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True fact: Someone has to follow the president around with a baggie.

It’s hard to tell yet whether the “save the DREAMers” deal Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi said Donald Trump agreed to over dinner Wednesday night is anything but wishful thinking, but since it’s a Trump promise, let’s just assume he’ll break it first chance he gets. Or, more likely, Schumer and Pelosi presented what they think is a good idea for a bill to protect those who’ll otherwise be deported when their work permits end, and Trump said “yes” very eagerly with no idea what he was saying yes to. As it was, the White House had already issued a partial retraction of one part of what Schumer said Trump had agreed to before the pixels were even dry on most news websites, and by this morning, Trump had taken to Twitter to deny both that he agreed to anything and that he’d broken anything.

So here’s what Schumer and Pelosi said, in a statement released shortly after they left their dinner with Trump (Chinese food and chocolate pie). They had

a very productive meeting at the White House with the President. The discussion focused on DACA. We agreed to enshrine the protections of DACA into law quickly, and to work out a package of border security, excluding the wall, that’s acceptable to both sides.

The first part of that to go by the boards was the bit about the agreement on border protection “excluding the wall,” as Sarah Huckabee Sanders tweeted, no doubt shortly after wiping chocolate pie off Trump’s face and screaming “excluding WHAT?!” at him:

So maybe the pretense that Trump really cares about the wall will last a while longer, although WaPo also notes that after a meeting earlier Wednesday with House members of both parties,

several Democrats involved in those talks said the president also had made clear that he did not expect border wall funding to be included in a legislative deal on the dreamers. They said Trump was not giving up on the wall but that he emphasized the money could be added to another bill, though he was not specific.

Wall good. Wall only campaign promise Trumpers still cling to, so Wall stay. For now. Until nobody will vote to pay for it, at least.

Trump took to the Twitter machine this morning to declarify the outcome of the meeting:

That wall is really being built, if by “being built” you mean “nothing but maintenance on existing fences.” Also, since we just fixed the rearview mirror in our ’96 Oldsmobile, we’re happy to announce our new Tesla Model S should be delivered any time now. But after insisting there was no deal on DACA, no, no, no, Trump immediately made the case for a deal on DACA:

And some truly magnificent chocolate pie. Whatever Schumer and Pelosi managed to get Trump to say yes-ish to Wednesday night, he was backpedaling on this morning, and any deal would still depend on Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell agreeing to bring it to the floor. DACA recipients probably shouldn’t be bringing home any pets that live longer than a Betta fish just yet.

Even though Trump hasn’t agreed to anything beyond a second helping of moo goo gai pan (with extra frosting), it was enough to set WaPo to speculating that Trump is showing “signs of shifting strategy to cross the aisle and work with Democrats in the wake of the high-profile failures by Republicans to repeal the Affordable Care Act.” There was even a sidebar story Wednesday night — now relegated to a much smaller font on WaPo’s homepage — with the optimistic hed “‘There really is a new strategy’: Democrats wary but hopeful on Trump’s outreach.” Who are the dreamers here?

Even the possibility of a deal to normalize the status of DACA recipients had rightwingers making funny squeaking noises Wednesday:

Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa), an immigration hard-liner and early Trump supporter, wrote that if reports of a potential immigration deal are accurate, the president’s “base is blown up, destroyed, irreparable, and disillusioned beyond repair. No promise is credible.”

King just wants to know: What about all the beautiful white babies? Won’t anyone think of the white babies? And their white ethnostate? And his beautiful car? And his beautiful wife?

The folks at Dead Breitbart’s Home For Nervous White Men were also in high panic mode Wednesday, even before the Schumer-Pelosi statement, at the possibility that Trump might “choose a legislative deal that quickly legalizes the nearly 800,000 illegal aliens on DACA[.]” Did the piece mention who exactly those “illegal aliens” are, and how they were brought to the USA as children? Don’t be silly! They’re illegals!

And Ann Coulter? Yeah, She kind of went loopy. Or loopier:

Friend Of Wonkette Charlie Pierce put things in perspective: all that is Trump melts into airheads.

So while we’re delighted that Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi managed to get Trump to say “yes”-shaped words at dinner, between his repeated dives into the chocolate pie, we’re not expecting much more than a line in another “Trump broke a promise!” feature down the road. He’ll ultimately follow the call of his very base Base. It’s little more than another case of Trump agreeing with whoever’s in front of him at the moment.

Next time, Chuck & Nancy should show up with a Trump Tower taco bowl, really good ice cream, and a nicely typed letter of resignation. And bring a notary.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click right here! There will be chocolate pie later.

[WaPo]

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  • memzilla Ω

    Twitler? Pivot? This asshat couldn’t pivot if he was in a pool of 10W-30 filled with ball bearings.

