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Morning Wonketariat! Here’s some of the things we may be talking about today.

Catch up on last night’s BREAKING NEWS about Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, and his three-year wiretap[p]! Obama and his time machine back to 2014 STRIKE AGAIN! Plus, $FiveFeminist will be here shortly with Tuesday Funday news of imminent Paul Manafort indictments!

There’s ANOTHER deadly hurricane barreling down on the Caribbean right now, prompting officials to warn that people will die if they don’t GTFO!

Robert Mueller has been shooting the shit with an old DOJ buddy who happens to be a Watergate veteran, and it looks like he’s the shadowy figure eyeballing Paul Manafort.

Son of Zombie TrumpCare: The Quickening hasn’t died yet, prompting Republican Sen. John Thune to comment that Bill Cassidy is a “grave robber.” However, bitching from hard-line conservatives and John McCain’s only-tepid maybe-support is keeping hope alive.

Meanwhile, back in the House, Mark Meadows can’t wait to fuck all the sick poor people who need health care, warning that his Tea Party crazies have a “binary” choice.

Somehow the Senate passed its big ass defense spending bill, casually leaving out the trans ban, BRAC and budget cuts.

Jim Mattis has severely pissed off the Pentagon Press corps by kicking them off Not American field trips and limiting their access to top officials, and that has people worried that Trump’s war on the press has dragged in the Pentagon’s top brass.

Sen. Jeff Merkley wants to be the next Bernie Sanders, but with better hair, so he’s been courting liberal and progressive groups, keeping his eyes on 2020.

Now that we’ve seen what happens when you ignore the frantic flailing of the fuckers in IT, politicos are paying close attention to cybersecurity in fear of being steamrolled by some murderous Russian email-ghazi trolls.

Trump will address the UN General Assembly today, and nobody is sure which “values and traditions” of his Lindbergh-esque America First crap he’ll casually gloss over.

In his introductory speech before world representatives yesterday, Trump jerked himself off at the UN, complaining about “bureaucracy and mismanagement.”

During some sit down talky-time last night, Hillary Clinton begged federal workers to stop their mass exodus, stating, “At some point they’re going to need you, and the country is going to need you. And I hope you’re still there.” UGH, fine.

Kids these days are less interested in fucking, fighting, drinking, and driving because they’re all busy reading Harry Potter and climbing mountains.

You may have been asking yourself what the hell is going on in Burma with the Rohingya, the state’s Muslim minority population, and why there are allegations of genocide.

A Fox Business teevee talking head is back on the air after an internal investigation found he didn’t rape a guest, but his alleged victim Scottie Nell Hughes is now saying that she’s been blacklisted from teevee.

Poor Glenn Thrush! He’s so sick of all the lies, and the bullshit, and the trolls, so he “deleted” his Twitter account last night. Enjoy the silence, Glenn!

And here’s your morning Nice Time! Slow-mo Snow Leopards! It’s so dramatic!

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  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I fear that my ass has not yet been kissed sufficiently to pass this bill.”
    — John McCain

    “Oh my stars and garters, where did I put my chapstick?”
    — Lindsey Graham

  • willi0000000

    someone from Rep. Mark Meadows district should ask him how much money he is getting to participate in the slow, but eventual, murder of so many.

    [ he won’t answer . . . or listen . . . but try, please ]

  • OneYieldRegular

    The Wonkagenda is just too depressing, so I’m going straight to the Nice Time. What’s with those stupid slippery rocks? Can’t the zoo afford those kittehs one of those ugly-ass carpet-covered cat towers?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    This just in: Exam results are now official and I am now an officially licensed financial advisor on Dutch tax and insurance laws and regulations. Up next: Equity advisor. Yay me.

    • beingreleased

      Can we ask you for free Dutch tax advice now?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yes we can!

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        If you want a Dutch mailbox company to avoid taxes you can open an office here but there always has to be a living organism in the office to be considered a true B.V. (Dutch acknowlegded business) A living organism can be a plant. Make sure you send in someone to water it every week and Dutch tax laws considers the mailbox BV to be a legit company.

        • beingreleased

          That’s most most useful advice I’ve had in a while. Thanks.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            No snark?

          • beingreleased

            Not at all. Maybe interesting would be a better word than useful, but I feel enriched by this knowledge.

        • Bright Bart

          water bears? how large must be the organism?

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            That I don’t know.

          • Ill-Advised

            Sea monkeys and mushrooms meet stated requirements…now, why do I need a foreign office? There must be a reason. Unemployment taxes can’t be avoided that way…hmm. I see a problem with my business plan!

    • Yay! Congrats!

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Yay! Dutch taxes are the best!

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Until you have to pay them. ;)

        • You get what you pay for!

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            That is absolutely true.

    • Nounverb911

      Congrats bigly.
      Got any insider info you can share?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        That might get him in Dutch with the authorities.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Don’t eat yellow snow.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      I’m Phlegmish.

      • FlemmishSpy

        Ahem.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      OK, hypothetical question – suppose a “friend” of mine has a lot of money (we’re talking tens of millions) that he got as a “gift” from a foreign leader whom we’ll call Pladimir Vutin, for certain “help” in a recent “election,” and he’d like to “invest” it somewhere where it won’t be easy to find and where it won’t be taxed too much. The Netherlands, or no?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        If you want a Dutch mailbox company to avoid taxes you can open an office here but there always has to be a living organism in the office to be considered a true B.V. (Dutch acknowlegded business) A living organism can be a plant. Make sure you send in someone to water it every week and Dutch tax laws considers the mailbox BV to be a legit company.

        So send Melania and a Ficus to Amsterdam.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          As between Melania and a ficus, I think I’m more worried that the ficus is the one smart enough to figure it all out and turn me in.

          • dlemex

            Be very careful about the ficus, it will leave a trail of leaves right back to you.

        • ViveLaResistance!

          So, you have to send two of whatever the plural form of ficus is to Amsterdam?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Planet Money actually did a story where they set up an offshore shell company. So they can give you some tips.

        http://www.npr.org/sections/money/2012/07/27/157499893/episode-390-we-set-up-an-offshore-company-in-a-tax-haven

        • Robbertjan Brandenburg

          shell company is a better translation than mailbox company. Thanks.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            On the other hand, I knew exactly what you meant. Also “mailbox company” is actually a great phrase. Very apt.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yeah us Dutch have a way with words.

        • Gayer Than Thou

          She sells shell corporations just off the seashore.

    • laughingnome

      Should I invest in tulip bulbs?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Flowers love people and vice versa.

        • laughingnome

          Gotcha! I’m all in!

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Tulip mania for the win!

          • Gayer Than Thou

            What could possibly go wrong?

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            We ate them in the winter of 1944 because nothing else was left.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            You should have gone with poppies.

      • calliecallie

        Beware the tulip bubble.

        • MarciaCAdkisson

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !si296:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleDailyConsumerFreshJournalsJobsReport1/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sf416l..,….

      • renegade500

        I just this morning finished reading Tulip Fever, a novel set in Amsterdam during the height of the tulip craze. And it made people do stupid things.

    • Paul

      Yay you.

    • Spurning Beer

      Last weekend I invested heavily in Stroopwaffeln.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        That’s always a decent investment.

    • Mr. Blobfish
    • renegade500

      I’ve always wanted to go to the Netherlands. Also, I look good in orange.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Well what’s holding you back?

        • renegade500

          Money! (Hey, maybe you can help me with that.)

          And also, a broken foot that I recently had surgery on, so I’m still not quite all there yet. But soon!

    • nightmoth

      Congrats! I bet there was math, so double congrats!

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        In box 3 we place income out of savings, dividend and investments. You pay 1,67% percent of the first 67% and 5,39% percent over the other 33% percent. add up that amount and take 30% of that to see how much tax has to be paid. Keep in mind to reduce the initial number by debts.

        Yes there was math.

        • nightmoth

          Well, now I need 2 aspirin, if I can still count that far.

        • Ill-Advised

          The trick is to keep that 67% small.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef
  • OrG

    Jeff Merkley. Yes!

  • bbayliss
  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    No Ozymandias. No Ozymandias. You’re the Ozymandias!

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I need some Slow Motion Snow Leopards. How do you get them to do that? Feed them a sloth diet, or what? The ones I currently have are kind of driving me crazy. They’re cute, but boy are they high energy! Also, I’m running out of neighborhood dogs.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Pounce practice.” They need a lot of it, for when it’s how dinner happens.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Oh, and does everybody know the world is going to end on Saturday? Yeah, it’s that darned Planet Nibiru again. Pesky thing. We should send Trumpy to yell at it. The ratings would be yooge.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2017/09/17/the-world-as-we-know-it-is-about-to-end-again-if-you-believe-this-biblical-doomsday-claim/

    • Bozilingus

      It’s coming here in ‘Stealth’ mode.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      OK, so I don’t know how science things work, but if a planet-sized body were hurtling towards us at planet-sized speeds with an ETA of Saturday, wouldn’t we totally know it already? I mean, wouldn’t we be feeling the effects of its gravitational field even now?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Us, and everything around us. But there’s a lot of stupid out there, and the Intertubez makes it more visible than it deserves to be.
        Maybe it’s flat-earthers who are convinced that a death planet is sneaking up from below.

        • willi0000000

          A’Tuin would never let that happen.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Yes and yes. We would have seen it months ago.

    • Shanzgood

      I heard that yesterday. Right after I made my mortgage and car payments, dammit.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        Well, if it gives you any comfort, your mortgage company and car finance company won’t be around to enjoy your money either, so…

      • Ill-Advised

        Shows you’re a good person, so if there’s an afterlife, you’ll do OK.

