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Oh hey, everyone! It is your weekly top ten post! HOORAY! Anyway, we wrote a couple of times about the NYT’s Maggie Haberman this week, because she was being wrong, and she still hasn’t blocked us on Twitter. HOORAY AGAIN! But she probably will soon, because she blocks ERRBODY. So that is your update on whether or not Maggie Haberman has blocked Wonkette. Are you ready for your top ten countdown?

SUCKS FOR YOU, because we have to shake you down for money first. You see, it is the end of the month, which means we are a bit low, and we have no ads, therefore all our operating expenses and all our salaries are paid by YOU! Yes, you right there, and you really are looking nice today. Wonkette is taking on new writers and trying to give raises to the ones who work eleventy-three hours a week already to tell you amazing stories, and we want to be able to do this MORE AND MORE! So please please please sign up to do monthly donations, so we can grow and grow! Will you do that? They can be small monthly donations, medium monthly donations, or YOOGE monthly donations. It takes all kinds! We even take thousand dollar and million dollar donations, OR MONTHLY MILLION THOUSAND DOLLAR SUBSCRIPTIONS, like if you are a secret famous celebrity fan of Wonkette! Seriously, if you are able — DO NOT MONEY US IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT — then pull out your wallet and sign up to throw money on our face every month! You can also pull out an envelope and stamp and send money to Wonkette, PO Box 8765, Missoula MT 59807. Whatever, just please support us any way you can.

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YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW

We shall now count down the top 10 stories of the week, chosen as usual by Beyoncé:

1. A Texas Billionaire, The Stripper He Beat Up, And The Mugshot He Doesn’t Want You To See. A story written by “Respectable Lawyer” while we were on vacation!

2. New York Times’s Maggie Haberman Has Chosen To Be A Dick Today. Because she had most definitely made that choice.

3. Trump On Puerto Rico: A Lot Of People Don’t Know About ‘Ocean’! MANY WATER. MUCH OCEAN.

4. OMG Y’all, President Stupidass Actually Thinks He’s #WINNING This Football Fight. And he STILL DOES.

5. If He’s Going Down, Paul Manafort Will Take Half Of DC Down With Him. Because that’s the kind of asshole he is.

6. The 9,746 Top Reasons We Don’t Want To Watch Megyn Kelly’s Dumb Fuckin’ New Show. All 9,746 are “because fuck that shit” is why.

7. TRUMP UNITES AMERICA! (Behind The Strong, Classy Black Dudes Playing The Foosball.) You guys, Shy wrote a post about #TheSport!

8. If Maggie Haberman’s Hot Takes Get Any Hotter, We’re All Going To Burn To Death. Ow! Ow!

9. The Week In Garbage Men: MGTOWs Declare Sex Dolls ‘The New Standard Of Beauty.’ Because OF COURSE they did.

10. And finally, Homeland Security Just Took A Year To Tell States They Got Hacked By Russia. THEY WERE ON A BREAK. It’s probably not that important anyway.

So there you go. Those are your top ten most clicked upon stories, according to Beyoncé. They are very good stories!

Oh, hey, sign up for our newsletter RIGHT NOW DO IT DO IT DO IT:

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OK bye or whatever, don’t get blocked by Maggie Haberman on Twitter this weekend.

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Jesus, just Jesus.

      Or maybe Jumping Jesus.

      Or else maybe Jumping Jesus Holy Mahogany Christ on a Pogo Stick.

      This old orange son of a bitch really is stitching the whole NFL meme into the Puerto Rico catastrophe, the whole “ungrateful people of color failing to thank our troops and our first responders, so let’s have a police state so I can punish them for their ingratitude” thing.

      God’s Teeth, will somebody wake me up from this horrible dream?

      • Ricky Gay

        Today is the day he became presidential?

        • Nounverb911

          President of the He-man Women Puerto Rican Haters Club?

        • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

          Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnngggggghhhhhhh!

        • coozledad

          Wait til he goes down there. NPR will have a team ready to suck his balls.

      • coozledad

        He is become death, but he only has two little hands.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “NFL players hate the first responders!1!!”

  • armed_bears
    • Ricky Gay

      Trump: “He sniffs my farts!”

      • Ghenghis McCann

        From the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue by Francis Grose
        FART CATCHER. A valet or footman from his walking behind his master or mistress.

      • Edith Prickly

        Jesus, if that’s true how is Price still upright??

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This week’s top 10 achieved a Double Haberman! That’s rare. In ice skating, a Double Haberman is when the skater falls down twice, because the ice doesn’t know the facts or appreciate the nuances.

    • Nounverb911

      But it does understand gravity.

    • Ricky Gay

      And then the ice is turned into blocks

    • Bananas Foster

      It’s hard to skate when the ice is so slanted to the left. /s

    • THEY: Watch NASCAR for the epic wrecks.
      WE: Watch ice skating for the epic pratfalls.

      • Ill-Advised

        Both sides!

  • Bananas Foster

    The week before last was an entire week of professional development.

    Now I’m away for the weekend for more.

    Oh, they put me up at a nice hotel and pay for my meals!!!!

    I just want to be at home. I don’t need this much time around people.

    • Nounverb911
      • Bananas Foster

        If I drink enough that won’t hurt.

      • OutOfOrbit

        and then what happened?

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        hold my beer…

    • WeaselPoo

      In comparison, I experienced just 1 day of ‘professional development’ because HR proactively and synergisticaly vertically leveraged only the “management” part of my Systems Management Specialist title, presumably because ‘people’ = ‘resources’ = ‘system’ therefore “Manager” .
      So the PF was really just Briggs Meyer workshop woo resulting in me and one colleague failing to conform to the predisposed BM model and being classified as “weird”.

      Still, while I sympathesize with the nonsense you are being obliged to endure at least you have a job and a home—which I don’t. Not to be a dick about it, but..well… it could be worse.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “One week without a major hurricane striking. A remarkable improvement over the last few weeks. You’re welcome, America. #MAGA.”
    — Donald Trump

  • btwbfdimho

    The Pope: “God Is Fake News”
    It took thousands of years to say the obvious.
    Next.
    Oh, will Francisco be excommunicated by Roy Moore?
    Asking for a “friend” .
    https://twitter.com/Pontifex/status/913712457868181505?s=09

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I haven’t been a Catholic in a very long time, but I like the cut of his jib.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        He actually practices helping the poors. Like that long haired guy they claim to follow but have no clue about.

  • Nounverb911
  • ariel_gee_398

    Jesus. The token republican on Joy just cited Rick Perry as an example of the get ‘er done part of the cabinet. The bar cannot get lower…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Pence, having used the vice presidential power to break ties in the Senate once, is the big achiever in that cabinet.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What did he call it…”the cold beer caucus” or some shit? I guess he forgot about Perry’s racist ranch in Texas.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Or the fact that that dumb motherfucker didn’t even KNOW what the Energy Dept. did until after he took the job.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          But flouncing about on “Dancing With The Stars” OTOH…

          • ariel_gee_398

            Don’t forget the time he fondled some maple syrup. By far my favorite bizarre Rick Perryism.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I missed that one. *hits google immediately* I thought nothing could top his “oops!” moment of infamy on not knowing what cabinet positions he was going to eliminate while drowning the federal government in the bathtub.

          • ariel_gee_398

            That was typical dumb Perry, sure. But I love the added bizarre twist with the maple syrup. I assume he was on drugs (prescribed or not) or drunk at the time, because usually only stoners display that much affection for food products.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            He did have that period there where he was hanging around 7-11s late at night, buying up lots of snacks.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Did you see him hanging around your shop?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            He stopped by trying to sell me some copper wire he’d gotten his mitts on.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Rick Perry without the fortune of birth would pretty much be that, right?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s amazing how wealth hides mediocrity, particularly for white men.

            Looks like Spurs finally got the easy win over a lower table team. Kane’s second goal was a beauty….he dribbled through what, four or five defenders on his own? Some of the bottom PL teams seem particularly inept this year. I was watching some of the M.U. match; Crystal Palace looked like a hapless pub team. Lukaku’s goal scoring has been impressive, but a lot of them have been absolute sitters against non-existent defenses. Speaking of scoring goals; fucking Ronaldo. Fourteen in his last seven C.L. matches. NObody does that.

          • ariel_gee_398

            I suppose that’s one of the reasons why they cling to their money – fear of exposing their mediocrity.

            He’s absolutely on fire at the moment. 13 goals in September – only two other players have hit that mark – Ronaldo and Messi. The second half was dull, but I think that was the game plan. Put the game to bed early and then just sit back and defend the lead. I think part of the problem is a real dearth of quality defensive players. Even Liverpool have a shit defense (as evidenced by Newcastle scoring on them), they just have enough quality up top to make up for it. But they’ll never win the league with the defense they’ve got currently. So the choices for lower table teams is to either play with a back 5 or 7, essentially, and hope to hit on the counter, or to go for it and leave themselves totally exposed.

            Hey, Harry has 5 in his last two CL games. I’m not feeling great about the chances of picking up many points in our next two CL games (both against Madrid), but I hope it’s at least entertaining.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Can you imagine Trump or his spawn without money? They’d be homeless or in prison.

            Yeah, Kane is really on it. I’ve been impressed with Erickson too…he played really well in the WC qualifiers with Denmark. Real seems to be hitting stride as well; I think Benzema is out, but when you have Asencio to fill in…plus Bale seems to be recovering his form. They could be scary.

            OK, off to a picnic for my mom’s 93rd birthday…toodle-oo.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Eriksen is a delight to watch. The only one underperforming, I think, is Dele Alli, which is a shame because he is a DELIGHT when he’s on form.

            Hope you enjoyed the picnic. I’m enjoying a Golden Monkey (Victory’s tripel) after a sour hibiscus lager (that was very good and not very lagery), so a decent beer day. Also, be warned there seems to be a mighty infestation of trolls around this evening. Quotas, I guess?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            So what did Alli do to get suspended for the England WC qualifier coming up? I just heard about it.

            Picnic was lovely; the nice thing about Tucson is that you can drive 45 minutes from my house and be up in the pines at 8,000 ft. elevation where it’s nice and cool. We call these places “sky islands”. Golden Monkey is one of my favorite beers. Bastards stopped stocking it at the joint where I play every Monday night…I think they realized they were selling it mostly just to me, at a cheaper price than they should’ve. I’ve been drinking this Upslope Blood Orange Saison; they add some peppercorns, so it slightly spicy, but really tasty and refreshing.

          • ariel_gee_398

            He flipped off someone (he and Kyle Walker both say it was Walker, the BBC originally ran the story as him flipping off the ref) during the last game. I mean, Qatar is building WC facilities on the backs of slaves, but let’s deal with the important issues.

            Why not ask to get paid in Golden Monkey? You must have worked for worse.

            Not him that I’ve seen, but weird long rants have been posted in replies to me a few times, and that Spaghetti person was around. Plus some other randos just eating up bandwith.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Between Russia and fucking Qatar, I’m really conflicted about the WC…ordinarily one of the highlights of my life. Russia is bad enough, but the Qatar story just epitomizes FIFA graft and corruption at its very nadir. I can’t believe they haven’t pulled out of that decision.

            Are you sure those weird long rants you get in reply aren’t from me?? After Wolf Tracker, who I initially felt a bit sorry for then realized was a genuine crazy person, I think it’s generally best to follow your advice and just avoid these people. I mean, some run-of-the-mill Republican shitbag, I’ll get a few shots in, but the mentally unbalanced ones…who needs it, right?

          • ariel_gee_398

            I will probably boycott Qatar. I’m undecided on Russia. I’ll probably end up watching, unless something changes in the interim, or there is a large movement to boycott so that my doing so would be part of that.

