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Wonkloves, after almost 10 months of the shitheel in chief, we need a break! To that end, we are going to take a trip to see all y’all who live in the below cities, and will take advantage of several hours of cell holes in the Rockies and eastern Oregon and maybe southern Oregon and maybe NoCal, and there will be at least two hours at a time where we DON’T LOOK AT PRESIDENT FUCKBUCKET AT ALL!

Put these dates on your Chatgram calendar, and refer back to this post (it’s right in the sidebar!) for extra details once we get around to learning them! (USUALLY it will be parks and potlucks, because you guys can really run up a bar tab! Anyway, check back!)

Boise! We will see you Tues., Oct. 17, 6-9 p.m., at Quinn’s Lounge and restaurant, 1005 South Vista, Boise.

Eugene, Oregon! We will grill you at Armitage Park, Thurs., Oct. 19, let us call it 5-8 p.m.!

Sacramento! Sat., Oct. 21, 4-9 p.m. at East Portal Park! Your comrade Laura got us an alcohol permit! Let’s use it!

Sonoma! Oh my dear ones. Obviously, you are going through terrible hurt right now, and we very much want to come so we can kiss you on your good, kind, terrible faces. The plan is still, at this point, Sunday afternoon, Oct. 22, at the Sonoma Town Square. Clearly, this may be canceled, whether because it is no longer there, or because it would just be rude to bring ourselves to a war zone and dance on the tables like a bunch of Paris Hiltons. If we do cancel, we may or may not find an alternative in the Bay Area. This one is up in the air, JUST LIKE YOUR DAMN LIVES RIGHT NOW. We love you. Please check in in the comments.

Avila Beach! Now that we are all sad, Avila Beach (Mon., Oct. 23, probably 5-7 p.m.) is up in the air too. The Port San Luis Harbor District does not take RV reservations, so we’re not quite sure where we’ll be (map of possibilites; if we have our druthers, we’ll be in “Woodyard” on the bluffs). But we certainly hope to arrive mid-day and find a spot. We will quick update this post (and post a new one) with where to find us. (We’ll be the RV with the Kitten With A Whip on the back.) There will only be a few of you (we think!), so it will be just mellow relaxoid time.

Santa Barbara! Tues., Oct. 24. Let’s call it “sunset” and “we don’t know where yet.”

Oct 25: Thousand Oaks! We’re not having a party here. It’s just in here to remind me what day I am where. Short term memory’s shot to shit.

New stop! ORANGE COUNTY! Thurs., Oct. 26, say 7-9, drinks and appetizers at Moreno’s in Orange. Look for us on the patio!

Oct 27: Los Angeles! Friday night! Don’t know where! Maybe a Griffith Park type place!

Oct 30: San Diego! Probably Chicano Park eh?

Nov 1: Big Bear! Do we have any Big Bear/Inland Empire peeps? Do you want to barbecue with us? Hooray!

UNKNOWN DATES AND CITIES!

Las Vegas?

Springdale?

Salt Lake City?

Pocatello?

Lava Hot Springs?

Helena, Montana?

OUR HOUSE????

Okay, we have now given you the most heads-up leadtime IN HISTORY, come see us, we love you bye.

Ass, grass or gas, nobody rides for free (just kidding, we love our free-riders). Contribute to the Wonkette Ad-Free Salaries and Server Fund, today!

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  • SDGeoff3

    We are looking forward to greeting you in San Diego!

  • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

    San Diego yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • armed_bears
    • bbayliss

      Wait’ll ya hit Barstow.

    • MrTusks

      What’s that shadowy area over there?

      That Breitbart, my dear. Never go there.

  • The Wanderer

    I’m taking a week off in October for my traditional Birthday Debauch, in which I shall drink (but not overmuch), indulge in my favorite foods, try at least one new thing, and generally wallow in the fleshpits that are within driving distance.

    • Panika MCD

      if you were a true wanderer, you’d come visit us during our best weathers in TX!

      • mancityRed6

        thanksgiving?

        • Panika MCD

          well…there are lots of places to go wrong with TX thanksgivings. but, sure! just don’t splode the turkey in the deep fryer.

          • mancityRed6

            I’m more of the “anything but turkey” tradition. like pizza, or tacos. or Chinese food.

          • Panika MCD

            my family does turkey burritos the weekend after Thanksgiving. there are also many options for pizza and tacos and BBQ (Franklin’s should be open again by then) and soul food and…not so much Chinese food, but other yummy stuff.

          • mancityRed6

            crap, I have to work tomorrow.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s not October yet. also too: no bats in November. they’ll be back in Mexico.

          • Panika MCD

            did you just send me a friend request on the FacePlant?

          • mancityRed6

            yes

          • Panika MCD

            got it.

          • Panika MCD

            don’t embarrass me in front of my elected official friends.

          • mancityRed6

            yes ma’am

          • Panika MCD

            before you finish that thought: Torchy’s will have turkey tacos.

          • weighmaster

            We’ve often done leg of lamb for thanksgiving, to much praise.

      • The Wanderer

        It is sad yet true that I do not wander as far afield as I’d like to. Part of that is I’m looking after mine aged matriarch. Another part of it is I’m still working, but I retire next year and may visit bits of Texas on my way to Trinity Site in NM.

        • Panika MCD

          I did the aged matriarch thing twice. didn’t like it much. good luck to you in that endeavor!

    • mancityRed6

      wahoo! I’ll keep an ear on the police scanner.

  • mancityRed6
    • Joe Beese

      19 years later and Mrs. Beese is still complaining about my taking her to that movie.

      • Nigel R. Toppinglift, III

        She no likey the classics?

    • Christopher Story

      “We can’t stop here, this is bat country.”

  • Rick Hill

    Ot but now it’s discovered Ivanka used a personal email for gubmint bidness
    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/ivanka-trump-conducted-government-business-using-personal-email-account-report/

    • FlemmishSpy

      Mock her up!

    • OneYieldRegular

      Christ, what’s next? Soon we’ll find that the President himself has been using Twitter to conduct foreign affairs.

  • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

    Not to be critical or anything, but you Americans have strange ideas about the size of the world.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s covered in the disclaimer…

      • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

        What I was trying to say, I guess, is that it’d take at least a stop in Iowa to qualify for World Series™ greatness.

        • For some reason, Iowa thinks it should get to be first in all the things…

    • tomamitai

      It’s all Gerardus Mercator’s fault!

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        As with the GOP, that’s all projection.

        • armed_bears

          Map snark is the best snark.

          • Daniel

            I believe this is known as the Peters principle.

          • armed_bears

            My… But your continent is soooo large…

      • doktorzoom

        This looks like a job for Cartographers for Social Equality!

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH1bZ0F3zVU

        • Christopher Story

          I loved this scene as a kid

          • Serai 1

            As a KID??

          • Christopher Story

            Oops. Yeah, 10, 12

          • Serai 1

            Oh, Jesus. Remind me how old I am, why dont’cha?

          • Christopher Story

            Happens to the best of us. I turn 32 next month. My Beautiful is 11 years older than me and laughs at me whenever I bring up how old I am.

          • Maggielle

            32! I almost remember 32. All ages are good, since one doesn’t want to be dead before reaching a particular age, but being in your 30s is almost as fun as being in your 40s. Happy birthday in advance!

          • Christopher Story

            Awww… Thank you. Funny story about my name and bday: My mother named me 4 months after I was conceived and I ended up born two weeks late on Christopher Columbus Day

        • tomamitai

          Dr. Phlox!

        • Christopher Story

          “You can’t do that.”
          “Why not?”
          “Cuz it’s freaking me out.”
          – Every Trump supporters ever

        • SterWonk

          That scene never gets old. And, as was frequently the case, it was grounded in reality — there really has been a push recently to switch to less pole-centric map projections where it makes sense to do so.

    • Panika MCD

      we have weird ideas about the size of our own country also too!

    • bbayliss

      “The British think one hundred miles is a great distance, Americans think 100 years is a long span of time.”

      • Daniel

        That’s why they came up with Star Trek and we came up with Dr. Who.

    • wait! what?

      Are you trying to say it’s not flat?

    • Liquid Tomato

      Have you ever seen a pre-Columbian globe? They had the size about right, but they didn’t think there was much on the other side. There be dragons.

    • wait! what?

      It’s only because Han Solo’s burger runs only take 1 or 2 parsecs, tops.

  • FlownΩver

    Three days between LA and SD should leave you plenty of time for a detour into northeast Kansas. Just nagging.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      “It’s just a step to the right.”

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Oh, it’s a time warp all right.

    • rebecca

      lol, where in kansas you at? we go through semiregularly and stay in tornado-y rest stops!

      • Historicat

        Last time you were in Tejas we had Wendy Davis’s shoes. And after October there’s a chance we won’t all melt. Just saying.

  • whitroth

    On another blog, someone’s calling him Cheetohiro.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I like Cheetobenito. Less divine.

      • tomamitai

        Too Mexican! ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

  • rosenbomb

    Woohoo! Boise!

    My monthly whore diamond donation is finally paying off.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Damn. I sure picked a lousy time to be away from the Left Coast.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    You seem to be staying too west to get to Europe. Which is too bad; we’ve got loads of cheap wine here.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      I hear this past growing season sucked. Something about drought, or climate change or angry pixies.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        It will be a very low-yield year. Still no word on the quality. But never fear, we have other years’ stocked up.

        • wait! what?

          Eastern, but not Europe (Italy), is seeing good results with similar issues. It was 46 C in Piedmont. The Barbarescos and Barberras will be interesting.

    • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

      And we’re naked.

      Which becomes a good thing once you’ve drunk enough cheap wine.

      • Changeling

        I thought it was always a good thing?
        Wonker meeting in Europe would be something. Earmark some of my euros.

    • rebecca

      we do want to do a Europe trip when Donna’s about five. start sending money now!

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Hmm…
    *checks abacus*
    *runs calculations*
    *fiddles with slide rule*
    22nd could be doable. I have a prior commitment, or else Sac would be the easiest.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    The Great Republic of California II welcomes you home !

  • bbayliss

    have a good trip.

  • Joe Beese

    If you come into Utah from Nevada or Colorado, hide your weed.

    Just sayin’.

    • Scooby

      Booze too. I got busted once for that.

      • Joe Beese

        No drinking in Utah unless the Mormons get their cut.

        • Scooby

          Exactly, they took my booze away and directed me to the communist state owned liquor store.

        • Ωbjectifier

          When I visit friends in Moab they always say the same thing, bring Arizona beer.

          • Joe Beese

            I don’t know anything about AZ beer. But there’s good beer brewed in Utah. And the High West Distillery is highly regarded for its innovative blends of other people’s hooch.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I’ve been to their saloon in Park City- good stuff

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Polygamy Porter. Good beer.

    • rosenbomb

      Idaho has been pulling that shit too. They wait for people driving over from OR and WA.

      • Arolpin

        Hell, in the 80s Idaho used to pull people over coming from the head shop in Bend. They passed a stupid paraphernalia law and were really aggressive about it for a while. The smart kids just went to 7-11 and bought corn-cob pipes.

        • rosenbomb

          That’s ridiculous. “You can’t smoke weed if you can’t get a pipe!”

          Um, have you ever heard of an apple?

  • Lambsendbeds

    What about SF or Oakland? Pretty please with a case of wine on top?

    • rebecca

      not this time! (and you guys are the BEST AT THE PARTIES.) maybe some of your comrades would want to make the shlep to Sac or Sonoma, since they are both on the weekend!

      • Lambsendbeds

        If I can find a worker who wants to carpool I’d be up for it.

  • Ωbjectifier

    Springdale UT? Oh hells yeah! Zion NP!

    The Bit and Spur, great Mexican food.

  • Indiepalin

    Santa Fe?

    • rebecca

      no, you guys are on the way to my MOM’S, not my SISTER’S!

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Sorry for using the shitty movie version of this, but…
      http://youtu.be/tHmKaG4ZDNE

      • JMP

        It was nice to bring in the original Broadway cast – well over a decade after it was staged, so now it was a bunch of mid-30-somethings whining that they don’t want to “sell out” and get actual jobs and shouldn’t have to pay rent because they’re artists.

        I do still love the songs in that play, but the characters – really, Joanne is the only one of them who is a decent human being.

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Jesse Martin libel!

        • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

          really, Joanne is the only one of them who is a decent human being.

          Well…..other than the aptly named Angel.

  • Jenny
    • Panika MCD

      we’ll be setting up further meet-ups after this Friday’s. worry not. besides, Beto is hitting up every TX city 8 thousand times.

      • rebecca

        you guys are having a meetup Friday?????

        • Panika MCD

          just 3 of us. we’re going to the TribTalk with John Sharp on being the Hurricane Harvey Czar for the state. he’s hilarious, the Chancellor of TX A&M, a Dem and also looks like Mr. Bean.

          • rebecca

            aw how great!!!

          • Panika MCD

            there are enough of us in Central TX that I figure we could make a regular meetup. if we can get that going, maybe some of the Wonks in Dallas and on the coast would like to join us every once in a while.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Wish I could stop through when I’m in Dallas in November. Sounds pretty fun.

          • Panika MCD

            never to late to change your travel plans!

      • Major_Major_Major

        Gotta air out the heritage bikini again. Nice

      • armed_bears

        Speaking of which…. Doesn’t Beta get an ‘assist’ in Cruz’s sudden reluctance to support repeal? I think so…. Best $50 I spent this year…

        • Panika MCD

          there’s a pretty good analysis in Mother Jones of his chances, though I had to add some clarification in the comments.

    • hendenburg2

      What the heck is that from?

      • TJ Barke

        The character models look like they might be from Army of Two

        • hendenburg2

          Yeah, but in the original, only the last mission was in the US, but that was Miami. And all of the sequel took place in Shanghai. So where would this have come from?

          • TJ Barke

            The character models are cutouts, pretty sure that’s real vid.

      • SDGeoff3

        The 700 Club.

  • Panika MCD
    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      So basically the really nasty parts can go into effect, but the parts that aren’t horrid can be blocked? How nice of them.

      • Panika MCD

        basically. the TribFest talk on it was pretty brutal.

  • Joe Beese

    – About 80% of the lines that bring electricity to cities and towns were decimated by the storms, on top of the fact that all the local power lines are down. The power grid will likely need to be rebuilt from scratch. The heat index in San Juan right now is 100 degrees. 91 plus the humidity. With not even a fan. And no water pumping stations on line. Which means you can’t flush a toilet. Or get a drink. Imagine for a second being without electricity for months, as people without generators will be. Imagine being without every modern convenience and more than a few necessities.

    – Maria “wiped out about 80 percent of the crop value in Puerto Rico.” It took out dairy barns, chicken coops, and plantations. It destroyed the roads where food is transported with debris and landslides.

    – The Guajataca dam still is at risk of breaking, flooding an area where 70,000 live. Meanwhile, the streets of the cities in Puerto Rico are still flooded, days after the storm.

    – Fuel is in short supply. People line up for hours to get anything for cars or generators.

    – Hospitals can’t guarantee that they can take in more patients, let alone take care of the ones who are there. Hospitals lack enough electricity and running water, even with generators helping.

    Fox “news” personality Geraldo Rivera is from Puerto Rico, and he was able to get to the island to see how his family was doing. His assessment is stark, especially for, well, Fox: “Only an approach like the Marshall Plan that resurrected Europe in the wake of World War II can save this place known as La Isla del Encanto, the island of enchantment. Bring in the aircraft carriers; import thousands of generators. Recruit linemen from around the United States to rally to the cause of their fellow U.S. citizens. The need is dire.”

    A massive effort will need to be undertaken, and, to be fair, FEMA is there and helping, as much as it can. But there are very few places for planes to land, and the Navy could send a hospital ship to help. Mostly, the level of devastation is too huge to grapple with. And we’re talking a population roughly seven times that of New Orleans during Katrina. Right now, the White House is talking about getting a disaster aid request to Congress in the next couple of weeks. Enough time for a whole lot of people to die. Enough time for a humanitarian crisis to overtake any efforts going on now.

    http://rudepundit.blogspot.ca/2017/09/the-president-and-puerto-rico-dividing.html

    • jowgajen

      I don’t see how it’s even money that’s at issue right now. It’s the physical ability to move goods and distribute them quickly. Something the military is uniquely qualified to do.

      • Historicat

        We spend trillions of dollars to kill people not help them!

      • Maggielle

        I am sending money but I can’t be there, and if I were in the US of A armed forces, I would so want to storm the beaches of PR and help help help. This is the good side of being trained and ready for a mission. Why why why can’t we do this?

    • Ωbjectifier

      Sorry, too busy with NFL SOBs.

  • Joe Beese
    • Joe Beese

      What happened, Canada? You used to be cool.

      • hendenburg2

        Well, that’s probably an automatic thing. We’ll see if Trudeau decides to intervene.

    • OutOfOrbit

      she should write a book & get big bucks for a movie: “The best revenge is living well.”

      • Lambsendbeds

        I’m sure she will at some point.

    • Lambsendbeds

      That sucks, but jeebus Chelsea. – what’s with all the emojis? It’s a tweet, not a rebus.

      • Joe Beese

        Seven years without emojis… she’s catching up.

        • Lambsendbeds

          Seven years without eyeliner is a tragedy. Emojis, not so much.

    • jowgajen

      I really don’t agree with these laws that continue to punish anyone who has completed their sentence. She’s not under probation right?

      I can see denying Chelsea a security clearance, but denying her the basic ability to move about freely is immoral.

    • Bemused

      She’s a convicted criminal, it’s probably an auto-reject.

    • janecita
  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Still no AZ. D-listed again…

    • TJ Barke

      Well, it’s hot there…

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        not in November

        • TJ Barke

          It’s a dry cold…

          • Ωbjectifier

            That’s Flagstaff.

          • yyyaz

            Hello! And tyvm, it was 27F this morning here.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            already? That place is brutal in the winter

          • yyyaz

            Ehh, it’s 62 right now, and the winters aren’t as bad as they were when I was a kid, thanks to *fake* global warming. Just need an AWD vehicle, a down parka and 4-5 cords of firewood.

          • Ωbjectifier

            Years ago when I worked for the Park Service is was teamed up with a Hopi guy. One day he said “going to be a cold winter this year”. Thinking I might tap into some native american wisdom I asked why.

            “White man’s wood piles very big this year.”

          • yyyaz

            Gotta love it!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            it’s actually gorgeous from about October to the beginning of April. Then we taunt all the easterners and midwesterners about swimming on Christmas day or spending most of January in shorts and T-shirts

    • rebecca

      where in AZ, Zippy?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        there’s a few of us in Tucson and a few in Phoenix- the latter is more centrally located, even though Phoenix sucks. I’m sure we could find someplace in the Valley of the Sun

        • armed_bears

          Anything close to your Ikea, and I’ll/we’ll be there…

          • Ωbjectifier

            South Mountian park. ‘Bout 10 minutes to IKEA.

          • armed_bears

            Ikea: It’s a Scandinavian Death March of Savings!

