Donald Trump, our American president, is very famous for not apologizing. Like, the one time he did apologize, for grabbing unconsenting puss and bragging about it, it came out like this:

“I’ve said some foolish things, but there’s a big difference between the words and actions of other people. Bill Clinton has actually abused women and Hillary has bullied, attacked, shamed and intimidated his victims.”

That is just a very good apology. FOR BILL CLINTON DOING RAPE.

But, according to the Turkish president, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, there’s one other time President Trump apologized, and it was to Turkey, for that unfortunate time the Turkish president’s bodyguards all got indicted for going wilding on American protesters, in America, as the Turkish president directed them personally from the back seat of his sweet ride.

Via PBS:

“Actually, President Trump called me about a week ago about this issue. He said that he was sorry, and he told me that he was going to follow up on this issue when we come to the United States within the framework of an official visit.”

An official visit! Who does the Turkish president think he is, the dictator of the Philippines?

During that small scuffle, Turkish bodyguards complained that the DC police weren’t “intervening” in Americans protesting the Turkish dictator, “so the guards moved in to disperse them.” They did this by choking out women, and kicking the teeth out of old men’s heads. Then they demanded an apology.

Turkish diplomats, though, criticized the local police for failing to quell an “unpermitted” and “provocative” demonstration.

The Turkish foreign ministry’s statement on Monday went even further, criticizing “the inability of U.S. authorities to take sufficient precautions at every stage of the official program.” And it demanded that the United States conduct a “full investigation of this diplomatic incident and provide the necessary explanation.”

Sarah Huckabee Sanders says no apology, no apology, YOU’RE the apology.

But who are you going to believe? The thug who sets his goons on people and fixed the last election, or the Turkish president?


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  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • wait! what?

      Russia is the Doug Neidermeyer of Internet shenanigans.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Dear Roosha,

      Payback gon’ be a motherfuckin’ bitch.

      Believe that.


      A critical thinking American patriot that isn’t dumb enough to buy your blatant propaganda.


      Go fuck yourselves.

      • HellhathnofuryDemme

        Everything alright?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Business is practically at a standstill right now. And We haven’t been able to find ANY govt. agencies that help with “loss of income due to act of nature” unless you have serious property damage.
          Which we don’t.
          And if we did, we don’t own the property. Just the business.
          This might be the end of our family business.

          • HellhathnofuryDemme

            Oh, no!
            Glad you’re OK, but how horrible!
            Can we help?

          • MynameisBlarney

            Like I told Kiri, thanks, but I’m gonna hold as long as I can to see if I/we can sort it out ourselves.
            I’m one of those stubborn folks that hates askin’ for help from anyone.

          • HellhathnofuryDemme

            Well, if the time comes, let us know if your business has a website we can go to, so we can support it.
            All the best!

          • MynameisBlarney


    • TJ Barke


  • weejee
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Il Ducke

    • Daniel

      Come on, you can do better than this canard.

    • OneYieldRegular

      Just. No.

    • Oblios_Cap

      The hair’s too neat.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Given that Donnie can’t ever apologize or show weakness, it might actually be possible that SHS is telling a very small, microscopic truth.

  • Joe Beese


    Can you imagine being accused on national television of sponsoring a law that would hurt millions of people, and lying about its effects, and your response is “We have a deadline”

    • PubOption

      By which he means a line of dead people.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      I love the lede:

      “Senate Republicans Are Abdicating Their Governing Responsibility”

      Jonathan Chait thinks Republicans still realize they have a responsibility to govern. That’s just precious!

      • Joe Beese

        He’s a bit of a silly.

  • jesterpunk

    Remember when the GOP complained about Obama apologizing to other world leaders? Yeah more projection from them.

  • BadKitty904

    But did Donnie BOW to the Turkish dictator? That’s the real question.

    • calliecallie

      He only bends the knee to Putin.

      • wait! what?

        He’s bent his knee so many times he’s gone bald on top of his head where people have placed beer and pretzels.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          Yeah, well, me too…

          • Paul

            Tut tut. I don’t believe that for a minute. College wrestlers have to “make weight” and have little use for beer or pretzels. Too many calories.

