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Wolfman don’t know Jack

Yr Wonkette has been playing a game of Whack-A-Troll for the last week, and while we normally wouldn’t feed a troll’s ego by giving any attention to them in your Sunday Shitferbrains, we figured we might as well this time. And because Yr Editrix told us to “please do an extry special Shitferbrains,” and as a lackey of running-dog capitalist imperialists, who are we to disobey our overlord. Overlady?

We have no idea who this person is or where they are, since they’re clearly using a spoofed email address and some sort of Internet Magic to hide their tracks, but he started out as “Wolf Tracker,” a seemingly ordinary commenter with a contrarian streak who argued — from a purportedly progressive perspective — that removing Confederate monuments would be a very bad thing for education because statues of Confederate generals are a great conversation starter for discussions of the evils of slavery.

When John McCain said he might just vote for Graham-Cassidy, which would blockgrant federal funds for the ACA and Medicaid while deeply cutting both, “Wolf Tracker” explained that blue states ought to get behind the idea, since it would be a great way to set up statewide single-payer systems. No matter how many times people (including yr Dok Zoom) pointed out that Graham-Cassidy would actually cut funding deeply, especially to blue states, “Wolf Tracker” insisted that he was pretty sure that was only the first draft of Graham-Cassidy, and why condemn it when we don’t know what’s really going to be in it? As we said at the time, sure! And maybe the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party won’t actually eat our faces.

Things blew up weird in last week’s story about the “incels” (“involuntarily celibate” MRA dudes) who are angry with women wearing tights or yoga pants just to torment the poor lads who are unable to get the sex they deserve. We aren’t quite sure why “Wolf Tracker” chose to go off the rails in that thread — if indeed it was a choice — but apparently it had something to do with people not agreeing with his insistence that incels aren’t real, or that “incels” are only kidding, so why is anyone bothering to think they’re anything to be concerned with, since, as he said, “It is snark and meme They do it for the lols.” We’ll confess we didn’t try to reconstruct the whole tedious argument, but “Wolf Tracker” did offer this explanation of why some woman had no reason to complain about being leered at:

Then maybe she shouldn’t dress like that in public work place?

I think what you mean is she just wanted to be oggled by some other men and probably the rich doctors she works with which was the point of that post.

There was also some defense of the act of “oggling” women — and men, of course, because “Wolf” is all for equality, because everybody does it — and to object to it is actually the worst sort of prudery, because liberated people just loooove them some sexual harassment:

Guess what- people oggle other people and so do you so stop denying it or by you a PRUDE T shirt.

Things got surreal, as “Wolf” started shifting identities, deleting his disqus account and starting new ones using other readers’ usernames and avatars (including “Doktorzoom King,” I’m so very honored) and then accusing anyone who looked at or mentioned WT’s comment history of “cyberstalking” and “harassing” him, because words don’t mean much of anything anyway. At one point, he decided to post a comment that we guess served as an Official Legal Notice that he was being victimized:

CEASE AND DESIST

Wolf Tracker (Wonkette Profile Name) 09 / 17 / 2017
USA

Dear Rebecca Schoenkopf and www.wonkette.com owner,

On 9/16/2017 and 09/17/2017 I was the subject of continued cyber harassment and cyber stalking by individuals that are members of your Wonkette website forum on www.wonkette.com forum. Wonkette owner/employees Rebecca Schoenkopf and Doktorzoom (fictitious name) have been notified of this continued harassment and have neglected or refused to address it to keep me and other members safe.

Doktorzoom has facilitated the harassment and openly with his comments in the forum which have been captured for evidence.

I am a member of the Wonkette website and have followed the rules and contacted the owner/employees and still this stalking and harassment has continued causing me to suffer severe depression, loss of sleep, anxiety and has triggered a PTSD episode among other health issues.

I have kept a record of the members involved in the stalking and harassment and their forum comments for legal proceedings.

Those members (by Wonkette/Disqus profile) include but are not limited to:

[usernames redacted — Dok]

We will be seeking the members legal names from Disqus and Wonkette for further legal action.

Regards,
Wolf Tracker

For what it’s worth, I didn’t post with my fictitious name in that thread, since it was my day off. I had, however, asked another commenter (in the Graham-Cassidy thread) to please not call WT a rightwing troll. Apparently this is me “facilitating harassment”:

He IS excessively fond of being a contrarian for the sake of being a contrarian, and may be so open-minded that his brain may fall out, but he’s not a rightwinger as far as I can tell. Just very, very stubborn, and prone to argument for its own sake.

God, I’m a monster.

Then for a while, “Wolf Tracker” took to copying and then reposting others’ comments and replies with this Very Official Notice: “09/17/2017 copied for legal purposes,” and repeatedly copy-pasting a Wikipedia definition of cyberstalking (which, if you want to get technical about it, has nothing to do with “saying unkind things about another commenter in reply to them”).

“Wolf Tracker” also offered this summary of Why People Were Mean To Wolf Tracker:

Just want to make sure this gets seen by Dok and Rebecca:

Just in case anyone cares what all the hubub of the night crew is it is because I told the truth that the Incels are 4chan trolls and they use reddit for their snark and memes to rile people up.

First time I ever heard of them was here on Wonkette but a simple google shows that is what they are and I don’t agree with what they promote and it is stupid and immature like most 4chan stuff.

Chad Thundercock is a nickname for any attractive, popular men who are sexually successful with women. Similar to the term “Normies”, Chad and his female counterpart Stacy are often used as pejoratives by those who consider themselves nonconformists on 4chan’s /r9k/ board.

Know Your Meme

Oh and Dok and Rebecca please take look through the comments because you have a little group of friends that think they run wonkette and want to drive away anyone that doesn’t follow their agenda and that will also drive away people that donate and just want to read articles and share opinions without being hassled.

Pretty strange logic from someone who created multiple accounts, tried to impersonate others, and keeps coming back to warn us we’d all better behave ourselves or he’ll get his revenge, with endless scream shitting:

  • You like fucking with people?
    Me too- and I am going to fuck with you forever.
    Besties!
  • All the bad boys and girls get nasty medicine and here’s some for you and you and oh yes you too!
  • Only thing worse than the Incels is the man haters on Wonkette that think this place is their personal support group for men bashing.
  • Oh look- if you act all tough from behind your computer your fake friends will like you.
    Bend the knee bitch!
  • [said while using someone else’s name and avatar pic] You know what a real asshole is?
    Someone like you that pretends you can stalk and harass people online and then call them the asshole.
  • Speaking of Dok-where is that crusty old POS that allowed me to troll and stalk people on here?

Elsewhere, when I noted in comments that I’d removed the latest version of the troll, he was back almost immediately with another identity, and this reply, in which he advised us he Knows Where We Live (since we have it in our author profile):

How is that working for you?

Maybe what you need to do is post a public apology article for allowing a little group of man haters to take over the forum with the Wonkette rules clearly explained and then ban the little group on wonkette that thinks it is their personal support group for bashing men and then enforce your rules.
That should of course include a personal apology from you since you have encouraged that or is your mind so open your brains fell out?

Might want to run that idea past Rebecca because it would be damn shame if Wonkette was taken down with a law suit now wouldn’t it Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho.

As of this morning, we haven’t been served with that lawsuit for allowing man bashing.

Our Troll was back, several times and identities a day all week, at one point deciding to show us what horrible hypocrites we are for having used the “Naked fat guy at a computer” image that has only been kicking around the web since the late 2000s. You do have to appreciate the Oh The Humanity tone, at least:

Can’t wait for the next article on Wonkette- maybe you can go after Trig Palin again.

So is this how Wonkette rolls now- fat shaming people and being bullies?

You don’t know anything about this guy but is is OK to fat shame him on Wonkette right?

Doesn’t matter if he was a Veteran and has 20 kids and some of them are Gay and trans and black and he is a saint that supports orphans because hey he is sooo fat and that is all that matters to you so you can have a victim to make you feel better about your own pathetic lives.

Good job Wonkettes- you became the people you claim to hate!

Somehow, having our unspeakable hypocrisy pointed out lost its sting after the tenth or fifteenth repetition. Should we feel bad for bullying a decade-old picture of a guy who may be a saint, with many saintly children? We are very, very sad to have done that, by which we mean not at all.

Then trollboy saw someone had posted a comment with a P-E-N-I-S in it, and started complaining, repeatedly, about the “full on porn” that Wonkette was hosting, right where innocent children could see it. Some goofball who wasn’t the troll posted this pic, noting it was “Google image #14 for ‘Clown Dick'” (we have pixelated the naughty bits so no one will get the vapors:

Much of the rest of the week’s trolling involved variations on all the hardcore porn being posted at Wonkette, along with endless repetitions of this copypasted Law Talkin’:

18 U.S. Code § 1470 – Transfer of obscene material to minors

Whoever, using the mail or any facility or means of interstate or foreign commerce, knowingly transfers obscene matter to another individual who has not attained the age of 16 years, knowing that such other individual has not attained the age of 16 years, or attempts to do so, shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than 10 years, or both.

You are aware there are minors on this website and it has no age restrictions.

Gosh, we’re going to have to disappoint you there, Blitzed Wolfer: Even the unpixellated version of that image would get no more than an “R” rating from the MPAA (at most) and wouldn’t meet any American court’s definition of “obscene.” Silly and maybe a little grody, to be sure.

Also, even though the image isn’t obscene, it’s worth noting that the 1996 Communications Decency Act grants publishers of websites immunity from liability for materials posted by third parties — i.e., by commenters. No, Terrible Ones, that is not permission for you to post porn. And please, no more clown dicks.

In Saturday’s Top Ten post, Our Troll wanted to know Yr Editrix what sort of mother she thinks she is, considering all the rampant obscenity she allows on her website:

Rebecca: Does anyone know what he is talking about with the porn? Did someone show an ankle?

Troll, this time posting as “Say What?”:
Would you want your daughters to read and see what some of the members you are defending post?

Federal law prohibits the possession with intent to sell or distribute obscenity, to send, ship, or receive obscenity, to import obscenity, and to transport obscenity across state boarders for purposes of distribution. … For example, it is illegal to sell and distribute obscene material on the Internet.

You do understand you are facilitating that Federal crime if you do not moderate your forum right?

And so on. Frankly, we would love to see the FBI’s reaction to Our Decency Hero showing up with a formal complaint. Do it, man — but make sure you post the video of your visit to the local FBI office, OK?

Troll guy has also popped up to warn all of us to conform to his standards of what we ought to be saying on our own damn website, and insisting we not poke the bear and then complain about getting mauled. It’s really more tiresome than anything, and while there are measures we could take to make it more difficult for him to troll — like requiring moderation for all new commenting accounts — at the moment, we’ll continue to just Zot him with the Banhammer of Loving Correction (© and ™ John Scalzi) each time he shows up.

Our poor, misunderstood troll will probably drop by the comments today to sue us in the comments for defamation — not sure how it’s possible to defame someone who’s no more than a username — but we figure eventually he’ll get tired. If he does’t, we’ll consider other measures. When you guys see a new instance of Trollfella, it would probably be best just to flag and block him, but if you feed him, then he’s your problem. In general, our advice is: don’t poke the bore.

And of course, we’ll be waiting for that lawsuit.
Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click here to send us money for our legal defense fund. Or to facilitate the necessary day-drinking.

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  • bubbuhh
    • armed_bears

      That’s what she said.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I’m never gonna be in my bunk again!

      • Maggielle

        I laffed. Then I was sad. I’ll get over it.

    • major_asshole

      Sometimes, a nose is just a nose.

      And he has balls for a chin.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I vote yes since there’s clearly balls under that thing.

      • bubbuhh

        Two sets in fact. One tiny pair just under the nasal shaft and a more dangly pair down by the chinal area.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I never used to be afraid of clowns, but I’m getting there.

  • armed_bears

    My mental health seems ever so much slightly better now, at least by comparison. Thanks!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    When John McCain said he might just vote for Graham-Cassidy, which would blockgrant federal funds for the ACA and Medicaid while deeply cutting both, “Wolf Tracker” explained that blue states ought to get behind the idea, since it would be a great way to set up statewide single-payer systems.

    Oh yeah–that was the one who thought it would be OK if people died from not having healthcare in the meantime…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/750f79768b9569682def43ccf430773df219dc8a50a62edf90223a6e1eb60d2c.jpg

    • Just ignoring that Senator Kennedy from Louisiana slapped on an amendment preventing states from doing that.

      That was one of the things that drove me nuts back when the ACA was winding its endless way through Congress. A lot of the “kill the bill” group on the “progressive” side were saying that all the people who would die because of a lack of health insurance would be “martyrs to the cause.” Then got hurt when a lot of us said nasty things to them.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Bad takes, misogyny wrapped up in concern trolling, and a stubborn refusal to acknowledge or understand reality? Are we sure Wolf Tracker isn’t really Chris Cillizza? Maybe the “Wolf Tracker” was a Blitzer reference?

    • Hmm. He does share Cillizza’s insulated narcissism and ability to hold a grudge.

      • nothingisamiss

        I’m not sure Cilizza is that smart, tbh.

  • Swampgas_Man

    I believe he also became vociferous after someone posted a pic of a dragon banging a Mercedes.
    Like I said before, it’s all grist for the Dear-Shitforbrains column.

    • That’s just Steve from Pine Cove, California. He is a reawakened prehistoric seabeast. He’ll be fine when he goes back to nap time

    • oh no, he had been going on for at least 3 days before the dragon pic.
      That was just a total stfu

    • Red Richmond

      It was actually a Volkswagen Golf. /pedant

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Say, you know who else just wanted to be oggled by some other men?

  • wait! what?

    The trolling came to a painful end when Rebecca casually commented:

    “Is that my earing in your nose?”

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I love that commercial because it reminds me of oh so many exchanges of the same sort with my own teenage daughter.

    • Eileen Besse

      THIS THIS THIS THIS

  • bookish

    http://mashable.com/2017/09/23/nasa-katherine-johnson-langley/#J4mE.MU6rkqw

    Johnson cut the ribbon for the opening of the $23 million, 37,000 square foot research facility bearing her name. It consolidates five Langley data centers and more than 30 server rooms, and it will be used to enhance NASA’s efforts in modeling and simulation, big data, and analysis, NASA said in a statement.

    “Today all of these things seem inevitable,” Margot Lee Shetterly, the author of the book Hidden Figures, told the Guardian. “But without her past full of diverging roads and choices that made all the difference we would not be standing on the brink of this future.”

    • major_asshole

      This makes me happy. Like, genuinely happy.

    • gedjcj

      Happy Nice Time!

  • Ling Ling

    Where does one locate the “hard core porn” on Wonkette? Asking for a friend.

    • The Wanderer

      (whispers) The password is ‘Swordfish.’

      • SnarkON

        No, it’s “Kirby Delauter.”

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      And where does one locate “hard core porn” on the Internet?

      • Celtic_Gnome

        They collected it all into one Twitter account called @therealdonaldtrump.

    • Definitely not my Flickr photostream.

  • Joe Beese

    Is this a national thing? She’s bought billboards and right-wing radio ads here in the theocracy of Utah.

    Hi! I’m VICTORIA HEARST. My family’s company, the Hearst Corporation, publishes COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE, also known as COSMO. It contains PORNOGRAPHY such as:

    * Drawings of naked men and women in sexual positions.
    Photos of full rear male nudity.

    * Articles glorifying group sex, anal sex, married couples swinging parties, sex with strangers, and more.

    * A “Sex Q & A” section where female readers ask graphic sexual questions and receive graphic sexual answers.

    * A “Sex Toy of the Month” feature.

    COSMO seduces underage girls into reading the magazine by putting teen and “tween” idols on the cover, and by printing articles listing the best colleges to go to to have sex.

    MY “COSMO HURTS KIDS” CAMPAIGN IS NOT TRYING TO CENSOR THIS MAGAZINE OR PUT IT OUT OF BUSINESS. THE GOAL IS TO HAVE COSMO LABELLED “ADULT MATERIAL” SO THAT IT CANNOT BE SOLD TO ANYONE UNDER 18 YEARS OF AGE.

    https://www.cosmohurtskids.com/welcome/

    • Joe Beese
      • wait! what?

        I’d protest it too; but just because she’s been airbrushed to be creepy-thin and there’s that ridiculous obligatory thigh-gap thing going on…

        • Joe Beese

          “If there is no gap, men will not fap.”

          • Maggielle

            Just ruminating here, but if I were a guy, I think I’d be nervous about doing it with the petite, slender, light-boned girls like you see in Vogue ads (and who are probably about 13). Like, I wouldn’t want to break someone. I’d rather be with a warrior woman (I reference Wash and Zoe here), or someone who looks like Gabrielle Reece. I mean no disrespect to people of any size or shape, btw.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        If you penetrate it there is a good to fair chance you will have two half anorectic girlfriends.

      • Christopher Story

        Damn, the stuff I watch would give the poor darling a stroke.

    • Ling Ling

      I have not seen in California, and last week I went from San Diego to Shasta. Twice.

    • wait! what?

      The SLA approves of this message; just ask Patty.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Eh, I could go along with a compromise of it being labeled 18+ and requiring an I.D. to purchase it. Some of the stuff in that magazine is really racy, and I probably wouldn’t want my kids looking at it. As Joe pointed out below, though, she does kind of defeat her own argument by copying the pictures onto her own website.

      What happened to Patty though? She still alive? Robbing banks for Our Revolution nowadays?

      • Anna in PDX

        Like… kids are going to learn about sex. The only way to protect them from the awful commoditization of it is education, not censorship. The parents could be open about why Cosmo is promoting stupid impossible ideals of sexiness (psst it is so you will buy stuff) and go ahead and assume their kid is going to read it occasionally.

        • Maggielle

          I have a friend with three sons who were approaching That Age, and while she monitored their internet use, she finally gave in and bought them a Playboy magazine. But first she sat them down and explained how none of it is real: this is not how real human girls and women look like and act, that sex is a good thing, and that stuff like Playboy is sexualized entertainment, which is different from real life.

      • Querolous

        A friend in college grew up knowing PH. He said he had met fence posts that were smarter.

        • Maggielle

          I’m not surprised. Her earlier education was spotty, and she was living with a dull, creepy man named Stephen Weed who apparently considered it his duty to remind her she was an immature spoiled numbskull, and since they were engaged to be married, presumably he anticipated being able to control her wealth more easily. She has said that prior to the kidnapping she was depressed almost to the point of feeling suicidal. But I don’t think anyone would claim that she ever had the potential to excel intellectually.

      • Maggielle

        Technically, she reverted to being a fascist insect that preys upon the life of the people. But she moved back east, married her bodyguard (who died about a year ago from cancer) and has several daughters who have taken their places in modeling and elite society. She loves dogs and trains and shows them. She is so different from me, and I ought to dislike her, but I’ve read a lot about her, and I think she played a bad hand the best she could.

    • Swampgas_Man

      At BJ’s Wholesale Club, we had to keep Cosmo under a paper, lest offense-seeking eyes glance at the bewbies on the cover and faint dead away.

      • Joe Beese

        For a long time, my local supermarket did the same thing. Now they’ve got the SI Swimsuit Issue facing out, so it must be under new management.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/df9913eef16c002317703130a17ef1143769b0738d745b46828a0a4da9a080e8.png

        • That “swimsuit” looks like a macrame plant hanger. I want to put a spider plant in it.

      • Christopher Story

        Wait, you worked at a place called “BJ’s” who were embarrassed by Cosmo covers? My ironimeter just hit 11 and exploded.

        • Amy!

          Inorite?

          I started getting mailers from them, and would Boggle and Fall Down™ every time. “I’m not buying food at a store that advertises BJs!” thought I, even knowing that it prolly had nothing to do with spanking oral sex.

    • Christopher Story

      An independent woman going to college is pornographic to this crowd.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      The beauty of an anti-sex website is how easy it is for kids to find on their phones. The #1 hit for search for “porn in cosmo” is Best Porn Sites for Women – Free, Lesbian, and Gay … – Cosmopolitan.

    • bupkus231

      I dunno – Ms. Hearst seems to be over-compensating for something….

      Link: http://splinternews.com/who-is-victoria-hearst-the-heiress-hellbent-on-coverin-1793849802

      Hmm – religious fanaticism in response to an bad romance? Who’d thunk it was possible…

    • SnarkON

      Wel, she’s out of the will.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    This guy sounds like he might love flags without fringe. Maybe he should see if the Sovereign Citizens could help with his legal bills v Wonket.

  • Viktor

    He just outed himself, he’s an alt right troll. The whole “meme’s and such are just for laughs” is their tag line. And incels are celibate by choice? Ha, they are “celibate” because no woman on Earth would touch a dude like them IRL. My guess is Wolf is actually Milo, trying to claw back the 15 minutes of fame he once had, one forum comment at a time.

    • doktorzoom

      Actually, this guy is so consistently contrary that I’d go with “genuinely believes if people say they’re only doing for the lulz, then they are only doing it for the lulz.” He doesn’t seem to have enough actual commitment to any position to be alt-right.

      On the internet, nothing means anything. This dude’s an Omnitroll.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That was my take as well. Cross-grained motherfucker if there ever was one…dude just loves to be contrary.

        • folderol

          I disagree! — Wolf-pucky

      • Joe Beese

        There’s a particular strain of mental illness that expresses itself in phantasmal legal threats.

        (No Trump jokes, please. Oh, OK, go ahead.)

      • David Chaillou

        Is there a good bestiary of trolls somewhere? Species and habits, a Linnaeus thing?

    • Anna in PDX

      Incel ( autocorrect tried for “intel,” no no autocorrect that is wrong) stands for involuntary celibate doesn’t it? Seems that ought to settle the matter for them. They think it’s due to mean women not dating them and not to anything they say or do. All right wingers only understand agency as it applies to the objects of their resentment.

    • Red Richmond

      Nah, not Milo. Our running theory is that he’s Chris Cillizza. Obtuse, poorly conceived positions on almost everything. WT was said to steal beards and eyebrows and Cillizza has a hairline that desperately needs reinforcements. They’ve never been seen together in the same place. It all adds up.

  • bubbuhh

    I heard that Wolf Tracker’s blow up doll left him for a guy with a hog. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5ebea62d79e40cd89066d2fc15b3a956bdcad6a012206c1e7adc0fab16bb195d.jpg
    And then the murders began…

    • Three Finger Salute
    • Ling Ling

      That is a wonderful image. The guy is too skinny.

      • bubbuhh

        He got some special underwear to keep his hog under control

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I did not know that blow-up sex dolls were created by the Nazis until I watched a documentary.

    • Red Richmond

      Shame about all the bugs that are going to get caught in his doll’s mouth. Have fun with that bug butter lube, creep.

