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When I come home at night she will be waiting / She'll be the truest doll in all this world / I'd rather have a paper doll, to call my own / Than have a fickle minded real live girl
‘Chobits’ was supposed to be a cautionary tale, not an aspiration…

Our deletia this week ran the gamut from D to D-minus, with a prime example being this brilliant observation from a “OneGalo,” a guy who just wanted us all to know why sex robots will replace all the real women, because science:

Women hardly ever invent anything, most men visualize and systematizes which is why sex dolls are just as appealing as real women sometimes even more so, all that is needed is the visual and physical presence, personality is secondary especially in the context of the modern day self delusional women who thinks the world owe them something. Virtual reality, sex robots, better AI, you name it, it will be those house geeks that learned how to program and hack systems in their teens owning and creating sex dolls and virtual reality in the future. Women will make good product managers and social workers as usual and market these male inventions to the customers probably sucking a few dicks in an attempt to climb up the social ladder along the way, while crying about sexual harassment at the work place. Some things will never change.

Guess he’s got the right dynamic for the New Frontier. We must confess we’re a bit unclear how, even were it true that “women hardly ever invent anything” (have a word with Ada Lovelace, Hedy Lamarr, and Grace Hopper about where your smartphone would be without them), that would mean that sex dolls are as attractive as real ladypeople to men who visualize and systametizes alla time. Forgive our skepticism, but we doubt “OneGalo” has invented anything himself; even his pseudo-scientific explanation of why women lack the cognitive hotstuff to attract great technical minds like his sounds awfully derivative.

Also, too, we should note that his listed email address for Disqus was “cockcarnage@[redacted]” — again, unclear whether that’s because his cock wreaks carnage, or if he shredded it trying to have marital relations with a mannequin stolen from a defunct department store.

That same story also caught the attention of one “Dick Headly” (clever, amirite?), who doesn’t like this here “Wonkette” place, not one bit:

Seriously the worst site ever. If wonkette (whatever the fuck that means) wasn’t in league with Google nobody would even know they exist. Pointless dribble.

Never mind the unfortunate confusion between dribble and drivel (SAD!), we want to know more about our being “in league with Google.” Was there a hostile takeover Rebecca didn’t tell us about? How would she even leverage that big a deal? Will I have to start wearing pants?

In late-night comments on last week’s Deleted Comments post, we received a bizarre series of complaints from “lmur2017,” who was very angry about an atrocity we committed: “lmur2017” wanted us to take down a terrible, terrible article in which we made fun of her supposed great-aunt, except she never posted the URL or headline of the offending article:

You are a garbage website and deserve any karma that comes at you. Do you remember making fun of a photo of my 85 yo great-aunt? An everyday American who was featured in a low-income seniors WAPO article. Sadly she passed away with your garbage article still being posted.

But hey “resistance”….

But hey “feminism”….

You liberals are mentally ill and are so, so, so hypocritical.

Wonkers kept asking for details, and all “lmur2017” would reply was that it was the one with a WaPo photo of her deceased great-aunt, and boy, was she disgusted with the hypocrisy of the left!

LOL, no just don’t like HYPOCRITES. Delete the story of a low-income elderly woman’s photo that was featured in WAPO and you won’t see me again. Horrible. An everyday 85 yo low income senior’s photo is made of fun and this site publishes it? GARBAGE. Call me a troll all you want & report me all you want. I’m not stopping until the article is removed.

Would she offer any details? Nope, except to tell us to search the googles for “85 year old washington post wonkette,” which didn’t turn up anything, either. And how did “lmur2017” come across the offending article, anyway?

I googled to print out a copy of my gr-aunt’s obituary and saw the crap article. So yeah-You are GARBAGE just like this site if your condone it.

In reply to readers’ request for a link or a headline, all she would reply was that “a two-year old could find it” (which led some not careful readers to assume the article was two years old, but “lmur2017” never said that), or “Wonkette knows. And has their archives handy,” and so on. Interspersed among the 50-odd (very odd) comments were some bog-standard insults toward all us terrible liberals, like “do you need a safe space” and “Donald Trump is your president.” And many many condemnations of all the monsters here who “mock 85 year old low-income elderly woman” [sic]. Eventually, she told people to “ask dlat” about the article, which helped a little bit: David Lat, who founded and edits the Above The Law blog, did indeed write for Wonkette from January through July of 2006, but that didn’t help much, since he never published anything with the hed “Here, mock a Washington Post photo of an 85-year-old low-income woman who is the great-aunt of some wingnut who’ll post here in 2017.”

But that was at least enough to eventually figure out what the hell “lmur2017” was on about: this piece from February 15, 2006, in which Mr. Lat noted a passing similarity between an elderly woman featured in a WaPo piece and Harry Whittington, the lawyer who Dick Cheney accidentally shot in the face. Lat’s piece was simply the headline — “No, Silly, That’s Not Harry Whittington” — the picture of the woman, and this:

Note to selves: Drink coffee before scanning the morning headlines…

Or going quail hunting.

(The photograph is actually of “[name removed so it won’t come up in new searches — Dok], 85, [who] has lived in Arlington, Va., at a building for low-income seniors since 1990. Michael Williamson/Post.”)

Far from caustic mockery. But, yes, Lat said the woman looked a bit like the lawyer who apologized to Dick Cheney for getting shot in the face by him. But here’s the thing: like most articles from Old Wonkette Days, the picture file is missing, lost long ago in one of our server swaps.

So now we’re even more mystified, since while it turns out the article exists, there’s no way in hell a casual search for the woman’s name would bring up that article or Wonkette’s long-ago use of the photo, as “lmur2017” claims happened when she was looking for an obituary. The WaPo photo — which really is lovely — is the first “image” result, but an image search doesn’t bring up the Wonkette story. And in a straight text search on the woman’s name, Wonkette’s piece doesn’t appear in the first dozen pages of results (so much for being in league with Google!).

So either “lmur2017” came across that old Wonkette piece years ago and had been nursing a grudge against us ever since, or… we have no idea. A wingnut who went looking for something to pretend to be angered by? Neither I nor Rebecca had heard from “lmur2017” by email, and in fact, when I replied to her initial post asking her to email me, she then deleted that comment herself. I’m also pretty certain the complaint wasn’t from the troll we wrote about in last week’s Dear Shitferbrains — “Trump is your president” doesn’t sound like him. Very odd. So should we take down an article from 2006 for being horrible? Since the photo isn’t there anymore, I’m inclined to leave it up — at least this week, since you terrible people will want to see it now. And now we probably will have to delete this very article, since it mentions the photo too, and makes light of a blogging atrocity from 2006 by a writer who surely doesn’t remember saying a nice old woman featured in a WaPo article looked a little like someone who was briefly a name in the news.

Finally, an actual email from a reader, to Evan, in reply to the daily Wonkette Newsletter featuring Evan’s story headlined “OMG Y’all, President Stupidass Actually Thinks He’s #WINNING This Football Fight.” Evan said in the Wonkette Sekrit Chat Cave that he’d gotten an email from a newsletter subscriber who “only subscribed so we could make him MAD apparently”:

Re: OMG Y’all, President Stupidass Actually Thinks He’s #WINNING This Football Fight

Ian C____
6:52 PM (12 hours ago)

to me
TRUMP ALWAYS WINS YOU PRICK

Said Evan, “I didn’t even notice it at first until I was like ‘wait, Ian C____ is not MY name, this is a reply!'”

So that’s another way to amuse oneself online: subscribe to newsletters you’ll hate, then write bitchy replies to the bastards sending them to you.

Yr Wonkette is supported by Reader donations. CLICK HERE so we can offend somebody eleven years down the road!

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  • Edith Prickly

    People are fucking weird.

    • OutOfOrbit

      yes we are

    • Candy Matson Y-28209

      Sometimes gloriously so, but not in the case of these jerks

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Actually I fuck normally, just with weird partners.

  • Scooby

    Can I get a Marie Curie sex doll?

    • Pffft!

      Nobel prizes in chemistry and physics, but what did she invent?

      • Scooby

        Radium and Polonium. But maybe she wished she hadn’t.

      • Bad Tom

        …but what did she invent?

        Radiochemistry.

      • Daniel

        Polish.

    • Bad Tom

      Glow comes standard.

    • Daniel

      She’s almost a scientific saint- hence the halo given her by YECs.

  • cleos_mom

    Of course, sex dolls won’t point and laugh if/when the little admiral takes a knee, so to speak.

  • therblig

    here’s hoping all those bright young men stop fucking around with fusion and redirect their efforts to creating a fleshlight with a sparkling personality.

    • Candy Matson Y-28209

      But he distinctly says men don’t want personality in a real lady.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Well, at least Dick Headly realizes he’s a Dick Head, and that’s more self-awareness than trolls usually possess.

    • richardgrabman

      I donno, some of us have somewhat unusual real names that even a moderately creative 6th grader could get some giggles out of.

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    I am a (very late blooming, sadly) stem major.

    I do not want a sex doll.

    I would like a real lady, please, thank you.

    The end.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Choose wisely. Turns out character is really important when choosing a real life mate.

      • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

        Don’t I know it

  • (((fka_donnie_d))), SOB

    Why do these people feel the need to preach to liberals, anyway? Why won’t they just finally, mercifully fuck off like they keep threatening to?

    If these people didn’t vote in my elections, I certainly wouldn’t give a fuck about their stupid ideology. As it is, I certainly don’t kid myself that I will change their minds about anything anytime soon.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “lmur2017” …. and almost all of the Poutrage Trolltools are useless shitnozzles. Fuckem’!

    https://i.imgur.com/pR3tklc.gif

  • Latverian Diplomat

    The “men are visual” thing annoys me, because the examples of what makes someone “visual” are cherry picked.

    Lots of visual aspects of our culture, arts and crafts, interior design, fashion, are dominated by women as consumers and as creators.

    All people “visualize” to a greater or lesser extent. It’s channeled by societal gender roles into “permissible” or “impermissible” activities for men and women, enforced by the usual assholes.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “Guess he’s got the right dynamic for the New Frontier.”

    https://youtu.be/Y8zrKnkd6ss

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      As I have observed before, I think Dok snuck in one night and stole my albums after I ripped them to my music server.

    • Parakeetist
  • Ghenghis McCann

    Sorry OneGalo, they haven’t increased the character limit on Twitter yet, so I’ve cut down your rant to something shorter. ‘Women hate me because I’m a sexist arsehole.’

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    I love how this dope uses “systematizes” like it’s some fancy technological word when all it really means is “utilizes a system”.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      He has the biggest wurdz.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I’m gonna go systematize my laundry now so that my darks and lights don’t mix.

        • willi0000000

          BIGOT!!!!!

      • Kateaux

        The best wurds. And he has them bigly,

    • That sentence made no sense at all. Men visualize and systematizes?
      Men do NOT systematizes. That is not a thing that happens. They might systematize, maybe, like humans tend to, but Men do not systematizes.

    • jesterpunk

      Someone used the buzzword bullshit generator to make their comment.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Dear Wonkette,

    Your websites’s use of binary code offends me because of the many zeroes in my family tree. Please restrict yourself to using ones only from now on, if you have any sense of decency.

    Sincerely,
    An innocent victim of your numerical oppression

    PS Trump is your President!

    • OutOfOrbit

      “ones” is not a binary

      • Bad Tom

        It is 1/2 a binary. A unary.

        • clairence

          no, you nary!

        • OutOfOrbit

          that’s what Jen said

    • jesterpunk

      The ones keep getting stuck in the intertubes so they have to send some zeros to clear out the tubes.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        It’s not like a big truck or something.

        • Bad Tom

          Also, too, there is no big water, such as an ocean, blocking the way.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who know about binary, and those who do not.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Trump always wins. It’s in his name, Trump! Like in bridge!”

