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In August, we had a Small Internet Kerfuffle when James Damore, a Google employee, sent out a memo to his fellows explaining, in a very constipated way, that chicks are lamers and diversity gives him the sads. Although he was quickly fired for making his colleagues feel totally shitty, his “thoughts,” though stupid, were actually pretty mainstream. “Affirmative action means unqualified people are hired” is hardly a controversial topic when half the country elects most of the government to ratify that very thing.

But Google did not agree, and they canned his ass, so he jumped on the Sad Sexist Underground Railroad Train, where his first stop was with this gross MRA alt-right Youtuber cult man, Stefan Molyneux. Thus ensued a whole lot of yowling from people who cried “witch hunt!” and “LEAVE WHITE MEN ALOOOONE” and, we don’t know, whatever things come out of Tucker Carlson’s fork-tongued mouth. We ignored it. Life’s too short.

But just a month later, Damore has proved his former bosses at Google absolutely right. We present: James Damore Can’t Understand Why You Are Forcing Him To Be In The KKK?

Last we checked on the writer Jamelle Bouie of Slate, he was still curled in a ball under his desk trying to wrap his brains around James Damore’s OBVIOUS TRUTHS: That … our popular culture hates nerds which is forcing everyone to be cool like the nazees? Like, the world is this

and all the nerds have been stuffed in the locker with atomic flagpole wedgies and there are NO DRAGONS ANYWHERE, AT ALL.

Angry unicorns cause 23% of fires

Which leads to

Friendship Macht Frei!
Friendship Macht Frei!

If anything it makes TOO MUCH SENSE.

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  • Scooby

    So, they are Nerdzis.

  • coozledad

    If you think anything about Nazism is cool, you’ve officially resigned from the human community.

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Well the uniforms were pretty awesome and some of the best movies made had some cool nazi underplot in them.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The uniforms were pretty awesome, this much is clear.

      • coozledad

        But look at the people who wear Hugo Boss now. Dicks now, dicks then.

        Those uniforms don’t look too good on the bastards caught in the Falaise pocket, or the freezing punks encircled at Stalingrad. They weren’t designed for the realities of fighting a losing ass war.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Well, they were designed for the “Asphalt Soldiers” of the SS.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Now it’s Yugo Boss. An Ivanka-brand knockoff made in the Eastern Bloc country of Melaniastan.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          I have two Hugo Boss suits an I rock them like a bitch. -_-

      • clubseal

        RIP good Indiana Jones movies.

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          Hellboy, The sound of music, bedknobs and broomsticks.

          • clubseal

            I actually really liked Dead Snow, although I have always been a zombie movie fiend.

  • jowgajen

    Nazi furries finally explained. Gotta love science.

  • foiled again

    More like, squalid putz now has plenty of free time to rationalize his fuckery with his new KKKomrades. Pathetic attention-seeking jagoff.

    • coozledad

      These fucks think they’re smart, and they’re jerking our chains. It’s common among sad, backward children whose parents comforted them with lies.

  • BadKitty904

    It’s clearly time for Google HR to undergo a thorough reorganization.

    • Three Finger Salute

      With, uh… votes.

  • armed_bears

    Andy Warhol wants his 15 minutes back, Jimmy.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    What he’s basically saying is he wouldn’t have a problem putting Zyklon B into the showers.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      As long as he had a cool job title.

    • BearGHAZI

      Zyklon B! It sounds so kewl!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    He also can’t understand why people don’t like his Hitler mustache.

  • arglebargle

    So we need to acknowledge the fact that Nazi’s and the KKK can be fun before teaching our children they are evil? Is that about right?

    Sometimes I’m glad I didn’t procreate. I’m not sure how to have that conversation.

  • Indiepalin

    You know you’re REALLY a Nazi when the lone surviving cast member of Hogan’s Heroes sues you for genocide.

    • foiled again

      “DISS….missed.”

  • beingreleased
    • BadKitty904

      Dinesh D’Looza = D & D?!?1? WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

      • redarmyzombie

        Pathfinder or GTFO (I jest, I jest)

  • BigCSouthside

    I read The Lord of the Rings and then immediately burned a giant cross in my neighbor’s yard

    #Trufax

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Women at google deprived me of the job title: Imperial Wizard of Search Terms”
    – James Damore

  • Geesquared

    Join the KKK because there’s no other way to get people to call you a kleagle? If you say so…

  • “Cross burn in the night
    my cone high and tight
    I’m Da-more-ehhhhh”

  • Antonin Dvorak

    A Simpsons/MLP mashup? ‘Twas inevitable, I suppose.

  • therblig
    • Socialist Cubone

      Pokémon got really stupid after the first few generations didn’t they?

  • Anna Rompage

    Funny, one of my favorite past times when I was a wee little nerdy lad, was to play Castle Wolfenstien on my Apple II E and kill all the Nazis the computer could throw at me…

    Who would have ever thought that the party of Lincoln would make embracing nazi culture & the KKK cool again…

    • Timothy Watson

      My generation has spent countless hours killing Nazis in videogames.

      Why the fuck are they now worshipping them?

      • clubseal

        Virtual Stockholm Syndrome?

      • peteywheats

        Electing Trump has so shamed the white race that they now must embrace naziism just to be able to look at themselves in the mirror. “I’m Evil Enough, I’m Asshole Enough, and Doggone It, People Hate Me!:

      • richardgrabman

        Mine killed the running down the street with our (borrowed) toy guns. My parents, both having fought real Nazis, didn’t let us have toy guns.

    • coozledad

      They were always Nazis. The first them I heard that Holocaust denial it was from a Republican shitmouth. They have a hardon for anyone who ever rubbed their nose in their glaring inferiority, and in that particular case, it’s Roosevelt.

      But their antisemitism predates that, because they’ve always been a hateful subculture, barely able to conceal their desire to herd their neighbors up and kill them.

      Now they don’t have to conceal it anymore.

    • I loved that game. So straightforward.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I guess that means that when I tooled around with HyperCard as a kid I probably should have made a Protocols of Zion stack. Would have made me a pint-size star with Berlin Macintosh User Group.

  • Those damn affirmative action hires need to go back to their own countries, like Nambia and, one presumes, Pambia.

  • ManchuCandidate

    The Big Nazi Theory? No Wolowitz and Koothrappali though.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Say what you will about their cross burnings and lynching folks, they sure knew how to make a purple satin robe pop!

  • Bozilingus

    Will nerds and KKK members be meeting at Taco Bell?
    http://www.wsmv.com/story/36408586/taco-bell-to-open-300-new-locations-that-will-serve-alcohol?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=meredithHub
    (I think White Castle should start serving alcohol, 24/7.)

  • BadKitty904

    I feel certain that, with his qualifications, this guy would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.

    • foiled again

      Those occupations require on occasion reasoning ability.
      In any case I would not want a creature like that putting his hands in folks’ food.

      • sigyn

        Speaking of food…I get a little nostalgia rush every time I see your avatar. Thanks!

    • The Brits need umm sewer workers to remove the kilometres long fatburgs.

      He’s qualified to interact with that ahh whatever.

      No I’m not linking the fatburg, goo look if u wanna see it.

      I dare you all.

    • richardgrabman

      Too many foreign hires.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Anna Rompage

      Yeah, people who espouse the message of killing jews, gays, women, people of color, and who ever else, are just like those who are fighting for the civil rights of all of us…

      Here’s a thought, if you don;t want to risk getting attacked, then DON’T BE A FUCKING NAZI…

      Not that I condone of such attacks…

    • coozledad

      Like Gary Legum says, NAZI is synonymous with physical attacks.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      We’ve heard just about enough from the Chads of this world. And the Chuds.

    • TJ Barke

      Yes, because people that advocate for the extermination of “lesser” races are so reasonable and should be granted legitimacy…

  • Jus_Wonderin

    Somewhere Dolph Lundgren is growling. Not sure why I typed that. I am attempting free association today.

  • BadKitty904
  • clubseal

    Not to mention he’s presupposing the coolness of the term “Grand Wizard.”

    Battlemage or GTFO

    • BadKitty904

      I’m sticking with my current title of “Archmage,” thank you very much.

    • TJ Barke

      I prefer Conjuration.

    • redarmyzombie

      Ah, that’s Lord High Necromancer to you!

    • Arolpin

      Grand Poobah is my nom d’ work.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I know after playing D&D I decided I wanted to be a wizard. And since that’s only a job in the kkk I had no choice!

  • CO

    Which version of Earth is Nambia a country in?
    https://twitter.com/davidmackau/status/910558586799099904

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Nambia ain’t no country I ever heard of. Do they speak English in Nambia?

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Nambian only…confefe!…

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I assume Namibia, but that makes an ass of you and me…

    • P’jama Pahnts

      Maybe he meant “NAMBLIA”?

      • coozledad

        That’s where Ralph Shorty comes from. It’s in Oklahoma.

    • BadKitty904

      To give him credit, he meant to say “Narnia”.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Trump is breaking ground for Trump Tower Jumanji.

    • beingreleased

      “Mr President, do you think the African leaders were insulted when you showed that you clearly know nothing about Africa and just as clearly don’t care?”

      “Hey, I got great ratings for my speech to the Africoids. The best. They loved me.”

      • therblig

        I believe they prefer to be called Afro-Africans.

        • beingreleased

          Nigeria Elects Black President
          ABUJA, NIGERIA–In a historic triumph for Nigeria’s African-African community, Bilikisu Adewale, a 49-year-old black man, was elected president Monday.

      • That word reminds me of spiders 🕷

        Big ones.

    • SayItWithWookies

      …while the people of Transmalthenia are still waiting for their day in the sun.

    • BigCSouthside

      I think what’s worse is when he basically said his douche canoe buddies are going to Africa to exploit the shit out of it for dollar dollar bills y’all

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Maybe he meant to say Naboombu…?

      • Three Finger Salute

        Naboo? Oh, please, don’t get him started on any more trade blockades… He’ll do anything even without approval of the Senate.

