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In a letter to the editors of South Carolina newspaper The State, former teacher Winston McCuen issued a solemn, plaintive plea: WHY OH WHY CAN’T WE EVER GET TO SAY THAT SLAVERY WAS AWESOME?

That is what McCuen thinks anyway, and that is also why he is not allowed to teach anymore.

The letter, titled “Teach truth about the virtues of slavery,” explains that slavery was good because John C. Calhoun — seventh Vice President of the United States and a rather notorious racist — said it was good. And he wouldn’t lie, would he? So therefore slavery was good.

Oh, well, if this guy says so…

McCuen writes:

The recent controversy about Confederate monuments and flags ultimately revolves around one man and one question. The man is John C. Calhoun, the great philosopher and statesman from South Carolina, and the spiritual founding father of the Confederacy. The question is: Was Calhoun right or wrong when he argued, from the 1830s until his death in 1850, that the South’s Christian slavery was “a positive good” and “a great good” for both whites and blacks?

You know what? He’s not wrong. Arguing to keep those monuments up, no matter how hard one tries to present it as a mere desire to “preserve history,” is ultimately about being allowed to cling to the belief that slavery was not so bad.

If Calhoun was wrong, then there may be grounds for removing monuments and flags.

He was and there is!

But if Calhoun was right, the monuments and flags should stay and be multiplied, blacks should be freed from oppressive racial integration so they can show the world how much they can do without white folk, the Southern states should seize their freedom and independence, and the North should beg the South’s pardon for the war.

Conveniently, John C. Calhoun was NOT right, and neither is Winston McCuen.

Calhoun’s views are unpopular today because, since 1865, the Yankee-imposed education system has taught all Americans that the South’s Christian slavery was evil and that everyone is equal. But unpopularity cannot make a truth untrue, and popularity cannot make error truth.

No, dear. Calhoun’s views are unpopular today because he was a racist and an idiot. Also, a very bad human being. Who was wrong. Deeply, deeply wrong. Just because a view is “unpopular” doesn’t mean it is the secret truth that the Yankees, the Red Sox, or anyone else is trying to trick you out of believing in order to prevent you from being happy.

Of course, due to the First Amendment, McCuen does have the right to believe, stupidly, that slavery was a great time for everyone involved. He can also believe that the earth is flat or that vinegar can keep chemtrails from hovering over his house. He can believe any number of lies and impossibilities.

What he is not entitled to is anyone going along with him, or anyone teaching the 100% non-existent virtues of owning human beings as chattel. He doesn’t get that. And he shouldn’t get his monuments, either.

This is, unfortunately, not McCuen’s first foray into the public sphere. In 2006, his hateful views led to him being interviewed by WLTX-TV, which — in turn — led to his dismissal as a public school Latin teacher.

Isn’t he just a peach?

[The State]

Wonkette is ad-free and HATES SLAVERY. Tip the kitty, please.

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  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • Joe Beese

      Much as I love Foghorn Leghorn, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a Confederate sympathizer.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        Hence the satire?

        • Joe Beese

          So Henery Hawk is us and Foghorn Leghorn is this slavery-loving doofus?

          • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

            That’s how I always understood it as a kid.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    He seems . . . ummm . . . on second though, no he doesn’t.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    “John Calhoun, if you secede from my nation I will secede your head from the rest of your body.” – Andrew Jackson

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      …and that’s how Andrew Jackson prevented the Civil War.

  • James Baskin

    “the Yankee-imposed education system”
    Doggone it, it’s those damn yankees again.

    • laughingnome

      Damn Yankees!

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Latin sounds like something snooty Northern elitists would want.
      Lotta call for Latin in the South?

      • PubOption

        You might need it if you go to Latin America – Dan Quayle.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        I took Latin in a Florida public school. My teacher even had an identical twin who taught Latin up in Jacksonville.

        • HellhathnofuryDemme

          Southern elitists!

          Actually, my daughter took three years of Latin.
          (But I think that had something to do with the Senior trip to Rome.)

  • ManchuCandidate

    To all idiots who love slavery… Why don’t you show all of us how awesome it was to be a slave by you know being one?

    • BadKitty904

      Historically speaking, I don’t recall a mad rush of people begging to be enslaved.

      • Major_Major_Major

        It’s kind of a niche kink, but I don’t judge.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          If only the slaves in the 1800s had a safe word, or could just leave the relationship if they wanted, it wouldn’t have been so bad.

      • Red Bird

        That might be his point.

        • BadKitty904

          You think he has one? I mean, other than self-justified bigotry?

  • mardam422

    Why stop there? What if Hitler was right? What about Pol Pot? Maybe the Egyptian kings were right, too!! And let’s not forget Trump. What if he’s right? HENNGGHHH!!???!
    What a fucking asshole.

  • Major_Major_Major

    This year, The Red Sox are trying to tell us (Sox fans) that they can compete for a World Series without ANY power hitting.

  • TJ Barke

    OWNING. PEOPLE. IS. NOT. OKAY.

    • armed_bears

      Tell it to Chase Manhattan.

    • therblig

      no, but PWNING them is.

  • memzilla Ω

    This guy was a public school Latin teacher? What a cunc.

    • fredoandme

      i laught OUT LOUD!!!

  • BadKitty904

    When Mr. McCuen has served a lifetime in slavery, then I’ll listen to his opinion.

    • Joe Beese

      I hear the slavers are hiring.

      • BadKitty904

        So to speak.

      • Major_Major_Major

        Hiring lawyers. And their lawyers are hiring lawyers.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Qualem blennum, podex perfectus es.

    • armed_bears

      Huzzah for a Catholic education!

  • armed_bears

    OK. My naive faith in the basic goodness of people may be misplaced.

    • BadKitty904

      I’m sticking with cats.

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Even after the election, my glass is half full, dammit.
      Will I never learn?

  • HellhathnofuryDemme

    Latin?!
    Hopefully his views were not aired much in class.
    (I feel bad for any children of color he had, though.)

    • laughingnome

      Was he Latin American?

      • HellhathnofuryDemme

        Doesn’t sound like it.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      He was an accusative head case.

  • anon_the_great

    What if there was a Whatif

    • Three Finger Salute

      Whatif? Nah, he sounds like one of them Ay-raabs. Like Omar Sharif or Sans Serif.

  • beingreleased

    Look, I’m just sayin’, maybe we should teach the controversy.

  • WotsAllThisThen
  • DerrickWildcat

    The reason I see all the time is that being a slave was actually way better than having to live in Africa which totally sucked.

    • OrG

      Yeah…no.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Totally. You have to drive a Toyota Land Cruiser, and it’s a stick shift. Barbaric!

    • arglebargle

      I hear Nambia ain’t that bad.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Today, we are all Yankee Doodle Dandies.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8wxb-wwQnA

  • Crank Tango

    Shit, I spent last winter reading up on slavery in the Caribbean and was actually surprised to find out it was even more fucked up than I assumed.

    And one overriding thing I learned was the slaveholders etc. were always terrified of a slave uprising, and still are.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      In the Caribbean, the slave owners either fled or were chopped up with machetes. The slave owners here kept their money, power and plantations.

      • Crank Tango

        I forget which island it was, (Martinique I think?) that is still run by some of the old families. Talk about awkward.

      • coozledad

        The ghost of Toussaint L’Ouverture still haunts them.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Flash forward about 200 years to why Foxconn installs suicide nets and chains their workers to their stations. You can’t have slavery without exploitation of labor. This is why they’re doubling down on defending it. Not only the obvious racial issues. Criticizing it gets too close to that slippery slope of socialism.

  • BadKitty904

    atWhay ayay umbassday.

    Parse that, porkchop.

    • mailman27

      One of the lost languages.

  • laughingnome

    I thought Mcuen was a poet

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Wouldn’t you know it.

    • SDGeoff3

      It depends on what you consider poetry.

  • Joe Beese
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I think this story requires some mood music:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Just putting “Christian” in front of “slavery” doesn’t make it better.

    • Zombishroom

      Oh come on, it makes everything better!
      Christian rape,
      Christian murder,
      Christian thievery.
      Let’s try:
      Christian sodomy or Christian abortion and see if it sticks.

    • BosGrl

      It might actually make it worse.

  • memzilla Ω

    Mark Twain, in Life on the Misssissippi, wrote about a particularly venal crime against slaves that was popular in Missouri: escape and resale.

    The slavers would convince a slave to run away from his owner, let the slavers “recapture” him, and then say they’d give the slave a cut of the reward they would get from the original owner upon his return. Sometimes they would do this two or three times. However, since the slavers could be identified by the slave, the scheme always ended with the slave being murdered and thrown into a swamp to be croaked over by the bullfrogs.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • Canis Greyhame
    • arglebargle

      Pepto Spice

      • coozledad

        Sorry, I should have seen this. Senescent dyslexia.

        • arglebargle

          great minds n’at

    • Anna Rompage

      Sweet little baby jeebus, is she wearing a hot pink bath robe?

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        At the UN. Today.

        • coozledad

          Reminding the entire world it could use a shot of Pepto Bismol.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Scroll so that you can only see her from the bust up and it’s even worse. That’s what I was seeing on the tv.

  • Thank’s to Google Translate I’ve got a little latin shout out to McCuen:

    Hoc est douche hoofwanking bunglecunt

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Stercore omnis divisa in partes tres.

      • Miss Dill

        Did Caesar say that, too?

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’ve always been amazed by how Calhoun always looks like a disheveled lunatic in every picture I’ve seen of him — even in portraits where, presumably, the artist could have made him look like less of a psycho.

