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This weekend, Judge Roy Moore — who is currently competing against the Trump-backed Luther Strange to be the Republican nominee for Alabama’s Jeff Sessions-imprinted Senate seat — gave a speech about race in which he referred to Native Americans as “reds” and Asians as “yellow.” It did not go over well, as you might have heard!

He said:

“We were torn apart in the Civil War — brother against brother, north against south, party against party. What’s changed?

Now we’ve got blacks and whites fighting, reds and yellows fighting, Democrats and Republicans fighting, men and women fighting. What’s going to unite us? What’s going to bring us back together? A President? A Congress? No. It’s going to be God.”

There is so, so much wrong with this statement. Starting with the racial slurs and moving on to the bizarre mischaracterization of racial conflict. Not to mention the fact that, as far as anyone knows, Asians and Native Americans have no beef to speak of. What is it, exactly, that they are “fighting” about?

Also, according to slave-owning Southerners, God was really into them keeping black people as slaves — so how “God” would have prevented the Civil War, I cannot begin to tell you.

There is actually a really good solution to all of this, and it is called “Stop being racist and sexist.” No God necessary! Just like how if Southerners had not insisted upon keeping human beings as property, the Civil War never would have happened.

Sigh.

Moore is now defending his use of the terms “red and yellow” by claiming they are in the Gospel that way. That’s how Jesus said it, so it cannot be racist! Are you calling JESUS a racist?

One would think that someone who has perhaps been best known throughout the years for insisting upon sticking plaques of the Ten Commandments in places where plaques of the Ten Commandments do not belong would have a wonderfully thorough grasp of the Bible and what is and is not in the Gospels, right?

Clearly, he does not, because that is not in The Bible at all. Rather, much like my favorite Mary Magdalene quote, “I don’t know how to love him,” it is actually from a song and not the Bible. A Sunday School song called “Jesus Loves The Little Children,” written by a guy named George F. Root.

As far as we know, George F. Root is not Jesus, nor did he write a Gospel in which Jesus was kind of a racist. Whoops! Also, it’s your OPEN THREAD.

[New Civil Rights Movement]

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  • Joe Beese
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I guess the plaintiffs are such losers that they are trying this for the moneyz.

    • Thiazin Red

      Sounds pretty easy to throw out. Using common phrases isn’t infringement.

    • therealpuredog

      Need moar Jesuits.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Jesuits gotta jesuit, mang, Dominicans gotta dominick.

        And I’m pretty sure Fransicans gotta fransisck, too.

    • little miss high and mighty

      We think the property rights only go to 5 words or someting.
      Palya gon’ Play sounds like a conventional expression or maybe a clice, widely used, so She’s way OK on this- if it gets far.
      Chuck Berry once had a great case against John Lennon for “Come Together” , lost. Flat top in the car next him song. (“Movin’ up With Me”, or something)
      Sorry, got shut the electro or I wd. ‘ve checked it out, but the precedents are many and most, strong.

  • Joe Beese
    • biologydave

      Can’t you just feel the sincerity?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Yeah, sure.

        /s

    • Three Finger Salute

      Also to deport 800,000 Dreamers to an earthquake-ravaged country that 1) they have never known and 2) not all of them even came from (they’ll just get dumped off in some random field in Mexico to die). So, STFU Melanoma. Go inject your face.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I’m sure she won’t feel a thing.

  • Joe Beese
  • jesterpunk

    Yack Yack Yack, get a job.

    https://youtu.be/2efhrCxI4J0?t=1m35s

    • everstar

      I still love this movie.

      • jesterpunk

        Me too, it’s a guilty pleasure.

        • everstar

          I’m especially tickled by it knowing that Jonny Lee Miller is currently playing Sherlock Holmes. I can see Holmes hacking a TV station to “fix” what was being aired.

          • jesterpunk

            Didnt he do something like that already? I know there have been a few episodes where he had hackers help him get info he needs.

          • everstar

            I’m super behind on Elementary so I’m not sure.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Good teevee series. Also must see Trainspotting and The Flying Scotsman.

  • ltmcdies

    OK I really am not following…where is this notion that repealing the ACA will make SP happen with this particular Congress. The mechanics make no sense

    And neither does this idiot

    https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/910209839082520576

    • jesterpunk

      Chris Hayes is normally pretty smart but I dont understand that “logic” either. Somehow they will kill the ACA then Bernie will ride in on a unicorn and demand medicare for all and everyone gets a pony and world peace is achieved. It just seems like magical thinking.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        The needle on my logic detector has not budged from the 0-stop.

      • jowgajen

        If that’s his logic then the folks who die from lack of care in between the ACA and his halcyon single payer land are just collateral damage in his fucking holy war.

        It’s the Sarandon fallacy.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          We are all collateral just waiting to be damaged by these scumbags.

          • jowgajen

            We were gonna die anyway, so it’s all good. Pass the quinoa salad.

      • Thiazin Red

        No minute abs!

    • Amelia Resists and Persists

      He made the same point on his show last night, justification being that Graham Cassidy hands all control to the states, meaning blue states could say, “fine, then we’re going single payer.” Meanwhile, the red states with lots and lots of poor people would be fucked.

      • jesterpunk

        But the ACA allowed states to set up single payer too and it failed because its too expensive for states to do it on their own.

        • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

          It’s why Vermont decided against it – on their own, SP would have required them to double their tax revenue just to break even.

          • jesterpunk

            And with California’s budget laws they would have had to take in more taxes then the current income of the state to pay for it. It has to be done at the federal level to work it isn’t something states can do on their own.

        • Amelia Resists and Persists

          Yeah, I’m not positive how GC would change the money part of it if the point is to hand out less to help people…?? If there’s a logical path to that made possible by the legislation I hope someone draws blue states a map.

          • jesterpunk

            The earlier bills cut funding for states that expanded medicare and gave that money to red states that didnt expand it to be “fair”. I remember Dok writing an article about this bill saying it does something similar then kills all funding from the federal government after about 10 years.

      • ltmcdies

        except I believe I read someone was adding a amendment preventing a state from using federal funds to go SP?

        or would that matter if all funding falls to the individual state

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      The bullshit is very strong with this one.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I don’t think it’s with this particular Congress. I always thought the argument was that now that people have gotten used to the accessibility of insurance/health care, they will raise holy hell and demand a return, and the only feasible option at that point will be single payer.

      That said, I think the economics of it become harder because once you undo the wealth redistribution of the ACA, more wealth is concentrated in the top 1% and it’s harder to shake that loose (as wealth as opposed to income) to get the necessary funds to pay for single payer.

      • ltmcdies

        geez louise, there is no guarantee Congress will flip and Trump still has his veto pen.

        they trusting way too many lives of that white middle class they profess to love so much, to an election months away and luck

  • Joe Beese
    • Thiazin Red

      What is the context for the blurry close up of that woman?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        The original thread was a reporter giving a shout out to fellow reporter Hayley Byrd, who is that blurry woman.

        • therealpuredog

          Blyrd, in other wyrdz.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Everybody’s hyrd about the blyrd. Even Lynyrd Skynyrd!

  • Pinkham’s Law

    Am I a bad person because I want to know how the rest of that twitter thread went?

    • jesterpunk

      If you guessed any responses criticizing him are being labeled as liberals attacking christianity and that him being wrong doesnt matter you would win a prize.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      No. And I am not a bad person because I don’t want to know.

      I may be a bad person for other reasons, but not for this.

  • Daniel

    “Not to mention the fact that, as far as anyone knows, Asians and Native Americans have no beef to speak of. What is it, exactly, that they are “fighting” about?”

    Same reason as anyone does anything for Republicans: it allows them to dilute their own guilt. Everyone is doing the horrible shit I’m doing, so it can’t really be that big a deal.

    Party of personal responsibility.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      When all else fails, create a new controversy.

    • everstar

      I also appreciate how black people pointing out that systemic injustice in this country leads to them being shot in the streets by law enforcement is casually brushed off as “blacks and whites fighting.”

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    This Roy Moore piece of shit epitomizes the so-called evilangelical christain scumheels who pollute the landscape with their ignorant, idiotic, slimy, grifting, bigoted scum. They are not worth the oxygen that they waste.

    If the devil existed, and the devil established a religion, it would look just like these vermin.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All these types can be traced back to the sects created by the Civil War, such as the Southern Baptist Conference.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Yup. If there was a god, it would really suck.

  • Vincent Ricola

    The war between the Asians and the Native Americans is destroying this country and tearing us all apart.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Jesus Christ Superstar ! Squeeeeeeeeee !!!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      And lily white.

    • Ellie

      Alt Jesus.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Jedi believe that no one is irredeemable.

      The Jedi never met Roy Moore.

  • Edith Prickly
  • Spurning Beer

    Blessed are the coloreds, for they have those nice negro spirituals.

  • James Baskin

    Jesus is having a beverage in a styrofoam cup! Yea!!!!!
    This may sound Strange but what we really need is less Moore.

  • The Wanderer

    Other things Jesus wouldn’t say:
    1. “Will you get these goyim outta here? It’s a schande!”
    2. “Ia Cthulhu ftaghn!”
    3. “No, Madeleine, I did NOT drink so much at that party that I died and came back three days later. I was in a state of knurd.”
    4. “You put the lime in the cocoanut and drink it all down.”

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Was this before or after he stated that the reason for all these shootings was that we weren’t right with the Big Guy upstairs?

  • Indiepalin

    Is it possible that the “yellows” and “reds” Judge Moore is referring to are actually different extraterrestrial alien species, which have been fighting among themselves since the dawn of time? And, if so, did they have a hand in perpetrating voter fraud in the 2016 election? Ancient Astronaut Theorists say Yes.

    • GreenGoldSharpie
    • Thiazin Red

      I really would like to find out if there is any question ancient alien theorists don’t say yes to. Is there something so dumb that even they would say “Hey, thats too far, wind it in”?

      • Vincent Ricola

        I got into a heated argument with my husband once over Ancient Aliens. It was crazy and I was ready to leave him when he used the words “ancient alien theorists” to try and prove a terrible point. We don’t watch that show anymore.

        • Indiepalin

          What a sad story.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        How about, “Are you a piece of shit idiotic ignoramus dingwaffle?”

        Ans: “Yes”

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸
      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        Something tells me Giorgio’s History Channel show is losing viewers and his ratings need a shot in the arm so ALIENS!

      • jesterpunk

        Wing Nut Daily is reporting Wing Nut news? I am shocked I tell you.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Yeah. And those aliens were probably “born again aliens”.

      /s

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I AM shocked! You mean, he paid a bill????!

      • Edith Prickly

        With other people’s money.

        • jesterpunk

          He paid for his kids boy scouts membership with donations to his slush fund and that was only $7. This isnt really surprising from him.

    • everstar

      I suppose this still leaves him a little ahead of Nixon’s crew, who paid off the Watergate burglars with a check made out to the re-election committee.

      • Three Finger Salute

        CREEP

        Committee to Re-Elect the President

        You can’t make this stuff up.

    • Gemz

      Great and I hope he wipes out the RNC funds for 2018 and then he resigns or is impeached taking all the dopes money that donated to him.

      Couldn’t happen to a better bunch of nincompoops!

    • Serai 1

      Well, fucking DUH. What, they actually thought all that money was for CAMPAIGNING? Jesus, talk about naive.

  • Catstro

    That song is why I stopped believing in God when I was 5 or 6. If a kid asks you why, if Jesus loves all the children of the world, are there babies starving to death in Ethiopia, come up with a better cover story than “they’re unbelievers”.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Especially since Ethiopia is largely Christian.

      • Werewolf

        Coptic, not “real” Christians.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Because Santa Claus is WHITE! Now fetch me my slippers, you little tar baby!”

      -Me-Again Kelly

    • SomeBigRedDog

      I stopped believing in god when I was nine and my sunday school teacher told me that my recently deceased cat would not be waiting for me in heaven because cat’s don’t have souls. I’m pretty sure my response included the first ever use of the word “bullshit” in that particular room. At least judging by her reaction. Sunday school teachers are full of shit.

      PS – As a dog I fullybelieve cats don’t have souls, but nobody should say that to a kid.

      • Ill-Advised

        A former preacher told me that the answer is good theology, but bad pastoral counseling.

        Probably why I’m investigating syncretic faith practices…

  • Joe Beese
  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Won’t someone think of the beiges?

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      Are they aligned with the neutrals?

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        There has been some trouble with the off-white contingents, and the tans are seeking to form their own coalition.

        • Three Finger Salute

          wut about the oranges, won’t someone plz think of the oranges?

          • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

            The oranges can go fuck themselves.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      And the plaids? Or the polka dots?

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        Tartans rights!

      • Edith Prickly

        Ahem – those are FRECKLES, not polka dots.

    • Crystalclear12

      I would like to go on record and say:
      Screw the purples.
      Barney was a song thief!

  • Vincent Ricola

    Judge Roy Moore didn’t even touch on the coming war with the White Walkers and, as a result, would not get my vote.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      They prefer the term “undead snow people,” so I hear.

      • Ill-Advised

        Jon Snow objected, but he knows nothing.

  • ltmcdies

    NK has responded demonstrating they too listen to Elton John

    https://twitter.com/ThomboyD/status/910249034450739200

    • everstar

      Poor Elton John. I’m sure he’s wondering how he got dragged into this.

    • Serai 1

      Hey, if this thing can somehow be transformed into a fucking Twitter war, I’m all for it. These two lunatics are both childish enough, they might get distracted by dick-waving and lose interest in actually throwing a fucking bomb.

      • ltmcdies

        I would be cool with that…

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The Bitch is Back!

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Never left, actually.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Wuz’ the Great Asian & Indian War (*known in Alabammy’ as the ‘Yaller’ & Ray-ud War’ ) as bloody as the Bowling Green Massacre?

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      I believe Ken Burns is currently working on a documentary about the Ocher Uprising.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Have you called your senators today?
    https://twitter.com/TopherSpiro/status/910204879427325952

    • Bill D. Burger

      Susan Collins is calling Graham-Cassidy “…worse that the previous ones.” So there’s some glimmer of hope.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Rep. Senators take the Hypocritic Oath: “Party over Country, so help me god.”

      • willi0000000

        “Party over Country, so help me god let me help myself to that.”

        [ had to ]

  • Thiazin Red

    The best thing about JCS is how Webber gives every character (except Harod who is kind of just a dick, but still has a catchy song) believable and sympathetic motivations.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      Yeah, for a rock musical about Jesus, it’s surprisingly intelligent. I’ve sat through a lot of Andrew Lloyd Webber stuff (wife & 2 daughters) and I think it’s his best, actually.

    • Arolpin

      (except Harod who is kind of just a dick, but still has the GREATEST song and dance) FTFY

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • Edith Prickly

      GO AWAY.

    • jowgajen

      I imagine his lawyers are super upset to be fired from their pro bono gig of defending this shitweasel.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Fuck this shit. [Remainder of comment redacted in deference to the Commenting Rules for Radicals.]

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        I was just going to post exactly what you said. But you saved me from the banhammer. Thank you!

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Happy to be of service!

    • FlownΩver

      Did he borrow his eyes from Stephen Miller?

      • PubOption

        He’s looking through Gary Gilmore’s eyes

    • willi0000000

      he should be put to work in the prison dispensary . . . making antibodies!

  • Daniel

    This is actually an insight into his unique eschatology. Just as many sects have different signs to watch for to signal the end, so does Moore. When unity is achieved between the red or the yellow- according to the number of the gospels- the “game” ends. Four red, four yellow. It’s elegant in its simplicity and earnest in its call for connexion.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, we’re already there.

      Asians and Native Americans hate Tangerine Nightmare equally.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I assumed he was referring to a football rivalry between ‘bama and whatever SEC team wears yellow uniforms.

      • little miss high and mighty

        LSU
        where Andre Codrescu taught for so long and from where James Carville graduated.Really hate those crimson tides, I am pretty sure.
        OLD SEC was like US1861-1865 including Bear Bryant.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Sandoval submarines Heller, says Graham-Cassidy-Heller-Johnson bill isn’t good for the states in general or Nevada specifcally.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Like they would give a fuck.

  • Three Finger Salute

    OK, semantic question. Why do we still say blacks and whites, but not reds and yellows? “Browns” and “Olives” AFAIK were never used in popular lingo. Neither was “greys”…

    https://alysondunlop.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/grey-aliens-1.jpg

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Reconstruction should have been a lot more harsh than it was. We’re paying for it today with people like Roy Moore.

    • GreenGoldSharpie

      That and we should have stamped everything in the South that modernized the region with “Made with Yankee Tax Dollars.”

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        It’s not too late to put up a few statues…

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          How about a Penis Obelisk in every city?

          With a fountain…

    • biologydave

      Thanks Andrew Johnson……

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I’m all for stealing Obama’s time machine and sending a few dozen tactical nukes back to General Sherman.

      And a few Strategic ones as well.

      Then, they can reconstruction the shit out of what’s left.

      • Parakeetist

        Amin.

  • Serai 1

    Hippie Jesus! Man, I loved the Superstar movie. First saw it in Spain when I was on vacation in 75, the year it premiered. Broke my tiny little mind, it did. I can still sing any of the songs by heart, and consider the introductory number to be one of the great musical passages ever.

    However…

    For sheer energetic, kickass hotness with a truly delicious erotic subtext, nothing beats the 2000 production starring Glenn Carter as the angelically 3D Postcard Jesus, and Jerome Pradon as his snarky, exasperated, jealous ex-boyfriend of a Judas. The interplay is hilarious, eyerolls, thrown-up-hands, sniping, and all. It starts in the very first song, with Jesus giving an “oh fuck me, not AGAIN” expression when Judas starts in on him. And it doesn’t stop, it’s amazing. (My favorite moment is at the end of Hosanna, when the crowd asks if Jesus will die for them, and Judas turns to him with this SEE? SEE? WHAT DID I FUCKING TELL YOU?? and Jesus can only facepalm. And that’s not getting into the fireworks whenever Mary Magdalene is involved.)

    Plus, holy shit, these people can fucking SING.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EW03GCm74M&list=PLcjhIRNyAuvFZe2anv7CIk4PpaloSel7b

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      From high skool:

      “Jesus Christ Superstar”
      “Who in the Hell do you think you are…”

    • Lyly Sirivong

      Glenn Carter is painfully dull as Jesus but I adore Jérôme Pradon. Saw him on stage a couple of times.

      • Serai 1

        On his own yes, but that fighting ex’s thing he has going on with Judas makes it worth the effort. Canadians!

    • little miss high and mighty

      Well Webber did write one of the songs in 5/4 (Everything’s Allright).
      Which was kind of progressive- and the rest of the tunes do have some catchyness or whatevers. Some of the songs , fact many of them have to be transposed in regionals and in tours due to the “professional” key signatures- or esles they split up the solos so all of the notes get sung.
      Not a trully EASY musical show, but inoffensive enough to have reached all of our divided audience- even atheist, apparently.

  • Shanzgood

    I wondered if he said “reds and yellows” after “blacks and whites”.

    I guess he missed where whites self-identity as whites (golly, even sometimes as white supremacists) and Blacks also self-identify as Black (see BLM) but Native Americans have been objecting that sportsball teams named “Redskins” are racist and the white male affliction called “yellow fever” is another racist problem.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “Now we’ve got blacks and whites fighting, reds and yellows fighting,…”

      WINNAR!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      That the Supreme Court handed the Washington football team an indirect trademark victory by ruling that prohibiting an Asian-American from trademarking “The Slants” violated the First Amendment was something strange to behold. Especially since it was an 8-0 decision.