  • ManchuCandidate

    When reason fails and his contrarian bull shit winds blow, the lone troll wolf dies but the Wonk pack survives.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Guess what- people oggle other people and so do you so stop denying it or by you a PRUDE T shirt

    Guess what, WT: most of us learn to check people out discreetly, without causing a scene or making them uncomfortable, around the time we get our high school diploma. But thanks for playing!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eaff5ec33aaba15032c5a1aeb82f06b3387a63dae7437f1a5fe3965ca71efe40.jpg

    • Three Finger Salute

      I personally get squicky about PDA, which for me includes hand-holding in public. But I don’t shout “get a room” out the car window.” I mutter or think it privately to myself. That itself is the proper thing to do.

      • Anna in PDX

        Being subtle about our judging seems to be a lost art. They should have a class that includes some examples from Jane Austen and Dorothy Parker.

      • Maggielle

        I do too. Many years ago, I was lucky enough to score a ticket to see Taj Mahal at a small venue, the old Sweetwater bar in Mill Valley. Right in my line of sight, sitting at the next table, was a couple who sucked face the entire time. I just put up with it because I didn’t want to seem judgmental or prudish. Today, of course, I’d simply ask them to switch tables with me.

        • bobbert

          Sweetwater. What nice memories.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Personally, I really enjoyed his lunatic treatise on the physics of hurricanes. For those of you who missed it, it’s “just like billiards”.

    • suziq

      Yeah, not so much right wing, just random wing nut. And really annoying how quickly he would switch out the names with avatar to regulars.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I thought it was bowling balls?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I think it might’ve been both, actually…he went on about it a lot longer than I was willing to keep up with. Because, of course, heavy objects bouncing off one another is exactly how complex weather systems work.

  • dlemex

    I propose Overdame… shows proper deference.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Overtrix or GTFO

  • Three Finger Salute

    I wonder though, with net-neutrality on the chopping block, is the CDA also going to get flushed? Trump wants NFL owners to be forced to fire “disrespectful” players for having their frozen peaches and eating them too, without express written permission from the National Fascist League (aka Comrade Dotard). Or, they would face bigly consequences from Comrade Dotard for aiding and abetting our enemies (like “cop killing rappers,” but never “cop killing hicks” and certainly not “rapper-killing cops” or “rapper-killing hicks”) with material support for criminal dissidence.

    It wouldn’t surprise me, then, if he demanded that the owners of websites be remanded to prison for allowing users to post clown dick photos — especially if they had his face shooped on said pantsless clown. Lese majeste is a sin against a lesser majesty, don’t you know. Helping Czar Putin get the lesser majesty in power, of course, isn’t a crime. It’s something that’ll get Mark Zuckerberg the Medal of Freedom the Iron Cross.

    In all seriousness, though, do you think he could reshape the Internet in his own ugly image, now that net-neutrality is probably going to get axed? Such that 4chan, Breitbart, Voat, Gab, all these sites that give him nothing but fawning praise, would be given the fast lane, while Wonkette and maybe even the NFL website would get 451’ed?

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Wolf probably isn’t a right winger, but he’s the perfect example of the “outsider” political perspective. I’d bet a lot on him being a Paulbot turned Bernie Bro who ran smack into the fact that many on the left didn’t bend to his demands and herald The Chosen One as a demigod.

    • I figure he was a winger trying to appear “reasonable” by giving talking points using “liberal” language.
      Cause they think they can pull it off.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      I figured him for a berniebro because his first posts kept going on about the need for Dems to unite with liberals and progressives to fight Trump.

  • bookish

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/24/politics/cnn-poll-republican-party-approval/

    Fewer than three in 10 Americans — 29% — hold a favorable view of the Republican Party according to a new CNN poll conducted by SSRS. That is down 13 percentage points from March and is the lowest mark for the GOP since CNN began asking the question in 1992.

    http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/deep-challenges-trump-north-korea-home-front-poll/story?id=50032349

  • Darlene Underdahl

    “Just very, very stubborn, and prone to argument for its own sake.” Nope, not the Bob I knew, but they act the same.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I had, however, asked another commenter (in the Graham-Cassidy thread) to please not call WT a rightwing troll

    Aw shit–I’m pretty sure that was me, since I had WT figured for a troll before he really flipped out. If I had known the lunatic was going to send a cease and desist order I would have addressed it directly to him, to spare you the trouble. Sorry Dok!

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I pretty much knew he wouldn’t last when he tried to take me to task for caring about my own tranny rear end over Bernie’s universal healthcare plan.

      He made it a couple of days after that before he totally melted down, though.

    • doktorzoom

      He didn’t “send” one, he posted it in the comments, like any good legal document. No harm, no foul. Worse, I talked about him in third person, not to his face, which was so disrespectful that I was obviously encouraging cyberstalking, harassment and probably the posting of pornographic clowndicks.

      • BloviateMe

        If your MLP activities haven’t brought down the hammer of justice, I figure you’re somehow legally untouchable.

      • jesterpunk

        Dok, disqus seems to be messing with comment totals for profiles and resetting them randomly to 0. I accidentally reported someone because of it so ignore that.

    • wait! what?

      You’re obviously a witch and can see into the future. You were just practicing your religion and you won’t be oppressed for doing so.

  • tehbaddr

    “CEASE AND DESIST

    Wolf Tracker (Wonkette Profile Name) 09 / 17 / 2017
    USA

    Dear Rebecca Schoenkopf and http://www.wonkette.com owner,

    Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed! …”

  • Doug Langley

    I’m surprised WT lasted as long as he did. It was pretty clear to me at the beginning he was a jerk.

    • doktorzoom

      Banhammering gets rid of him for a bit, but he’ll soon be back, and in greater numbers.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      I was too.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      At first, he just seemed like somebody who simply wandered into the wrong forum. He really didn’t seem particularly trollish, just…odd. Whoa Nelly, did I get that wrong.

      • Anna in PDX

        Yes I saw him before it had gone very far and thought the same. Lesson here is not to give libertarian bullshitters so much benefit of the doubt. Can’t count the times I’ve had to learn that the hard way…

      • BloviateMe

        I figured early on that if he wasn’t a douche, he was certainly douche adjacent.

        Turns out, full douche.

  • The Wanderer
    • bubbuhh

      Looks like it might be good for virtual bear pokin

      • armed_bears

        Hey!

  • Gosala

    posted on another thread by mistake. Good news bad news from Germany

    German elections 2017: Angela Merkel wins fourth term but AfD makes gains, exit poll says – live updates

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/live/2017/sep/24/german-elections-2017-angela-merkel-cdu-spd-afd-live-updates?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

    • The Wanderer

      A bittersweet victory.

  • BloviateMe
  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Merkel’s CDU won by 32,5% of the votes.

    Let’s not give this person more attention then he deserves and treat this as the OPEN THREAD.

    • The Wanderer

      So the Union has a clear parliamentary majority, or are we faced with another coalition?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Always a coalition but now the question is what the AfD did.

        • The Wanderer

          Can they all fit in a Bundestag broom closet?

          • YayConspiracy

            The AfD will be the third largest party. They’ll probably feel this legitimizes their racism, fascism and bigotry. It is awful.

    • Doug Langley

      What, open thread? WHEEEE!!

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwaWaFhculU

  • Ricky Gay

    Was my username redacted?! Oh please oh please I want to be somebody! The new phone books are here – things are going to start happening to me now!!!
    (seriously though, PTSD is bad 🐺 – get help!)

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So is this how Wonkette rolls now- fat shaming people and being bullies?

    I’m sorry, where did Wonkette fat-shame anyone? Or is the mere use of a photo the equivalent of shaming now, and if so, which side is composed of special snowflakes who need their safe space now?

    • dlemex

      The same side as always.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Off topic and more important: Merkel and her party secure her leadership position in German election.

    • proudgrampa

      This is good to know…

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, that’s one female leader of the free world. Bringing the current grand total to… 15. Out of almost 200 countries at the U.N.

      http://assets.pewresearch.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/12/2017/03/07120051/FT_17.03.02_womenLeaders_map.png

      The U.S. should have an asterisk next to it, because Trump stole that election from Hillary with help from douchebro Putin and his douchebro techbro minions at Facebook, Twitter, Wikileaks, and wherever the fuck Peter Thiel has got his testicles tentacles these days.

      • damn

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Yes, but she is the New Leader of the Free World.

        • Three Finger Salute

          We coulda been a co-contender. Congratulations to Frau Merkel. But it would have been icing on the cake for she and Hillary to have #SquadGoals.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        FAKE MAP! The USA elected a woman president in 2016.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Dear Wolf Tracker: I will bash men whenever and wherever and as often as I choose, and your opinion about it is worthless. Men have been bashing women, often physically and legally, for 5000 years. What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. What are you, a snowflake who can dish it out but can’t take it? If you can’t take the heat, get out of the fire. And that’s enough trite proverbs for one day.

    • Three Finger Salute

      The “man’s world” deserves bashing, maybe. But some men are nice, just like some women are awful. Ann Coulter wants it to remain a man’s world. So does Sarah Palin. Justin Trudeau and Barack Obama do not.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I absolutely agree. But I am a student of history, and the history of how men have legally dehumanized women, and how some women have bought into this in order to acquire some degree of power over their own lives by playing by men’s rules, is a very long one, and I am not going to forget it, or detail it here, because there isn’t room. There have always been nice men, but they need to stand up more often and say “This is wrong, we won’t stand for this.” I hope you are one of the people who do that.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I’m not a man lol, and I don’t get out much (really, at all, except for annual physicals and dental appointments I’m pretty much a recluse), so I don’t really have anyplace to stand up for anything or anyone. I don’t have any social media accounts other than here, so I can’t go wade into the YouTube comment section and tear down the wankers calling Trudeau a f*gg*t for doing just that at “Women of the World” Tina Brown forum. Pointless exercise in futility, because I’m a pebble-drop in a polluted swamp who’ll just get downvoted to oblivion; they’re just going to continue doing it anyway, and I doubt he even cares at this point because he knows he’s doing the right thing.

          But, I do tell my asshole father off if that’s worth anything. That doesn’t matter either, as he’s still the family breadwinner and can pretty much do whatever he wants because, well, “owner of the means of production.” But I get my 2p in nevertheless. And it doesn’t involve risking the threat of getting doxed, because obviously someone who lives in the same house as you already knows where you live.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I knew you weren’t a man, but these days it’s wise not to make assumptions. I am a recluse too, and I don’t get out much because I am disabled, but I stand up anywhere and everywhere I get a chance, including Wonkette, and you seem to do a pretty good job of doing that too. I don’t care about the polluted swamp…there has always been a polluted swamp, and there always will be, and nothing will change unless enough people stand up and say “Hey! I have a voice!” I do have a voice, and I use it. I have been volunteering at Planned Parenthood and joining in on their weekly lobbying visits to the state capitol, and joining in on their “Pink Out” protests, which is very rewarding. I actually got interviewed by a local TV station at the last protest. I don’t think it changes any right-wing people’s opinion, but I don’t care. I have a voice, and I want people to hear it. What they think about it doesn’t concern me.

            Next weekend I am going to the Kansas City Renaissance Festival. There are a lot of people there who share my opinions, it is a great escape valve for people who live non-traditional lives. They accept you whatever you are and whatever you look like, which is very cathartic. Have you ever gone to a Renaissance Festival?

      • SisterArtemis

        Our language doesn’t easily facilitate differentiating between a class of people (men, women, white people, etc.) and the individuals who may stray from the norm for that group. It can get confusing. It shouldn’t keep us from having the discussions we need to have, but it does take some maneuvering to talk about class-based oppressions (not just the economic kind) with any nuance.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Well, I would think it just makes it wordier. Which, unfortunately, is a problem in our society that demands soundbites, 140-character twunts and easy, monolithic grouping of everyone in a category box. Mass media made a real mess, the Internet especially. “Black lives matter” is a catchier, more rhythmic slogan, but people start piping up with “oh, you think blacks’ lives are the only ones that matter?!?” when actually it’s more like “black lives should matter, but they don’t and historically have not, and this ought to be glaringly obvious when they’re getting shot down by trigger-happy cops playing judge, jury, and especially executioner — and the first black president is getting bombarded with ‘Rope and Change’ lynching memes all over his Twitter account.”

          Nobody wants to hear all that mouthful. But the people who need this explained don’t detect the invisible extra wording (that’s already been given over and over again but the ones who don’t want to hear it just plug their ears and go la-la-la anyway) automatically either. So, you end up at a dead end where you can’t effectively communicate the whole thing in a tweet or hashtag, but that’s all you’ve got to work with in our short-attention-span society that gave us the expression “TL;DR.” Which itself is sort of a meta-expression, in that it had to be abbreviated because “too long; didn’t read” is, in turn, “TL;DR.”

    • Pretty sure he is actually one of those red pill gits who think if they pretend to be liberals they can infiltrate liberal websites and start convincing people that they are right.
      Cause…play book and all

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “Google image #14 for ‘Clown Dick’” (we have pixelated the naughty bits so no one will get the vapors

    Damn, Dok, have a heart!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68e9d7043eaf545f1f9d5804e4031c0781c305d95a8815473ff93a28270cf27c.jpg

    • Nockular cavity

      The rubber duckies are the truly horrifying touch.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    This is the first time I actually see a troll in action. Troll shenanigans usually happen in open threads when it’s nighttime for me. It gets boring after a while, especially when they post the same thing over and over again like that one does.

    • Swampgas_Man

      For some reason, whenever I’m told about a troll, it’s in a thread below the current one. Like they can’t be bothered to keep up.

    • suziq

      He was very prolific. Put quite a bit of energy into his trolling though he was pretty lame actually. Tame, I meant tame, as far as trolls go. Okay, he was lame too.

  • proudgrampa

    He SEEMED nice.

    • SisterArtemis

      There was a moment that, while disagreeing with much of what he posted as WT, I thought a point he’d made was being misinterpreted. Than he went off the rails impersonating and being weird to people, and I no longer cared. When he went after one of our nicest members as a ringleader of sorts, and then accused another long time poster of being a sex offender, I started blocking upon sight. Not worth the time. This whole episode in Trolls We Haz Knowed has been very weird, and possibly has another episode brewing. *sigh*

      • proudgrampa

        Yeah. He replied to something I didn’t comment on and, at first, I thought it was weird but kind of innocuous. Then, he just kept going down the rabbit hole…

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Didn’t the blocking make the threads look bizarre?

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Yes. It was downright eerie to look at response after response to my username, with “this user has been blocked”.

        • Maggielle

          Weird reading, for sure. I blocked him early on and bizarre is right.

  • no contrarian, no contrarian, you’re the contrarian!

    NOCAN LIBULZ!!!!
    https://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/wordgirl/images/4/49/Nocan_promo.png/revision/latest?cb=20130126065037

    Also: including “ioktorzoom King,” I’m so very honored
    Demmit, was I the only one not to get spoofed?

    • BloviateMe

      I think he never did me. It’s pretty hurtful.

      • Right? ARE WE NOT GOOD ENOUGH?
        At least I got named in the lawsuit. Pretty sure. Gonna pretend I did.

        • Anna in PDX

          If he posted as “new poster” a day or so ago and I do think that was him, he name checked you, and woman in the persistence and a few others…

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            He hates women.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Me, either. And I hounded him about misspelling “ogle” and not knowing the correct definition of it.

    • Zyxomma

      No, I didn’t either.

    • shivaskeeper

      You got spoofed. He was you for a little while and then moved on.

    • Marion in Savannah

      He didn’t spoof me either. I’ve cried myself to sleep for 2 nights now. I feel so left out…

    • doktorzoom

      Whoops! I typo’d my own stolen identity! Fixed, thanks. (Not sure if he thinks the “King” thingy is part of my username or what — Disqus, of course, adds that for all mods)

  • C4TWOMAN

    You mean “lolsuit.”
    Not as serious but vastly more entertaining.

  • tehbaddr

    I wonder if I made it onto Wolf Tracker’s list? I recall giving him a bit over the young lad defending the statue in his regalia with an automatic weapon.

  • jesterpunk

    The funniest part was when he claimed everyone who disagreed with him was all the same person while also claiming we all did it to be in the cool kids clique.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Quasi-solipsism?

      • jesterpunk

        Maybe? I have no idea how those 2 things go together at all since they directly contradict each other.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          I know, it was kinda a joke. Hehe.

      • dlemex

        Ah, my Wonkette word of the day… I git realz smrts here.

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          I learned about it reading a Stephen King novel. :-)

          • dlemex

            I mostly listen to audiobooks these days and they don’t seem to support, dictionary what does that mean… yet!

      • Johnnymoreno

        “I know you’re not, but what am I?!?!”

    • WomanInThePersistence

      As the former queen of the thread, whatever that means, I agree.

      • jesterpunk

        Hey you changed your name back and Thor doesnt look mad anymore.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Yeah. Why should I let that asshole dictate who I am?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            “Queen of the Thread” sounds like a good gig, though.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, that’s because you’re part of the clique.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Wonkette’s Official Pet Unicorn!

            *chuffed*

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      To be fair, there IS a cool-kids clique here, but it’s astonishingly easy to join.

      • jesterpunk

        Yeah, just not being an ass seems to be enough to be in the cool kids group. You can even disagree with other people in the clique too.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        All you have to do is show up and participate. So easy.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          And be friendly.

          • SnarkON

            And have a horn, dammit.

    • Jack Had A Permit

      You mean, we’re not the same person? Then, who are you? Who am I? What? Where?

      • jesterpunk

        Why are there pants here?

        • Jack Had A Permit

          What are these ‘pants’ of which you speak? The hive mind is rebelling! The center will not hold! Aieeeeeee!

  • bookish

    https://apple.news/AyLuXRfeER5C3g9A2Noo8Iw

    “I think that the people who go around saying that the President is not smart are wrong,” Bharara told CNN. “This idea that people want to infantilize him gives him not enough credit. To say that someone is just spouting off in a tantrum is to suggest that he’s not intentional about the harm he’s doing and about the people he’s attacking. I think he’s very intentional about it.”

    • DainBramage

      That’s the scary part. That Dotard is intentionally trying to destroy the country.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Dotard Putin and the RWNJ billionaires, using Dotard and his cult as their weapon are intentionally trying to destroy the country.

        FTFY

    • TJ Barke

      I don’t think Preet is giving tantruming toddlers enough credit.

    • grindstone

      A freaking men

  • Bemused Australian

    Spammy trolls make my tummy feel odd.

    • Jack Had A Permit

      Join me in a bicarbonate. It’s a bigger Sunday ritual than communion.

  • Pisto75666

    And so on. Frankly, we would love to see the FBI’s reaction to Our Decency Hero showing up with a formal complaint.

    I’d bet they’d love the action, too. Life probably gets pretty tedious being at the mercy of the Shitgibbon-in-Thief.

  • SisterArtemis

    Dok, you are the best. And rather patient, and mild mannered, and quite a fine moderator. Thank you for all you do, and all you write.

    • BloviateMe

      He’s the kindest, bravest, warmest…

      • Ricky Gay

        And he is cute in person!

      • YayConspiracy

        Oh, and his words! He has the best words!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      He really is the best.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Dok for President!

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        This Canadian zombie would vote for Doc – early & often.

    • doktorzoom

      Now that looks suspicious…. :D

  • TJ Barke

    Feel special now, Wolf boy?

  • memzilla Ω
    • Ricky Gay

      Borrowed for later use thankyoukindly!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “grab her pussy” is mere locker room talk

      • SharonRClark

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !sl352d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleNetJobsSourceWorkFromHome/more/cash ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sl352l..,…..

  • jesterpunk
    • Bad Tom

      I CAN HAZ CHEESEBURGER NOW?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        No. Go eat a bear if you’re hungry.

        • Bad Tom

          OK NEZ TIME I LETZ BER IN.

    • Marion in Savannah

      You do NOT mess with a calico or tortoiseshell cat. Ever.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Are you ready for some FOOTBALL!?? (And protests?)

    • wait! what?

      T-shirt fortune opportunity:

      Are you ready for some freedom?!?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I slept through the day yesterday and woke up to Trump fucking with athletes? ANd with Terry Bradshaw, nearly in tears, on FOX NFL Sunday decrying Trump’s tweets, and speaking of the American freedoms of speech and protest.
      Tell me, Oh Zombie Wan Kenobi, did the end of the world occur? Or something?

      • Fuckin Terry. He just could not help but do a “I don’t condon them disrespecting the flag….”
        And then the other dude went, fucker, this is NOT about the flag at all. There is nothing about the flag involved in it, even a little. Learn what it is actually about” (I paraphrase) and I was all :D

        • Zyxomma

          Rand Paul was on the teevee talking about the athletes “disrespecting the flag.” Since when is the horrid drinking song (Anachreon in Heaven) that became our national anthem the same thing as the flag? True, that disgusting song is ABOUT the flag, but it isn’t, you know, the actual flag.

  • “Did somebody say ‘Transfer of Obscene Materials’ . . . and also ‘Clown Dick’, too?!?”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4643b1dbdeb7f59b4f804e78f3a247d73a5d83910d5b0838d8a1a19e7482b608.jpg

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Josiah Duggar Libelz!!11!!

      And btw, he was born this way.

  • Nockular cavity

    Deere Wonket:

    If I was ever allowed to coment, I would now be rich and fameous. Please send me all you’re money now.

    Yores,
    Nockular

    • BosGrl

      Send me 500 moneyz for shipping and handling and I will send you a million moneyz back.

      • Ricky Gay

        Just pay separate shipping and handling!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Clown dick pics are the only thing that gets me out of my bunk any more.

    • Blender_415

      And with a rubber-ducky bonus!

    • Panika MCD

      heritage bikinis keep you in yout bunk?

  • C4TWOMAN

    Also it might be weaponizing the disqus platform. I do this to avoid being banned at infolulz… make a first post in thread then thereafter post only on the disqus page for comments. Unless every comment is linked to an IP the mods have access to,you avoid loading tags hosted by the website. It’s like you’re a ghost.
    He, she,it had put thought into this… meaning it’s deliberate and they came for trouble.
    There’s still a couple ways to catch them. When I have time I’ll email privately.
    Edited for clarity.

  • Ricky Gay
    • altleftjohn

      That really is obscene.

  • Christopher Story

    Damnit, disqus deleted all your latest comments again. I just wanted to post a gif in celebration of Angela Merkle winning her election. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3e2c27daa0fbfd75abcf10b87be579f2bfd3f0aa56108ce1964360316fc4a4ef.gif

    • ltmcdies

      those right wing assholes gained some too….but yah…Merkel held on….

