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Should that be a ‘Members Only’ Jacket?

The Kris Kobach Voter-Fraud Is Everywhere Circus rolled into New Hampshire Tuesday, and not everyone is in love with it. There’s no doubt the panel will eventually reach its preordained conclusion that, Yes, Virginia (and any other state that went for Hillary), There Is A Voter Fraud, but at least his latest round of stupid isn’t being taken at face value outside of the wingnuttosphere. Kobach’s claim that thousands of people illegally voted in New Hampshire in 2016 has been debunked, with everyone who knows the state shaking their heads and saying “College students, dude,” and now the few Democrats allowed onto the fraudulent voter commission are condemning Kobach for playing fast and loose with evidence. Or as the New York Times fastidiously puts it, “the most telling discussions of the [New Hampshire] session addressed declining confidence in the commission itself.”

New Hampshire’s own secretary of state, Democrat William M. Gardner, is a member of the commission, and warned against “the specter of extreme political partisanship” at work in the commission. Maine Secretary of State Matthew Dunlap, who also has a “D” after his name, publicly scolded Kobach for his claims about the 2016 New Hampshire vote. One member of the commission sent a long-distance denunciation:

Even a commission member not in attendance made his critical voice heard. The panel “should be expanding the rights of our citizens to vote, instead of arguably looking for ways to keep people from voting,” wrote Alan L. King, a Democrat and probate judge in Jefferson County, Ala., in a stinging letter.

“Some parts of our electorate wish to beat their chests on so-called ‘voter fraud,’ and there may be some isolated instances” of irregularities, he wrote. “But, I would venture to say, thousands upon thousands more people are stricken from voter rolls without justifiable cause or have their vote suppressed.”

And now we learn that Hans von Spakovsky, one of the Republicans on the commission, sent a message to the Justice Department in February warning that no Democrats — and no “mainstream” Republicans for that matter — should be allowed on the commission because they aren’t True Believers in the Vote Fraud fairy. The Campaign Legal Center got a copy of the email via a FOIA request. While the sender’s name was redacted by the DOJ, the Heritage Foundation confirmed the sender was Hans von Spakovsky, who, along with Kobach, is one of the top peddlers of the voter fraud myth. (See this outstanding New Yorker profile for more on his history of electoral fuckery.) And What did the Heritage Foundation’s Voter Fraud Expert have to say about the inclusion of anyone but True Believers on the commission?

See, If you’re going to have a commission on voter fraud, you have to make sure there are no Democrats, academics, or even mainstream Republicans, because they simply don’t understand the real truth of voter fraud. When it comes to voting, “bipartisanship” is as ridiculous as letting scientists testify before the House Science Committee.

Helpfully, the Heritage Foundation confirmed to Gizmodo reporter Dell Cameron that the email was written by von Spakovsky:

The Heritage Foundation is scrupulously nonpartisan. Hans von Spakovsky is a former member of the Federal Election Commission and has managed our Election Law Reform Initiative for many years. He brings a wealth of knowledge and insight to the discussion of voter fraud, and holds strong views on the topic. The views expressed in the email are his own

Funny thing, though! Shortly before Gizmodo posted its story Tuesday, Pro Publica reporter Jessica Huseman asked Spakovsky if he had written the email, and he said nuh-uh, wasn’t him:

By this morning, Huseman doesn’t appear to have received any follow-up answers from von Spakovsky or the Heritage Foundation, but here is a very nice recording of the guy claiming he never wrote the email:

Friend of Wonkette Charlie Pierce was there and heard the denial as well:

Dell Cameron, the Gizmodo reporter, thinks it rather strange von Spakovsky doesn’t recall saying No Dems (or AcaDems) allowed:

Needless to say, this doesn’t look so great for the ol’ Find The 5 Million Illegals Who Voted For Hillary Commission, since it’s just one more sign that it’s stacked with rightwing hacks. Vanita Gupta, the former head of the DOJ’s Civil Rights Division under Barack Obama, tweeted that at a minimum, von Spakovsky should resign, but really, the commission should just be disbanded since it’s rotten from the get-go:

At Mother Jones, voting rights expert Ari Berman notes von Spakovsky is hardly new to the game of political ratfuckery; in 2005, while he was working in George W. Bush’s DOJ, von Spakovsky wrote a pseudonymous law review article praising voter ID laws — at the same time he was part of the legal team “deciding” whether Georgia’s voter ID law was legal under the Voting Rights Act. Fun, huh?