      • Shanzgood

        *facepalm*

      • little miss high and mighty

        Greely’s “Fightin’ “Tighty Whiteys”- our fav. here.

  • Joe Beese
    • Daniel

      This is my favourite moment of every year.

    • Shanzgood

      Vegan baby buttholes in 3..2…1…

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Thanks! I needed a LOL! about now.

      • Panika MCD

        and then the yodeling began.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Just imagine trying to put a milking machine on that cow when her tail is freshly drenched in shit and she insists on swinging it at you. My childhood sucked shit.

      • grindstone

        Did you subscribe to Hoard’s Dairyman?

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          My dad did. And a few other magazines whose names I can’t remember.

    • aktlib101

      Did she have her boobs done? That tail is eerily similar to Trump’s headpiece

      • Daniel

        Moolania.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Cowabunga’! I am mooooved’! The steaks have been raised for next year, huh?
      Sorry…this was udderly uncalled for.

    • chazmanr

      You’re taking the open thread concept a little literally, me thinks.

      • Joe Beese

        I’m thinking outside the box! I’m subverting the paradigm!

    • jowgajen

      And here is Bessie, with her auburn coat, sporting the latest in tail grooming fashion. Moo for us, Bessie.

    • biologydave

      That is certainly one helluva cow.

    • bubbuhh

      Why iz cow eating that manz hand?

    • That cow has an impressive tongue!

    • Gemz

      Udderly fantastic!

    • Chianina or GTFO

      • grindstone

        Belted Galloway, you heathen, although this is likely dairy category only.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      ‘shopped

    • willi0000000

      did that cow break down?

      [ . . . can’t help but notice the front end is up on blocks ]

  • Joe Beese

    A… memorable advertisement.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4IFNKYmLa8

    • JCfromNC

      Well, okay then.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Nothing says “yummy!” like the idea of waking up old and disoriented, realizing everyone you’ve ever loved is dead, and being force-fed a frozen dessert treat by a robot.

      Maybe they can work on an assault and battery campaign for their dessert toppings.

  • Panika MCD

    what about the polka dotted children George/Jesus/Roy? are you saying that Jesus does not love the little children with chicken pox?

    for the record: Panika does not love the little children who grow up to make calendars for agency hearings which make no sense whatsoever.

  • armed_bears

    English. If it was good enough for Jesus and the Apostles, it’s good enough for me.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Category 5 hurricane on the way___Earthquake in Mexico___GOP Deathcare Zombie is up again___and a fucking idiot, incoherent madman addresses the UN General Assembly and the world.

    Fun Times…and it’s only Tuesday!

  • Ellie

    I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that a man who cannot remember the Ten Commandments unless they are carved on a giant rock instead of binding them on his fingers and writing them on his heart (really is found in Hebrew Scripture), would think that the song Jesus Loves The Little Children was found somewhere in one of the Gospels. I note he didn’t say which one – possibly because he doesn’t have that written on a giant rock. Also, he’s a racist and misanthrope.

  • Look, liberals, you can’t expect us to read EVERYTHING In the bible… I mean, have you seen how huge that book is? We got the paraphrase from our pastors: gays are bad, abortion is murder, guns are fucking awesome, unregulated capitalism makes Jesus happy, and God created America by handing George Washington the Constitution (also haven’t read it) written on two tablets of stone on Mt. Rushmore.

    • willi0000000

      are you sure you’re not my upstairs neighbor?

    • little miss high and mighty

      Don’t forget all the action and adventure in that last book
      (Catholics call it “The Apocalypse” others say “Revelations”)
      Most revisions of an text ever, anywhere.
      Latest is a 24 September doomsday we believe.
      Yijkes! that’s Germany’s election day.

  • Hey, maybe George F. Root WAS Jesus, you don’t know him! /sassyness

  • Crystalclear12

    How did we get here?!
    Did I miss a sign and accidentally take an off ramp to hell?!

    • Ricky Gay

      As the disciples once shouted, What’s the buzz, tell me what’s happening!

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Apparently smart, hot chicks won’t date losers.

      So now we all must die.

    • mancityRed6

      we all have. and it’s been going on since Nov.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Musta taken a wrong toin at Albuquerque.

    • wait! what?

      I was trying to buy Zebra Sarasa Super Fine Point Fineliner Pens on-line and then the murders started…

    • Werewolf

      Why is it so warm here? And what am I doing in this handbasket?

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Claiming a non-existent gospel is bearing false witness. If only he had a way to know that’s one of the Ten Commandments. But the libtards and the ACLU and the First Amendment won’t let him.

    • shivaskeeper

      Lying for Jesus is not really lying. If it was, the Religious Right wouldn’t have much of anything to say.

      • wait! what?

        Is it lying for Jesus or liars in Christ?

        • shivaskeeper

          Yes.

    • bubbuhh

      Every Xian knowz lyin only a sin if you aren’t jokin and it in court n you aren’t lying to help out Jesus.

  • bubbuhh

    Know whys menz n wimmenz fightin cuz Wonkette journalizmz all over that: Libberul chicks won’t do sexy times wif conservative peen.

    But redz fightin yellowz? Old Yeller bites Red Green cuz God don’t like Canadians?

    • Up fist for the Red Green call out.

    • Ricky Gay

      Only during pledge week.

  • Three Finger Salute

    I must have missed the epic hair-pulling of the Great Blond(e)-Ginger War. I guess the Brunet(te)s must have had more fun that time, because we were the neutral party.

  • lucidamente

    Didn’t Jesus also say “Even I cannot cure stupid?”

    • Panika MCD

      he just needed to apply himself more.

    • Joe Beese

      “Who touched me?” Jesus asked.

      – Luke 8:45

      And it wasn’t a rhetorical question.

      Son of God, my Aunt Fanny.

  • Lyly Sirivong
  • aktlib101
    • Even Melon’s expression is “what the fuck is this idiot talking about?”

      • Bozilingus

        “Vhat language is he speaking? I don’t understand any of this.” – Melania

        • mancityRed6

          that’s more of a “why is he looking at me? do I know him?” kind of look.

      • Vincent Ricola

        I think that’s the face she makes when she’s on her wireless charger.

      • SomeBigRedDog

        She’s struggling to scowl through the botox.

      • aureolaborealis

        Naw. They just forgot to give her headphones so she could understand what he’s saying.

    • Panika MCD

      why didn’t he get to approve the speech?

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        He probably did. But who knows what happened in the 5 minutes before Donnie got up there?

      • Rags

        Would be interesting to see the prepared text….

        • Panika MCD

          it would.

      • miss_grundy

        Even if he had approved the speech, Dolt 45 believes he can improvise anyway that he wants to because he is president.

        • Panika MCD

          he believed that before he was president.

    • Bill D. Burger

      When you feel you have sold your soul, integrity and last ounce of honor and decency for a White House position….that’s the look.

      Mel has it, but she’s used to it by now.

      • miss_grundy

        And she has had enough Botox injections and plastic surgery to not even have the look anymore.

    • miss_grundy

      Nobody forced him to take the job. He chose to. And now not only does he get to be embarrassed by this fool because he is an American but because he works for his administration as well. I only heard a snippet of what he said on NPR and that was enough for me. The reporter also stated that no one applauded after he made a toast during the luncheon. I wonder how he is going to spin this.

      • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

        They were so overcome by the greatness of his toast (the greatest toast ever by a POTUS) that they were stunned, left speechless, and forgot to clap.

      • willi0000000

        so, after the toast he found himself in ¡Jeb! country?

  • Gemz

    It is true in the bible it says God loves everyone especially the children but not their behaviors and he kinda wiped people out which is an odd way of showing love if you believe those stories but Jesus said it is up to us to love our neighbor and not throw rocks.

    I like that Jesus guy but not people that claim to speak for him like da judge.

    • Joe Beese

      This New Testament has been testing well, but I don’t know if it has legs.

      • wait! what?

        Where’s the Kosher section?

      • Three Finger Salute

        It’s a commie tract. Look at all this crap in here about helping the poor and healing the sick. Check out this part! Throwing moneylenders out of the temples? Who wrote this? Some godless hippie?

  • weejee
    • YoBunnyBunny

      How can I get one of them there calendars? Is there a desk edition for the office?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    pssst, hi everybody.

    Just checking in from the law library. Howdy!

    Back to work!

    • Crystalclear12

      Shhhhhhhhh

    • Panika MCD

      hey, go figure out what the calendar at 2:51:30 in this video means:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vXq6wQf9v8

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        eh? I’m not home yet.

        • Panika MCD

          FIGURE IT OUT. I helped you out already and I didn’t get a check in the mail!

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            it’s too small to read. But seems pretty straightforward. What’s your question?

          • Panika MCD

            what does it all mean? why is there anything in blue from a year ago?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            well, it’s a calender of how long stuff was going to take or something. Blue was pending, according to the notes at the bottom, so it sounds like they been working on whatever that is from a year ago.

            They don’t have a place to download the slides from the presentation? Committee website maybe?

          • Panika MCD

            what happened to the thing pending months ago?

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            still pending? The audio doesn’t help?
            (i luve you but I am NOT sitting through that shit right now).

          • Panika MCD

            no. it doesn’t. unless you have my decoder ring, but I’m pretty sure it was a victim of Hurricane Jazzy.

          • Panika MCD

            and, no, the materials are not on CPRIT’s website. it’s a shitty website.

    • jesterpunk
    • hendenburg2

      Just remember – if the librarians get mad at you, just stick a kit kat in their mouths!

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Yellows Vs. Reds, who will win Homer’s soul????

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    I feel so reassured by Republicans touting their new plan. “Our plan is better than Obamacare because it just is.”

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Because he’s wrong and we’re white. Er… right. Er… same thing.”

  • h4rr4r

    You southerners who dislike the sterotype about you, this guy is why they exist.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Deep Purple vocalist Ian Gillan was Jesus on the Jesus Christ Superstar album. He had a hell of a voice. He also thought he was one hell of an indispensable hot shit. When offered the role in the movie, he made outrageous demands for outrageous money. He was not Jesus in the movie.

    • Meccalopolis

      Hell of a singer though

    • Serai 1

      Have you heard the commentary on the film DVD? If you haven’t, man, you really should. Ted Neeley did it 25 years after the premiere, and it’s awesome. He has some great stories, and a deep love of the production. Hearing him talk about Carl Anderson in particular is deeply moving. Those two developed a really intense bond as they went on that spiritual journey, which must have been a hellaciously difficult one. I’ve always admired what they created together, and hearing Neeley talk about it is very inspiring.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I got to see the touring company of the original Broadway rock opera version in 1970, when I was 14. My mother didn’t want to let me go because the Pope said it was bad, but my father talked her into it. It changed my life, and I think that is what my mother (and the Pope) was afraid of. Then a local university put on a production of it when I was 23, and I got a part!!! That was so much fun, maybe the most fun I ever had! I love that show!!

  • ariel_gee_398

    How stupid do you have to be to think that the bible would contain racial slurs for ethnic groups that biblical-time folks hadn’t even met yet?

    • Serai 1

      How stupid do you have to be to think the idea of race even EXISTED back then? People then would have no fucking clue what you meant if you brought up black and white. They weren’t thinking along those lines at all.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Didn’t all of that Bible stuff happen in Africa and the modern day MidEast? I’m sure everyone was some flavor of brown, right?

        • Serai 1

          Christianity is a Middle Eastern religion, for all that modern Christians would like to pretend it’s European.

          • YoBunnyBunny

            But Jesus had blonde hair and blue eyes! It was a miracle, I tell ya!!!!

        • hendenburg2

          We don’t really know. There’s been enough foreign armies that swept through those regions that we don’t have a good idea of what people actually looked like back then.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Oh, I don’t know. Pretty sure humanity has been horrible for a really long time.

        • Serai 1

          What’s that got to do with the specifically modern idea of race? There are lots of ways of being stupid, that doesn’t mean our ideas were theirs.

          • WIDTAP

            Our modern idea of race isn’t even our modern idea of race. At some points in American history the Germans, Greeks, Hispanics, Irish, Italians, Slavs, or Ashkenazi Jews were not considered white people.

            The US Census defines race thusly:

            “The Census Bureau complies with the Office of Management and Budget’s standards for maintaining, collecting, and presenting data on race, which were revised in October 1997. They generally reflect a social definition of race recognized in this country. They do not conform to any biological, anthropological or genetic criteria.”

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I was going to quote from the Bible about the children of Ham, but unlike Roy Moore, I actually referred to that section of the Bible and now see that there’s no real merit to my argument. Other than to say that humans have always found ways to divvy ourselves up and fight needlessly.

      • hendenburg2

        Did you ever read anything in the New Testament concerning Samaritans?

        One passage that comes to mind was the one where a Samaritan woman approaches Jesus and asks him for help, and he tells her to fuck off because (and I’m paraphrasing) “Samaritans would rather give food to their dogs than their children”

        Or the Good Samaritan, which the fact that Jesus says that that one Samaritan in particular was good implies that Samaritans, by and large, were not.

        • Serai 1

          Unfortunately, the story of the “good Samaritan” has been sadly twisted over the centuries. The phrase itself distorts the meaning of the story, which is not about the Samaritan being good, but about the official and the priest being ugly. The Samaritan is assumed to be good; Jesus never actually calls him that. He just says this guy came along and did what these other assholes couldn’t be bothered to do. There’s nothing that points to Samaritans (who were Jews, too, by the way) as being either good or bad in the actual story. The parable really should be referred to as the parable of the Rescued Man or Kind Act, or something other than the Good Samaritan.

      • WIDTAP

        Just if you were Roman or one of those degenerate tribes, or may a Greek.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Roy Moore stupid

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Next he’ll say Jesus loved fried green tomatoes, and that eating turkey for Thanksgiving is in the Bible.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Well, according to them Jesus also wrote the US constitution and open carried a Kalashnikov everywhere he went.

    • miss_grundy

      Racist, bigot holy roller stupid?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I am going to do you and all our dear readers and the entire internet infrastructure a favor and assume that your question was purely rhetorical in nature.

      You’re welcome!

  • mancityRed6

    it’s funny ’cause tRump is still supporting Strange, and the brainfart is all over Roy.

    • Crystalclear12

      He’s kissing Republican ass so they don’t impeach him.

      • mancityRed6

        you learn something new every day. and it fits. the public fighting but private I’ll do you if you don’t fuck me

  • Crystalclear12

    Somewhere on a returning alien observation ship:
    No, you have to believe me, they had this cool black guy. They were going to elect this smart, experienced, capable woman.

    Yeah, sure we believe you.

    It happened. What went wrong?!

    First contact: denied.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Alien 1: “Told you we made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.”

      Alien 2: “OK, fine, you were right. Gimme the map. Hey — how about this ‘Canada’ place? Seems like a good location to find intelligent life.”

      Alien 1: “Yeah, and they’re even nice to aliens! Guy has like a life-size Worf in his office or something. His dad looked like Picard. And, they’re pretty chill with immigrants too.”

      Alien 2: “Wait — seriously? They put a Trekkie in charge? No way, man, you’re screwin’ with me.”

      Alien 1: “Nah, man, this is totally legit! You didn’t believe me when I said Canadians were opening up the Federation of Planets in their backyard? It’s ‘true, tho’!’ Not only that, they’ve got some pretty awesome weed. It’s even on their national flag.”

      Alien 2: “All right, that’s it. I’m majorly stoked. Let’s go!”

  • WotsAllThisThen

    “Red and yellow, black and white, but NO IRISH!” — 19th century gospel of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Duck

    • Panika MCD

      “they just call us green because you are green with envy that we can out drink all of you.” ~ John and Dannie Boy

      • NellCote71

        Amen. (Hic.)

      • Mormos

        Not sure that is true but im willing to test the theory!

        • Panika MCD

          bring your backup liver!

    • PubOption

      Whatever you do, don’t put the Irish in with the Black-and-Tans.

  • Three Finger Salute

    What’s he talking about, red and yellow fighting? All I remember is puppies in a happy, sunny field and the red and yellow coming together in perfect harmony! Plus a brown for good measure!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNN9nL2vppM

  • Serai 1

    OKAY SOME MUSIC NOW. I fucking love Stomp, so here’s a jam:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4V5s75fQ1o

    • hendenburg2
      • Three Finger Salute

        Jimmy is actually great with impressions. Especially musical ones. I wish he’d do more of that on the show, instead of the idiotic frat games where the guest pours beer down their pants or takes a shot for every wrong answer in a quiz game.

    • Ellie

      Stomp and Paul Simon? Will make my evening, which wasn’t looking too good, much brighter.

  • hendenburg2

    He’s not wrong though about getting that shit from the bible, though. Lots of parts of the New Testament were pretty racist…

    https://youtu.be/OIVB3DdRgqU

  • jesterpunk
    • hendenburg2

      I saw them back in march for the first stop on the 2017 tour, and this is the song they opened with. Followed it up with Recipe for Hate.

      • jesterpunk

        I need to see them again, last time I saw them was when Shrub was running after “The Empire Strikes First” came out.

        • hendenburg2

          That was what, ’04?

          • jesterpunk

            Yeah, its been too long since I have been to a concert. But i did get to see a lot of great shows then, Bad Religion, Rancid, Tom Morello and Anti Flag.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Wiccan, atheist and Jew —
    They all have more sense than you.

    And hey, Roy — are you running for the Senate because you’re it’s not going to bring us together? For what God brings together, let a little bigot judge with a four thousand pound sculpture of the Ten Commandments rip asunder.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Some people see him trans and gay
      But God don’t love queers anyway
      So listen to the words he’ll say…

      THE HATERS GONNA HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE…
      ‘CAUSE THEY CAN’T GET A DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE DATE…
      SHAKE IT OFF!
      SHAKE IT OFF!
      SHAKE IT OFF!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Proud Liberal

      Oh no! What is going on these days? It’s scary!

    • Anna Rompage

      The videos of the damage coming out of Mexico City are horrific…

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Of course, if you ask Roy Moore, children getting slowly crushed to death is not at all incompatible with an omnipotent, loving God.

      Nope, no contradiction.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, fuck.

    • mancityRed6

      tRump calls in 5 days? or 6?

    • Gemz

      7.1 earthquake in Mexico and Maria headed at east coast now a cat 5.

      Seems like the same situation we had with Harvey and Trump is busy trying to sell his Trump tower suites to the UN visitors.

      He should be on the news at least offering assistance to Mexico search and rescue.

      • WIDTAP

        Maria is headed up the middle of Puerto Rico. It’s been a shit show. It’s going to get worse.

        • Gemz

          From what I have read so far it is potentially worse than Irma.

    • kaydenpat

      Wow. Just awful. These few weeks have been horrible for natural disasters.

  • Anna Rompage

    Someone needs to dupe this guy into drinking too much, and shaving his eyebrows while he’s passed out….

    • mancityRed6

      I’m thinking an elaborate dead hooker joke and then wake him up.

      • mancityRed6

        oh, and taking pictures first is a must.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Video, during and after, also too.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      A little hair transplant, also too. Plant pubes all over his face.