  • TJ Barke

    Your stupid fucking wall will not accomplish anything! Ladders exist. Shovels exist.

  • (((Alt-Sedagive)))

    The Trump Administration has really gone downhill now that some original characters have left and David Lynch is no longer directing.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      This is what happens when Brett Ratner takes over.

      • ariel_gee_398

        I’m just hoping we never get to the Michael Bay phase of the production.

    • Indiepalin

      What happened to Donna?!?

      • Jgb979

        I assume she caught the same face changing flu as Dianne.

        Even the sawmill plot got a shoutout with the second to last episode of the return. We saw some doc Hayward, Audrey, James, Laura/notlaura

        No donna

    • MrTusks

      So that bug-frog thing that crawled into that girl’s mouth was Bannon, right?

  • calliecallie

    “No promise is credible.”
    Steve King finally catches on.

  • Michael Smith

    Weird that Coulter doesn’t think that something like colluding with the Russians would be an impeachable offense, but does think that tweeting something nice about Illeages is.

    Doesn’t she know Trump is just tweeting stuff like that to try and support his argument that the DACA termination is about proper legislative procedure and not about throwing raw meat at his rabid base?

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      Doesn’t she know Trump is just tweeting stuff like that to try and support his argument that the DACA termination is about proper legislative procedure

      Objection, your honor! Assumes facts not in evidence! Dampnut doesn’t have the slightest fucking idea about “proper legislative procedure”. He just desperately wants SOMETHING, ANYTHING to attach his name on that would actually pass through Congress.

      • MrTusks

        I think he’s trying to stave off some of the 49 automatic “convict” votes at his impeachment trial.

        • Lascauxcaveman

          That’s prolly gonna take a lot more than legislating DACA.

  • Me not sure

    What Trump doesn’t say in his tweet is that the money to work on border security and maintain existing “wall” was voted for and signed into law by someone else. Who could it be?

    • ariel_gee_398

      You know, if Congress passed a law saying that Trump’s signature is to be superimposed over Barry’s in every bit of legislation he ever signed, Trump might buy it and stop trying to destroy his legacy.

  • Trump is a flea-ridden dog who’s tail wags when he gets anybody’s flea-scratching attention.

    Another reason I am a cat person.

    (runs and hides behind litterbox)

    • bbayliss

      Involuntary leg thumping.
      You can witness it for yourself over at breitbart right now.

  • Zonath

    I think Trump just feels like he should be taken furniture shopping a few more times here.

  • Scooby

    Quick, someone let him know Bernie is trying to repeal Obamacare!

    • Stulexington

      I just realized what they need to call it. Not Make Medicare Great Again or something that’s obvious pandering. Call it “The Repeal and Replace Bill”

      • GoutMachine

        That’s actually a really good idea. I mean, shit, Americans don’t know that the ACA and Obamacare are the same thing.

  • ManchuCandidate

    The Democrats have found out why Putin and other foreigners like Trump so much. The ability to use Trump’s neediness and narcissistic tendencies for their benefit.

  • bbayliss

    Dear Meatheads,
    The wall was a campaign slogan.
    Repeal and replace was a campaign slogan.
    You believed both because you’re stupid.

    • Daniel

      And because he said “believe me”. If you only had his extensive history of lying about everything to go on, you’d have no reason not to believe him. He has lots of shiny things, after all.

  • ariel_gee_398

    The sweet tears of a Breitbart commenter over the betrayal by “Amnesty Don”:
    Wake up! • 2 minutes ago
    We put up with being physically assualted and outcasts at work and with family to support you… and THIS is how you thank us?!?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “What’s this country come to when you have to eat by yourself in the cafeteria just for being a Nazi?”

    • Daniel

      They do love their personal responsibility, don’t they?

    • shivaskeeper

      How could they be physically assaulted? Don’t they ALL go everywhere, and at all times, armed?

      • ariel_gee_398

        Pretty sure “physically assaulted” is wingnut for “someone gave me a dirty look once”.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Gee, they thought it was safe to come out, and now find out they’re unwelcome?
      What a bunch of dreamers.

  • jesuswasablack

    “enshrine the protections of DACA into law quickly”
    I’m thinking Chuck and Nancy used the old “Obama couldn’t get DACA into law” line. Trump will do just about anything if he thinks it either undo or out-do something Obama did!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Quite frankly, I’m surprised Trump can spell DACA.

    • TJ Barke

      He has to ask an intern every time.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Thank God he’s doing “new renovation” on the Wall. That old renovation stuff isn’t worth a shit.

    • GoutMachine

      Reminds me of a sign I once saw outside a store in rural Virginia: “Antiques made daily”

  • gene108

    I want Congress to authorize the wall. I want Congress to specify the dimensions of the wall. I want the wall to be 1000 ft high, 1000 feet deep and as wide as needed to assure structural stability. And run the entire length of the border.