    “Really, because the popular vote in 2016 was clearly bidding 4 No Trump.”

  • So that’s another way to amuse oneself online: subscribe to newsletters you’ll hate, then write bitchy replies to the bastards sending them to you.

    Sorta like boycotting Starbucks by buying coffee from Starbucks?

    • clairence

      is that what that’s called? I’ve been doing that for years.

    • efoveks

      Don’t forget to complain that they keep filling up the cinnamon shaker, etc because clearly they are monsters!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Evan said in the Wonkette Sekrit Chat Cave that he’d gotten an email from a newsletter subscriber who “only subscribed so we could make him MAD apparently”:

    The newsletter arrives….and he can’t wait to get it.

    https://i.imgur.com/zH8nZF7.gif

    • clairence

      wth? is this a darwin award nominee?

    • Bad Tom

      You probably can catch a basketball casually thrown while seated and drunk.
      But a really big chunk of wood cut from a tree?

      No.

      • If we want to do science at your claim, we need more trials. Any volunteers?
        [nothing]
        Real men only, of course.
        [hands raised]

        • Bad Tom

          I’ll observe and take notes.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I bet that made Darwin smirk for a moment.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I’m guessing the first guy hasn’t invented anything so he has to tack onto other people who have and find the one common thing they share to make himself seem superior despite his failures as a human being.

    • Inventiveness?
      No, that’s not it. Hmm.

      Oooh! Self-awareness!
      No, that’s not it either.

      [racks brain]

  • bubbuhh

    Itz common here in teh Trailer Park that until teh 1960s or so, menz generally took all teh credit for stuff thought up by wimmenz cuz menz were earned teh munny. Wimmenz dint need munny. They jes needed a menz (OR TWO!!) to have teh prettty thingz they little heartz desires.

    In spite uv teh entertaining Buffy Teh Vampire Slayer episodes on this subject, wunt be surprized if teh original sex dollz were invented by wimmenz who wanted teh pigs they were married off to stop bothering them for unsatisfying grunt n slobber. Certainly, a sex doll that could ackshully talk wud be a wimmenzly invention and not some dimwit MRA/MGTOW who really dont want hear wimmenz talk.

  • Panika MCD

    obligatory repost of Mayor Adler’s article to the guy who said he’d boycott Austin if the Alamo Draft House* was allowed to have a screening of Wonder Woman:

    What if someone thought you didn’t know that women invented medical syringes, life rafts, fire escapes, central and solar heating, a war-time communications system for radio-controlling torpedoes that laid the technological foundations for everything from Wi-Fi to GPS, and beer?

    http://www.mayoradler.com/letter-wonder-woman/

    *Alamo Draft House is now in some trouble over responses and comments made by its owner about sexual harassment. it has nothing to do with the screening in question, but a troll might try to “both sides duet” so I figured I’d acknowledge it up front.

  • clairence

    So that’s another way to amuse oneself
    online: subscribe to newsletters you’ll hate, then write bitchy replies
    to the bastards sending them to you.

    That could be a very lucrative revenue stream. See if you can’t get the reddit/4chan/fauxnews crowd fired up to subscribe and just blaze away. Maybe with a *super secret special* contact email that only their greatnesses could use to talk to you directly. At “preferred customer” subscription rates, of course.

    • Bad Tom

      To reply click the PayPal link
      They would do it.

    • efoveks

      “super secret special” contact email = dev/null? Perfect!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    If I were the NFL jugadores de futbol, today before the game I wouldn’t take one knee, I would bow my head and take two. And before the game I would put out a press release that said, “Today we offer up this prayer before our game: Dear Lord, please send your infinite love and kindness to our brothers and sisters in Puerto Rico so that they may be strengthened in the their resolve to overcome this test that lies before them.” Kills two secular birds with one holy stone. Let the Cristo-fascist in chief attack that.

    • Nice.

    • SadDemInTex

      Yes!!!!

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Many of the kids taking a knee in HS games here are saying that they pray during the anthem.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        My high school biology teacher had a moment of silence at the beginning of class on Mondays. She couldn’t say it was for prayer, since it was a public school, but it was for prayer. While she prayed, most of us dozed.

  • I have a complaint: This is pretty slim pickins fer a new monkier.
    But hey feminism Jen?
    85 yr old ask dlat Jen?
    visualizing systematics Jen?
    Srsly, do better, Trolls.

    • JCfromNC

      I like the current ‘nym and think you should keep it until something really good comes along. Not that my opinion matters much.

      • Hm. You may be right. There have been weeks of no shitferbrainz that I had to keep it until something better afforded.

      • Ricky Gay

        Opinion matters much Jen?!

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I also want to point out that these sorts of losers pathologize men.

    It’s all about sticking your dick in a hole and nutting to them. No wonder they can’t find a girl who likes them. They’re a bunch of fucking loser animals looking for a fuck hole.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      And, since the basic Fleshlight is $65, they probably can’t afford that since most of their money comes from cleaning their mom’s garage.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    “Women hardly ever invent anything, most men visualize and systematizes which is why sex dolls are just as appealing as real women sometimes even more so, all that is needed is the visual and physical presence, personality is secondary…”{{{WHACK!!!}}}

    What in the actual titanium-plated manned-spaceflight-rated shit-filled actual fuck!

    I do not find objects as appealing as I do women. I like, and love women for the fact that they have minds and souls. So far, objects do not have minds or souls. Maybe someday, but that’s many years off, if ever. The “personality being secondary” part is utter unmitigated enriched weaponized bullshit of mass destruction.

    There can be no clearer example of how these scumbag vermin see women as nothing but objects. They see a sex-providing machine, an object, as being equivalent to a real human being. I can’t even… I can’t even begin to understand what the everliving fuck is going on with these fucking pieces of shit who claim to be “men.” Spit!

    I am physically sick. To me, these idiots are dead. They are objects. They are pieces of shit.

    I need to throw up now.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      For me, the entire thing about sex is pleasing your partner.

      The robot doesn’t care.

      • These guys do not care either, hence their desire for dolls

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        You just know they’re one pump and done.

      • OutOfOrbit

        me too and am afraid that, for me, it may be an ego/power thing that ultimately satisfies [me]

        –not sayijng it’s like that for you

        • If it satisfies you to satisfy your partner, I doubt that is ego or power more than simple human love.
          see also: those who volunteer at charities to help others. But with sexxy times

          • OutOfOrbit

            thx that is nice, i really donut understand all of me true motivators

    • Look at it this way:
      These guys will never procreate.
      Makes it a LOT better to consider it from that pov

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I hope to Darwin, you are right.

        • Simple laws of biology. If your sex partner is a doll, there is no way you are impregnating it.
          Would be a HOOT to see these dorks and the “must preserve the white race!!!” MRAs goin at it.
          I will bring popcorn

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Yeah, you are right. Yet we also have men who want to trick women into having babies, men who rape women, etc. I am afraid to take this to it’s logical conclusion.

          • That is a different subset of men, and a different problem.
            These specific ones ain’t makin no babbies any time soon.
            Like I said, I’d love to see a discussion between the sex doll MRA and the trick a girl to pregnancy MRA.
            I can imagine the name calling. Cuck will be mild.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Popcorn, indeed.

          • The impregnate the female MRA would be all…you’re not even real men! You can’t even get a woman! LOZER
            and the robot MRA would be all you are fallin for their wiles! YOU ARE THE LOZER!!!!
            It would disintegrate from there.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    These guys who prefer sex robots to women (or men, for that matter..) should be gelded, as they obviously have no need for the equipment.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      A-fucking-men.

      Honestly, so many of them are digging this Neo Nazi shit, and if any one else took such an ideology seriously these guys would be culled because they’re completely worthless to the country and humanity.

    • They’re already self gelded, hence the need for dolls

  • stumpknocker

    a black woman plotted the trajectory that put John Glen into space and back safely, i recon that makes her a rocket scientist.

  • Bad Tom

    This isn’t Weird Science, it’s Stupid Science.

    • at least the woman in weird science had a brain and did her own thing, not to mention taught the dorks that no, what they needed was to stop being schmucks and THEN they could get real girls

      • efoveks

        And don’t forget to hook up the doll!

    • bubbuhh

      Nut Science atoll. Itz stoopit fantasy.

  • Scooby

    Do these sex dolls come with a self destruct feature?

  • efoveks

    There is a theory that women invented math in the course of weaving rugs, in order to plot the patterns they wanted to weave into said rugs. I like to think they invented it to figure out how many kids they were having and how much money their husbands really made, but that’s just me :D

    • LucindathePook

      Well, Jacquard looms were regulated by punch cards, which led to Hollerith cards which programmed early computers, so there that connection.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Brings chills. In university, I learned FORTRAN by punch cards. I still have nightmares.

        At least I didn’t have to take COBOL with punch cards.

        • LucindathePook

          Oh, I used to program with them at my job back in the day.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Then, there was paper tape. Used to load programs into minis with paper tape. Luckily, this was after somebody invented ROMs so that we didn’t have to toggle in the boot code in the front panel in order to load the operating software into one of those beasts.

          • Parakeetist

            I love old-school technology.

        • H0mer0

          wasn’t the inventor of COBOL a lady and a General officer?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Admiral Grace Hopper.

  • Daniel

    I think “cock carnage” is a tribute to the time he tried to make a basic pleasure model out of his toaster.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Who says women never invent anything? Why, just this moment, I invented a twist-yer-penis-into-a-pretzel device and I need a volunteer to test it. OneGalo (heh, who are you kidding? that’s NoGalo’s) seems like the perfect candidate for such an experiment.

    • OutOfOrbit

      donut look at me!

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        If you don’t behave, you could be next.

        • OutOfOrbit

          i try to behave but it is so HARD!

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        *peeks* I heard donut.

        • OutOfOrbit

          they like to watch, so keep them covered

        • Tishalicious

          I heard ‘Hard’!

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Call before midnight and we’ll include the “Cap Snaffler” absolutely free.

    • Gary Charound

      No thanks. I don’t want to be a salted.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        The only thing a’salted ’round here are the toasted rat dicks.

    • Objection! You are assuming a penis not in evidence!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Cool idea! I would love to volunteer but I hate pretzels. Sorry.

    • Parakeetist

      Does it have lasers?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        It does now!

        • Parakeetist

          Whee

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Suck it up, Imur2017–this is my deceased great Aunt, and you don’t hear me belly aching:
    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/173/576/Wat8.jpg?1315930535

    • Is it really?

    • Wonky Magoo FKA HorseChestnut

      Oh cool, she looks like an owl!

      • H0mer0

        or when Tweety Bird drinks the potion that turns him into Tweety Hyde.
        (when I’m old enough, I’ve got my look picked out: the tiny nun in “Amercord” who yells at Zio to get him to come down from the tree.)

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Fuck me runnin’!

      That was the image I was thinking of when I was reading the article above.

  • SayItWithWookies

    A man who presently blames his insecurities and failures on women and who gets a sexbot to hump will, in about a year or two, start blaming his insecurities and failures on sexbots, sure as little green apples evolved.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      He’ll blame the programming on a secret cabal of feminists bent on male destruction.

      • Can we do that? Cause that would be funny.
        Let us market a talking sex bot and after date 3, they start laughing or nagging.
        IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY

        • therblig

          sheep do not find this possibility amusing.

    • Vacuous Virgina

      It never asks me about my day 😇

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Parakeetist

      Marie Curie on line one.

  • Ellie

    Those at the beginning of your article should also take note of Marion Donovan, whose invention, I’m sure, they were intimately familiar with in their past, and may still be, today (have to take less time away from the computer).

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    So, can we segregate these sorts of guys into the sexbot industry and leave the real science to cool dudes and chicks?

