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Morning Wonketariat! Before we get started, we need to thank Lisa, a St. Louis wonker who’s helped out @KillerMartinis and me by letting us stay in her lovely home/gallery/art space while we cover the continuing protests in St. Louis. Now here’s some of the things we may be talking about today!

Since zombie TrumpCare won’t die, here’s a breakdown of how bad states will get fucked under Cassidy-Graham/TrumpCare.

Republicans are stepping on the gas for tax reform in a last ditch effort to send a $1.5 trillion tax cut for the wealthy to crash land on the backs of the icky poors.

In a new op-ed, Wilbur Ross mansplains NAFTA. You can read it, or you can join us in saying, “Oh, go fuck yourself, Wilbur Ross!”

Trump’s people gathered in a smoke filled room to bitch about re-reshaping US climate policy in their neverending effort to try and wipe away B. Barry Bamz’s mark on the planet.

There’s word coming from the Hill that HUD’s Community Block Grant Program will be gutted so that the poors will have a much harder time getting their hurricane relief AND Meals on Wheels. Suck it, poors!

According to Jeff Sessions, there are “wolves in sheep’s clothing” crossing the border and posing as innocent DACA recipients — just waiting to huff, and puff, and blow your glass houses down.

Betsy DeVos admits that she too scoots around ‘Murica on her own private jet, but she also pays for it. Come on, can we please be a little more discriminating with the point?

Head hunters in Washington and beyond are seeing a deluge of resumes from staffers who are looking to bail out of the Trump train.

A new study has found that all the shitty lead-tainted water in Flint, Michigan, has caused a huge rise in fetal deaths.

Goons belonging to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan got in ANOTHER fight after protesters stormed a speech he was giving in New York. Good thing Trump just complimented him on their close, deep personal friendship.

As Trump moves to ratchet up more sanctions, Kim Jong-un responded, calling trump a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard.” LOL, the threat of nuclear holocaust is hilarious!

If you hated Obama’s Not American drone policy, you’re going to love Trump’s now that the US is actively considering MOAR drone strikes and GI-Joe commando raids.

As Germany braces for its election Sunday, it’s holding fast for an onslaught of Russian propaganda fake news.

Mark Zuckerberg is super sorry that he took all those Ameros to spy on you and let Russia mind-fuck your drunk uncle into voting for Donald Trump.

LOLOL Sally Yates might be Tiffany Trump’s law professor at the DC school for smart kids and douche nozzles who want to be lawyers.

Fox News ALLEGEDLY has a standard of journalistic ethics and (SHOCKINGLY) even Fox’s evil corporate overlords don’t see Fox and Friends as a legit news source.

The Daily Stormer is having a hell of a time keeping its basement dwelling neckbeards up to date with all their Nazi crap, and its founder is currently hiding amongst all the other white people in Iceland (for now).

And here’s your late night wrap-up! Stephen Colbert figured out Paul Manafort’s secret spy words; Jimmy Kimmel is trying to bury zombie TrumpCare; Seth Meyers took another Closer Look at Zombie TrumpCare; The Daily Show took a gander at Hurricane Mueller

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Baby Rhinos!

It’s readers like you who keep us alive and kicking many asses, do your part today!

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  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • coozledad

      Or of Donald’s tennis shorts.

    • The Wanderer

      “Something smells yeasty! Who’s brewing beer?”

  • bookish

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/22/trump-aides-staffers-departures-white-house-242990

    Many who joined the administration in January did so with the explicit idea that they’d stay for at least a year, enough to credibly say they’d served. But in the aftermath of a wave of abrupt, high-profile departures over the summer that culminated with former strategist Steve Bannon’s ouster in August, aides up and down the chain are reaching out to headhunters, lobbyists, and GOP operatives for help finding their next job.

    Staffers from the National Economic Council—where director Gary Cohn is expected to be on his way out altogether after tax reform or onto a different role—as well as the communications shop and beyond are quietly exploring their next moves. They’re talking to headhunters about positions as in-house government affairs experts at major companies, or as executives at trade associations, universities, or consulting firms – ironically, jobs that run counter to Trump’s “drain the swamp” mantra.

    • BadKitty904

      “ironically”?

      • pstokk

        Hey I often misspell “predictably” as i-r-o-n-i-c-a-l l-y. It happens.

    • MrTusks

      It’s cute that anyone thought this wouldn’t be a total embarrassment to everyone involved.

  • BadKitty904

    OK, Zuck, how ’bout you pay, then, to, say, have America’s voting machines updated and secured.

    • pstokk

      We could also talk about nationalizing critical digital infrastructure, since obviously the private sector does not place a high enough priority on its corporate civic responsibilities, and it’s arguably close to being a utility. I’m sure that there’s a solution to maintain and reward innovation even with public ownership. We will be facing these questions soon, might as well test some solutions.
      A discussion like that tends to focus the minds of corporate types wonderfully.
      Pretty sure that Zuck personally has long ago reaped the rewards of his undoubted business genius, risk-taking (I guess) and technical brilliance (I’m generous here maybe?). Likewise risky initial investments have long since been rewarded.

      • Suttree

        That was snark after the first sentence, right?

      • BadKitty904

        Works for me. The occasionally shot-across-the-bow from We Th People does America’s oligarchs a world o’ good…

    • MrTusks

      Oh god, could you imagine the wingnut outrage the next time a Democrat won so much as dog catcher? The accusations that the machines were fixed would continue to the end of time.