        • Jeffocaster in the West

          Might moto West for that!!!!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I figured it’d be closer for you and the Flagstaff folks. And the drive up I-10 from Tucson isn’t that bad

          • rebecca

            Flagstaff is one of my VERY favorite places. we need to do another 40 trip soon.

          • Jeffocaster in the West

            Get your kicks on (FORMER) Route 66.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            we could do a Devil’s party on (former) route 666 in your state. BYOD

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            If I could figure out how to make a living there (and how to avoid the winter) I’d move in a heartbeat

  • Joe Beese
    • Lambsendbeds

      The War on Women strikes again. Fuckwads…

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      BC, abortion coverage, maternity care- it’s almost as if the GOP hates women…

      • Occupied Territory of Kavefish

        “That One Weird Trick…”

    • Shanzgood

      Because fuck the EEOC ruling in 2000 saying that policies that don’t cover it are discriminating against women.

    • Edith Prickly

      Of course it would. #weexpecthisfromshitheels

  • hendenburg2

    Aw man! I’m *supposed* to be out of the country when you’re finally stopping by San Diego! :(

    Though that *might* change depending what the orthopedist has to say about my collarbone

    Also, might I suggest Holiday Park?

    • rebecca

      what happened to your poor collarbone?

      • hendenburg2

        I was on my bike, and a driver started drifting into the bike lane, and sent me into the curb.

        • rebecca

          :/

        • HellhathnofuryDemme

          Dammit!
          I broke my shoulder, and the docs have said that the only thing that compares is a collarbone.
          Ouch!
          (I hope you are getting plenty of PT.)

          • hendenburg2

            Not yet. I can feel with my fingers that the bone has started to heal, but I don’t yet have enough mobility in shoulder joint. Plus I probably have at least another two weeks with the sling

          • HellhathnofuryDemme

            I had to “wean” myself off the sling.
            I felt so vulnerable without it, and thought it was a great warning to others.
            Take your time, (but start PT as soon as you can).

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    I think a stop in the middle of nowhere New Mexico (nominally a blue state BTW) where I have on good authority there is a wine cellar, a yurt and guest rooms and flush toilets would be a great place to stop. Make all the other wonkers work a bit to find the place and its 90 mile views one mountain of which is a sacred Navajo place. Hosts would even delay sojourn to the East for this, maybe.

    • rebecca

      oh MAN does that sound pretty! No WHERE, NM?

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        It is just East of Pie Town, NM……(where Jody heard the aliens)

        • notaten

          Quemado?

          • Jeffocaster in the West

            Quasimoto

          • notaten

            For some reason I thought you were in the Silver City area.

          • Jeffocaster in the West

            Naw, hippies……..

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            redneck hippies, though it is a fun town for visits

          • Panika MCD

            I challenge you to a redneck hippie-off.

        • rebecca

          ok, we’re definitely going there on the next one

          • jowgajen

            Pie Town definitely worth the stop. But careful, it closes for the off season. Yes, the whole town.

      • Jeffocaster in the West
  • Lambsendbeds

    Are there any Bay Area Wonketeers who would like to shlep to the meetup in Sonoma or Sacramento with me? I hate to make the drive alone. I don’t drink, so I could be the Designated Driver.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Where abouts? I could go the long way through the bay and then swing up and around back.

      • Lambsendbeds

        I’m in Oakland.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          That’s not so bad – if no one else can assist, I can swing that.

  • TJ Barke

    Why do you guys always do things on days I have a job?

    • Parakeetist

      I hate that

  • Joe Beese

    “Heh heh… I get to nuzzle Jennifer Lawrence’s boobie and you don’t.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ab4e958b9408f134fa28a7758c8469b6f63ce87938d2889d414b116ad9ed9c5.png

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Did I miss anything? Did Trump become a human being and fucking even mention Puerto Rico today?

  • Jennifer R

    Oct 21: Sacramento! Saturday night, just got paid, and we’ll be at East Portal Park! Apparently playing Bocce ball? FINE.

    HOLY SHIT I CAN TOTALLY WALK TO THIS

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      But cuties!

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah, buncha cuties maybe all at once.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          Puppy pile?

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah, especially if the various groups of people I know all get along.

    • shivaskeeper

      Priorities woman. Armpit deep in cuties or meet some Wonkers. Your call.

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah I mean it’s cuties all the way.

        • shivaskeeper

          There you go. Priority set.

          • Jennifer R

            Champing at the bit for this. Seattle is rapidly becoming the place for me the way this stuff is going.

          • shivaskeeper

            It’s a bit north of me. For a city it’s not bad, but I prefer to spend my time in the sticks.

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah I sure am gonna be in the sticks.

            the ~ladysticks~

          • shivaskeeper

            Very good.

          • shivaskeeper

            2nd reply. Also, too thank you for getting champing at the bit right. FFS, it’s not chomping people, it’s champing.

          • Jennifer R

            Stamping grounds also too.

          • shivaskeeper

            Yes. Fucking yes.

  • shastakoala

    Boise! Yay! Hoping for warm weather and finding a pretty park!

  • Serai 1

    L.A. Wonkers! If anyone’s going, can I get a ride? I don’t travel by night since I’m on foot and the bus…

  • eastcoastlib

    Oh Trixx if you come to Vegas I will hook you up so hard you’ll think you died and came back as Nancy Sinatra

    • rebecca

      that sounds promising!

  • Michael R
    • hendenburg2

      I’ve been seeing this going around today

      • BarbaraPBradbury

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !sz261d:
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      • AnnJMartin

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
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    • HooverVilles

      Yep.

  • Shanzgood

    Can’t make a side trip to Wichita? Dang.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/wonkebagohuntersthompson.jpg

    We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold.

  • Panika MCD

    OT – I fucking love Ashton.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F90ofhV8fes

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      You can’t beat “Go Fuck Yourself.” Very therapeutic.

      • Panika MCD

        he’s got really good reason to say that also too. the D Party has been much better to me than it has to him.

  • Jonny On Maui

    Makawao didn’t make the list? I has a sad…

    • janecita

      What are you doing commenting? You should be binge watching Miss. Fisher!

      • hendenburg2

        You know they are making a trio of Miss Fisher movies?

        • OutOfOrbit

          WHUT?!!!

        • janecita

          Yes! I’m so excited about it!

      • OutOfOrbit

        new episodes?!

        • janecita

          No, he hasn’t watched it yet.

          • OutOfOrbit

            oh. i been thru twice so not ready for a 3rd

          • hendenburg2

            Heh, my roommate’s thoughts when I had her watch:

            Halfway though episode one: “Interesting, but I’m not sure I like her”
            End of episode one: “Okay, I’m starting to like it”
            Towards the end of episode 2, specifically the exchange:
            Hugh Collins: Inspector Robinson expects you at the precinct in the morning to explain why you drove off with the victim’s daughter and the suspect
            Miss Fisher: I’m sure I’ll think of something
            Reaction? “This show is amazing”

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      They aren’t ready to party Makawao-style. Why, some nights, the revelry goes to 9:30 before they roll up the sidewalks, and the chickens take over.

      • janecita

        You kids and your wild parties!

      • rebecca

        for real? we honestly COULDN’T.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Sonoma! SQUEEEEE!!!!!!

    The town square there is lovely. Definitely worth the drive.

    • rebecca

      see below if you live in SF or Oakland, there are carpoolings ahoy!

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        I’m in Santa Rosa, a very easy drive to Sonoma. And Mrs. Grammarian will be there too, if her knees and her back allow it.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Does anyone know the way to San Jose?

    • Joe Beese

      Don’t forget to turn left at Albuquerque.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        There really is a Cucamonga. That tickled my mom when she found out it was a real place, because it was mentioned in the Bugs Bunny cartoons and some of the old radio comedies.
        And in Cucamonga, you will find the intersection of Rochester Ave and Jack Benny way, because some Old had a sense of humor.

    • Believe it or not, I was riding a Hound to San Jo (pronounced Ho) and the driver got lost and asked the passengers if they knew the way.

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      Follow the San Andreas Fault.

  • bongo fury

    No side trip to Philly, huh? West Coast elites!

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    Thousand Oaks! We’re not having a party here.

    Parties are not allowed in Thousand Oaks. Ventura County Superior Court has since upheld a 1983 city ordinance, which determined there is no right to party.

    • Raan

      So, it’s the town from Footloose?

      • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

        Yes, probably

      • Joe Beese

        Why, Mom, did you take me to see Footloose? Why?

        What was the draw? Did you think Kevin Bacon was hot?

        • ariel_gee_398

          John Lithgow, obviously.

    • CO

      Just go next door to Westlake village for the cougars.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        *furiously takes notes*

        Go on…

        • CO

          It’s called Bogies. Used to live nearby.

          • rebecca

            lol me too :)

          • CO

            Why’d you leave?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      there is no right to party

      I spent several summer long weekends at the Ventura County Fairgrounds in the 80’s seeing the Dead, that would say otherwise…

      • hendenburg2

        I assume that was in ’82

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I saw 83-87

      • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

        This is completely on the opposite side of the county from the fairgrounds. In the 80s, the only thing to do was cow-tipping. This was before the Reagan Library, and all its associated nightlife.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Down by the beach is the only place I’ve spent time there. I assume it’s like the rest of Ca where the further inland you go, the worse it gets

          • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

            Exactly

    • JMP

      So you’re saying that we’ve got to fight for our right to party?

  • Joe Beese
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I couldn’t get through to anyone today, so I’m assuming those phones are ringing off the hook.

  • Bananas Foster

    Eugene in the house!

  • stumpknocker

    oh well, no visit, south carolina is last in the nation again, being a liberal in south carolina is like being a live brain cell in a trump supporter, alone and in a large desert.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Some say large desert, some say swamp of goo.

      • stumpknocker

        i’m not FUCKING GOOIE!

        • ariel_gee_398

          I didn’t say you were goo. I said you were surrounded by it. Like the Ghostbusters after the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man exploded.

    • Panika MCD

      maybe she’ll do a coastal tour after hurricane season is over…it is recommended.

      • Raan

        I hope they come down here and get some Cuban sammiches.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Yeah, well, Georgia also too. [sob]

    • Christopher Story

      Hear hear.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I ain’t seen this many angry white guys since the last freeze peach rally.

  • William
    • Joe Beese

      I hate when that happens.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Something to contemplate while standing in the check-out line.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      and wait until you hear where it came from

      Sextoys “R” Us?

      • Panika MCD

        my money’s on “mother of the groom”.

      • William
        • stumpknocker

          damn those are awful small, must be for key chains

          • William

            They don’t look ‘Murican, do they?

          • Old town Urbandale

            I’m in awe that they have to wear hair nets– but not gloves– while handling the dildos.

          • William

            Well a hairy dildo would seem unnatural….and..um, let me get back to you.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            you try explaining a stray hair on your new dildo…

        • armed_bears

          Wait…. They have faces on ’em?

          • William

            Well of course….doesn’t yours?

          • armed_bears

            Wait a sec… I gotta go ask somebody.

        • FlemmishSpy

          You have to work hard to get ahead.

        • Joe Beese

          I work for a very well known online auction site. It’s a job that gives me the opportunity to talk to people selling all kinds of stuff. Sometimes that stuff is for mommies and daddies who love each other very much. And so the titles of their listings are such that I would be embarrassed speaking them aloud in an office environment.

          “So when you listed… that…”

          • William

            Here’s a fun weekend fling. Find a local flea market. Find a table with a little old lady selling stuff. Get a friend to distract her. Stories about party lines and 28 cents a gallon gas usually woks. Then sneak a couple of dildos on to her table with price tags. “$1.89 firm” is always popular, then step back and watch the fun.

          • Morrigan in Oregon

            good luck to you, William.

        • hendenburg2

          What?! Gluten-Free, Locally-Sourced, Humanely-Raised Artisan-Made Dildos or GTFO!

        • Meccalopolis

          Seems like a happy place

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Not how I pictured Disneyland at all.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          I bet the novelty and the humor wear off pretty quickly, and then it’s just another job.

        • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

          “Tough day at the orifice, dear?”

        • Gayer Than Thou

          I once subscribed to a website that provided First Amendment-protected content for the discerning gentleman *cough* hornycollegewresters dot com *cough* but it turned out there was no way to terminate the subscription other than calling them. I suspect the business model was that some discerning gentlemen would rather go to their graves than admit to being subscribers, and thus pay indefinitely. But I was broke and I needed to cut costs, so as is so often the case under those circumstances, dignity went out the window and I called. The lady I spoke to was almost certainly not a college wrestler, though she may have been horny, and I got the impression she handled these calls for any number of websites that provide First Amendment-protected content for the discerning gentleman.

          • Arolpin

            I worked for an ISP that hosted some ‘adult’ content. Mostly for big adult CDNs, but some personal kink sites too. Trying to troubleshoot a site when you know that you’re talking to the person who is prominently pictured on the front page inserting a fence post is rather distracting. And it’s even worse when the building manager walks into the office, and then writes a note to the boss that the overnight staff is looking at porn. Luckily boss knew what we hosted, and why we would be looking at it and ignored it.

          • William
        • OneYieldRegular

          Among the multitude of bizarre and sometimes sordid temp jobs I had while scrounging a living in Los Angeles a few decades ago, I worked for a couple of months packing those things into shipping boxes. In truth, after the first couple of hours, it was still just a boring warehouse shipping job, and those toys might have been any kind of widget made by any Acme Co. in the world.

        • schmannity

          When I make it big, I’ll be thinking of you.

        • MrTusks

          Uh, how many parts does a dildo have?

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Texas? Someone realized they had more than 5 and were guilty of a felony?

        • Panika MCD

          not if they’re used for educational purposes!

      • Raan

        Sinspirations.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        The Ted Cruz Lejizzlative Research™ collection?

    • notaten

      I’m reading the headlines above the main story, and I get”The Wiggles Murdered this Pearl Necklace”. This, too, I am finding intriguing.

    • Fartknocker

      Fun fact: The Fleshlight is manufactured right here in Austin, TX. I suspect the highest density of users are found at the Legislature. And the people are nice and no, I didn’t get any samples. The fun things I sometimes permit.

      • Panika MCD

        you think there are more into that than into the hookers at the La Quinta?

        also too: are you coming to the TribTalk on Friday with John, Walter and me?

    • Parakeetist

      This thread is more sex than I’ve ever had in my life.

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Someone please give SDGeoff a big ol’ hug from me in San Diego!

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I will!

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Oh, man! That’s gonna be a good get together. Tell him to hug you back real hard for me.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          For a second I thought you said have him hug my back for you and I wondered what kind of relationship that would look like.

  • Good news: The World is round.
    https://media.giphy.com/media/eNjZ4EOtVsgWA/giphy.gif

    Keep driving eventually you’ll get here

    • Arolpin

      Though given that’s a Ferrari, you’ll have to do a couple engine-out services before you make it. At least 2 of them. Probably should have them done on the ocean crossings to save time.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Eugene? Completely doable for me. Pick a spot where we can fly kites, Editrix!

    • rebecca

      you heard him, Sister! pick a spot where we can fly kites!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Fly a kite for me. I’m stuck in the mid-Atlantic for the foreseeable.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    San Antonio Spurs coach Gregg Popovich again decides to take Donnie to the woodshed.

    Popovich mentioned “childishness” and “gratuitous fear-mongering” within the recent mix of sports and politics and said he was shocked at recent comments by NASCAR owners, particularly Richard Childress, who was Dale Earnhardt’s longtime team owner, saying if anyone protests, “It’ll get you a ride on a Greyhound bus.”

    “That’s where I live,” Popovich said. “I had no idea that I lived in a country where people would actually say that sort of thing. I’m not totally naive, but I think these people have been enabled by an example that we’ve all been given. You’ve seen in Charlottesville.”

  • georgiaburning

    Gotta hit the Madonna Inn in SLO on the way to Avila. Even if just to use the bathrooms.

    • Crank Tango
      • Rebel Scum with permit

        Don’t forget the Farmers market. Do the Cal Poly students still wear watermelons on their heads?

        • Crank Tango

          I dunno! I’d say yes of course, I mean who’d stop doing that, ever?

          • CindyinEncinitas

            No reason to. Ever.

      • OutOfOrbit

        the one in the middle is mine i alreay touched it

      • georgiaburning

        Mmmmmm

      • armed_bears

        I want to go to there.

        • Crank Tango

          First time I went there, we were driving by and saw a line of people out on the sidewalk on a Sunday morning…flipped a bitch and got in line. We weren’t disappointed!

      • Jeff Ackerman

        I licked the bottom of mine

        • FlownΩver

          Of your what/whom?

          • Jeff Ackerman

            cinnamon roll!

      • Serai 1

        Damn, how long has that been there??

      • Meccalopolis

        Sinful!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        MINE! STAND BACK!

    • Serai 1

      I’ve been wanting to stay there for 30 years now.

    • rebecca

      are you going to join us???? do you know the bluff beach campground I mean???? otherwise, I can look it up.

      • georgiaburning

        Not familiar with that one. Like anyone who did time at Cal Poly or UCSB I know Pirates Cove along Bluff Road but that’s not a place to go unless you want sunburn in tender places

    • CindyinEncinitas

      And the best fruit stand, like, ever.
      http://www.avilavalleybarn.com/
      And if you want to jump in a hot tub: https://www.sycamoresprings.com/
      So gorgeous and the restaurant at the resort is incredible! Basil grapefruit sauce changed my life.

  • OutOfOrbit

    ACA LIVES!

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      For another month, anyway. At least they have to start over again, in the House.

      • armed_bears

        And that whole nagging issue of enrollments, and funding.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Susan Collins just said no to Trumpcare

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      And Rand Paul said they’re going the opposite direction if they’re trying to get him on-board.

      • Juan de Fuca

        “The Bring Out Yer Dead Act or GTFO.”

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        “Yeah! Where are the federal funds for those No Country For Old Men pneumatic captive airbolt er, health solutions for the low income people of my state??!”

    • bbayliss

      Cassidy: If We Can’t Win Over Susan Collins, My Repeal Bill Is Dead

      http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/cassidy-cant-win-over-collins-repeal-bill-dead

  • Bill D. Burger

    Susan Collins just announced “NO” on Graham/Cassidy

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Phew!

  • Hooray for a Sacramento visit! Thank you for not doing the usual “Eh, they’re close enough to just drive out to SF if they really care” thing! :D

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      That’s a nasty drive.

      • Yeah, definitely not my favorite. I don’t know how some people do that (or similar) as their daily commute – I think I’d last two weeks, max.

        • JMP

          Doing that drive about once every two months, because the rest of the girlfriend’s family and most of her friends are there, is painful enough, and she’s usually the one to do the actual driving. That route sucks.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Then there’s the folks who commute to the Silicon Valley from Los Banos or Merced so they can afford a home.

          • h4rr4r

            Might as well live in your car, you will be with that commute.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        That made me thank god I didn’t want to be a veterinarian. UC Davis is not in a good place.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Hooray! It’s like we’re a real city! We’re having guests!

      I’ll dust the capitol, you want to vacuum the freeways? Should we bake a cake??

      • rebecca

        WE DEMAND A CAKE.