    • Bozilingus

      We really need to start shaming the willfully ignorant.

      • nightmoth

        Some people are stupid to shame. It rolls off them like water off a duck.

    • JCfromNC

      No way! There’s guys replacing my heat pump/AC as we speak! And you’re telling me it’s all for naught?

      Maybe I can delay giving them the check until Monday. Ha!

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    https://twitter.com/JamieStelter/status/910108888640434176

    Of course Billo’s conscience is clear! He polished it up with his loofah!

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      His conscience has been loofahed…

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Or was it falafeled?

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Geez, even *I* have mistreated someone in 32 years. I mean, if I were that old.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Clear” as in transparent. As in, there’s no trace of it.

    • Nounverb911

      And how many times has Matt “stepped out” on his wife?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      How did both of their heads fit in the same room?

  • La forza del resistino

    Total panic among the UN translators on how to decipher Donald’s words.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Just play the sound of a braying jackass over the headsets, fellas.

      • willi0000000

        . . . of course, you need to find a particularly inarticulate and dumb jackass first.

        • dlemex

          Sarah is in town I believe.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          An angry and demented jackass, it’s neurons fried by years of stimulant abuse.

    • OneYieldRegular

      I would think the opposite, that the translators just need to show up with a Keno card with words like “bigly” and “deal” and “terrific” and their day’s work is done.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Just bust out the Spek-n-Spell and hit random letters. It’ll be more coherent
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwWaeEyhPP0

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        “Does anyone here speak Confefe?….

    • Creepoman
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I bet Drumpf complaining about mismanagement went over real well.

    • ltmcdies

      pissing off the NATO partners was just the warm up …..

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I can’t wait till he finds out the UNGA audiences don’t applaud (unless it’s Obama)

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Skunk in the salon.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Sure, it’s all fun and games until one of those snow leopards you voted for start eating your face off…

    • ViveLaResistance!

      Not my face! They promised that.

      • aureolaborealis

        OK. They never actually promised they wouldn’t eat MY face. BUT IT WAS IMPLIED!!! Or at least I INFERRED IT!!!!!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I’m trying to feel bad for Hughes because Sisterhood, but I’m having trouble.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Oh she is a horrible person, but… ain’t no-one should ever be raped.

  • Shanzgood
    • OneYieldRegular

      Yeah, she was all like, “I could really use a tasty leg of yak right about how.”

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    My late-night reading consisted of reports that James Mattis (the “sane” Trumper) is of the opinion that America can engage in a hot war with North Korea while somehow avoiding massive South Korean casualties.

    Insiders are beginning to think that Mattis may no longer be quite so sane.

    The sleepytime tea did nothing to dull my inner screams.

    • Stulexington

      He’s not the sane one, he’s the most sane one. He still has to look up to see sane.

      • Crystalclear12

        He can almost see sane from where he’s at.

    • Crystalclear12

      Sleepy time vodka works better.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Get your Mount Gay before there ain’t any….damn hurrycanes….

        • From Russia with Love

          Hurricanes are normally north of Barbados, aren’t they?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Weirdest thing about the morning brief…the things we may be talking about today are the things we mostly spent the last 15 hours talking about in yesterday’s open thread.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Shit comes at ya fast these days…

  • Scooby

    In my day we fucked, fought and drank while mountain climbing.

    • laughingnome

      Up hill both ways.

    • Parakeetist

      Salut!

    • Major_Major_Major

      If they’re doing their bonin’ doggy style, both can keep reading their Harry Potter, also too.

      • Bozilingus

        Annoying if one reads slower than the other.

        • Major_Major_Major

          I also strongly recommend NOT reading anything funny, sudden laughter is NOT appreciated, or so my friend tells me..

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      In my day we fucked, then went to get a chili dog down the street.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      That mountain wasn’t gonna climb itself….

    • From Russia with Love

      Tell us about the rope burns.

  • calliecallie

    Slo-mo Sno Leo!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Playful Mom Snow Leopard was a delight.

  • Parakeetist

    I’m glad kids today are not getting laid. If I can’t get any, you can’t either. Ni!

    • Wild Cat

      What’s worse, I don’t think half of them want to get laid.

      • Gayer Than Thou

        That’s just un-American.

      • rocktonsam

        We live near a park where the homecoming kids have their pictures taken. The dresses the girls were wearing looked “very accessible ” from every angle but the boys were standing around looking at phones.

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      I blame the lack of 1980s teen movies where the premise was to get laid.

  • Nounverb911
    • Stulexington

      He’s a grifter, how does he fail so hard at photo ops?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Is that the Russian delegate at the other end?

  • JohnBull

    Loved the article about teens not drinking or smoking pot. The commenters were confused as to why, but most blamed the young people, not the decades of public policy of throwing people in jail or ruining their permanent records for doing such things.

    • From Russia with Love

      Our young people are too lazy to get high and fuck? Christ, we are in trouble.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    I want snow leopards for house pets. Don’t tell me that’s foolish, I haven’t had my coffee yet. DON’T PEE ON MY CORNFLAKES!

    • Finnibar87

      You’ll need a bigger boat, though.

      • Vorhees

        I don’t know about a boat, but definitely a bigger litterbox.

    • renegade500

      I think that’s a perfectly reasonable wish. And I haven’t had my morning coffee yet, either. (Working on it.)

    • ltmcdies

      well first off….you got snow where you live?

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        I live in Winnipeg…

        • ltmcdies

          so you also have mosquitoes the size of air craft carriers for the two months of the year you don’t have snow.

          Mr. McDies is from Winnipeg….just in case you think I’m stereotyping.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            Usually. Few skeeters this year though – too cool and dry.

          • ltmcdies

            Interesting. I’m sure you didn’t miss them.

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    Hillary Clinton begged federal workers to stop their mass exodus, stating, “At some point they’re going to need you, and the country is going to need you. And I hope you’re still there.” UGH, fine.

    Private sector is paying better.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Seriously, though … recovering from Il Douche will be more difficult the more people he drives out of gov’t service. Not to mention we’ll be stuck with all the assholes who sign up because they want to work for him.

    • From Russia with Love

      And some private sector figureheads aren’t batshit crazy.

  • renegade500

    1. Thank you for more snow leopards! I love them so much. But that poor, long suffering mother.

    2. When you said Enjoy the Silence, it reminds me of something I can’t possibly forget, which is I’m seeing Depeche Mode tomorrow night, and it’s going to be the greatest, best thing I do all year. Well, that and when I get to see Hills in November, and Joe Biden and Lady Gaga in December (not together, those last two, although that would be pretty awesome, and can someone make that happen?).

  • Gemz

    So Manafort is deep throat and he didn’t even know it?

    • Ricky Gay

      Not even when he was giving POTUS his full throated support.

  • Crystalclear12

    OK, popcorn ready to go.
    Bring on the indictments!

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    Lol. I see they brought General Kelly along to chloroform Trump’s ass in case he steps out of line.

  • ltmcdies

    Before the news of the day gets even more depressing

    Fancy steppin’ out clogs from old time Syria…

    https://twitter.com/britishmuseum/status/910082273856376832

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Available at Hobby Lobby?

      • shastakoala

        Or Ivanka’s new and original footwear line.

      • Dutchman

        Don’t be silly! Those things are waaayyyy too Mooslimie for Hobby Lobby Bigot Brands.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        Next to the Babylonian section.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          They’re always out of ancient cuneiform tablets when I go. Bastards.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Too bad Scrabble only has one Q…

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Ivanka announces a stiletto heeled knockoff in 3…2…1…

    • Nockular cavity

      Pimpin’ ain’t easy.

    • nightmoth

      They look hard to walk in, so I’m guessing the wimmins wore them.

    • Rags

      Is one of them a qab? Helpful in Scrabble…

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Granted I don’t know a lot about shoes, but those don’t look like shoes.

  • Nounverb911
    • Stulexington

      Downgraded to a campaign depression I see.

      • Ricky Gay

        From Cat 5 to cat vomit

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      “I was right about Obama wire taping me talking to Russian spy Paul Manafort, who I don’t know. VINDICTATED!” #DeletedTrumpTweets

  • Michael Smith

    I’m reading a book called “The Invisible Bridge” about conservatives’ transition from Nixon to Reagan, and it gets pretty deep into the public spectacle of Watergate. And it answered some questions I’d had because I thought they might be applicable to our current situation. Nixon, like Trump, divided the world into patriotic conservative Real Americans and cowardly or treacherous liberals, and placed himself and his voters in the former camp. Thus, it was difficult to convince Nixon’s Americans that Tricky Dick really had committed impeachable offenses and that it wasn’t all just a sore loser liberal plot to overthrow the legitimate government. And Nixon encouraged his followers to believe it was a bullshit liberal attempt at a coup.

    In the beginning, most conservatives believed that. Reagan (trying to build hype for an eventual presidential run) was always on TV saying that it was such a shame that the liberals were wasting American time and money with this witch hunt rather than on important things like Soviet relations, inflation, tax reformation, etc. And conservatives were writing into newspapers saying basically “so what? If Nixon really was behind the break-in, why should we care? That’s just politics, and it pales in comparison with the things the Democrats do anyway. Kennedy bought Chicago in 1960. Here, the DNC should be happy that anyone even cared enough to listen to them with that jackass McGovern as their candidate.”

