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Bill O’Reilly swung by the Today show this morning, and, in exchange for getting to promote his new “history” book “Killing England,” engaged in a chat with Matt Lauer about his ouster from Fox and the sexual harassment charges what wrought it.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, O’Reilly denies everything in the interview, and is convinced that Fox gave him — their cash cow — the boot only because Media Matters launched a boycott against him.

“If you look at the totality, this was a hit job — a political and financial hit job,” O’Reilly explained, referring to sexual harassment accusations dating back to at least 2004 when former O’Reilly Factor producer Andrea Mackris filed the famous Falafel Lawsuit against him. You know, the one where he is on tape talking about how badly he wants to rub a falafel all over her body, and also the size of his penis and how excited all the girls in Thailand were about it? And many other gross things?

Not to mention Fox’s former Happy Hour host Rebecca Gomez Diamond, who also filed a sexual harassment suit against O’Reilly in 2011, and also provided recordings of him saying gross things to her, and received a settlement. And the $13 million Fox paid out to women who were sexually harassed by O’Reilly during his tenure there.

None of that ever happened, claims O’Reilly, he never did anything wrong or treated any woman inappropriately! All of these sexual harassment lawsuits are part of a 13-year plan, concocted by Media Matters and, we suppose, the world’s greatest Bill O’Reilly voice impersonator, to eventually get a boycott of him going in the year of our lord 2017, resulting in him losing his show on Fox.

“In 42 years I’ve been in this business, I’ve worked for 12 companies. Not any time have I had any interaction with HR, any complaints filed against me,” he said, ignoring the litany of complaints filed against him over the past 13 years.

O’Reilly also explained that “lots” of people were named in these various lawsuits, not just him, and that this was all fallout from the sexual harassment accusations against Roger Ailes. Which, let us remind you, O’Reilly also claimed were imaginary.

Matt Lauer attempted to push back at several points in the interview, noting that these lawsuits had all been filed over more than a decade, and that Fox had paid a ton of women off, but O’Reilly stuck to his guns and insisted his lawyers were putting together his side of the story. He also directed viewers to a website where they can see that one of his accusers was later in trouble for filing a false police report. Lauer asked if it were possible that “both things could be true” — that he could have sexually harassed a woman who later filed a false report about something else — and O’Reilly responded that he wanted people to make up their own minds about that.

I’m just gonna point out here that if this were, indeed, a “political and financial hitjob” it was a terrible one. What? Is Media Matters The Count Of Monte Cristo or some shit? They take thirteen whole years to enact their revenge on poor, innocent Bill O’Reilly for no reason whatsoever? That is really bad. Especially considering that O’Reilly’s ex-wife must have also been in cahoots with them, given that she claimed he threw her up against a wall when she caught him having phone sex.

Lauer asked him if this was all part of a vast left-wing conspiracy against him, and he laughed it off. Although if he’s sticking to his story, what else could he possibly think it was?

Given that the interview on the sexual harassment charges was given in exchange for letting O’Reilly promote his new book, “Killing England,” Lauer eventually pivoted to that. According to O’Reilly, it’s a very important book right now, on account of how “the left” is trying to erase all of the history by not letting schools in Texas be named after George Washington.

Allow me to point out here that no such thing happened in Texas. The schools considering name changes in Texas are those named after Jefferson Davis and other confederate generals. One school in San Francisco last year considered changing the name of George Washington High School to honor someone who didn’t own slaves, and the only other similar incident I can find is one from 1997 in which a school named after Washington changed its name for the same reason. That is 20 years ago! I did the math!

Of course, what can we expect from someone who clearly gets all of his historical knowledge from statues and the names of elementary schools.

O’Reilly then noted that it is important to keep these school names, on account of the fact that “most people” don’t know who George Washington even was. Which seems like a thing that might not be true! My elementary school was named after John F. Kennedy, and I was 100% aware, even as a child — hell, even as a child coming from a family that was half made up of Irish Catholics from New England — that there were presidents other than John F. Kennedy.

Clearly, Bill O’Reilly lives in a topsy-turvy world in which a loofah is a falafel, he’s never had any HR complaints, non-profit media watchdogs conduct 13-year vendettas on random Fox News dudes for no apparent reason, and no one has ever heard of George Washington. Perhaps instead of coddling him with interviews and chances to resurrect his career and promote his books, we let him simply remain in that world, alone and unloved, as he so deserves.

[Today]

Surely we deserve a dollar or two for having to think about Bill O’Reilly’s sexual falafels again, don’t we? Click the link to tip!

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  • Indiepalin

    I read O’Reilly’s last book, Killy Dilly, and I must say it was almost as refreshing as licking the label off a loofa.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    It’s entirely possible that no one in HR ever contacted Bill. Most HR professionals are women, and they didn’t want him to get falafel grease all over their parts.

  • Scooby

    It wasn’t a hot job. It was more of a wack job.

  • grindstone

    “O’Reilly stuck to his guns and insisted his lawyers were putting together his side of the story”

    His side: “Bitches. AmIright?”

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    “In 42 years I’ve been in this business, I’ve worked for 12 companies. Not any time have I had any interaction with HR, any complaints filed against me,”

    So we exclude the 13 years he was at FOX News, and that averages less than 3 years per company. That smells a lot like “skipping out before the fecal matter strikes the air propulsion device”.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “What does that mean, ‘to play us out’?”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Preening oaf interviews spotty bastard.