    I want motion sensors underground to make sure we are aware of any efforts to tunnel under it. I want radar, Doppler radar, Lidar and all that remote sensing technology on the wall.

    I want a moat, filled with sharks with laser beams on their heads.

    And I want to make a requirement it is up to the Executive branch to figure out how to have Mexico pay for it, before construction can begin.

    • Crystalclear12

      But I want it to be pretty!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Pretty as Ivanka. And with great tits.

        • starfanglednut

          A real 10.

    • Bright Bart

      badgers for the moat. they can go on land and sea.

    • MrTusks

      Put up gaydar too, just to be safe.

    • TheoLib

      Your comment reminds me of Chuck Berry’s “No Money Down”! Here are the approximate lyrics to Duane Allman’s version of the song:

      Well mister I want a yellow convertible, a four door DeVille
      Man I want a Continental spare and some white chrome wheels
      And power steering and uh a power brakes
      And a powerful motor with a jet off take
      Some nice cool air condition and some nice warm heat
      And a big old feather bedroom pillow in the back seat
      I want a ship-to-shore radio, a color TV, and a phone
      So I can talk to my honey while I’m riding alone

      And also I want four carburetors and I want two straight exhaust
      I want a nuclear reactor and I don’t care what it cost
      I want a railroad air horn, I want a psychedelic strobe spot
      And I want a 15 year guarantee on everything that I got
      I want a two dollar deductible and I want a 20 dollar note
      I want a 150,000 dollars liability and that’s all she wrote

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePuVlihHOS8

  • GoutMachine

    I like this new strategy of Chuck & Nancy’s. It’s throwing the GOP and the Tighty Righties all in a tizzy, regardless of what “deal” there may or may not be. They probably knew he’d go back on it.

    Popcorn munching ensues.

    • Even if Chuck and Nancy agreed to pay for the wall, the RWNJs would throw hissies because drumpf dealt with them.

  • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “Grandma, I HATE when you overdress for the simplest little outing.”

    • Daniel

      To be fair, if you show the uncropped image the person to her left is dressed as the cover of Animals and to her right as The Final Cut. It’s not her fault Trump supporters are uncultured graffiti writing boors.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Underneath, she’s a Atom Heart Mother.

    • Fartknocker

      It looks like they ran out the letter “I” at the Hobby Lobby because it looks as if she spelled the word “will” as “w1ll.” Petty comment from a liberal? You bet. But I didn’t look like a pissed off, unpaid putz sitting in the peanut gallery at a I Love Dampnut rally.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I can be petty, too. Are you sure that’s a she?

    • Michael R

      The last time we heard from Mr Mort R. Brickman .

    • Vel Venturi

      It’s kind of endearing that cosplay has become so popular.

    • SeeTrain65

      A man truly built like a brick shit house. From the brain down.

  • As gramma would say: Ann Coulter is like a slinky. Useless…but it does make you smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Nancy let him play with her watch. He’ll agree to anything.

    • Daniel

      When you’re infamous they just let you.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      God, I wish she had recorded the meeting.

      TRUMP: “I NEVER agreed to any of this!”

      PELOSI: “Hmmmm, about that…” *presses play*

      • GoutMachine

        HE’D BETTER HOPE THERE AREN’T TAPES!

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        “Never said that. Never happened. It was just locker room talk.”

  • Fartknocker

    Welcome back Dok to Season 1 of the Trump Shit Show. I’m glad you’re feeling better.

  • Asterix

    So Dem leadership thinks/thought anything Trump said would last until daybreak? Interesting.

    Upside – the RWNJs are pissed off. That’s always a plus.

    Chinese food and some chocolate… something…pudding, cake? Weird dinner for the White House.

    • GoutMachine

      It is, but not for this “president.” I’m assuming the Chinese food was served with ketchup.

      • Asterix

        Ketchup and duck sauce.

        Do you suppose it was delivery? And since when do Chinese restaurants have anything chocolate?

        • GoutMachine

          Good question. Also, is there even a White House chef anymore? Or is it just a red phone with a hotline to McDonald’s?

          • Daniel

            The White House is now filled with military personnel, the kitchen with Colonel Sanders.

        • I just want to set the record straight here.

          There is “CHINESE” food that ameros like to eat.
          Then there is Chinese food in all its glorious diversity.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuBFdAUYyL8

          • GoutMachine

            Amen to that. One of the best meals of my life was in Guangzhou.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I lived in China for a year and half or so. And eating the American version depresses me.

            ETA: I should add that I lived in Western China, too, which has a very different cuisine.

    • Dim sum odd desserts to serve with chinese food.

      • Zonath

        Chuck and Nancy excused themselves from the after chow Mein Kampf reading.