      From an orangutan.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I think this is my favourite from JCS.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QozXX7Ndrk

    • LucindathePook

      Just watched this one and the TN one, too. This always made my very straight (in the religious and culturally buttoned-up sense) MIL cry, and atheist me, too.

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Saw a pared back production, (I guess they originally thought it would be small), in London about 13 years ago, and it was marvelous.
      Lived in England as a teenager, and had a “Jesus” weekend seeing Godspell and JCS. (He had quite a run in the early 70s!)

  • Bill D. Burger

    Another Republican compassionate con.
    (Kathy Griffith shaved her head in solidarity with her sister who had cancer and died last week.)

    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/910216290429800449

    https://twitter.com/kathygriffin/status/908819500455178241

    • jesterpunk

      He seems nice.

    • mancityRed6

      *puts away his Anarchist cookbook*
      not today, not today.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Meanwhile, I’m pulling my copy down from the shelf.

        I’m starting to think my black hat days are not really over, after all.

        • mancityRed6

          just remember the magic words:
          don’t get caught.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Well, that’s the problem. I got caught.

            {{{Puts book back on the shelf…lights cigar.}}}

    • miss_grundy

      Another asshat who fails to look in the mirror. What did the sexist, misogynistic Pillsbury Doughboy say?

    • stumpknocker

      oh, i’m getting a royal fucking right now, i need a list of disaster recovery contractors to apply for a marine debris removal job in florida, fema only gives out those list to the multinational companies, john q citizen is not allowed to see the list.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        This is the New America. Land of the derps. Home of the Royally Fucked.

    • WIDTAP

      Looks like Kathy would like to get out of that neighborhood a little faster. Don’t blame her:
      http://variety.com/2017/dirt/real-estalker/kathy-griffin-hollywood-hills-mansion-wings-1202563822/

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Not where she lives now. The house in Variety has been vacant for some time. She has nice Italian villa style home in a very private gated enclave in the Brentwood area hills. It’s the kind of neighborhood that has an HOA with rules on everything so it’s hard to believe they weren’t breaking about ten of them having a bunch of loud screaming kids in the pool at 9:00pm.

    • mancityRed6

      veiled threats on tape? that will go nicely in court.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Shitty CEO of a company that builds shitty houses. Seen on a 2nd story window at the entrance to a KB housing tract: “TheyLied To Us!”

    • kaydenpat

      ((Kathy)) I can’t imagine losing my sister like that.

    • jackie jones

      Wow, what an ugly pig. Hilariously, his apology said, “He apologizes for the language he used, as it does not reflect who he is or what he believes.”
      Right. Tossing out cunt and dyke pretty fast there, fatso.

    • janecita

      What a horrible old man! All the terrible things that I wish on him, would violate every single Rule for Radicals!

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Is he drunk?
      What’s his excuse?
      I know CEOs are often psychopaths or sociopaths, or whatever, but I’m kinda hoping his business suffers for this (especially for the Donald call-out).

  • Bozilingus

    They’ve been shooting reds and yellows all day…
    https://youtu.be/RLZOXm3zY1w?t=1577

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      Up-voted for the reference to The Firesign Theater.

    • jackie jones

      Firesign!

      • Rags

        Far out, Catherwood!

  • Bill D. Burger

    Miss Lindsey done’ floated down the river of Denial.

    https://twitter.com/MEPFuller/status/910211290622316545

    • bubbuhh

      Graham drinks a bit.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        One too many mint juleps if you ask me…

    • cmd resistor

      Whatever respect I ever had for that guy is GONE.

      • mancityRed6

        that’s where you went wrong, that you had any.

    • kaydenpat

      Perhaps Manchin and Heitkamp.

  • Joe Beese

    Cillizza bringing his special brand of Analysis.

    President Donald Trump’s 41-minute speech to the United National General Assembly Tuesday was a muscular defense of the centrality of American sovereignty, a warning shot to rogue nations around the world and a reminder that the US would no longer make deals not in its own self interest.

    It was, in a word, Trumpian.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/19/politics/trump-speech-unga/index.html

    • biologydave

      If by Trumpian you mean a colossal clusterfuck of the highest caliber, then, yes, it was very Trumpian.

    • mancityRed6

      it was name calling and threats of a war crime.
      remember when we gasped when W called them a member of the axis of evil?
      good times, good times.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Well, Trump’s minuscule peen ain’t gonna slob itself.

      That’s strictly a Bannon thing.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      New newspeak: “Muscular defense” = “Flaccid horseshit”

    • ltmcdies

      oh go fuck yourself, Cillizza…

    • kaydenpat

      Is that analysis or just words stringed together?

    • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

      Say, do you know what else could be called Trumpian? I’ll start: “Grabbing them by the pussy,” comes to mind.

      • miss_grundy

        Cheating contractors out of their money. That’s Trumpian.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Trumpa-Loompa Derpity Doo.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • kaydenpat

      But her emails! And Benghazi!

    • Bozilingus

      Nobody wants an ass in nation.

    • biologydave

      Not even a peep about Burma….the list goes on

    • miss_grundy

      I am so happy that Hillz is on her book tour. Tonight she will be on Colbert’s show. I hope Stephen asks her about Tangerini’s appearance at the U.N. so she can unleash some truth on the airwaves.

  • Hardly Ideal
    • Cuz life’s a piece of shit, when you look at it

      • Grokenstein

        You’ll see it’s all a show, keep ’em laughing as you go
        Just remember that the last laugh is on you

    • miss_grundy

      The Judge is quoting Ray Stevens. He can’t even quote a Bible verse correctly.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      This guy Moore must be a hoot when it comes to citing case law to explain his judging stuff.

      “Teach the controversy. This is Kitzmiller v. Dover 2005.”

      Sure, Jan.

    • Major_Major_Major

      My granddad’s version was “red and yellow, black and blue; Jesus loves me more than you”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    JCS was hugely popular when I was in grade school, so of course we had to make up our own lyrics.

    Jesus Christ, Superstar
    Rolling down the hill on a Yamaha
    I was there
    But I don’t care
    I’ve got on bionic underwear

    Ah, the memories.

  • SomeBigRedDog

    He forgot the greys and the reptilians.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I thought he was talking Footbawl, the real religion of Alabama.

    Crimson Tide vs Michigan?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • kaydenpat

    You’ve got to be kidding me. Moore doesn’t know that racial terms are NOT in the Bible? And yet he counts himself to be some kind of Christian Warrior.

    And he’s going to our Senate, y’all!! Yee haw!

  • Bozilingus

    Moore must have his own 900 foot Jesus.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmSMQH5j-QU

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      If he only had a brain…

  • Serai 1
  • DainBramage

    Insanity wants everyone to know that he was Executive Producer for a “movie” that won Best Picture – at the prestigious Canadian Bible Society! Wow!
    https://twitter.com/seanhannity/status/910188216409616384

    • If it didn’t win a Genie or the audience awards at TIFF, it’s not a valid award for film in Canada

      • DainBramage

        I looked at their website and couldn’t find anything about any awards. I think Sean may have just paid them to give him one.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Participation trophy. He’s not a millennial, so can’t blame us this time.

        • CripesAmighty

          Maybe it’s one from Newt’s catalog.

      • bupkus231

        It’s the “Canadian International Faith and Family Film Festival” – at Univ. of Toronto. Apparently it was scheduled this last weekend. The website for the festival ( hosted by “Film Freeway” ) AND the Facebook page for the festival are no longer active, but here’s a link to a “donations” page that has trailers from the films at the festival:

        https://actintl.givingfuel.com/ciff

    • Three Finger Salute
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      My Goad, he’s a bleeding dipshite.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “In theaters October 27!!”

      Home theaters, church basements, and the iPhone of some traveling Christian who didn’t renew his Netflix account. You know — theaters.

    • bupkus231

      I bet Hannity only did it because he wanted to get close to Kevin Sorbo….

  • jowgajen
    • janecita

      Fuck!!! All those collapsed buildings! And there is a primary school with kids trapped inside.

    • Joe Beese

      How did we get views of devastation before drones?

      • jowgajen

        More dangerously I think.

  • Mr. Blobfish
  • Maclare ☕

    You know what else is not in the Bible? “Kumbaya”!
    True facts!

    • Meccalopolis

      Or snowflake

      • CripesAmighty

        A form for your credit card info.

  • Mormos

    how to not be a dipshit lesson 42: never use color as a noun

    • wait! what?

      I sienna what you did there…

      • Lambsendbeds

        Judge Moore really blue it with that remark.

        • Marion in Savannah

          You’re about to start a hue and cry.

          • Major_Major_Major

            It has all the cyans of it.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      As a White, I…. see your point. But I think it’s okay to order “a red” if you’re getting Irish beer.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Or some really, really, REALLY cheap wine in a bad restaurant.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Joe Beese

    These tactics from Trump ‘lawyer’ Michael Cohen probably work better with New York City real estate goons than Senate Committees.

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/know-the-context

    The Senate Intelligence Committee has now asked Cohen to appear at an open hearing on Oct. 25, committee Chairman Richard Burr (R-N.C.) and top Democrat Mark Warner of Virginia said in a joint statement.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/19/michael-cohen-trump-lawyer-testify-senate-242877

    • Gemz

      They asked but the threat of subpoena looks imminent.

      He wanted to testify in private not under oath and present his case in public with his opening statement so he can dodge public scrutiny in the media and looks like the committee is not going to let him get away with that shite.

      I want all those testimonies to be public and the American people need to see these criminals for who they are.

      • Joe Beese

        Cohen’s been known to get a bit… testy when challenged.

        Should make for some colorful testifyin’.

  • stumpknocker

    i have always thought the end of days talk was a load, but now that a cheeto haired douche bag with the iq of a dog turd is taking us all down the shitter, i may have to rethink things.

  • jackie jones

    Check out Brietbart “cotton” table top discussion. One guy said he was getitng pretty damn sick of being called a racist. Then he posted this unbelievable racist diatribe. LOL!

  • jackie jones
  • witsended

    Not sure if this has been posted before, but if anyone is interested the whole of the PBS series the Vietnam War, mentioned in a post a couple of days ago is now available on the ewe tubes.
    This is the export version streamed in Vietnam and for some reason that I cannot fathom, they forgot the Americanese sub titles for the interviews of the Vietnamese participants. Watched the first three episodes and can honestly say it is that good, it could almost be a piece of British telly.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dihROvhNPzA

    • Michael Smith

      If you can get on PBS’ website, its on there with subtitles.

      And yeah I’m loving it. Its blowing me away. PBS documentaries are the closest thing American non-fiction ever comes to the kind of objectivity and insight that you get in a British series. American non-fiction is often very far from being non-fiction.

      • Bozilingus

        Enjoy PBS while we can.

      • witsended

        PBS

        • Three Finger Salute

          It’ll be available for streaming in “Sweden” soon, I’m sure.

  • Joe Beese
    • ManchuCandidate

      And that’s just Rush’s share.

      • Joe Beese

        Hey-o!

    • h4rr4r

      Japan also only has a third the population.
      But they are generally older.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And here’s the interesting thing- I don’t know if it’s still the case, but in many EU countries, you could buy medications containing low dosage opioids at a pharmacy without a Drs prescription. I know because I had a toothache in London several years ago, and was given some by a pharmacist. And yet, they don’t seem to have our problems.

      • Joe Beese

        They have less to blot out than we do.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          I also think it has to do with that whole “restricting the supply makes it more desirable” concept. And the media. When Time magazine put a picture of a Vicodin tablet on their front page and concerned trolled that it was the new party drug, thousands of kids headed for their parents medicine cabinets.

  • Panika MCD

    just got to read Dok’s take on the UN speech. is it possible that our former Weird Troller was Chris Cillizza?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Maybe Glenn Greenwald?

      • Panika MCD

        go look at the Cillizza tweets on the UN speech article. I think it was Cillizza.

      • CO

        Could be both. Greenwald is known to use sock puppets.

    • mancityRed6

      he did mention the site in a tweet, didn’t he?
      I’m sure he has more important things to do, like…well, give me a minute. I’ll think of something.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Michael Smith

    If you’ve ever read the Gospels you would have to know that line was not from them, but rather from a much more contemporary Christian song. Those references to colors would not have made sense in the Gospel.

    Besides, Jesus was black.

    • stumpknocker

      oh hell no, he had blonde hair, blue eyes and does not believe in global warming.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        I maintain he was Mongolian.

        • Paperless Tiger

          Probably so. Actually, Jesus lived before the rise of the Horde proper, probably in the XII century. He was likely Russo-Turkic stock, as were most of the Horde.

      • Michael Smith

        That’s why the authorities didn’t like him. He shows up, middle of Judea, looking like an 16th century Frenchman, and when people are like “Holy shit, where are you from?” he was like “right here, I was born here,” and they were like “this dude’s a liar and he’s dangerous.”

        • stumpknocker

          not so, we all know Jesus only speaks english. sorry to keep correcting you but i am saved and you are not.

        • TJ Barke

          “Some of them, I assume, are good people.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Yeah — he looked just like Jeffrey Hunter.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Google images for “Fashionable Goatee Jesus”. It’s hilarious. 3 years ago it was Barry Gibb.

    • Panika MCD

      I thought he was Arabic…?

      • WIDTAP

        Aramaic, but you know how all the browns look the same.

        • Panika MCD

          Aramaic was a language…?

          • WIDTAP

            Probably better phrased as Aramean, but you know me, I am such a philistine.

      • Michael Smith

        ;-)

    • John Orendorff

      Michael, look at the pictures! He was white. Saying he was black is as bad as thinking of Him as one of those big-nose, kinky-headed Jews.

  • Bozilingus
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Guns and blowin’ furry critters away, yee-haw!
    https://twitter.com/geofkoss/status/910246079018434562

    • Bill D. Burger

      One of the most destructive and idiotic practices on Earth: ‘Sport’ hunting. Destroying an animal just for ‘fun’ …not for any utilitarian purpose… and putting part of its carcass on your wall as some sort of trophy.

      Primitive, amoral and wholly depraved.

      • TJ Barke

        Primitive libel! That’s a wholly civilized practice!

        • Bill D. Burger

          There’s nothing even remotely civilized about that behavior.

          • TJ Barke

            Yeah, there really is. Hunting for sport is civilized as fuck. Primitive is hunting for sustenance.

      • foiled again

        Fuckin’ A, bubba.

    • CO

      Isn’t he the turd that threatened Murkowski?

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Yup, same dickwad.

  • Marion in Savannah
  • CO
    • Three Finger Salute
      • MarciaCAdkisson

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !si294d:
        ➽➽
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      • AshleeSCuster

        Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
        On tuesday I got a brand new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !si296:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleDailyConsumerPureJournalsJobsReport1/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sg406l..,.

    • Blackest Noobs

      if only, if only

  • Panika MCD

    did Jesus have a dial-up modem? otherwise, I can’t think of why he’d be aware of all other ethnicities.

    • mancityRed6

      if you believe it, he was also god and knew everything.
      which is why he killed everyone in the world with a flood, except for a handful of middle eastern people.

      • Panika MCD

        but isn’t God a trinity where the head and hands don’t know what each other are doing?

        • mancityRed6

          I never heard that last part, only the three are one part.
          which still doesn’t make any sense when it comes to jesus.

          • Panika MCD

            but jebus said on the X that he would please like his dad to not forsaken him?

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, but at the same time he claimed to be of the father and know the father. so…yeah, I dunno.
            the UK ex said they learned about jesus in school (I really don’t know if they still have religious classes now, but she did then).
            they learned that jesus was real, and he existed, just that he might not have been god.
            like the water into wine story. he didn’t change water into wine. at a Jewish wedding, those who aren’t Jews don’t get the wine, and he said, “aw, hell, why not?” (paraphrasing) and got them to serve everyone, regardless of religion.

          • Panika MCD

            do you not have any of your father’s DNA?

            we had world religions in geography in HS, but most of my understanding of Christianity has come from English Lit.

            there’s a really cool engraving that shows the dove what impregnanted Mary dive-bombing her and her being all, “oh, noooooo!” similar to depictions of Leda and the Swan.

            everyone gets wine and whine…unless they don’t want it. which means: more for me!

            [this has been another episode of Panika responding to everything you just said with the first thing that popped into her head.]

          • mancityRed6

            I read a book about things like that. (the wine thing) and it made more sense.
            the dive bombing dove did make me LOL.
            not sure about my dad’s DNA. he always said I had the mailman’s eyes.

          • mancityRed6

            he also said it in the garden when he cried blood tears (which are a thing, a disease and supposedly in times of great stress) and asked that the cup be taken away.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Bill D. Burger

      But Mike Fuckabee would annihilate them with Christ’s love in his heart. It’s what Republican Jesus would want.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bbe4567cae839a4492167de9a13e05c68d35e08b4f0b8cf0a2d709405d3c0cb4.jpg

      • Bitter Scribe

        Just curious…in Huckabee’s theology, would the North Korean children we annihilate go to hell along with their parents?

        • Bill D. Burger

          Since they’re not baptized, he’d probably agree with colonial poet and teacher Michael Wigglesworth, and assign them “…the easiest place in hell.”

          Christian love knows now bounds. Ramen’!

          (Fundies have always had to improvise about their dealings about unbaptized babbies’!)

          • Bitter Scribe

            So you get to eat ramen in the easiest place in hell? Sounds about right, if it’s the college-dorm dried type.

  • Thiazin Red

    Of course the guy who has such a huge boner for Jesus doesn’t know the difference between the bible and a children’s rhyme.

    • SayItWithWookies

      The one without pictures is so much harder to read.

  • Nounverb911

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Needs more Karmic Schadenfreude.

    https://twitter.com/RogerJStoneJr/status/910109103078469632

    • jowgajen

      Ayup. Does that make you nervous, Roger?

    • janecita

      Oh no!!! 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I wonder if Roger Stone is booking his flight to Argentina yet.

    • TJ Barke

      That’s probably because both you and Manafort are criminals.

    • ltmcdies

      Notice yer using those screaming all caps there, Roger…you worried

    • Joe Beese

      Nothing personal, and I know this is my own thing to deal with, but I truly could enjoy the rest of my life never being reminded of Roger Stone’s existence again.

    • Gemz

      Wait- Stone said he wanted to testify in public to prove he and Trump and the campaign never did nothing wrong and now he sounds nervous?

      Come on Stone and lets have that public testimony.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Then the wiretap recordings should back up his claim. What’s the problem, Stone?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      The comments are delicious.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I hope the Feds found something to send Stone to prison to die.

  • Boojum

    Root 3:16

    For God so loved the little children that he had to transfer to a different planet and cover things up.

  • btwbfdimho
    • Three Finger Salute
      • Panika MCD

        I believe he was fighting for “truth, justice AND the American way” not “truth and justice : the American way”. maybe he’ll just start selling Amway.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Betsy Wetsy has a new customer, I see.

          • Panika MCD

            nah. I’m pretty loyal to Betty Bowers.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Not you, the prospect of Superman selling Amway :)

    • Ωbjectifier

      That’s not Superman, it’s Clark Kent. You can tell by the glasses.

    • Needs more ED.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I just got my weekly mass mailing from Planned Parenthood. They say HHS has secret plans to implement Tom Price’s domestic gag rule any day now, which means no medical professional or hospital would be allowed to counsel, refer, or even mention abortion.