  • Bemused Australian

    I believe that Bill thinks he did nothing wrong.

  • The Librarian

    Bill O’Reilly is only a victim of Bill O’Reilly. The End.

    • proudgrampa

      I like your style…

      • The Librarian

        :D

  • TundraGrifter

    Remember when Bull O’Really?’s boycott of France was a roaring success? It said so in the Paris Business Review!

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      political and financial hitjob that was, for what I can’t exactly remember. Something about how maybe the invasion of Iraq wasn’t such a great thing. (which is demonstrably true).

      • TundraGrifter

        Freedom Fries!

  • OneYieldRegular

    O’Reilly claiming that his ouster from FOX was only a “hit job” is just further evidence of his refusal to take women seriously.

    And are there any men still at FOX who haven’t been accused of sexual harassment?

    • FlownΩver

      Kilmeade, maybe, but only because zipper technology is beyond his capabilities.

      • Vincent Ricola

        And he’s the one that looks most like a creepy sexual assaulter to me. Just goes to show you can’t judge a book by it’s rapeface.

    • proudgrampa

      No.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Bill got whacked by big Vagina?

  • TundraGrifter

    Bull O’Really?’s “investigation” has about as much merit as O.J. Simpson’s hunt for the real killers.

    • Three Finger Salute

      But what if he sends Geraldo on the case?!?

  • calliecallie

    I went to an elementary school named for Elizabeth Cady Stanton. I’m pretty sure Bill O’Reilly has no idea who she is. (If necessary, you can google her and be smarter Bile-o.)

    • SayItWithWookies

      Lauer: Are you familiar with Elizabeth Cady Stanton?
      O’Reilly: Never touched her. It’s all lies.

      • calliecallie

        LOL

    • Ross Garner

      I could scratch my arse with my non preferred hand and chew gum at the same time and still be smarter than Billo.

  • Wild Cat

    “He” (Martin Duggar) has a new “book” out today. O’Reilly is going to make more in residuals today for a book he didn’t write or research or read than I do in a quarter-century of hard labor.

  • stumpknocker

    bill, if you are going to grab them by the pussy and get away with it, you have to run for office as a republican, not a talk show host.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Bill’s only mistake was not taking da laydeez furniture shopping afterwards.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    I understand that children who went to Adolph Hitler High School have a 3000% better chance of being hired by the current administration.

    • proudgrampa

      The school yell: Achtung!

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        The Fighting Brownshirts have one hell of a football team, though.

        • Pisto75666

          So I’ve heard. They were nein and zero last season, weren’t they?

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            Ja, after that one Heil Mary play.

          • Pisto75666

            IKR? Their Reich tackle guy is something to see.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            Their defense Blitzes like crazy, also too.

          • Pisto75666

            It’s tough to go up against someone you can Nazi.

          • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

            They’re Goering all the way this year!

          • Pisto75666

            Hard to say. Even with a good record, they’re still putsching their luck.

    • eggs ackly-wright

      They’re in the playoffs with Commie Martyr’s High.

  • laughingnome

    The cardinal rule of all conservatives is to always stick to your guns.

    • proudgrampa

      Definition of conservatism. They are incapable of “new” thoughts.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    It would be a cold day in hell before I read any of the ghost written shite this ghormless oaf passes off as history to the fucking mouth breathers who elected Trump. He can choke on a loofah of votes.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Yes. This. All of this.

  • leemoder

    “Killing Lightpole”
    “Killing Carpet”
    “Killing Spare Tire”

    Writing is easy.

    • Blackest Noobs

      well you know Killing O’Reilly is just around the corner.
      it will be like his other books, devoid of any actual facts.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    First rule of conservatives…whenever you fuck up, always say it’s the ‘liberals’ fault.

    • jesterpunk

      The party of “personal responsibility”

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • FlownΩver

    Lauer will talk to just about anybody, won’t he?

    “O’Reilly responded that he wanted people to make up their own minds…”

    Done. Not difficult.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      it’s a long show, 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. I’m not surprised.

      • Pisto75666

        That and there’re only so many new fashion trend and ‘find out why everything in your fridge may be killing you’ stories.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Hacks gotta hack.

    • CaliCheeseSucks

      Lauer should have stuck with HBO Entertainment News. I cannot believe anyone takes that cluck seriously.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      This is the same Matt Lauer who spent 1/3 of his time with Hillary last fall on emails, while giving Donald a pass. Fuck him with a chainsaw of crappy ratings.

    • jesterpunk

      I hate that phrase, its normally used by someone who knows they are full of shit and won’t admit they are full of shit.

  • Bemused Australian
    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Never gets old. And here’s yet another version (playing them both at the same time is even more fun):

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxxR8JFsvlc

      • Bemused Australian

        Wub wub Bill wins! I almost ejected a lung =/

  • Mr. Blobfish

    My school was named after St. Leo, who I believe was a president somewhere in the middle there.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Bill-O thinks he’s doing the Nixon thing — leave in disgrace, hide out for a while, then one day you’re rehabilitated and history goes back to your version instead of your enemies’. Of course Tricky Dick waited a few years, and had the GOP machine rooting for him.

