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Luve the wee grandbabbie!

Good morning, Wonkers! What a week! First, Evan was out, and I have never missed anyone so much IN MY LIFE. Second, I was horribly depressed the first couple days — maybe you are familiar with this feeling! — and just sat like an ACTUAL LUMP OF SHIT and waited for Dok and Robyn and $ Five Feminist to hand me stories, like … Jabba the Hutt? Yes, I was JUST LIKE THAT. (They were Triplet Princess Leia.) But toward midweek I started feeling better and started firing on SOME cylinders, and then some INTERESTING NEWS HAPPENED and doesnt that make you feel a whole lot better? OH MY APOSTROPHE JUST BROKE. FORGET IT I AM LEAVING FOREVER.

We will get to the WEEKS TOP TEN in just a moment, but first I must money you! As you may remember, because we tell you at the end of every post, your Wonkette has made the plunge to totally AD FREE. We did this because the money dropped by two-thirds and then THEY DIDNT EVEN PAY US. But you, wise and generous Wonkers, took on that burden. And every month since, you have put us over the top of what we need, for modest but liveable salaries, and servers, and all of the things. At the moment, we are about $3000 shy of our monthly nut (it always slows at the end). We get 800,000 or so readers per month, a goodly chunk of whom are like HMM THIS MIGHT NOT BE THE WEB SITE FOR ME and are never heard from again! But there are about 9,000 of you per month who visit like … 100 times? One thousand? And of those, only roughly 3,000 of you are GIVING US MONEY! That is (MATH) one-third! If you are one of the 6,000 who is not shoveling ducats straight into our Scrooge McDuck maw, please consider starting up! JUST IMAGINE what we could do with a tripled budget! We would hire five or 17 more people and give them all ponies! We would have RAISES, and VACATIONS, and pay off our credit cards! Can you imagine anything funner than that? (Hahaha, remember being young and having funner things than “paying off credit cards”? WELL, I DONT.)

OH NO A LION!

YOU CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW.

OK I am tired, here are your stories!

1. The Week In Terrible Men: Evil Women Wear Leggings Just To Torment Incels. You guys really liked Robyn’s story about this, the leggings and whatnot.

2. Idiot: Trump Won Because Liberal Chicks Won’t Bone Down With Jerk Republican Men. And another Robyn post that you also liked!

3. A Texas Billionaire, The Stripper He Beat Up, and the Mugshot He Doesn’t Want You To See. Guys, if you haven’t read this guest post from “Respectable Lawyer,” PLEASE DO! You will not regret it!

4. Oh Do you Think Trump Will Be Mad About This BREAKING PAUL MANAFORT WIRETAPP FROM THE CAMPAIGN TIMES. PROBABLY! Since we then learned that Manafort was just stone cold offering “private briefings” on the campaign to Russian billionaires!

5. New York Times, You Got Some Trump-Russia SPLAINING TO DO. Never won’t be mad about this! A post by me!

6. Great New Book Reveals Liberal Women Don’t Luve Their Wee Babbies Because They Are Shallow Hoors. Factcheck: TRUE!

7. Trump Jr. Fires Secret Service. Not Suspicious. Not Suspicious At All. Your second Dok post! He worries sometimes that you don’t love him.

8. Jesus Facebook Does Russia Have A Pee Tape Of You Too? Because of how you always love Evan’s stuff best, like this one, which isn’t even from this week at all!

9. Ken Burns Loves The Smell Of Napalm In The Morning. A Wonkette Documentareview! A third Dok! is he the winner???

10. Roy Moore Only Used Racial Slurs Because He Was Quoting Jesus Okay? NOPE ROBYN IS HAHA SUCK IT DOK. Just kidding, he is #loved.

And that is it from me! I deliver you into Robyn’s strong yet tender weekend hands. SEE YOU FUCKERS! The end.

$
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  • freakishlypersistent

    Wee grandbabby for the win!

    • I enjoy the neck attached floatation system

      • armed_bears

        Sure! What could go wrong!1

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          All I could think of was “Babby As Bait”

      • PubOption

        Otteroo? Sounds like a strange marsupial that I have never heard of.

    • Joe Beese

      OH NO A LION!

  • freakishlypersistent

    Another Republican lie on “Obamacare”. Teapublicans campaigned and won on opposition to it so they have to get rid of it. No, Teapublicans, you gerrymandered the shit out of voting districts and suppressed the vote of people who don’t vote for you. Lies, lies, damn lies.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • Blackest Noobs

      eh? um Americans were assholes from the get-go…the whole revolution from England was cuz those wealthy slave-owning white people didn’t want to pay taxes….taxes that paid for protecting their asses out on the high seas where they traded and did tons of commerce.

      America has always been assholes.

      • Ezio

        Hey, remember that time when a bunch of white people decided to revolt against the Mexican government because they wouldn’t let the white settlers own slaves and it ended in Texas becoming part of the US?

        • Blackest Noobs

          i do. it’s funny how many forget that point…that whole fucking war with texas and mexico was because asshole white guys wanted slaves and the mexicans were like ok you can have the land dirt cheap but no slaves was the deal breaker.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        I think it’s awesome how we fucked over the French. “You help us and then we’ll help you. Psych!”

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Lafayette Escadrille libelz!

        • Ezio

          France has a lot of screwed up things in it’s past, but the French Revolution is legit awesome.

          • coozledad

            Robespierre and the Mountain prefigured the degeneration of revolutions into wars of all against all, resulting in the establishment of criminal cartels as governmental bodies.

            But that aspect of the revolution got a big assist from extranational royalist factions. Once the Revolutionary government declared war, a military dictatorship was inevitable. But it’s not like they had a lot of choices.

            A Place of Greater Safety is about the only book that describes the Revolution in a way my dumb ass can grasp.

        • Lyly Sirivong

          Think of it this way, if France hadn’t ruined itself helping the States, we might still have a king today.

      • coozledad

        Britain was preparing to abolish slavery. The entire economy of the US was based on slavery and the acquisition of more land because plantation agriculture ruins soil within a generation. It was the first war to preserve American slavery and slavery driven imperial expansion

        The revolution was a proslavery act, and the Framers’ subsequent mincing over it is simply them trying to gloss over their fundamental immorality,

        The Articles of Confederation government was the anarcho-capitalist state still beloved of Republican shitheels, and it was part of the blueprint for Hitler’s corporate statism.

        • PubOption

          Mincing, as in walking in an exaggeratedly camp fashion?

          • coozledad

            The minuet minuet.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I quit reading after he said that Donnie isn’t an asshole.

    • BadKitty904

      I already know the reason – the Russo-Republican Dictatorship.

    • Is his entire article “We elected an immature man baby to the highest office of the land so the assholes feel empowered”?
      Cause…..

  • Joe Beese

    I didn’t pay for a long time because the web’s supposed to be free, man. (Which was convenient, because I’m also a cheap bastard.) Then at some point I realized that I’m on here, like, all fucking day, pretty much every day (I tend to take off Sundays, cuz it’s the Lord’s day), and I would have sadz if it went away, and double the sadz if it went away because I wouldn’t pay even five dollars a month, which is like twenty fucking cents per commenting day, so now I pay and get to enjoy lion babby without guilt, THE END.

    • FlownΩver

      Huzzah! The (not permitted) comments of Wonket-addicted reglars like JB are often the highlight of my day. Here’s hoping all of them – ‘cept those with no munniez – are chipping in, if only to assure we can bask in their snark.

  • mancityRed6

    now that I’ve been up for 7 hours, Imma take a nap.
    see you all later.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    The Wonketariate is where I go to find out what I should think about the nooz. I use my Soros dollars to pay my monthly “donation”. I don’t think Soros minds too much.

    • Joe Beese

      After Chris Cilizza’s analyzin’, it’s my most important source of What To Think About Stuff.

      • armed_bears

        Ha!

  • jesterpunk

    http://wgntv.com/2017/09/22/hurricane-victims-call-sex-hotline-after-fema-mistakenly-tweets-wrong-number/

    Several Hurricane Irma victims called a 1-800 number for help and were offered phone sex instead of hurricane relief assistance.

    The Miami Herald reported that the Federal Emergency Management Agency’s Region 4 office accidentally tweeted the number Wednesday, which offered assistance to people dealing with damaged roofs.

    The number was supposed to be a “1-888” number, not a “1-800” number.

    “Welcome to America’s hottest talk line. Guys, hot ladies are waiting to talk to you. Press ‘1’ to connect, free, now,” said the recording of the 1-800 number.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Relief is on the way.

      • Joe Beese

        Exactly. They got some relief, didn’t they?

    • ManchuCandidate

      I am not amazed things like this happened. I am amazed that these lines still exist.

      • Khavrinen

        Apparently there are still people who have not heard of an obscure, little-known bit of technology known as “the internet”.

    • “accidentally” tweeted the wrong number to people needing financial help?
      HUH

      • jesterpunk

        “Government is evil and can’t do anything right so we should sell it off to private companies. See look at all of these mistakes the government is making.”

        • FlownΩver

          Republican 101:

          Government sucks. Give us the government and we’ll prove it.

      • kareemachan

        Heckuva job, drumpster appointee.

    • coozledad

      “Water’s up to my waist!”
      “Oooh. You’re making ME wet.”

      • Nockular cavity

        “I’m stuck on my roof! Help me get off!”
        “Oh, you’ve come to the right place, baby!”