        • Covfefe

          Sweet & sour Don Don

      • Serai 1

        They have to serve it with everything, as they’ve got won ton of it left over from the Singleman affair.

  • There was even a sidebar story Wednesday night — now relegated to a much smaller font on WaPo’s homepage — with the optimistic hed “‘There really is a new strategy’

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b0cf937dc78d2814cadad622e9cc60020005fd308487fe8fb6bda8be75dc9612.gif

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    It’s not about strategy or tactical movement. It’s about whatever will give Trump good feelings in his no-no parts. It’s all ego.

    • GoutMachine

      Which is exactly how you play him like a fiddle.

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Give Trump good feelings in his no-no parts.” How on earth did you get your hands on Ivanka’s job description?

  • Bright Bart

    well everyone knows that the very bestest chocolate pie cake comes from MAr-a go-go So this cake was likely weak/sad. Trumpy undubidubly had two slices though.

    • bbayliss

      Frozen crust, chocolate pudding.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        I thought that was the sequel to Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon?

  • Lance Thrustwell

    It’s just like I thought. Trump is trying to have it both ways. Schedule the deportation of DACA recipients at the same time you praise them and shift the blame to Congress for their failure to ‘pass appropriate legislation’ – i.e. the DREAM act, though Trump won’t say that out loud – all the while winking to his base.

    Steve King is dumber than Trump if he can’t see what’s happening.

  • Blackest Noobs

    Trump doesn’t even want the wall. he knows that Mexico will not pay for it. he knows he cannot get Mexico to pay for it.

    it’s all there in the leaked taped convos with Trump and the Mexican President.

    the fact everyone has forgotten this is pretty big.

    ooooh sure he will talk wall wall wall…but in private there will be no wall.
    and Republicans will either blame the gays or Democrats or both on it…you know for no wall.

    • Don’t trump supports believe Trump is a bajillionaire, why not just get him to pony up for the fence monies?

  • cmd resistor
    • Thiazin Red

      If I saw that, for a second I would be terrified that I was in that one Twilight Zone episode with the giant alien toddler.

      • Daniel

        Whereas I’d worry I was in the one with the very tiny trucks.

        This is how they do “glass half empty/glass half full” in the uncanny valley.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I’ve never eaten moo goo gai pan. My life is a lie.

    • bbayliss

      Ever enjoyed a poo poo platter?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        The last time I had one I got food poisoning.

        • bbayliss

          wrong poo poo

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      It’s just stir fried veggies and chicken. The dish itself is kind of a lie.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I’m around the corner ordering it right now with an egg roll.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Don’t get your hopes up. Unless it has a ton of MSG in it, and then it’s pretty good.

          • Mr. Blobfish

            It’s tasty. Won’t supplant egg foo young as my go to meal, tho.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I really have a few restaurants that I need to take you to.

  • Crystalclear12

    Awwww, Nancy and Chuck have a new game!
    They are so cute when they are playing!

  • WIDTAP

    “That wall is really being built, if by ‘being built’ you mean “nothing but maintenance on existing fences.'”

    To translate from Trumpspeak (formerly NewSpeak), that $20 million that the Border Patrol pullout out of patrolling the border and reallocated to border wall prototypes is what Trump calls “being built”.

  • cmd resistor

    OT, but in important news, Melania was wearing flat (dress) shoes when she got on the plane to Florida.

    • WIDTAP

      She learns quick, that one.

      Not so much for the Sec. of Treasury and his wife.

      • cmd resistor

        I also noticed they both had white pants (maybe hers are off-white). Very practical. The video I just saw of him running his mouth in Ft. Myers (looked like airport) did not show her so I don’t know if she changed her shoes. Also, too, I had the sound off so missed his actual words of wisdom.

      • TundraGrifter

        What a pathetic excuse! He asked for an Air Force jet to have secure communications? #seriously! Did he think he was the first cabinet member in the history of the US of A to travel overseas? He’s just another entitled suspender-snapper who confused brains with a bull market and a generous dose of luck.

        • WIDTAP

          “When your rich, they think you really know.”
          – Tevye

    • Alan

      That’s presidential!

      • BrianW

        For some reason I heard this in Paris Hilton’s voice.

    • Daniel

      This is the moment he became President.

      • kaydenpat

        Again.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Please tell me she’s wearing a “Florida” cap.

      • cmd resistor

        She didn’t have a hat on when they left DC and I didn’t see her in the clip after they landed.

      • cmd resistor

        So once she got to Fla. she put on a plain white baseball cap. Also, too, changed to tennis shoes.

  • jesuswasablack

    Chuck and Nancy need to get another meeting with Dump and discuss how Obama couldn’t get single payer past, he couldn’t end the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, he couldn’t close guantanamo, he couldn’t raise the minimum wage, etc. I’ll post this picture again just for reference!

