SHARE
Surely this will impress Vladimir

Donald Trump may be an idiot, but once he seizes on a really stupid idea, he certainly won’t let it go — so he’s a consistent idiot, too. Take for example military parades: He wanted a bunch of tanks rolling around Washington DC for his inauguration, but had to settle for tractors, and that’s just not good enough. So nobody should be surprised the idea is still animating what passes for his mind. While appearing with French president Emmanuel Macron, Trump couldn’t stop yammering about how much he wants to do a military parade that would put France’s Bastille Day festivities to shame:

You see, he was really impressed by how well France (Not Russia! Not North Korea! You’re the parade!) puts on a great big public display of the defense budget:

“I was your guest at Bastille Day, and it was one of the greatest parades I’ve ever seen,” Trump told Macron, who sat next to him. “It was two hours on the button, and it was military might and, I think, a tremendous thing for France and the spirit of France.”

“To a large extent because of what I witnessed, we may do something like that on July Fourth in Washington down Pennsylvania Avenue,” Trump said.

And it was France, so you can’t say it sounds totalitarian, now can you?

Emails obtained by HuffPo in March showed that despite denials from Team Trump, inauguration staff really had asked the Pentagon to show them a catalog of neato military hardware that could be rolled out to show that Donald Trump really loves him some tanks, so everyone will forget he was a draft-dodging chickenhawk who considered the struggle to not get herpes while sleeping around his “personal Vietnam.”

Ultimately, the hopes for a big military parade came to nothing, although there was supposed to be a flyover of military aircraft. The flyovers were cancelled due to lousy weather, despite Mr. Trump’s assurances that when he talked about it later, he’d say the rain stopped, the sun shone, and the biggest inauguration crowd in history watched in amazement as our beautiful planes flew over, each in a ray of sunlight sent by God.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Click right here to send us money, and we’ll get up a parade in the old barn.

[WaPo / HuffPo]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Next he’s going to start opting to wear a military uniform.

    • Stulexington

      One with those big tassely shoulder pads.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Sheriff Clarke can loan him some ribbons and medals.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Dammit! That wuz gonna be my comment. Anyway, I think it’ll start with a few medals…

    • Nounverb911
      • Crystalclear12

        That was funnier in October of 2016.

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Needs moar gold. And medals. See the former sheriff Clarke for some used ones.
        (Edit: Sorry. Should have read down, Urbandale.)

      • georgiaburning

        Can he get me a cab?

        • wait! what?

          Tickets to “Cats,” maybe…

        • Bozilingus

          How about a nice merlot instead?

          • georgiaburning
    • Timothy Watson

      As soon as they find one in a size that fits him.

    • georgiaburning

      One of those puffed up North Korean-style generals’ hats, too. But, an inch higher than any of theirs.

      • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

        Padded gloves also too.

    • FlownΩver

      What’s the over/under on how soon he creates – and awards himself – the Order of the Bigly Greatest Golden Fingers, with Pussgrab Cluster?

  • Crystalclear12

    You got to admire his continued resistance to being normalized.

    • Joe Beese

      Never surrender.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I thought part of the problem was the Penna Ave is not strong enough for military vehicles. Maybe Mexico will pay to have it upgraded.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      That’s what the lamestream media told us last winter. I’m not buying it, because if the DC streets can handle the weight of Dolt 45’s fat ass, tanks should not be a problem.

    • Joe Beese

      The interstate highway system was built with the possibility of tank transport in mind. Washington DC streets probably not.

    • WIDTAP

      Well. If you had a new hotel on a popular avenue, but you were looking for a way to upgrade the street without having to pay new assessments, what might you do?

  • Nounverb911
  • Joe Beese

    I’m completely in favor of this. Seriously.

    A parade of M1 tanks down Pennsylvania Avenue would be inspiring to many, revolting to many others, but it would be the truth of what we are.

    It would be our Naked Lunch: “a frozen moment when everyone sees what is on the end of every fork”.

    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Beautifully put.

      The veneer of American civility has been stripped away by this so-called presidency. The Senate just passed a $700 Billion defense bill; we’re armed, we’re crazy, we’re willfully stupid, and the Dominionists are now in charge of the nukes.

      Fear us, bigly.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I can’t handle the truth!

  • Wuulf

    Biggest medal on his uniform will be Order of the Bone Spurs.

    • Bright Bart

      royal order of pussy grabbin

  • Creepoman

    ” . . .do something like that on July Fourth in Washington down Pennsylvania Avenue.”

    I was hoping for something more peaceful, but I guess this is one way to extract the fucker from the White House.

  • Scooby

    I thought that if France does it, it’s socialism?

  • Dudleydidwrong

    If the bankruptcy doesn’t destroy them, Toys Backward R Us might have some plastic soldiers, tanks, field artillery, and a few dashing men on horseback with swords that the First Lunatic can play with. Is there a GoFundMe account for toys for the White House?

    • SweetDeeKat

      I have a yuuge Nerf gun arsenal at my house, courtesy of the offspring. I’d be willing to make the sacrifice.

  • Michael R

    More fun with Fascism :

    You are obsessed with national power and pride and believe your country doesn’t have to follow the rules and shouldn’t ever apologize for doing things that are wrong. You think your nation can do whatever it wants without criticism or consequence.

    • Christopher Story

      Sounds like a Trump supporter to me. Oh God, we really are all gonna die.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Considering, the end will be by Trump’s tiny hand, it will not be quick.

        But it will be messy.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Did Trump really say “Rocket Man” in front of the UNGA?

  • CripesAmighty

    Huh. The brass were able to put the kibosh his last attempted Hitler Hootenanny, one presumes, cuz he wasn’t c-in-c yet. wonder how they’re gonna avoid an embarrassing Moscow March this time.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Will there be a military parade in Washington next Fourth of July? I doubt it, but if there is, I will happily send a postcard to Trump in Leavenworth letting him know.

  • Gemz
  • P’jama Pahnts

    A military parade followed by public executions. Sure, why not!

  • Angela Ruzzo

    The French military has such a tremendous reputation, what a good idea to copy their idea of a parade. Their underground Resistance movements, on the other hand, DO have a tremendous reputation, maybe we should copy that instead?

  • Nounverb911

    Enjoy, all two hours of it….

    https://youtu.be/PzPvhrh7gLM

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I’d love to see a bunch of military guys in neat, tidy formations like this one suddenly start doing all those fancy moves that college football marching bands do at halftime. That would be so cool.

      • wait! what?
        • Angela Ruzzo

          Love that. Puts paid to the old saying “White Men Can’t Dance.”

      • Nounverb911

        I was a member of this in 1971.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_U3JmKTU10

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Pretty cool. I’d like to see them try Synchronized Swimming, I bet they’d win a medal. I tried to talk my high school administrators to create a “Marching Orchestra” when I was in high school, because I played in the orchestra and I thought it was grossly unfair that the Band got to march in parades and play at football halftimes, and the orchestra didn’t, but they weren’t at all keen on the idea. We could have done it…all we had to do was figure out how to handle the cellos. My idea was heavy-duty casters attached to the cello endpins, but they pooh-poohed that idea. I bet it would have worked if we could have experimented with it.