      • Do you think they’ll want to do any of the touristy Gold Rush stuff, or just relax? Should we get someone to windex Old Town? I haven’t been to Sutter’s Fort in ten years – is it still there? Do we need to rebuild it?!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Antonin Dvorak

      When Palpatine thinks you’ve gone too far…

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        Universal healthcare for stormtroopers is awfully easy when none of them survive their first mission.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Unfortunately after the CBO score came back they had to cut the budget for target practice.

        • Thiazin Red

          Think of all the money the Empire would have saved if they didn’t put that decorative armor on the storm troopers. Its not like it was functional against anything.

    • Three Finger Salute

      We would never do anything without approval of the Senate. (And now we have to work with Democrats! NOOOOOO! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!) -Turtle

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Oh goddamn it come to the East Coast already! Baltimore. You guys can stay at my house, no kiddin.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Another local commenter! Who else lives nearby (since it seems we have a pretty big group here)?

      Wonket should at least do DC, because obvs.

    • Doug Langley

      And please drive through Columbus.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Joe Beese
    • Panika MCD

      Rand Paul already said what he’d prefer–which is more than the rest of his party has done this whole time. he’s not likely to change his vote.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      A luck would have it, breaking Rand Paul’s thumbs was just inserted into the new bill!

      • mancityRed6

        Yay!

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      And I just pictured Yurtle threatening someone.

      Then I laughed until I peed.

      • Raan

        “Do I look like I can intimidate a jury?! I couldn’t intimidate a child, and believe me, I’ve tried.”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Can we break his thumbs anyway…just for the lolz?

      • Joe Beese

        With votes.

    • mancityRed6

      the month isn’t over yet.

    • Panika MCD

      also too: am I the only one who was a little weirded out to sorta kinda agree with Rand Paul about expanding ERISA plans?

    • Raan

      I see what they did wrong here. First, everything. They did everything wrong. But second, they tried to bribe someone who’s smart enough to know that her constituents are smart enough to know that she was bribed.

      That’s the wrong person to bribe.

  • stumpknocker

    breaking news, Susan Collins says she is a no vote, grahm cassidy is stone cold fucking dead.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Like its victims would have been! Woohoo!

    • Christopher Story

      I’m not gonna rest till October 1st and even then, I’ll be like the old man at the end of Jeepers Creepers 2 https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/370c340e4c89045d075166b4fde67d6f3225e4854fdcf57d850ca6501b5c1006.jpg

    • jesterpunk

      Someone needs to burn the bones then salt the earth to keep it from coming back.

      • mancityRed6

        burn it down, piss on the ashes and then the salt.

        • Raan

          And then steel reinforced concrete.

          About ten feet of it.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I hate when horror movies have one sequel too many. It kind of spoils all of what came before.

    • Christopher Story

      Nuke it from space. It’s the only way to be sure.

    • Raan

      Now the gamble is, are they willing to risk taking away people’s health care two months before an election? How many will risk their own hides in a highly visible fight during campaign season?

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Quick! Make some more noise about Colin Kaepernick to distract the rubes!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So the Pope is being accused of heresy by Conservative Cat’licks!
    No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Get the comfy chair!

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/25/world/pope-heresy/index.html

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Isn’t questioning the infallibility of the pope its own kind of heresy? These guys must be super conflicted!

      • jesterpunk

        Who does the pope think he is anyway?

        (Just watch the whole thing because its funny)

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNiqpBNE9ik

      • h4rr4r

        The pope is not always infallible. There are specific conditions for him to be considered infallible.

        However I do strongly encourage him to excommunicate these morans.

    • jesterpunk

      Lumpy criticized the Pope last year for saying Trump isnt catholic.

    • mancityRed6

      and they want to go back to Latin, again?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I’m pretty sure these guys secretly want to kill what’s left of the Church.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Or at least what’s left in the church.

        • FlownΩver

          Buttload of assets to be divided up among the few remaining communicants. Not a bad strategy, really

    • mackafritz

      Any mass not done in Latin, is heresy.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      Conservative cat’licks are trying to cover for the pedophile priests.

    • Yeah, I’ve been seeing rumblings about the “h-word” for a few months now – it’s distressing how many Catholics seem A-Okay with the Pharisee Playbook.

      I see their “heresy” and raise them “apostasy,” which usually shuts them up for a while.

    • The Wanderer

      There was a conservative splinter group that opposed John Paul II. They want to scrap Vatican II and go back to Mass in Latin, among other things.

    • Bemused

      It’s been going on for a while. The Rad-Trads and the SSPX are annoying.

      It is vaguely amusing, though, to see all the people who told me I was going to hell for disagreeing with the Pope suddenly disagreeing with the Pope.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • jesterpunk

    Looks like Lil Kim launched another bomb.

    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/jSFK08AODaA/hqdefault.jpg

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      That one won’t get far.

      Edit: Unless fueled by a Big Mac.

      • Raan

        Too big of a payload.

    • Panika MCD

      so now “Rocket Man” refers to Christopher Christmas?

    • Juan de Fuca

      That guy really is a reckless dipshit. Can you imagine the devastation that would cause if it landed on Japan?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Man…That must be, at the least, the F-1 high thrust single-chamber, single-nozzle liquid fuel engine. Only thing with a chance to get a fucking payload that size off the ground.

      • Doug Langley

        Either that or the biggest bottle rocket I’ve ever seen.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        You don’t think one of Christie’s farts could do it?

    • georgiaburning

      Kim chi that’s a bit too old

    • William
  • Thiazin Red

    I’ve had that stupid terry folds Rick and Morty song in my head all day. Its barely even a song.

    • TJ Barke

      Grab my terry flaps!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    This seems open thready- yes? Senator Collins just came out as No, although McCain and Randy are making “we have to see the new stuff” noises. It’s not over til the fat idiot* gets pushed over a cliff (with votes).

    *pick your fat idiot

    • CindyinEncinitas

      It’s not over until Paulie puts lye in Eddie’s coffee.

    • rebecca

      (yes open thread)

  • William
  • CindyinEncinitas

    That was nice and I’ll be there and I hope that guy is there who gave us the tour, whatever his name was. Roni? You in? Juan? SDGeoff?

    • Juan de Fuca

      I’m considering San Diego or Griffin Park. Only because I’m probably going to be in LA that weekend already and I love Griffin Park. But regardless, I’d still like to hook up at that pizza joint you mentioned a few months ago.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Juan, do us a favor and come to the San Diego one.

    • rebecca

      girl, they were the first commenters!

      • CindyinEncinitas

        I had no idea. This is going to be epic.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Soooo… Twitter storm tonight ?

    • Bill D. Burger
      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        I hear the shitstorm surge might be up to 26 feet tweet high!!

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      About the NFL? Sure.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        I was thinking about “Senator so and so let down the american people” or “Republicans have been promising repeal and replace for 250 years, yadda, yadda, yadda…” but you’re right, maybe it will be the NFL again.

    • TJ Barke

      100% chance of petty whining.

  • Doug Langley

    Pretty uneventful day at work. Did my best to avoid talking with boss. Pretty much worked. But. For some inexplicable reason, she suddenly thought I was collapsing of heatstroke. “If you’re as hot as you look, you need more water. And get in front of the fan.” Well, no, I wasn’t hot. My knees hurt, my back hurts, I’m stressed out wondering what crazy thing will pop out next, but no, not hot. Still, if boss orders me to take it easy, hey, I’ll comply. Then she came back later and ordered me to file in the next room “where it’s cooler”. It’s a mystery to me.

    • Raan

      Sounds like a CYA move to me.

  • Weird Fishes

    Susan Collins appears to have killed the latest repeal attempt: Health Bill Appears Dead as Pivotal G.O.P. Senator Declares Opposition https://nyti.ms/2k0J2oG

    • Anna Rompage

      I’m wondering how many people will jump on the ‘No’ train, now that there are already 3 down…

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        All the Randian putrescence who don’t think it’s cruel enough.

      • shivaskeeper

        Just the three. McCain is out if he even finishes his term. Murkowski and Collins are probably safe. The rest need to be worried about being primaried from further right.

      • FlownΩver

        Depends. The big push now will be on McTurtle to keep it off the floor.

    • FlownΩver

      Ding Fucking Dong!!1!11!1!

      [Unintentional Anthony Wiener reference is unintentional]

    • mackafritz

      As the great philosopher Yogi Berra said, “It ain’t over til it’s over.”

      • Weird Fishes

        I know. The first thing I did was see how many days were left till midnight, October 1.

        • bupkus231

          Hell – a few minutes before I heard that Sen Collins has come out with a “No”, I read a piece that reported/speculated that Cassidy will push to continue this health care/reconciliation bill nonsense into the FY2018 budget.

          • Weird Fishes

            Are you surprised? I’m not. That said it continues to hold up the rest of Maximum Cheeto’s agenda, which is no bad thing.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’ma have a Wonkette party in Tucson all by myself and none of you assholes are invited.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Will you have blackjack and hookers?

      • Weird Fishes

        I don’t think they’re trying to attract too many Republicans.

    • mancityRed6

      fine. I’ll have my own in Kansas. with D&D and local brews.

      • FlownΩver

        Free State Ad Astra Ale FTW!

        • mancityRed6

          I need to keep an eye out for the bitter they do every year.

    • Doug Langley

      So your plans are what . . . ?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQGwrK_yDEg

    • Weird Fishes

      Operation Righteous Indignation!

    • grindstone

      I think we Floridiots might have to have our own meet, too.

  • armed_bears
  • Panika MCD

    pretty good analysis by Mother Jones with the following additions from yr Panika.

    http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2017/09/beto-orourke-democrats-texas-ted-cruz/

    1) BGTX went out of its way to insult Texans. they were an absolute horror show to their volunteers and they pocketed most of that $10 million. they shoved a gun into Wendy’s hands for a photo-op at a fundraising dinner before primary voting had even started. they didn’t care much that the voting disparity among women in the state was worse than voting among minorities (because I guess they can’t walk and try to get out two groups of voters at the same time). Jenn Brown ducked out of all but one of the meetings post 2014 elections because Harris Co. Dems had hurt her feelings and all of the 2012 gains in OH were in counties which Austinite Laura Derrick worked.

    2) we still have a taco truck armada which was helpful in registering voters last year. maybe even more so this year.

    3) county commissioner races in TX are partisan. city council and school board aren’t. even judicial seats are partisan, but the judicial ethics laws are so strict that about all they can say in support of other Dems is, “it’s so nice to share the ballot with so many other talented Democrats!” Tax Assessor-Collectors are the county voter registrars as well, so it’s not a small office. if Dems get their hands on the Harris County Clerk–which is also the elections administrator–next year, we’ll then really be talking about TX being a player at the national level.

    4) maybe Mark Cuban could set his sights a little lower and run for Gov. I’d personally like to see Ray Benson run for Lt. Gov. because Dan Patrick really hates getting beaten by Jewish people so it’d be extra funny. or Charles Butt could run. that’s a possible. I mean, he’s about the only person more popular than Gov. Wheels after Harvey.

    5) Charles Butt donates to candidates and efforts in both parties. he also funds Raise Your Hand Texas–a group that lobbies for better public school funding as well as training teachers and administrators.
    http://www.opensecrets.org/search?q=charles+butt&type=donors

    6) if Drew Brees could cease shooting his mother in the foot, maybe she could run for SCOT.

    7) the deep-red Panhandle of the state sees snow every year–ambitious Dems? much less.

    8) we still have yet to figure out a way to harness the powers of the Guadalupe Bass. maybe this will be the year.

    9) if Texas Association of Business and the coalition they built around KeepTXOpen and TX Competes get serious about supporting candidates that are not always Republicans, this might actually be doable. we’ll see what happens after December 11.

    10) I’m all for handing out tampon guns.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Unveiled today: A billboard next to the Bay Bridge toll plaza calls for President Trump’s impeachment. (Sept. 25, 2017)
    Photo credit: NBC Bay Area

    https://media.nbcbayarea.com/images/620*349/9-25-17-impeach-trump-billboard.jpg

  • Karen Shocket

    Can you work in a PA tour? Pretty please?

  • stumpknocker

    donald trump blocked this woman from his twitter account, i have no words to describe the depths of his depravity.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQuur-WxWVE

    • Bill D. Burger

      It’s beyond repugnant. She wasn’t rude or obscene at all (*Confession: I have been and they haven’t blocked me yet.). She politely asked why he was doing what he was doing. She persisted and they responded by blocking her.
      They couldn’t face up to the truth about the consequences of their actions and the death sentence they want to impose on people, our brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, sons and daughters….just like her.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Amen!

  • Marsupial99

    Big Bear?!? Come to Temecula, 60 miles north of San Diego. We have wineries & casino gambling!!

    • Juan de Fuca

      Another Temecula Wonker! Yea!!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • TJ Barke

      Lulz.

      • Bill D. Burger

        I waiting on the New York Times’ sirens and full page spread.

        bwwwahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          What?! The NYT going Full Drudge?

          • Major_Major_Major

            Don’t never go full drudge, son. Ain’tnt nobody comes back from that.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      This should be good.

    • Alan

      Oh good. Maybe Mr. Gowdy will have a few dozen investigations.

  • Joe Beese
    • Thiazin Red

      I 100% believe that Kelly agrees with him. Sure thats the ticket.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Kelly is not immune from being a full of shit scumbag.

        • mackafritz

          He works for the dotard, therefore he is.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I could care less whether Surrogate Daddy agrees with him or not.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      So, is Kelly day-drinking?

      • Alan

        Opioids.

    • TJ Barke

      Freedom, how does it work? Donald doesn’t know…

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      Uh, Puerto Rico doesn’t have power and people are without water and food. Wanna pay attention to what’s important? ASSHOLE FUCKFACE.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Shut up, Donnie. Your’e out of your league, as usual.

      Mental dotard.

    • mackafritz

      Wiping your ass with the flag is disrespecting the flag. Kneeling for the national anthem is exercising your rights, and is everything the flag stands for.

    • OrG

      Whiny little titty baby.

    • mancityRed6

      that’s the equivalent of a 3 year old trying to blow out their birthday candles.

    • Christopher Story
      • H0mer0

        [I can still hear his voice saying that]

    • Panika MCD

      he really does have some penis envy going on, doesn’t he?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        He totally could throw a football over those mountains, yessir.

        • Panika MCD

          which mountains?

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            All the mountains!

          • Panika MCD

            he couldn’t even toss a football over a pair of boobyknockers.

    • Anna Rompage

      I see Donad has a hard time understanding sarcasm…

      Yeah DOnald, the NFL protests are the most pressing thing right now and it’s just a travesty what they’re doing…

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      No mention of the 3+ million citizens of Puerto Rico.

    • Joe Beese
      • Panika MCD

        McDonalds! quit disrespecting the flag!

      • mackafritz

        Nothing is more important than sportsballers disrespecting the flag.

        • OrG

          Except they’re NOT.

      • Raan

        Wait, do gas stations in Puerto Rico have McDonalds’ in them?

        Mainland US better step up its game.

        • Bemused

          A fair number of our highway-adjacent gas stations out on the left coast have fast food restaurants in them.

          • Raan

            Well, East coast needs to step up its game then. The closest we have over here is occasional stations that have sub shops or something like Wawa that makes their own sandwiches.

    • Christopher Story

      I wonder how much longer Kelly will stay now that Donnie is using him as a political prop

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Kelly abandoned any vestiges of dignity a long time ago.

        • OrG

          Part of the job description.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            “Are you an ambitious achiever with high self-esteem? Go look for another job then, loser! The White House is no place for you.”

        • Christopher Story

          I still hold out hope that it’s a grand act of self-sacrifice in the service of America. That he’s sitting there quietly protecting/guarding/hiding the nuclear football for the good of us all.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            At this point, I’m thinking he has daddy issues and somehow enjoys being publicly humiliated.

          • Meccalopolis

            My assessment as well

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      When he asked for Twitter, someone should have told him he’d shoot his eye out.

    • Raan

      I’m willing to bet Kelly just brushed him off with a “yeah, sure, whatever” and went back to trying to whip votes for this repeal or coming up with a coherent response to North Korea.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Dad said you guys suck and if he has to pull this car over nobody is going to Dairy Queen.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Thiazin Red

      My cat licks his butthole just like the middle ages cat. I thought he was just a moron who couldn’t figure out how to clean his butthole correctly.

    • Joe Beese

      My JoJo’s meow sounds more like a quack.

      I tease her that the gaps in her DNA sequence were completed with duck DNA.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Ooooooh, I bet that really chaps her ass.

      • Thiazin Red

        One of mine can only manage a proper meow when hes really impatient with me. Say its slightly later than the time I normally feed them, or i promised him we could go outside after lunch but I’m still eating.

        • H0mer0

          why do they want us to go outside with them?

    • Moebym of the Returners

      I don’t think my cat knows how to hiss.

    • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

      That tapestry has never been around a real cat, or it would have been torn to shreds.

  • aureolaborealis

    “Wow! I’ve never ridden in a convertible before!!!”

    • mancityRed6

      well, get in

  • CO
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Join the club Iran.

      -Sweden

    • jesterpunk

      So he is going to make up reasons to attack a country, where have we heard that one before?

  • Panika MCD

    thanks Bz&Bz and w!w? for helping me with that submission.

  • Thiazin Red

    Still playing Witcher 3, and I’m wondering if it was a mistake by the writers to put all of the Yennifer stuff so far into it. By the time I’m going to meet up with her again, I’ll have spent several missions and quite a while getting to know Triss. I do like her, but that backstory is pretty hard to ignore.

    Everyone also keeps telling me what a bitch Yen is before I’ve even had a chance to interact with her. But at the same time I get the impression that the writers really want people to choose her, and really play up the epic love aspect.

    • hendenburg2

      http://memes.ucoz.com/_nw/1/47692223.jpg

      JK. That’s terrible advice.

      I went with Triss in playthrough 1, then with Yen in the NG+ mode. Upside to Yen is that you get two funtimes scenes

    • mancityRed6

      it’s one of the nice things about Fallout 4. you have a chance to romance all your possible companions.

      • hendenburg2

        Even Codsworth?

        • mancityRed6

          I actually haven’t used Codsworth yet, and I’m not sure about Strong or X6-88. but Curie and Nick go for it, so why not?

          • hendenburg2

            If you get the Robot Workshop, you can turn Codsworth into a Sentry Bot with a skull head. It’s really funny.

      • Thiazin Red

        I liked the Dragon age Inquisition model, or Mass Effect, where the characters had a range of preferences.

        • mancityRed6

          there are actions you can do that make them not like you, but if you do what they like enough, you get a special perk. and the chance to flirt.
          that didn’t happen with the fem Shep.

          • Thiazin Red

            I still haven’t played any of the fallout games.

          • mancityRed6

            do 3. new vegas is buggy and people complain about the dialogue options in 4, but I like all three.
            3 is best, though

          • Thiazin Red

            I’ve heard good things about 3. I wonder if the complete edition of NV ironed out the bugs.

          • mancityRed6

            the addons were worse, to be honest.
            and I never got a handle on the different ammunition thing. it’s still fun, though.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • grindstone

      That composition is so skeevy.