      • BadKitty904

        The system is only broken if someone other than a Republican wins.

  • Nounverb911
    • BadKitty904

      Your Tax Dollars Not at Work.

      • Oblios_Cap

        There is no better way to use them, obviously.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        It would literally be better to hand out 450,000 one-dollar bills for use as toilet paper.

        • From Russia with Love

          Or whatever bill Tump puts his face on.

    • therblig

      not to worry, taxes will rise from the asses.

  • Oblios_Cap
    • BadKitty904

      Just in case, you know, they might have forgotten that he’s bugfuck crazy…

    • bookish

      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

      • bookish

        Ooops, sorry, no good link.

      • pstokk

        I couldn’t agree more!

        • bookish

          /Bows.

    • MrTusks

      Whoever runs this account has a J.D. in Poe’s Law. I know it’s fake, but it could so easily not be.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I find this totally believable

  • Nounverb911
    • Oblios_Cap

      Pretty awesome.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      That is so wrong in so many different ways.

    • Suttree

      Are they asking me to vomit on their carpet?!

  • TundraGrifter

    President Trump is a wolf in cheap clothing.

    [h/t Buggs Bunny]

  • Oblios_Cap

    As Trump moves to ratchet up more sanctions, Kim Jong-un responded, calling trump a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard.”

    It’s amazing how L’il Kim is looking like the more sane of the pair. The press keeps talking about how N. Korea is “provoking” us, but no one wants to call out the US for the provoking we keep doing.

    • BadKitty904

      I’m impressed that North Korea speaks better English than the Dotard.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Congress: “We’re happy to announce that The Zuck’ accepted our ‘Friend Request.’ “

  • Nounverb911
    • Hemp Dogbane

      Trillion?

      • Nounverb911

        Not enough zeroes.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          What are you talking about? Congress is full of zeros.

    • Suttree

      if only there were more sane people in Louisiana.

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      That is one evil-looking Mf’er.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    Worth a repost….again and again….

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKUstvrUIAAQXq8.jpg

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Zuck That Guy!

  • CafeenMan

    Any normal person can look at a person like Zuckerburg and see that any person that looks like him should never be in charge of anything without knowing anything else about him.

    In fact, there should be a panel of normal people who are shown photos of billions of people and then give thumbs up or down as to whether those people can ever be in charge of anything.

    That would solve tons of problems.

    If a person was given a thumbs down then any time a person is in line to become a military commander or elected to any office or may become a manager or CEO then their face is entered into the database and compared to the thumbs-down people.

    If there is a match then they don’t get to be any of those things and always have to be a generic employee or service member or whatever.

    Thus people like Zuckerburg and Trump never would have been inflicted on us.

    • From Russia with Love

      This would ensure that Graham-Cassidy would just be Graham.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Smartest Guy in the Room Syndrome

    • Hemp Dogbane

      So we would be ruled by square-jawed morons with unrealistically good hair? Wait, never mind.

      • PubOption

        Rick Perry?

  • From Russia with Love

    One of the few baby animals featured here that I don’t necessarily want to own.

  • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

    As Trump moves to ratchet up more sanctions, Kim Jong-un responded, calling trump a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard.” LOL, the threat of nuclear holocaust is hilarious!

    STOP MAKING ME AGREE WITH KIM JONG-UN!!!eleventyone!!

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      It’s funny how Kim Jong-Un had the exact same weapons during the previous administration as he does today and yet I didn’t wake up every morning during the previous 8 years suffering anxiety over the possibility of nuclear annihilation.

  • Oblios_Cap
    • Daniel

      How, exactly? With fire and fury like the world has never seen? Or something real?

    • therblig

      as opposed to a businessman who doesn’t mind denying healthcare to his people? when does he get fucking tested like never before?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Motherfucker is already talking about launching a live nuke over Japan. By all means, let’s keep escalating.

    • BadKitty904
    • beingreleased

      The weird thing is I hope this is one of those bad sitcom scenes where they both make bigger and bigger threats while walking backwards and hiding behind trees.

      • therblig

        that actually happened in our neighborhood once around 2 in the morning about 25 years ago. we heard loud voices and looked out the window to see two guys, one holding what looked like a large kitchen knife and the other holding what looked like a gun. they both kept screaming shit like “i’m gonna fuck you up, motherfucker!” and brandishing their respective weapons as they backed up and eventually reached intersecting streets. then they took off in opposite directions.

        nowadays, thanks to gentrification, it’s more about PBR vs Microbrew.

    • From Russia with Love

      “And the results will go on his permanent record.”

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Not to be confused with Kim Jong Un of East Davenport, Iowa.

      • The Wanderer

        That guy must get a lot of phone calls.

        • From Russia with Love

          Lots of Twitter threats, too.

      • From Russia with Love

        It’s important to be specific. Like Los Angeles, California, USA.

      • Daniel

        You joke, but you can guarantee if there is some Korean immigrant with a name even vaguely similar anywhere in Real America, Trump supporters would be harassing the fuck out of him.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      “Kim Jong Un doesn’t mind killing his people and neither do I.” – DJT

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Graham-Cassidy
      Shovel Ready

  • Bill D. Burger
    • From Russia with Love

      Did you ever know anybody who had a burro? If so, this photo will mean something to you.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      That one’s gonna stick.