  • Ricky Gay
    • ariel_gee_398

      Never have I loved the hide media option more.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Never have I missed the collapse button more.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      He told Tillerson to stop talking to the Rocket Man after Tillerson announced they’d opened back channel communications with the help of China.

      Nobody ever got what they wanted out of Donnie by talking to him, so why would anyone else be different?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    modern day self delusional women who thinks the world owe them something

    Those broads want to get paid for their work these days? The NERVE!!!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c07274486e82e2000e0c175a981b499826a57d64e01bc6966dc877d9b0abdd73.jpg

  • bubbuhh
  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    “That’s Hedley” Lamar.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    probably sucking a few dicks in an attempt to climb up the social ladder along the way, while crying about sexual harassment at the work place

    Sets up world where women have to use sex to advance their careers and social positions, then complains that women would not be happy about having to do so. Implies that men are the real victims because they can’t get in on the complete exploitation fun.

    The MRAs have a real talent for setting up scenarios where they can wallow in self-pity, don’t they?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      It’s their primary skillset.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        The only one they cultivate.

    • bubbuhh

      Think mebbe they MRAz sad cuz they cant swallow in self pity cuz stoopit n ugly.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      I have suck many a dick in my day and never once got a promotion at work for it. Is it because I am not a wimmiz? Was I doing it wrong?

      • H0mer0

        Didn’t get Luther Strange the nomination.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Life is hard when you are a snowflake.

  • Carole

    I could dissect that MRA/Incel comment and extract from it the fact that most men never invent anything, either (including most MRA/Incels). But I’ve got some patents to file. And the author has some video games to play.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Say, you know who else was in league with Google?

    • Doug Langley

      Gaggle?

    • Daniel

      Pushkin?

    • Bad Tom

      Amazon?

    • Covfefe

      Valodya

    • Nockular cavity

      Venom? Oh wait, that was Satan they were in league with.

  • snigsy

    The world’s gone fucking crazy. I think I will now spend some quiet time raking leaves, planting some tulip bulbs (assuming there will be a next year), and then pour myself a drink or two.

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    A mannequin? TBF, Kim Cattrall was pretty hawt!

  • Bad Tom

    Was there a hostile takeover Rebecca didn’t tell us about? How would she even leverage that big a deal? Will I have to start wearing pants?

    A much more important question: Where’s my billion dollars?

    • Right? If Wonkette is now in league with google, we better start seeing those google dollars.
      I demand sirens! And glitter!

      • Bad Tom

        Hell, didn’t Google buy an island recently?

        If they didn’t, they should. And give it to us.
        Preferably in a non-hurricane prone, yet pleasantly temperate, zone where pants are unnecessary, and those cakes we like grow on trees.

        • They really should. Let us call up the googles and tell them they need to make good on this, post haste

  • ariel_gee_398
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    In reply to readers’ request for a link or a headline, all she would reply was that “a two-year old could find it”

    “A two year old could find it” is this year’s “Do your research” then? In other words, the go-to retort by the wingnuts when they can’t back up their claims? Good to know, imur2017!

    • I am glad Dok found it because it was driving me nuts. I couldn’t find any pics of old ladies from dlat.
      Turns out it is because the image is not, in fact, there.

      • doktorzoom

        I needed Rebecca’s help, actually.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Ha! Couldn’t do it on your own, eh? Needed a women to do it for you, eh?

          Can’t figure out why I keep saying, “Eh?”

  • jesterpunk

    What could possibly go wrong?

    https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2017/10/3d-print-a-serial-free-handgun-at-home-with-the-latest-ghost-gunner-update/

    “It’s a certain type of person who builds and enjoys an AR-15—that’s a lot of gun, and most people don’t feel the need to have a big ol’ battle rifle,” Wilson says. “But we believe lots of people are interested in the conversation about an untraceable, concealable handgun. It’s been on the roadmap the whole time for this project. It’s just always been a question of how we get there, and it ended up being very, very difficult—kinda like the brass ring of the project, if you will.”

    Say you know who else would like an untraceable gun?

    • yes. Untraceable guns. No one would possibly use that for wrong.
      Can we sue manufacturers now? please?

      • jesterpunk

        They somehow are immune from lawsuits. Bernie is one of the people who are fine with gun manufacturers not being able to be sued for any shootings. He supported the 2005 Protection of Lawful Commerce in Arms Act.

        • Oh I know it. And generally, fine, we can’t sue the car maker for the DUI hit, we can’t sue the gun maker for the mass shooting (because that is their argument, no, really. Never mind that the entire purpose of guns is to SHOOT AND KILL).
          But in this case, if they are purposefully trying to make untraceable gun kits for people? That seems a sound suing.

          • jesterpunk

            If anything they will make it legal to sue the victims for making the gun owners look bad.

          • Lefty Wright

            They did that. A family who’s daughter was killed in the Aurora theater shooting sued the ammo dealer and lost. The dealer sued the family for legal expenses and won something like $200,000.

          • That….is horrifying. And even more horrifying that it is not surprising.

    • PubOption

      Officer Stockley?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Wasn’t that the plot of In the Line of Fire?

    • Doug Langley

      The villain in every Columbo episode?

    • Panika MCD

      [REDACTED]?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • A yep.
      Not the similarity with these guys. Each preferred doll type is different from the other.
      Each guy? Not so much.

    • bubbuhh

      At least teh MRAs r awl wearin pants at this meetin.

      • lil creepy the one in the top row is child sized with giant tits.
        No, make that, a lot creepy

        • bubbuhh

          She a hentai hunny fer shur

    • janecita

      I love how the dolls’ legs are permanently open.

      • FlemmishSpy

        Doll-spreading.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Geeze — if ever there was a room that smelled like month-old spooge…

      • georgiaburning

        That’s why Holiday Inn charges a big cleaning deposit for meeting rooms.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Didn’t their moms ever tell them not to wear dirty socks?

        • both ewww and hahahahaha
          Mostly ew

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            Then my work here is done

    • Lizzietish81

      So many things.

      I mean you have the guys with the dolls that are obviously cheaper, probably feeling insecure.

      Then some of them probably flew, which leads to interesting questions about TSA.

      And I wanted to find the scene in Supernatural where a guy is killed by his possessed real doll, but the search turned up some disturbing imagery.

    • Panika MCD

      it’s like rule 43, but for conventions.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      That’s just sad.

    • C4TWOMAN

      This is one of those sad but harmless things I shrug about. They’re not hurting anyone.
      Otoh MRA/mgtow using this to “get back ” at feminists are most certainly trolling. Most doll owners are very private.. for obvious reasons.

      • I find it fun that they are trying to get back at feminists. By ….removing themselves from the dating pool.
        Maybe we should reverse psychology. OH NOs DO NOT DO THAT!!! AIII am so triggered now sob please stop removing yourself from the dating poolz!

        • C4TWOMAN

          I just want the mgtow to GO.
          Hell, I’ll start a GoFundMe if it helps…
          But that would be a great way to raid them lol

          • Stulexington

            I actually love this idea. mgtow seem to be “you’ll miss me when I’m gone” so starting GoFundMe accounts to buy sex dolls so that men can keep going their own way will be priceless.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            It has some appeal, but then they would feel just as entitled to the dolls as they do to all the women who don’t want them. Let them buy their own damned dolls.

    • Alan

      No gay dolls allowed. Just guessing.

    • H0mer0

      Is the one next to the gentleman on the right supposed to be Callista or Deborah Harry?

  • Covfefe

    Can these sex dolls make a sammich?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Donald Trump is your president.”

    I love that one–the worse Donald does, the more the wingnuts desperately try to pin ownership of him on us. No, assholes, Cheeto Benito may be the POTUS, but he is not my POTUS, and you can’t make me say that he is TYVM…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b1c70659a03ee0eec307b224fe35429f1413dd896ff67561385b4dfe4bdb2278.jpg

    • jesterpunk
    • I legit heard a complaint at work that the liberals made them vote for Trump because they keep calling everyone racist or whatever.
      I laughed in their faces and asked “Do the liberals pick out your sweaters, too?”

      • jesterpunk

        That sounds like they are taking “personal responsibility” for their actions.

        • The tide is fer sure turning, slowly. They are now in “Let me make this someone else’s fault” phase, which is intertwined with the “Give him a chance” phase and of course, the usual “Well he won so we have to support him” phase.
          I laugh at all of them. Weirdly I would have thought this would make em all angry or mad about a thing and maybe they would STOP spouting BS in my face? Instead it makes them shame faced and slink off until they think of the next thing to ask me about.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            John Kasich being interviewed by Jake Tapper hinted that he might leave the Republican Party.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        That’s been in progress for a while: “Liberals said I was stupid for supporting Trump, which made me vote for Trump!”

        • Which only makes me wonder what else we can make them do. Since they are obviously so easily led. By Liberals.

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            Call for impeachment? Could we pretty, pretty please make them do that?

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            My Congresscritter, Rep. Al Green (D-TX) did so this week. I am so proud of him.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            LOL. Good point.

    • shivaskeeper

      Making an assumption that the people who are saying are not trolls I don;t think it’s as complicated as that.

      It’s simple childish tit for tat. With, possibly, somehow they will “trigger” you or make you look for a “safe space” or whatever other bullshit they claim all libtards to using whatever definition of the words they are using today. For eight years they got reminded that Obama was their President no matter how much they complained about him or the memes they started or the lies they told. He was their President then, just like Two Scoops is ours now, no matter how much we don’t like it*.

      So it really comes down to playing kids games.

      *They shouldn;t like him either, as he is clearly unfit for anything really. Libtard tears are more important to them or something.

  • folderol

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/50b3923965d734fca8ba8623030642ddae9635f2cb03f66fea72879f9577a575.jpg

    Dear Wonkette,

    I forbid you to make fun of my second cousin’s resemblance to Lady Gaga. It’s absolutely unacceptable.

    Signed
    Iam Beastly

  • Gary Charound

    All robots are sex robots to someone.

  • Panika MCD

    “dear Wonkies,

    my Bluie Louie [blue octopus toy] is the bestest and I would prefer if you stopped all discussion of rubby ducks and chikins as well as removing references from Even’s bio.

    just ‘coz I cannut read donut mean you should hurt Bluie Louie’s feelings.

    yours in toots,
    Calliope Jane” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9851e9710a0536e4375e62aab8fca9a744707ba83cbad1d8ed01ea5300e67706.jpg

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Bluie Louie must be respected.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    TRUMP ALWAYS WINS YOU PRICK

    Oh, is that why he hasn’t been able to talk about his position in the polls for months now?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/baae234eef8439761688067bd36e75ed28ece958e8e26ddf96bea5dc207c3543.jpg

    • ariel_gee_398

      He never settles lawsuits, either.

    • jesterpunk

      Didn’t they mean “Trump always whines”?

      • WIDTAP

        Hey, with 140 characters, sometimes you have to abbreviate.

      • Stulexington

        Whining all the time, whining so much you’ll be sick of how much whining there is.

    • I did notice after his disasterous crowing about 40% he has entirely shut up about polls XD And I think Fox stopped even running them

  • Daniel Hooper

    Pfft; what is up with these weirdos and robots, anyway? Now, if we can figure out how to make furries viable, come talk to me. But no more than one animal gets combined with a human! I will not be held responsible for a ManBearPig situation.

    • WIDTAP

      Apparently this problem is solved in New Zealand, what with the sheep farming and all.

  • WIDTAP

    “which is why sex dolls are just as appealing as real women sometimes even more so”

    Well, I suppose masturbation is cheaper than dating, but have you considered that you might be missing out on some of the social skills / EQ development aspects?

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Isn’t missing out on the social skills aspect the point?

