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If we didn’t know better, we might just think the Trump administration was trying to hide the extent of Russian hacking in the 2016 election. Yesterday, the Department of Homeland Security told elections officials in 21 states that Russian hackers had attempted to breach their voting systems in the run up to the 2016 election. DHS waited an entire year after the attacks took place to tell the states, and they left it up to local officials to disclose whether and to what extent they’d been hacked. Yours is not to question the voting system! Just watch your Fox News, show up with your drivers license, and stand in that line come November. AND BE GRATEFUL THAT THEY LET YOU DO THAT!

We turn now to Chris Cillizza for trenchant commentary.

OR NOT.

Let’s just see if we have our timeline right. A little tick tock, as the kids might say.

  1. Summer 2016: Russian hackers stage waves of attacks on American voting systems, targeting a reported 39 states, according to Bloomberg.
  2. July 2016: Wikilieaks publishes stolen DNC emails. Julian Assange pinky swears he didn’t get them from Russians.
  3. Also July 2016: CIA gets involved at the highest levels.
  4. July 27, 2016: Donald Trump urges Russia to hack Hillary Clinton and determine if she’s hiding any emails. As one does.
  5. August 2016: Obama learns of “Vladi­mir Putin’s direct involvement in a cyber campaign to disrupt and discredit the U.S. presidential race” and receives first confirmation that hackers are trying to penetrate electoral systems across the country.
  6. August 15, 2016: DHS Secretary Jeh Johnson has conference call on Russian hacking, Republicans refuse to go along with enquiry. Mitch McConnell blocks disclosure or efforts to resist hacking, saying he doubts the underlying intelligence.
  7. Also August, 2016: CIA Director John Brennan calls Russian counterpart and tells him to stop trying to hack the American election.
  8. October 7, 2016: DNI James Clapper and DHS head Jeh Johnson announce conclusively that Russians are trying to hack American election. Americans are too busy with the Access Hollywood Pussygrabbing video release that day to notice. Thanks, Jor-El Obama!
  9. October and November 2016: Russians pay in rubles for Facebook ads microtargeting voters in swing states. Thanks, Judas Mark Zuckerberg!
  10. November 8, 2016: Donald Trump wins election. One small step for man, one great leap forward for the Doomsday Clock.

Don’t get us wrong, we’re glad that you guys at DHS finally got around to acknowledging what everyone knows. BUT WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG? Were you perhaps trying to prop up the ego of one demented old loon who is so sensitive about his illegitimate win that his first official act was to try to force the National Park Service to lie about the crowd size at his inauguration? And also? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER EIGHTEEN HACKED STATES?

The CIA, FBI, DNI and NSA all agree that Russians hacked our election. But Commander Twitter Fingers is still denying it.

So you’ll forgive our skepticism when states assure us that hackers were only successful in breaching Illinois’s system. Don’t you worry your pretty little head, they say, those pesky Russians were no match for our super-ironclad cyberwalls. As Reid Magney, a spokesman for the Wisconsin Elections Commission, told the Post,

What this boils down to is that someone tried the door knob and it was locked.

NO. JUST NO. We have absolutely no reason to trust DHS when they tell us that Russians tried to change the vote tallies, but they couldn’t get there.

In June, Samuel Liles, the Department of Homeland Security’s acting director of the Office of Intelligence and Analysis Cyber Division, testified that 21 states had been affected by the Russian hacking and said that vote-tallying machines were unaffected. He told the Senate Intelligence Committee that the hackers seemed to be looking for vulnerabilities, an exercise that he compared to walking down the street and looking at houses to see who might be inside.

Because the Russian government trying to destabilize America and manipulate our electoral process is exactly like some tweaker peeking in the window looking to grab a stereo he can pawn for cash! Every month we get another disclosure about the extent of Russian hacking, and the Administration is fucking around with Kris Kobach and his sham search for vote fraud.

Want to see how fast hackers can break into our voting machines? Here, have a video.


Meanwhile, Bob Kolasky, the acting undersecretary from DHS who got trotted out to reassure the public that everything is fine, told the Post that the agency thought real hard about it over the past year, and decided that they should probably tell the states that they’d been hacked.

We heard feedback from the secretaries of state that this was an important piece of information. […] We agreed that this information would help election officials make security decisions.

YA THINK?

Kolasky said that DHS will henceforth “have a bias to get information to [the states] as quickly as we can, and we are building protocols to notify them in a timely fashion.”

Gee, thanks, Bob! Just one quick question, though.

WHY THE HELL WOULD WE BELIEVE YOU THIS TIME? And General John Kelly, what was he doing with his time before leaving DHS to make the Oval Office Great Again? Don’t worry your pretty head about that! Grab a brewski and stay in your lane. There’s football on!

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  • Bozilingus

    OT but weren’t we supposed to get whacked by Niburu today? I have plans and need to know.

  • Belasaurius

    it’s time to return to paper ballots

  • Daniel

    “Super ironclad cyberwalls”- the Prince song about the previous article.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Dear States,

    Maybe you can just assume you are being hacked by the Russians, unless we tell you different, which we won’t, because you are.

    Your Friends,
    the DHS

  • Shibusa
    • Bobathonic

      He should have thousands of those stickers.

  • New Person

    Dok said:

    doktorzoom King Say What? • an hour ago

    Just for the sake of clarification, here’s who owns this website: Rebecca. She actually makes the rules. Funny thing!

    If you genuinely believe Wonkette is in violation of obscenity laws. please take your complaint to your local FBI office. In person. But you have to promise to post the video, OK?

    ….

    Those rules are posted where?

    Where is the age warning so parents know to keep kids off this website because you and Rebecca are allowing and encouraging people to post obscene materials?

    Federal law prohibits the possession with intent to sell or distribute obscenity, to send, ship, or receive obscenity, to import obscenity, and to transport obscenity across state boarders for purposes of distribution. … For example, it is illegal to sell and distribute obscene material on the Internet.

    • Moebym of the Returners

      To what?

      • Baconzgood

        It’s a derp clifhanger.

    • Belasaurius

      where did this nutter of a conversation come from?

      • jesterpunk

        Its our idiot troll who is mad no one likes them.

        • mary5920

          Is his name Legion?

          • therblig

            Lesion

    • jesterpunk

      Oh its you again. Dont you have something better to do? I hear they make sex bots now that you can buy that look kind of real, you might want to check that out.

    • Ricky Gay

      To? To eat your own feces?
      Then stop it, you new person you!

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      But they give it to us for free monies!

    • Belasaurius

      you caught my interest with obscene materials, can you please direct me to them?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Rugby thread

        • Old town Urbandale

          Thanks! I paid my monies this morning so I don’t want to miss my share of obscene material!

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Orly? Nekkid football boys is ‘obscene?’

          Our new guy needs to get clear on terms. Ya got ‘racy’ ya got ‘soft core’ ya got ‘hard core’ etc etc. I recommend using the internet to research all these categories and then come back when you know a little about what you’re talking.

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            Who are you calling “new guy”? I lived through the Layne years

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            And the obscene part was in our filthy minds. Nekkid men were just the primer

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Yeah me too. But I was referring to the New Person avatar at the top talking obliquely about obscenity. I thought you were saying that’s what he was talking about.

          • Dg Hacket

            Which category was the Brazilian fart porn?

    • Daniel

      What?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      “t is illegal to sell and distribute obscene material on the Internet.”

      Rebecca, don’t sell his user profile to the highest bidder. It’s illegal.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Wankel rotory engine.

      • Baconzgood

        Grunties.

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        Over a prolonged fart.

      • Dg Hacket

        Hee hee, you said wankel

        • Grumpy Twat

          But misspelled rotary. Outrageous!

    • TJ Barke

      Get a job.

    • Baconzgood

      I know. Baconz has been complaining for almost 8 years about these god-damn cunt faced son of a bitches with their cock sucking language, commenting like they are some sort of prick faggot in the fucking navy. What if my bastard kids turned on the computer or looked over my fucking shoulder while I was reading something these ass holes wrote? My that ex-bitch of a wife would get so mad her twat would explode. Then MY balls would get busted and I don’t need that shit. Jesus Christ! You people make me sick.

    • Baconzgood
    • Saxo the Grammarian

      You don’t see a link taking you to the rules? Keep looking! Also this:

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fe881d78c3c87f6956aead66070567be0e8e3ed061d7fa8a86ad348585c42d41.jpg

    • suziq

      If you did read the rules you would find out that comments are not allowed so these posts do not even exist.

      • Baconzgood

        I know I’m a bot.

    • amrak63

      Bugger off, troll.

      This website is protected by an attack Aki Minoriko.

      https://i.imgur.com/J64fmpg.png

      Extreme cuteness is only ONE of the weapons in her arsenal.

    • amrak63
    • Red Richmond
    • puredog

      I thought I already blocked this motherfucker? Must be yet ANOTHER new account. Fuck you, motherfucker. And — blocked.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Putin on the hacker blitz!

  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: one of my neighbors is an ASSHOLE

    so in Virginia we have state inspection on vehicles, basically just another tax. we own this Honda with a past due inspection sticker and we hadn’t got around to getting it inspected because fucking Honda have this bullshit part on the brake pedal ( a piece of goddamn plastic) that turns off the brake lights when the brake pedal is not pressed; when the piece of shit plastic breaks off, the brake lights are always on regardless if you press the brake pedal. we didn’t really want to pay a mechanic to fix that when we could do itself ourselves but we are also procrastinators and we have three other vehicles, so we thought we can wait.

    so i find this ticket on the Honda about inoperable vehicles. the county is real stern about it and all but what gets my gourd is that some fucker in my neighborhood fucking reported it. like seriously what kind of fucking asshole are you to do that? i would love to know so i could give them a good heaping of yelling at their lame assholery ass.i always assume my neighbors were assholes except for the ones i’m friendly with ( the ones across the street who i get their mail when they go out of town, or my neighbor right next to me but not the child molester one to the other side of us) now i know for sure..one of ’em is DEFINITELY an ASSHOLE.

    • mary5920

      I’d be happy that it’s the other person who is an azzhole and not you.
      Our neighbor with whom we share a driveway, is a hoarder who has vehicles parked all over his front and back areas, along with much junk. It’s in the country and he gets away with many offenses because it’s hard to enforce so many violators.
      That’s the reality so we’re mostly letting him live his life as he chooses, unless there is something that interferes with others such as neurotic dogs barking or burning garbage at night.

      • Blackest Noobs

        but that’s the thing…ive helped out others in my neighborhood, like a couple neighbors, their dogs always do their best steven mcqueen impersonation…( think Great Escape) and im more than happy to return their kids to them…even helped shovel the driveway of this elderly couple when it last snowed a bunch.. but it just pisses me off to no end that someone did this.

        the car isn’t inoperable, we’ve just been slacked-ass about getting it inspected (which is a fucking pointless thing, just a way for the state to get more money from us). we’ve been on the fence about keeping it but i might get another job that might mean an hour commute one way…and would rather wear out the Honda than my current ride ( though dunno if possible cuz Hondas seem to run forever)

        god i hate people.

        • therblig
        • mary5920

          Yes it’s eternally annoying to have a tattle tale neighbor like that but think of all the other neighbors that you like–just saying.
          Speaking of Honda – we have a ’91 Honda wagon that we’re trying to sell. It’s been a great car but was developing some major problems. Now though our mechanic has fixed them! and it’s not going to sell as a parts car anymore, yay.
          To replace it, we bought a 2005 Subaru legacy wagon, my first car that dates from this millennium as we had a nasty cold icy winter.

          • puredog

            You will love your Outback in the ice and snow, and rain also too. The Oregon state car.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Our house is classified as a detached condo, which is just a fancy way for the developer to get special deals he wouldn’t get if the houses were just classified as houses. When we bought ours, we learned that the former owner was a real pain in the house who watched the neighborhood like a hawk for violations of the condo agreement and turned them in, presumably to protect her own property values.

          Our neighbors were thrilled when we moved in and glad to be shed of her.

    • tomamitai

      That’s a fairly common practice in a lot of places, we got hit with it once too. They wanted us to buy a permit for $10 to keep a vehicle with an expired inspection sticker on our property.

      It may not have been a neighbor, by the way, lots of places have a compliance officer who drives around looking for stuff like that. I heard that if you put a tarp over the vehicle they’re not allowed to look under to check the sticker, but I can’t guarantee that that’s true.

      • Blackest Noobs

        certainly possible but more likely a neighbor reported it; there is even a hotline to call. my street is a small side street that get little to no traffic. like you wouldn’t know it was there even if it hit you in the head.

    • Baconzgood

      Sounds like one of you neighbors is in for a flaming bag of poo on their doorstep.

      • Blackest Noobs

        if only i knew who it was…IF ONLY.

        • Baconzgood

          I used to have a guy that parked in front of my house (city parking, no garages) and I put the flaming bag of poo on his porch. It didn’t accomplish a thing but it made me feel better. But what do you expect from a juvenile 35 year old father of 2?

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          Poo ’em all and let God sort it out! Or something.

          • H0mer0

            better than the original quote from which that derives. But I would add “and let Dog sort it out.”

          • Blackest Noobs

            well that’ s one method…if my life was a situational comedy, me and a neighbor would work out a ploy to figure out who it is and in sit-com fashion it would turn out being the neighbor working with me…ha ha

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      I had to replace that goddamned part on my Sportage last month. $3 part. I didn’t think I was capable of the contortions necessary to get to the fucking switch.

  • Baconzgood

    “Better late than never”

  • calliecallie

    Sometimes it seems there may be something to all this talk about bureaucratic inefficiency.

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      xD

  • TJ Barke

    I don’t know, Clitzilla… Why wouldn’t Trump want to investigate that? Could it be because he has something to hide, maybe?

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Well, I changed my voter registration (and name, yay!) here in Illinois, so I guess I’m safe until the next breach that the feds won’t protect us from.

    • tomamitai

      Let’s hope changing it didn’t flag your name so they make you jump through hoops on election day!

      • OutOfOrbit

        that is a certainty

        • GreenGoldSharpie

          Moooost likely.

          • OutOfOrbit

            and donut forget the kitchen sink when you go to vote, they will want all yuh got the dirty rotten fuckers

    • OutOfOrbit

      birth certificate gender match new registration?

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Not until after the new year.

        Rauner signed the bill that allows me to change my birth cert to female without surgery. So, doing it all at once.

        • OutOfOrbit

          WHOO HOO! i did not know that you go gurl!!! ( :

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Yeah, corporate Republicans suck, but I’ll take them over the religious nutters any day. :-)

        • redblack

          you couldn’t vote here in WA state.

          we have male-only voting.

          i’ll show myself out.

  • tomamitai

    I recently read an article (which I naturally forgot to bookmark and can’t find again; thanks, O’Bourbon!) suggesting that the intelligence community and Mueller aren’t just doing a criminal investigation, they’re running a counterintelligence operation, and that this might explain why things haven’t been announced or warnings haven’t been given on what we, who don’t know about these spy type things, would consider a timely basis. If so, I hope they know what the heck they’re doing, and both parties can get back to being loyal opponents who yell at each other and accuse each other of being idiots and traitors, instead of one side maybe actually being fucking traitors for real.

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      I saw that, it might have been on Crooks and Liars but I’m not sure.

  • Poly_Ester

    Maybe Assange isn’t lying, perhaps he got the DNC emails from Roger Stone, who got them from the Russians?

  • clairence

    I’m a little confused, probably because I’m only reading blogs instead of the actual reporting.
    A year ago, the government TOLD the states they were being or had been hacked. They chuckled, patted the feds on the head and told them they’d turn on the night light.
    So now they’re telling states AGAIN and it’s news why? Serious question.

    • jesterpunk

      Because it’s not Bamz telling the states?

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    DHS be like this, amirite?

    https://youtu.be/xqQ6Z-HmAqY

    • Blackest Noobs

      We love the Moss.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I vote absentee. I have not seen anything stating that I can be absolutely 100% guaranteed that my absentee ballot was counted. In fact, I worked at the local County Clerk’s office 40 years ago during the Reagan election (bummer), and there was a big fuss the next day because the Clerk’s staff found a box of 200 absentee ballots stuck in a closet that had been misplaced and not counted. Fortunately, when those ballots were tallied, they did not change the results of any ballot issues or elections. But it has made me wonder for 40 years how often this happens. It would also be easy to “misplace” absentee ballots for 2 elections in a row, and then automatically remove those people from the election rolls because they haven’t voted. Am I being paranoid?

    • OutOfOrbit

      you/we have every right (and a dooty) to be paranoid about this

    • Blackest Noobs

      a lil bit…on the paranoid part.

    • tomamitai

      Given how many republicants and libertardians we’ve had complaining about how there’s “too much democracy” in America, you’d have to be an idiot not to be concerned.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    OT: Kap’s mom is “woke” (did I use that right?).

    https://twitter.com/robinthede/status/911575123127422976

    • armed_bears

      Way to go, Mom!

  • cheetojeebus

    I’m sure they’ll have that bloodhound Ken Blackwell on the case pronto!

  • msanthropesmr

    Fuck Chris Cilliza. That’s is all.

  • btwbfdimho

    OT but stuff happens: Adam & Eve facing deportation, by Masaccio.
    The only difference now: there are no angels.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/73c4ac4aa90bd898ff8da38e381c590e1049f2db1d27a8c4e08cf42a19ebe02b.png

  • Me not sure

    The thing I don’t get is how Chris Cilliza has managed to function so long with a crayon in his brain? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9ef2526ad946775d069b2edc11f29f06daf94858beee6a9af236baa442a82fb7.png

  • Scooby

    I heard Putin is endorsing Roy Moore.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      With votes.

  • capnkrunch

    A brief(ish) recap of what I say every time this topic comes up:

    1. You cannot, cannot do electronic voting in an acceptably secure manner. It’s not a matter of needing better technology to solve the problem. The problem is unsolvable.

    2. Beyond this, our system is infinitely worse. Our machines are proprietary hardware running proprietary software, sold by for-profit companies. They are not independently audited and reverse engineering them potentially violates the DMCA.

    3. Security experts have understood this and warned about it since literally the beginning of electronic voting. Russian hacking may seem to have come out of nowhere but the only surprise for people who understand these things is that it took this long.

    In conclusion, we need to stop trying to fix a fundamentally unfixable system and use paper ballots for all major elections. Try to find an expert who disagrees.

    • shivaskeeper

      An addition to your second point. The proprietary hardware and software is produced by companies who are huge GOP donors.

      In fact Kobach and Pence’s bullshit voting commission was stuffed with CEO’s and senior staff from those companies.

      • TJ Barke

        NO CONFLICT OF INTEREST THERE, NO SIR.

        • shivaskeeper

          Not at all. If I was a paranoid person, seeing as how that commission still has no funds to do any of the things it’s supposed to do, I might think all the data they want to collect, collate, sift through, and store were going to go on some private voting machine manufacturer’s servers with their people going through it with no oversight at all. But I’m not paranoid.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            The vote is coming from inside the house!