    • OrG

      Maybe he WAS a disheveled lunatic.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        He definitely was. The photos don’t lie.

      • anon_the_great

        Syphilis was all the rage back then

        • Mehmeisterjr

          Calhoun died of tuberculosis.

          Most people think TB is a bad thing but what if, what if it is a good thing, both for the bacterium itself and for the host?

          In that case, we should seek to spread it as much as possible or at least keep an open mind about basic sanitation.

          Also entitled to the benefit of the doubt: cholera.

          I’m just asking you to think about it and agree with me.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        But that may have been a good thing, both for lunacy and dishevelment.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The portraitist’s job is to capture the essence of the man.

      • coozledad

        Jackson was apparently in interminable agony from a dueling injury. (Carried a bullet in his ribcage for a couple of decades) He deserved every fucking minute of it.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Unless the artist doesn’t like you or makes your portraiting a living hell. Look at some of the paintings of British royalty from back in the day. They all look like puffy pink inbred morons.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Right. “Look like.”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Fashion changes over the decades. Puffy, pink and inbred was all the rage then. It was a sign you were successful and powerful. Also, gouty = good.

    • coozledad

      He looks a little bit like that Cassidy golem. Jackson certainly fucked as far west as Natchez, where he owned a significant share in the slave entrepot. That’s close enough that some of his sprog could have moved on to do evil in LA.

    • That *is* the “less of a psycho” look.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Sure, maybe John Wayne Gacy was wrong, but what if he was right?

    • Same can be said about Idi Amin, if you know what amin.

      • Historical debate. Idi Amin vs Trumpy for Worst President Ever. Idi’s still ahead, but like Trumpy he started his term as only a regular dictator-oaf.

  • Moebym of the Returners
    • Panika MCD

      that can’t be protected speech.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Wait, didn’t Little Green Footballs use to be a hardcore right wing site?? Dogs and cats living together!

      • Moebym of the Returners

        Yeah, it was. Apparently Charles Johnson had a coming to Jesus moment a couple years back, and switched sides.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          Mary Magdalene always hoped for a coming to Jesus moment.

          • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

            Depending on who you ask, she did! *wink wink*

          • Three Finger Salute

            She didn’t know how to love him.

        • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

          Crazy! I remember them going bonkers over a Cindy Sheehan cartoon I drew of her stopping a tank driven by Bush and Cheney. I gotta get out on the internet more!

    • BosGrl

      If it was their child, or their parent, or their sibling or spouse… Why do people suck so much?

    • Meccalopolis

      What the actual fuck

  • BigCSouthside

    Umm… Wtf is Christian slavery?

    • Anna Rompage

      Forcing a draconian, old testament christian to bake a gay cake, at the same time I ram my gay rights down their lily white, virginal throats?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Philemon has an epistle about it.

    • JMP

      The race-based slavery that was practiced in the United States before the Civil War, which was often justified by invocations of portions of the Bible which say that slavery is perfectly OK, proving that the Bible is absolutely horrible as a guide to morality.

  • SDGeoff3

    John C. Calhoun and Dr. Oz separated at birth?
    Discuss.

  • Panika MCD

    I have a better idea: instead of taking all of the Confederate monuments away from Mr. McCuen, let’s give them all to him in much closer proximity. I voted we drop all confederate monuments on Mr. McCuen’s property so that he can lecture passing motorists on the CHRISTIAN GOOD of both the monuments and why he is waving his dick at them.

    • Werewolf

      How ’bout we drop them on his head (with votes)?

      • Panika MCD

        I thought about that, but decided it violated the noncommenting rulz. where your imagination takes you is your business…you can only make it mine by getting your butt over here to buy me a drink.

      • Panika MCD

        also too: idea for ATX meet up. let’s go to the TribTalk with John Sharp next Friday!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    He’s taking the James Damore approach by being half right. Slavery was good for white people.

    • Infrequentcontributor

      Um, no. Not really. No.

  • BearGHAZI

    If he wants, he can come do my dishes and laundry. And I can beat him.

    • anon_the_great

      Don’t forget the joys of rape and enslavement of the product of the union

      • Paperless Tiger

        Slavery and rape are big since the GOP made it their platform.

    • coozledad

      And sell him away from his family.

  • Anna Rompage

    Notice it’s always the white folks who try to imply slavery wasn’t so bad?

    • anon_the_great

      No, there are some crazy black men and an occasional woman who say the same shit.

    • SDGeoff3

      Oh! Please get them to discuss the Japanese-American internment camps. You will find out how “happy” the residents were. My sister’s Japanese in-laws gave us quite an education on that little item.

    • clubseal

      Which, unsurprisingly, is fairly ignorant, given that plenty of white people in history have also been subjected to slavery. Even indentured servitude, while not quite the same but in the same family, isn’t that far removed from our history.

    • coozledad

      There aren’t a hell of a lot of people in the south who aren’t related by blood to slaves. Think about defending slavery when chances are one of your ancestors might have been the fourteen year old child of an enslaver who was sold at a premium as a “fancy lady” to another enslaver. And who was sold down to the killing fields of Alabama/Mississippi when her youth had been destroyed.

      As one former slave put it, they sold their own children like they’d sell an ox. This is a marker for evil that “whites” blind themselves to, and it makes them, after all these years, complicit in that evil again.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Because to do so otherwise would strike at the root of why capitalism inherently sucks. “Arbeit Macht Frei” is no way to go through life, son. But if you don’t defend that gospel, you’re a filthy socialist.

  • jesterpunk

    Ben Carson said slaves where just immigrants who came to the US for better lives for their children and grandchildren. Republicans seem to try and defend the south and slavery any chance they can.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/06/us/politics/ben-carson-refers-to-slaves-as-immigrants-in-first-remarks-to-hud-staff.html

    “That’s what America is about, a land of dreams and opportunity,’’ he said. “There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-grandsons, great-granddaughters, might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.”

    • Panika MCD

      how’s that grain storage going in Giza?

      • jesterpunk

        Someone stoled all the grain, Ben is hot on the case though or he will be once he finds his luggage and wakes up from his nap.

        • Anna Rompage

          Hint, the grain is in the bin right next to Obama’s real birth certificate…

          • jesterpunk

            Is that in Nambia Kenya Hawaii?

        • Panika MCD

          and just how much is HUD spending on this project?

          • jesterpunk

            All of it?

          • Panika MCD

            “Congress is being poopy pants and saying I can’t stab them or use the CDBG-DR grant funding.” ~B Car

          • jesterpunk

            He should ask the wedding planner in charge of the NY HUD offices.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      And boyo, did they ever pack themselves neatly on those cruise ships!

    • TJ Barke
    • Rags
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Carson is an example of why, no matter how good you are, you should not perform brain surgery on yourself.

      • georgiaburning

        I’d be willing to give him a one-time exemption on that

      • Three Finger Salute

        Fake news. Assumes brain already in existence.

  • Panika MCD

    maybe Mr. McCuen would like to build a fort out of all the confederate monuments where he and Jeff Mateer can stay and have deep conversations about the Christian Good and be protected from all the Satan words!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      I’ll kick in a couple bucks to help with construction.

    • jesterpunk

      Can they take Alex Jones with them?

      • Panika MCD

        I nominate Donald J. Trump as president of painting “Wizard ROOL, no grilz aloud!” on the door, Boris Johnson as professional stylist to the NO SATAN WORDS Club and Rob Ford as drugs coordinator.

  • Jenny

    Boy, I sure hope he mentions that some random relative of his has a brown child; this way we all know he ain’t racist!

    • Major_Major_Major

      His good friend Clayton Bigsby is in complete agreement with him, so it can’t be racism.

  • Indiepalin

    He may have lost his job as a Latin teacher but there are a world of opportunities for blacksmiths.

    • therblig

      why are there no whitesmiths? damn PC culture run amok!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        REVERSE RACISM!

      • SDGeoff3

        Who or possibly whom do you suppose makes KKK attire?

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I thought you bought it at the president’s day white sales

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • arglebargle

      They’d be much happier associating with, you know, their own kind.

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    Here’s another unpopular view: sticking knitting needles in my ear until blood pours down my neck will give me X ray vision. Mr McCuen, sir, is this one also correct? This one has to be correct on account of how it is really extremely unpopular.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Well one good thing I know about John C. Calhoun: without him I would never have learned to pronounce “Bde Maka Ska” (the lake formerly named after this asshole.)

  • Okay, if you really, truly believe that slavery wasn’t that bad, I’m sure we can find a Thai shrimp shack or sweatshop here in the good, ol USofA that will be happy to have you sign up as an “involuntary working contractor we beat, rape, and force to work for 20 hours a day.”

    Oh… perhaps a nice diamond mine if you prefer working in darkness and breathing dirt all day.

    Your move, dick weasel.

  • arglebargle

    Cliven’s long lost love child?

  • One would think a latin teacher knows better. Oh right. Economic anxiety

  • Scooby

    I’m sure his ancestors were slaves to the Romans.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Say, you know what else the Yankees and Red Sox tried to trick us out of believing in order to be happy?

    • Arolpin

      That the designated hitter is an abomination?

      • wait! what?

        Fuck yeah, thread closed.

      • Major_Major_Major

        BLASHPHEMER!!111!!!!1 HERETIC!!11!!! There is nothing more useless than having a pitcher, pitch.