    • jowgajen

      You see when two countries love each other very much …

    • laughingnome

      Nambia borders Pambia.

      • OneYieldRegular

        …which border NIMBYA.

      • coozledad

        Trump has a University in Scambia.

    • yyyaz

      Il Douche suffers from Namibic dysentery of the brain.

      • Jus_Wonderin

        Is that like Namibic Pentameter?

    • Darlene Underdahl

      I’m surprised he pushed Sarah Palin away. She would have understood.

    • TJ Barke

      It’s right next to Sarkovia and Wakanda.

      • CO

        What about Zamunda?

    • 3rd one past the 8th dimension.

      He should have said Rhodesia, least it was a place in Africa at one time… in this reality I think.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      YOu should have heard it when he pronounced Niger.

    • aureolaborealis

      Pretty sure Nambia shares a border with Uzbeckibeckibeckistan.

  • laughingnome

    Myabe he’s just going through a Nazi phase.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “KKK has Kool Knames”… is one of the stupid ideas you get when you’ve been showered with praise by idiot bigots for all of your previous stupid ideas.

  • SayItWithWookies

    James Damore should aspire to a title more at his level of comprehension — like “sandwich artist.”

    • clubseal

      “Invasive plant relocation engineer.”

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      “Septic tank cleaner” seems about his speed.

      • yyyaz

        Turd herder.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    “…like teaching your child to be responsible about drugs and sex without addressing the fact they can be fun…”

    I imagine there’s a whole lot of latent fuckshittery behind this comment that would take a doctoral thesis to unpack…

    But primary beef is… So, having sex/doing drugs is just like Naziism/White Supremacy, which CAN BE FUN??? He seriously needs to examine his life and why the fuck his in his sorry state now if he thinks genociding and terrorizing people for not being like him “can be fun”….

    • clubseal

      Maybe he has sex with white supremacists? Or the drugs he takes make him feel like a Nazi? Neither one sounds particularly pleasant.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “the drugs he takes make him feel like a Nazi”

        meth, not even once

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I’m pretty sure those kkkers were just having fun, protectin’ the wimmenfolk, hidin’ in the bedsheets, and stringin’ up black folks – and the cross burnin’! Terrific! Who doesn’t like a campfire!….

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Sex can be fun? That’s not what Melania says.

      • clubseal

        “Sex can be over in a matter of seconds, thank God.”
        – Melania, probably

    • coozledad

      Whitebread doesn’t just need to read Van Newkirk II’s Lynching in North Carolina, he needs to fucking live it.

    • Regret

      Well, now you are just putting words in his mouth.
      He doesn’t need more stupid words, he has plenty of his own.

  • Panika MCD

    this proves my point from the last thread:

    we are forcing Jeff Mateer to learn Satan words and that is the evil plan.

    Jeff thinks this is so wrong there should not be a word for it.
    http://www.petshopdelhi.in/images/metrimony.jpg

    and James Demore is so full of Satan words that he no longer has “me, a name, I call myself”. point: Satan.

    • therblig

      they say that long time spouses come to resemble each other, but on Day 1 !?!?

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Ol’ Scratch is working on a takeover plan for Webster’s Dictionary. You know, to same time gettin’ all those Satan words out there.

      • Panika MCD

        OED SUPPLEMENT LIBELZ!

    • armed_bears

      I’d go to that wedding.

      • Panika MCD

        but does Jeff Mateer have to learn the words?

  • yyyaz

    Sad Sexist Underground Railroad Train? Moar like Sad Underlaid Cuck Klowns Society.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Don’t need Der in underlaid

      • Eileen Besse

        Another upfist….

  • Latverian Diplomat

    James Damore is the techbro equivalent of Joe the Plumber.

    • THIS.

    • clubseal

      Gaaaah. I never wanted to hear that pseudonym ever again.
      Although there was a legendary and hilarious faux review of J the P’s “book” that was the one good thing about him.

  • laughingnome

    I thought a condition for being a nerd was intelligence.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Intelligent yes, but often socially maladjusted as well.

      • laughingnome

        Remember when they were a awkwardly charming and got the girl at the end of the movie when they got the courage up to sock the jock in the jaw at the dance?

        • coozledad

          Now they have to get the backing of multinational corporations and rise to the top of a group of nihilist paramilitaries before they can have the Jock’s children shot in a cellar.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I’d happily trade IQ points for vapid glamor and prom-queen popularity. Stupid is like, so totally in now! How many New York debutwunts and Instagram “influencers” do you think are spending $50K to look like Mayim Bialik (let alone get degrees in neuroscience)? No, they all want to look — and act — like Synergy Barbie! With a Kardashian ass!

        AND EVERYONE LOVES THEM FOR IT!

        Intelligence is so 2016. So pant suit, much loser, very exile. Low energy. Sad.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Intelligence is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
      Wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad.

  • janecita

    Is it me, or this fucker is boring/uninteresting as hell?

    • AJ Milne

      No no.

      We find you interestring.

    • coozledad

      He’s working on his cool new title “The Grand Unfuckable.”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Seriously… we’ve had better trolls then him. I bet he couldn’t even get a feature in Dear Shit Fer Brainz!

  • AJ Milne

    (Blinks at ‘Friendship Macht Frei!…’)

    Gotta admit. It answers a whooole lotta nagging questions.

    (*/Stoled shamelessly from B Breathed.)

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    The Nazis were horrible but you do have to admit upffendinklegropefuhuer was STILL FUCKED UP!

  • BadKitty904

    You know who else had cool titles? Don’t tell me Sturmbannführer isn’t a way cool title…

      • P’jama Pahnts

        I’ll bet they make a lot of noise in the dryer

      • BadKitty904

        You’d think they’d keep falling over forward…

        • janecita

          Maybe they also have medals on their backs, you know, for balance.

          • coozledad

            They also have a space on the inside of their trenchcoats.

        • Jus_Wonderin

          Now, let’s see them stand there calmly in a lightning storm???

          • BadKitty904

            Rusting would be the least of their problems…

      • coozledad

        Each one of those medals represents a year without committing “suicide.”

      • Regret

        They must be preparing for war against the Juggalos.

    • janecita

      Generalissimo, is a cool tittle.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I’ve always liked Hauptsturmführer myself.

      • BadKitty904

        See?

      • therblig

        when blig jr was in the terrible twos, we called him the “kinderfuhrer”

        • Three Finger Salute

          That’s Donnie’s title now…

    • redarmyzombie

      Idi Amin?

    • Bobathonic

      The guys with the Einsatzgruppen?

      • BadKitty904

        Gesundheit!

        • Bobathonic

          Oh, thank you.

  • TJ Barke

    So… white ethno-terrorism is neat? Or something?

    • BadKitty904

      Either this guy is as dumb as he looks or he’s trolling.

      • Regret

        He is derailing, I think his interactions at google were the only social interaction he had and he is now only surrounded by nazis et al while very vulnerable.
        I feel sorry for the little idiot.

  • JD Mulvey

    The change machine in the break room shorted me a quarter. Made me become a Nazi!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      You had no choice, really.

    • therblig

      our hope machine has been unplugged since inauguration day.

  • TundraGrifter

    Even Google is going to make a mistake once in a while.

  • CO

    OT but new nothingburger of the day.
    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/910579258870943746

    • BadKitty904

      “…and/or Kremlin documents…”

      • coozledad

        Mueller already has a whole truckload of those, courtesy Ukraine.

        Personally, I hope he extradites Manafort and Flynn there.

        • BadKitty904

          The sooner, the better.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    I also wonder if he knows that “grand wizard” comes from idiots who couldn’t spell “vizier”?

    Yeah, I’m going to go with that dumb.

    • BadKitty904

      That’s just your interpretation, man…

    • altleftjohn

      InSultan their intelligence is impossible.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I don’t think czar very smart.

  • JD Mulvey

    My internet went down for a couple minutes today. Made me become a Nazi!

    • laughingnome

      Well that would make me fuhrerious!

      • AJ Milne

        Oh, Gestap, you.

        • laughingnome

          Hess up!

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            What’s Goring on here?

          • laughingnome

            It’s not me it’s Himmler.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Well Hans Frankly I don’t give a damn.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      It wasn’t an outage, it was a Riefen stall

  • Chyron HR

    Maybe if Hillary had gone to visit Galstaff the Wizard of Light he wouldn’t have voted for Trump.

  • JD Mulvey

    The bagger at the supermarket squashed my bread. Made me become a Nazi!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I don’t care if it’s already been posted:

    https://media.giphy.com/media/xT5LMFj0jOR3PEs2is/giphy.gif

  • Anna Rompage

    “Long time subjugated groups are getting a little push to bring them up to the level of the people who have had actual privileged for the first 224 years of this country. I think I’m going to become a Nazi & KKK member…”

    No sane person ever said…

  • JD Mulvey

    Got one bitch of a paper cut. Made me become a Nazi!

    • Anna Rompage

      They shorted me one packet of hot sauce… Nazi!

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Has LIttle Babby Donnie retweeted this guy yet? Or made him chief strategist?

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Rebecca – I hope you have a daily (or at least weekly) sanity regimen, because this kind of stupid is like tinnitus: it’s always there, but when you focus on it madness ensues.

    Also, too: Obama made it cool to be a nerd/geek. Really, he did. He gave the Vulcan hand salute for goodness sake.

    Thanks Obama! Really – thank you, from the bottom of my aching heart.

    • laughingnome

      We won’t see another like him.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      6-9 figure salaries and stock options made it way cooler.

    • SisterArtemis
    • The photo of him and Nichelle Nichols (sorry if misspelled) is so beautiful.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, for a time being he did. Now the jocks got revenge against the nerds and it’s the bigliest roid rage ever. It’d be like if that movie ended with just the Alphas torching the nerds’ house and never getting their comeuppance.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Also too, James dearie, if you want to go on about how Mussolini made the trains run on time, no one is stopping you. The rest of us just want to, you know, focus on the important things rather than get wrapped up in the “positive aspects” of villainous people…

    …oh, right, now I see why this is such an important issue to you…

  • Crystalclear12

    D&D just became forever tainted in my mind.