          • shivaskeeper

            Not paranoid. Not paranoid. You’re the paranoid.

      • capnkrunch

        Yup. And it’s their lobbying that has been fucking us for years.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      eh, but couldn’t one alter that too?

      • capnkrunch

        Yes, paper ballots are not perfectly secure. They can be altered, lost, miscounted, etc. But…none of that can be done remotely. The system is more securable because there are less moving parts. Complexity is the enemy of security as they say.

        To compromise paper ballots you need physical access to the ballots or the ability to compromise someone transporting or counting them. There are just so many more points at which electronic machines can be compromised.

        ETA: clicked too fast
        For example, any single electronic component could be compromised. There’s been some very crazy research on basically undetectable physical backdoors that can be placed on chips during manufacturing. The software could be compromised through exploits in the code, compromising a developer, a hacked compiler, etc. The database storing the votes can be compromised. Etc, etc.

    • proudgrampa

      In conclusion, democracy is screwed.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Here in Connecticut, we use the scanners to count the ballots, but we keep the paper ballots. So, without a challenge, the machine count stands. However, we do have the paper to back it up.

      As a poll moderator, I have to go through extraordinary procedures to ensure the machines have not been tampered with after testing and validation. The hack would have to occur between the time the polls close and I take the machine’s tally. A bit difficult, but not impossible. And they’d have to get to the memory card … very hard, given I have to unlock it.

      That’s as good as electronic voting should get. Those touch screen things? Garbage … close the curtain, hack the machine.

      • capnkrunch

        I totally agree. Counting the ballots electronically and keeping the paper as a back up/record is exactly how it should be done.

  • bookish

    https://www.justsecurity.org/45255/fisa-warrants-paul-manafort-muellers-investigation/

    The Trump-Russia saga has more characters than War and Peace and plot twists harder to follow than Game of Thrones. So making sense of the latest news – that the FBI had taken out not one, but two surveillance orders under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) on former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort – can be difficult to put into context. But in fact, this new piece of information actually can help connect the counterintelligence and criminal investigations that Special Counsel Robert Mueller is overseeing, and show how a FISA warrant may have played a role in each.

    https://www.justsecurity.org/38422/aint-easy-fisa-warrant-fbi-agent/

  • weejee

    tRump is in the process of migrating the entire Feral Gooberment to Kaspersky Lab security software.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      SMRT!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      didn’t they JUST dump kaspersky stuff?

      • weejee

        DoD. But Rex’s State Department?

        • Bobathonic

          DHS ordered it off all agencies’ systems.

          • puredog

            Kewl. They going to McAfee now? Or maybe Norton? SMH.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        My official start date is just in 10/2, meaning that I have one full week to enjoy without the stress of job applications and later studying for the new job.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    finally home with not much to do till Tuesday!

    (yaaaayyyyy!)

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      Yay!

    • jesterpunk

      How did the test go?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        crushed it!

        They apparently go out of their way to pass people, cause comm college – but some of these questions were dumb – actually the answers in the multiple choice were dumb and obvious. You could have process of elimination’d your way through those questions.

        A few were tricky if you hadn’t been paying attention or studying.

        • jesterpunk

          Congratulations, thats how most multiple guess tests are. If you pay attention there are maybe 2 answers that kind of make sense with 1 being the best answer. And all or none of the above is generally the right answer. But the important thing is understanding the material not just remembering it for the test.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            thanks, and aye indeed.

            Like, for 99.9% of those, I knew the answer before even looking at the choices.

        • redblack

          “if you have one bucket that holds 1 gallon, and another bucket that holds 2 gallons, how many buckets do you have?”

          careful! you might become president Not Sure.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Just wait til you take the bar exam. You can pretty easily narrow every multiple choice down to two, and then have to pick which fairly plausible answer is correct. Sneaky fuckers.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            that sounds like the LSAT. Two VERY close answers.

            (But i doubt I’m going to law school).

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Well, all I can say is personally law school is my biggest regret in life, so I think *not* going is wise. But you’ve got a knack and a passion for it, so never say never.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            why would you say it’s a regret? You got big loans? You obvs got the passion.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Oh god, the loans will never be paid off…
            But yeah, I went because I wanted to help people but all I’m doing is civil corporate doc review and I’m always broke. I’m pretty sure the narcissistic cunt who was supposed to be my mentor in the immigration and asylum clinic blacklisted me in Chicago.
            In my case, it was a complete waste of time and money.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            gah, that’s awful. I’m sorry. (And I’ve heard the stories about doc review). How long you been out?

            The loans thing is why I didn’t even apply with my 160 LSAT score. 80th percentile is decent, but I didn’t think I’d get a full ride to a decent school. And that would likely only cover my new costs.

            My debts are atrocious (which may never be paid off and also maybe a C&F issue for either admission to law school or the bar) and so I figured the best course of action was try this paralegal program and see if 1) i liked it and 2) I had the ability to do it.

            Plus, I got my momma here in town, can’t leave her behind.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I actually did have to go to an extra c&f interview because of my debts. Boy was that fun!
            I like to think I represented myself well, but it’s entirely possible I’m only a lawyer because of Irish stepdancing. No really! The guy was looking through my file, which included my time in Ireland for grad school. He started asking me about that, and then turned around a picture on his desk to reveal a photograph of his two daughters dressed in their competitive Irish stepdancing costumes.
            Anyway, I’m only 40. I’ll figure it out.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            nice!
            And I home you do. It’s funny how all that works. When I was a journo thinking about law, there was a journo who had been in school to become a lawyer.

          • puredog

            You’re talking about the Multistate. Yeah, it’s a mind fuck. My goal was to have the lowest possible passing score, anything above that would be gravy. I came out not knowing if I had (out of 299) 50 right or 150 right. It was all copacetic, though.
            I did have to dodge a triceratops on my way home, though.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Yep! I don’t if every state does it in the same order as Illinois, but the first day is the essay portion which, no sweat. We’re all law grads, we can bring the bullshit. So you’re like “ok, this is intense, but it’s not THAT bad”.
            Then blammo, they hit you the next day with the sadistic multistate. Total mindfuck!

    • BadKitty904

      Except play with Babbycat!

  • msanthropesmr

    Sign in stranger.

    • therblig

      have you a dark spot on your past?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
    • Augustus

      no, fuck you

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I thought the word he was looking for after the first tweet was “me”. Awesome to see people like Lebron James and Kobe Bryant are not having any of his shit too.

    • jesterpunk

      Can we “You’re Fired” the asshole who disrespects the national anthem in the White House also too?

      https://media.giphy.com/media/aryVMP3dnkDF6/giphy.gif

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        She could give two shits if he puts his hand over his heart, she just saw an opportunity to hit him

      • GoutMachine

        Huh. An immigrant with more respect for America than the president.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Hey, fuckstick, Puerto Rico still doesn’t have power.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        or, ya know, buildings.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Day whateverthefuckitis and this asshole still has not gotten to the First Amendment in his ‘let’s learn the Constitution’ lessons.

    • BadKitty904

      “You shouldn’t betray our Great Nation to its enemy. If you do, YOU’RE FIRED. Find something else to do!”

    • Blackest Noobs

      catering only to your base WILL BE YOUR UNDOING.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Some of us with more than two brain cells to rub together might think it’s more disrespectful of our country and our national ideals that police seem to think it’s open season on black and brown people. And that someone as devoid of morals, intelligence, empathy, or any motivation other than his disgusting id is currently living in the White House.

    • Daniel

      From the man who claimed to have made billions who has said for decades that the US is a shithole and ran for election on the premise that he needed to restore its long absent greatness.

  • Baconzgood

    This is those Ed MacMann letters you get that say “you may already be a winner” but it involves our elections being usurped.

  • BadKitty904

    So, the election results are invalid and we get a do-over, right? RIGHT?1?1?

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    i really wonder if, now that the gubbiment has told the states there were hacks, donnie will finally concede this part of the Russian intereference “hoax.”

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      He might concede the Russian involvement when he’s doing the perp walk.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Well and while we are helping St Maarten we might as well help some other Islands in the meantime. :) Go navy!

    https://twitter.com/kon_marine/status/911662897633296389
    https://twitter.com/dirkjanjanssen/status/911649493279543296

  • Fartknocker

    The Dotus’s next propaganda stop is to Louie Gohmert’s district so he can inspire 8,000 of his loyal fans to purchase MAGA hats while Dampnut bitches that rodeo bull riders should only wear cowboy hats and no chest protection while on the back of a 1 ton animal because they are pussies.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    I feel like such a dotard.
    — Wisconsin voting machine

  • BadKitty904

    “But Commander Twitter Fingers and the GOP Congress is still denying it. And have still done nothing whatsoever about this Russian attack on the United States.”

    • Baconzgood

      Comander and Cheeze-it Face and the GOP have a strategy for not needing to investigate this.

      Humor me because this is going to be a lengthy post. But please read it all and contemplate it. It all started with a little know, and obscurely published, Dutch political theorist from the 1700s. An intern in the Nixon administration who stumbled upon one of his treaties, while in a library in Antwerp, that now accounts for the philosophy of everything from GOP “town halls” to Fox News.

      You see this man theorized that if you had an idea, true or not, and could instantly communicate that idea to every one you wanted to in a single moment then you could….SQUIRREL! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bf46e4cb7e7cb12f48bdc03ff5a0d71f0ee6dd331edca48867e3ed0fe9d7f405.jpg

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Chris Cilizza is either not very bright or just dumb.

    • proudgrampa

      Yes.

      • BadKitty904

        Ha!

    • BadKitty904

      Yes.

    • TJ Barke

      6 of one…

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Or willfully ignorant.

    • BeachBum

      Cilizza should run his thoughts past people that deal with lies, cover ups, and false accusations every day before posting them publically. Ya know, 6 th graders.

  • Jgb979

    Give it another year or two and even Cilliza will get this was planned from the beginning.

    There were people SCREAMING about the Diebold systems in 2004, when it was clear then how insecure they were and how impossible it would be to make backups. Even this year it was “unserious” to suggest Trump’s win might not be legitimate

  • proudgrampa

    Duh.

  • BadKitty904
  • Blackest Noobs

    O/T: part-time jobs

    just wondering if any of you all were super slack with a part time job? i ask because we have this part-timer who is ALWAYS late coming in, ALWAYS asking for time off or to leave early. like in pretty much every part time job i ever worked, i never asked for time off cuz duh it’s a part time job…you have no rights ( you barely do when you’re full time and fully invested (i.e. you got benefits)) pretty much.

    we have such a person who is constantly late, constantly asking for time off. sure she works when she is here but we need her when she works her saturdays…not for her to constantly ask for time off. i asked her once since you now have a full time position elsewhere, would you leave us…she said no because, get this, she needs the money. Sorry honey if that was true, you would be working your fucking ass off. when i lived in NY i had one full time job and two part-time job and i wasn’t slack about it either. if you need the fucking money, you fucking work, you don’t constantly ask to have time off.

    my boss sucks because i will bring it up but she does nothing about it, acts like she can’t do anything…but she can…she can fire her because she cannot work the hours we need. there would be less dysfunction in my workplace if my bosses actually had a fucking back-bone.

    • Blackest Noobs

      and there’s plenty of people out there that would gladly work the hours and not fucking ask off every goddamn day.

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      Negative. I busted my ass on every job when I was working, or I quit if I was unhappy with work conditions.

      • Jack Had A Permit

        Eye-firmative, girl!

    • Baconzgood

      I don’t remember. Every part time job I had I was piss drunk at.

      • Jack Had A Permit

        Sometimes, working under the influence is the best work ethic. I was never sober when I worked as a projectionist at a chain theater. God known, I had to be stoned to sit through The Lion King one more time.

        • Blackest Noobs

          my first library job was at a university working in the periodicals department ( most of my time was filing away microfilm) but i was ALWAYS stoned…though like some people are high-functioning alcoholics i was and am a high-functioning stoner.

          my boss then also praised me on shelving those microfilms, and not just shelving them but doing it correctly and in the correct order.

          though that might be due to my OCD….weed just hyper-focused that by a 1000.

        • Baconzgood

          I worked on a professional dark room for a couple years (highly skilled labor). Once my boss, two other coworkers, and I were smoking cigarettes in the basement. My boss looked on the floor and said “IS THAT A ROACH?”

          Arron, Bob (my boss), Drew and I all bent down to look at it. It looked like a roach and for 30 seconds none of us wanted to pick it up (because that would be an admission of owner ship of said 1/5 of a joint). I finally reached down figuring since it was my work station it could have been mine. And if it was one of theirs well…it’s mine now, because I claimed ownership of it picking it up first.

          I bent down, reached for it and picked it up…

          “It’s just a dust bunny” I said to all of our collective sighs. Then after work we all tried each other’s dope to see who’s was the best. (SPOILER ALERT: They were all the same because Bruce, another coworker sold us all dope)

          God I miss working in photolabs.

    • TJ Barke

      “it’s a part time job…you have no rights”
      Are you sure you’re not a republican?

      • Blackest Noobs

        you don’t really have rights as an hourly part-time worker…say it Republicans all you like…doesn’t change that fact.

        what im saying is you don’t have leg to stand on if you’re ass is slack in part time job…that’s why employers love hiring only part time workers, don’t gotta give em benefits and can easily fire them.

        • TJ Barke

          Okay, Republicanest Noobs.

          • Bobathonic

            I don’t think BN’s endorsing it, just saying that is how the system really is.

          • TJ Barke

            And embracing a defeatist acceptance…

          • Bobathonic

            Signs point to yes

          • Blackest Noobs

            again…it’s not a republican thing, it’s a work thing.

            part time worker have no rights.

            you don’t like it, you come and rally folks and get senators and representatives to change it.
            tough luck doing so.

          • Grumpy Twat

            Although I am in the UK, where we have “the most flexible workforce in Europe”, ie: less fucking rights than everyone else, we do still have some.
            And although I work part-time I work hard for my money. In return for carrying out my responsibilities I expect my employer to observe my rights and if they don’t I have no hesitation in giving them the full benefit of my opinion.

    • BeachBum

      Call me crazy, but maybe the “backbone” is not the body part involved for her continued employment. Oh, and tell her I said to fire her.

      • TJ Barke

        Goddamn, look at all this republicanism…

    • DrBigHead

      Worked several part-time jobs while in high school and college. Everything from a sod farm to a store clerk to a small steel foundry. Through my entire undergraduate years I worked for a company that stamped and formed metal parts (If any of you still have cassette tapes made by 3M, we fabricated the small piece of copper and felt that held the tape to the head of the player). Did everything there from janitorial work to driving a forklift to cleaning and painting machinery. My approach was to do as good a job as I could for ME, not for the employer. Paid off with a very flexible schedule where I could take time off as needed for tests and papers, etc. and still have a job when I came back. I have had discussions with people of a more Marxist bent that my labor was being unfairly exploited. My counter argument was always that I was fully aware of the deal I was making and was always free to leave.

      A long-winded way of saying that no, I never treated a part-time job any different than any other job I have ever held.

      • Darlene Underdahl

        If you take the money you should do the work, providing it’s sort of in the job description. That doesn’t include the boss taking you to a motel at lunchtime. Yes, there are bosses like that.

        • DrBigHead

          I was lucky that, for the most part, I had honest and principled bosses who felt that if they treated their employees in a fair manner, they would get a fair return. Of course, not all of my co-workers were honest and principled in return.

          • Darlene Underdahl

            Since I have some loner instincts, and do my best work solo, I’ve been surprised at how quickly complete strangers form a kind of society in the workplace. Pleasing each other becomes more important than the job. And the company fails.

          • DrBigHead

            There has to be a balance, though. My profession requires people to occasionally live away from home in difficult conditions for weeks at a time. Collegiality in these cases is of utmost importance.

    • Jack Had A Permit

      In answer to your question, I have never been ‘slack’ about any job I’ve ever worked. I have been unable to work for twenty years now, but I volunteer. I take that more seriously than I did any paying job.

      It boils down to ethics, I think. Forget anything else, if this employee doesn’t care enough about other people to show up on time and do her job, then she has no business being there. It demonstrates a clear lack f concern for anyone, save herself. It’s that kind of “me first’-ism that’s poisoning the business sector in this country.

      That was a hell of a soapbox I just jumped on. Sorry for the fire and brimstone sermonizing. TL;DR, I agree with you, as I do with most things you write.

      • Blackest Noobs

        i don’t like being a “hard-case” about this stuff, but if you’re slack about the small stuff then you’re likely to be an ASS about the big stuff.

        i know i whine A LOT about my job and it might seem i have the personality of a Trump when it comes to customer service ( which is quite the opposite, like never told a patron to fuck off even though they deserved it, or mouthed off to bosses or fellow staff even though they deserved it) because i have one constant…be the professional in every situation.

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          You gotta vent with friends sometimes to stay in Game Face on-the-job.

        • Jack Had A Permit

          I don’t think you whine that much about your job. We are what we do, afyer all. It’s a big part of your life and it’s healthy to vent about that.

          There’s nothing wrong with expecting anyone to do the job they’re getting paid for. Professionalism is a virtue, after all, and wouldn’t the world be a better place if there was more of it?

          • Blackest Noobs

            Lord YES…..like million times…..there really ought to be a movement for professionalism…THERE REALLY SHOULD BE!!!!

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’d give anything to have a job at all.

  • Baconzgood

    There is only one the solution that the GOP can think of to fix this hacking problem. Cut Medicare and use the savings to subsidize off shore drilling in national parks.

    • BadKitty904

      And tax repeal.

      • armed_bears

        Delivered by drones.

  • Fartknocker
    • Parakeetist

      Rest in peace.

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      :( RIP

  • BadKitty904
  • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

    OT – It’s a reproduction, but I’d love to own one: http://www.militaryheritage.com/musket6.htm

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fe24138c6377bbe8036f269091556ba124ad71eebbb27037d0a202030f2afc66.jpg

    The First Model Long Land Pattern Musket 1742, or “Brown Bess”. These were carried by the British Army during the Seven Years War and French & Indian War. I can’t spend rent money on object d’arte, but they are pretty.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Baker rifle or go home!
      I’m not even uan expert. I just read/watched all the Sharpe’s books/series…

  • C4TWOMAN

    *lost for words*
    Can we get NATO to step in and over see new open elections?

  • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

    Is it just me, or would Mark Cuban be hot if he had lips?

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      Horses for courses. It would depend for me on his personality.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        He seems nice. Actually nice, not like we use it around here.

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          That works. :) He can take me out for drinks then.

    • jesterpunk

      You are watching the global citizens festival?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Yup. Waiting for Chris Hayes to drop Ecstasy and get naked

        • jesterpunk

          That will be later in the show after the sun goes down. Its part of global citizen after dark.