  • Christopher Story

    Now Disqus, there’s a real Son of a bitch

    • Panika MCD

      I blame the fleas what WT had in his stolen facial hair.

    • Thiazin Red

      Adding gifs is fucked up for me today. And the message it gives you about being able to drag images is a complete bullshit lie.

      • Panika MCD

        do what mancity told me to do about the “too many memes, Bill” question: at the top, right under your name, you can choose to hide the media. now I get to see what I want.

      • tehbaddr

        Drag a gif? Ha, how pedestrian, when you can do 2 key combos and place it there nearly instantaneously, except in disqus.

  • Joe Beese
    • Thiazin Red

      I could see that as one of the asides that you see in school textbooks in the future.

      • OneYieldRegular

        I want to write one of those textbooks; I would never run out of material.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    YES!!! From WaPo’s home page (more when I read it in a moment):

    Senate GOP admits defeat on health-care bill as Collins declares opposition

    Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) announced her decision after a preliminary projection from the Congressional Budget Office said “millions” fewer Americans would have insurance coverage by 2026 under the Cassidy-Graham proposal. In a statement, Collins said the analysis “confirms that this bill will have a substantially negative impact on the number of people covered by insurance.” GOP Sens. Rand Paul (Ky.) and John McCain (Ariz.) had already come out against the bill.

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Joe Beese

      This is simply not the way that we should be approaching an important and complex issue that must be handled thoughtfully and fairly for all Americans.

      She just noticed that now?

      • Panika MCD

        I think she’s noticed that all the times she’s voted against it.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      So Murkowski didn’t come out against? Does that mean she essential took that bribe Graham offered her?

      • Joe Beese

        Now that the bill is dead, she doesn’t have to go on record either way.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        There’s a strong tradition of grift in Alaska.

        • Panika MCD

          that’s more her dad’s flavor. she’s a whole lot better for AK than he ever was.

      • Panika MCD

        she didn’t last time. but now we’ll never know!

  • Joe Beese

    Translation: Where’s our bribe?

    The other two declared no votes on the bill, Sens. Rand Paul (R-KY) and John McCain (R-AZ), reiterated their opposition on Monday night, both calling the revisions made to the bill to send extra money to the states of senators who remain on the fence “unseemly.”

    • Panika MCD

      Rand Paul wants ERISA plans. John McCain has seen the light now that he has glioblastoma.

    • Rick Hill

      What happens in the back room should stay in the back room

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Give us the details on the good news, WaPo link:

    BREAKING: Senate GOP leaders admitted defeat late Monday afternoon in their latest attempt to undo the Affordable Care Act, as a third Republican lawmaker said she would not support the legislation.

    Senate Finance Committee Chairman Orrin G. Hatch (R-Utah) told reporters that he did not think the measure would come up for a floor vote by the end of the week, after which point Republicans lose the budget authority they need to pass a health-care bill by a simple majority. A short time later, Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) announced her opposition.

    Collins’s decision followed a preliminary projection from the Congressional Budget Office that said “millions” fewer Americans would have insurance coverage by 2026 under the Cassidy-Graham proposal. In a statement, Collins said the analysis “confirms that this bill will have a substantially negative impact on the number of people covered by insurance.”

    tl;dr: suck it, Donald!

    • Panika MCD

      something tells me that she wasn’t only the third.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Heard about it on my way home from work. First time in a long time I’ve actually yelled “Yeeeeeessssss!!!” In the car.

    • BearLeft

      In a year with precious little to cheer, hallefuckinlujah!

    • TJ Barke

      Here’s a tip, republitards, actually write a bill that people want.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    OT: 1984, Donald Trump has always been THIS Donald Trump

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKlVpfyVwAAmNS1.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      Back then, computer printers that did lowercase were expensive.

  • Joe Beese

    Dead Breitbart doesn’t have a new Collins post yet, but this comment from an old one is a delicious taste of the tears to come.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4599d61940d19c5c6eaed27d7e0e3399e2f640cd5e9c09d39cec5e97c0c577e2.png

  • CO
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Dude did three tours in Afghanistan. He can stand for the anthem if he wants. That’s kind of the whole point.

      • CO

        I agree. I just found it interesting what he had to say.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Absolutely. My comment wasn’t a quibble with you. I kinda feel bad for the guy, that Trump put him in the fucking position of having to choose.

      • Panika MCD

        I agree. he’s still not a team player on the Steelers.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Do you know that for a fact? I thought the one of the big ideas behind the protests was to deal with differences of opinion respectfully.

          • Panika MCD

            is a joke. I’m sure he plays just fine or he’d be out of a job. and if his teammates refused to play with him, it’d be just as bad as someone getting fired for kneeling.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Of course, all the assholes rushing out to buy his jersey have no idea that he actually has thoughtful and nuanced feelings about this issue.

          • Panika MCD

            are they allowed to have that? I mean, according to POTUS, they should get their CTE and like it. according to POTUS, they are supposed to want CTE.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            He likes them brain-damaged and servile on the plantation.

          • Panika MCD

            he knows Mar-a-Shithole is not a plantation, right?

          • CindyinEncinitas

            I wonder how POTUS got his?

    • Thiazin Red

      Headline makes him sound like a massive dick, the article is a lot better.

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      “Roethlisberger said Monday that he wished the team had been on the field during the anthem.”

      I wish Roethlisberger would stop raping people.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I never liked him anyway but ever since that I call him Ruthlessweiner.

    • Panika MCD

      really just made you look like you weren’t a team player.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I think that’s part of the problem – we’ve all been taught to be a team player since early on and he’s justifiably struggling with the nuance of what that means. I support what he did even though I personally disagree with it because I would’ve loved to see unity in standing up against Trump, but that’s not how he saw it at the time. It’s something he needs to figure out for himself but nothing he did was offensive. The only thing he did was stand for his personal beliefs and good on him for that.

        • Panika MCD

          he’s a man of two teams. that doesn’t mean he doesn’t respect and love them both.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Decent members of Steeler Nation appreciate Alejandro for his service, in the armed forces and for us…

      https://usatsteelerswire.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/tomlin-celebrates.gif?w=1000

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Yeah. He’s been a stand-up guy. It’s the run defense that should be apologizing.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      seriously misleading headline- the real one at the Hill is completely different in meaning

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    So, an elitist left coast tour. Figures.

  • Ezio
  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Always wonderful to see a true idiot get his just desserts. Look at the comments:

    https://twitter.com/tommet01/status/912282446783291392

    • Panika MCD

      that was really satisfying.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        I thought so.

      • Lord Jim

        I need a cigarette.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That was glorious.

      • H0mer0

        (I don’t get it. Kander served)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          If you open the twitter link on a new tab, you can see the responses to good ol’ Tom. They were not exactly positive.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            he’s getting deservedly pounded

          • WomanInThePersistence

            With words and gifs. Which is even better.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Yeah, the guy didn’t bother to check before he posted.

        • Panika MCD
    • Lord Jim

      “EPIC FAIL” doesn’t begin to cover that.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      From a tiny derpcorn a mighty facepalm grows!

      • Lord Jim

        Nice one.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Never forget that maybe as many as 49 sitting Republican senators* would serve up this shit banquet if they could.

    *I’m hoping Murkowski will make it 48.

  • Joe Beese

    The White House press secretary on Monday brushed aside reports that members of the Trump administration had used private email accounts to conduct government business, saying personal email use was “very limited” overall.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/sarah-huckabee-sanders-limited-use-private-email-kushner-ivanka-trump

    • Lock them up!

    • Panika MCD

      “we only have 30 thousand emails missing per person. HRC had 33 thousand! check. mate.”

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      “I barely know Mr. E. Male – I haven’t spoken to him in a long time, but I know him. He was with the campaign, as you know, for a very short period of time, relatively short period of time.”

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Las Vegas would be cool, because then I can attend.

  • tehbaddr

    West coast elitists!

  • Ezio

    OT: Speaking of which, this morning when I logged into Facebook one of my FB friends, who is black and a military veteran, shared a story where he mentioned how someone came to his place of work talking about how “if those NFL players don’t like it here maybe they should leave this country! They’re disrespecting those who served our country!” and then he responded with “I didn’t feel disrespected one bit” and left the other guy totally speechless.

  • ahughes798

    I’d be down for a party at your house, Editrix. Not because I’m a stalker, but because my niece doesn’t live far from you. Well, at least she’s in the same state. We’d bring potluck. Potluck is my favorite type of meal….all that variety and such.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      It’s a big state…

      • ahughes798

        I know. There are worse states to be in. I’ve always wanted to drive across the country, anyway.

    • Panika MCD

      on of my first memories is my mother taking me to a potluck and telling me I could have anything on the table. I took the bowl of guacamole and sat under the table eating it with my fingers.

  • Juan de Fuca

    You have to love some of the customer service reps up in Los Angeles. I’m finally moving Miss De Fuca to the “big city” tomorrow for school and I called a furniture company in downtown LA to make sure the bed we ordered online will be ready for pickup:

    Me: “I’m calling to make sure the bed I ordered last week is still available because I was supposed to pick it up yesterday and won’t be there until tomorrow (provides order number)”

    Her: “Okay, lemme check, hold please….yes, it’s ready for pickup and we hold it for three days so you’ll be fine if you pick it up tomorrow.”

    Me: “Great. I’ll pick it up tomorrow. Thanks.”

    Her: “Yup, I’m cool. Later.”

    Me after she hung up: “Were we separated at birth?”

    • Doug Langley

      But whatever you do, don’t say “mattress” to Mr Lambert.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      A kid at a store called me dude the other day. I was happy.

  • Rick Hill

    This just never gets the attention it deserves:
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aL8G1x6_700b.jpg

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Where is Like Such As? I don’t see it here.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        And The Eye-Rack?

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Is Nambia the one in green?

  • Gosala

    No love for Florida, eh?

    Never mind, doesn’t matter. It’s not like we’ve suffered this last little while. We don’t need need a morale boost.

    • Panika MCD

      if I were her, I’d say, “maybe after hurricane season is over?”

      • Gosala

        No hurricane would dare fuck with Editrix!!1!

        [Was that obsequious enough? ]

        • WomanInThePersistence

          It was a valiant effort.

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      Having done the FLL-SEA drive a few times and a few different paths, gotta say i can understand not going east of the Rockies. KY to the general area of WonketteBase is a LOOOONG drive.

      Did FLL to Salmon, ID this summer in three days. WHEEEEEE!!!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • OutOfOrbit

      those arrested may face trial and prison, like the lady laughing at Sessions, they (the gop) ain’t gonna take it no moe

      • Christopher Story

        Have they forgotten what it means to be an American? That shit doesn’t scare us, it just pisses us off.

    • mackafritz

      If their ideas were so wonderful, they wouldn’t need all this protection.

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

      It should be a criminal-rich environment if there are GOP senators or congressmen there.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Panika MCD

      “I is both sheep and dawg, dawg! I in my element!”

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I sent that to all my peeps this morning!

    • Joe Beese

      When the Beese family visited New Zealand in the late 70s, a bit of local color was the televised sheepdog competition.

      The announcer was as into it as a Spanish futbol commentator. “And now the pressure’s on the sheep!” he cried.

      I thought my father might die from laughing from so hard.

      (Miss you, Dad.)

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      That’ll do, pig.

  • tehbaddr

    Hey, is this our open thread? I took a quick gander at the posts, and see it’s the same dumb fuckery we’ve been seeing for months! Don’t these throwbacks have any new game?

    • Panika MCD

      who, the trolls?

      • tehbaddr

        Uh, mainly Drunpf and the Rethiglicans.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Um, snark? New/old trolls?

    • mackafritz

      We’re stuck in a Groundhog Day loop.

      • tehbaddr

        Haven’t the Rethguglicans been taking up votes to repeal Obamacare for like 8 years now? Maybe they should try something different, to get out of the loop!

  • tegrat

    Great News! See ya’ll in sunny SB! What venue do you have in mind?

  • Weird Fishes

    When are you coming to tne Northeastttttt

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • DrBigHead

      If Kelly truly believes this, then he misses the whole fucking point of that “freedom” thing that they all claim to have fought for.

    • TJ Barke

      Who gives a flying fuck what he says? What does the fucking constitution say?

      • CindyinEncinitas

        About football? Um, that intentional grounding needs to be strictly enforced, as I recall.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Fucking hell, it’s like a child throwing a twitter tantrum.

  • roberteye

    El LAY?? Love to see you guys!

  • Elvis Causticfellow
    • tehbaddr

      No, no! It’s melting my cold wretched heart!

    • Thiazin Red

      My one cat does this to my shirt for about 15 minutes after I take it off. Every single day.

  • Ergoetal

    Bummer, man. When will you get to Boston?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Beat me to it! Complete with sappy Dave Loggins seventies ballad.

  • Joe Beese

    Rush Limbaugh haz a sad because the NFL has lost its “mystique”, what with the uppity negroes and the namby-pamby worrying about brain damage.

    • TundraGrifter

      They use to talk about “Aura” and “Mystique” when discussing the New York Yankees. Sound like two lap dancers to me.

    • Three Finger Salute

      When the fuck did fool’s ball have a “mystique”?

      Now, chess, that’s a game of intrigue.

      http://legomenon.com/images/ingmar-bergman-film-seventh-seal-analysis-meaning.jpg

    • spangled

      i just looked it up and somehow rush is only 66 years old.
      we’ll probably be hearing about his rants for 20 more years.

      i want to die.

      • Bec Jenn

        that’s it? I thought he was like sixty back in the 90’s. What is it about RWNJ’s that they age so quickly? Could be all that bile?

        • spangled

          i know right? and alex jones is FORTY THREE. wtf?????

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      He’s had a sad since the NFL said a big fuck you to him becoming part owner of the Rams.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        And then there was that whole commentator fiasco…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    OK, now that I have celebrated the death of TrumpDoesNotCare, back to the topic for a moment…

    Friday night for Los Angeles, eh? OK, I’ll have to make sure I can get out of work early enough, because there is no way in hell I am missing this. I hope Donna Rose will be there again!

  • Three Finger Salute

    Be there in spirit. But for future reference and if you don’t mind the rapid-cycling bipolar weather —

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjraHR9yeAI

    (Nice Fear & Loathing shoop, btw.)

    • Lord Jim

      What a great (if melancholic) song. Actually, the melancholia is what makes it so great.

  • shastakoala

    My neighbor texted me this pic this morning of my house. Cute little visitor. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/07ef40dddb61cecbbd20cb4566013c31857414e82bc7888c8cb5c20f95b4fec3.jpg

    • h4rr4r

      Those little things ate the heck out of my garden thus year. SWMBO calls them yard pets, so I leave them be even when they sin.

      • shastakoala

        That’s exactly what he’s doing to mine. Somebody dropped a bunch of domestic rabbits at a city park near my house. There’s so many now I think they’re expanding their territory. Kinda sad.

        • Suse

          See if there’s a bunny rescue org in your area. http://wabbitwiki.com/wiki/Feral_and_stray_rabbits

          • shastakoala

            I will do that. I know there’s numerous traps at the park already.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Someone liberated all the lab bunnies when I was in college. They bred with the natives and there was a thick coating of bunnies all over the campus within weeks.

    • Bemused

      AWWW bunneh!

    • gallbladder

      At least it’s not the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.

  • jaspersdad
    • Raan

      Also I like his Donald Sutherland beard.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Wow, NBA. Way to come out on the right side with guns blazing instead of hiding behind “what’s best for the league.” It’s too bad I despise basketball on general principle.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        NBA has always been a liberal-leaning sport.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Steve Kerr also too.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I saw that.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Yeah, but they’re racist and reverse-racist against short people.

    • DrBigHead

      So says the graduate of the US Air Force Academy.

  • data_ninja

    Here’s a soother: Relax and pet your dog
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQW12TLsA0A

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Hahahahaaaaa!! I am so glad my chihuahua isn’t one of THOSE chihuahuas.

      • Joe Beese

        My stepmother had a chihuahua. A little tyrant, like all of them. I called him “El Presidente”.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Mine is a mix, luckily, and a lover, not a fighter. But he does bark a lot.

  • TundraGrifter

    I just read a comment that made a great deal of sense to me. The so-called “Conservatives” (mouth-breathing Regressives as far as I am concerned) should be less worried about the flag and the national anthem and more concerned with the Constitution of the United States.

    The symbols shouldn’t be more important than the real thing. Our country, for example, is certainly strong enough to withstand flag burning. It isn’t strong enough to ban flag burning.

    One more thought. How many of these fools think the Citizens United decision was correct – that money is speech? If so, why do they whine about “over paid” athletes?

    • Occam’s 8 ball

      I can’t remember all of it, but don’t some smart people say that ‘Patriotism is the last something of the someone?’

      • TundraGrifter

        Dr. Samuel Johnson. “Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.”

  • Raan
  • Nounverb911
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    The media, by and large, has become a giant Cilizza on this and has missed the point of Kaep’s protest. It was to bring more awareness and start a serious dialogue about the fact that black folks are being killed by cops at a rate 3 times above average. It’s got fuck all to do with the flag, anthem or respect or shit like that.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Same as it ever was. Race issues don’t “play in Peoria” and “we have to make sure not to alienate white working-class voters or risk losing ratings”. The media is a blight anyway. Honestly, if it wasn’t for CNN trying to come up with filler for the otherwise nonexistent “24-hour news cycle” in the first place, there wouldn’t be a Trump candidacy at all. Ted Turner begat Fox. I fucking hate the news.

    • Gosala

      You’re right. The speed with which the underlying issue had been obscured and replaced says so much about how hard it is to even talk about race in America.

    • shivaskeeper

      It most certainly does have to do with respecting the flag, the anthem, and yes country. It has to do with the country not living up to it’s promises.

      Respect has to be given before it can be received. Respect has to flow from more power the less power first. It has to. Respect cannot be forced. It cannot be compelled. It cannot be guaranteed.

      In this case the country has decided an entire race is not really worthy of respect. Through institutional and individual racism an entire class of people are told constantly that they deserve no respect. The power lies with the government and as such respect has to start there before it can be reciprocated.

      Expecting them to give respect to a country that does not respect them or live up to its ideals is a silly concept. No one is saying the country and it’s ideals are not worth respecting, they are saying live up to the ideal, to the concept of a more perfect union, and the respect will be there.

      That is why the trash people get all bent out if shape about it. They know what this is about but they don’t want to change anything. They know they make this country unworthy of respect in some if it’s citizen’s eyes and it galls them to have to acknowledge that fact.

    • TundraGrifter

      People who try to drag in the US Military are desperate to make a point. It’s a pathetic move doomed to failure.

  • Nounverb911
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • gallbladder

    Prescient:
    https://youtu.be/gIIa6qtkiPA

    I always enjoyed that show as a teenager.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I had a wee baby (who never slept) and used to watch it all the time.

      Let’s recall the days when tv programming was not around the clock and would actually go off the air during the wee hours of the night.

      • gallbladder
        • Joe Beese

          Another “sound that kids don’t recognize”.

          • Joe Beese

            The sound that said “Go to bed, stupid.”

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Why are you disrespecting the flag by posting that instead of the national anthem sign-off? I’m gonna go burn my gallbladder jersey.

