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LOL! AND THEN HE SAID…

Some fun details on Nancy and Chuck’s dinner date with Donald t’other day, courtesy of WaPo’s Ashley Parker, who tries to untangle what the hell actually got said about DACA and DREAMers and Trump’s “Midas touch of low-grade uncertainty he seems to sow in others and exhibit himself while operating comfortably from within the maelstrom.” We learn that the reported Chinese menu for the dinner was both a signal that Trump (or an aide, let’s be honest) remembered Schumer’s fondness for takeout from Hunan Dynasty in DC, and also “represented their shared hard-line view on trade with China,” which has to be from Schumer, since Trump has never indicated he knows what a meta’s phor. And we learn that whatever Trump may have said about DACA over that dinner, he subsequently decided to spin it as many ways as there are people he wants to please — or annoy. And most goodest, we learned that Nancy Pelosi doesn’t take any shit from mansplaining boys:

At one point, Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross asked, “What exactly does the president get out of this deal?” As Pelosi, the only woman at the table of 11, tried to make her point — that the president gets the cooperation of the Democrats, which he will likely need on a host of issues — the men in the room began talking over her and one another.

“Do the women get to talk around here?” Pelosi interjected, according to two people familiar with the exchange.

There was, at last, silence, and she was not interrupted again.

We can only imagine Pelosi accompanied that with the Jagoff Says WHAT? death-glare she used when Joe wossname interrupted Barry Obama with “You Lie!”:

And then of course there’s the predictable fuck-tussle of “what the hell did Trump agree to, anyway?” games, perhaps best embodied by the unnamed White House spokeswoman who declarified Trump’s DACA position on Air Force One yesterday by insisting,

“The president has been clear that there will be no amnesty” before adding that the administration’s plan for immigration changes “could include legal citizenship over time.”

Just not the kind of citizenship that would be amnesty, of course. Trump added to the chaos in Florida, where he also nonsplained,

No, we’re not looking at citizenship. We’re not looking at amnesty. We’re looking at allowing people to stay here.

But let us return to Pelosi and her take on what comes next on DACA. According to Politico, Pelosi addressed Democrats’ worries that there shouldn’t be any “increased border security” strings on a measure to allow DREAMers to finally get some kind of permanent status — ideally a path to citizenship — by telling House Democratic whips Thursday

that despite “some misunderstandings in the press about a deal, we made a deal to make a deal. We made a deal to go forward.”

“So let us embrace our success instead of tinkling all over it, as we have a tendency to do all over ourselves,” Pelosi added, according to a source in the room. “Because this — I’m just being very honest with you, OK? Because we don’t have the majority.”

She doesn’t want to be a wet blanket, she just wants to remind Dems about that old “politics is the art of the possible” thing, what with a Republican majority and president, however befuddled and fractious they are. Also, nice sly use of “tinkle,” Madam Minority Leader: You really know how to sweet-talk Trump, don’t you? Just restrain that impulse to make prank phone calls to the White House asking if “Ivana Tinkle” is there.

As for the path to citizenship, which really should be the end goal, Politico has this:

Schumer, Pelosi, and Trump specifically agreed to work on a path to citizenship on Wednesday night, a source familiar with the talks said. The Democratic leaders referred to DACA and not DREAM in their subsequent statement to improve prospects for a final deal with Trump, who shies away from the latter term and prefers the former.

It sounds to us like Nancy and Chuck know how to play Trump — they just need to explain to him that a path to citizenship that isn’t really amnesty was his idea all along.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Click right here and we’ll mansplain what Pelosi really meant (no we won’t, we’ll just quote her, Jesus).

[WaPo / Politico]

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  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    No, we’re not looking at citizenship. We’re not looking at amnesty. We’re looking at allowing people to stay here.

    The fact he can say these things and not realize the first two are directly contradicted by the third thing is a perfect example of him just vomiting words without regard to their substance.

    • jowgajen

      His base only listens for words that elicit an emotional response. Substance is irrelevant. It’s kind of a problem.

    • proudgrampa

      He has no idea what he’s talking about.

    • MrTusks

      Makes sense to me. It’s not citizenship, it’s not amnesty, it’s me allowing you to stay here at my pleasure and you have no power to stop me when I change my mind.

  • memzilla Ω

    Surely I’m not the only one marking the fine irony of a lackwit president* installed into office by a foreign power making decisions on ANYONE’S “citizenship?”

  • The Wanderer

    So, basically Trump’s Nikolai II – he’ll go along with whatever the last person he speaks to tells him.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    “instead of tinkling all over it, as we have a tendency to do all over ourselves.” OK. Former Madame Speaker, what is your real Wonkette name? Hmm???

    I like that line alot… and the proper-sounding “as we have a tendency to do” and then, for effect, “all over ourselves.”

    How much pee videoing is going ON in DC?

    • BeachBum

      My guess is about the same as potty training 537 preschoolers at a day care.

    • OneYieldRegular

      So much so that there’s a new pizza place called “Comet Pee Videoing.”

    • Aaron_000

      Is her Wonkette name Ivanka Tinkle?

  • DainBramage

    No, we’re not looking at citizenship. We’re not looking at amnesty. We’re looking at allowing people to stay here.

    The only thing left is creating a class of permanent, second class inhabitants. Not acceptable in any way.

    • Covfefe

      Obamacare is an absolute mess. Not acceptable in any way. But a) it’s better than what we had, b) it’s a start, and c) it was possible.

      • Not acceptable in any way.

        No pre-existing conditions: Acceptable. ✓

        Everyway. 😉

    • OneYieldRegular

      Will they each have to wear an armband that reads “Dreamer”?

      • puredog

        A pink taco badge pinned to the chest.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Careful or you’ll prick yourself.

          • puredog

            Now THAT’s what a meta’s phor.

    • Daniel

      He’s taking inspiration from those very fine people who defended the Confederacy.

    • Covfefe

      Sides, if they multiply, under the 14th Commandment, their multiplicants are natural born citizens. It’s not a hereditary disability. We can work on their status if and when we become a majority.

      • BeachBum

        That can vote. IMO that is eggszactly what the racists and Nazis fear the most.

        • Covfefe

          By the time the multiplicants are old enough to vote, the current olds will be dead.

          • HarryButtle

            I said that thirty years ago, but there never seems to be a shortage of replacement deplorables.

            For every Ted Nugent who dies, there’s a Kid Rock to take his place.

          • Historicat

            For every Ted Nugent who refuses to die, you mean.

          • Eileen Besse

            OK. You win. YES.

    • bbayliss

      “we want what they can offer but still want to be able to push them around.”

  • Paperless Tiger

    No, we’re not looking at citizenship. We’re not looking at amnesty. We’re looking at allowing people to stay here.

    Translation: We want to work them, but we don’t want them to have any rights.

    • OneYieldRegular

      “We’re looking at slavery.”

  • I remain convinced that the Democrats should take every policy proposal from their party platform, draft up a bill of it, put Trump’s name on all of it, like “Donald Trump’s Super Amazing Health Care Plan for All Americans” or “Handsome Donald Trump’s Excellent Plan to Help DACA residents” or “Amazingly Smart Donald Trump’s plan to reduce income inequality so everyone can be as rich and amazing as Donald Trump” and pay someone to ‘accidentally’ leave copies on his desk.