    • wait! what?
      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        A perfect example of like liking like.

  • memzilla Ω
  • You can’t tell what Tangerine ISIS is thinking about doing without a BINGO Mood card…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0553d1464212b9696d3b32ca294d42879a16a1d62205f798dc3a219307709640.png

  • Panika MCD

    OT : here’s the hour of the concert they broadcast last night.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgYGCrHVWYc&feature=youtu.be

    • Panika MCD

      don’t worry about donating. just enjoy yourself.

  • Bill D. Burger

    How quintessentially Republican and MurriKKKan’! Trump is anti the First Amendment and pro brain damage for children. He wants to silence all protest and stop coddling our youth by trying to protect them from head trauma. Both obviously work in favor of the Republicans.
    And he’s doubling down on both today.

    [Brennan: Donald Trump missed the memo: Don’t pick on football players
    Christine Brennan, USA TODAY Sports Published 1:32 p.m. ET Sept. 23, 2017 |

    Let it be noted that Trump mustered more anger Friday over Kaepernick’s personal decision to not stand for the anthem than he did for the neo-Nazis and white Supremacists who marched in Charlottesville’s deadly protest last month.
    And this is as good a time as any to mention that Kaepernick is reported to be very close to completing his goal of donating $1 million to charity. (Trump has not sent a dime of the $1 million he offered to the victims of Harvey.)
    Trump’s other rant — against the NFL’s attempts to make football safer — could not have been more ill-timed.
    “They’re ruining the game, right? They’re ruining the game,” Trump bellowed just a day after it was announced that Aaron Hernandez, the former New England tight end who hanged himself in his jail cell after being convicted of murder, had a severe form of CTE, the debilitating brain disease, at the very young age of 27.
    One wonders how such comments play in living rooms across the nation, where parents continue to grapple with their son’s (and the occasional daughter’s) interest in playing such a popular and violent game that both delights and scares the masses.
    This isn’t just an issue about calling penalties in the NFL. It’s about the safety and long-term well-being of millions of young American athletes.
    The President of the United States couldn’t have cared less about that Friday night.

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/columnist/brennan/2017/09/23/donald-trump-missed-memo-dont-pick-football-players/696420001/

    So much winning!

    • TJ Barke

      Holy shit, Hernandez was the same age I am…

    • wait! what?

      The take away is that nazis aren’t ruining Donald s “game.”

  • Duke

    With an uptick in his popularity, Trump is back to being a stupid ass.

    America! Fuck yeah!

    • SnarkON

      Meh, don’t worry about it. He’ll do yet another heinous thing that lowers his popularity soon enough.

      • TJ Barke

        Like shit on the NFL and the players expressing free speech?

        • FukuiSanYesOta

          Yeah, probably somethin like that

        • SnarkON

          Naw, that’s about black people.

        • Jack Had A Permit

          Like prove, once again, he’s a racist piece of shit? Nah! Never happen!

        • MasRioBravoHombre

          Shitting on Kap is one thing…taking on Steph Curry, who I fucking DESPISE, is fully another.

          • FukuiSanYesOta

            Cavs fan, eh?

          • MasRioBravoHombre

            GO, SPURS, GO!!!!!!!

          • MasRioBravoHombre

            The LeBrons are a joke. Come play in the west, King James…Kawhi wants to laugh harder.

    • Jack Had A Permit

      The uptick only happened because he didn’t throw his own feces during the hurricanes. His non-response to Puerto Rico, his attacks on professional athletes of all things, his insane stump speech in Huntsville, even more drip-dripping from the Russian probe, his return to Twitter and the hopeful demise of the evil repeal bill will drop his numbers again. “Believe me”.

    • Blackest Noobs

      that’s only because he had double duties of hurricanes. it’s bound to go back down when the focus is back on russia.

      • Jack Had A Permit

        Exactly! Once focus is shifted from natural disasters to the strictly man-made variety, he’ll tank again.

    • shivaskeeper

      It will never drop below 25-30% for long. That is roughly the number of die hard GOPers who will approve of anything anyone with an (R) after their name does.

  • TJ Barke

    Is it just me or does Bill Cassidy look like a complete fucking moron?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/92bd7e789ba4f8770692512800a92c7643d4a25b0233d1f73aa6060ddf86aefe.jpg

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      It’s not you

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      Imagine this twatwaffle as your DOCTOR.

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        “What are you doing, doc?”

        “Palpating mah prostate! Yah!”

        “I don’t think that’s how this works”

        “I’M THE DOCTOR! UNNNGHHH”

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          This made me giggle.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Looks like a doctor who would prescribe opioids over the internet.

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      “Yeah, my whole hand! Right up my peehole. It was quite a sensation, Yessiree,”

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        Strangely arousing or not? Schrödinger decides!

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          xD

        • Shanzgood

          Because you have to try it to see if it feels good…or not?

          • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

            I sometimes snarkily call things strangely arousing, or not strangely arousing. I think this one has a quantum indeterminate state.

          • Shanzgood

            That’s ok! I was just trying to figure out how the Shrodingrer reference fit.

            *runs away*

          • commatoes

            Having once been a teenage boy, in varying states of hormonal disarray, I can attest that anything can be strangely arousing. Por ejemplo, trying not to think about Winona Ryder while in church.

        • Daniel

          Schrödinger’s catheter?

    • wait! what?
      • Three Finger Salute

        James Woods is a creep. Perfect casting on Disney’s part.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Sometimes looks are deceiving. Then there’s this asshole.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg
      • TJ Barke

        You ain’t kidding…

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Nope. Had a crush on Jessica Rabbit too.

          • Shanzgood

            Who didn’t?

          • commatoes

            Kathleen Turner…. yum. And her voice too.

    • Marion in Savannah

      It ain’t just you.

    • Major_Major_Major

      He reminds me of Roscoe P. Coltrane.

    • proudgrampa

      No. It’s not just you.

      In every picture of him I’ve seen, he looks totally deranged.

    • Worst. Dumb. And. Dumber. Reboot. Ever.

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      He looks like one of those caricatures where they just take a picture of someone and add a derforming filter.

      • Itakecofefewithwackelpudding

        Deworming philter.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, he’s a Republican, so obviously he looks like a moran because he is.

    • commatoes

      We hold these truths to be self evident…

  • Moebym of the Returners
  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

    https://twitter.com/rudepundit/status/911640313571266560 “For those of you who are about to incur debilitating brain damage, we salute you.” https://twitter.com/rudepundit/status/911640313571266560

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • TJ Barke

      Alabama probably does derserve Moore…

      • amrak63

        Alabama probably derpserves Moore.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Thank you for choosing the U.S. Senate. My name is Roy, and I’ll be your derpserver today.

      • commatoes

        Supposably.

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      Am I an idiot? I don’t see the error.

      • jesterpunk

        The website name.

        • MasRioBravoHombre

          I’m slow, pre-pot.

          • jesterpunk

            Alabama Derserves Moore.

            Should be

            Alabama Deserves Moore

          • wait! what?

            That state needs an enema.

          • puredog

            Or perhaps an enema wrapped in a riddle.

          • wait! what?

            …only solvable on the bidet of mystery.

          • Blackest Noobs

            ha ha but this is expected, not your pre-pot status, but the same guy who quoted a racist Bible song as scripture from that there fella Jesus couldn’t be bothered to spell check before sending to the printer to make the thingy for side of bus.

          • Blackest Noobs

            also how in the fuck did he get to be a judge?

            oooh he’s white….ok and it’s alabama…yeah

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      OOOPSIE! I am an idiot…now I see.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Derpaserveaderp.

      • jesterpunk

        Its the Derp State Alex Jones keeps talking about.

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      “Alabamader Serves Moore”. FIFH.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      They’ll still elect him because Alabama. But he will hate Trump because obvs.

    • DER, DER, DER!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      We can expect Moore to derp serve Alablamma.

    • commatoes

      Derp?

  • Picabo

    I’m hoping for the Streisand effect tomorrow in the NFL. Would like to see entire teams take a knee so Dotard’s head explodes.

    • Parakeetist

      I bet a lot of them will.

    • commatoes

      The entire cast of “9 to 5”?

  • Jonny On Maui

    OT: Oh yeah, I forgot. The world’s supposed to end today, Planet X and all. Anybody know what time?

    • jesterpunk

      It was cancelled.

      • Blackest Noobs

        they got the math wrong; they ALWAYS get the math wrong.

        • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

          Math is hard.

          • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

            Eschatology also too.

          • bbayliss

            Take a look at topology.

          • proudgrampa

            Immanentize the eschaton!

          • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

            Ewige Blumenkraft!

          • proudgrampa

            Finally, I meet another Trilogy fan!

          • Blackest Noobs

            listen i don’t know all the maths and the stuff i do know, i am a bit rusty but it’s really not that difficult.

            i haven’t done algebra since my offset printing days ( cutting large sheets of paper done to the size for a job) but i was able to assist my nephew do his algebra homework…my help made him go from C student to an A student.

            my point is it may seem difficult until you really try it.

            and we all would be a much better society if we all were better at it…like for instance this voter fraud nonesense….people would be pffting over wasting resources for a problem that happens only like .0001% of the time.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Algebra was a piece of cake, so was trig. What got me was effing geometry. I hate rote memorization of theorems and such.

          • Rasilom

            I was the opposite. For me trig and geometry were cake. Alge bra now that stuff sucked
            .

          • Shanzgood

            Ooh, I loved geometry! Especially the part where I had to sit with my teacher and explain my proofs.

            I can sometimes make things more complicated than they need to be.

          • Blackest Noobs

            that’s crazy cuz Trig is basically advanced geometry…and geometry is basically rote memorization of theorems .

            i took calculus ( English major) as an elective at university and got an A.
            but it really boils down to thinking logically.

          • Marion in Savannah

            I got through geometry, I just loathed it. For some reason solid geometry was fun. I are a weird one, no?!

          • Shanzgood

            I took calculus in HS but finally gave up after I had a math blowout trying to divide by zero. I wish I’d stuck with it because it was my physics teacher who was finally able to get me to understand a practical application for it.

          • Blackest Noobs

            it really took me years later to realize i had an aptitude for it…probably why my database professor called my coding elegant.

          • commatoes

            Everyone that loves the sciences can identify that one singular “AHA!!!” or “Eureka” moment. And it is not simply because they have just got into a bath tub.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            I’m dyscalculic, I have to be extremely careful balancing my books and such, but I can figure out percentages, like for tipping, in my head.

            I have had younger friends or dates look at me like I am Spock because I cold figure out what the tip should be in my head.

          • Blackest Noobs

            right on, right on

          • Shanzgood

            They can’t? 10-15-20% is not hard.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            I know, it’s been worrisome.

          • Shanzgood

            If my usual 20% comes to less than $5, I just tip the $5. Especially pizza delivery drivers. And in cash if I can manage it.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            Yeah, I’m the same if I can. I think it’s declasse to tip in change, I always round up to the next whole dollar.

          • Blackest Noobs

            and for those of you that can’t do the percentage thing in your heads…here’s simple cheat sheet:

            To find 5%, find 10% and divide it in two.
            To find 15%, find 10%, then add 5%.
            To find 20%, find 10% and double it.
            To find 25%, find 50% and then halve it.
            To find 60%, find 50% and add 10%.
            To find 75%, find 50% and add 25%.
            …and so on.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            This. I always start from the 10% because it’s easy. I’m a generous tipper too, but I like to figure the straight percentage before I boost it.

            Queers tip well, and Wait Staff watch our backs. It’s a good thing.

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            15% is one on seven. Go up from there.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            Ahh, thank you! :)

          • shivaskeeper

            Maths as a pure discipline was hard for me. Maths as an applied discipline were and are easy for me.

            IOW, doing math to do math is not my thing.

        • jesterpunk

          I was told there would be no maths.

          • Blackest Noobs

            math gets a bad rap. it’s not really that difficult but peeps don’t like to color within the lines.

          • jesterpunk

            I actually like math and can do a lot of it in my head, it was just a joke comment.

          • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

            Arithmetic, yes, the funny stuff, not so much.

          • Shanzgood

            Math can be quite creative.

          • wait! what?

            Ed Stetzer, a professor and executive director of Wheaton College’s Billy Graham Center for Evangelism, first took issue with how Meade is described in some media articles.

            “There’s no such thing as a Christian numerologist,” he told The Post. “You basically got a made-up expert in a made-up field talking about a made-up event.… It sort of justifies that there’s a special secret number codes in the Bible that nobody believes.”

          • Mehmeisterjr

            Oh, puh-leaze Ed Stetzer.

            Billy Graham is at least as much of a faker as any nutball numerologist and Franklin Graham is worse than his old man ever was.

          • wait! what?

            I know, right? Ed doesn’t want anyone stealing his thunder.

          • commatoes

            Well biblical numerology is different.

        • bbayliss

          Dems 2+2=4
          Repubs 2+2 =5
          Media 2+2 = 4.5

          • Blackest Noobs

            chicken-little religious-types : huh what? math? wait? what?

      • FukuiSanYesOta

        Sad. Weak.

        • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

          Flaccid. Spongy.

      • Left Coast Tom

        Just like Milo’s Berkeley “Free Speech Week”, then.

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Milorahanopolous is slightly less real than The Rapture.

      • wait! what?

        “The world is not ending, but the world as we know it is ending” on September 23. “A major part of the world will not be the same the beginning of October.”

        It really was canceled.

        • jesterpunk

          Trump is going to nuke someone next month or is he talking about last November when Trump was “elected”?

          • wait! what?

            There is going to be a catastrophic Diet Coke incident on the White House lawn and Melania’s inherited garden will never be the same.

    • TJ Barke

      I thought that was supposed to kill us five years ago…

      • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

        And two years ago. And last year ago.

        • TJ Barke

          I’ve heard this song before…

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            It’s like ZeroHedge. Predict a new Great Depression Crash everyday, then take credit for “wisdom” when the actual downturns happen.

          • Old town Urbandale

            Thank God we’ve lived in peace, love, and togetherness since the new age was ushered in with the Harmonic Convergence back in August ’87. Thirty years is a good run.

    • wait! what?

      Who knew you’d need astrology to validate a Bible prediction?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      An excellent proof that this is bullshit:

      Nobody has been heavily shorting the stock market, despite the Saturday Raptureline.

    • amrak63

      It already ended last year, and we’re all dead, and this is Hell.

      How else to explain the current Preznit?

    • proudgrampa

      The world is not coming to an end, but the law of gravity has been repealed. The Earth now sucks.

    • dshwa

      Now he’s saying today is the beginning of the end times. Or the end of the beginning times. Or just after the tea time of the somewhere in the middle of the latter part of the soon to be just after better times.

      Or something like that.

  • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

    Turn on Global Citizen thing right now. Mark Cuban may or may not be carrying a salami in his pocket

    • jesterpunk

      Damn it really does, I am a few minutes behind because I am doing laundry and watching this.

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      Cute, rich, nice, and hung too?

      • TJ Barke

        No, dude’s a full on randroid.

        • jesterpunk

          He spent the last year and a half trolling Trump on twitter and in the press and supported Hillary.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I’m sick of celebrities running for office or floating runs for office. Express your opinions, fine, more power to you, but please, can we have a separation of Hollywood and state? That other bankruptcy-prone jackwagon from Shark Tank with his troll campaign for Canadian PM that amounted to nothing more than “Justin sucks! Look at me! Give me money!” was enough. I’m oot.

          • jesterpunk

            As far as I know Mark Cuban hasn’t mentioned anything about running, he just doesnt like Trump and calls him out on his bullshit.

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          Oh, that sux.

          I’m tired of guys anyway.

    • commatoes

      Cucumber wrapped in foil?

  • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

    The Democratic Party never had to deal with progressives and radicals before 2016.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/957b10e47ef5948c2921b3336e5c8539306e4c56b4bf97c168a37df3925fbd81.jpg

  • Michael R
  • CO
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Trump says ‘thousands’ gather outside his rally; pics don’t back it up

    About 100-200 people were milling around outside the Von Braun Center Propst Arena in Huntsville, Ala. during Donald Trump’s speech Friday night. (Anna Claire Vollers | avollers@AL.com)

    • TJ Barke

      SURPRISE! The nazi lies about his support!

    • bbayliss

      I believe it is well established that the man is a liar.

    • Nockular cavity

      Werner Von Braun would have NEVER had anything to do with some demagogue Nazi ass…

      Oh. Oh yeah. Never mind.

      • The Wanderer

        “‘Und I’m learning Chinese!’ says Werner von Braun.”

  • amrak63

    I would like to take this moment to remind the world that Disqus suqqs qamel qoqqs.

    I also wish to invite Disqus to liqq my love pump.

    • SnarkON

      Great song. Intertwining lines.

      • armed_bears

        D minor, which I always find is really the saddest of all keys

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          The saddest song I ever wrote was in C# minor…not exactly a key I’m comfortable with, but happened to be the right one for my extremely modest vocal range.

          • armed_bears

            Small world: The worst mobile app I ever wrote was in C#, also.

      • Daniel

        I find it’s like a Mach piece.

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy
    • TJ Barke

      It’s been working okay for me all thread.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Please check your internet connection and try again.

      • armed_bears

        Reboot, check your internet connection and try again.

        • TJ Barke

          Buy a new computer, reboot, check your internet connection and try again.

          • commatoes

            Call tech support. Be told, “Buy a new computer, reboot, check your internet connection and try again.”

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      Take the batteries out and wipe the ends with a cloth.

      • Shanzgood

        They should be tested first. My dad had me check a 9V for him once by putting it on my tongue.

        • Raan

          I used to do that just because.

          • Shanzgood

            Wow, and I thought my dad was messed up (PBUH).

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          I am not sure if your dad is an asshole or a really good prankster.

          • Shanzgood

            Oh, he was lovely! We definitely were big on pranking. But I suspect we were amateurs compared to baconz, though. He pranked me so hard on April Fools Day that I cried. And you know what’s even more nuts? He did the same thing to his mom first and you know what she said immediately? “Oh, you have GOT to do this one to Shan RIGHT NOW!”

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            That was the prison break out prank right?

          • Shanzgood

            YES! Holy crap, I almost threw up from the 6:00am pre-coffee adrenaline rush! I was shaking for 20 minutes!

            But I’ve got MONTHS left to plan my revenge..,

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            A 9V battery in your hoo-ha for the cunning linguist?

          • Shanzgood

            Um, no. He’d probably enjoy that.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Sick bastard! (could it be he and I were seperated at birth?)

          • Shanzgood

            Is your mom an Irish Catholic septuagenarian with 12 siblings?

          • Shanzgood

            (Also, he wasn’t actually in prison or jail which was why it was all the more believable.)

          • RevengeOfSmot

            I’ve spent 24 yrs pranking my daughter in a vain attempt at curing her gullibility. It’s known far and wide that she is quite gullible despite my best efforts to correct the condition.