  • armed_bears

    This week’s stories make me think we men are not all we are cracked up to be.

    • Blackest Noobs

      we, they are not. right on the nose, bears, right on the fucking nose.

    • Joe Beese

      I feel frequently disgraced by my gender.

      Honestly, the fact that all women don’t hate men makes me question whether they’re not paying enough attention or are too forgiving by nature.

      • Jennaratrix

        Hate takes a lot out of you, and you guys aren’t going anywhere. We’ve had to learn to deal. ;-)

        • armed_bears

          damning with faint praise?
          fainting with damn praise?
          praising with faint damns?

          • Jennaratrix

            I like praising with faint damns.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Well, some of you are okay, and a few are decent in the sack. ;-)

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          Too few…

          xD

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          Most of us good ones gravitate towards each other.

        • coozledad

          Hey. Give us a break. Sometimes It takes years for the training wheels to come off.

        • kareemachan

          This. SO much this.

  • Ezio

    You really reveal a lot about yourself when your go-to insult for people who disagree with you is to call them a “cuck” and you have to constantly tell others (and yourself) how “alpha” you are.

    • Joe Beese

      Sometimes when my dogs don’t do what I tell them, I intone, “Obey the alpha!”

      It works as well as you would expect.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Try calling them cucks

        • Paul

          HAHAHAHAHA.

          Nice one.

      • Red Bird

        Do they stare at you while peeing on the floor? That’s what mine used to do when I tried that.

      • wait! what?

        I have a mallard and when I call him cuck he tells me I spelled it wrong.

        Did I mention it’s a talking duck?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Well, what do you expect from a group who tie their self-worth to their skin color and the accomplishments of folks who would look down on them as fools?

  • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

    Before I came out, I met the hottest Chick. A US Army officer,a real Tank Girl, and Liberal. She’d wear her uniform to Pride Day. She turned down dates with rich Republicans.

    When I met her at the anime store, she was the cuteest Granola Grrl I ever saw, dressed for Clubbing, the other girls might as well stay home. And brilliant, tough, and generous of spirit to boot.

    So, Damn Right that Smart Girls wont bone Republicans and haters. Damn right.

    • armed_bears

      Hello again…

    • armed_bears

      …So you were at Hood? A great place to be, they say…

      • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

        No, she was at Fort Carson. This was 2011-2012.

      • …in the shire

    • Paul

      Hey, welcome back. Haven’t seen ya’ in a while. All is cool I hope.

      • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

        Hi, and yes it is, thank you. :) The war goes on.

        • Paul

          Good.

    • SpideySenser

      Hi. Good to hear from you.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Not fer nuthin’, but where would a person find an adult-sized Otteroo? Um, asking for a friend, of course.

  • Ezio

    Uh oh! Trump is gettin’ upset that the Golden State Warriors don’t want to come see him. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3ad0c8fa093a6a7e4d943f28444e1dbacdc0479e504f6dcb0f4b77e2cd7a3e6b.png

    • BadKitty904

      Betraying America has consequences, Donnie.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      This just in, real celebrity shuns fake celebrity, fake celebrity takes it to twitter.

    • jesterpunk

      “Fine I didnt want a cookie anyway”

      https://media.giphy.com/media/B5s94YAsz9IRi/giphy.gif

      • armed_bears

        This.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        I used to hate Dorf

    • armed_bears

      Petulant a-hole.

      • BadKitty904

        Guess it depends on who’s in the White House, traitor.

    • BadKitty904

      “Going to the White House WAS considered a great honor for a championship team.”

      • YoBunnyBunny

        And guess who fucked that up, Donnie? No, it wasn’t the previous black guy tenant.

        • BadKitty904

          I don’t recall that guy having any prob getting folks to visit him in the White House.

          • jesterpunk

            Trump did get Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and Sarah Palin in the White House. But other then that no one wants to be seen with him, he couldn’t even get a big named band to play for his inauguration.

          • BadKitty904

            No real President would’ve allowed those three in the WHite House.

          • jesterpunk

            They shouldn’t even be allowed in the fake White House a few miles from the real White House.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            Hell, bamz had people who weren’t invited crashing the place all the time. From fame-whoring reality stars to not-so-right-in-the-head gate jumpers.

    • Left Coast Tom

      I’m sure the residents of Oakland are really worried about their championship team not hanging out with L’il Donnie.

    • The Wanderer

      Being a damned poltroon degrades the office, Trumpy. No matter what so-called ‘celebrity’ you cling to in order to lend some vicarious luster to your dingy carcass.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      This is just like the time when my sister cancelled on coming home for my birthday.

      Except I didn’t throw a hissy fit and called her a LOSER.

    • Wait. Didn’t his good buddy Tom Brady also not go to see him?

      • The Wanderer

        Fuck Tom Brady. Fuck the fucking New England fucking Patriots.
        (Oakland Raiders fan.)

        • Oh heavens yes, but I do not recall his tantrum about that one.
          I wonder what the difference is?

        • Paul

          WATB.

          I’m a lifelong Boston sports fan who is over 60 years old and suffered, FUCKING SUFFERED, for decade after decade of our teams sucking and snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Remember a guy named Bill Buckner?

          Yes the younger fans are obnoxious, having known nothing but victory lately. But us old fuckers paid our dues and DO NOT appreciate all the haters. Suck it up and draft better, trade better and game plan better. Then execute better.

          Al Davis knew this. Why don’t you?

    • sarafina

      It’s an honor when an orange shitgibbon isn’t there.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Dotard my go-to now. Throughout the primary, every time his opponents tried to take down Trump using his own insulting techniques against him, it blew up in their faces. Kim Jong Un nailed the ugly dotard to the wall, and Trump hasn’t been able to come back from that one.

        • To be scrupulously correct, KJU (or his speechwriter) actually called Donnie “늙다리 미치광이”, which is just Korean for “crazy old man”. It was some genius Korean-English translator who found DOTARD in his thesaurus.

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Almost half of America’s 50 states’ electoral systems were attacked by Russia in 2016 – and the Trump Administration/Republican Congress has done what about it?

    Russia Targeted Election Systems in 21 States, Successfully Hacking Some
    https://techcrunch.com/2017/09/22/electronic-voting-state-hacking-russian-government-cyber-actors/

    • jesterpunk

      Criticized sports ball players?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Priorities!

        • jesterpunk

          Its not like there is anything more important happening so he has time to talk about how his feelings where hurt.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Compiled all that information into a single hackable database? USA! USA! #MAGA!

      • BadKitty904

        The GOP knows it cannot win a fair national election because they know they no longer represent the majority of Americans. If you think Republicans won’t use what they’ve learned from the Russians about rigging elections – with Russia’s continued help – then think again.

        It’s their only chance of holding onto the sole thing they actually value – power.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          ^^^ THIS ^^^

        • RMKH

          I think they value obscene amounts of cash, and I think they value looking down on others that aren’t as swell as they are. So I think they have a tripartite value system.

          • sarafina

            Yes, I knew $$$$$$$$$$$$$$ was high on the GOP list.

    • Joe Beese

      You can’t sweat the small stuff.

    • I am mildly curious why all the concern trolling about how we should stop focusing so much on Russia has died off…..

    • Stulexington

      Reaped the benefits.

    • Thiazin Red

      Started a commission to prove that black and brown people shouldn’t be able to vote?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        “There was voter fraud and interference by non-American citizens: the MEXICANS!!!1!1”

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I’m seriously beginning to think this election WAS rigged, and I don’t mean by the Electoral College.

      • BadKitty904

        Russian officials have publicly and privately boasted that Russia rigged the 2016 election. Given the results – and the MASSIVE consequent damage to the US – I believe them.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          If I was a radical jihadist, I wouldn’t even bother to try to attack America, since the GOP is doing such a great job of destroying this country.

          • BadKitty904

            Which is precisely why Putin is supporting them.

    • kareemachan

      Shit, it looks like even we were in WA state – but unsuccessfully. Fuck. They were going after voter registration systems…

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Encouraged them to “keep up the good work”?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Steph Curry hurt President Baby’s fee fees.

    • Ezio

      Get ready for Trump supporters to start calling Steph Curry a traitor to America, an “evil leftist” or someone who hates God even though he has a Bible verse embroidered on his sneakers when he plays.

      • Elendira

        obviously a long con. its common knowledge that black people don’t have souls and therefore can’t worship jesus. this is what happens when you choose to be a son of Ham

        (actual arguments to justify slavery)

        Edited.

        • YoBunnyBunny

          There all sekrit Mooslins like OBUMMER!1!!!1

    • ariel_gee_398

      Being racist at athletes is a fuck of a lot easier than dealing with North Korea or helping Puerto Rico, and more of an applause line anyway.

  • Joe Beese
    • Me not sure

      🎶I put a smell on you…🎶

  • Everybody shaddup! Hillz is on with Joy!

  • jesterpunk

    Fine Rebecca, I will give you some Ameros.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      I feel like I underdonated after the grandbabbie picture.

      YOU GET MOAR MUNEEYZ

      • Suttree

        She is a babby fucking otter! Open your wallet!

  • Suttree

    Sheet Trix. I totally wish I had bucks to give ya, The 3 days at my last jobs put me into a few hunnerd and I’ve got booze for the weekend. I ain’t cry, but I can’t share. I feel bad because this place keeps me sane. Oh and that girl what’s her name too. :) Love y’all and thanks!