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C26lJduUoAAxpcU.jpg

    • Daniel

      Also, just for shits and giggles, how Obama was never able to fuck the toaster.

      • (((fka_donnie_d)))

        Excellent

    • Serai 1

      I do like the outline colors. Just RUB IT IN WHY DONT’CHA.

  • Alan

    We could fund a few feet of wall on the condition that Ann Coulter gets sealed in it.

    • Daniel

      With votes.

      • Alan

        Nah, with concrete. She can have a straw to breath so we don’t break commenting rules.

    • bbayliss

      Since she’s made of rubber and glue.

      • Alan

        Which hold together the evil and stupidity.

    • Raan

      For the love of God, Montresor!

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Once again, I am too slow.

    • TakingAmes

      We could freeze her into a panel of carbonite, like Han Solo.

    • WotsAllThisThen
  • kaydenpat

    The wall is symbolic and already being built according to some delusional Trump supporters. Anyone who believed that Trump was going to build a physical wall along the entire Mexican border and get Mexico to pay for it deserves to be bitterly disappointed by their own stupidity.

    • I can just imagine them trying to build a wall through the Rio Grande…

      • Daniel

        “I was told there’d be a dancer here? On the sand? SAD!”

        • Serai 1

          Look closer. She’s really tiny.

      • shivaskeeper

        That was one of the other problems with the whole idea: How much of our territory do we give up? The wall cannot go on the border border, so it will have to be in our territory. A couple of hundred feet? A mile? More? Less? No one knows because they were never going to built a wall.

        • kareemachan

          And when they tried eminent domain to get the land, the lawsuits would take YEARS.

          • shivaskeeper

            As was pointed out to me last night, there are still lawsuits from the Bush years in the courts.

    • TakingAmes

      They thing is he won’t actually have to build it. You can just tell the base that you did and they’ll believe it. They’ll never actually travel to the border to see it, so it won’t matter.

      • kaydenpat

        That’s probably true. Trump supporters aren’t the brightest folks.

  • Michael R
  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I’ll be he found out that Chuck got two pieces of pie.

  • Mavenmaven

    And what’s worse apparently is that Trump apparently wore a navy jacket and black pants today.
    https://www.buzzfeed.com/samstryker/donald-trump-didnt-match?utm_term=.qjPpBKEJGl#.rkevbD1lmz

    • Someone needs to fire his drycleaners. How do you even get your suit tops and pants mixed up, don’t you usually hang those together?

      Wait, maybe it was Melania trying to mess things up in the closet?

      • weejee

        Tertiary syphilis.

      • cmd resistor

        My dad was kind of color blind on black/navy so he would always check with my mom on socks and stuff.

        • NotDarkYet

          When I get dressed in the dark, it sometimes happens that I put on a dark blue shoe with a black one — I tend to buy things that fit well in at least a couple of colors, esp. when shoes are concerned.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I actually have a really hard time telling the difference. Actually, come to think of it, everyone in my family does.

      • Mavenmaven

        Odd that Hope Hicks was wearing oversize navy pants today.

      • AnnieGetYerFun
    • Ghenghis McCann

      It could only be worse if he’d worn brown shoes to complete the outfit.

      • NotDarkYet

        And white socks!

      • starfanglednut

        A brown shirt would have been fine though.

    • Randy Riddle

      Trump would be the kind of guy that would wear white shoes after Labor Day.

    • TundraGrifter

      The navy “jacket” is from a suit. A navy blazer with black pants would be ok in winter months. For fall, light to dark gray pants would be a better choice. Tan in the summer, of course. But you just can’t wear a suit jacket without the matching pants.

      • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

        yes, he is a fashion disaster, isnt he? like 300lbs of shit stuffed into a 200lb $6k brioni bag…what a waste of good italian fabric

      • AmazingProfessionalCrastinator

        I thought *everybody* knew this!

        • TundraGrifter

          Many people don’t! Well, at least one, anyway…

      • Rags

        TAN??? YOU MONSTER!!!!!

        • TundraGrifter

          Summer only. With tan or brown shoes and a matching belt. Can’t pull it off wearing black shoes.

          What ever happened to solid color linen ties for summer? A great look with a light pastel shirt (white collar and cuffs). Now gone like the buffalo.

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I am glad you are here.

          • TundraGrifter

            You are too kind.

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Donnie in Florida, wearing another one of those ridiculous $40 “USA” hats he’s selling.

    • cmd resistor

      With hideous hair hanging out of it at odd angles. The only good thing about a those hats is they cover up most of his hair.

    • kaydenpat

      So we’re ok with a President Salesperson. Cool. /s

  • weejee

    So tRump was reaching out to Schumer by serving Chinese, like at Christmas. Was the chocolate pie for Pelosi – a Baltimore Catholic transplant in San Francisco?