    • JD Mulvey

      Got attacked by an orc with a +3 battle axe. Made me become a Nazi!

  • OrG

    This dude’s full of shit.

    • BadKitty904

      For starters…

  • JD Mulvey

    Had to “press 1 for English.” Made me become a Nazi!

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Taco Bell forgot to put Mild Hot Sauce in my lunch order. Must be Nazi.

      • JD Mulvey

        What the heck is really in that Taco Bell mystery meat? Nazi!!

        • Three Finger Salute

          No soup for me? You NAZI!

    • Beautiful Soup

      You know who else became a Nazi? Hmm, not sure I’m doing this right.

      • therblig

        all uff zem, katie

    • therblig

      surprised they don’t claim the fake exchange “555” as a white supremacist icon. or do they already? so hard to kkkeep up.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Feliz Navidad” on the radio…Nazi.

      • JD Mulvey

        Jose Feliciano totally has a Nazi effect on me every time.

  • P’jama Pahnts

    Are “we” making it so that no other place can have cool D&D terms? I mean, the main reason I come to Wonkette is for the +Charisma.

    • TJ Barke

      Snarking provides a great buff for your party.

    • Nasty Woman Persisted

      I prefer the +DEX. It helps me lurk.

  • Anna Rompage

    I guess that’s why there are so many conservative trolls out there, D&D made them cool too…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Or at least regenerative…

  • jesterpunk

    Now this is a story all about how

    My life got flipped-turned upside down

    And I’d like to take a minute

    Just sit right there

    I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called New York City

    In west Philadelphia born and raised

    On the playground was where I spent most of my days

    Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool

    And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school

    When a couple of guys who were up to no good

    Started making trouble in my neighborhood

    I got in one little fight and my mom got scared

    She said, “You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Trump tower”

    I begged and pleaded with her day after day

    But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way

    She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.

    I put my Walkman on and said, “I might as well become a Nazi”

  • Crystalclear12

    Twitter needs an entrance exam.

    • Anna Rompage

      Or at the very least, a Captcha verification…

  • SisterArtemis

    I don’t know that I’ve ever seen you post so many pony memes all at once, Rebecca. I am alternating between slight worry, vs. attributing it to the influence of Donna Rose and parenting toddlers, vs. Dok’s nefarious Plan is working.

    Also too, good wordz!

    • capnkrunch
      • Chyron HR

        I don’t have a favorite pony, there’s just Rarity and the other ones.

        • TJ Barke

          The correct answer is Applejack.

          • capnkrunch

            Did you mean to type Fluttershy? I get it, easy mistake.

          • Pilotshark

            Applejack Chism city social club,

            oh though the computer had tennis shoes.

        • SisterArtemis

          My grandkid, who’s firmly in the Rarity camp (I find her the most annoying, btw), presses me to name my favorite. I warfle between Twilight and Applejack.

          And did I mention (I did) that I once met a human Pinkie Pie, right down to the voice and the bounciness? It was amazing, and kind of uplifting (who can be grousy around that much good humor), and I wish I had a video for all the times I need a bit of cheer.

    • redarmyzombie

      But that all changed when the Fire Nation Equestria attacked.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I always wondered about the whole of KKK imagery and honorifics. Pointy hoods, burning (destroying) crosses, explicitly pagan imagery (cyclops, wizard, etc.) – they couldn’t sound and appear more cartoonishly ‘Satanic’ if they tried. How on Earth did they ever convince anyone they were Christian?

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Lynchin’ black folks, I heard tale.
      That was wut it tooked back in the day.

    • laughingnome

      The same people who used the bible to justify slavery.

      • weejee

        And killing Jewz.

    • weejee

      Perhaps something like Tommy de Torquemada?

    • BadKitty904

      The fact that their members have to hide their faces in public tells me all I need to know.

    • SisterArtemis

      The pointy-hat thing is done is some other places, not in a racisty-fuckery way, but as some kind of older religious clothing. Spain? can’t remember, don’t want to take the time to google it. But I’ve wondered if the kkk hoods are a take off on that.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        May need to consult a Klanologist.

        • SisterArtemis

          *shudder*

    • coozledad

      “Christianity” in the south means droit de seigneur, and everything that implies. Bedford Forrest doesn’t merely own chattel slaves, he owns every white ass in his vicinity that doesn’t have as much money. He owns their businesses, their churches, and their allegiance, and nobody is willing to stand up to him because the one universal characteristic of southern culture is an essential cultivated gutlessness.

      It’s still that way. One motherfucker owns Person County, NC. He owns the downtown, a huge number of shares in Duke Energy, the County landfill, and Every Republican county commissioner. He squeezes their tiny balls and they yelp. Then they go home and pretend to be men. They’re disgusting .

  • weejee

    Yo Mr. Damore, my bride and I will be at Dachau next week. Any suggestions on how to take a totally tasteless selfie?

  • Anna Rompage

    I kissed another boy once… The religious guilt turned me into a nazi….

    • wait! what?

      So that’s what that Katy Perry song is REALLY all about…

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    “Sure, there’s no denying that the KKK is very bad, but those costumes are to die for! And lynchings, has anybody mentioned what a fun way to gather a crowd that is? How ’bout those cross burnings? Festive or what?!”

  • Moebym of the Returners

    Slamming into numerous glass doors and windows as a child made me into a Nazi.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I think for most of them, it was all the paint chips.

      • AJ Milne

        I dunno.

        I mean, I grew up in so many lead-lined houses, I figure it _that_ was it, I should have invaded at least three minor European powers by now.

  • JD Mulvey

    I’m not sure how “cool” those KKK titles are.

    I always thought calling yourself the “Grand Imperial Wizard” was their way of compensating for their day job mopping floors and taking out garbage.

    • BadKitty904

      I wouldn’t be able to call myself – or anyone else – that without busting out laughing…

      • wide_stance_hubby

        How about Royal Potentate?

        • BadKitty904

          Not even “Grand Poo-Bah”.

      • yyyaz

        When I was a young and one of my bffs and I were devising our own religion, we decided that whoever of us got to be the Main Dude would call himself the Omnipotent Imperial Wizard Wazoo. H/T to Frank Zappa.

    • SisterArtemis

      Always sounded like those puffed up titles in the Flinstones to me. Grand Poobah and all that…

      • weighmaster

        The Grand Mystic Royal Order of the Nobles of the Ali Baba…

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO_tXzeiZAQ

      • JD Mulvey

        Ha! I just watched the one where all the husbands get a doctor –who’s really a plumber –to diagnose them with “dipsydoodleitis” so they can go to the Water Buffalo convention in Frantic City. The wives find out because the bird Fred gave Wilma tells them the whole scam.

        I was screaming with laughter the whole episode.

      • therblig

        Ralph: “Sure, you don’t believe it because you never got a call from
        the Grand High Exalted Mystic Ruler.”

        Ed: “HE DOESN’T HAVE TO CALL ME, HE WORKS RIGHT NEXT TO ME IN THE SEWER.”

  • Wild Cat

    Y’know, if he stayed employed and quiet and sorta well-behaved and all, and brushed his teeth now and then, maybe the Grand Googlemeisters would give him a few euros each year to prematurely ejaculate into a window girl or two . . .

  • Anna Rompage

    In War of Elton John Lyrics, Kim Jong Un Calls Trump “Honky Cat” – Andy Borowitz

    • Three Finger Salute

      Unfortunately, no one can feel any love tonight. Not from this maladministration.

    • OneYieldRegular

      That last missile test was just a candle in the wind.

  • laughingnome

    Damore – Fired by Google – Nazi
    Hitler – Paintings won’t sell – Nazi

    • Moebym of the Returners

      Bannon – Failed screenwriter – Nazi

      • Major_Major_Major

        So failure causes Nazisms? I see a trend here.

        • Moebym of the Returners

          If that were true, I ought to be a Nazi now. Except I’m not white…

          • Major_Major_Major
          • SisterArtemis

            Awww, it cuts it off before that nice white lady’s head explodes.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Doesn’t matter. Even Jews are Nazis now. You can always join a chapter of Women Against Women, Blacks for the Confederacy, or that old standby, the Log Cabin Republicans.

            Stupid knows no bounds now! Yay for equality and inclusiveness!

        • Antonin Dvorak

          Failure and the lack of maturity to deal with it, yes.

          • Major_Major_Major

            So that’s the catch.

          • OneYieldRegular

            …and bad faith. Damore’s Google screed just reeked of bad faith, so it’s hardly surprising that he’s playing Dungeons and Dragons with the KKK.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Not necessarily.

          Mark Zuckerberg = Nazi (or Nazi enabler, kapo)
          Peter Thiel = Nazi
          Donald Trump = bigliest Nazi in the whole world, believe me

      • Rags

        Bannon-Failed screenwriter-Nazi-Succesful autofellator-never leaves bedroom again.

  • OrG

    Nazis look like they’re wearing dunce caps to me.

    • Molon Labe

      Klansmen, are the ones with white pointy hats. Nazis wore assorted German military headgear, unless you are talking about neo-nazis who have shaved heads. Or if by “Nazi” you mean anyone who isn’t liberal, then the sky is the limit.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    You don’t have to be familiar with D&D to know that Trump is Chaotic Evil.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I’m guessing just as many people join the KKK for the titles as join the Salvation Army to get a military title without having to put themselves in harms way.

    • Three Finger Salute

      So David Clarke made his career ringing his ding-a-ling?

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    May have to re-think this whole “If it (fill in the blank) like a duck…” thing

    http://www.newsweek.com/duck-penises-get-bigger-when-they-are-surrounded-other-males-668147

  • Rocky E

    Sex and drugs = Nazis.
    Well. Told my son that sex is great. use a condom, and have enough self respect to not sleep with the whole Junior class.
    Drugs are fun in moderation, but some are illegal and if you are caught using them, you it will go on your permanent record buddy!
    Told him Nazis suck.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I dunno. I feel like I have been able to think “it might be cool to be a wizard” without ever also joining the Klan. Am I unusual?

