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You know Alabama Senate hopeful Roy Moore is a bigot and a gayhater. You know he wears a backward cowboy hat and waves around a capgun like an eight-year-old Yosemite Sam on Halloween.

You know he got booted off the judicial bench twice for Moses cosplay.

BUT WHAT IF WE TOLD YOU HE WAS COMPLETELY FUCKING INCOMPETENT TOO!

Yesterday, The Daily Beast reported on several discrepancies between Moore’s Senate finance disclosure in June, and the one he submitted to the Alabama Ethics Commission in April.

For instance, Moore told the state of Alabama that he got between $50,000 and $150,000 in speaking fees last year.

Via Alabama Ethics Commission

But he told fedrul gubmint that no one paid him nothin’ nohow for no speakin’ fees. And anyone that says otherwise is a lowdown dirty varmint!

Via Senate.gov

Okay, we made up the varmint part. But, like WHYYYYYY???? This is the dumbest lie ever.

Or maybe this is the dumbest lie ever. Here’s Judge Roy telling the fed that he don’t owe nothin’ to no one.

Via Senate.gov

And here he is telling Alabama that he’s got somewhere north of $150,000 in debt.

Via Alabama Ethics Commission

Did he think no one would notice? Okay, it’s been 40 years since he graduated from University of Alabama Law School, and he isn’t exactly Perry Mason. But it says right in the instructions that false statements are subject to criminal penalty. WTF, dude? In the millionaires’ club of the US Senate, no one gives a shit whether you got a pissant $150,000 in speaking fees, credit card debt, or handjobs from a rentboy behind the Piggly Wiggly. Why lie?

Because when you lie about stupid shit, it makes people think about that other lie you told. The one about your Foundation for Moral Law (FML!). You know, the one Mitch McConnell’s PAC ran this ad about.

The Daily Beast reports,

Moore’s recent disclosure reports are not the only ones that have potential discrepancies. In a 2014 report to state ethics officials, Moore noted that his wife, Kayla Moore, drew a $65,000 salary from the Foundation for Moral Law, the non-profit group that Moore ran before assuming his state judgeship. But FML’s annual tax filing for that year says that Mrs. Moore did not receive any compensation from the group.

“Both can’t be true,” [Campaign Legal Center director Brendan] Fischer noted. “Either Roy Moore is misleading Alabama or Kayla Moore is misleading the IRS.”

We get why you told that fib. You and your wife rotated out of the presidency of your foundation, paying yourselves a salary that amounted to more than a million dollars between 2005 and 2013. Donors know that you’re not using ALL of their money to build giant Ten Commandments statues to dump in public buildings. But there’s a difference between knowing and seeing you and the missus take home $100,000 in a state where the average salary is $39,000.

The Foundation hasn’t filed the 2015 and 2016 returns yet, so we don’t know what Mrs. Moore got paid this year. But in true party of personal responsibility style, you blamed the help. Via AL.com,

“The accountant that normally does our tax returns has been sick and almost died,” said [Kayla Moore’s assistant]. “He has since spoken with the IRS and the missing 2015 return will be filed in the next few days. And we have an extension on the 2016 return.”

We can’t help but wonder what those returns are going to say if and when you ever get around to filing them. Did you take all those good people’s donations and use them to try to get mandatory prayer to White Jesus in all primary schools? Or did the foundation give your wife a raise after you lost your job in September? Did you maybe put yourself back on the payroll as a legal consultant? And were you planning to file those returns before voters go to the polls in December?

Oh, we make funny. We know damn well your accountant is going to be “sick” until after the election. Lucky thing he called the IRS — they are always chill about those things!

Now we are not saying that Roy Moore is 2017’s Todd Akin. But we are starting to smell something funny coming out of Alabama. And to think, we’d never have noticed it if you hadn’t told a pack of stupid, pointless lies. WHOA IF TRUE.

[The Daily Beast / Alabama Ethics Commission / AL.com / Senate Ethics Disclosure]


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  • notanncoulter

    grifter’s gonna grift.

  • Daniel

    This is the second most shocking revelation today. The first of course, was that Puerto Rico is surrounded by big water. Ocean water.
    Believe me.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    “The accountant that normally does our tax returns has been sick and almost died,”

    Kushner Syndrome: the silent killer.

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Yeah, because apparently he’s the only accountant in Alabama, so there was no one else who was familiar enough with filing federal taxes for a non-profit to get them done.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • elviouslyqueer

    Not terribly shocked at the sheer griftiness of this, but choosing FML as their abbreviation is pretty damn funny.

    • therblig

      let’s hope it’s prophetic

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    “The accountant that normally does our tax returns has been sick and almost died,”

    And there wasn’t another crooked one available to step in?