  • Randy Riddle

    When Trump is impeached, I’m sure he will offer to be the President of North Korea.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The Secret Service breathes a sigh of relief that they ran out of money. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8b92de35049c31f11af085e5e2acba4345b5b5258140ac408769b3213ddd42c2.jpg

    • georgiaburning

      Those stuck in mothballs someplace? Or did Disney buy them back?

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        Donated to Southern Utah marching band in 1980.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      Elvis is on the job!

    • TundraGrifter

      The opera ain’t over til the fat lady sings.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Sooee Huckleberry?

        Or Christina Christie in drag?

  • cmd resistor

    Well I am just glad he used his public time with Macron to focus on the real issues facing the world and all.

  • georgiaburning

    Rolling tanks up to the President’s house? That’s usually Act 1 of the revolution

  • My dermatologist blames “a ray of sunlight sent by God” for those spots she carved out of me last year.

  • TJ Barke

    How long til he declares himself Emperor Trumpatus I?

    • FlownΩver

      He won’t be satisfied until he can crush his enemies (AOU,K), see them driven before him and hear the lamentations of their women.

      We can only hope Crom has other plans in store.

  • Gemz

    I bet there will be a yuge parade when Trump is finally out of office.

    It may last for weeks!

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I keep dancing shoes by the door for that moment.

  • SweetDeeKat

    They should have just lined up a shitload of combine harvesters, like every great Iowa small town parade ever. Cheeto wouldn’t have know the difference.

    • Old town Urbandale

      Hey, we also every fire truck and EMT unit in our parades. Donnie would love the sirens.

      • SweetDeeKat

        My kids always loved the road maintenance equipment.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        In a small town in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, an outbuilding of a cottage on one of the islands (summer home stuff) caught fire during the Fourth of July parade. The volunteer fire department was already out on the street. They got there real fast. Disrupted the parade a bit.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    To a large extent because of what I witnessed…

    What a dumb person thinks a smart person sounds like.

  • Bright Bart

    i do want to see that uniform. gold lame please

    • FlownΩver

      Gold and lame, for sure.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        It would look like Homer’s uniform in The Simpsons Movie.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Needz moar circus animals,

  • VirginiaWackelpudding

    Long lines of hearses will be more fitting with the current regime, n’est pas?

    • A long line of prisoner transport buses would be more fitting… and probable.

      • Rags

        10,000 gurneys

  • Oblios_Cap

    Sadat had a military parade, too. His last one. Just sayin’…

    • Cogswell – In a Mirror, Darkly

      I remember an old joke about that…

      Q: What is Anwar Sadat’s favorite song?
      A: I love a parade.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I can’t be the first to wonder if Little Babby Donnie’s secret wish is to be a real live Bond villain.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    After he starts WWIII, you can be sure this will happen…

  • marxalot

    Head deask dot exe has crashed (again). Abort, Retry, Fail?

    • Parakeetist

      Help

  • BigCSouthside

    Next he’ll watch a WWII documentary and want book burnings on the White House lawn

  • Daniel

    You know who else had massive military parades through France?

    • weejee

      Wellington?

    • Nounverb911
      • Daniel

        OK. OK.

        Do you know who else, amongst several democratic leaders, had military parades through France?

        • The Wanderer

          Pompidou?

          • Daniel

            I’ll come in again.

        • georgiaburning

          Woodrow Wilson?

    • marxalot

      The Tsar?

    • The Wanderer

      Generaloberst Alexander von Kluck?

    • Marsupial99

      Jerry Lewis?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Pepe le pew?

  • Michael R
  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    What could possibly go wrong?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SO9rJtNtmqc

    • Rags

      Sounds like a plan

  • Gussie Jives

    Did this guy just not get enough G.I. Joe action figures when he was a kid? Don, you’ve been an adult for half a century, just have Jared go to Walmart and get you the latest Cobra play set and leave the kids in uniform alone.

  • Ricky Gay

    Couldn’t they have at least sent some Privates to dig a latrine?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’m extremely reluctant to produce an improvised list of military vehicles that we might be held to

    How about a guillotine*?

    * OK OK, with votes that conform to the outdated electoral college system FFS

    • georgiaburning

      The French have one they’re not using

  • goonemeritus

    Isn’t this how 9 out of 10 military coups start?

    • TundraGrifter

      “Mr. President – The boys and I have gotten together and we’d like to have a big parade for your birthday! Bring in units from around the country, plenty of tanks and mobile artillery, it will be a great event…”

  • Angela Ruzzo

    I apologize for going OT, but I am deeply confused about a perplexing mystery. I realize this is not an advice column for homeowner repairs, but here goes…I have an open plan house, the kitchen is open to the family room, and the rooms are both 24′ wide. Exactly between the two rooms, on the ceiling, there has been for the past 8 years a 4′ long hairline crack in the ceiling finish where the drywall tape has separated slightly from the drywall joint beneath it. I have been meaning to have it fixed, but no money. It is not structural, just cosmetic, according to 2 contractors who looked at it. Today I looked at it again. It is gone. Vanished. Desaparecido! I got on a step stool and looked more closely and I can’t even find it. How could this happen? Is it a miracle?

    • marxalot

      House shifted. What kinda foundation you got?
      Or: one of the contractors ran a lick of paint up there while you weren’t looking.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’ve got a 4-1/2″ deep concrete crawlspace. Both contractors said it is not due to shifting, but that was a year ago. We did have a tremendous thunderstorm yesterday…lasted all day, on and off, so maybe humidity???

        • marxalot

          Yeah, humidity would cause all the joints to swell, so that would do it. It may be back in drier times.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Who or what do you hire to work in that 4-1/2″crawlspace?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You would be surprised. Every contractor or utility person I’ve ever hired simply raved about my spacious crawl space, which they said was the best-built, cleanest crawl space they ever saw, with fairly good access through a large window in the foundation. The cable guy, who was very short, said he could almost stand up down there, and there is good ventilation all around the foundation. But there are these huge black hairy (harmless) spiders living down there, so I never go down there myself, as I hate spiders.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            I figured it was more like a 4-1/4′ crawl space. Just ribbing you on the 4-1/2″.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I actually had a plumber measure it for me, LOL. I was curious, because half a dozen installers or repair people have commented on what a nice, clean crawl space it is. The satellite TV guy was practically euphoric about it, as was the duct cleaning company, which makes me wonder what kind of awful places they normally have to work in. I had no idea people get so excited about crawl spaces!!!

    • Nounverb911

      Earthquake?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I do live about 275 miles from the New Madrid Earthquake Zone, but no reports of any tremors yesterday. Of course, they don’t always tell us about them, in fact they generally lie about it.

        • PubOption

          There was a minor quake in southern Illinois yesterday.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I was living right on the Quake line back in 1988, and one day I was sitting in my living room reading a book, it was a very quiet summer day, and suddenly all the dishes in the cabinets started rattling. I put my hand on them, they stopped rattling, I took my hand off, they started rattling again. This lasted about a minute. I called the New Madrid Earthquake Resource Center and they said “Nope, no earthquake today, must have been a sonic boom.” A week later they admitted in the newspaper that there had been a major tremor that day. Now, I don’t trust a word they say.