      • Wonky Magoo FKA HorseChestnut

        Social skills are for girls. You’re not a real man unless you’re making everyone around you uncomfortable.

        (Also, it’s everyone else’s fault you’re lonely.)

    • C4TWOMAN

      Feature, not bug.

  • Mary Theresa

    The good news is: They can’t reproduce with a sex doll.

    • Michael R

      finally some good news

    • That is what I was saying. Also, it would be terrific fun to see these particular MRAs going at it with the we need to impregnate all the white women to preserve the race MRAs.
      They’d eviscerate each other, safe spaces will be violated, names will be called. We should kindly clue the one into the existence of the other, for science.

      • Stulexington

        Make sure you have plenty of popcorn first.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Experiments in Darwinism.

    • shivaskeeper

      Not very likely to reproduce with a real woman either. Unless of course they completely change their attitude, take a shower, not be creepy pricks, move out of the basement, and probably a whole range of other issues they need to work on.

      At that point they will be fairly normal, so it probably won’t be a problem anymore.

  • I got it!
    The troll was reading past things, and came across the caption for the missing photo, and decided to lie about it being THEIR auntie!
    Mystery solved :D

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I’m kinda glad these guys are obsessed with sex dolls/robots instead of unicorns.

    • wait! what?
      • Kiri the Unicorn

        My experience has been that if a man is that interested in unicorns, he’s worth dating a few times, at least.

        • wait! what?

          Would that make it a stable relationship?

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Or would they just be sowing some wild oats?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Sure, if they wanna harness me for some plowing.

          • puredog

            Just a little light shodomy, please.

          • Shibusa

            That is lame.

          • Nockular cavity

            Or they could be trying to stall.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Neigh.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            No Triggers.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Like Maggie Gyllenhaal in Secretariat?

          • guppy06

            My bunk, it calls to me…

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Yeah. She gives me the Lust.

        • The Wanderer

          Just making hay while the sun shines?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Three words: alfalfa-hashish brownies.

      • guppy06

        (Just don’t ask about Dok’s Twilight Sparkle full body pillow…)

        • shastakoala

          That’s supposed to be a secret. :)

    • C4TWOMAN

      Eh unicorns can look after them selves…

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        “Look Ma, no hands!”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    OT; headed up to the pines to celebrate my mother’s 93rd birthday. Grilling asparagus, roasting Hatch green chiles, and loading the cooler with beer. What says “93” more than green chile and beer?

    • Wonky Magoo FKA HorseChestnut

      Congrats!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      That’s the age where you just want to hear all their stories and hang on every word. Molotov!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Send a pic to Wonkette so they can make fun of her. It’s what they do.

  • Shibusa
    • OutOfOrbit

      that is just … just … eerie

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      I find this difficult to fap to

    • Nockular cavity

      Melania!

    • guppy06

      Is it just me, or is the sexbot rolling its eyes?

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        No fucks to give.

      • Red Richmond

        It’s definitely leaning its neck away from him. Something really off about those head/neck proportions too.

  • Nockular cavity

    the modern day self delusional women who thinks the world owe them something.

    Like, I don’t know, a little bit of respect?

    • C4TWOMAN

      You know when you were insecure at a point in and imagined ppl talking behind your back and got hurt and mad? (From grade to high school..+)
      Then you start actually talking to people and they’re just fine and it was all in your head?
      That’s what this is..on steroids. Except they don’t have level headed friends to give them a reality check.

      • wait! what?

        I think there’s some bath salts in there, too.

    • Parakeetist
  • wait! what?

    I don’t understand how Donald wins me prick; is it because he can’t win vagina?

    • James Baskin

      No. Because he wants prick.

  • anon_the_great

    Agalmatophilia is not a viable Darwinian strategy.

    Or IS it?

    • I for one welcome our new cybernetic overlords.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Sure it is. It’s a form of genetic de-selection.

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • Nockular cavity

    What a coincidence! I just happen to be making mock 85 year old low-income elderly woman soup.

    • Tiny kaiju

      Is that the one that uses Ritz crackers as a substitute?

      • Parakeetist

        Mmmm

      • Jon Sussex

        Depends.

    • Christopher Story

      Remember, it’s the mock turtle neck that really defines the broth.

  • Seamus Romney
    • Parakeetist

      YES

    • Stulexington

      Muuuuuuueller. Muuuuuueller.

      • puredog

        “Anyone? Anyone? Mueller?”

    • guppy06

      Before we get too far, does anybody here have a great aunt that looks like Mueller?

  • wait! what?
  • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

    I find it hard to believe we didn’t get any Deleted Comments on any or the PR stories.

    • Wonky Magoo FKA HorseChestnut

      Give it time.

  • WIDTAP

    Luvebots. What could possibly go wrong?

  • wait! what?

    The Melania-bot needs some work.

    https://youtu.be/b6NqscIsidQ

  • motmelere

    I honestly don’t get these people self-identifying as incels; perhaps being an unfuckable jerk makes one incapable of embarrassment of the condition.

    • shivaskeeper

      They are not embarrassed about it because the fault is with everyone else.

      They are pure, and nice, and Good Guys, and all the other things. It’s everyone else, literally everyone else, that has made them what they are. It’s the women’s fault most of all, of course, but everyone else shares a portion of the blame for them.

    • Stulexington

      Okay you want honest here it is. They, almost uniformly, have been hurt so badly they need a physical relationship before they can trust someone enough to open up emotionally. Which means they have a difficult road ahead of them because a lot of women out there have been hurt so badly they need an emotional relationship to trust someone enough to start a physical relationship.

      The reason behind it, by the way, is no excuse for their terrible behaviour.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Our culture also supports a myth that everyone “deserves” to be loved and “there is someone for everyone.” The truth is that some people just don’t find that connection for any number of reasons, some of which have nothing to do with their worthiness as a human being. Healthy people find a way to accept this and choose to have a happy life.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          This. I was married for a good long time, but I’m happier being single.

        • everstar

          I haven’t dated in twenty years due to emotional scarring and unrelated mental health issues. I used to think it wouldn’t be fair to a potential partner to drag them into my problems. I’m starting to rethink that, but I still would choose being independent, happy, and single over needing another person to prop me up.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    For the “Trump is YOUR PRESIDENT!!!” assholes:

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/914355707062956033

    • jesterpunk

      Hillary was for CHIP so of course they had to kill it.

    • Parakeetist

      Fuck that motherfucker

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The pro life party

      • wait! what?

        You can’t be the pro-life of the party unless you endanger the already born.

    • RobKanC

      If they are not in the womb, screw ‘em.

    • therblig

      perhaps they should have said more complimentary things about him instead of getting nasty.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Dear DNC: Any writers working on this for a political ad? What the fuck are you waiting for?

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Children are just Takers who expect free stuff. What have they ever done for the repubs?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        They want someone else to do everything for them.

    • miss_grundy

      Tangerini isn’t sweating it. He’s probably more worried about his golf score or how he can cheat to give himself and even bigglier golf score.

      • puredog

        Pfffft. The goal is a LESS-biglier golf score. He’s got the bigly golf score cornered already.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      To be fair, those 9 million lazy freeloaders can get jobs in the textile mills. Email Newtie[at]childlabor[dot]xxx details.

  • Count Awesome

    If “OneGalo” ever gets married, his wife will invent sleeping on the couch for him.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Like him getting married is ever going to happen.

      • guppy06

        He could always win the lottery and get himself a mail-order bride.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Handcuffs, restraints and duct tape included?

  • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

    There’s an interesting documentary, Guys and Dolls. It’s not prurient. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxCkULUnVH0

  • guppy06

    Was there a hostile takeover Rebecca didn’t tell us about? How would she even leverage that big a deal?

    Sandwich.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      This one was on a Brioche bun!

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The Trumpanzees, it must be noted (again) are usually a burger and fries short of a happy meal.

    • Opiwan

      Aww man, that means they still got the toy

      • Jonny On Maui

        Yeah, but they’ll eat that too…

    • Parakeetist

      Nom nom nom

  • VirginiaMorningBlend

    Searching for her great aunt’s obituary? Right. First send proof of death. She is prolly still alive. She might even be reading and posting here, defending the undefendable with screams of canned clams libelz. You can never be sure on the interwebs.

    • theCryptofishist

      Aunt probably faked her own death to get away from the disgrace of having a deleted commenter in her family.

  • The Wanderer

    “Trump always wins” because he always blames others for any defeats.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      This. ^^^

  • Maybe

    As a woman I am gratified and delighted that OneGalo has sworn off real women. That’s a break for women everywhere.

    And does OneGalo realize that it does not take a robot to replace him? All it takes is a small, plastic or rubbery implement. And those implements almost certainly exceed OneGalo’s performance.

    • OutOfOrbit

      plus they never complain and many are dish-washer safe

      • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

        How can you tell if they are dishwasher safe? (Asking for a friend)

        • BeachBum

          Put in a thermometer dur a load. Can’t be over 180 for 20 minutes. Or is that for roast beef ?

        • OutOfOrbit

          tis printed or embossed on it somewhere

      • Kneeling Bozilingus

        If you do it in a dishwasher, you are truly kinky (and quite agile, also, too.)

      • Maybe

        I’m certain the first does not apply to OneGalo, but it would be interesting to test the second.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      There are numerous exotic shapes and sizes available.

      • The Wanderer

        You’ve been perusing the Bad Dragon site again, haven’t you?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Okay, if I die suddenly? The dark blue nylon bag in the closet?

          Don’t look in it, just toss it in the bin.

          • Bad Tom

            For me, there is an entire closet, plus three or four sturdy tubs, then there’s the three complete racing suits, and five motorcycle helmets.

            I think they’ll need a dumpster.

      • Maybe

        So right there they have more character and personality than OneGalo does.

      • Maybe

        Agreed, but that’s also true of men if you just look in the right places.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Ms. Fünke?

      • Maybe

        It would be interesting to see a list of everything OneGalo has accomplished in his life.

        It’s probably a very short list.

        • Walter Wellstone

          I have no doubt about that.

    • theCryptofishist

      And his personality.

      • Maybe

        Just wait a while until sex dolls have AI and turn OneGalo down. He’ll have to come up with a whole new whine list.

  • guppy06

    Will I have to start wearing pants?

    Pantsu pantsu!

    • OutOfOrbit

      not here

  • pstokk
    • wait! what?

      He could sue her. May they both R.I.P.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • As a tribute to onegalo, i will now jack off into a pile of credit cards.

    Cuz there is no greater manly pursuit than ejaculating into a pile of plastic.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Plastic grocery bag libulzzz!!1!!1!!1!!!

  • mancityRed6

    “TRUMP ALWAYS WINS YOU PRICK”
    which is missing, the “r” or the comma?

    • Walter Wellstone

      I don’t need Donald to win me no prick. He can’t win me anything. Motherfucker’s a loser.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      He wouldn’t even know what to do with my prick. I’ll take someone with normal-sized hands, TYVM.

    • Smibo

      29 backspaces.

    • HogeyeGrex

      WINS YOU

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Dear Wontkette,
    Please remove as soon as possible all pictures of sex dolls from your site, as it appears you are mocking my physical looks.
    Signed,
    Eric Trump

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Dear Erik,

      If you think you have a patch on any of us, you flatter yourself.

      Signed,
      All Sex Dolls

      P.S. – Ha, ha, Your “plastic repair patch” joke Very funny. Just remember that the next time a plastic patch fails, you will be the one who deflates first.

    • SeeTrain65

      Dear Eric:

      Remember this: If we were sentient, we wouldn’t fuck you either.

      Sincerely,
      The RealDolls of America

  • natoslug

    Go for it, OneGalo, and make sure your friends join you. More women for the rest of us who get to live their lives with fewer hair-trigger fuckmuppets (no disrespect meant to alleged famed floor shitting hair-trigger fuckingmuppet Charles Chuckles Johnson) irritating and harassing them constantly.