    • BadKitty904

      Well, as sane as the rest of us. Let’s not get all crazy or anything…

      • Suttree

        I do not have long drawn out conversations with my stuffed animals! ….. When I’m sober.

        • BadKitty904

          Well, as long as they’re good conversationalists…

          • Suttree

            Good listeners too. But they say the right things at the perfect moment.

          • BadKitty904

            There ya go, then…

          • Suttree

            I am not a raving lunatic. At most times. Unless it’s those other times. When I am.

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            At least you aren’t a Fuzzy

          • Suttree

            I don’t dress up as one. i just have a menagerie that keeps me company.

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            I thought furries dressed up and fuzzies did stuffed animals. No, I’m not googling that.

          • Suttree

            /ffs I don’t want to know the difference. But thanks for putting that shit into my head. :)

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            It”s because I love you. Or want to share my pain. (I used to be a sex health educator, I know some things no one should know).

        • wait! what?
      • Kiri the Unicorn
    • :huggles: I did a double duty so I got you covered this month ^.^

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        SAME – you’re covered Suttree!

        • How was the mixer anyway? Did you get to go?

          • persistently_resistant_gayby

            Yeah I did – hence all the drinking related head spinning that occurred yesterday.

            On a slightly positive note, I feel less isolated.

            Although, the number of people making out just made me drink more. :/

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Better remember what’s her name’s name …. ;-)

      • Suttree

        IDK. Some girl I met at the Wonkette party in Queens on February 13th 2016. My drunk ass needed help. And warmth! It was cold as hell! I think that it was 9 degrees when I got there in the afternoon. No wind chill. Lizzie took care of me and hugged me to keep me warm at the subway stop.I wouldn’t ever change a moment of that day! Especially when she stole my seat at the, and I was all who the fuck are you? Oh gawd Lizzietish. She had some beef to settle with Trix. She had actually given me the directions out there in the non-comments. :)

        • rebecca

          Lizzie and I were VERY MAD AT EACH Other. I wouldn’t even upfist her comments when they were VERY FUNNY, that’s how mad I was.

          • Suttree

            hehe! I just had to take a step back and watch. I was surprisingly out of my element. “I was just trying to buy a pitcher for these people I just met and a fight broke out!”

          • rebecca

            oh but I wasn’t mad at her AT THE PARTY. I was thrilled she came! I was mad at her BEFOre.

          • Suttree

            I really wasn’t sure. I was trying to follow like 3 conversations at once and TallMutha has an impressive stance standing in front of ya. :)

    • rebecca

      I trust you’ll make good in the future ;)

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        I think I owe you half my disability back pay when it comes through.

        • rebecca

          and I think NO. we are not Jim Bakker, we don’t take disability checks :)

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            I’m at 4 years and counting – you could buy a new Wonkebago. Fucking Social Security Administration…

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Standard practice. Ms. Gnome spent four years waiting for SS to hear her appeal, which went straight through as soon as it hit the schedule. Fucking government.

            Of course, if SSDI was run as a for profit entity, they’d deny everyone every time, because that would mean more money for them.

      • Suttree

        I will. This is home to me. Thanks Trix!

      • Paul

        Next jug of maple syrup will be given in Sutree’s name. Need any yet?

  • I can spare a lil extra this month, so for Robyn and Dok and Shy and Evan and Killer and Dom and Becca and $5 and even the occasional Chesterfield or Lawyer or visiting dignitary, this buck’s for you <3

  • memzilla Ω
    • The Wanderer

      ilaughed.

      • armed_bears

        iAlso

        • VeronicaRHorn

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !sk213d:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineSetEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sk213l..,.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      If the dog was a cat, the text would read “iCouldn’tCareLess-iSleep.”

  • jesterpunk
  • Edith Prickly

    I thought I would miss Evan more, but all the other writers have stepped up admirably, and the lovely $5DF got Evan-worthy belly laughs out of me a couple of times, so kudos.

    Dok, you are always loved! Your Dead Breitbart stories got me to start commenting after years of lurking, so don’t worry about any Evan-come-latelies stealing all the lurve.

  • wait! what?

    I have the best “the dog ate my Wonkette dues” story. My bank called to let me know that they had sent me a new CC and asked if I had received it. Since I hadn’t, they agreed to send the replacement to the bank where I could pick it up, which I did. Turns out that when you use this “service” the bank’s address is used as your home address until you call your bank and tell them to remove it.

    • rebecca

      haha banks suck

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I just sent you a few bucks. Now might be a good time to throw up a few Donna Rose pics, to inspire others to do the same, or, you know, just to make this old fart happy.

  • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

    “Stalker, why are you guys giving me so much grief? I passed Selection, I’m a GI Joe member the same as you.”

    “I know kid, and you had to be some kind of tough to get past Duke and the Cadre. But all that proves is that you can Take it. In the field, I need to know if you can Dish It Out.”

    GI Joe Special Missions #23, “Scoop”. 1989.

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

    Okay. I finally got guilted into donating.

    No really, Wonkette is the only site I’ve ever not commented at that actually has articles that are truly worthy of me taking the time to read.

    I know it isn’t much but I also feel that Wonkette is truly worthy of my donation.

    Please forgive my punk ass for not donating sooner.

    • rebecca

      ALWAYS LUVE YOU, $$$ or no.

  • armed_bears
    • I think we have a pattern established.
      He likes when people are violent. From getting one’s head smashed in with the feetball to protesting with cars.

      • SharonRClark

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !sl353d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineSourceEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sl353l..,……

  • YoBunnyBunny
    • wait! what?

      They really try. Donald just says “Poli-what?” Then, Pence says Polly-want a new president under his breath and Donald’s tantrums embiggen..

  • Red Richmond

    Once I get started on my new job (Monday!) I’m thinking the monies will be coming in from here. Lord knows y’all deserve it, and that’s before you start sharing grandotterbabby pics.

    • rebecca

      NEW JOB! YAY!

  • ariel_gee_398

    I may have to start watching the NBA now. https://twitter.com/KingJames/status/911610455877021697

    • rebecca

      holy wow. i didn’t know LeBron James GOT angry!

      • kareemachan

        I wouldn’t want to be around him when he’s angry… Watch out, drumpster!

      • Celtic_Gnome

        LeBron be cool. He had to rely on shitty public transit to get to school as a kid, so he started a program in his hometown of Akron to help elementary kids get to school after seeing a study of how far behind a student gets with every missed day of school.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Dayuuuum!!! King James for the win!!!

      He really is a good guy, LeBron is. He and Curry are not only really good ballers but they are upstanding people off the court. Unlike a couple of other players who were jerks when they were at the top of their game.

      • ariel_gee_398

        And I imagine coming from a black man with more talent, fame, money, charm, wit, etc. etc. than him, this will piss Trump off. I mean, I wouldn’t mind if Trump spent the next 4 months in a twitter war with LeBron James instead of launching nukes at North Korea.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          If Trump were to nuke North Korea, for that brief, shining moment before the end of everything, we would still have dotard.

      • puredog

        yeah, SLAMDUNK that mofo, King!

  • Me not sure

    Wife’s co-pays and deductibles for her treatment ended this month, (Hooray?) but as we gather our retirement Ameros at the first of every month from the money tree in the back yard, it will be a week before we can help. Keep taking out our monthly and we’ll come across with a lagniappe next week.

    • rebecca

      lagniappe is one of my favorite words for one of my favorite things! kiss the wife. she all right?

      • Me not sure

        Sadly, no. We go Monday for a surgery to remove the lining of a bladder ureter to biopsy it and determine if there is cancer there too. There is some uncertainty if it is or isn’t cancer and, if it is cancer, whether it is a spreading of the breast cancer or something else. I’ve been hesitant to write about it. Thanks for caring enough to ask. She fights on. Fuck cancer.

        • Old town Urbandale

          Hoping for good news. Fuck cancer, indeed.

          • Me not sure

            Thanks.

        • rebecca

          oh my dear one. the pretty wife I met in Atlanta? oh no.

          • rebecca

            email me your address, won’t you please?

          • Me not sure

            She’s very strong, but I’m stressed as fuck (not that any of this is about me!).

          • rebecca

            it is though.

          • Me not sure

            I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am to have this place to go to when I need to take my mind off of things. I have spent much of the last two years in medical waiting rooms and you guys have helped not only pass the interminable periods of just waiting, but also have been there with kind words and encouragement. Bless you all.

          • HorseChestnut

            I could have written the same thing. And thank YOU, you bring a lot to this place.

          • Care and support for the caregivers can be as important as care for the caree often.

          • HorseChestnut

            Some of it has to be about you. I know it sounds impossible, or stupid, or wrong – that’s how it sounds to me, when people tell me this. But I also know it’s true. Literally anything you can do for yourself, even just giving yourself permission to feel what you feel, will help you be who she needs you to be.

          • Me not sure

            Thanks.

          • Zyxomma

            Big virtual hugs for you and the wife. Damned onion ninjas.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    You guys really liked Robyn’s story about this, the leggings and whatnot.

    The workout leggings I got the night I read that post arrived in the mail yesterday. Can’t wait to wear them in public just to piss off some MRA/MGTOW/whatever the fuck jagoff!

    • Edith Prickly

      Make sure you carry your bag in strategic spots just to add to the rage.

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      I wore my Steampunk leggings to Wal-Mart Thursday. 5 miles round trip in leggings and heels. Cars were slowing down to watch me walk, and some loser Dude made a sadz face when I passed him on the sidewalk.