    • gene108

      Did not know this, but apparently Merkel’s Party is what passes for center-right in Germany.

      My mind wonders what the liberals are like there.

      • Christopher Story

        Gay orgies on top of valid text books and lots of marijuana?

        • dlemex

          Estoy listo! Ice bin Berliner. Sadly, all my German learned in the 90’s.

        • nightmoth

          Definitely valid text books. I talked a long time with a young German couple when we were staying in a hostel in Thurso, Scotland. They do not teach “creationism theory” in their public schools. They learn all about the Holocaust, instead of pretending maybe it wasn’t so bad. They do NOT allow home schooling, which might be bad for super-bright kids who are ahead of their peers, although maybe those kids get put on a fast track. I didn’t get that far in the conversation. I was pleased that fundy-evangelicals are not allowed to home school. I told them to keep up the good work and under no circumstance allow fuzzy-mentalists to start influencing curriculum.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Oh, am I ever stealing “fuzzy-mentalists!” Glorious — thanks.

      • Covfefe

        Lets not kid ourselves. 1. By European standards, the Democrat Party is a Center-right Party. 2. That’s the best we can reasonably hope for in this country at this time.

    • C4TWOMAN

      But the afg gets a seat in the riechstag, yeh?

      • Christopher Story

        Maybe this time Merkel can set the fire herself and blame them for playing with matches (too soon?)

        • ltmcdies

          I’d be fine with that.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Kinda. I’ll have a better sense of humor after I see how the coalition shakes out. Hopefully without the afg leading the opposition…

  • Having been an Internet Entity for, lo, going on decades now, I’ve seen this kind of meltdown on many occasions and in many open fora (forums, fori?).

    Amazing how people think that others take this kind of trolling abuse seriously, when it’s never anything but a temporary nuisance.

    • TJ Barke

      At most it’s a bit exhausting.

    • TBF, I did not take him seriously until he started impersonating other people and posting crass and gross shit. Like, when he pretended he was one guy and said stuff about how he was going to whine about his depression and see his fake therapist.
      That took it from laughable to down right infuriating.

    • Zyxomma

      It’s fora, although forums is acceptable.

  • Jenny

    He just really did not like being corrected. Even in mundane comments that you would agree with him but have a slightly different perspective on, he had to be right with the authoritave answer. Being right was all that mattered. I hope he isn’t someone’s boss.

    Also holla at the NFL for shooting the bird at Dump all weekend!

    • BosGrl

      I enjoyed him mansplaining me how birth control pills are only nominally used for things other than birth control, which is why he shouldn’t have to pay for them. :/

    • Jack Had A Permit

      I enjoyed him claiming I had to be lying about being married because I didn’t think being a sexual predator was just peachy. Fun guy.

    • shivaskeeper

      Authoritative answer. That’s the key. Talking about the Red Cross? He was a high level executive at the Red Cross for 16 years. Talking about Habitat for Humanity? He builds Habitat houses and vets the people who get to live in them. Say something about retiring or starting your own business? He, in fact, was retired from his own business he started. Medical coverage? He was a doctor at his own business which is what he started after leaving the Red Cross, I guess. Something about the TX Lege? He read an article and could post a link to disprove what a commenter who covers the TX Lege for a living said. And he would double down on all of it.

      Anyway, the point being it you are absolutely right. He caught some shit for the Confederate statue defense, but it really started to fall apart for him with the “hurricanes have spin just like a bowling ball” crap he tried to toss out there. That was the beginning of the end for it.

  • Blender_415

    So, will “clown dick” eclipse “vegan baby butt” as the default response to these people?

    • TJ Barke

      How much yodeling is involved?

    • wait! what?

      Hybrid it:

      Vegan baby butt clown hole

      • TJ Barke

        What’s a clown hole?

          • TJ Barke

            Down here, your butthole floats!

          • I thought buttholes surfed?

          • TJ Barke

            Fugazi?

          • Hillz did that with her IMs

          • Jack Had A Permit

            When you find out your hopes for a lawsuit are just gazebos and you lost Beverly.

        • wait! what?

          Clown Hole

          1. An opening or orifice in the body between the gluteus maximus (buttcheeks), sometimes called the anus, anal orifice, bunghole, cornhole, turdcutter or other related synonyms. Used for dispensing of fecal matter, sometimes known as excrement, or insertion of items such as fruit and vegetables, gerbils and other such foreign objects.

          2. Insult used to bring down the morale of a person in order to crush their inferior spirit.

          E.G.,
          1.I feel a fudge-nugget trying to escape my clown hole.

          2. Children are such clown holes.

          #ass#anus#butthole#cornhole#munghole

          by John Barry July 13, 2006

      • Jack Had A Permit

        Vegan Clown Dickhole? Painted Vegan Urethra?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Afd at 13% well that sucks.

    • Daniel

      Fuck.

    • 13 is better than 14, or 15 or 20 or……

    • Three Finger Salute

      An unlucky 13 if there ever was one.

    • YayConspiracy

      Es saugt. Große Zeit.

    • Nockular cavity

      You know who else was once at…

      Oh, shit. That’s not funny.

    • Johnatx

      Those are the Nazis?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Yup. They’re metastasizing. They get away with it because they don’t wear swastikas or give verbatim props to the regime that must not be spoken of. (The American Nazis are dumb this way.) They also have Merkel caught in the “frozen peaches” trap of where censoring “legitimate conservative criticism” (of immigrants’ humanity) would make her out to be the totalitarian. She’s already got that mark on her simply for being the first chancellor to hail from the former East Germany.

        Remember the propaganda memes of Hillary as Mao, Obama as a Black Panther, and Trudeau as Castro? This is the go-to meme on European RWNJ social media about “Comrade” Merkel:

        http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/124000/Stalin-Holding-Angela-Merkel-124161.jpg

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Nah that would be the ndp but they have some really disturbing anti eu anti immigrant views.

    • ltmcdies

      and this, boys and girls, is the risk of the multiparty system….

      • Covfefe

        And the contemporary GOP, boys and girls, is the risk of a two party system, which gives me a sad.

        • ltmcdies

          let’s unpack a bit…the reason the GOP is such a risk now was the rise of factions within the party (the Tea Party) splitting things enough within the GOP to gain control.

          there is no perfect. I’ve said it before …Canada got stuck with Stephen Fucking Harper for longer than it needed due to the centre left vote split between the Liberals and the NDP.

          we all have to pick out poison I guess

          • Covfefe

            Bloc Québécois often was the third biggest in the federal parliament. Steven Harper may have led a minority government, but among anglophones, it was a majority.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Well, germany now has to deal with 13% assholes while the USA is under control by one asshole and his party. I know what i would prefer.

        • ltmcdies

          question…how much help did Germany’s asshole get from Putin and his troll army

  • Jack Had A Permit

    They can add me to the lawsuit too, I guess. PENIS! MEN SUCK! PENIS-SIDEBOOB!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IBWqHkSNrk

  • BeachBum

    Sorry OT. http://fortune.com/2017/09/22/facebo “But the Russian troll farm hid behind Facebook’s anonymous algorithms—a practice that would have violated the law had it been done in print or on television.”
    His point was that the internet can no longer be a political free zone, protected by privacy rules.

    • shorter fortune: By not hiring humans to check this shit, Facebook broked the law but good.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Fuck Zuck. If anyone deserves to be permanently banhammered from the internet with votes a mailing address at Leavenworth, it’s him.

      • Covfefe

        As a True Red Murican, I’m against al Logorhythems, and their Shi’a rule(s).

      • C4TWOMAN

        Imagine all the money they thought they’d save not hiring human mods..

    • jesterpunk

      I hope facebook gets fined bigly for that, it seems to be the only thing companies understand. Make it enough to hurt them too.

      • Weirdly, the one thing that would make rich assholes actually pay attention is the one thing we rarely ever do…..

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah normally if they get fined it works out to be an hour or so worth of profits. They need to fine them a couple months worth of profit to make them learn.

          • bupkus231

            They’ll only spend twice that in lawyer’s fees, trying to overturn the fine….

          • jesterpunk

            Good, they should lose that lawsuit too and be out even more money.

          • bupkus231

            They should, but will they? I haz me doubts….

  • BullDyke Odell

    so when do those Madonna guest posts start? will they be right here with everything else? I couldn’t believe it when i hear she was in colabo with hambeast shankunt. but the fat jew? who else could it be. i might even subscribe but moreso i hope this gets you back on the path to respectability and ad revenue. it’s a whizbanger of a start.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Ironically America’s first atheist predisent has got sportsball players on their knees praying like never before.

    • SisterArtemis

      Atheist libulz. Also, probably prez libulz, but I think the ex-prezidents are just laughing at Cheeto McWhinyPants

    • Panika MCD

      you can’t be an atheist if you’re convinced that you are god.

      • What is the word for believing yourself to be god?
        I mean sure god complex, but don’t we have a nice tidy ism word for that?

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Caligula complex?

        • Shalimar

          Solipsism comes close.

        • Querolous

          Pharaonicism?

        • Three Finger Salute

          I’m going to guess autodeification. It comes up with a red squiggle, but technically that’s the linguistic construct. Deification means to attribute a godlike or divine quality to a person: the deified Caesars. The auto- prefix means self.

        • Not sure is any recognised short form, but NPD seems to fit and is on approved list. Approved list oh my…

        • Covfefe

          Roman emperors diefied themselves. Why can’t Donny Ding Dong?

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          I found grandiose religious delusion.

  • RMKH

    OT – in case anyone missed it last night, Robert Kraft, heretofore Trumpian owner of the New England Patriots sportsball team, came out in support of players right to expression. Looks like Agent Orange picked the wrong fight… except there’s no such thing for him because turmoil is what gets his tiny appendage hard.

    • SisterArtemis

      Ultimate troll.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Numero XII already said he deserves a chance. When you’ve lost Tom Brady…

      Colin Kaepernick says he wants to play — and Tom Brady says he deserves a chance | USA Today

    • puredog

      I feel quite sure that Robert Kraft is entirely capable of respectfully disagreeing with Drumpf in public while continuing to shovel millions of Ameros in his direction in private.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Being the center of attention is what gets his tiny appendage hard. There really doesn’t seem to be anything else that is a uncompromising core value.

  • Panika MCD

    maybe he’s not Chris Cillizza after all–though Cillizza’s tweets and our troll do have a lot of diction in common–maybe he’s the guy in that photo…except the guy in that photo was clearly not entirely bald yet not did he have any hair stolen from a Viking. it is an old photo.

    and then the clown dick began.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Cillizza is the poster boy for Village scum.

      BTW, I discovered that Josh Barro has also blocked me for calling him Village scum. The truth does hurt, doesn’t it, Josh?

      • Panika MCD

        people block people. it happens.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          I am still blocked by NYT’s Charles Blow for calling him to task on facts not in evidence two years ago.

    • Phried Ω

      and also too, the murders.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Wolf Tracker is a certified (by VDE, who has credentials from the VDE Institute of Credentials Made Up on the Fly) dipshit loon.

    You’re welcome.

    • Jack Had A Permit

      I knew he was certifiable.

  • I’ll be back later to see how the sportsball protests are going. I do love how every time 45* goes off the reservation, he loses one or two former idiots who used to support him.

    You do you, you Orange Bastard.

  • memzilla Ω
    • gene108

      I am glad people are protesting Trump, but we’ve sort of lost the plot.

      The initial protest of taking a knee was to protest cops killing blacks with impunity.

      The right-wing has made this about the flag, dead soldiers, mom and apple pie, and the new round of protests are about free speech and First Amendment rights.

      Someone needs to recapture the narrative.

      • First establish that we are not taking their shit.
        THEN you can draw the narrative. Also, talking heads dude on Sunday pre game did bring it right on back in telling Terry what he was “not condoning” was people saying stop killing

    • jesterpunk

      HAHAHAHA I love how this is backfiring on him.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Watching the Falcons v Lions game right now and both teams have linked arms. NFL United or something like that.

      • MilwaukeeKent

        I couldn’t tell if anyone knelt but that might be because Fox coverage, both teams linked arms, they couldn’t avoiding showing that. Best part was the black singer of the National Anthem ended on a knee AND raised his mic hand in a Black Power salute.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      One of the articles I read about this kerfuffle said that at one time, players always stayed in the locker room until after the anthem. Personally, I don’t think the anthem should be played at sporting events unless it’s something like the Olympics.

      • mailman27

        Tomlin said he stayed in the locker room to avoid the whole mess. And the teams did always used to stay in the locker room like you said. I think Mike Tomlin is as sick of this “controversy” as I am.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    “Man bashing”? So he was MRA all along, I take it. I should have known when he/it defended the man who killed his wife and blamed it on cough medicine. But I am A Dumb and A Moran for giving It the benefit of the doubt and being nice to It. When will I learn? Probably never as I can be a bit naive at times.

    On another note, I’m not a doctor, and I don’t play one on TV, but I do think this person needs help. I hope he gets the help he needs.

    • I for one hope you never stop giving the benefit of the doubt and being nice :huggles:
      Fuck the fuckers tryin to change us

    • Panika MCD

      he was always heavy on the mansplaining.

      • Had serious issues with the wiminz folk. Sorta reminds me of my boss. When site lead and I would say a thing, she is all….hmmmmm but when co worker boy said the exact same words, she is all oh, I get it now!
        Just like that.

        • Christopher Story

          That means she was a idiot and couldn’t understand something until another a idiot explained it in a way that only a idiot could understand

          • No, I mean he would use the exact same words.
            Example:
            Me or site lead lady: We need to gather the data to examine where we can fix this problem. So we need the data given to us.
            Boss: Hmmmmmm…..but we can’t ask anyone to do our work for us.
            Co worker boy: What they are saying is that in order to fix this problem, we need the data.
            Boss: OH, well yes, we do!

        • C4TWOMAN

          Lot of internalized sexism. Peeps wonder why I’m an agressive bitch when I suspect I’m being fukked with. I suspect some people try shit because they really believe a woman can’t take them in fight.
          I am despressed to find out I’m right when they back down.
          It’s subconscious I’m sure, but still, seriously? You wouldn’t pull x with a guy but you thought you’d get away with it with me?
          How’s that working out?
          Granted it has to be toned down in the workplace vs the the street, but it comes from the same place…

    • WomanInThePersistence

      That’s one of the many things we love about you. Stay nice! The world needs more of that.

    • SisterArtemis

      I don’t think it’s bad to give the benefit of the doubt. I (mildy) jumped on someone here a long time ago, for posting a rape-themed anti-Trump pic – I couldn’t tell if it was just an issue of Posting in Bad Taste, or a RW troll trying to trigger/bait the lefties. So I ventured into a discussion of the issues as I saw them, fully expected a 90+% change of having it explode all over me in nasty trollishness, and instead had a lovely chat about the merits and pitfalls of the posted pic. It was lovely, refreshing, and unfortunately, rare.

      So, no, benefit of the doubt is a good thing to offer. It just needs to be retracted once a poster starts being a dick.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I took it easy on him for a while because I suspected he might be autistic; his clueless argumentativeness was very similar to that of an autistic friend of mine. When he started behaving in a creepy/stalky/threatening way…fuck him.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I got into an interesting with a rando Facebook person. He posted something fairly innocuous about religion and the atheists in the group immediately began dog piling on him and mocking his beliefs in a really ugly way. It ended up his beliefs were way more John Pavlovitz than Pat Robertson and we ended up becoming Facebook friends.

      • HorseChestnut

        I’ll jump on ppl for rape jokes and anti-trans jokes/ deadnaming. It’s not personal, I don’t hate anybody, I just don’t want that shit in here. Sometimes the small penis jokes get to me, too, but I try to let it slide because I don’t want to be a total killjoy, and folks mean well.

        • SisterArtemis

          what’s “deadnaming”?
          Yeah, I don’t always jump on stuff I think is over the top, but if I’m going to do it, I usually try to be well-tempered about it. With those who are of similar good intention (like the story I told above) it usually sparks a good discussion. For whiny self-involved people, it usually devolves into butthurtness. Kind of sorts things out.

          Fat shaming is one of the ones that gets to me, not so much because I’m sorta big, but because it’s just rude. But I don’t “go there” every single time it comes up. Strategery, folks!

          • HorseChestnut

            Deadnaming is when you refer to a person who’s transitioned by their old name, on purpose, to humiliate them. It hurts.

          • SisterArtemis

            Thanks for the info – I was familiar with the practice, not the name for it.

            In my mind, it is linked with the disrespectful practice of “calling someone outside their name” which, while it has a more recent use similar to the deadnaming you noted, was the practice of renaming black servants (and slaves) with names comfortable for white employers/”owners” (grrrrrr) instead of using the ones their parents had chosen for them. Maybe the most famous in popular culture: Kunta Kinte, in “Roots,” being called Toby.

          • HorseChestnut

            It’s in the same family, I think. It makes someone less than human, and reminds everyone watching that they only have dignity at your pleasure.

          • SisterArtemis

            “they only have dignity at your pleasure”… “I only have dignity at your pleasure”… These are chilling words, chilling concepts, and far too prevalent.

    • doktorzoom

      Oh, heavens, you should never assume what a troll posts EVER reflects what they actually believe.

      • Rachel Book Harlot

        That’s very true. But I don’t know, I feel like there is more than just simple trolling going on there. His behavior is just so over the top. I actually got to witness him impersonating someone here live and it was truly disturbing. With a regular troll you get the feeling that they are just being assholes to be assholes, but this felt different.

        • doktorzoom

          Could be; I dunno, though, since this one has also gone with the “very sincerely worried about the children seeing pr0n” thing… but you may have a point — there’s some vile stuff he posted with other people’s names that I didn’t bother including here.

    • shivaskeeper

      MRA among other things. Confederate apologist. Super genius who is always right. Tone policeman extraordinaire. And not least, far more progressive than you.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Meteorologist pro-bowler and billiard phenom, also too.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Jinx

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Also Too – Meteorologist known for the Bowling Ball Theory.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      I thought MRA because they’ve become notorious for “sea lioning”- rather than the usual rude trolling crap, it’s an attempt to drive the conversation and make everyone crazy by constantly asking for explanations links and sources. (For example “tell me why Steve Bannon is Racist- provide links”)
      It’s an attempt to distract and drive commenters crazy.
      I much preferred TLM.

      • shivaskeeper

        Asking for cites should be standard protocol in any situation. Are they going to try to make it a bad thing?

        Hell, when I go after the occasional troll here, that’s how I keep from getting distracted. Constant reminders to answer the questions sort of thing.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          No, and that’s been a discussion about how the term “sea lioning ” can be be meaningless, just like a lot of women fiction writers hate the term “Mary Sue” because it can be used to describe nearly any heroic female character if you bend it far enough.
          It’s about people who want to argue about the obvious that wastes everyone’s time (“prove the Republican Party is racist”), and to drive the blog conversation in an unproductive direction.
          Here’s a link that better explains what I’m talking about
          http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/sea-lioning#fn8

          • C4TWOMAN

            Re Mary/Marty Sue’s..
            Should explicitly refer to an author avatar suspiciously lacking in flaws and depth.
            Of course concern trolls will troll..

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            I agree about the “Mary Sue” definition. I think the concern among women writers is that any powerful woman, especially in a fantasy setting where characters could have superhuman powers, could be labeled as a “Mary Sue”., to the point where they didn’t feel comfortable writing female characters at all.
            But I do agree with you- I’m just saying that a definition can be expanded to the point of meaninglessness.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Among writers, Mary Sue is a character who is so good that he or she does everything effortlessly. If someone’s hacking, they can detect and eliminate the hack with a few keystrokes. If someone attacks them, they are a martial arts expert, and no one they encounter comes even close to matching their skills. If someone’s going to assassinate the President, the combination of their mountain-climbing skills without equipment, sniper skills, and 20/10 vision allows them to reach a site that allows them to take out the would-be assassin.

            Writers never use the term to describe a strong female character with skills who is otherwise presented as a three-dimensional character.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            That is how it should be properly used. One of the complaints about “The Force Awakens” was that Rey was a Mary Sue, however, you could argue that all those wharchamacallits- midiclorians? gave her all those powers.

          • shivaskeeper

            OK. I see. Moving the goalposts, pretending they have never heard the term absolutism, and general arguments in bad faith.

            Those I call out for the fallacies and move on. I usually tell them, “we are done here”with a list of the fallacies used when I do.

    • shivaskeeper

      2nd reply. Everyone should get the same baseline amount of respect. Until they do things to move your respect up or down the scale. You should never change that.

      It’s kind of sad here when I see a new commenter show up around the same time as the trolls. They tend to get bashed as trolls as well even if they have done nothing wrong at all or posted anything that should raise alarms. That’s what happens if you won;t give the benefit of the doubt to a stranger.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        ^^^THIS^^^

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I’ve seen the pile on when people disagree and I don’t like it, but I’ve become a little cynical with experience. When I ask people like ammosexuals or the occasional conspiracy theorists who show up here, it always comes down to “watch this Alex Jones Video” or “Google it”. No screw you I have better things to do.
        I mostly block them and don’t respond. I’ve just learned the hard way that engaging is generally a waste of time.

        • shivaskeeper

          Yeah. There is a difference between a troll and someone who just happens to have a new account or one that doesn’t get used often.

          We all started with no comments at some point.

          Me personally, I like disagreement. As long as the disagreement is honest, disagreement helps me see things from other angles. When I get a bunch of people agreeing with me too often I get nervous. If it’s not honest disagreement I ask pointed questions and call out logical fallacies in the arguments. This is all caveated by saying there are things I will not likely change my mind on.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            I appreciate you saying that- i don’t like seeing people get piled on simply for having unpopular opinions. On the other hand, I hate to see discussions derailed by the kind of name calling and insult exchanges that happen in Facebook.

  • Panika MCD

    also too: how can we harass anyone in the comments that are not allowed?

  • BadKitty904

    Versus, say Trump’s obscene transfer of federal funding to miners?

  • msgypsy

    Dammit, I missed my chance to annoy someone! I try never to miss such an opportunity.

  • Rick Hill

    (we have pixelated the naughty bits so no one will get the vapors:

    Could you pixelate it some more? Like about 90-95%?

    • Jack Had A Permit

      It needs to be so pixelated that we could see in on Windows 3.1

    • Three Finger Salute

      I always preferred the black-box form of visual bowdlerizing myself. Or just shoop a burka onto that guy, that’ll work.

      • Nockular cavity

        You’d still see the goddam ducks.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Those are pretty disturbing, all by themselves.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • gene108

      One more reason to hate Donald Trump. He destroyed the USFL.

      • Jack Had A Permit

        Jinx!