            When Irma hit Florida I told her that I had seen video on CNN of some poor sharks that had gotten sucked up in the storm, and were 100ft in the air.

            She then told her co-workers this “news”, and they promptly started giggling, and giving her the side eye.

            She immediately responds – “Thanks dad…”, and tells me what happened. It was all good though because luckily for her she has some really great co-workers at the hospital she works at, and they know how gullible she can be so they all shared a good laugh.

            I learned that 1. I still had some work to do with my daughter. 2. My daughter takes whatever I say as the gospel truth, and indisputable fact. I gotta watch what I say around her…rofl

          • Shanzgood

            The gullibility is genetic, like her eye color, and won’t change. Trust me, I’m the same. Both my dads pranked me all my life and my remaining one STILL does. Because he knows he can.

            Baconzgood is rubbing his hands together right now.

          • Doug Langley

            Gosh. Where do you suppose he gets that from?

          • Shanzgood

            They’re a little warped.

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          We did that all the time. It tickles.

    • The Wanderer

      I upvote you for amusing uses of ‘q.’

  • C4TWOMAN

    Any word on the German election tomorrow/today?
    (I can’t time zone on this phone)

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Easy win for Merkel but the very big chance the AfD will find its way into the Bundestag. Biggest question will be if they will be the Third party. If yes they will get to appoint ministers and that is something nobody wants but fears this will exactly be what is going to happen.

      • BadKitty904

        My understanding is that Russia is currently focusing its cyber-attacks on said German election, hoping to repeat their American victory?

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          They won’t but AfD on the rise is a clear and present danger.

        • Perkniticky

          Twitter us not that popular in Germany – though maybe more popular among the right wing.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Because German words are so long 140 characters never allows a complete sentence?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Will they have a media blackout like France did? That would help…

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          That I don’t know but I will be up early enough to keep you guys updated.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Cheers

  • BadKitty904
  • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

    James Comey’s Speech Derailed By Protests During Howard University Convocation

    https://www.yahoo.com/news/james-comey-apos-speech-derailed-165710433.html

  • CO
    • Marion in Savannah

      Good.

    • Charon_69

      Good, one of the stronger weapons we have to torment him with is denial of photo ops and attention

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Will all NFL players in all the games take a knee tomorrow?

    • Shanzgood

      I wish they would, if for no other reason than to show solidarity with the “sons of bitches” The Dotard says should be fired.

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      No, it would be half of them. Oh, I’m thinking of something else.

  • TJ Barke

    Unsolved Mysteries is pretty entertaining.

    • Panika MCD

      Drunk History even more so.

  • Baconzgood

    I’d like to see Donald bait the NFL by saying “I will take no more campaign contributions from any person or corporation that is involved with or advertises during an NFL broadcast”.

    Who do you think Halliburton or Pepsi-co is going to side with on that one? The next 5 years NFL will make more money, and employees more people than coal ever can in the next 30.

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.forbes.com/sites/jasonbelzer/2016/02/29/thanks-to-roger-goodell-nfl-revenues-projected-to-surpass-13-billion-in-2016/amp/

    • Left Coast Tom

      L’il Donnie wouldn’t ever refuse a dime from anyone.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oh, that would be perfect. Too bad Donald puts money above all and would never pass on a chance to make a buck.

    • jesterpunk

      Trump’s twit threats against companies has backfired lately, anytime he twits about a company they wind up making more money. Its also that his supporters do not understand boycotts and they go and spend more money at those companies but are jerks when they do it.

      • Daniel

        The Starbuck’s “buycott” was the best.

        • commatoes

          I imagine a bunch of them coming in after church on Sunday, complaining about the godless workers working on the Sabbath, and inevitably getting flustered when none of them can figure out which drink belongs to whom.

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        Thus drawing more attention to themselves?

      • Baconzgood

        That’s funny that you mention that. I noticed that when Trump hates a company the DOW goes down but the S&P 500 (the ten measure of the market according to stock brokers) gets a boost. Strange.

        • jesterpunk

          Dow goes down for a little bit but generally goes back up higher. Companies are ignoring his BS.

    • dshwa

      If it wasn’t for America’s inexhaustible supply of “I’m not racist, but…”s, I’d say this would work.

    • wait! what?

      With the defense budget being passed Donald’s gonna wanna get a photo-op with the Carlysle Group’s cross over product with Pepsi-Co: an armored beverage conveyance vehicle.

      • Baconzgood

        Eat his cake and have it too.

        Nyet

      • Baconzgood

        Hey the Steelers have always had a great defense budget and still spends under the cap.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Can we go back to having humans from all parties count and certify paper ballots?

    • bbayliss

      Works in Canada

      • Charon_69

        We’re also pretty big on the photo ID thing

        • Three Finger Salute

          But at least you accept different types of photo I.D. (or have a national one?) and not just ones that Tories are more likely to have. The states that tried to do this allowed driver’s licenses, military I.D., and even gun licenses, but not student I.D., passports or I.D. cards from the DMV that weren’t driver’s licenses. Thus discriminating against people who are more likely to vote for Democrats, like college students, the disabled, city dwellers, and international travelers — and in favor of those more likely to vote Republican, like suburbanites/rural folks, the military, and, of course, gun owners.

          You’re not trying to run a Kkkris Kkkobach Kkkrosscheck either. That would work out to be such an asinine clusterfuck in Canada, because of all the newborn sons of refugees named Justin Trudeau something-or-other. When they’d show up on the database, their entries cancel all the Justin Trudeaus out — and invalidate the vote of the prime minister. Whether or not he’s still PM by the time the other Justin Trudeaus turn 18.

          • bbayliss

            Thanks

    • dshwa

      And have to wait longer for the results? Perish the thought.

      • Doug Langley

        Yeah, it’s just so much faster for Putin to tell us the result.

    • wait! what?

      Great, more chads; queue incel rage…

    • Panika MCD

      I like the scantron version where there’s a paper trail, but the initial count is electronic.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        Did you watch the video? The paper count was wrong.

        • Panika MCD

          humans are flawed? my whole world is based on a lie!

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      We have Inkavote in California.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • BadKitty904

      Is he calling the faithful to prayer?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Trolololo is what most televangelists are really saying so yes.

  • Panika MCD

    over at TribFest, bombs are being thrown. it’s going to be an interesting election cycle down here.

    https://www.texastribune.org/2017/09/22/live-blog-texas-tribune-festival-2017/

    • Panika MCD

      my favorite part is where State Sen. Dawn Buckingham (R – ophthalmology) is all, “all the sheriffs LOVE our ‘papers please provision’!!!” and the head of the Combined Law Enforcement Associations of Texas responds with, “no we fucking don’t.”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Dear DHS, I don’t get how doing your goddamn job is “a bias to get information to [the states] as quickly as we can.” A “duty” is a better word.

    • commatoes

      To be fair, investigations can take a long time. Imagine sifting through possible terabytes of data. Also, recall the instances when a news organization has done insufficient research to get the story out first.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Ok, true. Still, if the primary goal is to keep interference out of the voting process, they have an obligation to at least provide warnings to enable corrective measures.

        • commatoes

          But think of the crushing blow to Trump and his supporters collective ego when they discover that their entire raison d’etre was engineered by Putin because they are all dupes. OTOH, the constitutional crisis will be a drag.

  • Michael R

    Colin Kaepernick’s mom responds to Trump’s comment
    ” Get that son of a bitch off the field’ ”

    ‘Guess that makes me a proud b*tch!’

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8acfe36139f05de89f82412c7b054290b23e4987d3680052bd6bed4f0bfa6fe9.png

    • Shanzgood

      Go, Mom!

      • BadKitty904

        American moms will fuck the Traitor up!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          I know my mom would. And could.

          • BadKitty904

            Ditto. Without even breathing heavily.

          • Shanzgood

            My mom scares ME still!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            So does mine. And she’s about to turn 93.

    • Alan

      Never, ever, piss off mom.

  • Picabo

    Friendly Atheist reports “Ark Encounter Is Now Selling Rainbow Umbrellas (Take THAT, Gay People)”
    Note the Ark Encounter logo on the umbrella. Ken Ham is a moran. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ccf6bad73bf3f3800280f3accbd24fe23539cc7468873457e9a0d58dacde264c.jpg

  • Blackest Noobs
    • Three Finger Salute

      I’ve written here before about why my grandmother never could stand Kurt Angle for just that reason.

  • Panika MCD
  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Sheepshagger

    You know I find myself agreeing with Hillary once again. I never thought he’d be this bad. I mean, he was obviously utterly unqualified, but how can you be such a fuck up? Was there ever a more throbbing, strobing, self evident case for a 90% estate tax than Donald trump? He’s just so malignantly incompetent I find it fascinating. I knew a lawyer once who asked for an adjournment so he could consider his arguments afresh. The point he was arguing was that at this particular point it would be contrary to the interests of justice to adjourn proceedings. I thought the judges eyebrows were going to permanently migrate over his head and make a new home at the top of his neck. Trump makes him look like the bastard child of Cicero and RBG.

    • BadKitty904

      “Vicious” and “Spiteful” help.

      • Sheepshagger

        In all seriousness, my main concern was that he would make a show of being conciliatory and bipartisan- lithe press were basically pawing at his flies to blow him for the tiniest suggestion of competence. Didn’t happen, which is weird.

        • BadKitty904

          Well, he IS mentally unbalanced (see: Narcissistic personality disorder). That’s a LOT of it…

          • Phried Ω

            and I don’t see sociopath as an either or diagnosis. Why not both if not at the same time. DrumpfCare is from the sociopath but pass anything is from the narcissist.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      RBG?

  • Panika MCD
    • Blackest Noobs

      my Boy Al speaketh the truth!!!!

  • Picabo

    “NBA 2017 Champions: We Won’t Visit White House”
    http://www.joemygod.com/2017/09/23/nba-2017-champions-wont-visit-white-house/

  • Major_Major_Major

    I’m trying to get this straight in my head:
    Trump is the nominal president v45.0,
    Bannon was president v45.1,
    So is Kelly president 45.2?
    All things considered, President Kelly seems to be doing a marginally better job than the previous two.
    It is a low bar, mind you.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Wrong. Putin is president for life.

  • Blackest Noobs

    and another thing about the goddamn flag, and nationalism, and all that bs:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYeNyYGTSjU

    • BadKitty904
      • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

        Then they can see what happens when I finally let a lifetime of rage loose.

      • The Wanderer

        My Mom recalls doing the old Bellamy Salute in grade school, up until 1942. It fell out of favor then, for some reason.

        • Sheepshagger

          I read G Gordon Liddys book. He fucking loved the Bellamy salute. Like sexually loved it. He waxed lyrical about how his heels snapped together and he just automatically did it for years after it stopped being the thing. He was a creepy fascist fuck.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Love this album. Best one they did in my humble opinion
      ETA:they are all good, and I wouldn’t argue anyone’s differing choice.

      • Blackest Noobs

        i think each one (album) just got better and better but have known peeps who were Repeater or nothing folks….but my fav has always been Steady Diet of Nothing.

        though funny with the song Long Division, I would imagine Homer Simpson singing it.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Steady Diet would be a close runner up, although Waiting Room is still my favorite song , but I dabbled at playing bass so I might have a bit of a bias.

  • armed_bears

    Way OT: Can I have a man crush on Common?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      How can you not?

  • Sheepshagger

    I thought this was rather sweet- “How my gay dads ruined my life “https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ways-my-gay-dads-ruined-my-life

    • BadKitty904

      Gotdamn onions…

    • The Librarian

      Love this.

      • Sheepshagger

        The “crew of queens advising you how to be a woman” part is especially true to life.

    • Those bastards! Providing her with a loving home, rules, and good advice! What else could they have done to ruin her life?

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • The Wanderer

      And Ted Nugent.

    • BadKitty904

      As accurate a summation as I’ve heard in a while.

    • BadKitty904

      Well, “We are allowing ourselves to be led, etc.”

  • armed_bears

    Trump ascribes privilege to something Kaepernick earned through hard work, and ascribes hard work to something Trump achieved largely through privilege.

    • Panika MCD

      but we’re in a post-racial society…right?

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        We would be if those people didn’t keep bringing race into everything.

        • armed_bears

          those

        • Panika MCD

          like when they are of different ethnicities? yeah, they have a lot of gall to not be spraypainted orange like POTUS.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Trump thinks Kaepernick is bought and paid for and should shut up now that white men have made him rich.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Oh yes, that is very true. It’s the same with his disparaging the “toughness” of POWs and sports players–whereas his personal Vietnam was avoiding STDs.

    • bbayliss

      Well said

  • Left Coast Tom
    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      My word, it’s like paradise. :)

      • Sheepshagger

        Don’t drink it. It’s almost certainly heaving with pollutants and shit. I’m afraid our image and reality are a little at odds.

    • Baconzgood

      That’s pretty. You shoot that?

      • Left Coast Tom
        • Baconzgood

          I used to be a photographer myself. Large format (4X5 and 8X10). You know the feeling of carrying the weight of equipment across a Moss covered creek bed, or running up a hill as fast as you can because the light is “perfect over there” or sneaking onto property that has a sign “trespassers WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT”.

          I was an architectural and table top photographer. I developed my own chromes and color film by hand. I miss film. Digital seems…too…it lacks discipline. You can “fix it in photoshop”. The fun was knowing you take the right filters and film and lens. Then going into the lab and making it….perfect.

          Frankly I could teach anyone what Adams did with a good thermometer and stop watch. Transparencies and color…NOW THAT TOOK SKILL.

          But I digress (earlier today I was reminded that I was a skilled film photographer/developer)

        • Baconzgood

          I love the fog in the background. I would have bracketed it. But you probably did. I’d like to see it a 1/2 stop lighter and then a full stop lighter.

          What do you shoot? Canon? Nikon? Leica? Rolleiflex?

          Please tell me you shot that with a Rollie or Leica. Baconz is nuts about German optics (although the Japanese and Americans made better film)

          • Left Coast Tom

            That’s a Nikon D3100.

          • Left Coast Tom

            By the way, that fog was actually clouds being blown by winds in the 55 MPH range (90 KPH).

  • Mavenmaven

    Every time he tweets about “crooked Hillary” we should call him “traitor Trump. (Dotard Donald?)

    • Major_Major_Major

      Yes

  • The Librarian

    Omfg! That video is one of the scariest things I’ve seen. I almost had an onion ninja bang down my door when that one lady started crying. It doesn’t help that some of our states still use a paper ballot. Every state should. I love technology, it would be hard to work without the databases I use. This is just plain fucked up.

    • Our state used a paper ballot which is scanned, and the actual ballot is stored in the machine. Any questions about the vote count, and the paper ballots can be examined and counted. Back when electronic voting machines were starting to come on the market, that was one of the big concerns, that they could be easily hacked. Of course, the manufacturers denied it, despite various universities and white hat hackers showing them they could hack the machines in under a minute.

      • Three Finger Salute

        And you know what the (probably bought-and-paid-for) election-oversight officials said to those university IT researchers and white-hat vulnerability testers?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6l8MFdTaPE

      • The Librarian

        Yes, same here.

  • Three Finger Salute

    SEC took too long to report that they’d been hacked too. Even as they were wagging their fingers at Equifax and other financial institutions to build a firewall and make your customers/shareholders pay for it.

    https://www.reuters.com/article/us-sec-cyber/hack-of-wall-st-regulator-rattles-investors-lawmakers-idUSKCN1BW25J

    Our infrastructure isn’t only physically crumbling. We have vulnerabilities and holes all over the informational infrastructure and sensitive data that’s just being siphoned off to rogue states and criminal organizations. No one cares, because it would require spending tax money to fix it and we certainly aren’t going to do anything socialist like that.

    I sometimes lay awake at night worried that health insurance companies will get hacked, and the information posted to one of those troll sites to use as a public “enemies list,” by doxing people with conditions or who’ve received treatments or procedures that render them public lepers. Such as transition services, abortion or especially mental healthcare. Aetna already revealed a number of customers’ HIV+ status the old-fashioned way, by sending out billing statements in a windowed envelope (with the paper inserted the wrong way).

    Who’s to say this same thing won’t happen en masse digitally, with millions of people suddenly “outed” to their friends, families, employers, and the community in general? It’s not just the fact that private data would be revealed. It’s the social-acceptability norm of what kind of conditions would generate sympathy, and which ones cause people to hate you. Anything related to LGBT or women’s reproductive care is guaranteed to mark you for life. But so is mental health. Which means all that would happen is people would go without treatment out of fear of being publicly humiliated.

    This is an entirely plausible scenario and the fact that nothing will be done about it makes me sick. I just wouldn’t want anyone to know that, well, it causes anxiety.

    • wait! what?

      Most hacks are inside jobs. Infiltrating any data sensitive department’s work force is notoriously easy. “Mr. Robot” was the first show to make that painfully clear.

      • The problem these days is more that everyone (and business) seems to think that every single piece of equipment and system should be connected to the internet. These days, there’s no need to infiltrate the work force, a good phishing e-mail and you can sit in your home and break into the system.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Yeah, IoT will be the death of us. Why the fuck does a toilet need to be hooked up to Bluetooth and have a flushing app?

    • Panika MCD

      at a certain point, so many would be outed for having conditions that there would be no one left to be a leper.

      • shivaskeeper

        People will still be able to draw distinctions and set up us vice them lines. “I only had xx, but YOU had yy”. Never underestimate the draw of tribalism.

        • Panika MCD

          I don’t underestimate it, but I also don’t underestimate the number of people willing to defend their friends and family. they may have once thought ill of something and now have second thoughts.

          • shivaskeeper

            There is that.

          • Three Finger Salute

            It wouldn’t be mine, that’s for sure. When my mother was seeing a counselor to figure out what to do about my father, his family and the abusive marriage she found herself in, his mother found out (because he ran to tell mommy that the mean old missus is saying bad things about me to a head shrinker) — and threatened to use it against her in a custody battle to prove that she was mentally ill and an unfit parent. So she had to stay in the marriage because of the catch-22 of losing me, because the courts would have ruled her incompetent.

            There’ve been distant cousins who were known to have died of AIDS, who basically got written off and never spoken of again. The mother or father will die and have an obituary in the paper, and there’s no mention of the dead child (usually a son, and therefore probably a gay one) in the obituary. The Romans called this damnatio memoriae, literally a condemnation of your memory. You get erased from existence for “disgracing” the family, almost like you never came into the world at all. This has even been the case with relatives who die and leave out children who had kids out of wedlock from their obituary. Or who got divorced, especially if they remarried.

