to Vegas I’m sure I’ll try some edibles. (They don’t let you smoke in hotel rooms, apparently.)

          • fascists

      • Bitter Scribe

        Ditto for Illinois.

        They have medical pot here, but you have to be genuinely sick. None of this walking into a Dr. Feelgood beach shack and getting a card after complaining of anxiety.

        • You think you got it bad?
          VA hosts the National Government, for all intents and purposes. We’ll be dead last.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            join the pool just below.

          • I still beat you both. Hatch was at least musing about medical in Utah and Texas has its pro corner.
            VA? Not on your life.

        • h4rr4r

          Here you have to be on death’s door.

      • I live in Oregon.

        We have legal weed and we VOTE BY MAIL where we have A MONTH TO VOTE. (Sit down, read the proposal, then check a box. Next evening do the next proposal)

        Occasionally some assholes from NeeVaDuh show up a trash a Wildlife Preserve, but on balance, it ain’t too bad.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Arizona. We can, for some reason vote by mail. Although, I wonder if they are ever counted properly. Weed? Oh fuck no, I could end up in a concentration fucking camp for that.

          Unless, I had an Rx for it, I guess. I don’t trust the system here, though.

      • I bought some Chong last year. It was Top Shelf+ heavy Cali smoke. Fluffy ain’t bad if it has giant crystals on it that you can see 3 feet away that glisten like diamonds (Ghost Train Haze)

      • Verdict:

        1. Worth the extra few bucks
        2. Fuck You AG Jeff Sessions

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Fuck Sessions. Fuck Arizona.

  • Edith Prickly

    This is how I’m feeling right now.

    “Take back Alex Jones, take back the NRA/take back the 4chan trolls, give em all some place to go…”

    https://youtu.be/TCFAzPl1QmE

  • NotReallyHere

    I visited WaPo this morning, and found the opinion section… interesting. So, I took a screen capture. Here it is.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/48c738ef3bc5d665d7834c1049949946c8c33c2688fb4b8eedc19df2ce8ffcbd.png

    There are 4 pieces about the shooting in Las Vegas, which is wholely and completely appropriate.

    Dana Milbank thought it would be a good idea to post a piece about how Rexxon is Trump’s dog. Okaaay.

    And then there’s Ed Rogers. He thought it would be great on this terrible morning to publish an op-ed that insults Democrats in the fucking headline. I read it, because apparently I hate myself. It is a big, disgusting, impacted stool of lies. Ed Rogers is truly loathsome. Why does WaPo publish this hack?

    • jesterpunk

      The same reason NBC hired Megyn Kelly?

    • FAIR AND BALLANCED!!!!!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        is neither.

    • Doug Langley

      I still haven’t figured out why NYT hires David Brooks.

      • I figure at this point it is more pity than anything else

        • Doug Langley

          Either that or Dave has some whopping blackmail material.

      • DirtyHippyLiberal

        I like to think it’s because all of the most brilliant and snarkiest people that should have the job refuse to put on pants and sign off of Wonkette long enough to apply. The only thing saving DB is Wonkette-ians being unwilling to wear pants. #truefact

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    As I mentioned in the other Tom Petty article’s, not-comments, this is a very terrible day. Then I click on this article and see Jimmy Carter and immediately thought, OH FUCKING NO!

    I was so happy that it was Jimmy’s birthday you were talking about–and not another obit.

    I am about as unchristain as you can get. Yet, I look up to Jimmy as Christian(*) who actually walks the walk and talks the talk. And I admire that greatly.

    With so many of my favorite people dying so fucking young, and so many assholes who won’t fucking ever die, Jimmy, at 93 years, gives me hope in the universe.

    Note: (*) I have this demon or something that prevents from spelling “Christian” correctly unless it’s in a sentence referring to Jimmy Carter. Otherwise, it comes out “christain”.

    • Lord Jim

      This is what The Boss had to say about what characterizes a Christian:

      Luke 6

      27 “But I say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 If
      anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone
      who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

      32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 If
      you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to
      you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Would it that so many fucking christains could even bother to read their shit.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      r-amen brother.

  • altleftjohn

    Has anyone got some Xanax they can spare? Thx.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Gun dealer who sold perp many guns says he didn’t see “anything unfit” about him. Because in USA America, there’s nothing unfit about buying a fucking arsenal.

    • Meccalopolis

      How did he get full auto?

      • They’re refusing to answer that question for some strange reason

        • I can answer it!
          Either they sold it to him, or he easily manipulated what he did buy there from the many, many, many Youtube vids out there explaining in detail step by step how to mod it!

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            ^This. Exactly this^.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Oh good lord I can do a simple google search!

      • Johnatx

        Probably a bump stock or a trigger crank. Both are legal ways to make a semi-auto fire very rapidly. He could have also modified the receiver. That’s difficult to do properly and is illegal (not that he’d care about that) He could’ve purchased a fully automatic weapon, but would have to go through a lot of hoops to do it legally. I’d guess the bump stock or trigger crank. Fire one weapon until it got too hot, switch to a second, and so on

    • So…gun dealer saw white older dude and went hey fine!

  • Ninja0980

    When making same sex marriage legal, abortion or anything that give workers right, conservatives like to say the founding fathers could never have envisioned those things so they aren’t rights.
    The founding fathers couldn’t have envisioned guns that could fire 30 rounds in 20 seconds either or where one person could have enough ammo to supply a small army either.
    And yet we can’t ever suggest passing any kind of gun laws because founding fathers blah blah.
    Makes you want to puke.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i have heard, and agree, that the genius of the founding fathers was making things broad enough that we could grow and change with the times (which is why we have systems to amend the goddamn constitution to begin with).

      but yeah, what you said.

      • Several founding fathers specifically said, more than once, that the constitution was a living document for that very reason.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      The founding fathers didn’t even trust the American people with direct votes for the president. I doubt very much that they would have been okey-dokey with automatic weaponry.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      And a simple 6lb cannon is illegal for me to cast in my back yard

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        It only takes a wood lathe, sand, and iron… Which every Minnesota boy knows how to cast.

        Eta and adhesive. Thank you 3M. PS eta. This is not to say we cast totally awesome artillery as kids.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          The gun manufacturers just can’t allow any competition.

          That’s really what this is all about.

    • Stulexington

      The founding fathers intended the militias to be regulated.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Guns…GOOD!!!!

        Regulation…BAD!!!!111

  • Terrorist is starting to smell like a Republican…

    ✓ Father was criminal
    ✓ He was “wealthy”
    ✓ Divorced
    ✓ Lived in Locations (FL, NV) full of Stupid people
    ✓ Accountant
    ✓ Pilots license
    ✓ Slumlord
    ✓ Bad at math ($100 a hand poker)

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      $100 a hand VIDEO poker.

      regular poker is not a bad gig if you know whaty ou’re doing.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Exactly. Video poker is just glorified slot machines.

        • Joe Beese

          Then again: No dealer to tip.

          • Then again, no dealer to dip

          • DirtyHippyLiberal

            They charge fees to give you your winnings, so, no, you’re not not tipping.

          • Bitter Scribe

            Yeah, plus I don’t think they even have dealers. AFAIK it’s just like a regular poker game, with the dealer rotating among the players.

      • Doug Langley

        BTW, in my Flash class, one of the things we did was examine how to build a video poker game in Flash.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          heh, in my python class we built a hangman game.
          It was a lot fucking harder than it sounds.

          Also, fuck flash.

          ; )

          • Doug Langley

            Writing code is ALWAYS more work than you think. Also, we have another prof who teaches Python for the game classes.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            as far as my limited experience with coding goes, python is the best – which every real coder told me.

          • Doug Langley

            Depends on the application. C++ comes from C, which was designed to run efficiently, so is used for general real time apps. Java developed for server programming. Javascript is code stuck on web pages. C# for your Microsoft environment. Etc.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            yeah, see the way you guys feel about law shit is how I feel about that paragraph.
            i will now reconsider all future law posts.

            ; p

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Some of us follow both conversations and find them fascinating.

          • wait! what?

            Flash has pretty much fucked itself out of existence.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            they’re retiring it or something, right?

            Cause Apple and Steve Jobs won that one.

          • wait! what?

            Yup. ActionScript is just too exploitable and the platform is too costly to maintain.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            which I believe is what Steve was saying from the beginning.

          • Doug Langley

            Nope. Adobe has renamed it Animate. Haven’t looked at the newest version, but guessing they’re enhancing it to produce Javascript and HTML5.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ugh, “Will no one rid me of this troublesome technology?”

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            I only run Flash with Safari. Too many apps want you to run their jacked up versions. Safari checks for official and issues warnings.

      • memzilla Ω

        Real poker isn’t about playing cards, it’s about playing people.

    • altleftjohn

      Accountant?

      • Ωbjectifier

        Pilot?

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          The IRS attack. Pilot flew into building to protest his audit

      • How do accountants get rich???

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          accountating. It makes sense when you realize people want other peopel to very carefully count their money.