    There is a sliver of good news in this though: Roger Ailes is still dead. Just that reminder alone can brighten a gloomy day.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Didn’t Ailes die of complications from a slip in the bathroom? I really feel for the EMT’s who had to see his bloated, naked carcass. Hope they are getting good counselling and appropriate PTSD medication.

  • Blackest Noobs

    sweet baby jesus, what an asshole.

    Billy you got fired because the world got tired of assholes.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    O’Reilly also explained that “lots” of people were named in these various lawsuits, not just him

    “But Mom, everyone else does it too!”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3efe20846a031bf6468cb8bf0518a64602817d253fafc44c4867807af2dc99be.jpg

    • cmd resistor

      I’m guessing they are people like the FOX people who allowed him to get away with shit for so long or ignored complaints about him, that kind of thing? Pretty sure actual harassers like Ailes had their own lawsuits…..

  • Vincent Ricola

    8+ minutes of Matt Lauer interviewing Bill O’Reilly? Not today. I need to keep all my brain cells exactly where they are at for a meeting this afternoon.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    it’s a good story Robyn and needed to me told, but all I got is, “who?”

  • MynameisBlarney

    Wife-beating sexual harasser makes fart sounds with his word hole.

  • proudgrampa

    Bill who?

  • Creepoman
  • Oblios_Cap

    I’m waiting for his final book “Killing Bill O’Reilly”, where he chokes to death from inserting his head too far up his ass.

  • Anna Rompage

    If Faux Noose had any integrity, much less journalistic integrity, these fucking fuckpukes , like BillO, would have been fired within their first month on the job….

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Say, ya know which other Fox News personality’s firing for sexual harassment was a hit job?

    • TJ Barke

      Aot, k?

  • suziq

    Wait a minute! England got killed? When? I thought it was still there, oh shit, I will never know the truth because I am NOT reading that book.

    • laughingnome

      Aye! –

      Scotland

      • suziq

        Ah, very good. Carry on then.

  • Roadstergal

    Waiting for his book “Killing America,” about his role in the ‘election’ of Drumpf.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Billdo seriously needs to STFU.

  • leemoder

    Remember: this is the guy who couldn’t figure out how the tides worked.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He knew they went in and out…

      Sexual innuendo! What a pervert.

      • CafeenMan

        And he didn’t even care if they were wanted or not.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: Great, we smokers are either going ot have our smokes outlawed or be sent to fucking colonies like literal lepers:

    Lead study author and cell biologist Manuela Martins-Green believes THS exposure is a stealth toxin—a silent killer. We can absorb the toxins through our skin and through breathing without knowing we are exposing ourselves to harm.

    “Although our research was not done on humans, people should be aware that hotel rooms, cars, and homes that were occupied by smokers are very likely to be contaminated with THS,” said Martins-Green, in a statement.

    THS toxins can stay on surfaces for years and linger in the hair, skin, and clothing of smokers. Residual tobacco smoke mixes with dust, settles on surfaces and even penetrates porous material in paneling and drywall. And when it combines with indoor pollutants, such as ozone and nitrous acid, new compounds, such as nitrosamine, also known as NNA—a tobacco-specific carcinogen—are created that damage DNA and could potentially cause cancer.

    • Oblios_Cap

      We’ll just blow smoke in their faces when they come to take us away.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        shit, then they’ll just charge us with aggravated assault too.

        • CafeenMan

          What if I’m not aggravated, but smiling instead?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i parked next to a truck at school yesterday that had one of those “come and take it” stickers with a cannon on it.

        I think we could turn that cannon into a cigarette pretty easily.
        Lol.
        (no seriously, we all need to quit. It’s very terrible for us).

        • CafeenMan

          I have no intention of ever quitting.

          1) I’m immortal so I can do whatever I want.

          2) Tobacco is vegetation = vegetable. Look at your food pyramid. Tobacco is good for you!

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Every time I tried to quit, it drove me insane. Then I got better.

        • Maggielle

          I quit about 35 years ago, after many attempts. The successful moment for me was when I was watching a cigarette company spokesman on TV saying how there was “no clinical evidence” blah blah blah, and I decided right then that no more of my money was going to that asshole. It was either quit smoking or start stealing. And you know, that time, the successful time, I swear it was easy. That’s not usually the case, but I just hit the right moment.

        • marxalot

          Your skin will look better, too.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Also, stop throwing your fucking butts on the ground. The world is not your ashtray. And don’t tell me you don’t do that because that is what every smoker I know says and yet there are butts EVERWHERE.

      PS – sorry man, its a huge pet peeve of mine.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i (almost always) strip them and put the butts in my pockets to throw away later.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Me, too. I hate butts on the ground.

    • Mary Theresa

      Opps, read it wrong initially, I thought it said THC.

  • armed_bears
    • Villago Delenda Est

      To be fair, Hugh jumped the shark 16 years ago. The trajectory hasn’t changed.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Hay Hewit: plz expound

      • armed_bears

        Or explode.

    • jesterpunk
    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      record levels of civil unrest, record low approval numbers. Sure thing Hugh.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      “pretty good” = hasn’t blown up the planet . . . yet.

      • AJ Milne

        EE / Exceeds Expectations.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Sounds like one of the Weasley twins…

          • AJ Milne

            No no…

            The twins’ business was _successful_.