            Nothing is a guarantee, but blood alone certainly doesn’t mean a greater likelihood of “defending” another family member who for one reason or another is thought to bring “shame” of whatever sort onto the family name. Something like AIDS has resulted with numerous people being disowned. I gather that mental illness might too. It certainly became a weapon of blackmail in my family. Maybe it’s different now than it was in the eighties, but there’s still those pockets of resentment among people of a more “traditional” bent.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    Jim Hoft better watch out, or Chris Cillizza will sneak up on him and steal the title of Dumbest Man on the Internet.

  • FDRliberal
  • CO

    Not sure if this has been posted but I really liked what the Warriors had to say.
    https://twitter.com/WarriorsPR/status/911671456928382976

    • alpacapunchbowl

      They might be turning me into a fan…

  • Ezio
    • jesterpunk
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      You should probably consider shutting your stupid trap Donnie. Your lawyers have quite enough on their plates already.

    • TJ Barke

      Too bad no one in Donnie’s government cares about law and order…

    • shivaskeeper

      If he’s called on it, he will have been only joking. Whatsamatta? Can’t you take a joke?

      • puredog

        “Hey, I was just being sarcastic.” — Clueless Donnie

        • shivaskeeper

          Sarcastic has to many syllables.

    • Canned Covfefe

      He’s new to this. Can’t expect to know ALL the laws. Sheesh. Especially when he’s got a war to start.

  • jesterpunk

    So in 2015 Michelle spoke at global citizens

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPbzBdfpb5o

    And again in 2016, that one was by video.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f8rY3iH75E

    Who wants to bet if Turnip or Melodrama will say anything this year?

  • Sheepshagger

    Hey this’ll calm shit down! https://twitter.com/idreesali114/status/911643701579014146

    Gotcha iodine pulls y’all?

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      I look at it this way – I’ve sworn to live Free or Die. If Fat Ass and Little Boy destroy the world with Nukes, I wont be a slave, I wont be afraid anymore, and I’ll never have to hear another slur.

      Launch now, Motherfuckers. I got nothing to lose.

      • Lord Jim

        “Fat Ass and Little Boy”

        Heh. Wut you did thar. I seen it.

  • Panika MCD

    Recap: The fight over “sanctuary cities” isn’t over

    Rep. Matt Schaefer, R-Tyler, defended his controversial amendment to Texas’s “sanctuary cities” law, Senate Bill 4, during a lively panel at the Texas Tribune Fest Saturday.

    “Our officers need all tools at their disposal,” he said of an amendment that would prevent police chiefs, sheriffs and other local leaders from preventing peace officers from questioning the immigration status of people they detain or arrest.

    Schaefer noted Democrats had a chance to strike a deal and withdraw the amendment but chose not to, but Democratic Rep. Ana Hernandez of Houston shot back, “It wasn’t our job to fix your amendment.”

    Panelists also disagreed on whether law enforcement was in favor of the law. Sen. Dawn Buckingham, R-Lakeway, said nearly every sheriff in the state was supportive.

    “The law enforcers in my district were all for it,” she said.

    Charley Wilkison, the executive director of the Combined Law Enforcement Associations of Texas, said his organization was neutral on the issue until Schaefer’s amendment was added.

    He said a safety hazard is created when police officers ask people about their citizenship over their criminal activity.

    “They’re either going to fight, or they’re going to run,” he said.

    — Chris Essig

    https://www.texastribune.org/2017/09/22/live-blog-texas-tribune-festival-2017/

    in short: CLEAT tells Dawny Buckingham:
    https://i.imgur.com/NjPUA8x.gif

    • mancityRed6

      good lord, they are a special kind of stupid.

      • Panika MCD

        she did an alright job in the first half of the regular session. she even prepared well for her hazing. and then at the end of March she was all, “oh, I forgot to tell you guys: I’M FUCKING CRAZY!”

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          So no crazy eyes to give everyone a hint of the batshit cra-cra deep inside?

          • Panika MCD

            not like Bob Hall. or Konni Burton. or Don Huffines.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Stealth Crazy … we’re about to elect one to our local finance board. Looks like the all American Mom™ … but my gut tells me she’s one of the crazy libertarian ones …

            At least there’s no jeebus involved …

  • janecita

    How can Paris Dennard look at himself in the mirror? He goes on TV and defends the indefensible, the man is an embarrassment to his race.

    • mancityRed6

      stupidity knows no race.

  • Ezio
    • jesterpunk

      Hmm there is something different about the people in the first and second picture. I can’t quite put my finger on it but something about the second group that Trump doesnt like.

      • Is it the shoulder pads? The large hands?

      • janecita

        Tight pants?

        • Panika MCD

          LEGGINGS!!!!

          • janecita

            Oh no!!! Damn sluts are asking to get raped!!!

      • Sheepshagger

        Fine heads of hair and flat bellies?

        • mancityRed6

          some of us have neither, but I’ll still [redacted] those bastards in the top picture

      • mancityRed6

        the bottom picture is of men?

      • Blackest Noobs

        is it the skin color he could never ever achieve with spray on tanner?

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        Big . . . hands?

    • Sheepshagger

      That guy in the white shirt needs a speech bubble: ” Nazi? Me? Inconceivable!”

  • mancityRed6

    remember when anonymous said they saved things?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQLV7nqD3CA
    where the fuck were they this time?

  • Sheepshagger

    What’s that word trumptards like so much? Cuckold? Donnie, I don’t know how to tell you this…https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/911700914997792769

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    You know what feels good? Locking the shop door after work on Saturday, having a whole day off on Sunday, and the temperature finally below 100, making my shop and house habitable again. And downing a coupla beers and playing music. Those things always feel good too, also.

    • mancityRed6

      oh, shit, I forgot I bought beer. thanks.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Well, if YOU’re not going to drink it…

        • mancityRed6

          you’re welcome to stop by, I have four pints and some whiskey.

      • notaten

        That’s like when people say oh, I forgot to eat today. I don’t even understand this word combination!

    • DrBigHead

      Stunningly beautiful in the Old Pueblo this morning, wasn’t it?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Finally. We survived another one.

    • janecita

      Pobrecito working on a Saturday:-(

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’ve been doing it so long, I don’t even notice anymore.

        How was your first week back to work?

        • janecita

          It wasn’t my first week back, I just had classes all week long. I even had to do a night class, it sucked. I go to schools, shelters, rehab centers, prisons, there is a lot of driving involved, that’s the part that I hate.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I hate driving too. My shop is about two miles from my house. I don’t even know what your job is, btw.

          • janecita

            I’m a Health Educator at Planned Parenthood.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Good for you! You know Trump wants to destroy you, right?

          • janecita

            We are tough broads, let him try!

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I bet. He thinks getting in a feud with the NFL is bad…

          • janecita

            Cecile Richards would kick his ass. That woman has skills;-)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            She learned it from her mom. As did you, no doubt.

          • Canned Covfefe

            Great job! I co-directed an HIV/AIDS org and was also in charge of education. I used to joke ( oh god, we needed plenty of joking) that I had the best job in the world. I got to talk about sex all the time and they paid me for it. One of best jobs I’ve had but not for that reason.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
  • Red Bird

    I do believe that Russia influenced the election but I don’t think it was with votes. I believe they used voter data to target and motivated racist white people to support Trump

    • my feet are normal

      They also motivated racist white people on the left.

    • Phried Ω

      I’m not so sure anymore. I think the north central swing states could have been tampered with.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Marion in Savannah

      Look at those faces — SQUEE squared.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Just met my sister’s new kitty this morning. About 4 months old, gray tabby and white, beautiful, affectionate, with that wonderful, lithe, almost boneless feeling young cats have. Squee indeed!

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Tropical Storm Lee will eventually become a hurricane. But look at its path. Pathetic, weak, sad. I like hurricanes that know where they are going and make me look like the winner I am.

    –D.Trump

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0a78e7b8c16656240bccb8238b745d67e835f71c53c8c8b9f6a03c736e43c55c.png

    • Marion in Savannah

      Actually, I wish Trump were just like Lee — let Trump stagger around in the middle of the Atlantic not harming anyone. What a relief it would be.

  • my feet are normal

    The fact is you don’t need to access the votes directly if you can get the voter rolls.

  • janecita

    Here is a feel good story, about an awesome little girl, and her love of bugs:-)

    http://www.npr.org/2017/09/19/552181920/a-girl-s-love-for-bugs-goes-viral

  • mancityRed6

    there’s a loudest fucking car competition going on at the local industrial park. I can hear it on my balcony. I am really, really, _really_ trying to control my instincts of … yeah, well.
    hair is cut, apt is vacuumed. Imma go to Ikea sometime to get a decent shelf and move the living room around again.

    • Shanzgood

      If you’re rearranging, don’t forget to warn the cats.

      • mancityRed6

        that’s the best part

        • Shanzgood

          No wonder Karl is an asshole.

          • mancityRed6

            Imma do it tomorrow and leave him in the living room for the night until I get back from Joplin.

          • Shanzgood

            Bring back a gallon of Nature’s Miracle.

          • mancityRed6

            meth? ’cause that’s kinda what Joplin is known for.

          • Shanzgood

            I meant something to neutralize the cat pee.

          • mancityRed6

            eh, it’s still a rental.

  • Ezio
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Perfect!

    • yyyaz

      Until death do us part, ramen.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Meat sauce bubbling away in the slow cooker, kitchen cleaned…can I have a drink or three now?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      It would be irresponsible not to.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Just what I wanted to hear, my friend.

        • Marion in Savannah

          What’s the meat sauce going to go on top of? I usually put it on something like radiatore because the sauce snuggles into all the little nooks and crannies.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            Spaghetti. I’m a traditionalist. It will be whole wheat spaghetti, however.

          • Marion in Savannah

            I always used to use spaghetti, but since I retired I’ve gotten a wee bit more “adventuresome.” But as we all know, spaghetti is a major food group!

    • mancityRed6

      you didn’t during? tsk, tsk, tsk.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Knock yourself out. Have 10…

  • my feet are normal

    Lastly, as I always say: fuck Chris fucking Cillizza

    • Marion in Savannah

      Firstly, middle-ly, and lastly. Always. With a rusty Garden Weasel and maybe a few votes against him.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I’d like to see a fist fight between Trump and Lebron James. Who do you think would win?

    • janecita

      Trump! He has those gigantic, scary hands.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        And he’s so tough and white.

        • Blackest Noobs

          edit:

          And he’s so tough talking and soooooo very white.

        • janecita

          Like a fluffy marshmallow.

        • wait! what?

          Donald’s hospital stay could be described thusly:

          It was the largest amount of flowers ever to witness a coma victim.

    • mancityRed6

      oh come on, Lebron has the reach. let’s make it realistic.
      tRump vs a fifth grader

      • Blackest Noobs

        more like Trump versus Lil Kim ( of North Korea)

        my money is on Lil Kim cuz i know Koreans, and even though Lil Kim is much as a spoiled brat as Trump, he is Korean, and Korean are notoriously mean as fuck when it comes to fighting scraping.

        • mancityRed6

          they’re both about the same intelligence.

          • Blackest Noobs

            certainly, but fighting, down and dirty, has fuck-all to do with intelligence.

          • mancityRed6

            ok, so their hand size is about the same

          • Blackest Noobs

            ha ha ha…wait….we don’t really know Dear Leader’s hand size.
            it’s quite possible all that lobster-eating made his hands bigger than Trump’s.

          • mancityRed6

            not with him having to wear those heels.
            google has him at 5’7″ which might still be propaganda

          • Blackest Noobs

            height doesn’t seem to help Trump in the hand size department.

    • Ezio

      Trump calls in Alex Jones for backup.

      • mancityRed6

        *alex jones is too busy licking bbq sauce off of his nipples to respond*

        • Ezio
          • mancityRed6
          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            You look 10 or more years younger than Jones.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            It’s weird. Jone’s face makes him look fatter than he really is.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            It that what it is?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            *nods* A fathead in more ways than one.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            xD

            He’s a Shill and a Carnival Geek. If he is really only 43 years old, I predict a massive infarction and/or stroke in his future.

          • mancityRed6

            it’s the lack of hate, kinda. and no trucker speed. well, except for those few times.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            xD

            I was telling my friend at Big Lots about my Baby Girl, starting her 3rd Semester of college, and Friend goes “No Way! You aren’t old enough to have a kid at college!”

            It made me happy. :)

          • CO

            43 in human years or lizard?

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            Dude says he’s a year younger than me. Man looks like shit with a bad Haircut.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            It’s Ultimate Monkey Man! Floridly pink and about to burst a blood vessel!

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            He’s like a Rump Roast with a Mouth.

        • Canned Covfefe

          Eeewwwwwww.. I was so looking forward to dinner.

    • Panika MCD

      all of us, Katie?

    • jesterpunk

      Lebron even if he just woke up and hasn’t had any coffee yet.

      • Panika MCD

        especially if he’s just been roused and has not had coffee.

  • Sheepshagger

    Well damn. Here’s a photo that was too spicy for the 1903 national geographic editor. (Boobs warning) Also that fine cloak is human hair. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6c9a87aaa9d485e7145578aef60038aa69d5c3986ecf5540c7b8051977bfa423.jpg

    • Dg Hacket

      Is this the National Geographic site?!

      • Sheepshagger

        I took the photo of the photo with my phone. It’s just in the back of a nineties Nat G.

  • Shanzgood

    OMG!! My daughter is going on a DATE this afternoon!!! I’m so excited!

    And nervous! Because she was supposed to be here already and now I’m freaking out that my girl is going to get stood up and I’ll have to cut someone.

    Now I know why some parents arrange to be cleaning their guns when dates arrive.

    • Panika MCD

      does she have clean undies?

      • wait! what?

        The big worry is if all the undergarments match…

        • mancityRed6

          not on the first date, jeez.

          • Canned Covfefe

            Oh yes, first date. What if they’re in an accidental and her underwear doesn’t match. Although why you’d wear any to begin with is beyond me.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s because you don’t have boobs.

          • Canned Covfefe

          • Panika MCD

            you do know that underwires serve a purpose for many of us, right?

          • mancityRed6

            come on now, even if you’re gonna get to that base, it’s still like christmas morning.

        • Panika MCD

          you really want to go with matching undergarments here?

          • mancityRed6

            it’s not like it ever mattered to me

          • Panika MCD
          • mancityRed6

            well…I mean…everything looks better on the floor

          • Canned Covfefe

            ROFLMAO

          • Marion in Savannah

            Well, only if it gives daughter a feeling of “Hell, yeah! I’m great!” And it’s nobody else’s bidness at all.

          • mancityRed6

            ^^this^^

          • commatoes

            I dated a woman that almost always wore sexy bits ‘o nothing. She said it felt like armour and she she could walk around work feeling like “Yeah, I got my shit and everyone knows it.”

        • Shanzgood

          Oh shit. She just bought new ones.

      • bbayliss

        You stop that kinda talk right now, signed,
        a father.

        • Panika MCD

          there was a concern earlier in the week. I didn’t say she was going to show them to her date!

    • Sheepshagger

      Did you give her change for the pay phone?

      • Panika MCD

        I think the contemporary version is, “is your phone charged and do you have a back up charger?”

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Backup battery: a teenage daughter’s parent’s best friend.

          • Panika MCD

            I was on the crux of cell phones being a thing when I was in high school. I always conveniently let it run out of battery. I hated that thing.

        • Sheepshagger

          I know but I enjoy pretending I’m 109 years old

          • Panika MCD

            did they have pay phones 95 years ago?

          • mancityRed6

            telegraph, but you still had to pay. stop.

      • Shanzgood

        She has money! Plus, they’re both coming back here after.

    • stumpknocker

      she better let him wait in the den with you for about an hour to tighten his happy ass up.

    • wait! what?

      Dear Diary,

      Got stood up and drunk with my mom on the same night…

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Say hello to my little fren”. *swivels machine gun toward date*

    • My sisters still complain about me and my friends. My dad wasn’t the one the boyfriends feared. It was a few of us having a little … chat … with them before they arrived.

    • mancityRed6

      that never scared me.

      • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

        I can shoot straighter than any man.

        • mancityRed6

          nope, still not scared.
          although, maybe with a H&K .308, maybe

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            Solothern 20mm.

          • mancityRed6

            I’m not a plane. a Remington 870 with full tube will do just fine, thanks.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            xD Honestly, the one firearm I’d like to shoot would be an 1880s Martini-Henry like the British Army carried. .45 Boxer, Black Powder cartridges. It might knock me over with the recoil.

          • mancityRed6

            Dragunov ’cause I’ve never.
            I’ve shot a rechambered Garand
            maybe an Enfield?

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            Ooh, a Short Magazine Lee Enfield would be fun. I’d love enough time and ammo to try the Mad Minute.

          • mancityRed6

            I like the way they look.
            my boy Ray had the guns, I’ve only ever had a shotgun (brand unknown and unremembered) and a shitty .45 pistol, but it had a 13 round clip.
            he had a shotgun with a folding stock that had “for police use only” stamped into it. the barrel was shit. absolutely. I don’t think we ever shot out of that.

          • commatoes

            Soo different from “spray and pray”.

          • commatoes

            Yeah, an RPG would be overkill.

        • Shanzgood

          I dont need to know how to shoot because this girl is tiny. If she breaks my daughter’s heart, I can crush her like an overripe tomato in my armpit.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            xD Let’s hope for the Best yet prepare for the Worst.

          • Shanzgood

            I think it’ll be ok. She admitted to me yesterday she has a crush on this girl, otherwise I would just be thinking they’re going out to celebrate her birthday. And I wouldn’t have spent ridiculous amounts of money on flowers and presents and balloons and a cake. Or be wondering whether it’s ok for her to spend the night tonight.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            How sweet. :)

          • commatoes

            That is a tough call. I grew up in a strict immigrant household. Not a single girlfriend ever met my parents because none of them were Korean and I was oldest so I had to set a good example for the young ‘uns. Staying over was a pipe dream.

            You want to be supportive with out coming across as overly permissive. I have no experience but you get the supportive hug or the affirmation of a pat on the shoulder.

          • Shanzgood

            She’s stayed over before, though, even as recently as a couple of eeeks ago, so I can hardly put the kibosh on it NOW because…why, anyway? They’re 16 and 17. And it’s not like either one will end up pregnant.

          • commatoes

            Yeah, I keep forgetting that my own dating experiences are no longer as common. All things considered, and considering the children of some of my parent’s friends, it is amazing that my siblings and I are reasonably well adjusted. That is barring the usual sibling drama.

        • commatoes
    • Shanzgood

      All good, they’re gone!

      Now I’m worried that the other girl might not know my daughter thinks of it as a date. As if the makeup and heels aren’t a clue.

      • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

        Oh, that might suck. *hoping for the best*

        • Shanzgood

          I’m still a little sad that my daughter and the new one we took in aren’t a thing. She’s so adorable, I can’t stand it.

          • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

            ~hugs~

            I know what you mean. My Baby is going out with a new guy, I liked the last one. But she’s in college, and didn’t get any fun in high school so Play On, I say.