    • OutOfOrbit

      perfect profile — werks both ways

      • Elvis stole his best stuff from the Blacks

        • OutOfOrbit

          nothing from Nixon?

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            He was fat, bloated drug addicted Elvis by then.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      The black and white brain accountants and engineers. Discuss.

      • Carole

        Dad = engineer, Republican.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          Stereotype.

          • Carole

            Probably. Brother = engineer, not Republican.

          • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

            I’ve had loooong discussion threads about this. #notallengineers.

          • #butsomeofthematleast
            #andalsodentiststhoughforthelifeofmeIcannotfathomwhy

      • Courser_Resistance

        Accountant – Democrat

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Hey, hey, hey! I’m an accountant!

        https://i.imgflip.com/8iqed.jpg

    • Carole

      Lives in Mesquite.

      • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

        Mmmmmm mesquite.

      • Lives in Mesquite, Nevada. Used to own an apartment building in Mesquite, Texas.

        Coincidence? Nope.

        Rich people are stupid.

        I dated the daughter of a Exec who grew up in a Mid Century modern house.

        After he remarried much later, he moved to a small town that was the same name as his Surname.

        I’m guessing that wasn’t an accident, either.

    • jesterpunk

      Jared?

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    It’s feasible that this guy could have just gone Charles Whitman.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      True, and a good description since no one knows what set Charles Whitman off also too.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        Actually they theorize that Whitman had a brain tumor that was affecting his cognition. He even requested that his brain be studied in his note because he knew something was wrong.

        • puredog

          There was a rumor about a tumor, nestled at the base of his brain. He didn’t choke or slash or slit them, not our Charles Joseph Whitman, who are we to say the boy’s insane.

  • memzilla Ω

    Current LV casualties are 59 dead, 527 injured.

    By comparison, 54 Americans were killed & 425 were wounded during the main phase of
    2nd Fallujah, Nov 2004, the biggest battle of our Iraq War.

  • ltmcdies

    Happy B Day President Jimmy.. you are one of the reasons I don’t scream…I fucking hate America, every god damn day since November

    For my American Cousins here on Wonkette… it’s been a lousy day all around. Canada lost a couple lovely sounding people who just went on vacay. We all need a hug and to see something cute

    https://twitter.com/tononoboa/status/911279166410047488

  • gallbladder
    • Joe Beese

      More nostalgic than a box full of madeleines.

      http://www.coinopvideogames.com/sounds.php

      • gallbladder

        Oh man, that takes me back.

    • Joe Beese

      There was a one week period, right after the machine got installed in the bodega around the corner from my high school, when I was playing it a lot but few others were, when I was, though far from the best, at least a competitive player of the Star Wars coin op.

      Then other people started playing it regularly, and they were actually good, while I remained the mediocrity I was, and that was it.

      Nevertheless, it’s the closest I ever came to athletic glory.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRBfWvn5zAo

      • gallbladder

        When that game came out, I can recall half freezing to death in January to try it (it was right next to the exit at the 7-Eleven on Killarny avenue in Winnipeg) and being late for dinner after school. Well worth the chastising I’d receive. Fluid vector 3D graphics (or, like Zaxxon, oblique angle game play) was the thing then.

        I miss the novelty of those days.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Don’t look now, but the highest score at that arcade is still held by a veritable prodigy who signed his initials as JPJT. Gee, I wonder who that could be….

  • mrFawkes

    I’ve yet to hear one person ever say “you know, this country needs more bullets whizzing through the air.” It’s basic math and physics–fewer bullets whizzing, fewer lives lost. But this will never happen until the day we pry Congress out of the cold, dead hands of the NRA.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      That’s why anything over a 10 round magazine should be illegal.

      • OutOfOrbit

        why even 10 rounds?

        • therblig

          some of those zombies are pretty quick moving and it make take a few before you get the head shot.

          • OutOfOrbit

            i thought unless one is expecting a bear attack, 1 shot is enough or you shouldn’t be shootin

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Anything that’s not a black powder musket should be illegal. If you are an originalist.

        • h4rr4r

          They had rifles. Muskets were old technology by then, outdated and rifles were a big part of the Americans winning.

      • mrFawkes

        They can have their 10-round mags when I get back my beloved and banned Lawn Darts.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • SERIOUSLY????
      God again has terrible aim as he ….takes out fucking country fans?
      WHAT EVEN

  • HazooToo
    • gallbladder

      You mean, the shift in reality hasn’t happened?!?

      • Doug Langley

        Don’t tell anyone, but they really did create a tiny black hole that’s devouring the Earth!!!!! Of course, it’s so weak it’ll take a few thousand years, but hey . ..

        • gallbladder

          I’m prepping as we speak.

    • DrBigHead

      The Boy believes the world actually did end in 2012 and we have been living in some weird hellscape ever since.

      • Courser_Resistance

        My world definitely ended on 11/9. It reminds me of a freaky Bruce Willis Sci-fi movie that was pretty surreal. I can’t remember much detail, but he lived in a cell? that woke him up with threats of a hose or something. He met a freaky girl, flying cars, yadda, yadda…

        Yeah, I feel like that,..

        • Three Finger Salute

          12 Monkeys? He’s a time traveler who, IIRC tries to find some serial killer before the would-be killer is released from a mental institution and goes on a spree.

          • Courser_Resistance

            No, not that one, I don’t think. I only saw 12 Monkeys recently. Kind of like there were bits of humor and absurdity in it that 12 Monkeys definitely didn’t have.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Thanks, Roland Emmerich.

  • therblig

    rwnj co-worker posted article from dead breitbart basically blaming the hotel’s “no armed guards” policy for the carnage. meatheads chiming with how they blatantly concealed carry regardless of casino no gun policies. stupid fucking assholes. look, i don’t care if their suspicious bulge gets them a ticket to the next world,in fact, the more the better. but just like drunk drivers, it’s often someone else who pays the price.

    they’ll probably all fap to sleep tonight dreaming about how they would have stopped it.

    http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/10/02/mandalay-bay-security-guidelines/

    • jesterpunk

      Hint use archive.is for dead breitbart articles so they dont get the clicks.

    • DrBigHead

      I gotta admit I find it strange that a business that makes its money by fleecing desperate gamblers does not have at least metal detectors at the entrances.

      • Courser_Resistance

        You have about 10 cameras on you at all times from the time you walk in the door until the time you leave. I don’t know about the rooms but I’d lay odds some, if not all, are bugged. And no, they don’t give a flying fuck if you’re cheating on your wife…

      • therblig

        heard a guy on npr this evening who does security for a couple of casinos and while he was being circumspect, he did finally admit that paddock would not have been able to get his shitload of artillery and ammo into the casinos he works for. i suspect the concealed carry braggarts simply don’t go where there are metal detectors, chickenshits that they are.

    • NotReallyHere

      Ugh. Do these right-wingers really want to turn us into a police state? I’ve been hearing that response for years, probably since Sandy Hook. Every school should have armed guards. Hotels should have armed guards. Movie theaters should have armed guards. Everywhere you go there shall be armed guards. Just no.

      • Suttree

        Unless it’s a place that they frequent and it might impinge of them not being able carry their real dicks.

      • therblig

        no, a “polite” state where everyone carries a gun and is scared shitless (which face it, they already are) to offer and opinion, or a criticism, or probably even a helping hand. one POS talked about always carrying because she lives in a “blue city”. then move the fuck out, asshole! more arugula for the rest of us.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          We’ve got kale all over the city in our decorative planter. Take THAT you fucking Velveeta chomping redneck garbage!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      teh TX dad worked an admin position in an emergency room. That hting about the drunk drivers drove him up the fucking wall. Kill two or three people, may be a kid or two, and walk away with scrapes and bruises.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Guess what – casino security is not stupid. If they see a bulge, they will ask you about it. At that point they will tell you you have two choices: you are “encouraged” to take your business elsewhere, or security can have law enforcement explain it to you as they arrest you for trespassing.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Suttree

      I thought he didn’t own any bathrobes!

    • gallbladder

      Is that Miller with the palm?

  • OneYieldRegular

    Out of all the “official” responses I’ve heard today, the one that enrages me the most has to be Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ mealy-mouthed, cookie-cutter response. “It would be premature” to discuss any policy action “before we know all the facts,” she said, when her boss routinely and predictably fires off “premature” assumptions before the shooting has even stopped.

    And really, what the f*ck does it take with these people? We know the facts of Sandy Hook. We know the facts of Orlando. We know the facts of San Bernardino. We know the facts of Virginia Tech. We know that some 35,000 Americans are killed by gun violence every year. We are utterly drowning in facts, not to mention blood, and yet still, one Republican administration after another won’t even lift a trigger finger to do a goddamned thing.

    • Don’t look, but she said it would be premature and then later launched in on how Chicago’s gun laws don’t help there.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Oh for fuck’s sake:

        1) Chicago’s “gun laws” got tossed out by the Supreme Court, along with every other state’s and city’s, years ago.

        2) The guns used in Chicago crimes almost invariably come from outside the city, often from gun shops right on the city borders.