  • beingreleased
    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Le sigh.

  • arglebargle

    What’s the Tea Party’s take on RHINOs?

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    Oh Boy, I bet there’s an anagram there:

    DONALD TRUMP –> DOTARD NLUMP

    Meh. It’s still funny.

    • Daniel

      Nlump is the name of the first Nambian president following independence.

    • From Russia with Love

      Shit, I can only get as far as NAMPLA.

      • Hemp Dogbane

        North American Man-Pol Love Association.

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

      LUMPN DOTARD?

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Oooh, me like.

    • Mary Theresa
  • MrTusks

    It can’t be overstated how much of a scumbag Betsy DeVos is. The only time she ever worked in a public school, her entire contribution was plucking out the one kid she was “mentoring” and sending her to a private school.

    PS: The kid was her housekeeper’s daughter. Guess what the kid did for a summer job?

    • BadKitty904

      She is just as corrupt and evil as her brother (no, I’m not kidding), Erik Prince, founder and head of Blackwater, the mercenary army…

      • MrTusks

        Contract killing is more honest work that whatever the hell DeVos has been doing.

        • BadKitty904

          Evicting widows, enslaving orphans, etc.

      • Paul Dietzel

        I think I could forgive her brother for running a mercenary army sooner than I could her husband for running Amway.

        • BadKitty904

          It’s like Dr. Evil had more than one kid…

    • The Wanderer

      Polishing Betsy’s cloven hooves?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Yeah, that part of that article where DeVos was praised for getting the girl a job (cleaning DeVos’s house) was just stomach turning. Think DeVos’ kids cleaned houses during the summer? Or were they able to get cushy unpaid internships at daddy’s firm?

      • MrTusks

        Uh, unpaid?

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Because kids like those in the DeVos family can afford to work without getting a salary, while kids like her mentee need the money and can’t take those positions.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Red Bird

      Why do they pronounce his name M-uh-ler and not M-oo-ler or even Mu-oo-ler?

      • Maggielle

        My guess is that once upon a time there was an umlaut that maybe got removed at Ellis Island. An umlaut would make it harder to pronounce, but it would be consistent. Now it’s a free for all. We just have to get him in front of a microphone to introduce himself, and then use that pronunciation.

  • BadKitty904
    • Bill D. Burger
    • Courser_Resistance

      I woke up at 5 to drive Lyft and just couldn’t do it. So much for my get-rich-quick scheme.

      • BadKitty904

        Chin up – there’s always the Lotto!

        • Red Bird

          How’s Florida? Did yall get any of Maria’s rains?

          • BadKitty904

            Cool (for us) and breezy today, as Maria is passing up the coast – offshore – today and tomorrow.

      • Maggielle

        Sorry I don’t know your exact situation, but if you’re looking for cash now and then (won’t get you rich quick or slow, but will put some $$ in your pocket), check with local caterers. I’ve made some money from time to time being a caterer’s helper at fancy parties. You check your ego at the door and follow directions. Last one I did was for a guy’s 50th birthday party. Everyone got nice and happy and drunk, and I kept the food passed around, picked up dirty plates and napkins, kept the garbage and recycling sorted, made sure the piano player always had ice water, and in the end I went home with leftovers and a huge tip on top of the fee, because of the drunk and happy part.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Wild Cat

      I won’t read the fucking twaddle, but the WaPo has an opinion piece by a scum-sucking Moran telling us that the pseudo-president and his minions are normal and we’d better fucking accept it.
      Fuck the media and our media morons.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Liberals! Owned by huge, liberal organizations. George Soros and Saul Alinsky, too, also.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Yes, every president had brought us to the brink of nuclear war because he got engaged in a dick measuring contest with a loony dictator. That’s just FACT.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Normal by whose standards???

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Mark is going to end up reduced to telling everybody don’t blame him, the whole thing was the Winklevoss twins’ idea.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Congressional Republicans will be debuting their “Wheels on Meals” program this afternoon, complete with a steamroller and several turkey dinners.

    • Suttree

      Why not a dumpster with some armed guards?

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Wait – so does this mean the Russians know which Golden Girl I would be?

    • Shanzgood

      I’m either Blanche or Rose. Sometimes both.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Rowr!

    • Suttree

      You are the drunken ornery one.

      • Shanzgood

        The tiny momzilla lady?

        • Maggielle

          I have a 70+ year old friend who reminds me of her, except my friend is even prettier and more vibrant and smarter and I lurve her. She’s from Arkansas and has all the good Arkansas stuff and none of the less good stuff, and she (as well as her late husband) is a big Obama fan (they have signed pix from him for donations) and supported Hillz.

          I had to share, couldn’t help it.

      • Gayer Than Thou
    • Blanche, or GTFO

  • Randy Riddle

    Can we have some different news, please? There’s too many dotards and not enough dick jokes here. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7871c98075e1c297a2bb174a03a92413efd26313e45cac0ab3edbc7a66ff9be5.jpg

  • Shanzgood

    Ok Bill and NV911, are you two having some sort of contest?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Ya’ findem’ you gotta’ sharem’! ___ Scanning three screens. I do need to dial it back for a while! Time for a second cup of covfefe.
      (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)👌

      • Shanzgood

        I have “hide media” switched on so I rarely see them.