    • commatoes

      When a friend’s first of three daughters (honestly there were puddles of drool whenever they walked down the halls) started dating he showed the boys some of his photos from the military.

    • natoslug

      I only did that once, and it was a prom date. It’s amazing how high some people jump when they hear the sound of a bolt slamming into place.

      • Shanzgood

        This girl already knows I’m a libtart softie.

    • Red Richmond

      Lucky my kiddo has a few more years before dating might start being a thing for him (I didn’t really date in high school, or college either for that matter). But when he does start dating, he’s go to have a few simple rules from me:

      1. Best, most gentlemanly manners at all times with both your date and their parents.

      2. No means no means no and I will kick your ass inside out if I hear anything suggesting that wasn’t the case.

      3. Show up on time for your dates.

  • Panika MCD

    I would like to formally call together this Committee for the Vagenda of Manocide to order.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/84621da11fa2c0fb49c53734a12cdbbe81122fd8bbbc0f180556f278031906d4.jpg

  • CO
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      I’d green light that script …

    • Needs more Juggalos.

  • Ezio

    I wonder how many people who have been attacking Colin Kaepernick and other black players who have protested police brutality by not standing for the national anthem were also the same people who were mourning the passing of Muhammad Ali last year, since they forget he took a stand against these issues himself.

    • stumpknocker

      remember it took decades before he was given respect.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Then, Trump banned Muhammad Ali’s own son from entering the country, only a few months after The Greatest had died. It was that same week of the travel ban that the mosque shooting happened in Québec City, all because some hoser French-Canadian equivalent of Dylan Roof had consumed too much Trump-media junk food and freaked out that Trudeau was going to flood the country with “jihadists.” Like Muhammad Ali’s son.

        America, you failed. Bigly.

    • Jonny On Maui

      The ones who protested Ali are the fathers of the Colin protesters…

    • commatoes

      I could not find the video, but I watched one recently contrasting the treatment of Kaepernick with other NFL players that have been charged/convicted of serious crimes up to felonies. These other players still play for their teams with no problems.

  • janecita

    So Melania finally escaped to Canada! Will she stay there?

    • Marion in Savannah

      If she has any branes at all, and if poor Barron is with her.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Melania’s into string theory?

        • Marion in Savannah

          [cackle] Actually I was using the Trump Speling Buk.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m just glad you got the joke!

        • Three Finger Salute

          Quantum fuddle-duddle…

    • Jonny On Maui

      Canada, what say you?

      • Canned Covfefe

        They are generous in taking in refugees..

        • commatoes

          in conversation with a good friend, we both decided that Canada should accept all of the DACA applicants. Considering their demographic breakdown, it would definitely benefit Canada.

          • Three Finger Salute

            And wipe out the crappers once and for all. (Literally with votes.)

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Ah, I’ll let her crash at my place. I haven’t been getting any lately.

    • stumpknocker

      at least she may have a chance to enjoy getting laid by a world leader.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I assume she’d like to, but depends on prenup clauses.

      • commatoes

        Prenups usually have clauses for child support that are commensurate with the predivorce standard of living.

        • yyyaz

          Courts aren’t real big on upholding clauses that punish children and reward asshole parents, fortunately.

    • bbayliss

      She’s got stories to tell.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Blackest Noobs

      wouldn’t it be a hoot if King James ran for Prez and beat Trumpie by a “REAL” landslide?

      • mancityRed6

        oh god, idiocracy
        President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
        http://www.toptenz.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Idiocracy-President.png

        • Blackest Noobs

          still think James would make a better Prez than that wealthy white kid shitbag who NEVER EARNED A GODDAMN THING IN HIS ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE.

          James came from nothing and made something of himself.

          Donald couldn’t do anything without Daddy’s money.

          • theCryptofishist

            Or Putin’s mo–, no, you’re right, Putin is Donnie’s daddy, now.

          • mancityRed6

            have you seen his bankruptcies? he couldn’t do a thing _with_ daddy’s money.

          • jesterpunk

            Sure he could, you have to be a real man of genius to bankrupt 3 casinos.

          • commatoes

            He lives in the shadow of the older brother that had the balls to walk away from it all to do his own thing. He feels inferior to a man that drank himself to death.

          • yyyaz

            I’ve read that the Dotard and Daddy Drumpf constantly called Fred Jr. a “taxi driver” to insult him. Fred Jr., was a commercial airline pilot.

          • Canned Covfefe

            There are no words

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist
  • IdiotsforPalin
    • mancityRed6

      that bastard almost, _almost_ shut down KU in ’08.

  • mancityRed6
    • commatoes

      Why do the Japanese and Koreans do prefab bands so well?

    • Lord Jim

      Babymetal is awesome.

  • stumpknocker

    i hope that one day Obama writes a book about trump.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      He won’t. He’s too classy.

      • stumpknocker

        oh but he is so good at wiping trump’s nose in his turds like you do a bad puppy.

    • Three Finger Salute

      If he wants Trump to read it, he should publish a coloring book.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Trump can’t color inside the lines.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    If I wasn’t too lazy and technically challenged to change my nym, “U BUM” would definitely be my first choice.

    • Panika MCD

      but then I couldn’t call you “punkin”….

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Friends are allowed to hang on to fond nicknames.

        • Panika MCD

          alright, alwaysdrunkinpublic.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Just rolls off the tongue, don’t it?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        BUMKIN!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Mysterious Poop Foam Causes Explosions on Hog Farms

    … in the pits that capture manure under factory-scale hog farms, a gray, bubbly substance began appearing at the surface of the fecal soup. The problem is menacing: As manure breaks down, it emits toxic gases like hydrogen sulfide and flammable ones like methane, and trapping these noxious fumes under a layer of foam can lead to sudden, disastrous releases and even explosions.

    • Three Finger Salute
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      And the rise of Trump and the deplorables is finally explained.

    • Lord Jim

      Exploding foamy pig shit. We had a story like this several months back.

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Sounds like Dump’s bathroom………

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Should be fired, but apparently the would-be oligarchs don’t care about depleting the country’s coffers for their own amusement.
    https://twitter.com/ddiamond/status/911690674248003584

    • jesterpunk
    • Left Coast Tom

      Why does Price need to fly anywhere for “the opioid crisis”? I thought West Virginia was in easy driving distance of Washington, DC.

      (also not clear how having Price fly anywhere addresses opioid addiction)

      • Lord Jim

        Maybe he’s personally delivering the naloxone to every OD’ing person in America? #yeahright

        • alpacapunchbowl

          Bet you ten bucks he’s too dim to work out how to administer the nasal spray.

      • shivaskeeper

        The excuse is that it’s for his safety. He has been a huge backer of killing the ACA and therefore killing people.

        He needs private jets so he doesn’t get attacked by people who don’t like his policy ideas.

        I have to say that if you are do worried about people attacking you for your ideas, it’s probably not the people who are wrong, it’s your ideas.

        • Left Coast Tom

          He’s not safe in Washington, DC? What the hell can he do about the opioid crisis by flying in a private plane to South Succotash, Ohio, that he can’t do from his desk in DC?

          • shivaskeeper

            DeVos and Price use the same time excuse. They are so hated by “the left” that they fear being attacked when they are in airports and such.

          • shivaskeeper

            2nd reply. Not a damn thing. As if he would be working on the opioid crisis at all.

          • Red Richmond

            Get his own opiates for cheaper?

    • alpacapunchbowl

      He’s not doing shit for the opioid crisis. If anything he’s visiting big pharma execs and wink-wink nudge-nudging them that their contributions are appreciated and that they should by all means continue to aggressively push the oxy and fentanyl. HHS is of the opinion, wink-wink, that all of that is quite AOK 👌

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    “I might have made a mistake, I’ll be honest,” Trump said, fully aware of how the race has drawn national attention as a proxy war between the political influence of the Trump and Bannon camps.
    “If Luther doesn’t win, they’re not going to say we picked up 25 points in a very short period of time. They’re going to say, ‘Donald Trump, the president of the United States, was unable to pull his candidate across the line. It is a terrible, terrible moment for Trump. This is total embarrassment.’”

    Well, every fucking thing you DO is a goddamn embarrassment, you bloviating orange
    turd. Why the fuck should this be any different?
    http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/09/didnt-ask-asked

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!

      IT’S ALL ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEE!

    • Lord Jim

      Some people would back a candidate to the end because they believed in them or at least because they were their party’s candidate (not applicable here, I realize), but Donnie only cares about backing a winning horse. It’s not how you play the game, it’s whether you win or lose.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Splunge!

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Well now we’re getting somewhere. No, wait. A new angle! In the snow, instead of the tree, I see Rock Hudson, and instead of the dog I see Doris Day and, gentlemen, Doris Day goes up to Rock Hudson and she kisses him. A love story. Intercourse Italian style. David Hemmings as a hippy Gestapo officer. Frontal nudity. A family picture. A comedy. And then when Doris Day’s kissed Rock Hudson she says something funny like…

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          I CAN”T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!! *rushes out*

        • wait! what?

          Hearing this in Eric Palin’s voice in my head makes this perfect.

  • I hereby present you with one Internet:

    https://twitter.com/TheRickWilson/status/911712059829694464

  • Left Coast Tom

    I’m enjoying a Zinfandel whose grapes, from 130 year old vines, were grown in Antioch, CA, next to a K-Mart.

    • gallbladder

      What about the holy hand grenades?

      • Left Coast Tom

        Aisle 7, maybe?

        • gallbladder

          I’ll check…

    • wait! what?

      White Zinfandel?

      • Left Coast Tom

        Red. Though at least a couple of my friends insist that “white zin” may have helped save California’s older Zinfandel vineyards by providing market demand until the industry was able to adequately promote the red wine.

        The grape, by the way, originates in Croatia.

        • wait! what?

          White Zin was a necessary evil, because of it we can freely enjoy Turley, Illusions, Lange Twins…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      Me also too, just now.

    • Panika MCD

      this completely supports my theory about the facial hair thief.

      • jesterpunk

        Especially after his posts today.

        • Shanzgood

          Ugh. More?

        • Panika MCD

          he was back today?

          • jesterpunk

            Yep with 2 new accounts in the first post from today. He has new legal theories and threatened to go to the FBI. Dok told him to go for it and share the video.

          • Panika MCD

            that would be hilarious.

          • Shanzgood

            Dang, I missed it!

          • Panika MCD

            but, really, did you miss anything?

          • Shanzgood

            Yes. I like watching him get his ass handed to him.

            Yes, I should be a better person.

          • Panika MCD

            there, there. there will be other trolls to play with. trolls that have their own facial hair! trolls with jewels in their belly buttons even!

          • jesterpunk

            The posts are still there, its new person and say what? in the top ten thread.

          • Panika MCD

            if we’re going to be investigated by the FBI for hurting Chris Cillizza’s feefees, we should probably pick gang nicknames.

          • jesterpunk

            You’re not in the gang for some reason.

          • Panika MCD
          • jesterpunk

            Sorry Panika, I am at the bottom of the list now. Not sure how I got demoted from the leader and you got kicked out.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Clearly no one ever explained to him that when you treat others with respect and kindness, you gain access to these things called “friends”.

          • Juan de Fuca

            I’ve always thought of myself as one of those people who loathes cliques. Or I just find somebody within the clique with a quick wit and healthy sense of humor and drags them away to form a new clique where we make fun of the people in that other clique, but besides the point.

            I think he’s just got some serious issues going on.

          • Left Coast Tom

            Lordy, I hope there are tapes…

          • jesterpunk

            I do too, that would be a DSFB post all by itself.

          • VeronicaRHorn

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !sk212d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleNetJobsSetWorkFromHome/more/cash ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sk212l..,.

          • SharonRClark

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !sl353d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineSourceEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sl353l..,..

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Red Richmond

      You’d think after the first couple times there would be enough body grease on the glass he’d stop mistaking it for open air.

  • gallbladder
  • mancityRed6
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Shanzgood

      I second that HAHAHAHA as s mom who has let a het boy friend of my daughter’s stay over because SHE isn’t interested in HIM!

      • OutOfOrbit

        well you little … …

        • Shanzgood

          WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TIRE FIRES?!

          • Panika MCD
          • wait! what?

            …that’s not how they do it on the Discovery Channel…

          • commatoes

            That’s a deleted scene from Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom… Marlin Perkins narrates.

          • wait! what?

            Jim Fowler or GTFO!

          • commatoes

            Imagine Marlin uttering the words “back and forth… back and forth…” Comedy will ensue.

    • SisterArtemis

      Oh, mom, you kidder you!

  • Juan de Fuca

    While all we get is the occasional drip of information re. how far the Russian’s actually went to hack our election, I still believe these folks may have been onto something:

    Two respected statisticians have called for a recount of some votes cast in the US election to rule out the possibility that the outcome was artificially manipulated.
    Since Donald Trump surged to victory, claims of foreign manipulation and the hacking of ballot-counting computers to skew the results have been rife.
    The assertions are backed up by the US Department of Homeland Security and the NSA, who have both implicated Russian hackers as being behind hacks relating to the election[…]

    MIT cryptographer Ron Rivest and Berkeley statistician Philip Stark say votes should be audited in a small number of jurisdictions in battleground states to check the veracity of the overall result which handed Mr Trump the White House.
    In an article in USA Today, they say some of the crucial swing states had little means of defending against attacks, and that relatively few successful hacks could have been enough to change the outcome of the election.

    But I’m not a conspiracy theorist type of guy so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see while this dipshit marches us closer to war in N. Korea, destroys any semblance of an affordable healthcare coverage system and continues dividing this nation like no other president in my lifetime.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-election-statisticians-vote-audit-hacking-donald-trump-hillary-clinton-a7434516.html

    • Left Coast Tom

      Ron Rivest would be the “R” in “RSA”. He’s not someone I’d ignore.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Mr Rivest is also a world class statistician.

      • Juan de Fuca

        He’s certainly influential in the security industry. I mean, considering that RSA is a universally accepted standard for key encryption systems.

    • mancityRed6
      • bbayliss

        Fuck kansas

        • mancityRed6

          I try baby, but Kansas don’t want my stuff.
          we’re just “good friends”

          • bbayliss

            And Nebraska smells funny.

          • Panika MCD

            we don’t discriminate based on dietary regimes unless it jumps on the table and shows us its butthole while we’re eating.

        • Shanzgood

          No, thanks. We’re busy un-fucking ourselves after Brownback and don’t need that!

          • LadyLaz

            Are you in Kansas?

          • Shanzgood

            Yup. Born and halfway raised, came back for college then got married after that and moved between the U.K. and SEattle before finally coming back 14 I really so years ago so my kids could have a nice place to be “from” like me. I didn’t know what a shitshow it was going to turn into.

          • commatoes

            Brownback… I am soooo sorry.

        • Panika MCD

          we don’t fuck whole states. it’s just not a good idea. it involves a lot of road rash on your scrotum.

    • bbayliss

      Three swing states lost by 1% each?
      Correlation is not causation, but C’mon.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Especially as both pre-election polls and exit polls day of showed Clinton winning.

    • shivaskeeper

      IDK. The hacking and general fuckery by the Russians was bad, but I would also suspect the machines themselves from the manufacturer. RWNJs to a one. The problem is no one gets to see the machine code to compare what is on the machine vice what should be on the machine.

  • Ezio
    • Three Finger Salute

      Now you’re messin’ with a…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2v-GlExi4us

      • mancityRed6

        I paused my youtube for this

      • natoslug

        Damned kids! GET OFF MAH LAWWWWWN!!! I’m probably dating myself here, but Nazareth’s the first band I think of for a “Son of a Bitch” song.

        https://youtu.be/kyXz6eMCj2k

      • natoslug

        Just started listening to the vid you have linked — I could be wrong, but it sounds like the YT uploader mistook Nazareth for AC/DC.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Isn’t that Nazareth?

        • wait! what?

          Yes.

  • mancityRed6
  • Jennifer R

    Cider for breakfast!

    Or does the mug of coffee and the cheese stick I had hours ago count?

    • mancityRed6

      hell, I had coffee and whiskey about 15 hours ago.

      • Parakeetist

        What’s wrong with that?

        • Jonny On Maui

          He stopped…

          • mancityRed6

            ha! like I would

          • Jonny On Maui

            I knew that I could count on you!

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      I read that as “cyanide for breakfast” and thought, well, that’s one solution!

    • shivaskeeper

      Breakfast is usually a coffee and a cigarette. You got me beat there.

  • Jennifer R
    • jesterpunk

      LOCK HIM UP!!! LOCK HIM UP!!!

      https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/227

      • gallbladder

        Just let me fire the first tranquilizer dart, pretty please!

        • Jonny On Maui

          Be sure to dull the pointy end…

          • gallbladder

            (scrapes dart on sidewalk)

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Don’t clean it….

      • Panika MCD

        seems to be the sentiment from the past two administrations’ lawyers.

      • alpacapunchbowl

        This for real happened? I thought Darth Cheeto and Goodell were bffs?

    • CO

      He already lost with the USFL.

    • OutOfOrbit

      the owners

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      Does anyone else find it frightening that this is Not A Tweet? Like, he’s figured out how to work the Big Boy machines and put out press releases by himself?

  • bookish

    https://apple.news/Al-SMGHhJS3WMB5vkt4yNdQ

    Our intelligence community assessment did, I think, serve to cast doubt on the legitimacy of his victory in the election,” Clapper said on CNN’s “Erin Burnett Out Front.”

    Clapper said he disclosed the information to the President during a briefing on the assessment in January, and that particular aspect seemed to concern Trump the most.

    “I think that transcends, unfortunately, the real concern here, which is Russian interference in our political process, which by the way is going to continue,” Clapper said.

  • CO

    Barney Frank going after purity ponies that protested Pelosi.
    https://youtu.be/EQ3YB2fdntc?t=4m38s

    • Parakeetist

      Go Barney!

      • gallbladder

        Love Barney.

        • CO

          A sane progressive voice just like when there was Wellstone and now Warren.

          • Panika MCD

            my favorite quote from him is still when that RWNJ rag writer asked him if the repeal of DADT would be a problem when it came to showers and he was all, “Look, we don’t get ourselves drycleaned!” I’m pretty sure the guy who was “just asking ????s” had no idea Barney Frank was gay when he asked.

  • Panika MCD
    • Yes, they did.

      At least, that makes more sense than them voting for him in the expectation that he might actually do anything constructive.

  • Marla

    This is really nothing new.

    If you listen to the CyberWire podcast, they have been talking about this for months and how such attacks are increasing AND how the American government has continued to ignore them.

  • Jennifer R

    I am bored, who wants to come over and play my copy of Dark Souls the board game?

    • Jonny On Maui

      I will!

    • Panika MCD

      I’m going to finish this beer and head home. walk the Jazz Pants. and then re-read The End of the Alphabet by Claudia Rankine and The Pink Institution by Selah Saterstrom. make some poem things.