        • Arolpin

          How is a pitcher different than another player? You hit when your team is at bat, you play your position when you’re team is in the field. If you’re a pitcher, that’s your position when you’re in the field; if you’re a shortstop, that’s your position in the field.
          Nobody says we should let light-hitting catchers have a DH, and there are pitchers I would send up as a pinch hitter over most backup catchers (Madison Bumgardner, Dontrell Willis, even Clayton Kershaw).
          I’ll accept replay (mainly because I’m still pissed that the Royals stole the ’85 WS from the Cards because of a blown call), I’ll accept the K-zone, I’ll even accept the infield shift, but damn it, I want to see a pitcher, especially a pissy one who plunks someone because they took them deep, get up there and stare down a 103mph fastball under the chin.

          • Historicat

            Why? All they’ll do is try to bunt. Ineffectually.

          • Meccalopolis

            He’s an automatic out. Kinda boring

    • That the Oakland A’s would have been both of their daddy’s had they not lost their best players to high salary gigs for the Yankees and Red Sox?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      That Johnny Damon was an All Star caliber ballplayer?

      • georgiaburning

        win!

      • Antonin Dvorak

        He did get on base 4 times in an inning once.

      • Meccalopolis

        Liked him better as a yankee

    • JMP
  • BadKitty904

    If he’s unemployed, why doesn’t he just become someone’s slave? Problem solved!

  • Sheepshagger

    John C Calhoun has the eyes of a meth fiend contemplating digging the spiders in his skull out with a Swiss Army knife.

    • SDGeoff3

      When meth was bigger than big in these parts, a co-worker started eating his arm one afternoon.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        They’re usually not very hungry…

        • Sheepshagger

          But when they get that way they’re ‘armless.

        • SDGeoff3

          The only thing I could come up with when they asked me if I’d noticed anything different about him was, well, normally he never eats, just drinks a lot of water, but maybe he smoked a blunt and his arm started to look like a big hot dog and he got the munchies.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            My bet us he was chasing the infected lesions under his skin away

          • SDGeoff3

            That was the job where, and he was the individual who taught me what skin lesions are. And he had quite a variety.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Completely O/T, but we just had thunder, and my dog is not happy.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      My dogs lost their shit during the 3.3 earthquake (barely noticeable) the other night. They send their hugs to yours!

      • Serai 1

        So we DID have an earthquake? I thought I felt a jolt but it was over so fast, I couldn’t be sure what it was.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          I only knew it was an earthquake when the KCRW DJ mentioned it a couple minutes later. Otherwise I would have thought it was some kids running around on my building’s roof.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Jack just gets a whiff of thunder and it’s time for the Thundershirt!…

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I think I need to invest in one of those. At the moment, Thor is in my lap and doing the panting/shaking thing.

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          It’s all about the ribs. Try wrapping an ace bandage tight but not too tight around his upper ribcage and around his chest. See if it helps. If not, there are doggy pills. Jack used to take about 1/8th of a pill to calm him down….

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    This guy is way too liberal for Trump’s America.

  • wait! what?

    Poor Bradley Cooper must be getting sick of all these idiots looking like him.

  • Jgb979

    “blacks should be freed from oppressive racial integration so they can show the world how much they can do without white folk”

    Hmm

    “Without white folk”

    Fail to see how that would work in a society where they’re still bought and sold as property by such white folk, but maybe that’s why I’m not a formerly employed person.

    I actually kind of love how his argument is essentially “blacks should be freed from a life where they’re treated as full and equal human beings, and allowed to live a life of subservience”

    • Serai 1

      Well, yes. When you’re a slave, you’re free from the burdens of decision-making and consequences. All you have to do is follow your master’s orders and everything else is decided for you. What bliss to be a slave!

      • Lord Jim

        Following up on Zippy’s suggestion above, I think we should establish a camp. You apologize for slavery, you go to the camp to get treated like a slave for a minimum of 6 months. If you survive that, you go to a colony where you get treated like a black person in the post-CW south for a year.

        • Serai 1

          There was an awesome skit on SNL back in the 80’s, where Eddie Murphy and Stevie Wonder ran a White Guilt Plantation. They were the masters, and white liberals could go there and pay to pick cotton and be treated poorly, thus working off all that white guilt. It was snark as hell, but it’s impossible to find online. I have it in my VHS copy of Eddie Murphy’s best SNIL bits. (The DVD edition is lacking that bit, interestingly enough.)

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    the North should beg the South’s pardon for the war

    http://starecat.com/content/wp-content/uploads/marilyn-monroe-hahaha-no.jpg

    • JMP

      Does he think we’re supposed to seek the pardon of Germany and Japan for World War II too? That makes no sense at all.

      • wait! what?

        …Pearl Harbor shot first…

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Tell ya what, sport. I’ll be over at dawn with some of my goons. We’ll barge into your bedroom, throw a chain around your neck and some shackles on your wrists, then drag you half way around the world in the bottom of a boat. You will never see your friends and family again, so say goodbye as we drag you out the door. If you live, you get to look forward to spending every waking moment for the rest of your life toiling at menial backbreaking work for me. You will never rest, never have any peace nor hope. If you displease me, I’ll whip you until the skin peels off your back. If you continue, I’ll feed you to the hogs. I will put you in a barn at night with your fellow slaves and feed you just enough to survive and be a useful worker. I will breed you like livestock, then tear you apart from any relationships you manage to make. I will work you until you are broken, then discard you like trash. At the end of your miserable existence we can sit down and discuss whether it was a “positive good” or a “great good” for you. Then I’ll toss you in trash heap with the rest of the slaves who are no longer of value to me.

    • ariel_gee_398

      But as long as you force them to convert to Christianity, you are saving their immortal soul and they should be grateful for that?

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    • clubseal

      What you’re doing is trying to combat ignorant make believe with reality, and this guy wouldn’t even understand it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I’m just trying to get someone to mow my lawn and clean out my garbage cans for free…

    • The slavers argued that all that was better than letting the Africans “wallow in darkness and ignorance” in their home countries. Given that Winston McCuen (great surname) wallows in darkness and ignorance in South Calacklacky, I can see room to test that theory.

    • JAKvirginia

      Thank you for that! It is a strange irony that those who believe slavery was just dandy never want to be slaves themselves. Curious, no?

  • Crystalclear12

    Which said was he arguing for?!
    Because I am pretty sure he just won the argument to remove the statues.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Would you look at that, another right-winger who doesn’t know the difference between remaining silent and removing all doubt.

  • TJ Barke

    How do people this dumb remember to breathe or feed themselves?

    • BadKitty904

      How to they get Internet access?

  • Timothy Watson

    The “Yankee-imposed [public] education system” which gave this idiot a job?

    • FZsdaughter

      Yes, he doesn’t seem to be able to get from A to B with this.

      • wait! what?

        Vowels next to consonants?! What kind of liberal conspiracy is this?

    • TundraGrifter

      A school teacher who doesn’t believe in public education? Makes as much sense as electing a President of the United States who thinks the Federal government is the problem and not the solution.

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste
    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      Love this guy!

  • bupkus231

    Where do these people get off thinking that there is such a thing as “Christian slavery”? The bibble may have talked about slavery in the Old Testament, but even in the faith, Jesus came to disavow much of what was “acceptable” in the OT.

    “Christian slavery” is, and always has been, a way to duck the immeasurable evil that these people somehow think was “okay”….

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Christianity and slavery existed side by side for hundreds of years in the Roman Empire. There is little evidence early Christians had much trouble with it.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Not after Nero got on to them…

      • bupkus231

        Okay, you – go ahead and bring out ancient culture/societies to me.

        Face it – back then, Christians ( real or not ) were actually persecuted of they admitted their beliefs. I think back then, mere survival had more to do whether or not they “publically” opposed the Roman embrace of slavery.

        I would suspect that the “little evidence” that exists had more to do with that, than whether or not they were as hypocritical about it at the time as 18th and 19th century Christians were ( I wonder how many of them really “embraced” the “White Man’s burden” ) , let alone shit-fer-brains like this guy.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          The extent to which early Christians were actually persecuted (as opposed to later Christians making up stories about how early Christians were persecuted) is debatable. Undoubtedly there are some instances of real persecution, and some inventions and exaggerations.

          https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Persecution-Christians-Invented-Martyrdom/dp/0062104551

          You’re right that early Christians had other priorities. Many of them believed the world was a terrible place that was about to end/be transformed by an imminently returning Jesus for example, and maybe slavery would be one of the awful things he would get rid of. To the extent that they were skeptical of/rejected material wealth, that would certainly have included ownership of slaves.

          But there’s no language in the new testament canon that I am aware of specifically condemning chattel slavery. The Medieval Church was perfectly fine with serfdom for centuries, which while not chattel slavery, is a type of bondage. As with early Christians and Roman slavery, they most likely viewed as a part of the way things were in a sinful world.

          • Lord Jim

            Moss’s book is far from the last word on the subject and has been subject to some sympathetic, yet crtical reviews. She also seems to be pretty oblivious to the fact that, like the Rohingya of Myanmar, and other religious groups in other parts of the world, there are Christians in NK, China, and other places who really are being persecuted. Moss’s problem is that she seems to have been suckered by WATB “Christians” who think that appealing to history or current events of Christian persecution has something to do with WATB “Christians” hollering “persecution” because they can’t make everybody do what they want. So she think she needs to prove that there was/is no real persecution of Christians so that she can shut them up. In reality, the one thing has nothing to do with other. WATBs are WATBs and that’s all that needs be said.

          • pstokk

            They were perfectly OK with non-Christian actual slaves, markets in many places in Medieval Europe.

          • bupkus231

            Thanks for the link. I’ve long suspected that the “Throwing the Christians to the lions” story were exaggerated, almost as long as I heard that the early Christians were persecuted – but never bothered to “challenge” that belief…

            No doubt I’m as deluded in whatever “factual basis” may remain of the things that accompanied my “childhood beliefs” ( things like the persecution of early Christians ) as I have become of the whole idea of an “afterlife” that can be affected by one’s beliefs….