          • Villago Delenda Est

            I was referring to their academic efforts. Even they were heard to remark that any effort they made at all should have been graded as an E.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I thought that meant twice-exceptional, which is one of those bless-your-heart backhanded euphemisms for “special needs”.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      ♪ All in all he’s just a prick with no wall ♪

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Nice! I’d suggest “little prick with no wall” though. I think it tracks better.

        • Three Finger Salute

          If ya don’t send yer tweet, ya can’t have any Putin!

          • MarciaCAdkisson

            Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
            On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
            !si295d:
            ➽➽
            ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleNewFreshNetJobsOpportunities/simple/work ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sf415l..,……

    • Scooby
      • armed_bears

        Aaaaaiiiieeeehh!1!

      • therealpuredog

        WaPo is becoming totally schizophrenic.

        • Scooby

          I think they re showing how rediculous any defense of Trump has to be.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Jeff Bozos’ A.I. journalismism project has failed bigly.

        • Lord Jim

          You misspelled “sycophantic”.

        • redblack

          not necessarily. the link is to an opinion piece. furthermore, here’s the author’s blurb:

          “Ed Rogers is a contributor to the PostPartisan blog, a political consultant and a veteran of the Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush White Houses and several national campaigns. He is the chairman of the lobbying and communications firm BGR Group, which he founded with former Mississippi governor Haley Barbour in 1991. ”

          it’s basically a political ad.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Holy shit! How will wapo ever get the taste out of its mouth?

        • Scooby

          Trump basically sid the UN doesn’t do enough for world peace. Then proved it by threatening to kill 25 million people.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        The crime here is that this utter dipshit is paid very well for such crap.

      • Edith Prickly

        FOR FUCK’S SAKES. They will never stop pretending that Trump will eventually become the reassuring “daddy in the White House”, the press corps craves, will they? Daddy is and always will be a self-obsessed creepo with no interest in governing effectively. And you all helped put him there.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Talk about rose colored glasses.
      And if by “pretty good” he actually means, “worst fucking preznit in history”, then yes, I agree.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Well, he hasn’t fallen off his tricycle or nailed his scrotum to the floor, so, yeah, pretty good.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        i have yet to see him with a hand full of poo, so kudos DJT!

      • armed_bears

        Where can we send hammers and nails?

    • leemoder

      Ah yes, Creepy Uncle Hugh. The man went from “Never Trump” to slobbering sycophant the second Drumpf vanquished Cruz.
      Something tells me Creepy Uncle Hugh has a closet full of little shoes.

    • Mr. Blobfish
    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      “pretty good”= hasn’t been impeached….yet.

    • TJ Barke

      Yes, it’s been “pretty good”, thanks to the tireless efforts of the dedicated civil servants trying to contain his lunacy.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
      • Lord Jim

        Stolen. LOLed.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Pretty fly for an orange guy.”

    • proudgrampa

      Honestly, I do not know why MSNBC carries this asshole.

      Every time he gets interviewed, I have to stand between proudgramma and the TV so she won’t shoot it.

      • TJ Barke

        They wanna poach that Fox money, instead of just building their own audience.

      • Paul

        Like proudgramma, I’m often tempted to practice a little “Elvis therapy” on the tube. Instead I bought some of those rubber tipped dart guns. Incredibly fun and therapeutic but they leave little circles on the screen if you lick them to make them stick.

        • proudgrampa

          Hell. They leave little circles on my forehead.

    • Covfefe

      I read half of it. It’s a Poe.

      • PubOption

        Half of it but never more.

    • Lord Jim

      Well, lessee…continued to rake in cash from foreign sources in violation of the Emoluments Clause, embraced racists, pardoned a racist abuser before his legal process was finished, hasn’t been impeached or imprisoned…

      Not too shabby.

      *head asplode*

    • SeeTrain65

      Barack Obama’s must have been astronomical then, right, Hugh?

  • Thorn Spike

    Ugh. Network TV sucks.

  • chazmanr

    Hey, anybody know who that douche on the quarter and $1 bill is?!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Fake news. There’s no one dollar bill. It’s a coin, with Queen Elizabeth and (what would have been) the national bird. Although, she’s not a loonie. Or a gray jay. Or a douche.

      Oh, you were referring to some third-world dictatorship nobody cares about. Sorry.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Has to be said,

    Bill who?

  • James Baskin

    “If you look at the totality, this was a hit job — a political and financial hit job,”
    Ima sorry Bill. Really ima.

  • Freeperson

    I’m still waiting for the Bill Oh’Really Tide Books to hit the stands

    • Bozilingus

      “The wash goes in, the wash comes out clean. You can’t explain that.”

      • Three Finger Salute

        Tide goes in, stain comes out. You can’t explain that.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: And so it begins, Republican responses to Trump’s speech:

    “Republicans:

    Rep. Jeff Fortenberry: “President Trump’s speech to the UN: clear, strong, principled.” (See tweet)

    Rep. Todd Rokita: “@realDonaldTrump has shown our world tremendous leadership since taking office. #UNGA” (See tweet)”

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      “When asked what she thought about her father’s first address to the United Nations, Ivanka Trump said, “Excellent, thank you.”

      Eric Trump added, “Amazing.”

      The siblings attended their father’s UN speech with their brother Donald Trump, Jr.”