    • Roadstergal

      From your mouth to Pelosi’s ear.

    • Daniel

      “As rich and amazing” wouldn’t work. “Grateful to Donald Trump forever and also think he’s so amazing forever too”.

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      Amend to “Donald Trump’s*

      *just kidding!!!”

    • Blackest Noobs

      well sure, Trump would sign it…maybe…but still has to get through a Republican House and Senate.

  • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

    Meanwhile, this is what a Democratic Socialist of America thinks about saving DACA. Apparently The Atlantic, BuzzFeed, thedailybeast et alia pay her for her thoughts.
    https://twitter.com/nataliesurely/status/908442930205016064

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy
      • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

        Maybe they could merge and form a National Socialist Party.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Sounds like a good compromise.

        • OneYieldRegular

          Oooo…

        • arglebargle

          Why is it never a Social Nationalist party?

          • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

            That will be the splinter group.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            The Democratic People’s Nationalist Social Front!

        • redarmyzombie

          The Judean People’s Front of Judea!

        • proudgrampa

          What an original idea!

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Everyone gets a Volkswagen!

          • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

            And free college!

      • Marceline

        The DSA is pretty much the left wing tea party. I refuse to go near any event that they are involved with here in town.

        • OutOfOrbit

          DSA ? wut dat?

          • Chyron HR

            Discount Shoe up your Ass. It’s like the footwear equivalent of Bill Bill Hell’s used cars.

      • jesterpunk

        What actual solutions would that be? Ponies for everyone and banning donuts?

        • OutOfOrbit

          a donut ban? NOW shit’s gettin real

          • jesterpunk

            Donuts are elitist, pompous and arrogant.

          • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

            Donuts are not where the energy is.

          • OutOfOrbit

            yes they are ( :

          • WotsAllThisThen

            If that happens there WILL be a constitutional convention.

          • OutOfOrbit

            dam strait there bedder be!

    • Eileen Besse

      Ya got me with “et alia.” [applause]

  • bbayliss

    “…Trump has never indicated he knows what a meta’s phor.”

    I give.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      “….or why a duck?”

  • whitroth

    No, no, no, it’s Trump who says, “Ivana tinkle”….

    • Daniel

      Ivanka tinkle.

      And people were asking what her role in the White House is.

      • laughingnome

        Anita Blonde is always in Trump’s mind.

  • Marceline

    Behold the delicate pimp hand of Nancy Pelosi. Witness as it punches bros in the dick.

  • kareemachan

    To the people who think Nancy doesn’t know what she’s doing or that she swallowed drumpster’s lies hook, line, and sinker – HAH! She’s an experienced politician and knows when to let the other person hang themselves. And how to get a jab in at the same time.

    • bbayliss

      Little things like passing bills, you know, governance.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I am a seriously ignorant emu, as most of you know, so please forgive this question. But exactly why are we “not looking at citizenship?” I could see an asshole-conservative case (seriously) for making them jump through the classes-and-testing hoops to become citzens, but why preclude that possibility? Aren’t they, at the very least, prime candidates?

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      That’s just something that came out when Donnie’s lips were flapping. Disregard.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Becuse they would become Democrat voters is what the RW fears.

    • bbayliss

      The same reason some people think healthcare is a privilege they want for themselves but would deny to others?

      • Beanz&Berryz

        They built all the freeways their ownselves and everyone else who uses them is a moocher.

    • Covfefe

      We are looking at citizenship. We are not saying it out loud because, as gramma says, “we don’t have the majority.” Let’s stop this tinkling all over ourselves.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Well, I was using “we” rather loosely. I take your point.

      • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

        Can we tinkle all over ourselves on our lunch hour?

        • Lance Thrustwell

          It’ssa freee country {hic}. Go nuts. {falls, urinates on floor}.

          • puredog

            Slightly different from “Go, nuts.”

          • Lance Thrustwell

            An exhortation for a different occasion.

          • Historicat

            Rep. Rohrabacher? Go home – you’re drunk.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        As we have a tendency to do…

    • BeachBum

      In war, ya wanna give the enemy misinformation. Misdirection. Hide your strategy. Don’t fire till you see that fat pimple on Lil Paulie’s nose. Or get the majority.

    • Eileen Besse

      His peeps don’t want blah/brown/yellow people to VOTE.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Well yeah, but I was wondering about official justifications.

      • FlownΩver

        Or to exist anywhere nearby, or to be among the “us.”

  • Wolf Tracker

    Just don’t call it citizenship and let Trump say he agreed to DACA which does already include a path to citizenship.

    His base does not even know what DACA stands for or what it requires and all they know is illegals are bad people even if they were brought here as kids.

    I don’t even care if they give Trump some money to fix the holes in the fence he wants to call a wall and these young people are Americans in all sense of the word and deserve the respect of a path to citizenship and not be ripped from the country they love and grew up in.

    • BigCSouthside

      I have no doubt that if trump showed pictures of the current border barrier his base would be like “ya hooo he did it!”

      • Wolf Tracker

        It is symbolic to most of them and most of his followers can’t find our borders on a map.

        • puredog

          Woah, that ‘splains how I woke up in Tijuana that one time. . .

          • BeachBum

            IKR ?!

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Dad?

  • SisterArtemis

    It sounds to us like Nancy and Chuck know how to play Trump — they just need to explain to him that a path to citizenship that isn’t really amnesty was his idea all along.

    This is pretty much how every issue should be handled with Mr. Manbaby President.

    • Claire

      And the best part is how easy it would be, since for every public position he’s taken he has at some point taken the exact opposite position.

      “Of course, Mr. President, as you so wisely tweeted on August 3rd, 2013…”

  • mancityRed6

    “Ivana Tinkle”, strangely enough, is the street name of one of the pee hookers.

    • laughingnome

      What’s word for when your name suggests your destiny?

      • laughingnome

        Okay it’s nominative determinism. THanks google!

        • Major_Major_Major

          Well that explains how my life turned out, Shtuelsampell pretty much guaranteed I was gonna tend bar.

          • Msgr_MΩment

            Did you ever think about a career in proctology?

          • Major_Major_Major

            I considered scoping it out a time or two.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Is that related to determinative nominalism?

        • notaten

          I once had a dentist named Dr Wrencher, for real.

      • mancityRed6

        I’m sure it’s like a porn name, not real, but close enough to what your specialty is.

  • TJ Barke

    Harness your inner Chrisjen Avasarala!

    • Lord Jim

      I had to look that up. I’m still not sure I get it, but I iz old and out of it.

  • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

    I have a big butt and my butt smells and I like to smell my own butt.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    ♪ Hello MAGA, hello DACA
    Things were sane once,
    Now they’re caca ♪

    • RMKH

      Trump is very
      Irritating
      But we think his demise is accelerating

      • Rags

        Can’t come home, dear mudda fadda
        Can’t come home, I’m in Canada
        No more to roam around the White House
        Where I might get grabbed in the you-know-where….

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • bubbuhh

      Come right here now to get your free slavery!

    • Lord Jim

      Well, ya gotta experience it to really understand it, right?

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      I just guffawed in my kitchen.