    • Jack Had A Permit

      He’s still butthurt about the failure of the USFL.

      • gene108

        USFL would not have failed so spectacularly, if not for Trump.

    • BadKitty904
      • Russia investigation continuing fine.
        Think we can take a day to remind the President of the United States that free speech really is about the government not trying to stop citizens from expressing theirs.

      • jesterpunk

        Add this to the list of charges against Trump.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      He is all about revenge. One of his many statements on the subject:

      One of the things you should do in terms of success: If somebody hits you, you’ve got to hit ’em back five times harder than they ever thought possible. You’ve got to get even. Get even. And the reason, the reason you do, is so important…The reason you do, you have to do it, because if they do that to you, you have to leave a telltale sign that they just can’t take advantage of you. It’s not so much for the person, which does make you feel good, to be honest with you, I’ve done it many times. But other people watch and you know they say, “Well, let’s leave Trump alone,” or “Let’s leave this one,” or “Doris, let’s leave her alone. They fight too hard.” I say it, and it’s so important. You have to, you have to hit back. You have to hit back.

      • Hitting back is fine. He is not hitting back. He is revenge seeking with no care or compunction who is actually deserving of such. But he is learning!
        Who knew all Bamz needed for these guys to respect him was to lash out of them every time they said a mean thing?

        • jesterpunk

          Trump can’t touch Bamz when it comes to getting back at someone.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9mzJhvC-8E

        • Courser_Resistance

          I love my Prez Forever, but I often wished he’d spoken out more about the zillion slurs and slights cast his way but I far prefer his approach to Cheeto’s. Christ, this isn’t junior high, let it go!

      • coozledad

        Goddamn if he doesn’t sound like Manson at the Spahn ranch, giving a speech to a bunch of mescaline drenched homeless kids.

        His people are already carving swastikas in their foreheads.

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      You know who isn’t tweeting about the NFL? Bob Fucking Mueller, that’s who.

  • coozledad

    No clown dick?

    Is Prickasso art or porn?

    • wait! what?

      If it paints shrimp with its clown dick it’s considered prawn.

  • wait! what?

    It’s interesting that all of Donald’s grown up role playing games have expansion modules that begin with:

    Donald stepped on his dick by doing/saying…

  • Nockular cavity

    BTW, congratulations, Rebecca, on apparently giving birth to more daughters! Now aren’t you glad this guy was around to inform you of this occasion?

    • shivaskeeper

      We are all wrong about everything. We needed him here to show us the right answers to everything. s/

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • jesterpunk

      So not only are the owners not firing all the players they are joining them. Just like Trump’s other comments this is backfiring bigly.

      • David Chaillou

        Next step South Korea joins North Korea.

      • Gary Charound

        It doesn’t matter. He’s creating another controversy to change the subject so people talk about sports instead of the failure to repeal Obamacare. It’s just a distraction.

    • Christopher Story

      Show that polished shit stain how weak and small he really is. Oh yeah, obligatory gif. Turns out there are things worth dancing for today https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3e2c27daa0fbfd75abcf10b87be579f2bfd3f0aa56108ce1964360316fc4a4ef.gif

  • bubbuhh
  • Rick Hill

    I read once that Stalin’s sekrit police became more and more sadistic and ruthless. normal people leaving due to their distaste for what they did. Soon, the only people left were completely fcked up, devious, murderous bastards and even Stalin was a feared of them. I think there is a correlation with trump and his supporters. Fewer sane people support him and only the completely deluded fools remain and trump is basically running his own personal algorythm to gain attention from them. It. Won’t. Get. Better.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I keep thinking that the worse it gets, the sooner it will end. I suspect I am being hopelessly idealistic, but it helps me fall asleep at night.

      • Rick Hill

        Look at the comments he is making now, all intended to rile up his supporters. as those people are more deeply set in denial, as they insist that the real problems aren’t the neo nazis but the folks opposing them, that war with NK, Iran and Ireland are actually good ideas and make people respect us, that you will love America even if you are forced to and to honor trump is the same as worshiping gawd…..

        • tomamitai

          Whoa, when did he go after the Irish? I missed that!

          • Rick Hill

            They know what they did…..

          • Christopher Story

            Look, we wouldn’t have had to resort to corned beef and cabbage had the English not left us a bunch of rotten potatoes.

  • FZsdaughter

    This alone is why people need to show some support for our Wonkette today. Dear Shit-For-Brains — while being some of the funniest Zoom of the week — has also got to be the shittiest part of the job for Dok, and Wonkette Baby probably needs shoes, too. So let’s all give a tenner and hope this guy will find someone who truly deserves him — like Return Of Kings.

    • Did that yesterday :D Extra whore diamonds cause I got a raise.
      Rahhhh!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Congrats!

        • Thank you! It was about my entire raise XD But I had it to give.
          Also chucked the remainder at Puerto Rico

    • FZsdaughter

      Done. C’mon, Wonkers — everybody in the pool!

  • Not sure about the oggle part. Reckon Nanny would have something to say on that – in Oggham ofc.

  • Granny Sprinkles

    If Granny had a dollar for every time she said “please, no more clown dick”…

  • Rick Hill

    But only if the colony voted for trump…
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a1K5Wx2_700b.jpg

  • Covfefe

    Wolf Tracker eats canned clams.

    • HorseChestnut

      Moxnstker!

      • Covfefe

        Sorry, I edited the spelling. Maybe should have left it i it’s original glory.

        • absolutely, it was glorious

        • SisterArtemis

          Preserved in all its glory: “WolfmTraxker”

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Well, now, be careful with your insults, because I eat canned clams too. I live in Missouri, they are the only kind I can get. I add them to Vigo’s Paella mix. They are pretty tasteless, but I don’t have any viable alternatives.

      • Querolous

        Prairie oysters?

        • bupkus231

          You do know they’re not really seafood, don’t you?

          • Querolous

            Of course!

    • Jonny On Maui

      And likes them…

    • Rick Hill

      Hey! I used to be stuck out on a ship in the middle of nowhere and would, on occasion, eat some canned clams. Ironically, of course….

  • memzilla Ω

    Disqus seems to have reset everyone’s accounts to 0 comments.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Well duh. There are no comments.

    • SisterArtemis

      Not everyone. When I hover over your avatar, I get “0” but CAT4WOMAN’s shows her 9000+ comments.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Conspiracy!!111!!12!

    • I’m at 29, 954. This is 29, 955. I may break 30K today

    • Joe Beese

      17,724. Each one better than the last.

    • bubbuhh

      On the good news front all your comments are still there and visible to anyone who checks out your profile.

    • David Chaillou

      There’s a moral there. No idea what it is though.

  • SisterArtemis

    So many weeds to wade through, so much bs to decipher….

    …. this stalking and harassment has continued causing me to suffer severe depression, loss of sleep, anxiety and has triggered a PTSD episode among other health issues.

    “stalking”… meaning responding to comments he posted in a public forum?
    “harassment”… meaning replying to him, sometimes with snark and profanity, in disagreement?

    So, if someone is so easily triggered, why would they continue to return, under new (and often stolen) usernames, to get hammered by people who obviously disagree with them , and are quite happy to state it?

    If WT really had a PTSD episode, along with depression, sleep loss, and anxiety, in response to the conversations around here (and I doubt that), well, that’s a bummer, and I too have sometimes been disturbed by one or another conversation online. AND SO I GOT OUT OF THAT CONVERSATION. Jeezus!

    This whole thing reminds me very much of that phenom where someone says something people disagree with, and then gets all “my 1st amendment rights” over having to hear criticism, maybe even derision, over what they’ve said. AND CRIPES ALMIGHTY, never read the comments, at least without going into it with both eyes open and a staunch heart.

    • He was also at some point a history teacher and a civil engineer and a few other things.Grain of salt.
      It’s the playbook to use liberal language against liberals. All it is. Tried appealing to free speeches because you are hitler for wanting to remove statues. That did not work, tried to do the they are just being proud of who they are, them white boys. That did not work, went to women should think about what they wear and cover up so men don’t rape them. That did not work, fell back on you are harassing me and I have issues waaaa.
      It’s almost point for point the reddit playbook for dealing with liberals.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Close the browser and do something else. My solution to getting bummed or irritated by a devolving discussion.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Hmm. What, no mention of a “wall”?

    The Church recognizes the right of a sovereign state to control its borders in furtherance of the common good. It also recognizes the right of human persons to migrate so that they can realize their God-given rights. These teachings complement each other. While the sovereign state may impose reasonable limits on immigration, the common good is not served when the basic human rights of the individual are violated. In the current condition of the world, in which global poverty and persecution are rampant, the presumption is that persons must migrate in order to support and protect themselves and that nations who are able to receive them should do so whenever possible. It is through this lens that we assess the current migration reality between the United States and Mexico.

    Strangers No Longer, 39

    http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/human-life-and-dignity/immigration/strangers-no-longer-together-on-the-journey-of-hope.cfm

    ~ The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops

    • BosGrl

      NuPope is having an influence, I think.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Doesn’t matter. Trump hates Francis and all his supporters don’t even consider him a valid pope. They of course see Trump as a valid president (and Obama as the asterisk), but with the pope they come up with all these NWO Soros conspiracies that he was “installed” to pollute the Catholic Church with socialist globalism and redistributionist Robin Hood doctrine that takes from the salt-of-the-earth folks and gives to the “shit on the sidewalk.” They loved Nazi pope (just like they love Mussolini II), and hate “liberation theology” pope. They hate “liberation theology” pope because they obviously hate “Hay-Zoos” too.

      Some moron on Fox (redundant, I know, but remembering who it was would be like finding a needle in a stack of needles) actually once said that the pope should be excommunicated. Um… not sure how that’s possible, as he’s not going to fire himself — which seems to imply that he should be made to, er, follow in Christ’s footsteps and look on the bright side of life.

      Whoever it was also called for John Kerry and Justin Trudeau to get the boot (because pro-choice), Pierre Trudeau (because he got divorced and legalized homosexuality in Canada), and a permanent damnation placed on the whole Kennedy family. You know, for being godless libruls and stuff. They failed the apostate exam for being a pain in the ass to Fox. Sounds like a badge of honor if you ask me.

      • David Chaillou

        You think if Francis knelt for the anthem Trump would forgive him?

  • BosGrl

    So this is OT but I miss you guys. This new temp job is exhausting. I’m transcribing survey answers. It sounds boring, but it’s not. The client is a Medicaid healthcare provider in the South and the question was, “How can we improve?” Most of the people who answered said, “Nothing, I appreciate having healthcare”, which made me all teary, because they’re fucking grateful to have a doctor and the assholes in the Senate want to take it away from them. The ones who did have answers – mostly all they wanted was dental care, eye care and transportation to their appointments because duh rural south, no inbound Blue Line trains. That’s all. No asking for plastic surgery or tooth bonding. They wanted glasses and fillings. And the fuckers want them to work for their Medicaid. Which how are they supposed to get jobs if they can’t see and their teeth hurt??

    • We miss you too! I swear, once you get in the swing of it, you’ll join us in the evenings again!

      • BosGrl

        <3 This is just for a few more weeks. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon for the job I really want, which is transcribing from home. It's the commute that's killing me. I'm spoiled from working from home for two decades.

        • When i moved i July, i went from a 1 hr commute to a 7 minute one. I take the bus, so i still Wonk anyways

          • BosGrl

            Oh that’s lovely. 7-minute bus, no parking.

          • Nope! I used to nap on the bus…not so practical now

          • BosGrl

            Aha! LOL. I get it.

        • woo good luck! You’re gonna nail it!

          • BosGrl

            :)

        • Three Finger Salute

          I’d love to get a transcription job. It kills me that you still have to interview, though — and have to put in your time working in an away-from-home office that probably doesn’t have cubicles and you still have to interact somewhat with the public. The commute itself wouldn’t be my problem. My problem would be having to actually show my face in public. It bothers me that email interviews don’t exist. Only Skype seems as far as recruiters will go, but even that still requires a webcam and for you to talk to the interviewer.

          I communicate much better in writing. I shiver like a smack addict in arctic temperatures when having to meet people face-to-face. Let alone have them get to know me over time. I try to fly under the radar as much as I can. I don’t want friends or relationships because I don’t want anyone to be burdened with the inconvenience of having someone like me in their life at all. (I probably wouldn’t have animals in my house if I could because I wouldn’t want the poor critter to have me for a roommate.)

          Not to mention, even a five-minute how-do-you-do physically drains me, and then even more so because I go home, have a panic attack, cry myself to sleep and stay there until the next day. Everything else these days is done hiding behind a keyboard. Why not interviews?

          • BosGrl

            My interview is over the phone. Do you have transcription experience? I can give you the info. They’ll be doing more hiring.

            And I understand you.

          • Ill-Advised

            I’m with you on that. I blew an interview I was qualified for just by having to smother an anxiety attack in the middle of it. Over one stupid question that I knew the answer to but couldn’t make the words come out of my mouth right.

            I didn’t use to be this bad. I used to like interviewing. But I also used to feel some confidence. I need my mojo back. The usual disciplines don’t work any more. Even the “networking thing” isn’t working.

            I’m trying to avoid taking it personally. But it sure feels personal when I’m the only common element in the latest string of failures.
            Upping the antidepressants may help…

    • BeachBum

      So many employers want the stereotype good employee, but a lot of people need a job to improve themselves, not only health/physically, but job skills and education. So many get into a downhill spiral. Believe me, when you hire someone like that, they usually consider it a second or third chance and will work like hell for you! And when you need extra help, they are there for you.

      • BosGrl

        But the Rs act like people don’t want to work (and your point is that they do and they turn out to be good employees, with which I completely agree) when sometimes there are other obstacles.

    • foiled again

      That’s me in a nutshell: I can’t see and my teeth hurt, no joke.

      • BosGrl

        Exactly. It’s no joke and this should be part of basic healthcare, not supplemental or separate.

      • Morrigan in Oregon

        this is not spam, just hope it helps you, too.

        I signed up at Donated Dental Services a couple of years ago, and my name finally came to the top of the list this July. They found a place right here near me and removed everything, now I am healed for my denture fittings. I am so grateful!
        https://dentallifeline.org/about-us/our-programs/

  • Rick Hill

    Here. Take a break. This is the opposite of terrible trump antics:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlavAt18Zeo

    • BeachBum

      I am pretty sure I could live there.

      • Rick Hill

        For the next few years, at least

  • Angela Ruzzo

    Images of naked people just standing around is not porn. The definition of porn, according to Merriam-Webster, is “the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.” I’m sorry to say this, but that picture of a naked overweight man does not qualify. But this picture of Harrison Ford does, and he’s not even naked. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68933f37200c63ec2050a52ea033b39505d086459f5bb6c83ff24a46f6d78a3f.jpg

  • Rick Hill

    So, in regards to the players kneeling, when will someone point out that they are on their knee in prayer and that prayer takes precedence over any gubmint or constitution?

  • Jennaratrix

    What a Moran.

  • jesterpunk

    OT but I love how Green Day always bring someone on stage even at charity shows. They do it here during “Know Your Enemy”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEzQPnZOv1k

    • Three Finger Salute

      Billie Joe Springsteen.

  • David Chaillou

    Did anyone follow up on the theory that he has some form of personality or social disorder and perhaps we should show more kindness and understanding?

    • jesterpunk

      When he started impersonating people that went out the window.

    • Jennaratrix

      My version of showing kindness and understanding in such a situation is to flag and block rather than flame. That’s just going to have to be good enough.

    • Dude impersonated a wonker here who has mental issues and started saying shit about how they were made up and just attention seeking.
      So no. Fuck him.

    • SisterArtemis

      Sure, but extensions of kindness were rebuffed. So, no, not really.

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      LOLOLOLOLOL! Fuck that noise.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Tried that bought the tshirt

      • you did try :hugs: love you for that

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Always be the person you hope the other will be when you are in need.

    • BeachBum

      I tried. But he cussed at me when I suggested the Socratic Method. Maybe he thought it was Kamma Sutra Number 387.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Wolfie’ is just following the good Christian values of our Dear Dotard Leader and his modest trend setting wife. They have led us into a new age of Fundie Kindness & Gentillisse and acceptance. So it’s just natural his delicate sensibilities and precious snowflake nerves would be frayed by our occasional risqué posts! ~clutch the pearls~
    It’s only just what Republican and Trump Jesus would want.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/748164cd41d0ac5640f7aef236993291a11686ac056db7ae9754ffa4ae81edb6.jpg

  • dslindc

    He said he was following the rules, but we all know coments are not allowed on Wonkette and he posted comments anyway! What a idiot!

  • rosenbomb

    Wait, so this isn’t my personal support group for men bashing?

    • SisterArtemis

      Depends on the type of Bash, I suppose. For most of us in the Clique (lolz) it would be a mega-party! Yeah men (the nice ones, anyway) and pass the bottle and the bong!

    • Angela Ruzzo

      If you say it is, then it is. Power to the rosenbomb!

    • foiled again

      Rest assured many among us will self-bash on your behalf.

    • shivaskeeper

      It’s my personal support group for men bashing, and I am one.

      • SisterArtemis

        *smile*

    • BeachBum

      Bash away if you must. Just don’t spill my beer.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Bill D. Burger

      Ted is having an “Oh gawwd please look at ME because I want something” moment.

    • Walter Wellstone

      Fuck Ted Cruz.

    • cheetojeebus

      No doubt in my mind that it’s do to the bill not being fucking ruthless as fuck. In his mind it’s more ‘socialism’.

    • Christopher Story

      It was always politics. New York is a democratic bastion of anti-american liberal and progressive values, so of course they don’t get anything. But since Texas was a secessionist state, it’s a real Patriot and thus deserves all the monies.

    • Fartknocker
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      “For Now” means it’s either not shitty or not grifty enough.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Christopher Story

      Yeah, but what do they know? Just a bunch of coastal elites with their fancy degrees and ability to do math. Real Americans know healthcare is just a crutch.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        A $2,341 crutch, if you don’t have health insurance.

      • BeachBum

        And poor people can save money on crutches by buying them at the thrift store !

        • bupkus231

          Hell, go find your nearest forest and break off a tree limb or two….

    • Rags

      Koch-sucking R’s don’t care.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Repubs suck up to business constantly yet ignore 1/6 of the economy. It’s mind-boggling.

  • herrointment

    Worst “Dear-Shit-For-Brains” ever.

  • major_asshole

    Poor innocentWolf Whatever–his feefees got hurt! Can’t take any criticism or someone telling him he’s full of shit. Can’t be bothered to critique the rest of his ranting, but two points:

    1. Dok, even a curosry glance at any article you write reveals your name to be Marty Kelley. How the fuck does some mindless troll not see that and accuse you of hiding behind a (frankly beautiful) nom de plume?

    2. All his complaints about anxiety attacks, sleepless nights, and PTSD just make me want to slap the shit out of someone [an act which is not banned by the Rules, as I am not advocating violence against him in particular]. Even money says the jackass knows not the first fucking thing about any of those conditions. Know what he DOES know about? Never hearing someone disagree with him.

    Also, for fuck’s sake, the motherfucker got all light-headed and pearl-clutchy when someone MAY have posted something obscene? Has he never been on the goddamned internet before??!!

    Fucking hell.

  • msanthropesmr

    Imma have a lawsuit against the trolls for not being interesting enough.

    • Bill D. Burger

      And “Wolf Tracker” and all his socks are about an hour and a half past stupid. We need, at the least, a more intelligent representation for the trollherd.

      • MasRioBravoHombre

        The real Wolf Tracker is a wonderful poster, check out MMFA and see.

      • bupkus231

        “…a more intelligent representation for the trollherd.”

        If they were more intelligent, they wouldn’t be trolls.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So Trump is mad because when he owned a USFL team he convinced the other owners to have games in the fall in direct competition with the NFL because Trump believed the USFL would draw viewers away from the NFL, thus forcing the NFL to bring on the USFL in a merger ala the AFL. THis didn’t work, Trump was dumb, the USFL folded and Trump is an idiot. Is that it in a nutshell? Can someone hep me to the lawsuit where Trump won a dollar?

    • I hope when they paid the dollar, they did it in check form so he had to pay the checking fee to cash it in.

    • TJ Barke

      Idiotic. I’m not even a business person and I could tell you that. Why compete for viewers, when you could have a separate season and just draw the same viewers?

    • puredog

      Three dollars. Triple damages under antitrust laws. True fact.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I have this to say to Mr. Wolf Tracker. Those of us who support the liberal agenda are reproducing, and you can’t stop us. I just got my first Great-Nephew, and he will rise up and conquer the world one day, once he gets out of diapers.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c8354ddeb83dfce3f110e0a96a52829ceddb46dede0032d821876711141084d2.jpg

    • heh. Gonna seem to his parents he raised up and conquered the room when he becomes a toddler.
      Look at them puddin face!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Look at them fingers! He’s going to be a violinist or a concert pianist at the very least! Just like his grandpa or his mother or his great aunt! Blessings be upon him!

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Congratulations!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Well, I have to go get ready for work. Stay lovely and strong Wonkers, I’ll see you tonight.

  • PigDootsMolloy

    A non-naked clown. Clarabell looks like he’s dreaming of a ball ‘n beer and a Pall Mall.

    http://www.shorpy.com/

    June 1953. “Howdy Doody Show’s Clarabell the Clown (actor Nick Nicholson) pays a one-week visit to the Dolan family in Boone County, West Virginia, after Linda Dolan, daughter of coal mine foreman, was the winner of the ‘I’d Like Clarabell to Visit Me Because’ contest.” From photos by Phillip Harrington for the Look magazine assignment “Clarabell Takes to the Hills.”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4eceadb418a9003b4b1dce6437e4bcbd0a7002a03eb7ffb0c1260d2e5bb2a464.jpg

    • wait! what?

      There’s a Peter Boyle resemblance, here. May he R.I.P.

    • foiled again

      This would be a heartwarming photo if it weren’t so upsetting.

      • Serai 1

        Upsetting? It’s a creek, not a sewer!

        • foiled again

          One person’s creek is another person’s sewer.
          With clowns.

  • msanthropesmr

    Am I part of the cool.kid clique?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      We all are today.

  • cheetojeebus

    I don’t think I’m alone in thinking that Jefferson et al would be horrified at a fucking pledge of allegiance to begin with.

    • Jennaratrix

      I know I am. I don’t recite the pledge of allegiance, I don’t put my hand over my heart or worship a flag. I love my country, but I don’t, like, bow down to it. Pledging allegiance, putting my hand over my heart – these things feel weird and wrong to me, so I don’t do them. I stand for the anthem, I may or may not sing along, but I don’t go full on patriorgy. If you WANT to, if it feels right to you, then go for it; but we don’t have to. That, at least for now, is the beauty of America. We have the freedom to decide for ourselves what constitutes patriotism and love for country, and how to show that – or not. The fact that so many people fail or deliberately refuse to understand this is disturbing.