    • Red Richmond

      Wasn’t the leggings story the one where Wolf Turds went all psycho and everyone called it quits with his stupid shit?

      • We were just a clique running off someone new. I read it on the interwebs so it must be true

        • puredog

          Buncha libtards that we are, we’ve apparently really cocked that up, too.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    Never was sure if these top tens were somewhat open posts. I’ll accept rebuke if I shoulda waited until tonight. ;-)

    Sooooo, I’m having trouble letting this go. Sorry if this is long, but I’m not sure it’s in good form to just unload on work colleagues and teacher friends about this.

    There’s a lot of circumstantial evidence I was let go after last semester because administration didn’t want to deal with my going fulltime. I went into the job — as a teacher’s aid — with the intention of going above and beyond. I know the score regarding being trans and being a teacher. I was the aid there an hour early, I volunteered constantly, I got a perfect review back from the AP and my teacher.

    But, they let me go. They laid me off with seven other aids with promises that they always managed to hire folks back. Those seven came back, and all I got was silence. I finally emailed the head of student services (who does the hiring), and I got a one line email back: “Hi Autumn. I apologize, but we do not have a position available right now.”

    So, I knew right then I was fucked. I have a full teaching job because I beat quick feet, but I had to move, bust my ass just getting things ready, and I had to leave the one place I worked so hard building a career for myself. It’s been absolutely heartbreaking. I miss my kids and my friends a lot. I feel like an exile.

    But, just in case, I also signed up to substitute teach. I know my hiring hit the social studies office where I used to work, but I haven’t heard a peep otherwise, and they have a HUGE sub shortage. It’s possible the secretary, who adored me btw, heard I was off the table, but there’s no real way to tell. Like I said, it’s all circumstantial.

    And the final nail for me was instead of sending the ASL interpreter to our sister school where a student needed her they hired ANOTHER interpreter and put the one at my old school in an aid position with the teacher I was with. This poor woman has no classroom training and crippling anxiety. She ended up taking sub jobs and then followed her student from last year to a different school. So, my friend and her kids ended up with a string of subs, and they only just last week hired and got someone into the position permanently. Oh, and guess who they didn’t call and ask to interview or return for that?

    So, yeah, this has been dragging on me for months. It fucking still hurts.

    • rebecca

      yes top tens are always open thread!

      • New Person

        You know Rebecca- maybe if you didn’t have a little clique of assholes that think they own the wonkette forum running off all the new people that won’t bend a knee to their agenda and posting obscene material to minors you might get more people to donate.

        Womaninpersistnce
        shanzgood
        Physc Dr  Jen
        persistently_resistant_gayby
        jesterpunk

        Those assholes are why you lose new members and donations.

        Just sayin…

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Oh, you’re back – you fucking thief, and persistent harasser.

        • yay! I finally got a mention from you!

        • New Person

          That and having a moderator that won’t do their job.

        • rebecca

          but I like those people. you not so much :/
          maybe you could go comment somewhere else?

          • Haven’t you met Shanz for realz and Woman as well? I like that this guy doesn’t get that many of us have met each other for really

          • rebecca

            I have met Woman! I don’t think I have met Shanz? But talked to her on the phone?

          • Ah…i though maybe you had with the assist on the Baconz/Shanz coupling…

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            I almost met Painter of Goats at the Wimminz March.

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          I feel left out…

        • Red Richmond

          Te futueo et caballum tuum.

          Just sayin.

        • shastakoala

          You seem to get a word in edgewise.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Hey! What about me? I’m not good enough to make the list?

          Fuck you and the horse you rode in on! (Unless you’re afraid of horses like George W. Bush. Then, just fuck you.)

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Woohoo ! Thanks for the confirmation !

    • Edith Prickly

      I’m sorry, that’s really shitty. Hang in there.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      That absolutely sucks – I hope it turns out better for you :/

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      ~hugs~ Cisgender people have much to answer for.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        Yes, yes we do.

    • I am sorry, Autumn :hugs: It does not sound so circumstantial to me, but I guess it could be.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Well, when I say that I am saying I don’t have grounds to sue. I definitely got the picture.

        I am forcing their hand a bit. Since I’m going to be around town next Thursday I’m going for a visit. I have to have a teacher tell security and nab a visitor’s pass.

        So, we’ll see what happens there.

        The big thing is a lot of my friends are angry too. Social studies was grooming me to take a spot in a few years, which was the career prospects angle. I’ll still apply, but I won’t hold my breath.

        • Suttree

          That sounds like a hard case darling. I’m not saying do or don’t. I’m just saying.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Well, it’s not the real reason to visit. I just want to see my friends. I’m not going to say anything, but I’m scared they’ll bar me.

          • Suttree

            I hear ya. Just be nonchalant. If they want to start shit let it be on them.

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Exactly. The old man — my former cooperating teacher from when I did my student teaching — has another student teacher. He’s off almost all day. Old guy needs some company. :-D

        • Meanwhile, where you are at now, you might be in the position to make a real difference. Even if you reach just one of them.
          :hugs:

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            This is true, but it’s not where I want to be forever. I’m not sure I could make a career of it, here.

          • I don’t think anyone could. Be askin for burn out central.
            HOWEVER. Can do now, and work for the other, and since the department seems to want you, that carries a LOT

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            That’s the hope. if it’s exile, maybe it’s only two years of “seasoning” outside the gates learning classroom management. ;-)

  • Khavrinen

    “They were Triplet Princess Leia.”

    Copper-bikini pics or it didn’t happen.

  • eggs ackly-wright

    Why for is grandbabby in the terlet?

    • Parakeetist

      Hard night of drinking.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Clueless so-called reporter is clueless:

    https://twitter.com/CillizzaCNN/status/911185956098727937

    • I wonder if being this stupid is literally painful?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        It should be.

      • wavicles

        It’s pretty hard on others.

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          My head hurts – oh god why.

      • coozledad

        The brain can’t feel itself. Even when someone is scrambling it with a kitchen utensil

        Chris Cillizza is living proof.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      I WANT TO SHAKE THIS FUCK AND ASK WHY DO YOU EXIST YOU FUCKING MORON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I think he’s already been shaken. A lot.

    • Gee, Chris, I dunno! And yet there it is!

    • ariel_gee_398

      The Things He Doesn’t Get would be a great Seussian style children’s book:
      He does not get how to do “news.” He does not get when the crowd all boos. He does not get his many fails, in obsessing over Hillary’s emails.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Reminds me of my neighbor who asked me why Republicans would lie about BENGHAZI!!!!!!1!. I wanted to say “to get hayseeds like you to vote against their own interests.” He still believes Hillary ordered the military to stand down, because she wanted to kill her friend Chris Stephens, because of REASONS!

      • Edith Prickly

        I supposed the family of Chris Stephens is in on it too, and the only reason they keep saying they know it wasn’t her fault and telling the RWNJs to knock it off is because they don’t want to get Benghazied either…

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Of course, it’s the deep state!

    • Edith Prickly

      The clues abandoned Cillizza a long time ago…

    • Lyly Sirivong

      He reads people’s replies. He can’t NOT know.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        You’d think that were true any time now

    • Red Richmond

      Is he making a run at the title of Stupidest Person on the Internet? Because it feels like he’s trying to be the stupidest person on the internet.

    • Doug Langley

      Why does this guy get the big bucks when I can’t buy myself a good job?

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        Cruel world, Doug.

        Apparently you have to be missing a brain, to be hired as an expert.

        • The Flaming Carrot

          Neurosurgeon brains: $100/ounce
          Astrophysicist brains: $150/ounce
          CNN Journalist brains: $1000/nanogram

          Price is determined determined by supply.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        If you want to be rich, all you have to do is be willing to do anything to make money.

        And I do mean anything.

      • H0mer0

        I misread that briefly as “…when I can’t buy myself a boob job?”

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Could it be because he and the other Republicans think Putin supports their agenda and is going to help them establish their thousand year reich?

    • puredog

      I know it’s foolish, but Imma give Sleeza the benefit of the doubt and call that snark.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Liberal Women Don’t Luve Their Wee Babbies Because They Are Shallow Hoors

    I hate false piety and I truly hate hypocrisy. Anyone may believe what they wish, and I wil not stop them. But when your beliefs affect those who don’t follow “your god,” then you are aiming for a theocracy. I won’t stand for that, sorry.

    • I think my favorite part of the supposed study the dude did was that he started by saying men were not being good husbands….and decided to blame it on women not being good wifies instead of, idk, looking at why men might be not being good husbands.
      Which is kinda funny, because all the studies I have seen have liberal men as very good husbands indeed!

  • wavicles

    Some day in the future, when the world finally recognizes the value in what I do, you’ll be so swimmin in the bucks with me. For now, here’s a handful.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Not having Evan around to amuse us with his patented style of snark was barely noticed with megastar performances by Robyn, Dok, and especially that “Respectable Lawyer” guy/gal.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Evan enjoying a sexxxxxxy gaaaay vacay..?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        He deserves it. With any number of partners.

    • Zyxomma

      $5 Feminist too.

  • wait! what?

    OT
    The most important thing to know about gardening is that only one person gets to wear the “red gloves.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/90fbf8ecbd8018564879b2039d3007dbe61c2d71c146bacd00919289c44586a2.jpg

    • I don’t even care. They kept Michelle’s garden, and are using it for its purpose, and Melly seemed to actually enjoy herself for a change, with a real smile and not the fake Vaseline smile.
      Gardening is God.

