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If this were one of the Godfather movies, Jared Kushner would long ago have been garroted by Keith Schiller in a black Escalade parked outside Trump’s golf club in Bedminster, NJ.

“You have to answer for Sergei,” Trump would tell him. “And Vnesheconombank, too.” Then Jared would realize his fate was sealed. Maybe he’d cling to a shred of hope as he climbed up into the big car, but deep down he’d know. You can never cross The Family and survive.

But this isn’t The Godfather. Instead of Don Corleone, we have Donald Trump in a White House filled top to bottom with Fredos. They’re all intemperate fuck ups who can’t be trusted to run a simple numbers game without knocking up half the waitresses. Which is why Jared Kushner, who poses an obvious and growing threat to the Trump administration, remains the president’s most trusted adviser.

On Monday, the Wall Street Journal peeled back another layer of the reeking onion to reveal that Donald Trump’s own lawyers told him in June that Kushner had to go. Because it’s really fucking stupid to keep a guy in the White House who had multiple contacts with Russian government and financial figures that he “forgot” to disclose on his security clearance forms, eighty-five times. (Or like at least three.) Especially when scary special counsel Robert Mueller and his legal team that never loses are deep in your shit over those same Russian connections.

By June, when the lawyers told the president of their concerns, federal investigators had begun examining a meeting during the transition that included Mr. Kushner and the Russian ambassador to the U.S., and another one that he held with the head of a Russian-run bank that has faced U.S. sanctions.

Trump attorneys were also aware of a meeting that hadn’t yet been made public: one at Trump Tower in June 2016 that involved a Russian lawyer with ties to the Kremlin, Mr. Kushner and the president’s eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., according to people familiar with the matter.

Hold up! Did they say JUNE? Trump’s lawyers told him in June that Kushner and DJ were in deep shit because they’d had that meeting with all the Russians at Trump Tower to discuss bouncy Russian babies, OR financial sanctions against Putin and his merry band of thieving oligarchs, OR compromising information on Hillary Clinton stolen by Russian hackers depending on how hard you’re squeezing Don Jr.’s nuts when you ask him about it?

UHHHHH…..

So Donald Trump was telling a big fat fucking lie on July 8 when he drafted Don Jr.’s statement that the June 2016 meeting at Trump Tower had been entirely unrelated to the campaign? And even if DJ didn’t tell his father about the meeting at the time (HAHAHA), the president knew exactly how bad it was in June, weeks before he lied about it to the press?

After some members of the legal team aired their concerns to Mr. Trump in June, including in at least one meeting in the White House, press aides to the legal team began to prepare for the possibility that Mr. Kushner would step down, drafting a statement explaining his departure, said people familiar with the matter. […]

Anticipating that the meeting would become public, members of the legal team in June already had developed talking points to manage the political fallout—including a statement that would explain a potential Kushner resignation. The statement on behalf of Mr. Kushner expressed regret that the political environment had become so toxic that what he viewed as a standard meeting was becoming a weapon for Mr. Trump’s critics, according to two people familiar with the documents.

OKAY, THEN!

All the lawyers in Trumpworld are now in crazy spin mode. The WSJ article has three different versions of the story of what Donald Trump knew about Kushner’s Russia problem and when he knew it.

Version 1: He Never Knew!

Crazy Mark Kasowitz insists that no one ever suggested that Kushner had to go. Perish the thought! Any minimally competent attorney would have flagged Kushner’s legal conflict as a major problem, but Kasowitz will pinky swear it never came up.

I never discussed with other lawyers for the President that Jared Kushner should step down from his position at the White House, I never recommended to the President that Mr. Kushner should step down from that position and I am not aware that any other lawyers for the President made any such recommendation either.

No wonder he got pushed out in June. But Sarah Huckabee Sanders appreciates his service, because it made it easier for her to get up and lie about it in the White House press briefing yesterday.

No conversation that I’m aware of. And certainly no presentation, as both the president’s attorneys have gone on record to say.

That’s a pretty careful parsing, Sarah! You don’t personally know about any conversation, and if there was one, then it didn’t rise to the level of a presentation. Right!

Version 2: The Lawyers Talked About It, But No One Ever Told The Old Man!