      Orwell’s 1984 is more relevant every day. Stupid, ignorant, unimaginative people who want to be told what to do and when to do it because it makes them feel safe, for whom freedom is frightening; they scare me more than just about anything on the planet.

    • Serai 1

      Kinda surprised they didn’t put anything in the Constitution about not having loyalty oaths. Wait, is there something in there about loyalty oaths? Because there really should be.

      • cheetojeebus

        they probably thought it obvious.

        • Serai 1

          *sigh* Yeah, they seemed to think a lot of things were obvious.

  • Walter Wellstone

    It is posible this dude wanted to sow some chaos into the overall Interwebs social fabric and chose yr wonket for shits and giggles. I doubt there is an agenda behind such flagrant level of derp. If there is I suggest he gets back on his meds pronto because obviously shit’s fucked up in his head, yo.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I just don’t think his thinking is that strategic. He did it for the cheers.

    • Serai 1

      Yeah, unfortunately it’s not possible anymore to just wave such stuff away and say it has no agenda. I think it’s been proved we don’t know who these trolls are, and the professionals are VERY good at faking being HAHA DON’T CARE trolls.

  • suziq

    Steelers did not even go out on the field today for the national anthem-interesting!!

    • Walter Wellstone

      I love how this seemingly inane thing has quickly become a way to show Donald how much everyone hates his guts. It’s fun.

      • MasRioBravoHombre

        Taking on Kap? Okay…taking on the entire NFL, and LeBron and Steph Curry? What a fucking thumbdick.

      • suziq

        Some of the owners who supported him are speaking against this too. Wonder if this is what might turn some of his loyal hicks against him. Probably not.

        • TJ Barke

          “Course not, free speech is for whites! Not uppity blahs!”

        • Walter Wellstone

          Not the hicks. They’re safely on his side. Fuck the hicks.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Nope, they’re all playing Spot the Jewish Team Owner and calling for their hero to find a Second Amendment final solution to the Goodell problem. Sheesh, even Deflategate didn’t bring out that much anger among the most die-hard Pats fans. Neither is the fact that Kraft and Brady alike basically said let Kap play and shut the fuck up Donnie you’re out of your element.

      • Three Finger Salute
    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Why do sportsball games have to be these patriotic spectacles anyway? Besides there’s no law that says you have to stand for the national anthem any more than there’s a law that says you have to stand for the Hallelujah Chorus.

      • The Wanderer

        Does this also mean that the handicapped are unpatriotic, since they can’t stand as long as it takes for some ululating dingbat to finish dragging the last measure out to 147 syllables?

      • Serai 1

        Yeah, seems to me they could take care of the whole schtuss simply by not playing the fucking song.

      • bupkus231

        I think the operative word there is “spectacle”. The NFL and the TV networks don’t give a shit about “patriotism”, except how they can use it to “enhance” the spectacle – which gets paying customers in their seats.

        They’d use Satanic rituals instead, if the goobers wanted ’em…. [ “Satanic rituals” named here merely as an example. No endorsement or disparagement meant…. ]

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Well, a flaming pentagon and a ritual sacrifice or two (not sure of what) would fill those stadiums right up.

  • Scooby

    OT but take a look at this and let me know if you think it applies to Trump trying to get players fired.
    https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/227

    • jesterpunk

      Thats what it looks like to me but I am not a legal type person.

    • cheetojeebus

      I think this clause isn’t violated. “solely on the basis of partisan political affiliation”

      • I dunno. According to Fox et al, it is partisan to take a knee. It is liberal.
        Therefore, revenge upon knee taking is conservative.

      • Scooby

        I thought the same.

    • Rick Hill

      Well, of course. trump had someone look up all the laws so he could make sure he breaks each one.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      You don’t need to go to the US Code. It’s in the fucking Bill of Rights.

      • Scooby

        Yea, but this would make it criminal.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      The wonkattorneys who comment here will tell me not to quit my day job, but it might make a difference that he was speaking at a political rally and not in his official capacity as president. I still think he’s an asshole.

      • jesterpunk

        He was twitting about it and the White House has said multiple times his personal twit account is official communications from the PeeOTUS.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          Correct I’d forgotten about that. I’m sure the Republican controlled congress will get right on that. Crom, I hope we can at least flip the House.

          • jesterpunk

            Yeah the most that will happen is they become deeply concerned.

        • Serai 1

          Yep. He can’t have it both ways.

      • Scooby

        But then he tweeted it in his capacity as President. He’s devoted so much time to this I think that’s a hard argument to make.

      • Jennaratrix

        I think that as the sitting president, wherever he’s speaking, it’s in his official capacity. He doesn’t get to turn that shit on and off. I am also not an attorney, but I’m pretty sure if he stands at a podium with the presidential seal, is introduced as the president, and says he’s the president – well, he’s speaking as the president.

  • foiled again

    This past week some kook caught up with me at the Dangerous Minds comment section with a lot of confusing baloney- accused me of siding with some sworn enemy of his from the Wonkette commentary section. Wha-a-? Very, very weird. To their credit the commentpolice over at DM wiped out the offending confusion.

    Moral: Some folks have WA-A-A-Y too much free time.

  • Rick Hill

    Unidentified Wonker, captured in his relaxed state
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/am2m744_700b.jpg

  • DON’T POKE THE BEAR!

    So how did that work for you Dok?

    Besides making a total ass of yourself by attacking people that were members online should do wonders for getting new members you also couldn’t point to a single reason for banning any of the people you think are in your article and no they are not all the same person.

    You also openly admitted you did troll that person with 3rd party comments and you did allow obscene material to be posted to the forum which you did not remove even after notified and then you go on to tell people that is legal and acceptable.

    Well, Anthony Weiner and Eric Bolling will sure by happy you just cleared them of their crimes.

    You also made it clear that fat shaming is acceptable as long as you make the immature excuse that the picture you used is really old and somehow noticing attractive people is sexual harassment.

    Anyone see the hypocrisy in those statements?

    So you got some upfists from the same few trolls you have been pandering to all this time and most intelligent people will read that and see that the asshole is you and you just made that very clear.

    Good job Dok!

    Don’t bother to respond because unlike the losers on here circle jerking for upfists I have better things to do than waste my Sunday on Wonkette and I have friends over to drink Mexican beer, and eat Italian pizza and watch American football while our players take a knee against Trump.

    Go Packers!

    • No, they are all the same person.
      You.
      And you still suck. And are still wrong about everything. And A Lady is telling you how wrong you are.
      Yay!

      • Serai 1

        You gotta wonder how stupid he is that he thinks we can’t figure out all his fucking sock puppets.

    • jesterpunk

      You have better things to do.. yet you are here with another dumbass comment.

      • stumpknocker

        and a long one too.

      • bupkus231

        That was my thought exactly….

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      Whining twatwaffle. Find a Nazi rally, and go get your white ass kicked.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • wait! what?

        …and then she’d blindfold it and lead it into lake Placid.

    • cheetojeebus

      yawn tldr – fuck off

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      Here’s how you should spend your time: Fuck you,…and then fuck you some fucking more, thumbdick.

    • Walter Wellstone

      If you have better things to do, by all means: fuck off.

    • TJ Barke
    • The Wanderer
    • Bill D. Burger
      • Jennaratrix

        LITTLE BITCH LIBELZ!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      And here you are, showing up to see if we’re making fun of you.

      Yes, we are making fun of you.

      Now give me a kiss, then go watch your game.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9445b11d491fea81a56de4cf630b1e88d620d016b7ac02a48632ec7cfc709e10.jpg

      • wait! what?

        Great pick. Have you been working out?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Kicking and stomping practice! Thanks for noticing!

    • Daniel

      Your claim to not care is belied by your behaviour.

    • YayConspiracy

      Go Packin’!

    • Jennaratrix

      *yawn*
      0/10, would not read again.

    • TJ Barke

      Also, gross, now I can’t root for the Packers anymore…

      • Since he is a contrarian and obviously does not believe anything he actually posts, he is probably not a Pack fan, is having german beer and greek pizza, and has no friends.
        So you’re good to go!

    • andyshelt

      “I have better things to do than waste my Sunday on Wonkette”

      Says the loser who then goes on to post a lengthy and moronic comment on the very same Wonkette.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c9d4b07c6e86515d84688762b2827c67f6bc90261552242f1869737608c901e7.jpg

    • BeachBum

      Ah yes, Wisconsin. Now I see. The only state where a La Follette could be replaced by a Joseph McCarthy. Maybe the “frozen tundra” does take a toll on brain cells.

      • Walter Wellstone

        Scott Walker, Paul Ryan, Michele Bachmann, Sheriff Clark … fucked up place.

        • Left Coast Tom

          Bachmann has to be blamed on Minnesota…

          Green Bay – the only place where the NFL is actually socialist, and the county voted for the racist orange shit currently occupying the White House.

          • Walter Wellstone

            You are correct. Thanks for clarifying.

      • Jennaratrix

        WITH VOTES.

        • wait! what?

          And not “allegedly” punching Nazis.

      • Ωbjectifier

        A clue by four.

    • shivaskeeper

      What is you fucking malfunction Wolf Tracker? It’s all just jokes and memes remember? I don;t see why you should get all het up over jokes and memes.

      Joke and memes are harmless. You, yourself, went out of your way to try to prove that. They are just jokes and memes.

      Jokes and memes motherfucker. You really should try to take some of your own fucking advice and adopting some of your own attitudes like letting the jokes and memes just slide on by since they are all just jokes and memes. JOKES AND MEMES!!111!11one1111!1!!

      You stupid fuckstick.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie
    • Alan

      You’re not old enough to drink beer.

    • andyshelt

      “I have kept a record of the members involved in the stalking and harassment and their forum comments for legal proceedings.We will be seeking the members legal names from Disqus and Wonkette for further legal action.”

      Feel free to add me to the list but as a Brit I’m not sure the extradition treaty between the US and UK includes being a bit mean to a random idiot on the Internet (I’m no legal expert though).

    • doktorzoom

      you also couldn’t point to a single reason for banning any of the people you think are in your article

      Impersonating others and trolling are bannable offenses. Yes, as the site operators we get to do that. You don’t like it, you are free to start your very own blog. Also, in at least some instances, you deleted your own Disqus account.

      and no they are not all the same person

      Yeah, they all just happened to sound exactly like you. We know all the fake accounts were from the same user — you’re not half as clever as you think, “News4You.”

      You also openly admitted you did troll that person with 3rd party comments

      Nope. I acknowledged that I said you seemed quite odd. I do hope that you find it more acceptable that I’m addressing you directly.

      you did allow obscene material to be posted to the forum

      There’s not a court in the USA which would find that photo, even unpixellated, “obscene.” Stupid, silly, a bit gross, and not something you’d run on prime-time TV, sure. But not obscene. If you believe it is obscene, please report Wonkette to the FBI, but only if you also share with us the results of your complaint.

      Well, Anthony Weiner and Eric Bolling will sure by happy you just cleared them of their crimes.

      Anthony Weiner pleaded guilty to sending sexually explicit photos of himself to a 15-year-old girl along with explicit discussions of sexual acts If you don’t know the difference between that and not freaking out over a dumb photo of a naked guy in clown makeup, who has a flaccid penis, posted in blog comments, we invite you to report Wonkette to the FBI, but again, you absolutely have to share all official reactions.

      Eric Bolling was fired from Fox News after sending nude selfies and lewd text messages to women who worked at Fox. He has not been charged with a crime, but from all the evidence, definitely deserved firing. If you do not know the difference between sexual harassment and a photo of a nude guy in blog comments, I can’t help you there. But please, go ahead and consult an attorney and try to sue us.

      You also made it clear that fat shaming is acceptable

      We actually didn’t say anything disparaging about the gent in the photo. He seems perfectly at peace with himself, and comfortable with his body. Go, fat naked hacker dude! (He always reminded me of the late publisher of MAD and EC comics, Bill Gaines).

      and somehow noticing attractive people is sexual harassment.

      You seem to think staring lustfully at women’s bodies is a fine thing to do, regardless of whether they wish to be leered at. Yes, we’re definitely the ones with a problem.

      We’re glad to know that all people everywhere agree with you.

      Bye, asshole.

    • Crz

      You say that all those accounts that Doc says are from one person are actually from separate people. How do you know that? Do you know those separate people personally? Do they all live inside your head with you?

    • Grumpy Twat

      “I have better things to do than waste my Sunday on Wonkette”

      You appear to be wasting your Sunday on Wonkette

  • Rick Hill

    Today…we are all….apemen!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eEep67akIn4

  • Raan

    Wolf Bear Tracker What: YOU CAN’T SWEAR ON THE INTERNET! OH WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?

    Practically the entire Wonketeriat: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8c0a2c0381e7a67d6ca5864d3cdc21ac97e63d2b66e31c12799ffff1d88846a5.png

  • Juan de Fuca

    I was willing to give Shumani Tutanka oh wha chi a break when he went to great lengths at explaining how hurricanes worked (for us idiots) and providing us with sage advice on how to survive after a hurricane by buying lots of Ramen noodles, canned foods and bottled water.

    That was until Robyn’s post about yoga pants and he literally typed something like “Yoga pants are unflattering and reveal too much cellulite on a woman” or something dipshittery like that and people had the nerve to correct him on it. But those of us who corrected him are somehow the bad guys in all of us. That dude needs help.

    • Meh?
      Fuck him. You’re nicer than I. He lost me after we were all Hitler for wanting to either remove statues or move them to a place of proper context.

      • Juan de Fuca

        I don’t know if it makes me nicer than you. I didn’t see that comment and didn’t see 3/4 of the ones that Dok posted above. I only saw the cellulite one and dude lost me. Then he threatened to sue me. LOL

        • It was day 1 when he first showed up. Seemed reasonable but could never answer why we could not put them in proper context in order to teach history. Then we were Hitler and he fights fascism whenever he sees it.
          Ayep. That is when I blocked. But then he made a new same name account, came back, and when I replied there, I was stalking him. So, I blocked again. At one point I had three of the same name blocked.

      • Serai 1

        Pfft. I blocked him almost immediately when he first showed up. He was so obviously a troll, I was puzzled why people were putting up with him.

        • :snugs: I tried doing the be nice benefit of the doubt thing. Once.
          ok, maybe twice.
          But after that? feh

          • Serai 1

            I used to be like that, but I’ve completely lost patience with these assholes. I’ll get out the gifs and maybe bat them around a bit, but I have no fucks to give anymore about whatever nonsense they’re yammering.

          • puredog

            The Serai Dancing GIFs Series was a high point, I’ll grant you.

          • Serai 1

            Got plenty more where those came from!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Ah, yes… The “hurricanes react just like bowling balls” bit. That’s when he invited me to block him and I did.

    • wait! what?

      Hmm. Corrective yoga pants could be a thing, I guess…

    • Serai 1
  • chascates

    Wow, what a bed wetter!

  • OT but with all the #taketheknee buzz, I had to turn the crank and start up my old copy of photoshop…

    Idiots. Fly. Flag. Of. Dead. Loser. Nation. Bigly.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9870da711c3a1df6617ae0dfbe887f3e6144e867b12e82b76bb26e4f15506894.jpg

    • Marion in Savannah

      Otherwise known as “the gonfalon of sedition.” H/T Charlie Pierce.

  • folderol

    I only come here for the full-frontal nudity.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Staaaaaahp’! You’re upsetting the trolls. Thanx’!

    https://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/MjAxMi1hYWJlOTU4YzM1MmJlYzk0.png

  • Serai 1

    HEY DOK.

    Not sure why, but the comment counters on the front page have all reset to zero. You might want to check that out or let whoever deals with site issues know.

    • jesterpunk

      It also reset random peoples comment to 0 when you mouse over their profile.

      • wait! what?

        I see this when I mouse over profiles. I’m using Edge because I like to fight with the technology I use.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dc36ab79f2613af408a1139f550d5b2c5b024a69407fc61a0a754aaba8ba41ff.jpg

        • jesterpunk

          Its kind of random, some people it shows full comment counts others it shows 0.

          • The Wanderer

            It’s also not showing the flag and block buttons.

          • jesterpunk

            Damn Dickus.

          • wait! what?

            …and its spouse, Incontinentia Buckets.

          • Marion in Savannah

            They’re showing up for me, but Disqus is borked as usual.

        • Think if you hover over mine you will see goose eggs.
          Which is great cause….it hides how much I don’t comment

          • Serai 1

            Are you replying to me? Because Disqus has borked the comments again, and I can’t tell who’s replying and who isn’t.

    • shivaskeeper

      Because Disqus. That’s the answer.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Derpqus

    • doktorzoom

      Yeah, that’s Disqus, not us. I imagine it’s temporary.

  • Serai 1
    • TJ Barke

      If at some point he says “an moran” it’ll be confirmed.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Ditto “canned clams” or “vegan baby butthole yodeling.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Fuckin’ A.

  • Alan

    So has he shown up yet today?

    • Of course. Dok is now a hypocrite and he’s not the same person really and we’re all something or other, I sorta glossed over it.

      • Alan

        Oh geez. You would think he would have something better to do. Like finishing his homework or playing with his friends.

        • jesterpunk

          He stopped by to tell us he is a very important person with very important people things to do like eat pizza and watch sports ball.

          • Panika MCD

            okay, so that takes me back to Cillizza.

          • jesterpunk

            Its really starting to seem like your theory might be right.

          • Panika MCD

            well, but he could be the dude from that old internet photo…except for not being hirsute. I mean, enough time is passed that it is possible.

          • puredog

            Yeah, Sunday is probably Wolf Tracker’s day of rest, he likely being a xtian and sportsballer and all. What I still want to know: Is he also TLM?

          • jesterpunk

            I don’t think so, TLM just posts the same copy paste stuff all the time.

        • OutOfOrbit

          hehasno friends

      • Alan

        I didn’t have to scroll far to find him.

      • TJ Barke

        We’re all sock puppets.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Put your faith in Him, Wolfie…..His rod and staff will comfort you.
    ~ramen~

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1229817a0bd34797bcf5ca23364b02b97d58674ba64d263c4fa3fab6a5f7baee.jpg

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      That is soooo wrong. And I laughed anyway.

      • I snorked and went welp, goin to hell anyway

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          We’ve rented a luxury bus for the Wonketteers going to hell … might need TWO buses now …

  • CO
    • jesterpunk

      But it worked in the last election…

  • natoslug

    So, what’s the official category we should use for flagging our honored King of the DSFB’s? Impersonation? Spam? I tried to find the “pointless twunt” category, but it appears to be hidden on my browser.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I used Impersonation.

      • natoslug

        I keep bouncing between Spam and Impersonation, but will now stick with Impersonation.

      • puredog

        “Impersonation” or “harassment,” depending on the content of the individual post.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I used targeted harassment, because he keeps calling out Dok and Becca by name.

      • Among the users he keeps after!

      • natoslug

        Sorry, Cynmac was faster. I’m going with Impersonation. He shouldn’t have tried pretending not to be an all-around asshole in his first post.

    • shivaskeeper

      Usually it’s targeted harassment or impersonation.

      I’m pretty sure it doesn’t really matter as those are Disqus distinctions and not something Dok or Shy set up. The flag is the most important part.That’s the part that alerts the mods.

      Unless I am completely wrong.

    • wait! what?

      I’d go with “constipation in the narrative.”

    • doktorzoom

      Categories don’t actually matter — all I see in the moderation dashboard is that something was flagged, and how many times.

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Really? Disqus has a really stupid system now where we have to choose a category and none of them are odious asshole.

        • doktorzoom

          I imagine they do their own statistics stuff with it.

      • natoslug

        Perfect. I will make sure I flag rather than just block.

      • shastakoala

        And don’t forget texts and phone calls.

      • Serai 1

        Thank the gods for that!

      • puredog

        That’s funny. sort of like the “Close Door” button on an elevator (though slightly better).

  • Bill D. Burger
  • FukuiSanYesOta

    “Bowling for Hurricanes: The Wolf Tracker story”

    Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies
    Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Lol! Was just thinking about that yesterday:

      https://youtu.be/GVmeeYwEiQw

      • shivaskeeper

        You go inside the cage?

        Cage goes in the water. You go in the water. Shark’s in the water.

        Our shark.

        (que song)

  • jesterpunk
  • shivaskeeper

    And I just had to upfist everyone under WT’s comments. Since he made it clear the way to win Disqus comment thread disagreements is by counting the number of upfists. Now my upfisting finger is tired from clicking. Don’t let it happen again.

  • Ωbjectifier

    We need a headcount to see who got rapturized yesterday.

    • I did. But then sent me back. Something about a mistake in paperwork.
      Figures really.

      • natoslug

        I wasn’t wearing pants. Apparently this was not a pantsless rapture.

      • jesterpunk

        You didnt have a permit?

        • wait! what?

          Sponge Bob got to go. Apparently, you don’t need a permit to drive a sandwich.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Pwnin’ the Bear

        *snicker*

      • BeachBum

        “Heaven Can Wait”

    • OutOfOrbit

      i am not one missed the bus was going potty

    • wait! what?

      I came close, but I just ended up faking it so feelings wouldn’t get hurt.

    • janecita

      I refused to go when I saw that the Duggars were also going.

    • Juan de Fuca

      I wasn’t driving a car so I guess that’s why I got left behind.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I didn’t!

    • Arolpin

      I didn’t. Probably because I was camping with 17 boy scouts. Would have been irresponsible to leave them without adult supervision (to a larger degree than we already did). There is one little shit who definitely needs to be raptured, and I had to give him a ride home. Luckily he slept the entire way, as did my boys, because they really don’t like this kid.

      • wait! what?

        So, you kept all the rapture badges for yourself?

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Not me. It’s all the cursing.

    • BeachBum

      I didn’t. Guess I didn’t make the cut. I was watching my Alma Mater fight over a pig skin bag of air on the tee vee.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Eh, came back. It was boring.

    • shastakoala

      As usual I slept through the whole thing.

    • puredog

      I’d stepped out for a beer, and so missed it. Just as well, it was a very good beer (and, no, I was not seventeen).

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      I told them I had the flu and I really didn’t want to get anyone up there sick. They countered that excuse by saying that was a really noble selfless thing to do, so I really ought to get raptured.
      So I told them I was actually going to be looking up clown dicks on the internet.
      They said well then I REALLY have to get up there right now.

      I didn’t go.