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Contrast with the Dems:

      Sen. Dianne Feinstein: “The UN is a venue to promote peace. Today, the president used it as a stage to threaten war.” (See tweet)

      Rep. Gregory Meeks: “America Alone + lonely late night tweets = Trump speech to the @UN” (See tweet)

      Rep. Mark Takano: Shockingly reckless. The human cost of “destroying North Korea” would be counted in millions of lives, including thousands of Americans.” (See tweet)

      • Three Finger Salute

        Silly Dianne. Peace is bad for business! Are you now or have you ever been a member of the Demmunist Party?!?!?

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Donnie manages to be even worse:

        “He writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.

        H.L. Mencken
        (writing about US President Warren G. Harding)”

        • Three Finger Salute

          “All the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

          ― H.L. Mencken

        • PubOption

          There’s no grandeur in Trump’s English, but there are delusions of grandeur in his head.

    • cmd resistor

      Two more people not to have a beer with.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Fucking idiots. This is a good indication of how likely it is that any of these completely spineless shitweasels will vote for articles of impeachment. If they can defend that…get ready for Donnie to be heading the GOP ticket in 2020.

    • PubOption

      “What’s this UNGA? Should be bunga bunga.” – S. Berlusconi

  • Marion in Savannah

    Gawd… Is there a single Republican who ISN’T a whining, persecuted snowflake?

    • Duke

      yes. but they’re waiting for their turn

  • Billo’s next book: Killing Washington. Bet on it!

    • SeeTrain65

      Should be “Killing My Career.”

  • Joe Beese

    Every Democratic Senator* except Gillibrand (NY), Leahy (VT), Merkley (OR), and Wyden (OR) voted in favor of the bill that spends $700 billion – far more than Trump requested – on the military next year.

    Ask those other Senators sometime to explain why we can’t afford single-payer health care.

    [* Except Menendez (NJ), who was too… busy to vote, and Sanders (VT), who, as we’re so often reminded, isn’t a Democrat.]

    https://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists/roll_call_vote_cfm.cfm?congress=115&session=1&vote=00199

    • Joe Beese

      Rubio didn’t vote either. He hates Senatoring.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      If it’s going to pass anyway, and you’ve got military contractors and/or bases in your state, why waste political capital voting against?

      • Joe Beese

        Nice bit of dry humor here.

        The bill also reflects Mr. McCain’s expansive vision of the role of the United States in world affairs. It authorizes $500 million to provide security assistance, including weapons, to Ukraine; $100 million to help Balkan nations “deter Russian aggression” and another $705 million for Israeli cooperative missile defense programs — $558.5 million more than the administration’s request.

        https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/18/us/politics/senate-pentagon-spending-bill.html

  • Viktor

    He got what he deserved and now is trying to remain relevant. Bill, go have a vanilla shake with your buddy, the collusion King.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Dear Bill O’Reilly. How can we miss you if you won’t go away?

    Dear Today show. Ditto.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Today Show: Yesterday’s News

  • Angela Ruzzo

    My grade school was named after Robert E. Lee. When they built the two first public grade schools in this town in the early 1900’s, they named one after Ulysses S Grant, and the other after Robert E. Lee, which they probably thought was a really good idea in 1904. Now there is a movement to rename my grade school, which is fine with me. The Board of Education has set up a Committee to study the matter…this could take a while.

    • Roadstergal

      My grade school was named after Martin Luther King Jr. I’m glad the builders had the forethought to give it a name that would age well.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        When I was a child our town had segregated education, and the “Colored” school was named after Frederick Douglass. That school was closed in 1965 when they desegregated the schools. I’ve noticed that they have not named any predominantly white schools after Douglass. They did name our new high school after a prominent local female African-American educator who worked her butt off for desegregation in the 60’s, and there was a lot of controversy about that, which is rather sickening. She deserved the honor.

        • Three Finger Salute

          That’s because many, many people don’t know he was a Republican. But people are going to be talking about him a lot more. Believe me.

      • marxalot

        I went to one named after a former ISD Supervisor and one named after the street on which it was built.

    • Um, yeah, it’s not like they’re Lewis and Clark (Lewiston, ID and Clarkston, WA, for example).

      • Three Finger Salute

        I thought that was Superman and his girlfriend.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s a great idea. Lewis and Clark passed only 12 miles from this town, they have a historical marker on the Katy Trail, which is very close by. I will suggest that to the Committee. Thanks!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I like Clarkston’s original name better: Jawbone Flats.

        • PubOption

          Was it named after an early blues singer?

    • proudgrampa

      Don’t hold your breath.

    • Three Finger Salute

      I have an idea. Keep the “Lee” part but name the school after Bruce Lee.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Wenatchee, WA has the same thing going on. In Washington. Not in the old confederacy.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        It’s rather surprising here, because this part of Missouri is known as “Little Dixie.” There is even a lake called “Little Dixie Lake” quite close by. I wonder if they will rename it? It’s in Callaway County, which seceded from the state of Missouri during the Civil War because they wanted Missouri to join the Confederacy, which it did not do. They now refer to it as the “Kingdom of Callaway” and they have an annual Kingdom celebration every year. There is a city on I-70 called “Kingdom City.” It’s about time they gave that shit up.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      mine elementary school (is that the same as a grade school?) was named after a WWII general.