    • laughingnome

      Have you ever worn a kilt? Do you spell klan with a c?

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Does a Utilikilt count?

        • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

          God you’re ghey! :)

          • Gayer Than Thou

            So gay.

        • laughingnome

          Aye!

    • SisterArtemis

      The entire Harry Potter universe is built on this very desire.

    • Grokenstein

      Just remember that not all pointy hats are the same.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Especially when you don’t have a point.

  • Major_Major_Major

    D&D, and liberal woman not makin’ with the funstuff are just loosely correlated with Nazism. The real source is chronic involuntary masturbation. I must be the exception that proves the rule

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      But what about us chronic voluntary masterbateurs?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        Yeah!
        …I mean, asking for a friend!

      • Major_Major_Major

        I should have used “compulsive” I guess.

      • Grokenstein

        Just continue to rock out with your cock ou–um, no, wait, that came out wrong, gimme a minute…

        • Regret

          Oh no, ‘it’ came out fine.
          brb, getting a tissue.

  • Joe Beese

    All of Puerto Rico is without power.

    All of it.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      And likely to remain so for months, if the predictions were accurate. What a terrible disaster.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Did Congress ever do anything to alleviate their debt crisis?

        • mackafritz

          Congress do something constructive?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Electricity, that is. They’ve never had any political power. Which is why it’s going to take forever to get the electric power back.

    • Grokenstein

      But Inhofe’s freezer still works. The snowball is fine! Therefore: climate change still not real. And this isn’t the right time to discuss the matter anyway, shame on you.

    • TJ Barke

      Damn those Chinese and their commitment to this hoax!

  • jesterpunk

    Wait Fucker Carlson had witches on last night does that mean anyone who watched his show is a Nazi now?

    • therblig

      or a slytherin

  • Gayer Than Thou

    Also too, it seems very easy to teach your children to be responsible about sex and drugs and acknowledge that they can be fun. Indeed, I can’t think of another way to teach that very lesson.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Like driving a car.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Depends on the drug and if you can handle it. Meth, crack, whatever the fuck that Russian crocodile shit is, not even once. As for weed… jury’s out on that one if you’ve already got a pre-existing psychiatric condition. Some people have had pleasant experiences with LSD. But then, Syd Barrett and Brian Wilson were for all intents and purposes acid casualties. “YMMV” seems to be the rule there.

      Then there’s the whole antibiotic-resistant STD epidemic that is just.. yeah, maybe at this point it’s a better idea to let the kids have CGI VR porn, in the hopes they’ll be platonic friends with people in meatspace. Or promote drugs instead of sex.

    • AJ Milne

      Well, I can _think_ of other ways to teach about sex…

      … I just don’t think much of ’em.

      I mean, seriously, it just doesn’t do much for your credibility, once they work out how dishonest you were…

      (… or, at the very least they’ll always be wondering if maybe you were just doing it very wrong.)

  • Electric Ukulele Land

    Not into the whole “people who say things I don’t agree with should be fired from their jobs” thing but with analogy and logic skills like this, I’m going say he might have been a problem employee HR was waiting to give the axe to.

    • SisterArtemis

      For example: not a team player. That would put a crimp in your value as an employee.

      • Electric Ukulele Land

        With no intention of defending the subject of this article — please, for the love of God, tell me you are using the phrase “not a team player” ironically.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      He wasn’t just saying something Google “didn’t agree with,” though. He was attacking, viciously, their other employees, and behaving abominably.

    • MasRioBravoHombre

      Did you know that if you play the chords to “Purple Haze” and sing the lyrics to “Green Acres” it works perfectly?

      • JD Mulvey

        Vic Mizzy IS Jimi Hendrix.

      • James Baskin

        Somehow, I find that hard to believe.

  • JMP

    I was a nerd who was bullied horribly in junior high and high school. That experience did not actually push me to become a bully myself and try to ruin the lives of women, minorities, or gay people, but instead made me really empathetic to all who’ve been victimized by discrimination and bullying. Being a nerd who was bullied is not a fucking excuse for being a bigoted dickbag, at all.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Being bullied in junior high and high school did make me into a bully, but then I reflected on my behavior and did not join the KKK.

      • AshleeSCuster

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !si293d:
        ➽➽
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    • Three Finger Salute

      Me too. Although it didn’t push me to do anything but become a recluse. I guess you could say I stuffed myself in my own locker before anyone else could.

    • laughingnome

      Same here. I was bullied a bit and I think am more empathetic because of it.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Same here, to an extent. I wasn’t bullied horribly – never physically – but the degree of bullying I got just made me hate bullies more. It didn’t make me want to be one.

      I think the bullying that really does turn people into bullies themselves is being abused at home. And that’s the saddest of all.

      • Oblios_Cap

        I was bullied as a child and then I grew into a 6’2″ tall 200 pound weakling. And I still don’t want to bully anyone or get even with those who bullied me. Life’s too short for that sort of shit.

      • Rocky E

        Yes. the abused becomes the abuser

      • coozledad

        I knew some kids who suffered excruciating abuse at home, and a few were remarkably compassionate. To a point.

        You did not want to get to that point.

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      Bless you. Same here.

      It’s not that I’ve never done anything hateful or shameful–I look back as I near the end of a long life, and wish I’d done a whole lot better–but having been seriously and relentlessly abused as a child, still I did not become an abuser. I never went in for the kill to compensate for my own suffering.

      With a little help, one can gain insights from pain in order to live a more fully human and generous life. I was blessed in finding, at a critical moment, a kind of proxy family and substitutes for my own mother and father. Without this, I don’t know what I might have become.

      • Maggielle

        Oh how I relate to this. Thank you.

    • Vel Venturi

      Me too, and a million times this. Every time these whiners use their experiences being bullied, shunned and deemed undateable as an excuse for being hate-filled fucksticks, I want to scream.

    • Red Bird

      I find it interesting that white “nerds” can use being bullied as an excuse for their bigotry but minorities who suffer worse treatment their whole lives are not allowed even the luxury of complaining about it.

      • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

        Brilliant. Thanks.

  • Thiazin Red

    I’m super shocked by this.

  • “Say what you will about the Nazis, but they had really good fashion sense…”

    Uh…

  • BadKitty904

    ♫ James Damore, James Damore
    Galloping through the sward
    James Damore, James Damore
    On his motherboard
    He steals from the rich
    And gives to the poor
    James Damore, James Damore, James Damore

    James Damore, James Damore
    Riding through the night
    Soon all the D’n’D in the land
    Will be in his mighty hand
    He steals it from the rich
    And gives it to the poor
    James Damore, James Damore, James Damore ♪

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      But does he have any lupins?

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        I was just about to ask

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Look, now. Seeing as a cat once bloody choked on lupines, it is mighty insensitive to ask even a bad kitty about them.

        • BadKitty904

          Thank you.

      • leemoder

        Only in a bunch.

        In a bunch.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    So . . . people like the movie IT, John Wayne Gacy liked to dress up like a clown and was a serial murder, therefore he and James Damore could have hung out and had avocado toast Saturdays if James Damore was still employed and John Wayne Gacy hadn’t gotten the death penalty????

  • OneYieldRegular

    Just once I’d like to see one of these pious, ignorant sh*theads acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, they don’t know everything about the world. Instead, they all rush to seek out and attempt to gain acceptance from the most odious people on earth.

    • Anna Rompage

      I’m sure if he put a little work into it, he could become a regular commentator on Fuax Noose…

    • yyyaz

      I never would have imagined so many Merkins are intent on reducing our society to a stinking shit heap also too.

  • HogeyeGrex

    the only place where you can acknowledge the coolness of D&D terms…

    Because there are no comic cons. No cosplay. No LARPing. No renfairs. No WoW. No fanbase for Game of fucking Thrones. Yep. That’s it. Anybody who digs dragons has to go straight to the KKK. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

    Christ, what a twit.

    Next thing heard from his weepy piehole: “Fuck you I’m a dragon!”

    • Rocky E

      Ninja Legos! Their heads come off.
      They have cool names, like, “Zane”.

  • Anna Rompage

    Yeah, if I looked like him, and was a nerd too, I’d probably be pissed at the world as well…

    • HogeyeGrex

      Now, now. Let’s not get looksi… Jesus Christ! What? Was this guy borned from the wrong hole?

      • Oblios_Cap

        His mother was a tree, I heard.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Ethel?

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          This is where legal man-tree marriage gets us!

          • leemoder

            Ents-libelz!

        • HogeyeGrex

          A knotty lady, indeed.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      He really does have that “fucking dipshit” thing going on, doesn’t he?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Not exactly OT because Klan, but if you ever get a chance to read Walt Kelly’s Pogo vignette about the Klan, do it. Makes me cry every time.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3f63ac96192db6d3da64be4dec2530d687c895bee5c6fa4dae5f57a508eff95d.jpg

    • Oblios_Cap

      That strip was awesome. Easy to find, too. Just search “Kluck Klams” and the tubes take you right to it.

      • Beautiful Soup

        I searched, and the tubes told me this: ““Pogo” was penned by a famous anti-communist conservative cartoonist and his missive was directed at the Southern Democrats who created the KKK and enforced segregation via Jim Crow Laws. Walt Kelly was often censored by the liberal media newspapers for posting strips like these, so he published his uncensored opinions in “The Pogo Poop Book” in 1966.”

        • tomamitai

          At first I thought they were trying to lampoon conservatives, but after reading their response to the comments I’m not sure. Poe strikes again!