    But as the Watergate hearings, broadcast on television every day, paraded witness after witness testifying to an incredible laundry list of Nixonian thuggery, even conservatives’ compassion for Nixon began to crumble. They never stopped believing that the Dems were engaging in trickery too… but the things Nixon’s people were admitting to on television every day was frankly more than they imagined was actually going on. Planning to kidnap DNC delegates? Parking a boat outside the DNC full of prostitutes and hidden surveillance equipment? Planning fire bombings? Keeping an “enemies list” and using the IRS to harass the people on it? After a while Nixon lost the sympathy of America.

    Of course, Nixon broke the law regardless of what his supporters thought of it. And the Congress could have impeached him even if die hard conservatives stuck to the line that his criminality is irrelevant when fighting against the evil godlessness of liberals. But it would have been much more traumatic. Who knows if Congress would have been able to impeach him without a lot of public support? And Nixon probably wouldn’t have resigned if he thought the majority of America was still in his corner.

    This is my hope eventually for the current situation. That Mueller’s report and any subsequent hearings will destroy right-wing propaganda through attrition.

    • laughingnome

      It’s a great book. I recommend Perstein’s other books on Reagan and Goldwater – really traces the negative arc of conservatism for the last several decades. Also, gives an understanding of how they are able to manipulate their constituencies which naturally should be Democrats.

      • Michael Smith

        Yes! I read Nixonland, and I’ll have to go back and read the Goldwater one next. Kind of ending with the prequel.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Thanks for the recommendation. I’ve put all three on hold at the library

    • From Russia with Love

      “…any subsequent hearings will destroy right-wing propaganda through attrition.”

      The problem is that it doesn’t stay attrited.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Everything I know about Watergate, I learned from watching the docu-drama movie, “Dick.” That Dan Heydaya really was an amazing Nixon.

      • therealpuredog

        Hey, after watching the first few eps of Vietnam, I’d really like to read a good bio of Ho Chi Minh. Halberstam has one, called Ho, that I imagine is readable and serviceable, though likely kind of middlebrow. Is there one that stands head and shoulders above the lot?

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          I haven’t read a lot of books on Viet Nam, so maybe someone else can answer. I’ve watched a lot of documentaries and did read The Last Battle of Vietnam which was excellent, but was about the Mayaguez Incident, not Ho Chi Minh.

    • Rags

      However, I don’t think there was ever any question of Nixon outright refusing to comply if impeached. Not so sure this time.

    • nightmoth

      I just read a skinny little paperback of Harry Truman quotes: nothing weighty or academic, but it taught me that even pre-Nixon the Rethugs were anti-health care and were screwing the working class. Gawd—I wish we had a Harry Truman speaking truth to power today.

      • Michael Smith

        I’d like to go deeper into the past and see when the GOP became basically the “no social services” party. My current feel for it is that it happened during FDR’s administration, when they were trying to find a way to differentiate themselves from him.

        Prior to FDR’s election, both parties had progressive and anti-progressive people. Obviously during Civil War times, the GOP was the more progressive party. But they were also the party of northeastern business, which was a force pulling them away from their stated original values. By Teddy Roosevelt’s time, he was still able to be an iconic Republican while fighting trusts, preserving national parks and advocating progressive labor policies, if only to try and ward off the threat of unionization (this isn’t to praise TR too highly – he had plenty of faults).

        I think in the teens and 20’s both parties struggled with balancing the desires of big donors with those of emerging progressive voters. Most people didn’t have the courage to go all in on a major progressive platform. Until FDR – and he got a lot of flack from his own party for it. But once Roosevelt consolidated his position as the leader of American politics, the Republicans began to find that progressives were just going to vote for his party and so they went the other direction.

        This didn’t mean, however, that they were as conservative as they are today. They were still generally the party of racial equality moving into the 50’s, while the Democrats’ main base of support was still whites in the Apartheid South. But that was shifting – because big landowners weren’t necessarily any more excited about a welfare state than were business tycoons. And Truman’s integration of the army after WW2 was the beginning of the “Dixiecrat” racial civil war in the Democratic Party that ultimately resulted, I think, in Nixon’s capturing of this disillusioned voting block once and for all in 1968.

        • nightmoth

          Well-done, Michael. My mother was one of the last of those Southern yellow dog Democrats, and it was all because of FDR.
          Her stupid republican great-nieces and great-nephews of today have NO IDEA of how FDR saved their grandparents’ lives, rather than allowing them to be literally worked to death in the mills and mines.

    • Cornelius Fussbudget

      I have this theory that the current Republican callous disregard for the rule of law, and indeed reality itself, can be traced directly to Nixonian butthurt. The logic is, after Nixon, his supporters dug in. The only way for them to square their position with reality was a virulent strain of both-siderism. Thus we eventually get: Whitewater, Monica, Garland, Benghazi, Pizzagate, “Her Emails!!111!”, and on and on. The song and dance was for the proles, but it worked too well, and now we have a whole class of lawmakers who actually believe every one of those lies. They actually think they have to fight fire with fire, to make the system “fair”.

      I’m too young to remember anything political about Carter. I wonder, did they start the witch hunts that far back? Maybe it was Iran-Contra that really pushed them over the deep end.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Who was the dude in the Bush Administration whose name Dubya mispronounced on purpose to “prove” he didn’t know the guy?

    • Major_Major_Major

      AOT,K. This is Dubya we are discussioning, after all.

    • From Russia with Love

      Dick Shiney?

    • Stulexington

      And it didn’t work because W mispronounced everyone’s name.

  • Left Coast Tom

    The eye of Hurricane Maria passed over Dominica last night and ripped the roof off the Prime Minister’s house, necessitating his rescue.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I am sick of hurricanes.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Man, you’re going to hate the global warmed era on the horizon.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Things are just warming up, so to speak. Living in the Caribbean might eventually require bunkers instead of houses.

      • Nockular cavity

        I am sick of these motherfucking hurricanes on this motherfucking planet!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Meanwhile, Chicago is getting it’s first decent rain in 6 weeks. Not before a bunch of my garden died from the drought, unfortunately.

      • The Wanderer

        I’m with you on that. A few of my coworkers just got their power back yesterday.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The taxpayers are spending more on fucking lawyers than they are on burnt steaks and Air Farce One.

      • Gemz

        I think Trump has to pay for his own personal lawyers. Only his white house attorney McGahn is paid by tax payers and he represents the office of president matters not Trump personally.

        • Bobathonic

          Campaign funds pay for lawyers.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Because with these guys it’s all one giant grift.

          • Bobathonic

            Grifters gotta grift.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • renegade500

      I have a cute kitty who has resting bitch face. She could out grumpy Grumpy Cat, but Clementine is actually the sweetest cat alive who only stops purring when she’s feeding her kibble hole (and even then, there’s some low-level purring going on).

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      How you doing, Blarney?

      • MynameisBlarney

        Grumpy.
        Running out of money personally and the shop ain’t doing much better right now.
        If Maria heads for the Keys, I won’t have enough money to evacuate again.

        • therealpuredog

          As long as you retain enough money to buy mass quantities of drinkables, it’ll all work out.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Yeah, I don’t.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Can you figure out a way for me to send you some?

          • MynameisBlarney

            I couldn’t figure out how to send money to Anna, so I can’t see how to get that going for me.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Let’s do this:

            kiri33(at)hotmail(dot)com

            Just tell me where I can send a check.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Thanks, I’mma hold off as long as I can though.
            I hate asking for help. It damn near killed me to accept money from my cousin.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            All right. Just remember there’s someone here who gives a damn.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I know, and I really do appreciate it. I’m just stubborn as a damn mule when it comes to accepting help.
            I’ll probably break down as soon as my last cigarette is smoked.

          • therealpuredog

            A GoFundMe worth doing!

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’mma ask the govt. for some cheddar first.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Urk. Here’s to Maria having a nice fizzle-out off the coast of Georgia or something.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’ll bloody well drink to that! Cheers!

    • Red Bird

      How are yoy? Staying safe and dry I hope.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I’m ok, just in a shitty mood.
        Safe and dry, and hoping Maria misses the Keys.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Night 2 of Vietnam was just as stunningly good…

    • therealpuredog

      The first five episodes are all up on PBS’s website and available to stream.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        I was just about to watch this last night on my Roku PBS-streamer thing. But I figured I’d be sleep 15 minutes into it. I guess I’ll have to wait til the weekend.

        • therealpuredog

          It’s pretty darned chewy.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I’m doing two a night. It’s all I can take. I lived through it; 5 minutes into the intro to Episode 1 I was sobbing.

    • The Wanderer

      I caught most of it on rerun early this morning as I was eating breakfast.

  • Gemz

    What secret special papers is Trump’s lawyer McGahn hiding in his safe that he doesn’t want Mueller to see?

    Hmmmm?

    • Stulexington

      It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

      • therealpuredog

        Note that, according to the Federal Rules of Evidence, a videotape is a “document.”

        • YoBunnyBunny

          FREE the PEE tape!!!

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Let justice come down like a mighty stream!

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Time for some more lock-picking.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    The thing-that-would-not-go-the-fuck-away is baaaaaaaack…
    https://twitter.com/KailiJoy/status/910131475995078656

    • From Russia with Love

      I’m guessing that fist does not mean “Black Power”?

      • Nockular cavity

        Now it means “gripping Donnie’s dick.”

        Sorry, everyone.

        • willi0000000

          loosely.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          I’m outta my bunk.

      • Red Bird

        They steal everything

      • Bill D. Burger

        If you open it, it’s just a reminder. Says: “Wash me.”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I’m actually hoping Moore wins. It’s better to have someone who is at least honest about being a white supremacist.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Plus, Trump is supporting and apparently will be campaigning for Luther Strange. Not exactly going to enhance his “prestige,” if he #loses again.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Exactly. You want to appeal to your base of unhinged bigots? Well, here you go.