    • Arolpin

      Well, it IS Alabama. The phone book has to be handwritten on the back of a Piggly Wiggly bag, and you know those things only last a couple of weeks.

    • Ricky Gay

      Well see, then the dog ate our receipts…

  • Iron Monkey

    The accountant that normally does our tax returns has been sick and almost died

    Some accountants have associates or partners who can file a tax return in case the primary guy is incapacitated. If he had died would the foundation simply never have to file a return?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Asking for a friend?

      • Iron Monkey

        I know most clients (actually every client I ever heard of) would say something like, “Sorry he is sick, when do I get my return?”

        This shit is lame.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          Unless this guy is really in on the fix.

    • President in Exile Firefly

      I’m gonna try the “my accountant was really hung over” excuse this tax season.

  • WY_cryptid
  • Bill D. Burger

    Factoid: Moore’s son has been arrested 8 times, countem’ 8, for drugs and alcohol related crimes and never spent a day in jail.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d8eaadb9aa2b75800c21ce498131218faf70034ef65d727a5d8570ac34ec7484.jpg

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I wonder how many black kids in Alabama could make that claim?

      • suziq

        None of them Katie.

      • Bill D. Burger

        I doubt they would have survived the first offense.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          If the Blacks die, then so do our private prison kickbacks.

    • BadKitty904

      What a remarkable “coincidence”!!1!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Jeez, if Roy Moore was my dad, I think I woulda taken up hard drugs too.

  • btwbfdimho
    • BadKitty904

      Thanks, GOP!!!

    • OutOfOrbit

      “Pffft.”

      –the right

    • Iron Monkey

      Well, as long as it’s unknown it shouldn’t be a problem.

    • therblig
    • Lance Thrustwell

      I left Texas a LONG time ago and I ain’t going back.

    • janecita

      Never visited, never will visit. I refuse to spend my money on red states.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I passed through going from Oklahoma to New Mexico. Can’t say anything about anywhere else, but that part of the state is really ugly.

    • cmd resistor

      Those EPA meddlers, what are they doing out there?

  • Man, a hundred grand a year for a part time gig promoting Jesus stuff?

    I do declare, that I believe I’ve seen the LIGHT! YES! I SEE THE LIGHT! HALELLUJAH! AMEN! PRAISE THE LORD JESUS! I BELIEVE! AND I BELIEVE I HAVE A MISSION FROM GOD… TO TAKE YOUR MONEY AND PROMISE TO DO JESUS STUFF WITH IT! SEND ME YOUR DONATIONS TODAY AND BE BLESSED OF THE LORD!

    • Iron Monkey

      Promoting Jesus in Alabama doesn’t sound like that tough a job. Like being the PR guy for Nick Saban.

    • Andrew Rheinheimer

      Nothing like prosperity gospel.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Drink your juice, Joel Osteen.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Mr. Blobfish

    The Greater Alabama Moneychangers Guild has no problem with this.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    I’m beginning to think that nobody in the GOP gives a shit about corruption.

    • janecita

      Noooooo!

    • Creepoman

      Only if they can pin something on a Dem.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Say, has anyone heard from Me Not Sure today? He is s’posed to get what we hope is good news today, I think…

    • Spurning Beer

      About the Mrs.?

      • BadKitty904

        Yup, I believe so.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Roy Moore should count himself doubly blessed. He’s not only got God on his side, but he’s got Merlene as backup.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0bc3a60f50396d725b82b1b41bbc2f2f073dd712b7ac0b761ad1d34978633e88.jpg

    • therblig
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Steve Bannon and God spoke to her? Sequentially, or was it a meeting?

      • elviouslyqueer

        God and the Devil. That’s what we call covering all your bases.

      • Notreelyhelping

        Conference call.

      • Shibusa

        Steve Bannon and God are both on the Board of the Foundation for Moral Law.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          I wonder if he stole that from The Bird Cage. Gene Hackman’s conservative Senator was the co-chair of the Foundation for Moral Order.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “Steve Bannon and God spoke to me….”

      All of Alabama: “Thur’s a difference?”
      Steve Bannon, Dotard Trump and Alex Jones = Father / Son / and The ‘Holy Shit.’

      https://media.giphy.com/media/xUySTVBNueCK3jU2Pe/giphy.gif

    • Fartknocker

      God told me about 3:00 AM to get up and take a crap. It wasn’t a religuous moment but I did find it irritating that God didn’t put a fresh roll of toilet paper on the dispenser.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        God is always leaving the damn seat up, also too.

        • elviouslyqueer

          And always forgets to spritz Poo-Pourri or at least give a courtesy flush.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “Can’t serve both God and Mammon? Hold my beer.”