        I am so goddamned sick of wingnut assholes slagging on Chicago, like no other big city ever had a crime problem, just because Obama is from there.

        • per capita there is more gun violence in rural areas than even cities like Chicago anyway.
          But that is including all the accidental hold my beer events so I guess it is not fair

        • Timothy Watson

          There’s also interstate trafficking in firearms. Guns from Virginia and North Carolina (essentially no gun laws) end up in New York City. Ditto from Indiana to Chicago.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      they said the same goddamn thing about charlottesville.

      Huh, I’m sensing a pattern.

      • To them, it’s still too soon to talk about Sandy Hook.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          people keep saying it and I’m starting to believe it each time I hear it, “If nothing changed after Sandy Hook, nothing will.”

          I genuinely believed THAT was the turning point…

          I am kinda stupid some times.

        • well, unless you slag on the parents

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            that shit might quite possibly be the most offensive thing ot occur in my life – (i was going to say ever, then I remember slavery, genocide, and war in general.).

          • I seem to recall out of respect for the grieving we could NOT talk about gun control (even though the grieving were asking for just that) but when Ann Coulter and Alex Jones began calling those same grieving folks opportunists and false flags and fakers and else, there was absolute crickets from the right.
            I will never. Ever. EVER. Forgive them for that.

      • jesterpunk

        Well its an improvement over his response to the Pulse shooting. The bar keeps getting lower though.

        https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/742034549232766976

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          grrr…..(eye twitch).

          I may need to fuck off and kill zombies ont he PS3 for awhile..

          • jesterpunk

            I have been playing a lot of assassins creed and just got the Deadpool game for Xbox one. All of them are good stress relievers. So don’t blame you for killing zombies.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            i just got dishonored and dead island (with the riptide expansion pack).

            On dead island, at least in this point in the game, every weapon is a melee one…it is oddly satisfying for a generally non violent dude.

          • Timothy Watson

            Middle-earth: Shadow of War comes out next week and the new Assassin’s Creed on the 27th. I’ve already preordered both and can’t wait!

    • ariel_gee_398

      “We’re not going to talk about substance until we’ve found some excuse other than guns to handwave away this particular act of violence. Personally, I’m hoping his girlfriend had an abortion 30 years ago and this is a delayed response to that trauma.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      The CDC would be happy to sort it all out and give you briefing, Sarah.

  • HazooToo

    Um… Hey, Dok? You wanna bring that Great Prophet of God back around for a little bit? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ddeae7bd563f8914d2a6a91d8c8ef016a657c390c74aea07953a5609db516d6a.png

    • *facepalm*

    • Doug Langley

      And I thought his email was just spam! How could I have been so foolish?

      • Master Contrail Program

        Sometimes strippers really do like you.

    • Master Contrail Program

      $43,000,000! That’s almost an entire year’s worth of working part-time from home!

      • HooverVilles

        Gee, one could buy a lot of rover land range rovers with that.
        Chuckle. Snicker. Snort.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      lol.

    • jesterpunk

      Was it Lori’s apartment?

      • HazooToo

        Dunno, check if there’s a Range Rover parked outside.

    • OutOfOrbit

      whut kind of a idiot found that & blabbed?!!!

    • Joe Beese
    • Ryan Denniston

      Well… shit. Should replied.

    • Timothy Watson

      I keep thinking of the scene in The Wire where Herc and Carv find cash under a mattress. They both look around and slip a wad of cash each under their bulletproof vests.

  • Courser_Resistance

    Yay for Jimmy Carter!

  • Raan
  • memzilla Ω

    Dear Lord:

    Why did you take David Bowie and Tom Petty and 59 people in Las Vegas AND HENRY FUCKING KISSINGER IS STILL HERE???

    • TootsStansbury

      I could add SO MANY names to that but Banhammer.

      • puredog

        It would show “One Comment” here but still go on for pages and pages.

    • gallbladder

      Answer: “I work in mysterious ways. Suck it up, libtard!”

    • ariel_gee_398

      Not even hell wants that fucking war criminal.

    • God says :You think I fucking want that guy?

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Satan say: Fuck no, he’ll make me look like a hippie.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      He has no soul. God can’t take him. He’s been alive since the days of ancient Egypt.

  • Nounverb911
    • Stulexington

      Yeah, they’re fine with taking a knee here.

    • Apple Scruff

      It blows me away that they continue with this shit even though they’ve been mocked for at least the past 4 mass shootings.

  • HellhathnofuryDemme

    I can’t anymore.
    Carry on, brave Wonkers!
    I’ll join you when, (and if), I can.

    • HazooToo

      Rest up, soldier.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Take all the time you need.

  • TootsStansbury

    Happy belated birthday President Carter. I was too young to vote for you but I would have even though my parents were staunch republicans. You are an inspiration beyond description. There is a heaven, at least for you; but hopefully for us earth-bound people it’ll be a while until you’re called home to it.

    My beloved Dad gave me ‘Das Kapital’ to read when I was a rebellious teen. I think he thought it would turn me. I became quite the Marxist! Oops!

  • Blackest Noobs

    Jimmy Carter is the best.
    if there is a God, it certainly loves Jimmy but only because Jimmy is the model we all ought to follow, all ought to be.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i think that may be the most postive hting I’ve ever heard you say.

      • Blackest Noobs

        statistically it’s bound to happen, me saying, writing something positive.

        • :huggles:

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          I KNEW You had it in ya.
          : D

          • Blackest Noobs

            also i met Jimmy Carter. i was like 4 or 5, he visited the Army base my dad was stationed, and went to the church service, and greeted everyone there.
            President Carter patted me on the head.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            he sounds like a cool dude. I can’t say I know anybody who’s been in his orbit – other than y’all.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            He has earned all of our positive regard. I’m an atheist and I consider him a model for human behavior. Plus, you know, his bro made Billy Beer, so there’s that.

  • spangled

    you know, i don’t really care about the shooter’s motivations or political beliefs or whatever. there are bad, violent people across the spectrum motivated by everything – this isn’t a “both sides do it” take it’s a, “bad people do it no matter what they say they believe in”.

    the thing that this guy and the pulse shooter and the sandy hook shooter have in common isn’t mental illness or one particular motivation, it’s that they all have big fucking guns. we can’t stop bad people from killing people, but we CAN stop bad people from killing people so easily.

    if this dude wanted to kill people so badly but all he could get his hands on was a knife, 59 people wouldn’t be dead. hell, if all he could get was a handgun, 59 people wouldn’t be dead.

    profits over lives should replace e pluribus unum.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Some gun humper will likely point out that trucks and cars can be used for mass killings. They are useful however for other things. Not sure what else a military gun is useful for.
      I don’t want to hear them say with a straight face that they have the right to keep them for the purpose or insurrection against our government.
      Is there anywhere else in the world it would be ok to say that?

      • Lefty Wright

        And most people do not have 20 or 30 cars.

      • spangled

        and like…trucks and cars are so much more regulated than guns!

        you have to take a test to drive, you have to do behind the wheel, you have to have a valid registration that gets updated, you have to be inspected, you have to have insurance. if you had to do all that for your guns, I’d be pretty happy!

        i could go into a walmart tomorrow and buy one – even though I’ve never shot a gun before in my life! I can’t buy a car tomorrow if I’ve never driven.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      This. That’s one of the key things gun nuts don’t want to admit out loud: shooting people is just too damn easy. And gun manufacturers have made it so.

      It’s too easy to get angry, grab a gun, and pull a trigger from several feet away. You don’t need to have the technical know-how to build and place a bomb (without blowing yourself up). You don’t have to risk losing in a hand-to-hand fight. You don’t even have to be close enough to hear people’s screams and see the fear in their eyes. It’s just too damn easy, right. Just grab a gun and spray the place. Then kill your self when it’s all done.

  • HazooToo
    • The Wanderer

      Mr. Throat-Wobbler-Mangrove gets a nose job?

      • gallbladder

        It’s pronounced “Raymond Luxury Yacht.”

      • Nounverb911

        Rhinotoucanoplasty?

  • Nounverb911

    I met then Governor Carter when he came to the Georgia-Clemson game in 1971, he sat in the bleachers with all the other GA fans. He seemed nice. (GA probably won since Clemson’s football team was terrible in those days.)

    Well I digress; HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIMMY!

  • Rebel Scum with permit

    Sad, went to the market and heard people talking about their family and friends at the concert. It sounded like they were ok but very shook up. We are a 3 1/2 hr drive down the 15 fwy from Las Vegas, and country music is big in this part of the world.
    Everyone goes sooner or later, usually several times. It’s always been a place where you could party, have fun, and forget your troubles. I was listening to an NPR interview and it sounds like everyone, even people who weren’t anywhere near the place, are quiet and sad and just trying to get home.
    They are turning away blood donors, so tons of people have been lined up to help.