  • Canis Greyhame

    Good gods y’all, how obvious is this guy’s attempt to rationalize his way into signing up for a white hood and robes? That was NOT where a life of tabletop gaming and cosplay is supposed to lead. You were supposed to end up worshipping Satan and practicing witchcraft! … or just, you know, marrying Sofía Vergara.
    http://pagesix.com/2017/09/17/joe-manganiello-just-wants-to-play-dungeons-dragons/

  • rosenbomb

    Well, he’s clearly absorbed the key tenet of Republicanism: it’s always someone else’s fault that you are horrible.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      X happened, therefore I have no choice but to oppress and exterminate people over arbitrary, superficial criteria that have nothing to do with X.

      • Tump happened, so now we have to lock up all the deplorables for the sake of our country…

  • Jennifer R

    Let’s be honest. Grand Wizard is what someone who doesn’t play D&D think someone who does would think is cool.

    • whitroth

      Shouldn’t that be Grand Whizz?

      • redarmyzombie

        Only if you’re Donald Trump. Or a piss hooker.

  • Thiazin Red

    Yes, sure Fucko the klan is literally the only place you can say wizard or think the term is cool. There isn’t a hugely successful multi media property with an entire section of a theme park devoted to it that uses that term. It hasn’t been a staple of fantasy writing for centuries, the klan is the only place.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Great, bad enough I’m lumped in with Pizzagators and serial killers as a mentally ill person. Now I’ve got to defend myself against accusations of Klanhood for being a nerd?

    Two things that I’d give anything not to be — bipolar and “quirky” with an above-room-temp IQ — now multiplied by itself. The fuck just happened?

    • msanthropesmr

      Forget it Jake. It’s Trump town

    • Camacho/Trump 2016!!

      It’s not your fault you’re a Nazi; libtards gave you no other choice.

      • Three Finger Salute

        The funny thing is Nazis hated “nerds,” because they were thinkers who questioned the dogma of the regime with logic and empathy for those affected. The stereotype of the “nerd” was a bespectacled Jewish intellectual, so I don’t even get where this guy is saying that nerd = Nazi.

    • HorseChestnut

      I feel like we need to separate “mentally ill” (or traumatized) from “crazy.” I don’t have a good system yet. But people with mental illness/ neurological difference/ etc. are NOT necessarily crazy. And crazy people, like Sandy Hook truthers, Pizzagaters, birthers, and Randroids, are usually not mentally ill.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I don’t see why we have to separate “mentally ill” from “physically ill” in any way. It’s not as if our bodies end at our neckline, or our brains aren’t affected by our body chemistry. It has been proven time and time again that “mental” illnesses have physical and chemical causes and/or interactions. They’ve even done research recently linking PTSD to an under- or over-abundance of the adrenal hormone cortisol. Eighty years ago two of my aunts-by-marriage suffered severe postnatal depression, and what was the treatment then? They locked them up in state mental hospitals, where they were tortured with electric shock therapy, and they both died within 2 years. They had a severe hormonal problem, not a “mental” illness!

        • Three Finger Salute

          Oh, I know I have P.T.S.D. from my upbringing and that it’s more like a concurrently traumatic stress syndrome, on account of I still live at home with the same sicko dysfunctional family that caused it in the first place. The catch-22 is that I still live at home because I’m irrevocably damaged from my upbringing, and can’t “hack it” in the increasingly cutthroat working world that demands absolute perfection and a certain type of exuberant (but still subservient to corporate) personality. I’m 33; if 35 is the cutoff date for getting “a good job,” then I’m SOL anyway.

          I was probably damaged in-utero to begin with, not only because of prenatal stress but because my father actually pushed my pregnant mother out of the passenger side of the car while backing out of the driveway. What bothers me is that, when abused animals can’t be properly rehabilitated in such a way that they can be integrated back into their wilderness environment or adopted as pets, they get put down. No such luck for permanently broken people. As Chris Rock says, “ain’t no money in the cure; the money is in makin’ you live with it.”

          Even if I wasn’t emotionally a mess, I’d still be “different” like this asshole is pointing out here. Not in the same way as he is (this guy is just an asshole, and possibly a sociopath), but am I geeky, quirky, bookish, encyclopedic, Deschanelian, Trudeauesque? Bigly. But unlike them, I’m not OK with that. Maybe it’s a French thing, to let le drapeau ‘freaque’ fly…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Have you considered working in a public library? I worked or volunteered in them for years, they are low-key, tolerant of eccentricity, you can have flexible work hours. They don’t pay very well at the entry level, but at least you’d be around books and fellow quirky, bookish people with encyclopedic knowledge. Not all libraries are like this – university libraries can be snobbish. I ran the computer network at a public library in Louisiana for 4 years, and the best perk was first pick of the books donated to the Friends of the Library – I picked up about 50 books I lost in Hurricane Katrina while working there. Everyone there was so friendly, so kind, so nice, so tolerant, that when I was driving home on my last day I had to pull over to the shoulder because I started crying, wondering if I had made the right decision to quit and move back to Missouri, because it’s not easy to find such a great place to work with such nice people.

            If you could manage it, maybe you could go back to school part time while you were working at a library, and work towards a degree in Library Science, then you would earn more. It can’t be that hard of a degree to earn…I have two not-very-bright but book-loving high school friends who did it.

            I find that public libraries are generally exempt from the glass ceiling and age ceiling limitations that other places suffer from. They hired me at age 49, and were delighted to have someone with experience who also loved books and could communicate well with other people (something that is often rare in the I.T. field). They tried very hard to talk me into staying, but 4 hurricanes in 4 years was 4 too many. I don’t regret leaving, but I miss the people.

            What they are finding out about PTSD is that people with healthy levels of cortisol, which is a hormone that helps people adapt to stress (a fight-or-flight hormone), can live through a traumatic experience and not develop PTSD, while people with too little or too much will live through the same experience and develop PTSD. They are not sure if PTSD causes the cortisol imbalance, or is caused by it, because cortisol is a hormone that is rarely tested for until someone gets sick. You have to take a saliva test, and mainstream labs don’t offer this test, so it is rarely covered by insurance.

      • Three Finger Salute

        There is a higher likelihood that you’ll be bipolar/schizophrenic/autistic etc. the higher you go on the intelligence scale. Not necessarily that there are fewer of those with a chemical imbalance or neurological disorder/defect on the lower or mediocre IQ range, but that being smart, clever, creative, etc., carries with it an unfortunate trade-off of emotional instability or social peculiarity. That’s why I regard it as a curse rather than gift. If there was a one-shot cure I could take to make me sociable and popular, but as a “side effect” I’d be a ditz, I’d take it in a heartbeat. Nobody likes smart people anyway. At least not here. Even worse if you’re offbeat or off-kilter in one way or another. You can’t fly too close to the sun without getting burned.

        • HorseChestnut

          I went through the gifted programs and all I got for it is crippling guilt at not living up to my potential (and this t-shirt).

          • Three Finger Salute

            At least you had gifted programs. My school it was called a “self-contained classroom,” and they basically just dumped everyone in there who was either too little of this or too much of that. Anything from mild dyslexia to severely nonverbal autistic banging your head against the wall, and you landed in there. I actually got diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder by the school psychologist, because I spelled words better than the teacher and asked questions that she couldn’t answer, and she didn’t like being humiliated. I wasn’t even being condescending about it or anything. I guess I just never learned the important “social cue” of “you’re not supposed to beat the boss at golf.”

          • HorseChestnut

            I exaggerated a little for comic effect – I only had access to gifted programs until about third grade, then they were eliminated and we were mainstreamed.

            I will never understand teachers who hate children. It’s extra-special awful to be bullied by a teacher, because you have no recourse; it’s hard to even get people to believe you. There’s nothing you can do. I promised myself that if I survived school, I’d become a teacher and help kids like me, but I don’t think I’m cut out for it.

          • Maggielle

            I wasn’t in special classes of any kind, but boy do I have vivid memories of the few times I corrected a teacher. Once was when someone asked the teacher how to spell soccer, as in le futbol, and she shrugged and said “socker”, and I spelled it right. If looks could kill…I really hadn’t meant to be snarky or anything. I think I did it once or twice with other teachers, then learned to STFU. Wish I could have been more confident, but that’s not the kind of kid I was.

          • PeedeResistance

            Did them all, for years. Unfortunately, the worst teacher–a bitch Nazi who truly hated any intelligent or even slightly original child–I ever suffered under was employed by that ‘academically talented’ program. Labels and pretensions are guarantees of nothing except snobbery.

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    MRA’s, obviously, are hung like hummingbirds. Thankfully, the only thing I ever won was the weiner lottery, so I haven’t had a grudge against women and life since I was 13 years old, like these twatwaffles have.

    • msanthropesmr

      You won a lottery?

      • MasRioBravoHombre

        A genetic one.

        • Rocky E

          Go visit the WaPo and read the comments on Dana Milbank’s column about women.
          It isn’t Halloween, but those dudes are scary folk.

          • MasRioBravoHombre

            My internet usage is limited to here, MMFA, Yahoo email, NFL.com, raw story, and a porno dating site. I get all I need of these loonies at my family reunions.

          • Rocky E

            Probably wise. The men’s rights dudes proved Milbank’s column to be %100 correct.
            Also, congrats on winning the “lottery”.

      • laughingnome

        Lifetime supply of weiners.

        • MasRioBravoHombre

          LOLOLOLOL!

        • MasRioBravoHombre

          Do gnomes play guitars upside down, like Albert King did?

          • laughingnome

            With our toes.

  • msanthropesmr

    Hey! Hugo boss made some great uniforms.

  • whitroth

    Speaking as a techie (sr. Linux sysadmin)… and a dragon, I have some issues with this boy.
    #insert “smile_with_LOTS_OF_SHARP_SHINY_TEETH.h”

    • Three Finger Salute

      sudo @ maralago: rm -rf /*

      • whitroth

        Or, perhaps, dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda

        Alternatively, ever heard of DBAN?

  • ariel_gee_398

    You know who is not a dumb Nazi or MRA? Frida: https://twitter.com/dog_rates/status/910580043381923840

    • Nockular cavity

      Good girl!