            Aw, “hell”…..

  • georgiaburning

    Is slavery is so awesome, why isn’t he voluntering to be a slave?

    • BadKitty904

      He’s unemployed, so it’s not like he’s got anything else to do.

    • Sheepshagger

      Who says he isn’t? Larry Craig and Ted H meet their new friends somewhere.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Ewww…

  • mailman27

    What is the Latin for “What a dickweed?”

    • BadKitty904

      Quod mentula viriditas.

    • Sheepshagger

      Santorum.

  • clubseal

    And what were the benefits, exactly? I’ve heard people claim that the slaves had it better here than on their own continent. But that’s a bold claim to make first because their families and cultures were there, and second, because many of the shitty conditions in Africa exist because of outsiders interfering, often violently, in the natural progression of their continent.

    At any rate, this guy can fuck right off.

    • JMP

      The only other ‘benefit’ I’ve seen people claim is that it introduced the slaves to Christianity, which is not a benefit at all.

      • Three Finger Salute

        yeah… the Native Americans might take exception to that “benefit”.

        • JMP

          Along with any other non-Christians who had the misfortune of encountering Christians with military might, all the way back to when Emperor Theodoseus ordered the genocide of all who still worshiped the old Roman gods, along with those brands of Christian he didn’t like.

      • clubseal

        The only benefit I ever noticed from being introduced to Christianity is that all the Christian girls I dated gave great head, for some reason.
        Although that’s probably not what they meant.

      • everstar

        In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries people cited Scripture to “prove” that God intended for black people to be slaves, and that outlawing slavery meant defying the will of the Almighty.

  • coozledad

    Ultimately every defense of the Christian west has to come to the rescue of the memory of slavery, because the racist god will brook no assault on the foundations of anarcho-capitalism.

    What enslavers used was a system of measurement and negative incentives. Actually, one should avoid such euphemisms. Enslavers used measurement to calibrate torture in order to force cotton pickers to figure out how to increase their own productivity and thus push through the picking bottleneck. The continuous process of innovation thus generated was the ultimate cause of the massive increase in the production of high-quality, cheap cotton: an absolutely necessary increase if the Western world was to burst out of the 10,000-year Malthusian cycle of agriculture. This system confounds our expectation, because, like abolitionists, we want to believe that the free labor system is not only more moral than system of coercion, but more efficient. Faith in that a priori is very useful. It means we never have to resolve existential contradictions between productivity and freedom. And slave labor surely was wasteful and unproductive. Its captives knew it wasted the days and years and centuries extorted from them. They would never get those days back. Yet those who actually endured those days knew the secret that, over time, drove cotton-picking to continually higher levels of efficiency….

    We don’t usually see torture as a factor of production. Economics teachers don’t put it on the chalkboard as a variable in a graph (“T” stands for torture, one component of “S,” or supply). But here is something that may help reveal how crucial systematized torture was to the industrial revolution, and thus to the birth of the modern world. It’s a metaphor offered b a man named Henry Clay, after the architect of the “American System.” Born into slavery in the Carolinas, moved west as a boy, Clay recalled after slavery ended that his Louisiana owner had once possessed a machine which by his account made cotton cultivation and harvesting mechanical, rapid, and efficient. This contraption was “a big wooden wheel with a treadle to it, and when you tromp the treadle the big wheel go round. On that wheel was four or five leather straps with holes cut in them to make blisters, and you lay the negro down on his face on a bench and tie him to it.” When the operator pumped the treadle to turn the wheel, the straps thrashed the back of the man or woman tied to the bench into blistered, bloody jelly. According to Clay, the mere threat of this whipping-machine was enough to speed his own hands.

    …Clay was using a metaphorical argument to say that every cotton labor camp carved out of the southwestern woods used torture as its central technology. Every single day, calibrated pain, regular as a turning gear, challenged enslaved people to exceed the previous day’s gains in production. Planters and entrepreneurs rarely talked about how other human beings actually picked cotton, but they didn’t need to. They had only to deploy and tune the technology of the whip, steelyard, and slate in order to force people to focus their minds on inventing new ways to perform repetitive and mind-numbing labor at nearly impossible speed.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Where’s this excerpted from? Looks like a good read.

      • coozledad

        The Half Has Never Been Told, by Edward Baptist.

        Also essential: The American Slave Coast, by Ned and Constance Sublette.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Some of our best vice presidents have had crazy eyes!”
    — Sarah Palin

  • wait! what?

    I bet you could take all the wonderful personalities reported on Wonkette, just today, and make an awesome role-playing game called: Fear and Self Loathing.

    A Save the Monuments starter pack would be interesting…

  • bupkus231

    Didn’t Robert Louis Stevenson put paid to the whole idea of “The White Man’s Burden”, way back in the 9th Century or so? Why is this guy still puking out the same sort of shit they used way back when? Could it be that they’ve never learned any better?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      It was actually Rudyard Kipling. It was the title of a poem he wrote in 1899 about the Phillippine-American War. Your point is correct though.

      • bupkus231

        Thank you. I suspected I was wrong as to the poet/author. As it is, I was kinda coming from the position that the term, “White Man’s Burden” was a piece of self-serving Christianist bullshit from waaay back when…

    • TundraGrifter

      RLS had some problems with Father Damien in Hawaii – but as is pointed out below, you were thinking of Kipling.

      • bupkus231

        Yeah – I really did have the wrong guy.

  • BadKitty904

    There’s PLENTY of Republicans who’d LOVE to own a slave if Winnie is volunteering.

  • AJ Milne

    (Blinks at title on video…)

    I begin to think the word ‘controversial’ simply covers too much ground. At the very least, it is too frequently used where you could use, say, _other_ adjectives. Like, say:

    . racist
    . revisionist
    . spectacularly dishonest

    … to name a few.

    I mean, calling stuff like this ‘controversial’ is a bit like calling someone who’s openly advocating murder ‘eccentric’. Technically might happen to be true, sure. But kinda missing the point.

    (Granted, maybe kinda repeating the OP here.)

    • mancityRed6

      revulsionist?

    • Meccalopolis

      This asshole makes me feel very eccentric. You did say former teacher?

  • stumpknocker

    john c is my great,great uncle, i marched to remove the confederate flag at the state house and would have no problem hooking my F350 to any confederate monument and rip it down, i may be a red neck, but i’m no racist.

    • Meccalopolis

      Right on. We have some very loose John c ties as well.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “I may be a redneck, but I’m no racist” – accompanied by the image of a Confederate flag with a red circle and slash through it – would make for a pretty good Southern pick-up truck bumper sticker.

    • There are some good commie rednecks. https://www.redneckrevolt.org/principles

  • Rasilom

    I think this guy needs to just go FUCK HIMSELF!!!

    • wait! what?

      Well, he told himself no and that’s why he voted for Donald.

  • Me not sure

    At the time of the signing of the Constitution, Southerners referred to the institution of slavery as a “necessary evil” and most people believed it to be unsustainable for very long because the picking of seeds from short staple cotton was too labor intensive to result in enough profit. Then in 1892, a Northern school teacher on a plantation in Savannah, GA came up with the cotton gin and cotton became easily processed and hugely profitable. Within ten years the price of an enslaved person had gone up tenfold and the South had replaced the term “necessary evil” with “positive good”. Money can be used to justify almost any abomination. Also too, fuck John C. Calhoun. Andrew Jackson, the President under whom he served during the Nullification Crisis threatened to send the army to SC and hang every nullificationist from the nearest tree. He was particularly talking about Calhoun at the time. Fun with history.

    • stumpknocker

      there has always been a rumor in my family that Abraham Lincoln is john c’s illegitimate son, the story is too long to post, but google john c calhoun death mask, when i saw it, i became a believer.

    • jowgajen

      Chattel slavery was an unique abomination. Some form of slavery or indenture has been practiced from time immemorial, but the idea that you were property, essentially livestock, and that your descendants were likewise property, is a special evil that could never have been “necessary”.

      • Racism as we now know it was invented precisely to justify chattel slavery and colonization.

    • georgiaburning

      1794- Eli Whitney. Who also developed the idea of interchangable parts and the assembly line. (Note that this technology finally reached British car and motorcycle manufacturers in the 1990’s)

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Now THAT’S snark!

        • Me not sure

          You never owned a British-Leyland product did you?

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            Oh, I agree wholeheartedly. I prefer German cars, myself.

      • Me not sure

        It ultimately resulted in the very weapons used to fight the Civil War.

        • georgiaburning

          Yes. Once you could mass produce weapons you could assemble large armies easily. Mass producing draft boards was never an issue.

      • Me not sure

        Brain fart. I meant 1794. I honestly have no idea where that random year came from.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        The old joke amongst British cat owners was that the Brits didn’t make TV’s or refrigerators because they couldn’t figure out how to make them leak oil.

        • Crank Tango

          And what was the joke amongst British dog owners, I wonder?

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Fixed it, but the British dogs wouldn’t dare leak. That’s only allowed in France.

          • Crank Tango

            LOL I remember back in the day seeing a postcard in Paris featuring a pile of dogshit on the sidewalk with a French flag stuck in it.

        • therealpuredog

          “Lucas: Prince of Darkness.”

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            His dying words: “Never drive at night”.

        • georgiaburning

          The reason Saudi Arabia has all that oil is that was where Montgomery parked his tanks in WW2

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Better than – you pardon- the Sherman tank earning the nickname “The Ronson” after a popular cigarette lighter who’s slogan was “lights first every time”. The British also referred to it as “The Tommy Cooker”.