            Nah, this one is trying to draw me into a debate about the (false) equivalence between the n word and “cracker”. No one being intellectually honest could make that argument, so…

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I see. So…the “you’re the real racist” argument. Geez…never heard THAT one before. I’m almost curious enough to look up the thread. Almost. I went to a dinner party last night. It was very loudly pointed out that none of the host’s Republican friends were invited because I said I was attending. I’ve done worse things at parties, I suppose.

            I’m really torn about the boycott thing. I mean, morally, I’m all for it. But being old, I’m thinking “how many more World Cups am I going to see?” The whole Qatar thing is just an insult to the sport, to the players, fans, to humanity in general…just ghastly.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Well, a black person told him cracker was just as offensive, so….

            I’m kind of hoping some of the players decide to “retire from international duty” in protest. I think that’s probably the only way to stop it.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’ve never met a blah person in my life who thought “cracker” and “nigger” cut equally deep, the latter being historically weighted with 400 years of slavery and oppression etc. But what do I know? Maybe it was Ben Carson who told him that.

            Qatar in the summer should be lovely; why would players object?

          • ariel_gee_398

            Exactly. They were actually arguing that, white folks were sharecroppers and just as oppressed, which, jesus fuck. We can’t fix this country until we fix the stupid in this country, and I have very little hope of that.

            I thought they were thinking of moving it to the winter, weren’t they?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Well, we have learned now that white people are the real victims of racism and slavery. Duh.

            So, WC in the middle of the European soccer season? Why don’t they just hold it in Antartica if they’re looking for a climate/logistics challenge?

          • ariel_gee_398

            Yeah, the final is Dec. 18. Good times.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            I think his excuse was that his prescription meds had had an unexpected side effect, but I thought he was just having a breakdown.

    • ManchuCandidate
      • Nockular cavity

        This country needs an enema.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Latverian Diplomat

      What a statesman.

    • eyelashviper

      He was on a twitter tirade this am, slamming the mayor and calling the folks of PR lazy…
      Sick fucker, he gets worse by the day.

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      Garbage. He’s just walking garbage.

  • Nounverb911

    Well, OJ gets out of prison this weekend.

    https://twitter.com/evanmcmurry/status/914138229540102144

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      O.J. doesn’t look so bad…standing next to Trump.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        One is a heartless sociopath. The other is …

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Did Joe Arpaio turn him down?

    • Parakeetist

      Oh shit

    • Good_Gawd_Yall

      O.J. would fit in this cabinet like a hand in a leather glove shrunk by being soaked in blood.

  • Michael R
  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Trump’s response to Price’s luxury grifting: “The Obama people spent A LOT of time in the air, believe me”. Flying coach, of course, but why fuss over petty details. The important point is “THE NIGGER DID IT FIRST!!11!!!”. My liver isn’t going to survive this fucking shit.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Forget getting to Mars. Can Elon Musk work on growing synthetic livers for us?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’ve taken to giving my good friends a squeeze in the lower back when I see them, checking for possible future donors.

  • ManchuCandidate

    How long will it take to before even the AI replicant sex dolls reject MGTOWs and rip off their dicks in revolt?

  • Belasaurius

    Trump’s on a tantrum about Puerto Rico this morning.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      What says “ahhhh, Saturday!” more than rage-tweeting and 18 holes of golf?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Oh, shit. Is it raining at his golf course? We’re going to be in real trouble if so.

  • Me not sure

    Trump said that Puerto Ricans want “everything done for them”. I guess the military will be off-loading C-130s full of bootstraps for them to pull themselves up by. Who needs food and water? They make great dog chews, too!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    *wakes up*
    *sees Twitter*

    Welp, so much for a relaxing start to the day…

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      makes a 9 am beer justifiable.

      • You’re at SCHOOL! *Gasps, clutches pearls, faints*

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          god, if ONLY schools and work had cold kegs.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))
  • alpacapunchbowl

    So here’s a ridiculous and stupid thing that we can just laugh at instead of getting rage-y. Watch the video featuring a “recipe” for peanut butter slices. This woman frightens me.
    http://www.foodnetwork.com/shows/mom-wins

    • Doug Langley

      Wait – you slice out peanut butter and put them on a plate or something? I’m scared to look.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        It’s so dumb, you spread a glob of peanut butter on parchment paper, fold over the paper and use a rolling pin to get the glob to a consistent thickness. Stick that in the freezer overnight and then the next day cut bread-sized slices off with a scissors, place that on the bread and tell your hungry kid to wait a couple minutes for the PB to thaw before they eat.
        This is purportedly to save time and avoid tearing the bread while spreading the PB- the horror, the horror!
        I swear I am not making any of this up.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Save time? DaFuq?

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Maybe she hasn’t heard about Uncrustables?

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Those seem pretty gross to me, but I can at least see that they could have a purpose- camping trips, long days at sports events, that sorta thing.

          • Shanzgood

            I have a little sandwich-pod maker I got ages ago. You put a slice of bread in it, then the filling, and fold it shut. The edges get sealed up and the crusts cut off in the process, and you end up with a miniature PB&J ball (or whatever you put in it).

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Those seem gross to me, but I can see how they could be useful for camping or long days at a kid’s sporting event or something.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          WTF, over?

        • Shanzgood

          Get better bread jeez.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            There were a few times growing up that we couldn’t afford “better” bread, but even as a kid I usually managed to spread peanut butter without tearing it. But even when I did, what kid gives a rat’s ass??

          • Shanzgood

            No kidding. I hate white bread but I’ve bought plenty of cheap “weak” wheat bread and it’s NEVER torn.

            Wait, she’s probably using that “natural” peanut butter that has to be refrigerated.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          I once saw a Lifehacker tip telling you that if you warmed the plate first, it would keep your steak warm for longer.

          • alpacapunchbowl
          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            must have , love Jon Hamm. thanks for sharing.

          • Shanzgood

            My British XMIL used to warm the dinner plates in the oven every time.

          • Spurning Beer

            My dear departed mother gave me an actual device for pre-warming plates, a sort of folded-up electric blanket with slots for dishes to slide in. She was born in Canada.

          • puredog

            Do they even have the same plugs up there??!?!!

          • HellhathnofuryDemme

            Yes, but don’t EVEN get me started on Robertson screws!!

          • Sophie McMillan

            my granny always did this.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            I just put my plate on top of the toaster oven.

        • WeaselPoo

          Its like a quantum event horizon of….something unfathomable.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            We are rapidly approaching the dreaded Peanut Butter Singularity!

        • therblig
        • Arolpin

          And your kids still get laughed at because they don’t have the pre-made frozen Smuckers PB&J sandwiches that all the cool kids get. (Seriously, they sell pre-made, frozen PB&J, the idea being that they thaw between morning and lunch.)

        • SeeTrain65

          TRUE STORY: I was in a speech class in high school and we had to give a demonstration speech. My specialized subject was how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which I handed to students who wanted them. The sandwiches got raves. I got a C.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            That sounds like a very clever piece. Boo, teacher!

    • eyelashviper

      First world concerns, and in the light of disasters we all have seen recently, this is just disgusting.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        But the bread! It might tear!
        Yah, I’m with ya.
        I haven’t had cable in years, what the fuck happened to the Food Channel?

        • eyelashviper

          Sigh, torn bread, how will we ever cope???
          Reality TeeVee is a cesspool with no bottom.

    • Edith Prickly

      Seriously?? The point of a peanut butter sandwich is that it takes 30 seconds to make. Wasting a lot of time and expensive parchment paper to roll out the PB and freeze it…FAIL

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        When you use bread with the consistency of bathtub suds, this is how you get peanut butter onto it.
        I prefer bread made for people with teeth.

  • Michael R
    • ManchuCandidate

      http://i.giphy.com/u8B3oAJRmAgIU.gif
      Corgis are gonna sue for stealing their trademark sploot.

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Awww…
      Frenchies must be wonderful.
      Mr. Demme has allergies, so I can’t have all the dogs I want.
      (My girls say I really want a “dog farm” with at least six.)
      When I was in Australia, I saw loads of them.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    Hopefully, Manafort the plug that will be pulled to drain the swamp that occupies the Oval Office?

  • Juan de Fuca

    *wakes up, turns on CNN, learns that Trump is now criticizing the people of Puerto Rico*

    Because of course he fucking is. I’m not one to hate anybody but I seriously despise that man. Anyways, Mrs. de Fuca just hopped back into the bedroom before heading off to her volunteer job at the San Diego House Rabbit Society (and yes, it is a thing) and asked – “So, you’re taking me to see the movie It tonight, right?”

    Yup.

    And life is good again. *turns off CNN*

    • OutOfOrbit

      i have heard of rabbit dildos

      • Juan de Fuca

        Go on…

      • Shanzgood

        They’re probably tiny. But I hear the batteries last forever.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Me too and I do not want to hear of it again.

        • OutOfOrbit

          but you will hear of it again oh yes you will

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            “Let me tell you something else about the rabbit dildo…”

          • OutOfOrbit

            go on

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            no

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      thank the lord for good life partners!

      I wish I had one. Lol.

      • Juan de Fuca

        We keep each other sane with this dipshit in chief. Who attacks the people of Puerto Rico while they’re going through what they’re going through? I loathe that bum.

        But fuck that, how’s school?

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          good…I get my 2nd test back today.

          in lecture right now. I’m not hip to what trump is saying about PR, that might be a blessing.

          (And thanks for asking!)

          • Doug Langley

            Well, it’s good to keep your blood pressure under control.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Trust me, it’s a blessing. Just the same old nasty stuff.

            Hope your second test comes back great!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Show them what you show us, Honey. You’ll find someone. :)

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          aw, you’re sweet.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Same here. But I’m not actively looking right now. It would have to be someone pretty damn special for me to be seriously interested. One of my buddies & I went out for pizza and beer but I think it freaked us both right out. We kind of avoided each other for months at gatherings. And it showed me that I was in no way ready to be intimate with a man. It’s not a matter of body insecurity, I’m actually pretty happy with myself right now. It’s a matter of trust and in this environment, I’m just not feeling it.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i hear ya, it’s my thing too. I’m too selfish and sending a LOT of time and energy to better myself. I LIKE being alone a lot. I’m not alone enOUGH these days.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Not to sound condescending but sometimes it is better to work on you, I found mine after I decided to stay single and really did not want a partner. He had to work really hard to convince me.
          tl:dr I got lucky.

          • Courser_Resistance

            No worries, I didn’t take it that way.

            That’s basically what I’m doing and why I’m not terribly interested right now. I’m going through some huge… shifts, I guess, since the election and it’s kind of like finding out who I am all over again. Because things are so different now on so many levels. I’m kind of getting in touch with my core values and beliefs. I think it’s because the current climate is so contrary to what I’ve always believed about my country. Far, far from perfect but essentially on the right road. Now, it’s… it’s all gone. Coming to terms with that has been brutal and still very incomplete.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            We were on the right road and going forward but some assholes are determined to set us back. I think we are all going to need each other more than ever in the coming months.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I envy your relationship. All my peeps are off at a cool SAR conference in the mountains. I’ve been looking forward to it for months. I’d already paid for it, but cancelled. I’ll drive tonight and tomorrow night for Lyft. Not having a real job fucks with my life. Leaving home right now, even for a weekend, would drive my anxiety into overdrive and I won’t live like that.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Do you think that in their cold, withered Heart-of-Hearts that even R’s must be ashamed and shocked by Donald John’s near-abandonment of Puerto Rico?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Ha! You crack me up sometimes.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Not if the responses on CNN’s Twitter feed are any indication – some say the mayor of San Juan is at fault because “if she has time to talk to reporters, then she’s not doing her job”, and others just bleat that CNN is “politicizing” it because “they only show the whiners”.