      • wait! what?

        This is true. She went on record to say she’s committed to keeping it.

      • Serai 1

        Yes, absolutely. So what if Missy Fuck-Me Heels wants to stroll around and pretend to be a shepherdess like Marie Antoinette? That garden deserves to survive.

        • H0mer0

          she’s wearing sensible Keds

    • IdiotsforPalin

      Malaria had nothing to do with this garden. I bet she’s never planted anything in her life. This is just a photo op with black children who know more about gardening than she does.

      • wait! what?

        I’m thinking maybe wardrobe practice for her trip to Canada, too.

      • kareemachan

        And she SO looks like she’s enjoying herself.

        “Eess any ov thees nature theengs gettink on my hairs?

    • rebecca

      god Heather.

      • wait! what?

        Thank you for going there.

    • Covfefe

      You do what you know how to do. That’s why detectives keep MO files.

    • Doug Langley

      Flashbacks to “Gone With The Wind” where the snooty girl breathes her last.

    • Sophie McMillan

      love the young lady’s look at the wicker basket. All kindz of “wtf” kind of garden basket is that?

  • wait! what?

    Is Evan “Deep Stating” Infowars yet as an intern?

    • Edith Prickly

      I would give Wonkette extra moneys for that.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      WHY WOULD YOU BLOW COVER MAN..?

      Alex was just about to tell him where he keeps his stash….

      • wait! what?

        That’s easy. It’s in his yooge belly button, which is why Alex keeps taking off his shirt.

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          GOD I SMASHED MY HEAD SO HARD ON MY DESK TRYING TO ERASE THAT MENTAL IMAGE.

      • rebecca

        it’s in his desk drawer. this is a true thing i have from a reporter who profiled him and all his staff told him that.

        • Sophie McMillan

          anyone seen the latest Jones rant. Despicable even for him – takes on Kimmel and accuses Kimmel’s wife of causing the baby’s heart condition by vaccinations and shit.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            AJ is such a nasty pos.

          • puredog

            What’s “worth reading” (very wide Overton window here) is Trump’s speech in Alabammy. Christ, I’m beginning to think I do not like that man.

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    WT Alert – back again.

    Jesus, this loser needs help.

    • Naw, just a blocking and ban hammer. Though I can’t help but remind people that only Becca makes the rules, this being her house.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        He replied to Becca.

        What a dipshit.

        • careful now, we might be treated to yet another of the same slavering jaws meme. Oooo. Scary.

          • persistently_resistant_gayby

            Apparently I also post obscene materialz for minors.

            Hence I’m in the “WILL SOE FER MUNEE” list.

          • Shakin in the boots. I do like the new angle how people are being run off for being new.
            Instead of “I went apeshit because people dared to disagree with me, started impersonating them, and ran around being an asshole”
            Personal responsibility that.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          At least he didn’t do it as Dok. That was probably the most dipshittiest move.

        • puredog

          He likes to call Becca and Dok by those names, cuz they’re all homies an’ all.

      • rebecca

        yes, he is having a good time making new accounts every five minutes. what a fun hobby!

        • ariel_gee_398

          If only you could monetize trolls creating accounts.

        • I like gardening myself. To each their own!

          • persistently_resistant_gayby

            Need some weedkillerz.

          • (they call those hands)

          • Suttree

            I need to call my stepmother. She probably has some dried peppers for me to add to my tea. It helps with pain.

          • See? Gardening is so too god

          • Suttree

            I live on the fifth floor. Not much gardening up here.

          • 17th. My basil is miraculously alive still!

          • Do you have a window?
            If you have a window, and sunlight, you can absolutely garden on the 5th floor. Figure out which kind of sun you get (different plants respond differently) and get some containers ^.6

          • Suttree

            Eh. I really need ground to make the effort. I’m not a fan of pots.

          • Zyxomma

            I, too, live on a fifth floor, and although I have south-facing windows, can’t grow anything edible, because the plants always attract mice and I don’t have a cat. I do sprout, but that’s in jars.

          • Zyxomma

            I dried a whole array of different hot peppers — some from my CSA, others purchased at Union Square Greenmarket — and wove a willow branch wreath. I’m affixing the peppers to the wreath and mailing it to a friend in Pittsburgh, as soon as she’s out of the nursing home and back in her home.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I grew up on a farm. It’s hot, dirty work. I hate working with plants. And Republicans.

        • Suttree

          I knew it on the first day. Dok shoulda sent him away. I have a finely tuned assholedar. :)

          • rebecca

            he did. dude’s got nothing better to do than make new accounts.

          • New Person

            Would you want your daughters to read and see what some of the members you are defending post?

            Federal law prohibits the possession with intent to sell or distribute obscenity, to send, ship, or receive obscenity, to import obscenity, and to transport obscenity across state boarders for purposes of distribution. … For example, it is illegal to sell and distribute obscene material on the Internet.

            You do understand you are facilitating that Federal crime if you do not moderate your forum right?

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Allow me to explain something to you, since you evidently know as much about U.S. law as you know about geography and molecular biology. Whether something is “obscene” or not depends upon “whether the average person, applying contemporary adult community standards, finds that the matter, taken as a whole, appeals to prurient interests.” Saying “fuck off,” for example, does not qualify as obscene in modern society. Now go put butt cream on your horses or something.

          • Covfefe

            Wait. Has Donny Ding Dong signed an executive order that rolled back the first amendment? The intertubes and I gotta know.

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Nah, that law has been in place for a long time. 18 U.S.C. § 1460 et seq. Remember the prosecution of James Joyce’s Ulysses? It’s just that “contemporary adult community standards” is pretty broadly defined. https://blogs.loc.gov/law/2016/02/james-joyce-ulysses-and-the-meaning-of-obscenity/

          • Jennifer R

            No one has posting anything obscene and you also are 100% ignorant of safe harbor laws. Site owners are essentially never liable for what their users post.

          • CripesAmighty

            You too, huh? Didn’t say anything cuz didn’t wanna be wrong and be nasty to newbies. Oops.

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Who was it on the first day? Asking for a friend, or maybe a fiend.

          • Suttree

            Wolf Tracker

          • The Flaming Carrot

            So I thought.

          • Suttree

            The confederate apologist.

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Oh, I remember the posts about the horse flea and tick ointment, or was it butt cream.

        • New Person

          Would you want your daughters to read and see what some of the members you are defending post?

          Federal law prohibits the possession with intent to sell or distribute obscenity, to send, ship, or receive obscenity, to import obscenity, and to transport obscenity across state boarders for purposes of distribution. … For example, it is illegal to sell and distribute obscene material on the Internet.

          • Suttree

            How’s about go fuck yourself. If you had one leg to stand on you would still have to hop.

          • kareemachan

            Gee, yet another stupid name. And blocked.

          • amrak63
          • puredog

            Would it be obscene for me to tell you to lick my taint? IT WOULD? Then by all means, lick my taint, and you can toss my salad and lave my balls while you’re down there. Blocked.

        • CripesAmighty

          Still? Did his Mom forget to get him the latest version of DweebQuest XXXIV or whatever? Jeebus.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          It just occurred to me. Since the other mods get King after their nym, shouldn’t yours say Empress?

          • H0mer0

            I think the term is “Imperatrix”

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      Block and Report, Baby. He ain’t worth the further Bandwidth.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        It was fun when he was threatening lewsoots.

        Then it wasn’t funny with the impersonation.

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          I know. I’ve had Gamergaters impersonate me.

          • persistently_resistant_gayby

            Oh Christ – I just remembered what it is like to be a woman on the internet.

            Sigh.

          • Being a woman on the internet is like being a woman anywhere else.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      I’d fuck with it but I think blocked it. I’d give the troll points for persistence if it were a funny one.

      • persistently_resistant_gayby

        He got all the negative points when he took WITR’s name and started harassing folks.

    • rebecca

      does anyone know what he is talking about with the porn? did someone show an ankle?

      • Wrist too, shameless hussies

      • Woman posts pics of Thor often, but i’m the one who post naked John Barroman pics

        • …aaahhhll…be you know where

        • rebecca

          oooh, how’s his dong?

          • Pretty good. His husband’s is too. (For realz, his husband walked in front of the camera naked while Barrowman was livr on Faceborg)

          • Alternative Dog

            Hey! I thought your apostrophe was broken.

          • Marion in Savannah

            It got better.

          • Covfefe

            Well, compared to Donald, WT’s dong is competitive.

          • puredog

            He is extremely rich, by Vietnamese standards.

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          Plz re-post. I’m feeling lazy

        • Covfefe

          I’m more of a fan of Thor.

          • kareemachan

            I like both. I just binge-watched Torchwood.

        • Sophie McMillan

          Captain jack must always be seen nekkid

        • lroom

          Where are these pics of which you speak?!

      • Say What?

        Would you want your daughters to read and see what some of the members you are defending post?

        Federal law prohibits the possession with intent to sell or distribute obscenity, to send, ship, or receive obscenity, to import obscenity, and to transport obscenity across state boarders for purposes of distribution. … For example, it is illegal to sell and distribute obscene material on the Internet.

        You do understand you are facilitating that Federal crime right?

        • The Flaming Carrot
        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Again, with the sock-puppetry.

          GET OFF THIS PAGE YA FUCKING IMBECILE (sorry for the ableist word – but this guy has completely lost it).