  • beingreleased

    “A new study has found that all the shitty lead-tainted water in Flint, Michigan, has caused a huge rise in fetal deaths.”

    So I’m a bit unclear. If a fetus dies because of PbH2O in Flint, who should be charged with murder: the mother who should have known better than drink public (communist) tap water or the government officials who gave it to her. I’m going to go with the mothers. They’re poor and therefore morally responsible for every bad thing that happens.

    • Shanzgood

      Well, obviously. Women should always be punished for bad pregnancy outcomes.

      • Suttree

        That is the point of the laws. Beyond the slutty sluttness of course.

    • Daniel

      Also, they have uteruses.

  • Nounverb911
    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Who cares about control, as long as they still make money.”

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Well, NYT at least they’re not then publishing articles that swallow the bullshit whole and present it as gospel.

  • Suttree

    I guess that you really can buy your way into any school.

  • Ellie

    Fetal deaths in Flint don’t matter, as long as the women aren’t having abortions. Because nothing else matter. Let them drink wine.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Lead was just the Lord’s way of letting those babies into Heaven early.”

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Facebook seems to be a site where people try to appear happier and more successful than they really are to their friends and family.

    Trump has made a career out of pushing an extreme version of this illusion about himself. Pro-Trump Facebook ads and “news” stories fit right in to this. It’s a natural match; interesting that it took people from outside the US to see it and exploit it.

    • Oblios_Cap

      LD – We were looking for you yesterday. Someone said you were meeting with Trump.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Latveria is more concerned with really crises like the Reed Richards situation or the Wakandan stranglehold on Vibranium than whatever a mere American President is up to.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I think of Facebook as a place where that mythical drunk, racist uncle actually lives and thrives. But yeah, a perfect fit for Donnie.

      • bbayliss

        Mythical?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Well…for some of us.

          • Major_Major_Major

            I call mine Dad.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • bbayliss

      USA USA USA…never mind.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911

    So when does trump apologize to Erdogen again?
    https://twitter.com/TurkeyUntold/status/910961409508483078

    • Oblios_Cap

      Yeah, those Turks will be invited to join the EU any decade now.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I hope Melania doesn’t hear about this!

  • Ezio

    Fox News calling itself “fair and balanced” while the vast majority of their anchors (ESPECIALLY the ones on Fox and Friends) are just whiny white people who think everything and everyone is out to get them is the most ironic thing I’ve read all week.

    • Bill D. Burger

      FOX News: Fairly Imbalanced. We Distort: You Abide

      • Ezio

        Don’t forget the CLASSIC time that Tucker Carlson thought a Marvel comic with a black Captain America was “attacking conservatives” because the villains were the Sons of the Serpent, a literal white supremacist group that already existed in the comics for decades.

    • Duke

      Ya start with the big lie and the rest falls into place.

    • Covfefe

      Well Ezio, do you know anyone who isn’t out to get them?

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    “Home/gallery/art space”. Hmmm. I’m seeing some possibilities here for putting off vacuuming and basic home maintenance on the Fortress of Solitude for another year or two. Thank, Dom!

    • :D

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s not dust, it’s an art installation.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I like to call it “organic, evolving art”.

    • “Fortress of Solitude”…..nice.

      I call my place the Casa de Entropia

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Ooooh, that’s perfect. Dunno if you feel the same way, but when you work hard all day building/fixing, the same tasks at your own home can seem overly daunting. Something something “cobbler’s wife”…

        • I’d designed and built several custom beds for clients before my futon mattress ever made its way off the floor.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            *laughs uncomfortably*

      • Maggielle

        I’m getting ready to think about where to hang my hangable decor (aka art), and I’ve been here two years, so that’s not too bad for me. I’m still saving up for an actual sofa to replace the free love seat I was given, and you can’t plan your gallery without the sofa.

        I’ve tried to give away the love seat but i can’t find a Salvation Army or Goodwill locally to take it. It’s nice, clean, and sturdy and is guaranteed bed-bug free (our apartments were inspected by Bed Bug Dogs) but it’s not big enough for me to sprawl on when I’m feeling despair. So it’s craigslist for me, and I am very shy and hate craigslist, so I give me another month or two to work up the nerve. Yes: small apartment, low income, and still totally all about first world problems.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    The weird thing about Facebook’s ads is how generally crappy and low-rent they are. It’s interesting that what I would think of as top-tier advertisers just don’t use it. The ads I see are barely above the crepey-skin ads we used to get. Which I admit may be, you know, a function of my internet browsing history.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Are they using actual sidebar ads, or are they using sponsored posts? The things that show up in the newsfeed and the “you may be interested in” are way more insidious, imo.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Get the FB Purity extension and you won’t see those ads… at least not if you’re on a real computer. I’m an Old, so I don’t Facebook on my phone.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        I see both. I really resent sponsored posts and “you may be interested in,” and “Friend likes product.”

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Rocket Man….Rocket Man…..”

    “I show you Rocket Man…..you old senile dotard.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKVInMOUMAAKrNH.jpg

  • bookish

    Hey, you know who I miss around here? Yr gma. Been a long time.

    • Shanzgood

      She quit because of an article she found offensive.

      • bookish

        Thanks. I did not know that.

        • Shanzgood

          I wish she’d come back, too.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Really? Which one?

        • Shanzgood
          • alwayspunkindrublic

            That seems relatively benign on the general offensiveness scale, but I guess we all have our sore spots.