  • BeachBum

    I can only get as far as this : A = B, B = C, but if we tell Big Brain Brad, uh, I mean Donnie, that A in no way, no how, ever, pinkie swear stick a needle in my eye = C, then he’s cool with it. It cant be this simple.

    • OutOfOrbit

      you lost me at A=B

      • puredog

        They promised there’d be no math.

    • RMKH

      I was told there wouldn’t be any math

  • William

    WELL NANCY IF YOU DON’T LIKE ARE COUNTREE THEN JUST GO BACK TO IRACKISTAN WHERE YOU COMED FROM. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6cb448f70444bf451b0c0f80777a5f89ea4d34ac05959ceac1f1d7b6cb9b9f6f.jpg

    • laughingnome

      Fuck yeah!!!.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      I’m old enough to remember when it was still just the best nation in the country.

    • Maybe

      It’s even worse than that.

      She’s from–GASP–San Francisco.

    • Crystalclear12

      Stage 3 stupid infection.

      It’s time to talk amputation.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Of the neck.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      And such as!

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Reminds me of the Comedy Central ad for an interviewer roving the streets, trolling tRump supporters, getting them to agree that Hillz should be impeached and then they signed a petition to do so.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Some lackey for Donald who was at the meeting said he didn’t remember Nancy saying that the men weren’t listening.

    I’m sure you don’t, asshole. .

    /FFS

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      He wasn’t listening.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Pardon?

        • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

          Joe? Yes!!

    • OutOfOrbit

      he lied

    • How stupid is he???

      • How stupid is there? I mean, what’s the maximum possible level of stupid? Several degrees of stupid more than that.

    • Crystalclear12

      Thus proving her point.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        “She was just yammering away as she does…”

        • starfanglednut

          When she really shoulda been making us sammiches…

          • weighmaster

            Grilled pastrami and provolone with sauteed onion and mushrooms…

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Head cheese.

          • Arolpin

            Hold them mushrooms.

          • Lord Jim

            WANT.

          • weighmaster

            With a hint of horseradish on dill rye…

        • CindyinEncinitas

          You know the way the grownups in the Peanuts movies sound?

          • Beanz&Berryz

            wha, wha wha…

    • Maybe

      I’m sure it went in one ear and out the other with no brain in the way to intervene.

    • Panika MCD

      of course they don’t. you have to have an unruly mob to get them to remember these kinds of things. they are so forgetful, these men.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPntuZ7jmGY

    • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

      And then the murders began. ??

  • jesuswasablack
    • Msgr_MΩment

      …in a short afro, eating jumbo shrimp…

      • That he bought with food stamps.

        • altleftjohn

          That he stole.

          • Major_Major_Major

            The food stamps or the shrimps?

      • jesterpunk

        Did he have skittles?

    • Wolf Tracker

      Accident my ass! He shot himself and blamed it on a Black man to get publicity and probably a settlement from the school for his injury.

      Making a false police report is a class B misdemeanor in most states with 6 months jail time.

      • bbayliss

        He had a gun that he was not suppose to have on campus and was afraid of losing his job.

    • bbayliss

      He was fired within 24 hours and the President of St. Kates issued a statement decrying racism.

      • jesuswasablack

        What’s your point?

        • bbayliss

          He was fired within 24 hours and the President of St. Kates issued a statement decrying racism.

          • jesuswasablack

            So you don’t have a point?

          • bbayliss

            He was fired within 24 hours and the President of St. Kates issued a statement decrying racism.

    • sincarne

      Holy crap, he looks 12. (Or I’m old.)

  • Wolf Tracker

    OT: The Strongest Evidence Yet Donald Trump Is Violating Constitutional Anti-Corruption Clauses

    New documents show the National Security Council spent taxpayer money at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago.

    Since Donald Trump took office in January, his presidency has been dogged by concerns about how he may be profiting off the executive office. Now, thanks to receipts obtained by the transparency group Property of the People via the Freedom of Information Act, there’s evidence that the White House’s National Security Council paid more than $1,000 for a two-night stay at the Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida, on March 3 and 4 of this year. Trump owns the resort, and the profits are stored in a trust managed by Donald Trump Jr. and Trump Organization chief financial officer Allen H. Weisselberg that the president can pull funds from at any time. As a consequence, these receipts may be evidence of a violation of the Domestic Emoluments Clause of the U.S. Constitution, which prohibits the president from receiving any compensation from federal, state, or local governments beyond the salary he earns as chief executive.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2017/09/documents_show_national_security_council_spent_taxpayer_money_at_trump_s.html

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Women be playing their vagina card.

  • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent
    • puredog

      And they huffed, and they huffed, and they blew the country down.

    • Wolf Tracker

      Just waiting for one to set his hat on fire while wearing it.

    • Major_Major_Major

      The tucked in RCHP t-shirt is SWEET

    • jowgajen

      Maybe soon I’ll be able to wear my Cal State Northridge hat without folks thinking I’m a white supremacist.

      http://www.usashopx.com/31226-large_default/101dog-cal-state-northridge-csun-unisex-adjustable-sandwich-bill-cap-ash-diy-cap.jpg

    • Lord Jim

      If these dumbfucks had two brain cells to rub together, they’d have seen the obvious during campaign season: Trump has no ideology or ideals (or morals), and sees loyalty strictly in terms of “what can you do for me?” Trump shafted his base for two skilled public servants who smiled and talked nice to him.

  • Panika MCD

    wonder who got the last egg roll.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Operationally? Or adjacent?

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      This non-comment was originally something different.

  • Michael R
  • dshwa

    Trump better be careful. The teabaggers don’t care about colluding with Russians, but collude with democrats and it’s INPEACH! time.

  • laughingnome

    Who’s getting you’re fired today? It’s Friday.

    • Major_Major_Major

      I’m going with a Rexit at 1830.

      • jowgajen

        That would be spectacular.

    • bbayliss

      Who’s left?

      • CindyinEncinitas

        SHS.

        • bbayliss

          No one else wants the job.
          That’s job security

    • Crystalclear12

      What’s the spread on Omarosa?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        goose pate? I hear she’s into some kinky stuff.

      • jowgajen

        My analysis on Omarosa is that 1. she has no place better to be, 2. Little fingers loves having her around. 3. She has no personal agenda that she is or isn’t making happen. So … not likely to go anywhere.

        • FlownΩver

          Once she came out with that Bow Down Before Trump line she had job security through infinity.

  • HarryButtle

    Can we please stop sucking each other off about this? It’s meaningless. Trump AGREED to do something. Maybe. But he’s under no obligation whatsoever to actually DO it. And any change assumes the Dems can actually get their bill passed through the Republican House and the Republican Senate (they can’t).

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      I realize this. But I’m enjoying the MAGA/GOP meltdowns immensely.

      • laughingnome

        yeah the discord in the GOP going into a congressional election will be good for dems

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Me too. It’s the flippin’ and the floppin’, the threatenin’ and the backstabbin’ and the second guessin’. Whee!

        • Crystalclear12

          Illuminated by burning MAGA hats.
          It is wonderful!

          • bbayliss

            It’s a false flag, the hats are being burned by BLM and ANTFA.
            Can’t make this shit up.

        • CindyinEncinitas
          • Lance Thrustwell

            Perfect!