    • Rocky E

      Actually met a retired handler and a Lt. Colonel bomb sniffing dog.
      His handler was outranked by his canine companion.
      He did his service in Iraq and his human companion joked the he had to salute him as did others when they were on base.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Sir, yes sir!

    • TakingAmes

      My stepsister-in-law trains dogs with the US Navy. It’s a pretty cool job.

      • Maggielle

        Oh, wow, I would love that job. On the civilian front, my neighborhood is a regular practice area for Guide Dogs for the Blind, so we often see trainers with young dogs as well as new clients learning with their new helper dogs. It’s cool to see.

        Actually, I would like to learn how to work with a dog who could be a guide dog for other dogs. You know? A specially trained, exceptionally patient and amiable dog who could work with nervous or aggressive dogs to reduce their anxiety and re-socialize them.

        Oops this is OT. I hate Nazis. Okay, there.

        • Paul

          It’s OK. You love dogs.

  • Professor Fate

    Grand High Exhalted Mystic Ruler is a) much cooler and b) not linked to racists.
    (the International Order of Friendly Sons of the Raccoons)
    So your point is????

    • OutOfOrbit

      can a hamster join?

      • Invisible Bunyip

        Can a woodchuck chuck?

        • kareemachan

          Can a groundhog ground?

    • Erala Contratista

      “snort”
      The Elks have Exalted Rulers.
      Have had since 18something.

  • Wee Mousie

    There was just enough time, back in the 80s, to make one movie about nerds getting put down, shoved out and beaten upon, but before the de rigueur sequel could arrive at the the theaters fellows with pocket protectors in their pockets and adhesive tape on their glasses, with names like Gates, Jobs and Woznaik were miking thousands — thousands wait, not thousands, millions — millions, wait not million, bi;;iod billions ….

    In any case, making fun of nerds after that had a hollow ring.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Jobs wasn’t really a nerd. Jobs could hold his own, but Woz was the real geek. Jobs was the larger-than-life enigmatic salesman who turned Apple into a cult of personality. Something he probably learned from dabbling in those “new religious” movements that popped up all over the place in the ’70s. The “guru”.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    You know, on two occasions I was not hired for a job, and an African America person was hired instead of me, and it never occurred to me to blame Affirmative Action. I just figured they were better qualified for the job. Just wait until Mr. Damore is over 55, then he won’t even be able to get a job interview. Who will he blame then?

    • OutOfOrbit

      55?! i think 35 is the last good chance for getting a good job & after that, pffft

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I didn’t have any problem until I was over 50. But I am incredibly gorgeous and youthful looking. 😀 Actually, I just kept dying my hair to hide the white ones, but sometime after age 50 this stopped working. It might have something to do with menopause. The problem seemed to be that I worked in I.T., and at a certain point, all the people in the interview room were 25 years younger than me, and we clearly didn’t speak the same language.

  • Anna Rompage

    I think I figured it out…

    When I was a kid, I was a nerd, a total geek, played D&D and with computers too.

    The difference is that the TV we watched back in my day almost always had a humanistic moral to the story, and TV these days, is filled with trashy “reality TV” where people get money and fame by being ridiculous characters, and almost seem to get more rewards by spewing the most outrageous stuff possible…

    Growing up, there were countless roll models in TV, from the broadcasters of the evening news, to people like Mary Tyler Moore, and now look at who the kids have today, a “real housewife”, Omarosa, or gawd forbid the Cheeto himself

    • TJ Barke

      Doesn’t scan. Basic problem with these tools is a lack of empathy.

      • Grokenstein

        But where does empathy come from?

        I grew up in late-seventies, mid-central, out-in-the-goddamn-sticks Florida. My family, church, classmates and teachers were all swarming with right-wing racists of varying intensity and non-bigots and lefties were few and far between. Sure, I never quite “fit in” from the start, but they were working on me every single day.

        So what saved me? Chris Claremont’s X-Men of all things, even with all its terrible dialog. That, and going to college in Boston. It was like being let out of a box I’d been trapped inside my whole life, and I never went back inside.

        If I were growing up today, who knows. These days cynicism is valued over empathy (with some exceptions; there’s a reason my avatar is MLP:FiM-related). Seth MacFarlane or Parker/Stone or Hollywood splatter franchises certainly don’t inspire empathy.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Even kids’ TV during Reaganomics had morals. I mean, the ’80s was the decade that had the fucking Care Bears. But then, Cancon export, so… doesn’t count as Murrican.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      *nods* I wanted to live next to the Addams family.

    • data_ninja

      I subscribe to this theory as well. McGuyver, the A-Team, Knight Rider and even Highway to Heaven were all about going around and helping people (and sometimes turning tractors into tanks).

      Oh, and Quantum Leap also too!

      • kareemachan

        LOVED Quantum Leap.

  • Me not sure

    I have webbed toes on both feet and when I was a child I felt a little sensitive about it, but I soon outgrew it. At no time however, did anyone’s comments about my feet make me feel like putting a bed sheet over my head and burning a cross or standing rigidly at attention giving a Nazi salute while clicking my heels together. I guess it takes all kinds (give or take a few inferior people) to make a New World Order.

    • Rocky E

      My sister has her two middle toes on both feet, webbed.
      Without thinking, one year I bought her toe socks for Christmas.
      We laughed hysterically.
      Good for swimming though. ;D

      • Me not sure

        yup.

        • Rocky E

          For the record, my same toes are slightly webbed.
          Always thought it was cool.

          • Me not sure

            Me too. I liked leaving weird footprints at the beach.

          • coozledad

            Is athlete’s foot a problem? There’s probably already been a comprehensive study. What the hell. I’ll go check.

          • Erala Contratista

            I like the idea of webbed toes. I could get rid of my flippers, and B., Labs have webbed toes and there are few creatures as cool as a Lab.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I put bed sheets over my head, but only to hide from having to go to school. They weren’t white either. They were Sonic the Hedgehog, and my mother got such consternation from the rest of the family for letting me have “boy” sheets.

      • Me not sure

        Sheets have genitals? Wow! Who knew?

        • goingohm

          Is this why I’m waking up so tired?

          • Me not sure

            …yet strangely refreshed.

        • Regret

          If as a parent you choose the right gender bedsheets for your child, you obviously care a lot about your child. At the same time, you are doing something terribly wrong when buying bedsheets.

          • Me not sure

            What would be wrong with a little girl liking Captain America, or a boy being a fan of Wonder Woman? They are both characters with admirable qualities.

    • H0mer0

      I would totally like webbed feet for swimming. Alas, I have what my dad calls “tree feet” (has a branching look to them.)

      • Me not sure

        I guess you must just lumber along, then.

  • anon_the_great

    The follow up question should be, “Well, exactly why are the KKK horrible?” The answer, if he could give one, would be illuminating.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I never want to see that Friendship Macht Frei pony again. Ever.

    • Regret

      Yeah, that one pissed me off.

  • Joe T.

    He looks like the love child of Romeo Rose and Dory.

    • Dory libelz! I’m sure the other person as well, but i don’t know who that is

      • Joe T.

        You must Google him

      • Frank Underboob

        What @AintNoUserNameBigEnough:disqus said. Romeo Rose is … special.

  • handyhippie65

    what the literal fuck?! i’ll admit, as an old d&d player, the title grand wizard is cool, that would in no way push me towards, or even want to think about the kkk. the kind of people who are attracted to groups like them, are the ones who stuffed the nerds in their lockers as kids. you think they want to hang out with them now? “huh, huh! member when i stuffed you inna locker? think i can do it again? huh, huh”

  • TimResistit

    “The coolness of D&D terms”.

    I can’t get past that statement.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      His brain was frozen by a Frost Toad.

      • Jamoche

        Replaced by a Gelatinous Cube.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      That dude is what I would call, Lawful Stupid.

      • TimResistit

        Missed his saving throw against Loserhood.

      • Regret

        Exactly!

    • Serai 1

      Inorite? When did anything having to do with D&D become “cool”?

      • Dazza

        *Looks down. Shuffles feet*
        Oh.
        Table top gaming isn’t cool?
        I’ll just sit way over here so my nerdy tears of lonely regret don’t splash on anyone.

  • Nockular cavity

    GANDALF WAS A NAZI

    • Oblios_Cap

      Dumbledore sounds pretty National Socialist to me, too.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Gandalf the Grey was way too chill. Watch out for Gandalf the White tho’.

  • CripesAmighty
  • beingreleased

    Did anyone see the Erol Morris movie Mr. Death: The Rise and Fall of Fred A. Leuchter, Jr.? It was about a guy who became a self-taught expert in execution machines. As an expect, he was asked by a Holocaust denier to look into the gas chamber in Auschwitz. He didn’t know what he was doing and concluded that it was never used as a gas chamber.

    Here’s the part I found somewhat tragic. When actual experts pointed out the mistakes in his methods (e.g., he had chipped a piece of the wall of the chamber and sent it out for a gas chromatograph analysis. This said there was no poison gas. However, the poison gas molecules only adhere to the outermost layer of the chunk, so he performed the wrong test), he dug in, refused to admit he was wrong, and became a Holocaust denier. I don’t think he started out that way, but his ego pushed him in to it.

    This google guy sounds the same to me. He did something stupid, and instead of admitting it, he’s doubling down and going full nazi.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      So many people just can’t admit when they are full of shit.

    • Jamoche

      Fred Clark calls it the Bad Jackie syndrome:

      http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2010/09/19/jackie-at-the-crossroads/

      “Nope,” Dan says. “Urban legend. Look.”

      He hands her the phone with this page from Snopes.com on the screen, disproving the story.

      Now Jackie is at a moral crossroads. She has to make a choice. The actual facts do not appear to be in dispute, but she is invested in this story. She has told it before, several times. … Forced to choose by the Snopes page confronting her on Dan’s phone, she will either have to disavow or double-down.