  • Eileen Besse

    I’m no mental giant, but he was the reason I mixed up posters FOR THE ONLY TIME EVER!!!!!! Replied to the wrong person (for which I’m still sorry).

    • BosGrl

      Not your fault. You’re not psychic. I wouldn’t have thought to look at the number of posts, either, but now we all do.

      • jesterpunk

        Disqus is borked now and shows 0 for comments for some people when you mouse over their name.

        • BosGrl

          Yes, that’s not helping. But if 0 posts how could you be responding to something they posted? I’m tired.

          • jesterpunk

            Yeah that is the fun part. Good thing comments are not allowed here or we would have a bigger problem.

          • puredog

            It is all because there are no comments allowed here.

        • bubbuhh

          However, you can still see the actual posts if you click on the avatar. If there are more than a few and the posts are what you expect, it’s not an impersonator.

  • BosGrl

    Oh dear. Went on FB to wish someone a happy birthday. Fans who would follow Tom Brady through famine and pestilence now pissed off at those disrespectful, ungrateful Pats for kneeling or otherwise being supportive of their teammates. Sad!

    • Pft, they will be over it if they win again.
      See. They OWN those men. Like slavery own. No really, that is the common mentality.

      • BosGrl

        You are absolutely right. I just find it funny – the thought of them scraping off all the Patriots stickers from their cars and taking down the flags from their porches.

      • BeachBum

        Even in Green Bay ? I am shocked.

  • r m reddicks

    I seem to recall he was at Bundyland back when. oggled! I want to keep that.

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
    • Walter Wellstone

      I love how now this is all about sticking it to Donald and his fans. Love it.

    • Crank Tango
    • shivaskeeper

      Rarely will you see something backfire this spectacularly on anyone. This is some serious happy nice time shit to see.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I also love when he held up his fist at the end.

  • ltmcdies

    alright…most humorous tweet today about football

    https://twitter.com/Sathnam/status/911980390323277824

  • jesterpunk

    Stevie Wonder didnt just take a knee he took both knees last night. Dont read the comments though, snowflakes feelings are hurt because of that.

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/people/2017/09/24/stevie-wonder-takes-both-knees-global-citizen-festival/697874001/

    • janecita

      I triggered my daughter last week by telling her that, “Stevie Wonder didn’t see anything wrong with the confederate flag.” She didn’t know he was blind:-)

      • jesterpunk

        There are actual right wing morans who swear he is faking being blind.

        • janecita

          God, some people are really fucking stupid!

        • Three Finger Salute

          There’s also Rash Limburger, who believes Michael J. Fox fakes Parkinson’s as an excuse to keep getting work. Part of that whole Colbert syndrome where ignorant rethugs (who can’t tell fiction from reality because they’ve spent their entire lives thinking that the Bible is real but the parts about helping the poor and feeding the hungry don’t apply to them) felt “betrayed” upon learning that he wasn’t really a Reagan worshiper.

          But he is legitimately afflicted with Parkinson’s, and still gets work because (to paraphrase Al Franken) he’s good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like him. (aka he’s a real Canuck). Rash Limburger, however, is legitimately afflicted with craniorectal inversion syndrome.

          • BJW

            All the upvotes, especially for “Rash Limburger.”

      • Three Finger Salute

        He, uh… inadvertently set himself up for the joke when he said at a recent charity event for hurricane victims that climate change deniers are blind. Obviously, per the sentiment and the fact that he performed at the concert, Stevie’s not a climate change denier…

        • Old town Urbandale

          It seems to me that yeeeears ago there was some telethon or benefit or something and it was being thrown to Stevie in South Africa or somewhere, and there were technical difficulties, and the host said like, “Stevie, can you see me?”

          Holy shit, I’m not crazy, and it *was* Andy Williams, like what I remembered but thought was too unlikely. 1975 Grammys…

  • BadKitty904
    • The Wanderer

      Fucking A.

      • Eileen Besse

        Fuckin’ A.

    • shivaskeeper

      Under all circumstances really.

    • Three Finger Salute

      God damn, that son of a bitch is fucking right!

  • Panika MCD

    now that we’ve all be revealed for the shewoman man-haters that we really are, do we get pie or something?

    • The Wanderer

      I call dibs on s’mores pie.

      • Maggielle

        I’ll take the shoofly pie my grandma made – pie crust with a molasses crumb cake filling and topping.

    • jesterpunk

      Just have to hurry before that weird jello desert is all that is left.

      http://www.pieoneer.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/pinnacle_hdr-piegrid1-1250×500.jpg

      • Panika MCD

        I like jello, but it is salad…no?

        • jesterpunk

          Some people bring this monstrosity when you say bring pies.

          https://www.aroundmyfamilytable.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Spring-Jello-Salad-19.jpg

        • Courser_Resistance

          Well, when you put shit IN the jello i.e. fruit cocktail, grapes, citrus (which doesn’t work, duh), cabbage, onions, whatever-that-thing-in-the-crisper. Then serve with mayonaise/Miracle Whip. That is a thing called ‘jello salad’. My gramma was queen of the jello salads. Tons of fancy molds, etc.

          • Panika MCD

            a) do not put shit in jello. what are you doing? trying to make a human centipede?

            b) Miracle Whip is of the devil.

          • Courser_Resistance

            Gramma had a mold that looked kinda like a centipede.

          • Old town Urbandale

            b) is one of the truthiest truths, but a)??!? I’m all verklempt thinking about the strawberry Jello with banana slices that my dear departed Grandmother would make when she babysat me the half-day I wasn’t in kindergarten.

          • Panika MCD

            but when he said “shit” I thought of poop. your grandmother’s recipe is fine by me as long as I don’t have to eat it. (bananas and I have been at war for most of my life.)

          • Old town Urbandale

            Oh yeah duh, literal vs. figurative shit. The human centipede comment makes much more sense with the literal shit. Carry on.

          • Maggielle

            That’s a good memory. And strawberry jello and bananas go together. Its a snack! It’s just when you get to carrots, celery, walnuts, fruit cocktail and Miracle Whip and fancy molds and call it salad that I say please spare me from those flashbacks.

            (Although I have to acknowledge that time back way back when I was little, we didn’t have the same access to a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables as most of us do now.)

          • puredog

            Devil libelz.

      • BadKitty904
    • Juan de Fuca

      Or at least those TastyKakes we like?

    • Walter Wellstone

      Cake; and coffee.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Covfefe?

    • Ricky Gay

      No, make me a sammich!!1

      • Panika MCD

        do I look like the Kraft Service Table?

        • wait! what?

          Hmm, not sure if deja-vulveeta, or…

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I hope it’s cheesecake instead. I really love cheesecake.

      • Panika MCD

        if you’re buying, you can get whatever you want.

  • MilwaukeeKent
    • natoslug

      Is Tom Brady trying to put his hand over his heart, or is he suffering from heartburn/indigestion?

      • wait! what?

        New nipple ring; 00gs are a bitch.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Wolf Tracker is taking my jerb – for I am the most deep-cover Wonkette troll evar. Tremble before my might, and wait in terror for my onslaught!

    • SnarkON

      I personally love you.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        {blushes}

    • TJ Barke

      Well, your nym is obscene…

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I like to think of it as playfully suggestive.

        • Rocky E

          That’s not your real name?
          You mean some of the names here are made-up?
          Hmm,

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            I’m really a hippo.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Yes, it certainly is, Mister Thrustwell! *giggles*

        • puredog

          “Single entendre.”

    • puredog

      Hey, have a heart. Uncontrolled trembling makes it hard to type.

  • SnarkON

    Dammit. I have mixed feelings about this. I kind of liked Wolfie for a while because he took some of the contrarian heat off of me. Also I didn’t completely disagree with a lot of what he said. … I’ve been off Wonkette for a while (busy with work) and missed the incel shit and lawsuit threats, which obviously I can’t get behind. However, I do agree with Wolfie’s assertion that there is a small but obnoxiously thin-skinned group of neurotics “…that think they run Wonkette and want to drive away anyone that doesn’t follow their agenda.”

    After tangling with those PITA commenters one too many times, I finally concluded that life is too fucking short to have to listen to them. I’ve blocked them all (about a half-dozen people), Wonkette is fun again, and, yes, I still donate every month.

    • Panika MCD

      I just come here to be pantsless.

      • msanthropesmr

        I came here for an argument.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          No you didn’t.

          • Jennaratrix

            I say he did. YOU’RE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT!

          • Lance Thrustwell

            No I’m not.

        • ariel_gee_398

          Arguments are down the hall.

        • Panika MCD

          I know you are, but what am I?

        • Th’ottest curry in th’ouse

          No you didn’t

      • Walter Wellstone

        As one should.

      • Joe Beese

        On the Internet, no one know you’re pantsless. (Unless you tell them.)

        • Panika MCD

          then how did WT know that I was a shewoman manhater? hnnng?!

          • msanthropesmr

            Aren’t we all.

        • Lefty Wright

          I may be wrong, but I seem to recall a comment from Walter Cronkite upon winning a best dressed award. He said no one would know if he was wearing pants during the show.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      What’s a PITA? besides hollow flatbread.

      • Jennaratrix

        Pain in the ass.

    • janecita

      I agree with you. I did the same and I’m way happier.

    • Jennaratrix

      There is kind of a cool kids club; nature of the beast, I’m afraid. I’ve found I agree with the hive mind more often than not, but it is annoying to run up against a gang. It’s the reason I left MetaFilter after over a decade of contributing; it’s not just that I wasn’t in the club, but that it felt like hitting an invisible wall sometimes. I do my best here to not join the hive mind or argue with it; blocking certain posters, at least for a period of time, helps.

      • Joe Beese

        The MetaFilter mods are probably the most thoughtful and hard-working in the business. They had the patience of saints to put up with me for as long as they did.

        But yeah, criticizing Obama from the left, especially during his first term, was cue for a gang stomping beyond anything I’ve seen here.

        • doktorzoom

          Well, except when Layne was doing it already in the main posts…

      • puredog

        I hear you. Sometimes I post something I genuinely feel (even knowing that it may be wrong-headed or, from the Wonkette perspective, “politically incorrect”) and I feel the hive mind turning against me. To try to forestall this reaction, I purposely couch the opinion in the most respectful tones, going out of my way to make sure that it is not unduly inflammatory. Sometimes that works. Sometimes I find myself getting, nonetheless, predictably singed. It’s a bit tiresome, but overall, the Wonkette experience remains a plus, and I don’t often do this.

      • folderol

        What? Cool kid’s club?? Oh my god… I sense a serious disturbance in the force… emanating from me, I think.

    • jesterpunk

      I blocked a few people here, but most commenters are fine even when they are contrarian.

      • Panika MCD

        I’ve even gone back and unblocked a couple.

        • Jennaratrix

          Me too. I don’t want to live in a bubble; I like hearing opposing ideas. But it gets to be a bit much and I need a break.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah, If I block someone that is a frequent poster I will go back after a day or 2 and unblock them then if I block them again they stay blocked. The first one is like a timeout.

        • BosGrl

          Once you start spoofing people, you’re no longer just trying to put forth a differing opinion.

          • Panika MCD

            I don’t think WT ever was. I think he thought he was doing us all a favor by sharing his distinguished knowledge from the google machine. I guess he thinks none of us have google. he also seemed to think none of us could check a weather report.

          • puredog

            Why should we? We know which way the wind blows.

          • Jennaratrix

            I’d agree with that; some people have different opinions and contribute to the discussion, some people are just chaos-inducing trolls. Knowing the difference is the key.

          • BosGrl

            A vigorous debate when it doesn’t get personal or offensive is a good thing. It’s part of having an open mind. I don’t mind when someone tells me I’m wrong if they have something interesting for me to consider.

          • Lefty Wright

            Having reasons helps if you are contrarian. Just calling someone an idiot doesn’t, unless their idiocy is so apparent it shines through like the noonday sun in Death Valley.

          • Jennaratrix

            In which case, you don’t really need to tell them… but yeah, exactly.

          • puredog

            And also too, telling them does no good.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Me, too. There are a couple of people, though, to whom I never respond because you never know what will trigger them and I don’t want to be their target.

          • Ricky Gay

            Oh, c’mon. I don’t mean half of what I post! :)

        • Juan de Fuca

          I’ve noticed there are certain parts of the day when your comments show up as “You can’t see me, because I blocked your ass again.”

          • Panika MCD

            I’ve never blocked you. you must be thinking of when WT tried to play me because he capitalized the first word of the sentence.

          • Juan de Fuca

            No, I was just joking. ;)

          • Panika MCD

            if you ever see me capitalizing things that do not absolutely necessitate capitalization, you run and hide.

            it’s the difference between:
            helping your uncle jack off his horse.
            Helping your Uncle Jack off his horse.
            helping your uncle, Jack, off his horse.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Agreed. and I apologize for arguing that with you in the past. I was in the wrong, ma’am.

          • Panika MCD

            we can have friendly disagreements. I’ve even had some unfriendly disagreements with h4rrh4r and we’re still not blocking each other.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Yeah. But I was kinda an asshole. I have this thing where I let everything out and expect everyone else to let everything out and then we all move on and learn from each other or at least agree to disagree and move on and forget about it.

            But some people (on the left and right) really do hold grudges (note: I didn’t call anybody a snowflake) and it’s difficult to gauge on the Internet. The thing I’ve been trying to learn is “Don’t come across like an asshole on the Internet” because a lot gets lost in translation. Then again, I’ve always known you to be somebody who can more than hold their own defending a POV and that’s why I like you and am thankful that you’re here. I was an asshole towards ya that one time. Thanks for not holding it against me. *offers a Shiner Bock*

          • Panika MCD

            I don’t even remember it. not everyone has had years of study and instruction on expressing things with just words. most people forget that intonation, facial expression and gesture do not translate on the interblag. and even though I did study the use of just words on a page, I don’t always get it right.

          • Phried Ω

            So that’s why I don’t understand e.e. cummings.

          • Panika MCD

            e.e. cummings didn’t capitalize anything. I capitalize the pronoun “I” and proper nouns.

          • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

            Can I get a ruling?
            Fuckin’ A, dude.
            Fuckin’ a dude.

      • shastakoala

        My inner voice screaming, “shut up, shut up, shut up” is as close as I’ve come to confronting an irritating person. Then I have a back spasm.

    • Joe Beese

      I dunno. I consider myself outside the mainstream of Wonk-thought and have received some spicy replies at times. But compared to places like Balloon Juice, it’s finger sandwiches and crumpets around here.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Me too. There still are some platform points that I disagree with, that I guess could be considered the “Wonkifesto.” I’m a cafeteria centrist, I guess? But at least I try to disagree and debate civilly, and don’t go out and harass people. That’s the one thing I don’t support. Peaceful protest. Not hurling Molotovs, whether literally (as in the case of the shit-disturbing wannabe campus revolutionaries), or metaphorically, as in the case of bombarding and browbeating other commenters.

        I don’t like it when YouTube trolls flood Obama videos with N words, and I don’t like it when they flood Trudeau videos with anti-gay slurs and vile commentary and conspiracy theories about his family. So I’m obviously not going to do the same, here or anywhere else. When they go low, we go high. Good advice from a very smart and classy lady, Michelle.

        • Phried Ω

          I would like to think that history is on the side of center left. You don’t see many conquistadors or Huns around anymore and I do enjoy a 40 hour work week as normal.

      • msanthropesmr

        Cannibal.

      • BeachBum

        I say, ole chap, would you indeed please pass the Grey Poupon ? And do not let the Bolly get warm today. Quite horrible warm.

      • SnarkON

        Oh, yeah; the vast majority of people here are hilarious and awesome. I’m talking about half a dozen people who were so emotional and quick to accuse me of being a misogynistic, homophobic dick, they just started to make me nuts. (Even more ironic, I am a woman with a gay kid, FFS.)

      • puredog

        Now I want a crumpet, and there are none at hand. Thanks, Beese!

    • Juan de Fuca

      I agree with a lot of that. Something I wanted to remind him of is that there are small clicks in every social setting. Ignore them and join another group of friends or at least learn how to be comfortable enough in your skin that you simply don’t give a fuck. I learned when I was young to be my own best friend and it’s worked for me. I think WT’s problem is that he’s simply a self-centered asshole who’s never learned how to play nice with others. Like, with anybody.

    • Crank Tango

      I used to hang out here a lot more back in the early Obama days and the vibe used to be a lot better, that’s for sure. Now it’s more like Gawker was.

      …waits for someone to correct me.

      • The Wanderer

        Never having been on Gawker, I cannot tell.

      • SnarkON

        It’s actually more like Jezebel IMHO, and I stopped commenting there, too, for similar reasons.

        • puredog

          At Jezebel the hive mind can turn VERY vicious, 0-60. For that reason, after they abandoned their original platform (and I don’t even remember what that was) and one started to have to go through various machinations to comment at all (of the sort that I never do, ONLY EXCEPT Disqus-ing for Wonkette), I gave up commenting there.

    • FauxAntocles

      I believe it’s the nature of libs to disagree with each other more than conservatives – we think about our positions and come to different conclusions while most conservatives will be your best buddy if you hate the same people.

      • Phried Ω

        I belong to no organized political party. I’m a Democrat.
        – Will Rogers

    • Maggielle

      Gosh, I think Wonkette is one of the more even tempered and pleasant of the political+ sites. Sure, there are people I see and avoid. I still visit and have respect for other sites, like eschaton, balloon juice, and alicublog – they’re all good places – but here’s where I’m most at ease, or at anyway it’s the place where I’m the least ill at ease.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        It is absolutely the most pleasant site I’ve ever been to, but it won’t ever be perfectly harmonious. Too many humans involved for that. The vast majority of the time, those accused of bad behavior have absolutely exhibited it.

  • msanthropesmr

    I’ll help you out, troller. My real name is
    Heywood J. Blome.

  • kfreed

    “Confederate monuments… educational”… “repeal ACA… progressive perspective”… “women wearing leggings begging to be ogled”… Yep, you bagged yerself an MRA/white supremacist.troll… those red flags could not have been any redder…. long before the “cease and desist” lawsuit threat.

    Then again, when progressives seemingly can’t discern their left form their right, you might (somewhat) be forgiven for letting a right-wing troll play you for days (or years, as the case may be): https://vimeo.com/107978679

    About your MRA troll…. Uk Alt-Right Report – a Whos Who of the Alt-Right (an incomplete list but they do provide mug shots):
    https://alternativeright.hopenothate.com/whos-who

    And since you mentioned confederate monuments… Oh Hey, guess who has unique “thoughts” on Lincoln :)

    “Julian Assange Has Thoughts About Lincoln” (in tweets): http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/09/julian-assange-thoughts-presidency

    Those thoughts sound suspiciously like Ron Paul’s neo-Confederate “Sout Was Right” speech (um…verbatim) : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEC68vTQwP8

    Wonder why Julian Assange is having identical thoughts on Lincoln straight from the Ron “White Power” Paul manual of Libertarian douchebaggery::

    “Julian Assange Backs Ron and Rand Paul” (video)
    http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2013/08/julian-assange-backs-ron-and-rand-paul/

    Ahem: Remember that neo-Confederate college “Liberty Tour” featuring Greenwald and Rand Paul’s “Southern Avenger”? : http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/42436_The_Convergence_of_Glenn_Greenwald_and_Rand_Pauls_Southern_Avenger

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c2ff435abd7df85c5b2f25a23cf81f530205aed67ac844fce8369dec17559135.png

    Yeah, a bit more on that there Ron Paul fan club (Greenwald, Assange, and Snowden): “Libertarian bum fights” https://www.nsfwcorp.com/dispatch/libertarian-bum-fights/

    And here is Greenald alongside Ron and Rand Paul over at the Koch-funded Young Americans for Liberty web page:http://www.yaliberty.org/posts/yalcon14-videos-ron-paul-glenn-greenwald-rand-paul

    Those MRA’s? Quite a few of them are listed among the alt-right goose steppers – thanks to a UK alt-right investigation that’s making the mainstream news rounds these days (they focus on the British scumbags for the most part and are therefore lacking a crap ton of coverage concerning the usual suspects): https://alternativeright.hopenothate.com/

    Meanwhile, Greenwald’s been posing as a “progressive” Bernie Bro these many months… THAT would be how we ended up with Trump (along with Russian interference and voter suppression). It also happens to be why the bros are screaming about how we ought to just ignore “identity politics” (the boogie of the alt-right). The argument we should be making is that white supremacy is “identity politics” at its worst :)

    Just sayin; for the eleventy thousandth time….

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • BadKitty904

      Thanks, GOP Congress!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    And now another episode of “#trollslivesmatter”

    • bubbuhh

      “#trollsliesplatter”?

      • Panika MCD

        I am not eating anything off that platter.

    • BadKitty904

      Have they started their gofundme yet?

  • VirginiaMorningBlend

    If cease and desist orders really worked on non commenting mommy blogs the canned clam industry would own this site.

    • The Wanderer

      Those MONSTERS!

    • Ωbjectifier

      We must stop Big Clam!!1!!

      • (((Aron)))

        Kinky.

      • Rick Hill

        How do you stop a bad clam? With a bigger good clam!!

        • eggs ackly-wright

          With a gooey-duck.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        Everyone, just clam down!

    • Rick Hill

      I for one welcome our new canned bivalved overlords.

      • Phried Ω

        Is that a foot in your shell or are just glad to see me?

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I visited a conch farm in the Turks and Caicos, She showed us a male conch, it was impressive to say the least.

    • cheetojeebus

      Canned Clams? It’s the worst two siderism! 2 hard sides with a soft squishy middle.

  • Poly_Ester

    This snowflake hasn’t melted, yet?

    • The Wanderer

      Nope.

  • Crz

    I went to Google Images and searched “clown dick”. Just wow.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      Do not search “corncob porn”.

      • msanthropesmr

        IN general, don’t search anything. It’s safer that way.

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          Staying off the internet would be ideal.

      • (((Aron)))

        DO search for ‘corncob pipe.’ Because good corncob pipes are AWESOME.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I just noticed all the duck paraphernalia behind the clown. Is that Blake Farenthold?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • CO

      Reclaim my time.

  • Walter Wellstone

    OK. I’m going to watch another episode of The Planets with Mike Massimino. Y’all have fun.

    • jesterpunk

      That is a great show, wish they would keep making more shows like that and less like the aliens shows.

    • NotALiar

      Is it on the flix?

      • Walter Wellstone

        National Geographic channel.

  • CO
  • BadKitty904
  • armed_bears
    • ariel_gee_398

      I mean, if you get out Con Lawed by Terry Bradshaw…

    • jesterpunk

      So Trump really did manage to unite the entire country. Who knew he would keep one promise.