    • There are blood donors lining up all over right now. That is a small thing but it makes me hope, a little bit

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I don’t mean to be creepy, but I waited outside the Citicorp Center to give blood on 9/11 and they ended up sending everyone without a rare blood type home at the end of the day because there was nobody left who needed blood.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I remember that. There was a flight with medical supplies sent out of Denver that next night to NYC but no more blood needed. It was freaky cuz I heard that plane go over, accompanied by some military jets from Buckley.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        They intereviewed a surgeon who said that at one point they had 9 operating rooms going, so they must have needed a lot of blood.

        • Suttree

          They can only take in so much new blood though. Shelf life.

      • SisterArtemis

        *sad*

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Weirdly funny 9/11 story (seriously, I was chided by a stringer from an east coast paper for not taking the whole thing seriously enough), dialogue reconstructed:

          Kid in the recovery room (yeah, I made it in, I have a rare blood type): We need to bomb the palestinians.

          Me: Why would we do that?

          Kid: Because they already said they did this.

          Me: Somebody who called a radio station said they did this. That doesn’t prove anything. If I called a radio station and told them I did it, would you be OK with them bombing New York?

          Random lady across the room: Can you tell them you’re from Staten Island?

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        All the emergency medical peoples rushed to the hospitals, got ready, waited, waited and waited until the reality slowly sank in that there weren’t going to being hordes of injured, because they all died.

  • Nounverb911
    • …. I know of something you could do!

      • Suttree

        Kitty Farmer: I’ll tell you what he said. He asked me to forcibly insert the lifeline exercise card into my anus.

    • Stulexington

      “there’s not much we can do” and the small number of things we can do I really don’t wanna do. I don’t wanna regulate and make the government all powerful and make the liberals right and make my backers mad at me. I don’t wanna I don’t wanna I don’t wanna and you can’t make me!

    • OneYieldRegular

      That is some sterling leadership and visionary spirit right there.

      #RESIGN

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Current mood. Just don’t care much

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ACKEGCvLtI

  • ariel_gee_398

    Twitter isn’t all bad. It has provided us with the chihuahua sandwich: https://twitter.com/MaxBivens/status/915002477023580166

    • gallbladder

      Can I get (freedumb) fries with that?

    • Suttree

      They’re just cooking him before they nom nom nom nom.

      • ariel_gee_398

        I like how protective they look. It’s probably just cause they don’t want to share the noms, but still.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          It looks like puppers is wearing a diaper of some sort. Damn, I’m almost tearing up over this. Long fucking horrible day, I guess.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    35 guns. This guy had THIRTY. FIVE. GUNS. Plus ammo and explosives.

    How in the hell is this “okay”? HOW?

    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/915001990949851139

    • gallbladder

      Home of the paranoid.

      • Suttree

        Land of the fraught.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      You can buy as many guns as you want. Remember no one batted an eye when John DuPont bought a fucking tank.

    • Nounverb911

      SO housekeeping didn’y wonder why his room looked like a warehouse?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i swear there was a cnn piece today saying housekeeping hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary.

        Either vegas lets a lot of shit slide or this guy was hiding these things really well.

        • gallbladder

          We’re talking about a city built on sensory overload, so…

      • Picabo

        I worked on the road for 10 years. Put the do not disturb sign on the door and talk to the house keeping staff. Easier than you think. I was a road warrior and know how this works.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          good point – except house keeping had apparently been in his room.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          We stayed in a Best Western in New Orleans two years ago and we left the Do Not Disturb on the door for the whole 4 days. Housekeeping didn’t like it but fuck them.

      • mancityRed6

        you’d be surprised what they can miss
        http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/bodybed.asp

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      how the shit did he even get them UP there without setting off alarm bells?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        He only had 17 with him. He left the rest at home.

      • Suttree

        I’m just bringings up hunks of metal to ma room. What? ok they’re bricks.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Seriously… and I thought Vegas hotels had tight security what with all the casinos. Maybe this hotel didn’t have a casino? I dunno and I’m too lazy to google.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i seriously doubt it – i went to vegas once for a job interview…casinos are EVERY WHERE. They have machines in the goddamn airport and in every ratshit bar and restaurant.

          Also, they were on the strip.

          • Rocket Pony Ron

            I was nonplussed to discover that VARIETY STORES have one-armed bandits there. Srsly, do they figure that visitors can’t go an hour without gambling?

    • ariel_gee_398

      I heard on the tv news that he brought 10 pieces of luggage to carry all the fucking guns. I don’t know how long he had booked the room for, but fuck me maybe that could have been a clue, too.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        He checked in on the 28th

      • Suttree

        I heard he was there for a couple of days. *heard*

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        He booked two rooms.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      ‘merica.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Why do you hate freedom? Seriously, we know someone carrying 35 cases of beer would have been stopped and questioned.

      • Suttree

        Thas why I arlways raise my dixie flag high when I’m onna way to da party.

    • Donkey Option

      And here is where I get annoyed at the people who think it’s wrong to try to limit the number of firearms a person can possess. Why would anyone need that many guns? Ever? For anything other than killing a bunch of people. I mean, seriously.

      • He didn’t even need that many to kill a bunch of people. He had far, far more than he needed to commit the deadliest mass shooting in history. That is demonstrably too many even if you want to be the worst fucking person.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      The gunnuts are just like those people who hoard garbage, have a house full of cats and cat shit, collect their fingernails and toenails and are obviously messed up in the head.

      Yet having the arms to outfit a platoon is okay.

  • Panika MCD

    alright. I don’t know what’s happened in the past hour to create 380 more comments. what I do know is that Rep. Walle is starting to get on my nerves.

    • Thow food at that Rep?

      • Panika MCD

        I’m at my apartment in Austin. they’re in Houston. it’s like he wants to be Bamz for TX, but he’s just fucking not. and he doesn’t think his questions through very well. if he did, he wouldn’t be so annoying. but he uses 12 questions when one would do.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Oh, lord. I hate people who do that.

          • Panika MCD

            he means well and he’s on our side, but it is just the borking worst.

            HOWEVER! we just adjourned!

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Huzzah!

  • CO
  • Jennifer R

    Whoo now enemies have stamina, and spend it based on how much they have spent in the turn, and if they will regen over their maximum if they don’t use stamina. I can adjust the % values on a per enemy basis as well.

  • DrBigHead

    OK, It has been one unbelievably shitty day. Since this is the open thread, I thought I would post a couple of videos of one of the bands of my youth. Same song separated by over three decades.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmZoQFYYx8U

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyYCpEh034I

    • SisterArtemis

      One of the absolute best concerts I ever went to, including their wonderful jamming Roundabout. As it was their Topographic Oceans tour, they opened with the entire piece (4 side of vinyl, people), start to finish. Wonderful and memorable experience.

      • Wasn’t that the tour Rick Wakeman famously ordered curry during the last show and stopped playing to eat it on stage?

        • SisterArtemis

          Sounds like something he would do. I never much cared for him, musically or otherwise. Sorta the Liberace of rock keyboardists, imho.

          • I know he did that during one of the tours. One of the more legendary ones.

            Alas, I’ve never really had the opportunity to see Yes. Not really. They didn’t come onto my radar until “Owner of a Lonely Heart”, by which point the classic sound was more or less gone, despite them making nicer with each other since.

      • therblig

        saw them at the Spectrum in philly. they entered through a large green tube to a recording of stravinsky’s firebird, but can’t remember if that was the topographic oceans or close to the edge tour. i do remember that after it was over, one of the roadies came out and announced that one of steve howe’s guitars had been stolen.

    • gallbladder

      Fucking A. And I’ll up you one:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1-NsnlPc54

      • Drinkalong

        Saw ’em in Frisco in ’73….still like Chris Squire on bass. But…thanks…Geddy has the spiit

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I remember my older sister having the 45 of that. I listened to it all the time.

    • Duke

      When I was young, being young meant something.

    • Serai 1
  • The Wanderer
    • HazooToo

      Additional info! Binturangs smell like popcorn!

    • gallbladder

      For me, there is no young animal the bears a more striking resemblance to human infants (see also too: the sounds that they make) and toddlers than a panda cub when it comes to preciosity and mannerisms.

    • therblig

      that’s a hell of a lot cuter than puppymonkeybaby

      • gallbladder

        You just HAD to remind us.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “it’s my ball and I love it and YOU CAN’T PLAY WITH IT.” – Dat Panda.

    • LosFelizGuy

      I’ll take two of each please!

  • HazooToo
  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    He’s a fucking treasure. And he has an awesome Allman Brothers shirt!

  • Sophia
  • spangled

    let’s do REAL constitutional originalism, not this bullshit. under the second amendment everyone should be able to arm themselves – BUT ONLY WITH A 1789 COLONIAL MUSKET.

    try shooting 59 people when you have to pack your own gunpowder and it takes like 5 minutes to reload asshole

    • gallbladder

      How dare you: facts and science are the work of the Devil!

    • Blackest Noobs

      we might just have to have ourselves our own Butlerian Jihad…except not against thinking machines but firearms.

      let’s make it so.

      • The Wanderer

        Only if I can name my Murdertank The Golden Advent of the Jehanna Be Damned.