    • OutOfOrbit

      oh no you don’t me not fallin for that one again

      • Shanzgood

        She just wants to show you her etchings!

        • OutOfOrbit

          her etchings? i thought they were yours!

          • Shanzgood

            I can’t even draw a stick man. I could play piano, though.

        • AJ Milne

          It’s always seemed to me if one actually had etchings they wanted to show people, this could get incredibly complicated.

          (… No, as you can see, I, um, collect etchings… So… How do you like them?

          … also, last week, when I asked you up for coffee, it was just that I’d got a new Aeropress… We, um, didn’t as far as the kitchen, and no complaints, that was fun! Anyway, the offer still stands.)

  • ltmcdies

    Good afternoon, Wonketeers.

    These two gentlemen would like your attention

    https://twitter.com/JustinTrudeau/status/911719668980822017

    Thought you’d like a break from Twitler and today’s rant

    • Shanzgood

      I’ll take the brunette. I’ve had enough ginger.

      • OutOfOrbit

        down girl, DOWN!

        • Shanzgood

          Ok ok! I have a tall, dark, and handsome one already!

      • I was just thinking, “Maybe I need a little more color in my life.”

      • Rick Hill

        Oh, Bob Rammit! This is the opposite end of people saying things about how unattractive Madeline Albright or Janet Reno were regardless of how they did their jobs. Keep it in yer pants, people! (Well, put them on and then keep it in there.)

        • Shanzgood

          Pft. Men don’t have that problem.

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        I’ll take both while y’all are squabbling. They need buzz cuts though.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      I WANT IN ON THAT SAMMICH!!!!!!!

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        Oh, my. Gasp. I feel faint.

    • Rick Hill
      • ltmcdies

        I feel so fucking old right now….I probably saw that pic when it was first published

    • Three Finger Salute

      I’m guessing that’s JT and Harry. Melania-bot just got the fantasy threesum upgrade installed in her computer brain.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Look at the first responses and tell me Soros is the one paying for protests.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/911718138747727872

    • Jonny On Maui

      He really has no idea how any of this works.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      Damn it! I git sucked right into that. Fucking Twitter

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Trump: Black man FOLLOW MY ORDERS.

    • mancityRed6

      has anyone told him that he could fire Mueller yet?

    • AJ Milne

      If Trump had any respect for his country, he’d resign.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Hej, Robbertjan, does this sort of thing ever happen in Europe? Where the hooligan is the leader of a nation?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Berlusconi would come to mind.

  • Panika MCD
    • gallbladder

      Man, when you start losing Cheney and W’s crew, you KNOW you’re fucking up big time.

      • Lord Jim

        Painter is a different kind of Republican. He’s pro-choice and pro-marriage-equality. And he’s been on Trump like stink on shit since before he was inaugurated.

    • mancityRed6

      he had an ethics lawyer? was he drunk the whole time?

      • Panika MCD

        excrement. he was on cocaine the whole time.

        but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have lawyers.

        • mancityRed6

          libels, I’ve done coke once. it didn’t make me do that kind of shit.

    • Lord Jim

      Painter has said many times “This is not about Left and Right, this is about right and wrong.”

  • stumpknocker

    the Cocks pulled it off with 11 seconds to go in the game, fat redneck dancing through the house, not a pretty picture.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-AP6k5a-Tg

    • mancityRed6

      as a KU fan, I’m waiting for basketball to start.
      *grumbles* go and fire the best coach they’ve ever had

      • stumpknocker

        i’m sure most will scratch their heads with my post, only in south carolina will you see a football team named THE COCKS!

        • mancityRed6

          gamecocks are good, I don’t knock ’em.

          • stumpknocker

            something about 80000 bible thumpers screaming go cocks is kinda cool.

          • mancityRed6

            kinda? jayhawk used to be a slur

          • stumpknocker

            and one of my favorite bands

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlXvkl6kYME

    • wait! what?

      I picked the wrong day to stop doing ecstasy…

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    I just no longer quite believe that Donald and the Republicans won last year. I just no longer trust the whole narrative that says they did, or all those weeks and months of horrible journalism from horrible journalists about how Donald’s poor, oppressed voters had been ignored, and how we should all wear a hair shirt (maybe made of creepy orange wig hair like Donald’s) and beat our breasts in an act of contrition for being so mean and not nice to a bunch of white rural bigots who–the press kept assuring us–were the real deal, unlike all us coastal elitists (NB: I may be an elitist, but I’m not coastal).

    I truly am beginning to believe that the real deal actually was hackers, not necessarily Russian, by the way, because we grow plenty of seditious little shits right here at home–abetted here and there by Republican Secretaries of State plus Robert Mercer and Peter Thiel, who know a thing or two about technology–switching just enough votes in just enough counties to give us Donald in the Oval Office, Melania in Michelle’s garden, and Mitch fucking up the universe over there in the US Senate.

    There was a time when this seemed way too crazy to be possible. That time is long gone.

    • Professor Fate

      Yes this. The trouble is that nobody but nobody is prepared to actually deal with this if turns out to be true.

      • Mormos

        the problem is we have no legal mechanism to deal w/ fraudulent elections other than the line of succesion.

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

      The bastards only had to switch less than 100K votes in 3 states to give the electoral win to the bad guys. I’d call that plausible.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        True masterminds, if they knew in adance which three states needed those 100k votes.

        • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

          Trump hired all the best psychics.

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      All of the above. And a lot of really fucking stupid failed humans. I mean, really, to actually believe the media line about Hillary’s unpopularity and character issues requires real fucking stupidity. And the moral degeneracy of high income what people who voted for the Thing.
      Don’t forget the left campaigning against Hillary two days before the election, also too.

      Hillary Clinton’s Silence on Standing Rock Is a Moral Mistake—and a Political One
      One way Clinton could convince Bernie Sanders’s supporters she deserves their vote: stand with Standing Rock.
      By Evelyn Nieves NOVEMBER 6, 2016

      https://www.thenation.com/article/hillary-clintons-silence-on-standing-rock-is-a-moral-mistake-and-a-political-one/

      • Lord Jim

        It’s pretty clear that nothing she could do would ever be right, because the fucking racist shits wanted to be normalized and the uberleft wanted somebody who would chant “revolution” and all the other magic words with them. I’m reading What Happened and have peeked into Hard Choices. Even factoring in our human tendency to self-flattery, HRC comes across as decent, compassionate, brilliant, and unbelievably driven. Except nobody wants to hear that – which is the essence of bigotry.

        • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

          I’m reading Susan Bardo, The destruction of Hillary Clinton. It really is sickening. I have What happened also, so I am going to keep being angry for awhile.

          LGM, which is usually not shit, has a post praising Bernie’s Great Foreign Policy Speech to the skies. Guess what? It’s Obama’s foreign policy. He even has the fucking gall to refer to the importance of global trade.
          http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/09/sanders-provide-blueprint-progressive-foreign-policy

          • Lord Jim

            Thanks for the book mention. I’ve added it it to the wishlist.

    • Rick Hill

      The only way any action would be taken is if it were Dems who were helped. Our democracy was on the ropes, this is the end of it.

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      They did have robocalls targeting specific counties, also.

    • aktlib101

      Agree. Most likely the Shitgibbon and his representatives along with at least a significant fraction of the R_turdican party colluded with the Russians to steal the election. Add gerrymandering, voter suppression, stealing a Supreme Court seat, etc. And they did. Why? Oh, Russians are not coming. What they all want is money (and power), for themselves and for their ultra-rich donors. Divide the effing world between haves and haves not, a new aristocracy/oligarchy. Nobles and paupers, a rerun of the Medieval Times. Democracy? Pffffft. We, the Russkies and the Chinese, the most income-unequal (developed) countries in the world.
      We. Somehow. Have. To. Get. Money. Out. Of. The. Ultra-rich’ hands (progressive taxes) and out of politics. Or, we are fucked.

      • Three Finger Salute

        We have to stop greed or we’re fucked.

        So…….. we’re fucked.

        https://media.giphy.com/media/l1J3A70hF2PUEh7pu/giphy.gif

        Bye democracy, nice knowing ya.

        • aktlib101

          Greed is genetically programmed, I suppose. However, we can implement smart laws, that do not allow anyone to accumulate obscene wealth to sway the politicians and/or control the lives of others

  • mancityRed6

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bt4Xx3vX3Lg
    just don’t watch it, it’s bad.
    just listen.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Trumputinia, Trumputinia, Trumputinia !!!!

  • Panika MCD

    states that can go fuck themselves:

    constipation
    ignorance
    binary perception
    [add your own]

    if you put a geographic region on here, you’re asking for it.

    • mancityRed6

      Kansas?

      • Panika MCD

        where are you again so that I can tell you exactly how terrible it is?

        http://i1.kym-cdn.com/profiles/icons/big/000/151/713/Tulio.gif

        • shivaskeeper

          He’s in Kansas.

          • OutOfOrbit

            kansass blowls cuz iowasux

        • mancityRed6

          66062

          • Panika MCD

            okay, you can make fun of your own state.

          • mancityRed6

            oh, then hell, Missouri. I can almost see it from here.
            plus that 28 years there didn’t phase me at all
            *murderface*

          • Panika MCD

            every state has the one that they pick on. is KS’s MO? TX’s is Yokelhoma.

          • mancityRed6

            did you know the inventor of the toothbrush was from Arkansas?
            otherwise it would be known as a teethbrush.

          • Panika MCD

            hey, stick to your own state! just because Arkansas has Kansas all up in it doesn’t mean that you get to make fun of it.

          • mancityRed6

            it’s another “ass” state.

          • Panika MCD

            there are no ass states. there are only states of ass.

          • mancityRed6

            the zen of ass. okay.

          • Rasilom

            You know why Texas hasnt slid into the gulf? Oklahoma sucks so bad.

            I lived in OK. I feel justified.

          • Panika MCD

            you are justified…but just barely.

          • shivaskeeper

            Where can’t you see from Kansas? It’s nothing but horizon in all directions.

        • mancityRed6

          and I just have to step outside, thanks.

      • OutOfOrbit

        you were warned

        • Panika MCD

          he made fun of his own state. he’ll have the better jokes about it.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Emergency

      • OutOfOrbit

        hello. what is your emergency this is a rec’rec’rec’rec

    • shivaskeeper

      Being incurious.

      Binary perception probably shouldn’t be there. There are times when there are only two sides, or a yes or no answer.

      Unless I’m misunderstanding what you mean.

      • Panika MCD

        Nazis or quarterbacks?

        • shivaskeeper

          Nazis is one situation where there is only a binary.

          • Panika MCD

            but you have so many options for how to deal with Nazis. so the binary world view doesn’t really work when it comes to step 2.

          • shivaskeeper

            Step one is the important one though. Too many people get it wrong by trying to make it non-binary.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s not that there aren’t binary choices. it’s that not all choices are binary and you can’t get fixed in the notion that they are.

          • shivaskeeper

            Of course they aren’t. I wasn’t trying to say they were.

            I can see where someone fixated on binary choices only should be on the list.

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      Running out of half and half?

      • Panika MCD

        pretty bad. not as bad as running out of booze.

        • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

          Well, is my booze nowadays, so yes.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i donut know what this binary thing is but sure sounds mathy

      • Panika MCD

        01111001 01100101 01110011

        • OutOfOrbit

          iz pooter fap-fap music?

          • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

            yaaaaaaaaass

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        Donut is, binary state of donut is et and not et. See Schrödinger. Is not metastable. Nooo false vacuum of donut. I said, nooo!

        • OutOfOrbit

          now i understan’it

    • Lord Jim

      self-superiority

    • Mormos

      poverty

    • HorseChestnut

      panic

  • thewalkindude
    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Daaawww…she thinks she’s a Goldman Sachs banker!

  • mancityRed6
  • Raan

    “I ever tell you about the time I went to see Clerks 2 and there was a fuckin’ infant baby in the audience?”
    “I think you mentioned this in another video, but yeah.”
    “I’m gonna go for it again. […] So I’m at Clerks 2, which if you haven’t noticed, if you don’t know this, it’s a, it’s a story about fucking donkeys, and having sex with donkeys.”
    “And shit getting plastered on your face.”
    “And mayo getting in girl’s cooches. And Rosario Dawson’s super hot. So hot. Anyway, so I go down there with my friend, and this lady, and this is like an eleven PM fuckin’ showing on a Friday. Lady’s there, and her fuckin’, like, six month old baby starts crying. And somebody just yells out ‘Yo, turn off your baby!’. And then my friend just yells out ‘Nah man, just put the baby on vibrate!’.” – Pat and Matt

    • mancityRed6

      best movie time ever was Fear and Loathing, and we were two of maybe three people. I walked out of that theater with a contact high.

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        I had to go smoke a cigarette after the swirling carpet scene.

        • mancityRed6

          most of that movie was “oh my god, I’ve done that”

    • commatoes

      Hearing her utter “Ass to mouth” reaffirmed my hetero male identity.

  • Rick Hill

    Is this being the thread that is open? Not that I really care but I need an audience. I crave an audience and if no one’s here then what’s the point?

    • mancityRed6

      *crickets*

      • Rick Hill

        And here I was, all set to make my barbaric “Yop”. Guess it’ll have to wait.

        • Jennifer R

          A very good move for a very good class.

      • commatoes

        Better with the visual…

        https://youtu.be/nDS3B65W6wA

    • Rasilom

      Sorry, nobodys home. We all went out for sushi and beer.

      • Jennifer R

        I had a burrito and cider!

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Lasagna and wine.
          And more wine.

        • Panika MCD
          • Rasilom

            Dang, now I want tacos!

          • commatoes

            There is a time when you don’t want tacos?

            I had some leftover Indian/Mexican fusion chicken in a flour tortilla. I think it still counts.

          • Red Richmond

            I am stealing that for my “seizure induction” folder.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Salad and wine and triple chocolate cake.

    • Jennifer R

      Yeah attention is nice. Fetlife gives it sometimes.

      • mancityRed6

        not for me

        • Jennifer R

          Well yeah I identify as female so YMMV.

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, I get that on the playstation when I played online.

          • Jennifer R

            I mean I also show tits and vag so that might help too.

          • mancityRed6

            *looks*
            damn

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      But what if you’re not real? Then where would that put us?

      • mancityRed6

        dude. don’t go meta on us.

        • Panika MCD

          meta is the worst state.

          • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

            What about a metastable state?

          • Panika MCD

            bad. but not as bad as meta.

          • Three Finger Salute

            I never meta dater I didn’t like.

          • Panika MCD

            metadating is also known as masturdating.

          • Rick Hill

            Doing that makes your palms grow hair

          • Incoming Ham

            I thought that was Alabama.

          • Panika MCD

            no. but Hama was second.

      • Rick Hill

        No, no. I’M real. You’re all ghosts in the machine. But, you’re pretty substantial ghosts and sometimes kinda smert so, I’ll take that.

    • Panika MCD
  • mancityRed6

    dammit, I’m in a good rut
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPjkWcNg9DU

    • HorseChestnut

      I knew a guy who sang in a Motörhead cover band. He said the secret to doing Lemmy is you pretend you have lockjaw.

    • Incoming Ham

      Lemmy is in this video. Tis a mystery to me.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s05jcrJw0as

  • mancityRed6
  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Milo’s Berkeley’s shitfest is officially cancelled.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It was never officially on.
      Can the world stop paying attention to him now?

  • Rick Hill

    Anyone barbequing right now? Did you make a little extra? Acause, I could use some, I’ve been driving around the last few days, you can smell it everwhere and I need some. Anyhoo, if you’ve got extra, post it here so I can have a taste, if you would.

    • Rick Hill

      Also, in case anyone was concerned, pork, chicken, rutabaga…whatever. I’m pretty open minded.

    • Jennifer R

      If you are near sacramento I could make you a fancy salad with walnuts and pear, and some tatertots.

      • SisterArtemis

        Drizzle some BBQ sauce on it, just to make Rick happy, ok?

        • Rick Hill

          Crisp, not really burnt

    • Juan de Fuca

      I’ve been smoking a bacon wrapped pork tenderloin for the past hour or so and am getting ready to prepare the rosemary and lemon new potatoes for roasting.

      It smells pretty good here.

      • Rick Hill

        Mmmmm…sounds good. Just burn it some and throw some ketchup on it and post away!

        • Juan de Fuca

          C’mon over, Rick!

          • Rick Hill

            *Largely smiling*

            Thanks.

    • Me not sure

      Now you’ve done it. I’m so wanting barbecue, and wife has to lay off of smoked meats for cancer Dr. reasons. It’s a cruel disease. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9e7bdaad6770f5b784d9daba888f2a4e4ecaa41c8f12b50b57c77eb0db53fcf8.jpg

      • commatoes

        Tandoor or satay an option?

      • Rick Hill

        Tons of vitamin D, bayubee. For her, not you

  • Apparently, Donald Trump doesn’t realize what happens when one messes with a son of a bitch. . .

    https://youtu.be/smiMQcAbqkA

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    yay!

    I think I finally answered the question (of a complicated nature) I was given at work.

    I can waltz in there on Tuesday and whip me up a wicked ass memo.

    Yes, this is my life. It’s not jet setting to hot clubs with hot women, but I like it.
    ; )

    • gallbladder

      Will you get a cookie?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        If I didn’t get one for spotting a typo in a state law passed by both houses and signed by the governor, that could have been a fight in court, i won’t get one for this.

        Hopefully I’ll get me a job though.
        : D

        • gallbladder

          If you need letters of commendation, we’re here.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            luckily apparently my teachers, or at least one of them, thinks very highly of me.

            Also, my boss at the internship introduced me to a lower level attorney I’m working with on this project as an “invaluable asset,” although – to borrow a joke I made this week – she may have said unvaluable asshat.

          • Doug Langley

            Get phone and email of teacher. Good references are a must.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ayup. She’s been on my resume since late last year.
            (She also happens to work in the same building as I do, as we’re both government offices.)

          • Jonny On Maui

            “The Fuzzy Pink Bunny Slippers think I’m great!”

            That’s not gonna work…

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          it’s was a bitch of a typo too. It said, “This section only refers to section [x] of [a certain set of laws].”

          Except somebody put [y] instead of [x]. Yeah, it’s obvious what the lege meant, and yeah, we would have won that argument in court and on appeal, but I’d rather we didn’t have to go through that process – so they’re gonna have to fix it.

          Problem is our lege meets every other year, so it won’t happen till 2019.

    • Me not sure
      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        lol – if only you know about this project (it has to deal with asshats skipping court appearances they SWORE they’d go to.)

        I was getting kind of evil about it for awhile, cause the law requires we have to go through this pain in the ass process, just guess they won’t appear or accept a certified letter. It seemed really unfair and still kinda is, but I found a solution that’s workable (but still overly complicated).