          • The Flaming Carrot

            It’s probably CTE, caused by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

          • kareemachan

            Sad, that. Lulz.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            If someone wanted to take the trouble to note the times of all his posts under all his accounts, we could probably build up a pretty good picture of his middle school’s hours of operation.

        • kareemachan

          Such an unsilly lil’ asshat.

        • You really do not understand the law very good

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Surprise! Sessions actually spelled “borders” incorrectly. This is a block-and-copy from the DOJ.

      • amrak63

        Maybe it’s my fault. I think I’ve posted this pic here, and Wriggle Nightbug does bare her boo-tay in it.

        https://i.imgur.com/bDSUx2u.jpg

      • Jennifer R

        No one has posted anything or linked to anything, this kid is just making random shit up.

        • puredog

          Ditto. I might have porn open in another tab sometimes, maybe. That’s it. Mayhap he refers to the Tiny-Dick Donnie pictures? Now, that’s fucking obscene porn.

          • Jennifer R

            I’m not shy about sex being A Good Thing but that’s hardly breaching any legal standard that actually exists.

  • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

    Napoleon said “the Moral is to the Physical as Three is to One”, and even broke Big Girls need their heroes, so I treated myself on 2 different milk runs to Target this month:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/fd42104b148eeecdc6224ac5d499340f2c52cc7fa22e404ab0104d7e69010b40.jpg

    ands:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/81aa9ee17d053b1892e3ba84b381c857d8f8bb7b237f6635e133707af7df40d5.jpg

    With the Cap keychain I keep my fighting spirit with me always.

    • persistently_resistant_gayby

      Oooooh pretty!

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Love the bag!

      • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

        Thanx! My Bestie bought me the Steampunk purse for my Birthday this year.

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          That’s a good friend indeed

    • Walter Wellstone

      I don’t know much about wiminz purses but I can tell that’s one bad-ass purse.

      • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

        Thanx Hun. It’s a Steampunk bag. You can strap it like a holster or shoulder holster as well. :) I love it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I have a new mantra for the times when this shit really starts to get to me:

    https://twitter.com/LIGHTWorkersi/status/911616465090023424

    • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

      I know Cold Anger keeps me sharp, but it is messing up my sex life.

      • Johnatx

        Hi Anna, hope you’re well. Any new models you’ve painted?

        • Covfefe

          Mellon is a model. Painting Mellon wouldn’t really exactly actually be any worse than pulling locks of Hillz’s hair. I’ll see myself out.

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          Hi John, I’m doing well indeed, thank you. :)

          I’m all-but-done on another Weapons team for my Dust 1947 mercenaries, one more accessory to add.

      • Zyxomma

        Good to see you here, Anna Elizabeth. I hope you’re well, and hang out with us for a while. Virtual hugs from the east village.

      • lroom

        Glad to see you back Anna.

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          Thanx Hun. :)

          • The Flaming Carrot

            Who you callin’ a Hun? I’m a Pict!

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        Hi Anna!

        • Anna Elizabeth: Tank Grrl

          Hi! :)

    • Is a good quote, but on this the Buddha and I disagree. Anger, like any emotion, is not bad in and of itself. It is how you use it that makes it bad or good.

      • HorseChestnut

        Somehow, I agree with both of you: anger isn’t bad, but it does have a cost. Kind of like a useful tool that hurts to use.

    • wait! what?

      Why is angel spelled wrong?

    • The Flaming Carrot

      I agree. We can’t cover the world in leather, but we can wear shoes.

      • Red Richmond

        Long as we don’t have to wear pants.

    • BadKitty904
      • Rags

        Steven Chow makes entertaining movies – weird and funny although plots kinda tend to converge. Hong Kong Shuffle is my fave of his.

        • BadKitty904

          He’s somewhat similar to Terry Gilliam – brilliant eye for visuals, has a hard time keeping plots together.

      • Jamoche

        OK, that’s what a live action Dragonball should look like.

        • BadKitty904

          Pretty cool, no?

    • The Flaming Carrot
  • Swear to God, I thought grandbabby’s flotation device said “Petco” on first glance, making me wonder about the store.

  • CripesAmighty

    If you haven’t seen Joy Reid’s interview with Hillz, it’s remarkable. Of note is her masterfully diplomatic admonition to hold off on the Medicare-for All debate until ACA is secure (disclosure: still like Bernie but he really needs to STFU on this for now. Timing, people).

  • Serai 1
  • Kateaux

    Wonkette grandbabby has the same infectious grin as her Auntie Donna Rose does — someone here owes me a dose of insulin to counteract the sudden influx of sugar.

    P.S. Many thanks to our Trix for planting the image of Dok in the Slave Leia bikini in my brain…

  • Say What?

    You know Rebecca- maybe if you didn’t have a little clique of assholes that think they own the wonkette forum running off all the new people that won’t bend a knee to their agenda and posting obscene material to minors you might get more people to donate.

    Womaninpersistnce
    shanzgood
    Physc Dr  Jen
    persistently_resistant_gayby
    jesterpunk

    Those assholes are why you lose new members and donations.

    That and having a Moderator that won’t do his job.

    Just sayin…

    • CripesAmighty
    • kareemachan

      Gee, one wonders why your disqus profile is private. Probably so we won’t see the crap you spew on Breitfart and such places. Methinks this is sour grapes cuz you don’t have any camaraderie with *anybody*. Lulz.

      Oh yeah, forgot this: blocked.

      • amrak63

        Actually, the term of art is “Blightfart”.

        • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

          I like when they call it dead brietbart. Am I a bad person if that makes me smile?

          • puredog

            As long as you envision the death as having been occasioned by votes, you’re good.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Death by votes, got it! Thanks!

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            It always reminds me of the SNL skit “Generalisimo Francisco Franco… is still dead.”

          • little miss high and mighty

            Means: “Wide Beard” in German.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            No kidding, I was a Schwartzkopf in my first marriage. I was not real happy to be a “Blackhead”. But I do love the German language. It is so practical.

          • little miss high and mighty

            New Duden just out. 17th ed since 1880.
            since yo’re interested.
            Whateverhappened to that search for a way to capitalize the letter ß ? (rec. to correct for internettype misunderstandings etc.?

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Oops, should not have capitalized the translation, thanks.

          • little miss high and mighty

            no, we think there’s amisuderstanding- we were in no way correcting or anything- you did not even have a ß in your post.
            we were merely, non ironically and actually curious to know if you had heard anything about the new Rechschreibung fo the capital ß. We have been casting about for informaton on the issue because there have been no noticeabe changes anywhere.
            W did not notice your captalization.
            Heck we do not even do propers anywayze.
            That is important stuff, we know but we see nothing further online or anything.
            It was announced that grafickers or artists coul d submit proposals.
            We proposed our own dang selves one such Capital ß- just put another curve on top.
            No word from those slackers yet.

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Oh, thank you for clarifying that. That is interesting news. I hope yours is selected. : )

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            I have traveled there a few times and very much love the green attitudes and progressive thinking. I can’t honestly say I speak the language, beyond a few phrases. I truly wish I had the gift of being a polyglot.

          • little miss high and mighty

            Just go to where you want to speak and hang and hang till it sinks in.
            Alternately, there’s VHS (public classes etc)
            Some are required for the new immigrants.
            Films, plays,etc-immersion is the key.
            I M M E R S I O N

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Thanks, I have been trying to learn French as well. Great advice.

          • little miss high and mighty

            <>

          • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

            Let the good times roll. My best phrase is L’adddition s’il vous plait. (the check please.) Most of my other francais is food related : )

      • Jennifer R

        It’s wolf bugger from a few nights ago. This kid has a lot of free time.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          Teen woof.

          • amrak63

            Wolf Shitzer.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Sniff… I’m not enough of an asshole to be mentioned…waaaaaah!
      *sobs unconsolably*

      • amrak63

        [snark] Waaaaah, me neeeeeeither! [/snark]

    • Serai 1
    • Walter Wellstone

      Do we have minors here? That’s news to me.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        My history degree gives me a tuition minor here in europe. Maybe thats what he means?

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        and what was posted that would be considered obscene? Especially by
        Womaninpersistnce
        shanzgood
        Physc Dr  Jen
        persistently_resistant_gayby
        jesterpunk

        I think those are all old people posting from the senior center common room.

        • JD Mulvey

          He knows it when he sees it.

        • jesterpunk

          Hey I am not that old.

        • persistently_resistant_gayby

          Errr, I’m old on the inside – if that helps…?

          I hate younguns, discos too

      • natoslug

        Given WT’s flagrant disregard for spelling, maybe he’s concerned for the miners here. After a long day in the snark mines, some of us get a bit sensitive.

        • little miss high and mighty

          we salt miners.
          For reals!

          • natoslug

            They’re kind of flavorless otherwise.

          • little miss high and mighty

            shift over (one half)
            Flavorful, actually. We grabbed at low hanging late plums and pears on the way up to work.
            <>-that’s us!

      • little miss high and mighty

        hey WE gots minors- they(we) loves them some wonk so they’re good.
        showed us this site in the first and second place- and 3rd..

    • amrak63

      Get. A. Life.

    • Jennifer R

      The fuck is wrong with you.

      • puredog

        The walls of his mom’s basement are closing in on him. Very Poe-like (and not the internet concept).

    • amrak63
    • doktorzoom

      Just for the sake of clarification, here’s who owns this website: Rebecca. She actually makes the rules. Funny thing!