          • gallbladder

            I also took a knee when I posted it.

        • tehbaddr

          I remember that! And various other forms, including the colored bars (80’s).

      • NorthernSaber

        Year’s ago on a trio to Newfoundland the kids and I were watching CBC sign-off with a stirring rendition of “O Canada”, complete with a cartoon montage across Canada from east to west. Just as the music swelled and the cartoon reached the Canadian Rockies, a cartoon goat appeared center screen and made the damndest Billy goat noise ever, right in the middle if the anthem! We just about pissed ourselves laughing, and it became part of Expedition lore for years.

    • Suse

      Great show! Is she still around?

      • gallbladder
        • Suse

          She had breast cancer, I recall, and I was afraid she’d follow Molly to the afterlife area.

          • gallbladder

            Can you just imagine her getting in front of Drumpf and vivisecting him with that wit?

  • nothingisamiss

    YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Perhaps this is a violation of social media etiquette, but TRIX RETWEETED ME!

    http://halfguarded.com/wp-content/uploads/download.gif
    https://twitter.com/woody_tobias/status/912397040843476992

    • Why are you wearing whitr after labour day?

      • Bemused

        It’s a winter white, so it’s cool

        • Zombie lives in Winterpeg. Does not need help with winter cool

          • mancityRed6

            camouflage?

          • Bemused

            It’s a dry cool.

          • Doug Langley

            Fun fact: Antarctica is the driest place on earth. People who work at the science stations have to keep drinking water or drop from dehydration.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        I’m a ZGMOW

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I don’t even want to think about your sex doll.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Oh, no. Now she has gone and encouraged your foolishness!

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        That’s right! Now I’m going to pull ALLTHE STOPS!

        • mancityRed6

          oh lord

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Let me get my hip-waders on before the bullshit gets too deep!

          • Bub, the cynical zombie
          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            I, of course, would have switched that tape with a Free Bird cassette..

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            And some call ME a monster!

  • SisterArtemis

    Eugene folk, any suggestions for a place to get together on the 19th? I’m thinking Armitage park perhaps, or Alton Baker. Let me know if you have any other ideas, or any reason the two I came up with don’t work.

  • Nounverb911
    • Suse

      Fucking disgraceful. No empathy gene whatsoever in the lot of them.

  • Nounverb911
    • Begin Anew Day

      It’s funny because it’s true.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    October 19th. October 19th. I”ll be there!

  • Suse

    Finally we will discover how Christopher Walken got here, why he’s so delightfully weird, and if he’s animal, vegetable, or mineral. https://twitter.com/HenryLouisGates/status/912435487993888768

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Oooooooo – I love them both.

      • Suse

        Have you watched the show? Really interesting.

    • gallbladder

      He and William H. Macy can do no wrong.

      • Suse

        He’s going to be on, too.

        • gallbladder

          Fuckin’ A.

    • TJ Barke

      His halting speech style was a consequence of his parents not being fluent English speakers.

      • Suse

        He was so hauntingly good in the Deerhunter and hilarious in Annie Hall.

        • Sister Suffragette

          The Dead Zone also too.

          • Suse

            I never saw that. I should!

          • Sister Suffragette

            Yes! I was just thinking earlier today about my favorite Stephen King movie adaptations, and Dead Zone is one of ’em.

          • Serai 1

            It’s my favorite of his books, to this day.

          • Sister Suffragette

            Mine too, I think.

          • Serai 1

            At least once per book he says something amazing. The thing in DZ that always sticks in my mind is “The tiger has stripes that fade into the background. This makes the worried man see tigers everywhere.” It has the ring of a real adage, and it’s a beautiful image. His gift is haphazard but when it hits, it hits hard.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            The book is so sad and good.

          • Lord Jim

            My first Stephen King novel, and in many ways, still my favorite.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            It’s been years since I read it, but I thought about it a lot during the election.

      • Suse

        Ah – I see his mother was from Scotland and his dad from Germany. Same mix as Dotard.

    • mancityRed6

      how can you go wrong with an ex circus performer?

    • Stulexington

      Honoured, to have, Christopher Walken, on the new season. of, Finding your roots.

      • CripesAmighty

        And, more, cowbell!

    • Serai 1
    • Panika MCD

      the man sure can dance!

      • Suse

        Helluva child actor, too.

    • CripesAmighty

      Favorite show on now. It’s only an hour, but Skip Gates takes you on a journey that feels like a 3 hour epic. If ya haven’t seen it, get ready.

  • Three Finger Salute
    • canes_pugnaces

      Quit Facebook is the answer.

      • Three Finger Salute

        It needs to go. It’s a front for Russian propaganda and an incubator of hate. IT. NEEDS. TO. GO.

      • Serai 1

        No, that’s only the answer if you think your own involvement is all that matters.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Not the answer but a first step that can be taken immediately.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Need some good news/bad news from an auto-play link?

    CNN Poll: Opinion of the Republican Party falls to all-time low

    Fewer than three in 10 Americans — 29% — hold a favorable view of the Republican Party according to a new CNN poll conducted by SSRS. That is down 13 percentage points from March and is the lowest mark for the GOP since CNN began asking the question in 1992.

    The previous low point for the GOP was 30% — hit twice — in October 2013 following the federal government shutdown over President Barack Obama’s health care law, and December 1998, in the wake of the House of Representatives approving two articles of impeachment against then President Bill Clinton.

    Well, that’s good. What’s the down side?

    Republicans are signaling they prefer President Donald Trump’s vision for the party, with 79% saying he is taking it in the right direction. A majority of GOP voters — 53% — believe Republican leaders in Congress are taking the party in the wrong direction.

    OK, well, lets remember this in two years when the economy is in tatters and the Republicans try to walk away from Donald on the grounds that he isn’t a real Republican…

    • Suse

      The rethugs just sent out a poll to the base to see how popular Malaria is. I’m sure they all approved of her $1K-plus plaid gardening shirt.

    • TJ Barke

      And yet somehow these shit stains control all three branches.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        For now. #GetOutTheFuckingVote2018

      • Serai 1

        We stopped paying attention. We were too busy being smug about changing light bulbs and eating soybeans while they were packing school boards and city councils. It took fourty years but they finally reached their goal. And now it’s turtles all the way down.

      • mancityRed6

        *looks at failed votes*
        define “control”

    • Gosala

      So long as he leaves the donor class in charge of the levers of power, they really don’t care what chaos he sows.

      In fact chaos can serve them by distracting hoi poloi from what is really going on.

    • mancityRed6

      “we’re never wrong”

    • Dudleydidwrong

      So the Republicans are lower than whale shit on the ocean floor but the whale shit likes the way new shit sinks to the bottom? Got it.

  • Arolpin

    OK, if you are going to stop in Boise, you should float the Boise River, but it will probably be too cold in October, so you need to ice-block Simplot Hill. I suspect that Doktor Zoom is familiar with it, but here’s the rundown.

    Supplies needed: 1 block of ice per person (the gas station just past the Hill Rd intersection sells block ice cheaply.
    1 towel or cushion of some sort
    1 metric assload of your favorite adult beverage

    Location: North Bogus Basin Rd & Cartwright Rd, about 1/2 mile north of Hill Rd. There is a largish Mormon church on your left, and right across Cartwright is a large, many acre lawn on a BIG hill.

    How to do it: Lug your block of ice and towel/cushion up the hill, maybe to the first ridge. Set the towel/cushion on the ice, set your butt on the towel/cushion, feet pointed down the hill. Slowly make sure you are balanced, then lift your feet up slightly, spread them about shoulder-width, and spread your arms to the side and behind you so your fingers are just grazing the grass and use feet & hands as outriggers. Let the ice start sliding, don’t worry about steering, just try to keep your feet pointed downhill. You will tumble, you will roll, you will get dirty and muddy and probably bruised.
    Recharge with another beverage, lug the ice & cushion back up, and repeat. After a couple attempts, you should be able to make it all the way to the run-out area without crashing. Hmm, without falling off mid-way, you’re still going to fall off at the end most of the time.

    Pro-tip: Have access to a hot-tub to soak your bruises.
    Pro-tip #2: If you fall of, fall off the back of the ice block, so it doesn’t whack you in the shoulder or head as it passes you.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Needs less lugging; more beer and croquetas outside Bar Gernika.

      • Arolpin

        And good Basque chorizos. Though there is no reason you can’t do both.

  • Suse

    Sonoma is lovely, but there will be zero parking.

    • Left Coast Tom

      “Zero parking” applies to a lot of nice places in northern California.

      At least there’s nothing much at Sears Point that day so actually reaching Sonoma will be possible.

  • Joe Beese
    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Ted Rall! Aiiieeee, my eyes!!!

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I should also say that, typically for Rall, I don’t get it. The point seems to be that America is the rogue nation, but how does the lower left panel fit into that?

        • Elvis Causticfellow

          And if that’s supposed to be Hillary in the lower right panel, I can only say “Way to go Ted. Nailed it.”

  • MrTusks

    Go east, you midwestern hicks! Come enjoy some fucking northeastern hospitality, assholes!

    • Panika MCD

      MT isn’t midwestern.

      • MrTusks

        It’s all Not Here to me, chief.

    • Juan de Fuca

      *Enters traffic circle while cutting some dipshit off and waiving middle finger out of window* “Fuck you too, asshole!”

    • altleftjohn

      I gotcher northeastern hospitality . . . OVAH HERE!

      • puredog

        I call foul. Shouldn’t that be: “OVAH HEAH”?

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      In other words, “Visit Boston!”

  • Serai 1

    Something fun! In case you’ve ever wondered where Nigel and David and Derek came from, here’s Lord Christopher with the story…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsIiBxWweRc

    • Thiazin Red

      Too bad he isn’t in the House of Lords anymore.

  • Joe Beese
    • Doug Langley

      Needz moar rabbit ears.

      • Joe Beese

        I crept a little closer to my grave when I realized that no one under the age of 30 understood the metaphor of “hitting the TV on its side”.

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          or wrapping the antenna in tinfoil.

        • Lord Jim

          A generation lives that will never know the piquant “thunkthunkthunk” sound of turning a channel-selection dial. With 13 positions on it.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          I mentioned the Lawrence Welk good night song to a delightful young woman I work with. She had never heard of it. She had never heard of him. Not even ironically.

  • Any Wonkers know if El Refugio State Beach campground just north of Santa Barbara is as wonderful now as it was prior to the oil spill a while back?

    • Panika MCD

      my parents always preferred Jalamas for shroom tripping when they were in grad school.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    On the way to Eugene, McKenzie Pass would be a sight to see, if it’s not closed for wildfires, or snow, and if the WonkMobile acn fit on it…

  • Picabo

    Today in history, 1957. “Under escort from the U.S. Army’s 101st Airborne Division, nine black students enter all-white Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas.”
    http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/central-high-school-integrated
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/449e0178793761f042b9892774fe2306dda76a77f6922be0057894444aa91ed1.jpg

  • Jennifer R
    • wait! what?

      You pay in £s of flesh…

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah I sure can’t afford that right now sadly. But it looks cool and someone might want it for themselves.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I would suggest Dockweiler Beach as a Los Angeles location, but apparently alcohol is officially forbidden. I think I know you Wonkers well enough to know how well that would go over, LOL…

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      No beaches! Almost all of us live in Hollywood, Silver Lake, Los Feliz, the valley, etc!!! No one wants to spend two hours driving in rush hour to the beach! Bronson Park, in Griffith Park, would be perfect, except, if it’s Friday “night,” the park closes at sunset, so we will have to come up with somewhere else!

  • Thomas Spieker

    How about stopping in Orange County on your way from LA to San Diego? Help us flip four congressional seats here for 2018 including Dana “colonies on Mars” Rohrbacher and Darryl “hiding on the roof” Issa. Hey, they might even show up if we serve up some Smirnoff and Skype-invite Julian Assange!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      My groups in Los Angeles are ready and willing to lend our support. Let’s do this thing!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Randy Rainbow does it again!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=580dYcYCneA

  • Charles Insandiego

    If you’re here on Halloween, I recommend hanging out in Hillcrest- its a good, *ahem* flamboyant scene. I’ll see you there.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • mancityRed6

      dammit, this is what I miss by not having Fox.

    • Stulexington

      it’s the half naked part, Trump never goes anywhere without a suit on. His jammies probably at least look like a 3 piece suit.

      • wait! what?

        Half naked is a metaphor for Donald’s intellect.

      • puredog

        Half-naked Trump is still more nakedness than most can muster.

    • Panika MCD

      only satire for now…

      • Lord Jim

        Yesterday’s satire is tomorrow’s headline…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Sombody out there has got some weird fetishes
    https://twitter.com/kurteichenwald/status/912420435677106177

    • mancityRed6

      glass houses, thrown stones, you do the math.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Wait, which glass house? Mine? Are you saying you know about my embarrassing online purchases?! Fuuuuck. I was young, I was drunk, I needed the exposure dollars!

        • mancityRed6

          I feel worse about the person who had to verify that they were the real deal than for the poor sick sonofabitch that bought them.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I guess Bannon used some of his severance pay for this

    • tehbaddr

      Give the historical and forensic significance, I’d say that’s a bargain!

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      So my question is whether his briefs would have gone for less, or (shudder) more?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Kelly to Trump: “I don’t think they’ll fit sir.”

      Trump: “Of course they will! I” *loud rip* “…should maybe stop having two scoops of ice cream at every meal.” *Hands tattered shorts to Kelly* “Give these to the butler, and see that they’re mended. Maybe let out the waist and seat a few inches…”

  • Picabo

    Today in history, 1981. “Sandra Day O’Connor becomes the first female U.S. Supreme Court justice in history when she is sworn in by Chief Justice Warren Burger.”
    http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/oconnor-takes-seat-on-supreme-court
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c4992aac71b9ff5e9d5040b4363a1e8013ff916603a838f73f4104a3b42f883f.jpg

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    Wait. Hold Everything. Are Miss Linz and Susan Collins still friends?

    • Panika MCD

      Miss Lindz and WALNUTS! are still friends, so I don’t see why not.

  • wait! what?

    Donald: “1,2,3,4; NK, I declare a twitter war.”

    NK: “Lil’ d, I think you just stepped in the shit emoji.”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And the news of the death of TrumpDoesNotCare has me in the mood for some mood music:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkZ5e94QnWk

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    I haven’t gone premium for my own domain yet, but thoughts? Obviously, most of the links don’t work either.

    https://greengoldsharpie.wixsite.com/index

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    Friday Oct. 27 in Los Angeles! YAYYYYYYYYY

  • Panika MCD

    something about Jim Cramer dissing Tsarina Von Clownstick I missed?

    • Raan

      I haven’t thought about him since Jon Stewart verbally tore him to shreds.

    • mancityRed6

      I see nothing on his tweeter feed.

      • Panika MCD

        apparently got all GRRR MAD! that OCare is still a thing and tax cuts for the rich aren’t. blaming DJT and Congressional Rs.

        • mancityRed6

          “I’m a moron with a button, why haven’t you fucked this country up even more?”

          • Panika MCD

            “let me show you how buttons work!”

  • Nounverb911

    Like donnie will listen to you. Maybe if Putin asks….

    https://twitter.com/BillClinton/status/912386484686204928

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      I’m with ya, dude, but neither FEMA nor the US Military does what I tell them to.

      • ariel_gee_398

        I imagine the Trumpsters at FEMA just repeatedly screaming “speak English” into the phone whenever someone from Puerto Rico manages to get through.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Do they even know that Puerto Ricans are Americans?

          • sarafina

            They are not sure Hawaiians are Americans, remember?

  • Jamoche
    • gallbladder

      Goddamned fucking dust.

  • chascates
    • Raan

      Hey, don’t blame us because you fuckers can’t tell a joke from policy proposal.

      • wait! what?

        All republican policy proposals are jokes.

        • Raan

          See! We’re the ones with a sense of timing!

          • wait! what?

            All the Wonks will inherit the earth. It’s in the Bible, you just have to keep drinking until you see it.

          • Raan

            It’s in one of the books banned by the Council of Nicea.

          • wait! what?

            Nicee what you did there.

    • Elvis Causticfellow
      • Raan

        Shit, he was that today too.

      • Relativicus

        My first and only thought as I read that.

    • Jamoche

      Dunno, I think this football player had every right to feel oppressed. And if he had been shot?
      http://ktla.com/2017/09/06/nfl-player-michael-bennett-says-he-was-targeted-by-police-for-simply-being-a-black-man/

      Bennett says he was leaving the fight and heading back to the hotel (on his day off) when people heard what sounded like shots fired.

      “Like many of the people in the area I ran away from the sound, looking for safety. Las Vegas police officers singled me out and pointed their guns at me for doing nothing more than simply being a black man in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

    • Panika MCD

      come to the meetup on Friday! we’re going to the John Sharp TribTalk!

      • chascates

        I’m afraid that could only result in alcohol use that would keep me out of work the next day? How many folks show up?

        • Panika MCD

          nah! the Austin Club is pricey (though the event is free…just need to reserve a spot on EventBrite) and you’ll drink far less than at a wank picnic. because: TribTalk. besides, we don’t have a DD yet!

        • Panika MCD

          you and Werewolf and Fartknocker need to quit being so coy and come!

        • Panika MCD

          John and Walter and I are the only 3 so far. Jenny has soccer practice. Fartknocker and Werewolf haven’t responded. besides: if I and most of the lege can work hungover, so can you.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Meet-ups are really enjoyable. And generally they aren’t drinking contests.

        • Panika MCD
    • wait! what?
    • Rick Hill

      A dislike for America? So, admitting the racism and theft from those who cannot defend themselves are American values? These people are making me hate them more every day

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      If NFL Players stood for this, I might actually have to start liking footsball!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02D2T3wGCYg

    • gallbladder

      Americans Nationwide Burn NFL Tickets, Shirts in Solidarity

      Wow, that’ll teach ’em! (see: Dumbfuck rubes buying and pouring bottles of French wine down the sewers to punish France for non-participation in the Iraq War.)

      • chascates

        They COULD donate those tickets to vets or kids or their local mosque.

        • Panika MCD

          and you could get a ticket for Friday so we can show Trix it’d be worth her time to visit!

      • Canned Covfefe

        Something something nose something something face…

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Well that’s helpful. Now I know where my RWNJ older brother and his racist Long Island buddies get their talking points from. He was word for word with this stuff on Facebook today. I decided it was time to take a break and unfollow him for a while

  • A Trumper seems to have just started following me on Twitter….

    • wait! what?

      It’s the rogue angle; maybe another Palin fan with a 2 second attention span…

      • It’s somebody from SC, a place i have never been to….weirdness

        • Panika MCD

          WT?

          • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

            Was WT from SC?

          • Say whaaa?

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Ummmmm….you did hear about our latest troll?

          • I did…it was the lack of context. I may need to go for the block, preemptively

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Of course, I have no idea if it’s our “friend”. But if it’s an asshole, I vote block.

          • So far, just following….but the timeline is all a steaming pile of BS

        • Pinkham’s Law

          I promise it’s not me.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Of course not. You are far too intelligent to be a Trumpanzee.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Oh, I’m so sorry.