          • Gayer Than Thou

            Good point.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      …while wearing a tan suit?

      • BadKitty904


      • Clark_Nova

        And fondling his magical orb?

  • chascates

    Melania just gave a speech at the UN. Her eyes are scary looking. That plastic surgery makes her eyes look as if she’s looking at an evil clown. Which I suppose may not all be due to plastic surgery.

    • Oblios_Cap

      She’s been hanging around one so long that she’s starting to look that way.

    • therblig

      Ivanka not available?

    • Clark_Nova

      I’ve never actually seen her eyes, just soulless black slits. Do they slather her with SPF1000 to keep her from bursting into flames in the daylight?

  • Scooby

    Trump just got confused and thought he was pardoning the Thanksgiving turkey.

    • therblig

      now, on to the crisis in Turduckistan

  • Iron Monkey

    In other news, Trump apologized to Hurricane Harvey because Texas got in its way.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “It was going to be big, the greatest, nothing that size ever, and you people got in its way.”

  • Mavenmaven

    See, Pol Pot, timing is everything. If you were around today, Trump would be inviting you to the White House.

    • Daniel

      “I told Rick Perry not to come, those glasses, right? You know what I mean. You know, you, they all get it. Because he would have him, you know. Probably. Kill him, in the head. Pol would. We have a great time.”

    • Clark_Nova

      The US government (and China, 50% each) financed the Khmer Rouge for 21 years after the Vietnamese Army attacked Cambodia and invaded in 1979. We gave them food, weapons, money and military intelligence. All we asked for in return was to have Pol Pot drive the Viets out. Every US President from Carter to Clinton was Pol Pot’s BFF.

      It only ended because the KR officially disbanded in 2000.

      This was after the “Killing Fields” genocide, which, although we didn’t finance it directly, we were directly responsible for.

  • beingreleased

    Trump just released a teaser for the season finale:

    • Daniel

      Again, he runs the country like it’s a reality show.

      • cmd resistor

        A not very entertaining one.

      • Paul

        He’s fucking OBSESSED with ratings.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He’ll release it in the Friday news dump. Because, Trump.

      • Daniel

        What’s the betting his plan is “change nothing”?

        • therblig

          let it implode

      • Krombopulous Pichael

        no no, we have to wait til the season finale for him to do his big reveal!

    • TundraGrifter

      Since the Iran agreement is a multi-national one, I’m sure those who signed it were thrilled to sit in the UN and hear what a horrible one it was for the US of A.

      • Clark_Nova

        I believe that most of their ambassadors left the hall before Trump could speak.

        • TundraGrifter

          Aren’t Great Britain, France and Russia part of the Iran nuclear deal?

  • arglebargle

    Elect a clown, expect a circus.

    • Clown of Thorns

      Or a Stephen King story.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Um … we elected Hillary. The Electoral College appointed Trump instead.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Sadly, if Hillary were in the White House now, we’d still have a fucking circus because we’d still have a Republican Congress. It’s just that she wouldn’t be the ringmaster.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Trump followed up by apologizing to the Nazis for run-over protestors having damaged one of the Nazis’ cars.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Hey how’s that Trump Towers Istanbul project going?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      It’s just a few apologies and one extradition away from final approval!

  • ManchuCandidate

    Dick “I shot an old guy in the face and he apologized” Cheney approves.

    • AshleeSCuster

      Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
      On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
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  • Oblios_Cap

    I’m surprised Trump hasn’t given up Fethullah Gülen to the Turks.

    • SayItWithWookies

      And Mike Flynn is probably still pissed that plan never took off.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Why did Mustafa Kemal’s secular democracy get the works?

      That’s nobody’s business but the Turks.

    • Me too.

  • Nephilim

    He is yet to apologize to staunch allies he has personally insulted: Montenegro Prime Minister Dusko Markovic, London Mayor Sadiq Khan, Chancellor Angela Merkel, NATO, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Trumbull, Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, etc. etc.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Pussies, obviously.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Trudeau deserves a soory too. Don’t forget “he’s a disgrace and shouldn’t be allowed to call himself President of Canada”. Newfoundland Friend my ass.

  • BigCSouthside

    Damn. Who IS more credible here?