  • wait! what?
  • Mr. Blobfish

    I will say that never has there been a president — with few exceptions; in the case of FDR, he had a major depression to handle — who’s passed more legislation, who’s done more things than what we’ve done, between the executive orders and the job-killing regulations that have been terminated. We’ve achieved tremendous success.

    • cmd resistor

      While in Florida, he can kill some more regulations. Oh, I forgot, there IS no regulation requiring nursing homes to have generators. So, we don’t have to kill the regulation, just the old people.

      • jesterpunk

        They can kill the patients rights to sue.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        I saw something on the news about regulations Florida put in place for new gas stations following a past hurricane when no one could get gas. They were required to have the place wired up to accept electricity from a generator. Problem is, they aren’t required to have a generator. So, no gas for you.

        • TundraGrifter

          What could possibly go wrong with a small private generator operating next to a gas station?

          • Serai 1

            Yeah, I was just gonna say, probably a good thing considering it’s Florida.

          • TundraGrifter

            Here’s an idea – how about a hand pump? Just some big ass handles. You want gas? Pump it. Back in the day you swung the level on the side of the tank to fill up the glass bulb at the top with as much gas as you needed. Then opened the hose and gravity took over and it went into the tank. I’ve done it a number of times myself and it worked just fine.

          • Serai 1

            I guess nobody thought to look for a copy of The Stand.

        • cmd resistor

          There are some federal nursing home regulations apparently going into effect later this year that require safe indoor temps but also don’t require generators. There are still 150 nursing homes in Fla. without power today.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Regulations? Where’s the Drumpf executive order canceling them?

    • DesertedPictures

      The effects of alcohol on your mind are profound! Stop drinking!

    • TundraGrifter

      You can say it all you want. Mr. Trump is still the 2017 Philadelphia Phillies of American presidents.

      • RMKH

        Phillies libelz! At one point a couple of weeks ago, the Phillies had climbed within 1/2 game of the Giants in the race to avoid the cellar. tRump is nowhere near any other President. He is the 1899 Cleveland Spiders of presidents.

        • Raan

          I’d say he’s more like the Montreal Wanderers. He won one (the election*), lost the next three (ACA repeal, debt ceiling, and now DACA), and his entire administration is burning to the ground.

        • TundraGrifter

          I’m a Giants fan and this year has been rougher than a cob.

        • SeeTrain65

          The Spiders in 1899 had all their best players “traded” (stolen) by the 1899 St. Louis Browns, as both teams were owned by the same person.

          The narrative fits. The 2016 Election was “traded” (stolen) by the Trump Campaign and Russia, who also were owned by the same person.

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Ooof! That’s gonna leave a mark.

        • TundraGrifter

          Or he could be the American presidential equivalent of the 76’ers from several recent years…But I didn’t want to be too harsh.

          • Mr. Blobfish

            What’s up with all Philly sports teams lately?

      • TakingAmes

        Does that mean we get to throw batteries at him?

        • TundraGrifter

          “Philly. The fans are so tough they boo the little kids who can’t find any Easter eggs.”
          ~ Bob Uecker

      • kareemachan

        He’s the Smead Jolley of prezdents….

    • NotDarkYet

      Satire, I hope?

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Donald J. Trump, June 12, 2017

        • NotDarkYet

          Oh dear FSM–I have arrived at a place where reality and fiction have merged, and I am unable to discern the difference between the two.

          I need to take something against that,
          but the question is what?

      • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

        who needs satire when the truth (that we cant handle) is stranger?

        • NotDarkYet

          I had missed where Trump actually said that. Honestly, more and more of what he says and does feels like really off the charts weird performance art.

          When someone transcribes what Trump says, for example, Mr. B. did, I honestly thought that was satire, along the lines of A Modest Proposal.

          I remember reading this the first time (and thinking: wow, someone is really going over the top making fun of Trump)–of course, it’s an exact transcript of what T. actually said:

          Look, having nuclear—my uncle was a great professor and scientist and
          engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very
          smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart—you know, if
          you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if
          I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest
          people anywhere in the world—it’s true!—but when you’re a conservative
          Republican they try—oh, do they do a number—that’s why I always start
          off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune—you
          know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a
          little disadvantaged—but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that
          really bothers me—it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important
          as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me
          many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would
          explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right—who would
          have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four
          prisoners—now it used to be three, now it’s four—but when it was three
          and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and
          it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that
          the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna
          take them about another 150 years—but the Persians are great
          negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just
          killed, they just killed us.

          • mfp, all 6s&7s&9s

            he’s a walking, talking caricature of….i’m not even sure what…another caricature?

          • NotDarkYet

            It’s caricatures all the way down!

  • Mavenmaven

    Do you want another scoop of ice cream? Just say “yes”… there you go.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    I think Schumer has the pee tape.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Just tickle his wattle and Trump will do anything.