    • ltmcdies

      boy, nothing governmentally invasive in HC about that directive, is there.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I really don’t think they see women as human beings. Neither do a lot of medical professionals. For 30 years I had terrible – really ghastly – hormonal problems, and what did every gynecologist suggest first? A hysterectomy. Yeah, sure, rip out three major organs and leave me vulnerable to osteoporosis, why not? No big deal, they said, we do it all the time! No thank you.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Yep, back in the day, that’s what they did. On the other hand, I had terrible fibroids. I was on birth control 3 months on, 1 week off to minimize the awful periods. When that stopped working, they did a UFE which was one night in the hospital and 4 days off work.
          So science has improved, if you have access to it. The access part is why I am involved with PP here in GA.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I volunteer with PP too, for the same reasons, but now I am post-menopausal, and I have new problems. I was using a compounded HRT cream when I was working and had insurance, but now I’m retired and Medicare won’t pay for it.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Have you tried Wild Yam creams? I hear they work. I came through menopause like a champ.
            But after I had my kid, I took a supplement with wild yam and dong quai. It helped a lot with regulating my cycle when it returned.
            https://www.google.com/search?q=wild+yam+progesterone+cream&rlz=1C5CHFA_enUS721US721&oq=wild+yam+&aqs=chrome.5.69i57j0l5.6250j1j8&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

          • Angela Ruzzo

            They help some women, but not everyone. Unfortunately, every woman’s hormone balance is a bit different, which is one reason why they do not do as much medical research on women. This is why a compounded cream – made especially to address each woman’s unique needs – is so helpful. My “recipe” had to be adjusted 5 or 6 times to get it right. Why Medicare won’t acknowledge this, I cannot fathom.

        • ltmcdies

          hey I work in health care…I’ve met wonderful surgeons and then those you need to apply the “when your preferred tool is a hammer, every stickin’ thing looks like a nail”

          and worst if lady bits are involved

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I had ONE great gynecologist in the past 30 years. He was simply tremendous, very female centered. Alas, he died of cancer last year.

            When I was 13 and started having these problems, my devoutly Catholic mother took me to a Catholic gynecologist. He refused to prescribe oral contraceptives, he said it would make me promiscuous, also the Pope said it was a sin. I remember thinking “The Pope doesn’t have a uterus or ovaries, now does he, so how the hell would the Pope know anything about it?” Eventually my mother took me to a different doctor, thank god.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Is that really that bad of an operation? I remember going from doctor to doctor begging to be sterilized so that 1) not that I was going to electively have kids anyway, but rape is a reality and I didn’t want to spawn the family curse (I was worried that Romney was going to win and abortion rights would go bye-bye), and 2) to eliminate the painful wrath of Aunt Flo which left me debilitated for three weeks out of every month. I figured that since I’m not going to use the uterus anyway, who cares, why not take it out. I did end up getting the Fallopians removed, but still have the damn chassis. Useless as an appendix as far as I’m concerned. But, they wouldn’t take that one out because it’s “still healthy” and apparently there’s something to do with bone loss. Which I was willing to accept as long as I never got a period ever again. At least Aunt Flo is dead and I’ll never queef out another mental defective with my bad DNA. The ol’ yoot’ is still just taking up space in the garage though.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            It’s major surgery, and you can die from the anesthesia, and there is a 6-week recovery during which you are not supposed to go to work (that’s a lot of unpaid sick-leave), and without estrogen and progesterone there are a lot of health issues that women can face. For example, did you know there are progesterone receptors in women’s eyes? If progesterone levels are too low, a woman can get chronic dry eye (this happened to me, I had to stop wearing contact lenses). Also, loss of estrogen can cause significant bone density loss. The list of health problems is too long to put here, but unwanted facial hair and decreased libido are just two of them that are very inconvenient. They are basically inducing menopause early. Obviously, there are times when a hysterectomy is medically necessary, such as with a friend of mine who had tumors on both ovaries that were pressing on her spine.

            There are hormone replacement therapies – such as various oral contraceptives, artificial progesterone, etc. – but insurance wouldn’t pay for these when I was a young woman. Then they did pay for them, and now they are back to not paying for them again. I had a prescription for a compounded hormone cream to treat side-effects of menopause, and Medicare WILL NOT PAY FOR IT. It costs $50/mo, so I had to stop taking it. There is also a cream for treating unwanted facial hair that costs $180 (it lasts 9 months), and most insurance companies, including Medicare, won’t pay for that either, because they say it is just “cosmetic.” Women’s problems just don’t count.

    • Panika MCD

      you must be on a different email list.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It’s a snail mail mailing.

        • Panika MCD

          oh. I never signed up for those.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Neither did I, but I donated money once using a paper mailer, and now I get them all the time. I don’t mind, they make for interesting reading.

  • Panika MCD

    I know that earthquakes on a given fault line can come in clusters and it makes sense for an 8.2 to have an aftershock of 71. I am the child of 2 geologists after all.

    I also know that hurricanes have a season and we’re in the middle of it.

    but is it possible that deities not known for their pin-point accuracy when doling out wrath are trying to tell us something…or is it AWIENS?

    https://img.ifcdn.com/images/58ac6ac15f5e05fc09c74e1f76a721cef23469292d99d6aca9c1b996bc6aa0c9_1.jpg

    • OutOfOrbit

      bad fur day?

  • Nounverb911
  • OT: SEE YA AT THE NEW OCTO-PLEX!

    Looks like our replacements are gittin’ ‘er done

    http://mentalfloss.com/article/504564/scientists-discover-octlantis-bustling-octopus-city

  • Nounverb911
    • CO

      The ugliest set of boobs ever.

    • Panika MCD

      they will both be inside the wall together. someone has to keep them company who is not a blood relation.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      “Jinx!….”

  • WeaselPoo

    Btw Kris Kobach is using a private email server to conduct his voter fraud ‘investigations’ but says its okay because he does so in a “private capacity”…!!! FFS and WTF.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Republican excuse 101: “It’s OK when WE do it.!”

    • Panika MCD

      by the way, have you called your senators and told them your friend in TX says that Trey Trainor should in no way ever be on the FEC?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      LOCK HIM UP!! LOCK HIM UP!!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Buttizzemails?

    • Covfefe

      Don’t nobody need to worry about no voter fraud data because, praise Jesus, Kris Kobach’s private server is secure.

  • CO

    Looks like right wing men aren’t the only ones.
    https://twitter.com/Argus911/status/910253289974923266

    • Panika MCD

      you’d think they all knew this was a bad idea by now. there’s no more “oopsie!” left for this meme.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Just when you think that they can’t go lower, another level is excavated.

        • Panika MCD

          I just don’t get how any of them can justify sharing that thing any more. it seems like this has been going on for months and they still don’t understand it’s not a good idea to share it.

          • mackafritz

            They are stupid. I can’t think of any other reason.

          • jesterpunk

            Its liberals being run over, the second its a conservative they will pull a Ted Nugent and call for an end to violent rhetoric which will last 3 days until they go back to it while blaming liberals for all violence.

          • Panika MCD

            luckily I have practice at not being violent.

          • jesterpunk

            Their definition of violence also includes hurting their feelings.

          • Panika MCD

            I have practice at that, also too. but it demands I get to make fun of any of them that come here.

        • Red Richmond

          At this point there’s been enough excavating that the hollow earth people are now pretty much right.

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        I’d say she didn’t get the memo but there wasn’t one sent out.

      • mancityRed6

        she’ll “apologize” by saying it got sent to the wrong people

        • Panika MCD

          who are the right people?

          • mancityRed6

            anyone who agrees with it?
            we went through this in late ’08 early ’09

        • theCryptofishist

          “,,, if they were offended.”

          • mancityRed6

            exactly.

    • h4rr4r

      I think she selected whore mode on the makeup shotgun.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Rep. Lynne DiSanto (R- Cunt).

  • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly
  • Everrett Fanuelli

    “They all speak that ching-chong language.”- Judge Roy Moore, Alabama

  • Opalescent Riddles

    Didn’t Mary Magdalene also say, and I quote, “If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody, baby”? But truly her best work was when she co-wrote with God Himself, “Get Ready,” which was recorded in the gospel of 461 Ocean Boulevard, side 1, track 4.

  • Joe Beese

    The issue here isn’t whether [Trump using campaign donations to pay Russiagate lawyer bills is] legal — it (probably) is — but why it’s necessary. He’s a billionaire many times over, as he’d be the first to tell you. It’s bad enough that his non-billionaire underlings are being crushed under the financial weight of Russiagate-related attorney’s fees without help from POTUS, but President Mogul should be able to pick up his own tab. …

    In any case, Trump’s defense here will be the same as it is on Russiagate writ large, that illegality, not impropriety, is the only relevant issue. Is it illegal for him to use campaign funds to pay his bills? Was it illegal for him to nudge James Comey to go easy on Mike Flynn? No? Then what’s left to talk about? Oddly, though, when Reuters asked Trump lawyer John Dowd who’s paying the bills, Dowd didn’t reply with that spin. His reply, apparently, was “That’s none of your business.” He knows how bad this looks, legal or not. …

    Politically, the problem is straightforward. Every dollar Trump siphons off from his campaign or the RNC is a dollar that’s unavailable to help his reelection bid in 2020 or Republican candidates downballot who might need the cash next year. As one Republican strategist said to RCP, the more small-dollar donors max out now, the less they’ll be available to kick in when the party needs them later. It’s bananas for a man of Trump’s means, who’s in the fortunate position of being able to cover steep legal bills with no difficulty (isn’t he?), to stick his electoral arms with the tab. He could reimburse them later, but there’s no guarantee that he’ll do it, especially if the midterms look dicey and he doesn’t want to be stuck funneling money into what appears to be a lost cause.

    Why doesn’t he just start a proper legal defense fund? Sure, it’d look ridiculous for a man whose name is synonymous with wealth to be rattling his tin cup for help, but (a) again, his fans won’t mind, and (b) he could pitch it as a defense fund for the entire Trump team. With POTUS raising its profile, the fund might do well enough to help relieve some of the pressure from less wealthy Trump aides who are struggling to come up with the money. There’s still the little matter of donations for legal bills depleting wallets that the GOP needs open for the midterms, but that can wait. The midterms will be a wipeout no matter what if Team Trump gets taken down by Mueller.

    https://hotair.com/archives/2017/09/19/reuters-sources-trump-using-campaign-rnc-money-pay-russiagate-legal-bills/

    • Gemz

      Use his own money when he can bilk his supporters out of theirs- are you crazy?

      • Joe Beese

        It’s a right-wing site. They extend him the benefit of the doubt when it comes to “wants to rip off everyone all the time” stuff.

        • Gemz

          I hope he uses up all the RNC money and then gets impeached right in the middle of the 2018 elections.

          Serves them right!

    • jesterpunk

      https://twitter.com/fahrenthold/status/889662154953117700?lang=en

      He doesnt pay for anything himself when he can avoid it.

      • aureolaborealis

        FWIW, this is a very common characteristic of the very wealthy. He seems to be the most obviously, penny-pinchingly ridiculous about it, but rich folks — especially those who didn’t actually earn the money — tend to think they deserve everything free. “Free to those who can afford it. Infinitely expensive to those who cannot.”

      • SeeTrain65

        “Why use my money when I can steal yours?”

    • data_ninja

      I’m wondering if this is just advertising to future lawyers to assure them that they will get paid, given Trumps unpaid bills history with people. If they know there’s a cash flow of money (and a lot of it), they’ll stand by his side.

    • bbayliss

      They seem to think that their coffers being depleted by the man they supported is a bad thing.
      I think it’s justice.

    • mancityRed6

      it’s funny that a right wing site would choose the name “hot air”

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        They started to infiltrate my email – but one glance and I swept them away…

    • Boojum

      It is extremely relevant to illegality if the money is being donated by, oh, say, Russia.

  • Ωbjectifier

    This lil diddy seems appropriate here.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09FDdfC5R48

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Okay, Open Thread: it’s time for confession. On evenings when Mrs. Toomush is still late at work, Old Toomush will sometimes fall back on that blandest of Swedish meals, all brown and tan the way it should be, which his Swedish Gramma would occasionally make in the apartment above the tailor shop, when Toomush was a small poika. Boiled baloney and potatoes. See, you cut the potatoes into quarters, and the frozen baloney into six or seven pieces, fill a kettle and boil it all together for about 20-25 minutes. Then you get out the pepper and the ketchup and sit down, knowing that Mrs. Toomush will be glad she missed it when she gets home….

    • Bitter Scribe

      Hey, don’t jinx me. I’m going to try making meatballs tomorrow. (Not Swedish though.)

      Anyone have an opinion: Do they have to be baked, or is it enough to brown them and steep them in pasta sauce for 20 mins. or so?

      • jowgajen

        From a doneness stand point, you can cook them in the pasta sauce if they are small enough.

        From an all the flavors have melded together into sublime tasty meat nuggets standpoint, you should bake them.

        • Bitter Scribe

          Thanks. I’ll see how hot it is by dinnertime tomorrow and decide then.

      • h4rr4r

        Browning and cooking in sauce is better than baking.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Sure. Take the high road….

      • hendenburg2

        Get some mini muffin tins and bake them in that.

        Then into the sauce they go!

      • janecita

        Definitely bake them.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        I brown them.

    • h4rr4r

      Boil? No you fry them in bacon drippings.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        That’s for leftovers!….

    • bupkus231

      “…when Toomush was a small poika”

      I grew up in a Finnish-American family, and that word was about the only Finnish word I learnt ( that’s when I knew they were talking about me ). Now you tell me it’s Swedish????

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        My sister was a flicka. So they said. We started with male diminishment early in our family…

        • bupkus231

          Okay – that seems to be more Swedish. So perhaps we’ve both from Swedish Finns ( or is it Finnish Swedes??? ). Oh, it’s sooo confoozing!

      • Panika MCD

        SCANDINAVIAN LIBELZ!!!!

      • Changeling

        Late to it, but poika is Finnish for boy. Maybe Gramma was a sverigefinna?

        • bupkus231

          Actually, Mummu was Finnish-American, born in Massachusetts. Iso was a naturalized American Finn, born in Turku. They went back and forth between the US and Finland a few times, with my Mom and her younger sister born in Helsinki and staying just outside the city there through the war years. My aunt says she was sent to Sweden for some part of the war – which is noted in your link. But she returend to Finland before coming to the US in 1946 ( as a minor child of American parents, she was already a citizen ( anchor babbie???? ). My mother didn’t come over until 1948, and by that time she was over 18 – and since she had never resided in the US, she had to be “naturalized”, despite being the child of two American citizens…

          As it is, my mom’s side of the family mostly spoke “Finnglish” – mixing Finnish and English pretty indiscriminately.

          • Changeling

            That’s interesting. Immigrant stories are fascinating. I’ve read about Finglish and it sounds really funny to me. My great-grandfather and great-uncles went to work in the US/Canada some time in the 50’s. The father and one son came back when he had cancer and wanted to die at home, but one son, then 18, stayed his whole life. I probably don’t have family there, he never married and didn’t have children as far as we know… but it’s possible. We suspect he was gay, though. Further back in the family a half-sister and brother married without knowing they were related, and immigrated to America when they found out, to live where people didn’t know. I don’t know what happened to them, but sometimes I’m tempted to write my own version.
            Toomush’s Gramma might have actually said “pojke” which is Swedish and is pronounced almost the same.

    • You could make her something she likes, put on some light music, strew the joint with rose petals……

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        What? Are you trying to get me laid????…

        • Sexiest thing I ever saw in my life? My husband runnin the vacuum on account I was feelin bad and the kids made a mess
          So. Very. Sexy.

    • Panika MCD

      my Swedish Grandmother (aka Dama…because my cousin, the first grandchild, could not pronounce the “gr” sound for a while) never cooked me anything like that…come to think of it, I can’t remember her cooking anything at all…

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        I don’t believe it’s a proper Swedish skill….except for crullers and a few other delicate baked extravagances…

      • mancityRed6

        I was out of the house before my mom did anything more adventurous than boiled hot dogs, no bake cookies, or frozen fish sticks.

        • mancityRed6

          here’s the thing, mom is a twin. they grew up on a farm in the middle of nowhere. when their ‘rents would go into town, one would clean and one would cook and the chores would be rotated.
          as soon as they were gone, mom would clean and her sister would cook. which is why mom knew how to shampoo rugs (and would) with a wet/dry vacuum, and her sister made most all the wedding cakes.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Boil in bag meals. She does okay now, but a limited repertoire which is what my Dad likes. His mother couldn’t cook. My maternal grandmother was a fabulous cook and she taught me. Nana also taught me to sew. My mom and my aunt weren’t interested in anything that could be considered “manual labor”. They wanted to be “Glamorous” – their words.

          • mancityRed6

            dad cooked. mom reheated. that’s why the 10 different kinds of cookies she made that xmas was a surprise.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Dad refuses to eat “leftovers” so Mom has to “cook” something new everyday. Luckily, my dad has the palate of a 10 year old boy, so processed food and fast food is fine.
            When she comes to my house, I cook for her. I get Blue Apron delivered so it’s good and fresh. She loves it. And it makes me feel good to give her healthy, tasty food. One day, we’ll be roommates, so it will all work out.

          • mancityRed6

            the reheat came when dad worked second shift, so he’d make himself lunch and make extra for us so mom could reheat it.

          • mancityRed6

            and that is good on you.

      • HellhathnofuryDemme

        Mr. Demme’s grandma was called “Gag,” (pronounced “Gawg,” but I did not pronounce it that way), for the same reason.

        • Panika MCD

          when I was taking care of Dama, it was helpful when I was frustrated to pull out the “DAMN” in “Dama”.

    • aureolaborealis

      I have a feeling that Mrs. Toomush doesn’t actually manage to avoid the worst part of that meal.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Oh, yeah. The Dutch Oven.

    • SeeTrain65
  • Three Finger Salute
    • Boojum

      Or, there is my favorite Bible verse: 1 Adam 12.

      • SeeTrain65

        One Adam 12, One Adam 12, See the man, making a total ass of himself …”

  • I remember being a kid and doing that song in sunday school.
    You did the main refrain, and then you did a version of yes jesus loves me in the stereotypical music style of the “color” you were doing.
    Example:
    Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world
    Red and yellow black and white, they are precious in his sight
    Jesus loves the little children of the world.

    Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world.
    Red……
    *couple kids with feather head bands start doing a “war dance” while the rest of us chant “Yes, Jesus love me, how! Yes, Jesus love me, How! Yes, Jesus loves me, how! Cause Bible tell me so”*

    Yellow was even moar racist, black was even MOAR than that, and the white was a hodown.

    • h4rr4r

      Was your Sunday school right before a klan rally?

      • Believe it or not, this was what they thought of as “inclusive” at the time.
        And also, “Cute”

        • Panika MCD

          you should see Prima Momma try to complement people of other ethnicities. it’s cringe worthy.

          • h4rr4r

            My grandmother once related a tale of going to the movies with my cousins and some of their friends the exact quote that horrified me was “they were black, but don’t worry they were nice”.

          • Panika MCD

            my mom will say the following things to black people:
            I love black people! they’re always so happy!
            it must be nice to have extra collagen in your face. makes you age better.

          • h4rr4r

            Have there been any interesting replies?

            I would be stuck staring like a deer in headlights if this happened in front of me.