John Dowd, who took over as Trump’s lead attorney for the Russia investigation after Marc Kasowitz’s shortcomings hit the papers, insists that no one ever mentioned to Trump that his son-in-law’s Russian entanglements might pose a problem.

John Dowd, who first joined the legal team in June and now heads it, said in an interview Monday that “to my knowledge” the proposal wasn’t taken to Mr. Trump. Mr. Dowd also said he did not side with some of his colleagues who believed Mr. Kushner needed to go.

“I didn’t agree with that view at all. I thought it was absurd,” Mr. Dowd said. “I made my views known.” He called Mr. Kushner “absolutely terrific” and “a great asset, real gentleman, a pleasure to work with.”

Kush is just such a prince, they’ll never be able to solve the Middle Eastern-Drug-China-Tech crisis without him. Unpossible!

Version 3: Trump Knew The Whole Time!

The WSJ cites multiple, unnamed sources who verify that Trump’s legal team did, too tell him that Kush had to go after Robert Mueller was appointed Special Counsel in May.

Some of President Donald Trump’s lawyers earlier this summer concluded that Jared Kushner should step down as senior White House adviser because of possible legal complications related to a probe of Russia’s involvement in the 2016 presidential election and aired concerns about him to the president, people familiar with the matter said.

Kushner’s ongoing presence in the White House poses an obvious danger to everyone around him. If Mueller has reason to suspect that Kushner discussed the Russia probe, he can subpoena all parties to the conversation.

If, for example, Mr. Kushner mentioned the probe—even casually in a meeting—aides who heard his remarks could face inquiries from Mr. Mueller’s agents. Some lawyers were also concerned that Mr. Kushner might discuss the probe with the president without a lawyer present.

And once a person is in front of the grand jury, there is no controlling what Mueller will ask him. Which is why Kushner should have been walled off from the President from Day 1!

So, Why Doesn’t Trump Just You’re Fired Him?

GOOD QUESTION. Why the hell is Jared still employed at the White House? It’s downright bizarre, if you think about it. Everyone else in Trumpland is Trump’s Guy. They’re all toadies like Michael Cohen and Omarosa. Or family like Ivanka and her moron brothers. Even Gary Cohn is Trump’s Guy because he needs Trump to get the stupid tax cut through. Cohn and Mnuchin put all their chips on That Idiot — if he goes down, they get nothing.

But Jared is different. Jared is desperate to save his family business, which is on the hook for a billion dollars after he steered them into high-end commercial real estate just before the bottom dropped out of the market. He’s the only one with divided loyalties, so in a very real sense, he’s not Trump’s Guy. Which made him an easy mark for the Russian oligarchs.

Irony of ironies, Donald Trump screwed everybody that ever worked with him, but he can’t You’re Fired the one person who can take down his whole administration. It would be tragic if the Old Man didn’t deserve every bit of what’s coming.

We see you, Boychik! And so does Robert Mueller.

[Wall Street Journal]

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  • FauxAntocles

    Too bad, so sad!

  • Zonath

    Maybe Trump just sees a younger, prettier version of himself in Jared, and he wants to nurture that spark: A continual fuck-up who has run his family business into the ground and who is married to a woman whom Donald desperately wants to fuck.

    • OutOfOrbit

      and [has] fucked, at least with a stubby finger, i betcha allegedly

    • bbayliss

      There’s something oddly, disgustingly, perversely probable about this idea.

    • Ricky Gay

      Chauncy Gardener: “I like to watch!”

    • mailman27

      A pattern emerges.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Rule of thumb for Trump administration:

    Everything they say is a lie.

    • bbayliss

      And there’s no fucking chess game.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Including “a” and “the.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Jared wanted to spend more time with his failing real estate deals.

  • Covfefe’s Evil Twin

    tick, tick, tick.

  • Edith Prickly

    The answer to all those questions is YES, TRUMP IS THAT FUCKING STUPID.

  • bbayliss

    C’mon, trump was a few feet away from this meeting and didn’t attend or at least follow on his phone?

    • OneWhiteWhisker

      He was absolutely on the phone, that’s who Manafort, was it? had on the line during the meeting. I have zero doubt about that. They figured if he wasn’t there in person it would be safe but hey, PHONE RECORDS PEOPLE.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Tl;dr: they are lying POSes. All of them, Katie.

    • bbayliss

      It’s been well established that it’s their default setting.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Piece o’ shitses!