Justice Department ethics guidelines clearly stated that von Spakovsky should have recused himself from consideration of Georgia’s law, given his longstanding advocacy for voter ID laws and the strong viewpoints in his then-anonymous article. Instead, he played a key role in approving the law, among the first of its kind, even though several lawyers on the review team recommended that it be blocked for discriminating against African American voters.

Still, you have to give von Spakovsky some credit: He was right in predicting that no one outside his cabal of voter fraud fetishists is convinced that his hobbyhorse is even a real thing. If only he’d yelled “Deep State” and “Leftists!” a bit louder.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please help us help Hans von Spakovsky recover his memory.

[New Yorker / NYT / Gizmodo / New Yorker / Mother Jones]

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  • Beanz&Berryz

    SpazCoughsky is an unfortunate, but deserved, name…

  • Marion in Savannah
  • Walter Wellstone

    Hans von Fuckface.

  • Parakeetist

    No matter what Trump Asshole thinks, this is not a monarchy.

    • calliecallie

      Not yet, anyway.

    • Gayer Than Thou

      If it is to be a monarchy, can’t we at least have Betty Windsor? Or her hot grandson – he needs a job, after all.

      • Parakeetist

        Yes.

  • Scooby

    Ironically, Hands von Spankoffski was my porn name.

    • Bright Bart

      was? you got something better?

  • kareemachan

    So many shits in the repug party. And yes, there are those in the Dems as well, I realize that. But the sheer number of people who are MORE than willing to screw everybody over for money, power, whatever is breathtakingly horrific.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    The Heritage Foundation is non-partisan? Then how come all they ever come up with is right-wing bullshit?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      They’re non-partisan in the sense that they praise Republicans and condemn Democrats equally. Equal time = non-partisan. QED!

    • SeeTrain65

      Again, from CPP:

      This bouquet of fragrant stable droppings held up for approximately 90 minutes, at which point Heritage spokesperson Sarah Mills issued the following statement.

      The Heritage Foundation is scrupulously nonpartisan.

      (Sorry, the sheer audacity of that statement got caught in my throat for a minute.)

      Hans von Spakovsky is a former member of the Federal Election
      Commission and has managed our Election Law Reform Initiative for many
      years. He brings a wealth of knowledge and insight to the discussion of
      voter fraud, and holds strong views on the topic. The views expressed in
      the email are his own.

      Yeah, the day ended with a lie from Hans von Spakovsky that was so easily debunked that it was an insult to all sentient beings everywhere.

      Which was pitch perfect.

    • Timothy Watson

      They claim to be so they don’t lose their precious tax-exemption.

      • FlownΩver

        They give tongue baths to all fascist, racist plutotheocrats regardless of party affiliation. That there’s some gen-you-wine nonpartisanship, that is.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I’m surprised he didn’t try to bar minorities and limit the commission to white males.

    Oh wait, he did say hard core Republicans only.

  • SeeTrain65

    Speaking of Charlie Pierce, his take on this “Charlatans Cotillion,” as he termed it.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a12234642/kobach-voter-fraud/

  • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

    THIS WHY WE NEED TO BRING BACK THE POAL TAX SHEEPLE!

    • willi0000000

      what we really need is a pol tax*

      * 10% of salary every time a pol tells a lie.

  • memzilla Ω

    Making fun of Hans von Spittoonsky’s name is a cheap joke, but so is this farkakte “commission.”

  • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

    Hans von Spakovsky – if he didn’t already exist, wingnuts would have to invent him. He is the perfect example of a spineless, feckless, soulless quisling who would step on his own mother while wearing golf cleats if it meant a little more power for him.

    • willi0000000

      his mother would like to speak to you . . . unfortunately, he sold her.

      • FlownΩver

        And she was still wearing those golf cleats.

  • Bright Bart

    “we are concerned this commission is being organized in a way that will guarantee it’s failure”

    that’s just ironic on so many levels hahahaha!

    • Spotts1701, Nothingburger Chef

      Sure, it’s gonna fail. But in the meantime they all get to rake the taxpayer for a lot more cash.

    • Zombishroom

      I wonder what they would consider success. Purging D voters?