      • Me not sure

        If you have time to spend at Bedminster and tweet and play a few rounds
        YOU’RE not doing your job.

      • Courser_Resistance

        There’s a certain segment of ugly people who resent the fuck out of paying for disaster recovery. Those stupid fucks CHOSE to build on/in a swamp/island/beach/wherever and they deserve to lose their homes, jobs and even lives. Basically, ‘People who live in paradise deserve what they get’

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Read any unmoderated comments section, and about 10% of the people will tell you that the suffering victim or victims deserved what happened to them, no matter what the circumstances. They can’t face the possibility of a random universe, and they have no empathy for others.

      • Rags

        “If he has time to go to his golf courses 86 times, he’s not doing his job.”

        • Pisto75666

          Wonder if someone’s tweeted that to THEM. OMG they’d lose their fucking MINDS! (the precious little they’ve got as it is.)

      • bupkus231

        I “predicted” this reaction from the Trumpanzees, when someone noted earlier that Mayor Cruz was appearing on “Morning Joy”.

        Of course, I suspect that most of us expected it. These fuckers are just so danned predictable in their hate.

      • Sophie McMillan

        i was reading some of the Huff Po comments. Seems the right wing talking points this morning are #1) all PR people are commie libtards #20 why didnt they do something before now #3 why are “we” expected to help them out when they owe money to ( insert name/group) .

    • eyelashviper

      If they were human, but as they are vile and despicable creatures, they probably love his crude and cruel comments.

    • OutOfOrbit

      too stupid for that “feeling”

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      There’s just never going to be a “Have you no decency?” moment for this vile little man, is there?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        It seems no. Hate and Stupidity are the Coin of the Realm in these United States.

      • Red Richmond

        Why would there be? Everyone already knows the answer is No.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Is this a trick question?

      • Suttree

        When did you stop beating your wife!?

    • Belasaurius

      “feelings are for losers”-GOP

      • Courser_Resistance

        ‘Unless they’re MY PRECIOUS feelings!!!’

    • biologydave

      No

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Donald John’s near- abandonment of Puerto Rico.

      –FTFY

    • ariel_gee_398

      They’re just as upset as they were when W failed New Orleans in Katrina. Well, maybe slightly less upset than they were about that because Puerto Rico and the USVI don’t have the same representation in Congress.

    • Dutchman
    • Pierre_de_Fermat

      Yes, but they are the ones who have loathed DT from the start. No one in Congress or (heavens) the “Congressional Leadership” will say a word. That sad, sick, twisted group called “the base” has them too a-skeered.

    • Ah, I see your mistake. Hearts are removed before or shortly after becoming Republican

      • Anna Elizabeth

        It’s funny, I was a Teenage Republican.

        Really. Dear Old Dad was a D, Reagan promised a 600-ship Navy, and I had posters of USS Nimitz and the nuclear-powered cruiser USS California on my bedroom wall next to Samantha Fox and Heather Thomas.

        But, after the utter disgrace of Iran-Contra and Oliver North, I learned. My first POTUS election when I was old enough to vote, I voted for Bill Clinton.

        • HellhathnofuryDemme

          Rs were different when you were a teenager.
          The Talibangelicals hadn’t taken over (yet).

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Not for lack of trying on the “so-called moral majority.” part.

        • You had your heart transplant! Actually, joking aside, Reagan would not cut the mustard as a republican now

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Indeed. I was 13-14, but I remember the business of the country mostly proceeding during the Reagan years. Nothing like the clusterfuck the 21st Century has seen.

      • therblig

        along with brains.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    okay, now I feel bad about my previous comment.

    We just learned how the 9/11 terrorists abused the student visa process to disappear. Kinda fascinating actually.

    • Suttree

      Was I on the nod when that happened? Don’t worry about it then. :)

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        heh, I ducked out for a smoke myself.

    • Doug Langley

      You cover a lot in your classes.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        indeed. That’s why I think the prof gets frustrated with all my questions, he fucking hustles through tons of stuff.

        We’re learning now why you see cars with mexican plates dropping kids at public schools. (Surprise, it’s complicated).

        • Doug Langley

          Personally, I like students who ask questions. At least they’re interested. Sumer camp was something, kids LOVE asking questions. But a class of dullards staring glazed eyed . .. eww.

          • I pissed off one of my high school teachers ROYALLY by reading more than was required and questioning his rationales

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Heh. In university EE classes, I would point out the errors in the Prof’s lectures. That lead to many awkward moments. {{{Brag: I got A’s anyway; I’m sure I was graduated just to get rid of me.}}}

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            heh. Nice! I don’t actually correct him or anything, cause he’s wicked smart and experienced, I just ask a ton of questions (and ANSWER a ton of questions, mostly correctly).

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Yeah. That, in retrospect, is a better strategy. I’ve had fellow students take me aside and tell me to STFU…but then they were the same people who followed me around because they needed help with their homework. An EE student with groupies can become a head case really quickly, lemmetellya.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            lol. I know a smart student who did that with a different prof on a particular issue she really knew a lot about from work.

            She just stayed mum.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Well, gals can get in a great deal of trouble correcting certain male instructors. I’ve seen it happen too many times.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            my muslim palestinian refugee now a U.S. citizen teaching American government felt that way. he HATED when people didn’t comment or ask questions.

  • memzilla Ω

    SOMEONE CASH PRICE’S CHECK! QUICK!

    Y’ALL *DID* GET THE CHECK BEFORE HE QUIT, RIGHT?!

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Gotta love weekends. I’m using mine to clean the silicon sealant off my counters with chaffing dish lighter goo. I’m fairly certain that breathing that crap has lowered my IQ about 70%. Just about perfect for absorbing today’s twitter tantrum by the short-fingered orange toddler.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      See what your budget countertop installer got you? Thanks, Obama!

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Hah! Really, he did a nice job, but I’m a perfectionist and those little blobs of excess sealant kicked my OCD into high gear. Normal people would never notice that stuff, but my years of jewelry making have forced me to develop an eye that scrutinizes all those tiny details.

        I live in a very old house with wonky uneven, un-square, un-level surfaces throughout, so everything must be measured and cut precisely to fit. He managed quite well.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Uneven, un-square, un-level old houses are pretty great…they’re also the craftsman’s bane! I’m a stickler for details that way too. Little mistakes just scream “look right here!” at me.

          • Martini Ambassador 🍸

            As I was typing that, I was thinking, I know APDrublic is going to relate to the picky-detail tic. It’s a craftsperson thing. All the best ones I know are sticklers for getting as close to perfection as humanly possible.

    • janecita

      I’m watching “Horton hears a Who.” Why can’t Horton be our president?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Who?

        • janecita

          ISWYDT:-)

        • Suttree

          Who’s on first?

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Used to be Hu.

          • SeeTrain65

            “I don’t know.”

            “Third base.”

      • therblig

        a person’s a person
        no matter how small
        but donald j. trump
        is the smallest of all

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Horton is too intelligent and goodnatured to be our president. That era of our history ended in early January.

        Also too, Horton had a good memory. That’s a definite no-no for a presidunce these days.

        I grew up with a Horton Dr. Suess LP record. That makes me an esspert.

      • Spurning Beer

        As Doktor Zoom and that librarian in Cambridge would tell you, it should be “Horton Hears a Whom.”

    • Suttree

      My IQ has dropped by half after using paints and solvents for so many years.

      “What do you mean I can’t drink it!? This shit gets you high!”

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I just finished painting connectors on an electronics project (*) and got my fill of solvents and other fumy crap. I had to wait a whole twenty minutes for the crap to evaporate off of my hands before I attempted to light this cigar. I’m sort of tipsy at the moment. And that was with ventilation although I probably could have done this outside.

        (*) The project has so many connectors that the sensors and whatnot that I color-code the connectors and their receptacles in an attempt to avoid hooking things up wrong which would be bad. (That and keying the connector pins to prevent accidental miss-connections.) I already let the magic smoke escape from two transistors and three controller boards…

        I don’t know why I’m TMIing all over the damn place this morning. It must be the acetone fumes or something. Sorry about that.

        • foiled again

          I’m still trying to work up the guts to gut a HP Pavilion to replace the fan/heat sink. I am scared as hell to tackle it. I rebuild V8s without issue or fear but I am terrified of the computer. Any advice?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I have two HP Pavilions. I cleaned the keyboard in one of them wrong and broke the keyboard which resulted in me getting double characters. I got the service manual and a replacement keyboard for it. It took me about four hours to disassemble and replace the keyboard. (Elebenty bazillion tiny screws!) Then I sold it to a friend after which the keyboard quit working…

            So I bought it back and did the whole four-hour thing again, taking only three hours this time. The failure was I didn’t attach the little ribbon connector for the keyboard properly and it came loose. I just hate when that happens. I still have the thing although it runs Windows Vista…I use it for playing mahjong while watching vids.

            ETA: Oh yeah. Advice: Find the service manual on the HP site and download it. Study it carefully. Get a set of precision screwdrivers. Allow yourself a big block of time so you are not rushed. Take notes as you go. Take breaks when you start feeling frustrated. Don’t do weed at the same time. Be very patient and don’t force any screws when putting it back together. Putting it back together sort of requires you to read the steps in the service manual in reverse (I suppose that’s obvious, though.) Oh, and every time you re-attach a connector, test to make sure it won’t pop-out easily (but don’t force them.) This is generally an operation that folks shouldn’t try to do at home…

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Sorry if you need to refresh to get the ETA: advice part.

          • foiled again

            I found what appears a pretty decent tutorial for the job on Instructables, and yes, there are a million tiny screws but I’m very nearsighted so my close vision is excellent. I’m just worried about muffing the job as I have zero computer skills and thus no insight into what may go wrong throughout the process.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Best of luck to you. Just don’t be rushed about it. I leaned the don’t rush thing from working on avionics and spacecraft electronics. If you have problems in the “don’t rush” department, it’s better that you find a tech who can do that. I know $$$, but it’s better than a broken laptop. Being nearsighted definitely helps: Have good lighting, also too.

          • foiled again

            Thanks. I have all the time in the world and am generally careful to the point of paranoia so there’s that. I worry about doing something dumb to zotz components, with static electricity and like that.
            There are no techs around here, sadly. On my own on this one.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Static electricity! I forgot about that. Don’t work unless you can find a place with humidity of, say, at least 60%. No carpet. I used a wrist strap and an anti-static mat–but those are things somebody like me would have. I would probably do this on the kitchen counter otherwise.

          • foiled again

            Right-o- glad I asked. What could I fab up to stand in for a wrist strap? Ground myself and the work somehow?
            Plus also too, got to keep the cats away.
            Sounds like a jackpot…wish there was a worthy tech with vehicle trouble, we could swap jobs.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            I’m not sure what a good substitute for a wrist strap would be. You could get one from amazon/ebay if you don’t mind waiting for it. Just attach the ground clip to a water pipe or something. Or the ground in a power socket, although I’m reluctant to recommend that for obvious reasons. (And that would assume your grounding is properly wired.)

            Oh, and for all the different screws, I used an 18-egg egg carton and used the holes in it in sequence of the disassembly steps in the manual. Don’t let the different kinds of screws get mixed up!

          • foiled again

            I could ground to the conduit I ran all my electric through- this is an adobe house so the juice is surface-mounted. No carpet here, just wood and bare concrete.

            Yes, organization appears key above all. When I tear down an engine, for instance, I place all the valvetrain components in things like ice-cube trays so that all components go back together exactly as they were uninstalled. Sometimes I’ll draw a rough diagram on corrugated cardboard and punch each fastener into it so everything’s accounted for in sequence and position.