    • Rags

      Weather – do you have humidity control in your house? Summer is higher humidity; things expand, like the wood on either side of the crack, squeezing it shut again.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I thought about that, but here in Missouri we have tremendous humidity every summer, and for the past 8 years this has had no impact on the crack. We did, however, have thunderstorms yesterday, all day long, on and off, but we get those all the time, and this never happened before.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Expansion/contraction – wait for it. It’ll be back when it cools down or gets drier. Short of putting a second layer of drywall over the entire ceiling, there are no certain fixes. Sorry….

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Both contractors said there was no easy fix…would have to strip off all the ceiling finish in both rooms, then reapply it, to get a fix that wouldn’t be noticeable. They said don’t worry about it. But it drives me crazy to see that crack in the ceiling. The world is falling apart and I have a crack in my ceiling…for some reason the two things get connected in my psyche. See how I managed to get back on topic, LOL?

        • Toomush_Inferesistance

          The centre cannot hold….look: putting a second layer of drywall is cheaper than replacing the ceiling, structurally reinforces the ceiling, makes it less permeable (fewer holes) and, therefore, more energy-efficient and quieter. Not as cheap as living with it…. (fifty years in the home repair trade)…

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I would love to do that…thanks for your advice…but I have cathedral ceilings in those two rooms, which would mean drywall covering a 24′ x 50′ area. This would be too expensive for me.

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Mesh two feet wide over the crack area, with mud might work, but I’m not a betting man…

          • PubOption

            I have a similar issue in my house. I sprayed a rubberised compound over the crack when it was open, and then painted over. Now when the crack closes the rubber forms a slight knife edge along the crack line, it is less noticeable than the crack, but still noticeable.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            You are correct, thanks for the good advice…that’s what the two contractors told me. The problem is no money, as I live on SSDI. Maybe when I get the mortgage paid off next year I can start saving for this. I am counting the days, believe me.

        • Rebel Scum with permit

          I lived in a house for years that had settled a few inches on one side. You could actually see it. However, the house was 90 years old, and I figured that in another 90 years, it might be a problem. I had no trouble selling the place, and it’s changed hands at least once since then.

    • darnyoudarnyoutoheck

      Shhh, browies and other helpful fae don’t like being acknowledged. Leave out a bowl of milk.

      • Arolpin

        Of if it’s Pictsies, leave some Whisky out and don’t get in their way.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Lay off the acid, maybe? I kid, I kid! I wish I had a self-repairing house!

    • MynameisBlarney

      Magic.
      Totes.

    • TundraGrifter

      We had a Victorian home that was repainted. Thick plaster walls that had cracked in a few places after a hundred years or so. The gentlemen spread mud over the cracks, covered them with large plastic mesh pieces, remudded, smoothed, and then painted. Same with drywall cracks. It looked great when it was done! If you want to save money you could probably hire an expert to spread the mud and lay in the mesh (it’s an art – boy they sure made it look easy!) and then paint it yourself.

    • SweetDeeKat

      It rained. Seriously. I had a similar problem that I patched poorly, then had to put piers under the house, then had a very wet summer. Now my patch is peeling off in a disgusting manner and the crack is gone. So much for being proactive.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        That’s kinda what the contractor’s said. They said just leave it alone and ignore it because patching it won’t work over time. Since they were cheating themselves out of a lot of money, I believed them.

    • Covfefe

      Blessed Virgin. You’ve been praying again, right?

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I’ve been praying that my cat Isabelle would stop throwing up on the bedroom carpet, but other than that, no. I gave up praying in 1980. Jeeze, I just thought…our country started going to hell in the early 80’s, maybe it’s my fault?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Expansion or movement of the underlying drywall panels could conceivably close up the crack. Odds are against them settling down permanently in this new, improved orientation, but enjoy it while you can.
      If the crack is just the tape lifting from the surface, I’d consider trying to glue it back down. Apply just a drop of a non-viscous glue, like superglue or diluted Elmer’s, and let capillary action pull it in. Wiping off any excess will leave a mark, so tiny drops and no wiping.
      If you can locate the crack, now would be the perfect time to apply glue – there’s no need to hold down the tape, which would be a challenge in that location.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I have been thinking about using small amounts of glue for years, so thanks for the detailed advice. It has been 4 hours since the gap closed, and it is already visible again in part. The crack is perfectly straight – obviously the line of the drywall tape if you line it up with the two very narrow side walls that separate the kitchen from the living room visually. This is a modular house – and this is the line where the two rectangular modules were joined together.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          Hoo boy . . . that’s a joint that’s going to keep moving, especially with all the little quakes and shakes in your region. One part of the house goes this way, the other part goes that way, and when they settle back down, you have a crack.
          If it really bothered me, I’d do what my father did, and put up some decorative “beams” that just happen to cover the joint. (He had an addition to the house that wasn’t on the foundation, but sat on its own pilings, and a similar problem with walls and ceilings that tried to span the join.)
          I ought to invent a rubbery tape for problem joints like these.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’ve often wondered why they don’t have a “rubbery tape” for major joints like this one. Also, considering the humidity we get in this part of the country, paper tape might not be the best idea. Is mesh tape more flexible than paper tape? It isn’t as far as I can tell, but I am definitely not an expert in this area. The square footage of the two open-plan rooms is very large, in fact when I put down laminate flooring, the installer did not leave expansion gaps where he should have, and the floor began to buckle immediately in three places because it was summer and very humid, so he had to come back and fix that.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            The mesh is usually nylon or fiberglass – very strong stuff that resists tearing. Paper tape is a little more prone to tearing, but both are equally susceptible to bending or buckling under compression. The thin veneer of spackle or joint compound that they put over the joint is what usually cracks.

            In your case, if the crack really lies along the edge of the tape, it sounds like the thin layer of compound covering the joint gave way along the line where the tape’s reinforcement ends. That calls for the tape to have come loose from the wallboard, which means a whole lot of surface area had to let go. I think there had to be some defect in the installation for that to happen. (I can imagine somebody applying a layer of half-hardened compound rather than going down the ladder for a fresh batch.)

            It’s possible to rip off the old tape and re-do the joint, but you’ll have to repaint the whole ceiling – or at least the entire plane surface where the repair was made. (Slight differences from a decent paint match won’t be detectable if the transition to the old paint lies along a line where different planes meet, because your eyes expect a change in tone.) That shouldn’t cost too much; my only reservation there is that the cause of the cracking isn’t being addressed, and the new joint stands a chance of also cracking. That depends on the forces at work, and how well they’re being absorbed by the rest of the structure.