      Bad Jackie cannot tolerate embarrassment, which means it is very important to her that she is never wrong — almost as important to her as pointing out when others are. Bad Jackie has got it in her head that this is where her value comes from. If she is right and others are wrong, then they are bad and she is good. So if she were to accept being wrong — even due to having been innocently deceived — then she would be bad. And she knows that deep down she has a good heart and so that can’t be true and she must be right after all. She must be.

      • Swampgas_Man

        I missed that ep of Roseanne.

  • Anna Rompage

    James Damore, I know name you Nimrod the Quite White, the Grand Imperial Wizard of Silicon Valley!

    BTW, you might want to get a little rhinoplasty work done, as some folks in your new community might suspect you of being a little too cosmopolitan for this new role you’re taking on…

    • JustDon’tSayPeter

      (((iswydt)))

  • redarmyzombie

    On behalf of nerds everywhere, I feel it my responsibility to say of Mr. Damore: We don’t want him.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Damore? Moar like Da-Less, amirite?!11?

  • Canis Greyhame

    I guess he figures his expertise in coding also makes him a genius at social theories, sort of like a Dunning-Kruger effect where you end up expressing admiration for the nomenclature of KKK leadership positions in a series of Twitter posts.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I thought his background was microbiology?

      • Three Finger Salute

        His frontground is microphallology, that’s for sure.

        • dieselox

          L. O. L. best comment in about 6 inches plus or minus

      • Frank Underboob

        He was lying about having a PhD in it.

  • Randy Riddle

    James Damore, why is the world forcing you to punch yourself in the balls?

  • There is no grand wizard in d&d. This loser is a fake nerd

  • Jamoche

    Honey, even the guy who has to spell out “wizzard” on his hat is cooler than you.

    • Charles Insandiego

      I miss Pterry.

    • Opiwan

      Morans, its “whizerd”!!one!1!

  • natoslug

    You would think that someone who worked at Google would have had to sit through at least one introductory course on logic.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Nah, just while-do-for loops. Nothing about obsolete humans and their messy, buggy emotions. Meatspace will always be in /dev/hell. It doesn’t systematize.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    “…Can we admit that their internal title names are cool, e.g. ‘Grand Wizard’?”

    https://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/haha-fuck-you-i-m-a-unicorn.png

    …Which is much cooler than being a low-life racist shithead Klansman, as 5 out of 4 math-challenged Wonkers agree!

    “You know you’ve moralized an issue when you can’t criticize its heroes or acknowledge any positive aspect of its villains.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8272b92e014b044aa1b52d092f688b4c1fcac3b17aa9059fa3c9e4ab4d6e0c6d.jpg

    I’m sure they’re very fun people with whom to drink cheap beer, huff butane, and recklessly discharge firearms.

    “It’s like teaching your child to be responsible about drugs and sex without addressing the fact that they can be fun.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/752077e53fd5e3266b143722db1c16235b552367a6a4b1de69f038cd28b8b920.png

    Cross burnings and lynchings are fun? I’d rather the children just stick to the drugs and sex. After they finish their homework.

    • Amy!

      D’you suppose D’more is just d’reaming of the d’ay he can say, “I put on my robe and wizard hat”?

    • Opiwan

      Anyone else find it amusing that all of those flags are different colors, and so ostensibly don’t represent what they think they represent? Well, I find it amusing, at least.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Oh, they love their flags, and marching around, and shouting a lot, and taking orders…

        • kareemachan

          And then there’s the rolling pins….

          Anybody ever figure if the obese thing on the left is a female or major man-boobs dude?

    • Erala Contratista

      What is “moralizing an issue” anyway?
      Words, what they do mean?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        He’s just another asshole, complaining about being called an asshole.

      • The Flaming Carrot

        I think it must be related to “virtue signaling.” (As if those Nazi punks weren’t constantly “virtue signaling” to each other and to their blonde, buxom objects of desire).

  • mardam422

    Have we reached peak Damore? Just wonderin’ what’s next if not.

    • Geesquared

      We’ve jumped the Damore shark.

    • You: Look, I have nothing good to say about Nazi flammenwerfers, but that is one cool helmet, ya gotta admit it…

      • Begin Anew Day

        Fuck that helmet. Fuck the asshole in it. Fuck the flamethrower too.

        Nazis suck at such a high level that they make EVERYTHING they touch, say and do sucky.

        Period.

        Oh. BTW. Fuck All Nazis Now And In The Next World, Worlds Without End. A-FUCKING-MEN!

        • Regret

          Well, Nazis wore their underwear beneath their pants, can you believe that?!
          You’d better start wearing your underwear on the outside of your pants then.

  • Serai 1
  • Alan

    Ummm…how did he keep the job so long.

    • Molon Labe

      Exactly, he all snuggled up in Mother-Google penning a Pony’s Guide to Mein Kampf and it isn’t a problem until he shares it with the wrong people?

    • phoenix00

      There wasn’t a Trump to open this wretched Pandora’s Box.

  • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh

    What a douche. If you have TRP you can give yourself any shitty title you want. No one has a copyright on grandiose imaginary D&D titles, so no one is forcing you to be in the KKK aside from yourself, Mr. Damore, and because you WANT to, you bodypillow humping scrote.

    • Erala Contratista

      My question is D&D is still a thing? For kids older than 12?
      How about Pong?
      Asking for a fiend……..

      • dieselox

        Yes. My son is 16, and…oh wait, he stopped a couple years ago. OK, but his friend’s dad is 45 and still invited to national D & D things, to DM and such. So yeah, it’s a thing.

      • Regret

        Pong got replaced by airhockey, but D&D is still a thing. It has shaped many computer games as well, and keeps doing so. It is not going away any time soon.

  • nightmoth

    Harumph, google boy who doesn’t know how to google! There’s NOT a Grand Wizard in the KKK: there’s a Grand Dragon, with assistants called Hydras. There’s also, in every chapter, a Klaliff, Klokard, Kludd, Kligrapp, Klabee, Kladd, Klexter and Kleagle. And none of these names are cool: they’re ridiculous. They sound like infants learning to talk.

    • Molon Labe
      • nightmoth

        Oh, that’s interesting! So there was a KKK Grand Wizard from 1865-1869. Google boy is DEEP in the past.

        • Boojum

          Oh, and David Duke

    • Lorindel Ó Loingsigh
    • pstokk

      Well, the Lions Club has a Tail-twister. So that’s pretty dumb too.
      I shudder to think what the Rotary has.

      • Erala Contratista

        I know there are/were RotaryAnns for the wimmens.

        • H0mer0

          kinda like the Raggity Andy?

      • Boojum

        A wankel.

        • Zippy49

          +1 for motorhead joke!

          • Malaclypse

            Lemmy Libelz…

    • Erala Contratista

      Kligrapp, Kladd and Kludd walk into a dive bar…..

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Krazy Kocksuckers

      • Jim QuinnX

        Klearly

    • Dazza

      Holy cow. Klexter? Klokard?
      Do the members of the Klan understand just how dorky these titles are?
      *snerk*

    • dieselox

      They need a Kegle, so they can squeeze it off.

      • nightmoth

        Oh, my—internet WIN!!!

    • Boojum

      My great grandmother was a Kleagle, until she realized the Klan is stupid and evil.

      • nightmoth

        My father’s 2nd cousin was the Grand Dragon of Georgia. We didn’t have anything to do with that twig of the family.

  • Christopher Story

    Projection. He’s just making up excuses for why he’s always been an asshole. Classic bullying technique, as well. When he’s attacking others he’s just “stating facts,” but when he’s attacked, it’s so unfair.

    • phoenix00

      Sound familiar *ahem*DJT?

  • Donna Schoenkopf

    Superb, my darling dorter!

    • Amy!

      The return of Commie Mom!

      Upfisted for solidarity. :-)

      • sw19hoofywoofy

        *makes panicked attempt to clear all the pizza boxes and empty cans off sofa*

      • H0mer0

        how does she stay so young?

  • brucej

    Dude needs to meet a different wizard, quite frankly…
    https://i.pinimg.com/564x/2a/cc/e9/2acce9babc1449d83a5760aa6f6d6dff.jpg

  • kfreed

    Where could Damore have gotten his anti-diversity views besides the KKK? Oh yeah, let’s have a closer look at Silicon Valley’s neo-Confederate Libertarians, shall we? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/88ead83d17e6a73453b05e62c91d8148b19e48b2335d447964a24a7f4a33bf13.png

    “Homophobia, racism and the Kochs: The tech-libertarian “Reboot” conference is a cesspool” (with Rand Paul presiding):
    https://pando.com/2014/07/18/homophobia-racism-and-the-kochs-san-franciscos-tech-libertarian-reboot-conference-is-a-cesspool/

    Libertarian Charles Murray’s bogus eugenics “research” has been making the media rounds (the left has also been quoting him lately): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Murray_(political_scientist)

    SPLC on Charles Murray: “Charles Murray, a fellow at the American Enterprise Institute, has become one of the most influential social scientists in America, using
    racist pseudoscience and misleading statistics to argue that social
    inequality is caused by the genetic inferiority of the black and Latino
    communities, women and the poor.”
    https://www.splcenter.org/fighting-hate/extremist-files/individual/charles-murray

    Ron “White Power” Paul: http://www.politicalresearch.org/2013/11/22/nullification-neo-confederates-and-the-revenge-of-the-old-right/#sthash.Mg7Cy8l7.dpbs >>> http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2007/11/dark-side-of-paul-phenomenon.html >>>
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEC68vTQwP8

    Peter Theil: “The 1920s were the last decade in American history during which one
    could be genuinely optimistic about politics. Since 1920, the vast
    increase in welfare beneficiaries and the extension of the franchise to
    women — two constituencies that are notoriously tough for libertarians —
    have rendered the notion of “capitalist democracy” into an oxymoron.”
    https://www.cato-unbound.org/2009/04/13/peter-thiel/education-libertarian

    The Koch-funded Libertarian “Young Americans for Liberty” college tour, featuring neo-Confederates (video): http://littlegreenfootballs.com/article/42436_The_Convergence_of_Glenn_Greenwald_and_Rand_Pauls_Southern_Avenger

    More on that neo-Confederate college “liberty” tour: “Libertarian Bum Fights”

    “The president and co-founder of the Future of Freedom Foundation,
    Jacob Hornberger, joined Greenwald and Fein for their college tour as
    the third celebrity libertarian on what was billed as the “Civil Liberties College Tour.”
    Hornberger has some pretty extreme libertarian views of his own that
    one assumes Greenwald must’ve not been aware of when he agreed to tour
    with him: Hornberger opposes civil rights laws banning racial discrimination, opposes minimum wage, opposes democracy, and argues that America’s freest days were the pre-Civil War years, back in the halcyon days of plantation slavery (which Hornberger
    concedes was “an infringement”).