          • georgiaburning

            Gasoline powered tanks had that problem.
            The genius of the Sherman tanks (like Liberty ships) was that they could be produced faster than the enemy could destroy them. The German Tiger tank was much finer but was a manufacturing headache, made worse by supply chain being attacked from the air and using slave laborers who’d sabotage things any time somebody wasn’t looking because WTF you’re going to kill us anyway.

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            Also, 4 or 5 Shermans learned to surround a tiger and blast away at it until it died. At that point, all that fine German engineering didn’t matter so much. American ingenuity meant that sundry metal parts were welded to the bottom of a Sherman, enabling it to better make it over/around/through the Normandy hedge rows without breaking.

        • Miss Dill

          : D

    • TundraGrifter

      I love Cotton Gin! But it’s so thick it’s hard to drink with a straw.

      • Lord Jim

        Silly. You’re not supposed to drink it. You’re supposed to wrap it around a stick!

        • TundraGrifter

          That’s what I told her.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I’ll never forget all those times in the break room at work when the black folks would gather around and pine for the good old days of slavery.

  • nightmoth

    Gee, he sounds just like my Georgia history teacher from back in 1966.

  • fawkedifiknow

    You could admire this guy for his honesty, except his stupidity blinds you to the light.

  • Bitter Scribe

    When someone paints your portrait they’re supposed to make you look good, right? I have never seen a portrait of Calhoun where he didn’t look like an evil bastard.

    In the 1950s, the Senate named Calhoun one of the three greatest men ever to grace the chamber. (I forget who the other two were.) This was basically engineered by Southern senators as a middle finger to the civil rights movement.

    • georgiaburning

      If you’re paying for the picture (in any manner) they usually make you look good. I get the feeling that John C was consdered crazy even for his times.

      • pstokk

        He may look nuts, and he was certainly a grade A asshole, even for his time, and that’s saying a lot, but damn, as a painting that shit is fantastic.

        • georgiaburning

          Got the fingers right (one thing I remember from art history class)

    • TundraGrifter

      He looks like Andy Jackson’s crazy uncle – and that’s saying something because Old Hickory wasn’t always a day at the beach.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Indeed, Jackson, who was in spite of everything a Unionist, was on the verge of just rounding up Calhoun and all of his followers and and hanging the lot of them.

        In accordance with commenting rules, I can’t venture to say what I think of that procedure, even with votes. But I might regret that on this, of all occasions, Jackson showed some restraint.

        It might even have been enough for me to support keeping his portrait on the Jackson.

    • Nockular cavity

      In every picture of Calhoun his expression looks like that of an axe murderer in the midst of murdering someone with an axe.

  • amindofitsown

    Oh yeah, he’s a peach, all right…

    The moldy lump that forms in the plastic produce bag in the crisper drawer of your refrigerator after you’ve forgotten about it.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Tell you what, asswipe. If you think slavery is all peaches and cream, why don’t you just hire yourself out to work for no wages, at a job you can’t quit? Since you seem to be having trouble holding down a paid job anyway, it would be a natural fit.

    • Vel Venturi

      Right? Odd how he doesn’t seem to have signed up to forego his human rights. I’m sure it will happen any day now.

  • mancityRed6

    I know a few neighborhoods here in KC he can take his line of bullshit to.
    in fact, I can drop him off.

  • Viktor

    Winston McCuen next wonders if the Holocaust was ok because Hitler thought it was good

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      My Mom says the Holocaust didn’t happen…and you’re not allowed to argue with her because IT’S HER OPINION and then because HER FREEDOM OF SPEECH CANNOT BE INFRINGED.

      • Nasty Woman Persisted

        My dad got his feelers hurt because I made a comment referencing him believing that the Nazis didn’t kill over 6 million Jews because they never found that many bodies; so using that logic, the Twin Towers didn’t kill thoousands of people because they will never find the bodies.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Well sure, most people think it wasn’t but what if it was? That would be a game-changer!

  • Notreelyhelping

    Once upon a time, it was rumored that people actually felt embarrassment for saying stupid shit. Lucky we moved past that one!

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      Remember when lying on the tv box would ruin your reputation, get you branded as an assplug, and get you fired from a respectable job? FUCK THAT NOISE!! WOOHOOOOOOO! LYING FUCKING RULES!!

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    Fuckheads, and douchebags and dicks…OH, MY!!

  • ExpatGirl

    Why did any newspaper publish that racist tripe?

    • Charlie Spencer

      As a subscriber, I asked that very question.

      “We run letters like these sometimes because we believe it’s important for our readers to realize that people with these views do exist, and they live in our state, and they are not ashamed to attach their names publicly to these views. I find that information chilling, but I think it’s something that I and others need to know.”

      Fine, but I stopped the automatic payment for my subscription anyway. I know morons exist; I don’t need reminded over my breakfast.

      In his defense, I will say that Mr. McCuen has brought me closer to understanding the ‘Black Lives Matter’ movement.

  • Shalimar

    I think what the world needs is a slavery MMO. All players welcome, your character is assigned to you randomly, but there will be 15 slaves for every slave owner. You also can’t restart once you have been assigned a slave role, because I will own your computer at that point along with all your other possessions and I don’t want you getting out of your experiment in slavery just because you thought you would be the one owning other people.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And your children don’t get out either, and I, as the owner, can dispose of them however I please, at whatever age I see fit.

  • John

    I’m going to say that he was a very, very, bad teacher. I’m sure trump has a job for him in the Department of (mis)Education.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Or better yet, as a judge.

  • MarkInCA

    And that is why you can’t pry me out of Cali without a dozen crowbars…

  • Ωbjectifier

    Latin? I would have guessed gym teacher.

    • BadKitty904

      Based on the brow-ridges alone…

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Well… I’m guessing Latin teacher/wrestling coach?

      The Latin comes in handy for the Greco-Roman stuff.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Wait, but so what are the virtues of slavery? I haven’t been able to think of any on my own.

    • Crank Tango

      Job security? Well, until they killed you or sold you off, anyway.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Kind of like the Reserve Clause.

    • Swampgas_Man

      The benefits of slavery are all for the slave-owner.

  • kfreed

    Do you remember who else in recent national news thought slavery was just peachy?

    “Cliven Bundy wonders if black people were “better off as slaves”
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2014/04/24/cliven-bundy-wonders-if-black-people-were-better-off-as-slaves/

    “White, Far Right and Armed: Tea Party and Militias Mobilize to Defend Nevada County Supremacy Activist [Cliven Bundy]” (Cliven Bundy, Ron/Rand Paul, and the brothers Koch):
    https://www.irehr.org/2014/04/17/bundy-standoff/

    SPLC’s Dave Neiwert: “The Dark Side of the Paul Phenomenon” (2007): http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2007/11/dark-side-of-paul-phenomenon.html

    Do we note a pattern here? “Homophobia, racism and the Kochs: The tech-libertarian “Reboot” conference is a cesspool” (with Rand Paul presiding)
    https://pando.com/2014/07/18/homophobia-racism-and-the-kochs-san-franciscos-tech-libertarian-reboot-conference-is-a-cesspool/

    “Nullification, Neo-Confederates, and the Revenge of the Old Right”
    http://www.politicalresearch.org/2013/11/22/nullification-neo-confederates-and-the-revenge-of-the-old-right/#sthash.dYgEFtYk.dpbs

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9632fe57af25c6f18b7d602c6f7c97242934f226d22d31a7a7acfd1090940f74.png https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b1ddf6a084c725e8300b38729ffbc72454fbb10c8810520804079c0a820a5c6c.png

  • Alan

    I miss throwing virgins into volcanoes. The good old days.

  • Mavenmaven

    I bet he had some fascinating ideas about the Holocaust as well.

  • harryeagar

    How about the non-Christian slavery? Was that bad?

  • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

    Awwww… god. It’s like they’re crawling out of the damned woodwork. How depressing to know that our educational system is infested with such dunderheads. And to expound on that, for every one of these morons that presents it as a class lesson or brazenly tweets such a belief to the whole school board, there are 10 who are cagey enough not to do so.

  • Anna Rompage
  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    He’s got that whole Master Race ‘three-day-stubble-squishy-face-like-a-Christmas-pudding’ thing going for him, doesn’t he? . And his brilliant wit matches his sublime Caucasian good looks. Another white triumph going on, right there.

  • Mavenmaven

    Hey Latin teacher, how does one conjugate “a$$hole”?

  • pgjack

    It’s been said before by many people but anyone who thinks slavery was a good thing needs to try a lifetime being owned, maybe being worked to death or whipped if you didn’t want to be worked to death, having your children sold, your female friends and lovers raped (maybe having your sons raped was well or even being raped yourself). Let’s face it, anyone who thinks slavery is good is a very sick person.

  • Red Bird

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If any white person believes that slavery is a good thing, then that white person should be a slave. And they should follow the same laws that applied to slaves such as not ever being allowed to buy your freedom and having the status of being a slave automatically passed on to their children.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I rarely hear educated white women saying things like this, even in the South. Maybe that’s because women were more-or-less slaves to men for about 5000 years. I have had this conversation with a couple of male black friends, and they just don’t get it.