      • Covfefe

        Puhleeze. Pieces o’ shit.

  • Scooby

    Can we take them all to Louis Resturant in the Bronx?

    • RMKH

      As long as you come out of the bathroom with votes.

    • exinkwretch

      “Best veal in the city.”

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Jared is also pushed the Dunce to fire Comey, which has worked out spectacularly.

  • canes_pugnaces

    There are so many parallel, conflicting, alternate and false stories, one assumes that there is spreadsheet, or bingo card, somewhere in the orange-slime house where they are all kept track of.

    • mailman27

      I’m going with the bingo.

  • Wolf Tracker

    I would not be surprised if Jared and Ivanka resign soon as they are getting major pressure from Dems over their security clearances and their positions in the white house make them very big targets for charges.

    If they resign and agree to cooperate with Mueller they may just save their asses from prison and I am sure their lawyers are pushing them to do that.

    • canes_pugnaces

      They will never, ever in a million years cooperate. Honest. Unless it serves, that is.

      • Wolf Tracker

        Ivanka my not want to flip on daddy but I think Jared would to save his scrawny ass in a minute.

      • OneWhiteWhisker

        Jared’s familiar with what goes on in prison from his father being there. He won’t want to repeat the experience, I’m sure.

    • BigCSouthside

      I wonder if they know dear old dad will definitely throw them to the wolves to save his own ass. I have no doubt that even his kids aren’t safe. I don’t even think he lives them. I think he lives that they worship him (which he conditioned them to do)

      • Wolf Tracker

        He uses his own kids and they would have to be stupid not to see that and take an exit to save themselves but we will see.

      • Stulexington

        Well, even if they think they’re immune to Trump, I’m sure there’s plenty of state side shit that Mueller’s managed to dig up that even president daddykins can’t shelter them from.

      • Rags

        If 4-5 fires him, who will solve the middle East crisis, reform the Federal bureaucracy, take care of NAFTA, heal relations with China………?

        • Marion in Savannah

          That should be “heel” relations with China, according to the Trump Spelling Guide.

    • Covfefe

      Vanka is the key. Who does she want more? The father of her children or the grandfather of her children? What does the prenup, of any, look like? The will? What good is keeping Jared on a string when 666 inevitably flops?

  • memzilla Ω

    What Mueller’s team is learning from the lower-level toadies is exactly what questions to ask the higher-level conspirators so they can get nailed on not just obstruction and collusion, but lying about it. We want to see ALL THE HANDCUFFS!
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/90faec915ab3eb96d5ca3637f206b7027f6632e41fefbb10c83ff39b7e9b777a.gif

    • John McLaughlin

      If America is really great then Trump and his crew will be kicked out of DC. Hopefully prison time will be had by some.

      • Ms.Moon

        NY State Attorney Schneiderman wants Trump and all the Trump adjacents as well Mueller is sharing information with Schneiderman. Even if Trump pardons anybody there are still state charges and I’m guessing many of them will be RICO changes I’m sure there are enough charges for everyone from all the crimes they’ll be locked up for years.

  • BigCSouthside

    Trump is bringing those that know the most closest to him.

    Anyone else think Schiller leaving might have something to do with him rolling on trump because he’s knee deep in Felix Sater’s bullshit?

    • Mr. Blobfish

      I do now.

  • Of course, the ultimate Trump fuck-up will be to grace us with President Ryan or President Yertle unless the indictments don’t come down until after 11/2018.

    • shivaskeeper

      Yertle is not in the succession. In fact, Elaine Chao, who is of course Yertle adjacent, and would be #14 on the list will be skipped if it ever gets down that far. She is a naturalized citizen and therefore ineligible to serve as President.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Please please please let Vice President Mother go down with the ship, Santa.

      • i know i know i say this all the time but still:

        jeffy the bigoted elrond for me.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      The Senate President Pro Tempore would be next in line after Ryan. That would be…

      Orrin Hatch

      !!!

      ???

      • Rags

        Was there ever a more important time to make every effort to flip Congress?

      • Covfefe

        Is Hatch going to run for reelection in 2018?

        Who is the GOP senator with the next longest service?

        But, then again, GOP senators don’t have to select their longest serving senator to be president pro-tem. Who would GOP senators select if they were fixing to vote for impeachment?