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Yup, they are once again in disarray and Chuck and Nancy have them dancing. Now the boy king has to start making some tough choices in order to try to appease various warring factions in his own party, as well as the dealing with such an unpopular position.

        • Lord Jim

          But don’t you think Pelosi needs to go and make way for younger, more progressive candidates? She’s so old and establishment, I mean, she’s a FOSSIL, man…

    • Wolf Tracker

      Most GOP Reps in congress support keeping DACA.

      GOP leaders urge Trump to keep DACA

      http://www.mercurynews.com/2017/09/01/gop-leaders-urge-trump-to-keep-daca/

      Only ones against it are the Thiefdom Kochus.

      • HarryButtle

        Sure, they’re in favor of keeping it…but before they agree to do what they already want to do, they’re gonna force the Dems to make some horrible concessions. So what’s it gonna cost? What heinous policies will Chuck and Nancy have to swallow in order to “win” DACA?

        • Wolf Tracker

          They want tax reform passed and will need Dems to do it.

          Dems hold the cards right now and can get concessions if they play it right,

    • Ricky Gay

      No sucking! No sucking! You’re the sucking!!!

    • Carpe Vagenda

      And he pissed off his base by doing that, and they usual trolls are predictably being abusive in social media, and that’s the only social media he reads. Also, the law of Trump is to disoblige whoever thinks they’re the boss of you. So, you go ahead and Bannon, and let the rest suck who they may.

  • bubbuhh

    Nancy dint act like bimbo, so they wuz afeared uv teh Democratic vagina dentata.

  • Spurning Beer

    Must we always use urinary terms in our political discourse? That’s the number one problem in American politics, and you don’t have to be a whiz at rhetoric to know it.
    Sincerely,
    Wee the People

    • jesterpunk

      It comes from Europeean history.

      • bbayliss

        urine contempt!

        • jesterpunk

          You have been Over dribbled.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Srsly. Prostate yourself immediately.

    • Daniel

      You’re intervening with this tract to make a splash, I can see.

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      “Wee the Peeple”, FIFY.

      ETA: Not that I really wanted to piss on your parade, or anything.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      It’s important not to interrupt the free flow of ideas.

    • laughingnome

      I’m pissed.

      • Spurning Beer

        I merely meant, your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark.

        • Rags

          MP – the universal fount of all ………..wisdom

    • BeachBum

      I don’t think it’s number one. I think its number two.
      Clang ! (rim shot)

      • Beanz&Berryz

        rim shot… sliiiiide…

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Just let it flow, man.

    • altleftjohn

      And remember, urination of laws, not men. – Thomas Peen

    • laughingnome

      Alas poor uric

      • Arolpin

        I knew his smell.

        • Eileen Besse

          …Horatio….

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      What are you, yellow?

    • laughingnome

      It’s time we discharge our duties.

    • chicken thief

      Is this an official statement or a leak from your staff?

      • 🛶🗣️ Mr Canoehead 🛶🗣️

        It’s urealpolitik.

    • Rags

      Urethra for us or against us

  • SayItWithWookies

    McConnell and Ryan would still have to roll over and let this come to a vote, right? But if Ryan breaks the Hastert Rule (i.e. the biggest retrogrades in the GOP always get their way) then that would be another major step for liberals in the House.

    • Wolf Tracker

      The GOP wants DACA but they want to use it to get tax reform from Dems.

      The freedom Kochus is the stumbling block that might kill it.

    • BeachBum

      So it has come to the GOP looks to a convicted “serial child molester” and bank racketeering crook for their excuses to not do what the majority of the county believe is right.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Say what you will about enshrining the partisan politics of a right-wing child molester into a permanent rule, but at least it’s an ethos.

    • Spurning Beer

      […I don’t think the Coach is looking now….]

  • altleftjohn

    I was hanging around the English department lounge one day back in nineteen seventy something listening to one of the (male) linguistics professors discussing a recent study about how women speak much faster than men. One of the women instructors in the room piped up and said, “That’s because we have to try to get our point-in-quickly-before-a-man-interrupts-us.”

    • BeachBum

      I think also too they think faster. When I’m with my daughters, they bring up a point, debunk mine, make a consensus and move on without me saying a word.

      • altleftjohn

        That happens to me a lot too, but I think it’s because I’m old and usually a step behind. . .

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Mine did that to me when they were 12… But now they’re more polite and slow down the conversation to my speed…

        • CordeliaJWhalen

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    • Eileen Besse

      [-applause-]

      • altleftjohn

        You are too kind.

  • Wolf Tracker

    OT: Donald Trump May Be Forced to Disclose Tax Returns in 2020

    President Donald Trump has resisted all calls to release his tax returns, but should he decide to run for re-election in 2020, he may not have a choice in the matter.
    The California State Assembly has passed a bill requiring all presidential candidates to release their tax returns for the previous five years. Those who refuse won’t be put on the state’s ballot.

    Called the Presidential Tax Transparency and Accountability Act, the bill (which was passed by the Assembly on Thursday) now goes to the state Senate for a vote and, if it passes, heads to Governor Jerry Brown for his signature.

    http://fortune.com/2017/09/15/trump-tax-returns-2020-election/

    I doubt Trump will still be in office in 2020 or would run again but good to know some states are making tax releases mandatory for candidates.

    • jesuswasablack

      “Those who refuse won’t be put on the state’s ballot.”
      Trump has zero chance of winning California, so I don’t see how this would make one beans difference?

      • Wolf Tracker

        Not the only state considering it and I read elsewhere it is like 15 states considering it.

        • Ooh! Good news!

        • jesuswasablack

          That and a serious candidate who knows how to run a serious campaign might get the democrats back in the WH!

      • Yeah, I know. I wish one of the big square red states would do it.

      • Spurning Beer

        It would run up the popular vote tally.

    • laughingnome

      It’s great to see states stepping up and doing good federalism.

    • mancityRed6

      if the gods do not favor us with an early removal, I don’t see him running again.
      he’s got his prize and found out it’s not what he wanted.

      • Wolf Tracker

        I agree. His ratings in the shitter and facing Fed charges and he hates being president already.

  • OrG

    PEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    • bbayliss

      PeePee PiPi
      Pee pee tow tow pissmobile!

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      whizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    • chicken thief

      Urine trouble now, buster!

  • Zippy W Pinhead

    OT speaking of tinkles… looks like our resident pee enthusiast is pissing himself about Superman…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/todd-starnes-superman_us_59bb2d19e4b086432b05c3fb

    • bbayliss

      Lost me at todd starnes.

    • Edith Prickly

      Fictional immigrants are just as dangerous as real life ones!!??!!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Saving people is kinda Superman’s thing. You know, 80 years of protecting the innocent. And truth, justice and the American Way doesn’t include summary execution.

    • Swampgas_Man

      Sic Matter Eater Lad on ‘im. The Fox guy, I mean.,

    • mancityRed6

      that story was a headline on brainfart a couple of days ago. I did not click.

  • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy
    • Sophia

      They look like they were made from a bunch of leftover parts. Frankenstein jeans.

      • Beanz&Berryz

        Those pantses are just to confuse the boyses…

        • notaten

          In my experience, boys are pretty easy to confuse without spending $700 on ridiculous clothes.