            If you have homeowners insurance, it might help pay for repairs, if you can convince them that a documented quake caused the damage. Take, and date, pictures of the crack and the fix. Most insurance companies let you upload pictures and other bits of evidence, and it’s an excellent way to document the current condition of the house. You’ll be in better posittion to file a claim if the repaired ceiling cracks again.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I can tell the crack is at the edge of the tape, because it is perfectly straight, and exactly where the two “modules” in this modular house were joined together by the installers plus about 1″ to allow for the tape over the joint. If it wasn’t an open plan layout, there would be a wall there, with doors, and this would hide any little mistakes the installers made. I don’t know how they join the modules together, it must require a bit more attention than simply mudding over a vertical joint between 2 pieces of drywall, but maybe I’m wrong. If this was a double-wide manufactured house, they would cover the ceiling joint with what I believe are called “zip strips” to allow for expansion, but they want modular homes to look exactly like site-built homes inside, so they don’t use them.

            I hadn’t thought of adding a decorative wooden beam, that could be appealing.

  • Bill D. Burger

    ot…but interesting:

    [Senate Abruptly Cancels Meeting With Trump Lawyer Michael Cohen
    by MIKE MEMOLI, KEN DILANIAN and CAROL E. LEE
    9/19/2017
    WASHINGTON — Senate investigators probing Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election cancelled a Tuesday interview with longtime Trump lawyer Michael Cohen because they believe Cohen broke an agreement by speaking with the media.

    The committee will now subpoena Cohen, a source with direct knowledge of the matter told NBC News.]
    https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-lawyer-cohen-answer-senate-questions-about-russia-n802321

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Just so long as they put the fucker under oath. He’s gonna lie, and I want it to matter.

  • CaliCheeseSucks
    • Parakeetist

      Amen.

  • The Wanderer

    He’ll have to settle for a mass march of 500 Juggalos.

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Some guys have weird-ass fetishes. I have no doubt the Pentagon has more important things to focus on, though, than getting Donnie off.

    • OrG

      Their job is killing people.

      • TJ Barke

        Promoting western corporate hegemony is a messy business.

  • marxalot

    The Wig had his chance to wear a uniform and watch convoys of military hardware roll by. He declined to attend. He doesn’t get the Macy’s Day version now.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      I made myself lol when I imagined the Macy’s version, with inflated missile and tank balloons being carried down the street.
      I wonder if there’s a way to make that happen.

    • Marion in Savannah

      You sound like a New Yorker — we always used to call it the Macy’s Day Parade!

  • Jeffocaster in the West

    Since he became Commander-In-Chief, he has requested a General’s uniform to appear in public. And a personal portable nuke weapon. He wants to one up the NK guy. And, a better haircut. sick puppy…….

    • Rags

      the day he shows up in uniform is the day martial law is declared and the MSM is shut down.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Maybe he can snag one of Idi Amin’s old outfits on eBay.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Tanks but no tanks.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Ceaușescu, who was actually relatively lax, as far as ruthless dictators go, that is until he went to North Korea, and he was so impressed by Kim Il Sung’s control of his people and his parades that he wanted to recreate that power and pomp in Romania.

    Look how well that turned out.

    • SDGeoff3

      Turned out quite well for Romania.

      • Rick Hill

        Pffft! As if that’s even a country. We all know it’s the capital of Italia.

        • SDGeoff3

          Chuckle. How true!

    • JohnBull

      No abortion, stringent obedience to the state, militaristic police, shredding of public sector safety nets, and the top 1% got everything.
      That’s pretty much the Republican platform.

      • Werewolf

        Shitty healthcare too, also. Romania under Ceausescu had a truly horrifying number of AIDS cases, including kids.

  • Bub, the cynical zombie
    • Bill D. Burger

      And in Turnip, the projection and compensating are epic, breathtaking….YOOOGE’ I dare say.

    • Rick Hill

      At least Hitler wore a uniform and saw combat…Wait, what?

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Pretty horrifying when you realize you can draw many parallels between Hitler and a sitting U.S. president – and the president often comes off worse.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          And that he hasn’t caused as many deaths seems due to lack of opportunity, so far.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            He may yet exceed Hitler there too, goddamn him.

        • OneYieldRegular

          Trump doesn’t even know how to draw.

      • Covfefe

        You lose points for making me break Godwin’s Law, but yes, Hitler wore an Austro Hungarian uniform, during WWI, saw combat, rose to the rank of corporal and got the equivalent of a Purple Heart, and not for bone spurs.

        • Werewolf

          He was actually in the German Army (moved to Bavaria from Austria), and didn’t only get a wound commendation, but the Iron Cross for bravery as well.

  • MasRioBravoHombre

    Tanks work as penis substitutes even better than AR-15’s.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Carpe Vagenda
  • UncleTravelingMatt

    This makes me think of a town I used to live in. Nothing says “welcome” quite like artillery.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/83b90f64a2958fef572a07c26050fa44c547ebe16fc14bbd20334e513b5bb6c9.jpg

    • Meccalopolis

      Was it dahlgren? Lived in colonial beach one summer thought we were under attack first time I heard it

    • Vincent Ricola

      We had one of those in my small childhood town too. We used to climb on it and hang upside down on it like it was a random piece of playground equipment. So fucking weird.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        This one is just as you drive in to town. To the right (just out of frame) is the sign that says “Orofino Welcomes You.”

  • jesterpunk

    I have a feeling I am going to be using this gif a lot with Turnip.

    https://media.tenor.com/images/9b44e0c7474f6888b2f9df51388f6d83/tenor.gif

  • Bill D. Burger

    Goosebumps! Imagine em’ crossing the Potomac and turning to head down Penn. Ave.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68b21282c83238e94ebcedae9e8d4c4699cbe871876d9a68bce13a25ca344019.gif

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      It so happens that that is a Russian tank, btw. BT-7, I think.

      • Bill D. Burger

        So you’re saying it’s perfect for Trump’s parade! ;)

      • WeaselPoo

        And then the murders began.

    • foiled again

      Whoah! That is one crafty tank!

  • Anna Rompage

    Sweet little jeebus trying to get a sneaky peek up Eve’s skirt….

    I wonder how much it would cost to send 10,000s of soldiers, and 100s of pieces of armaments to D.C for a one day festive of “military might”?

    • Three Finger Salute

      Well, at least we wouldn’t be wasting it on giving smelly poors and slutty gays healthcare.

  • Bozilingus

    Instead of the military marching, why not have all those police departments with the military gear come to Washington and prance march around?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25Qhbdijv5Y

    • Gussie Jives

      “SQUAD! CAMP IT.. UP!”

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Fabulous idea! That way Dear Leader can have his parade and invasions, too!

  • Rick Hill

    Why does this give me the mental image of trump doing Stallone doing Judge Dredd?

  • SDGeoff3
    • Three Finger Salute

      (Insert Yakety Sax audio here)

      • SDGeoff3

        Really! That is all it needs!

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

      Much needed chuckles.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • SomeBigRedDog

      and bitch about how everyone else is doing their jobs.

      • MynameisBlarney

        It’s those goddamned invasive fire ants!
        They terkerjerbs!

    • Jgb979

      Ant middle management

      • TJ Barke

        Spare labor capacity.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      And discuss Game of Thrones episodes. They has a sad because the season is over.

      • MynameisBlarney

        They better not drop any spoilers!!