        • Rasilom

          Yes, yes you may.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      They could manage faster than that- for a well trained soldier I think it was something like 3 a minute.
      I don’t know where it’s written in the Constitution that citizens have a right to military weapons in case they feel like overthrowing their own government, or whatever paranoid fantasy they happen to be entertaining at the moment. That’s what a lot of them seem to believe.

    • Donkey Option

      And you’d have a not-insignificant chance of it blowing up in your hands.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Wisconsin says, “Hold my beer.” Felons and folks with restraining orders will be able to own antique guns under the new “no need to have a license to carry and conceal bill.” Nice little bit the tossed into the horror stew fer Freedumb.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        GODDAMMIT YOU FUCKS

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          The domestic violence and exfelon lobby must be pretty powerful these days, right? Can’t be any other reason, right? Right?!

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        It prolly doesn’t even matter how they define ‘antique,’ because multishot weapons of surprising power and accuracy have been around for centuries.

  • OutOfOrbit

    current death toll — 59
    #of (R)s in the US Senat (?)
    just sayin

  • The Wanderer
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      finally, good news!

      • gallbladder

        Liev Schreiber!

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Gods, right now I wish I could just move to Equestria and never come back.

  • jaspersdad
    • gallbladder

      “Fun and excitement?!?” Talk about jacking off for the patriotic ammosexual.

  • Nounverb911

    Gee Ann, no witty bon mottery banter about how it was the victims fault for getting in the way of the bullets?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/86cdc0f5758ade1ba5c97fb16505327a76bc33d5405b9fab566e3300b8e0eecf.png

    • gallbladder

      What do we make when life gives us Ann Coulter?

      • The Daily Show?

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Glue?

      • wait! what?

        Really shitty margaritas.

        • wait! what?

          (because she’s a sourpuss)

          • gallbladder

            I’ll just keep the salt for myself.

      • Nounverb911

        Soylent Bleccch?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Earplugs.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Bile.

      • Raan

        Liquor. Because you need pure ethanol to forget that she exists.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        A number 2.

    • The pro football players who are the actual millionaires will not be getting any tax benefit cuts, you ignorant stooge

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Enough, already, with the brother. Enough with checking shooters’ Facebook accounts. We don’t need to understand these people’s motives. No, it is not “only natural” to “search for answers.”

    A natural response — which we do in every criminal act that doesn’t include massacring humans with guns — is to eliminate either the instrumentality or the circumstance necessary to the commission of the offense. DUI problem? Suspend licenses and make a .08 BAC per se evidence of impairment. Lots of Burglaries? Make possession of burglarious instruments a crime and start frisking anyone who looks suspicious. Drug Dealers got you down? Seize their cars and money. People stealing credit cards? Boom. Make it a felony to use someone else’s financial transaction card, irrespective of the amount pilfered.

    How are massacres different? We don’t need to understand what causes people to go on shooting sprees. We can just say, “some people are fucked in the head and guns are too easy to get; we can’t guess whose brain is broke, so let’s make guns harder to get.” We don’t care about the motives of common single-victim murderers. My last murder case was a drug dealer shooting a suspected drug dealer. That was good enough for the State. The Prosecutor didn’t give a damn about why my guy shot the deceased; he only cared about punishing him for it and ensuring he didn’t kill anyone else.

    We are ignoring our nature, our laws, and our best interests to make the gun lobby happy. That’s the only real reason we need to know the motive — so that we don’t have to talk about the instrumentality.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      it really is all about money – profits over lives…over and over and over and over again.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Profits really is behind the whole mess. All of this star-spangled american freedumb shit that is spewed is a fucking smokescreen.

        • OutOfOrbit

          and the rubes eat it up

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          ayup, money and politics kept the vietnam war going from waht I gather.

        • gallbladder

          That’ll be $2.50.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            you people crack me up.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Do you take green stamps?

        • alpacapunchbowl

          A friend of mine posted something this morning about the need to rethink our current gun laws. She has some ex-coworker or something who is a raging RWNJ. He replied with this long-ass screed that I’m pretty sure he basically copypasted from the NRA website. I responded by pointing out that the NRA is the lobbying tool and de facto marketing group for the gun manufacturers, whose stock prices jumped this morning, and further pointed out that it might be paranoid to think the NRA wants shit like this to happen but mass shootings sure are great for their bottom line. My friend responded to NRA guy that we need to do *something* different, and he responded with another long-ass copypasta of NRA talking points.
          Notably, he didn’t address what I said at all. I’m guessing he has at least enough intelligence to know better than to argue with me, armed as I am with irrefutable and inconvenient facts, and logic. Fuckin coward.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you lost [me] at “–frisking anyone who looks suspicious.”

      • ya lost me, where does it say that?

        • Jamoche

          Second para: “Make possession of burglarious instruments a crime and start frisking anyone who looks suspicious.”

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I’m not saying I think it’s right. I’m saying it’s what we do.

        • OutOfOrbit

          that did seem out-of-character for you

    • Stulexington

      Out of curiosity, is there a threshold whereby lobbying could be considered reckless endangerment? Asking for a friend.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        I doubt there is one, else the military industry lobbyists would have been in jail for life long ago.

    • SisterArtemis

      I hear ya… and yet….
      So far, the guy never was on the radar of any police, for any reason, from what NPR was reporting after talking to local police departments. So maybe he’s a bit different than the average mass murderer *shudder* (why do we even have an average? fucked up, my friends, very fucked up)

      But there have been patterns: a history of domestic violence is one. Being male is one. Somehow feeling alienated and disenfranchised is one. There are patterns, and I think they are worth looking at.

      But in essence, you are right, the instrument is the right focus for each individual incident. Had the guy been throwing knives, a lot fewer people would be dead and injured. Likewise, probably, had the guy used a car. High powered weapons are intrinsic to the damage done, and high powered weapons have their own symbolism, not lost on a lot of the people who have wielded them with deadly results.

  • HazooToo
    • RobKanC

      FSM libelz!!!

      • HazooToo

        Not at all! FSM is the Entree!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I have two of His disciples already.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I have my very own three gods.

      • HazooToo

        It is a very quiet and peaceful conversion process. Not at all like our human religions!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • DainBramage

      Beat me by seconds!

    • gallbladder

      Priorities.

    • Stulexington

      And how successful are the welfare drug screening programs?

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        Very, since their actual purpose is to oppress welfare recipients.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      and millions wasted in combatting or preventing 31 cases of fraud. Meanwhile ,the CDC can’t even study gun violence, by law.

  • Nounverb911

    Why is it strange Bill, how many weapons do you have in your home? Don’t your pals at the NRA encourage people buying guns?

    https://twitter.com/mitchellvii/status/915006388904046592

  • Picabo
    • It’s pretty odd that they never do… Almost as if there’s nothing there and you’re just talking to yourselves eh?

    • The Wanderer

      That’s because God doesn’t exist, TV’s Frank. Didn’t all those years with Dr. Forrester teach you anything?

    • Stulexington

      They just haven’t doubled down hard enough.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Have you ever considered that they are – because they’re not praying to who we think they are?

  • Up In Smoke O’hontas

    Way OT: Just gonna say, listening to David Allen Coe singing “Fuck ’em in the Butt” may be wrong, but it made today a little better.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      ahem, welcome to Texas:
      (I never get tired of posting this video)
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl_iMgmhn-E

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Uyup. Thanks TX!

      • Sophia

        WTF?????

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          exactly.

          That looks like it was taken around the 90’s. There was a TON of great weed floating around austin then, TRUST ME.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    This morning I posted “Welp, here goes another week of that ‘I don’t wanna live on this planet’ anymore’ feeling.”

    Nothing has happened in the interim to change that.

  • Panika MCD

    my hearing is over and I have tacos coming. (though I still have clean up and breaks to cover…thank crom they used youtube instead of granicus today.) but I must say that I’m pretty satisfied with most of the response to Harvey. recovery is going to suck–especially for school districts–and there are a lot of mitigation projects that we hope the feds will finally provide matching funds for (though state funding is being made available for some of them now that don’t require ACOE permitting…maybe that big beautiful wall can be the Coastal Spine instead of the border fence…it’s only $12B). but I’m also really pissed about how PR is being treated given how well we have been treated and how many state and local entities deployed assistance to PR BEFORE Maria hit. (WTF?)

    JJP has a meet-and-greet with a potential adopter tomorrow.

    and I’m going to try to wade through the articles from today.

    • yay JJ!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      what, am I supposed to be somewhere?

      Ohhh, I see.
      (also too, tacos coming…heh, heh, giggle).
      ; )

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Okay, if you wade in remember – three tugs on the line and we’ll pull you out.

      • Raan

        Two tugs, and we’ll send down bourbon.

    • HazooToo

      Please don’t, they are bleak and everything is terrible. Save yourself, it’s too late for us.

  • David
    • …the price of freedom is living in fear that other americans may shoot us because of freedom?
      Call me silly, but I think that means we LOST

      • David

        Fucking Bill-o…guess he thinks sacrifice is “WE’LL DO IT LIVE!!!!”