      Yeah, bringing the warrior class up starting with the tykes!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You have given me an idea…we should rename this school after General Pershing, who came from Missouri, and who was, by all accounts, a very admirable human being. Or maybe they could use “Truman” since he was our very own President, and not a bad person either.

      • Covfefe

        Grade school? It’s elementary Dr. Taco.

        (This one isn’t on me. It’s on the Space Dep’t.)

    • cmd resistor

      All my schools were named after neighborhoods or geographic areas of town. There were plenty of other schools in town named after Confederate types. One of those got its name changed, to the distress of some. Don’t guess Southside Jr. High will ever be controversial….

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Is Bill O’Reilly under the impression the American Revolution “killed” England?

    • proudgrampa

      Probably.

    • Roadstergal

      It wouldn’t be the stupidest impression he’s under, for sure.

    • TJ Barke

      Well “The Empire” probably. But the world wars are on the phone and want their credit back.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        The British Empire was just getting started in the 1770s.

        • TJ Barke

          Tell that to BillO.

  • freakishlypersistent

    So President stupid has said the Iran nuclear deal is an embarrassment to the U.S.. No YOU are. Does he even know it’s a P5+1 agreement? What a fool.

  • Duke

    poor baby!

  • Bemused Australian

    Bill once commented that things were better when we (‘we’) were all united before the civil rights era. Tucker Carlson isn’t anywhere near as an effective a race-baiter as Bill, but perhaps he’ll grow into it.

  • Look, I’ve only been *alive* 42 years, and I’ve never sex-slimed anyone, and I’ve had some HR complaints lodged against me, because I’m a control freak type-A bitch who will bite your head off when you make the same dumbass lazy mistake for the 3rd time. For the last god damn time, you have to put the product numbers in the request log and not just the product name, BRENDA !! What I’m saying is, people get HR complaints lodged against them for normal, non-gross sex stuff reasons, so I KNOW O’Lielly is lying when he says NOPE I’M A PERFECT HUMAN WHOM NO CO-WORKER HAS EVER COMPLAINED ABOUT.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    We’ve seen David Brock ratfuck the Clintons back in the day. He’s way better at it than this.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Oh, geez. He ran out of presidents to have his ghostwriter assassinate, so now he’s moving on to countries? Worst Polandball fanfic ever.

    • theCryptofishist

      Upfist for Polandball reference!

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Completely off topic but a few months ago Amsterdam mayor Eberhard van der Laan was diagnosed with lung cancer. He kept working as mayor even though his health deteriorated and yesterday he wrote a letter he was nog longer capable of governing and stepped back. He wrote a beautiful letter asking every Amsterdammer to stay loving to one and another and to remain that loving city everyone in the world knows. Today this cartoon was published. The kid wearing the three andreas crosses resembles Amsterdam and the dad, Van der Laan. Text says moving on alone. I am truly misty eyed right now
    https://twitter.com/LeoBlokhuis/status/910039435848372224

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Rob, you once asked us to help with your english. Not sure if a typo or not, but I think you meant the kid “represents Amsterdam.”

      Resembles would be looks like.
      (apologies if snark or just a mistake. Just trying to help – and recognizing english is a fucked up mix of latin, french and fucking druid).

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Thanks, a mistake I normally would not make but the cartoon really makes me emotional. :)

        • Dept. of Space Tacos

          it’s a great cartoon.
          I hope i get to visit it someday. Really, it looks fantastically pretty and y’all are lucky to live there! (he says knowing he has to drive 12 miles through the fucking desert to work).

        • Marion in Savannah

          Your mayor sounds like a lovely man — and the cartoon is extremely touching. (And I loved Amsterdam when I was there years ago. It was during the Vietnam war, and my husband (who was in the military) and I were gently warned by an Amsterdammer that in the next street there was an anti-war protest that we might want to avoid. Wonderful people.)

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Since I live in the Hague nowadays he is technicallly no longer my mayor but as someone who grew up in Amsterdam it will always be my city. :)

          • Marion in Savannah

            We loved the Hague too — we were there when I had a horrible cold and wanted some sherry. We went into a liquor store, and the owner didn’t speak English, German, French, or basic Spanish which is what my husband and I had between us. Through pointing, mentioning types and brands, we finally got the idea across. The owner sent us off with a lovely sherry, and he insisted on giving us a glass as well. You’ve got a wonderful country!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Your country sounds so civilized. If that was Trump, he’d still be bragging about his crowd size and insulting everyone until he took his last breath.

      When in America, we should do like the Amsterdammers do. #GoDutch

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    OT: Trump, predictably, thinks his UN speech went well.

    “I think it went very well. I said what I had to say,” he said. I think the United Nations has great potential. If they get there, it will be something that will be very, very special. I think the United Nations has great, great potential. It needs that potential right now just about more than at any time ever.”

  • Baconzgood

    It’s just like that time Terry Gross made him walk out of an interview in a huff for asking him questions

    • BreakingDeadMen

      He’s Gene Simmons without the sliver of talent.

      • Weird Fishes

        ‘Sliver” is a generous measure.

        • jodyleek

          A talent for selling KISS branded crap, not musicianship.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      Terry Gross, really? The absolute least offensive individual anywhere?