      • willi0000000

        . . . and the two or three non-crazy Rs left.

      • FlownΩver

        Purging is the marginally acceptable treatment. They had to step it down from boiling alive.

  • Baconzgood

    You can’t let academics discuss voter fraud because what would they know with their published papers and rigours cross checking the facts and reputations for impartial study of a subject they are experts on.

    Baaaaah. I hate those egg heads so much.

  • calliecallie

    Hans is concerned the commission is organized for failure while the rest of us are concerned this whole administration is organized for failure. Actual, we’re concerned, but we’re rooting for it, also too.

  • bubbuhh

    Commission should be renamed “Commission on Electoral Fuckery.” Kobach should be titled “Head Vote Fucker.” Hans von Spakovsky and hiz ilks should be called Assistant Nazi Vote Grabbers. See how they iz nicely non-partisan titles?

    • Jon Sussex

      It’s like they’re holding a gun with a silencer to the head of democracy. Oops, wrong thread.

      • FlownΩver

        Well, maybe not so wrong.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Apparently truth is no longer a bipartisan quality.

    • Brian Fowler

      Truth is the first casualty of war, including class wars and race wars.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        “We will have the classiest race war, believe you me. It will make your head spin.”

  • Aileen

    This is funny in an, OMG they’re so bad at this sort of way, but it is also hugely infuriating. Our democracy doesn’t work if we don’t vote. Making it harder for people to vote is deeply, thoroughly undemocratic. Unamerican.

    • DainBramage

      It proves that they don’t want democracy.

      • willi0000000

        they want a hereditary monarchy*

        * whoever inherits the most gets to rule.

    • grindstone

      It’s also making people more apathetic toward voting.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Kobach’s talents are being wasted here. He needs to be in the Middle East, securing peace.

    • FlownΩver

      Or just pounding sand. We’ve had quite enough of him around here.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    All of this is a tacit admission that the people, if they could just vote, would vote against Republicans and their platform.

    • willi0000000

      nailhead, meet hammer!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Kobach’s informed response that his fraud theory had been debunked was “NUH UH!”

  • Simple solution: National ID cards issued for free to all legal residents of the United States. Hire workers to come out to residents who cannot make it to a government office.

    Change election day to a Saturday, make voting mandatory, and make voting day a national paid holiday for all non-essential employees, with additional polling hours on the Friday before and the Sunday after, for those who have to work on Saturday. Provide public transportation to and from the polls for free that entire weekend.

    Yeah, yeah, I know, that would actually get more people to vote and thus would be counter-productive to the voter fraud commission’s efforts.

    • lucidamente

      Saturday and Sunday, like they do in those funny European countries.

    • Wild Cat

      I support National ID Cards for voting (free to everyone like a birth certificate or a SS card, etc.) but the paranoid pseudo-libertarians and loony Originalists and voter-suppressing fascists will scream “Government Overreach!” even though all our info is public now. (See Equifax.)

      • Bemused

        Also, the Christianist Anti-Christ.

    • jesterpunk

      Why does it have to be a single day? Why not have voting week that goes from Sunday-Sunday so everyone can vote with polls open from 8am-8pm local time?

      • JohnnieWHurwitz

        Boost your earnings on Google & make $99/hour by working from a home computer.
        on friday I bought a gorgeous Chrysler when I got my check for $9277 this munth. it’s actualy the most comfortable job Ive ever had . I actually started seven months/ago and almost straight away got over $99, per/hr . check
        !si293d:
        ➽➽
        ➽➽;➽➽ http://CheckMyGoogleProfitAdvisorReports/easy/jobs ★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫★★✫★✫:::::!si373l..,….

    • OutOfOrbit

      that’a mighty tall sammich y’all just made up thar!

    • bbayliss

      paper ballots.

    • Bemused

      I turned 13 when my dad was stationed in Europe. My Legal-Foreigner National ID card showed up in the mail on my birthday. I saw no evidence of the Anti-Christ.

    • georgiaburning

      National ID cards would make it way too easy to disburse benefits and enforce Reagan-era rules requiring employers to check citizenship or legal residency status. Far too many right-wing hot topics would be solved.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Communist!

    • NotReallyHere

      We have mail-in ballots in Washington state, and I really like it. I can vote at home at my convenience, and look up candidates on my computer. There are also free drop-off locations, so I don’t even have to use a stamp if I don’t want to.