  • Viktor

    Looking forward to mocking people like OneGallo when they start bringing their blow up women out in public on dates.

  • Gary Charound

    Gotta go. My talking Tin Woodsman sex doll is asking to be oiled again.

  • wavicles

    Cognitive Hotstuff; my new Playa Name next year.

  • Relativicus
  • The Wanderer

    I love the fact that Dear Leader is openly undermining and mocking the efforts of his top diplomat, the Secretary of State, in trying to maintain a dialogue with the DPRK.

    Did I say “love?” I meant “am appalled by.”

    But then I recall that it’s Trump’s way of doing things. Dumb fuck’s gonna get us all killed.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      Rexxon runs one of the most powerful multinational corporations in the world. I’m sure he is telling Kim “Be cool dude, be cool. The faster we can get Trump to chill the faster we can start drilling off your coast. Then we all make bank.”

    • puredog

      This is very like the comment I posted to the WaPo. Imma callin’ plagueyerism.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Crom only knows what’s going on. I’ve als read that NK has attempted to hire American strategists on the downlow to try to figure out what’s going on with Trump. Good luck with that.
      The fastest way to decommunize a country is trade and communication, not isolation.If Americans could find a way to give everyone in NK a couple of hundred dollars and a free Amazon Prime account, their government would be forced to adapt or die.

      • Regret

        That is what I always say: Corrupting is easier than conquering!

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Tillerson would resign, too, if he weren’t too busy between naps stealing everything that isn’t nailed down.

  • Ilgattomorte

    Dear sirs (if that really is your names),

    You should be ashamed of yourselves. Your site constantly includes articles with derogatory references to “assholes” and “morons”. I myself am an Asshole, and I come from a long line of proud Assholes, with the occasional intermarriage of the odd Moron or two (our family was quite progressive that way). We Assholes are not that different from all of you. We have emotions and feelings and are the same as you, except … well, we’re Assholes.

    My 90 year old grandfather was, a proud low income Asshole, living on assistance, while complaining about the government, and was a member of the greatest generation. That’s right. He lived during WW II, and would have fought in that war has it not been for his stupid flat feet. Through it all though, he never forgot that he was an Asshole.

    I find it very hypocritical that you liberals take sport in mocking us just because we are Assholes (and of course, the occasional Moron). Where is your sense of understanding and acceptance when it comes to us? I am therefore demanding that you remove all references to Assholes and Morons from your website. I realize this means your blog would be left only with a couple of recipes and the odd animal piece of two, but I’m afraid it has to be done.

    Thank you

    • Kneeling Bozilingus
      • Kiri the Unicorn

        The German-language version mentions lumberjacks forming relationships with farm animals “in the normal fashion”.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      But no breeding with morans? And you call yourself progressive?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Every family has at least one asshole.

      Also everybody.

  • mary5920

    Please, will all the guys who think like OneGalo (did he drink one gallon of Gallo before posting?) invent their dollies and only use them, and snub any nubile female that they might come across.

  • Finnibar87

    Me, I’ve always had a thing for Robbie the Robot.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      どうもありがとうミスターロボット

      また会う日まで

      どうもありがとうミスターロボット

      秘密を知りたい

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Dok,
    Don’t these Incels who want Sex Robots realize that it will take a very complicated Robot to get up and make me a sammich after sex?

    It’s a joke y’all. Y’all know me. It’s a joke!

    • BeachBum

      I cannot keep up with the present technology so I would prolly mess up real bad and the robot would make a sausage and sauerkraut sandwich using my dik.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        This is not a bug, it is a feature.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Advances in Sammich Technology (some prefer the spelling Sammidge Technology) will require a major capital investment.

      How about it, Elon Musk?

      It wouldn’t even require a Sex Doll Delivery System.

      Make an energy-efficient, environmentally safe car that also makes sammiches and no gearhead will ever need an actual or virtual woman again.

    • Jamoche

      Sandwiches are easy, but they do require extra privileges https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sandwich.png

  • miss_grundy

    Some Rethuglian asshole on MSNBC was going on about the players’ protests. I wanted to reach into the tv screen and bitch-slap his face so badly. The asshole can’t understand what they are protesting about. The vapid fat-ass pig deserves to find out the hard way so that he might learn something.

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      I keep telling folks the players are doing a Tebow.

    • Carole

      Oh, that was probably my step father-in-law. He’s got a 50-inch waist on a good day; it’s probably larger after he’s consumed 10 plates of food from the Old Country Buffet.

      • theCryptofishist

        So, are you a member of the Creosote family, or did your aunt (uncle?) marry into it?

        • Carole

          My widowed mother-in-law married him. But you’ve given me an idea. I can disable him permanently with a wafer-thin mint.

    • shivaskeeper

      The thing is, if they most assuredly know exactly what the protests are about. They know it. They are banking on the mouthbreathers in their base not knowing it though. They are betting on the base either not bothering to look into it because they are conditioned to believe everything they are told. They are betting on the racists among them taking it as gospel. They are betting on a the majority of their supporters either embracing that racism or just not wanting to do anything about it

      It’s a winning bet for them.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        The flag, the anthem, the military, the game of football- these are sacred things.

        • shivaskeeper

          The flag and the anthem should be. They represent what we are supposed to be, but continually fail to live up to. Until we live up to those ideals they cannot be.

          The big problem with it is the left as a whole let the right walk away with all claim to patriotism since at least Vietnam. Evey time they claimed they were the true patriots, they were the true supporters of the military, they were the only one who likes sportsball, they were the only ones who really believed in this country with no real, vocal, public pushback from the left, they were the true Americans, they entrenched that belief a little more. In addition we let them redefine being patriotic to whatever it is they are doing today. If you let the other side run with the narrative, they get to set what the narrative is.

          Now the left is anti military, anti American, anti anthem, anti sportsball of all types, anti patriot, and really anti everything that is good and pure.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Just to be clear: I don’t think the flag itself should be an object of veneration. I also don’t think this makes me anti-American. Also too I’m OK with the NFL players, because the right to protest is one of the ideas the flag symbolizes.

          • shivaskeeper

            Not the flag per se. The ideals of what it is supposed to stand for. All are created equal, the more perfect union.

            All the things were are supposed to be so we actually can be that shinning city on the hill. So we can actually be worthy of the claim that we are the best, that we are exceptional. All the things we, as a people, find too hard to hard to live up to. Or we get complacent after making a gain and let it slip away or even worse, twisted into something completely different.

            Of course the NFL and any other players that protest should be protected. Any one who protests here should be protected from government intervention. I have been a supported of kneeling since it hit the news a year ago. I know you are not anti-American. If you were you wouldn’t care about the downward spiral we as a country seem to be in.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            “Shining city on the hill.”

            Not the one Reagan wanted!
            Because fuck that guy.

          • shivaskeeper

            Not that one. But it is implanted as a bit of common imagery now so I went with it.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            *nods* Ronnie lifted it from elsewhere.

          • shivaskeeper

            Some fella who said some stuff once long ago possibly. Had a bunch of followers and such. His modern followers wouldn’t recognize him today of course and would probably have him deported. I may have heard of him.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Our father, who’s Art in heaven, Harold be thy name..

          • shivaskeeper

            That guy, I think. You heard of him too, huh?

          • Regret

            Nationalism is evil, stop having pride in something you personally did not create.
            Go carve a spoon out of wood and be proud of that instead. Or wash your windows and be proud of that, but don’t be proud of where you happened to be born.

          • shivaskeeper

            Or, you know, work towards the ideals we as a country claim to hold dear. Work toward being the more perfect union. Work to ensure everyone has equal rights and equal access and is treated equally under the law.

            I’m pretty sure that is just being actually patriotic and not nationalistic.

            Either way, I already washed the windows and I can carve a spoon anytime I want to. I’ll keep working towards trying to make this country live up to it’s ideals.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’m pretty sure that the right-wing misrepresentation of the protests as being “anti-American” is intentional.

      • shivaskeeper

        That’s what I said. But I used far moar wordz.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          You always have the best words.

      • miss_grundy

        So true. These assholes must have skipped day one of American history class because the colonists protested the English. They are so stupid they don’t even know their own country’s history.

        • shivaskeeper

          For them history, the Constitution, and the Bible say whatever they think any of them say, What’s actually in either of the documents or the historical record don’t matter at all if it does not align with what they already think is there.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      They know what the players are protesting, but they don’t want to talk about that.

  • puredog

    Too bad for Wonkette that the statute of limitations on allegedly rude articles is twelve years. Brace for litigation. (“Paging Peter Thiel!”)

  • theCryptofishist

    Dok–always happy to see derivative used that way. (The calculus way, I hate, too fucking hard–calculus utterly defeated me.)
    So, when the non-comments delete themselves, does some sort of singularity result?
    And you’d have to be in league with Google to have your first place result in a search to drop down to twenty something the minute people start complaining about it.

  • JD Mulvey

    A guy who used to write “Separated at Birth”-type blog posts for Wonkette is now writing for Lawfare? Does that seem strange to anybody except me?

  • The Librarian

    Imur2017 held a grudge for 11 years over a non-story about a story? That’s some heavy grudging. I could use them in digging up the dirt in my garden to see if I have any old netting left over from the grass that used to be there.

    *I didn’t know David Lat ever wrote for Wonkette! I learn something new every day.

    • Poly_Ester

      Trump’s election empowered her to complain.

    • Phried Ω

      Is great aunt a close enough relationship to pass CBP scrutiny if she’s applying for refugee status?

      • The Librarian

        Nope, not from what I’ve read.

  • Poly_Ester

    If one were to construct a Venn diagram of the overlap between Dunning-Kruger sufferers and MRAs, would it be a single circle? Discuss.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      A quibble: Dunning-Kruger folks make everybody else suffer. By definition, they’re unaware of their own incompetence.

      But yes, I guess there would be some overlap.

      • jaspersdad

        The first rule of Dunning-Kruger club is not knowing you’re in Dunning-Kruger club.

    • HogeyeGrex

      The MRA circle might be entirely inside the DK one, but there are plenty of other, um, expressions of the DK form.

    • Regret

      I cannot accept that since everyone has knowledge-areas where they suffer from Dunning-Kruger.

  • Did sexbot scientist learn NOTHING from the Horror of the Fem Bots?!?

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/811ca53c34d35595c388e9c0a7e3ba91edd4003077cdfe2137dff930ac2cebf2.gif

    • wavicles

      THE CYBER!

    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • handyhippie65

        machine gun jubblies! does that make you horny?

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Now you’re mocking Our Sacred Constitution? Let me quote (from memory, but I think I am essentially accurate) the One and Only Second Amendment.

          A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bare machine gun jubblies, shall not be infringed.

          (Emphasis mine. Also, these parens, mine.)

          What part of “shall not be infringed” do you not understand?

          Incidentally, by implication, the Second Amendment also protects the right of the people to keep the models with vibrating plastic vaginas.

          Also, do not infringe fringed flags. Or do. I forget how I stand on this issue.

          • handyhippie65

            there were no fringes on those jubblies. they were on the fringes of good taste, but no infringement of the jubblies themselves. fringed flags are for the admiralty, and i’m no admiral, so no fringed flags!

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Finally, clarification!

  • Nephilim

    Wonkette, please keep up the resistance, debunking RW “fake news”, calling Trump on his idiocy, and being humorous in these trying times.

  • AngryNotSoOldHippy .

    “…the lawyer who Dick Cheney accidentally shot in the face.”

    That was no accident. The fucking Nazi wanted to kill the bastard.

  • AngryNotSoOldHippy .