    • BadKitty904

      Dang.

    • wait! what?

      Was Howie rolled up in a ball and crying in the corner?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I am not sure Trump didn’t violate Federal Law.

      U.S. Code § 227 – Wrongfully influencing a private entity’s employment decisions by a Member of Congress or an officer or employee of the legislative or executive branch
      US Code
      Notes
      prev | next
      (a) Whoever, being a covered government person, with the intent to influence, solely on the basis of partisan political affiliation, an employment decision or employment practice of any private entity—
      (1) takes or withholds, or offers or threatens to take or withhold, an official act, or
      (2) influences, or offers or threatens to influence, the official act of another,
      shall be fined under this title or imprisoned for not more than 15 years, or both, and may be disqualified from holding any office of honor, trust, or profit under the United States.
      (b) In this section, the term “covered government person” means—
      (1) a Senator or Representative in, or a Delegate or Resident Commissioner to, the Congress;
      (2) an employee of either House of Congress; or
      (3) the President, Vice President, an employee of the United States Postal Service or the Postal Regulatory Commission, or any other executive branch employee (as such term is defined under section 2105 of title 5, United States Code).

      • Raan

        Add it to the list.

      • TJ Barke

        This would matter if republicans actually cared about liberty and justice.

      • Says who?

        — Trump’s lawyer.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Nah. No “official act” involved. Pretty sure that means doing something involving lawmaking or appropriations or other actual government function.

        Wouldn’t put such a thing beyond the shitgibbon, but this ain’t it.

      • NotALiar

        Too bad no one has the guts to enforce it

    • CripesAmighty

      Terry Bradshaw?!?! Oh, dear.

  • RocketManCaptainHowdy

    What social groups use the term “normie”? I can think of only one type.

  • The Wanderer

    Ah . . .
    After a satisfying late lunch of moon and sixpence, I have settled in to laugh at the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Peace out, Wonkers.

    • amrak63

      Did that follow a hearty breakfast of cherubim and seraphim?

      I see I am not the only one here who has read the classic parody, Bored of the Rings. ^_^

      • TundraGrifter

        “Hogsheads of hogsheads.”

      • The Wanderer

        A magnificent parody of a beloved classic. It’s also my first exposure to tentacle porn.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    This must be so confusing for them. Oh wait – no it isn’t, of course…because IOKIYAR.
    https://twitter.com/AdamSerwer/status/911955665727389701

    • Rick Hill

      Well, I agree. Now, trump is on our time. Hows about he becomes dedicated to the needs of the People. Like he swore he would do.

      • Rick Hill

        Which, btw, is what I think trump uses as his out for any small nagging need to actually do the job for the People, he turns down his paycheck so he’s not obligated to do anything for anyone that isn’t named trump

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Not a chance in hell. All he wants is adulation and approbation, and the only people he’s getting that from is the deplorables. Look for him to give them more of the same, while the majority of Americans who view him, quite correctly, like something disgusting they scraped off their shoe get treated with contempt.

        • sarafina

          He wants more $$$$$$$$$$$$, also too.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Big diff. You don’t have free speech. The corporation has free speech. See? Easy.

  • Boscoe

    OT: Ted Cruz finally noticed that the cool kids who diss ACA repeal get all the attention…
    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-healthcare/senate-opposition-to-obamacare-repeal-bill-grows-idUSKCN1BZ0E7

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Something, something blind pig, now and then. Further nails in the coffin.

    • mancityRed6

      “pay attention to me, I’m relelevant!”

    • Raan

      Good.

      This doesn’t even come close to balancing out all the other shit.

    • sarafina

      The FSM and everyone else knows Sen. Anchor Baby isn’t doing it to help his constituents.

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        Sometimes, when the actions are good, the reasoning behind them has no need to be understood.

    • Werewolf

      Someone seems scared of Beto O’Rourke.

  • RocketManCaptainHowdy

    NFL players used the national anthem to show their defiance to President Donald Trump’s criticism, with at least 100 players kneeling or sitting in protest and one team staying in the locker room.
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/nfl-players-blitz-trump-with-game-day-protests

    • Juan de Fuca

      Fuck.Yes.

  • TJ Barke

    I bet all those freeze peach warriors like Milo and Spencer must be outraged about Trump trying to silence those NFL players. Oh, wait…

  • Covfefe

    My tribute to Wolf Tracker: 8-yr-old sings “Queen of the Night,” where the queen orders her daughter to murder someone with a knife (not with votes) from Mozart’s !agic Flute. I was going to post this as a response to something but cannot find or figure out where.

    https://youtu.be/sF0zePMxxys

    • folderol

      Her singing is precious, but her facial expressions are priceless.

      • therblig

        it must be a hoot when her parents tell her to do something she doesn’t want to do.

        • HogeyeGrex

          I’d advise her parents to lock their bedroom door while they sleep.

          • Lord Jim

            And draw a circle of protection around the bed.

    • CripesAmighty

      Crikey!!

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Seeds and derpdish orders?

  • Three Finger Salute

    OT: Very tragic incident in downtown Nashville right now. One dead and six injured so far in shooting at a church. (Yes, it is always a good time to talk about gun control.)

    https://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/at-least-eight-injured-in-gunfire-at-nashville-church/

    • The Wanderer

      Shit, piss, and bloody corruption . . .

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      OMG! I went to middle & high school in Antioch! But that was a very long time ago.

      • Three Finger Salute

        😞 Sorry to hear that this hits so close to home for you, SCB.

        My hope is that this will cause lawmakers to wake up but, it’s a shrinking hope to be sure.

        • BJW

          After Sandy Hook I lost all hope. Our country would now need a shooting catastrophe, like perhaps in the halls of Congress. Wasn’t enough that it happened at a ball game with Congressmen!

          • Lord Jim

            Same here. After Newtown, I knew it was over. If you’ll sit still for that, what will you stand for?

    • Serai 1

      …but of course, we can’t do anything about the guns.

      Hey, remember when the guns were an issue? When people cared about other people getting shot for no reason?

    • Kneeling Bozilingus

      Shooter is the deceased, shooting happened at a church in Antioch (suburb of Nashville), status of victims unknown.

    • eastcoastlib

      “We need to arm our clergy!!”

      Signed,
      Gun humpers everywhere.

  • ltmcdies

    hey Trump, Hillary would like you to do your fucking job….

    https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/911984783194050560

    • Ωbjectifier

      But…they’re Messicans.

    • BosGrl

      She should have called Fox and Friends with a handkerchief over the receiver and asked them to say it. Because now he’ll never do it.

      • CripesAmighty

        *snorfle!*

      • The Flaming Carrot

        She should have called Fox and Friends, talked in an artificial baritone, and identified herself as John Barron. That would have done it.

        • BosGrl

          Yes!!

    • Maybe he should let her do it, since he’s more interested in sportsball at the moment.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      I love this woman so freaking much.

    • cheetojeebus

      He has no idea there is even a USNS Comfort or even what USNS stands for. He is all rage and hate at the moment, the idea of helping Puerto Ricans is perhaps a bridge too far for his shit addled brain.

      • CripesAmighty

        Too busy yelling at black sportsballers (had a Fox and Friends crack, but BosGrl’s below was soooo much better–h/t!)

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        United States Navy Ship. I think it’s named that cause it’s non-combat.

  • guest1331now

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/fox-and-friends-cant-believe-nfl-players-protesting-least-racist-country-in-the-history-of-humankind?yptr=yahoo

    Fox and Friends Weekend host Pete Hegseth explains (unconsciously!) why we should ALL TAKE THE KNEE: “…if you have a white supremacist in the White House, then you have free rein to do whatever you want [in the way of protesting], everyone should take a knee. This is a cultural battle right now.”

    • TJ Barke

      Somebody ain’t gonna be invited back…

      • guest1331now

        Then Hegseth went on to say “This is the least sexist, least racist, most free, most equal, most prosperous country in the history of humankind.” Nope, nope, nope, nope, and nope. #racistsindenial

        • Three Finger Salute

          Something something Raymond Shaw Donald Trump is the nicest, yugest, bigliest, awesomest, most incredible president I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing in all my life.

          • guest1331now

            Ha, I can’t find it now but I saw a realz clip this morning of Maxine Waters telling AMsnbc Joy that Trump is the worst person she ever met …

          • The Wanderer

            I have never met nor spoken with Lord Dampnut. I have, however, had to have polite conversation with actual child rapists, murderers and mentally ill people. I cannot tell who would be worse, him or them.

        • eastcoastlib

          And we have the greatest health care system in the world, and all our penises are huuggee and everyone of our children are above average.

          • Lord Jim

            Garrison Keillor, is that you?

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            And all our neighbors’ kids are too dumb to pour the piss out of a boot if the instructions are printed on the heel…

            That was the Lake Wobegon sketch that made me laugh harder than any of the others. It’s the juxtaposition of a statement like that with Keillor’s normal, rather straitlaced demeanor that made me need to pull the car over because I couldn’t see for laughing.

  • mancityRed6

    I swear to god, you dress up in clown make up and take a picture of it once….

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I don’t know about the rest of you, but I get a little thrill when Dok Z facilitates my harassment, ifyaknowhaddamean, wink-wink. Sadly, I’m not enough of a boring repetitive troll to get much action *sadface.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      * * * IMPOSTER * * *

      Martini Ambassador 🍸
      Nasty woman
      0 comments • 0 votes

      And here we go.

  • TJ Barke

    This one goes out to Wolf Tracker: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAFsoz0IH44
    Pro tip: the moral of the story is; if you think everyone else is an asshole, it probably means that you are the asshole.

  • mancityRed6

    I’ll admit, I argued with them once. and on the night of the “incel story” I saw them denying it and did nothing.
    my bad.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OjW1TDANxk

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      mancityRed6
      “Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?”
      0 comments • 0 votes

      • mancityRed6

        huh, that’s damn weird.
        oh, dog, what if it’s me?
        no, really, that is really fucking weird.

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          It’s some and not others.

          • Lord Jim

            I have been memory-holed too, it seems. I have also been reduced to 0-0. So diqsux is completely borken naow?

          • RocketManCaptainHowdy

            It is an anagram of suq dis.

      • The Librarian

        Also, too I got one from you, but then it changed names about a zillion times. It wasn’t too bad. :D

        ETA Sorry, meant this for mancity

  • TundraGrifter

    First they came for the Incels and I said nothing.

    And I never will.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      ..

      • shivaskeeper

        Disqus is all kinds of fucked up today.

        • TundraGrifter

          What’s even worse – no place to ask about it.

      • Lord Jim

        Are you pregnant? You’re missing a period. (There should be 3 dots to ellipses)

        :P

        • Phried Ω

          I thought it was a Kilroy emoji.

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          There was an imposter scare and I deleted it. Disqus is showing people with 0 comments.

          .. is minimum allowed non-comment, is why.. Donut get me going on the donuts.

          • Lord Jim

            WHAT’S HAPPENING TO US? :P

  • SisterArtemis

    Jeez, you guys. Step away to the light table for an hour, and have 450+ comments to catch up on. Chatty bunch for a place where comments are not allowed.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      The yak is a noble animal. yak yak yak

      • The Wanderer

        Yakkity Yak!
        Don’t talk back.

        • Phried Ω

          Something about clowns in those lyrics, too.

          • Lord Jim

            Send in the clowns…

        • SkinlessGenderlessMan

          Yakkity Sax – the best Yak!

  • Juan de Fuca

    “Celebrate Martin Luther King Day and all of the many wonderful things that he stood for. Honor him for being the great man that he was!” – Trump (Jan, 2017)

    https://twitter.com/EricHolder/status/911887065461161984

    • BJW

      In Trump’s defense, he had NO IDEA what MLKJr did except he was black and did something. Maybe Trump thought he was a friend of Frederick Douglass. Plus that statement issued couldn’t have come from Donnie, as it used multisyllabic words.

  • RocketManCaptainHowdy

    A whole bunch of people are showing as 0 comments and others aren’t. Is it disqus?

    • amrak63

      Same here. Disqus suqqs qamel qoqqs qoated with goat muqus.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Yes, it is Derpqus.

      • amrak63
        • SkinlessGenderlessMan

          Sooooo….. I need to get a new logo and uniforms for our local Post Office?

          ‘Cause they do this a whole lot….

          • Shanzgood

            My carrier is awesome. She has dreds and tattoos and wears a skirt and tells me HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

          • SkinlessGenderlessMan

            Our carriers rock. The station that serves the house is great.

            The station that serves the office…

            I’ve seen five different managers in three years; the place eats them.
            It took over six months for them to consistently get a routine change-of-address right.
            I’ve seen the counter staff literally verbally abusing customers.
            Return-to-sender mail gets tossed in a box and dealt with every 4-6 weeks.
            The list is much longer.

            I’m a strong supporter of unions. This place is an example of the dark side. There is literally nothing station managers can do to correct the lack of competence and instill any sense that they actually have”customers”. The workers can’t be effectively disciplined for fucking up, and there’s no carrots available either. Any merit incentive ends up being opposed as not being based on seniority, and discipline is invariably challenged by union reps.

            Dunno what a fair solution is, but I do know that we send a lot more invoices and statements by email these days – at least we know the email gets out of our server….

    • therblig

      mine are still showing. can someone direct me to the page where i can redeem my upfists for valuable prizes before they go away?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Three Finger Salute

    Speaking of scary clowns and orange pumpkin-headed horses’ asses of the apocalypse, it’s almost October, but apparently the jury’s out on whether there should be a cutoff date for giving your neighborhood’s local candy people an October surprise:

    Canadian town proposes modification to curfew ordinance that would restrict trick-or-treaters to no older than 16, and only during specified hours — prompting some to ask: how old is too old to trick-or-treat?

    IMHO: Unless you’ve got kids and you’re going out with them, I’m actually going to say the 14-year-old ordinance is preferred. 16-18 only if you’re bringing younger siblings in lieu of your parents/guardians. But not prospective teenage pranksters all by themselves. I only continued going out past double digits because I kept my younger brother company. Other than that, there comes a time when you have to hang it up.

    The adults can go to college parties, cosplay cons or, I dunno, and this might be a controversial opinion, maybe just grow up and stop believing in Santa Claus while you’re at it? Last thing anybody wants is some deep-voiced creep in a Pennywise mask showing up and ringing the bell. (Or a priest, for that matter. Even — er, especially if it’s an actual priest.)

    The only other exception I could see for the adults is if you’re hosting or helping out with some kind of Halloween event for kids at, say, a school or the local Y or something. But no masks. Nothing on the face besides paint or kitty whiskers or something minimal like that. Adults need to have their faces visible at all times.

    These people pictured below have kids of their own that they’re bringing along. I don’t care if this particular adult male in this particular photograph showed up by himself at my front door, dressed as a Hutt slave in gold chains and started asking for “candy.” He is 45 years old. I’d still slam the door in his face and call the cops.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CSr46kKUwAA2Sy8.jpg

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      I went once with a couple friends in my early 20s. No-one said anything.

      • Three Finger Salute

        That’s the grey area: checking and enforcement of the curfew. How to know if a young-looking college student isn’t, in fact, 16, and what to do if they’re not. Or a teenager who’s big/tall for his/her age. Doubtful that Bob and Sally next door are going to card kids who might actually be too young to have a driver’s license.

        But I think just as a general unspoken custom, at some point you do get a little long in the tooth to be playing dress-up and ringing the neighbors’ doorbells if you don’t have a brood of your own. A party is one thing. The local candy people quite another. Some things are just bound to raise eyebrows or even red flags in mixed company.

        And even still, unless you’re an actor on-stage or it’s your job to put on a Mickey Mouse outfit at Disney World, what does it say if you’re childless and pushing 50, but still playing pretend like you’re 8 years old? By that point you should be able to afford your own Hershey’s bars and don’t need to go begging door-to-door for it… Otherwise you start to look like someone who’s looking for tricks and treats…

        • Jennaratrix

          This to me falls into the category of do whatever the fuck you want as long as it isn’t hurting anyone. Grown-ass adult or almost adult running around the neighborhood in costume (or not), asking for candy on a night when typically people do that – so the fuck what? Grown-ass adult dressing up as a sexy whatever and going to a party – so the fuck what? Neither of those things is hurting anyone.

          I mean, I don’t know what it says if you’re childless and pushing 50 but still playing pretend like you’re 8 years old – maybe it says you’re young at heart. Maybe you have some challenges and this is your way of getting past them. My bar is – is it hurting anyone? Are you personally being hurt by this mythical person? If the answer to that is no, maybe just let this one go. But that’s just me.

    • I hate that we treat all teenagers as “prospective pranksters” (or worse, prospective criminals). As the mother of an almost-adult…they grow up so damn fast. We’re having a lot of “lasts” this year, since its the kid’s last year as a kid. I’m not super-invested in trick-or-treating on his behalf (although he does usually join his younger brother and sister for a half hour or so of trick-or-treating before going off to do teenager things) but I just don’t see the harm in letting a 16 year old dress up and score some candy if they want to. Do you have a candy shortage going on or something?

      I’m 37 years old and I’ve never in my life seen a teenager cause any problems by dressing up and going around with a bag looking for treats. It’s generally the ones who are too cool for costumes and candy that end up being the troublemakers (and not all of them, either.) They’ll be stuck at home handing out candy or stuck at work missing all the fun or whatever soon enough. Let them trick or treat while they can.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I think the additional point of the cutoff date being 16 is to start weaning them off and getting them ready for adulthood. Otherwise you run the risk of ending up with Peter Pan syndrome 45-year-olds like hypothetical mirror-universe Trudeau in that example there, who think it’s perfectly normal to have a middle-aged man show up at someone’s door in costume asking for tricks and treats. You have to tell them at some point it’s time to hang it up and retire. Whether he looks like J.T. or like “fat guy at computer meme” is irrelevant. Scott Peterson was “hot felon” too.

        • I mean, adults dress up on Halloween too. It’s a thing. I do, if I have money for a costume or stuff around the house I can make into a costume. It’s Halloween. It’s what you do. It’s what most people I know do. My mom still dresses up every year, does her house up like a haunted house… Pretty sure she does more decorating for Halloween than Christmas. I don’t think dressing up for fun once a year means that you can’t be a responsible adult? It’s just a fun activity. Parents don’t usually actively trick or treat, because our kids bring home enough damn candy (though I know that in my town, there are always houses who put out coffee and donuts or whatever for the adults on Halloween, and we always make sure to hit those, because free treats are fun too!) But I think you’re reaching too much for a correlation between dressing up one night a year for fun and Peter Pan syndrome. I do think there’s a point somewhere where actually knocking on doors and asking for candy is too much, but I don’t really think it’s at 16. They’re still too young to drink or go to clubs or do most adult fun stuff, it seems unfair to also bar them from kid fun stuff. And just walking around in a costume on Halloween ought to be OK at any age. What do we still have Halloween for if not to dress up?

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            This is a valid point but I’m just gonna say that when a crowd of large teens who are not in costume show up at my door, it feels like a shakedown.

          • Jennaratrix

            Agreed. And I usually make a stupid mom joke, like “Oh, are you guys all dressed up as teenagers? Great costumes!” and give them each ONE piece of candy. I don’t assume all teenagers are up to no good, even though I was one and live with one.

          • Fair, I guess. But they probably just want candy like the younger kids. Give it to them and they’ll probably mumble “thanks” and go away, just like the younger kids. They may have worried that their friends would make fun of them in costumes – or just not had money for them – but still wanted to participate (because who doesn’t like free candy?)

            I don’t know. I see a lot of teenagers these days. So far it’s my favorite age for parenting. Mostly they’re good kids. And the statistics back me up here: https://www.vox.com/a/teens#year/1977 today’s teenagers are a lot better behaved today than my friends and I were at that age. I have sympathy for them. A lot of the teenage experience seems to be people yelling at them to grow up and not act too adult at the same time, and treating them as inherently bad all the while. And that’s without even getting into the extra hell that teenagers of color get to deal with. I feed all the ones that come by my house because that’s just what I do to comfort and nurture kids that are not my kids. I can’t see begrudging them some candy.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Maybe it’s because I live alone in a neighborhood that has seen too much property crime that I have a little more paranoia than usual for me. I give it to them without comment because I’m afraid not to, so the end result for them is the same.

          • Understandable. I’m more paranoid about everything under the sun when I’m home alone.

    • Shanzgood

      My dad and his wife live on what’s locally called “Halloween Street” which is a 4-block area between 2 main arterials that gets blocked off because THOUSANDS of people come to trick-or-treat and see the elaborate yard displays and shows the residents put on. It’s WILD.

      My dad’s only rule about giving out candy is you GOTTA be wearing a costume. Doesn’t matter how old you are, you WILL get candy if you make the effort. Don’t just show up with a pillowcase, you will get jack.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Check the avatars … WT hath returned.

    • mancityRed6

      no, now. I’m at zero and I’m me.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      I guess it was maybe a Disqus hiccup. There is one that seems ambiguous.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I guess we’re not as good at dodging Vietnam Drafts like Donnie is. /s

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    Oh, Dok, you crusty old package o’ silliness! Or is it crusty old perfume o’ sweetness? Perhaps crusty old picnic o’ sammiches?

  • mancityRed6

    alright, I’m heading out, but if a post from me doesn’t have the word “testicles” in it, it’s not from me

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    who?

    Heh, working on stuff for work on a goddamn Sunday.

    Oh lord microsoft, can’t you make your flowchart and shapes tools a GAZILLION times easier to use?

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • JustDon’tSayPeter

      There was a time when Visio was a powerful, useful graphics tool. I even used it to map out circuit card designs. It was pretty useful.
      Then fukkin Microsoft bought ’em.

    • Serai 1

      France just passed a law making it illegal for employers to call, text, or expect a worker to do ANY work outside of their employment hours. Employees are to have a set schedule at their PLACE of employment, and anything else is their time which employers have no right to impinge on. THAT is a civilized country!

    • Rasilom

      They used to be easier. Then of course the entire office instalation used to fit on an 8 diskette set. But progress and new features and needing to have a reason to make you buy the new version each year, well shit just gets more fucked up over time. Enteopy I think they call it.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • redarmyzombie

      Okay, kid wins the Internet today…

      • H0mer0

        He’s adorbs!

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      I love him, he’s so sweet.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Well shucks, I’m not the first goofball to court controversy with an image.

    https://youtu.be/VQBzP4e2dqE

  • mancityRed6

    testicles, I am still at zero. maybe it will be different tomorrow

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      need moarerer tentsticles.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Check passing trucks…

    • JustDon’tSayPeter

      That’s just weird.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • IdiotsforPalin

      “I didn’t dodge the draft just so some son of a bitch could take a knee during the National Anthem.”
      Fuckface McClownstick!