  • Serai 1

    OT: Is Rachel talking with Hillary tonight, or was that last night? And if it was, anybody got a link?

    • Vincent Ricola

      Hillary was on Anderson last night. Rachel is tonight.

      • Serai 1

        Ah, okay. Thanks! :)

      • chicken thief

        Hillary is on Rachel tonight? Huma gonna be so pissed!

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Please, like she won’t join in.

  • puredog

    But wait — isn’t Trump’s alleged new reversal on DACA itself the breaking of a promise to his base? So there’s no need to break the promise-breaking promise too. That’s just piling on.

  • Royal Ugly Globalist Dude

    “chocolate pie” sounds like a euphemism for something

    • bbayliss

      real pie?

    • chicken thief

      Let’s ask Santorum. I bet he knows!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Check with The Help. They’ll explain everything to you.

  • Edith Prickly

    Am I violating the Commenting Rules by hoping both Ann Coulter and Steve King’s heads explode like rotten cantaloupes if DACA stays in place?

    • Serai 1

      Since that’s exactly what’s likely to happen, I’d say probably not.

  • Jgb979

    I do love how “master negotiator” immediately yells SOLD to every first offer dems are bringing to the table.

    I guarantee you he gives 0 shits about anything that doesn’t make him richer in the process, and will do whatever he can to shut up this stupid boring non-huge politics and gets him back to watching TV the quickest.

  • Daniel Hooper

    I agree with Ann Coulter on something. *Shudder* I feel dirty…

  • Johnnymoreno

    Meanwhile at the offices of Breitbart and the RNC

    https://youtu.be/eVuf2ZdWru4

    • doktorzoom

      I haven’t even clicked “play” yet, but three cheers to the set designer for borrowing the look of the War Room from Dr. Strangelove

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Good flick. Matthew Vaughn, who did Stardust and Kick Ass.

  • godsaidHA

    Please keep that doggie the default photo for every picture of #45. I don’t want to see him anymore.

  • Flashman

    To save him the trouble, I have written David Brooks’ next piece for him:

    Obama said you can keep your doctor, Trump said we can keep our Dreamers. Everybody lies. All is futility. Meh.

    • chicken thief

      I’m going to write the Pegs Noonan piece but first I have to polish off this fifth of vodka.

      • BeachBum

        Da comrade, hope eet ees da goot stuff !

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        Ann Coulter: What is becoming of this country, that we welcome immigrants, and want our citizens to be healthy and educated?

  • Bitter Scribe

    Gee, governing is hard when you have to deal with different people who have strongly held differing opinions. Who knew?

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Not to mention having to deal with one person who has strongly held differing opinions than he held a few moments before.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    A notary – and cameras! Don’t forget the cameras!

  • The Librarian

    Yes, of course I want this to be a real thing, but if it isn’t, the amount of splody heads on the right makes it still worthwhile. *BOOM* Hahaha, there goes another one!

  • Poly_Ester

    The wall is a Trump vanity project, he’s not going to walk away from that.

  • Kgprophet

    It is all but obvious how quickly Trump buckles under when trying to actually negotiate. The dirty secret is that Trump has no notion how to actually conduct his bogus “Art of the Deal”. Time after time when confronted by smarter people than him, he kowtows for lack of intellectual capacity to counter any argument. Hence when anyone walks out of a meeting with Trump, they are convinced he is on their side, only to be double-crossed by a tweet the next morning stating the opposite.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I have a really, seriously, hard time believing the President has discovered he has a soul. There simply has to be something in it for him if he is expected to act human. What was it the character Admiral Ackbar said? Oh, yeah, something about a trap.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I think he enjoys sticking it to Ryan and McTurtle, whereas Chuck, an old New Yorker, is the kind of guy Trump likes to impress. Trump has never given a shit about policy.

    • phoenix00

      The Media wishing, wanting, pleading for the belief the President having a soul is what I personally have a hard time with.

  • cosmiccowgirl

    It’s starting to get embarrassing how every time Trump takes an inconsistent position on an issue he doesn’t understand WaPo and the NY Times jump on it as a new strategy.

    Even if the DACA deal doesn’t stick, Nancy and Chuck are doing a great job of fucking with Republicans.

    • I can picture them, after one of these meetings, when they’re out of sight of anyone else, looking at each other, and breaking out into uncontrollable laughter.

  • BeachBum

    I do not know what Republicans are so upset about. They wanted a guy with no experience or knowledge of government, to come in and make deals and shake things up. Personally, I don’t care to be shook up, as it spills my beer. Then again, I’m not a Republican.

  • Internet Hitler

    Moo goo gai pan? Not Donnie! Only real Chinese food like chop suey and egg foo yung with extra ketchup for our boy.