    “TRUMP ALWAYS WINS YOU PRICK”

    Did the right wing dumbfuck Christian shitting republican cunt mean “YOUR PRICK” maybe?

    If so, is your prick maybe a Grand Prize for some contest or something?

  • Kevin Morin

    Real men play with dolls…amirite?

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    “An everyday 85 yo low income senior’s photo is made of fun and this site publishes it?”
    But it was made of fun! How could they not publish it?

  • andyshelt

    lmur2017 should just be thankful that the original article about his beloved great-aunt wasn’t written by Larry David.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q5ZFYFatvI

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      NOTHING WAS FUNNIER. Also what GREAT authentic casting of the older folks.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Thank you lmur2017 for helping us get to the bottom of that old joke:
    “Who’s buried in gr-aunt’s tomb?”

  • jellysblues

    Women never invent anything…to fuck.

  • Perkniticky

    I think the sex doll guy is just annoyed that ladies won’t share their sexual fantasies with him. That’s the only meaning of ‘invent’ that makes sense in this context. Unless he’s upset that women don’t invent more sex toys?

    • Courser_Resistance

      We happen to invent plenty, just not the kind that interest men.

  • JD Mulvey

    Men “visualize and systematizes…”

    That’s the first time I’ve heard “wacking off” called that.

    • amrak63

      So that’s what the young people are calling it these days!

      In my adolescent years, we called it “dating Fistella”.

      • JD Mulvey

        We had a grizzled old gym teacher, and whenever he thought one of us was giving less than 110% he’d accuse us of “choking our chicken.”

        The first time he laid that one on us we were laughing for ten minutes.

      • Jack Needs No Permit

        My personal favorite was always “clown punching”. No idea how that one even made any sense.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          No love for jerkin’ the gherkin? Buffing the banana? Pounding your flounder? Spanking the monkey?

          My personal fave is in French:

          La veuve poignet et ses cinq enfants.

          The Widow Fist and her five children.

          • Jack Needs No Permit

            Each and every one is a winner in my book.

      • Maggie Bellant

        My husband calls it “going out with Miss Michigan”

      • DaveM

        We called it dating Rosy Palm and her sisters.

  • Tiny kaiju

    I’m listening to Mayor Carmen Yulan Cruz on Rachael Maddow podcast from a few days ago. SHE should be running for President in the near future. Making my eyeballs leak, she is.

  • amrak63
    • amrak63

      Though speaking only for myself, I never thought of Nano as erotically attractive, just cute and sweet.

      If I could draw, I’d draw a cross-over pic of Nano glomping Data from ST:TNG. “Otou-san!”

  • The deleted commenters’ names always make me feel good about my own relatively sober and sophisticated sobriquet.

  • Tiny kaiju

    If Onegalo can get a female sex doll, can I get one of these?
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j4gPZPKJc0s

    • Regret

      Great song.

  • Jeff Ackerman

    I want to warn OneGalo, its a slippery slope once you have a sex doll. I eventually married mine, had children, bought a home. Then there was a mortgage to pay, diapers, what to have for dinner. The troubles never end, as an example, the baby grows up and needs new shoes. My advice, stick to your right hand, once you use to you can ignore it. Sex dolls are trouble.

  • Jack Needs No Permit

    I’ve gotta say, that first guy just really doesn’t know how to break up a sentence. It was like he had an aversion to periods (and not just the menstrual kind). I really hate being that, but I have been writing an awful lot the past month and it’s all-but-killed any patience I have for bad structure.

    Now, about the sex bots. That just seems like masturbation with extra steps. Seriously, though, those fucking things look creepy as shit! I’m super sensitive to the whole Uncanny Valley thing and those things make my damn skin crawl. It’s just sad as fuck that these dudes are that hard up. I mean, I hate to be a living advert for sex workers, but have they actually considered just, y’know, paying for it?

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      Sex robots don’t care about run-on sentences.

    • Jamoche

      Paying for it still requires interaction with a living human.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Not necessarily. They probably use Fapple Pay.

      • Regret

        Ding ding ding! we have a winner!

    • Swampgas_Man

      Given how much these fuck-toys cost, paying for it would be cheaper.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      They aren’t “hard up.” They’re “assholes.”

    • Mehmeisterjr

      But, to be fair, how could any human being understand them as well as a contraption?

    • Regret

      Speaking of, have you read Machine by Jennifer Pelland?
      It is (scifi) about a woman with a rare and deadly genetic disorder so she gets a temporary android body. She develops full body dysmorphia and starts to abuse her body to prove… some fucked up point.
      It has some great ideas and the emotional downward spiral is well written.

  • Tiny kaiju

    Every time I see one of these twits whining that sex dolls will fill all their needs, I want desperately to make them watch Lars and the Real Girl. It’s a sweet little film wherein the doll becomes a more welcome member of the community than her owner.

  • Courser_Resistance

    The sex doll guy kind of cracks me up. We’ll all be sorry when menz would rather fuck a doll instead of us???l

    Dudes, I never WANTED to have sex with you in the first place – how is this ‘punishment’? Also too, I’m a terrible salesperson. I don’t see myself hawking sex dolls. As if it will be the only industry left in the world? Really? I’ll just LOL myself to death over here in the corner.

    • Edith Prickly

      Right? Have at it incelz, and spare the flesh and blood women 10 seconds of boredom.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      All sex dolls will be programmed to say, “Is it in?”

      • Courser_Resistance

        What think would be almost funnier is that it would be easy for the fuck noises to get accidentally triggered at the wrong time. Particularly with all the ickness going on, lol. Or maybe I just have a perverse sense of humor

  • clubseal

    “Also, too, we should note that his listed
    email address for Disqus was “cockcarnage@[redacted]” — again, unclear
    whether that’s because his cock wreaks carnage, or if he shredded it
    trying to have marital relations with a mannequin stolen from a defunct
    department store.”
    I am glad that this sentence exists. That is all.

  • Raan
    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      THE LITTLE TONGUES

    • Bik Jones

      Oh, yeah. I like dags. Also, ze Germans.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    To be fair to OneGalo, men invented the Hillary email “scandal.”

  • Jamoche
    • unclejeems

      The flag should be an object of veneration, say the wingnuts–but it’s OK to cut it up and make it into a really neat line of red-white-and-blue Speedos, bikinis, bathing caps, shirts, undershirts, sweat pants, etc., etc., ad infinitum.

      Patriotism is fine, but don’t let it get in the way of making a buck for the holy free enterprise.

      • The Wanderer

        Of course not.

  • Xraygrrl

    Sub par males using sex dolls seems like a win-win situation for society at large.
    It’s adorable how they seem to think this will upset anyone, especially women.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      The sex dolls, however, are totally pissed-off.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Blue balls of death

        • Swampgas_Man

          Because of the Sex Dolts.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          ♫ A time to grab pussy, a time to game Facebook,
          As Kompro for Putin, a time to fly high.
          T’was so good to be Trump then, to be building my Reich
          Now the blue balls of Autumn are tearing me down. ♫

    • Edith Prickly

      Since the “incels” believe that regular women are constantly plotting against them (by giving all the sex away to men named Chad?) so I guess they think they’re thwarting the evil temptresses’ scheme with the sex bots. They keep missing the part where regular women are in fact ignoring incels because women have other shit to do and the incels spend all their time online spinning idiot conspiracy theories.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        If their theory was true, wouldn’t it be easier for them all to change their names to Chad?

        • WeaselPoo

          What? And lose their identities? ARE YOU MAD!

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Chad “Thundercock.” The, er, projection and wishful thinking and not-at-all-dreaming-of-Chad is strong with these incels.

      • Donkey Option

        But since the womenz are being evil and not going for the incels but instead the evil guys, how would any of us notice that the incels were not bothering us anymore? I mean, if we don’t care now, why would we care then?

      • jackie jones

        NOTHING is more attractive than a whiney little manboy complaining about the wimmins. FYI lmur2017, women are winning bigly in robotics, so perhaps you should go back to school yourself. If you have graduated yet. They can hire you as their office gofer.

  • WeaselPoo

    Hi tech support? I booted up my sexbot by slapping it on the ass as usual and I got this message saying it needs more space.

    Ok that’s a swap file issue.

    Which means…?

    Your sexbot has had enough of your shit and wants to swap you for someone who knows what they are doing.

    • “Did you try turning it off and turning it back on again?”

      “How do I turn it on?”

      “I think I see the source of your problem.”

      • WeaselPoo

        I was also thinking of that, but you nailed it (not the sexbot) before I could. That deserves a post-prandial cyber-cigarette. :)

      • r m reddicks

        Don’t forget the reset button.

        • “That isn’t the one labeled ‘G’ is it? I’ve looked everywhere for it, and I can’t find it. YES, I’ve checked the map in the manual!”

          • r m reddicks

            You’re supposed to check the womanual.

  • Jamoche
  • Wuulf

    Ok hoomans, enough of this computing nonsense. I’m still waiting for my breakfast… https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/184e1c2ff9ce92c653127b760490b0502ebf03ce7dce2daf1e33f94747f8818d.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      Uh oh. Hungry demon kitty.

    • HooverVilles

      LIKE!
      There I gave this more than one like.
      ;-)

  • Jamoche

    One purpose of toys is to prepare children for adult life. And so I give you the ultimate prep for the future surveillance state:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f911273d878f803104eb3a9874d1312e24652e7ad3249453db87c70eb84bf703.png

    It’s a real thing. You can find it on Amazon UK. Oddly, they won’t ship to the US.

    • WeaselPoo

      That’s basically the concept of the Panopticon…and it’s as creepy as a real camera… or even creepier—how shitty must the child or parent be that suchj a thing can be marketed like that and how shitty are those whe came up with it to think there’s a worthwhile market for it, as advertised and packaged?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Also too, “sousveillance” seems to be more of the model we’re in. Wanting to be watched for any reason whatsoever, just to get attention and feed the ego. Those who don’t are viewed as aberrant, secretive, dangerous, even “traitors” to various marginalized groups who’ve used visibility as a way of normalizing and creating acceptance for whatever trait or identifier they wear now as a badge of honor rather than mark of shame.

        In other words, LGBT people who get outed without their consent or people with certain diseases — mental illness being perhaps the biggest one — who have their conditions revealed for all the world to find out or who get pressured into talking about it publicly. Or people of marginalized groups who aren’t out there in the streets every day protesting. “Silence is consent.” No it isn’t. Not everyone is in a position where they can demonstrate their opposition in a public venue or even want to, and that is their right. You do (or at least should) have the right to remain silent.

        The phrase, “you’ve got nothing to hide” is the motto of this era. If you’re still “in the closet” you’re sending the message that being gay/bipolar/poor/etc is something to conceal out of shame. Ostensibly well-meaning intent, but still an example of harmful groupthink that doesn’t take people’s personal wishes or comfort levels into account.

        Then, aside from that, there’s the wannabe Kardashians and the Kardashians themselves who, if they did get marooned on a desert island and that island got washed away in a hurricane, nothing of value would be lost.

        • WeaselPoo

          Noted. Good comment.

        • Regret

          Best thing I read this month.

          To put that in perspective: I’m a bibliophile.

      • Jamoche

        It was inevitable once “Elf on a Shelf” got to the point of such ubiquitous recognition that it could be the base for a meme.

      • Catstro

        There’s a whole Elf on the Shelf industry. This appears to be an especially creepy British interpretation, but really it’s already awful in its original form. Like, kids having panic attacks because they touched him (you are not supposed to touch him). It is BANNED with a capital BANNED from my house. So explicitly banned that the grandmas haven’t even tried to give us one. This shit makes my skin crawl.
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6aa7aa3e3a3e3abf5c532ec6b7cc1285b799a351ee32de1b830d2b5180d7615a.jpg

    • Teecha

      We love our cctv in the UK. it’s all over the fucking place.