  • eastcoastlib

    This is why we don’t allow comments.

    But if they were allowed, being called an idiot troll for being an idiot troll is just the way shit works on the internets. My guess is he’s angling for some of the sweet Peter Thiel cash. Unfortunately Thiel can’t see the injustices directed at WT because he has his head up Trump’s ass.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Your Sunday “Well, duh!” article …

    6 Of The World’s Most Influential Anti-Gay Activists That Turned Out To Be Gay

    It is no surprise that the United States is chock-full of anti-gay activists. From Republican politicians to certain religious personalities, many individuals have made it their sole goal in life to undo the progressive strides that we, as a society, have made towards equality.

    However, what is surprising is how many of these “anti-gay” activists turn out to be gay themselves. Here’s a list of some prominent anti-gay figures that ended up coming out, one way or another.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Randy Boehning”? Tell me that’s fake…. 🤦🏻

      I’m sure we’ll end up finding out about probably 95% of the GOP, Steve Harper and his resident scumbags in Canada (looking at you Jason Kenney), and the cons in Australia at some point too.

      What’s Rudy’s political stance on the matter of LGBT equality, I wonder?

      https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Guve7Y856kY/hqdefault.jpg

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        His stance is wide.

        • RocketManCaptainHowdy

          Needs help with his luggage.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Personally he’s pro. When he failed to get the family thrown out of Gracie Mansion and his wife succeeded in getting his mistress barred from the childrens’ residence, he moved in with a long-time gay couple he was opera-friends with.

        Professionally he’d let Mike Pence ride over those men with a combine harvester if he thought there was some minor personal advantage in it for him.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      OT – the Miss Gay America pageant that first one helped run? Randy, the awesome style consultant on Say Yes to the Dress won that, as Brandi Alexander. Which is totally irrelevant. It just makes me happy. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1f72d3bfe4bac825d8e25197534965abc18819310a4034e933ef2bf02479f2db.jpg

      • Dael

        oh, i’m gay then.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Congratulations, but I feel as if you must have suspected.

          • Dael

            :) well, i always left the door open for someone that pretty. I’m pretty easy that way.

  • anon_the_great

    Meth: Not Even Once

    • Master Contrail Program

      Mirth: Not Even Once Also, Too

  • Hither and Yawn

    I’m going to find the positive in that clown pic and point out that it’s not a collection of firearms behind him. It’s still disturbing, but not enough to make the neighbors worry about what may happen should he lose it.

    • Notreelyhelping

      No more balloon animals! That’ll fix ’em.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      True… based only on that photo, it seems like the worst he could do is make ducky noises at them.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    “Wonket? Isn’t that the site where all the clown dicks are? ”

    “No, they banned him.”

    • Master Contrail Program
      • Phried Ω

        That’s disturbing.

      • Finnibar87

        I’ll never understand why anyone ever thought clowns are something children would like.

        They are fucking TERRIFYING at any age.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          Ramen. One traumatized me as a child, they are sadists.

        • theCryptofishist

          I’m fumbling my way to a thought about their starting as sacred clowns, messing with consensual tribal reality, appropriate for all ages (or not?) and then when they get downgraded to entertainment no one remembers how scary they are so the kids get it anyway, but I haven’t rendered it into enough elegance to call it a hypothesis.

          • Invisible Bunyip

            If you go to a European circus, the clowns are very different. It’s a serious business over there, often taken up by senior performers who get too old for the more physically demanding activities. Perhaps it’s the multiple languages thing, but they’re closer to hilarious mime artists, communicating humour without words.

  • CripesAmighty

    Looks like Disqust ate everybody’s wit. Showing only 71 non-comments on this thread.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Hell, I only have 51.

      • CripesAmighty

        :/

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Ha! I have a bottomless well of wit.

  • catnmus

    He says he followed the rules, but don’t the rules include “commenting is not allowed”?

    • phoenix00

      He also forgot “nasty vile snark mob” and “dick jokes”.

      Sad.

  • Finnibar87

    We at MMfA know that troll all too well.

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      Does the real Wolf Tracker know about this article?

      • Shanzgood

        He’s been salivating for it all week.

      • Serai 1

        He showed up earlier with his usual PHEEEEEEEEEEEER MEEEE bullshit.

  • NotALiar

    Boring troll is boring. At least be funny.

  • Three Finger Salute

    OK, so weirdly, I just refreshed the comments, and the counter up top tells me there really aren’t any. Comments not found? Whodathunkit! We manifested it into reality!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/2f988a7d2c2aeae97e548dece07ce37c25dbe7cece5a31c1326f2f6959c5998b.png

    • Shanzgood

      My Wonkette home page shows 0 for everything.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Disqus is often weird but today it’s been downright bizarre.

    • shastakoala

      Today we are all first to comment.

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Or would be, if comments were allowed.

    • phoenix00

      Is this the day comments are officially finally assuredly not allowed?!

  • SDGeoff3

    We’re ready for him.

  • badtonto

    mmmmmm….clown dicks!

    • H0mer0

      Tonto! How COULD you?/sn

  • Juan de Fuca

    I have kept a record of the members involved in the stalking and harassment and their forum comments for legal proceedings.
    Those members (by Wonkette/Disqus profile) include but are not limited to:

    [usernames redacted — Dok]

    The one time that many of us could’ve gotten a mention in one of Dok’s posts and he redacted them.

    • Master Contrail Program

      I had to settle for being off-handedly mentioned as the goofball who posted clown dick #14.

      Oh well. I got plenty of teddy-grams from “poking the bear” nonetheless.

      • Rasilom

        That was you!! I am shocked! (well actually not really…)

    • SkinlessGenderlessMan

      Yeah – I want to know if I’ve been offensive enough to be noticed!

      • sgt. jmk of the résistance

        Exactly. It will haunt me now, in the deeps of the night, as I toss and turn on my fevered pillow… did I…did I make the cut?

        • H0mer0

          Tee hee–I almost read that as “did I make the cunt?”

    • TundraGrifter

      Does that mean this won’t go on our permanent record?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I don’t think I made the list, which surprised me, since I wasn’t especially polite.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Well, I think it’s safe to say you make everyone else’s list on here. So, there’s that. *Offers a slice of the cake we like*

        • Carpe Vagenda

          D’awwww. Sniff.

          As soon as the sun goes below the yardarm, Imma be maudlin about that :)

  • redarmyzombie

    Ah, so that’s how that shitshow started…

    …Wow, that’s fucking pathetic…

  • Juan de Fuca

    I read something earlier today about how in most cultures, including our own, taking a knee is regarded as one of the most respectful gestures one can do. Unless you’re a wingnut and then it’s a sign of not respecting authority.

    • Shanzgood

      Remember the video of the foul ball that hit a little kid at Yankee Stadium? The entire field of baseball players and coaches all stopped and kneeled.

      • Juan de Fuca

        Exactly. And sheesh, that was scary. I hope that little girl is okay.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      There was a whole Supreme Court case about how people get to not worship false idols if that’s how they see it.

    • Serai 1

      Thus my contention that if it had been my protest, I wouldn’t have done that. I’d have just turned my back and stayed that way until the anthem was over.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Real disrespect would have been dropping one’s drawers.

      • theCryptofishist

        Taking a shit on the field.

  • Dael

    wolf moron: called it. :)

  • puredog

    Yes, Disqus is seriously borked today. . .at least, on THIS post. (Hmmmmm.) What had shown at “66 New Comments” upon refreshment became 53 comments (total) and then 51 comments. Will check other posts if any and then go find something else to do.

    • theCryptofishist

      Disqus isn’t borked, you discovered time travel.

  • The Librarian

    I engaged “Blitzed Wolfer” (stealing that) at my own peril, but he never appropriated my avatar or name. I’d like to think it’s because what I said was brilliant and he couldn’t compete, but it’s probably because I’m an oldz and not cool enough.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Yeah, I just assumed my logic was unassailable.

    • JJ O’Shaughnessy

      You should have called yourself Conan the Librarian. Get more respect that way.

  • TundraGrifter

    When WT seriously claimed a professional bowler could predict the path of a Cat 5 hurricane based on its spin, I began to wonder.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      I blocked him when he said Hillary is playing the “sex card”.

      • Three Finger Salute
        • Raan

          Fun Fact: The Trump card is also known as the “Shitting Jester”.

        • Rasilom

          I thought we all agreed. No more pictures of dick clowns, or was that clown dicks I cant keep it straight. Anyway this pic covers both catagories!!!

      • TundraGrifter

        Are those the queens? I’m confused.

        • BJW

          Jokers.

      • TundraGrifter

        Who among us hasn’t?

        BTW – 10,000+ comments, 22,000+ upvotes. You were wrong.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    His/her real start was the night before, when the storm’s path changed and s/he spent three or four hours in the OT thread abreacting about weather forecasters who were off a week before the storm and anyone who defended them being responsible for anything that went wrong in Florida.

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      Some commenters were complaining about being stalked by him before that, I think.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        True, but I feel like the overnight thread was when s/he doubled down to taking on all comers like a macaque with a chapped ass and the runs.

    • Master Contrail Program

      WT: I have friends in Tampa! That gives me carte blanche to act like an ass.

      Me(Live From Tampa): No it doesn’t.

      WT: Why is everyone so mean to me? Don’t respond!

      *15 Minutes Later*

      WT: Why isn’t anyone responding to my brilliance?!?!?

      • TundraGrifter

        “I didn’t say I wanted to take you on vacation. I just said I wanted to Tampa with you.”

    • CO

      I was kind of bemused that the incel thing was the hill WT chose to die on.

      • Shanzgood

        Oh he started with calling me a racist when he initially showed up. And then finished on the incel article by trying to body shame me after I told him nobody gave a shit whether he thought certain people shouldn’t wear yoga pants.

        He doesn’t like wimminz much, I think.

        • CO

          I remember you saying that. It was shitty thing to say to you or any other person on here. It just felt it turned into literal spam on how incels aren’t real and are just a meme. Would be fitting if WT is an incel.

          • Shanzgood

            The funny thing is that at first he was a flat-out incel apologist. But after that went over like a fart in church, he started up with the IT’S JUST A JOKE, LIGHTEN UP BITCHEZ crap.

          • Dael

            guaranteed Incel.

        • puredog

          It’s even money at best whether he even knows any.

        • The Flaming Carrot

          That explains it. He thought I was a manz based on my avatar.

      • Dael

        me too. but maybe that tells who he (she? i doubt it) identifies with.

    • shivaskeeper

      For me it was correcting Panika about the TX Lege with a comment and multiple posts of the same link. FFS she makes a living covering the TX lege and some rando is going to correct her with a link that does not say what it claims it says.

      That was when I decided it was a troll and not here in good faith. Shortly after that I stopped being nice to it.

    • doktorzoom

      Oh yeah, that WAS weird.

  • Three Finger Salute
    • Dael

      she’s rented herself to a horrible guy for money – whatever you think of the morality of that given her situation and state of mind, you can’t ask her to be happy about it. this is a guy who effectively bought her out of a catalogue.

      • Shanzgood

        She’s a grownup.

        • Dael

          agreed. grown ups regularly make really bad decisions. he, on the other hand, is choosing to be who he is with both glee and purpose.

          • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

            tell me ’bout it

        • Serai 1

          Yep. She’s free to get a divorce any time. I’m sure there are thousands of lawyers who’d jump at the chance.

      • TundraGrifter

        I believe it was W. Somerset Maugham who wrote that the trouble with marrying for money is that most people don’t want to work that hard.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        She married a richer version of her father. Ask Julia Ioffe how much perspective Melania has about him being a pig.

        • Dael

          i know that story – saw it. honestly, it just makes me feel sorrier for her in many ways. also, it explains why she was so dead set against him running and so horrified by him wining. in her mind, she just needed to get through to the divorce without there being any attention. now the contractual fact of her sucking his dick once a quarter – because you know he’s drafted a contract and holds her to it – is publicly visible. he’s a douche and he’ll humiliate her, because he bought her and believes that contract law counts more than human morality.

          • puredog

            Donnie has a deep-seated belief in contract law? Coulda fooled me.

          • Dael

            No. He claims it it only as a base morality, to be abandoned when it clashes with his self-interest. actually, he has nothing in there when you get down to it. it’s a whistling, screaming abyss. market forces abound, and they’re horrible.

          • Bitter Scribe

            He has a deep-seated belief in the sanctity of everyone else’s obligations to him.

          • Dael

          • Serai 1

            However dumb she may be, I’m pretty sure she’s not stupid enough to have thought that her divorce could happen in any way except publicly. It’s not as if Twitler has ever been some quiet sensible-type rich guy nobody ever hears about. She knew he was an attention hog who did and still does anything to get the entire world talking about him. And if she didn’t, then I have no sympathy, because she’s fucking idiot who puts money and baubles ahead of her own dignity.

          • Dael

            agreed again. but i’ve been in positions, where if i could have rented my ass, i would’ve. hard to hate someone who did. YMMV, as it is entitled to.

            also, under normal circumstances her divorce is just another Trump divorce. she has the son, so she can claim against him and hold up a case. now, she’s the American First Lady. now it’s news everywhere.

            personally, i think the horror show for her is people like us openly aware of the kind of contract she signed – think about it from her perspective. she’s SURE that everyone who sees them sees what we see – a horrible, fat old rich man and the woman he bought from a modelling catalogue. in the alternative scenario, where he remains the buffoon from The Appentice, the news is only in People Magazine.

            anyway. i feel bad for her, because none of this nice. sympathy transcends choices.

          • Suttree

            Fuck that!. She owns that shit now! She gets no slack just because she married a horrible man for money and a green card.

          • Dael

            it’s not about slack. it’s just sympathy. people in shit situations regularly do shit things. as i’ve said elsewhere, she seems to have hoped that it flew under the radar until she could get out. hence her anger when he ran.

          • Claire

            Agreed. I’ve been in some pretty shit situations in my life, but I’ve never been in a place dark enough that marrying Donald fucking Trump looked like the best out of a set of options, and I’m not going to judge anyone in that situation.

        • The Flaming Carrot

          Oh, but Julia “provoked them.”

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I understand that was a popular eastern european opinion about the ovens.

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Those poor little ovens. I can’t say what the Slovenians thought. I can only say that the Slovakian clergy was complicit AF.

      • Serai 1

        Hey, SHE CHOSE him. He did not “order her from a catalog”. Her friends back home say she’s always been a gold-digger, and never wanted anything so much as a rich guy to pay all the bills and drape her with diamonds. He’s EXACTLY what she wanted. If she doesn’t like it anymore, she’s perfectly free to call up a lawyer.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          She also knew him for 6-7 years before they married. His nature was no surprise to her, although he’s probably (OK, definitely) gotten worse, physically and mentally.

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Sigh. That’s what I regrettably had to conclude about my mother-in-law and her RWNJ. The signs were always there, but her husband’s gotten more controlly and manbabyish since they married.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Yeah, but what about the boy? Abusive parents (usually fathers because of the power dynamic but not always) use the kids as pawns to keep the other partner stuck in the relationship all the time. I’m a product of that kind of relationship, so I definitely wouldn’t count out that there’s a sword of Damocles (which is how my father described it) hanging over her head, and his name is Barron Trump.

          If anything she’s probably hoping he chokes on a chicken bone — er, “ballot”.

          • Serai 1

            What about the boy? What, you think this is good for him? The best thing she could do for the kid is get a fucking divorce and get him away from that monster.

          • Notreelyhelping

            Ah. “Tommy” for the 21st Century.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            He is cold and hateful enough to not care about his child’s relationship with his mother. And then there’s the pre-nup. I hope she had enough smarts to hire a good lawyer for that.

        • Dael

          i’m sure she was planning to do that. she came from some fucked up place and did some fucked up stuff. however, she’s not the one planning to create a nuclear war in order to prove to his showbiz friends that he can still get hard. that’s her husband. the fuckwit. maybe spend less time in misdirected vitriol.

    • puredog

      “Imma gonna bite your nose, Hoser!”

      • Three Finger Salute

        “No one is safe from PM ‘Steal Yo Girl’!” -Twitter

        (Trump orders Roger Goodell to make every NFL player show their respect to America by tackling Trudeau)

        …and they take a knee.

    • kareemachan

      [gag]

    • phoenix00

      Man, Trump even fails at grabbing by the pussy.

  • DON’T POKE THE BEAR!

    Half Time!

    So how did that work for you Dok?

    Besides making a total ass of yourself by attacking people that were members online should do wonders for getting new members you also couldn’t point to a single reason for banning any of the people you think are in your article and no they are not all the same person.

    You also openly admitted you did troll that person with 3rd party comments and you did allow obscene material to be posted to the forum which you did not remove even after notified and then you go on to tell people that is legal and acceptable.

    Well, Anthony Weiner and Eric Bolling will sure by happy you just cleared them of their crimes.

    You also made it clear that fat shaming is acceptable as long as you make the immature excuse that the picture you used is really old and somehow noticing attractive people is sexual harassment.

    Anyone see the hypocrisy in those statements?

    So you got some upfists from the same few trolls you have been pandering to all this time and most intelligent people will read that and see that the asshole is you and you just made that very clear.

    Good job Dok!

    Don’t bother to respond because unlike the losers on here circle jerking for upfists I have better things to do than waste my Sunday on Wonkette and I have friends over to drink Mexican beer, and eat Italian pizza and watch American football while our players take a knee against Trump.

    Oh and how cool is it most of the players are taking the knee!

  • Three Finger Salute

    And we’re down to 49 non-comments.

    Maybe Duqseason is giving its own nod to Kaepernick?

  • Dael

    Hey Doc – the moron’s back. I gather you noticed.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Yeah. Apparently Melvin Q Incel is all about body positivity now.

      • Shanzgood

        Wait until he sees my ass in some yoga pants.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Eh. I been fat and old online since I was way less fat and old than I am now. It’s relaxing.

          • Bad Tom

            Also, too, somehow inevitable.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Oh, no, I own my fat, if not my tired.

        • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

          photos or…..🤣

          • Shanzgood

            Pft.

        • Suttree

          I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

        • Jon Sussex

          I hope this doesn’t mean we have to wear pants to post on this mommy blog.

          • The Flaming Carrot

            I’m wearing bike shorts. No pants. You’re the pants.

  • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

    i never thought that i would see the word ‘grody’ in print on the innerwebs

    • Serai 1

      Damn, that word takes me back to my teenage years.

      • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

        right?….way back

      • Morrigan in Oregon

        that takes me back to my *son’s* teenage years!

      • Suttree

        To the max!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Gag me with a spoon libelz!!!

    • RocketManCaptainHowdy

      fer sure

    • Werewolf

      Like, ohmiga-ad!

    • Three Finger Salute

      I thought Gawker was already dead.

      Also I haven’t seen you around these parts, new in town?

      • Of course Gawker’s dead, don’t you say rest in peace to something that’s already died (or am I just nuts)? And this guy reminds me of the classic tomato troll they had.

        And I dunno, I’ve been here on and off since the above death.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Oh, OK. I came here a few months ago during Comeygate and don’t know everyone from way back. I generally see the usual people, and the Wolf Wanker thing plus the commenting system acting up has just got me a little jittery, because of the inability to see stats when hovering over usernames. Welcome back then.

    • theCryptofishist

      That’s one of those plastic, irradiated tomatoes that wont rot, but tastes like mush, isn’t it?

      • It’s from veggietales, I think, so yes. Irradiated by jesus.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    I definitely need a break from news: I saw that this post was about clown dicks and immediately asked myself “what the fuck did Drumpf do now?”

  • Three Finger Salute

    Still at 49, btw. Mebbe there’s a non-commenting rapture that’s cleaning out the Interwebs one site at a time. At least some outlets (or outlets within outlets) are smart (and polite) enough to build a wall and make Google pay for it:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4d0b314593f6bca09573bb969fab11ccce22979ba2ceeb792d2145f1b9586849.png

    …while others let the swamp flow through, and don’t give a dam.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/260a185f56dc7d28a35586be01f9051c06d416cc6a5b33b0f78e7da53baa7da9.png

  • puredog

    When you first come to this post, it shows 1205 comments at present, then that changes to zero (all in the header), then when you come to the actual comments section, it’s 49 (now). Is Wool Cracker to blame?

  • Suttree

    Dammit! I didn’t even get an honorable mention for calling this fucker a troll on his first day here. :( I did like that Dok chastised him that day though.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Me, either. I think he told me to “have a nice day.”

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Likewise. I have a finely tuned nose for douchbaggery from years in customer service, but I did give the benefit of the doubt until he started threatening lawsuits. I can be in your clique nao?
      I brought beer….

      • Suttree

        You have always been in the clique. You just didn’t know it

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          All my clicks are belong to clique!

  • Serai 1

    You are aware there are minors on this website and it has no age restrictions.

    Nice of him to confirm my suspicions of his age.

    • Suttree

      15ish or so?

      • Serai 1

        Pfft. If he’s more than twelve, I’ll eat my hat.

        • Shanzgood

          But he’s been living off the grid for 15 years alone on a self-sustaining compound and is totally ready for the zombie apocalypse!

          • Left Coast Tom

            He’s living off the grid while drinking Mexican beer and watching the Green Bay Packers?

            It seems easier to go with the 12 year old thesis.

          • Serai 1

            Plus he’s a 17th degree Black Belt and can throw a morning star and battle ax simultaneously!

    • jesterpunk

      They are just working in the coal mine.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA3Royf9_zM

  • Robyn Ryan
  • redarmyzombie

    You know, I would just like to add that “poking the bear” sounds incredibly homoerotic to me. Or, like one of those furry sex things. Or both…

  • Wolf Tracker: My Redneck Lawyer hear bye issues a Sheesh and De Shits Order.

    Doug. Or whoever.
    https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ce/4a/bc/ce4abce0d32a33a26e5a6da5e317873f–restraining-order-funny-smiles.jpg

  • kareemachan

    This makes me more respectful than EVER of what you have to deal with on a daily basis. I be doin’ the once-a-month payment thing from now on.

    Hey, trollette, Wonkette’s getting more moneyz then EVER cuz of you!!!!!!

  • theCryptofishist

    Well, dok, you may be a monster, but you eschew canned clams, so you are not a MONSTER!!!!11

    • Carpe Vagenda

      The beleaguered husband’s favorite packed lunch is pasta salad with canned tuna and white beans (may also be canned on busy weeks) in dressing with canned anchovies. That makes me at least Grendel’s mom, I think.

      • Bad Tom

        So, beleaguered husband is adjacent to canned clams.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          In my pantry, damn straight.