      • Bobathonic

        It helps when your gawd IS Mammon.

    • So why is it when people hear voices in their heads we lock them up for schizoaffective disorders, but when that voice in their head is “God” we give them tax-exempt status and their own TV show?

    • janecita

      I hate fanatical people!

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I do too! I hate ALL of them with the blazing heat of a thousand suns, and I will devote my life to hating them forever!

        • janecita

          Me too, I’m positively fanatical on my hatred:-)

        • Skeptical_thinker

          ISWYDT

    • Shibusa
      • elviouslyqueer

        Yes, but, MERLENE.

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      In the WaPo:

      Mable Greenwood, 58, said she voted for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election but was now supporting Moore. “The world, I don’t think it’s going to be here too much longer,” she said, explaining her attraction to Moore’s religious message. “Everything that the Bible said is going to happen — it is happening.”

  • Nounverb911

    But Moore seems like such a nice guy….

    https://twitter.com/KFILE/status/913183856416690176

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Fuck that guy. Fuck him with a thousand razor-sharp votes.

    • janecita

      What an asshole! He will fit right in with all the other assholes in congress.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      So God kills other people’s children because we don’t respect him?

      Fuck you and your god Roy Moore.

      • Professor Fate

        and what kind of person would worship that god?

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Keep in mind, God made his followers in his image, and God’s a certified dick.

    • Asterix

      That just kicks my rage into overdrive. I hate these fascist christians; they have destroyed this country with their lies and hatred. If I believed in hell I could have some small comfort that they would suffer for eternity. Since I don’t… all I have is rage for these monsters.

    • Thiazin Red

      Hopefully, that footage becomes a central part of the campaign against him.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Roy, Jeebus might bless your heart but the IRS will own your ass.

  • fawkedifiknow

    That was RAY Moore who filed those fraudulent financial statements.

  • Lurkylu

    Judge Roy’s wife makes 65k a year at a Religious Libburty non-proft? well, i am quite envious. Thats a pretty good salary. i could work for 2 non-profits here in Chicago and probably not make that. I’m on the wrong side of this grift

    • Creepoman

      Because it’s set up as a non-profit, they legally can’t make a profit. From what I can tell, other than executive salaries (Roy and the missus), FML does nothing and has no expense, so, salaries must equal donations. Presto – no profit!

      • mardam422

        1. Set up non-profit
        2. Take donations from rubes.
        3. PROFIT!! (from the non-profit)

        • Sakonyachen

          I am strangely tempted to start a fundamentalist non-profit. I’m a bleeding heart though,so I would have to donate most of the “salary”. My cousin and I thought about doing this with a gun humper superpac. We would drive around in an RV full of guns(that don’t work because we actually know how dangerous they are) and post YouTube videos of us talking to people about guns.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Lance Thrustwell

      #THAT’Smypresidentdammit.

    • elviouslyqueer

      *dies of adorable*

      Also, HOT GEEK DAD. *fap fap fap fap fap*

  • suziq

    So, true story, one year my CPA had all my tax info and he said he was “almost done” then I never heard from him again. Couldn’t get ahold of him so I 1) panicked then 2) GOT ANOTHER CPA FIRM RIGHT QUICK TO DO MY TAXES!!!!
    You just find a big enough firm that has lots of people and they can get it done right quick. Really, 2 years? Something ain’t right there.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Well, look at how much trouble the Trumps have in finding good help…

      • suziq

        But I pay my bills!

      • Daniel

        They only hire the best people.

    • suziq

      Oh, I did track him down later when I had time. He “suddenly” moved to California. But I never actually talked to him. It was weird.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    The more he propounds upon his “Godliness”, the more I have the urge to count the silverware before he leaves.

    • therblig

      30 pieces?

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Oh, how I love this. You win!!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      A guy I worked with said his mother told him to run the other way if he met anyone who wore their religion on their sleeve.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

    Matthew 19:23-26

    • P’jama Pahnts

      This is why we shouldn’t teach people to read. Please stick to “approved” bible verses, thank you.

    • OutOfOrbit

      they (the greedy) all know that they can’t take it with them, so they will be penniless when the reach the pearly gates saying, “See me pull out my pockets? I have nothing.”

  • Anna Elizabeth

    When Moore pulled out that tiny pistol, I got flashbacks to the “MASH” episode where they exchange wounded prisoners with the Chinese.

    ~Lin Tam: “Is it not enough that your planes harass us day and night? It makes it impossible for me to treat my own people. We make a civilized gesture and you respond by coming here with a gun ready to shoot us down.”

    (on seeing the tiny pistol)

    “What the Hell is that!” (laughs uproariously)

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Is that like a .016 caliber?

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Probably a .22.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          .22 Long Rifle or .25 ACP.

          • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

            I’m thinking a cap gun. Do we still have those, cap guns?

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            Probably not.

          • Bobathonic

            Toy guns are banned, because they scare people.

          • Covfefe

            Only in the Air Force. Makes them feel big, or something.

        • mardam422

          Much more important, does it have a clip, or a magazine?

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It’s a revolver, so no.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Yeah, that was a good one. Hawkeye: “He got it in a box of Cracker Jack.”

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Yup. xD

  • msanthropesmr

    Fml indeed.

  • Spurning Beer

    “Show me in the Bible where it says you have to tell the truth.”

    • Notreelyhelping

      Uh, isn’t there a Commandment dealing with that? “Bearing false witness” or something?

      Maybe by December we’ll learn that Moore killed somebody, sued all his neighbors, and has been catting around on his wife.

      • Spurning Beer

        “Coveting his neighbor’s ass,” as they say.

        • Querolous

          Covering his neighbor’s ass?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        There’s where the problem lies. Devout Christians don’t know what bearing false witness means. They should have just said, “Thou Shalt Not Lie.”

        Of course, they did do that with the thou shalt not kill thing, and you know how good they are at following that one.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    He can’t even cover up his grifting properly? Donald is going to love working with this guy…

  • Mr. Blobfish

    It’s the 10 Commandments, not the 10 Suggestions.

    • suziq

      The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has 8 “I’d Really Rather You Didn’ts”

      Highly recommend, it is a Good Book.

      • proudgrampa

        May we all be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

        • suziq

          Ramen

    • Covfefe

      It’s not the 10 Amendment anymore, either. Except for the 2 Amendment, of course.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Bill of Rights? Who’s this Bill, and how come he gets all the rights?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Jesus rose from the dead after what, two days, something like that? But Moore can’t get Jesus’ taxes done in two years? Seems like Moore didn’t give those taxes any thoughts or prayers. Maybe to busy praying that wouldn’t get caught. I see a “sorrynotsorry” in somebody’s future.

    • wait! what?

      But Jesus never got around to filing even one lousy tax return; something to do with a pre-existing hand condition…

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Ouch! But I heard the IRS nailed him for it.

        • wait! what?

          …left him stigmatized.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist
          • Querolous

            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

  • suziq

    Well they voted for him after that ad so-they don’t care? Or they like that? I have never been to Alabammy so I couldn’t guess which.

  • amindofitsown

    OT: How is this not a Wonkette story? Little Donnie knows what islands are! Somebody give him a gold star!

    “This is an island, surrounded by water, big water, ocean water.”

    https://www.facebook.com/nbcnightlynews/videos/10155924062043689/

    • OutOfOrbit

      “I did not know that.”

      –anybody in his loyal base

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Celtic_Gnome

        They need to tell him fish fuck in the ocean. That’d get his attention.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Very good. Would you like to try for The $64,000 Question?

  • stumpknocker

    well i recon he is going to have to charter jets so he can carry his gun with him, at least he will have an excuse his base will support.

    • Covfefe

      There’s the clue. They can’t take their shooting irons on commercial flights.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    in a state where the average salary is $39,000

    For now, but once Donald’s tax cuts go into effect, the economy will surge and Alabamians will start rolling in the dough!

    …ah, I needed that good laugh…

    • OutOfOrbit

      the wage gap renders such “averages” meaningless

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Meaningless? If people earning significantly over that amount are a relatively tiny part of the state population – and that is probably the case – then their curve-breaker effect should be relatively small; i.e. the average should be fairly accurate.

        Or iz my maths not 2 hot?

        • Spurning Beer

          There is a lot of family wealth in the deep south, much of it created through the slave economy of yesteryear.

        • OutOfOrbit

          think of one group of 100 peeps.
          1 person is making $999,901 a day
          the other 99 peeps get $1 a day

          $1 x 99 peeps = $99 total pay for them
          $99 + $999,901 = $1,000,000 total pay budget
          100 peeps into $1,000,000 budget = $10,000 average pay per person

  • You have to be able to demonstrate actual thievery to be a player in the modern GOP. IF you can steal with one hand while crapping on the poors with the other, you get national office.

  • Randy Riddle

    The people who voted for him in Alabama obviously never got a good look at that alleged hair.

    • Suttree

      Or realize that they built their still out of lead.

  • MynameisBlarney

    OT: But the guys doing the Irma clean-up here are heading to Puerto Rico next.

    • cmd resistor

      They will have to cross some “big water” to get there. “Ocean water.”

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s an island you know.
        *nods*
        Ayup. Surrounded by “water” I hear.