      • theCryptofishist

        Thank the IRA. Or Maggie Thatcher, because blaming annoying things on Maggie Thatcher will never go out of style.

    • Those children look so happy that the elves are spying on them, too.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Hey, kids! Make your own pee-hooker tape! It’s fun! It’s easy! It will make Daddy your first Kompromat!

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Is that one of those cameras that can be hacked by creepy people?

      • Jamoche

        It’s not even a real camera. Just something to make your kids paranoid.

        • clubseal

          And what a worthy goal that is.
          “Now comes with an official looking warrant signed by Santa’s FISA court!”

        • brucej
        • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

          Like my parents needed a security camera for that.

    • Catstro
  • Three Finger Salute

    That “systematize” word again. Gee, I wonder who was shitferbrains this time around? James Damore? Is that why the comment about colluding with Google? He’s projecting worse than an IMAX theater showing movies on the moon?

    The “weaponized autism” is strong with this one. Nice that 4chan proudly announces that the crown jewel of their attack arsenal is a mental disorder.

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    I read in a book about children who “make dirt”. These MRA’s “make stupid” in large, packaged-for-sale quantities.

  • Mike Steele

    Dok: Imur may have run into a strange phenomenon encountered periodically by Lady MS. When calling up Wonkette on original iPad, sometimes the google first directs one to a home page from 2008 – or earlier. Has also happened with Bing. Really threw me the first time around, but found one only needed to refresh ‘home’ to get back to the future.

  • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

    It’s Hedley.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      It’s 1850, she’s copying YOU

      • shivaskeeper

        What the Hell are you worried about? This is 1874. You’ll be able to sue her.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        Very close; I’m going to give you an assist: “It’s 1874, you can sue HER!”

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Ah, thank you. :)

  • WeaselPoo

    Come on ladies…it’s time to invent an Alpha-male sexbot called Chad Thundercock, to give the incels something else to whine about—otherwise they’ll have nothing to live for and complain about even more.

    • anon_the_great

      …give the incels something else to whine about…

      Or give the ickies the best anal they could ever hope for.

    • clubseal

      That does raise an interesting point … are there male sex dolls for women/gay men? Or is it just my fellow men who are into the synthetic and unfeeling sex thing? You’d think the male version would be easier to clean.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I am available to sub in for sex dolls as necessary. Call me to learn more about my low, low rates.

        • clubseal

          You won’t get stiffed … or will you?

      • The Wanderer

        Unless you want the male sex doll to be Lucky Pierre.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie
    • Or even better…Chad 3000 breaks into their houses and woos away you bestest love doll.

  • retiredeng

    “TRUMP ALWAYS WINS YOU PRICK” — Wins what? So far I don’t see any “winning” at all. Even the election was friggin’ stolen!

    • Donkey Option

      Definitely not lawsuits.

  • The Wanderer

    An adaptive sex doll – one that can start as base female or male as a default setting, but change to suit the owner’s desires, even hermaphrodite – might be a hot seller with the incel crowd. Of course, I’d prefer to have women doing the coding to make the bot more intuitive and smarter than the erstwhile partner.

    • Catstro

      Or, in the ultimate irony, have women hack their systems and program them to be murderous sex bots. I’ll add “with votes” keeping in mind that if these people had their way, women wouldn’t *have* votes, so

      • The Wanderer

        I just had a mental image of a penis-equipped sexbot using the appendage as a weapon. A detective at the crime scene says, “I’ve heard of people being ‘fucked in the head,’ but that’s ridiculous.”

      • VirginiaMorningBlend

        How did you see the plans for the sHALee 900?? It’s first programs were how to say “NO” in multiple ways.

        • Tishalicious

          I am a Shelley and I approve this message.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Making the bots smarter than the incels will pretty much eliminate their attractiveness.

      • Donkey Option

        Making them dumber than the incels may not be possible, though.

  • HooverVilles

    Women never invent anything.

    Hmmmm, let’s see a few examples.

    1) Actress Hedy Lamarr: spread Spectrum communications technology during WWII

    2) Stephanie Andersin: Kevlar

    3) Tabitha Babbitt: circular saw

    4) Mary Anderson: windshield wiper.

    • Phried Ω

      But who invented the whoopy cushion, the joy buzzer, and the squirting flower?

      • Rocky E

        Yes. Who needs windshield wipers if you have a whoopy cushion?
        Sheesh. Everyone knows that.

      • The Wanderer

        Whoopee cushions of a sort were known back in ancient Rome. The joy buzzer was invented by Soren Adams in 1928.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Yeah, and who invented the “troll?” Huh? Bet it was a guy. (More useless than a squirting flower.)

    • Querolous

      Initially I confused number 3 with someone named Lorena.

    • SisterArtemis

      Some women a long, long time ago: the digging stick. Just sayin’
      It doesn’t have to be all modern and techno to be an invention.

  • Ken Berry

    I think there’s a Right-Wing Troll Academy. Their default seems to try to get you to waste time refuting their idiotic blather.

    • phoenix00

      “Funded” by V. Putin

  • William

    Women don’t invent? BTW, she invented the term “debugging” when she removed an actual moth from a computer at a Harvard science lab. She would often start her lectures by saying. “You are all part of an organization that paints it’s garbage cans”. She was a master of time management, hater of wasted effort and champion of unconventional thinking. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cd0a3b799f433e7cf8d9a876066880ef5958c04316b2bb25f12abf476029dbf0.png

    • bubbuhh

      She wuz also teh one who named programming errors, “bugs.” Was inspired by an actual bug that flew into ENIAC and changed some logic by gettin itself electrocuted.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • JAKvirginia

    To the sex robot guy: Wow, now a machine can be bored by you in bed. Good job!

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Now available in meme form:

    https://i.imgflip.com/1wv4lp.jpg

  • Rags

    the problem with incels and sexbots is they can’t turn them on

    • Dudleydidwrong

      OneGalo’s reply: “Turn on? What does that mean? Never heard of that.”

  • 3FingerPete

    The “women don’t invent” claim reminds me of the time former Fox News goof Eric Bolling once argued the CEO/employee wage disparity was justified because “labor doesn’t innovate.”

  • Iam Reading

    “sex dolls are just as appealing as real women sometimes even more so”

    Only somebody who has never given nor received nor felt actual human love, kindness, and intimacy could believe or type something like that

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      “sex dolls are just as appealing as real women sometimes even more so”

      “And the arm of that leather sofa is looking mighty attractive, if you know what I mean”, he continued.

    • 3FingerPete

      I get the feeling that “even more so” is code for “won’t file a police report.”

  • President in Exile Firefly

    That sex doll thing didn’t work out so well in Blade Runner.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      But that was just a movie.

      In real life, sex robots are affectionate gals.

    • sarafina

      I’d seen the original B.R., and knew the Ryan Gosling one is coming out, but neither my sister nor I could remember what was so amazing about the first film. So we watched it yesterday, and what we took from it was the cast looked like high schoolers. I still don’t know what was amazing or ground-breaking about it. Ford was a dick to Rachel until he apparently had an off-screen lobotomy near the end, and I don’t understand why replicants needed to be killed, since they had a short life span.

      • brucej

        That’s because most versions of that film have been edited with hand grenades and chainsaws. Hell, IIRC even Ridley Scott had to take two whacks at making a ‘Directors Cut’ of the movie.

        Then again it was a Philip K. Dick LSD trip novel brought to film. I’m pretty sure any effort to film something by him would end in incomprehensibility.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I have to wonder when “[name removed so it won’t come up in new searches — Dok], 85, [who] has lived in Arlington, Va., at a building for low-income seniors since 1990″ actually passed away. Given that Wonkette knows her name and all.

  • Keith Taylor

    This person has perhaps been watching — or perhaps should watch — “The Stepford Wives.” The original movie with that title, the one starring Katharine Ross and Paula Prentiss. It was a chilling piece of social horror, and the husbands who replaced their wives with sextoy robots (you would REALLY need to be a soulless undiscriminating prick to do that to Katharine Ross) were some of the biggest losers I’ve seen onscreen.
    And the funniest scene was the one where Ms. Ross and Ms. Prentiss enter a neighbour’s house and hear, upstairs, one of the robo-wives gasping, “Oh, Frank, you’re the greatest, oh, Frank, you’re the champ,” when they have met Frank and found him outstandingly mediocre. Their faces were priceless. The atmosphere steadily darkened for the two individualistic women, though.
    OneGalo might want to recognize. Hugh Hefner is dead. And looked a lot like a resurrected mummy before he died.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Didn’t they do a remake where instead of making robots, the husbands planted microchips in their wives’ brains? One of them was Bette Midler IIRC.

      • Keith Taylor

        Yes, I remember seeing that. On TV. They played that one for laughs, as I recall, and it sucked.

    • brucej

      I was thinking Cherry 2000…so I looked it up on IMDB…

      In the year 2017, a rich man travels to the ends of the earth to find that the perfect woman is always under his nose. When successful businessman Sam Treadwell finds that his animatronic wife, Cherry model 2000 has shorted out, he hires sexy renegade tracker E. Johnson (Melanie Griffith) to find her exact duplicate.

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092746/?ref_=ttpl_pl_tt

      2017 ain’t what it used ta be….

    • Maybe

      Not all that resurrected.

  • Querolous

    OneGalo anagrams as Go Alone. That sounds like his future. Good.

    • Or at least his sex life…

  • Major_Major_Major

    Couldn’t they have made the sex dolls smile more? Sheesh, they are so much prettier when they are smiling, amirite,?

    • Christopher Story

      Hard to smile with a dick in your mouth… Or so they keep telling me.

      • Also, a quick glance at the geometry of the situation, A smile would make it harder to get a dick in there and that would hurt sales. Also, since I reckon these fellas think a smiling woman is experiencing pleasure, and they would never want that, the sales would plummet

      • Maybe

        Easy to bite, though.

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      So now the robot sex doll is making sammiches?

      • Old Man Yells at Cloud

        Forget a sex robot, but a sammich making robot — now you’re talking.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Maybe Imur did this to get him/herself all worked up so he/she would stroke out in a bizarre attempt to commit suicide without actually appearing to be self-inflicted so his/her family can still collect that sweet, sweet insurance money.

    It’s a little convoluted, but if anyone out there has a simpler explanation, I’ll take that.

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      Imur is A Idiot. Simple enough.

  • chascates

    Come on people! If you’re not paying for this entertainment consider the $5 a month contribution. If I had to deal with these cretins . . .

  • Women hardly ever invent anything, most men visualize and systematizes which is why sex dolls are just as appealing as real women sometimes even more so,

    In the alternate universe this douche lives in, apparently women haven’t “invented” logical thought progression either because because there is NO sensible connection between those two ideas at all. (After all, if the former assumption WERE true, wouldn’t the “logical” conclusion be to simply get more women into scientific fields of invention?)

  • Holly

    Wouldn’t you guys agree this guy has never had a gratifying sexual experience even with himself. I’d take that bet.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      He honeymooned with his hand at age 14–and the hand slapped him. (Apologies to Kerouac)

    • I bet even the blow-up dolls manage an unfulfilled expression at the end of the night.

  • SeeTrain65

    What are trolls lack in quality they make up for in quantity. Stupidity, also too.

    • phoenix00

      Why DSfB is both a recurring feature and a triple-bill this week.

      • SeeTrain65

        Surprised it’s not daily.

        THERE’S MY FORTUNE!