    • The Wanderer

      So, average state road crew, then.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Crush them. They’re takers. Decrease the surplus population.” -Paul Ryan

    • Rick Hill

      “Here. just grab a piece of sand and walk like you’re going somewhere in a hurry. Works everytime”

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    “We don’t need no steenking facts!”
    Trump Administration Rejects Study Showing Positive Impact of Refugees

    Especially facts that contradict the propaganda Il Douche uses to keep the Trumpanzees howling.

    • Three Finger Salute

      “OK fine, your loss is our gain. Low energy, eh?” -Trudeau

  • Bill D. Burger

    In all seriousness, remember when the Pentagon cringed when the Trumpanzzes’ inquired about adding military hardware in the inaugural parade? They pointed out our history of civilian control of the military and scoffed at the idea of putting equipment on display. They also warned of enormous damage it could do the roads, and that the logistics would be a nightmare.

    So, naturally Cheetolini wants it NOW.

  • Jgb979

    No matter how many giant missles you straddle to show what a big strong manly boy you are:

    You still have teensy tiny itsy wittsy baby…….”hands” Donnie j

  • foiled again

    The bigger the military parade, the smaller the penis.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Tanks with Truck Nutz. God Bless America™.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    He only wants a military parade because Melania and Ivanka really, really want one. So, tanks for the mammaries.

    • Crystalclear12

      Had to walk a bit for that pun but worth effort.

      • Rags

        Breast one of the day (so far).

        • Querolous

          I agree. Tits the best (so far).

    • Three Finger Salute

      This ain’t a scene. It’s a covfefe arms race.

  • Crystalclear12

    Remember when we thought Bush II: The Bushening was rock bottom?
    Good times. . .

    • jesterpunk

      The GOP did take 1 thing from Shrub.

      “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”

    • HorseChestnut

      I hope this is rock bottom, or we hit it soon. I never want to see a president worse than Trump.

  • proudgrampa

    He is such a sad clown.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Pfft. Not even an original reboot, just a cheap American Russian knockoff of a North Korean Z-movie. Low energy. Losing. Sad.

    Now, you know who really knows how to do a parade?

    http://i.huffpost.com/gen/4479344/thumbs/o-JUSTIN-TRUDEAU-PRIDE-PARADE-570.jpg

    Needs moar cannabis-engine smoke-stack pickup trucks “rolling coal weed” and pumping rainbow smog into the air. Also, instead of fighter jets, shirtless Mounties riding pegacorns. Rainbow-striped zebra pegacorns. No nukes. Glitterbombs. Because it’s 2017.

  • Mpeg

    Lieutenant Scheisskopf approves. As long as cadets march flawlessly in formation, and as long as his squadron wins~https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKcFyCn-SyE

  • JohnBull

    What was that??? He liked something….about France!?

    • Rick Hill

      Give it a minute, it’ll change

    • Three Finger Salute

      ‘Course he loves France. He’s with his kind. Didn’t Charles de Gaulle say something about a nation with 100 kinds of cheese?

  • Rick Hill

    “What? I can’t have tanks because they destroy the roads and you want to send me Patriot missile trucks? But those look like boxes. I want big, pointy, mean looking missiles and rockets. Show the world who they’re dealing with when they cross donald trump.”

    • Three Finger Salute

      He wants the Patriots in the Patriot missiles. Even the NFL isn’t that level of douchey macho.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    The Art of the Deal:

    Trump: “I want tanks, and missile launchers, and thousands of elite military troops in full dress uniform marching down Pennsylvania Avenue!”

    Military: “Nope. It’s dangerous, it will cost a fortune, and it’s a logistical nightmare. You can have one uniformed Marine doing a ceremonial salute.”

    Trump: “OK”.

  • Anna Rompage
    • Rebel Scum with permit

      He’s doing that thing with the used car dealer hand gestures. That makes me feel stabby.

      • Three Finger Salute

        They couldn’t get a legit sign language interpreter. So Donnie told the crowd what his approval rating is.

        https://i.ytimg.com/vi/aavKjqAkhyI/hqdefault.jpg

        • Rags

          White Power….

          • Three Finger Salute

            Very, very tiny “power”.

        • foiled again

          “How many ideas in my tiny brain? That’s how many”

          • Three Finger Salute

            He thinks approval ratings are like golf scores, the lower the better. Eventually he’ll have negative infinity and declare the bigliest victory ever.

        • Kgprophet

          Yes, it’s that small.

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        Used car dealer LIBELZ!!!!1!!!!1!!!

    • The Wanderer

      I’ll accept “flaming sack of dog poop” as a new characterization of The Orange Ass.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    there’s some advanced diplomacy at work today:
    https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/910101538336583680

    • Oblios_Cap

      Christ, he’s an embarrassment.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Poor fool. It’s the only thing he’s good at.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        reread that in the voice of a 1st grader at the breakfast table, responding to, “what are you going to do at school today?”

        It totally works.

    • jesterpunk
      • Three Finger Salute

        I thnk nano- is even smaller than milli-, isn’t it?

        • Roadstergal

          Pico, Angstrom…

          • Three Finger Salute

            Infinitesimal decimal.

        • jesterpunk

          Yeah pretty sure it is.

        • JMP

          Nano? Milli? Please, he can’t even go a single Plank time, ~5.39 × 10^−44 seconds, the smallest amount of time that can exist according to the laws of physics, without embarrassing the country.

    • You know who else was “tricky”?

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        the mutual philosophical objections of the U.S. and the Soviets?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Many people — smart people, the best, really tremendous people — are saying that the Nations have never been more United than they are after my Big speech. Believe me.

      • Roadstergal

        He definitely united many nations in their contempt.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      speaking of which, per Raw Story:

      “The problem in Venezuela is not that socialism has been poorly implemented, but that socialism has been faithfully implemented,” he added.

      Trump again paused, expecting another applause. But he had to wait roughly four seconds before receiving a tepid response.”

      • jesterpunk

        So how does that explain coal country and Detroit that all went to shit once their single industry went away?

        • Raan

          Why, blacks and welfare fraud 9/11, of course.

          • jesterpunk

            I think Hillary and Ben Ghazi might have sent an email about it too.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        Applause lines at a UN speech where applause is normally rare because it isn’t that type of venue. Hay-Suess Crisco – he’s such a douche.

      • Rebel Scum with permit

        I don’t want to come down on the side of this shitty, stupid, disingenuous liar, who wouldn’t know socialism if it punched him in the nose, and would be happy to do business with a socialist country if he could turn a profit. However, it seems like the most successful socialist systems are those where government leaves the means of production in private hands, sets reasonable rules, and takes care of the general welfare.

        • HorseChestnut

          Commie.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Socialism does promote the private sector. Except “private sector” in this case is a shared group of ordinary people (a worker cooperative, or union) instead of powerful, consolidated corporations who end up lobbying the government to protect them from having to be accountable to the ordinary people. What America has is soft fascism. Mussolini defined it as the merger of corporations with government. The only difference is that we don’t have a single dictator (not yet, anyway). You can’t have capitalism without socialism, otherwise you get fascism.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “Bork bork bork, go bork yerself” -Scandinavia

        “Christ, it’s this hoser again” -Justin Trudeau (or his ambassador)

        “Hijo de puta, it’s the fault of you meddling gringos” -Latin America

        “Good, good, let the hate flow through you” -Russian oligarchs

      • TJ Barke

        Know nothing knows nothing. Film at 11.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Well, there was once another guy named Donald who brought up unknown unknowns. Who’d-a-thunk he was actually talking about this Donald’s awareness of anything related to, well, anything other than himself?