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        We, unfortunately, lost a long time ago. Some white dude’s ability to shoot over 500 people is more important than the lives of his victims.

        • How? How can we lose that one?
          We have GOT to keep it up. Eventually it will sink in to their thick stupid skulls.

      • vivian

        In the trio of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, when did Life become subordinate to Liberty?

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          Not that you actually have much liberty either, these days.

    • bookish

      How many facts do they need to know? What fact about this incident could possibly change anything? That’s just stupid. Well, it’s Sarah Huck for Drumpf, so yeah.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      This is one butcher’s bill that we should not be paying.

    • georgiaburning

      Human sacrifice is the price of human freedom? What bizarre scripture is he following?

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        The Gospel According To Quetzalcoatl.

  • CO

    In case you didn’t know they were right wing
    https://twitter.com/thedailybanter/status/914896582901927938

    • Oh. Gee. Surprise.
      Oh, and Jordan? That reporter claim? I think we should sue you for false advertising you ratfucking hack

    • spangled

      these fucking republicans

    • Carpe Vagenda

      of fucking course they do. I had some access to Cenk’s thoughts in 2008, and he was pretty sure that Obama (who for some totally-not-racist reason he just assumed was a secret radical progressive despite every aspect of his history up to that point) was going to be the pony he rode to fame and fortune.

      And now he gets his money from Mike Bloomberg’s post-partisan political network, and the world is his hydrant.

      • CO

        Don’t forget Buddy Roemer also put money into them. Michael Tracey, another one of Cenk’s reporters, is pretty far right.

  • spangled

    I need A LOT of nice time today
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ0ELHNDrjk

    • gallbladder

      If you liked that, you’re gonna LOVE this:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KZJVMeTl8A

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      That’s It! I’m devoting my life to panda wrangling, as God intended.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        They never even suggested that as a career option when I was in high school. I feel cheated, somehow.

    • bookish

      Can never get enough of naughty pandas.

    • gallbladder

      There is a video somewhere of a panda nanny trying to put several cubs into a basket…they’d not stay.

      But leave a basket unattended and…

    • LosFelizGuy

      I’ma add Death by Panda to my list of prefered ways to die.

    • Suttree

      Do you get payed extra or less for that job?

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Monty Python wrote this sketch?

  • Nounverb911
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      jim is very good and I love his stuff. He works for a florida paper, but check him out.

  • DainBramage

    The Jared onion of stupidity goes one more layer.
    https://twitter.com/TeaPainUSA/status/915009146759663616

    • Stulexington

      Drip. Drip. Drip.

      • bookish

        Lying little shitweasel. Not you, dear.

      • vivian

        Indeed he is.

    • he had TWO private emails?
      Lock him up twice?

  • Nounverb911
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      grrrrrrr
      (eye twitch…twitch…twitch).

  • Nounverb911
    • gallbladder

      Fucking depressing.

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Met him once.
      He’s a very gentle soul.
      Snarky, but sensitive.

  • HazooToo
  • Nounverb911

    Every time the NRA sees this, they have another gungasm in their pants.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eeb62a4880080509a5514c17e1cbd72dfb75d3d37191f29bb242ce9fdc058ec5.jpg

    • DainBramage

      I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what they mean by that stupid catch-phrase, “An armed society is a polite society.”

      • bookish

        I grew up with guns. I own guns. And I despise our current gun fetish pornography.

        • Rocket Pony Ron

          That is because (based on observation) you do not own guns for the express purpose of compensating for some deep damage somewhere in your psyche.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        So, why the fuck are we not a fucking polite society, then?

        • Begin Anew Day

          obviously we are not toting guns of sufficient calibre and armor piercing ability.

  • CO
  • wait! what?

    On CNN, Author Phil Mud* is calling BS on “the family and girlfriend had no clue” idea.

    *Philip Mudd the ex-deputy director ofthe CIA’s Counterterrorist Center and the FBI’sNational Security Branch, appears regularly on FoxNews, CNN, and NPR and lectures around theworld on methodologies for understanding difficultanalytic problems. His writing has appeared in Newsweek, the Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, Foreign Policy, and the Washington Post, and he is the author of Takedown, a detailed account of intelligence gathering in the hunt for al-Qa’ida. He lives in Alexandria, Virginia.

    • Donkey Option

      Seriously. Guy had a shit ton of guns. And no one in his life thought that was weird?

      • wait! what?

        Well, he did have bombs for symmetry, so…

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        In America?

    • eh? They knew he had guns.
      Just like the dealer who thought nothing strange of the repeat business.

    • Begin Anew Day

      “Philip Mudd…appears regularly on FoxNews, CNN, and NPR and lectures around theworld on methodologies for understanding difficultanalytic problems. His writing has appeared in Newsweek, the Wall Street Journal, The Atlantic, Foreign Policy, and the Washington Post…”

      That resume does not impress me. It sounds like a list of all the apologists for EVERY shitty thing this country has done for the past sixty years. In other words Phil, fuck off.

      NEXT!

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    speaking of Nevada – we learned this week in class, for some fucking reason and on one of our digressions, that’s a county can have legal gambling or legal prostitution but not both.

    Your legislators in action, everyone.

    • wait! what?

      Keeping legal prostitutes from gambling must be a high priority.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        we’ll allow sin…but only to a level we’re comfortable with.

        course, alcohol is demonstrably more harmful to health and public safety than weed, but only one is available at ever corner store. (Ever seen two stoners fight? Over more than the doritos I mean? Yet every goddamn weekend htere are fights, domestic violence, shootings and stabbings related to alcohol consumption).

        • Begin Anew Day

          Get the evidence from people who know, the police.

          That beat cop prefers confronting a stoner to trying to subdue a drunken oaf.

          STONER; Awwww man! Why you harassing my party? Yo! No need for the taser man! I’m cooperating!

          DRUNK: Who da fuck called the cops? Geddada here! This is my house! Fuck you! I’ll crush you like a worm you pig!OOF! Get offa me you bastard! Fuck you and your Partner! Leggo me you fucks!

    • Stulexington

      So could someone put up a building across county lines with gambling on one side and legal prostitution on the other? Asking for a friend.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i haven’t read the actual text, but it sounds like it’d be okay from what i know.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      It’s a bit more complicated. Prostitution is actually illegal by state law in any county with a population over 700,000 people (thus Clark and Washoe prohibit it). Two other counties and Carson City prohibit it by municipal or county ordinance. The other 12 counties permit it, so long as a) it is not on a “main business street” and b) not within 400 yards of a school, church, or public park.
      It may not be permitted to have gaming (beyond slot machines) at a house of prostitution. But it is certainly legal to have casinos and cathouses in the same county – Lyon and Nye Counties have both.

      • I’m sorry but…..slot machines at the cathouse?
        That is awesome on so many levels.

      • georgiaburning

        There was one “developer” in Nye County who in the early 2000’s wanted to upgrade a brothel into a full-scale resort complete with golf course, casino, restaurants, etc. Not sure if that worked out. For one thing, who wants to drive up to Nye County?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        dammit – stupid community college education is short changing me.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Hey, I’ve had the advantage of living here for something like 95% of my life.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Seen on Twitter: a list of every congressman who has sent out thoughts and prayers along with how much they’ve taken from the NRA.
    http://splinternews.com/every-member-of-congress-who-took-money-from-the-nra-an-1819059582?utm_medium=sharefromsite&utm_source=Splinter_facebook

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      lemme guess, there is a high correlation between the two?

      • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

        Yes.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • gallbladder

      R’Amen.

  • The Wanderer

    Some uplifting music, to remind us that we are capable of achieving magnificent things. The art is Raphael’s School of Athens.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hopaQjQFUYw

    • gallbladder

      Magnificent.

  • Changeling

    I haven’t read today’s stuff yet. I only heard about Vegas a couple of hours ago. I wasn’t and still am not shocked, which should be shocking in itself. That one guy can cause this is hard to comprehend. Of course in most of the world he couldn’t have, but I’m sure you guys have been talking about that already.

    What personally upset me – and it might be a small thing to most – is all the prayers and religious talk. Not because thoughts and prayers, that too of course, but I remember what it felt like after my own loss. We were not religious, and it felt like our actual lived experience was ignored and people were trying to hijack our feelings. We left a message where people were leaving flowers and messages that while we appreciated the thought, we would prefer that people appreciate the life that was, and the life they still have rather than leave messages about anything they presumed was outside that life. Maybe that was petty of us, but it hurt.

    American atheists and non-Abrahamic believers must have thicker skins when it comes to thoughts and prayers, but in these situations I always think that some of the affected must be part of that 20% of Americans and wonder how they feel.

    • OutOfOrbit

      if you donut understand, you might be a liberal

    • HazooToo

      Here is an account of one survivor’s struggle. Different shooting. But still relevant. http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/national/2015/12/05/after-a-mass-shooting-a-survivors-life/?utm_term=.d4008b2bde9a

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      christians say the lord helps those who help themselves.
      Maybe we should fucking get on that.

      • Sophia

        Christians may say that but it doesn’t say that anywhere in their bible. Another one of those things they claim is in there but it’s not.