        • BosGrl

          Didn’t we hear that he’s not?

      • Shibusa

        I cannot stand that prissy, stuffed shirt Hatch.

      • xintheline

        Orrin ‘Corporate Whorin’ Hatch.

    • Buzz1313

      McConnell’s got a hand in all this shit,too. Remember how he shot down Obama’s suggestion about going public together about the Russia stuff? To me he’s just as guilty as the rest of him. Look what he got out of it: a Supreme and a gig for his wife.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    President Daddy thinks Jared is all about President Daddy, but Jared is all about Jared, the coal-eyed, soulless ghoul.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      I believe that’s “kohl-eyed,”ordinarily – unless you’re trying to imply that Jared is a snowman.

      Actually… white, chilly, doesn’t speak… I take it back – I think you have it right!

      • Mr. Blobfish

        Black like a shark. But I didn’t want to insult all those sharks out there that serve a purpose.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          He’s kind of a remora anyway.

          • Roadstergal

            With no remora-se.

        • TundraGrifter

          Quint? Is that you?

          “Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he’s got…lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eye. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin’ and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’ they all come in and rip you to pieces.”

          It does sound like the Trump White House.

    • Ricky Gay

      Ghoul libelz

    • Shibusa
  • Mr. Blobfish

    If Jared does succeed in bring down Trump, imagine the anti-semitic howlings from the alt-right.

    • The Librarian

      You mean more than usual?

  • BadKitty904
  • Arolpin

    Here’s my take on this. The Drumpf administration is acting like a bunch of unreformed Comeys. As stated in the story, “After some members of the legal
    team aired their concerns to Mr. Trump in June, including in at least
    one meeting in the White House, press aides to the legal team
    began to prepare for the possibility that Mr. Kushner would step down,
    drafting a statement explaining his departure.” So you are saying that they were preparing a statement before they knew all the possible facts, and before a decision was made? I’m sure that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is going to push the Department of Justice to investigate the White House and the White House attorneys, right? She’ll announce it at the next press conference maybe?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    “Leave the gun, take the lox.”

  • BadKitty904

    OT: A tiny step in the right direction…

    After 2016 Election Hacks, Some States Return to Paper Ballots
    It’s one of the ways states are trying to address growing concerns about the cybersecurity of voting.
    http://www.governing.com/topics/politics/gov-virginia-paper-voting-machines-georgia.html

    • shivaskeeper

      But… but, but, people will have to wait on the results. I mean these things have to be counted and whatnot. How is this an advancement of the expectations of the people for instant gratification?

      • BosGrl

        We have paper ballots in Mass with what I think is an optical scanner? So we have the actual hard copies but the machine counts the votes.

        • shivaskeeper

          You don’t understand. Those things can take minutes to tally results. I want it now. I don’t have minutes to spare.

          • BosGrl

            Yes, sir! Right away, sir! :D

      • BadKitty904

        They’ll deal with it, as Americans have done since the founding of the Republic. Esp. once the media realizes that having to wait for vote-counts will allow them to sell more advertising space.

        • Marion in Savannah

          You may be onto something there!

          • BadKitty904

            <– subtle as a flagpole

        • shivaskeeper

          No. Now.

          • BadKitty904

            Now, now. “If wishes were horses…

          • shivaskeeper

            I have horses. We are not talking about horses. I want my result now dammit. Now. s/

          • BadKitty904

            I want a hundred jillion dollars, too, but I’m not getting that, either.

            Say, speaking of horses, how did Mrs. Keeper and her brave steed do on that cross-country race?

          • shivaskeeper

            92 place out of 92 finishers with 8 minutes left on the official clock. Dead last, but she and her noble steed finished and were judged fit to continue for the completion. The horse was in better shape than her at the end. Mrs Keeper was hurting at the end.

          • BadKitty904

            “Finishing” is the key. And yah, I’ve done enough horseback riding to bet that she sure was. But she toughed it out like a champ!

          • shivaskeeper

            100 miles of serious technical high desert, mountain, and canyon terrain in 100+ degree heat is no joke. She finished. I am proud of her. It was a lot of work and a lot of saving pennies for her to be able to do it.

          • BadKitty904

            And she’ll have a tale to tell for the rest of her life!

          • shivaskeeper

            Yes. Endlessly.

            I joke.

          • BadKitty904

            See how you are?