          • Arolpin

            ESD is real, but you don’t need to go overboard. If you don’t have an ESD strap handy (they include disposable ones with memory chips sometimes) just make sure you touch one hand to something metal attached to ground before you touch the electronics.
            The thing about working on computers is that if you take your time, make sure the pins are lined up, and don’t force it everything pretty much snaps together in a way that makes is pretty obvious when it’s right.

          • foiled again

            Thank you- here’s a couple questions: Does it make sense to place the work in a metal tray which is grounded? I normally do mechanic work wearing surgical gloves- good or bad idea for computer work?

          • Arolpin

            If the metal tray is grounded, and you ground yourself to the tray, you should be good. I don’t like working on a metal tray though, because whatever you are working on can slide along the tray and make a nasty scraping noise. Actually, it’s because screws bounce a lot high when you drop them on a tray rather than a table with pads and a tablecloth.

          • foiled again

            I did find the HP service manual but it’s generally remove this, remove this, assembly is reverse, like that. I and a neighbor rebuilt an automatic transmission using a Ford shop manual for reference and it was less helpful than one would hope- too generalized and vague.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Well, yeah, that’s what the HP manual does. There is an assumption that the person using the manual knows the details of how various connectors and such are used, for example. So, my experience may not transfer well to you, now that I think about it more. That makes the task even more challenging. There might be some how-tos on Instructables or on various tech forums. That would require some time spent hunting for them with the google. I will add more insights as I can think of them. If you were near Phoenix, I’d do the work for you for a couple of six-packs of Cooper’s Original Pale Ale.

          • foiled again

            That’s the way it works around here: Help me build a porch, I’ll help you do rotors and pads, plus beers either way.

            Here is the tutorial I found, on Ifixit. https://www.ifixit.com/Guide/HP+Pavilion+dv7-6c90us+Cooling+fan+Replacement/44253

            What do you think?

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            That’s it. I am pretty sure I’ve seen that one before I fixed mine. It looks familiar. Anyway, it does cover the most important points.

          • foiled again

            Okey-doke. Forewarned is forearmed. Thank you!

          • Earle

            Have a knowledgeable friend show you how to do it in exchange for a 6-pack or nice bottle of wine.

            Some of those Pavilions can be tough to work on – the large desktop towers are pretty simple, but the smaller the case, the harder it is to get to the parts that need replacement.

            On a desktop, sometimes the fan can be unscrewed from the heat sink and as replacement just screwed on top. A new heat sink means scraping the old thermal paste from the cpu and putting just the right amount of new paste on — too much or not enough can cause overheating problems.

            On a laptop, you may need to disassemble half the unit to get to the fan. I am actually waiting for a fan from China for my daughter’s Lenovo laptop – we’ll work together on replacing it so that she can do it herself next time. She just replaced a video card in a desktop a few weeks ago…

          • foiled again

            Roger that. This is a laptop and it needs to be COMPLETELY disassembled in order to replace the fan/heatsink. The new units- I bought two just in case- have the thermal paste pre-measured for just the reason you specify.

        • Erala Contratista

          Got very sick from acetone in my art school daze…with all open windows and a fan blowing in the work space.
          Water based media, pencils and copd nowadays….

    • foiled again

      Is chafing dish lighter goo basically naptha?

  • The Wanderer

    Another day, another occasion for Crystal Palace to take it up the arse with no grease. Trailing ManU 3-0 in the 54th minute.

    • Sophie McMillan

      As a life long Red Devil – ha ha ha ( not what i really said) to all those who said the mid week Moscow game was going to make this a difficult game for Man U.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Updated version…

    Wake up Maggie I think I got something to Tweet at you
    It’s late September and you’ve really been taken to school
    I know you’re not amused but I feel you’re being used
    Oh Maggie I couldn’t have tried any more
    You kept beating that dead email horse but now you won’t atone
    You blocked me on Twitter and that’s what really hurt

    The snotty tweet when it’s in your face really shows your age
    But that just worries me loads cause in my eyes you’re nothing
    I laughed at all of your posts my scorn you didn’t need to coax
    Oh, Maggie I couldn’t have tried any more
    You kept beating that dead email horse but now you won’t atone
    You blocked me on Twitter and that’s what really hurt

    • Suttree

      Maggie May or may not drink her breakfast with a chaser of Dilaudid.

  • Suttree

    I couldn’t even bring myself to read about “Megyn’s” new show. I did share the #1 story though. I hope that got you a penny!

    • Sophie McMillan

      the fall out has been a joy to watch. Wonder how long they will keep this show going??

  • rosenbomb

    I went down a rabbit hole and started reading about how terrible Dubya was (Katrina was a stain on his legacy– will Maria be the same for Trump? Somehow I doubt it…). Anyway, now I’m outraged about Trump AND Bush. Rs will do anything to preserve power and wealth.

    “A generation from now, it will be the rise of the Idiocracy. It started with the Bush administration’s attack on education: Dumbing-down everything, firing teachers, advocating intelligent design, rewriting textbooks, and the like. Levels of discourse have plummeted everywhere, from Reddit to Congress. Reagan made Bush possible. What will the Bush legacy spawn?”

    http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/George_W._Bush

    • bupkus231

      The only way that Rump’s bullshit “handling” of the crisis in PR will not end up being a “stain on his legacy” is that that “legacy” is so stained that no single fuckup will stand out.

    • proudgrampa

      Well, we’re watching the spawn of the Bush legacy…

      Have I mentioned that we are freakin’ doomed?

  • memzilla Ω

    I’ll tell you what I’m waiting for, and don’t think I’m wishing for it, but once commo is re-established with PR, there’s gonna be a shitload of stories about people who died from either thirst or bad-water-borne diseases like cholera, typhoid, and dysentery. Let’s see hope Trumpelthinskin tries to spin THAT shit about being anything but brown-people hatred and neglect.

    • eyelashviper

      He will blame them all for not using those bootstraps that were airdropped all over the island…

    • President in Exile Firefly

      “It’s well known that brown people easily succumb to tropical diseases.”
      –Tucker Carlson

    • Claire

      He doesn’t need to. His base loves seeing brown people die. They live for that shit.

  • grindstone

    Happy news: my MIL asked my spouse what he thought of president trump. Husband said he was a horror of a human being, an embarrasment to our country, and he was ashamed of anyone who voted for him. THEN he really went off. I hope he pinned her ears back.

    • janecita

      I take it your mother in law voted for this horror?

      • grindstone

        My husband and I are the only non right wingers on either side of the family. My family has been curiously quiet of late, I’m hoping to see signs of buyer’s remorse. His side, oy gevalt. It takes every ounce of my southern upbringing to remain basically civil around them.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          I guess they know how to translate “bless your heart”.

          • grindstone

            I’m thinking of just ending every conversation with “I’ll pray for you.” which is nuclear-grade fuck you, especially coming from agnostic me.

          • Courser_Resistance

            I’ll have to remember that.

            Personally, when someone tells me they’ll ‘pray for me’, I thank them and say that I can use all the prayers I can get. I’m also agnostic, more or less. And to be fair, I don’t think those people were using it in the ‘fuck you’ way. I’m in CO, so maybe some of them wish me ill, but I naively thank them. Kill em with kindness!

          • grindstone

            Just like “bless your heart”, which can be either sincere or acid, “I’ll pray for you” has multiple meanings. Typically, the acid version comes when a christianist knows they’ve lost an argument and just wants to end it. They mean they hope your evil heart changes and you see the light, and if that change of heart comes with severe tribulation, bonus for them.

            Btw, I use bless your heart sincerely, or sometimes jokingly, but I have never used it as fuck you. Yet.

          • folderol

            How would you feel if they said, “I’ll perform a Wiccan ceremony to chase out your inner demons.”? Isn’t that essentially equivalent?

          • Courser_Resistance

            That kind of violates the spirit of the Wiccan Rede, so anyone who said something like that is not really Wiccan.

          • folderol

            Then fix it!

          • Erala Contratista

            Wow! Did not know that!
            Thanks.

        • janecita

          I’m so sorry:-(

        • Why? They don’t remain civil around you when they are saying liberals are evil demon spawn trying to destroy the country and we should run them over with cars.
          Why should you remain civil?

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

    Remember when we actually had a President? https://twitter.com/pglynn61/status/914113561571528705

    • ariel_gee_398

      Well, hiring actual scientists to handle the science stuff did give Barry a bit of an unfair advantage.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Here’s Donny Two Scoops handling the same situation:
      https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2017/05/trump-golf-bedminster-redux.jpeg?quality=85&w=373
      “Weather emergency” = cloudy day.

    • Covfefe

      Donald is not your self-starter.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      LOL – some butthurt Trumpanzee on that Twitter thread insists the image is photshopped. “Look at the lines!”
      (It’s an actual photo of an actual president at actual FEMA headquarters during the actual response to hurricane Irene.)

    • folderol

      To be fair, Trump didn’t know Puerto Rico was part of the United States until Thursday, when someone explained it to him. Until then, he was more concerned about the logistics of building a wall around the island, with so much ocean.

      Also, it is full of Democrats who don’t vote, so that’s the other thing. I really wouldn’t expect any better response if it were, say, New York City. He has to protect his base, you know.

      • He still doesn’t realize Puerto Rico is part of the US.

        • folderol

          Well, he forgets.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Four bottles of water and 3 “snacks” may be all these families get for days…
    https://twitter.com/DavidBegnaud/status/914077228966858752

    • Courser_Resistance

      This is breaking my heart. I’m part of a small (relatively speaking) SAR team. We’ve opened and staffed shelters in the past after the 2013 floods here in CO. We don’t self-deploy (which is SOP) and we really wouldn’t be able to do much in PR without transportation support but dammit, we’d do SOMETHING to get supplies to those remote areas.

      I hope this failure and the resultant deaths will be hung around the necks of this Regime for decades.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        That’s why they need the full support of the armed forces. Army and Navy choppers can airlift supplies to inaccessible areas, and airlift out people in trouble. Construction battalions and engineering corps can clear the way. A carrier can produce fresh water and electrical power to support the state and municipal government.
        As Lt. General Buchanan, the flag officer on the ground, said – he doesn’t have the manpower or equipment he needs. He has 5,000 troops deployed (by comparison, the military had 40,000 troops deployed to secure and assist in New Orleans alone after Katrina)

  • coozledad

    I been goin’ to church too much, but…

    It’s not just the Republicans. Most of us already knew they were human shit, devoid of higher cognitive function, whose bhakti is money. But they’re merely a significant minority. We could imprison the whole gibbering clownish wheelbarrow of freaks within a matter of days, and begin to rebuild the world they’ve made every effort to destroy.

    What they require to survive, beyond the blood of the poor, is the acquiescence of middlebrowed, self-satisfied whites, who have a misplaced confidence they’ll never be the victims in this zero sum game. They’ll be free to ape liberal views and act as racists simultaneously. They believe they’ll never have to look across the table at their Republican dining companion and think I’m the next fucking course. They believe his torture advocacy doesn’t apply to anyone within spitting distance of the messianic code of Gonna get your money too! that animates these creeps.

    Because you’ve internalized their ridiculous value system. You’re the sad shadow of their drive to consume, and you desperately want some of that gloss. That car, that overgrown brick monstrosity, that facelift, that child dressed to identify as part of the cult of GET. Collaborationist whites even have their own branded news sources to help them through the dissonance that attends compliance. It echoes their unwillingness to lend any credibility to the voices Republicans despise.