          • Panika MCD

            no. I have told them they don’t have to be nice to her about it because a) they’re human beings with a full range of emotions so reversing the “angry black person” stereotype doesn’t help and b) great, they genetically age better, doesn’t really make up for the whole racism bit.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Being a Southern, I’d say “bless your heart” with a big grin on my face. Works every time.

          • Heh sounds like my grandmother.
            When she aged out, her kids basically told her, home aid or nursing home. She needed waking surveillance. She agreed to home aid but kept firing them because she was sure if they had not stolen from her yet, they sure planned to!
            Until she got to the white girl. Who actually did steal from her.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            A lot of folks working in nursing homes are immigrants. Low training, regular pay….

          • She eventually went, for the last two weeks of her life. Every aide there was from Jamacia (there was an exchange program with the Mercy Health System).
            She was really, really, not very happy. Even though they were super in every possible way, to her and us.
            I told one a lady she didn’t have to take that kind of talk and a lady just smiled at me and said, she will go home to Jesus, soon. It really does not matter.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Grampa Toomush is in a nursing home as we speak. The old racist’s best friend there is a Jamaican orderly named John, who smiles all the time and gives him shit….

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            My grandmother too. She still preferred being called “colored” because icky, poor dark skinned Negroes. An adherent of the “paper bag test”. And neither of the husbands or kids would have passed it.

          • Panika MCD

            that sucks.

          • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

            Nah, I was the first grandchild and she always forgave me everything. Before she descended into dementia, I gave her the only greatgrand she got to know. And my baby is a ham and amused her to no end.
            It all worked out because my MIL was a doll and an expert at Shade. The color struck divas on both sides learnt something from Pat.
            True story – my MIL lived in Alabama and came to an Easter brunch at my house with a really neat pitcher. She made this really tasty punch with peach nectar and pineapple juice. To keep it cold, the pitcher has a glass insert that you put the ice in. One of my bitchiest aunts proclaimed, “Where did you ever find that?” and MIL said deadpan “Alabama”. We never heard about “Bamas” (dark country people) again.

        • h4rr4r

          I am not yet an old, but I am not a young either, what decade was this?

          • 70’s, or almost an old XD Philly and Catholic also. They were trying to understand Vatican II and sort of missing so many things.
            Like, you know, basically understanding that other cultures are not yours to sterotype and put into “cute” kid songs

    • Boojum

      Jesus rove me, less I know?

    • theCryptofishist

      Ah the advantage of growing up secular humanist. YOu still have to purge your brain of dumb Hanna Barbara shit from Saturday morning cartoons, but the Sunday shit never took hold.

      • I got kicked out of Sunday school by age 6.
        Well…my father was told they would be pretty ok with it if I did not return anyway. Apparently my questions were depressing my teacher.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Wow. Makes me glad that I was raised Episcopalian, which the RWNJs tell me makes me a heathen. And I’m going to hell anyway. Rather than having that memory.
      Bless you.

      • My nana was Episcopalian! I always thought they were super cool and chill.
        Actually, my dad spent his bachelor night converting just to marry my mom. I kinda wish the reverse happened.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          My mom converted to Episcopalian.
          True Story ~ My dad’s parents were super involved with their parish. My GF was a member of the vestry and helped with the finances, getting the initial church built. This being Atlanta, in the same geographic area there was a “white” church (Incarnation) and the “black” church (St. Paul’s). By the 1980’s, there were just two churches. St. Paul’s has prospered, buying up land surrounding it. Helping with the community and the local public school. Incarnation survives by leasing out church space to a preschool. It’s amazing how things can change.

  • Boojum

    Since Roy Moore believes that people in federal elected office are ineffectual, there really is only one thing to do. He needs to stop fucking around with this “Senator” shit and hit the big time: Roy Moore needs to run for God.

    • Panika MCD

      missed the filing deadline.

    • SeeTrain65

      Doesn’t have any of the qualifications.

  • mancityRed6
  • ltmcdies

    you know, God…you can Rapture these assholes any time now…they will not be missed by except family…who you are welcome to Rapture right along with them

    • hendenburg2

      Please don’t rapture these assholes. You don’t want literally every 18 wheeler in the country barreling down the freeway without a driver.

      • Trucker LIBULZ!!!!!

        • theCryptofishist

          Indeed. I know a trucker, and he’s from West Virginia, and I think he uses the “hillbilly” identity from time to time. But he’s not one of those horrible people.

      • bubbuhh

        Lotz of them truckz bein driven by Messikans.

      • Doug Langley

        And we’ll tell the difference how?

      • georgiaburning

        Well, not for long

    • jesterpunk

      The funny thing is if the rapture ever happens this assholes wont be raptured.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I have no compunction toward looting the houses of the raptured.

  • btwbfdimho
    • stumpknocker

      the shame is on us, she was soooooooooo exploited.

    • Panika MCD

      true story:

      was in NYC for grad school and was at a poetry event about a week after Molly Ivins died. turns out she and ANS died in close proximity to each other. also too remember that we had lost Ann Richards the previous November. so a friend asks me how I’m doing. I tell them it’s been a little rough. and they mention “oh, yeah. you’re from TX.” and I start talking about Molly without naming her. they say something about ANS without naming her and I’m all, “who the fuck are you talking about?” they say ANS and ask who I’m talking about. I say Molly IVINS. they are familiar with ANS, but not Molly. I said ANS was tragic for the family, but is not tragic for me and they need to read some Molly Ivins before I see them the following week.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I’m partial to the pre-Gospel section, where it was said “any dream will do.”

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    Whoever thought up those “Giant Meteor 2016: Just End It Already” signs wasn’t kidding.

  • RobKanC

    George F Root, republican Jesus. Same thing. Both are racist mean spirited assholes.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • bubbuhh

      Notice how teh Golden Arches look jes like a giant asshat?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      ISWYDT

  • bubbuhh

    Let’s hear it for the real south, Trailer parkz n the unSookiez every one.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e88a2e3b5d9a263378848f1352d27aa493b8cc4fcddc8fd9503c672ffe195c0d.jpg

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      DAYum! I think I need to get me some Lysol to kill the smell and go a’courtin’!

      • bubbuhh

        No bad smellz long as Angel(thatz her name) gets her brainzchow on time.

  • jesterpunk

    The Pepe creator is suing the alt-right to get them to stop using the frog

    https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/09/pepe-the-frog-creator-lawyers-up-tells-alt-right-blogs-to-cease-and-desist/

    Matt Furie created the cartoon character Pepe the Frog in 2005 as a kind of peaceful stoner animal for his comic “Boys Club.” By 2008, the frog had become a meme at 4chan. In the 2016 election cycle, though, Pepe became something completely different—an ever-meme of the alt-right. The Anti-Defamation League characterizes Pepe as a hate symbol and has catalogued some of the most viciously racist and anti-semitic examples.

    Now Furie wants his comic frog back. After years of letting it slide, Furie has lawyered up and sent demand letters to several alt-right personalities, including white supremacist Richard Spencer, Mike Cernovich, and the subreddit “The_Donald.”

    Last month, Furie took legal action against a man in Texas who created an Islamophobic version of Pepe for a children’s book. That matter reached a settlement. Now, Furie’s lawyers have spoken to Vice about his determination to reclaim ownership of the image and the demand letters they have sent out.

    “[Furie] was very serious when he said that we wanted to make clear that Pepe was not the property of the alt-right and couldn’t be used by the alt-right,” Furie lawyer Louis Tompros told Vice. “We’ve asked them to take [the images] down. That hasn’t happened yet, but they’re very much on notice. We plan to take action if they don’t.”

    The letters demand that the alt-right commentators remove images and videos including Pepe, including one recently created by Cernovich in which he added Pepe into a video of Hillary Clinton reading a passage from her new book.

    “Mr. Furie is entitled to damages for your infringement,” the letter states. “After we have received confirmation that you have ceased infringement, we will contact you to discuss what additional information we need from you to calculate the appropriate amount of damages.”

    Cernovich has taken down the images, but he has also published a blistering response by his lawyer, Marc Randazza, which boasts that Furie “won’t see a dime from Mr. Cernovich.” The letter says that Furie’s letter “wasn’t a serious legal threat” and that the image of Pepe qualifies as fair use, because it’s “political commentary and satire.”

    “Should you choose to file suit against Mr. Cernovich, we will be delighted to embarrass the fuck out of you—and set up a malpractice claim by your client against you,” writes Randazza.

    • jesterpunk

      Oh and would anyone be surprised that the deplorable on reddit are posting more Pepe memes because the creator threatened to sue them? The site isnt taking them down either, so I hope reddit gets sued too for allowing them to do whatever they want.

    • What is it with right wing lawyers thinking “We will do fucking X to you!!!!” is legit legal counsel?

      • jesterpunk

        They hire the best people?

    • data_ninja

      *sigh* In an alternate universe where Bill Watterson wasn’t a recluse, he sues the pants off of all of the jackasses and their various ‘Calvin peeing on things’ stickers and logos.

    • Panika MCD

      didn’t he kill Pepe to try to get them to stop earlier this year?

      • jesterpunk

        Yes and that didn’t work so now he is suing. And they are ignoring his lawsuits and DCMA requests.

        • Panika MCD

          it’s only fair. Pepe is dead. they should honor his last wish: not to be associated with the alt-right. it killed him.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
    • hendenburg2

      Eh, it’s Colorado Springs. Let it continue.

  • bubbuhh

    So far as we know Jesus never wrote anything down. So, mebbe, George is the root uv all Jesus.

    On tother hand, the bible, bein a very sophisticated magic 8-ball, tells me:

    Matthew 19:14(KJV)

    14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

    Kingdom uv heaven goin be filled wif a lot of other losers jes like the little childrenz but not ole Righteous Ray or Trumpz (cept, mebbe, Trump babiez n other little childrenz).

  • stumpknocker

    trump won, Hillary lost, Jesus wept.

  • Jenny

    Oh I sang that song many times! Pretty much THE song of vacation bible camp!

  • Years ago I played in the pit orchestra for a huge Baptist church’s Christmas Show.

    One of the big production numbers was based on Judge Moore’s favorite gospel and featured hoards of little white Baptist kids in red face, yellow face, and black face. Each group did a ‘traditional’ song and dance to match the color of their grease painted adorable mugs.

    The best was the ‘black’ kids, who were dressed like natives in a Tarzan movie complete with bones in their afro wigs. They danced and chanted around a big cauldron with a white explorer in it.

    The ‘white’ kids did a rap.

    SURPRISE! This was in Montgomery, AL.

    • janecita

      I’m sorry, but that’s hilarious, terrible, and racist as fuck, but hilarious! Didn’t you guys know any people of color?

      • Jenny

        Eh now that I think about it, sister and I were the only brownish kids at church.

        This song was supposed to make us feel better, I think?

      • I was just a hired hand playing in the band, officer!

        Most of us had no association with that church and were shocked/amused at how horrific it was. It didn’t appear to me it ever crossed anyone’s mind in the church how offensive what they were doing was.

        I saw and heard some pretty shocking things when I lived in Montgomery, which is pretty much why despite having a terrific job there I ran screaming away all the way down to The Keys after a few years.

  • janecita

    72 dead so far in Mexico. I wonder how long it will be before the Orange wonder calls Peña Nieto?

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      I think he already tweeted, so, he probably thinks that’s as caring and concerned he needs to pretend to be
      https://twitter.com/thehill/status/910239163060047872

      • janecita

        It’s always the bare minimum with this asshole!

      • theCryptofishist

        Under a votey thing is not permitted to ask for.

      • HellhathnofuryDemme

        *eyeroll*

    • mancityRed6

      next week, when Tillerson actually picks up the fucking phone?

    • Bozilingus

      “Hey, sorry about all the dead Messicans. By the way, when can I expect to receive your check for my Wall?”

  • jowgajen

    So, one of the things that pissed me off about this past election is that the orange motherfucker primarily chose Mexicans to be shitty towards. These are the Mexican people I know:
    https://twitter.com/CStoreNews_/status/910240753435193344
    They are a brave, resourceful, compassionate people and we are blessed to have them either as immigrants or neighbors.

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • janecita

      One of my best friends is Mexican, he came here illegally when he was young. He worked, went to college,and was such a good student/great dude that one of his college professors sponsored him for legalization. Fast forward many years, my awesome friend is a college professor himself:-)

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Sure, now they’re takin’ all the good jerbs!….

    • theCryptofishist

      A Paradise Built in Hell” is a very good book.

  • Moebym of the Returners

    I’ve been looking for a new firm because my current one is no longer doing it for me. I found one that looked nice on the surface, but when I saw “God” as the most important of their values, I was like, “bye, Felicia”.

    I don’t want my country run by God-botherers, and I certainly don’t want my company run by them, either.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    Then there is this asshole:

    College President Hosts Black Students With Cotton Centerpieces, Collard Greens:

    A university president has apologized after hosting a dinner for African-American students that included cotton stalks as table centerpieces.

    Randy Lowry, the president of Lipscomb University in Nashville, Tennessee, invited the students to his home for dinner on Thursday to discuss their experiences at the school.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/randy-lowry-lipscomb-cotton-centerpiece_us_59c1426fe4b0f22c4a8cd9bd

    • Three Finger Salute
    • biologydave

      “It was okay until tonight…dick”

    • YoBunnyBunny

      “Well, all my pals at the country club that it was a clever idea…”

    • bubbuhh

      Did he tell hiz guests it wuz okay if they removed their shoes n picked their feet long as they did it after dinner?

    • Moebym of the Returners

      I’m not really surprised. I hope it’s a genuine stupid oversight, but experience has taught me that it may not have been so innocent.

      Tangent: Back when I lived in Tennessee, I was acquainted with a few people who went to Lipscomb U. It’s a private Christian college, and their family were pretty devout Christians.

      • That is why it makes me think “Deliberate to see who the trouble makers might be”

    • georgiaburning

      Hey, Christians are into crosses

    • Yeah sure. He is very sorry. That was not intentional at all.

    • foiled again

      Pardon us for being shitfucks.

  • MarkInCA

    Most evangelicals have never read the bible, and instead have just memorized a few cherrypicked quotes.

    Next time you are in a religious argument with an evangelical, ask them to show you where the trinity is mentioned in the bible (hint: it isn’t) or abortions (hint: It’s in the book of Numbers and it’s not a prohibition, it’s an instruction manual)

    • mancityRed6

      isn’t it enough they have to go every damn Sunday?

      • georgiaburning

        Could somebody lock the doors once they’re inside?

    • stumpknocker

      you know the pilgrams who fled here to escape religious persecution? they believed in the Geneva bible, the king james worshiping assholes ran them out of europe.

    • OrG

      They don’t need to READ it.
      They FEEL it.

      • MarkInCA

        Kind of like truthiness… :)

  • hendenburg2

    Hey guys, so, I know I’ve been putting off posting about it, but I broke my collarbone the weekend before last.

    I was biking down a residential street with a bike lane in the morning, when an aggressive driver starts nudging into the bike lane. Enough so that got I sent into the curb and go flying. By the time I am able to look up, the car is long gone.
    So please people, watch where you are going and give everyone on a bike some extra space. If you have to, drive slower. The odds are, you aren’t to miss that green light either way.

    Also: Nope, I didn’t get a license plate, yes, I was wearing a helmet but no, I didn’t hit my head and nope, I don’t need pins, screws, or a plate.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      A lot of right wingers don’t like bike helmets…

    • handyhippie65

      take it easy for the next month and a half. you definitely want that bone to heal straight. i’ve broken a few, and when they heal wrong, you’ll pay for it for a long time.

    • theCryptofishist

      I’m going to donate some screws anyway. I have a full laying around here…

      (Get better fast.)

    • foiled again

      As Sammy Davis, Jr. once said, “Ouch, man”.
      Motorcycle accidents were my strong suit. Ever used Spenco Second Skin? Do not know if it is still made, but for reasonably bad road rash it worked very well.

      • hendenburg2

        I would hope that I wouldn’t need racing leathers to pedal half a mile for a bagel, but I’m not so sure anymore

        • foiled again

          All bets are off in these times.

    • I am so sorry :snugs:
      When driving I assure you, I give wide berth to bikers, even if that means I have to slow down and wait a few.

  • And the noose on the Trump conspiracy tightens, as Jesus said, “Day by day by day by day by day.”

  • Doug Langley

    Okay. Finally got the phone call interview. We chatted for 45 minutes (only get an hour for lunch, had to rush to cram down the food). General tech stuff. Got home, have email from recruiter, said I did well. Presumably this means they will submit me to client. We’ll see how it plays.

    Current job: situation with boss descended into new madness. Will get in touch with staffing agency and see what the hell we can do so I don’t lose what’s left of my marbles.

    • data_ninja

      Good luck!

      • Doug Langley

        Thanks.

    • jesterpunk

      Good luck Doug, hope the staffing agency can help until you hear back from the recruiter.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Sounds positive … good.

    • LucindathePook

      Thinking hopeful thoughts for you and all Wonkers in similar situation.

    • theCryptofishist

      I read that as “stabbing agency.” I think you’re finding out why they don’t let me out without a minder.

      • Doug Langley

        You’re not entirely wrong.

    • Very positive, yay! And an hour for lunch? I may be jelly.
      We get a half hour and can’t leave our desks XD

      • theCryptofishist

        That shouldn’t be legal.

        • Not sure that it is to be honest, but…whatcha gonna do? Bills need to be paid and I make a decent wage and take it out in smoke breaks whenever I feels like it instead.

          • theCryptofishist

            Not blaming you. It’s just grotesque, in my view. I don’t always leave the office for lunch, cheaper to bring your own, but being someplace else, even for 10 minutes, is your fucking prerogative.

      • Doug Langley

        You have desks? I don’t even get a chair.

  • mancityRed6

    did everyone else know that fucker…sorry, Tucker Carlson was the heir to the Swanson frozen foods?
    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/09/elite-frozen-food-fortune-heir-blasts

    • Doug Langley

      Strange – my eye twitch suddenly got worse.

    • CripesAmighty

      Thought everybody knew about the Rubber Chicken Heiress.

      • mancityRed6

        dammit, all those Soros emails go to the junk folder and I miss a few meetings and this happens.

    • theCryptofishist

      So, does Clarence Birdseye have any scary rightwing descendants?

    • janecita

      Yup, I knew that.

    • Claire

      And he’s still selling reheated shit for a living.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Hava great night. Disqus sucks….and I gotta go.

    Resist! ___you wonderful Wonketterians.

  • Bozilingus
    • foiled again

      Very good, but Dear Friends floats my boat, particularly ‘Dr. Whiplash’.

      • Bozilingus

        Love their early stuff (wish I could have heard their broadcasts live), but this album and The Giant Rat of Sumatra are my favs.

  • CO
    • OrG

      Of course he is.

    • Jgb979

      I’m pretty sure “holocaust denier” is the politest society that will have Sherrif Joe. Somewhat above “sentient fecal matter”. Somewhat below “mainstream republican”

    • Bill D. Burger

      I’m sure he’ll be takin’ a dirt nap and feeding worms before long.
      And adios!
      RIP: Rot In Putrefaction

    • biologydave

      Because of course he is

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Canis Greyhame

      He ran a god damn concentration camp! How is he suddenly denying those things ever existed?

    • Wait, let me get this straight. Racist asshole is hanging with other racist assholes?
      I AM SO SHOCKED

  • OrG

    Wow, someone worse than keebler elf.
    Thanks, Alabama.