      • Covfefe

        You have to learn how to work a story. With paper ballots, ratings wouldn’t collapse at midnight or 1am. Counting could go on for days. It’s made for the 24-hour cycle.

  • shivaskeeper

    Once again, the sheer arrogance of these fucks is staggering. They didn;t care if they were caught. They really didn’t. This is what happens when you never have to face consequences for what you do.

  • geoffalnutt

    Just wait until someone calls that number!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHrnLOb1hTA

  • At least his middle school yearbook portrait was nice.

  • TundraGrifter

    Mr. Trump is between Iraq and a hard place. Kushner’s lies on his Federal disclosure forms expose Ivanka to tremendous legal liability. He knows if he cuts Kushner loose the dominos will begin to fall very quickly.

    I still think it’s at least 50-50 Kushner will flip like a greasy spoon pancake.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    “But this isn’t The Godfather. Instead of Don Corleone, we have Donald Trump in a White House filled top to bottom with Fredos. They’re all intemperate fuck ups who can’t be trusted to run a simple numbers game without knocking up half the waitresses.”

    C’mon, they can handle things! They’re SMART!

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, Don Trump can be turned into torn dump…

    • Invisible Bunyip

      Only the best Fredos!

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    A behind the scenes look of Sarah Huckabee preparing her answers for today’s press briefing.
    https://image.freepik.com/free-vector/10-free-vector-ink-scribbles-and-scratches_7450.jpg

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Perp Walks. That is all.

    • XYZ

      I’m holding out for a good old-fashioned necktie party.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        No, no, no. They all need to suffer for a LONG time. As poors. Forever.

        • BosGrl

          After prison, Jared and company need to be in jobs where their managers are no older than 19.

  • Me not sure

    Primo Fredo should be the title for Jared. The cherry on the shit sundae.

  • WeaselPoo

    Remember that saying “it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up” ?

    Well…now it’s “AOTK”.

    • Covfefe

      Mueller is doing the cover-up; Schneiderman is doing the crime(s).

  • Shibusa
    • Marion in Savannah

      From this to FSM’s noodly appendages.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Ramen!

        • NerdWithNoName

          Parmesan be upon him.

    • Me not sure

      Maybe he’s hoping to get first choice on the bunks if they share a cell.

    • BosGrl

      Look at him: He really is fucking creepy. I’ve said this before, but he is the evil upper classman in every boarding school movie.

      • puredog

        James Spader could have played him well at one point, but that’s target gone by.

      • Meccalopolis

        Dead eyes

    • Skwerl the Nazi Puncher

      You know when he breaks he’s going to think, “I am glad that it is out in the open now!”

  • SayItWithWookies

    So did Kushner develop his own corrupt Russian entanglements entirely outside of Trump’s, or were they related? Trump’s go back to at least 2006 or so (maybe earlier) but I’m not sure at what point Kushner started fucking up his own business enough to need to go into the money laundering business to shore up his income. I’m wondering because if Trump hasn’t fired Kushner yet for reasons other than being an in-law, maybe they have some deeper collusion that they’re both hoping doesn’t get disclosed. Salivate over that for a few minutes.

    • GoutMachine

      Oh, me likey. /looks wistfully in the distance

    • Marion in Savannah

      Well, Kushner bought 666 Fifth Ave. in 2007, overpaid, and had to sell it at fire sale prices:

      In January 2007, Tishman Speyer, along with the German investment firm TMW, announced the sale of the building to the Kushner Properties for $1.8 billion (about $2.2 billion real value), at the time the highest price ever paid for an individual building in Manhattan.[2] This was an unconventional price for such a short building by New York standards, standing at 483 ft (147 m). 666 Fifth is not among the top 100 tallest buildings in New York City, but its high price was mainly because of its location on Fifth Avenue near Rockefeller Center. Kushner sold the retail condominium portion of 666 Fifth to a Stanley Chera-led group for $525 million in 2008 (about $620 million real value).[10] In March 2017, reports were made that Anbang Insurance Group of China was in talks to purchase an interest in the building, based on a value of $2.85 billion ($1.6 billion for the office section, and $1.25 billion for the retail section); some of the alleged terms of the deal were called “unusually favorable,” including an exit for Vornado Realty Trust and retirement of the Kushner organization’s remaining debt at 20 cents on the dollar, raising concerns about political influence on the Donald Trump presidential administration due to Jared Kushner’s position.[11] Shortly after the reports were made, Anbang denied that they were looking to invest in the building.[12]

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/666_Fifth_Avenue

      • Red Bird

        The math doesn’t add up.