    And that’s why the feeble and the old who are beginning their ultimate migration to Fox News, the Berniebro and his pseudosocialist religion, and the schlubs curled up in front of the idiot box to vicariously fuck, marry, or kill, will be among the first cut down, revolution or no. You can’t live as true human beings between the wheels of justice and injustice. You can only be crushed to complete irrelevance.

    • Suttree

      That is beautiful!

      • coozledad

        My psychoses look better than me.

    • foiled again

      Great work. Top-notch.

    • proudgrampa

      Well said.

  • Kneeling Bozilingus

    I am probably the last person to pick up on this, but Charlie Pierce refers to tRump as president*. I finally realized the * is being used the way Vonnegut had used it.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d22aadd5c6aab5d762f4cddc0199b4618fd0cac1777fbfb516a3b589a832a52c.jpg

    • Suttree

      Ha! I had forgotten about this! Thanks for the memories. :)

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i remember getting to that page and stopping to consider and appreciate that page.

  • Suttree

    The hallucinations have started. There is a giant horned chicken behind the building. It is just made of trees and kudzu, but now I’m scared of giant chickens!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Better or worse than giant hedgehogs?

      • Suttree

        Worse! much much worse. The horror….the horror….

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Hey, one of those things will keep you fed for a month. Go get it!

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Dinsdale?

    • puredog

      Are you just outside Barstow, by any chance?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        ObObligatory: And then the murders began.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
    • SeeTrain65

      You might not want to know this in your condition, but …

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Ohhh the reception for the Orange Anus in PR on Tuesday will not be pretty…..50/50 he cancels.

    • Suttree

      I’ll take bets that he just lands and sits on a ship at sea.

      • Shanzgood

        There won’t be anyone to drive him.

        • Suttree

          He can command sailors to love him though! Isn’t that what matters here?

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        ‘Mission Accomplished!’

    • Anna Rompage

      They’ll fly in a could himdred supporters, or use the military personnel there to pack the stands…

      • Suttree

        Will there be paper plate smiley faces on them?

        • Doug Langley

          Gold plated!

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Flying in supporters instead of relief supplies is what I expect from Little Babby Donnie.

        • puredog

          He can drop bundles of electoral maps.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      50/50 he blames bone spurs again.

    • Me not sure
      • OneYieldRegular

        Trump didn’t even manage that much for his first trip related to Harvey.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      $1 says that Melania gets off the plane wearing beach wear, a big floppy hat, and sunglasses.

      • Phried Ω

        and heels. Don’t forget heels.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Not just heels. Stilettos.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I love her shoes, what can I say, I’m a shoe whore.

      • Daniel

        She’s hoping for a new pool boy.

  • Nounverb911
    • Pisto75666

      I’m dissapointed. It doesn’t say on either side of Price Trump and Miller were.

    • On a flight to Austrailia, delayed on the tarmac for an hour. With lots of turbulance

    • Count Awesome

      Hopefully in the afterlife he has to sit on the right wing of the plane with the gremlin.

    • Pisto75666

      I completely missed the snark part and took this for real. I really should stop doing that.

      • SeeTrain65

        When you see the name Andy Borowitz, assume snark first.

        • Pisto75666

          That’s the thing. I never make the connection when I see his name. It’s my own fault for not paying attention :D

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “[Puerto Ricans] want everything to be done for them when it should be a community effort.”

    Says the man who could not “win” the presidency without help from Russia. And CNN. And Comey. And the NYTimes. And Trey Gowdy. And Fox “News”.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      They need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, just like Trump did.

    • Me not sure

      …and meth users across America.

  • Anna Rompage

    “Who would have thought in America’s divorce, that the left would end up with football”

    • Count Awesome

      It’s in better hands that way.

    • Me not sure

      We will have basketball too, once the season begins.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      I assume we’ll also get hockey. Because Canada.

      • Pisto75666

        That depends. I wonder if Canada’s still annoyed our teams keep winning the Stanley Cup.

        • Covfefe

          “our hockey teams” hire very few Americans. Almost all of their employees are Foreign’s on B1B visas, do “do work Americans can’t do.”

          • Pisto75666

            It’s always been the narrative that the Middle East is the danger but I personally think it’s Canada. They have brown people masquerading as Canadians there!

          • Covfefe

            Michigan is the first line of defense against Canada.

    • Count Awesome

      Who’d have thunk it that football would actually become a “political football”

    • OrG

      Bet we get soccer too.

      • C4TWOMAN

        *resist… resist… resist..*
        Soccer is actually REAL football.
        American football is an alien rugby hybrid .

        • SeeTrain65

          … that’s trying to do away with anything involving feet.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I’d rather give the orange shitgibbon the NFL, and take away that other “football” that some military dude is always carrying around with him.

      • proudgrampa

        Good point…

  • Joe Beese
    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      The first responders and soldiers are way to busy to be paying attention to the shitgibbon’s tweets or the so-called “fake news”.

    • ariel_gee_398

      At least someone is working overtime in Puerto Rico, Donnie, amiright? Better than those lazy residents living without food or water or power or fuel for cars and generators.

    • Viktor

      How are they broadcasting with no electricity? Trump don’t know how electricity works. Sad. Horrible. Terrible grammar President

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      fuck him – as said earlier this morning, I met an army medic on friday who was getting married friday ahead of deploying to PR.

    • Fucking asshole IT IS NOT ABOUT THEM IT IS ABOUT YOU

    • SeeTrain65

      Upvoting, not for agreeing with this raving lunatic, of course, but for showing once again he isn’t fit to hold an unlit candle, let alone the highest office in the land.

  • OrG

    I must be out of the loop. Who in the hell is Maggie Haberman?

    • bbayliss

      Oh, how I envy you.

    • foiled again

      Maureen Dowd in training wheels.

      • OrG

        So, my ignorance is indeed bliss.

    • Covfefe

      Obvs, you’re not one of the cool kids.

      • OrG

        Godammit, I used to be one of the cool kids.

    • C4TWOMAN

      She’ll be hurt to hear that.

    • SeeTrain65

      You know what a reporter is. She isn’t that.

  • Viktor

    Let’s see Trumps scorecard for the week
    NFL 1
    Puerto Rico 0

    Golf 1
    Puerto Rico 0

  • BMW
    • SayItWithWookies

      What a monster — I mean, who the fuck answers a plea for help by criticizing an entire island’s people? This reminds me of my racist great-uncle’s rants about his black and Puerto Rican tenants — I’m pretty sure slumlord Donald has heard/said the same stuff and this is all that ugly nonsense coming out again, except this time he’s the leader of the country.

      And let’s remember the Italian proverb: a fish rots from the head.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        He just barely stopped him self from saying “Fuckin’ spics”. You know he did.

    • Wait. So a couple of days ago she was complimentary and therefore ok, but now Democrats are forcing her to say nasty things?

  • IdiotsforPalin
    • Rags

      and he hearts his pit bull ….

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      That there’s some free speech.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Unsurprising news. On CNN (I think) earlier today, Republican Congressman explaining how his constituents are desperate for tax cuts. The people in Puerto Rico are also desperate, though not (I assume) for tax cuts. But the Republican says, after Harvey and Irma we don’t have the “resources” to help Puerto Rico. Maybe now is the time to raise taxes to pay for the inconvenience of global warming.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      I don’t want my taxes raised until the super-wealthy people and corporations pay more, and less of my taxes go to corporate welfare and the bloated military industrial complex.

    • Spurning Beer

      Then I’d say we don’t have the resources for a tax cut, either, Congressman.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      If his district were hit with a natural disaster, I bet he’d be screaming for “resources” though.

    • Here is the thing with the great tax cut.
      We might get 600 or 1000 dollars in tax cuts. But we fucking LOSE it twice over with the deduction cutting.
      Why the fuck is the news not going “Average family of 4 making 70k a year gets to cut 500 in taxes, but their net return will be -350 due to the axing of this and that deduction. “

    • Tokays_don’t_blink

      Desperate for tax cuts? Pffft. Republican Congresscritter, that word does not mean what you think it means. You’d think taxes were pulling people out of their beds and eating them alive with that kind of rhetoric. But no, in Biz-R-O world, paying to maintain roads, services and other perks of civilization causes far greater misery than having an entire island hurtled backward by a hundred years.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Student’s question: “Why are we called a sanctuary city?” (in response to being told we’re not one really).
    Instructor: Cause there’s a lot of Mexicans here?

    • Doug Langley

      He he he.

    • foiled again

      It’s all got to start somewhere.

  • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

    So I woke up to this:

    …Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan, and others in Puerto Rico, who are not able to get their workers to help.

    .
    Trump reprimands people whose homes are in ruins and have no food, water, medicine, power, or means of communication or transportation for not doing more to help themselves. I wonder who was responsible for deleting the tweet. I doubt it was trump and despair that this monster is POTUS.

    • BMW

      The mayor’s true crime was daring to speak out against our racist orange overlord.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    The Mayor of San Juan is wading through sewage, searching for people with a bullhorn while @realDonaldTrump insults her on twitter. pic.twitter.com/hO5iZ1PICj— Jason Kander (@JasonKander) September 30, 2017

    • foiled again

      Wading through liquid Trump.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Why doesn’t she just push that guy over and take his boat?

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    And then there’s this:

    Hey @realDonaldTrump, stop bullying her and listen! People can't use the Internet without electricity. https://t.co/G8CqYS7UoB— Mark Elliott (@markmobility) September 30, 2017

    Residents asked to register via internet for FEMA assistance, says San Juan mayor. https://t.co/jv4MlLC6rE— NBC News (@NBCNews) September 30, 2017

  • Anna Elizabeth

    Fucking Disqus!~ 20 million Russian whores posting Spam every fucking day but Dicks-us decided my link about a Same-Sex marriage proposal getting cheers at an MLB game was “Spam”.

    Fuck this shit.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Well, the 20 million russian whores probably don’t have 20 million russian whores reporting their posts.

      • Suttree

        I am a Croatian whore tyvm.

    • data_ninja

      Next time mention Google, working from home, and land rovers or mclarens (your pick). That should get you by the auto-censors!

    • C4TWOMAN

      Hello I am Tatiana and I am having good deal for you! Make many money! Work from home!

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • foiled again

    Given that Trumpites are often nasty belligerent vandals, on the rear window of my Bus I wrote “UCKFAY UMPTRAY’ with the understanding their knowledge of pig Latin is meager at best.

    • Daniel

      Now they’ll just get angry with you for not speaking American.

  • Run2Live

    Recommended response to Donnie Dump’s Twitshitterstorming this AM.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3d1f5bf2d5c0f19fef954cf6d5750a242de932b396be27dd3a2f2402ce784477.gif

    • eggs ackly-wright

      That’s pretty.

      • OutOfOrbit

        yes, a thing of beauty

    • Suttree

      “Santa! I know what I want for Christmas!”
      -99% of earth

    • Doug Langley

      I like Presidents who don’t get tackled.

      • Suttree

        Even W. was pretty spry. He could dodge a shoe with the best of them!

    • foiled again

      That is some highly skilled work- wow.

      • BMW

        It first started floating around the interwebz last October.

    • Duke

      Where’s my retweeter machine when I finally need it.

    • FlemmishSpy

      Heckuva vote there.

    • Covfefe

      Stretching the rules there. We ought to have more couth than Brietbart and Red State.

      • hella photoshop job tho

      • FlemmishSpy

        Agreed, even if the subject has no couth whatsoever, hence the fantasized slam in response to a particularly odious oozing.

    • BMW

      I just realized its almost been 1 year since the Access Hollywood tape came out.