          • cmd resistor

            Wonder if he will have a change of heart and drop Strange if it looks like he is going to be a LOOOSER.

    • Ricky Gay

      She jonesing for her next Big Gulp?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie
      • nightmoth

        Lice and crabs ARE hard to get rid of.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      She’s seeking her own level…which at this point is about a half step away from the biker bar/strip club circuit.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        And they don’t want her….

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • Skaarphy

    As expected, the Trump base sees Trump to be proven right – again! – after the Manafort revelation. How do they do that? And why? I just don’t get it.

    • Bill D. Burger

      It’s the clarity and focus of their vision. That…and they’re stunningly stupid and willfully ignorant. That too.

      https://i.imgflip.com/vg7fd.jpg

      • Skaarphy

        I have two theories:

        1. All people above an IQ of 100 voted for Hillary, all below for Trump. But that’s intelligencism. :( It still would explain a lot. How easily they fell and keep falling for a most obvious conman, for one.

        2. All nice and decent people voted for Hillary, all assholes for Trump.

        But neither of which really align with my “worldviews”: dumb does not necessarily mean dumb (if you know what I mean), and: there can’t be that many assholes around, can there?

        • nightmoth

          All of our racist stupid hick neighbors voted for Trump. But my husband’s educated rich republican cousins voted for Trump, too. So I’ll go with number 2.

        • bupkus231

          “…there can’t be that many assholes around, can there?”

          Never “misunderestimate” the number of possible assholes present in any particular milieu….

    • Stulexington

      I believe it comes from the same delusional state that makes them photo shop pics badly and then try to pass them off as fact.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Cult of personality.
      Well, “personality”.

      • Skaarphy

        Yes. But from what I know about personality cults they are either very limited in their reach, or it takes a long, consistent and widespread effort to go beyond that.
        Neither of which seems to be true for Trumpism.

        But maybe it is that. Efforts by the RW media to insulate and instill a notion of victimhood into conservatives have been going on for decades. Maybe Trump is just the mutated culmination of their efforts, and that’s all there is.

        • alpacapunchbowl

          It has to start somewhere, right?

  • Bill D. Burger

    Hope there will be room in NYC for the millions who showed up to support their Dear Leader at the Mother(fucker) of All Rallies on Saturday in DC.

    https://twitter.com/TalbertSwan/status/910002914281869312

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Looks like it was a nice day otherwise.

    • nightmoth

      This picture needs small children running around with squirt guns.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    Jeff Merkley spent the last primaries pimping open primaries and caucuses. He said something very different in the previous election, when his state rejected them by over 60% (Bloomberg, the guy who’s probably bankrolling TYT’s efforts at primarying Democrats from behind his old friend Buddy Roemer, paid for a ballot initiative with some guy from Enron). So, more or less fuck Jeff Merkeley until further notice.

    Of course, it’s By EDWARD-ISAAC DOVERE, who’s Politico’s man on pimping the ‘progressive revolution’ least likely to unseat Republcians, so.

    • therealpuredog

      I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If Jeff looks like he can win, he’ll be just fine. (This approach didn’t work out so well last time, I’ll confess.)

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Hey, you guys stay safe.

      Also, waffles!

    • The Wanderer

      Mmmmmm, waffles!

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Waffles > pancakes.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Hellboy is really bringin’ it these days:

    https://twitter.com/perlmutations/status/910136168712409092

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BigCSouthside

      Biggest crowd ever. PERIOD

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        They were all on their period AT THE SAME TIME????….

        • The Wanderer

          Yep. Roll Tide!

        • BigCSouthside

          Hey, sometimes they sync up

      • Stulexington

        Yooouge!

    • willi0000000
      • aureolaborealis

        FAKE NEWS!!! Way too muscular.

    • From Russia with Love

      At least there will be plenty of room for Trump and his massive penis.

    • aureolaborealis

      There were bigger crowds for the halal food trucks on 14th Street there (also in the red circle) when I was in D.C. this spring.

  • janecita

    Man, I miss Fidel and Chavez! They would have told Trump off at the United Nations, it would have been awesome!

    • Darlene Underdahl

      “I smell sulfur.”

      • janecita

        I loved that!

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Chavez was a dictatorial shit, but credit where credit’s due, that was funny as hell.

        • janecita

          I’m sorry, but Chavez was democratically elected by his people, and was popular as hell in Venezuela.

          • therealpuredog

            Why not both?

          • Werewolf

            Old Wonkette game:

            Say, who *else* was a dictatorial shit who was democratically elected and popular as hell?

          • janecita

            Comparing Chavez to Hitler is ridiculous.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            I’m going to respectfully disagree. He may have initially been democratically elected but he became essentially a tyrant. The horrifying current situation down there didn’t spring from nowhere.
            I briefly dated a Venezuelan. We discussed this at length, and he would both disagree with me and in the next breath defend everything I questioned him on. Granted he worked for the Consulate so in a sense that was his job, but his arguments were both unconvincing and frankly pretty creepy in a hero-worship/drank the kool-aid kinda way.

          • janecita

            Here is the thing, I might not have dated a Venezuelan, but I lived in Caracas for three years when I was a kid. My sister is married to a Venezuelan, my eldest niece was born in Venezuela, my brother is also married to a Venezuelan, I still have friends in Venezuela. Chavez might not have been perfect, but Venezuela before him was a model of inequities. In the three years that I lived in Venezuela, I wasn’t allowed to attend school. Why? Because I was what they called a “transient,” a person living there for a time before coming to the United States. Imagine a very rich country, in which the poor don’t have access to schools and medicine. That was Venezuela before Chavez. I was a very naive kid, I had never seen people begging on the streets in Cuba. When I got to Venezuela I was overwhelmed by the sheer level of homeless kids, and poor people. I was in Venezuela during an attempted coup d’etat “El Caracazo.” The government massacred the people on the streets, and mind me, this is way before Chavez.
            https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caracazo

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Yes, I never lived there, but I’ve been a human rights activist for over 25 years and am well aware of how awful things were. Well thank goodness Chavez introduced and instituted all those sustainable policies and there are hardly any homeless or hungry people in Venezuela anymore.
            Plus, I’m appalled by Putin cracking down on all non-state-controlled media, and I was appalled by Chavez doing the exact same thing. I absolutely understand why he was democratically elected, I had a lot of hope when that happened, but I would argue that just like with Putin his sustained popularity was a result of people not having access to information about the things he was doing to stifle dissent, including arresting people for nothing more than speaking out against some of the things he was doing. And yes, I also realize that some, perhaps even most of those dissidents really just wanted to return Venezuela to its pre-Chavez status quo, but that doesn’t make it okay in a democracy to label all those who dare to question their government as treasonous propagandists. And yes, Consulate guy was very open that that’s what they were doing. It’s terrifying and despotic and not okay in Russia, Venezuela or anywhere else it happens, regardless of who’s in power, and I hope to hell it never happens here.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Stulexington

      Who was it that said someone under federal investigation should be ineligible for the office of POTUS?

      • JCfromNC

        Gosh, lemme think, it’s on the tip of my tongue… same fellow that said a vote for Hillary would result in an administration that was under criminal investigation from Day One…

  • The Wanderer

    It’s fun to watch Mama Snow Leopard close her eyes and brace herself just before her kid slams into her.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      I didn’t know snow leopards could even roll their eyes!

  • Nounverb911
    • aureolaborealis

      I have already Resistbotted Murkowski and Sullivan on this issue.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Haha…Melania gets on different escalator than Trump at UN, gets a ‘look’.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Wisdom for everyone listening to Cheetolini today:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKFyHZSUIAAqMOk.jpg

  • Nounverb911

    Oh yeah, this happened.
    Little bastard got kicked out of Transylvania U.

    https://twitter.com/Rschooley/status/909939745622339584

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Good.

    • The Wanderer

      Karma.
      Although I like the designer style, Karma Ghia.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      …and then the murders began…

      • therealpuredog

        beat me to it

    • nightmoth

      Do kids still get brownie points from college admissions staff for doing “community service” good deeds? Hey, young rethug, that means stuff like Meals on Wheels, not this crap.

    • aureolaborealis

      The mewling of the conservatives on this story … she was BREAKING THE LAW, of course he had a DUTY to harass her. All the while forgetting/ignoring/confusing that whatever lawbreaking she did was civil law, and was really on her parents, while wunderboi was actually breaking criminal law (and school policy) by harassing her his own goddamn self.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Trump is speaking…bring out your dread!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
    • Bill D. Burger
    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      Don’t most of them live in NYC for quite some time?

      • janecita

        Just go with it, humor the poor senile grandpa.

        • dlemex

          It will be the least cringe-worthy thing about his speech.

    • Stulexington
    • ltmcdies

      they didn’t just arrive yesterday, dumbass

    • Bill D. Burger

      He sees himself as King of NYC and Emperor for Life of the United States. Easy mistake.
      Dementia so obvious and on display to the world is a sad and embarrassing thing.

      https://www.dagger.com/us/sites/default/files/images/king%20of%20nyc.jpg

    • TJ Barke

      Make America a joke again…

    • The Wanderer

      Christ on a floor buffer.

    • The Wanderer

      For the love of a good kosher Reuben sandwich, will at least one of the GA members please start laughing at / heckling this feckless douche?

      • Werewolf

        Umm, kosher Reuben sandwich is kind of a contradiction in terms.

        • The Wanderer

          Oh yeah, forgot about the cheese. So, what do you want, already? I’m as goy as they come.