          • Beanz&Berryz

            I suppose, but $700 could be worth the look of perplexity as he tries to figure out which snap to start with… Or maybe not even then

    • redarmyzombie

      WHO DID THIS?!

    • Thiazin Red

      Both of those look like the losing looks in a Project Runway challenge where the only material they were given was jeans. Tim Gunn would be really fucking concerned.

      Someone in the thread said they must be from the Final Fantasy collection. I do love some Final Fantasy, but yeah thats pretty accurate.

      • Marion in Savannah

        They did not make it work.

    • Edith Prickly

      I need Robyn to splainer these for me.

      • Marion in Savannah

        There is no splainering of shit like that. Like Herpes it just is.

      • OutOfOrbit

        this might even be beyond her grasp

    • Thiazin Red

      The worst thing is that they’re sold out. Enough people decided to spend 700 dollars on these abominations that they ran out of them.

    • Panika MCD

      are those prices what they are willing to pay me so they don’t have to look at them anymore? I could use more stuff for Jazzy to rip apart.

    • SomeBigRedDog

      Granted, I don’t have a great grasp on the concept of pants in general, but those seem wrong.

    • Shanzgood

      That 2nd pair looks like it’s got built-in chaps.

    • mancityRed6

      I’ve had cars that cost a little more than those two pairs jeans.
      wait, four pair?

  • II Gosala

    We are safe. Electricity is back. Grocery stores are restocked. Gas is in short supply and internet access is limited. There’s a ton of clean up both at home and at work, and I am exhausted. It’s not over, but the end is in sight.

    For those who are interested, if anyone is interested, what follows is the redacted body of any email to a friend detailing the details of our adventure with details

    S—,

    It’s been an adventure. We decided to bug out when the storm surge predictions reached 9 feet (we are at 7 feet).

    We found a shelter on the other side of the county. It took an hour to check in compete with a background check by the sheriff. The place was stiff with deputies and national guard carrying, I kid you not, assault rifles.

    We were given a spot about 20 feet by four. They’d decided to put all the pets in one location; so the place was lousy with agitated dogs. The cats were none too happy.

    It was close, smelly, noisy and chaotic. The whole show was being run by school personnel, who, of course, had no idea what they were doing.

    It was too much for Rev. G (I think three days of it would have been too much for me, too, and I hate to think wht the effect on the cats wound have been)

    So we bugged out of there, too. We got wind of a Red Cross shelter, and thinking them more likely to be well run, we drove back across the county only to discover that this, too, was a county run shelter with all the problems of the first with an added bonus plus that they wanted all the animals in one room and all the people in another. Clearly these were people who didn’t have animals themselves. Imagine what it would do to them, alone in a storm surrounded only by other upset animals.

    We left there, too.

    Remember at this point there was no gas to be had between the Keys and Orlando; so a long distance dash was impossible.

    After frantic emails, phone calls and texts to everyone we could think of, one of Rev G’s parishioners came through with a place high enough to be safe from flooding and well built to withstand the winds.

    It was comfortable enough, at least until the power went out just ahead of the storm.

    The wind was about 110mph, but we took no damage. There was a tree that leaned ominously over the roof, but it held.

    Irma fell apart rapidly when it made landfall. The backside winds, the ones that would cause the worst of the storm surge, fell rapidly from category 4 to category 2.

    We stayed in our refuge for two days. It was not bad all things considered. The heat was oppressive; the food limited. We had cheese, crackers, salami and candy, (We had packed assuming we’d be at a shelter where food would be provided and hadn’t had a chance to go back for better provisions) sufficient, but just barely.

    We read and we slept as best we could (a very interesting book about Scotland before it was Scotland. Remind me to tell you about it sometime). But sleep in that heat is hard to come by and not very restful when it does come.

    We worried about what we’d find when we got home. News was scarce, mostly disaster tourism — a tree down here, a home flooded there — nothing useful like road conditions, where gas is available, nothing like that.

    We got back Tuesday. Hallelujah! No flooding. No shingles lost. No damage to the house at all. We lost several fence panels and there’s a tree that probably needs to be taken down. But all told, very light damage.

    Of course no power and no internet, but that was everybody in the county.

    Time changed. There were no more hours. Time just alternated between daylight, when it was mind destroyingly hot, but at least you could read, and only slightly less hot nights when sleep was barely possible. We listened to every ballgame we could find to pass the time.

    That night I wound up in the hospital. Did I forget to mention? The previous week I contracted a nasty virus that has been going around. Lots of tiredness, congestion, coughing.

    I took a couple days of from work, but it wasn’t enough. Then there were the preparations to make at home and at work that would have taxed me at my healthiest. Then the heat and the pollen, dust and mold, which were already at high levels due to relentless rains two weeks before.

    I had been coughing all this time, but Tuesday I began coughing and couldn’t stop. I couldn’t breathe. I won’t bore you with the details.

    Rev. G called the paramedics. After much head scratching, repetitive questions, and pointless tests, they sent me away with some medications, which seem to be working more or less.

    The upside is thst we got a few hours respite from the heat.

    Over the next day and a half we managed to exist but little else. Rev. G’s illness makes her particularly vulnerable to the heat, and by Thursday morning she was in an alarming state. She couldn’t speak in whole sentences and could barely get up off the sofa.

    We learned that my store was bringing in food. So we went for the sake of the meal (which turned out to be a very fine pulled pork with a selection of fresh fruits that was very welcome indeed) and for the chance of air conditioning in the car and store (in fact the store did not have air conditioning, and customers and employees were visibly suffering).

    They had a few generators. We consulted briefly and decided that it was worth the $700 we didn’t have for the sake of heath and sanity.

    Generators are heavy and large. Getting it home and set up was a struggle.

    Generators need gas. So I went out for gas. I got lucky and found some at the second place I tried, and the wait was only about 20 minutes.

    When I got home, Rev G announced, “We have power!”

    We set the thermostat as low as we could, found a restaurant that was open and went out for a nice meal.

    We just got back. The house is cooling. The cats have picked themselves of the floor, and we are beginning to feel civilized again.

    So that was our adventure. It’s not quite over; we still don’t have access to the web. But it’s winding down, and I, for one, hope never to repeat it.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Thanks for your report, and I’m so glad that you got through okay. It must have been truly terrifying for you — let’s never have another storm like that, okay?

    • Shanzgood

      I’m glad you”re (mostly) ok but appalled that a state that’s been so storm prone for so long has such a flimsy response to assisting residents who were mandated to evacuate their homes.

    • Sophia

      Thanks for the report. Somehow I missed that you were some of the people that evacuated. Happy you are safe & healthy.

    • Rags

      You said you were subjected to a background check. That sux. Did you see any ICE agents?

      • II Gosala

        I didn’t notice any, but i wouldn’t have unless they had big patches saying ICE. I was pretty absorbed in my own stuff by that point.

        • Rags

          Understandable. Thanks.

    • Eileen Besse

      WOW. You just wrote the most succinct, revealing, heartfelt account of all this. I live up in Lake County, where there were also tornadoes with LOTS of damage, but Himself & I didn’t suffer what YOU did. WOW, and good for you!

    • cleos_mom

      Glad your life is getting more sane again, and with plenty of stories for you to tell.