    • Alan

      Please go fuck yourself.

    • cmd resistor

      Big Day
      Big Speech
      Good Things
      Tricky Things
      Go Team!

      • OneYieldRegular

        Red fish.
        Blue fish.
        Green eggs.
        Big ham.

        • cmd resistor

          Go Dog Go.

    • Rick Hill

      Oh, to be a translator at the UN, today….

    • foiled again

      “Big Spring Dance. Lots of balloons.”

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      8-5 odds that he’ll bring up “some aren’t paying their fair share” during the “big speech”.

      • Three Finger Salute

        “Eeeny meeny miny mo… my daughter told me to pick the very best one, and it… is… uh… I really don’t know who any of these people are and they probably have sad loser made-up names anyway, so I’m just gonna pick out someone familiar in the crowd…”

        (Justin Trudeau runs out the back door)

        “That guy. The president of Kenya. Barack Obama.”

    • OneYieldRegular

      Big, little, high, low, bright, dark – the man has the mind of a planarian.

  • jesuswasablack
    • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

      Yep: bigger, better, hotter, smarter.

      And no amount of rolling artillery will change that.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Hillary’s would have been just as yooge, if not biglier.

        • MarciaCAdkisson

          Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
          On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
          !si296:
          ➽➽
          ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleDailyConsumerFreshJournalsJobsReport1/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sf416l..,.

  • WeaselPoo

    Back in 1982 or 83 I think on Memorial day NYC had a military parade including half-tracks and M60 anks lumbering down the southern half of Park Ave to Washington Sq
    Park.
    The tracks chewed up the road surfave and the whole route had to be repaired. A current M1A2 is 20 tons heavier than an M60.

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      i seem to recall this was an issue when the military started giving away their toys to local police departments. They had to refit the treads and stuff so they wouldn’t tear up streets.

      • Bobathonic

        They put rubber road treads on tanks for the parade honoring Storming Norman and company. a million years ago. Still fucked up Constitution Ave in DC. It didn’t tear the macadam, but the weight affected the substrates and made the road wavy and bumpy.

  • proudgrampa

    Hey! It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day!

    https://youtu.be/cCJMO8Z93X0

    • foiled again

      Arrr. Trump fuckin’ sucks. Arr.

      • proudgrampa

        Aaaaaarrrrrr!

    • The Wanderer

      Ahoy, Matey! Sun’s up o’er the yardarm, an’ time t’splice the main brace!

    • Three Finger Salute

      “Ahoy, matey. Fuck the Mickey Mouse MAFIAA.”

    • Roadstergal

      A good day to draft up Arrrr-ticles of impeachment.

      • proudgrampa

        Aaaarrrrright!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    What’s the point of being president if they won’t let you drive? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6ec99ce0f54f4d905282cc2d1a93bfe893af964568131bcc757a0dd98e22d367.jpg

    • OutOfOrbit

      tha USA flag used to signal hope for people in need, now it say, “Duck & run!!!”

    • cicatricella

      serious question – does the 45 actually know how to drive? Like, other than a golf cart? I assume he’s been chauffeured since he was a tiny tycoon tyrant, & I’ve never seen photographic evidence that he can…

      • marxalot

        He’s also from the one place in US America where it is entirely plausible to have never learned or needed to.

        • No, New Yawkers know to to drive.

          Like maniacs.

          • marxalot

            I assume all those people are from Lawn Guyland.

          • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

            Took me a minute.

  • jesterpunk
    • ariel_gee_398

      Abe forgot to steal a bottle of hooch on his way out the door.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Pretty much describes my day so far. Got a parking ticket on my new Lyft car already this morning also, too.

    • Raan

      I AM SAVING THIS BECAUSE I CAN NEVER FUCKING FIND IT WHEN I NEED TO

    • Dept. of Space Tacos

      just about, I need to study for my first test on Thursday AND go to the non-job.

      • SDGeoff3

        All is well?

    • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator
  • Asterix

    It’s just disgusting that Trump wants this. I hope the Pentagon tells him no fucking way.

    No sure the bridges in DC could take the load anyway, but still… NO.FUCKING.WAY!

    • The Wanderer

      Disgusting, but completely in character. I was convinced months ago that he’s had a “Commander-in-Chief” uniform run up for him, but he’s not yet gotten up the nerve to wear it in public yet.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        apparently Melania is beta-testing themes. (they have to match, ya know).

        • The Wanderer

          Introducing General Nguyen Cao Ky, South Vietnamese Air Force, and his wife:

          https://hoanghaithuy.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/caoky_tuyetmai.jpg

          • marxalot

            Jumpsuits! Very Air Force, very stylish. Fashion forward, for ’66.

          • Blanche de Shambles

            Which is which?

          • Clark_Nova

            Ky had a huge portrait of Hitler behind his office desk. One that Hitler had owned and displayed at Berchtesgaden. He told us that “Hitler was the greatest man who ever lived” and that he would “do to the North Vietnamese what Hitler did to the Jews”.

            I was there to photograph an award ceremony for my Battalion CO but he confiscated the film as soon as we were out of the office.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    oh lord, please tell me Raw Story is wrong and this didn’t actually happen this morning:

    “During his first official address to the UN General Assembly, Trump also delivered a stern warning to North Korea and referred to Kim Jong-un as “rocket man.””

    • TundraGrifter

      Elton John libulz!

    • jesterpunk

      He has been doing that since the weekend and thinks its a clever name.

      • Dept. of Space Tacos

        that was my suspicion, he thinks he’s being clever – but he clearly doesn’t get the difference between a rally in RedNeck Georgia and a UN Address. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.

        • suziq

          I know, you would think someone would have told him to change his wording. Can’t they, or don’t they care anymore?

          • Rebel Scum with permit

            He likely went off script, because he thought it was just so clever.

          • Pisto75666

            They probably did, but didn’t have enough pictures to keep his attention. Plus it’s got to be tiring telling someone the same thing over and over in hopes they’ll listen.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            a little from column a and a little from column b, I suspect.

            If there’s any decent person left working in the WH, you could get their fingerprints off their foreheads with all the face palming going on.

        • jesterpunk

          He likes the stupid childish insults and so does his base. Remember “Lying” Ted, “Crooked” Hillary, “Little” Marco…

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            right, but he’s not speaking to his fucking base!

            sorry, not you, just this dude is fucking dumb as hell.

          • jesterpunk

            Oh I know and the fact that so many people are ok with it makes it even worse.

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            can’t wait for the inevitable punditry today, CNN will say “He was very presidential!”

            Fox News will call it the greatest address to the UN since [insert famous UN address, I’m not totally awake yet]

          • Three Finger Salute

            The Gettysburg Address.

          • jesterpunk

            There was a post here about some congress critter saying how great it is that Trump speaks his mind and isnt a politician.