    • From Russia with Love

      Did he stun them all with his rendition of ♪ ♫ New York, New York ♪ ♫?

      • The Wanderer

        Yog-Sothoth’s Yellow Yarbles, DON’T LET HIM SING!

    • VirginiaWackelpudding

      Did he actually for realz say that? Dog nabbit commit the fuker already.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Gemz

    Trump using address to UN to claim credit for economy and brag about the size of his military and his hands.

    • TundraGrifter

      Too bad he couldn’t mention all the people in the Caribbean who have suffered from the hurricanes who aren’t Americans. Dude never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity.

      • exactly what i was thinking. local NPR wonders if he’ll mention rohingyas.

        • cmd resistor

          Yeah, right. He hasn’t got a clue who they are.

      • BadKitty904

        He’s gifted that way.

        • TundraGrifter

          I guess on the bright side he didn’t whine about losing a house he owns.

          • BadKitty904

            Yet.

    • BadKitty904
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Trump Lawyer Insists In Senate Testimony He Never Colluded With Russia http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/michael-cohen-senate-testimony_us_59c07ec7e4b087fdf507872d

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Also claims investigation is “unAmerican”

  • doggiedaddy
  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I mean, the world already knows he’s a self-aggrandizing piece of shit, but there’s nothing like giving him a world stage to drive the embarrassing point home 😔
    https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/910143114882568194

    • JohnBull

      For those of us who didn’t have to cash out to keep our homes, this stock market rally might mean something.

    • The Wanderer

      Yep, worthy of praise, considering he’s still operating under Obama’s economy. He gets the blame starting on 1 October.

    • god he’s a PoS

    • Stulexington

      Has he talked about his huge crowds and his landslide EC win yet? He won the EC you know.

    • ltmcdies

      every group of 4 or more people is just another god damn campaign rally for this jack ass

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      He’s about 200 litres of liquid pig shit poured into a spray tanned bag of skin and clad in an ill-fitting suit.

      • Major_Major_Major

        He’s the personification of a hobo fart.

        • Bub, the cynical zombie

          Even the most dissolute, disgusting hobo, fuelled with baked beans, spoiled dumpster leavings and MD 20/20, couldn’t flatulate something as unutterably vile as Donnie.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Did he bring a pair of gloves to try on and claim his hands are too big to fit them?

      • therealpuredog

        If the gloves don’t fit, he’s just a shit.

    • BigCSouthside

      #ThanksObama

      • freakishlypersistent

        U owe me a beer!

    • freakishlypersistent

      Thanks, Obama!

    • Stulexington
  • Bub, the cynical zombie

    Maybe this is how to drive the point home? Have Morgan Freeman explain it in his incredible voice:

    https://twitter.com/InvestigateRU/status/910100283463798785

    • Bananas Foster

      Damn it. I just did my mascara.

      *sniff*

  • rump at the UN: USAUSAUSA anodyne crap about the world being bigUSAUSAUSA patriotism constitution DO IT USA best country ever anodyne crap USAUSAUSA.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      He’s probably wondering why the “LOCK HER UP!!” chants haven’t started.

  • ariel_gee_398

    I thought we needed to ever expand our military and stop Iran at all costs?
    https://twitter.com/Tmgneff/status/910088660879659008

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
    blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

  • oh good. now we’re back to ‘evil’.

  • janecita

    My grandmother was French, I wonder if I could apply for French citizenship. Fuck, Trump is such an embarrassing asshole!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • freakishlypersistent

    Imma let you guys watch the pack of lies that will be his “speech”. Let me know when I can stop rolling my eyes.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      Next Thursday. Maybe later. He’s fucking with China, Russia and, I think, Montenegro right now.

      • ltmcdies

        what did Montenegro do?

        • therealpuredog

          Got in his way.

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          Bad blowie.

      • Stulexington

        Wait, he has a bad thing to say about Russia now? He must be getting desperate.

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          Ayup. Then he thanked them for the sanction vote. Truly schizophrenic, he is.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BadKitty904

      What do you mean, ‘Squeal like a pig’?

    • Stulexington

      It was all so sudden too, I thought they were interested in hiring me when they called me a person of interest.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • armed_bears

    My cat moves like that, but — you know — all the time. Is it a snow leopard also too?

    • janecita

      Yes.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bananas Foster

    That leopard video is fucking mesmerizing.

    My blood pressure dropped by 20 points.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TundraGrifter

    I sense a certain disconnect from President Trump bragging about the Obama economy, saying America comes first (and not mentioning many of the victims of the recent hurricanes), urging world leaders to look out for their own nations, and then calling for everyone to work together.

  • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

    Israel! Drink!!

  • Bill D. Burger
    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This one is a lot more believable than the cat rescue, I have to say.

    • JohnBull

      Him?

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Crystalclear12

    I’m worried about the first indictment.
    We have waited so long.
    I just want it to be special.

    • OutOfOrbit

      me yoo i wanna see some REALLY hard take-downs

    • From Russia with Love

      Of course it will be special. Mueller’s a special prosecutor.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • TJ Barke

    Pro tip: Russia didn’t back Trump because they thought he’d be good for America…

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Did Trump feel the need to throw ‘Rocket Man’ into his speech?

    Of course he did.

    • From Russia with Love

      It’s far too clever not to beat it to death…

    • AJ Milne

      Disappointed…

      Far as I’m concerned, if he doesn’t pause a sec before the line, slip on some Elton John-style star-shaped glasses, and _then_ deliver his nugget o’ rhetorical brilliance, guy’s just treading water.

      • george lastrapes

        “Someone shaved my wife tonight…”

    • ariel_gee_398

      He also said that because of “American character” we fought wars overseas but never became imperialist or imposed our way of life on other people. I just…his dumb is causing me physical pain this morning.

  • Gemz

    Trump calls Kim Jong-un Rocket Man at UN.

    Drink

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtVBCG6ThDk

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Tell me this did not happen.

      • Gemz

        Oh it happened.

      • The Wanderer

        Gods damn it.

    • From Russia with Love

      Nothing says presidential gravitas quite like making fun of the guy who wants to nuke your airbase on Guam.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Big assed Navy base also, too. (My dad was stationed there)

        • From Russia with Love

          Thanks, I obviously never was.

          • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

            Just think of the island as a 34 mile long aircraft carrier

      • Timothy Watson

        Does quoting Elton John make Mike Pence uncomfortable?

        • Major_Major_Major

          Race Bannon gets all tingly in his no-no areas thinking of Sir Elton. Hopefully mother will punish him tonight. Mayhaps a tiger balm handy.

        • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

          Just because of the tingling in his pants.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Fuckedy, fuck, fuck, fuck.

    • Meccalopolis

      Ha ha, we’re all gonna die

      https://youtu.be/Kum2jugZrXI

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Red Bird

      Bernies press secretary

    • janecita

      Well, Erika is a fucking moron. I’m sorry to say it, but some people deserve to be deported.

      • Red Bird

        She thinks she’s making a play for political significance.

        • Marceline

          I guess she wants to be the next Linda Sarsour.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Give Sarsour this – she was involved in a movement that accomplished something, even if it became something bigger than she intended it to be.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        I think it’s really fucking irresponsible of her to endanger the other dreamers for Republican money, but that’s her soul. I don’t think she should be deported as a dreamer.

    • Marceline

      Whenever you see progressives showing their asses and shooting themselves in the foot, Bernie and/or Our Revolution are usually pretty close by.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Must… fight…. urge……

    • Carpe Vagenda

      Hope you weren’t attached to your ACA

      https://twitter.com/SallyAlbright/status/910101676262117376

      • janecita

        Yes, because that makes a lot of fucking sense. Is it too early to start drinking?

        • Carpe Vagenda

          Oh, it is for me. I got a last minute job in and worked until 11 last night, then started first thing this morning, and…

          Come to think of it, no, it’s not.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Morning Poem, for Patient H.M.-

    The open eye slices time into what we Remember,
    and don’t,
    moving constantly forward,
    relentless, like plastic surgery,
    changing everything that came before.
    Or not.
    All we are is what we remember
    What we remember
    We remember
    Remember
    Me

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    By his description of repressive regimes, we are one, too.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I tuned in to the UN address and lasted 4 entire words. I’ll wait for the coverage here. (Too bad they’re short staffed this week, would love a Wonkette liveblog on this)

    • ariel_gee_398
      • House0fTheBlueLights

        I’ll go there, but it’s not the same as a Wonkette liveblog! No dick jokes.

        • ariel_gee_398

          True, but it’s subtle British snark. Satisfying in its own way.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            And they’re fact-checking him as they go.

          • Ghenghis McCann

            That’s going to be fun.

        • TJ Barke

          Everything about Donnie is a tiny dick joke.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            A yuuuuge tiny dick joke….

      • therealpuredog

        They quote him as saying ‘it’s up to “us” whether the world “is lifted to new heights” or “a valley of disrepair.”’
        “Disrepair”?

    • cheetojeebus

      I did like 15 seconds. Between the Cassidy thing and this i’m at 11 on the rage scale.

  • cheetojeebus

    I think i went 15 seconds listening to the live stream from the UN. Fuck he is such a idiot!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      We applaud your intestinal fortitude.

      I for one, might, might, be able to do 15 milliseconds listening to that blighted bloviating bellowing boor.

      might…

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I get pissed at myself when I can’t hit the mute button within 2 seconds of hearing his voice on the teeveebox. I never really cared for the sound of razor blades on a chalkboard.