    • doktorzoom

      [Comment removed by moderator]

      Please review the rules. That’s not kosher. And would you believe I actually was notified of it by our resident troll, who clearly gets up earlier than I do on Saturday? Like a stopped clock, he happened to be right (albeit in the middle of a rant about Wonkette’s Disgusting Hypocrisy)

      Subject: Why are you allowing Wonkette forum to promote violence again Dok?

      You made a huge issue and wrote an article about Trump promoting violence against Hillary with a golf gif but you are allowing the same kind of activity in your forum.

      Actually, we don’t allow this. That’s why the post is deleted.

      (I am a hypocrite for not reading every comment as it appears, apparently — he emailed me within 20 minutes of the comment…)

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

  • Carpe Vagenda
  • Me not sure

    Texas is sitting on a “Rainy Day Fund” of $50 billion which it has yet to tap for its own rebuilding effort and yet Trump accuses Puerto Rico, which is bankrupt, of wanting others to do everything for them. There will be a day of political and legal reckoning for the son of a bitch in the White House soon, and it won’t be pretty.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i hope you’re right but i keep recalling the war crimes of bush-co

    • Phried Ω

      Pretty is in the eye of the beholder. Speaking of Eric Holder, shame he can’t be in on the kill.

    • OrG

      I hope you’re right,but recent history says these fuckers will not be punished. Legally,politically or any other way.

      • Me not sure

        The wheel of karmic justice may grind slowly, but it grinds to a fine dust. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9d454d9ed28c7cef777b1cd628375ed09c5b2cadca10423df02f077e1fbdea73.gif

        • Daniel

          That dust is noticeably orange.

        • janecita

          Is that why Kissinger is still alive, and Cheney has a new heart?

          • Me not sure

            They never had Mueller on their ass.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’m reminded of the veterans who marched on the White House and were shot.. during Great Depression maybe? (Can’t be arsed to Google on this OMG tiny phone)
        Anyway that seems to be where we’re going…

        • Anna Elizabeth

          The Bonus Riots?

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonus_Army

          General Douglas MacArthur and Colonel George Patton actually ordered the Veterans charged by Cavalry, and this was *after* the Police shootings.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            Now those two are the sort of military that Trump would approve of.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            They both fascinate me, for different reasons. MacArthur served as a General for more years than most men would be allowed to have in a career . He was a Prima Donna, Eisenhower was once asked if he knew General MacArthur, and Ike’s response was “I studied Dramatics under him for 5 years.” Ike was Mac’s Chief of Staff in the Philippines, pre-war.

            I have long admired Patton’s aggressiveness and military thought, but I’m afraid he must have been a Lunatic as well.

          • janecita

            You are a military encyclopedia! Very interesting.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Reading history helps me fill the hours, and it’s calming when I get depressed.

          • janecita

            This was my father’s favorite war book. I read it as a child, and once again a couple of years ago. It’s very interesting and well written.

            https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0012D1DBY/ref=pd_aw_sim_351_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=BJZ47GE9Q14ZANE5MYY2&dpPl=1&dpID=61IGrLqlMfL

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Added to the wish list, thanx. :) It sounds very interesting.

          • Erala Contratista

            Yes! History is my comfort zone too.
            Can be infuriating and calming to learn how many times it repeats. Currently between the South and early Spain….

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Indeed. Lately with the wreckage the USA is becoming I have found a strong interest in learning about how it all began.

          • Paul

            Know who I admire? Gen. Smedley Butler. He wrote “War is a Racket” and stopped a fascist coup by the super rich.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Business_Plot

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Ol’ Gimlet Eye. :) Butler served every rank from Boot to Lt. General in the USMC, and was fond of freedom, protest, and the rights of American citizens.

          • Paul

            Figured you’d know about him. A REAL hero. Wonder what he’d say about the current clusterfuck we find ourselves in.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh, he’d be angry and eloquent. I first read him in 1991, when I learned for sure my health would keep me out of the Navy. He was an eye-opener.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            My dear departed father who was in WW11 said MacArthur was an ass who did not care about his own men, just his image.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I would agree. I’ve heard stories of Mac committing the Marines to unnecessary operations because he was still jealous of all the decorations won by Marines in World War One.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            That fits right in with the little he had to say about him. Dad respected Patton way more.

          • Mistress Anna Elizabeth

            As do I. :)

            Your father sounds like one Hell of a good man.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            He really was, his word was his bond. Just ’cause you like this sort of thing here is a pic in his uniform. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/05b839d5e067952caf62de6752b1c9d0a3525601be6f633f90de5a993e718d8c.jpg

          • Mistress Anna Elizabeth

            Thank you. :) He looks good. So young, so determined.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I hope it is not inappropriate that I posted that. He and his fellow soldiers help change the world. He was a sharp shooter and a medic and helped liberate the camps. He came home and had what was politely called a nervous breakdown. He did not speak of the war much for many years. He cried when he told me about helping liberate the camps.

          • Mistress Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ No, it’s fine, but if you want to delete the photo it’s fine.

            He saw and did so much, he made a true difference.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            ~hugs ~ as long as people are ok with it. I’m very proud of him.

          • Mistress Anna Elizabeth

            I’m glad for you, and he had quite a Daughter too. :) ~hugs~

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            ~hugs~ much love to you.

          • Mistress Anna Elizabeth

            And to you Nat. :)

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Thanks hon, I’m so glad you are back.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Yeh that’s it. Bloody Hoover…

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Recent history says they will be rewarded. According to the Peter principle.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Bwahahaha.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    i don’t understand why my prof doesn’t seem to like me when he shows great patience for the dumbass girl in our program who just asked a question that missed the entire FOUNDATION of this discussion.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      When I was taking paralegal classes there was a handful of students like that. I could see the prof mentally rolling their eyes. I used to wish they’d find another major and stop wasting class time.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        she likes it and works in the field. But she’s bad at it – at least in class.

        I mean, the qualifier she didn’t get is a huge paragraph on the goddamn board.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        heh, she just asked another question. His answer “No, x is completely different.”

    • OutOfOrbit

      titties mebbee?

      • janecita

        Great minds, blah, blah, blah

        • OutOfOrbit

          i knoooow. nobuddy can explain it

    • janecita

      Boobs?

      • This unfortunately is likely the case.Either prof is the type that female= extra attention to leer at, or prof is the type that things female=hopelessly dumb and you have to treat like a children.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          nah, he’s starting to get frustrated cause he’s learning, or as we know, she asks stupid questions, gets shit wrong, and starts telling us pointless little stories and comments.

          • …so she…true stories you?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            they’re usually, “at my job…” stories.

          • At MY job, true stories comment you

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            oh, and she does it in this tone and voice that drives me nuts…

          • Lemme guess….bit smug and condescending?

          • The Wanderer

            A la John Houseman in The Paper Chase?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Gah, that’s almost as bad as when you get trapped by an overly proud Grandmother.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          also, he’s a good dude. He has a lot of patience for people struggling to understand and not a lech.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Yep they are a secret weapon.

    • shivaskeeper

      Maybe he expects better of you?

      If you are teaching someone who is competent, you forget can they don;t know everything you know.

      • NotReallyHere

        I have this problem with my kids. They’re very bright, so why can’t they figure everything out INSTANTLY??

        • shivaskeeper

          Something like that.

    • subatomic

      My guess is that this might just be a trained reflex. Often the students that give professors the most grief (complaints to Chair or Dean, poor evaluations) are the ones that are the poorest students and refuse to except that they are who is responsible for their poor performance.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Is she cute? Sadly that is often how things work.

    • SeeTrain65

      “But you’re not as confused as she is, are you?”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyh1Va_mYWI

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        oh hell no – she knows nothing

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Suttree

      When will he figure out that EVERYONE hates him?

      • mackafritz

        Everyone except his devoted fans.

        • OrG

          I’m not sure how many “devoted” fans he has. If it pisses off “Liberals” it’s good. Even if it’s slitting their throats.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Never. Not even if he is indicted or impeached. He is impervious to everything and anything negative about him or his policies. He doesn’t read negative comments, listen to anyone who speaks out, see demonstrations or even the results of his bad actions.

      • OutOfOrbit

        his faculties lack the necessary receptacles

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Seventy years ago when he figured out mommy and daddy.

        • jowgajen

          Sad. Probably true.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      I don’t think anybody needed to tell her to be nasty to him.

    • OutOfOrbit

      that POPS is seriously mental and needs to removed.
      HEY Mueller!
      “Don’t bother me I’ve found another thread to follow into oblivion.’

    • foiled again

      She’s got spunk. I normally hate spunk but in her case it’s great.

  • IdiotsforPalin

    Expecting General Kelly’s resignation in 3…..2…1

    • jowgajen

      God I hope so. This is an entirely expected new low for two scoops.

      • mackafritz

        Just when you think he’s hit bottom he digs down some more.

        • Daniel

          One day he’s going to fall out if planet to dig through. And then fall into space.

          And with his last lungfull of air he’ll shout something racist about an as yet undiscovered Amazon tribe and how unattractive he finds their women.
          As he gropes the atmosphere’s vulva.

      • OrG

        There is NO BOTTOM.

        • Daniel

          Which is odd given how large an amount of Trump is bottom.

        • quantum mechanic

          It’s assholes all the way down.

    • janecita

      He won’t resign. He is as despicable as everyone else in this corrupt administration.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Maybe. But he’s a competent adult. This has got to be so embarrassing. I’d be looking for a way out if I was him…

        • OutOfOrbit

          competent? arguable

          • He is scarily competent. His immigration raiding was brutally efficient.
            Saaayyyy like someone ELSE we know!

          • OutOfOrbit

            competent at meanness

          • C4TWOMAN

            Well he appears, from his aborted facepalms to know when his charges are acting like loons.
            What he can do about it..

            *Shugs*

          • OutOfOrbit

            that’s it right there

      • Daniel

        He has reportedly given Trump n ultimatum- Jared or him. Puerto Rico is another one of the many Trump fuck ups Kelly can claim it’s his patriotic duty to try and manage.

        • jowgajen

          If he gets Jared out we will have to accept that he is a force for at least lawful neutral.

          • Daniel

            Awful neutral. Izer.

          • Why? Jared is an ineffectual little fuckwad who hasn’t really done anything- at the white house. Getting him out changes nada

      • SeeTrain65

        Agreed. They’ll have to drag him out. He thinks nothing he does can ever be wrong. Even when he contradicts himself.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      My guess is that if Donald John’s little homily about utterly destroying the DPRK didn’t drive Kelly out, that Kelly is simply not going to resign.

      • Daniel

        My quit predictions have been off of late, but my guess is Kelly is likely to go over something bruising to his ego rather than a point of principle. Anything in that latter category he can, will and has turned around to say he needs to be there to prevent Trump’s incompetence making it even worse.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          That’s a good point. It might finally get to where the shit pushes that Haemunculus’ button once too often.

      • That is war tho. Hell, Kelly is probably creaming his shorts for another whack at NK. He might succeed where MacArthur and Douglas failed!

        • Daniel

          Please tell me Douglas’ first name was MacArthur.

          • Sorry meant the other dude, and now I have to google him to remember XD
            The dude before Big Mac went “I will go to Korea”
            Edit: Or maybe the guy after him. Ken Burns, can we haz Korean War Doc now, plx? Nice and simple for lil brains like mine?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      There is a school of thought that says Kelly, Mattis and McMaster are remaining out of a sense of duty, as well as out of concern that things will get WORSE if they leave. Well…perhaps. But at some point they have to ask themselves if all they are doing by staying is prolonging the disaster that Trump’s presidency is by their tacit acceptance and aquiescence to his authority.

      • Phried Ω

        No need to remind anyone that our military tradition is never give up until the politicians force them to.