      If you genuinely believe Wonkette is in violation of obscenity laws. please take your complaint to your local FBI office. In person. But you have to promise to post the video, OK?

      • It’s just WT, Dok. I for one am all strutting that I /finally/ am getting a mention.
        Senpei noticed me!

        • doktorzoom

          Oh, yes, I know. It’s not like he’s subtle.

          Also, no, you don’t want WT as your sempai.

          • dang, it’s sempai.
            Know your meme fail *hangs head in shame*

          • doktorzoom

            Both are pretty much interchangeable. Technically, it transliterates to “senpai,” since there’s no “m” in Japanese — but it’s pronounced a lot more like “sempai.”

          • kareemachan

            And we say and spell “tempura” but the hiragana actually reads “tenpura”.

          • H0mer0

            and the Namekian Piccolo is spelled “Picoro”

      • Say What?

        Those rules are posted where?

        Where is the age warning so parents know to keep kids off this website because you allow people to post obscene materils?

    • BeachBum

      I am very, very, very, very, sads to know 2 things now.
      1. That I am not a part of the Clique Of Assholes, the COA. I have been assured for some time now, many decades in fact, that I am, indeed, an A Class No 1 asshole in many and most regards. Although, strangely enough, not so much on line. I will work to remedy that for future entrance evaluations for the COA.
      2. I most likely do not have the proper mindset to see very much, if anything, obscene here. TLM notwithstanding, I will pay closer attention, as I do like a good dik joke, as I have one, I think, (checks) yeah.
      3. I don’t remember when I last donated, but I think I will now.

      • puredog

        I, too, am apparently insufficiently assholic, no matter how hard I try. I haz a sad. Even though I apparently AM worth impersonating. (Perks up a little.)

        • The Flaming Carrot

          I was one of the first people to insult him/her. *I* should win the Lounge Suite.

      • Grumpy Twat

        It is probably for the best that I did not qualify for the COA.
        Nobody wants a twat for an asshole.

    • SisterArtemis

      yawn. manbaby has a sad that he was called on his bullshit. blocked. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e3cc92f404a2dcdeff16c4a958ff0b6c540bc070c8b48c669aa5d37eccb9bd4d.jpg

      • kareemachan

        This photo is perfection. I’m stealing it. Especially since flickers like to use our metal roof to make their territorial pecking sound louder at 6am.

    • puredog

      Allegedly Law Homunculus is back in Yet Another New and Fantastic Guise. Fuck him. If he’s one of the “new members” we’re going to “lose,” would someone please show him/her/it the door? Blocked.

    • dshwa

      I like those people. They’re, smart, funny, and insightful.

      You, on the other hand, you’re not any of those things.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        I have had numerous, positive interactions with all of those people.

        • H0mer0

          those are peeple?

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Ah, go put butt cream on your horse.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      You do realize that you’ve descended into self-parody, right?

    • H0mer0

      what agenda?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      I have a proposition. Send her a check for 250,000 Ameros right now with instructions that it can be cashed but only if she ban hammers those folks. Let’s see what she does to non-comment your check up your ass.

    • Jesse
  • The Librarian

    Oh, my, I missed that “lose God, you’re a hoor” article originally, so went back to read it. Since I could write a whole tl:dr flame on this, I’ll not bore anyone and just leave this here: dudes, you think you’re pointing to a “problem” and offering a “solution”. I don’t need moar religion, I need you asshats to stop telling me I have a problem. No problem, no problem, You Are the Problem. Seriously. 🙄

    • Courser_Resistance

      I’m so fucking sick of being told I’m ‘out of control’ if I get upset at being to basically sit down and shut the fuck up. Seriously, I’m in a mood about this.

      • The Librarian

        I know, right? It’s such a control freak attitude. Not the “good” kind where your spawn are total slobs and you put your foot down just because company is coming. It’s the horrible kind where you need to try to shame people into submission because you’re an ineffectual goober with low self esteem and you need to feel superior to others as a crutch. Fuck that shit.

      • An Outhouse for the résistance

        If you insist on not sitting down, where’s my sammich?

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Say What, New Person – no matter how many accounts you make, guess who is the number one prick around here.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/39510b0a849b07b2935d05cbc43d891e835ff255395c89e4eed68f60b17754cf.jpg

    • amrak63

      Probably not if you mean #1 in size… ;)

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Robyn’s hands are strong yet tender? I think I’d like to subscribe to her newsletter.

  • C4TWOMAN

    I don’t think most of the posse is up/awake/caffeinated..

    • SisterArtemis

      Awake. 1/3-caffeinated. But I got my dishes done (I try to do them while the coffee is brewing, because I’m groggy and don’t seem to notice that I’m doing them.)

      • shastakoala

        I made it to the couch. Slurping coffee. And my dog is here and she smells!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Of course she smells. She’s got a nose, doesn’t she?

        • The Flaming Carrot

          It’s so hot here in the Midwest, I gave my dogs a bath in the hose. Now they smell like lavender.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Steady, hoss. That sounds down right productive. Who knows what that could lead to…

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Pray for me. I am chairing my last HOA meeting…..

    • Covfefe

      You’re asking the wrong crowd for prayers. Would our thoughts do?

      • Covfefe

        Wait. Got it!

        Jesus loves me! This I know,
        For the Bible tells me so;
        Little ones to Him belong;
        They are weak, but He is strong.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Red and yellow to boot.

    • Walter Wellstone

      I’ll have a drink to you if that helps.

    • Johnatx

      You are a brave person

    • doktorzoom

      Just for laughs, you should declare yourself dictator for life and issue a directive that all homes must feature at least seven plastic lawn flamingos by Friday.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Well, I do have some of them, myself.

      • SisterArtemis

        For the first time in my life, the idea of being the chair/dictator of an HOA is having a certain appeal….

      • puredog

        Fighting an HOA is a perilous undertaking (unless, of course, you do not reside in said HOA).

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        What’s the correct flamingo/garden gnome ratio?

        • natoslug

          I have one Godzilla, eating four or five gnomes, and three flamingos. But the flamingos are a little over an inch high, so they probably don’t count. What I really want is thirty or so old toilets to turn into planters and set up along the edge of the driveway.

    • Good luck, Jeff! Knock em dead!

    • kareemachan

      I made my SO be part of the HOA board cuz he’s retired (I’m still working) and I feel needed to do something for our area. He forgave me after about a year. Of course, I still have to leave for work with him still in bed and a cat snoozing on either side of him.

    • Raan

      I can send you a good supply of hopes and dreams.

    • CripesAmighty

      HOAs are the tool of the devil. Last refuge of busybody microhitlers who couldn’t get elected Solid Waste Commissioner and rejected by police departments as psychologically unfit.

      • Jamoche

        I understand their utility for condos – we’ve got common areas to deal with, and yes we do have to pay for preventive maintenance and not just repairs on the shared water heater, you idiot. But why do people with detached houses put up with them?

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Will Buddhist chanting do?

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Something to do for olders who never got Student Council out of their system

    • little miss high and mighty

      tell them to allow clotheslines!
      Whup them hard if they vote no.
      with votes, whuppin, we mean.

      • Jeffocaster in the West

        Oh, we allow clothes lines.

  • shastakoala

    Where does one get a necklace like that? And only a cute little baby could get away with wearing it.

    • doktorzoom

      Dang, if that’s the sort of necklace you want, you should just ask, hon.

      • shastakoala

        Aww sweetie, you’re so good to me.

  • folderol

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d80cda944ce328bf1d25623770f936b9f3e7ddd030f507c54c65c2098ea377e7.jpg

    I used to put my kids in a pillory, too, as punishment. No fruits or veggies harder than a soft pear were to be thrown, however! I am not cruel.

    • doktorzoom

      This is more of a pillowry.

  • kareemachan

    In re floatation babby: My kid didn’t have that much hair til she was 3 yo.

    • Red Richmond

      I think our little guy was born with that much or more hair, but then he was huge (10lbs 12.2oz at birth) and gave his poor mom a helluva time pretty much all through pregnancy but especially by the end.

      • Red Richmond

        Comparison, here he is at a few months old. He was inn a mood, we thought maybe the football would entertain him. We…thought wrong.

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/84d0faff17bd341f065f431bc1ff620c0ed325194fb41412f15e93a7d3663312.jpg

        • What a handsome little dude.

        • The Flaming Carrot

          I know that face. It’s the “regrettably I have made doo doo” face.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            I thought it was the “you mean Trump is still predisent” face.

          • Red Richmond

            I think it was more of a “How DARE you try to appease me with this offering which is not what I wanted” look. Although, I have found myself using the same look regarding our current predisent more than a few times as well.

        • kareemachan

          OMG, that photo is amazing! ;-)

      • SkinlessGenderlessMan

        I’m put in mind of the Bloom County or Outland strip where the rabbit and Rosebud the basselope end up in a parental way. She is in labor…

        Rabbit: How are you feeling now?
        Rosebud: Like I’m passing a Volkswagen!
        Rabbit: Passing? Like zooming by….?

        • Red Richmond

          Hah! Yeah that sounds about right. At one point my poor wife, who is as kind and loving and big hearted a person as there is, yelled at me to shut up and then threw a pillow across the hospital room as hard as she could. To be fair though I probably deserved it.

          I miss Bloom County, it always seemed so spot on for the times. Not sure I’d want them to come back now though, these days are about too insane for the likes of Opus, Bill the Cat, et al.

  • SisterArtemis

    Best. Webmom. Evah.