      • Buzz1313

        Jared, you IDIOT!!! Why would he make a purchase like this? He had something up his sleeve and it bit him hard. Wonder what he was up to?

    • Beanz&Berryz

      So many questions to ask…. And a billion dollar debt hanging over his head…

    • Shibusa

      Well, Kushner did do a huge real estate deal with a Russian oligarch named Leviev. That guy was or is involved with a company called Prevezon Holdings that Preet Bharara went after for allegedly attempting to launder money using Manhattan real estate. Oh and the $ was looted from the Russian treasury.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      Kushner: I need a lot of money, Quickly.

      Trump: Go talk to Sater. He’ll get you in touch with the right people.

      Kushner: Where?

      Trump: In Russia.

      Kushner: But how do we get the money in?

      Trump: Don’t worry, we’ve done it before.

      Kushner: Is it legal?

      Trump: At this point, you’re bankrupt so what do you care.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Yeah, that’s the part I don’t understand — because even when they’re broke, rich people still manage to do okay. Rich broke isn’t anything like poor broke, and Kushner’s company would’ve been bankrupt but as we see, that’s not an obstacle that can’t be overcome. He panicked and got in way deep with some deadly sketchy people, when he could’ve just taken his lumps and started over.

        • OrdinaryJoe

          “Rich broke isn’t anything like poor broke…” There is a country/western song lyric in that thought.

          • Meccalopolis

            I took my limo to the dollar store

    • WeaselPoo

      I think you’ve made an excellent case for the immediate establishment of an investigation into how the Ukraine paid Hillary to Bemghazi the War on Christmas with ransgender bathrooms.for antifa.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Pizza parlors owned by immigrants.

      • Maybe

        You’ve probably anticipated a new Trump twitter-fart by about one day.

  • BadKitty904

    “president” Trump on the stand…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-95QqBXLG2I&t=61s

  • Red Bird

    I’m predicting early October for the other shoe to drop. Hurricane recovery or not, the truth is about to come out. I’m telling you Pency is already picking out his swearing in suit and working on his condescending smile.

    • GoutMachine

      Muellermas in October! October Surprise!

      However, Pence doesn’t need any work on his condescending smile. He already has that nailed down.

      • Red Bird

        More like Octoberfest.

    • Lord Jim

      Pence needs to be worrying more about his sentencing attire.

    • puredog

      It needs no work. It is perfect as is.

  • jesterpunk

    Dear Baby Jesus and Santa,

    All I want for Christmas is for the entire Trump administration to be impeached and locked up. I have been good this year and if you can give me that I promise not to ask for anything ever again.

    Thanks

    • BosGrl

      PS – If you could throw in Pence and Ryan…

      • jesterpunk

        I did say his entire administration to cover Pence.

        • BosGrl

          You did! Sorry, Santa, I just got excited!

          • jesterpunk

            But Ryan and the rest of the house leadership that knew about it before the election would work too.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      P.S. – If you could broadcast the perp walk live, that would make it extra special.

      • jesterpunk

        “No one has better ratings for a perp walk then I did. I had the best ratings ever”

        Trump.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          I could live with that.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Put it on pay per view and you could wipe out the national debt.

      • puredog

        Perp-walk him down the Trump Tower escalator where he announced his candidacy.

        • Paul

          Perfect.

          Well, almost perfect. Perfect would be if a dog pissed on his leg as they were bumping his head putting him in the car. Know any dogs in Trump Tower? Preferably LARGE ones?

    • mailman27

      There’s a joke in there somewhere about Santa, the Trump administration and a pack of Ho’s.

    • Maybe

      I also want them all to go bankrupt, permanently this time. That would hurt the Trumpster most of all.

  • OrdinaryJoe
  • Relativicus

    I like how two of three excuses amount to the attorneys failing to properly represent Trump.

  • TimResistit

    Maddow talked to someone recently who said they don’t expect a report from Mueller until after thanksgiving.