  • Jgb979

    Future senator Roy Moore
    #lincolinshouldhaveletthemleave

  • handyhippie65

    what a doofus. i sang that song in sunday school as a kid.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Racism hadn’t been invented yet, way back in Jesus’ time.

    Well, there was proto-racism with all that gentile vs Jew stuff, and Greeks thought they were all that a few centuries earlier.

    But not Western Racism as us and Hitler knew it.

    • I remember reading this thing, forget perzactly but it was written during one of the Ptolemie’s times, about the very very dark Ethiopians and how they were obviously meant to be subjugated and ruled because they were too primitive and violent to be left to their own devices.
      Greeks had STRONG ideas on we’re number 1 and spread it around XD

      • MarkInCA

        The Greeks believed anyone not Greek (or not from their particular city-state) was obviously meant to be subjugated. Strangely enough, the Persians (remember the baddies from 300) had a much more open society.

    • Paperless Tiger

      I agree. That was before the rise of nations, which was actually quite late in the Middle Ages. There was only the empire, which was divided into femas, which later became nations, but they all paid taxes to the Emperor right up to the Reformation. There were slaves, but that word may actually derive from Slaves which is to say, Slavs.

    • h4rr4r

      Do you know why we have the word barbarian?

      Racism has been around since cavemen walked the earth.

      • I think the intent is that it was more of a nationalistic thing that a simple genetic difference thing. It is true that earlier cultures were more freely fine with screwing any woman they could find regardless of what her skin tone might be.

        • h4rr4r

          Tribalism has been a thing forever, whatever words you want to use for it.

          I am not sure skin tone has ever prevented any screwing.

          • That is what I mean. Tribalism is one thing, but when we say racism in today’s context, it is even more vile than in far back history. Before it was more “You are not from my civ, and my civ needs your civ’s resources, so therefore you suck and I will subjugate you now” with varying degrees of subjugation from attempted total eradication (goodbye, Eriez!) to tribute set ups (hullo, Roman Empire!). It was not based on ethnicity so much as resource control.

            Now it is more “You may even be from my civ but because your ancestors were not from the civ my ancestors were from, I not only will kill you dead, for no benefit to me at all, but everyone remotely connected to you dead as well. I get nothing out of it save the knowledge that you no longer exist but fuck if I care.”
            In this later one, as we saw with Hitler, and see today with our own “White purity” rangers, skin tone and skrewing have very much a lot to do with it anymore.

            I-Think- that is the difference amused was talking about.

          • h4rr4r

            I think you are seeing a difference that does not exist. We have practiced genocide since we had stone tools.

            Maybe just agree to disagree.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Us and them originally meant fuck the Neanderthals – true fact….

        • Neanderthals very likely interbred with modern sapiens and became us over a time.
          Hence the lack of chin in the master race.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Suffer the Samaritans, fer chrissake…

  • Swampgas_Man

    Found out today that “part-time” is sometimes a lot less than you’d think. Was told I’d be working at least three days a week, turns out it’s more like one. Seven hours a week, $8.50/hour. Yeah, not getting off the family teat with this job, I guess.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      On the positive side, you’ll have a lot of time to look for a better job.

    • WeaselPoo

      That’s fucking awful.

    • :hugs:

    • jowgajen

      It’s hard to fit untrained part timers into the schedule, and they take longer to train. So, it’s possible/likely that it will get better as you get into the groove of the new job. So my advice is that despite the suckage now, just go in there and do your best work, because it’s likely the hours will eventually come. Worst case you feel good about yourself even when it doesn’t work out.

  • spangled

    in less than an hour today, I sold 120 bottles of honey at 20 DOLLARS EACH because people think it will cure their allergies. it may help, but there’s no solid scientific evidence for it yet.

    makes me wonder about the HUGE business the natural supplement industry must do in this country, all off of selling like st johns wart or whatever the fuck. at least honey tastes good.

    • mancityRed6

      when I went back to Lawrence Saturday, the failing strip mall on Louisiana street (they used to have a Radio Shack), had a local honey place. the window said it had beekeeping tips.

    • Weird, I remember the doc telling me to not give my kids honey until age 2 because of allergies.

      • mancityRed6

        local honey helps, ’cause it includes the same flowers you probably live by.

        • h4rr4r

          Is a neat idea, but so far I have not heard of any double blind studies proving it.

      • Jenny

        That’s botulism!

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          ^^^This. Botulism spores can contaminate honey, so they recommend not giving it to infants.

        • Was that what it was?
          I just said ok, and never looked further XD

        • mancityRed6

          oh come on, it’s not like they’re getting any other shots from big pharma
          snark, I don’t have kids. and I really do denounce the anti vaxxers.

          • I was talkin to this woman once about how she was not sure she could trust those vaxx with her precious one, as she spread honey on the kid’s bottle’s nipple to “make him like the taste of his formula better”.
            This is where I first heard a doc say do not do that XD

          • mancityRed6

            usually, that’s whiskey…oh, wait, that’s teething, and colic, and whenever they cry.
            (aren’t you glad I’m not a parent?)

    • mancityRed6

      also, have you thought about Mead?

      • spangled

        oooh I would love that, but no liquor license :(

        • mancityRed6

          personal use.
          I know a guy with a still imported from Bulgaria (where his wife is from, it’s his mother in law’s still) who makes Rakia. it tastes like gas but it has a good kick.

        • mancityRed6

          also, liquor licenses aren’t that hard to come by. just takes money.
          and there are ways around it. get your technique down first.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Send the men in white coats to the White House, stat.

    “Whoever is planning a nuclear war or seriously thinking about using nuclear weapons must directly be taken to a mental hospital! Mad people are mentally sick and they only need a medical treatment! Every nation has the responsibility to weed their deranged politicians out from their governments!”

    ― Mehmet Murat ildan

  • Joy

    I was made to sing that song in church. Even as a kid I wondered why I was referring to people by their color…

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I got kicked out of Vacation Bible school for singing,

      “Jesus died
      This I know
      Because the Bible tells me so
      Ratted out by someone trusted
      That’s how they say
      Jesus was busted.

      Jesus got busted
      Jesus got busted
      Jesus got busted
      The Bible told me so.

      ….

      I still don’t understand what was offensive about that.

      • Jesus Christ, super star
        Ridin down the street on a yamaha(r)
        The cops were there, but he don’t care
        He gots bullet proof underwear.

      • jesterpunk

        I am pretty sure Jesus was into some S&M stuff, the bible says he knew ahead of time that would happen and came to earth to be punished and die so he could forgive everyone for sins they didnt even do that he was mad at them for.

    • mancityRed6

      the Catholic church just had hymns from 400-600 years ago.
      they didn’t want any of that “modern” stuff.

      • OrG

        No Stryper?

        • biologydave

          Please, no Stryper

        • theCryptofishist

          Not even on white vinyl?

        • mancityRed6

          no, they were too “worldly”
          the kids had Petra, and even then the older congregants considered it devil’s music…and on the down low, Neon Cross, White Cross (yeah), and my favorite, Vengeance Rising.
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WkDWZRrEpI
          I was big into them at the time, which only lasted a couple of years.
          the thing about xtian rock or metal, they tout who they’re supposed to sound like. but there’s just something off about most of it.

      • Your catholic church mebbe, mine sure sang this one, with….added flairs.

      • Werewolf

        400-600 years?! That new?!

        (Teh Joos.)

    • Panika MCD
    • harryr

      “Jesus blood never failed me yet”, sung by an unknown rough sleeper alcoholic and built into an incredibly moving piece by Gavin Bryars – . https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1lnSi7QWY8

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “flesh”, tan, burnt sienna, and mahogany?
      — 1950s Crayola

  • mancityRed6

    it probably won’t show up without having to click on the link, but it made me chuckle.
    I’ve done the first one, the second one for myself, but not the third one.
    https://i.chzbgr.com/full/8570199040/hA65CAD49/

  • Hemp Dogbane

    Everyone knows that song isn’t from the Bible. It’s One Toke Over The Line that’s from the Bible !

    • biologydave

      Sweet Jesus!! You’ve got a point

  • hendenburg2

    Okay guys, I think I got an idea of what the post-OT Trump Dump is going to be for today:

    Apparently, Trump is using RNC and election campaign funds to pay for his Russia investigation lawyers!

    • Panika MCD

      unless a court tells him not to, it’s legal.

      • h4rr4r

        If the president does it …..

        • Panika MCD

          no. we had the same thing with TX AG Paxton. courts decided he couldn’t. this has never been taken high enough to have a blanket rule.

          • h4rr4r

            I was not supporting it only making a Nixon reference.

          • Panika MCD

            seems legit.

      • hendenburg2

        That’s not entirely clear. Campaign funds can be used for legal expenses related to the campaign itself, but this is a criminal probe.

        • Panika MCD

          there’s no blanket ruling by SCOTUS. just a patchwork of rulings across jurisdictions. ergo: it’s legal or illegal based on whichever jurisdiction they try to indict him in and the previous rulings–if there are any–for that jurisdiction.

          • hendenburg2

            That only applies to private funds. Public funds is a definite no-no

          • Panika MCD

            again: depends on jurisdiction and how they’re feeling at the moment. we let Perry use campaign funds and then changed our minds when it came to Paxton in TX.

    • OrG

      Is that illegal?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        No

        • Panika MCD

          depends on the jurisdiction.

        • hendenburg2

          More accurately – depends on where the money came from. Private funds? it’s iffy
          Public funds? Definite no

    • jesterpunk

      Superpac funding can be used for just about anything. (Thank you Stephen Colbert)

      https://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2014/06/02/colbert-report-taught-viewers-more-about-super-pacs-than-cable-news

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Moebym of the Returners
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨
    • Panika MCD

      looks more like an overheated bunny.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        When my dog growls and barks in his sleep, I think he is dreaming about chasing rabbits.

        When rabbits make noises and twitch while sleeping, I wonder if they are dreaming of being chased by my dog?

        • Panika MCD

          have you ever heard a rabbit scream?

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            yes

          • Panika MCD
          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            It’s a weird wimpering sound.

          • Panika MCD

            no.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            yes. A pitiful high pitched thing.

            My dad and his buddies would take motorcycles and chase down jackrabbits in the desert until they couldn’t run anymore, and then execute them.

          • Panika MCD

            more of a cross between a wallop and a yawp.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      That bunny is dead….

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        He’s just pining for the fjords

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Sorry I haven’t been in on the fun here–I was just dealing with putting a freeze on my credit and doing other security things suggested by one of you good Wonkers via this informative article. Though the assholes ought to be paying us for the right to use our financial information, bitchmoangrumble…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/432dd301bd5c50cff50849bc46fc1ba8a3ea1ad8746b43e6782711765ef6db94.jpg

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Yeah, this is gonna be a long, painful suck. Especially for folks who aren’t as savvy or don’t have the resources to battle it out in the long run.

    • mancityRed6

      I’ll pay the money, I just need to do it.

    • Mike Steele

      Lady MS: Perhaps it’s foolish, but I’m not going to contact these bastards, nor pay them a dime. Discover Card provides monthly credit score, and REALLY keeps up with your transactions. Went to charge an ‘escape room’ experience last week, and they called me immediately to verify the transaction, since all they ever see is groceries and gas, so surely it must have been someone else having fun:)

  • jesterpunk
  • Resistance Ftr PuckStopsHere

    CBS News keeps calling him “Mr. Trump. Did they call President Obama “Mr.” Obama when he was in office, because I don’t think they did and I wonder why they are have gone back to proper usage now of all times. Also, fuck Mr. rump.

    • Panika MCD

      it’s not uncommon.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Nope, it’s actually fairly standard- there’s style guide to cover it

        • Bitter Scribe

          I used to work for a paper that routinely used titles like that. Where it really sucked was when you were talking about or quoting a woman. You were supposed to ask her whether she preferred Miss, Mrs. or Ms. With that just one question, you were intruding into her marital history and/or political beliefs.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      It sure sounds a fuck of a lot better than calling him president.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      They called him President Obama. True fact. And they still do. I watch cbsnews.com/live when stuff is happening in real time, not having cable.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So I just got home from work. Did anything happen today?

    • jesterpunk

      We might have a nuclear war soon.

      • Canis Greyhame

        Yeah just the POTUS threatening to erase the existence of another country in his first speech to the UN. Normal Tuesday shit.

      • h4rr4r

        I want to know if I am going to need my organs in 30 years or not.

        • jesterpunk

          Most likely no you wont if Turnip gets his way.

        • therealpuredog

          The liver is evil and must be destroyed.

          • Bozilingus

            Serve with sauteed onions and a wine sauce.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            What? No fava beans and a nice Chianti?

        • mancityRed6

          we might…with a little sauce, some sides

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Weeeelllllll…….*cracks open bottle of wine. chugs half a glass*

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      You don’t want to know. Why do you persist?…

    • biologydave

      Remember how things sucked yesterday? Kinda like that, but Trump spoke, so it’s even worse.

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Eh, the usual. Just with extra screaming.

      • therealpuredog

        I can never remember if it’s scream-shitting or shit-screaming, though I am leaning to the former. I suppose they both work.

    • Panika MCD

      I hate bad graphics.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Trump called Kim Jong Un “Rocket Man” in front of the UN General Assembly. Just a normal Tuesday.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        *finishes first glass of wine. pours another.* I am so not sure I can take much more of this.

        • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

          You may want to switch to the hard stuff once you find out more about today’s events… or lock the liquor cabinet and throw away the key.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          Vodka and orange for me tonight.

      • pstokk

        And threatened nuclear annihilation from the podium of the UN. As one does.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      We are just on the brink of nuclear war with North Korea. Smoke ’em if ya got ’em!

      • Roadstergal

        And I live on the west goddam coast.

    • Panika MCD

      also too: I think WT might have been Chris Cillizza.

  • jesterpunk
  • Soooo…i apparently fell asleep at my desk today. Yay HR write up on my file

    • jesterpunk

      Just tell them its compiling

      https://xkcd.com/303/

    • mancityRed6

      ok, so we break in…

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      *wince* Ouch. Well, it’s just a slap on da wrist.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      where the heck do you work?

    • mancityRed6

      and here I was feeling bad about stretching out two jobs on Monday that should have been done in a few hours, but I made them last all day while I fucked around on the internet.

      • hendenburg2

        Shit, you know that I’m doing if I post more than 3-4 times before the OT

      • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

        I fell asleep in a meeting once. Probably would have gone unnoticed except I snore.

        • mancityRed6

          we usually have big meetings in one room that gets warm, and it makes me want to fall asleep.
          I’m not alone in this, others have.

        • OutOfOrbit

          yup, and me neighbor woke me … several times

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          I fell asleep at a funeral last month. Some egotistical evangelical pastor who barely knew the dead guy took over the service and went on for about an hour. When my eyes unglazed, a little girl sitting nearby was staring, so I winked at her….she looked away, then back, smiling….

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          We used to have late night calls while doing IT production updates at Nextel and the guy on the West Coast, Rick would snore on the call. We would laugh at him.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Not even a warning first?

      • Had one about 6 months ago….and in between i’ve worked more than i almost ever have since i started there

        • mancityRed6

          coffee, tea, or red bull?

          • Usually tea and coke, the beverage, not the powder

          • mancityRed6

            I usually have at least a pot of coffee a day. and I get around 8 hours of sleep now. but I do get up at 4AM every day.

          • therealpuredog

            Pro tip: Switch to the powder.

          • I can already not afford things

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            Well, there’s your mistake.

          • OutOfOrbit

            OG not red bull

          • mancityRed6

            when I worked outside, it was the biggest red bull and a bag of sunflower seeds. that and all the heavy labor, by the end of two and a half years I was poking new holes in my belt.

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda
          • mancityRed6

            oh, lord…those things only worked in doubles. but, it was a Friday and I was planning on being up all day after working all night.

    • OutOfOrbit

      who snitched?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      So you don’t have a co-worker who would wake you up?

      • And not rat me out…no

        • OutOfOrbit

          duh fuck

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          It sounds like an awful place

          • It’s not usually, and the fact that i had more work sorted out than any 4 of my teammates despite a 3 minute nap is hilarious to me

          • OutOfOrbit

            you make them look bad

          • OutOfOrbit

            with awful peeps

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Well that sucks.

    • Paperless Tiger

      I fell asleep while painting a wainscoting one time, you know, because you have to sit down. The boss just wanted to know how long I was asleep so he could dock my time for the client.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        You were just waiting for the first coat to dry!

    • biologydave

      My write-up at HR is for saying “fuck” twice over a 2 year period. Once more and I’m gone.

      • mancityRed6

        good lord, what, do you teach children?
        I’m so glad HR never comes around.

        • biologydave

          Occupational safety guy at a university and I said it in my office.

          • mancityRed6

            I am so glad I work in a shop atmosphere.

          • biologydave

            Yeah, and it would have never happened in my lab. But, you know, life choices and stuff…

          • Are you hiring? I’m also taking over our JH&S committee this week for a year. Cuz i need more to do, but noone else has completed their provincial certification

          • biologydave

            The university is always hiring, but I have no control over that stuff.

      • therealpuredog

        Well, fuck that fucking fuckshit, is all I can say.

    • Catstro

      That sucks. You’ve been burning the midnight oil because of this job, no? Also don’t hate me but before I went back to school, I had a job with my own bathroom in my office, and I slept in there every fucking day. That was such a dysfunctional workplace, I have zero regrets. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f6ace0fa59bf9808b1ae25315a3e2fbd096f326373010dd795ca0befe67d9e95.jpg

    • mancityRed6
  • mancityRed6

    winds of 17, with gusts up to 30. welcome to Kansas.
    why don’t we have more windmills?

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      thanks Obama

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Out in the Flint Hills, there’s a lot of ’em. But if you like wind, southern WY is crazy.

      • mancityRed6

        I’ve seen them out west, and in the northeastern part of Misery. but there really should be more.
        last time I was way out west, we heard of a town that got loans for a windmill, and it was making everyone energy (it was a small town) and they were selling enough back to pay it off early.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Just before Palm Springs coming from LA there are thousands of them.

        • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

          And it’s a glorious sight along the 10.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Because HOW DO YOU HAVE POWER WHEN THE WIND STOPS? –morons who have apparently never seen a battery

      • mancityRed6

        it’s Kansas, the wind never stops the further west you go. something about coming down from the mountains or something.
        I know, yours was snark, but, literally, it never really stops, even hear in the far east of the state.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Isn’t that Oooooooklahoma where the wind comes sweepin’ down the plain? (And how much do we love that two Jews wrote that song?)

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve only driven through, the closest I’ve been to being there more than an hour or so was Picher, which is now a ghost town
            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Picher,_Oklahoma
            true story. me and two friends are driving to Austin. we’re right outside of Tulsa when I need to pee.
            like, NOW
            I pull off ’cause I see a gas station sign. it’s closed. but there’s a multi story hotel behind it.
            never mind, I go around back. and the guy who has been a camera person for several news companies is filming it when he tells me to check out the hotel.
            broken glass and it’s empty.
            I finish, zip, and we are on our way.

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        And no solar panels because they will suck up all the surrounding sunshine.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Oh Lord I forgot about that. HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO STUPID

          • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

            And she was a goddamn, fucking science teacher! IIRC, the city council rejected the plan because of zoning, getting more bids, etc. Not because of her. They caught hell for it, though.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      Koch Bros.

    • jaspersdad

      That’s a calm day in Lethbridge Alberta.