    I imagine Chuck and Nancy were discussing legislation and Trump was eating and not paying attention.

    “…and we really need to protect the Dreamers with a bill…”
    Don (chewing eggroll): “Mmmmf! I love it!”

  • BeachBum

    I’m beginning to think DonnieBoy enjoys the witty repartee and joie de vivre company of Chuck and Nancy much more than Mitch and Lil Paulie.

    • BrianW

      Trump: “Serpent handling? You’re talking about the size of my dick again, aren’t you? Motherfuckers. Chuck and Nancy don’t insult me like this.”

    • Geesquared

      Oh come on. Ryan talking about Ayn Rand has got to be almost as interesting as reading her collected works.

  • Geesquared

    Pretty clear now it happened like they said. Chuck and Nancy for the win! I still remember Pelossi saying right after the 2006 election that impeachment was off the table and I was pissed off, but this sure as hell makes up for it. I felt the need to email Pelosi to thank and congratulate her, and I’ve never done that before for any politician.

  • gratuitous

    Here’s a fun idea for our bored political reporters. If you get the chance, ask President Trump what he thinks of Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals. Don’t say DACA, but call it by its full name. Betcha he goes on for 30 seconds or more without betraying the first scintilla of knowing what you’re talking about.

    • phoenix00

      Same with the Affordable Care Act. Of course who wouldn’t want that?

  • whitroth

    Ok, folks, think about *this*: is the Orange Idiot genuinely starting to loose it? On his plate, all #1’s: Harvey, Irma, NK… and the Russian investigations that he *knows* are getting close, given that Mueller’s subpoenaing half a dozen for the grand juries.

    Is he hitting that wall of maximum adrenaline? To leave Chuck & Nancy with the impression they sorta-kinda had a deal in the evening, and to walk in back at 0-dark-30? Is he going upstairs and screaming so loud in aggravation and frustration that Melania has to go to another floor?

    Y’know, going back to something I was saying months ago, I wonder what he’s taking for the stress, since he allegedly doesn’t drink. And I wonder if they’re going to find him unresponsive one morning.

    • HazooToo

      Probably the same speed-like shit he’s allegedly been taking for years, which may also have gifted him with the memory of a flea and the attention span of a drugged toddler.

      • george lastrapes

        Do they make viagra for the ego? If so, has he been binging on it?

    • george lastrapes

      Druther have him making deals with the Dems than have President Pence doing anything at all. Is the Wonkoverse going to be praying that Mueller fails? Think again of that dog finally catching the semi truck. Whatcha gonna do now, Sparky?

      • Keith Taylor

        Know exactly what you mean. I think. Trump is too inept and has too short an attention span to get anything done … except make promises and then break them. But Mike Pence has a Dominionist purpose strongly in mind, like Betsy DeVos. She’s the perfect instrument for the theocratic dictatorship technique of “Make ’em ignorant and keep ’em that way.”

        • george lastrapes

          This just in: Ann Coulter made pro-impeachment noises. If I have one guiding light in my political philosophy, it is this: if the Couthless Runt is for it, I am diametrically, implacably, mouthfrothingly against it.

  • JD Mulvey

    If people are so damn uppity about Trump’s campaign promises, where’s the outrage that he hasn’t ended the carried interest deduction?

  • So the Great Dealmaker got “Chuckrolled” ??

    • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

      And turned into a Nancy Boy. 😯

  • Zyxomma

    Thanks for the Once in a Lifetime reference, Dok. Made me smile, and I needed that.

  • george lastrapes

    I feel a new trumponym coming on- like a migraine- and it’s- it’s- the P(us)sychopath.

  • eddi_the_Bad_Hombre

    First there is a deal. Then there is no deal. Then there is.

    He tries to get normal people to notice him. He begs his base to ignore everything he said. Then he tries to make sure the deal succeeds.

    And in the end he drops all the balls. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0aec7f3a6344241a886c6d13347f9cfe97c9319892dcf7fb505b1e5e05d9bab7.gif

  • Nick.Trite

    I have a very strong feeling that Chuck & Nancy are able to talk him around by telling him how much love and attention he would get from going with them. He’s allegedly finally cottoned on to the fact that people hate him, and even he’s not too dumb to realize it’s because of the company he’s keeping. Trump will go wherever he thinks he can get people to like him, now we just need Bernie to show him that single payer is outrageously popular.

    • phoenix00

      That’s exactly how you play Dump: appeal to his ego and vanity.

  • Petunia Cat

    Chuck and Nancy. Chuck and Nancy. It should be NANCY and Chuck. She’s the one who’s been doing this for over a decade.

  • Petunia Cat

    Oh man, I love your scenario about Nancy and Chuck buttering him up, getting him to sign something. And it’s a letter of resignation. If that actually happened… 😌 It would be the perfect end to this farcical presidency.

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