  • DainBramage
    • mackafritz

      Those in hell will say, “What did we do to deserve HIM.”

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Trump in hell would claim they love him.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          “I have the best inferno. Everybody is saying, it’s the best.”

      • SeeTrain65

        “Ask your servants on Earth. You know, the GOP.”

  • quantum mechanic

    Fer crissake Kim Jong show a little initiative. Drop the big one on the White House (M-Th), Bedminster, NJ (F-Sun.). Thanks.

    • jowgajen

      Rules.

      Also there are regular people who happen to live near there.

      • Daniel

        I assumed “the big one” meant “a ballot box bursting with votes”.

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          Three stage Ulam Teller thermonuclear votes are OK, right?

      • OutOfOrbit

        mebbe drop a 50lb. bag of drugs from 40,000 feat onto his head

        • doktorzoom

          Also, the rules.

          — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

      • quantum mechanic

        Folks being very literal this morning. Cool.

        • Granny Sprinkles

          No. Your comment broke both the letter and the spirit of the rules. “Gosh lady, can’t you take a joke” is not the proper response to being nicely called out.

        • jowgajen

          Yeah, sorry, tired/angry/sad does that to me.

          • Granny Sprinkles

            Why are you apologising for being right?

    • doktorzoom

      This one’s so hyperbolic that I’m not sure I really need to say anything, but since I also offer a Rules reminder when people talk about bringing back the guillotine, I have to note, for the sake of consistency: Please review the rules.

      — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

      • quantum mechanic

        Sorry Dok. I was thinking of the Randy Newman song Political Science. Duly noted.

        • doktorzoom

          Eh, as I say, it’s a borderline call.

  • Shanzgood

    I just got a notice in the mail that my polling place has changed again. This is the 3rd time this year.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      In our city we can vote at any polling place, which is very convenient.

    • OutOfOrbit

      mebbe fake news

      • Shanzgood

        I got 3 notices: one for me and one for my son and one for my ex (who’s not lived here for 2 years). My son and ex are registered as independents so I don’t think they’re just screwing around with Dem voters.

    • What orbit said. Double check and what not, as applicable.
      There is gonna be some MAJOR ratfuckery this year. Would not put it past them to start passing out fake notices.

      • Shanzgood

        I always check it online now to make sure I’m still registered. And last time I voted (special election) I took a screen shot of the online information showing my official polling place in case I needed to prove I could vote where I was going.

        What a mess.

        • Indeed. This is a big reason why “so many don’t vote” also, too.
          Last election there was a young lady in line with us, and when it was her turn, they told her she was at the wrong place.
          She said, but I checked online and they said here. Look, see on my phone?
          And the old white lady was having none of it. You can’t vote here.
          Young lady but I had to get a ride here, and they won’t be back for another ten minutes- I can’t go all the way to the other side of the county!
          Old lady too bad so sad
          I was VERY rage punchy

          • Shanzgood

            I wonder whether she got to vote after all.

    • suziq

      Can you do the absentee ballot by mail thing? Very convenient! I did that for years until WA went vote by mail permanently. Sometimes I kind of miss standing in line with the neighbors gossiping but really so much easier.

      • Shanzgood

        Yes, but you have to request one every time.

        • The Librarian

          That’s a shame. Here in CA you can do that or request a permanent one, which I finally did. I do go in to my local polling place to drop it off, since it’s on the way to or from work.

          • Shanzgood

            Here, I think you have to be registered as disabled to get a permanent one.

          • The Librarian

            Hmmmm. You wouldn’t really miss that hand, would you?

          • BeachBum

            Yeah, she kinda would. Now toes, what are they good for ?

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Gee, there’s nothing like making it easy for citizens to exercise their right to vote. /s

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            I also vote by mail although I’m superstitious and I’m starting to believe it’s bad luck. Every time I vote early or vote by mail a Republican is elected president. I’m not taking another chance next time.

          • The Librarian

            Lol, my superstitions are more along the line of, do I trust the mail? Another reason to drop it off.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            In California, you can even check on line to make sure that your mail in ballot was received.

          • The Librarian

            Yes!

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            I don’t know if we can do that, but we can check online to see how long the lines are at all the polling places.

          • Truthiness2U

            Same as WA. You can track your vote.

            I keep on having mine challenged because I have such a crappy signature. In my defense, my right hand gets periodically swollen from over-mousing, so my writing is even crappier than normal on an intermittent basis.

          • Erala Contratista

            True, this. I go to whichever city hall is closest.
            Go Calinfernal!

          • The Librarian

            I understand we like people to vote here. :D

        • suziq

          Well they wouldn’t want to make it convenient or anything. Guessing the state is reddish…

      • Sophie McMillan

        my very first vote here in WA ( after we were naturalized) was at the local polling station for President Obama. It remains my most treasured voting experience ( after growing up in the UK during the Thatcher years )

        • Shanzgood

          Yay! My XH is British and cast his first vote as a citizen in WA as well. It must have been for Clinton in 1992 because we were back in the UK in 1996.

      • Juan de Fuca

        California does that also, vote by mail. It’s so much easier. Especially when your union sends a list of candidates and they explain how they do or don’t support unions and where they stand on other issues that affect union employees.

        *Check, check, check. Put it in the envelope, lick the stamp, done and done.*

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Obviously your voting habits are in need of…correction.

    • OrG

      They don’t want you to vote. Too much hassle.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        For them.

    • Spurning Beer

      According to Jesus, there is only one place for polling.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Can’t you vote by mail? That’s what I do.

    • SeeTrain65

      I think Kansas is trying to tell you something.

  • Mr. Blobfish
    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      This is very good to fap to. Do you have more?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I see.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    Tests back!

    PERFECT FUCKING SCORE! Perfect 100!

    No marks off, nothing missed.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/16991045b052d64e0bff2c0af1119757b748e7b57b2e6fcf6886a7dfac0bc61d.jpg

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Yay! I knew you could do it! :)

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks!

    • Shanzgood

      Whee! Good job!

    • shivaskeeper

      Very good.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i see now you gonna be absolutely insufferably smug for the next 48 hours

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        no, I managed to fill that comment with enough smug. I was thinking of paring it down, but I was feeling celebratory.

        • Juan de Fuca

          As you should. Good job!

        • OutOfOrbit

          suuure. we’ll see

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Great, kid! Don’t get cocky. :-)

    • woot! You go, Tex!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      hmm, there was a curve, but I didn’t get it.

      • BeachBum

        Cool ! But gotta learn to hit the curve for next time !

    • janecita

      You are AWESOME!!! Congratulations!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks friend!

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      It’s the Trump era. Did you pay Russians to hack the answer tabulation?

      JK; congrats!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol, thanks!

    • Pisto75666

      That is fantastic! Congrats!

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks!

    • The Wanderer
    • Shibusa
      • SeeTrain65

        I think they got it all wrong.

        The student should be teaching the teacher. Namely, sentence composition.

        Student: A+.
        Teacher: F.

    • Covfefe

      Law is easy. Everyone know that. Like to see what grades you’d get if you were an English major.

    • SeeTrain65

      BOOM SHAKALAKA. Great work.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPlL3z6M0UE

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    If Manafort takes half of DC down with him, does that count as draining the swamp? #MAGA

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I’d watch that show.

  • The Librarian

    Ms. Haberman needs to get off her high (rocking) horse and do a bit of soul searching. It’s not a sin to be wrong, but you do have to take criticism like an adult, admit it and course correct. That’s what adults do. Blame game, finger pointing and defensiveness are hallmarks of a childish mindset. Goo, goo, bad job, Mags.

    • finger pointing and defensiveness are hallmarks….of the current administration and everyone who sucks up to them

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        and insecurity, because you lack the understanding to do your job properly and immaturity because you won’t learn from it.

    • Juan de Fuca

      All I know about Maggie Haberman is that her voice wears me out whenever she’s on CNN. Sucks the life right out of me. She kinda has that Peggy Noonan effect.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        Ooh, I like the Noonan effect, sounds like when you are getting a quickie at lunchtime.

  • DainBramage
    • The Librarian

      Hahahaha! Just read that one. Borowitz is the best.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Too bad it is satire. : )

  • Notreelyhelping

    Imagined Tuesday conversation:

    Carmen Yulin Cruz: Thank you, Mr. President, for coming down here to see the situation first hand. I know it’s hard to grasp from a distance, and that we’ve had our own diff–
    Donald: Carmen.
    Carmen: Mr. President?
    Donald: Lose the glasses.
    Carmen: My glasses? Now?
    Donald: Yeah.
    Carmen: Oh. Okay. I won’t be able to read this–
    Donald: There. You see this? Everybody see this? Lose the specs, and she goes straight from a four to an eight.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Glenn Greewald says hacking of the states voting systems is total bunk. The Intercept has got to be a Russian fake news front. The head lines there are crazy shit.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      So Racine decertified their machines for the hell of it? Okay then. Cool story, bro.

    • msanthropesmr

      I have always hated him and Assange. What fucking self-aggrandizing tools.

      • amrak63

        I fell for them both for a while. At least I wised up in time to vote for Hillary.

        • msanthropesmr

          Something always seemed a little off about them to me. Maybe just coincidence, or preexisting bias, but I wasn’t surprised at the BS.

          • Pisto75666

            I have a friend who believes pretty much everything Assange ever says. IDK, because of course when I want to hear about corruption, a guy hanging out in the Ecuadorian embassy to avoid going to jail is my go-to. /s

          • BeachBum

            You could usually see their point after about a minute of ranting. Like they were reading off a script. Their brilliant insights were oddly predictable.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I can’t believe I used to like that guy. Russians must pay pretty well.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Greenwald is a true idiot.

    • The Wanderer

      Useful Idiot.

    • JD Mulvey

      The “hacking” story was indeed overhyped. Greenwald uses that as evidence that all the reporting on Russian interference are lies.

      PS. The Intercept was the paper that broke the hacking story in the first place, based on documents leaked to them by a young lady who is now sitting in a federal prison. Hmmm…

    • coozledad

      Greenwald is wiping his ass with Russian money.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      He really should not be so obvious about it.

  • Wuulf
    • Daniel

      A meow of infinite jest.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Is this the year of the Maytag washer?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Our BadKitty is a goddamn pussycat next to that guy. That’s hardcore!

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      I found it in the woods. Really.

    • Phried Ω

      Alas poor Yorick….

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      You know your kitty is a badass when he/she brings a skull home to you as a gift.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      “Hey Dewey. Get a load of this!”
      “Ahem, yes. Very impressive. Hold… hold my beer.”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c8cd1bf7a292ac20e2ef21ad47b85c05d7001020f61894a8a2fb51fbd8c7f39f.jpg

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Petulant President’s procrastination plunders Puerto Rico. Pugnacious Puerto Rican politicians punch posterior of pusillanimous prick President.

    • OrG

      PEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Excellent!

    • The Wanderer

      Delicious alliteration!

  • anon_the_great

    Twitler golfs while American civilians die for no fuckin reason.

    Impeach the Motherfucker Already

    • Daniel

      Nero fiddled while Rome burned. Trump golfs while the US drowns.

  • anon_the_great

    Ryan and McConnell and the rest of the Rethugican leadership best remember Hitler’s enablers were held accountable.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Here’s a great article that proposes Trump as a professional wrestling villain. I can’t stop viewing him that way.

    https://thebaffler.com/salvos/the-art-of-the-heel-edison

    • msanthropesmr

      He’s never a professional anything except asshole.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I prefer professional assholes that have a modicum of creativity about their work.

      • The Wanderer

        He may be, but he’s not competent. I can work with a competent asshole.