        • Changeling

          Well, let him who hasn’t misquoted cast the first stone.

        • Begin Anew Day

          They make things up as they go along?

          *****faints onto sofa*******

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          ^^This^^

      • Begin Anew Day

        What they mean is the lord helps them feel better about themselves as they help themselves to a bigger piece of pie.

        The Pigs.

    • I know the feeling… When my sister died (tragically and suddenly at 23), far too many people got “god has a plan” to us. We weren’t particularly religious as a family (at the time I was agnostic), but that experience is what moved me (and my parents) to full on atheism.

      • I apologize to you, and your family, for the thoughtlessness you had to endure :huggles:
        My son is agnostic. It is weirdly not at all hard for me to answer his questions and respect his decision. Fuck those god botherers

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          You’re a very good mom, and a very good person. Huggles to you, and I’m happy and grateful know you!

      • Changeling

        I certainly learned that afterlife has no appeal to me. You’re just not… who you were. It’s been rather surprising how much comfort my worldview has given me.

        Here’s a song I liked:

    • American Atheists and non Abrahamic believers have thick skin for a good reason: They are forced to. Sort of like how women are bred to say sorry for everything and not mind being interrupted. Same sort of thing: from a young age you are set into and if you do not play it cool you have no social life. If you don’t brush off the jokes and taunts, the teasing, the bullying, you either go nutty and well of course they did, they’re not Christian! Or you ha ha, very funny, and try to focus on that person’s good points.

      It’s not petty to wish people would respect your own beliefs (or lack there of) as they demand you respect theirs. It is simple human nature to want that.

      • Donkey Option

        I’ve had so many people try to convince me to believe in a god, any god, just because it broke their brain to think that I could just not believe. I tried to explain that no matter what happens, I just don’t have that belief part of me. Almost like trying to tell a gay person to not be gay, most atheists don’t stop believing in god because we want to or we’re angry or we’re stubborn. We just can’t make ourselves believe in this, and no amount of arguing with us can make us change.

    • Lizzietish81

      This reminds me of my mom’s funeral. She always said she wanted to have a new Orleans funeral, ie a party celebrating her life.

      That didn’t happen. It was all very protestant and stiff upper lip.

      The guy who did her eulogy didn’t know her, and basically made some generic Christiany noises about how wonderful she was. My brother in law thought she would be rolling her eyes and muttering that he should shut the hell up, and so burst into tears.

      Also he kept getting my dad’s name wrong.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        y’all must be irish. I attended an italian funeral once as a child – dear god do they have it wrong.

        • Lizzietish81

          Terribly British I’m afraid.

          I went to an Italian Catholic Funeral Mass, totally different experience (of course the deceased was young, died suddenly of a heart aneurysm)

      • Changeling

        Some funerals in my family have been like that. But we have drank and laughed afterwards. My dad says he wants a peijaiset, a celebration of life.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Oh, that’s just plain awful I’m so sorry. May I raise a glass to your mother?

        • Lizzietish81

          That reminds me, she declared she was going to get drunk off Southern Comfort when I graduated, her sister asked what she planned to do with the rest of the glass.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Your aunt sounds marvelous.

      • :huggles: That right there is why I agreed to give mom’s Euology. My dad’s was terrible, complete with family god botherer bothering everyone about God’s Will and sewing and reaping and blah blah blah. It was impersonal and cold and I hated it.
        Only thing that got me through it was the same family botherer was waiting for me to choke up and fail.

      • Sophia

        Personally I have put in my will that if they insist on having a funeral for me they are to have the pianist play a few lively round of “Pop Goes the Weasel”.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Frankly, I want a real funeral. As in people in black, and a boatload of sadness. Preferably, with a nation in mourning and the flags at half-staff. And also people lining the street to see my corpse ride by. But we all are entitled to be treated as we wish. If Lizzie’s mother wanted a New Orleans funeral, then the only respectful thing would have been to do that.

          • Sophia

            I fully agree with you.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        My mom loved New Orleans traditional jazz, and I was able to have a jazz band at her funeral service. That was the best funeral service that little Lutheran church in Minneapolis ever saw.

      • Donkey Option

        That was pretty much my grandmother’s Catholic funeral. She had split from the church quite a few years before and the whole thing was incredibly by-the-book Catholic, with none of her children or grandchildren really able to participate because none of us are Catholic. She would have hated it.

      • Rocket Pony Ron

        The housemate keeps insisting on a Viking funeral, which will be awkward because I’ll have to find a wooden boat for sale somewhere, and figure out how to get it into Lake Huron and set it on fire and NOT attract attention from the OPP.
        People can be so unreasonable.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      God is up in heaven like:

      “Why are they praying to me? I’m only responsible for locusts and rainbows!!!!”

      • Changeling

        Well, and the death in question.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      It’s ticking up from 20% especially when younger people are factored in, but yes, we’re used to fighting, and ignoring 60 meter (wink) tall crosses, with aluminium skin along every highway outside of a city. This is where the “militant” atheist stereotype originates, but there’s just SO much religiosity around that the battle is endless. FWIW, I work for a large atheist org, and most of the cold calls I take are from people over 60, many octogenarians, who are just done with the magical bullshit. Some people call and didn’t even know there was such a thing as not believing in god…and ask how can they sign up.

    • Begin Anew Day

      “… it felt like our actual lived experience was ignored and people were trying to hijack our feelings…”

      It feels that way because it IS that way.

      People don’t like to use the word “vampire” around here. But sometimes it is the only word that fits the evidence.

      May Crom give you strength to fend these leeches off.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      One of the musicians that was there has started a gun control discussion. A lot of the Trumpanzees drink the kool-aid but then when the rhetoric becomes fact and they are the ones affected, it’s like whoooooa.
      https://www.rawstory.com/2017/10/country-musician-who-played-at-las-vegas-festival-reverses-pro-gun-stance-after-deadly-massacre/
      I watched a documentary about the 1984 mass shooting at the McDonald’s in California that focused on the victims. Never even mentioned the name of the killer. We need more of that.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Ysidro_McDonald's_massacre
      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt5903392/

  • HazooToo

    Name this band correctly, and win a Range Rover with fully stocked Wine Lottery! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/356752d906e62f987016d11a5632c801d57b9345ceadda24e0f0daeac379f3c9.png

    • Nounverb911

      LORI is that you? What happened to your face?

    • Beautiful Soup

      Mugly Vanugly

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i was thinking “ugly emo” – but I’m willing ot hear more input.

    • uhm.
      That is possibly the most disturbing thing you ever posted.
      Therefore, upvote for you!

      Also…erm….
      InHairLex?

    • That’s clearly the rap duo Wrinkly Pete and Fresh Killa Kat

    • DainBramage

      Garfunkel and Oates after a really bad night?

    • wait! what?

      Garfunkel Garfield and Oates.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Pinky and the Raisins

    • data_ninja

      That’s looks like E.T. and his rappin’ pal Fone Homie

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      They seem kinda Seattle grunge, so I’m going with Purrvana.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Proon & Wan Side Eye

    • Master Contrail Program
    • wait! what?

      Tegan and Sara.

      …all they wanna do is get a little bit closer…

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Did Kurt and Courtney have a band?

    • Master Contrail Program

      USA Freedom Kidz after becoming cynical and jaded due to the lack of Trump moneez.

    • therblig

      The Strolling Prunes

    • gallbladder

      The White Stripes?

    • mailman27

      Not In A Dark Alley

    • Jenny

      Tek 9 lives
      Compton pussy patrol featuring Snoop Lion
      Paris Hilton and the cats in heat
      Death cab for kitty

    • Courser_Resistance

      The one on the left kinda looks like Gedde Lee from…. Rush! Okay, not as stoned as I thought. Take off you hoser!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So how many “thoughts and prayers” have been offered? Do I even want to know?

    • You might be surprised that the number of thoughts and prayers directly opposes the amounts of maybe we should not sell everyone a bajillion bang sticks by a factor of about 184567 to 1

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      They had to tap the Strategic Thoughts and Prayers Reserve.

    • AOT,K.

    • OutOfOrbit

      be easier to list those who are not on the list

    • Jamoche

      https://splinternews.com/every-member-of-congress-who-took-money-from-the-nra-an-1819059582
      Every Member of Congress Who Took Money From the NRA and Tweeted ‘Thoughts and Prayers’ to Las Vegas

      • WomanInThePersistence

        May they go to the special hell.

        • gallbladder

          Extra hot.

    • Begin Anew Day

      The usual round of litanies offered up by the usual suspects.

  • Nounverb911
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Stulexington

      So most of the time then.

    • Rocket Pony Ron

      Funny how often ordinary, innocent, uninvolved people end up being the ones paying that price.

  • Nounverb911

    I was going to put on the news, instead, I think I’ll watch football, it’s less violent.

  • ltmcdies

    Stop me if you’ve heard this one:
    A Trump cabinet member has to get somewhere:

    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/914923821425201158

    • Hi ya, Zinky! Your turn you crumbling shit muffin!