      • Baconzgood

        It’s a great interview. He starts yelling that she wasn’t so hard on AL Frankin when she interviewed him at which point she said “I interviewed him when he was a satirist not a senator”

        • Gorillionaire

          I also recall that he boasted that he could beat up his dad, cuz he is such a man and all.

          • Marion in Savannah

            Well, isn’t that what all real men do? Beat up their fathers? /s

          • marxalot

            Festivus for the rest of us…

          • Villago Delenda Est

            Al Franken could take Billdo, but Al is enough of a gentleman not to engage in a battle of wits with the unarmed.

          • redblack

            wasn’t senator franken a wrestler? boxer? i’m having a senior moment.

          • Nockular cavity

            Wrestler.

  • dslindc

    “Fuck it! We’ll whine about it live!”

    • Bemused Australian

      There’s no words on it!

      • TimResistit

        FUCKIN’ THING SUCKS!

  • mancityRed6

    please, someone tell me my disqus is still private.
    I, uh…*sighs* I commented on a brainfart “article”

    • jesterpunk

      Its private.

  • Bemused Australian

    Am watching Donald’s General Assembly speech. What a fucking road accident.

  • TimResistit

    And I’ll bet Lauer allowed him to peddle his lies without even raising an eyebrow much less challenging him on it. Journalism. How does that even work? Nobody can explain it.

  • WeaselPoo

    And so boys and girls. once England was killed, Great Ireland went on to establish the Irish Empire.

  • jesterpunk

    Why is BillO so violent and why does he keep killing people and countries?

    • Three Finger Salute

      He actually wrote a Gary Stu “erotic novel” where “he” (a full-blooded Irish teevee talking head described as being unrealistically handsome) kills everyone who fired him and seduces the pretty lady reporter who’s investigating the deaths of her colleagues. Billo also has a dual role as the unrealistically handsome full-blooded Irish NYPD detective who shoots the crazed teevee newsman in a hostage situation and gets the girl.

      “Those Who Trespass.” Rated 5/5 stars by Birdcage Liner Weekly.

      • Thiazin Red

        Worse Gary Stu than Dan Brown or Steig Larsson?

        • Three Finger Salute

          Dunno as I only got through part of Angels & Demons. My aunt had the book, because she bought everything a Fox moron ever fake-wrote, but didn’t know it was smut. I did, but I think it was this book (which I only got partway through too) that turned me off of smut forever. Which was maybe the point. Have every curious high schooler read Billo’s rape-and-murder fantasy and end up phobic of intimate relationships for the rest of their life. Required reading for every abstinence education class.

          Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Those_Who_Trespass

          • Maybe

            We don’t need to read that book to promote abstinence.

            Have you seen our President lately?

          • Three Finger Salute

            The black one? Yeah, he’s nice.

            Oh, that’s right. We don’t have the black one anymore. We have the orange one. That guy — yeeeeeeesh.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I don’t know what’s more skeezy: The stuff he did, or the fact that he most likely, sincerely believes he did nothing wrong.

  • Nockular cavity

    Who?

  • bubbuhh

    Evil Pooh got girlcotted so Fox fed him lots of munny to go awayz

    • theCryptofishist

      Eeyore lieBulllzzz!!!!11

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • JMP

    He never did anything wrong! He’s a rich white man, and therefore it should be his prerogative to force women to do sexual favors for him, and Roger Ailes promised him an environment in which he could degrade women who worked for Fox however he wanted and the company would cover it up. How dare Fox management not honor that agreement after Ailes was fired and died!

    I’m sure this is what Bill O’Reilly actually believes.

    • Weird Fishes

      You make it sound so tawdry all of a sudden.

    • C4TWOMAN

      I’m surprised Ailes death hasn’t been attributed to the Clintons. Yet…?

      • JMP

        Oh, I’m sure there have got to be some conspiracy theorists alleging the Clintons and/or Obama secretly had him killed.

        • Maybe

          Hey, they all did it. And Nancy Pelosi hid the gun.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      He tried to have his wife’s new boyfriend (a cop) fired for cause for being his wife’s new boyfriend. His kid is physically afraid of him after watching him abuse mom and he’s in court trying to force unsupervised visitation.

      I don’t think he figures he needs Ailes.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Juggalos pwnz0r’d Billo the Clown. Too psychopathic for the Psychopathic Circus.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW5w5vLvjx4

  • Maybe

    If by “liberals” he means people who are against sexual harassment then I guess he’s got us.

    And I suspect that’s exactly what he means.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Specifically, libruls wif vajajays.

      • Maybe

        I’m pretty sure he thinks that all libruls have vajajays.

        He’s not real smart.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    okay everyone, gotta head to the non-job!
    Have fun.

    (i’m gonna be late!)

    • Covfefe

      What about the test? Did you pass?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        I have my first two tests this week! Need to start studying for first. (It’s community college and I’ve had this teacher twice before (and again for both classes this semester)). I’m no too worried.

  • Maybe

    Is there any current GOP politician or pundit who has not yet claimed victimhood?

  • Bitter Scribe

    This guy built his career by insisting that every bad thing that happens to a poor person, especially if that person happens to be black, is his or her own fault. Now he is stridently refusing to take the least responsibility for his problems.

    Being a hypocrite to the point of psychopathy can get you far in this world, but it eventually catches up.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Either their fault or the fault of “thug rappers” and Beyonce. Also, Obama.