      • mancityRed6

        it’s worse the farther out west

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Just remember- red and yellow kills a fellow, red and black don’t mean jack

    • Panika MCD

      “I’ll still kill you in your sleep. I’m just not going to tell you how.”

      https://media.tenor.com/images/9002645ccb7cbb3d48e92f083d91ddfa/tenor.gif

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        especially if you’re a mouse

        • Panika MCD

          it’s a dog eat dog world, you taste like chicken.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            it’s good to be the king…

          • Panika MCD

            I believe if you are a chicken, the proper title is “QUEEN”.

          • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

            Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

          • Panika MCD

            katsup has no business around a good steak or any bbq.

          • therealpuredog

            So I got this hanger steak, butch-person said “salt and pepper and fry that fucker up,” no pounding, no marinating. Wonkette wisdom to the contrary?

          • Panika MCD

            ask Pinkham or Anna Rompage. I’m not one of the cooks.

      • mancityRed6

        sounds like one of my exes

        • Panika MCD

          or James Comey?

          • mancityRed6

            can it be Mueller? please?

          • Panika MCD

            Mueller’s not going to dinner with Tsarina Von Clownstick.

          • mancityRed6

            dinner isn’t on the menu, I’m talking metaphorically.

          • Panika MCD

            I don’t care what condiments Mueller uses when he eats dinner after this is all over. I only care that he brings about the end.

          • mancityRed6

            and that Pence and Ryan were in on it.

          • Panika MCD

            Orrin Hatch libels?

          • mancityRed6

            someone, somewhere, at some time got him high. that’s all I can figure about him.

          • mancityRed6

            oh shit…

          • mancityRed6

            could be worse, could be Roy Moore.

    • bubbuhh
      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        We’re talkin’ snakes, not spiders..

        • Panika MCD

          buhbuhh makes a valid point: the rhyme does not specify snakes. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Bites from those things hurts.

        And then the cramps begin.

    • Swampgas_Man

      But ALWAYS bet on black!

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    I know lots of people love Jorah, but it gets on my nerves how he always sounds like he’s narrating a documentary.

  • Red Bird

    They’re fighting about beans. It’s always about beans, Roger.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    The bloggers at 538 make super early 2020 dem picks for the laughs: https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/our-way-too-early-2020-democratic-primary-draft/

    An interesting and funny conversation.

    • Joe Beese

      Ooh… let’s have a Bernie fight!

      • Roadstergal

        I’m all rested up after the Book Release Threads.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Please – let’s not.

        • Joe Beese

          heh heh… It wasn’t my cockamamie idea to do a 2020 draft.

      • h4rr4r

        Way too old. He would be 80 at the inauguration.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        NO!

    • spangled

      lol this is cute, I’m glad they’re not taking it too seriously because SO MUCH will change before 2020.

      I think about pundit prognostications from ~10 years ago and it was all like…John Edwards in unbeatable! Anthony Weiner will be our first Jewish president! Who’s Barack Obama??

      • If there’s one thing that drove me nuts back in 2013, it was all the “horse racing picks” that various political pundits and blogs were doing about the 2016 race. You’d have never known there were Congressional elections happening in 2014, if you were reading them. The other thing about those many articles and posts was that almost none of their picks ended up winning, or even running.

  • Joe Beese

    I am seriously going to unfollow Yashar Ali if he keeps tweeting about Kathy fucking Griffin.

    I DON’T CARE ABOUT KATHY GRIFFIN!

    • jesterpunk

      Is she President? Is she threatening to start a nuclear war with another country? No to both, all she did was hurt the Snowflake in Chiefs feelings. Not sure why everyone cares about her again.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        She’s being used by the right as a leftist symbol of our hate. I hate that.

        Well, I like her and she’s got snark. Prolly, an acquired taste.

        • jesterpunk

          They can STFU, they are fine with Nugent telling Obama to suck on his rifle and with him going to the White House.

        • TootsStansbury

          Fuck the asshole snowflakes on the right. They can DIAV.

    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      According to Ali, “Comedian Kathy Griffin was verbally assaulted by neighbor Jeffrey Mezger, CEO of KB Homes”. Maybe there is more to the story?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Apparently, he’s calling her and her dying sister names.

    • Truthiness2U

      It’s his being “ride or die” for that hack Maggie Haberman that keeps me from following him. Maggie has done/will continue to do tons of damage with her access “journalism” and Mean Girls attitude towards Hillary.

  • Joe Beese

    RedState is having the vapors because an entire pee-wee football team took a knee during the national anthem.

    http://i.imgur.com/WvZQmw6.gif

  • janecita

    120 confirmed fatalities in Mexico.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i donut like #s like that

    • I just texted my friend who’s from Mexico to check if her family’s OK. They’re not usually in the captial, but go there sometimes

    • :/

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Puebla is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever seen, with the loveliest people.

      Just devastating.

    • TootsStansbury

      So sad. Maria last night and now this. Tramp is a fucking disaster but real people need real help in real disasters beyond counting.

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    And even in the song, “red” and “yellow” are used as DESCRIPTORS, not as nouns. Mr. Moore’s shitty shitfest is also a masterpiece of bothsiderism bullshit.

  • pgjack

    If there was a god, goddess or multitudes of either or both and he, she, it or they wanted to stop wars don’t you think he, she, it or they would have done so by now? I am so sick and tired of hearing fools invoke one supreme being or another to either save or punish us all. A really good surgical team popped open my chest and fixed up my heart. I thanked them for saving my life. Give credit where credit is due – but don’t trust important information to credit rating agencies.

    • Panika MCD

      if you’ve read any epics or sagas, they tend to pick sides and squabble amongst themselves.

      • amrak63

        An advantage of monotheism.

        • Panika MCD

          monotheism often takes on polytheistic flavors. just look at the saints and the trinity.

    • I find it weird they ignore all the bits about God being realllllly happy with the helpers who help people.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      100%!! Just read a news story where a remarkable, brave young off duty volunteer firefighter saw a house on fire and two toddlers on the lawn, figured out Mom was still in the house, ran INTO the flames and rescued her (she’d collapsed), then asked himself why she’d have gone back into the house, realized there must be a third child, ran BACK INTO THE FLAMES and rescued the baby. Mom couldn’t be more thankful–to GOD. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Thankfully, I don’t have any credit accounts. My dad asks me how I make it without credit and I tell him “cash, paypal and gift cards”. I have a debit card but I only use it at specific stores. I gave up on credit during the Great Recession. In 2011, when things were really dire for me. Also canceled cable. No regrets.

  • 🐶 BRAINTHRUST 5000 🐶
  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    When used in the evilangelical christain context, the word “faith” is extremely evil. It gives people the excuse to believe bullshit. We end up with scum like Roy Moore.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I’ve always been of the opinion that people put their faith in an invisible sky faerie because they lack faith in themselves, but that’s just me.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Let’s be fair – perhaps some of them realize what amoral monsters they are, and hope that their faith in the invisible sky faerie will keep them from robbing, raping and murdering.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Nah, they hope that their pretense at “faith” will EXCUSE them from all their robbing, raping, and murdering.

          • amrak63

            I expect Bub is right about one half of the evangelical wingnuts, and CCP is right about the other half.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            You have the wisdom of Solomon…

          • amrak63

            He don’t know me vewy well, do he? :P

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            Almost certainly more accurate.

      • amrak63

        Or maybe it’s because we really don’t WANT our consciousnesses to disintegrate forever along with our bodies, thank you very much.

        • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

          Unfortunately, no one will be able to enjoy the look of astonishment on my face if there is an afterlife

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    Unless those children are gay. In which case, Jesus says those little children should be taken out to the church courtyard and stoned to death.

    • amrak63

      Jesus never said any such thing.

      Some of his more despicable alleged followers, OTOH…

      • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

        Well, I know Jesus never said that. I’m saying that is Moore’s interpretation.

        • amrak63

          I’ll agree with that one.

  • Panika MCD
    • Gwen!

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      This also comes from a long-standing ruling-class English contempt and stereotype–the Welsh, who were relegated to mining their fucking coal, were “emotional and violent” (the same way Irish were “savages” and Scots were “wild”). If you’re a Monty Python fan, you remember the Welsh mining sketch “Bloody treaty of Utrecht!” which played off this stereotype; I also remember an interview in which they all mentioned “Well, Terry (Jones) IS Welsh,” and Terry agreed; my husband and I were mystified–what on earth does THAT mean? It apparently meant he could play more “worked up” or “angry” characters. My mom was British, grew up in the 1920s/30s, and had absorbed all the “assumptions.” I like how the Welsh AND the Scots co-opted it, the way we’ve co-opted “bitch.” The Irish just rely on their sly wit to undermine them.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        Weird, I remember Terry Jones playing more reserved, proper upper-class twits (always with the glorious exception of Mr. Creosote). I’d have said Cleese or Chapman did more of the angry, violent characters.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          But Terry was their go-to for slightly hysterical middle-aged ladies, so maybe that’s what they meant, “emotional” as opposed to “violent,” you are right. oh God, he was so funny. Mr. Creosote! Saw that movie when it first came out in a packed house of Python fans and the experience of a huge crowd of people gasping and GROANING and laughing hysterically…. unforgettable

          • Elvis Causticfellow

            Re-reading my post, I think I should have said “bourgeois,” rather than “upper-class.”

      • Panika MCD

        I’m mostly Irish.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          And I adore you for it! (also, then, you KNOW haha). The only people the English have more contempt for is Americans. !!

          • Panika MCD

            FRENCH LIBELZ!

            (we inherited our hate of them from the English. the true grudge started in 1066.)

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        And so many Scots and Welsh presidents…

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      This might be the best thing from Miracle Day

      • Panika MCD

        and it’s a good thing I’m not Welsh or I would have just broken the RULZ.

    • Left Coast Tom

      She’s not wearing leeks?

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Apparently Danny Tarkanian, the wingnut insurgent that is going to challenge Heller, is going to have to explain to his wife why he supports GCH since that would make things harder for their family.

    https://twitter.com/RalstonReports/status/910280509548257281

    • jowgajen

      But honey, if I do this, I get to be a Senator.

  • Paperless Tiger

    Red and yellow, orange and black, is the preznit smoking crack? Jesus, what the fuck is happening to the world?

  • OneYieldRegular

    I got yer gospel right here:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2doHNuXe534

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    And here I was hoping this thread was going to be about Rudy Ray Moore. And man did he ever use racial slurs!

    https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMjlmNTY0Y2MtYTZhMS00YTgzLWFmMzQtZTdmZGNjMDMzZGE3XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjUyNDk2ODc@._V1_.jpg

    • Joe Beese
      • mancityRed6

        hell yes

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Girls, this motherfucker got rhythm, don’t he?

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      What am I saying… Let’s make this thread Rudy Ray Moore!

  • One is the loneliest number. You may want two. But you only need one. One Love. One Beer. One Toke.

    One God Emperor.
    https://pics.onsizzle.com/⑤cbs-nfins-cdre-sidential-tua-unite-us-god-emperor-12490664.png

    God #2

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    PROVERBS 17:45
    45 Do not then trust he of the red neck and no sideburns, for that man is verily a fucktard.

    • Wee Mousie

      Verily, verily very …

  • Marceline

    Chris Hayes out here stumping to kill the ACA because he thinks it will bring us closer to single payer. This fucker is dead to me.

    https://twitter.com/chrislhayes/status/910209839082520576

    • h4rr4r

      Is he stupid or just stupid?

      • Marceline

        Bernie rabies is like mad cow disease. It targets the brain.

        • h4rr4r

          And clearly makes them stupid.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Why not both?

    • spangled

      this is such a dangerous way to look at healthcare my god.

      the markets depend on stability!

      yo chris, has the revolution come like susan sarandan promised?

    • Panika MCD

      lambchop?!

    • amrak63

      I notice he was shrewd enough to backpedal in the Twatter thread (misspelling deliberate).

      But yeah, fuck him sideways with votes.

    • weejee

      And a group of govs (see above) think Graham-Cassidy needs to hop-a-long right into the dustbin.

    • jesterpunk
    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Jesus fuck.

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      That is going to be Bernie’s next litmus test, mark my words. His goons are harassing Nancy Pelosi, also.

      • Joe Beese

        Gooning ain’t easy, but it’s necessary.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      He’s also arguing – while Our Revolution is picketing Nancy Pelosi and their webpage is asking for their list to tie up the phone lines calling Senators about single payer – that Bernie and all his followers are fighting for the ACA. Because it’s been ‘his experience.’

      • jesterpunk

        Can Pelosi just put some donuts outside of her office? That will make them all go away.

      • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

        Bernie is a left Northern racist. His is as intent on destroying Obama’s legacy as Donnie is.

        • Marceline

          Yep. The Berniacs are practically touching themselves at the chance to dismantle Obama’s legacy just to give a participation trophy to this lazy deadbeat backbencher.

      • Thiazin Red
      • georgiaburning

        This is like that famous Vietnam War quote, they want to destroy health care in order to save it.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I don’t think he was talking about the Bros™. He used the generic term organizers/activists. I think most of us who are passionate about keeping the ACA are also passionate about wanting SP.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          I think given how sloppy the rest of his coverage of Bernie and his movement has been he’s on the stick for explicitly making that point in this context.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            I’ve never seen him as a real Berner

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Well, he’s been pimping Bernie pretty damn hard for ratings.

    • doktorzoom

      That’s a really dumb way of putting it — he clarifies in followups that he’s not advocating it, thinks ACA repeal would be a disaster, and that this is not a good thing, but yeah, he screwed the pooch with putting it that way.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        People in replies have asked him to back up the assertion that destroying the ACA could even lead to SP being passed but he just keeps defending his support of the ACA. Because it’s not just a stupid way to put it, it’s a stupid thing to assert without more than an Underpants Gnome theory of how it would happen.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I dunno- I knew exactly what he meant. If they succeed in killing the ACA, it will only energize the left to go all-in for SP. If the ACA is gone, nobody will simply fight to get it back. The fight will be to go full SP this time.

        • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

          “It’s the opposite! Killing ACA paves way for SP.” Seems pretty clear to me, no manner how much he tries to walk it back.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            But it does, because once it’s gone the new fight will be the full monty SP, not an attempt to come up with a new ACA. He’ not saying that we shouldn’t fight to keep the ACA, because he’s said that a robust ACA is probably the best path to SP. He’ just saying that worst case scenario, if the GOP manages to kill it, we’ll have nothing left to lose- so go balls out this time. Any hesitation on the part of any Dem on the fence evaporates at that point. There is no play it safe position at that point.

            ETA it may be that I’m in the minority in understanding what he was going for, so yes, he didn’t say it all that well.

      • Wolf Tracker

        As I have explained before you will not get Universal health care at the Fed level because too many Reps and Dems get their campaign donations from big insurance and big pharma

        CA and other blue states can start universal health care at the state level if the Fed returns the money they collect for the ACA and Medicaid and once they prove it works more states will join in and we would have Universal health care just like happened in Canada.

        If you keep fighting to keep the ACA you are actually working against single payer and keeping the insurance companies and big pharma in power.

        That is what Hayes was explaining and what Bernie has supported and what many experts say needs to happen.

        ACA may work for you but is still leaves millions without coverage and premiums will continue to rise making it unaffordable in the future.

        You either want ACA or single payer and you can’t have both or migrate from one to the other.

  • Nounverb911
  • weejee

    FWIW, a bipartisan kettle of goobernors think Graham-Cassidy sucks big time.

  • Joe Beese

    Yeah, he’s a write off.

    The latest Trumpcare, known as Graham-Cassidy, risks the Senate’s credibility again. There has been none of the regular process that McCain demanded, not even a Congressional Budget Office analysis. No major medical group — not doctors, nurses, hospitals or advocates for the treatment of cancer, diabetes or birth defects — supports the bill.

    Passing it would violate every standard that McCain laid down.

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/19/opinion/mccain-healthcare-graham-cassidy.html

    • jesterpunk

      But Miss Lindsay wrote it.

      • Bitter Scribe

        I used to object to “Miss Lindsey” jokes on the grounds of homophobia. But now I don’t care. Fuck that guy. Or girl.

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          For me, “Miss Lindsey” was never about homophobia but about teasing a guy who is probs gay and won’t come out so we help him with it.

    • Jgb979

      But his best girl co-drafted it…..(jinx)

    • TootsStansbury

      Yeah? And? Oh, someone is assuming McCain has standards. How droll.

    • spangled

      if he doesn’t get to have a big stunt queen moment this time, he’s 100% going to vote for it – “regular order” be damned

      • Joe Beese

        Then Lindsey will sing him “Thank You For Being A Friend”.

    • TJ Barke

      Well the Kochs are cracking the whip, they want their desperate poors.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So I saw the news, and immediately decided that I need nice times animal videos. And nice time people videos.

    https://youtu.be/ppdt1FJw1l0

    • Panika MCD

      except for the part where they call the bats “babbies”, this is cute also too. I don’t know why they thought that was babby bats. Mexican Free-Tails aren’t big.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5ZKGRXoXks

  • Bitter Scribe

    Earthquake kills more than 100 in and near Mexico City. This time Trump tweets “God bless.” He’s becoming presidential!

    • weejee

      Did someone sneeze down there?

    • mackafritz

      Gawd was really looking out for them.

    • Panika MCD

      that’s exactly what people want to hear right now…in no way at all.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Hey, it worked for Red Skelton.

      • Bitter Scribe

        I think Klem Kadiddlehopper could have made a more dignified speech before the UN. And he didn’t speak.

    • Ωbjectifier

      I didn’t know you could do even less than ‘thoughts and prayers’.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Pivot!

    • Fartknocker

      Some discussions in TX about sending some of our state (not FEMA) USAR structural specialists to Mexico. You know, just being good neighbors.

  • The song is in Ab?

    That’s THE DEVIL’S KEY SIGNATURE . . . right?

  • janecita
    • h4rr4r

      They could have had ten 1 percenters!

    • bbayliss

      Part of the gain is due to a weak dollar.

      ” Hey, Mike, it’s Donald, “What’s better for us, a strong or weak dollar?”
      “Jesus christ it’s 3:00 AM, I’m military, call an economist.”

  • BadKitty904

    A reminder that Roy Moore is a Judge. As in, “with a courtroom and sentencing power and a robe and everything.”

    He is EXACTLY what the GOP plans to place on every bench in every court in the U.S., most especially the SCOTUS, if WE don’t stop them.

    • shivaskeeper

      Was a judge. Was. To insane even for Alabama.

      Other than that, you are correct, sir.

      • BadKitty904

        OK, OK. But still

        • shivaskeeper

          I know.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I love the little children, black, white, red, and yellow. Kinda meh on the brown ones. And let’s be honest, once they grow up, regardless of color, screw ’em.”
    — Songwriter Jeebus

  • Thorn Spike

    Roy Moore is A Idiot.

    I’m pretty sure that’s in the Gospels somewhere, too.

  • Nounverb911
    • Carpe Vagenda

      Aw, lookit Billy and his adorableness and the whole not being dead thing.

      • Bitter Scribe

        Yeah, he wouldn’t have been nearly as cute if he had died.

    • Bitter Scribe

      Didn’t Cassidy once try to use Kimmel’s kid in some phony rhetoric?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Mr. Blobfish

      Yup. Been souped all day.

  • mackafritz

    Hey God, how about giving Maria a sharp right turn.