      • Three Finger Salute

        lol, troll Canuck PM wannabe who bankrupted Broderbund sez wut?

      • Raan

        You know it’s a good magazine when front page stories contradict each other.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          i didn’t even notice that.

          “Blah blah blah”
          By Kevin O’ Leary

          “Kevin O’ Learly is wrong.”

          I love it.

          • Three Finger Salute

            “Justin sucks! Look at me! Give me money! I’ll Make Canada Great Again!”

            “Kevin O’Leary is wrong.”

            #I’mOot

        • commatoes

          Shows that the editors are not tolerant of BJ fluff pieces.

    • Doug Langley

      Yay!!

      So when does the jet setting stuff start?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        rofl – in the alternative universe where i became a hotshot contracts lawyer.

        Did I tell you the story from school? There was a case, Texaco and Pennzoil, contract dispute, blah blah blah, point is this famous legend of an old school TX attorney won $23 BILLION in 2017 dollars for his clients and took home a fee of $759 MILLION in 2017 dollars.

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          I should have specified, this was in mid-1980’s dollars, hence the inflation. But still, that had to be a SHIT TON of money in 1984.

        • Doug Langley

          But that’s the one in a million, I’m sure. We all hear the incredible cases, but the normal stuff is much more mundane. Still, if going into law doesn’t make you comfortably well off, you’re doing it wrong.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            yes and no. Basically Texaco blew that one. They had fancy Newww York CITY! lawyers who brought their D game and got their asses handed to them for essentially not even trying.

        • commatoes

          I am sure the paralegals got a bit ‘o that pie.

          *wink*

    • shivaskeeper

      Very good. Not the last sentence obvs, but very good nonetheless.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        thanks buddy. I’m having a blast.

  • CO

    Some of their trolls on NPR sites have posted about him too. He seems to have kicked a hornet’s nest.

    https://twitter.com/RVAwonk/status/910998985812398081

    • commatoes

      When the voice of god speaks….

  • SisterArtemis
  • mancityRed6
  • Rick Hill

    So, if I call for an Uber, is there any chance they’ll unload the tools from the back of my truck if I ask them?

    • Panika MCD

      fuck LUber.

      • Rick Hill

        Yeah but if they’l offload all my tools…

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          time for a craigslist ad.

          • commatoes

            In the old days of supermarket bulletin board ads, I saw a posting with rent-a-boy in big letters. I tried very hard for my brain not to go to the bad place.

          • Rick Hill

            Well, I don’t want someone I’ll have to actually pay…

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      You seem to keep thinking about doing things while typing on the internets.

      • Lord Jim

        It’s like he doesn’t even care about us all. *sob*

        • Rick Hill

          Well, not you. I mean I care about you but capt howdy is mean

          • Lord Jim

            XD

    • capnkrunch

      Possibly? Some (a majority even) of drivers are very service oriented and would probably do it if you gave them a bit of a tip. Others just don’t give a fuck.

    • Left Coast Tom

      No, but according to the ads if you call 1-800-got-junk and point at the tools they’ll haul the tools away and dispose of them.

  • Fartknocker

    Was some form of rapture supposed to happen today besides Cheetos Mussolini tweeting the start of Work War III?

    • mancityRed6

      only the good people were left behind

      • Fartknocker

        That must be why my tacos are so good.

        • mancityRed6

          I’ll admit to not going to the bell place, but, are they ever truly bad?
          (don’t answer that)

          • commatoes

            Depends on the degree of chemical enhancement.

          • mancityRed6

            true. and is the meat animal or…?

          • commatoes

            Some things should remain a known unknown.

    • jesterpunk

      It was cancelled, not enough people RSVPed.

      • Raan

        Cancelled due to general disinterest.

        Just like Milo’s bullshit.

    • shivaskeeper

      If being collided into by a hidden planet is a rapture, then yes.

      Apparently it did not happen. Again.

      • Doug Langley

        The hidden planet suddenly remember an important appointment and couldn’t make it.

        • commatoes

          Fuck we got ghosted by an entire planet.

          Damn you Trump.

          *waves clenched fist in the air*

        • shivaskeeper

          It was hidden. So no one could see it. The only way to prove it was there at all was with biblical numerology.

          The real bonus, of course, was if we were hit by an invisible planet the asshats would be right but since we weren’t they can still be right by claiming their prayers stopped it from happening.

          • Rasilom

            They can say what they want. They still a group of A Idiots.

          • shivaskeeper

            Of course they are. Now if only these god-bothering fucks would follow the biblical proscription for dealing with false prophets, we would all be better off.

          • Rasilom

            Ramen!!

  • capnkrunch

    This thread is the open one I guess? Anyways,

    Fun with English quiz (no cheating):

    1. Can you figure out what these sentences mean?

    a. Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
    b. Police police police police police police.
    Bonus fun/hint: sentences that are just the word “police” repeated any number of times are always grammatically correct as long as there are two or more. However, when it’s greater than 4 the even numbered sentences make more sense.

    2. Add the proper punctuation:

    a. James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher
    b. That that is is that that is not is not is that it it is

    2a can actually be 3 different phrases, all grammatically correct, depending on the punctuation. For extra credit find the other two.

    Remember, NO CHEATING! Check your answers on Wikipedia.

    • Raan

      Fuck this blender of a language.

    • mancityRed6

      it’s always surprising that they pronounce this town’s name correctly
      https://www.cityoflacygne.org/sites/cityoflacygne.org/files/styles/proo-banner2/public/Tower.jpg?itok=EdGUN-pE

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Nice little lake they have there. My dad took me fishing there back in the day.

        La Seen.

        • mancityRed6

          I grew up close enough that the pronunciation wasn’t a big deal. it was the first ex who knew some French who was surprised.

      • commatoes

        The origin of the English word “cygnet”. So use French pronunciation?

        Edit: Forgot my Linguistics, Norman French uses a hard “c” at the beginning of words like the Norman origins of “cavalier” and “cap”.

        • mancityRed6

          yep

    • Three Finger Salute

      1a means we’re back to the Cusack romcoms thread from a couple weeks ago.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0Sxxibos-I

    • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

      Words is hard.

    • LosFelizGuy

      Reading that really harshed my buzz.

    • Jennifer R

      1a. Buffalo is an animal, a place, and a verb that means to harass. I am drunk so fuck you
      1b. Police is both a verb and a noun so you can police the police, or the police can police the police, but once you hit 4 or more it really just makes sense for the police police to police the police.
      2a. James; while John had had, had had, had had, had had, had had, had a better effect on the teacher (this is so wrong but I am kinda really drunk now so again)
      2b. That, that is, is; that that is not, is not; is that that? is it.

      • capnkrunch

        Gold star and a smiley face sticker for you!

        • Jennifer R

          :toot:
          :2bong:
          :catdrugs:

        • Jennifer R

          What should 2a be anyway, I really winged it and when I sober up I will want to know.

          • capnkrunch

            It’s really a terrible example sentence because it uses quotes and you can pretty much put whatever you want in a quote and call it grammatically correct. The right answer is:

            James, while John had had “had”, had had “had had”; “had had” had had a better effect on the teacher.

      • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

        The police police police are policing the police police?

    • commatoes

      The English language be tons ‘o fun. The OED definition of “set”.

      This “immense” three-letter word has some 430 senses, requiring a
      60,000-word definition spread over 24 pages in the tiny print of the
      published dictionary or 221 pages in PDF form. – The Business Insider

    • Jamoche

      http://ncf.idallen.com/english.html

      Dearest creature in creation
      Studying English pronunciation,
      I will teach you in my verse
      Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

      I will keep you, Susy, busy,
      Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
      Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear;
      Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

      And more, but that’s as much html as I’m willing to edit.

  • Raan
  • I have an unhealthy love for Josh Lyman. I don’t think it will ever fade

  • penny stock

    Um, who’s buying stock in ACME Paper Ballot Co.?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Are the paper ballots available online?

      • bupkus231

        I got my absentee ballot from MD last year delivered to me online.

        When I printed it out, it became a paper ballot, didn’t it? I still had to mark it up and mail it back, but….

  • wobbly

    I tried to donate to you via the PayPal labyrinth and was unsuccessful.

    I’d like to give you $10.00, once, and no more. I am trying to live on my Social and have some fun in the meantime, but it is a struggle. Your site has helped, and I’d like to contribute, but can’t seem to push the right buttons?

    My e-mail address is anna_jack@ yahoo.com. Perhaps you could e-mail me a mailing address, so I can mail you the ten bucks?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Edit your comment and delete the email because spammers. Copy this address down. It’s somewhere here in the website but someone else commented it to me, and I saved it for future reference.

      Wonkette
      PO Box 8765
      Missoula MT 59807

      Also: note that the staff only want you to donate if you absolutely can afford to. They’re good people that way. If now is not a good time, that’s OK.

    • SisterArtemis

      This is their mailing address:
      Wonkette
      PO Box 8765,
      Missoula, MT, 59807

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Wonkette Editrix
      Montana

      Now, you’re good to go.

      • SisterArtemis

        You are a bad Cousin and will be severely punished by some wonker or another around here who’s good at that sort of thing.

        My boss lives in such a tiny town that we tell people they can stand in the middle of the road and yell out her name, and someone will direct them to the right person.

        • shivaskeeper

          Went with Mrs Keeper to a ride a few years ago. The official directions to the ride site included the phrase, “in town, turn left at the grain silo and drive another 6 miles”.

          • notaten

            We give a lot of directions like that here where I live. “Go down the street by the old Chevron station, and remember where my Aunt Sylvia used to live, in the blue house? Just go past there and it’s the house next to the tan house that has the brown car parked in front, by where my Uncle Alex used to live? So just go there and it’s the white house next to Mrs. Montoya, the one with Ralphs old Nova parked in front. Where that big tree fell down that one time.

          • shivaskeeper

            That actually sounds like where Mrs Keeper grew up.

          • bookish

            Yep. I used to go to little dusty valley towns where there were no street signs beyond the railroad tracks. There be dragons, or some such.

          • TJ Barke

            Those are some very Montanan directions.

          • shivaskeeper

            Eastern WA. Washtukna area to narrow it down some.

    • SisterArtemis

      I posted the address below, as did 3FSalute, but also, you can find it towards the bottom of the “give” page, accessible through the linkey on the menu (top of page, on a laptop, side menu on the phone version)

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/23/obamacare-repeal-gop-tweak-cassidy-graham-243054?lo=ap_b1

    “Tweaks are being made,” the official said.

    Cassidy, Graham and their allies on Capitol Hill and in the White House continued to work on tweaking their plan on Friday evening even after Sen. John McCain of Arizona dealt the bill an apparent death blow on Friday afternoon. A new version of the legislation could drop as soon as this weekend, those sources said.

    • BrendaKay

      Aack. Would they agree to kill it if the Democrats agree to shelve any mention of Single payer for 6 months while everyone works on bipartisan fixes to the ACA?

    • notaten

      So, free meth for everybody? Might appeal to their base, and would def. kill more people more sooner. That’s the only ‘tweak’ these crackers probably know about. FML

    • Doug Langley

      One. Create a horrible bill that would kill healthcare for millions of people.
      Two. Strangely, people complain. Bill is shelved.
      Three. Create even more extreme bill than last time.
      Four. Insist “This time for sure!!”

      No, I’m still not getting it.

      • AJ Milne

        Voters: No, we’d prefer _not_ to be bashed in the head with a brick, thanks.

        Senate: Oh. Understood. Ixnay on the bricks… Workshopping…

        (… One week later ..)

        Senate: How ’bout we drop a pallet of cinder blocks on you?

    • Lord Jim

      McCain won’t do it. He wants a normal process, not ramrodding it thru using reconciliation. He’s only said it eleventy bazillion times.

    • commatoes

      Turds will be polished.

  • Jennifer R
    • mancityRed6

      that’s brutal.

    • TJ Barke

      Good on them?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      wtf? So women should date total asshats for the good of the country? (I’m not actually going to READ that article).

      • Amy!

        Date them, lure them into the woods, and have antifa kill them, according to what I’m seeing there.

        I mean, it’s one way to reduce the conservative vote, but I’m pretty sure it’s not actually one that we could advocate, given The Rules.

        • Rick Hill

          Being the nice guy seems to guarantee finishing last.

          • Amy!

            Not actually quite certain how to interpret that.

            Who’s the nice guy, in this scenario? :-)

          • Rick Hill

            Well, playing by the rules when te other side is breaking every single one. That would seem to be a nice guy/asshole set up

      • Rick Hill

        Sluts for Freedom!!
        Or, SFF!

      • Jennifer R

        The second picture is a story of two dutch women who lured nazis out to the woods under the guise of free sex to be killed by leftists.

    • Canis Greyhame

      Actually, if only there had been ethics in gaming journalism, Donald Trump would not be President.
      /s

    • Lord Jim

      “It was your fault you were raped. Shouldn’t have said ‘no’.”

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Anybody else notice that Dotard is getting more and more shrill as the talk of grand juries, subpoenas and indictments gets louder and louder. Think he knows something we don’t?

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      That he’s a lying schmuck?

      Oh wait, we’ve known that forever.

  • Jennifer R

    Have a nice lil web comic.
    http://www.robot-hugs.com/

  • mancityRed6

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1ktUkwsoQM
    change of pace, and fat mike was probably drunk.

    • gallbladder

      I’m drunk right now, so it all makes sense.

  • CO
  • bookish

    My lane is anywhere I want it to be.

    • Juan de Fuca

      “Celebrities should stay out of politics.” – People who elected a celebrity who started the birther movement

      • Three Finger Salute

        Also too, people who may have been alive to elect a B-movie cowboy who had a monkey for a sidekick. The only difference is, Bonzo wasn’t his VP. Bonzo was the VP’s son.

        (Yes, I know. Bonzo libelz.)

        • Juan de Fuca

          They’re only mad because one of the most recognizable and well-liked black people in the world called their ‘Dear Leader’ a bum. In front of the whole world, as it should be done because he is a bum.

          I honestly felt the planet shift ever so slightly this morning.

        • Doug Langley

          That’s nothing. How do you imagine I felt when voters looked at a 5th rate actor who only did roles of a mindless, thoughtless killing machine and think “yeah, Arnold should be my Governor!”

          • C4TWOMAN

            And even ahnold is more qualified than shit gibbon.

          • Doug Langley

            Dear Gawd . . . even Arnold’s English is better.

        • commatoes

          Said he remembered being in uniform. Excluded the fact it was in Army training films.

  • Doug Langley

    Is this open thread? Okay. So I was going crazy with recruiter saying “they need more info” and my resume was already crammed to the gills. Then I finally noticed a teensy attachment to the email. That was the doc she was talking about. They had edited my resume into a “profile” and that didn’t have all the info. Suddenly everything she said made sense. So I edited the profile and sent it back. It now has all the buzzwords and stuff the client wants. Fingers crossed.

    Only one more week of file clerk. Can I make it?

    • gallbladder

      My money’s on you.

    • stumpknocker

      all you have to do is get up one more time than you get knocked down.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Best of luck Doug!

    • mancityRed6

      you got this

    • shivaskeeper

      Good luck. And yes, you’ll make it.

    • Lord Jim

      Go cat go!

      But don’t you

      step on my blue suede shoes…

      :)

      • Doug Langley

        Wait – am I a dog or a cat? Am I chasing myself?

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Yay!

      And yes you can – every time that crazy boss of yours starts up – just picture yourself in your awesome new gig until she shuts up.

    • memzilla Ω
  • YouGuysCaptainHowdy

    NOOOO!¡!

    false vaaccuumm. Of.
    !!!DONUT¡

  • Raan

    EDIT: Here’s something else that won’t Electric Soldier Porygon some innocent Wonker.

    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/034/569/955.png

    • Jennifer R

      It renders outside of the tags yeah.

      • Raan

        Well, it was worth a shot.

        • Jennifer R

          Looks like Toriel from Undertale?

          • Raan

            I think it’s supposed to be an intentionally shitty drawing of Asriel.

    • SisterArtemis

      Very flashy!!!!

    • gallbladder

      Technicolor goodness.

    • Raan

      For anyone wondering about these comments that don’t fit the picture, I tried putting a rapidly animated shitposty gif of a poorly drawn grammatically incorrect Asriel from Undertale to see if images show up outside the spoiler tags.

      they totally do

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        You can’t make them bold or italic, either.

        • C4TWOMAN

          As I understand every down votes summons a mod. Afaik we’re never aware of down votes#s, just the total.
          Edit..goddamnudiscus!!!

  • mancityRed6

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZsTegJhCew
    skip to about 3 minutes in if you are so inclined.

  • C4TWOMAN

    I would like to apologise in advance to the mods and fellow wonkies for my semi regular down votes whilst typing on this damned phone with tiny keys. I usually correct it immediately.
    Sorry!

    • SisterArtemis

      i have that same problem

    • mancityRed6

      it’s when you go for the upvote and someone else posts and everything shifts.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Dancing disqus…don’t have love it..

    • OutOfOrbit

      i didnut even notice

    • Juan de Fuca

      I do that too sometimes but I don’t think they even show up.

      • SisterArtemis

        I’ve often wondered what happens with the downvotes. When I do that, I usually un-downvote it immediately, or if I was going to upvote, when I hit the uppey-thingey, it un-downvotes.
        @doktorzoom:disqus, what’s the scoop on the downvoting thingey? what happens when we (usually accidentally) click it?

        • mancityRed6

          let’s find out

          • OutOfOrbit

            you can hit me your guinee pig

          • mancityRed6

            I’m waiting for Sister to report bad things happening to her.

          • OutOfOrbit

            nuttin here so far

          • SisterArtemis

            I hitted you, with my all-powerful downvote. But only cuz I love ya.

          • mancityRed6

            nausea, ill will towards me? any ill effects?

          • SisterArtemis

            hives? ringing in the ears? salt in the sugar shaker? drafty windows?

          • mancityRed6

            you know, whatever…

          • Dudleydidwrong

            I downvoted you and got turned into a newt.

          • SisterArtemis

            did you get better?

          • OutOfOrbit

            me not a newt, mebbe would be ok (less complicated)

          • OutOfOrbit

            didnut feel a thing … yet(?)

          • OutOfOrbit

            **blushing down to my tows**

          • SisterArtemis

            Do you even see the downvote?

          • OutOfOrbit

            nope will go look in me notifications

          • mancityRed6

            did you?

          • SisterArtemis

            I did. With authoritah!

          • OutOfOrbit

            nuttin in here that i can see SNAFU?

          • I prefer rhythym stick hitting

          • OutOfOrbit

            i’m game

          • bupkus231
        • doktorzoom

          pretty much nothing. I thought for a while that downvotes landed comments in the moderation queue, but I think that’s not actually the case. I should look that up some time….

          • SisterArtemis

            Are they even actually tabulated? Seems like a strange, unused “feature.”