          • Shanzgood

            It was the boomer-slam in the final paragraph that did it.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I can’t speak for anyone else, but I would hope she understands that from time to time, I come across things here that really rub me the wrong way; I suspect most of us do. My rationalization is that, in the long haul, these are mostly very decent people who I have a lot more in common with than not, so don’t sweat the small shit.

          • Shanzgood

            I know. I was just explaining, not judging.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Roger that…it’s just too bad to lose a good non-commenter.

          • Maggielle

            I hope she’s just taking a break. When other people actually post about missing you, damn, that means you’re needed and valued. And I’m a full-blooded middle-of-the-pack boomer. Don’t tell anyone, but I live more like an extremely non-rich millennial. Or maybe GenXer. I have to brush up on my generational stereotypes and trends.

          • Oblios_Cap

            I’m a boomer and I didn’t even notice. I guess I was eating my avocado toast.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            See, there’s a reason not to read all the way to the end but instead jump to the comments that are not allowed.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Boomer-slam sounds like a Denny’s special.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Or what happens a couple hours after eating a Denny’s special?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Personally, I prefer the Millennial Slam at Dennys; crusts removed from the bread, sippy cup, and staff on hand to cut up your food for you if needed.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Is that avocado toast or just bad butter? Only one way to find out…

          • PubOption

            With kangaroo meat.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            or a Hooters appetizer.

          • ariel_gee_398

            Or what happens to a handsy Hooters’ customer.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Well that’s confusing because that article was about protecting the Gramma’s of this once fine land. Whatever, it’s too bad.

          • Oblios_Cap

            I don’t see the offensiveness…

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Hells, if I walked away everytime I found something offensive I’d be in China by now. Luckily I come here to be offended!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ghenghis McCann

      How long until they’re flinging their poop at each other?

    • Relativicus

      Trump sitting at the front of the class? Yeah, no.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Republican children enjoy pestering their RINO moms.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Major_Major_Major

      Thanks man. Now I have an image of Pendejo Naranjo bouncing that thing off his uvula, and it’s prolly gonna be stuck there for a while.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • little miss high and mighty

      He’ll develop buyer’s remorse.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Should have read the small print in the warranty.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Trump was so cheap, if you stops working, you just throw him away and buy another.

    • therblig

      Putin: We sat here right in this room and went over this and over this!

      Manafort: Yeah, but that TrumpCoat–

      Putin: I sat right here and said I didn’t want no TrumpCoat!

      Manafort: Yeah, but I’m sayin’, that TrumpCoat, you don’t get it and you get oxidization problems. It’ll cost you a heck of lot more’n five hundred–

      Putin: You’re sittin’ here, you’re talkin’ in circles! You’re talkin’ like we didn’t go over this already!

      Manafort: Yeah, but this TrumpCoat–

      Putin: We had us a deal here for nine-teen-five. You sat there and darned if you didn’t tell me you’d get this car, these options, without the sealant, for nine-teen-five!

      Manafort: All right, I’m not sayin’ I didn’t–

      Putin: You called me twenty minutes ago and said you had it! Ready to make delivery, ya says! Come on down and get it! And here ya are and you’re wastin’ my time and you’re wastin’ my wife’s time and I’m payin’ nineteen-five for this vehicle here!

      Manafort: All right. I’ll talk to my boss. See, they install that TrumpCoat at the factory, there’s nothin’ we can do, but I’ll talk to my boss.

      • folderol

        “I can’t read these numbers on the ballot counts…”

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        I wish I could upfist this more than once.

  • Ezio

    Interesting that the very same people who constantly say that they’re pro-life, pro-baby and always claim that there are harmful things in the water have remained mostly silent about the Flint Michigan water situation.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      To them harmful things in the water = Black teenagers at a pool party.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      They care more about birth control in a women’s blood stream than lead in her (and her kids’) drinking water.

    • georgiaburning

      Outside of the “Mission Accomplished” banner they put up privately

  • Me not sure

    Donnie. The demented doddering dotard of dispicable deplorability.

  • MrTusks

    If (when) Trump gets impeached, will he still get lifelong Secret Service protection and intelligence briefs?

    • therblig

      yeah, but luckily neither he nor the agents will be paying much attention.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Pedantics corner. Bill Clinton was impeached, and still gets Secret Service protection.

      More useful comment. A President removed from office by the Senate (after impeachment by the House) would still be a target of assassination, presumably, and should be protected. Maybe Trump can just borrow a few dozen of Erdogan’s thugs.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      I don’t see why former presidents would get intel briefings.

    • Relativicus

      He wears boxers, I’m certain.

    • pstokk

      He can have the protection, he’s gonna need it. But the SS will have to invest in polonium detectors.
      As for his briefs, the less said the better.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Boxers. Not briefs.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      In the federal clink clink, you mean?

      But Nixon probably had SS protection until he took his dirt nap… Anyway

      Hopefully Donnie will just hire his usually sycophantic goons because he won’t want the pesky SS agents bearing witness to the ratfuckery he and his will inevitably do when he is no long encumbered with the office of the Presidency.

      • MrTusks

        Tricky Dick resigned and then got pardoned. I was interested in a situation where Trump gets kicked out and is walking free, either in lieu of or following a prison term.