  • Fortynslow

    As far as the debt is concerned, the devil may be in the details here. The federal disclosure form does not require you to report mortgages, credit card debt, or anything else available to the general public. The Alabama form appears to require that these types of debt be reported. Can’t speak to the honorarium issue, although the federal form allows you to exclude positions in religious entities.

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Like this is going to make any difference. He’s going to get caught. He’ll say that mistakes and misstatements were made. He’ll amend his filings and no one who can do anything about it will give a shit. Nobody is going to go to jail for any of this ever and we’re all going to be dead from North Korea nuke bombs anyhow so just fuck it.

    Sorry to be all stabby today, but goddammit, enough! This gay-hating asshole is going to end up in the US Senate.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • wait! what?

        Those eyes in the emoticons look like little bi-planes. So I thought the first one was a flying thumbs up and the second, a flying thumbs up in “V” formation.

      • Jeffery Campbell

        Oh, that’s so cute. Thank you!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      On the bright side, I really doubt NK has enough nuke bombs to get all of us, or even alot of us, other than those in one or two Unlucky Cities.

      • Bobathonic

        Nobody has shown that their missiles can carry a nuke or deliver the explodification. It’s like it’s rocket surgery or something.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          Or hit what they are aiming at… The theory of aiming is pretty easing, the actual hitting without things breaking along the way is much harder. Actually having just hit the ocean with each of their tests isn’t actually all that hard…

      • bupkus231

        What’s your definition of “a lot”?

    • Suttree

      Well fuck Alabama about sums it up. I have met some intelligent people from Huntsville, but Alabama is just happy that Mississippi is next door.

    • Spurning Beer

      Maybe we can kick him off the Alabama Supreme Court again, at least.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    In my mind I see an IRS agent on the flight deck of the starship Enterprise on its way to Alabama with his clenched fists upraised and yelling, “CONNNNNNN”.

  • Baconzgood

    “The dog ate my home work too also”

  • DerrickWildcat

    Doesn’t matter. He pisses off Liberals more than Strange. That’s what mattered.

    • Bill D. Burger

      New Con and Bagger mantra: “I don’t keer’ if I lose my healthcare, if he starts a nuclear war or if the fuckin’ economy tanks……jist’ as long as my lib neighbors suffer too!”

      • Beanz&Berryz

        They SAY they donut keer, but they go all whiney-assed, hand-out seeking, etc. at the first sign of a line forming up at the gas station… what they lack for sense and moral and political consistency, they make up for with a lack of mettle…

      • Suttree

        Close but I believe their thoughts run along the lines of “suffer more”.

      • Thiazin Red

        As long as something gets taken away from black people, they don’t care if they lose it too.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
  • Indiepalin

    Your Honor, Judge Moore is trying to turn this circus into a sideshow.

  • mardam422

    The dog ate our tax return.

  • lucidamente

    Since this means Moore wins by ten points instead of twenty, because Alabama?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Doubt it will hurt him at all. “Jist’ like ar’ Dear Leader, God’s Justice, Roy Moore’s tax returns ain’t nun’ uv’ ar’ biness’! PERIOD!”

  • arglebargle

    I think I’d be able to ball park my speaking fees for a year a bit better than $50,000 to $150,000.

    ETA: as per responses to my comment, I have never been fortunate enough to have to fill out such onerous paperwork. Or even get paid to give a speech. I gotta learn wingnut.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Those might have been preset categories.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That’s probably just a pre-set range from the form…

  • Major_Major_Major

    Has the party of personal responsibility finally gotten to the point where they now just knee jerk lie, or is the entire Trumptanic admin, Old Roy, Lumpy and crew at Fox just having coincidental, independent, and completely random lapses of reality?

    • Suttree

      Does it matter much?

    • Internet Hitler

      In Ivanka’s book instructing girls how to be grown up women she outlines how it’s just great to let people believe things that aren’t true, as long as it’s to your own advantage. Apple still connected to tree.

  • Serai 1

    Totally OT, but I sure wish we could have some alien contact movies where the aliens are FRIENDLY again. I’m tired of the hysterical wingnut reaction of OMG STRANGE ALIEN MUST KILL KILL KILL. So tiresome, but I suppose it’s only going to get worse as the country shuts all its doors and shutters all its windows and goes into fucking turtle mode.

    *sigh* I miss America.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      I miss Her too

    • wait! what?

      “Paul” does that quite nicely.

      • Bobathonic

        It was a touching moment when he resurrected that bird.

        • wait! what?

          But just a moment, lol.

      • Serai 1

        Very true, and I love that movie. But it’s an outlier. Most of the alien movies these days don’t have that attitude.

    • Thiazin Red

      Arrival was really well done, and all about learning to communicate.

      • Nockular cavity

        Yeah, it was just all the humans in the world that went “KILL KILL KILL!”