            This one

            https://wonkette.com/623110/violence-against-hillary-clinton-is-it-ever-not-funny-donald-trump

            “One thing about President Trump, he doesn’t stand on protocol at all,” Collins said. “He’s just a fun guy, he really is if anyone would get to know him. So I think, you know, the stuffy diplomats at the UN are going to be taken aback a bit, and that goes for the way he handles his Twitter account, which is him speaking directly like people do as they’re having a cup of coffee at Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts.”

          • Dept. of Space Tacos

            ugh.

          • georgiaburning

            He’s the guy whose asked to leave

          • georgiaburning

            He was. There are going to be a lot of chuckles among them on how their boy Donnie told it like it is to those UN furriners

    • laughingnome

      Yes, it’s being reported by multiple outlets.

    • Three Finger Salute

      To paraphrase Eminem, “please shut up, please shut up, please shut up.”

    • Jeffery Campbell

      You act surprised…

  • “Say what you want about the man… you know, he did a few bad things, very bad, but Hitler could throw a parade. Wonderful parades with soldiers marching in lockstep saluting the Fuhrer, you know… the flag…”

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      He put Germany first.

      • And Germany great again… right up until the Russians, the English, French, and the Americans bombed it back to rubble.

        • Raan

          And then we’re the ones who had to make Germany (and most of the rest of Western Europe) great again.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Until, that is, we (and Russia) Made America Germany Again.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Well, not all Germans. But I’m sure there was genocide on many sides.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          “He never used poison gas on his own people, and Trump had bigger crowds. Period.” -Sean Spicer

          • HellhathnofuryDemme

            …and Holocaust Centers.”

          • georgiaburning

            Uh, wrong

          • willi0000000

            what? . . . does this mean Jews are actually people?

          • georgiaburning

            That, also that the Nazis gassed a lot of non-Jewish Germans as well.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    No parade for you, but the wackiest ship in the Army has offered to sail up the Potomac. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e5f08a527bec8d7ab8e71535d50fbab75c6d5320891c315b54562bd250e1b21e.jpg

  • armed_bears

    ‘member when Trump satisfied himself with embarrassing just one country?

  • btwbfdimho

    To a large extent because of what I witnessed, we may do something like that on July Fourth in Washington down Pennsylvania Avenue, Trump said.

    He probably meant this KKKind of parade.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u1QARlCph0

    • HellhathnofuryDemme

      Hopefully, he’ll be gone by then.

  • Saxo the Grammarian
  • willi0000000

    that top pic is hilarious! . . . grease stain looks like t’Rump’s shadow and it makes him look like a floating fat man.

    [ apologies to the baron harkonnen ]

    • Raan

      Which one would be Feyd-Rautha, Don Jr. or Eric?

      • The Librarian

        Yes

      • Bobathonic

        Neither, Feyd was at least competent*. Beast Rabban, now we’re talking Uday or Qusay.

        * Also, F-R was favored by the Baron. So, Ivanka?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    OMG, that letter makes me cringe for both the writer and the recipient.

  • La forza del resistino

    How about a parade of floats filled with the dogtags of the fallen soldiers so we don’t go down that path again.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Peacenik commie. Don’t you know war is good for business?

    • Canned Covfefe

      What an inspired idea for Veterans’ day

      • willi0000000

        Memorial Day.

        • Canned Covfefe

          My bad. Thank you.

    • willi0000000

      counting only from WWI . . . if you include the chains, that’s over 20,000 pounds . . . sorry, but my mind keeps wanting to know things like this . . . i often hate what i find out.

  • Dept. of Space Tacos

    soooo, I want to use all this UN talk to recommend an incredible book. I like the UN and wanted to work there for a time (it has problems, of course).

    Anyway, this was written by the first appointed Secretary General of the UN and documents his experiences during the first 7 years of the UN following it’s creation after WWII. He details the mundane (how fucking hard it was to find a site and build the UN headquarters) and the intense, the Palestinian/Israeli situation.

    I loved it and it inspired me. I managed to find a signed fucking copy for $1. Sheesh. Looks like it’s out of print. I’ll dig out my copy tonight and post some pics.

    https://www.amazon.com/CAUSE-PEACE-Seven-United-Nations/dp/B0000CIYYV/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1505837463&sr=1-9&keywords=%22trygve+lie%22

  • The Librarian

    What an almost waste of taxpayer moneyz. Business as usual.

  • laughingnome

    Which tanks will roll first down PA Avenue ceremonial parade tanks, or coup d’etat tanks?

  • calliecallie

    Tanks rolling down Pennsylvania Avenue. I’m sure that will be good for the infrastructure.

    • Professor Fate

      Tank treads would chew the daylights out of the street. It’s the nature of the beast.

      • Finnibar87

        It’s how a tank rolls!

        ( sees self to the door)

        • OutOfOrbit

          wait for me!

        • President in Exile Firefly

          That joke is a re-tread.

          • pstokk

            You two are a barrel of laughs.

  • JMP

    Here’s some more scenes from his parade:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNv5sPu0C1E

    • Jennaratrix

      Ah, the ringtone when my father calls…

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Sounds to me like Dolt 45 wants to move on from wasting tax payer money on military parades to just wasting taxpayers, the liberal, Russian investigating kind.

  • Crystalclear12

    You said I was boring and low energy. Bet I don’t seem that bad now ,huh?
    Jeb Bush

    • tehbaddr

      Ooops, comment belonged elsewhere.

  • OutOfOrbit

    “How many times do you have to be told, Donnie? Pennsylvania Av can not handle the weight of a mechanized army.”
    –Kelly

    “WHY NOT?!” *stamping and screaming*
    –tRumpsterfire

    • eggs ackly-wright

      If the streets collapsed, it might expose the tunnels to the pizza parlor basement.

      • tehbaddr

        C.H.U.D.s in the Metro more likely!

      • Clark_Nova

        More likely, the Presidential escape tunnel.

    • Finnibar87

      Tanks chew up paved streets; it’s part of their, er, charm.

  • Lefty Wright
    • Raan

      If he ever wedges his ass into a tank, I vote we all steal Archer’s “Mike Du-cock-less” joke.

      • marxalot

        If he ever manages that, getting him back out is going to be a larger scale version of this, with a lower return on investment.

        • Covfefe

          You should read the story. They used a vibrator to get this five and a half pound weight off his member.

          • marxalot

            Honestly, at the point where you have stuck your dick in a free weight, I’m not sure we should interfere with nature taking its course.

          • Covfefe

            Would Donnie Ding Dong be happy with a four hour crotch rocket?

    • WotsAllThisThen
  • dshwa

    Ask not for whom the Abrams rolls, it rolls for thee

  • Finnibar87

    Tanks chew the fuck out of paved streets.

    And I doubt the idiot would provide DC with enough coin to fix em.

    • redblack

      bah. just lay down some plywood. it’ll be fine.

  • we may do something like that on July Fourth in Washington down Pennsylvania Avenue,” Trump said.

    Why?

    Because Pooty gets to have all the fun!!!1!1!