      • godsaidHA

        Same in MN–mail-in ballots. (The night my mother died, in October, I walked around for a few hours and mailed off my ballot in her honor. So glad she’s not around to see this nightmare)

    • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

      If you’ll throw in a European style on the length of the campaign season that precedes the election (no more than three months, tops), I’m in.

  • lucidamente

    Reached for further comment, Hans von Spakovsky added, “Mein Führer, I can walk!”

  • BigCSouthside

    Republicans sure are good at wasting money of useless commissions.

    #FiscalConservatism

    • SeeTrain65

      “If we can’t steal money that’s not rightfully ours, we’re not doing our jobs!”

      • Nockular cavity

        “We have to justify our phony-baloney jobs!”

        • willi0000000

          ISWYDT
          – Governor William J. Le Petomane

        • WotsAllThisThen

          I didn’t get a harumph out of that guy.

    • shivaskeeper

      What money? Has this commission been granted any money or resources at all? Last time I looked they had not. But it is hard to tell since they are doing everything in the dark with no transparency at all.

      FFS compiling a database of all the sensitive information on all the registered voters in the country with the various checks and crosschecks needed to ensure accuracy in the database is going to cost a shitload of money. Getting people to reference, cross reference and filter through all that data is going to cost money. Unless we are to believe Pence and Kobach are going to do it all on their own.

      This has been a sham from the start.

      • BosGrl

        Those YouTube Excel videos are going to get a lot of hits.

  • DainBramage

    Politicians who use the power that the people gave them in this manner should be jailed for each and every citizen they disenfranchise. One year each, at a minimum.

    • SeeTrain65

      Even one day would be …

      … not enough. You’re right, one year for each count.

    • willi0000000

      . . . and none of this “concurrent” bullshit!

      [ consecutive! . . . and keep their bones inside the jail until sentence complete! ]

      • DainBramage

        Yes, definitely consecutive. I shoulda said that.

    • OutOfOrbit

      ou you silly toddlur

  • lucidamente

    Alternate audio files.

  • Baconzgood

    “The Heritage Foundation is scrupulously nonpartisan.”

    Hahahahaha. That’s rich. Like Fudgey Chocolate Cake rich.

    • lucidamente

      It has that fresh Jim DeMinty flavor.

    • SeeTrain65

      She did seem to misspeak the words, “glaringly partisan” there, didn’t she?

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Hey, it’s not our fault Democrats have no interest in fucking over the poors for fun and profit.”

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I love that the recipe says “Serves : makes one 8-inch three-layer cake,” which seems to acknowledge that once you make this cake, you will proceed to eat the entire thing right from the pan.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Leaning over the kitchen sink, with no pants on.

    • Bright Bart

      i think they meant non-Parisian, no frenchies.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I heard that Hans von Spakovsky is Kris Kobach’s secret gay practicing homosexual lover and they are totally gay for each other and are all the time having gay sex yup that’s what I heard.

    • OutOfOrbit

      i just read that on the intertoob so it must be twoo!

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Many people are wondering why he has not denied it.

      • Lord Jim

        He won’t even discuss the issue. Very suspicious.

    • He should answer the question.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Ugh — Spakovsky is one of those people who popped up regularly in Dubya-era voting-suppression cases, and who I’d completely forgotten about. That damn voter ID law he got passed in Georgia was overturned by a federal judge who said it was like a Jim Crow-era poll tax. The dude’s a fucking fanatic just as much as Alex Jones or Mike Flynn.

    • SeeTrain65

      And the firings of seven attorneys in the DOJ under W.
      And the resignations of 55 more in the DOJ’s Civil Rights/Voting Section over a two-year period.

  • MrTusks

    He’s a Republican, little things like widespread public rejection and judicial censure aren’t going to stop him from doing What’s Best For America.

  • Panika MCD

    Related Topic: Tsarina Von Clownstick has nominated Trey Trainor to the FEC.

    Trey Trainor is one of Michael Quinn Sullivan’s lawyers and is fucking crazy. he’s also trying to get Houston to pay for the religious right’s stupid litigation regarding recall of HERO. don’t let Trey Trainor happen to this country. he’s annoying enough at the TEC hearings.

    https://www.texastribune.org/2017/09/12/trump-nominates-texas-lawyer-trey-trainor-federal-election-commission/

    • willi0000000

      Trainor is a longtime attorney specializing in election law, campaign finance and ethics.