      • Maggielle

        It was a whole different kind of thing. I feel the impulse to acknowledge a connection between Southern women (during slavery, especially) and African American chattel slaves, on account of the patriarchy, but from what I’ve read, white Southern women were on average totally committed to slavery, and they benefited enormously from it, and generally exploited slaves as relentlessly as any enfranchised man. This was brought home to me vividly by reading Thavolia Glymph’s excellent book, Out of the House of Bondage: The Transformation of the Plantation Household (2008, Cambridge University Press). Really, I cannot recommend this book enough.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I wasn’t talking about Southern white women before the Civil War, but educated Southern white women today. Women’s Lib came late to the South, but it is picking up steam. Many African American women were often treated like slaves by their male relatives even after the Civil War, and that is changing as well – “The Color Purple” is not a fairy tale. You are right about the book “Bondage” – it’s excellent.

          One book that has stuck with me is “Incidents In The Life Of A Slave Girl” by Harriet A. Jacobs.

    • Blackest Noobs

      and they ought to be treated EXACTLY the same way Robert E. Lee treated his slaves…..shit….i’ll own white people just to brine ’em like good old Bobby Lee!!!

      well just the honkeys who think fucking slavery was ok…you peeps are alright, won’t be owning or brining you good folks here in wonkette-ville

      • handyhippie65

        thanks. my family came right after the civil war, or were poor english immigrants who married into the cherokee. they never owned anyone.

  • richardgrabman

    Adclinis falsis animus meliora recusat

    • amrak63

      Orrysay, onay eakspay Atinlay.

    • Red Bird

      What?

      • Blackest Noobs

        Upon false mind refuses better

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        It’s a quote from Horace and translates to something like “A mind intent upon falseness refuses to accept its betters [i.e., refuses to accept more accurate, better truths]”

        • Red Bird

          thanks

  • Ergoetal

    He doesn’t do much to prove that whites are superior to a weed, much less another people.

  • Krombopulous Pichael

    thank grod hes away from the young ones…

    now we just have to get him away from the rest of us…

    • Angela Ruzzo

      You could call my Uncle Vinny in Brooklyn. No, wait, I forgot, he’s dead. Rats. I had an uncle who worked for the Mafia and I never took advantage of that fact. How dumb is that?

      • handyhippie65

        at least you never owed them a favor.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    He was a LATIN teacher? Well, that explains everything. I remember a popular poem from my elementary school days…
    Latin is a dead language,
    It’s plain enough to see.
    It killed off all the Romans,
    And now it’s killing me.

  • Blackest Noobs

    are all white people in SC this fucking stupid?
    Latin teacher? sweet baby jesus i expect better cuz in Latin you usually learn about Cicero and other Roman jerks who were pretty good at making arguments.

    this fucker fails miserably.

    maybe he doesn’t eat enough olives, fuck if i know.

  • The Librarian

    The Truth According to McCuen? Well, sir, here’s my truth: you are A Idiot who shouldn’t be teaching anything to anyone. I have documentation to prove it: your interview above.

  • Blackest Noobs

    funny though cuz my Latin teacher was NO WHERE NEAR as racist and fucking stupid as this guy….seriously how in the fuck did he get a job teaching Latin? Are the school admins so fucking dumb down there in SC that you could easily fool ’em into believing you know and can teach Latin?

    shit, i’m a pretty decent bullshitter, think i could get a teaching gig in SC? do i just need to be white and fucking stupid?

    • kaydenpat

      I wonder how stringent the teaching requirements are in South Carolina. I wouldn’t let the featured idiot teach my dogs.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      “Hic haec hoc,
      Huis huis huis,
      Servitus bonus est”

      • Blackest Noobs

        something something about good slavery…i dunno Bub…it’s been like 150 years since i did Latin homework….wait did i just outed myself as an immortal…uh uh…i meant it’s been 15 years…yeah yeah 15 years….yeah long time….long time.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          “Slavery is good”

          • Blackest Noobs

            thanks babel fish!

          • theCryptofishist

            No, no, “Freedom is slavery.”

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            I was just translating my little Latin expedition. But yes. Also ignorance is strength.

        • theCryptofishist

          If you were that immortal, you were taught latin by Cicero himself! Or maybe the pope.

          • Blackest Noobs

            shhhhhhhhhhhhh

    • Phoenixdoglover

      How do I know you are a real Latin teacher?

      Caveat emptor.

      You’re hired!

  • Ricky Gay

    He is clearly dumber than I am, so therefore he must become my slave! ipso facto also too.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      Wasn’t Ipso Facto Danny Elfman’s band?

      • Ricky Gay

        Oingo Boingo – very advanced Latin!

  • New and Improved Say Wha

    Today we are all Christian Slaves.

    • armed_bears

      Not me. I am Christian Slater.

      • Jon Sussex

        Onward, Christian Slater.

  • armed_bears

    Look on the bright side? Any excuse for a Python…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2Wx230gYJw

  • aloharob

    est hoc rediculum

  • Keith Taylor

    The man in that portrait was a Vice President of the United States? He looks like the leader of one of von Junzt’s “Unspeakable Cults”. One of the worse ones, massively into worshipping monsters and sacrificing people.
    Which actually isn’t too bad a metaphor for slavery anyhow.

  • Cranky Man

    Got some news for you pally, the oligarchy has enslaved you. They’ve upped their game since 1890, us slaves hardly even notice until the time comes to discard us.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Or we cash our minimum wage paychecks.

  • clairence

    VINEGAR?! I’ve never tried vinegar. Finally, something that might work!
    Oh, thank you thank you thank you.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      There are literally people who rush outside and spray vinegar from special spray bottles when they see condensation trails in the sky. All this advancement, the industrial revolution, medicine, science, learning, education, technology, and some people are so bone-ignorant and fearful that they want to return to being primitive cave people. No, even cave people would have known better.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        And how much is Pat Robertson charging for these special spray bottles?

  • clairence

    If slavery is so great, why stop with blacks? Why don’t we just enslave each other at will?

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Perhaps HE would like to be a slave! Since he espouses it so readily!

      • clairence

        I have some work that needs to be done around the house….

      • But *that* wouldn’t be *Christian*!

  • Maggielle

    This is just barely on-topic, but when I was a youngster in junior high school in a lower middle class factory suburb of Detroit (a suburb that at the time housed a variety of ethnicities but absolutely NO African Americans), I was in a history class, and at the beginning of the school year, the teacher was telling us how important American history is, and how it matters today, etc. Then, to emphasize his point (which of course I agree with), he mentioned that one of our own classmates was a direct descendent of John C. Calhoun! Wasn’t that cool?

    There she was, a quiet girl dressed kind of shabbily, just like me, with thin brown hair that exposed her ears, just like me. She looked up and sniffed (she had a little cold) and that was that. A descendent of a renowned, powerful, awful figure in American history, sitting in a drafty classroom in a run-down school, just like me. It kind of makes me wonder if Dick Cheney, or Ivanka Trump, for example, imagine that their offsprings’ offspring will always be at the very tip-top of American society.

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      They don’t care. Money and power in the now is all that matters to them.

  • kindness

    Slavery is bad. One shouldn’t have to say it.

    I am curious about one thing though…in the old old days one country would conquer another and take those inhabitants as slaves as conquest winnings. So slaves could be any group, not just a particular minority or anything. When did slavery become something only blacks could do? When did race become the determining factor? And what would the south have been like had slavery allowed any race or creed to be slaves? I can just imagine the conversations:
    Hey I see your new slave girl working the fields. She sure looks a lot like Johnson’s wife.
    Oh she was. Johnson offended me so I conquered him. Sweet prize, eh?

    And before you think I’m a sexist lout it could easily have gone another way guys. I mean slaves did anything.

    Slavery is still bad even if I wonder weird stuff.

    • Maggielle

      I recommend Inhuman Bondage: The Rise and Fall of Slavery in the New World by David Brion Davis (2006, Oxford University Press).

      He writes about the ancient forms of slavery as compared to New World slavery, and how it was typical in older societies to enslave the people they conquered in war (lots of times they just killed all the men and incorporated the women as slaves and wives). It didn’t always involve the concept of the children of slaves being automatically enslaved, and it could sometimes include the possibility of being freed after a certain amount of time.

      Also, religion, particularly after the rise of monotheism, tended to affect who could be enslaved and who ought not to be, which made it convenient to target dark-skinned peoples as the “natural” (i.e. biblically acceptable, “not one of us”) group to be enslaved. Blah blah blah, it’s a really good book.

      • Delu

        THIS here is a discussion, an ACTUAL discussion, about slavery, what slavery is or entails, and why it is what it is (good/bad/whatever).

        All of which is absent from McCuen ‘s diatribe for some reason.

    • Delu

      This is a discussion that is not a discussion, a sort of “maybe but then” tactic that distracts from an actual discussion of slavery and what it entails.

      Notice how he never goes into slavery and what it is, and it’s not like he can’t either, many others have done so before. All he does is talk about the “opinion” on slavery and why maybe it may be wrong…based on, of all things, the opinion of one man in the past about slavery.

      An analogy would look like this:

      “People say that voting is a right, and indeed there seems a majority of them do. But IS voting a right? It might not be. Simply because a lot of people say it is doesn’t make it a right. In fact there was that one guy back then who SAID it was not a right.”

      The above doesn’t go into discussing what right to vote is, what it entails, or any sort of argument for or against it. Which is exactly what is happening with this guy as well. It says nothing and only impresses a notion “maybe slavery isn’t bad after all” without actually discussing slavery itself.

      Fuck these sorts of disingenuous conmen. That he was even a teacher before speaks volumes about education in America.

    • Tosca

      Slavery was always about the “other”. Slaves typically came from conquered populations because they were the ultimate “other”. Or they could come from different socio-economic classes. A man could sell a debtor (or his family) into slavery; someone from a “lower” class was fair game, but it was considered very shocking to enslave someone from your own social class.