        • Thiazin Red

          True, that was part of it.

    • cmd resistor

      I liked Brother from Another Planet, but I guess now it is an old movie.

      • Longstreet63

        Or the original “Day the Earth Stood Still”.

      • Serai 1

        Yeah, that was back in 1984. (DAMN, that was a good year for movies!) It is one of the best science fiction movies made. (Please note that I did not say “sci-fi”. Difference.) Back then, Spielberg was still in his Eyes Of Wonder phase, and the attitude about visiting aliens wasn’t nearly so paranoid.

  • Suttree

    So does this mean that we get to yell at him about shit Jesus said?

  • MynameisBlarney

    Turmp’s Legacy is beginning to take shape.

    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/913800760030384131

    God damn you straight to Hell trump.

    • Daniel

      Yeah, Puerto Ricans are whining about everything. They complained they weren’t being treated like USians when no one came to help them with the hurricane relief,and now they’re complaining that they are being treated like USians by having Republicans give not a single shit they’re living on poisoned water. What the hell do they want?!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      This is what it looks like when a great Empire collapses at Free-fall speed.

      I expect civilization to join us sooner rather than later.

      • Bebecca

        Hubby said to me on the day after the election “I’m glad we’re old”.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          *nods* Eat Drink, and Be Merry. Tomorrow, the World dies.

          • Bebecca

            We all thought president trump was going to be bad but it’s worse than we could have imagined.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yes it is. *shakes head*

          • Lefty Wright

            It’s about what I expected. In fact, I thought the GOP would have repealed the ACA by now. Trump has done nothing he did not promise to do hundreds of times during the campaign. Even the things he did not promise to do, like have millionaires and billionaires as some of his top advisers, plus Jared and Ivanka, is no big surprise.

    • Serai 1

      Yes, it seems that now we are.

    • Yellerduck

      Seems like you could air drop a whole bunch of stuff from a C-17 into just about anywhere it was needed, and I’d bet there’s a few of those in easy range of Puerto Rico. A Chinook will carry a couple of tons of food as well, and you can land one on any flat spot as long as the rotors will clear. I was a ground pounder, but I was in enough joint exercises to know that the Air Force can fly in a field kitchen, have it set up and get enough food for a battalion going in about 30 minutes…maybe 45, but it was amazing how fast one could go from living off of MRE’s to crawfish etouffee once they showed up. (True story…two solid weeks of MRE’s then crawfish etouffee…with hot sauce and all the fixin’s.)

      • Longstreet63

        Those planes are busy ferrying around the cabinet.

    • John Thorstensen

      To be fair, it’s an island, surrounded by water! That makes it really hard to get anything there. /sarc

  • susan_g

    He’s wearing an alligator vest along with the cowboy hat and gun. It really completes the hillbilly jackass look.

    • exinkwretch

      Too upscale for hillbilly — more like drugstore cowboy.

    • Thiazin Red

      Needs more bolo tie.

  • Sakonyachen

    So this means he only won the primary? Not that I hold much hope of him losing an election. Is there even an opponent?

    • laughingnome

      A guy named Doug Jones who is former federal attorney.

    • Bebecca

      a Democrat and apparently a pretty upstanding guy. But all the voters will need to see is the R after Roy’s name. Maybe the DNC could throw some money into this race or will they just assume it’s a lost cause?

      • george lastrapes

        Money would sure help. Also, attitude, snark, fighting instinct.
        Democrats always bringing a knife to a gunfight? More like an etiquette book.

        • Bebecca

          That’s exactly what I think, we expect people to be upstanding and they are anything but that. They are liars and will do and say anything to win. We need to fight them at their own game.

      • Sakonyachen

        I go with lost cause, but who knows? I’m pretty over the Democratic Party and their play it safe attitude lately. Maybe they will do the opposite just to spite me and sink a few bucks and some groundwork into it. I can’t imagine Alabama Dems feel an overwhelming swell of love from the DNC.

  • wait! what?

    So there’s evil, and then there’s Roy…

    Case of D.H. vs. H.H.
    In February 2002, as Alabama Chief Justice, Moore issued a controversial opinion that expressed his belief that the State should use its powers to punish “homosexual behavior”. The case, D.H. vs. H.H., was a custody dispute where a lesbian was petitioning for custody of her children, alleging abuse by her ex-husband. A circuit court in Alabama had ruled in favor of the father, but the Alabama Court of Civil Appeals overturned that verdict 4–1, saying that substantial evidence existed of abusive behavior by the father.