      . . . and apparently on the wrong side of all of those issues.

      • Panika MCD

        not just the wrong side–the CRAZY side.

    • Apparently, he also has a little issue with religion.

      • Panika MCD

        one a little issue? try ALL OF THE ISSUES, KATIE!

      • Lord Jim

        Interesting comment on that piece:

        We’re going to have to figure out a way to talk about the
        influence of reactionary Catholicism on contemporary politics without
        getting into a poisonous attack on Catholicism itself. This is a battle
        that is raging within the Vatican right now, and beyond the Vatican, in
        every country where the Church is represented.

        Reactionary Catholics–the ones who so feverishly hate His Holiness
        Pope Francis–are politically incredibly well organized and well
        connected. Throughout the West, there are close ties between the most
        reactionary elements of the Church, and ultra-rightist, authoritarian,
        and fascist secular parties.

        This relationship goes back generations: but it grew particularly
        corrosive during the rise of European fascism a century ago,
        intensifying throughout the Cold War era, and culminating in the papacy
        of the brilliant, charismatic authoritarian John Paul II.

        It has spiraled out of control in recent years, particularly in the
        US, where four of the most ultra-rightist members of the Supreme Court
        majority are Catholics (again, this isn’t about the Church–one of the
        most principled members of the Court’s minority is Catholic as well–but
        about the disproportionate influence of reactionary factions within the
        Church).

        The influence of Church Militant and other reactionary Catholics
        within this administration is well-documented, but terribly difficult to
        talk about. We all fear falling back into the kind of anti-Catholic
        bigotry that once plagued the Kennedys and other prominent Democrats.

        But in an era when critical–potentially radically regressive–
        decisions are being made about LGBTQ rights, about contraception and
        abortion rights, about free speech rights, and about the rights of
        women, it seems to me we have a moral obligation to be very open about
        the different influences at play in our national politics.

        One of the most pernicious of these influences comes from the radical
        right wing of a Church that opposes all those things fiercely and
        unapologetically and dogmatically. We need to be able to find a way to
        talk about this openly, forcefully, without deteriorating into
        anti-Catholic bigotry.

  • x111e7thst

    Hans von Spanky is making his sex face on the TV? Is that even legal?

  • Maybe

    Does Hans realize that if you form an investigative committee with your conclusion already decided that it’s not really investigating anything?

    Packing the ‘jury’ is also suspect.

  • Jen Rubin has a nice piece on this topic today.

  • Indiepalin

    Everyone on this so-called committee should be tested for illicit drugs and anyone with a negative result should be dismissed immediately.

  • SDGeoff3

    The Heritage Foundation is totally nonpartisan and always tells the truth.
    I so believe that.

    • therblig

      ever since they changed their name from “The Hate Foundation”, they’ve been on the up and up.

      • SDGeoff3

        I thought so. They seem nice.

      • mardam422

        Was once called the “Culture and Heritage Foundation”.

        • mary5920

          We certainly can tell which culture and heritage they value–at least, the worsest part of such culture and heritage.

  • therblig

    c’mon, the poor guy probably spent his entire childhood being called “Von Spaz”. cut him some slack.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      It ain’t about to stop, either.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      You mean he somehow escaped “von Jackoffsky”?

  • William
  • OrdinaryJoe

    Why do they always seem to be self hating assholes who are monumental liars?

    “Von Spakovsky, originally from Huntsville, Alabama, is a second-generation American whose German middle class mother and Russian father of minor noble lineage immigrated to the United States in 1951 after meeting in a refugee camp as displaced persons after the end of World War II.”

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_von_Spakovsky

    • george lastrapes

      Do he and Seb Gorka have the same resume-padder?

    • Red Bird

      I knew the “Von” had a pretentious sounds to it.

  • TundraGrifter

    There’s no point in having a witch trial if the judge doesn’t believe in witches.

    [There’s a fascinating New Yorker article on the Salem witch trials; if you can find a copy it’s well worth reading. Not Sarah Voll good, but interesting.]

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I’m sorry, but “Spakovsky”? Jesus Christ on a surfboard, it really is a bunch of Russian nesting dolls over there.