    • Suttree

      3 hots and a cot. That’s relatively safe if he’s at an ADX Florence.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Probably. Trump doesn’t strike as someone who wears boxers.

  • Elvis Causticfellow
    • LesBontemps

      “Melania’s not here, man.”

    • Bill D. Burger

      Fav lately was her intoducing him and, when she finished, he rushed over and shook her hand……shook her hand and ‘shooed’ her off like he had no idea who she was. Just someone who introduced him.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0Nqzct1mD0

      So pitiful and embarrassing …….. in a number of ways. rotfl

      • I swear his last words to here were, “you go sit down now…”

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          You are correct.

  • beingreleased

    Charity plug: Hope you don’t mind, I’d like to recommend a charity for all you American roots music lovers. Music Maker Relief Foundation supports indigent blues, folk, and country musicians by helping to provide them with housing, instruments, and opportunities to record. They also help young musicians learn form these older, often under-appreciated musicians (The Carolina Chocolate Drops were a Music Maker band). I just renewed my donation today and ordered some music. They are based in NC and do great work. /plug

    • From Russia with Love

      Sorry, need more rebar and microporous filters for the shelter I’m building.

  • Nounverb911
  • Relativicus

    As for alternate captions on the President Zuckerberg pic, we would have also accepted “Oops, I pooped myself.”

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    “Oh, go fuck yourself, Wilbur Ross!”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I wen to a Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan speech and a hockey game broke out.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Interesting.

      Fear of dying from a nuclear exchange is a GREAT distraction from Mueller’s investigation of Trump Crimez, LLC

    • YoBunnyBunny

      So… provoke the dotard into a hot war with North Korea, with all that’s going in Syria, Iraq and Afghanistan still and Trump throwing shade at the EU, UN, and NATO? Couldn’t say it’s unreasonable for Pooty to want the US too stretched to answer to any of Russia’s expansionist ambitions in Europe.

  • After getting out of prison, Gravano spent time in witness protection and moved to Arizona, where he lived under the pseudonym Jimmy Moran.

    You can’t make this up. Then he got caught dealing X through a White Power gang.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/afa24894bd7c9db41b2054bf69d00abfbf272feb3a2368791d6dfe4cd6256442.png

    Who on Earth buys X from White Supremicists?

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      I have never asked my dealer what his political affiliation was but since he is black i doubt he was a white supremacist.

      • Skaarphy

        That’s racism!

      • If he’s not Been Carson, probably a safe bet

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        This reminds me that the other day, I heard someone refer to Idris Elba as an “African-American actor”. I said, “No, he’s not!” The person I was talking to kept insisting, “Yes, yes he IS! He’s African-American!” Took me a good 5 minutes to convince her that, as someone from England, Mr. Elba cannot rightly be called “African-American“!

  • Mary Theresa
    • TonyaCFerber

      Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
      On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
      !sj378:
      ➽➽
      ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleCornerFinanceReportsOnline/online/easytasks ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sj378l..,…..

  • Nounverb911
    • Erala Contratista

      Dotard!!!

  • Ezio

    To a “libertarian”, “socialism” is a more disgusting word than any racial epithet. Think about that.

    • Oblios_Cap

      When I see “Libertarian”, I read it as “selfish asshole”.

      • folderol

        You forgot “greedy” and “sociopathic”.

      • ariel_gee_398

        I see “gay and/or pot-smoking Republican.”

        • You forgot “wife swappin'”

        • From Russia with Love

          Another beer I owe you.

      • From Russia with Love

        Republican who smokes pot.

      • Sister Suffragette

        “My life is pretty good right now, but it would be even better if I didn’t have to pay taxes.”

      • pstokk

        You often read about them advocating setting up floating cities, or Mars colonies or something else that will free them from government oversight and taxes.
        Seems like a lot of trouble and expense. Turkish Air, among others, has regular flights to Mogadishu.

      • bewareofme

        Zuckerberg to a T.

  • Joe Beese

    While we remain under the shadow of Graham-Cassidy, I’m reluctant to go full-bore “Thanks, Obama” on this drone stuff.

    But, man, I told you. I was That Guy who just wouldn’t shut up about it. Got myself banned from MetaFilter (not an easy place to get banned from) over it.

    Sometimes I hate being right.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      War mongers gotta war. I saw this also too. the MIC needs it’s fix, and drones were the current $$$ du jour.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I look forward to the Democratic Primary debates between Zuckerberg, Oprah and Jim Webb.

  • folderol

    If I wasn’t still alive, I wouldn’t need healthcare. Who’s fault is that?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Gawd’s

    • Joe Beese

      You were warned.

      • From Russia with Love

        Yet you persisted.

      • Finnibar87

        Stop being born, sheeple!

    • Bill D. Burger

      “You can’t explain that.” ___ Bill O’Really’

    • Finnibar87

      Blame oxygen!

    • Nockular cavity

      Blame your parents. That’s what I do!

  • Bill D. Burger

    The real Rocket Man! (I know….very tenuous relationship to the topics…..but, it is funny!)

    https://twitter.com/gnuman1979/status/902339273126543360

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Betsy DeVos admits that she too scoots around ‘Murica on her own private jet, but she also pays for it.

    What? No old pickup truck?
    https://media.tenor.com/images/615a6fb0f8b456dd3e4cac3dbf2b37f0/tenor.gif

    • Joe Beese

      You know he’s got Grey Poupon.