      • phoenix00

        Don’t forget that crooked warmonger Hillary

    • phoenix00

      The Conservative Modus Operandi (c)

  • Tom65

    Says the man who settled various harassment lawsuits out of court for $13 million (with Fox picking up most of that tab).

  • rocktonsam

    Hopefully his last book will be titled…’killing my career.’

    • wait! what?

      Maybe “A Loofa-Maiden’s Tale?”

    • Smibo

      He was gonna write a book called “Killing Integrity”, but then he decided fuck it, he’d do it live.

  • Fuck you Lauer and you too, NBC. The only words I ever need to hear from this SOB is “do you want fries with that? ”

    Of course he’ll probably shoot himself before that happens. Oh well.

  • Jgb979

    Sure makes Fox News look weak that all powerful media matters was able to effectively organize a boycott that killed off their cash cow….couldn’t possibly be lawsuits about grabby hands.

    “Killing England”

    He does realize that’s one of four provinces of Great Britain right?

    Kind of scrapping the barrel of things to kill are we? Killing McKinley? (0% odds his audience knows who McKinley was) killing William Henry Harrison? He can make it a 30 page leaflet “it was pneumonia”

    • natoslug

      I know McKinley — he’s the pigeon shit encrusted statue guy on the Arcata Plaza.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      And the guy who they hired to take over meta-hot takes at Politico insisted that there was no point in a boycott, because nothing would change.

      Thought the resistance was pointless too. I find him encouraging.

    • wait! what?

      Obviously a typo on Bill’s part. It should be Killing Englund because it’s a Freddy Kruger bio.

      • theCryptofishist

        Not Freddy Kroger? The supermarket where the butchers slice the pastrami so very thin with their gloves?

    • C4TWOMAN

      I wouldn’t trust O’lielly to know Great Britain and the UK occupy the same geography, much less that England is part of it. He probably thinks Scots is hard liquor and Welsh is only going back on your word. And don’t ask him about Cornwall…..

    • Three Finger Salute

      John C. McKinley? That’s the guy from Scrubs, right?

  • PubOption

    TV wasteland.

    • Three Finger Salute
      • wait! what?

        1. The Real Housewives from “Anywhere”
        2. Ryan Seacrest
        3. Man vs Food
        4. BBC 3

        • Three Finger Salute

          Looks like there’s a lot more than four. Fox News isn’t even on that list and neither is anything Karjenner-related.

          • wait! what?

            I’ve always considered Fox something you stepped in rather than watched, lol.

        • Pisto75666

          ANYTHING with ‘Kardashian’ in the title.

        • SeeTrain65

          American Idol
          American Idol
          Dancing With The Stars
          American Idol

          Sorry, I forgot American Idol.

        • kareemachan

          Honey Boo-Boo
          Duggars
          Dance Moms

      • SDGeoff3

        1. Clueless Persians in Beverly Hills
        2. Fox
        3. Morning Joe
        4. Weather channel

  • C4TWOMAN

    Bill O’Lielly whines wot?

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    Matt should have conducted the interview dressed like this. I bet O’Leilly would not be able to contain himself. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d32dfb4e28bd6f1a4c7d3c5f298462de8cea7834b56980f1c484d4e06de31f9b.jpg

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    There used to be a website called Sweet Jesus I Hate Bill O’Reilly, that was hilarious. The owners ended up writing a book with that same name, and the website is now gone. Damn, that website was funny.

    • SDGeoff3

      Yes it was.

  • Zyxomma

    For a *very* short time, O’Reilly had a show on regular (broadcast) Fox, not Faux Snooze, so I got to see him in action. Disgusting. He was browbeating Pamela Anderson about being vegan, and she didn’t know how to fight back.

  • Poly_Ester

    BillO, who once remarked, “the tides come in, the tides go out, no one can explain why,” has everything else figured out, “The liburels did it.”

    • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

      Well hell, us gays control hurricanes, so why not?

  • I want a school to change its name from Washington to Soros.
    Just to fuck with this guy.

  • Panika MCD

    he opposes changing the name of a high school in San Angelo what was named after a Confederate general to Laura Bush High?

  • HazooToo

    To be fair, if Fox weren’t being absolutely bludgeoned with a full scale attack on their pocketbooks by lawyers and victims for years, and they hadn’t just lost their gross ass leader for the same damn thing, they probably would never have fired him. So he’s 15% right.

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    Most people don’t even know who George Washington even was!

    Don’t worry. Betsy Devos is ON IT!

  • The Militant Homosexual Agenda

    And fuck you, NBC, for turning over this shithead’s rock!

  • Spurning Beer

    Bill O’Reilly swung by the Today show this morning,

    and then the murders started.

    • phoenix00

      You can argue the murders started when he got out of bed in the morning.

  • 52camellias

    Bill O’Reilly’s cruel self-managed association with falafel is an insult to the deliciously savory little rounds of fried ground chickpeas or fava beans or both. Falafel tries not to hate itself — it’s not falafel’s fault — but it’s hard. Very hard.

  • jackie jones

    Dude, you are OVER. You were over when you killed Dr Tiller for ratings

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Representative of Party of Personal Responsibility refuses to hold himself responsible. Details at 11.

  • phoenix00
  • SDGeoff3

    NBC: making it easier to ignore the teevee every day.

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