    • Raan

      Start tweeting dick butt.

    • Canned Covfefe

      We send you thoughts and prayers.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Well this isn’t comforting:

    Cortes said the news came as a surprise to Pennsylvania, and that federal officials did not give any guidance on whether additional safety measures are needed. As it learns more, the state will decide on what steps to take to reinforce security in its elections systems, he said.

    J.J. Abbott, spokesman for Gov. Wolf, said that to his knowledge no one from the federal government had contacted state officials about the hacking attempt, and no one working for the commonwealth had independently stumbled upon evidence of Russian hacking.

    Though Cortes appeared confident there was no data breach, he acknowledged that he could not say with 100 percent certainty that there wasn’t.

    http://www.philly.com/philly/news/politics/state/youre-it-pa-told-of-russian-election-hacking-attempt-20170925.html

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Stumbled on… like over one’s own dick… not that there’d be any reason to go actually look..

    • Canned Covfefe

      Oh yay, aren’t we lucky.

  • NorthernSaber

    Am trying not to have a sad that this tour does not include Presque Isle (good bangers and mash @ “The Irish Setter”), Caribou (poutine @ “Burger Boy”), Limestone (pizza-type food @ “The Rendezvous”) or Stockholm (EVERYTHING @ “Eureka Hall”). Oh well- we still have shit-tons of moose, we can drive by the Northern Lights, and I’m 2 minutes from Canada. But we don’t have Wonketeers on tour…

    • Panika MCD

      moose chili and moose burgers are a pretty good motivator in my book.

      • NorthernSaber

        Had moose stew one cold night in Newfoundland that was MOST welcome after the ride from Burgeo down to Francois!

  • Michael R
    • Doug Langley

      Ooh! Ooh! Is this one of them subliminal thingies?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        It’s weird, I have a sudden strong urge for chowder.

        • Canned Covfefe

          Mmmmm

    • Christopher Story

      You monster!

    • tehbaddr

      You! Are one of us! Embrace your love of canned bivalves! Freely declare yourself a MONSTER!!!11!!1!!1111!!!!!!!!11!!!!!11!!!1!!!!!1!1111111111!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Canned Covfefe

      YIPPEE

    • Relativicus

      It’s blurry.

  • CripesAmighty

    Ken Burns on. Too depressing, but too good. Damn

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’ve decided to binge watch it on Wednesday. It’s not fair to my co-workers to have to deal with me when I’m quivering with rage/wanting to collapse into sobs.

    • georgiaburning

      Just imagine if RFK hadn’t been shot. Sigh

  • Kakariki

    Yay! A Monday in San Diego so I might be able to attend. I am normally off on Mondays.

    • Even if you weren’t off of work, you could always call in sick!

      • Doug Langley

        A boss I once had called that “slick leave”.

      • Kakariki

        That would normally mean closing the business, which is hard to justify. Last month I had to do it several times for radiation treatments, so I think I will reserve that option for real medical necessity.

        Right now Mondays are still open but I find out on the 3rd if I need additional treatment, so things could change.

    • puredog

      Eugene. . . .hmmm. . .about a hunnert miles too far. I’ll just sit here scrunched down in Portland and just wait for the inevitable revisit.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Completely off any topic, but I love John Oliver. I never thought that somebody could make the grifty fuckwits who are the Trump cabinet funny, even though rage-inducing.

    https://youtu.be/VcqiuCCOgLA

  • Suttree

    No east coast!? Fine. I’ll have my own party with blackjack and hookers.

    • NorthernSaber

      I tried to lure them up to Aroostook with poutine, moose, and the Northern Lights, but I think your idea might have more takers!

      • Suttree

        I once spent a few weeks paddling the Allagash..Beautiful country up there!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      And blow, right? Can’t forget the blow!

      • Suttree

        Well if we are gonna have a party!

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I like your ideas and would like to be put on your guest list.

      • Suttree

        You are always invited Tall Mutha!

    • Raan

      In fact, forget the party and the blackjack! Ah, screw the whole thing.

    • Left Coast Tom

      There’s an “east” coast?!

  • bubbuhh
    • Doug Langley

      So weird. That looks exactly like the scene in the Britcom My Hero where George, the superhero from Ultron, is showing Janet how he erases memories . . . and accidentally erases his own.

    • proudgrampa

      Did he just give us the bird? Huh?

  • puredog

    Imma just leave this here:
    LOCK THEM UP! LOCK ALL OF THEM UP!

  • AJ Milne

    NYT: At least six of Trump’s advisors used private email for government business…

    … it’s not so much lock them up as tack on consecutive sentences for all the other shit now, mind.

  • Nounverb911
    • georgiaburning

      He’s right. Can he hold his breath? For an hour?

  • altleftjohn

    Fine! Skip Portland. See if I care! *sniff pout*

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Tbf, they have been here twice fairly recently.

  • Nounverb911
  • Three Finger Salute

    Well, here we go folks. Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

    “Donald Trump has already declared war on North Korea!” In fiery U.N. speech, the Hermit Kingdom’s Foreign Minister threatens to shoot down American bombers even if they are outside country’s airspace

    Japan’s PM calls snap election hoping to ensure “maximum support” for his party as North Korea-U.S. rhetoric heats up

    As abysmal as Trump’s approval here is, it may be having a delayed impact elsewhere. Fascism is unfortunately showing no signs of abating internationally. Actual Nazis won the highest percentage since the ’30s in the Bundestag and Merkel isn’t going to be around forever. France is perpetually dissatisfied and Macron the wunderkind may end up being a flash in the pan. The Crappers in the nice upstairs apartment are showing no signs of letting up on our Justin, and may have found an Achilles’ Heel appealing to voters’ personal selfishness — he is trying to close a tax loophole benefiting the very rich, an action which has been spun as a “war on small business owners.” At the same time, the Bernbrats of the north (Dippers) are throwing a tantrum and threatening to play spoiler because J.T. didn’t wave a magic wand and turn the country into Scandinavian Disneyland overnight.

    Which means, at the end of the day, maybe total nuclear annihilation will be Trump’s saving grace after all. Anything’s better than creeping fascism and the lights going out around the world.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      No. Just no. Because total annihilation is not better than anything.

      Are you doing okay?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Are you real WITP or imposter tho’?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Check my history. It’s open.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Oh good, it’s really you. At least the comment tally is working again. Not sure what that whole thing was, on top of the spoofing from he who shall not be mentioned that just sent everyone into a reality-distortion field.

            I’m only as OK as I’ll ever be, but I look out across the landscape and it’s not looking good. The fact that actual Nazis won any percentage at all in Germany really bothered me. From there, all the other dominoes seem to be falling. The French are always pissed about one thing or another, and there’s always self-interested siphoners ready to throw a monkey wrench in things, letting the perfect be the enemy of the good. Britain is a total basket case. The rest of Europe is either broke (Greece, Portugal, Spain) ideologically aligned with Putin (the former Eastern Bloc) or holds little to no influence to have any effect globally (Scandis, Swiss, etc).

            Canada’s all that remains, and a new set of outlier polls gives their version of the GOP a pretty darn good chance. We know from polling in this country that polls mean shit if people hold their cards close until the end. All because of this tax-loophole thing, for which the billionaire class is backing a campaign to pit the “mom-and-pop small-business owners” and salt-of-the-earth farmers against the “undeserving” poor, paint Justin as a spendthrift giving away OPM to useless bums and “terrorists” at the expense of hardworking families. The media is full of cons and wishy-washy whataboutists, and the disinfo may be steadily having an effect.

            The lights of hope are flickering, and we’ve got nothing but dim bulbs set to replace them. What happened in the ’40s didn’t materialize overnight. And it makes me worried. It really makes me worried. We’ve seen where this has gone before.

          • aktlib101

            Relax. I come from the former E. European Bloc. We are not pro-Putin. No need for rhetoric like that. It means you have no idea of the reality on the ground there.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Ideologically meaning right-wing governments, not literally in bed with Russia. Not necessarily all or even most of the people. All the places where the leadership has given Merkel a fuck-you about refugees and issued human-rights crackdowns. Places that show up as “pure white paradises” mentioned frequently on Breitbart and its fellow travelers. Poland, Hungary, Czech Republic and Estonia among others. Slovenia which is Melania’s country. Breitbart adores Viktor Orban.

          • aktlib101

            Takes time to educate people. Poland and Hungary are, indeed, kind of in a bad place, what with totalitarian-style leadership. Orban has a loose screw. Or many. However, former communist countries were isolated for many decades, there were few contacts with the outside. Hitting them with refugees quotas allowed local Breitfarts to seize the moment and talk about Sharia and all that crap. Give the people in those countries a little time, there are many in the older generation who miss communism, they forgot the bad parts, only remember the fact that there were jobs for life and healthcare and they were young at the time. Change takes time. It will get better, the young generation is European. In 20 years, EU should become virtually unbreakable, since the youth of today will be in power

          • Three Finger Salute

            Sigh. Well, that’s a bit of a glimmer. But the waiting, as Tom Petty said, is the hardest part.

            I’m still worried about the rest of the continent and Canada though. Merkel is 63 and she needs to stay healthy for a long time. The French really need to take a chill pill. Britain needs triage and psychiatric intervention. And Canada needs to get their shit together, look around them and realize just how good they really do have it. The purity ponies need to shut 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 fuck 👏🏻 up, quit their whining, readdress their priorities and go after the real enemy, which is the grinning sociopath from Sasquatchestan and his party of Trump acolytes, fascist fundamentalists, and snake-oil deceivers.

            Don’t 👏🏻 let 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 perfect 👏🏻 be 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 enemy 👏🏻 of 👏🏻 the 👏🏻 good.

          • aktlib101

            Well. I could not agree more. Well said.

    • aktlib101

      Nah, votes for the “nazi” party in Germany came from former E Germans. Old habits die hard. It was more an anti-establishment vote, rather than a pro-nazi vote. Not to worry. Adults are much in charge there. Unlike here or in GB.

      • Three Finger Salute

        The French and Canada though? Macron has been in office for barely half a year and there’s already a mob wanting to dust off Madame Guillotine. Any crack in the electorate opens up the door for perpetual candidate Le Pen — but now that Putin has succeeded in destroying America, he can focus his attention on other targets this time. Trudeau, the pitchforks already got sharpened with Khadrgate and now this tax-loophole thing has brought out the torches. Hillary : coal country :: Trudeau : oil country and local-yokel shopowners. When actually he wants to close the loophole for the bigliest at the top so as to loosen some of the burden on the local-yokels, but the bigliest at the top are the ones funding the dogfight among the ones below them. Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.

        • so france ALWAYS has a mob dusting off the guillotine. and in fact, macron has weathered the annual september marches better than his predecessors. he also has more union support behind him than normal (i believe 2 of the 3 traditionally hostile unions are backing his proposed reforms). though i hear you about the ever present le pen threat, i’m not writing him off yet.

          and as for justin, he’s always got the terrifying example of trump in his back pocket.

          governing is really really fucking hard in a democracy. esp in the age of the internet.

    • Paperless Tiger

      The North Koreans have been hyper-sensitive about the DMZ ever since the USA carpet-bombed it after the Korean War. According to a military analyst on NPR, the American show of force flying bombers near the border is not a major escalation, only slightly out of line with the routine provocations used by both sides. Meanwhile, everyone and his dog is trolling Trump for all they’re worth. Kim Jong Un may be more interested in degrading our Asian alliances than going out in a blaze of glory.

  • Chris is being a dick to Hillz. Unimpressed

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’ve been liking Lawrence O’Donnell more and more since the reign of Donald started–I think it’s because he decided to give zero fucks and start busting the, er, heads of TrumpPenceZees.

      Chris Hayes, OTOH, I am getting more and more over. Give that slot to Joy Ann Reid!

  • Spurning Beer

    I’m going to assume that this is the open thread.

    Donald has been bellowing for two years about the murder rate going up. The FBI just released the Uniform Crime Reporting data for 2016. It shows that, yes, the murder rate has gone up for the past two years, and at a fairly fast rate, but that’s largely a function of how low the murder rate has been in historical terms.

    Josh Marshall notes another interesting point about the data: “Also notable was the geographical distribution of this uptick. In the Northeast, Middle Atlantic and Pacific regions and subregions the rates remained unchanged. The uptick was concentrated in the Midwest, South and Mountain West.” (emphasis added)

    Now what do those regions have in common?

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/looking-at-the-new-crime-numbers

    • I see white people?

    • Doug Langley

      No ocean view?

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Home to a lot of people who need killin’?

    • mancityRed6

      open carry slingshots?

    • Meccalopolis
    • aktlib101

      Brain parts missing. Genetic defects. Cousins marrying. Guns. Opioids. MAGA?

      • SpideySenser

        All of the above.

    • Suttree

      Meth?

  • WomanInThePersistence

    One more Oliver link. With more kneeling.

    https://youtu.be/BClD17Z_3tk

    And who is this Janine Pirro nut?

    • Three Finger Salute

      A so-called judge who rants and raves on Fox. No one of consequence.

    • mancityRed6

      RWNJ. some kind of ex judge. she’s just way out there. but she’s on fox, so…

    • therblig

      i think she was going to run against hillary for senator in ny, but her mobbed up husband proved problematic. now, she’s just an asshole. well, like she always was.

  • Nounverb911

    So this happened, hopefully Tiffany will become a better lawyer than the ones Ivanka and Jr, hire…

    https://twitter.com/coopah/status/912457302485225474

    • Doug Langley

      Jesus, I’ve seen soap operas with less intrigue.

      • Suttree

        We need more secret pregnancies and a good coma.

        • Spurning Beer

          We need more secret pregnancies, amnesia, and a good Oxford coma.

          • Suttree

            Not the Oxford coma!!!!!!!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Please never post anything that has the words “Ivanka”, “Donald Jr.” and “bump” in the same sentence. Thanks.

      • Suttree

        Ivanka bumped into Donald Jr. in the bathroom. They both said the coke was good.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Is “pump” an acceptable substitution?

      • Gosala

        Rumors say that Donald Jr. is sporting a bump courtesy of Ivanka.

        You’re welcome.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Ugh….

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      They sure are classy–and by “classy” I mean “vulgar AF FFS.”

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Why would they do that to their only daughter?

    • DrBigHead

      Wow. Maybe Tiffany can get a job as one of Mueller’s interns

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I think she might actually enjoy that.

    • Relativicus

      It’s a family tradition.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Since she’d rather be at Fashion Week than class, I wouldn’t hold out much hope of that.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • OrdinaryJoe

      LOCK HIM UP !!!!

    • Suttree

      I am not going to read that, I am just going to smile.

  • wait! what?
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Suttree

      Where does the line start to tell Tucker he is an idiot?

      • That’s just one of them snakes eating itself

        • Suttree

          The idea of Tucker blowing himself makes me want to vomit.

          • You know that little weasel shit has tried to…

          • Suttree

            Tried?

          • Amy!

            Well, not everyone has the yoga moves of a Steve Bannon, you know.

          • Suttree

            I just barfed in my mouth a little bit.

          • Amy!

            Ha! Yogi Bannon could use that as lubricant. Except that finding anything sufficiently repulsive to provoke nausea seems to be entirely beyond his capacity.

          • wavicles

            He easily makes the cabana boy vomit.

    • ariel_gee_398

      A Packers’ shareholder? So an NFL owner in the same way Ralphie was a spy helping Little Orphan Annie with her mission.

      • mancityRed6

        that team used to be socialist, owned by the state. they’d play in three different stadiums so that people all over the state could watch them play.
        well, they’re still non profit and community owned so now that statement really doesn’t make any sense.

    • mancityRed6

      “well, ok, it was one of those guys who sells cotton candy, and it was an offhand remark about people who don’t have correct change, but still…the point stands.”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      So a guy who has non-sellable, non-transferable, non-voting, no dividend stock is upset. The only difference between him and the guy swilling nacho cheese in the parking lot is he has a fancy 9×12 certificate the team laser printed for him.

      • mancityRed6

        yeah, but that guy with the nacho cheese has a badge.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        This made me laugh out loud.

  • Juan de Fuca

    What if you if had a huge logo on the Wonkebago that said something like:

    The U Bum Tour 2017

    Featuring: Squirrels trying to get a Nut with supporting band, Grabbing Her by the Zipper?

  • Valentia

    On the evening of October 26, I’ll be drinking Mr. Jameson’s whiskey and warming a bar stool at the Fling. Show up, or suffer the Curse of the Gombeen Man, missy.

  • Amy!

    Shirley you can take just a few hours out of your driving day to make a side trip to Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill NC. It’s only a couple thousand miles!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Don’t call me Shirley!

      Sorry spellcheck jokes are the easiest jokes.

    • DrBigHead

      I thought her name was Rebecca….

    • proudgrampa

      Stop calling ME shirley!

      The oldies are the besties.

      • Amy!

        You can’t be Sirius!

  • Nounverb911

    Doesn’t say if they kept kneeling for the anthem.

    https://twitter.com/brianstelter/status/912473172859146240

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Only things the Cowboys have ever done that I approve of.

      • DrBigHead

        Since the non-call on Drew Pearson for the offensive pass interference in the 1975 NFC championship game, the play that that put the Cowboys in the Super Bowl over the Vikings, I’m afraid there is NOTHING the Cowboys can do that I will approve of including saving a truckload of kittens from going over a cliff.

        Remember, “fan” is short for “fanatic”

      • Panika MCD

        they raised a lot of $$$ for Harvey relief.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          It’s a $4 Billion dollar business that got nearly a billion dollars in taxpayer money to build a new stadium — I think the couple million they ponied up (cf. the naming rights to said stadium, which earn JJ around $17 Million, annually) is almost literally the least they could do.

          • Panika MCD

            they raised more than that.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      That’s being teammates…

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Jerruh must be spitting nails right about now. He’s the only owner who hasn’t said anything but “You gotta stand for the anthem.”

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He’s busy explaining how much Ezekiel Elliot has grown as a person since that bitch made up all those lies about him.

        • Juan de Fuca

          Well, he deserves a right to trial or something, doesn’t he? Then again, it’s not like there’s ever been a girl in the world who texted another person about extorting money from a former famous boyfriend through sex tapes while claiming he abused her. Because that’s what victims do.

          He does need to grow up but it sounds like that young girl does too.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        He locked arms and took a knee with the team.

      • Juan de Fuca

        There are many reasons to loathe Jerry Jones but that isn’t one of them

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          So he had a Come to Jesus moment? Good for him.

          • Juan de Fuca

            I don’t know if he did or not. I only remember getting into a rather heated discussion with a RWNJ friend at work who mentioned something along the same line, except that in his case, he was talking about how great of an American Jerry was, and when I asked him for the link to “Jerry Jones Demands Players Stand for Anthem.” it was a FB story that was proven false by Snopes.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Well I posted earlier this morning he spoke to someone at a Forbes event last week and expressed that he doesn’t believe the anthem is the time for “free speech”.