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/910284133754114048

  • Panika MCD

    trying to do a sub and getting caught on this request as part of the submission:
    “a statement on why poetry matters”.

    yesterday I was all sadlike. now I’m just feeling like, “does it?”

    • HazooToo

      Why do they want that?

      • Panika MCD

        sometimes they want shit like that. I don’t know why they’d want the extra crap. I don’t even know why they want a fuckin’ bio.

        • HazooToo

          If they didn’t know why poetry mattered, they wouldn’t be accepting poetry. You’re not a high school student or a beauty contestant, and it’s not like they have to even know who you are to accept your freaken poem, beyond “I am the author, credit me”.

    • SnarkON

      It does. Write your statement in rhymed couplets.

    • bubbuhh

      one of the arrows in the quiver uv getting laid

      • Panika MCD

        no. I have never had sex with a poet because of their poetry. okay, so I have used poetry to get laid, but that’s not the point!

        • bubbuhh

          All teh arrows got a point!!

          • Panika MCD

            I’m a lady person…

          • bubbuhh

            Lady arrowz got points 2 also

          • Panika MCD

            that would be some very strange sex.

    • 3FingerPete

      Whether a sub or a poem always make it hammy.

      • Panika MCD

        that doesn’t make sense.

        • shivaskeeper

          Sub sammich.

          • Panika MCD

            that makes much more sense.

          • shivaskeeper

            I forget what they are called in TX. It’s been over 25 years since I lived there.

          • Panika MCD

            depends on the part of the state. they’re still subs in Austin. because: THUNDERCLOUD.

    • Zombishroom

      Precision in the words one uses these days is more important than ever!

      • Panika MCD

        and I really can show that in the sub? I have to say it?

        • Zombishroom

          Good point. Maybe write a poem about why poetry matters to you personally. Bam! Double submission!

          • Panika MCD

            I hate metapoetry.

      • therealpuredog

        C. O. V. F. E. F. E. There, is that precise enough?

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      No. It’s completely without value. Now, can we get on with liking it, anyway?…

  • SnarkON

    Pretty sure Judge Roy Moore and Luther Strange are Batman characters.

  • HazooToo

    I have a question about the very recent Nancy Pelosi protesting. Why?

    • bubbuhh

      cuz

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Because if they had tried that shit at a Republican’s event, they would have been arrested.

    • jesterpunk

      Because she has been working on other important shit and didnt worship Bernie’s senate healthcare bill. They also dont understand the house and senate are different chambers of congress.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Because if they can kill the DACA deal they can sell their droogs the talking point that Pelosi let DACA be killed.

        • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

          Like how if they campaign against Hillary they can claim she was a horrible candidate?

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Because Our Revolution wanted to make the point that saving DACA wasn’t enough, she had to get them ponies.

      I’m not making this up.

      • jesterpunk

        Do those idiots know that democrats dont control any branch of government because they couldn’t be bothered to get off their asses and vote?

        • CO

          Bernie promised them ponies and the Democrats are the ones in the way of them getting ponies not the Republicans. Yet again they don’t even know Bernie’s voting record on immigration. They don’t like when you challenge facts.

          • jesterpunk

            Yeah I learned that, I either ignore Bernie Bros or make fun of them now depending on my mood.Not going to get a good conversation from them anyway.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Please note the date on this tweet, which was launched with a major facebook push. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e3eaf88e9e6553878ebad62e15b4f1d6739dc682f167223a91e910238c3394e2.jpg

          • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

            That’s some campaigning for Hillary. Nice.

      • HazooToo

        I was asking because I saw Editrix getting hammered over it on Twitter, and they’re saying she’s just too white to understand that the Dream act was a half measure and it put people at risk and that she’s being patronizing and she’s a racist and I couldn’t make sense of it. I’m not sure why, even if they’re right about the half measure thing, a half measure is not better than a militarized fascist deportation purge.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Whatever. His operation is staffed with people who wouldn’t have credentials to pimp without Clinton and Obama.

          • HazooToo

            I agree. And sure, our politicians aren’t perfect and progress doesn’t come in instant bursts of pure exactly-the-way-it-should-be. Nobody’s does. There will be exactly NO ponies throughout this administration. The pony in this administration is MAYbe the dumbass President gets sweet talked by Dems into not ending DACA, and that is not even guaranteed. But the only reason I can see that our people would need to burn for that right now, right before 2018, is so that their asshole spoilers can have an advantage that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to get. That’s it. There’s no goddamn other reason to rile people up over it. She’s not the one threatening to deport their whole family because they’re “bad hombres”.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Vagina

    • Thiazin Red

      They’re either college freshman, or people who have the mentality of college freshman.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Russian trolls fooled them…

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      Because Democrats, Democratic policy, and the Democratic Party are their number one enemy. It is getting really overdue for people to wake the fuck up as to the threat they constitute. 2018 is coming soon.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I am assuming that you are snarking.

        • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

          I mean the bros protesting against Pelosi. Or maybe “target” is a better word than enemy.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Because as usual most of them want the things most of us want but they are fighting for it in the most counter-productive way possible, and they are joined by the ones who want the things that John Lennon sang about in Imagine and they like to yell at Democrats for not giving it to them.

    • SeeTrain65

      It’s the “All or Nothing” brigade.

      If we don’t pass it all, they’ll make sure we get nothing.

      • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

        “No Borders” is the winning message for 2018. Really, it is.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          I think that’s the key to getting the white working class after all.

          • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

            BINGO!

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Some more much needed cuteness.

    https://youtu.be/Fc_N2IQrTEI

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Love the kid with the duckling beard.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    I demand to speak with whoever’s in charge!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_zUfkgwXD4

  • Me not sure

    I thought only the Mormon Jesus knew about the “red” children. Is Roy Moore a closet Mormon?

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Hello. My name is Elder Price…

      • Ωbjectifier

        C’mon in, just whippin’ up some Margaritas!

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          You’re not wearing any pants.

          • Ωbjectifier

            Of course, this is my non-commenting time. Now hop up on daddy’s lap and tell me all about your little book.
            *works every time!*

  • Nounverb911
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I guess that’s why General Kelly looked like he wished he could disappear.

    • mancityRed6
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Stand strong? Against what? The mean ol’ UN? Common courtesy? Common sense?

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Smells strong?

    • h4rr4r

      You spelled dumbass wrong.

    • jesterpunk

      Pedophile defender says what?

    • wait! what?

      If I had the time I would create a twitter profile called psychhuckabee and mercilessly mis-quote Mike.

      “Good to see him stand wrong!”

    • Kiri the Unicorn
    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Let us not forget that Mike Huckabee is a “man of God”:

      I loved it and I thought it was exactly on point. He was saying to this group of people that if North Korea does not learn to behave, they could potentially be annihilated because we’re not going to put up with it. That’s a stout stuff.

      Hucksterbee’s God is obviously an angry God, a vengeful God, a jealous, malicious, monstrous God. I guess he does worship the Old Testament God Richard Dawkins described so accurately:

      “The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”
      ― Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

      Mike needs to get a new T-shirt made: “WWJN?” Who Would Jesus Nuke?”

  • canes_pugnaces

    When does this all really end. I mean really. Soon? I am really tired of winning.

  • foiled again

    Whatta lousy fuckin’ day- another earthquake, another twatfaced hurricane, President Garbage’s spitting up all over the UN, Turkey going up its own ass, another squalid dogfuck of an ACA bombing coutesy Republiswine, 360 degrees of everything fucked into a cocked hat…and the transmission I just installed in the heat and mosquitoes will not operate properly.

    Fuck 19 September 2017. Set fire to its lousy Goddamn bunglecunted ass.

  • 745pm…in my pajamas. I am a laugh riot

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I saw a unicorn in my pajamas…

      • How he got into my pajamas, i’ll never know?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          He looked damn fine in them, though. Unicorns can wear black satin like nobody’s business.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Adorable kittehs! I think we ALL need adorable kittehs right now.

    https://youtu.be/KgdWO5O7bpU

  • Nounverb911

    Hopefully this will make up for the Huckatweet.

    https://twitter.com/Salukis2/status/907973762104025089

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    well, at least there’s this–Rob Reiner and David Frum launched this today:
    https://investigaterussia.org/

    • h4rr4r

      That last name always makes me think of cargo cults.

  • Nounverb911
  • Serai 1
  • tehbaddr

    I’m certain he’ll do fine with his electoral demographic!

  • memzilla Ω

    There are no “journalist protections” if you’re talking to an agent of a hostile foreign power. https://twitter.com/bishopk0s/status/910244645938049026

    • jesterpunk

      Lumpy doesnt understand anything.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      He should ask Judith Miller how that works.

    • AJ Milne

      (Blinks at ‘I’m not a journalist’…)

      Preachin’ to the choir, man.

    • Joe Beese

      Hannity promises/threats: Many
      Hannity follow-through: None

      • Meccalopolis

        Still waiting for him to be waterboarded

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Welp, you shouldn’t be talking to hostile foreign agents if you don’t want to be surveilled.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Hannity’s feelin’ cocky after getting his “Best Picture” award, I guess.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Actually Lumpy, if your convos were incidental collection, they were discarded within 72 hours. You don’t have to pretend to be a journalist for that protection. If they were indeed kept, it’s because you’re a fucking traitor who is in on shit.

  • AJ Milne

    … somewhere in the world, I figure, certain friends and family of Roy Moore have finally listened to those nagging suspicions, looked it up…

    … and discovered that the _other_ ‘favourite bible verse’ he was always quoting–about ‘flesh and bone / by the telephone’–_also_ doesn’t appear anywhere in the new testament.

  • Moebym of the Returners
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Well, Russia paid for it.

    • Left Coast Tom

      Good, anyone dim enough to donate to L’il Donnie deserves to be screwed over.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        They are such, such morons. Do you think they will EVER wake up?

        • OutOfOrbit

          they are awake, but brain dead

    • Nounverb911

      SO much for being worth $10Bilion, eh donnie?

      • h4rr4r

        Do you think the rich got that way spending their own money?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      “We pay for services rendered. We don’t ask where the money is going–we just care about getting our results!”

      – Trump donors

    • Augustus

      he hasn’t got any fucking money

      he is a complete and total fraud !

  • rosenbomb

    Do Republicans cross out the Establishment Clause in their Constitutions, or do they just skip the First Amendment altogether?

    • jesterpunk

      There is more then the part that says they get guns with no restrictions?

      • rosenbomb

        I see you’ve been reading the Republican Constitution™, endorsed by Republican Jesus and paid for by the Koch brothers

    • Nounverb911

      But but but praying in schools!

    • Kiri the Unicorn
      • UpstateNYObserver

        And we wondered why the first things into mass graves in 3rd world revolutions were missionaries and priests.

    • Werewolf

      They think it means the national religion is Christianity, but the government can’t pick one particular denomination.

    • Slamtundra

      No, not at all. They just think their speech is all that should matter, and that there should be no state religion except theirs. It’s pretty simple, really.

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

      Try representing from Uranus.

      Oh, you have been?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      What a piece of shit. I really wonder just how many qualms that prick and a lot of his supporters would have about acting if they actually believed they could just exterminate all the Palestinians and get away with it?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Nah. Mowing the Grass means a self-sustaining emergency and permanent war-footing. Never look a gift horse in the mouth.

      • TJ Barke

        Oh, they ducking would.

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      And this is why his son retweets neo-Nazism?

    • Raan

      Before this year, I never expected to have to use the phrase “Jewish Nazis”.

      But here we are.

      • mancityRed6

        yeah, Bibi’s an asshole. that’s why he wanted to speak to congress before the election.

      • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

        Horseshoe done jumped de shark.

    • mancityRed6

      oh, god, it’s tRump

    • TootsStansbury

      The kids might say it’s ironic that Israel is under the command of a fucking fascist.

    • Red Bird

      I’d say Benji sees things in black and white too. IYKWIM.

    • Serai 1

      There’s guy who needs to get beaten up by a chick.

      • Slamtundra

        I don’t think you can say that. But if you could, it would be funny.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Just got my car out of the shop (had to replace a leaky water pipe.) I’d complain, but they had Univision on, which as you can imagine is all about the earthquake. They were at a loss when I asked them if they knew of any good local charities down there to donate to (I can’t give much, but fuck if I can’t do something for those poor people) so I guess I’ll see if Red Cross is down there.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      You’re a good person. I’ll see if I can find out more about charities too.

    • h4rr4r

      Leaky water pipes are a serious problem, but why does you car poke smot?

    • TootsStansbury

      When I’m at a loss Dr’s Without Borders is my go to. Is that an OK thing?

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      Someone above said Oxfam maybe in a few days.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Here’s one that Mexico suggests: https://twitter.com/topos/status/908000616575680512
      (Translation:
      Thank you for helping our work: Santander 92000709294 CLABE 014180920007092942 Paypal: donativos@brigada-rescate-topos.org topos.mx

  • Ezio
    • Ezio

      His shirt literally says “my rights don’t end where your feelings begin”.

      • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

        He won’t wear the helmet. Would be redundant.

      • TootsStansbury

        What does that even mean? “Punch me”?

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          “I am a giant asshole and the only way i can get ahead in life is guaranteed white male privilege”

          • TootsStansbury

            So yeah “Punch me”.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            And that hasn’t worked out for me, so I’m down to spending my allowance offending libtards while my family pretends I don’t exist.

        • Ezio

          Just more whining about “PC culture” or “cultural Marxism” or whatever they like to say.

        • Serai 1

          “I count on none of my enemies being willing to shoot.”

          • Lord Jim

            “YOUR rights end where MY entitlement begins.”

      • mancityRed6

        something, something, gets me banned.

      • Serai 1

        Good gods, can you imagine a more entitled sentiment?

      • Carpe Vagenda

        and your feelings never, ever end, at the border of existence or your mom’s basement.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      needz moar man bun

    • tehbaddr

      OK, I am at a loss, who’s the shit-heel, and why should I know who he is?

      • mancityRed6

        you shouldn’t, he’s just a rando with a jagoff shirt.

        • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

          A RWNJ rando in a jagoff shirt using a Socialist bike.

    • SeeTrain65

      “My gut don’t end where my penis stub begins.”

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Hmm. I wrote a song once called “Drinking Beer And Thinking About Jesus” (a title I cribbed from a line in Thomas Frank’s “What’s The Matter With Kansas”). I’d love for some Christian wingnut to quote it like it was from the Bible.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    We need less Judge Roy Moore and more s’mores.

    • Raan

      More s’more schnapps.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        That’s a thing?

        • Raan

          Maybe, I dunno.

          I was making a reference to that Civil War reenactment episode of South Park.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Now that they have marshmallow vodka, why not?

          We sent a gift box of bespoke s’more ingredients to the kid’s BF’s parents as a house gift. I understand it was appreciated.

      • mancityRed6

        ummmm, bathtub peppermint schapps
        “when I take a sip, it’s like skiing down an icy mountain peak”

    • Left Coast Tom

      Between Roy Moore and Jefferson Sessions we need to take away Alabama’s Senate seats until they promise to start using them responsibly.

  • memzilla Ω

    I like presidents who DON’T apologize to dictators.
    . https://twitter.com/thehill/status/910287415054602242

    • Stulexington

      The best negotiator.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Are you fucking kidding me?

  • mancityRed6

    I think I’ve seen this movie
    https://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/jesus-christ-superstar.jpg
    if you know what I mean.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Per my comment below about helping the people in Mexico cope with yet another fucking earthquake: this news article has what look like legit links to charities. I’m going with Oxfam Mexico, which will require me to brush up my Spanish. Back in a moment!

  • Cousin Itt un Mondialiste

    Hmmm. Don’t see a pic to go with this post on the Wonkette homepage. Maybe,
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c20c455234bf731c73c8f7b5a5df4a7293a0e7c5de79db192931d8fddbd444d5.jpg
    Too soon?

    • Mr. Blobfish
      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Sexy Jesus!

    • Serai 1

      You know what I miss? Jesus of the Week. That was the best fucking site. It moved over to Twitter for a while, but it was abandoned, looks like. Man, that sucks.

      • Cock Blockula

        I loved that site!

        • Serai 1

          The random Jesii button was great. I could spend hours there.

  • Ezio
    • AJ Milne

      … soooo… he investigates haunted motors?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      This armature seems like he’s got a few screws loose in his motor.

    • Raan

      And congratulations to him on putting up front all the reasons I want nothing to do with him.

      • Raan

        Also, I feel like “Norse Pagan” is probably code for “Nazi”.

        • h4rr4r

          Sadly likely.

          I like the old gods but the NAZIs made it impossible to celebrate them.

          • Ezio

            They want to suppress the rights of people of color and women, just like the Vikings.

          • h4rr4r

            I just want to have gods that don’t pretend to give a damn about anyone or claim to be able to do too much about it.

          • amrak63

            “I SAY THEE NAY!”

            Marvel’s Thor would set these “Nordic” neo-Nazis straight on their perversion of Nordic virtues.

            And he would do it in an elegant antique English which sounded like he learned it from Sir Walter Scott–but then, maybe he DID; he’s old enough… ^_^

        • mancityRed6

          yep

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Remember the young family running Trump’s NC office in the PBS show? “Norse pagans.”

    • h4rr4r

      That is one long-winded loser.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      an armature actually accomplishes something.

    • altleftjohn

      And I am Marie of Romania.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      …who will be voting for Kid Rock

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Ladies?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Da Librul Laydeez

      • Ezio

        *Tips fedora*

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        That’s “m’lady” to you

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Don’t incur the wrath of Odin.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      He could have just written “Nazi” and be done with it.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • SeeTrain65

      Line up, ladies … he’s taking offers! (retch)

    • mancityRed6

      bingo!

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Lose 50 lbs. and wash the crumbs out of your beard and it doesn’t have to be this way.

    • Red Bird

      I’m no expert of the social medias but if you need that many trending labels to describe yourself, you might be suffering from an identity problem.
      I can condense his bio to ,”I’m a white man who hates people who are different.”

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        But I ♥ ghosts.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          …and Vikings!

        • Covfefe

          This guy is no ghost. You don’t need this guy to help you find ghosts.

      • ltmcdies

        Reduce it further … blithering idiot who thinks he a Viking… perhaps

        • BeachBum

          Wait til he finds out there were a lot of Lady Vikings who could cut out your heart for a goblet o’ mead !

        • tehbaddr

          But he comes from the land of ice and snow (Michigan), and he has a blade!

      • Elendira

        Lets use Google Translate:

        Choose Language: Republican to Normal Human.

        “I hate women and believe that they are nothing more than a sperm receptacle. I am a White Male Supremacist who is also a Nazi. I am in the White Unity Church but am afraid to say it. Why won’t you bitches get off the cock carousal and date me?”

    • Fartknocker

      That must be his dating profile for E Irony.

      • SeeTrain65

        EGad.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          E-yuck!

    • tehbaddr

      What a catch! Quick Wonkette gals, don’t let this one get away!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        This might be a time for catch and release, maybe?

        • tehbaddr

          Be sure to Neuter your MRA and MGTOW’s!

          • BeachBum

            I doubt that’s necessary. They will pass on few genes, if any.

          • tehbaddr

            It’s kinda like blasting off and nuking it from orbit, just to make sure.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Looks like trash fish to me. We usually just knock ’em on the head and toss ’em up the bank for the gulls to eat.