  • Bozilingus

    How the world sees tRump at the U.N.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waf46eBajkw

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Trump’s crappy burlesque show presiduncy.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BadKitty904

      Thanks, GOP…

  • ariel_gee_398

    Wait a tic. Rocket Man is dumb, but did he really just say we have to “totally destroy North Korea”?

    • WeaselPoo

      And he’ll make North Korea pay for it, believe him.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      yep

      • ariel_gee_398

        I mean, the Rocket Man is the roll your eyes jesus fuck bullshit part of it, but threatening to destroy a country full of people who have done fuck all but suffer under a repressive totalitarian regime is maybe what should grab all the headlines.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          And it should go without saying. A nuclear attack by N. Korea would be met in kind. Everyone knows this.

      • therealpuredog

        “May” have to.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      At some point, Kim will actually do some suicidal thing, just to stay in power. Look out, South Korea, Guam, and probably San Francisco!….

  • Bill D. Burger
    • BadKitty904

      AND its most hated traitor.

    • Weird Fishes

      Certainly the least-suited for the position.

  • BadKitty904
  • Bill D. Burger

    “Why yes…..yes they do. Welcome to reality, Einstein.”

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DKEQBcWVAAEnTI5.jpg

    • BadKitty904

      What’s not to hate, traitor?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      No shit, shitschlong.

    • foiled again

      Stopped clock, etc.

  • TJ Barke
    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Just wait until the talking heads start blathering about how “presidential” he is. Whatever you do, do not pick the word, “pivot” as your tequila shot word.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Fareed Zakaria: “Today is the day Donald Trump became President of the United States.”

        Goddamned if that doesn’t still make me wretch.

        • Major_Major_Major

          He deserves a daily cup check for the rest of his life for that steaming hot take.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          Today? Seriously? I really need to stop pretending I’m ever going to give up alcohol during this administration.

        • foiled again

          Fareed Zakaria: the food poisoning of punditry

      • JohnBull

        One hundred bucks says David Brooks will be first.

  • Timothy Watson

    Push/minus: We will be in 3 new wars by the time Trump finishes his speech at the UN.

  • janecita

    Dear Lord, he sounds just like Netanyahu!

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    From the Guardian liveblog:

    “Our country has achieved more against Isis in the last eight months,”
    says Trump, then it has in the years before combined. It’s unclear what
    measure he is using for achievement.

    lol

    • BadKitty904

      Wishful Thinking.

      • Stulexington

        And straight up delusion also too.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      It’s unclear what measure he is using for achievement.

      I think I know this one. Is it his hands?

    • WeaselPoo

      The years before combined…what, all 6,000 of them?

    • everybody trolls him all the time now.

      this is where we are now.

  • freakishlypersistent

    I heard he said welcome to New York does he think he’s hosting this thing? That they’re all there to see him like one of his rallies?

  • AJ Milne

    Man, if only Churchill had had Elton John songs to reference…

    We will fight them on the beaches, we will fight them in the trenches…

    .. ‘cos Saturday night’s all right for fighting, amirite?

    • Meccalopolis

      Like a puppy child

    • george lastrapes

      Churchill to Hitler: “Good try, jello-pricked toad…”

  • Bill D. Burger

    What a fucking embarrassment. Unbelievable. Just …. words fail.

    https://twitter.com/globalnews/status/910148861938814976

    What a goddamned idiot.

    • BadKitty904

      I can hear the General Assembly’s eyes rolling all the way down here in Florida…

    • renegade500

      Elton John should send him a Cease and Desist letter. Damn Trump, he’s ruining a great song for me.

    • aureolaborealis
  • renegade500

    Trump says we may have no choice to but destroy North Korea, and they called Hillary Clinton a war hawk. I just told my (relatively young) coworker to get his affairs in order, because he’d be in Asia in no time, but not in a good way.

    • Stulexington

      After me and my ambassador murder all the other options we may have no choice.

      • renegade500

        :-/ We’re so hosed. I mean, I’ve known we were, but it’s not as abstract as it was 9 months ago. We’re so damned hosed.

  • OutOfOrbit

    i thought this happened yesterday

    • The Wanderer

      That was the Security Council.

      • OutOfOrbit

        thx

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Dear God:

    Please let Pumpkin Spice get booed at the UN. Please. Please. Please. I promise that I’ll never ever ever ask for another thing for as long as I live.

    Thank you for your consideration.

    Ramen.

    TR

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      I want a Huuuuuuge walk out by delegates

      • eggs ackly-wright

        That would be pretty.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Happy time and uplifting. So presidential, huh?
    This really is insane, worse that I imagined he would be. He should be institutionalized.

    https://twitter.com/jeffmason1/status/910146884324528128

    That orange fucker is right up there with the looniest madmen in the world.

  • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

    Now Rafael Castro is in the crosshairs.

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      And Venezuela. We are at war with everyone now!!!!!!!

      • Major_Major_Major

        Not yet, but we will be.

    • janecita

      Raul?

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        My bad

    • redblack

      missed the shit show.

      so he’s picking on a hurricane-ravaged caribbean nation now?

      what a dick.

  • Gemz

    Applause for global woman’s UN commitment.

    Trump says “OK” and tried to blast through it.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      It wasn’t about a global women’s commitment; he specified “women entreprevnuers, which was a not so subtle cadge for donations to Baby’s little foundation.

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Morning. Coffee. Windy. Trump said something last night and is an asshole. Such as it is out in the high desert West.

    • Weird Fishes

      Another day, another dollar.

    • foiled again

      Samey-same down here in the Loathesome Desert West!

  • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

    Now badmouthing Madura’s Venezuela because socialism.

    • TJ Barke

      The fact that the Venezuelan rich are pulling a Chile is just fake news.

      • IdiokraticCulturalMarxist

        The oligarchs are the good guys where Trump is concerned.

    • my immediate thought was: the problem with venezuela is authoritarianism not socialism.

  • BadKitty904

    Can someone PLEASE just pull the plug???

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      Is he on life support?

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Ask Mueller

  • Bill D. Burger

    Here’s what “bored shitless” and “stunned by bullshit” looks like.

    https://twitter.com/jeffmason1/status/910145994997817344

    • cmd resistor

      What a crowd!

      • BadKitty904

        I’m surprised he didn’t warm ’em with a few jokes first – “So, a Mick, a Jew, and a Spick walk into this bar…

        • Arolpin

          And he can’t even do that right, the flow is a lot better if it starts, “So, a Mick, a Spick, and a Jew walk into this bar…”

    • Stulexington

      I wonder if he’s trying to wing it.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      A good third of them that I see are on their smart phones.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        Angry Birds (which sucks) is better than the shit flying out of his mouth

  • Lance Thrustwell

    North Korea ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids – in fact it’s cold as Hell.

    • ManchuCandidate

      Only the winters. Bigger problem is not much food for Major Tom, Elton or otherwise.

  • Maggielle

    Are they laughing at him now re “socialism”?

    • BadKitty904

      Why not? America is.

  • BigCSouthside

    The President of the United States is standing in front of an organization that has prevented global war for 70 years…threatening global war.

    Fuck it. Nothing matters anymore.

  • Bill D. Burger

    And he’s addressing the United Nations.
    What a fucking idiotic and humiliating embarrassment he is.

    https://twitter.com/jeffmason1/status/910144901106552832

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Fuck. We’re all gonna die because Dolt wants to launch a nuclear missile just to prove how big his fucking hands are.

    • Stulexington

      And to distract from the Russia investigation also too. And to make Kim stop making him feel weak.

      • BadKitty904

        And to distract from the Russia investigation also too.

        That’s exactly what all this is in aid of…

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        At this point, especially after this humiliation, I don’t believe anything will distract the U.S. from the investigation. We should name it something other than “the Russian” investigation though. Something peppy like “the Trumpacalypse” or “The Dumbening”.

        • redblack

          “the munchausen-by-proxy candidate.”

    • Jeffocaster in the West

      No problem the button is too small for his sausage link fingers. Although he could have Melanoma do it.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Or, you know, one of the people in the dining room whenever he decides to launch.

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      So he wants to add war crimes and genocide to the list of crimes he has committed.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        SO MUCH WINNING…

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    All together now world:
    Fuck

    This

    Guy

    • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

      Fuck

      This

      Guy

      • ltmcdies

        Fuck

        This

        Guy

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Fuck

          This

          Guy

          • The Wanderer

            Fuck

            This

            Guy

            трахать этого парня

            fuck dieser Kerl

            এই লোকটা যৌনসঙ্গম কর

            فكر كنيد اين مرد

      • Rags

        Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck
        This This This This This This This
        Guy Guy Guy Guy Guy Guy Guy
        ! ! ! ! ! ! !

      • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

        Fuck

        This

        Guy

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Fuck

        This

        Guy

        (I like this game!)

    • Stulexington

      Fuck

      This

      Guy

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Chorus: “In the eye sockets!”

    • Red Richmond

      Pedicabo guy est

    • Serai 1

      QUE SE JODA ESTE TIPO.

    • aureolaborealis

      “FUCK THAT GUY! FUCK THAT GUY!”

      https://youtu.be/hY3W9Z4bdS8

      (Warning: NSFW, trigger, etc. — Stanhope fantasizes about raping a football player.)

  • the fuck is he blathering about secret world domination organizations? he’s a fucking loon.

  • Gemz

    Trump tries to claim socialism in Venezuela is the same failed ideology that has been tried and failed every where in the world to a UN full of countries that have very very successful socialism.

    Did Bannon/Gorka write this speech on the sly?

    Major boos and no applause on that one Trump you ass!