    Every traveling circus needs a good emcee, and the
    Greenwald-Fein-Hornberger “Monsters Of Libertarian Rawq Tour 2012”
    didn’t disappoint: each of their college campus performances featured
    “moderator” Jack Hunter, a.k.a. “The Southern Avenger.” Yes, that Jack Hunter — Rand Paul’s white supremacist staffer and ghost writer forced to resign in July after Hunter’s bizarre pro-Confederacy puke (“John Wilkes Booth Was Right”) was exposed. The “Southern Avenger” is a staffer at Young Americans for Liberty, sponsor of the Greenwald-Fein-Horberger college campus tour.
    https://www.nsfwcorp.com/dispatch/libertarian-bum-fights/

    Libertarians are the problem. The Libertarian platform/agenda, one should note, includes opposition to Planned Parenthood and Civil Rights (hence the support for Trump): https://www.sanders.senate.gov/koch-brothers

    Thank Ron Paul and Greenwald for that: http://www.yaliberty.org/posts/yalcon14-videos-ron-paul-glenn-greenwald-rand-paul

    Ya’ll need to stop playing footsie with Libertarians (Greenwald in particular): http://www.salon.com/2007/11/12/paul_3/ >>> Greenwald’s response to SPLC’s Dave Neiwert re: Paul: http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2007/11/ron-pauls-record-in-congress.html >>> http://dneiwert.blogspot.com/2007/11/dark-side-of-paul-phenomenon.html

  • catnmus

    “A Sad Sexist Underground Railroad Train”? Is that an ASShURT?

  • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

    Noooo, now they’re even ruining my kinky robe and wizard hat roleplay!

    • Regret

      A WIZZARDS STAFF HAS A KNOB AT THE END!

  • Soo… the KKK is just cosplay for nerds to give themselves cool titles? I guess I missed how that would fit in with the blatant racism and violence.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Weird. When my wife and I want to cosplay with cool titles, we just dress up as draenei and shit.

    • phoenix00

      It is a pretty simple cosplay – white sheet and pointy white hat.

  • Swampgas_Man
  • amrak63

    Dashie libelz!

  • amrak63

    Dashie don’t salute no Ratzi flags.

    https://i.imgur.com/dIXnnme.png

  • Hogwarts, good.
    Pigsty, bad.

  • Steve Heronemus

    Wait, wasn’t this goof a *programmer*, where one needs to use logic and syntax rules? And he wonders why he was fired?

    • Regret

      The guy is an idiot and becoming more and more unhinged by the moment. His manifesto is worth reading though, not all of his arguments are worthless, they are just built on a few wrong assumptions.
      You can learn a lot from the manifesto about the pitfalls of reasoning based of bad assumptions.

      I have a link to the original:
      Googles_Ideological_Echo_Chamber-FINAL.1.1 – Googles-Ideological-Echo-Chamber.pdf

  • The Librarian

    D&D and KKK go hand and hand, since when? Not when I played. But then, I was a mage and had awesome spells, including anti-gas chamber. We Joos know what’s important.

  • ziggywiggy

    My high school mascot was the dragon. It was in small town Indiana, and was rumored to be named for the Grand Dragon from the KKK. Indy has a strong klan history, when I was 5 years old a black family moved in down the road from me in an all white town. They had 2 kids, I was excited because the girl was my age and I would have a new friend to play with, but I never even got to meet her. I remember staring out the window as we drove by their house and there was a cross burning in their front yard, the whole family was just standing there. They moved out immediately. My parents couldn’t explain it and I still don’t understand it nearly 50 years later.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      It’s like an episode of Cold Case: the Right-Wing X-Files. Several people I knew in college confirmed that the KKK was active in their towns in Indiana.

      • kareemachan

        A friend’s aunt found an old KKK costume in the attic of the house they bought. This was in a small town in WA state.

      • Teto85

        The KKK had its “World Headquarters” in Indianapolis in the 1980s.

        • The Flaming Carrot

          Oh, I thought it was Martinsville.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    He’s wrong, you know. There is no Grand Wizard. There is only an Imperial Wizard. Well, isn’t that just wizard?

  • BreakingDeadMen

    When he plays D&D, his character is Chaotic Stupid

    • Delu

      More like Stupid Stupid.

      • SavageElbow

        That would be called True Stupid, technically.

        • Rohirim36

          Does it really matter? His parents just rolled all 1s when they were drawing up his character sheet.

    • Regret

      He seems more like the Lawful Stupid type.
      He has rules and principles that he keeps to way beyond the point where they apply. A law like we only want strong characters in our adventuring party, so healers and mages may not join, ending up with 3 warriors and a barbarian.

      Chaotic stupid would be constantly breaking sensible rules like not setting your hair on fire while you are trying to be inconspicuous or trying to backstab a porcupine with your dick.

      • BreakingDeadMen

        So he’s a Lawful Stupid Dorc. Wait, that’s a cool acronym.

  • Maybe

    If you want Grand Wizards you don’t need to go to the KKK for them. Any nerd should know that.

  • HazooToo

    Fuuuuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu, D&D is not the sole domain of racist fuck-knuckles, you pasty ass runt!

  • JJ O’Shaughnessy

    Its true. Without the KKK, the only place you could talk about Dragons is Wales, and the Welsh flag.

    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/dc/Flag_of_Wales.svg

    • Capslock

      Welsh Dragons rool while KKK dragons drool, though

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Cymru am byth.

  • dieselox

    Isn’t he that squatty potty guy? Reminds me of him anyway.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=YbYWhdLO43Q

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Too much charisma to be the beta in question.

      • dieselox

        Good point. Thanks for setting me straight. I just love the squatty potty video.

  • covfefesumgame0005

    not ALL nerds dammit!

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • phoenix00

    Good nerds libelz!!!!

    (especially since I’m one of them!)

  • Michael Lindsay

    Pictured.
    https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/91/CurtisAllgier.jpg
    Probably not the guy who knows where to find the THACO table in 2nd ed!

    • Malaclypse

      I think you mean THAC0…

      • Michael Lindsay

        Yes, true. I lose nerd points forever.

    • The Flaming Carrot

      Wow . . . he saved Lt. Aldo Raines about 15 minutes of work, and he probably paid for it, too.

    • CovfefeOfTheThoughtlessMind

      He seems nice.

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    On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  • caleb smith

    The uniforms were pretty awesome, this much is clear.

  • Raan

    Don’t be a D&D nerd like this Nazi prick, be a D&D nerd like Vin Diesel.

  • The Flaming Carrot
  • Jim QuinnX

    In my hometown of Akron, Ohio, the Ku Klux Klan took over the school board in the 1920s. They wanted to make sure there was no tolerance for any language other than English. Plus, they wanted to make sure kids learned The Truth About Catholicism.

    The establishment Republicans in town were horrified, so they got a local attorney named Wendell Wilkie to organize a political campaign that ejected the Klan from office. Folks were so impressed that Wilkie began climbing the political ladder, and in 1940 he was the Republican candidate for President. That part didn’t work out, but Wilkie was pretty effective in the dragon slaying department.

    • (((Aron)))

      Wendell Wilkie is one of my political heroes.

      • Jim QuinnX

        After he beat the Klan, Akron’s Italian community invited Wilkie to be grand marshal in the Columbus Day Parade. Wilkie accepted, and he discovered later that many of the locals assumed he must be Italian because he stood up for the Catholics. Plus, his name ended with a vowel. You can see how that might be confusing.

  • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

    Pffft. Just another cranky beta. As if he knows anything about sex being fun.

    • H0mer0

      He kinda looks like Pete Townshend. I’d do him but the stupid and entitled attitude a turn off.

  • arcessita

    Funny, when I got bullied for being enamored of wizards and dragons, I didn’t join the KKK. I joined a fucking D&D group.

  • Invidosa

    As the girlfriend of a dyed in the wool, d&d playing, self admitted, table top gaming, math genius super nerd I am officially offended that these fuckers are trying to co-opt the proud title of nerd

  • Gussie Jives

    Ten bucks has this guy using the term “normie” unironically within the next two weeks.

  • Pazuzu75

    If you don’t think liberals let you acknowledge the coolness of d&d terms than you’ve never been to MIT or any similar place.

    Fact is this guy is a conservative loser desperate to play the victim. He should quit whining, put his big girl panties on and come to grips with fact that people don’t like him because he’s an insufferable twit with a massively over inflated ego. Not because he’s a “nerd”.

    • Rohirim36

      Yeah, he definitely failed that intelligence check.

  • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

    Holy shit what the fuck there’s a million outlets for nerds who love dragons and elves and shit.
    The KKK doesn’t even give a shit about that stuff, if medieval fantasy was reality they’d hate the elves and dwarves and merfolk anyway.
    How stupid is this fucker?

    • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

      Also, violent racism is inherently a moral issue, you libertarian asshole. It doesn’t have to be “moralized”.

      • JDM

        Why are you moralizing morality? Next you’ll be politicizing politics.

        • Mysterious Masked Wrestler

          Sounds like you’re trying to rationalize my rationale.

  • Rohirim36

    I think dude forgot about that whole Lord of the Rings thing that’s been going on since . . . oh I don’t know . . . the middle of the last century?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Also too there’s some TV show with dragons in it that all the kids are watching these days, I think.

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