    Unconfirmed reports said that the wounded were journalists covering the major war games which have provoked massive concern in the West.
    https://media.tenor.com/images/2e915b6a7d09734761585608f813c886/tenor.gif

  • Viktor

    Trump Jung Un Jr

    • Three Finger Salute

      Aw, he’s just a little Jung’un, isn’t he? Look at those tiny little hands and how he’s learning to say new words!

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      They both inherited their positions…

  • Duke

    Driving a big truck wasn’t enough fun.

  • tehbaddr

    Despot tyrant dreams unrealized, are the worst kind!

    • Three Finger Salute

      I have an idea for a new reality show.

      Melania Trump, Wendy Deng, Sarah Netanyahu, Honeylet Avanceña (Duterte’s main squeeze) and Ri Sol-ju (Mrs Kim).

      Despot Housewives.

      • tehbaddr

        Bravo! Uh, put it on Bravo, does that channel even exist anymore?

        • Raan

          Sadly, pathetically, yes.

      • Rick Hill

        Wives of the rich and ruthless.

      • Nockular cavity

        If you’ve been watching the Vietnam doc, you know Madame Nhu would fit right in there.

        • Zyxomma

          Just what I was thinking. I went out for Halloween as Madame Nhu that year. My own hair, my own clothes and jewelry, and a rubber mask of a pretty Asian woman.

        • Clark_Nova

          I can’t believe that 3 hours into the series the names of the Dulles brothers, who betrayed Ho after WWII and were the PRIMARY CAUSE of our involvement in VN, have yet to be mentioned. That’s revisionist history.

          I also hate how they pad out the visuals, throwing in scenes that were shot 10 years after the period they’re discussing. Wrong weapons and choppers and even uniforms.

          I was expecting better.

  • chazmanr

    Dickless wonders like it when they can roll their big guns and missiles out in front of the peeps. They also drive Corvettes and Camaros.

  • bubbuhh

    And then the tanks could bomb crowd…with votes

  • Maybe

    Well, Trump does have really tiny hands.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Well, he’s consistent. He thinks more highly of Putin and Kim than he does of, say, Obama, so it stands to reason he would want tanks and missiles and all those big loud toys in his parades, just like them.

  • TootsStansbury

    This treasonous, bloated, unAmerican, criminal better not still be illegitimate president come Independence Day.

  • lucidamente

    If the Marine Band does a Daft Punk medley, it’s all good.

    • Old Man Yells at Cloud

      It would be fitting since Trump is both daft and a punk.

      • starfanglednut

        Daft punks libelz!!1

  • Kiri the Unicorn
  • President in Exile Firefly

    In Trump’s America, military parades you!

  • Sometimes a howitzer is just a howitzer… but not in this case.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I guess there won’t be any electronic music at his parade though.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhQkku7jLfo

  • PubOption

    How many million would it cost to put rubber tracks on a few tanks so that they won’t damage the roads?

    Repubs might go for it, as long as they can get the money by cutting aid to the poors.

    • Clark_Nova

      Modern tanks are too large to maneuver on DC streets without causing very expensive damage. Even with rubber treads, their weight alone will damage the streets.

      • Perkniticky

        Maybe instead they could use the armoured vehicules they’ve been handing out to police departments.

      • wmson

        With his $700 Billion Military budget, what’s another $1-2 Billion to do prep and repair?

  • SisterArtemis

    Once again, I wish we could just lock him inside a Truman Show-like encapsulated world, for the safety of all of us. Except this time, a better back wall, and no stairs.
    https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/AAEAAQAAAAAAAAYwAAAAJGM4MWIzMGQ1LTRhNWQtNGMyYy05MGMxLWI5NWU2NjU0YzJkNw.jpg

    • mancityRed6
    • whitroth

      Great pic, since it’s Talk Like A Pirate Day. Argh, matey, I’ve got HUUUUGGGEEEE HANDS!

      • JustDon’tSayPeter

        Yar, I be forgettin this day. An’ there be Test Reports to write!

  • CATMAN

    So El Caudillo de Estatos Unidos wants a military parade with lots of tanks and stuff–is he going to wear a fancy uniform with epaulets, lots of gold trim and a chest full of medals to complete the spectacle?

  • whitroth

    Will the reviewing stand have giant banners of Ayn Rand behind it?

    For the olds, like me, remember when Nixon got new uniforms for WH security, and *everyone* said they looked like they’d been stolen from a South American dictator’s retinue?

  • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

    Is now the time we start tweeting/FB posting to the leaders of the free world to come and save us?

  • Last Hussar

    Commander in Chief. That out ranks EVERYBODY. He’s like a six star general. Needs a uniform. Lots of Gold Braid. And aviators. And bespoke revolver.

    Go on. You know you want to. Come on Wonks. Help him out, tell him he needs a uniform.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Right? Trevor Noah called this over a year ago! Don’t forget MEDALS. He needs MEDALS like his nice friend Sheriff Clarke! FLAIR!

      • Last Hussar

        LOTS OF MEDALS. Prove he’s a hero for surviving the Clap.

  • David Chaillou

    On behalf of my fellow French, I would like to extend our deepest apologies.
    Pardon, pardon, pardon, pardon.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      No, no, there’s no need. It’s not you. We love you. We love Macron. We love Macron’s wife. We love your steak frites and poulet roti and crispy fresh-baked baguettes. It’s Vlado he’s trying to pretend to be. Vlado is BIG and Vlado is STRONG and he wants to be JUST LIKE VLADO. The whole “French” thing is just a cover. And the most pathetic part of it is he’s a useless, weak fool who is just being played by Vlado, who is laughing himself sick “More wodka, wait till you see what the moron did today!”

  • Poly_Ester

    Donnie’s mommy wouldn’t let him play army when he was a child, and this is the result.

  • Wait…so now the Trumpers want to emulate the French?
    Would they call it a Freedom Fries Parade?

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      No, no, the Trumpers want to emulate the RUSSIANS. The French thing is just a cover.

  • Now if lions tigers and bears chased our Orange Overlord and his family down Pennsylvania Avenue. That would be a parade that I wouldn’t miss.

    • (((Aron)))

      Oh my!

  • He should be told that all the troops are forbidden to appear because of bone spurs on their heels

  • Querolous
  • phoenix00

    Make America Mussolini/Stalin/Hitler/Nasser Again

  • MarciaCAdkisson

    Google is paying 97$ per hour,with weekly payouts.You can also avail this.
    On tuesday I got a great new Land Rover Range Rover from having earned $11752 this last four weeks..with-out any doubt it’s the most-comfortable job I have ever done .. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
    !si296:
    ➽➽
    ➽➽;➽➽ http://GoogleDailyConsumerFreshJournalsJobsReport1/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!sf416l..,..

  • (((Aron)))

    Everyone loves a parade!

    • Princess Erika the Radiant

      i’ll be sure to bring my Soviet flag and wear my sexy Red Army Officer Uniform!

      but if they don’t have those rolling missile launchers with the missiles that look exactly like giant vibrators i’ll ask for my money back

Previous articleTrump Jr. Fires Secret Service. Not Suspicious. Not Suspicious At All
Next articleBill O’Reilly Claims Bill O’Reilly An Innocent Victim Of Liberals, Just Like George Washington