  • georgiaburning

    Flash the red light and send out the MC, this guys minutes are up

    • Natalie Au Natural Hedonist

      And the the giant vaudeville hook!

  • Panika MCD

    I’m fine with Scottie Nell Hughes beinh blacklisted from the teevee machine, but I think it should be for the bullshit defenses of POrangeTUS as welp as yelling over other guests, not for accusing some asshole of sexual assault that comes from FEELYNews.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    “Play him off!”

  • ariel_gee_398

    I would be less embarrassed if he had just walked up to the podium, dropped trou and taken a shit.

    • BadKitty904

      He pretty much did.

  • Bill D. Burger

    He actually told them they’ve done “pretty well” since January….since he was elected.

    lmao….Oh gotta’ laugh to keep from crying.

    https://twitter.com/jeffmason1/status/910142872309190656

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/dispatches/2017/09/19/end-near-yes-stop-laughing/ i have some serious news, the world is goign to end on Sept 23. I am sure this time its going to happen, i mean its not like people have predicitng the end of the world for centuries and no one has ever gotten it right… /s

    • TJ Barke

      No one may know the hour or the day…

    • OutOfOrbit

      the world is ending right now for many in the Gulf area

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        SSDD

        • OutOfOrbit

          SSDD?

          • The Wanderer

            Same Shit, Different Day.

          • redblack

            same shit, different day.

    • Serai 1

      Wait, they’ve moved it back?

  • TJ Barke

    If this was a just world, someone would come on after Trump to explain how many ways he just lied.

    • cmd resistor

      But first, come out with one of those large staff things and drag him off the stage while talking.

  • Marceline

    Maybe some of the countries in the UN would like to funnel cash to the resistance.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • therealpuredog

      Pffft, that column is from a month ago. Maybe they’ve changed their minds.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Speech sounded better in the original German.

  • yeah asshole i’d like to take ownership of my future, but you and your fucking party keep threatening my health insurance.

  • this is almost done now right? it has to be done now right?

    i have to take the garbage out.

    • Maggielle

      Wait…okay NOW, take out the garbage, and take him with it.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      We all need to take this garbage out.

      Before it takes all of us out.

  • BadKitty904
    • The Wanderer

      Sad, yet very true.

  • Bozilingus

    Can The Hague get started on a War Crimes panel for this administration and avoid the rush?

  • Bill D. Burger

    This ‘speech’ is unhinged, totally humiliating and embarrassing for this country……and exceeded my expectations in both aspects.

    Gawwwd’ hep’ us.

  • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

    Very, very sparse applause

    • janecita

      Netanyahu and Melania applauded.

      • Magyar Has Had It Up To Here

        They just did it to keep their allowances

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    [Briefly pokes head out from under desk] Is it over yet?

    • janecita

      Just finished

  • Bill D. Burger

    Now they’re openly laughing at him . ~facepalm~

    https://twitter.com/jeffmason1/status/910151171498807296

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      If socialism was the problem, rather than authoritarianism and a one-commodity economy, that would be a pretty good joke.

  • janecita

    Well, that was fucking terrible!

    • WeaselPoo

      So he nailed it!

    • Stulexington

      I think the Trump motto from a while back applies here quite well: That could have gone better.

      • therealpuredog

        Thanks for resuscitating that!

    • mackafritz

      “Today he became the President.”

  • NastyBossetti

    The UN should really look into hiring the Apollo Theatre Executioner.

  • Gemz

    Who wrote that speech?

    Stephen Miller

    Miller has been criticized on multiple occasions for making false or unsubstantiated claims regarding public policy.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Miller_(political_advisor)

    • Bill D. Burger

      It sounded like PURE Stephen Miller….shortsighted, boastful, juvenile, inappropriate, ignorant of world affairs, myopic and stupid.

      KC would have done a much better job.

      • Serai 1

        Yeah, then it would have been shortsighted, boastful, juvenile, inappropriate, ignorant of world affairs, myopic and idiotic.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    DaFuq?:

    Trump says this is the fundamental question for the UN: "Are we still patriots?"— Daniel Dale (@ddale8) September 19, 2017

  • quantum mechanic

    “As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” ? H.L. Mencken, On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe

  • WeaselPoo

    That was The Gong Show, lacking the gong.

    • The Wanderer

      Not even the power of Jaye P. Morgan’s Tits could shield us from that tidal wave of shit.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Talk about perky!

    • Bozilingus

      His speech would have been better if he wore a paper bag over his head.
      “The Unknowing President”

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      They should have “played him out” with this:

      https://youtu.be/7CA8IDHSpnA

  • Nounverb911

    My condolences to anyone stuck in Manhattan today.
    https://twitter.com/AirlineFlyer/status/910140933185957888

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Two things:
    1. Hurry up Mueller.

    Nope, just the one thing.

  • Gemz

    “UN has great potential” says the guy with the lowest rating of any president and under grand jury investigation for treason.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Cheeto Benito should have shown up in proper attire.

    https://cdn-media.httpid.com/c202/2016/01/Benito-Trump-Mussolini.jpg

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    I think I’ll just go beat my head against a wall for a while (less painful than his “speech”).

    • Maggielle

      Have you stopped yet? Please stop. We need your brains, and not for zombies.

      • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

        :)
        being an absolute wimp about pain, I stopped long ago!

  • Nounverb911
    • Maggielle

      Well, according to some MSNBC talking heads, Nikki Haley worked on the speech with him, along with Tillerson, so turn that frown upside down, Nikki.

      • ltmcdies

        maybe he “improvised”

        • Maggielle

          I’m guessing “Rocket Man” may have been part of the improv.

    • Roadstergal

      Not half as ‘concerned’ as I looked.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Haley looks like a mom at a high school play whose child forgot his lines….

    • The Wanderer

      Not concerned. Resigned to it.

    • therealpuredog

      Wearing their Gen. Kelly faces.

    • Serai 1

      Fuck them. They wanted in on this shitshow, so now they get a ringside seat.

  • Ghenghis McCann

    Trump thanks the audience and concludes, after about 41 minutes and 20 seconds, by saying: “God bless you, god bless the nations of the world, and god bless the United States of America”.

    Shouldn’t that have been ‘God help the United States of America’?

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      If there is a god, it certainly isn’t blessing the USA. This fuck and his cultists are living proof that we are cursed to repeat history over and over again.

    • WeaselPoo

      According to God’s most voluble and wealthiest US representatives, God’s blessings seem to be confined to punishing gays with hurricanes from August to September. picking the winning sportsball team and choosing idiots and loonies for goverment positions

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Strange how all the counties in Europe that allow same-sex marriage never seem to be bothered by hurricanes. Could God’s representatives in the USA have got things wrong?

        • WeaselPoo

          God’s just lazy.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      God help us all

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Beat me to it. And I’m an atheist.

        • therealpuredog

          Even atheists have to hedge their bets in these parlous times.

    • Maggielle

      We are so gonna get smote.

  • jesterpunk
  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Next up on vote at UN: Should the UN Headquarters be moved to Moscow, Beijing or somewhere in Zambia?…

    • ltmcdies

      Montreal….they already speak French.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Anywhere they don’t speak Confefe….

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    UNGA is not the place to do your low-rent Dr Evil impression.What a colossal asshat.https://t.co/Uz5YJYVMHj— John Schindler (@20committee) September 19, 2017

  • ltmcdies

    most telling part of Trump’s remarks were the ones he didn’t make

    https://twitter.com/MalcolmNance/status/910154380514615298

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I’m sure it’s a lot more than just a pee tape.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Advice of his lawyers: Ixnay on the Ussianray….

  • Nounverb911

    He referred to UN as Rocketman in his speech…..

    https://twitter.com/markknoller/status/910155573060100096

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Nounverb911
  • OrdinaryJoe

    Trump at the UN: Jingo, bigly.

  • Nounverb911
  • ltmcdies

    It’s only 8 in the morning here and I’m already pissed and tired. Trump’s really not going to be happy til he gets to nuke something, is he?

    Later, Wonketeer……I’ll be back for drinks in the evening.

    • Nounverb911

      Hey, it’s always 5PM somewhere.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      I am rather concerned about my recent decision to stop drinking.

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    Rocket Man vs. Nuke Man

    We all lose.

    • redblack

      i think “rocket man vs. duke nuke ’em” has a nice ring to it.

      • Serai 1

        Great, let ’em duke it out in space. Say, beyond the orbit of Jupiter somewhere.

        • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

          A cage match would be funner.

  • Anna Rompage

    ‘Trump faces awkward silence at UN as his socialism joke bombs’

    ‘The f*ck is wrong with you’: Internet can’t believe Trump called Kim Jong Un ‘Rocket Man’ at UN speech’

    It sounds like that went over about as well as a loud stinky fart in church….

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Clear the pews!

    • Alan

      He thought he was making a joke?

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      “It sounds like that went over about as well as a loud stinky fart in church…”

      I’m sure he’s familiar with the sort of reaction that gets…

    • cmd resistor

      Well, remember stupid Rep. Chris Collins said those UN people were stuffed shirts, or something like that. They just don’t get a good joke.

    • The Wanderer

      “Man who fart in church must sit in own pew.”

    • thewalkindude
    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      And his “base” (fuckers!) will love it!

  • Nounverb911
  • HorseChestnut

    GET HIM OUT

    • Serai 1

      LOCK HIM UP

  • Bill D. Burger
    • The Wanderer

      From the author of Evil in Modern Thought.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Duh! You don’t criticize the people who put you in office.

    https://twitter.com/djrothkopf/status/910152597306318849

    • Roadstergal

      Because you benefit therefrom?