    The state Supreme Court overruled the appeals court because the appeals court ignored evidence disputing abusive behavior by the father; however, Moore issued a concurring opinion concluding that a parent’s sexual orientation (in this case, homosexuality) should be a deciding factor in refusing custody:

    To disfavor practicing homosexuals in custody matters is not invidious discrimination, nor is it legislating personal morality. On the contrary, disfavoring practicing homosexuals in custody matters promotes the general welfare of the people of our State in accordance with our law, which is the duty of its public servants…

    The State carries the power of the sword, that is, the power to prohibit conduct with physical penalties, such as confinement and even execution. It must use that power to prevent the subversion of children toward this lifestyle, to not encourage a criminal lifestyle…

    Homosexual behavior is a ground for divorce, an act of sexual misconduct punishable as a crime in Alabama, a crime against nature, an inherent evil, and an act so heinous that it defies one’s ability to describe it. That is enough under the law to allow a court to consider such activity harmful to a child. To declare that homosexuality is harmful is not to make new law but to reaffirm the old; to say that it is not harmful is to experiment with people’s lives, particularly the lives of children.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      Is it true that homosexual behavior is “punishable as a crime in Alabama?” Or, was it in 2002?

      • ExecutorElassus

        “sodomy” was still a crime in a bunch of states until the laws were struck down collectively by a Supreme Court case in 2003. So it’s entirely possible that “homosexual behavior” was a crime in Alabama at the time.
        Given what a backwards shithole Alabama is, I would not be in the least bit surprised if that were the case.

      • wait! what?

        From the wiks:

        Same-sex sexual activity has been legal in Alabama since 2003, when the United States Supreme Court decision in Lawrence v. Texas struck down all state sodomy laws. The state’s sodomy law, although unenforceable, has not been repealed by the Alabama Legislature.

        Alabama has a no promo homo law, which states that “[c]ourse materials and instruction that relate to sexual education or sexually transmitted diseases should include […] an emphasis, in a factual manner and from a public health perspective, that homosexuality is not a lifestyle acceptable to the general public and that homosexual conduct is a criminal offense under the laws of the state.” (Ala. Code § 16-40A-2)

    • cmd resistor

      Wow, “an act so heinous that it defies one’s ability to describe it.” That’s pretty amazing.

      • PubOption

        I think he’s harking back to “The unspeakable vice of the Greeks”.

        • proudgrampa

          Methinks people like that are protesting too much.

          • Jesse

            Get me a picture of roy with a male prostitute in his lap and I’ll put up copies on everything/one that stands still long enough – 2 weeks before the special election.

      • Longstreet63

        I suspect, as usual, this doesn’t apply to lesbians, except in court.

      • He should talk to TLM. No problem describing it, that one

    • BrianW

      Personally, I think a lot of the state of Alabama is on the Down Low. Look at it this way: In this election, they had a chance to get some Strange, or some nut. Clearly, they went all out for the nut.

  • exinkwretch

    Judge Roy Moore — the law south of the Reality River!

    • Internet Hitler

      Can he still be called a judge if he was kicked off the bench twice?

      • exinkwretch

        It’s customary to hold that title for life — you know, likes herpes simplex.

        • Me not sure

          …or convicted felon.

    • Phried Ω

      That used to be the Tennessee, then the Ohio, but I fear now it may be the St. Lawrence.

  • george lastrapes

    To start with, never trust a man with such a baaaaad hair transplant. (See first photo.) He’s fooled himself into thinking that he’s got everybody else fooled.

  • Internet Hitler

    Inethical!
    When they say he took “speaking fees” they mean people giving him thousands of Ameros to shut up, right?

  • Bebecca

    Come on People, their usual accountant almost died! Where is your sympathy and empathy?

    • John Thorstensen

      …. and he’s the only accountant in the State of Alabama!

      • Dudleydidwrong

        And he’s the only one who can count in the state of Alabama.

  • Jgb979

    Would love to see his charitable deductions :

    As per most of these jesusly grifty liars, I’m sure it ranges between “jack” and “shit”

  • Viktor

    That hat and gun look straight out of a kids Halloween cowboy costume.

  • FML. Heh.

    • puredog

      Upfists for this thing I had not noticed. Heh.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Welcome to the New Old South. Deep fried Christo-fascist Cowboy Dumbfuckery with whopping big portions of misogyny, racism and homophobia.

    • the misogyny, racisms and homophobia is only to rile up the morans to give them more money

      • Jesse

        The morans give them votes, the elite mega rich give them monies.

  • Me not sure

    “No fair! They never told me there would be math.”
    Roy Moore

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    All budgets are lies. All tax forms are lies.

  • CeeQ

    What a surprise that the hyper moral Christianist is turning out to be a liar and a fraud. Shocking.