      And good news that some shelters were taking in pets. Animals, like babies and young children, are always innocent bystanders.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    So when Republicans rail against “San Francisco values” they mean the value of actually listening and not talking over everyone?

    • Claire

      Yes. And all those other behaviors that make up traditional masculinity that everyone else has thought were asshole behavior all along, but no one had the clout to tell them to shut up or there would be consequences.

    • mancityRed6

      I think they’re talking about…
      *looks left, looks right*
      *whispers* the gheys

  • mancityRed6

    OT: off work by 2. liquor was bought, apartment was re leased, and trash was taken out. all by 2:30.

    • Shanzgood

      Is the bottle empty yet?

      • Major_Major_Major

        Is the first bottle empty yet? FIFY

      • mancityRed6

        hey now, I just sat down.
        give me a couple of minutes.

        • Major_Major_Major

          Slacker

          • mancityRed6

            that and I have to get up early to go down to the gym in the morning so I can get my workout in and laundry done before anyone else shows up.

    • Wolf Tracker

      It’s nap time here. Put on a movie and immediately fall asleep. Back again for the Rachel crowd and open thread.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Liquor bought here too, for the boat… Jim Beam Black, my usual, but liquor store guy added it’s the same distillate, the same wood, and the same warehouse as Basil Hayden, but half the price…

      • laughingnome

        Good to know!

      • mancityRed6

        the last Beam I had was bonded. at 100 proof, it wasn’t anything to fuck with.

      • TheGrandWazoo2

        Before I had to quit drinking I was doing a lot of Beam’s Devils Cut and the Black. And speaking of ‘black’ whiskeys, if you haven’t tried Crown Royal Black, you should.

        • Beanz&Berryz

          I’ve seen the Devil’s Cut… And I’ll have to try the Crown Royal. The liquor store guy liked the JB Black double-barreled. It gets a new barrel half way through. More vanilla, and softens the rye of regular JB Black… But I kinda like a bit of Wry…

    • Panika MCD

      and when are you arriving at my place?

      • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

        Have you ordered dinner yet?

        • Panika MCD

          I was going to pick up some tacos. because: TEAM TACO!

          or I could just pick up some avocados and make more taco filling. because: what part of TEAM TACO did you not understand? (but I probably am going to save all that stuff for breakfast tacos.)

          • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy
          • Panika MCD

            what the balls did you do to those tacos?

            “those not tacos.” ~ Calliope Jane

          • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

            They’re . . . oh never mind.

          • Panika MCD

            fish tacos?

          • Rags

            Try Wahoo’s (chain) for some pretty good SoCal fish tacos. Also, too, barbequed salmon tacos are da bomb.

          • Panika MCD

            they opened on here. it’s alright.

          • mancityRed6

            I used to buy the cheap KC boneless strips at the grocery store that was up the street. the ones that were marked down to be sold that day. a couple three hours at 230 with a BBQ sauce finish and cut them up for tacos.
            good times.

          • Edith Prickly

            NOM.

        • mancityRed6

          frozen pizza I bought last Saturday?
          yeppers.

      • mancityRed6

        it’s been 18 years since I’ve been in your neck of the woods. that was a ten hour drive from Joplin, leaving early on a Friday. it would add another 3 from my front door.
        although, it would be a mostly straight shot down I-35

  • altleftjohn

    Hand goes up, mouths go shut; you can’t explain that.

  • Panika MCD

    “oh, you wanted the last wonton? no wontons for you!” ~ NP

    • Beanz&Berryz

      But the General Tso’s chicken. Anyone else want the last of that?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Everybody else gets wonton. The Donald gets twotons.

  • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy
    • Edith Prickly

      WHOA IF TRUE. Prince Kushner is quite the little operator. Too bad his FIL will throw him under the bus if it keeps his saggy orange ass out of prison.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      He was put in charge of everything, including collusion.

      • Bobathonic

        Maybe he’s in charge of von Fuckstick, too. His minder, I suppose.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      Of course they did. How else would they have known to microtarget voters in swing states?

    • Mehmeisterjr

      What a combination! The personality of Darth Vader and the voice of Tweety Bird.

      • Roadstergal

        And the face of Draco Malfoy.

  • Poly_Ester

    I, for one, am waiting for the White House to serve Comet Ping Pong pizza at one of these soirees.

    • mancityRed6

      they had Fugazi play there once. if I ever get to DC while it’s still open, I’m going.

      • Daniel

        I read that as meaning the White House had Fugazi play. The current inhabitant could- developer wants, developer gets, it’s official.

        • mancityRed6

          maybe if the Obama girls liked a great little post punk band, that would have happened.
          not this one.

    • altleftjohn

      Couldn’t be worse than Papa John’s.

      • Roadstergal

        I’ve drunkenly scraped fuzzy stuff off of the refrigerator shelf that wasn’t worse than Papa John’s.

  • Scooby

    They didn’t know MAGA was Mexicans Always Get Amnesty.

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

      As they should!

      • Scooby

        Funny, but I was just thinking why are so many of the debtates in the US so stupid.

        • Bobathonic

          To fit the audience.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And they are burning their stupid red hats. Forty bucks out the window!

      I know we are supposed to somehow lead these people gently out of their suckerdom but how is that is even possible?

      • Scooby

        It’s a marketing ploy Trump will soon say he hates immigrants then they will have to buy new hats.

  • armed_bears

    I think I did not value Pelosi appropriately while Obama was in office. Trump is the dim bulb by which she gleams the brightest.

    • chicken thief

      I’m not sure why but I’ve never liked Pelosi. Having said that, I think she is one of the best Speakers of the House and Minority Leaders ever in the history of ever.

      Nancy knows how to herd the cats and count the votes.

      • You mean…we can haz leadership we do not persinally like???? How is that possible????

        • OutOfOrbit

          did you find my dicktionary?

          • Naw phone. I sux at txt

          • OutOfOrbit

            oh thats ok

          • Itrs iokj? Gfood!!$

          • OutOfOrbit

            are you cracked too? it snot just me?

          • Lord Jim

            That’s what SHE said. XD

      • ltmcdies

        One will never like everybody but Pelosi knows how to do her job.
        That is all

        • Roadstergal

          I’m never going to have dinner with her, but her doing her job makes a big difference in my life.

      • i think that’s the definition of the job.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      Umm. Is that a comlpiment? No. I suppose it’s surely not a comlpiment. Well, then, is it a compliment?

      • armed_bears

        Yeah… but pretty pale, I admit.

        • Damning with faint praise. Or fainting with damn praise. One of them two

          • armed_bears

            Or I was imagining one of those gems in the Smithsonian where you only see the sparkly bits when things seem their darkest… Maybe?

          • I like. I also like faint damns. Hard choices here

          • Spurning Beer

            …or praising with faint damns, too.

          • Oooo option 3 is nice

    • mancityRed6

      remember when she was the one with the normal sized gavel?

    • Lord Jim

      I’m with you on that. I didn’t realize that she was such a credit to the party.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      She got a lot done in her tenure, and Congress’ approval rating was sky high compared to any time since.

      Unrelated, I also enjoyed the time Barbara Boxer told Jim Inhofe to STFU.

  • Omg. Chuck and Nancy have the pee tape!!!!

    • Bobathonic

      Nah, but they convinced whiz boy Donnie they do.

  • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy
    • Marion in Savannah

      With a rusty garden weasel and votes.

    • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy
    • Really. Shut up mike. I usually defend you but with the supression and fuckery in mi you can shut up with that shit

      • I noticed back in 2011 that he was graciously ignoring all the shit in Michigan, while pontificating the hell about Wisconsin and the Occupy Movement.

      • ltmcdies

        I get that maybe for some Russia can be hard to swallow but geez Louise, voter suppression tactics are not new
        But man, does the “preogressive left” ever ignore the issue

    • Chyron HR

      At least HIllary was, presumably, smart enough not to vote for a neo nazi sex offender, which puts her ahead of 62 million members of Bernie’s pure, noble white working class.

    • Lord Jim

      Yeah, they showed her real good.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      That’ll teach her to have respect for people!

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Moore’s schtick wore thin a long fucking time ago. Claiming (in “Bowling for Columbine) that we don’t lock our doors in Canada because we feel so safe was the clanger that broke the camel’s back for me.

      I hear his one man show fucking sucks too.

      • ltmcdies

        I lock my door, I lock my car door .. and I bleed maple syrup
        Moore has become a caracature of himself and it’s too bad

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Remember when Moore was for Nader?

      “A vote for Gore is a vote for Bush.”

      ‘Both sides are the same’ mantra sounds eerily familiar….

    • not helping.

  • 3FingerPete

    OT: If trump visited your Air Force base and you were assigned to stand behind him as he made a speech how long could you maintain a passive smile?

  • chicken thief

    “… Pelosi, the only woman at the table of 11…

    So there was Trump, Schumer, Pelosi, and Ross. When do we learn the names of the Russians in attendance?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Not sure, but it would be measured in Planck time.

      • Lord Jim

        I’m still upvoting you for “Planck time”.

  • So at the meetin this week i got up for a brief thing and the boys started talkin over me. Lady who is not usually my ally goes excuse me guys but jen is talking. I was all….i love you usually mean a lady!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      A teaching moment…

      • Indeed. And that lesson is wimins hate man interupptous lots lol even if we do not like each other. In fairness it is not me she dislikes personally….i am just an easy scapegoat sometimes

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      If I had a nickel for every meeting where I was interrupted during my career, I would have a very nice retirement nest egg.

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        The men are getting seven cents every time they interrupt. Ten cents if they’re interrupting a black woman, and 13 cents if they’re interrupting a Latina.

        • Rags

          Isn’t there also a 10 cent trans bonus?

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            lolsob

    • Sheepshagger

      If it’s any consolation feminism is fully realised in my office. It’s me and five women. Some day I may finish a sentence but not any day soon.

      • That aint feminism XD feminism is equal…no one gets cut off cause of gender

        • Roadstergal

          We have a pretty equal M/F balance, and everyone gets their say. We have a female senior director and a female director under her. It’s taken some time to get here, but it’s a good place to be.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      How DARE you let the middle of your sentence interrupt the beginning of a man’s!!

      • Lord Jim

        The nerve of some people…

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        If you’re going to interrupt a man, honey, it better be to ask what kind of mustard he wants on his sammich. Just sayin’.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          It would be the least I could do to get that man’s last meal correct.

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            You are wonderful…

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            A murderous delight!

          • Bub, the cynical zombie

            Definitely.

    • Rebel Scum with permit

      For many years I was one of the few women managers in an office full of men. If I didn’t rudely interrupt, I didn’t get to speak.

  • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy
    • altleftjohn

      No shit, David?

    • mancityRed6

      so not just one, they shopped it around?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Bad for them, but if it puts them in prison, good for the country.

      • Rags

        Including Bannon!

    • Lord Jim

      Ruh roh!

    • chicken thief

      Not to worry. Jared got bored and left this meeting early also too as well.

      • Bub, the cynical zombie

        Once he realized they didn’t have any dirt on Hillary, he walked out.

  • Marsupial99

    asking if “Ivana Tinkle” is there.

    sigh… Ivanka. Her name is Ivanka!

    • jesterpunk

      Ivana Pissalot?

    • chicken thief

      Ivana Ivanka? Is that what Donald mumbles in his sleep?

  • Deborah Ujevich

    As a forever Pittsburgher no matter where I’m living, I am thrilled to see use of the word JAGOFF.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Yinzer so raht.

  • 3FingerPete

    Trump invents the word “rebellioness”.

    • laughingnome

      rebel lioness

      • mancityRed6

        the name of my new acoustic jazz funk reggae band

        • laughingnome

          Hey, your team spanked my reds last Saturday.

          • mancityRed6

            to be honest, the only reason I even follow them remotely at all is because the first ex said that the suburbanites followed United, but the people who lived in the city followed City. I might have one of those cheap 2′ long scarves somewhere. I think I left the scarf the ex knitted for me in their colors at her house.

          • Sophie McMillan

            Nope – this city gal has followed United since she was 5 ( am pushing 52 now). Most United fans i know are city dwellers. I grew up in manchester understanding it was a religious division like in Glasgow with Celtics/Rangers( although not as stringent) – not being religious I couldn’t tell which way it was divided.

          • mancityRed6

            I follow college basketball a little more regular, but still not as much as an avid fan.
            and I’ll forgive you for being a United fan, at least you’re a fan.
            yeah, no…good god…those Scots take everything way too seriously.

          • little miss high and mighty

            Klopp say “Better to losse once 0-5 than 5 matches 0-1”
            we love us some Klopps!

    • Beanz&Berryz

      If he could do that on purpose, instead of cuz he’s a moran, he could come wonk here also too…

    • Oooo me. Like

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      And “euphenism”

  • 3FingerPete

    WTF?

    “No one had ever seen anyone launch a B-2 from an aircraft carrier.”
    – Trump talking about Jimmy Doolittle’s WWII raid over Tokyo.

    • Beanz&Berryz

      No he did NOT say that…. Did he?

    • RMKH

      Because his IQ is single digits, he thinks bomber designations should be also.

    • Bub, the cynical zombie

      Still haven’t, moron.

      I know he meant to say B-25, but ffs.

      • 3FingerPete

        It was a teleprompter speech. He probably doesn’t know anything that was in that speech.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      It was a stealth raid.

      Also, the aircraft carrier went through a time portal so Kirk Douglas and Martin Sheen had to improvise using only what they had on the ship. Nobody knows this except James Farentino who was left behind when the ship was transported back to the present day.

      All in all, it was one hell of a storm.

    • Bobathonic

      Commander in Chief. What a vapid fucking idiot.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Now I really want to see a B-2 cat shot.

    • Vel Venturi

      Oh for fuck’s sake.

    • Scopedog
  • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy
    • Lord Jim

      OK seems quite the little den of sin.

      • Roadstergal

        New license plate slogan – Oklahoma Is Really Not OK

      • Shanzgood

        There must be something in the (table) water.

        • Lord Jim

          Hah! You Kansans did it to distract everyone from the shame of electing Browshirt TWICE!

          • Shanzgood

            There was some controversy about the second time because it was so close and there were some statistical anomalies, but of course Kobach wouldn’t allow any investigation into it.