    • Maybe

      Even that sounds too soon given the scope of the investigation and the Watergate pattern. Perhaps Mueller will be doing a sequence of reports given the different aspects of the investigation. Whatever, I just want them to last until late next year.

      • Ms.Moon

        Then New York AG Schneiderman can haul everyone to court where they will still face charges and jail time because they cannot be pardoned for state crimes.

        • Maybe

          I expect that a lot of states, and even other countries, may be interested in pursuing what Mueller uncovers. If Trump’s federal tax returns are as phony as I suspect, it is likely that his state returns mirror the same numbers.

          • Ms.Moon

            This might be a situation where he has to go to all the courts how many countries have Trump properties? His lawyers will not be getting paid bigly.

          • Maybe

            Trump’s tentacles are widely spread into a whole lot of locales not covered by Presidential pardons.

            There are also civil actions that could be brought.

            And I’m pretty sure that those lawyers we taxpayers aren’t paying will probably be shorted anyway. That’s what Trump does.

    • Meccalopolis

      Better not be just obstruction cuz congress has got all they need to impeach on that and haven’t done jack

  • Covfefe

    OT. The way I figure out a new post is up is that new non-comments on the formerly current post fall off. Do youse guys realize there are two, count ’em, two new posts up and everyone, including me, is still obsessing over Jared’s sorry bottom?

    • chicken thief

      Huh? Our non-comments fall off? But some of them are truly comedic jewels! And some are full of real true honest to goodness knowledge! I learn stuff from the Wonkette – save the non-comments!!!!

  • OrdinaryJoe
    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      So, they’re going to catch Jared with Sean Bean at the Old North Church?

  • Maybe

    It’s getting really hard to tell who lies most: lawyers, politicians, or New York real estate guys.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    “You have to answer for Sergei,” Trump would tell him. “And Vnesheconombank, too.”

    Small quibble: Trump could not possibly pronounce “Vnesheconombank.”

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      If he borrowed money from them, you know he learned how to say their name.

  • marxalot

    The thing about a grand jury is, indeed, that once you’ve got one impanelled, you can ask almost anything you damn well please. The burden of proving relevance gets substantially lighter real fast.

  • Lord Jim

    Oy vey, this Jared shmuck has more stories than Isaac Bashevis Singer!

  • theblackdog

    I have a feeling that even if Trump ends up out of office and a felon for the rest of his life, we’re not going to know how deep the Russian connection went until decades later.

    • Rickyphoo

      I hope I am still around when the produce the Docudrama of this clusterfuck.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Who in the White House has the highest ratio of trust from Trump to actual competence–Jared or Omarosa?

    • Mike Steele

      Trick question?

    • subatomic

      Well, the denominator tends to zero in both cases.

  • chicken thief

    What’s unique about Jared? All of those on the campaign and transition teams seem to have some culpability. With Flynn and Manafort already in the cross hairs, Sessions and Nunez still in the gubmint, and plenty of others – Carter Page, Miller, Don Jr, etc that can shed light, what would Jared add?

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      An indictment of his wife, Dolt’s precious.

      • Courser_Resistance

        Oooohhh, that’s make the Orange Creature Assplode!!

    • Crystalclear12

      He looks the most breakable?

  • Bureaucrap

    I think the answer here is that both Trump and Jared can both throw each other under the bus multiple (perhaps hundreds of) times. They are stuck together like Bonnie and Clyde, Sacco and Vanzetti, or Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy (Jeff Dunham and Dead Terrorist for the kiddies).

  • John McLaughlin

    Donald is preparing Jared for the big chair.

    • BadKitty904

      He’s prolly calculating Iwanka’s resale value.

  • Zyxomma

    I STILL want to wake up in the alternative universe where none of this is happening.

    • JustDon’tSayDignity

      Me too. It would be confusing, but the good kind of confusing, like we like.

    • puredog

      Or, failing that, the alternate universe where it is happening MUCH FASTER.

    • Buzz1313

      Mindreader!

    • psychobroad

      Yes, if I,can wake up to President Clinton…

      • gffish

        Waking up to even a Presidency of George Clinton of Parliament- Funkadelic would be better than living through the reign of the short-fingered, p***y-grabbing, ill-tempered, white supremacist, narcissist-in-chief who occasionally inhabits the White House when not bleeding the U. S. Treasury dry with his frequent trips to his own resorts. http://georgeclinton.com/

  • The Librarian

    Will Jared “stay or will he go”? I think Jared is out for Jared and will do whatever works out best for Jared. Which may mean flipping if he can get the most minimal of prison sentences or possibly immunity. If he “can’t get no satisfaction”, he’ll take his chances with a court date.