    • Nephilim

      Neither. That’s the state of our national and international policies. Everyone lies, they believe their lies, and no one will not give an inch.

  • jesterpunk

    Oh good now the right wing is interfering in Germany’s election.

    Less than a week before Sunday’s vote that is likely to hand German Chancellor Angela Merkel a fourth term, evidence of anticipated Russian meddling has yet to materialize, but U.S. right-wing groups have interfered, according to German researchers.

    “So far we have not been able to track down any specific Russian activity,” said Simon Hegelich,” a professor of political science data at the Technical University of Munich who has advised the German government about the threat of hacking and fake news.

    Instead, Hegelich and others point to an alliance of mostly anonymous online trolls and extremist agitators who are disseminating right-wing materials through YouTube; messaging board sites like 4chan and reddit; and, a texting service.

    “A lot of the stuff we are seeing in Germany can be linked to, or is at least inspired by, the ‘alt-right’ movement in the U.S.,” Hegelich said, referring to a loosely defined group whose far-right ideology includes racism, populism and white nationalism.

    • Right wing, russian wing / tomato tomatoh.

    • Three Finger Salute

      See also that asshole Slavic dude working for Canuck Infowars who did #MacronLeaks. Leave Yurrop alone, shitferbrains.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • SayItWithWookies

    Erdogan better have tapes — because if the only people who heard this alleged apology are Assmouth and someone else, the someone else is going to get berated constantly until they give up.

  • Nounverb911

    Dear donnie, I’m still sorry you were elected.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      …by the system, not the people.

  • TJ Barke

    Fascists of a feather flock together…

  • JohnBull

    Real men apologize for stupid shit they do.

    • Duke

      I believe the term “real men” has been subverted to mean “insecure assholes.”

  • JMP

    Trump’s just sorry he can’t send official government thugs to beat up protesters against him and needs to really on the private volunteer brownshirts from his cult of personality instead.

    • JohnBull

      I’m sure one of those “constitutionalists” on talk radio would support that.

    • phoenix00

      Y’all Qaeda? Or Vanilla ISIS?

  • Beautiful Soup

    OT: #STILLMYPRESIDENT is on CNN right now.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      How does Barack look?

      • Beautiful Soup

        Presidential, as always.

  • arglebargle

    Recep Tayyip Erdogan about done broked the anagram machine…

    A Cad Eyeing Property
    A Tiny Orgy Peeper Cad
    Create A Prying Dopey

    • Three Finger Salute

      “A cad eyeing property” — He mindmelded with Netanyahu?!?

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    When’s he coming and where’s he going to be? I might like to be there….

  • bookish

    Ways to help Mexico after the quake.

    • Incoming Ham

      Has Trump even addressed the quake in Mexico?

      • phoenix00

        “Build the wall. That’ll stop the earthquakes. Believe me.”

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Apologies for tyrants, “fuck yous” to leaders of democracies.

    That’s our Donald.

    • laineypc

      It’s still a “I’m sorry that happened to you” without taking responsibility kind of notpology.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Except Trump dumbed it down a little? Or did Putin use the term Rocketsky Manovich?

    • phoenix00

      Taking pages out of Melon’s playbook, I see.

  • SnowBomber

    When Kelly approved this, did he forget Melania was giving a speech about bullying this morning?

  • “Tayyip, may I call you Tayyip? I’m going to call you Tayyip. I am so sorry that those stupid protestors made you feel bad and kept ramming their faces into your bodyguards’ fists. They’re very bad people. Getting blood all over those nice suits and those suits looked really nice, where do you get them? I want to upgrade my bodyguards’ wardrobe. Can you get me a good deal? I’m not saying you should threaten the tailor’s family, cause that would be bad. Bad like protestors. I wish it was like the old days when you could just order the Pinkertons to shoot them. Once I make America great again, I’m bringing back the Pinkertons, I can tell you that. Good American jobs for good American men with guns. Speaking of guns, it reminds me of hunting. Tell me, did the bird Turkey come first or did the you guys Turkey come first?”

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

    OT: Of course you are a ballistic expert. All that experience skeet shooting your opponents with anti-aircraft guns has paid off!

    • Me not sure

      You have to lead them once they leave the catapult. That’s how he earned his title.