    • Ezio

      What Trump’s broke, working class base really identifies with is someone who flies around in her own private jet.

  • Ezio
  • laughingnome

    Can we say dotard in the non-comments?

    • Bill D. Burger

      Comments aren’t allowed…even in the non-comments! Wonkette Supreme Rule #1

    • eggs ackly-wright

      Sure. Tardis is OK, too.

  • Finnibar87

    Today’s GOP: now almost all are craven little bitches.

    • OutOfOrbit

      and look at miss Lindsey — the craventy is turning his skin to chicken-fat yuk-colors

      • Finnibar87

        Miss Lindsay got a brief reprieve from me for a moment there.

        It has passed.

  • Nockular cavity

    the shitty lead-tainted water in Flint, Michigan, has caused a huge rise in fetal deaths.

    The culture of life!

    • Oblios_Cap

      It was Gawd’s will. He loves us all, you know.

      • Weird Fishes

        almost as much as He loves poisoning poors, apparently.

        • bewareofme

          Melanin-rich poors especially. The best kind to poison it appears.

    • TakingAmes

      The Republicans accidentally stumbled into a pre-birth genocide!

  • MynameisBlarney
    • little miss high and mighty

      makes one pig-bitin’n mad, i tell ya

      • Mike Steele

        ooh, we’re def borrowing that!

        • little miss high and mighty

          Ed Anger
          (we keep old issues of every single magazine and newspaper ever printed. Several languages)
          Loves W W N- Angry Ed was their standout.

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Maggielle

        Nathan Fillion is naturally gif-gifted.

    • laughingnome

      Dr. my eyes!

    • theblackdog

      *vomits copiously*

      Also no Latinx in their right mind would ever touch Alex Jones.

  • laughingnome

    No dotard! No dotard! You’re the dotard!

    • Bill D. Burger

      (👍≖‿‿≖)👍 👍(≖‿‿≖👍)

    • Mike Steele

      Nah…Third Fatty is an entitled youngster…sorta reminiscent of Donald in his youth, which is why Trump gave Kim his props (on the record) for inheriting a kingdom.

  • Marceline

    I really think we are going to see nuclear war in our lifetimes. Hell, we’ll see it by Christmas.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Two narcissistic lunatics with nukes playing chicken – we’ll be lucky to make it to Thanksgiving.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I hope we do. I love a Thanksgiving dinner.

        • NastyBossetti

          Canadian Thanksgiving is in about 2 and a half weeks. Celebrate early!

          • Oblios_Cap

            Or twice!

          • NastyBossetti

            I live in a Canado-American household, so that is what we do! We throw a big house party at our place for Canadian Thanksgiving. Then we go to someone else’s house for American Thanksgiving.

          • Finnibar87

            While America celebrates a genocidal madman on loan from Spain, Canada is giving thanks Columbus never made it that far north.

          • Weird Fishes

            what can I bring? Iodine tablets?

          • NastyBossetti

            You sound like a well-prepared guest!

          • Celtic_Gnome

            With Trump in the White House, iocaine is the preferred gift.

      • Lord Jim

        And Trump is making noises like noises like he wants to scuttle the Iran nuclear deal. Because TWO nuclear-armed madmen are twice as good as just one.

        • Notreelyhelping

          Three.

    • Parakeetist

      Yipes

    • theblackdog

      I just want one day where I don’t read something the orange one said and think “We’re all gonna die”

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I don’t read to get that …

    • Fortunately we’ll all have state based insurance markets to cover the pre existing burns.

    • Mike Steele

      MS and I are convinced we’ll see it the moment Mueller is ready to call him in.

  • Joe Beese
    • ariel_gee_398

      He says, unironically, while pushing for a “health care” bill that will kill Americans.

    • Finnibar87

      Not the madman! Not the madman!

      YOU’RE the madman!

    • Nockular cavity

      Fuck. Now they’re competing!

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Yep. Global annihilation over a dick measuring contest. I’m stoked.

    • BadKitty904
      • Joe Beese

        You know those times he Became President because he managed to read a speech off a teleprompter without picking his nose?

        You won’t believe how much he’s gonna Become President when he starts really killing (non-white) people.

        • AJ Milne

          ‘This is the war crime in which Trump became superpresident.’

        • BadKitty904

          And when he starts killing American people.

          • Joe Beese

            Well, no, that will be a matter for “concern”.

          • BadKitty904

            So sad, but so true.

      • Lord Jim

        CANNOT BE SAID ENOUGH.

        • BadKitty904

          It very literally cannot. American lives are at stake.

          • Trip Space-Parasite

            Not just American.

    • Joe Beese

      And Trump won’t say what will be on the test!

      Pop quiz, asshole!

    • Bill D. Burger

      Oh Donny………….SHADDUP you fucking…

      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKUlNRgWAAAhG_9.jpg

      • Weird Fishes

        Whoever thought we would thank N Korea for anything other than funny Kim Pointing at Things memes?

    • YoBunnyBunny

      While he himself doesn’t seem to be at all bothered by Duterte killing his own people or even law enforcement in the U.S. of A. killing his own people. Actually, last we all checked he was very excited about getting to killing Bad Guys.

      Fuck this guy with a dirty crowbar of votes.

  • colo303

    Yet they STILL won’t remove Nazi scum when requested.

    • phoenix00

      They ARE Nazi scum.