            “I do not think the place to express yourself in society is as we
            recognize the American flag,” Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones told FOX
            Business’ Cheryl Casone last week at a gala celebrating the 100-year
            anniversary of Forbes magazine, prior to Trump’s comments. “So that’s
            not the place to do anything other than honor the flag and everybody
            that’s given up a little bit for it.”

          • Juan de Fuca

            And the entire Cowboys team, including dipshit Jerry Jones, took a knee tonight. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8693c4ef323d9afbc3a2fadd5b9b112248a757845914a3200ca95a236dbb9e0e.png

            Are we investing too much in this? I feel like we’re investing too much in this. There are many reasons to dislike Jerry Jones. This isn’t one of them because it’s a false narrative. I’m a Cowboys fan and I don’t even like him.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I have never liked him myself. But I think that a good deed should be acknowledged, even when done by a nasty little shitweasel.

          • Juan de Fuca

            He is a shitweasel.

    • Juan de Fuca

      Umm…because they’ve always been America’s team? Hullo?

    • Nounverb911
      • Villago Delenda Est

        Well, I’m shocked, after his pro-Donald bullshit from yesterday, which prompted my seconds-ago comment.

        • Nounverb911

          Perfectly understandable, but then again donnie is threatening his livelihood…

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Me too. Shocked and chastened. Jerry did good.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The shitstain that is Jerry Jones had a Donald like conniption, I’m sure.

  • Viktor

    The liberal bastion of NYC gets no love? We are people too

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Yeah! We should pressure Trix to include us in her West Coast tour.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        It’s just a hop, skip, and a jump away. What’s a few thousand miles among friends?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Right? What’s up with that? :)

  • CO
    • Viktor

      LOCK THEM UP! LOCK THEM UP. I

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        (Read in voice of Grendel.)

      • Villago Delenda Est

        There can be no other reaction to these vile creatures.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    But can we test to see if they float? https://twitter.com/LOLGOP/status/912474341115404289

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      I’m sure Tucker Carlson will get right on it.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Down there, in Mueller land, they will all float…..

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “Cillizza! Get in here!”

      “Yes chief?”

      *hands Cillizza some mimeographed sheets* “I want you on this Trump admin email story like white on rice, got me? Leave no stone unturned!”

      “Aw, but CHIEF, c’mon! I was doing email stories all last year!

      • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

        mimeographed? U is old.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          That was for effect. Trying to set a mood. Imagine Cillizza in a battered fedora with a press card stuck in the hat band…

          • Arolpin

            I’m trying to wrap my head around Cillizza as a real, old-time, ink-stained-wretch reporter. It’s just not working. Maybe a 3rd-rate gossip columnist, in Des Moines.

          • Meccalopolis

            Wannabe winchel

  • Johnatx

    What about Austin? Pleeeeezzz.

    • Panika MCD

      we have to show that there’s enough of us to be worth coming. let’s try to get more wonks to the Friday event.

      • Johnatx

        Oh. I replied to your reply in another thread. I can drive.

        • Panika MCD

          sweet! how we gonna coordinate?

        • Panika MCD

          how about this: email me in the next couple minutes.

          panikamcd at yahoos

      • mancityRed6

        that doesn’t explain why they went to Lawrence a few years ago.

      • Werewolf

        Sounds fun, but Fridays are problematic in general, and especially the beginning of Yom Kippur.

  • Panika MCD

    dear Wonketariate,

    I want to get Werewolf, Fartknocker and chascates to join Walter, Johnatx and I at the TribTalk this Friday. help me convince them it’s worth coming! (Jenny is exempt for strategic parenting purposes.)

    • proudgrampa

      I have no idea what this is, but those dudes should definitely go. That would be a par-TAY!

      • Panika MCD

        the Texas Tribune has a series of talks (in addition to TribFest). this one will be with the hilarious Dem, TX A&M Chancellor, Harvey recovery czar and Mr. Bean lookalike John Sharp. it’s free, they just need to reserve a seat.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Mention there will be punch and pie.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    You know, New Yorkers, there’s nothing stopping us from staging a Trixless drinky thing of our own. Nothing but a lack of WILL.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      And jobs, family, etc.

    • puredog

      And lack of Trix. Trix is a necessary element, so that we may bow down in person. I know I did.

    • Meccalopolis

      I’m in

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Seems each TrumpPenceZee is getting in on the hypocrisy:

    https://twitter.com/justinjm1/status/912469392662855680

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Lock ‘am up.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Can we use the same cell for all of them?

        • puredog

          How about a phone booth with a hasp and padlock?

    • SayItWithWookies

      Hell, why not? They all knew their candidate harangued audience after audience about Hillary’s email — it would be offensive to their perception of impunity not to go out and do exactly the thing that was the center of their so-called moral outrage.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Aaaand now Chris Hayes is babbling about the fake health scandal during his interview with Hillary. Back to Monday Night Football!

    • I just want to reach into my computer and smack him

    • Three Finger Salute

      What health scandal? That Obamacare itself has stage 4 cancer and is on life support awaiting a peaceable demise?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Did anybody kneel? No snark, just curious.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Rumor mill has it Jerry Jones did, though I didn’t see it.

  • Nounverb911

    Donnie on the Cowboys in 1984 after passing on spending $50 million for the cowboys.
    https://twitter.com/darrenrovell/status/912475195142795264

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Donnie’s vaunted business acumen on display again…

      • Nounverb911

        He would have bankrupted them anyway….

        • JustDon’tSayKneel(OrNeil)

          Drat. You beat me to it.

    • aktlib101

      With Donnie in charge, Cowboys would have become the first bankrupted NFL franchise. So, win/win?

    • John Norris

      Has any NFL team gone bankrupt? I sincerely believe the Cowboys would have been bankrupt by 1990 if #45 had bought the team. I also believe the DC Cheerleaders would have busted his ass if he had walked into their locker room when they were changing.

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Probably have to go back to the days of the Pottsville Maroons and the Frankford Yellow Jackets.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      So he spent 1/10th that amount to buy the New Jersey Generals instead to force a merger. Typical Donnie behavior – do things on the cheap and try to bluster his way to the top.

    • wavicles

      Eh… it’s an art. Some got it, some don’t.

    • Arolpin

      Even at a 10% annual rate of return would only come out to $1.6 billion, so 3-times the value of a very good investment. I guess Jerry Jones is a lot smarter than Drumpf. (And I normally compare JJ’s intellect to stumps and rocks.)

  • Suse

    Hubby just called me. “Whatcha do today?” Er… um…

    • Meccalopolis

      Winking is productive or at least cathartic

  • Nounverb911
    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Mmmm, curry.

    • Suse

      I’m afraid we will never have another black president in my lifetime, nor a woman, nor a Jew, nor anyone but a white WASP guy.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Yup. America does really badly with precedent-setters. Heck, we’ve had how many Catholics since Kennedy? Which is why the Democrats floating Harris, Patrick, Franken or other “others” are making a yuge miscalculation about the mindset of the electorate. Gerrymandering, voter suppression and other malfeasance will put a kibosh on that hope for the “coalition of the ascendant” diversifying the leadership class for a long, long time. We’re on track to becoming an apartheid state.

      • HazooToo

        I will be angry as fuck if there isn’t a woman on the Democrat primary ballot every single election until we take it.

        • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

          Kamala Harris, anyone?

          • HazooToo

            With a Gillibrand VP.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Throw the bums out!!!!

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      That’s awesome.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • YoBunnyBunny

      Oh em muthafuckin’ gee…

      I was NOT expecting THAT…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    In certain Baltic regions, the word “Gowdy” means “little turd that clings to cat buttocks”
    https://twitter.com/samstein/status/912412541426511877

    • DrBigHead

      What an asshole….

    • Christopher Story

      Of course not, it would’ve compromised the voracity of his Hillary witch hunt.

  • SisterArtemis

    We’re open-threading, right? Someone shared this on my face place.
    “If a player wants the privilege … of making millions of dollars in the NFL or other leagues, he or she should not be allowed to disrespect our Great American Flag or Country.” -Donald Trump

    A response from Nance Greggs:

    “If an Idiot wants the privilege of living in our White House, he shouldn’t disrespect it by calling it ‘a dump’.

    If a traitor wants the privilege of working in the Oval Office, he shouldn’t disrespect it by using it to convey classified information to our Russian enemies in ‘secret meetings’ behind closed doors.

    If an incoherent blowhard wants the privilege of addressing the UN, he shouldn’t disrespect it by threatening to destroy another country, or referring to their leader by a silly nickname.

    If a draft-dodger wants the privilege of being the commander-in-chief of our military, he shouldn’t disrespect them by putting them in harm’s way to salve his own ego, or telling them that their sexual orientation makes them unfit to serve.

    If an ignorant dumbass wants the privilege of being treated with respect by world leaders, he shouldn’t disrespect them by not even bothering to learn the names of their countries.

    If a lazier-than-fuck con-artist wants the privilege of working for his countrymen, he shouldn’t disrespect them by spending his days tweeting, watching TV, and playing golf.

    If an obvious racist wants the privilege of being our nation’s leader, he shouldn’t disrespect it by calling a black athlete a “son-of-a-bitch”, or calling white supremacists “fine people”.

    If an immature bully wants the privilege of being seen as an adult, he shouldn’t disrespect it by tweeting gifs of hitting Hillary Clinton with a golf ball, or falsely accusing his predecessor of having “tapped his wires”.

    If a blatantly stupid ignoramus wants the privilege of being in charge of the government, he shouldn’t disrespect it by not knowing how it works, and not bothering to educate himself.

    If a know-nothing jerk-off wants the privilege of holding the highest position in the land, he shouldn’t disrespect it by acting like a low-life thug at home, and a ridiculous buffoon on the world stage.

    If a self-serving narcissist wants the privilege of being POTUS, he shouldn’t disrespect the office by lying, lying, and lying again – repeatedly and unabated – to the citizens he has sworn to serve.

    If a shit-for-brains moron wants the privilege of being called “the leader of the free world”, he shouldn’t disrespect that title by trying to diminish the freedoms of his own citizens.

    If a classless imbecile wants the privilege of enjoying the perks of the presidency, he shouldn’t disrespect that by pocketing profits from the sale of his own POTUS-labelled merchandise, charging the taxpayers for housing his SS entourage while he plays golf at his own resorts, and using donations to his “re-election fund” to pay the fees of lawyers who are desperately trying to keep him out of prison.

    When it comes to any suggestion that anyone is being “disrespectful” of our flag or the country it represents, one need look no further than the Idiot-in-Chief who has shat on both every single day of his tenure in office.”

    • Suse

      Ooh – I like this person.

      • gallbladder

        Just heading out to buy them some of those cakes that they like.

      • HooverVilles

        Me too!

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Cigarette, if you please.

    • DrBigHead

      I’m going to have to lie down with cool washcloth on my forehead after reading that

      • Suse

        I’ll get the salts for you. Shall I peel you some grapes?

    • Christopher Story

      I need to comment on this so I can find it in my disqus later

    • Paperless Tiger

      Good answer!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • CindyinEncinitas

      This is good. I will remember this for a long time.

  • Left Coast Tom

    Nice Time…Sunset from the Pear Lake Ski Hut in Sequoia NP, April 2014.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/722c2ab7684b0b5be376e88f95b168a9e0bf13c76259042b204a7908099c25ff.jpg

  • Lord Jim

    RTd by one of our undead regulars – ought to be shouted from the rooftops.
    https://twitter.com/samstein/status/912412541426511877

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Just as soon as they get done investigating Hillz they are sure to get right on it.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Cray-Cray Trey and Nunes are on the list I’m sure. You’ll get your Mueller time, Trey, no worries.

  • Jennifer R
    • Elvis Causticfellow

      That made me feel warm and happy.

    • gallbladder

      Bliss.

    • If you can still shoot video…your phone isn’t broken enough

    • She should have maced him

    • Lord Jim

      “Video Not Displayed. This video has been removed in response to a report by the copyright issue.”

      • Jennifer R

        Still resolves for me.

    • LadyLaz

      Sad that the video won’t play. I hate baked Alaska

  • If you come to NYC, I’ll buy you a delicious spleen sandwich at Ferdinando’s Focacciaria in Brooklyn.

  • WIDTAP

    Today Ken Burns quotes a famous politician:

    “When the strongest nation in the world can be tied down for … years in a war ….;

    When the richest nation in the world can’t manage its own economy;

    When the nation with the greatest tradition of the rule of law is plagued by unprecedented lawlessness;

    When a nation that has been known for a century for equality of opportunity is tom by unprecedented racial violence;

    And when the President of the United States cannot travel abroad or to any major city at home without fear of a hostile demonstration—then it’s time for new leadership for the United States of America.”

    – Richard Nixon

    • Gosala

      Sorry, no. Nixon was a twat waffle. End. Of. Story.

      “When the strongest nation in the world can be tied down for … years in a war ….”; it means we’re doing it wrong. Nixon, of course, prolonged the war until it was impossible to continue it. Then he cut and ran and honor be damned.

      “When the richest nation in the world can’t manage its own economy;” he’s lying again. The economy was fine until he refused to raise taxes to tamp down inflation. His response? Wage and price controls, which which never worked in any capitalist economy, never will and can’t.

      “When the nation with the greatest tradition of the rule of law is plagued by unprecedented lawlessness;” — dog whistle, “The blacksies is acting up” (See also Southern Strategy)

      “When a nation that has been known for a century for equality of opportunity is tom by unprecedented racial violence;” — unprecedented indeed! What was unprecedented was blacks refusing to accept the injustice of segregation and prejudice — though the refusal was largely peaceful. What was completely normal was violence by whites to keep the darkies down.

      “And when the President of the United States cannot travel abroad or to any major city at home without fear of a hostile demonstration—then it’s time for new leadership for the United States of America.” — fair dinkum, mate, but Nixon, as history revealed, was more of the same only worse.

    • Serai 1
  • SterWonk

    Oh Trixel, why don’t you love SFBA Wonkers? Last time around, some of us even put food on (the face of the then-youngest member of) your family!

  • Nounverb911
    • Left Coast Tom

      So…is he planning to help rescue them, or is he planning to lecture them via Twitter?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Who took his phone this time?

    • Christopher Story

      Must’ve just gotten laid. Or those sedatives Alex Jones told us about are kicking in. (I know, I know, who would fuck Trump?)

    • Paperless Tiger

      Speaking of massive debt, let’s have a look at those tax returns.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Speaking of massive debt, how about changing Federal law to allow Puerto Rico to file municipal bankruptcy, as states can?

        • Christopher Story

          Because then the developers can’t come in and buy up all the condemned properties. Why give a bunch of Natives a bunch of money when they don’t even know how to use the land right? Golf courses and condominiums.

        • jesterpunk

          Why do you hate capitalism?

          https://thelily.com/why-would-anyone-in-puerto-rico-want-a-hurricane-because-someone-will-get-rich-cd1b2dc35228?gi=8b69742f7f3b

          Among those I interviewed this summer about Puerto Rico’s economic crisis was a local wealth manager who was extremely upbeat about the economic climate. Anticipating government default, she had redirected her clients’ assets toward U.S. stocks. Investments in the wake of President Trump’s election had been doing very well, she said, adding, “The only thing we need now is a hurricane.” She was referring to how such natural disasters bring in federal money for rebuilding and often become a boon to the construction industry. As I left her office, she encouraged me to buy stock in Home Depot.

          • Left Coast Tom

            I guess the investment advisor was wrong about hurricanes bringing in federal help from L’il Donnie. Maybe she should complain about that.

          • jesterpunk

            Rachel was saying last week that before they can even begin to rebuild they have to pay off the investors. So unless Trump does something about that the island is fucked. They owe a few million just to the energy investors. You’re right though the only way they are getting out of this is if they can declare bankruptcy then rebuild with help from the federal government.

    • PersianOregano

      To me he sounds pleased by the destruction

      • Jamoche

        He’s got fellow real estate grifters just lining up to go exploit them.

      • miss_grundy

        Well, he hates Hispanics as much as he hates the blahs.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        It’s just another way for him to denigrate us.

    • Suse

      Apostrophe abuse! Okay, I’m a grammar notzee, but there a many fine people amongst us.

      • Lord Jim

        Donnie loves to bloviate on the misfortunes of others.

    • Panika MCD

      could he quit bragging about the destruction? or is he now comparing PR to FL and TX because he thinks PR is another country?

      • miss_grundy

        Welp, they speak Spanish there so he probably thinks its another country.

        • Panika MCD

          there are over 400 languages spoken in Houston–including lots of Spanish. seems like he managed to be convinced that it was still part of Murika even though they didn’t vote for him.

          • Left Coast Tom

            In fact the state’s name, itself, is Spanish (though with a “j” in place of the “x”).

            As is California’s name. “California”, of course, got its name as the fictional realm of the Amazonian Queen Califia, in de Montalvo’s somewhat trashy “Las Sergas de Esplandian“.

            L’il Donnie seems surprisingly unable to identify with us, despite his affection for the trashy. You’d think he’d be better able to identify with residents of the “Rich Port”.

          • Panika MCD

            WE’RE FRIENDLY!

    • Nounverb911
      • OrG

        NO, THEY’RE NOT

      • Nounverb911

        Okay so nothing until they pay back wall street?

      • Panika MCD

        oh. ffs.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Ah, Puerto Rico is “in deep trouble” but its “top priorities” are “doing well” (apparently contra virtually all reporting…).

      • gallbladder

        Get the fuck outta here.

      • bbayliss

        Whaaat? forget the fucking $$$$$ for 2 fucking minutes you fuck.

      • miss_grundy

        Are the food, water and medical doing well or are the priorities doing well? Dang, he can’t even write a tweet well.

    • aktlib101

      So, Dotard Dolt, whatcha gonna do ’bout it? Sit on your fat ass and tweet? Or we’ll let them die ’cause they speak Spanglish and have brown skin?

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Nounverb911
      • Meccalopolis

        Horrifying

      • Parakeetist

        NO

      • LadyLaz

        I am going to have fucking nightmares cause I am one of those people squicked by holes.

      • Serai 1

        Adblock is your friend.

      • Three Finger Salute

        h/t Shanz

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f926e7fc2bff8ae17008e0803385d36315d4e15ea5fc72c43c69fa6841bd3dcc.jpg

        Trypophobia is a thing, eh. Ugh, why isn’t there a Disqus setting to only block some images??

        • Nounverb911

          Use the ‘Minus’ button across from your avatar.

          • Three Finger Salute

            That just collapses the whole thread. When I hit refresh it comes up again.

      • guillermo del toro wants to talk.

    • Michael R

      They think brilliant and evil are the same thing .

      • Christopher Story

        When Bannon watches Star Wars, he roots for the Empire and weeps when Emperor Palpatine dies, whispering into his pillow “traitor.”

    • gallbladder

      I was just looking up the definition of “dumbfuck” in the dictionary…

    • I am fairly sure the only person in the UK more reviled than Farage is Piers Morgan

    • Panika MCD

      why are they outsourcing their support to other countries? is Russia in bed with Luther Strange?

      • OrG

        AOT,K

    • Christopher Story

      Now they’re just rubbing our faces in the Russia collusion.

    • Parakeetist

      Hey look, two pieces of trash!