    • Red Bird

      If only they LOOKED more like foreigners.

  • Asterix

    Are there any non-Russians involved in this government?

    The Heritage Foundation non-partisan… umkay…

  • Me not sure

    Sounds like he’s Russian to judgement.

    • Yellerduck

      Hopefully he’ll be Finnish soon.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      No need to Minsk words

      • Me not sure

        Now, we’re really just Putin on airs.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          OMSK, that is so funny

  • OneYieldRegular

    Wait, there are no academics “that know anything about this or have paid any attention to this issue over the years”?

    This will be news to almost every university in the country.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Denies writing the e-mail he wrote?
    Why, it’s almost as if he knows he’s engaged in shameless ratfuckery.

    • george lastrapes

      This Spakovsky is just begging to be hounded into ignominy. What academic crudentials does he claim? Trump University PhD program?

  • george lastrapes

    Like a UFO fact-finding commission with only abductees on it.

    • BadKitty904

      Foxes deeply concerned about hen-house security…

      • george lastrapes

        Pedos with phony child-psychologist degrees.

        • BadKitty904

          Televangelists who “just want to help you”…

  • BadKitty904

    A fraud established by a joke. I hope Gardner livebogs every instance of Republican treachery and treason.

    • I want USD dollar amero records on how much tax payer money they spend on their fraud investigations.
      I want it in big neon letters on the CNN.

      • BadKitty904

        For starters.

  • BadKitty904
    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Please tell me this is satire. Please.

      • BadKitty904

        It is satire, but REAL Americans had better treat it as fact. Because the GOP – and Diebold’s owner is a prominent Republican – sure is.

  • Brian Fowler

    Why did he think he needed to send that message anyway? I’m pretty sure Sessions and Korbach wouldn’t have anyone they couldn’t control on their panel if they could help it.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Ohio is doing its part! Former Ohio Secretary of State J. Kenneth Blackwell is on the commission, so they have their token coverage.

  • Buzz1313

    If Republican Party ideas are so fantastic, wouldn’t they want as many people as possible voting?

    • Lord Jim

      You have answered your own question.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Yeggggsactly

    • The Librarian

      Lol, well, because they’re not fantastic and they know it, that leaves voter suppression.

  • Me not sure

    A Russo-German from Alabama. Isn’t that a sort of “white natioalist” trifecta?

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    So, you have to believe a proven lie to be on an investigating committee? I ask you, does that sound like America? What? Look at History? Psht…simply explained away by taking into account that, way in the past mind you, there may have been a few prejudiced people around…somewhere…who weren’t Republicans.

  • The Librarian

    If Hans was so sure about his voter id myth, why hide behind a pseudonym? Why lie about the letter? Could it be that he’s full of shit and has more fuckery up his sleeve? Now that he’s been outed, maybe he needs to take his magic bag of evil tricks, go home and live only in infamy?

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      better yet, ignominy.

  • armed_bears

    Q: What will the final report from Kobach’s commission spell like?

    A: Ummm… Depends.

  • exinkwretch

    Mark my words — you let them Ay-rabs and Messicans and coloreds and Mormons and Catholics vote, pretty soon them goldarned Russkies are gonna be messing with our business. Wait, what?

  • BearLeft

    “There are only a handful of real experts on the conservative side on this issue ….”

    Yeah, it’s a damn shame Heinrich Himmler and Adolf Eichmann are no longer available ….

  • JMP

    Next, they’ll set up a commission on vaccination and refuse to include any doctors, or nurses or scientists but only snake oil providers and conspiracy theorists.

  • The Flaming Carrot

    Oh, look. Just today, Hans Von Spakovsky published an article on the separation of powers preventing democratic tyranny. https://patriotpost.us/opinion/51250

  • puredog

    Wait — I thought it was the “three million illegals who voted for Hillary”? IS THE PROBLEM EVEN BIGLIER THAN WE THOUGHT?

    • Rickyphoo

      Yes, the ultimate goal of the KKKommission is to take away the vote of the other 60+ million who voted for Hillary as well

  • Internet Hitler

    I’d heard Kobach was insisting on an intelligence test for prospective commission members. If you have the intelligence, you are rejected for overqualificationism.