  • Zyxomma

    They were all excellent stories, by excellent writers, but Doktor Zoom will always be my favorite. Doktor Zoom is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.

    • Notreelyhelping

      I’ve heard that somewhere.

    • H0mer0

      and which pony is best pony?

    • ahughes798

      Did he try to send you to the corn field?

  • thewalkindude

    Attention-the end of the world has been delayed until further notice…

    The so-called ‘Christian numerologist’ who alleged that the world would end on September 23 has clarified that the apocalypse has in fact been delayed. Speaking to the Washington Post, conspiracy theorist David Meade – who claimed that a mysterious planet would collide with Earth – is now saying that Saturday only marks the beginning of the end of the end of times. Indeed, Saturday will see the beginning of a number of cataclysmic events that will occur over a number of weeks, that will lead to our demise. ‘The world is not ending, but the world as we know it is ending.’

    Carry on with your day

    • CripesAmighty

      I demand a refund.

    • C4TWOMAN

      So I still have to do work?
      This blows!

    • RMKH

      Damn, I just blew my 401k at Jim Bakker’s website.

      Anybody want to buy some powdered cheese?

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Same time next year?

    • BJW

      Crap. If it was just going to be the Rapture the rest of us could’ve started fixing the world after all the Christians were gone. Damn.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        Personally, I would have been offended if I had been “taken up.” The “left behind” people are much more interesting.

    • kareemachan

      Good! Gives me more time to sell pet insurance to the rapturedites. You know, take their money and promise to take care of their pets after they float away….

    • SeeTrain65

      “So there will be another thousand years of fundraising.” – David Cross

      (The part I refer to is from 16:42-19:21.)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2OQXQYQaZ8

  • CripesAmighty

    Teevee alert: shortly the NK Foreign minister’s gonna troll the shit out of Dump…er, address the UN.

  • Say What?

    doktorzoom King Say What? • an hour ago

    Just for the sake of clarification, here’s who owns this website: Rebecca. She actually makes the rules. Funny thing!

    If you genuinely believe Wonkette is in violation of obscenity laws. please take your complaint to your local FBI office. In person. But you have to promise to post the video, OK?

    ….

    Those rules are posted where?

    Where is the age warning so parents know to keep kids off this website because you Dok and Rebecca are allowing and encouraging people to post obscene materials?

  • New Person

    doktorzoom King Say What? • an hour ago

    Just for the sake of clarification, here’s who owns this website: Rebecca. She actually makes the rules. Funny thing!

    If you genuinely believe Wonkette is in violation of obscenity laws. please take your complaint to your local FBI office. In person. But you have to promise to post the video, OK?

    ….

    Those rules are posted where?

    Where is the age warning so parents know to keep kids off this website because you Dok and Rebecca are allowing and encouraging people to post obscene materials?

    Federal law prohibits the possession with intent to sell or distribute obscenity, to send, ship, or receive obscenity, to import obscenity, and to transport obscenity across state boarders for purposes of distribution. … For example, it is illegal to sell and distribute obscene material on the Internet.

    • JD Mulvey

      Lol. Call the FBI.

      • dshwa

        Somebody created a whole new account just to post this nonsense. Must have run outy of Tostinos.

        • Jennifer R

          It’s this guy name Wolf Bugger who got real mad that we didn’t fall for his Tie Nazi bullshit.

    • dshwa

      Lol wut?

    • Notreelyhelping

      New Person sounds a lot like a repeatedly banned old person. About the only source of obscenity here comes from Turgid Member, and that’s because of intention, not content. Maybe these two should hook up. No videos, please.

      About the only consistent peddler of genuine obscenity I can think of is the NRA.

    • Jamoche

      Look, can we help it that Donnie looks like that?

      • H0mer0

        you mean like he’s wearing his merkin on his head?

      • OrdinaryJoe

        You referring to our Prezndint? Dotard Pee Covfefe?

        • Jamoche

          The DOTUS – Dotard Of The US.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Oh, so that was your kid’s homework. I wonder what his or her school thinks of cheating. Or was it your horse’s homework?

    • The Flaming Carrot

      For the last time, it’s “borders,” not “boarders.” Stop relying on that numpty Jeff Sessions to check your spelling for you. And, just as a reminder, since you are doing your child’s homework, the Virgin Islands, Cuba and Puerto Rico are not called the “Florida Islands.”

      • H0mer0

        maybe he meant licensing board(er)s rather than lines of demarcation. Obscenity is in the mind of the perceiver. I happen to think it’s obscene for the wealth to be concentrated in the bank accounts offshore of the wealthy so that they avoid paying taxes on riches they made off the backs of the poor.

        • The Flaming Carrot

          I agree with your definition of obscenity. I also think that the word is misspelled in the Department of “Justice” (ha!) web site and that Wolf Tracker simply blocked and copied it, because he/she/ze is a numpty, just like Sessions. How quickly Wolf Trackers alleged “ideals” went out the window when he/she/ze was challenged.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Do we have a candidate for “Dear Shit fer Brains”? I believe we do. Tired, sad, legalese concern troll is still concern trolling. Is this Larry Klayman with the bad lawyering and the thinking of the chilluns?

    • Lee Hillhouse

      Why am I always late to the troll parties? Fuckity fuck fuck. Now I’m angry.

    • Left Coast Tom

      You know…if I tell you to “go fuck yourself”, which is what your screed deserves, while “fuck” may be an “obscenity” in the sense of being a swear word, it’s not the slightest bit obscene in the sense that federal law implies. In fact, in this instance it’d be protected speech under the First Amendment.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Go get ’em Tom.

      • natoslug

        Well that’s just your fucking opinion, man . . .

        Okay, and maybe the law.

    • natoslug

      Of all the hoofwanking bunglecunts in all of bunglecuntdom, you are the hoofwankingest. What in the hells are you going on about now? The Internet exists almost entirely for the transmission of obscenity. Well, that and cat videos. And shitty conspiracy theories. So pr0n, cat videos, and conspiracy theories. And dick jokes. So the four things that the interwebz are here for are porn, dick jokes, cat videos, and conspiracy theories. Oh, and recipes. In conclusion, please go see a doctor and get that head trauma looked at, because it appears to be affecting your ability to human.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Please. Don’t eat any more of that old paint on the sills of the basement windows where you are living.

    • Jesse
    • HazooToo

      I have been saving this for a special occasion. I think this qualifies. http://i.imgur.com/EYSScVp.gif

      • jesterpunk

        Ok that is an amazing gif. You win all the internets.

        • HazooToo

          <3 Bless you, my Dear

      • Jennifer R

        Yeah I need to save a copy of this.

      • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

        This looks like a job for….Rick Santorum!!

      • Canned Covfefe

        I came over from open thread cause ya said to. It’s well worth getting fucked over by disqus when I go back.

        • suziq

          It does make sense in the context!

        • HazooToo

          It’s nice to have something fresh, after all that canned covfefe!

      • DainBramage

        I’m so stealing this.

      • Red Richmond
        • HazooToo

          I need that gif!

    • Jennifer R

      You still don’t understand laws and at this point I am sorely tempted to start posting porn just to rile you up more.

    • Zombishroom

      UR DUMB.

    • Saxo the Grammarian
      • unclejeems

        Oooh, la la! Apres de ma blonde . . .

    • ahughes798

      To hell with children, yours in particular. Keep ’em in a cage ’til they’re 25, if you’re so worried about their purity. Because life’s gonna be fucking ’em up the arse in an augenblick, with votes. Your concern is noted. Fuck off.

    • LeighBowery’sLuxuryComedy

      There’s obscene material on Wonkette? Where? Damn, y’all been holding out on me. Oh. Unless you count Grumpy Gramps complaining that the Young’uns might get essposed to thoughtforms he finds objectionable; that’s pretty gross (if predictable). Just remember, if you don’t like it, you can’t have any. So there.

  • Zombishroom

    I love all of the Wonkettes equally but for different reasons like a good parent with their children but I secretly have my favorites. I’m a bad wonker.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Just tell us.

  • H0mer0

    great news! my sons and I liberated the chipmunk from our kitchen and freed it back outside and named it Gregory (after Gregor Mendel the monk.) The dog helped with her awesome nose (even though she smells awful)

  • phoenix00

    Both Robyn and Dok are on a roll!

  • VeronicaRHorn

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !sk213d:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleOnlineSetEasyTechJobsOpportunities/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sk213l..,..

  • dslindc

    Were these even chosen by Beyoncé (allegedly)?

  • george lastrapes

    It just occurred to me. We weren’t wiped out by Nibiru. Why?
    What if the Nibiruans realized they wouldn’t have to waste a perfectly good death star to destroy the earth because our pussychopathic PeeResident has taken that job on himself?

    • NellCote71

      Is Nibiru anywhere near Nambia? Asking for a friend.

      • george lastrapes

        If it was, or were, we wouldn’t know, because it’s invisible. And it didn’t collide with earth. How such a planet is different from no planet at all, I haven’t the foggiest.

  • John Mruzik

    I may just be a humble drunk country doctor, but did I miss a troll?

  • Sarah Smith

    Rebecca, I would double my monthly donation if I could, but I can’t because of circumstances, so I can only offer you extra encouragement at this time. I look forward to reading Wonkette. If I every come into a windfall, I promise to pitch in more. Good luck.

  • SharonRClark

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !sl354d:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleHomeCashJobsSourceOpportunity/earn/hourly ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sl354l..,….

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