    • BadKitty904
      • SisterArtemis

        tbh, I don’t think either of those characters has a patch on evil old Baron H from the books – he was smarter than either, he was better dressed and coifed, and had a better sense of strategy and politics. Never liked the film depiction of the Baron, because I thought it trivialized how evil and well thought out his plans were in the original novel. Not that he wasn’t a disgusting character, but somehow MORE evil than his film representation or Bannon, who thinks he’s more important and intelligent than he is.

    • aktlib101

      If your political thinking qualities are to promote selfishness and destroy cooperation at international level, you are not “greatest political thinker” but just a sorry asshole, who was given a platform by the Asshole in Chief, who himself was elected by other racist assholes.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Wow. That’s like being called the “world’s tallest man” by the president of the Lollipop Guild.

    • miss_grundy
      • so much better times.

        i hate now.

    • cmd resistor

      So much creepiness.

    • TJ Barke

      Farage wouldn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground, and couldn’t find it with both hands and a flashlight.

  • wavicles

    YAYS! California’s coast!

  • Ninja0980
    • OrG

      STFU ASSHOLE

    • HazooToo

      FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT YOU FAT ARROGANT SON OF A BITCH

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        ^^ THIS ^^

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        That shit gave me heart palpitations! For fuck’s sake, can we impeach this asshole already! Carajo y puñeta!

    • puredog

      Why, oh why, can we not hitch Drumpf to a sharknado?

      • SisterArtemis

        That’s an excellent idea, except for the part where the ‘nado dumps its contents on some unsuspecting city….

        • YoBunnyBunny

          Moscow?

          My apologies to the Moscow citizens who have had nothing to do with the shenanigans.

      • jesterpunk

        Did you see the movies? If you do that then you have nuclearnado with Trump inside of it.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      And instead of doing something about that trouble we are . . .?

    • gallbladder

      Worst. Disclaimer. Ever.

    • TJ Barke

      What a piece of shit, no disrespect to shit…

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Already setting up his alibi for when people start dying. No snark – that’s exactly what the worthless, contemptible, craven son of a bitch is doing.

      Fuck Trump.

    • Panika MCD

      WE ARE NOT, YOU FUCKING TURD.

    • therblig

      pretty sure trumpy suffers from broken infrastructure and massive debt. eventually, puerto rico will improve.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      No real difference between the President of the United States and a crazy guy in a movie:

      https://youtu.be/lwx2ce_AyOE

      • jesterpunk

        Crazy guy in Braveheart Libelz

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Victim-blaming. Swell.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      This fucking piece of shit.

    • miss_grundy

      I am sure Puerto Ricans would tell him “Vete pa’ casa del carajo, comemierda!”

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Doesn’t that mean PR needs even more support from you since they were already suffering, you piece of human garbage?!

      https://i.amz.mshcdn.com/FCP-M5EriZwBy9jJnZnVh7Liuak=/fit-in/1200×9600/http%3A%2F%2Fmashable.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F06%2FJack-Nicholson.gif

      • TJ Barke

        They’re suffering, so they deserve to suffer. Self fulfilling prophecy…

    • you’re the fucking president you nitwit.

      sorry dotard.

  • LadyLaz

    Let me know when you come east again. I totes will get drunk with you all.

    • Parakeetist

      I’m drunk right now.

  • BadKitty904
  • Ok…this is non-comment number 30, 000. Perhaps a sign i should get a life….but that ain’t gonna happen.

    I would attend one of these beach bum parties if they did not involve a plane trip.

    • SisterArtemis

      But this IS a life! A rather entertaining one, don’t you think?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yay! Please imagine a celebratory gif with balloons, ticker tape, and happy time music.

      Oh wait, I do know how to happy time music.

      https://youtu.be/8Lu41LulQos

  • Serai 1
  • Holly

    OK. So it’s been better than two fucking – going on three fucking weeks of being fucking sick. I’m so fucking tired of this virus that’s been holding me hostage!!!1!!!!1!111! I blame the Orange Fuck Head for all the stress that he’s been putting us through and had my immune system so fucked up that I wound up in the hospital on Friday. So fuck this and fuck the Orange Fuck Head. It’s all completely his fault and I curse him every minute of every day. Thank you for listening to a sick whiny ass old lady. I’m done. I do feel better now though….

    • bbayliss

      I’m sick too, thought I was gonna croak, now I’m just well enough to bitch about how crappy I feel.
      Hope you get well soon.

      • Holly

        Feel better and I send you light and love – because chicken soup isn’t possible.

        • bbayliss

          thanks, I’ve got the soup covered, your light and love are welcomed and appreciated more than you know.

    • OutOfOrbit

      any time. your welcome

    • SisterArtemis

      If I could send you health, I would. In the meantime, if venting here (or anywhere) helps, keep on with it!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      FWIW, I’m a whiny ass old lady myself. Vent away!

      • Holly

        Nobody can whine with as much gusto as we can my darlin’. Years of practice is what’s needed to distill the essence of a good whine.

        • Holly

          Paul here, I stole her laptop. May I just say “Yes dear, I agree.”

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Rightly so.

    • Gosala

      Sorry to be a busybody, but if it’s gone on this long, it might be bronchitis or even pneumonia. (I only say because that’s what happened to me)

      Either way, check it out. It’s not something to screw around with.

      • Holly

        Thanks. I was in the hospital on Friday and they did the obligatory chest xray and blood panels etc. No pneumonia but bronchial inflammation that’s indicative of bronchitis. I’m on the mend now but tired and cranky as shit.

    • Meccalopolis

      Feel better

    • shivaskeeper

      Unplug for a while. We’ll hold it together till you get back. Stress will wipe your immune system far faster than you would think possible.

    • Lord Jim

      You definitely have a point about Trump assaulting our coping mechanisms.

  • Nounverb911

    AHA! The plot plotzes then thickens…
    https://twitter.com/williamlegate/status/912482183075422208

    • BadKitty904

      Or waiting to buy the entire island cheap, once the survivors are dead due to lack of federal aid?

  • jesterpunk
    • OrG

      But this asshole HASN’T grown up.

      • gallbladder

        Never will.

      • jesterpunk

        He has gotten taller and older.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          And wider.

          • jesterpunk

            I was trying to behave and not mention that.

          • kareemachan

            And smaller in many areas.

      • HooverVilles

        Biglyist example of arrested development ever. Pardon the use of someone else’s best word.

    • Serai 1

      That never sounded ideal to me. There were too many people I’d never want to see in the White House.

  • Rick Hill

    trump really has his ass in a sling, he’s too stupid to know it
    http://33.media.tumblr.com/e6f4d16d9da529c4a085d71c730e3ca4/tumblr_nuw0z2THxp1s02vreo1_500.gif

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Thank you for that disturbing image.

    • Ling Ling

      This could be at my house. Donkeys are great pets. Trumpolini not so much.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      (Very cute) ass in sling libelz!!!!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Okay, the cat story was the weirdest fucking story so far in Vietnam. Also credible, because I’m not sure if a person could make that up.

    • NorthernSaber

      If It’s about the cat from Hue City, yep, that happened…

      • SayItWithWookies

        Don’t think it was the one you’re thinking of — this was just a small anecdote that was just really weird and indicative of how twisted everyone had become.

        • NorthernSaber

          OK. Sorry- I’m watching it now but had been watching the Red Sox so missed what you saw. Will have to record it later, I guess.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/912479500511965184
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/912481556127780865

    What kind of a fucking MONSTER tweets about a natural disaster of this magnitude and reminds the victims of how much fucking MONEY THEY OWE!???!!???

    This motherfucker should be put in a goddamn bottle and sent out on the Japanese current.

    (RIP Hunter)

    • TJ Barke

      Wall street parasites were draining them dry with a debt trap, and that’s their fault?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “They shoulda lived in Real America instead.”

    • wow.

      that’s amazing.

      he must be feeling the pressure from all the neg coverage he’s gotten today about ignoring PR.

      what an asshole is our president.

      • SayItWithWookies

        He can’t admit something needs to be done without casting aspersions on some other party at the same time. Like when he announced that he concluded that President Obama had been born in the US and then declared it was Hillary who had brought up the issue in the first place.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I hate that fucker

    • TJ Barke

      Worst president in American history.

      • OrG

        By far.

        • Lord Jim

          Dead Richard Nixon is going “Oh FFS, that was uncalled for!”

    • This is even worse than his ignoring PR.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        It really is. I feel like I need to take a shower after reading that.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Congress passed a law against PR declaring bankruptcy, and so saddled them with crippling debt. I’m not sure how they got ripped off into owing so much money — I saw something about bonds and loans out of control, but don’t remember the details — but his party was largely behind saddling Puerto Rico with this.

      • OrG

        And now for a little disaster capitalism.

      • Gosala

        Bad life choices, no doubt.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I remember this one from the ads aimed at Raul Labrador — irresponsible bankers let the incompetent Puerto Ricans spend All The Money on free electricity for rural ice skating rinks.

      • Paul

        Ever read “Confessions of an Economic Hit Man”?

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confessions_of_an_Economic_Hit_Man

    • kareemachan

      HEY, don’t diss Japanese currents.

    • Holly

      I read this and I was surprised at my own reaction. I didn’t think it was possible for this awful human (I use the word with regret and I apologize to the rest of humankind everywhere) to get any worse and yet here is the proof positive that he is without a doubt the worst of the worst of the fucking worst ever EVER!

    • RMKH

      As a Water Quality guy, I object to Japanese current pollution.

    • RMKH

      What kind of monster? That kind of monster. He is a Colossus, standing astride all other fucking assholes that went before him

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Well, there you go. Please do continue to kick us while we’re down, asshole. I have no words.

    • shivaskeeper

      Are those actually real? It’s hard if not impossible to tell these days.

      • shivaskeeper

        Disregard. It appears they are real. I got nothing for this.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Real. Straight from his own Twitter feed.

    • Lord Jim

      It’s his inauguration speech all over again. And, is it just me or is he slum-shaming them? “old electrical grid, which was in terrible shape”. Yeah PR, you were a fucking dump to start with and now, hey, look at all this. Way to kick ’em while they’re down. I seriously want to violate the Rules in most shocking ways. I won’t scream – I don’t think I could stop.

  • Rachel Book Harlot
    • Panika MCD

      I think someone down thread was trying to get an NYC crew together. maybe Evan will drive up or Robyn could drive over…

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I would definitely go to that.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Those would be very long drives!

        • OrG

          ROAD TRIP!

        • Panika MCD

          not as long as NYC to the West Coast…

          • Left Coast Tom

            True, but NYC to, at least the SF or LA portions of the west coast, typically has very cheap air fares with lots of competition. A couple years ago I spent a three-day weekend in NYC because the air fare was so absurdly cheap.

          • Panika MCD

            Chicago to NYC also too has pretty cheap flights.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        Cool! I’ll check out down thread. Thanks!

    • Rags

      Those of us in Ulan Bator are deeply disappointed. My yak has a sad.

      • SisterArtemis

        Well, think of the wonkers on Tattooine. Not everyday you can round up a cheap flight from Mos Iesley…

      • Left Coast Tom

        I actually have Mongolia on my “I’d like to travel someday” list, particularly the mountains in the northwestern corner.

        • Rags

          Have you read ‘Tuva or Bust!’ ? It’s great.

  • Nounverb911
    • Christopher Story

      Hey, I said it first! Oh well, great minds and all that…

  • FDRliberal

    Pretty rich to see the Orange Scumbag criticizing people for owing billions of dollars to banks.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/912481556127780865

    • RMKH

      You’re doing a heck of a job Brownie. Oh, wait, I was having another one of those flashbacks

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain
    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      He could probably be a little bit more if a dickish, heartless, rambling bastard if he put some effort into it, but not by much.

    • Paperless Tiger

      He sounds like he’s foreclosing on them.

    • kareemachan

      so…. what about Puerto Rico, fuckwad?

  • RMKH

    So is this the OT?? Asking for a friend

    • BadKitty904

      I asked the same thing, but got no answer. *pout*

      • cmd resistor

        Upthread says yes

    • Ricky Gay

      Came to ask same thing!

    • jesterpunk

      We have seized the means of producing an open thread and made this into the open thread.

    • Panika MCD

      we are all out of vegan babby buttholes, clown dick pics and pants.

      and then the masturbation began.

      • Ricky Gay

        Into the cakes we like!

        • SisterArtemis

          That’s a lot more difficult for us wimmen-folk

          • Ricky Gay

            Lean into it!

          • SisterArtemis

            It doesn’t exactly vibrate like a washing machine, you know

          • Ricky Gay

            No purring?

          • OutOfOrbit

            you must be doing it wrong

          • Ricky Gay

            How-to or lifehack video?

        • Panika MCD

          I’m saving them for ATX Wonks who show up for the TribTalk on Friday AM.

          • Ricky Gay

            Clique!!!

          • Panika MCD

            just a place, man!

          • Ricky Gay

            Don’t make me go wolf tracker on yo ass!1

          • Panika MCD

            I may be 1/4 Swedish, but I’m not blonde and I have no facial hair to steal!

          • Ricky Gay

            Which quarter?

          • Panika MCD

            the boobyknocker part! (actually, my boobs are from my Scotch Irish quarter. somehow my full Swede grandmother was neither curvy nor tall.)

          • Ricky Gay

            I like the cut of your jib!

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            1/4 Norwegian checking in, he can steal the weird quarter size beard I apparently grow now. It kinda fun to pluck TBH.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            I was telling my Fiancé who grew up in Brownsville, about the proper Texas woman legislator who was discussing anal sex with the religious crazies (“but what if my husband slips?”). I saw it on YouTube somewhere. Texas women take no prisoners. He said he’d grown up with that.

          • Panika MCD

            it was on the Dildo Diaries. Warren Chisholm ran for Land Commissioner in 2014 and had an implied Chaney to all the voters in his commercial.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            We are very cliquish around here.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Cakes we like and pants are mutually exclusive

      • OutOfOrbit

        count me intoit

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        When women folks start wearing pants, trouble ensues.
        Everyone, get out of your pants now!

        • Ricky Gay

          Done

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Found some great non pants from Lands End. Starfish Pants that kind of look like jeans. And they fit. Wouldn’t have been caught dead in them a few years ago but you won’t pry me out of them now. Gawd I’m an Old.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Thai fisherman pants did it for me. Also sari pants, because I’m sorry I haven’t been wearing them for ever

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’ve been working on that assumption. And I haven’t been chastised yet.

      • RMKH

        We only chastise you when it’s not really you

  • Ricky Gay

    All hail open thread! DJT is bad and he should feel bad! (But he won’t)

  • Ling Ling

    Did they have Monday night sportsball yet? What did the players do for opening ceremony?

    • Nounverb911
      • Ling Ling

        Haha! Thank you!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Jerry Jones?!?!! First time I’ve ever liked him.

      • TJ Barke

        What’s with all these motherfucking unamerican football fans?

        • OrG

          In Dallas?

          • TJ Barke

            What is with these unamerican bastards that don’t fucking respect the first amendment? These fascists need to go fuck themselves up a flagpole.

          • shivaskeeper

            False assumption. You are assuming they have read the 1s Amendment and understood what it means.

            The reality is they have not read it and just make up what they think it should mean in the rat’s nest they use for brains,

          • TJ Barke

            We should ship all out of ‘Merica!

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Flag fetishism.

      • Paperless Tiger

        Damn. The Resistance got game.

      • RMKH

        If Trump was LBJ, he’d say, “If I’ve lost Jerry Jones, I’ve lost the country.”. But he’s not LBJ. He’s not even LBJ’s toejam.

      • DainBramage

        They stood during the anthem though.

      • FDRliberal

        Gawd, even Jerruh is opposing Trump. Thumbs up to the Cowboys from this longtime Giants fan.

        • ANNG14

          The Cowboys have proven this was not about the flag/National Anthem, with taking a knee before the Anthem was played and still got booed. This is about race.
          Trump also down on basketball players because Steph Curry refused Trump’s invite to the WH. I wanted to be sure you saw this Greg Popovich (coach if the San Antonio Spurs) quote. It’s just great!

          “We all know the situation and it gets beaten up every day by talking heads, it starts to get personal. I think we all know why, we all know who the source where a lot of the division comes from, but to dwell on that is sometimes I think is the wrong way to go, because it’s so obvious now. It’s boring. The childishness, the gratuitous fear mongering and race baiting, has been so consistent that it’s almost expected. The bar has been lowered so far that I think it’s more important to be thinking about what to do in more organic roots based level. Thinking about the efforts to restrict voter registration, comments that demean cultures, ethic groups, races, women. Those sorts of things. What can be done in an organic way to fight that?”
          Greg Popovich … nailed it, POP!

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        I love how he has to add that “boos were heard in crowd”. But were there cheers and applause also? If so, he seems to have forgotten to mention that.

      • Sister Suffragette

        “Before” the anthem?

        BTW, as far as I can tell the Redskins organization put out the worst, most weaselly statement in this entire affair. As a lifelong Redskins fan (well, until a few years ago, when I stopped watching football because of the brain damage), I was deeply, deeply ashamed. But not surprised, Dan Snyder, you asshole.

    • Covfefe

      I take it that you, Ling Ling, as a good Trumpiesta, are boycotting the football. Otherwise, why would you have to ask?

      • Ling Ling

        Ling Ling not give a hoot about sportsball (never sat through an entire episode), but I do enjoy tweaking Trumpolini.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        “Concussion Ball” and yeah, I’m not thrilled that my short person goes to a Big Ten school :(

      • SisterArtemis

        Why are you thinking Ling Ling is a Trumper?

        • Covfefe

          Donald told us to boycot the NFL. If Ling Ling doesn’t know whether they took a knee tonight, Obvs, she’s joined Donald’s boycot. Unless you have some other kind of explanation, which she says she does.

          • SisterArtemis

            I don’t think that was a good assumption to jump to. There are a lot of people who wouldn’t know because they don’t watch the games. Not everyone follows football, me included, and when it comes to sportsball stuff I want to know about, sometimes I does the googles, sometimes I asks me friends. This seems to me to be the case with Ling Ling.

      • Catstro

        I’m still boycotting the football because a) Kaep is still blackballed and b) even if someone gave him a job, the latest CTE studies are so horrifying that I’ve given up watching a game I used to enjoy very much. So I don’t know this non-commenter, but some of us are boycotting for other reasons.

  • Nounverb911
  • kareemachan

    I’m still PO’ed that my knee made me miss the get-together in Anacortes. Crapola.

    • RMKH

      We had Quality over Quantity at Washington Park. Very high quality. Very high…

    • SisterArtemis

      Where are you? Maybe you can hook up with your fellow wonkers at our Eugene one? I know it would be a drive, but still….

  • Me not sure

    Bad news today on the cancer front. They found cancer in my wife’s left ureter. Until we get the biopsy back in about a week we won’t know if her breast cancer has metastasized to her ureter or if it is some other form of cancer. The doctor who did today’s surgery says ir doesn’t appear to have the physical
    characteristics of bladder cancer, but that he can’t be sure until the biopsy results come back next Wednesday.

    • bbayliss

      All my condolences.

    • LadyLaz