  • Finnibar87

    Apparently it never occurs to the GOP that folks paying for their or a loved one’s health means they have no coin for other goods.

    Not a good thing in a consumer based economy.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Rack up credit card debt and get a reverse mortgage when you get older. That way the banks get everything.

      • Finnibar87

        And now?

        No more sissy Dodd Frank laws!

    • Joe Beese

      It’s not rational – even in the interest of their own greed – to kick out Dreamers. But prejudice never is.

      They hate poor people. This will make poor people suffer. That’s the only thing that matters.

      • bubbuhh

        They also hate furrinerz, so they double dotard hate poor furrinerz.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        “It’s not enough that I succeed, everyone else must fail” the Republican Party motto

        • TakingAmes

          Subheader; I got mine, fuck you.

    • kaydenpat

      As long as the rich get their precious tax cuts, Republicans don’t care about the poor and working class. They’ve made that abundantly clear.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Yeah, this.
      Remember when GW’s advice on how to respond to 9/11 was “go shopping!”?
      Remember when country was attacked, it sucked really, really bad and the Prez said “go to Disney World! and also go shopping!”?
      Relive the EIGHT major economic missteps in George W. Bush’s presidency.
      http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1872229_1872230_1872236,00.html

      • Mike Steele

        Remember when GW left nation on the brink of financial collapse, just before BO instituted draconian steps that saved our bacon?

  • Mpeg

    ♪”Mairzy- dotards and dozy-dotards and li’l lambs…”♫
    Nah — doesn’t quite have the same ring to it~

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Yeah, what is a “dotard?”

      • sincarne

        An elderly person whose mind is going.

        • Mike Steele

          BTW, it’s pronounced dot-ard, not do-tard, as RWNJ & MSM do.

      • tomamitai

        An old who’s dependent on Social Security and votes republican.

      • TundraGrifter

        Someone who watches Fox and thinks it is “news.”

  • Serai 1

    Zuckerberg can go FUCK HIMSELF, the slimy little homonculus. Jesus, I can’t BELIEVE anyone ever fell for his bullshit!

    • kaydenpat

      And he thinking about running for President in 2020. Ugh.

  • AJ Milne

    German election thing honestly is making me a little twitchy. Quiet. Too quiet.

    Don’t have to tell wonkers, but anyway: now’s about when a last ditch dump of cooked from partially true bullshit would happen. Pass nothing along, remind anyone attempting the same that’s probably what it is, if lurid.

  • PubOption

    I like the use of ‘schooled’ in the WaPo article about Tiffany Trump and Sally Yates.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “tiffany – let’s talk about all the ways your dad does illegal shit.”

  • Dept. of Space Tacos
  • calliecallie

    That baby rhino is adorable. Who’d a thunk it?

    • Bitter Scribe

      Yeah, apparently they’re not so adorable once they grow up, in the wild at least.

      • sarafina

        Neither are people.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I just caught a new regular freelance gig. If I’m lucky, it’ll be enough to cover the 7x rise in my health insurance premium once the fuckers do their fucking.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Yeah. That.

  • Khavrinen

    “LOLOL Sally Yates might be Tiffany Trump’s law professor at the DC school for smart kids and douche nozzles who want to be lawyers.”

    I’m thinking an apple for the teacher probably isn’t going to cut it.

    Even if it’s a Mac Pro…

  • Querolous
  • andyshelt

    “GOP Congressman Tells Flood Victims: ‘At Some Point God Is Telling You To Move’”

    And the asshole of the week award goes to…………(opens envelope)
    Rep. Jeb Hensarling (R-Texas)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/28811221084d7e626b00f9566dc537f147c284b14d4b057908441bcc4f57f73f.jpg

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jeb-hensarling-flood-victims-god-telling-you_us_59c4b2a2e4b0cdc773303765?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    • jowgajen

      Except for the mythical sky father part, and the part where he’s talking to victims of a 1000 year flood, he’s not particularly wrong.

      It’s stupid that we are continuing to pay for the reconstruction of homes in flood zones. The WSJ did an article on a house in Texas that has had 22 flood insurance claims in the past 40 years. We’ve rebuilt this fucking house on the taxpayer dime multiple times. It was *just* finished being repaired from the last storm when Harvey hit.

      At some point it makes more sense to just pay to relocate people than to build *again* on a flood plain with no requirement for stilts, regrading the lot, etc. So, while he’s still a douchebag, he’s a douchebag with a rational point.

      • HazooToo

        This is true, but his point doesn’t really say “pay people to move”, it just says “move”, which keeps him squarely in Doucheville. And I’ll wager that if you asked him if reconstruction costs should be applied to helping the poor relocate, he would say no. Which would put him six feet under the lowest douche in Doucheville.

    • sarafina

      I called Hensarling’s office to tell the person answering the phone that while I despise Hensarling’s politics generally, I kind of agree (have a 3 strikes you’re out rule), although compensation should be given. Spending millions repeatedly on the same houses is nuts.

    • SeeTrain65

      Great, Jeb. Now tell the builders who support you not to build on flood plains.

  • Russia celebrates wrong killing stick blames internet http://tinyurl.com/y76wfe4y

  • TonyaCFerber

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !sj379d:
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  • SeeTrain65

    Mark Zuckerberg: He’s sorry; he swears.

    Fixed those punctuation marks for ya.

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