    • Maggielle

      I don’t know how to link tweets, duh, but this, via Malcolm Nance’s twitter thing:

      kara vallow‏
      @teenagesleuth

      Pro Tip for Tuesday Morning: Russia didn’t elect Trump because they thought he’d be good for America.

      7:40 AM – 19 Sep 2017

    • miss_grundy

      Well he can’t since he is Russia’s paid stooge.

  • Bill D. Burger

    After Trump’s UN speech more of the world thinks they are in more peril from him than anything else.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
  • Bill D. Burger

    This the the moment the Emmy music should have started to play his old orange ass off.

    https://twitter.com/NBCNews/status/910147556809752576

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      That…creature…occupies the Oval Office.

      We are well and truly fucked…

    • The Librarian

      Hmmm, well, 🤢

    • SeeTrain65

      Oh, good. Just fine.

      Anyone have a spare bomb shelter I can spend about 50 years in?

  • Nounverb911
    • The Wanderer

      He’s eyeing up that hat like he wants to fuck it.

    • Serai 1

      Elton doesn’t look too happy there, does he?

      • SDGeoff3

        “Oh, sweet jeebus, take me now!”

  • Sister Suffragette

    So, I saw Hillary last night at the Warner Theater in DC, the first stop on her book tour. The contrast between that event and Trump’s speech this morning is giving me whiplash. She was magnificent. Him . . . somewhat less so.

    Seriously, I felt so privileged to be able to go hear Hillary on this tour. I started crying when she was introduced, and by the end I felt hopeful about the future of the country for the first time in almost a year. That’s the effect she had. She really would have been a great president.

    • Sister Suffragette

      Oh, also, the book is great. I got my copy last night so am only a chapter or two into it, but really good so far.

    • Anna Rompage

      To be fair, the people who she directly speaks to are at least somewhat educated, progressive, and typically strive to create progress, where as Trump’s folks, well, they are more like a 3rd grader…

      • Maggielle

        Damn. The people who she directly speaks to are in fact the people who elected her…and then the fabric of the space-time continuum ripped open and now here we are.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        3rd Grader libelz.

    • WeaselPoo

      My $$$ contribution to her 2008 nomination campaign got me into a small (maybe 100 people) indoor ‘rally’ of hers.
      She spoke for 30 minutes on policy with numerous supporting facts with depth and ease without notes and with humor too. Just altogether competent and ‘approachable’.
      Of course we got a different excellent candidate and President instead but also a great Sec. State.

      • Serai 1

        OMG HOW AWFUL to have a candidate that knows the issues so well she can talk about them off the cuff! Such preparation is a SURE SIGN OF INCOMPETENCE!!!!!!!!!

        • aureolaborealis

          And she makes us feel like our grade-school comprehension of the world isn’t adequate. INPEACH!!

    • theblackdog

      I really wish I had been paying attention so I could catch that.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I just looked. They want $150 for tickets. $175 if I get an ADA seat. I’ll just have to use my imagination, unless they become cheaper on the resale market by 11/13, when she comes to Atlanta.

  • Bill D. Burger

    All bets are off…Time to send in Stewie and Shatner. ~boom goes the dynamite~

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oU4SBTm-Rac

    • HorseChestnut

      I really wish Shatner wasn’t a wingnut.

    • SDGeoff3

      I’ve been waiting for this.

  • An Outhouse for the résistance

    If you Hitlery fans want to hear her interview on Fresh Air its here:

    http://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/

  • Bill D. Burger
  • snow leopards! and i actually get to use the word ‘delightful’ today.

    (also, MAN the paws SO huge! the heads so tiny!)

  • TundraGrifter

    Anyone who has read any Internets comments section has seen time after time after time “socialism has never worked anywhere it has been tried.” What about those nations in Europe – oh, say Finland, Norway, Denmark, Sweden – who seem to be doing very well with strong economies, happy people, excellent health care, longevity (it has its merits) and low infant mortality, long vacations, etc., etc.? Not to mention gorgeous blondes.

    • BigCSouthside

      What I don’t get is…we already do socialism here. Basically all the things that make us a modern civilized society are paid for by socialistic means.

      • TundraGrifter

        Corporations are people too, my friend.

    • HorseChestnut

      If you ask the internet comments section, they’ll tell you all about how Sweden is violent and chaotic and dangerous, constantly being bombed and sharia’d, just a war zone. They don’t share consensus reality.

      • Roadstergal

        There are Muslim no-go zones in Sweden where you get the shit beat out of you for not wearing a niquab! I saw it on the Internet!

    • pstokk

      Sweden has capitalism in fact. But they’re not dicks about it, which makes all the difference in the world.
      As with so many things.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • miss_grundy

      He has been humiliating himself since he was born. Why stop now?

  • TundraGrifter

    Peter Matthiesson wrote a great book about searching for the snow leopards of Tibet. George Schiller also wrote a very good book about the same expedition, and it’s a rare opportunity to read two different accounts of the same event.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • The Wanderer

      Congratulations, they’re all part of the problem.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Courser_Resistance

      I’ve been crazy busy for the last few days and only now have heard about Trump threatening to turn NK into rubble.

      That’s just fabulous. I think I’ve had enough news for today and it’s not even 10 here in the Mythical Mountain Zone.

      • Maggielle

        Keep your eyes open for a nice sturdy cave in them mountains, one that’s not on top of anything nuclear, and that doesn’t have bears.

    • Serai 1

      Have you noticed how every one of his speeches is just a collection of tweets?

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

    All that was missing from this speech was Trump banging his shoe on the podium.

    • Roadstergal

      Khrushchev libel!! (Things I never fucking thought I’d say…)

    • therblig

      yeah, but he gave his shoe-tying guy the day off.

      • Maggielle

        Beat me to it, and said it better anyway.

    • redblack

      or someone throwing a shoe at him.

    • miss_grundy

      Don’t give him any ideas….

  • Courser_Resistance

    …the frantic flailing of the fuckers in IT…

    Beautiful turn of phrase, Dom.

    • Vincent Ricola

      It was poetry. Finally, someone gets me.

    • Ω cynmac’s reclaiming her time

      I was a fucker in IT, since retired and I was a project manager, tasks with identifying risks. The Engineering guys at Nextel termed these as the “scary monsters”. I have always loved this. They also referred to the guys in Marketing as “human meat” as in “a waste of…”
      Good times, good times.

  • Anna Rompage

    Did anyone else catch that Trump mentioned four things when he was talking about the three pillars of the UN mission?

    • Serai 1

      “…these five things…”

      “Three, sir.”

    • Roadstergal

      Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency…

      • Serai 1

        Somehow I don’t see Twitler as having an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.

        • Saxo the Grammarian

          “I’ll come in again.”

          SOMEBODY BOLT THE DOOR!!!!!

    • phoenix00

      Math is hard, ya know.

  • TakingAmes

    OMG, pouncing baby snow leopards are my favorite morning nice time!

  • HellhathnofuryDemme

    SQUEE!
    Paws-O-Danger!
    Scary stuff!!1!

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    Snow Leopard Kittehs!

    They’re just like Puff and Whiskers!

    If you don’t mind being eated.

  • eggs ackly-wright

    In other news, today is Twiggy’s 68th birthday.

  • miss_grundy

    Awww, baby kitties want to play and Mommy is meh…

  • Pat_Pending

    Kids these days are boring.

  • Serai 1

    You know, I was worried about spending half of my remaining $40 on a new disposable vape pen. But now, FUCK IT WE’RE GONNA DIE ANYWAY. Might as well get as wasted as I can.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/dfda6f6a2f11a515190513f554d9d227bc4a9e48d83db5baf2eedf904db0ad9d.gif
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/eac12323d13b9f2d7ca60a76cc30b5a831b028702167b30c2baa9f389ffff4f7.gif

  • andyshelt

    “Donald Trump threatens to ‘totally destroy’ North Korea in UN speech”

    Oh well, it was a nice planet while it lasted.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY
    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/sep/19/donald-trump-threatens-totally-destroy-north-korea-un-speech

  • Paperless Tiger

    I bet Hillary would give a really inspiring speech at the UN instead of whining like a little bitch.

  • starfanglednut
  • whitroth

    How could you have missed the most Important detail about today: arrrgh, mateys, it’s Talk Like A Pirate Day! Here, I’ll get you in the mood: arrrrgh, I’m a pirate, and I have HUUUUUUGGGEEEE HANDS to steal all your money!

    See? Wasn’t that easy?

  • capnkrunch

    Why have big/medium cats not been domesticated? I can get a dog that looks very similar to a wolf; in fact, I have a husky that looks like a wolf* (a stuffed animal wolf but a wolf nonetheless). But despite how much I would like to, I can’t get a cat that looks like a snow leopard or a lynx.

    *She is actually barely part wolf. 1/8th or 1/16th, I forgot. Also, she’s more beautiful than your dog and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

  • Amelia Resists and Persists

    Kids these days are less interested in fucking, fighting, drinking, and driving because they’re all busy reading Harry Potter and climbing mountains.

    As an asexual without a driver’s license who hates the taste of alcohol, I can confirm this statement. Though I do not climb mountains.

  • that has people worried that Trump’s war on the press has dragged in the Pentagon’s top brass.

    Actually, I am sorta wondering if the Military’s hate of the press got whispered in Donnie’s ear

  • Ill-Advised

    The slo-mo snow leopards are the bestest Nice Time EVAH. Thank you, Dominic (or whoever found that! :-)

  • phoenix00

    Hasn’t OSX Snow Leopard been retired already?

  • MarciaCAdkisson

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
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