  • Viktor

    Is the first picture Roy’s dating website pic? He looks young in that one. Roy now uses training wheels when he rides a horse. He looks like the guy who still drives a Harley in his old age, but can’t handle the bike anymore

    • Querolous

      H-D sell a lot of trikes these days.

      • Grumpy Old Man

        Yeah, and the trailers to haul them to Sturgis once a year.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Ugh… they’ve been running a clip of Roy riding a horse during stories about the Senate seat, and I may not be the greatest rider in the universe, but I have to say he is AWFUL. His seat is atrocious and the way he leans back and saws at his poor mount’s mouth gives me sympathy pains for the horse.

      • Petunia Cat

        I THOUGHT his horse riding was poor! But I wasn’t sure if that was just me being biased by my utter hatred of him. Yeah, you’re not supposed to use the bit to *wrestle* the horse. It’s to communicate to the horse which way you want to go. 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          The sight of him juddering around in that saddle and leaning back so hard with such a long rein makes me want someone to put a bit in his mouth and saw at it so he can feel what he’s doing to his horse.

      • Freida Peeple

        To be fair…he’s used to riding side saddle.

  • Bitter Scribe

    “The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.”

    –Ralph Waldo Emerson

    • mary5920

      A favorite quotation–thanks.

      • GeraldineJStephens

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  • SKruetheratbassedarDs

    Best part of the article: the initials for the “foundation” which “employs” the missus.

  • bubbuhh

    Me! Me! Me! Kin I be Preznit next????

    • HazooToo

      I know you’re joking, but you would be a hundred thousand times better.

  • whitroth

    And an organization with that much money has ONE accountant? Hell, one of the two sf clubs I’m in, which has way under $200k in the bank, has a treasurer, but we could surely find another one if one was ill.

    Dog ate their returns….

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      There are hundreds of CPAs who could have taken over that job.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Heck, they could have gone to Costco and gotten a copy of QuickBooks and done it themselves.

        • H0mer0

          It’s not that easy; I’m still delaying completion of that task by reading wonkette. At least I did that form for my son’s counselor for his early admission application package and read through Aetna’s memo on which narcs I’m gonna have to ask “mother may I?” from a pharmacy benefit manager (they see my MD and raise me a PharmD…thanks Rush!)

  • Borost Tuber
  • Good job, Alabama. You elected yourself a grifter who has robbed you for years. And will probably gotojaildonotcollect200dollars for his grifting.

    • phoenix00

      With a big ol’ helping of fill-in-the-blank-phobia as a side dish!

  • HooverVilles
  • mary5920

    So the big suspenseful thing is whether the entire state of Alabama will elect the grafter/grifter/grater as a senator. After all, Alabama has thrown out perfectly fine people before, after a ton of fraud and voter suppression and criminal behavior (Don Siegelman)

  • How many of his precious Ten Commandments did Moore break with this little oopsie? I joked the other day that the man who has them posted in every room of his house must worry he’ll slip up and commit murder if not constantly reminded that his god is agin’ that, but maybe I was right. Hey Roy, you could probably fit 5 on the palm of each hand, and tattoos are only forbidden in Leviticus, so it’s fine!

  • Cybirr

    Took me a moment for me to realize what the FML was. It wasn’t Fuck My Life, I’m married to Moore… I must admit disappointment.

  • Sid Pevear

    He don’t know no stinking Honoraria no mater what that whore tells you, and who is that Liabilities person you think is messing with his wife and kids. Don’t make him get all 2nd amendment on him. Why, he’ll go all Alabammy on his ass!

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Oh good. Now we get to have Stupid Watergate: The Senate Edition.

  • akryan

    God, he just looks like a slimy politician in that photo.

    • JCfromNC

      I probably shouldn’t say this, but for such an evil-looking old fuck, his wife sure photographs well. She looks about 10 years younger than him.

  • Grumpy Old Man

    Just so you know – there is a 25% late filing penalty (only because 25% is the maximum late filing penalty) and .5% per month failure to pay penalty (also maxes out at 25%) but the 4% per year compounded daily on the assessed balance + both penalties. If the under-reporter unit has to contact you about a discrepancy between what you reported on your return and what was reported to them – well, I think that could be another 25% (not sure about this one cuz I never worked their department).

    If she had/has employees and did not pay their FICA – those penalties, they are nasty. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/80b5122932b4d6c2be1f962a0266e27b157adc0e09697d46e134e82c4f0cf442.gif

  • Um… y’all realize he’s been impeached and removed from the bench twice, right? The governor had to resign under a sex scandel cloud — You know I like that. I really do. And the speaker of the house was removed on corruotion charges. Do you really think THIS is going to dissuade the Alabama values voter?

  • quantum mechanic

    That first photo Jumpin’ Jesus. Dude’s face just screams “i’m wearing my wife’s panties.”

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