      Black people were considered not only “other”, but not even fully human. Enslaving the conquered or debtors had gone out of style by the 18th C, probably because white people didn’t want to risk becoming slaves themselves. Black people, who had a visible physical difference that white people did not risk acquiring, were a tempting target.

    • everstar

      Slavery wasn’t something only blacks could “do.” (I would say it was done to them, but I suppose that’s a quibble.) There were Native American slaves as well; however, according to Wikipedia (so take this cum grano) it’s hard to tell how many there were because they were simply lumped in with slaves of African origin. Estimates in the article run between about 150,000 to 5.5 million, so they’re not very precise.

      Race became a major determining factor in part simply because it helped justify the practice, especially because there were interpretations of Bible passages that seemed to support the idea that being slaves was the “purpose” of black people. A big one was the Curse of Ham. The Curse, contrary to what it sounds like, doesn’t have anything to do with cured meat products. It’s sourced in the Biblical story about Noah getting drunk and passing out after the flood and one of his kids, Ham, seeing him naked. Then for some reason when Noah wakes up, he curses Ham (or Ham’s son, to be more precise) to be the servant of his other sons. Somehow the idea got started that Ham was black (or brown), and, well, you can see where that slippery slope is going. (The Curse was also the reason why the LDS church was historically less than friendly to black people.)

  • Jonny On Maui

    Cool. It’s too bad this moran will never breed. I’m sure he’d be fine selling me his daughter…

  • Delu

    Wow this guy.

    But unpopularity cannot make a truth untrue, and popularity cannot make error truth.

    This is actually a thing. It describes the fallacy of ad populum and why it is a fallacy…but why is it that even though he knows what ad populum is, his schtick hints that the whole “slavery is bad” thing “may well be ad populum” and then….it stops right there.

    This is the same sort of shit that climate deniers pull as well. “Just because it’s a consensus doesn’t mean it’s right” they crow. But then they don’t go on to show how it ISN’T right (or they try but fail) or even show how the OPPOSITE is true (or they try but fail).

    It’s the same with this guy as well, the objective here isn’t to discuss if slavery is good or bad, because that discussion didn’t happen by design, instead it’s meant to deceive about slavery by throwing out a line that says “MAYBE slavery might not be bad, because ad populum says slavery is good” and using that line to impress the notion that hey, maybe slavery WASN’T, ISN’T bad at all! (and he also uses a fallacy, appeal to authority of sorts, by citing John C. Calhoun)

    Of course, the inconvenient truth here would be that actually LOOKING at and debating slavery seriously would show us whether it’s good or bad and settle the issue once and for all no matter what John C. Calhoun or whoever said about slavery. But he, a TEACHER of all people, doesn’t go into it!

    It’s like he’s so afraid that actually discussing slavery would reveal that yes it IS bad, that John C. Calhoun WAS wrong, and that his entire schtick was simply a ruse to impress upon people that hey “slavery maybe isn’t bad” by AVOIDING the discussion on whether slavery IS bad or not.

    This sort of disingenuous people are most often found among anonymous internet trolls. And are about as credible as they are.

    • Tosca

      Not to mention the “ad populum” fallacy doesn’t count when we’re discussing an opinion; only facts can really be said to be “right” or “wrong”. “Slavery was bad” is undoubtedly an opinion (albeit the right one). For ad populum to apply we’d have to define “bad”, and the group for whom we were applying it (slavery was great for the slave owners, for instance), and then gather historical evidence to prove or disprove the assertion based on those definitions.

      It never fails to amuse me how much people claim they want to “debate” according to “logic and reason”, and how bad at said debating they are when I take them up on it.

    • RazorBack

      Well said.

      This kind of intellectual dishonesty masquerading as logic is what really irritates the living daylights out of me when coerced into an “argument” with these hateful, depraved buttnuggets.

  • Even earlier, he was apparently fired in 1999 from a Catholic school for refusing to remove a Confederate flag from his classroom.
    http://www.apnewsarchive.com/1999/Teacher-Wife-in-Rebel-Standoff/id-b49de47893484f44465448e0a863242d

    He also has a history of writing letters to the editors of various newspapers, ranting about racial superiority, the correctness of inequality and limited rights and freedoms for some, and other deplorable views.

    • theCryptofishist

      I hope he admits his inferiority.

  • Delu

    This guy might have well have said that actually the Nazis had a point an aren’t bad. That the only reason why they are perceived as bad is because many people think they are bad, but that does not necessary make them bad because opinion about something does not make that thing what people THINK it is. And there were people who once thought that Nazis were good!

    WITHOUT discussing what the Nazis ARE. WITHOUT talking about what the believe in, WITHOUT even mentioning so much as what they do or are saying. Without discussing them at all!

    Because this is what he did for slavery above. This is ALL he did in fact.

    Fuck these kinds of people all ways to Sunday.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    Sing it Kim Carnes!!

    He’s got Michele Bachmann’s eyes!

    • george lastrapes

      And Mitch McConnell chin!

  • svejk

    o shit. there are few enough latin teachers already. it is a tragedy to lose one to his (apparently) life-long medical deficiency “racist mcshit-brain,” as it is technically known. but the condition is inoperable and, in academic circles, fatal. bein’ raised up in texas i had, of course, heard all this dreary mind-dreck before; except for the term “christian slavery.” that was a new, and scary, one. i do not dispute either its accuracy or its horror. US slavery was indeed used by practicing christians, often upon practicing christians. such a staggering misuse of the teachings of the late j. christ is hideous and, i trust, damning. now if only we could get to actual emancipation & reconstruction, a mere 150 years after the war of southern stupidity. christian or not.

  • Lefty Wright

    So let’s see. We have to explain to some fools, despite tons of evidence showing the violence, bigotry, and hate surrounding racists and Nazis, that they are corrupt, evil bastards. But people like this idiot refuse to accept that. Yet we have tons of evidence, and numerous investigations by parties hostile to the person being investigated, that Hillary Clinton is not a corrupt, evil witch. But over 60% of the public believes she is. It’s almost like facts don’t matter, huh?

    • RMKH

      Thanks tRump! And Rush and Ted and Marco and Alex and all those other absolutely total shitheads that value a twisted view of victory over truth. I don’t know how we reel this post-truth society back in.

  • ahughes798

    What a fucking asshole.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Calhoun’s middle name was Crazyeyes. Many people don’t know this.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    If slavery is so awesome, McCuen should step up and volunteer to become one. I need my house painted for starters.

  • DodgeDixie&Descartes

    This is like REALLY SAD… cuz there’s like a shortage of Latin teachers out there and how are we gonna tell all those Latin Americans that Donald Trump is the best ever if we’re speaking’ Spanish and saying’ “Donald Trump es impresionante,” when they speak Roman and wanna hear “Donald Trump magnus”. I never knew! John C Calhoun was prolly more of a Greek speaker, since South Carolina is so famous for feta cheese… But hey!

  • BreakingDeadMen

    This makes my head hurt

  • RMKH

    When the Confederate Army under the oh so saintly Robert E Lee invaded Pennsylvania, the rounded up any free blacks they could find and shipped them south into slavery. People who glorify the Confederacy and Nazi Germany are seriously defective human beings and I pray to Gaia that they somehow see the wrongness of their thinking. Failing that, they can go fuck themselves with rusty votes.

    • little miss high and mighty

      (Docx gets to post)
      There’s a great story from 3 or 4 diffferent Bruce Catton books about a slave during the Vicksburg seige who was blasted acfoss into Union linesby force of a direct hit. The enterprising Yanks kept him in their tent charging 5 cent admission .
      Whenever anyone ever mentions slavery being not the issue of that war, just point out to them a single document- The Constitution of The USof the Confederacy. Referenced 12 times.

  • Dazza

    Dear lord. The virtues of slavery.

    “Doddington quotes a slaveholder from Louisiana named Bennett H. Barrow, “who kept a detailed dairy and frequently mentioned the importance of dogs in capturing runaways, as well as the terrible violence they could inflict: ‘hunting Ruffins Boy Henry, came across Williams runaway caught him dogs nearly et his legs off, near killing him.’ ”

    https://www.theroot.com/did-dogs-really-eat-slaves-like-in-django-1790894866

  • theCryptofishist

    Too bad John C. Calhoun’s slaves didn’t leave any record of how they felt about slavery.

  • HazooToo

    Is it okay to wish violence on the already deceased?

    • andyshelt

      Perhaps we could persuade Ozzy Osbourne to pay a visit and piss on his grave like he did with the Alamo.

  • JJ O’Shaughnessy

    A Latin teacher, huh? All I can say to his views on the Confederacy is this: Vae victis.

    (It means “Woe onto the conquered”)

    • BrianW

      I thought it meant “We are the victors” but in the final analysis, those both have pretty much the same meaning.

  • bettycat

    Hey buddy, come on out to Seattle and go downtown, get yourself a Starbucks, I’ll buy, then stand on the corner and enlighten us of your views. Hope you like knuckle sandwiches.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Just What the fluck is “Christian slavery?” Is this the dumbest fuck who has ever been quoted here?

    • Start here : Leviticus 25:44

      That books got all the answers dontchaknow :(

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Shana tova to you. Leviticus is the Jewey part of the Byebull. I want to see slavery described as a good thing in the Jeebuzz part.

        • andyshelt

          The New Testament says “slaves, obey your master” There you go. Happy to help.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Ok. Paul was a dick. But what did Jesus say?

          • andyshelt

            Jesus said it was ok to beat the shit out of slaves.

            Luke 12:41
            “Then Peter said unto him, Lord, speakest thou this parable unto us, or even to all?”

            To which Jesus replied.