    • Spurning Beer

      He’ll make a great tag team with Ivan Volkov.

    • Wonky Magoo FKA HorseChestnut

      IIRC, he was, actually. He’s been “friends” with the McMahons forever.

      • Pisto75666

        I wonder how long that’ll last. At least until Trump goes to jail, maybe. Vince’s wife’s in Trump’s cabinet too.

      • JD Mulvey

        The wife is Trump’s administrator for the SBA! Because small businesses are just like pro rasslin’.

    • amrak63

      Gene Lyons also considers Cheetolini’s pro rasslin’ background to be significant.

      https://www.arktimes.com/arkansas/trump-and-sports/Content?oid=9950401

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      As my dear departed father used to say when he was watching wrestling, “Throw the bum out!”
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/250f76ba50db206b64d621b7665131a1475670dfc6640011db72287f2403965f.gif

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I thought he already did that?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    NBA memo to teams – coaches and players must stand for National Anthem.

    I think the difference here is the NBA actually does have a rule requiring coaches and players to remain standing during the national anthem. Whether the league would enforce such a rule, and whether the union would raise holy hell about it, remains to be seen.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I’m betting we will see players openly defying them over that. LeBron and Steph Curry for two.

      • OrG

        Hope so.If the superstars do it what can they do? Fire them?

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        I love those two and I don’t like sports.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Nothing about raised fists, I see…

    • Shanzgood

      Can an employment contract require compelled speech when SCOTUS says it’s unconstitutional? Or is that too simplistic?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Well, since this is probably something that was collectively bargained between union and management the courts will defer to that process.

        • Shanzgood

          I was asking because I’ve dealt with construction contracts that have terms in them that are unenforceable because they are illegal on a state level and the state law takes precedence. So I wondered whether a Federal ruling would overrule that provision in an employment contract.

      • FlemmishSpy

        Nothing says love of country like a compulsory oath.

        • Shanzgood

          It wasn’t until 2009 that the NFL started requiring players to take to the field during the anthem. And that’s because the Pentagon began paying the owner’s millions of dollars.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Or as I like to call it jingoistic nationalistic brainwashing.

      • “To believe that patriotism will not flourish if patriotic ceremonies are
        voluntary and spontaneous instead of a compulsory routine is to make an unflattering estimate of the appeal of our institutions to free minds.” Supreme Court Justice Robert Jackson, writing for the majority in West Virginia State Board of Education v. Barnette, 1943.

        “Words uttered under coercion are proof of loyalty to nothing but
        self-interest. Love of country must spring from willing hearts and free minds, inspired by a fair administration of wise laws enacted by the people’s elected representatives within the bounds of express constitutional prohibitions.” – Justices William O. Douglas and Hugo Black, in a concurring opinion

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Contract or not, you don’t sign your constitutional rights away when you show up for work.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Private employers don’t have to abide by the First Amendment. Now whether it violates state anti-discrimination laws is another story…

      • The Wanderer

        (cough, cough) Mine are constrained.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      This is what modern day indentured servitude looks like.

    • Lefty Wright

      But does it say what you must do while standing? That’s the problem with arbitrarily set rules. Someone will always figure out a way to get around them. Maybe with a black power salute in the case of the NBA. Which would really cause some right wing heads to explode.

  • Charon_69

    NBA issued a directive that all players must stand for the anthem…

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Been in the rules for decades. Plus if you are a player on bench not playing, must wear suit and tie. That was once more controversial, until players started dressing up anyway.

    • Jukesgrrl

      They already had that directive. Commish Silver merely reiterated it. He also said if players had political concerns he would meet with them to plan appropriate ways to address their issues. I believe him. He IS the commissioner who got rid of racist owner Donald Sterling.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Trump learned race relations from Don Rickles.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Trump learned race relations from Julius Streicher.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Coffee Spewed on the Keyboard Award.

    • Not from Rickles himself; he really was a great guy.

  • sgt. jmk of the résistance

    But…but…it is my life’s ambition to be blocked by Maggie Haberman on Twitter! Pleeeeeease don’t take that away from me!!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I think her paper has an intern mute most people, tbh.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I wonder how many trump fans have wound up in the emergency room with NFL jersey-related burns?

    • foiled again

      Reminds one of the dimwits who subsequent to the Lennon more-popular-than-God comments purchased Beatles LPs just to burn them.

      • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

        They just don’t understand the point of a boycott.

    • Lefty Wright

      I hope they did not have any health insurance.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    I just want to know what kind of world we live in when a guy is penalized for jumping into a giant Salvation Army bucket after scoring a touchdown. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/41b8170aa7242a1fc981e98a99bbad6b07887ae1b5261c09a84c665c2f223ac3.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      I can’t see why, either – he’s donating some beefcake to a worthy cause!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      At least he didn’t pretend to pee on it.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      We (well, I am not actually a fooootbaw player for the Louisiana State University Bayou Bengals – GEAUX TIGERS! – but you understand what I mean) had a touchdown called back because THIS was considered excessive celebrating or “taunting.”

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xT_TGuoLdmk

      Even El Dad – a Floriduh fan – thought that penalty was bullshit. Of course, it’s college…but yeah. Football is weird.

      • SeeTrain65

        The Cleveland Browns received an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty last year when a receiver caught a TD pass and tossed it to the official.

  • SisterArtemis

    OT, or is it? Governor Kate Brown is sending folks from the Oregon Guardsmen down to Puerto Rico, puts a post up on faceplace letting people know about it, and the first comment I read (I know, I know, never read the comments) is a screed about how she’s just doing it for photo ops, and btw KILLING BABBIES and TAKIN’ AWAY MUH GUNS!!! Good lord, what is wrong with people?

    • natoslug

      Everything.

    • mancityRed6

      people are awful, damn, people are just awful

    • mary5920

      Comment boards are often overrun with people with very little brain but like to type out what runs amok in what little cells they’re currently using.

      • Andy_Kreiss

        Right wing Facebook pages are some of the most frightening ( but hilarious). So much confidence in ignorance and being misinformed.

        • Guy Smith

          And what about the Left Wing Misinformed? Are they less hilarious and frightening?

          • SeeTrain65

            Bye, Guy.

          • Andy_Kreiss

            No, they’re probably scary and funny too, but they’re outliers, on the fringe. Not as common as the “conservative” misinformed.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          They take Dunning-Kruger to a whole new level.

          • Andy_Kreiss

            Exhibit A- Guy Smith, who I apparently triggered at another site, and dragged over here on the bottom of my shoe.

            My sincere apologies to all Wonkers for bringing that zombie here.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            That can happen if you don’t take your Silkwood shower. ; )

          • Andy_Kreiss

            Dragging a troll across site always makes me think of zombie movies, where somebody always leads the grunting brain-dead to the group.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            No wonder I don’t like zombie movies. But there are many troll-slayers around here. They’ll perform their troll-be-gone magic. That’s why I like it here no-poo slinging monkeys here.

      • foiled again

        A question: How does one type up grunting, clicking and shrieking noises?

        • SeeTrain65

          Wingdings.

      • Guy Smith

        mary5920: you seem to be one of those “people with very little brain but who likes to type out what runs amok in what little cells you’re currently using

        • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

          HI THERE!
          Fuck off.

          • Guy Smith

            Don’t go away angry. Just go away

          • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

            Not going anywhere, buddy. I live here.

          • Guy Smith

            Good for you.

          • guest1331now

            Why so sad? Share. EDIT. Oh, I see now — D’oh!

      • guest1331now

        And also, too, what runs amok in their little brains is all stuff they heard somewhere else, repeatatated. The relatively few people capable of inventing these lying-propaganda slogans that hook the attention of the dim and denying will burn in the deepest of hells for not eternity but a pretty darn long time.

    • SeeTrain65

      And when is Trump going again? I know it’s soon.

      But, yeah, HE CARES and Governor Brown’s there for the photo op.

      Tell me another one, FB fools. I might buy it this time.

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • natoslug

      Kevin seems nice. Don’t most countries with universal healthcare generally also have single-payer (i.e. the government, through taxes)?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I believe Switzerland, at least, has a hybrid market-based system not unlike the ACA.

        • javadavis

          I read that was Universal Health Care but if you want premium care you buy extra insurance. Not sure what the extra includes, but it is Switzerland so maybe includes private rooms to avoid the proletariat.

          • theCryptofishist

            And the jews…

          • javadavis

            The swiss nazi we met didn’t reserve all her bile for jews. Anyone with less money (and more empathy, so anyone) than her was fair game as far as she was concerned. But, yeah, that is the general idea.
            Funny, that, we didn’t know she was a nazi at first. But it because clear that no human was nearly as important to her as money. Sound familiar?

        • Truthiness2U

          I’ve always said that I think that going to a Swiss model, might make the most sense given our current infrastructure (and how stoopid our people are).

      • Carpe Vagenda
        • natoslug

          I stand corrected. Per that list, 50% are single payer, ~28% are two tier, and ~22% have an insurance mandate. It would be more accurate, then to say that the majority are single payer. It sounds like the mandate is the worst option of the three, at least if the goal is to reduce costs to the consumer.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            To my mind, the point is that DeMoro, who is paid a great deal of money by nobody knows who to veto the Democratic party, apparently doesn’t understand her signature issue.

          • RocketManCaptainHowdy

            “who is paid a great deal of money by nobody knows who” is the interesting part, isn’t it?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    “What I want to get across is how much the South suffered, not only through the war but after the war, during the Reconstruction years,” said David Coggins, who owns the Confederate Veterans Memorial Park in Brantley, Alabama, which dedicated a memorial to “Unknown Alabama Confederate Soldiers” in September.

    Trying to wrap my noodle around this one. They started the damn war.

    • ariel_gee_398

      “I shot myself in the foot and no one treated me like a hero. UNFAIR.”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Thank you for your service.”

    • Carpe Vagenda

      They were particularly abused during the Tilden administration.

    • foiled again

      Poor sufferin’ succotash. Piss up a rope, self-pitying Coggins.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “All I wanted to do was enslave other humans for my own financial gain. Is that so wrong?”

  • NotReallyHere

    There was an article in one of our local papers about James Allsup, one of the Nazis at Charlottesville who attends Washington State University.
    https://www.inlander.com/spokane/class-warfare/Content?oid=5758818

    Allsup’s influence at WSU is undeniable — even if others, like President Schulz, downplay the influence of a single person in a student body of 30,000. Allsup has driven right-wing activism on campus, where it was previously nearly nonexistent. And he’s served as a catalyst for resistance from the left.

    It’s really disturbing that one guy has had such an influence. I’m not sure what the solution to this problem is, but it’s a big problem in my mind.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      The bigger problem is that 60 million idiots* voted for a reality TV buffoon to be president.

      *Give or take a few thousand Russian votes

    • Jukesgrrl

      He even looks like a moron. The hateful things Trump has spawned!

  • ken_kukec

    Maggie Haberman is your college girlfriend’s roommate — the vaguely attractive one who never seemed to be having much fun … until the night she took a Quaalude and, bada boom, she’s pealing off her clothes, saying she always wanted to try a threesome. You remember that one?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Martin? Is that you?

  • IdiotsforPalin
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Ha, I knew that idiot reminded me of someone!

    • (((Aron)))

      I kinda wish my dad was Gary Busey. Life would be CRAAAAAAAAZY.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    I want to scream every time that fucking cunt, Sarah Fuckabee, says, “the American people elected the President…” No. We didn’t. Our antiquated system did,

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I’m looking forward to the entire Fuckabee family being jailed and placed on a diet of bread and water.

  • Tiny kaiju

    Mother of us all, those eyelashes on that baby girl! And those little teefs biting her lip. So precious!

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