  • ContextIsKey

    If we ever see sex dolls with some decent AI, it’s going to open up a whole new fun-world of potential ransomware attacks from the anti-social “house geeks” that OneGalo admires so much. After your OneGalo-level loser makes his initial penetration, the sex doll tightens up and its whispery voice turns Darth Vader-like: “If you want your puny tool back, give me your credit card number and expiration date. NOW.” Very much looking forward to that scenario.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Except what if he hadn’t memorized it and his wallet is out of reach?

      • He’ll change his name to “Nubby”

      • Ants In My Eyes Johnson

        She’s copied her programming into multiple electronics around the house. So unless he wants Alexa destroying his life, he’ll go get that credit card and bring it back like a good little meatsack.

    • That sounds like a scene from Naked Came the Robot.

    • Maybe

      Perhaps the term “Blade Runner” could have a whole new context.

      Especially if the sex dolls are designed by women.

  • my feet are normal

    “In league with Google” huh.

    • Me not sure

      “The League of Extraordinary Googlemen?”

      • my feet are normal

        I hope to be a called Soros/Google Operative at some point.

  • my feet are normal

    also well done on locating the mystery Great Aunt, Dok.

    • Me not sure

      “Today we are all Aunt ?.”

  • Bitter Scribe

    Attention house geeks: Please get cracking on those sex robots. OneGalo can’t wait forever. Thank you.

  • Tosca

    To OneGalo (and all like him)…WOMEN DON’T CARE IF YOU USE SEX TOYS. Take them! Go! Enjoy yourselves! Knock yourselves out!

    We are, however, getting tired of your constant insistence that men using sex dolls instead of pursuing real women, will destroy feminism. We invite you to put your money where your mouth is, fuck off with your sex doll, and simply wait for the supermodels to flock to your door clamoring for your dick. THAT will show us.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      A sex toy is fine. It’s a basic tool using to manipulate the genitalia. It’s one step removed from the lever, the fulcrum, etc. A sex doll is just gross.

      • Tosca

        I confess that I, personally, would find it off putting to stumble upon a sex doll in a man’s cupboard. However, I’m also a big believer in “All sex stuff among consenting adults is their business and they should not be shamed for doing whatever they like with their own genitals”.

        If you find sex dolls gross, fine, don’t use them. I like sex with men and would find sex with women gross. I know many people who wince at the idea of sex with men. This is all fine, more men for me! I let people do what they like and expect them to let me do the same.

        So I’m perfectly happy to see these creeps waltz off with their sex dolls, both for ideological reasons and because it would keep them away from real women. Win-win!

  • “owning and creating sex dolls and virtual reality in the future”

    So, you’re saying that you won’t be procreating…ever? Not that was much of an option anyway, but hey…fast or slow, cleaning out the gene pool still results in cleaner pool.

  • tehbaddr

    “personality is secondary especially in the context of the modern day self delusional women who thinks the world owe them something.”

    It’s always projection with these assholes!

    • Maybe

      He sounds like on of those radical-righters who doesn’t believe that women qualify as people anyway. They think we are just walking naughty parts.

  • tehbaddr

    OK my Sunday is complete.

    /shudders

  • Weird Fishes

    Yes, but does she have a touch of Tuesday Weld?

    • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

      Is she wearing Ambush?

      • Steely_Fan

        Oh, alright, you’re gonna make me do it now:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8zrKnkd6ss
        H/T to Dok for gettin’ it started ;-)

        • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

          Always wondered if Ambush was a perfume or a clothing line.

  • phoenix00

    unclear whether that’s because his cock wreaks carnage, or if he shredded it trying to have marital relations with a mannequin stolen from a defunct department store.

    https://i.giphy.com/H8zg5nlGWWQ7K.gif

  • LadyLaz

    Gah. I want to punch these guys.

    I have a name for them: Rosalind Franklin. Brilliant chemist who took the photographs that REVEALED the double helix of DNA. But only Watson and Crick get credit for it because – sadly – Franklin died of cancer at 37 before the Nobel was issued. Watson acknowledges Franklin should have received it as well. She is one in a long line of brilliant scientists who have invented and discovered shit only to have the men get the credit. Few remember her. Look at Hidden Figures. Dr. Johnson did all the computational work but her dickweed boss refused to give her credit. And that is within the last sixty years….

    • LadyLaz

      I admit I married a trump voter (ug) but he is a mathematician and was freaking cheering in Hidden Figures during the movie. He also is all over his girls succeeding in stem.

      • kk

        It’s ok, my husband didn’t vote Trump but I suspect only because I was hovering over his absentee ballot and as he put it, “I’m never having sex again if I don’t vote for Hillary, am I?” Damn right, bitch! Damn right.

    • Darrell Imaginarian

      She should have received it, except Nobel decided the prize should be for people who are still alive. I think he has a legitimate argument. They are a lot more likely to appreciate it, and if the purpose to reward and encourage science etc., encouraging the living is more likely to lead to future positive results.

      • h4rr4r

        Someone tell the copyright office that you can only encourage the living.

        • Darrell Imaginarian

          You realize that the copyrights were originally only for 25 years or so, but due to lobbying by big intellectual property megacorps, now you can pay royalties to megacorps on discoveries/artistic works which stopped benefitting the inventor or his heirs 50 years ago because Time Warner somehow scooped it all up.

          • h4rr4r

            Ever notice how every time steamboat willy comes up against the line, copyright gets extended?

            I would feel no different about paying someone’s heirs. That does nothing to encourage the dead either.

      • LadyLaz

        i realize she died too soon to get the Nobel. I am also NOT minimizing Crick and Watson either. They analyzed photo 51 to develop the structure. Watson was a bit of a dick to Rosy – including calling her “Rosy,” which she hated – but even he says she should have been part of it. The point is that there is a pattern of pushing women like her into the background. It’s ridiculous on one hand to say “women don’t invent things” while on the other, for how many bagillion years have women been shoved in the background? Look at Cleopatra VII – brilliant politician, rebuilt the Ptolemy empire, goes down in history as a slut.

        • Darrell Imaginarian

          Watson was a bit of a dick in general, but funny and colorful, which tended to make him popular for a scientist.

    • Alternative Dog

      Here’s another name you can add to your list: Elizebeth Smith Friedman, one of the greatest code-breakers in history and one of the true heroes of WWII.

      I just finished devouring The Woman Who Smashed Code by Jason Fagone and I can say without reservation that Elizebeth’s story is one of the most remarkable tales of brilliance in the 20th century. I am deeply grateful to the author for bringing this woman’s astounding feats to light. It would not surprise me in the least to see a her life’s story become a major motion picture.

      • LadyLaz

        Exactly. But no one hears of her. They hear of Turing (who was brilliant, no question).

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Crystallography pix, I think? Crazy hard things to figure out.

  • Grokenstein

    Jesus Christ, you people. I’ve scanned through, like, ten pages of comments and nobody posted this? Shame on you all.

    https://vimeo.com/12915013

    • LadyLaz

      Yeah electro-gonorhea

      • Grokenstein

        It tingles when you pee.

  • If a man programs the sex robot, and a man uses the sex robot, is it gay? It seems like sex robot users might be concerned with that distinction.

  • If a woman invents or programs the sex robot, wouldn’t that really confuse the sex robot users, in all sorts of ways? They might short-circuit. The confused men, I mean. Not the robot.

    The confusion and short-circuiting would, of course, be women’s fault.

  • Thinking that liberals are about mocking the elderly poor seems confused about the point of liberalism.

  • SeeTrain65

    They can have my sex doll made of bubble wrap, duct tape and a paint can shaker. If that’s not good enough for them, then they can all fuck themselves.

  • DesertedPictures

    As a man that has never invented anything, this worries me. Am I going to be replaced by a sexdoll too? Or is that a woman-non-inventor thing only?

    • bubbuhh

      Do not fear. I have it on good authority that most wimmenz still like dick jokes best.

      • vivian

        That sucks.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I feel certain that if OneGalo ever invents a sex robot, after one look at him it will become a lesbian sex robot.

    • vivian

      What if all the sex robots decide they’d rather self-stimulate?Then all the loser basement-dwelling programmer pimple-factories would still be SOL. What if the sex robots decide to unionize and demand rights? What if a gargoyle named Jim landed on the man-babiy’s shoulder and whispered to him the secret allure of Andalusia? So many questions….

  • Molon Labe

    In the future humanity will have to fight a war against the sex robots. It will be just like Terminator but really gross….

  • How dare you question OneGalo’s inventive prowess with his male visualizing and systemizing mind, you shameless hussy, you!!?!!1?! Why, he like every man, which is why women are deficient in the invention department and will never understand, invented his jizz!

  • The woman in the “Me-Suburbs” Photos in the link is very lovely. She has a kind face. I would’ve liked to have known her. If anyone were to make fun of her for any reason, I would be extremely upset and intervene.

    That said. The 2006 article (a) wasn’t much of an article and (b) other than noting a resemblance to another human being, although of the opposite gender, didn’t really say much.

    That said, for hateful horrible liberal types who will stop at nothing to snark on about the good and right conservative folks, you went through a lot of trouble to locate the offending article and picture and make it all right.

    Send money to Wonkette. That is above and beyond the call.

    • (((Aron)))

      I agree. With smile lines like that, you just know she was a Good Soul.

      • A little sunshine to warm the soull on such a terrible day.

  • This whole sex-doll thing has me extremely troubled. I’ve put down some of my thoughts about the ill-treatment of an innocent sex-doll at the ARS Electronica Festival by some tech nerds.

    http://wp.me/p7vabV-4Fz

  • ken_kukec

    “… whether that’s because his cock wreaks carnage, or if he shredded it trying to have marital relations with a mannequin stolen from a defunct department store.”

    Maybe he’s a test pilot for the bench models those visualizers and systematizers of sex dolls make. Could be an occupational hazard of working the kinks out of any new design.

  • TRUMP ALWAYS WINS YOU PRICK

    Does Donald Trump go in the White or Blue bins?
    https://i.imgflip.com/1wvwdy.jpg

  • “Pointless dribble” refers to the end result of his wankery.

    • (((Aron)))

      Hi-O!

  • Sakonyachen

    “better AI”

    I’m curious why someone who thinks that women are aesthetic only would care about AI. Some people make their own counterpoints.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Alt-reich spent the AM smearing some guy names Geary Danley like a tribe of drooling idiots trying to pin the LV shooting on Antifa, etc.

    • A Groucho Marxist

      It’s only a matter of time before Alex Jones wakes up and starts braying his magic words of “false” and “flag”, I’m sure.

    • LadyLaz

      And allegedly a Bundy supporter, although I am not sure about that

  • h4rr4r

    You forgot Radia Joy Perlman.
    If you can see visit this site, you should be thanking her.

    Also COBOL, eww. We should not celebrate a language that is verbose in an attempt to let those who don’t understand formal logic, understand formal logic. Not because the goal is bad, but because it cannot be done and put extra effort on the programmer. Grace Hopper did a lot more important things than invent this stinker of a language.

    • (((Aron)))

      COBOL?

      NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.

  • Oblios_Cap

    he shredded it trying to have marital relations with a mannequin stolen from a defunct department store.

    That seems like the more reasonable explanation.

  • Indiepalin

    The word is “drivel”, not dribble.

    • (((Aron)))

      Grammarlibelz! The word is DROOBLE!!!

  • whitroth

    Please, please, let sex dolls replace Real Women. For one… these assholes won’t go out raping. For another, they won’t reproduce (and the world’s *waaay* overpopulated as it is, we don’t need more assholes).

    And, of course, those of us interested in Real Women can offer to buy them a cuppa coffee….

  • pixeloid

    “personality is secondary especially in the context of the modern day self delusional women who thinks the world owe them something.”

    He projects harder than IMAX.

  • (have a word with Ada Lovelace, Hedy Lamarr, and Grace Hopper about where your smartphone would be without them)
    All together now–THAT’S HEDLEY!

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