            Luke 12:47 “And that servant, which knew his lord’s will, and prepared not himself, neither “did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes.”

      • andyshelt

        Or Exodus 21:20 which is a useful owners manual for slave owners that explains how badly they can beat their “property” without suffering any penalty. Basically if the slave manages to survive a savage beating for a couple of days without dying then the slave owner is in the clear.

    • the_steamer

      Just be glad leeches or bleeding or female circumcision weren’t mentioned in the bible or these dumbfucks would call it “christian leeching”

  • unclejeems

    Well, when Calhoun and his cronies in South Carolina tried to claim they could “nullify” federal laws, Andy Jackson–something of a racist himself–threatened to use the army to kick their dandy, high-falutin’ southern asses around the yard, just to learn ’em. The point is, this Latin teacher-cretin and his pals have always fought on the losing side, and will forever be losers.

    Frankly, I wish Mr. Lincoln had either let the South go, or Generals Grant and Sherman had done a somewhat more thorough job. And I think the only Latin this guy knows is the pig variety.

    • george lastrapes

      He taught at a Catholic school. He was fired because he insisted on displaying a confederate flag in the classroom. Might not know his ass from a hole in the ground, but he probably knows Latin.
      A good many people in the South, whites among them, are trying to put racism behind them. In Charlottesville, remember, a homegrown liberal- one of many thousands- was killed by a northerner, one of hundreds who came to show their Nazi/white supremacist colors.
      Anti-southern bias is similar in some ways to anti-black bias, a lazy and spiteful way to think. Or not to think.
      And it doesn’t further the liberal-progressive cause.

    • george lastrapes

      So you wish that Lincoln had let the South go. Slavery would have continued, at least for a while, or even until today.
      And you wish that Grant and Sherman had done a more thorough job. Oh, a somewhat more thorough job. Meaning what, exactly? Burning the crops and buildings was not enough? All that was left to burn was persons.
      It is a remarkable set of beliefs you are espousing. I cannot say that I have seen the like of them before.
      But Southerners, black and white, will not feel slighted if you don’t visit.

      • JohnC44

        Wow, trigger much? Should we get the smelling salts? Are you going to survive?

        You haven’t argued a single thing that was actually stated in the comment. All of the crap you seemingly imply as unconscionable was never actually stated by anyone. You are arguing against your own ridiculous perceptions, not anyone’s statements.

        So now that that’s out there, let me give you something to cry about: Grant and Sherman should have burned every city, town, and village to the ground south of the Mason Dixon line. Further, you should have never been readmitted to the Union and should be paying the northern states to this day not to come back and burn it down again. The South was largely spared not because of the inability to cause more damage, but because you were shown more mercy than you ever deserved as traitors. Remember that the next time you want to bitch an moan about how you’re being persecuted as common group. You got away with murder with a slap on the wrist compared with what you deserved. To hell with your feeling slighted – you have no legitimate reason to act like a fucking victim when you were allowed to resume your place in a nation you turned your back on and actively fought against.

  • JD Mulvey

    Public schools in South Carolina offer courses in latin? We’re lucky if have math.

    • phoenix00

      Betsy DeVos will get right on it!

    • little miss high and mighty

      you have math?!
      man….
      that’s harsch!

    • the_steamer

      Surprise twist! You only get to learn Latin by reading the Bible.

      • JD Mulvey

        Bbbbut Jeesus spoke only English, the Official Language of Jeesus, as everybody knows.

    • Regret

      Latin class consists of showing a picture of a Mexican and teaching the kids all the proper slurs.

  • JCfromNC

    Someone almost certainly beat me to saying this, but those are some serious Crazy Eyes he’s got going on in that portrait. One wonders what he looked like in the flesh.

    • I just got here, and Jesus that pic is disturbing.

  • UnsaltedSinner
    • little miss high and mighty

      Ol Stoneface in “The General”.
      (spoiler alert)
      The Rebels win in Buster’s fab version.

  • Don Gwinn

    I was gonna do this whole thing elsewhere where I substituted Goebbels or Himmler and just switched everything to Nazis to show how absurd it is to call Calhoun a “great philosopher,” but that can’t work anymore. Everybody would just assume I was a dead-ass serious neo-Nazi. If I made it a letter to the editor, they’d publish it next to another letter making the same points but 100% for serious. That neo-Nazi dude would want to be my friend. Satire is impossible.

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  • andyshelt

    McCuen then went on to ask if “Arbeit Macht Frei” was really such an offensive sign?

  • kareemachan

    He seems stupid.

  • x111e7thst

    god bless you William Tecumseh Sherman

    • The Flaming Carrot

      If only he’d gone to Charleston instead of Atlanta. With votes.

  • chapka

    Ah, John C. Calhoun. The man so wrong even my usually hidebound alma mater figured out that it shouldn’t be naming things after him any more. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hopper_College

  • norcalOG

    Geez. Even the Souther Baptists have (officially, anyway) moved on from this goofiness.

  • Slim Compersion

    This is also a common way Christian proselytizers frame their arguments: “If statement A is false, then here’s what follows. But if statement A is true, then this is what it means.” Comes out sounding something like: “If Jesus wasn’t really the Son of God, we Christians are fools and are wasting our time. But if he truly was what he said he was, we stand to gain Eternal Life, and this country better straighten up.”

    They present both cases as equally worth mentioning, but they don’t treat them as both equally worthy of building their philosophy on. Once they mention the case that discounts what they believe, they give it no further attention.

    We’re not supposed to notice this.

  • aureolaborealis

    I don’t mean to be a bigot or anything, but he sure looks like he would say stupid things.

  • SeeTrain65

    “What’s that horrible fuzzy disgusting lump on his shoulders?”

    “That’s his head.”

  • Boojum

    He is valuable for the purpose of disproving his claim that white people ate superior.

  • everstar

    I’m forever bemused by how it’s supposed to be the North’s fault the war got started. Yeah, how dare they have built a fort in Charleston Harbor fifty years prior! But really, when it comes down to it, I can’t help thinking of the South as a spoilt child that threw a big ol’ tantrum when the North tried to explain that they weren’t going to be able to have their way forever, got spanked (metaphorically), and has been sulking about it ever since.

    • King Beauregard

      About Fort Sumter: what people forget is that it was still under construction in 1861, and Union forces retreated there to try to avoid a shooting match with Southern forces. The South begged for an ass-kicking, and the North obliged, albeit reluctantly.

      • Keith Taylor

        That’s about it. Even quintessential nostalgic southern lady Margaret Mitchell had Rhett trying to put across a realistic point of view as the war was about to begin. He said, pretty much, that the South didn’t have iron foundries or railroads or much of a navy, that the North had the heavy industry, and all the South had was “cotton and slaves and arrogance. They’d lick us.” For which the Fontaine and Tarleton boys were in favour of shooting him. Of course Rhett redeemed himself later by fighting for the South in the last hopeless year, and by murdering a black man who was “uppity to a lady, and what else could a gentleman do?”
        Regardless of the rights and wrongs, if the Confederates had the brains God gave bastard geese, they’d have known they couldn’t win.

  • Jado

    Why is it always that Slavery is about Blacks being in chains? If we are going to bring back Slavery, can we try it out for a month first with , say…people named McCuen in chains? I mean, if it’s a good thing, it’s a good thing, right? It can’t be good only if just the Blacks are in chains, that’s not logical.

    Or maybe he’s a racist piece of garbage and nothing he says should EVER be attempted, regardless of who we spin it to affect.

    One or the other, it’s so hard to keep track…

    • mary5920

      I don’t think this man’s intellect would hold up against that of Barack or Michelle Obama, or Dick Gregory, or the recent guest of current White House resident Trump, Frederick Douglas. While these Black people are clearly superior to a racist bigot, he has a point: he must now make a living doing something. Being a Fox analyst, perhaps.

  • Empress of the Iguana People

    As a social studies teacher, I can affirm he’s an idiot. But then I’m a Yankee, so he’ll dismiss me.

    • george lastrapes

      My deep-south credentials are entirely in order, but I don’t think he’d listen to me either. He’s got all the glinty-eyed certainty of a flat-earther or a supply-sider.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      As a former Latin teacher with no job prospects other than a homeschool instructor for the Duggar family, he’s got the authority to dismiss exactly two things: Jack, and shit. And Jack left town.

  • jackie jones

    Key word: FORMER

  • Odd Jørgensen

    “the South’s Christian slavery was “a positive good” and “a great good” for both whites and blacks?”

    i say we put it to the test, scientifically, by having the white christians submit to slavery for say, 7 years? 7 is biblical and stuff, good clean number. I`m sure they will like being slaves so much they will sign up for another 7 years, ayup, for sure they will. Believe me, bigly.

    • JDM

      For some reason I don’t see McCuen leaping up to volunteer his services for the slave side of that test.

  • justjoseph

    He seems to get gigs with all-white schools.

  • Jim QuinnX

    Back in the good old days, when media was mediated by professional editors, nitwits like this had a lot more trouble finding someone willing to transmit their message to the masses. Not sure what my point is. Daggummit!

  • Lily412

    Looked at the comments on The State. Only one crazy wingnut comment on that editorial and the others are all roundly condemning the author. Maybe there is hope for my state after all.

  • cessnadriver

    Why doesn’t Minneapolis change the name of Lake Calhoun?

    That traitor had no connection to Minneapolis or Minnesota and naming the lake was an exercise in pure racism.

    My suggestion: Lake USS Minneapolis.

  • Keith Taylor

    The portrait of Calhoun makes me think irresistibly of the damned judge in Satan’s court in that all-American story, “The Devil and Daniel Webster.”

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