          • Lord Jim

            Because ELECTION fraud couldn’t possibly happen. VOTE fraud? All day long. Fuckin’ dirty brown people…

    • laughingnome

      Repression leads to weird shit

      • Parakeetist

        Oh yeah

    • chicken thief

      Why doesn’t he just jack off to porn like the rest of us?

      ~ Ted in TX

    • An Outhouse for the résistance

      Its all that fracking fluid in the water. Makes you horny.

      • Rags

        “Oh, Oklahoma encourages FRACKING. Never mind.” – OK sex offender pol.

    • Alan

      And nobody’s surprised.

    • georgiaburning

      You don’t have to be a sex offender to become a Republican candidate, they provide on-the-job training

    • Iron Monkey

      They have a deep bench of disgusting sex criminals.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Sex crimes. Schmex crimes.

      If the Republican Party could accept Denny Hastert as a leader and continue to enforce the Hastert Rule after he was exposed as a brutal serial rapist, that says everything that needs to be said about their attitude towards sex crimes.

    • Parakeetist

      Eeeeew.

      What is going on over there?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      “Oklahoma Republicans have gone on a spree of getting caught in sexual misconduct this year.”

      FIFY

    • phoenix00

      The best people.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      Family values.

  • jesterpunk

    Wow there are still people complaining about Hillary in the “Bernie isnt Messiah” thread.

    • RMKH

      Shhhh. Don’t tell them we’re all over here.

    • Edith Prickly

      Not going over there, gonna let them bore the shit out of each other…

    • laughingnome

      Okay come at me bros – but Bernie’s personality is totes annoying and he will never win a national election. I like some of his ideas and voted for him in the primary because I knew he was going to lose it but wanted to put some pressure on Hillz to move her left – she did move left – I’m sure not from my vote alone.

      • chicken thief

        He did fill a void that Hillary ignored or was not aware of.

        • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

          The shitting on Obama void?

          • cleos_mom

            Or maybe the “African Americans, Latinos, wimmins, gays, who the hell are they?” void.

        • laughingnome

          Yeah – I think he made her a stronger candidate and she won – except for our weird electoral college

      • Thiazin Red

        I do not understand for one second how people can think Clinton is shrill but are fine with his angry blustery lecturing finger pointing shtick.

        • Alan

          Sure you do. She’s a she.

        • phoenix00

          I’ll take “Presence of breasts and vagina” for $400, Alex.

          • cleos_mom

            I’ll see your $400 and take “penis and a Y chromosome” for $1,000.

          • phoenix00

            …. that’s very cheap, uhh, surgery?

          • sarafina

            You know you could get it for $200, women are cheaper.

          • phoenix00

            I guess that means she’s not making Final Jeopardy.

      • kareemachan

        He’s too damned OLD for the next prez election. Sorry, but true. Same with Hillary, and she is fine with this. Obama was relatively young, and look at the difference between before the presidency and after.

      • cleos_mom

        I suspect that the now-familiar quote

        I’ve never talked with Bernie Sanders, but I have been lectured to by him several times

        has more than one source.

    • Lord Jim

      Wow. Talk about sealioning.

    • CripesAmighty

      Oh, fuck. Hey, Dok. Can we have a ‘let’s relitigate the primary until we’re all a bloody pulp’ thread all its own? We can include everyone still pounding away on the Ali-Liston fight while we’re at it.

      • jesterpunk

        They can stay over there, its a dead thread except for the random new people showing up to scream how Hillary is worse then canned clams.

        • CripesAmighty

          Prolly ought just repost it every day. And to be fair, the Bernie-bashers ‘If it weren’t for that damn commie and those meddling millenial kids…’ are every bit as tedious

    • phoenix00
    • Pisto75666

      I thought that idea would eventually die. Nope. Not happening. Slice off two heads and four grow back.

  • AmericanAssassinCaptainHowdy

    Jesus. Is there a double-digit maximum allowed IQ for being a Bernie surrogate?
    https://twitter.com/WaywardWinifred/status/908445748907446278

  • Thiazin Red

    Ot kind of:

    From the New Yorker article Excerpts from the All-Girl Remake of “Lord of the Flies”

    “And another thing,” Jackie said. “Should we have a rule that whoever has the conch gets to speak? You know, so no one gets interrupted?”
    “But who,” ventured Simone, “is here to interrupt us?”
    The girls looked around. It was true: there was no one.
    They left the conch on the beach. Later, when they were rescued, the group agreed that Maura should take it home, since she was so crafty and could probably do something neat with it. Maura painted it sea-foam green and used it to store jewelry, which eventually inspired her to open her own Etsy shop, which was moderately successful.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      I laughed so hard through that whole piece.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      And then the murders began.

  • Aaron Wise

    I hope Trump wasn’t fucking with the Dems like he always does.

    • psychobroad

      He’s too dumb.

      • CripesAmighty

        A rudimentary, purely reactive creature: a poked clam.

    • kareemachan

      No, he doesn’t do that. He goes with the wind one direction, then the opposite. He doesn’t have a real opinion in his whole body.

    • Maybe

      I’m sure he is. I’m just hoping they can fuck back harder.

      Politics is all about deals. They’re all good as long as your side gets the lion’s share.

    • NotDarkYet

      The Dems need to make sure they have the last guy/gal to talk w/ Trump and/or to lather on praise on His Royal Orangity like there’s no tomorrow.

  • “There was, at last, silence, and she was not interrupted again.”

    It’s like the beautiful happy ending to a fairy tale. Imagine not being talked over by men?

    • Parakeetist

      Imagine.

    • Maybe

      When I worked as a technical writer I once took the new guy over to meet another tech writing department. From the moment we sat down the others (all guys) talked only to the new guy, apparently assuming I was a piece of furniture. Since it was his first day he had no idea what they were talking about–all shop talk–but to them it all seemed natural.

    • phoenix00

      A happier ending would’ve been a woman President, but nope can’t have that.

    • cleos_mom

      We women need to do a LOT more interrupting.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Maybe the Dems should try this angle: “Only 30% of the public can stand your guts. How’d you like the approval of the other 70% instead?”

  • mailman27

    “tinkling…all over ourselves'” Nancy P? Oh no you didn’t…

  • persistently_resistant_gayby

    Next time I hear any fucker saying we need new blood as leaders….

    I’m gonna stomp defiantly screaming “NANCY MOTHERFUCKING PELOSI”

  • phoenix00

    SHE PERSISTED

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  • cleos_mom

    As Pelosi, the only woman at the table of 11, tried to make her point — that the president gets the cooperation of the Democrats, which he will likely need on a host of
    issues — the men in the room began talking over her and one another.

    Sessions would have told her tht’s as it should be. She should have waited and asked her husband at home.

    • Ms.Moon

      Then he probably would have had to go home or the ER because she stabbed him with her eyes.

  • MyLovelyNose

    She really said TINKLE? I wish she hadn’t followed up with a reference to
    Democrats tinkling on themselves, that was unfortunate.

    • sarafina

      Nancy is quite aware of her audience. Unless you are a member of the U.S. House of Representatives, get over yourself.

  • LadyLaz

    I like Nancy. Way underrated.

    • CATMAN

      And, she can count all the way up to 218

  • Brittany Wilkins

    Wow. Trump really is a man-baby. You have to use small words and pretend words that mean the same thing actually don’t.

    This is crap.

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