    • Lambsendbeds

      I’m surprised Kim Jong-Un didn’t have the wind executed for messing up his hair.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      ‘Feeble dolt.” Lololol.

      • Joe T.

        The previous tweet to this one called him “Noted Toilet-Person“.

        Reading through their tweets, I can’t tell if it’s satirical or not. Either way, it’s brilliant.

        • JustDon’tSayPeter

          Of course it’s satire. Look at the logo. It’s a fkn Death Star!

          • Joe T.

            Hmm, still not sure…

  • theblackdog

    Dear Donnie,

    I’m sorry I know people who were more than happy to vote for you and let me know that they don’t give a shit whether I live or die.

  • andyshelt

    “Turkish diplomats, though, criticized the local police for failing to quell an “unpermitted” and “provocative” demonstration.”

    So I guess that if the protestors had a permit like those nice law-abiding neo-Nazis at Charlottesville then Trump would have fully sided with the demonstrators against Erdogan’s thugs?

    Is that right, Donnie?

    • Mike Steele

      Yo, Recep…it’s still legal to speak out here. You know, ‘America First’ and all that.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Something something a boot on your face for all eternity and then having to say sorry for getting shit on Big Brother’s shoe.

    Bizarro World Canada sucks.

    • phoenix00

      The Canada I live with is pretty damn bizarro, but we get by…

  • thewalkindude

    Donald Trump on Obama “apology tour,” June 13 speech in Manchester, New Hampshire: “We’ve tried it President Obama’s way, doesn’t work. He gave the world his apology tour. We got ISIS and many other problems in return. That’s what we got. Remember the famous apology tour? ‘We’re sorry for everything.’”

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    OT, but I figure we can always use a laugh:

    • Lance Thrustwell

      He may be an asshole, but at least he’s got a sense of humor!

      • ahughes798

        This proves he’s a world class asshole, but I knew this already. What a twat. Bitching about having to make his own tea.

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Those Gallagher boys are such nice guys!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I love those arseholes. Noel’s commentary on the DVD set of their collected videos is a hoot.

        • HellhathnofuryDemme

          I lived in London during the height of their fame.
          Those two were always fighting, and the press loved it.
          (Don’t think they gave a toss, either!)

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I was in Dublin! Every single busker had Wonderwall in the repertoire, even the goddam pipes players. I don’t know if it’s the accent and general Mancunian don’t give a fuck attitude, but those brothers cracked me up. Still do.

    • Viktor

      Sneak preview of Trainspotting 3 ?

    • Kooolest G

      even though he comes off like an asshole, he’s right. it’s not just the people who make his tea, it’s millions of musicians and the people who work in the industry around music that have all lost their jobs. a lot more than fucking coal miners.

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

    Donnie does not apologize to cancer patients. However he will block them on twitter.

    • Arguman

      I thought he couldn’t block people anymore? Or is that just on his “POTUS” account with the picture of him clasping his hands like an evil villain?

    • They are that desperate to keep their fans in the dark

    • phoenix00

      “I like the patients who don’t survive”

  • Poly_Ester

    Putin told his useful idiot to apologize and he did.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Even though Putin still hasn’t quite decided if the Orange Oaf is his useful idiot or his useless idiot.

  • Yeah but the Iranian nuclear deal! Now THAT’S an embarrassment for the nation!

  • Viktor

    Turkey, great on thanksgiving, but as a nation, terrible, horrible, sad.

    • BreakingDeadMen

      Beautiful country, great people, terrible dictator

      • javadavis

        Interesting house cats, also.

        • BreakingDeadMen

          We were there four or five years ago. I remember we ate at an all you can eat seafood in Istanbul. It closed at 10. Somewhere around 9:40, when the staff is ready for everybody to go, the cats descended on the place. I was impressed they had the cat population trained so well.

          • javadavis

            I was thinking of the swimming cats, but glad to hear that the cat natives have their own charm as well.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    This makes me so angry I can’t stand it. Never happen under a McCain or Romney, let along Obama.

  • phoenix00

    But who are you going to believe? The thug who sets his goons on people and fixed the last election serial liar, or the Turkish president, who is also a liar?


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