    • gratuitous

      Jared is trapped. He owes a lot of money to the wrong people. He’s trying to parlay his position in the White House into a big payday, but it’s like sinking a three-rail shot during an earthquake. Not likely, but it’s really his only chance. Anyone who’s thinking of helping has to figure that the odds of getting some of Jared’s guilt slopped over on them is pretty good. Not a very good position.

    • puredog

      If he goes there will be trouble. If he stays it will be double.

      • Vacuous Virgina

        Scheisse 😬 Beat me 2 it 😉

        Still, he’s gots to let us knows
        Wills he stays or wills he.go?

        (Don’t keep me in suspenders 😉)

  • puredog

    Good thing you’re not on Trump’s legal team, 5$F. (Or should that be “$5F”?)

  • whitroth

    Hey, you forgot that Trumpolini himself had probably been money laundering for the Russians… how do you *think* Jared got into it?

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      “Well, my boy… now that you’re part of the family, let me show you a little trick I learned for raising capital…”

      • Vacuous Virgina

        Thx fsm 😇

        Raising ANY part of his anatomy … especially THAT one 🙅🙅 … should void all apparently-human insurance policies immediately 😂😈😂

  • AngryNotSoOldHippy .

    “Why Doesn’t Trump Just You’re Fired Him?”

    Because these filthy Republican traitors know that when they start ratting out each other and firing people who will talk, they all get assfucked in prison for 10 to 20.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I promise to be ever so good and never ever scare the kitty or track mud in the house ever again if I can see Jared in an orange jump suit.

    • John McLaughlin

      That would be sweet, sweet justice (if crimes were indeed committed).

  • Mike Steele

    Since, in the polyglot theology that is Wonkette, flock tends toward the karmic, we contend that there is NO misfortune the old man doesn’t have coming – may it happen in our lifetimes.

    • laineypc

      The one I’d like to happen most is probably the least likely. That he develops the capacity to feel remorse.

  • Trump knew the entire time. The ENTIRE time

    • TundraGrifter

      You’re suggesting a notorious micromanager knew about the meeting that was going to sink Sec. Clinton’s candidacy? That when Mr. Trump promised bombshell revelations about her in the next few days those were going to come from this little sit down? You think Kushner and Jr. couldn’t wait to brag to Big Daddy about the coup they were about to score?

      That’s your point?

      I think you are absolutely correct.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Oh great. Daddy issues. Again.

        Or is it Daddy Issues: The Next Generation?

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    We’re spending an awful lot of time and money here just to have the congress scream “fake news” and drop the whole thing. Remember the good old days when representatives had to pretend they gave a shit if the President was in fact a criminal?

  • TundraGrifter

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders looks like the fourth grade teacher from your nightmares.

    • HazooToo

      Her one freaky eye distracts me more than her Dolores Umbridge fashion sense.

  • Weird Fishes

    Follow the money. Just follow it. Over there, where it goes around the corner. Or here, where it’s hiding behind that tree. See? See it? Follow it. Follow. It.

    The money. That’s where this is leading, it’s where this has always been leading.

    It will always be about the money with these guys. Donny in particular. Especially Donny.

    Cash is king, baby.

  • Old Man Yells at Cloud

    Frito-Jr-Inlaw has things pretty well set up. No doubt that he has the dirt to send Lil’Donnie Two-Scoops to the big house so Lil’Donnie Two-Scoops has to protect or he’ll sing like a canary to keep himself out of jail. And when the feculent hotel of cards collapses and somebody is going to get fitted for an orange jumpsuit, by being married to her, he can prevent Isvespa from testifying against him to protect daddy. Sweet….

  • SOURKRAUT

    Kushi Boy is a none-performing asset in Donnie’ s portfolio .. he is dispensable and Princess Ivanka deserves better ..

    • gffish

      Why does the self-absorbed, White House meeting-interrupting, sweatshop owning daughter of Mango Mussolini deserve anyone better than Kushi Boy?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Jared gone, Ivanka gone. Simple math. The simplest.

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