    • Nounverb911

      Next time, ride your horse.

    • Sophia

      Some twit was on CNN the other night trying to compare Lynch’s use of non-commercial flights to Price. Isn’t she required by law to use non-commercial flights? There was no push back using that point. You would think that the news host would research the topic a little before getting these talking heads on their show but I think he was clueless. God bless their pointy little heads.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s remarkable that these disgraceful specimens actually managed to be replaced by people worse than them in Congress. There truly is no bottom of the barrel.

      • Stulexington

        Alex Jones 2024.

        • SisterArtemis

          YOU WITHDRAW THAT STATEMENT FROM THE UNIVERSE RIGHT NOW YOUNG…ER…PONY!!!

          • Stulexington

            Wait till you see who’s running as VP.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Don’t even say it…

    • SayItWithOtters

      This is probably the best explanation I’ve seen for him and Pruitt:

      https://www.vox.com/energy-and-environment/2017/10/2/16395370/epa-secret-phone-booth

      “Most people on the left these days take a basically cosmopolitan view of American democracy. They see the battle between left and right as taking place within a larger framework of transpartisan rules and norms, to which both sides are subject. The framework serves to set limits on political contests.

      The US right, by contrast, has become almost entirely tribalist. Movement conservatives do not acknowledge a transcending framework; they see only the contest between the two sides, with everything at stake. They view the invocation of transpartisan rules as a rhetorical bid by liberals, to be mimicked when useful, but never a restraint on behavior. …

      The best window into this worldview comes not from Pruitt but from Zinke, who said, to a federal advisory board stacked with fossil fuel executives, that “I got 30 percent of the crew that’s not loyal to the flag.” Zinke is telling fossil fuel executives that the fossil-fuel team has captured an enemy vessel. In his mind, the department and its rules are the enemy. He’s got control of the enemy vessel, but it’s tenuous, because he’s only got a small staff of loyalists. The rest of Interior staff is Them, the enemy, disloyal to Us.”

      • Most people on the left these days take a basically cosmopolitan view of American democracy

        Ok but the next person who calls the left cosmopolitan is getting a left hook of votes.
        Fer cryin out loud, we have the ACTUAL working poorz, fuck off with that shit that it is “cosmopolitan” to expect political leaders to fucking behave themselves with our money

  • WomanInThePersistence
    • ltmcdies

      A tad premature

    • Suttree

      From what I read he is still alive but life support has been removed. Death seems imminent.

      • jowgajen

        No brain function. You can wait for cardiac “death” but brain “death” is legit too.

        • Suttree

          I have my advance directive filled out.

  • RWNJ who is primarying Heller from the right pulled the “too soon” card. He seems like a dickbag. Shocked i am.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Saw that. Couldn’t hit the mute button fast enough.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      He’s been a political gadfly here for 14 years. He is every bit the dickbag that he displayed today.

  • Nounverb911
    • Stulexington

      It’s a good thing there’s no rules against false idols.

      • Nounverb911

        Isn’t that one of the Ten Sharia’s, Something something false witness?

      • Begin Anew Day

        Yeah. I’d be fucked since all my idols are false and/or insincere.

      • gallbladder

        That particular idol is all-too-real.

  • Lizzietish81

    Watching Best of Both Worlds, damn good television.

    I felt like watching it after seeing an inane conversation on reddit, where someone asked how it was that DS9 started with survivors from the Wolf 359 battle when CLEARLY in BoBW it was said there were no survivors.

    Clearly Sisko is a zombie or all of Deep Space Nine is a dying fantasy of his.

  • HazooToo
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      (looks in pants)

      Yeah, pretty much.

      • Suttree

        You should see a doctor about the ears. Those aren’t on a normal foreskin.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          that’s why I said ” pretty” much.

          ; p

    • Jenny

      Non salted rat dick

  • Donkey Option
    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s a lovely kitty! Thanks.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Pretty kitty! Thanks!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      awww, that looks like my dad’s kitteh. It died right before dad did and I think it’s death broke him. Their ashes are interred together.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        That’s sad and beautiful.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          yeah, they were both grumpy curmedgeonly ole bastards. They “got” each other.

      • Suttree

        Wow! That is kitty love!

    • Parakeetist

      O hai

  • Angela Ruzzo

    OT: I need some advice, which will hopefully take someone’s mind off the nightmare violence in Las Vegas and the suffering in Puerto Rico, which I can’t deal with right now because I am powerless to do anything about either one. I had a horrible, god-awful, disgusting experience at a Day’s Inn in Kansas City, MO Saturday night – drunken, foul-mouthed football revelers on the balconies until 3 am, hookers in the room next door, drug deals in a car in the parking lot, bedbugs, police sirens racing by all night long…Also, the phone in my room didn’t work, and the door between my wing of the motel and the main building was locked at 11 pm, so I couldn’t contact the lobby to complain to the manager about any of this. I got about 3 hours of sleep. This occurred after the Day’s Inn in Kansas City, KS, at which I originally reserved two rooms, lost our reservation, which I had prepaid and confirmed the day before, and Wyndham Hotels Customer Service sent us to the awful motel 15 miles away near the Royals stadium, so you can see that I was not in the mood for a sleepless night in a crappy, bug-infested motel in a high crime neighborhood.

    I have demanded a full refund, manager is offering only 25% refund. He swears there are no bedbugs, but I saw the bedbug feces in the sheets, and I was bitten while I slept. I do not have a smart phone, so I couldn’t take pictures, and my camera was in my car, which I couldn’t get to since the door to the lobby was locked. Does anyone have any practical advice on how to coerce the rude, aggressive motel owner to give me at least a 50% refund that does not involve an expensive lawsuit?

    • h4rr4r

      Report him to the chain.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I did that. In fact I called Wyndham Hotels first, because I made the original reservation and the substitute reservations through them, and I’ve been a Wyndham Rewards member for 20 years. They passed it on to the motel owner, who called me.

        • h4rr4r

          Call them back and tell them that they owe you the balance.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            That’s a great idea, thanks! They owe me for losing my original pre-paid reservations. And Jesus Christ, was the desk clerk at the original motel a moron, she had no clue what to do, said she had 2 free rooms and gave us keys, but those rooms were occupied and we walked in on strangers, which could have been hugely embarrassing. She didn’t even know how to call Customer Service to fix the lost reservation problem, I had to do it myself on my cell phone, and it took AN HOUR to get new reservations out of them.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      No, I’m afraid I don’t have an immediate remedy. But continuing to pass on this news may be helpful in the long run.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Do you have social media accounts? Companies sometimes respond better that way.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Alas, no, I don’t do social media. I am an Old, and a bit of a Luddite.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Letters really work. As do emails.

        • Donkey Option

          Have a friend or family member do it on your behalf, and see if you can post it on Tripadvisor and the like. Social Media is way more powerful these days than almost anything else, and most companies will bend over backwards to try to scrub bad social media coverage.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            TripAdvisor is a great idea, thanks.

        • ariel_gee_398

          You could try a nastygram – write them and tell them, in a polite but firm tone, that they owe you a refund and for the cost of fumigating/replacing anything damaged by the bed bugs, that you will be reporting them to the BBB, and that if they don’t resolve it to your satisfaction they’ll be hearing from your lawyer. You don’t have to actually get a lawyer and pursue it, but the threat might be helpful.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Great idea, thanks!

      • miss_grundy

        I would say use the social media accounts to call out the Wyndham Hotel on losing your reservation and sending you to that lousy motel. And report the incident to the chain. And if the local news station has a consumer watchdog tell them about your experience. Perhaps the reporter can get you your money back or at least a sizeable refund.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Great idea, thanks! I don’t have social media accounts, but letters and emails might work.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Fumigate your clothes and your luggage! Bedbugs love hitching rides to new environments. Good luck with the rest of that shit.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Thanks for the warning! Everything from the car is now sitting on my back patio, except all the washable items which went directly into the washing machine with hot water. I read you can either freeze things to kill the bugs, or heat them to 120 degrees. This will be difficult to do with a suitcase, so I am looking for fumigating chemicals. Can they get into the car and stay there? I have not parked it in the garage, just in case.

        • Bezoar

          Do you live where it freezes? Somebody might be operating a vapor phase agricultural sterilizer near where you live. Ethylene oxide works really well, if you can get ampules of it to toss into a big plastic bag with all your luggage. Good luck.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I do live where it freezes, but it probably won’t freeze until late November or early December. Last year we had very little winter at all, so it’s a crap shoot. I live in a university town, surely someone on campus can advise about sterilization?

          • Chemicals of last resort: My advice is to call a pro for that one.
            And slap the hotel with an invoice for the bill also
            Over the counter bug chemicals only kill random adults. For Bedbugs, you need the pro service.
            Good luck :hugs:

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Thanks! :hugs:

          • Bezoar

            Maybe it would be relatively easy to gently bake your luggage? I haven’t looked up time/temp lethality curves for bedbugs lately, but I think it might be not so difficult to do thermal sterilization.

          • Angela Ruzzo