    • Peripatetic Poltroon

      Ooo. That’s sounds worthy of a massive snarkfest. Got a cite?

  • GreyWolfSC

    “The Heritage Foundation is scrupulously nonpartisan.” Jim DeMint. Done.

    • Lefty Wright

      Don’t laugh. They may arrest you. Republicans do not like being laughed at, especially in public.

      • Smibo

        Maybe they should try being a bit less laughable, then.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          That would mean taking responsibility for their actions…and THAT is unpossible for the members of the Party of Personal Responsibility.

          • Smibo

            I know! It is absolutely stunning to me, that the GOP claims to be that party. They also claim to be the Party of Fiscal Responsibility™, the Party of God™, the Champions of Democracy and The Only True Patriots. Oh, and Heritage is “scrupulously nonpartisan” now.

            Makes me wonder what Orwell would have to say about that, if he was still around…

          • Celtic_Gnome

            He’s not dead. He’s just alt-alive.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Von Spakovsky? The fuck, is this administration being written by wannabe James bond authors?

    • Dg Hacket

      You can just call him “spaz” for short

    • Smibo

      Not James Bond; Remember the film Raiders of the Lost Ark? The Nazi character who gets his face melted off near the end of the film? That character was based on Von Spakovsky. Or maybe it actually WAS Von Spakovsky.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    This guy’s biography on Wiki sounds just like one of those spy novels where the parents turn out to have been Nazi agents smuggled into the US in the confusion of the post-war period (thousands of Nazis made it into the US via this route, and had their records scrubbed clean by the CIA).

    He is “a second-generation American whose German middle class mother and Russian father of minor noble lineage immigrated to the United States in 1951 after meeting in a refugee camp as displaced persons after the end of World War II.”

    I cannot tell you how many thrillers I’ve read where the villains started out just this way. Only in the thrillers, the American-born offspring turns out to be a patriot and a hero who does the right thing even though it tears the family apart, whereas ol’ Hans sounds just as next-generation Nazi as can be.

    • Incoming Ham

      I am Von Ham, James Bond’s porcine nemesis. Anyone can do this.

  • Mike Steele

    Glad you’re up to snuff, Dok:)

  • Zyxomma

    What bothers me most about this (besides EVERYTHING) is that (white) Man on the Street doesn’t give a flying fuck, until it’s HIS name being purged.

    • Lefty Wright

      That applies to most things Republican bigots believe in. Why do you think so many people got upset when an actual repeal of the ACA was likely (it’s still not over, people)? When they voted for the GOP dicks, they thought that only those “other” people would lose coverage. Not them, they deserved it. Or the really dumb ones actually believed years of GOP lies that they could come up with some magic that offered a better, cheaper plan. When they found out that they, or their poor white cousins, aunts, and mamas were going to get cut too, they changed their minds. Not enough to refute the GOP and regret their vote, but to say maybe the ACA and Medicaid is not bad.

      • I think we need to quit with the myth of the average joe six pack economic anxiety republican voter myself.
        They are all out for themselves, and only themselves. That is why they vote GOP.

        • Smibo

          I’m convinced that there’s even less to it than that; they’d vote for a politician who told them that if they vote for him, he’ll make sure they lose their homes and have to live under a bridge, Just so long as the Pol also promised that “those people” won’t get a bridge to live under.

    • HazooToo

      I am really thankful that there were so many Check Your Registration commercials in 2016, because somewhere between the Primary and the General, I was mysteriously no longer registered at the right address. I had to fix everything, or I would have been told to go somewhere else on election day.

  • The Heritage Foundation is scrupulously nonpartisan. Hans von Spakovsky is a former member of the Federal Election Commission and has managed our Election Law Reform Initiative for many years.
    I Guess? If you consider bi-partisan to mean actively infiltrating one party and opposing anything and everyone not in the club to be nonpartisan?

  • Ya know, if the Dems were able to collect three million illegals and get them to vote, don’t you think they’d have been able to get them in the “battleground” states like Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin, instead of wasting them in states like California and New York which were going to go “blue” anyway?

    • HazooToo

      At this point, I would rent a school bus and drive them down to the polls myself, if I could.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    There are only a handful of real experts on the conservative side on this issue…

    What planet does this idiot with the furrin name live on?

    Last I checked, every fucking conservative in the country was an expert on this issue.

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